Page 7 - Ep. 436: I Mean...Cosmic Sin

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

This week we're gossin' 'bout M I L K, the disaster that is the 2022 Olympics, the impending Super Bowl, Goop taking a chomp of THAT candle, Ariana Grande's impressive impression of Jennifer Coolidge, Oscar & Razzie Stories, NYU adding a class on Taylor Swift and in celeb conspiracy corner; Did Dakota Johnson lock customers inside of a coffee shop!? Lastly, an anger filled list, blinds and Shoutz! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night, perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans. Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today.

by a song, but it's actually a good song, but I can't get it out of my head. And it's only this part of it. That makes me act so fun. It makes me spend my money. It makes me real loose like a long neck goose. Gloria, oh, baby, that's what I like. And it's because of fever. Oh, goreas.

You're giving me goose fever right now, and it's because of that one line. I can't get shantilly lace out of my fucking head. I feel like I would argue, though, that that goose is. is very tight-knit, very unloose, that goose. Are you talking about Gloria's... And her vagina. Both. Yeah, yeah.

Our Portuguese are not buttoned up tight-knit people. They wear a new outfit every few weeks holding. They are. Knock on that goose and someone will open a door. That is a stiff goose. Wow. She's wiggly waggly. How dare you?

They sit outside. They greet everyone who comes by. They are festive for the season. You couldn't get a looser goose if you asked for. one. I have had a song stuck in my head, actually. Oh, what is it? Courtesy of Taylor Swift. This is why we can't have nice things. Oh, no. Is that it's just a one line, though? Maybe it's because all the stuff going on with Kanye right now, because that's like the song she wrote, I mean, one of the many songs she wrote about Kanye and Kim. She was upset. Yeah, yeah, but it's the whole thing, you know, yeah, it's just been in my head all morning for the past couple days. I kept waking up from sleep with it in my head. That's why I can't have nice things. Absolutely. Also, you can't have nice things with a baby so that you might be thinking of it.

Like, you literally just can't have anything nice. Exactly, exactly. And that's why I understand. Cheers to my mama for putting up with all this drama. Yeah, I've just been in my head really hard. Yeah, exactly. And yeah, I can't have nice things. You guys think about baby things and I think about Gloria things.

Everything's covered in milk, spit, and urine and whatever else. Have you been watching me in my bedroom at night? I loved the milk spit Jackie era. That was a really fun one in Brooklyn. Which you just always covered in your own milk spit. Don't worry, I've been drinking oat milk lately. Ew, God, Lexi drinks. I got oat milk.

Why? I did it. I've done it. We're not supposed to drink the milk. We're not supposed to drink it. It's not for us. What? It's pus.

But the thing is, it's delicious pus. I'm so into the pus. You know, my children go through. through about five-half gallons of cow's milk a week. I mean, there are kids. I get that. They used to back in middle school, they called me pust or rhymes, bro.

I fucking love puss. But I just say good because I think any time we can shift towards a delicious and sustainable plant-based thing, it's a win. And I feel like I haven't even moved to oat milk. I used to be an almond milk person. And then once my kids had whole milk in the house,

I was like, what if I put some of the whole milk in my coffee? And now I'm like, yum, yum, yum. And now I'm back on the whole milk and the coffee. Well, I had to, I was out of milk one morning and I always have cereal in the mornings now. And I replaced it with, had to replace it with oat milk one morning. Because I ran out of my own milk and I made me want to walk to the nearest highway and lay down in the middle. No, you're twilight Bella. You can.

Yes. Do you have a family? I wanted to scream the name of a sexy vampire man until a car squashed me to piece. Oh, well, sometimes you have to go lay down in the forest and die. And sometimes you got to go get that cow's milk. And I feel like if Puster Rhymes was here, he'd be going off on like, don't must with my pus. I feel like that's going to be the number one banger out of you.

Extinction level of it. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's going to be a little cornholio. Is that what that is? We are four minutes in, and I couldn't tell you anything that's happening right now, other than oat milk. Cookey.

Oat milk. I don't even know where we stand. We're a divided house on oat milk. Oh, God. I think it's great. So two to one. Wow. I love it. I hate it so.

I'm very into it. I have disdain for it, though, because of everything we have to do to work around Lexi with the baby's dairy allergies. So I apologize to oat milk. I am misattributing my anger. I'm getting, I started therapy again this week. So I've already made huge progress.

What he made. Massive progress. Massive progress. After a simple meet and greet session where we didn't do anything other than kind of establish what we need to work on,

I would say I'm pretty much good to go. So I will be ending therapy because as you can see, I've already decided I'm misattributing my anger. Wow. After you poured your cereal

with old milk and you just threw it against the wall and walked out into the street. You decided you didn't need therapy anymore. He was all, fix. I'm fine.

I'm lying. I'm okay. It's like Euphoria. What is she saying, Euphoria, Cindy, sweetie? I've never been happier my life. God, I love that show. So fucking much. Oh, my God, euphoria is so good. Oh, my God, this episode this week, don't even, but you can listen to me at least just, oh, tightly speak of it over on talking TV. Can you imagine how the Olympic Winter Athlete. feel right now.

God, Jack, you said that article to me. I'm like, believe. That's that. If you guys have not looked into what is going on in Beijing, with the quarantine, and with what these people, these athletes that have worked so fucking hard to get to where they are and just watching minute by minute, day by day,

your dreams being dashed upon the rocks. And like, they can't train. They can't stretch. They have nowhere to go. They're all trapped. They're being given food, like, fire festival. Let the athletes stretch. They need to stretch.

They're so tight. They're going to just pretzel up into a tiny little rubber band ball. I mean, my fucking soas, was it, psoas? Even my pussy muscles right now from sitting too much or tight. I got a stretch. And I'm not up there on my skis. My balls are black and blue from sitting on them. I couldn't even tell you how bad.

It's like a Chinese hotel room over here. I will say it does sound like my purest, like a total anxiety nightmare. Like, could you imagine just being stuck in this room? You don't know when they're going to let you go out. It's based on tests they keep making you take, but you don't know if the results even are madder. Or whether or not they are even telling the truth. They're giving you inedible food to eat the same weird meal three times a day,

which is like a handful of popcorn. and pasta and yeah it is it it just sounds like my I would lose my mind it's like almost solitary confinement it is like not good for the human brain or soul I know that I shouldn't compare my elfhood to being an Olympic athlete but I'm about to strap to fucking you know I listen I'm holding I'm pro it's not let's not compare it to solitary confinement we can take that off the table but I know I was an elf on a Nickelodeon show, MJ. You're not in China for the Olympics.

The absolutely bizarre experience of what people have had to go through whilst doing things during the pandemic under... Tell us, Jackie, I want to hear. MJ, I had to be 20 minutes from my home. I had to be 20 minutes from my home for two and a half weeks. The elves weren't even allowed to talk to each other. It was the beginning of the opening back up of Hollywood. it was a nightmare. It's not Nickelodeon's fault. It's just we're living in fear. So I get it. You had to stay in the hotel room. You had to like have food brought. Yes, we weren't allowed to leave the

hotel room. We were, we had to all drive our own cars separately to set every day. We weren't allowed to talk to each other. And at the end of the day, we got back in our cars, went back to our hotel room. We even had to have our groceries delivered. But you're in a hotel. So it's very difficult. And you're supposed to be working with children. one-on-one, but you're not supposed to get close to them, you're not supposed to touch them. How are you supposed to do it? You're making crafts. So again, it's like, give me a speed skate.

And how was the food? How was the food? Was it a tiny thing of pasta? Oh, it was just like it. It was just, well, no, it was next door to a trade-off show. It was craft service. Very good food, right? It was a lot of very well-cured meals.

Oh, yeah, I got fat. I certainly got fat during elf dog. There you get. But, well, they're losing weight. These people are like, I'm rail thin. because, oh my God, the picture of this food. I just, okay, no pasta. Well, there's a red sauce separated from the pasta.

Is that chicken without skin and boiled? It looks like squirrel is the meat. It looks like, you know what I mean? It looks like bat, bat stomachs or something. Do bats have bones? That looks like a tiny roll. April, take it out. It was a horrible question.

Turkey. You can leave it. Yeah, I just, it sounds bad. And it is weird. It's like I keep getting reminded that the winter Olympics are happening and at the same time I feel like the country, this country

doesn't want us to actually watch it because it's like in China or something this year. Yeah, it's a lot of politics involved. I don't even, it's like bizarrely handled Olympics I think I've ever seen. And I think also we were just thrown off because we just had the Summer Olympics. That's the thing.

Since the other ones were a year late, it's like, wait, what? We just had the Olympics. And also, to me, the status thing, about, fuck, it's so, there's just so many sad things. Oh, what's the sad thing? But I associate the Olympics

with like being, I love the Olympics, but my... You know we love the Olympics here on page seven. My primary association with the Olympics is like the bliss of being out in public, usually at a drinking establishment and discovering oh my God, fantastic,

the Olympics are on. You know, like, if you're at the airport and it's the fucking summer Olympics and you're just like, Oh my God, I have a fucking four hour layover at the airport and I get to watch the Olympics for four hours at the airport bar. It's like I've never been happier in my life, you know? Right.

And so you make so many friends. Yeah, it's just like, I, and it's not that you don't. I'm sure that you don't. I'm sure that. She's just like, I'm married. I am too. We're just fucking tongue kiss. She's eating.

When in Olympics, whenever it's Olympics time, when you say Olympics and you keep the Ool off the top, that's when you know we're talking about fucking on ski. It's like the world. slamming rails, watching them skate the rails. When I think about the World Cup, I think about walking down a street in Brooklyn, seeing a fucking sandwich board outside of a bar

that's like World Cup, and it's 2 p.m. And you're like, fuck it, I'll go in and watch the World Cup at 2.30 p.m. I don't care. Every once in a while you get called out for being like, you only care about the World Cup with the World Cup. So I'm like, yeah, but the World Cup's on. Yeah, but that's, yeah. But then everyone gets over it and you have a great time.

It's actually boring, but, you know, the World Cup. I still remember the 2010 World Cup, but I didn't, I thought, I went into it thinking, I don't care. I went out of it being like, I'll die for Ghana, you know, like, and so I feel like. Well, that was for different political reasons. I remember that. I'm so glad they removed the weird giant oversized cartoon T&T sticks that were attached to me. I remember that as well, MJ. That was very disturbing.

It was a weird time. There's something about the Winter Olympics that all, winter Olympics are never as fun as the summer Olympics. Yes, agreed. And then you have this thing where you're like, oh, I'm just at home. So, like, shall I watch this in my home instead of watching the other things? I watch alone in my home. I just want it to be a communal thing, you know?

I know. It's always better. I mean, that's the thing with me with football. I actually enjoy watching football. Football or football. No, American football. I love, I almost watch football all day. Yeah.

But as long as somebody says, hey, come to the bar. Yeah. All the boys are out. We're hanging. We're eating chicken wings. How many years did we watch the Miami Dolphins perform? I say perform. That's how you know how much I care.

Every Sunday we watch them perform. Nothing made me happier than like knowing we're like just started the second game. There's totally an evening game. Or like that moment in between games you're like, God, we got a whole other game. We're getting loaded. I'm making out with this 80-year-old woman. She's got her fucking hole-making. body out.

She's ripped her. People just ordered a thing of a hundred wings and then now they're ordering a hundred more. We've got a hundred. We've got a hundred wings on the way. We've got every, we've got suicide sauce. We've got fucking hot sauce. We've got we got parmesan, garlic.

Dude, we've got it all on the way. And you're doing like Irish car bombs at 10.30 a. Yeah. And you're like, I don't know why. Yes. That's the other thing. Someone just went out for more beer. Yes.

We've got, you know, we just, the weed guys coming. Yes. God, I miss those. Yeah, the wee guy gets there at like 4.30, 445, right before the night game. We got in some, bringing his own group old ladies. You're like, all, I guess his old other guy of just 80 year old, 80 plus year old women in this situation. It's crazy. Man, I fucked a lot of old ladies in Brooklyn.

I want to go to that party, Holden. When can we go to that party? Can we have that party now? An old lady young guy party? Yeah. Can I be considered, it depends on how, I mean, a consenting age of. Can I be the old woman, though? Like, is that what's gonna be?

That's a dream. That is honestly the best feeling out. You're right. You adding in the wings are on their way, MJ, and like someone just went out for a whole nut, for a total refresh on the beer run. Nothing better. Man, I miss.

Oh, you're killing me right now. Well, you've got your bowls next week. You have all the bowls, and you get to watch your bowls, and you get to eat your chilies. I'm gonna watch. It's gonna be very sterile, though. It's gonna be me and with my parents

and my wife and my baby, but we will be watching the super. That's ruckus. Bring up some old, we'll get some old broads. We'll go over the TJs. We'll round up some old braids on a Sunday. And then we bring it off. My mom is the old bro. My mother.

She'll be like, oh, good. You know what I mean? She'll ruin the old thing. She'll be like, oh, someone to talk to about old lady. Fucking job about knitting or whatever. Do you think, I know that we've talked about this in the past that, I mean, I do remind your mother of her zany friend. Carol?

Barbara. Oh, Barbara. Barbara. Barbara. Isn't there a Pam? Barbara. Barbara. So I'm just saying maybe if there's one person that maybe.

could open her up consensually. Wait, isn't there a Peggy? Doesn't your mom have a Peggy? And a Peggy, good job. Yeah, Barbara's the one who passed away. Peggy's the one who's still alive. So you just, did you just call me the one that passed away? Both will get her to have a bar and lunch.

You want me to be the fun one that's dead? Is that what you just said? You're wearing the correct clothing currently. I am wearing a leopard print shirt and my tits are hanging out of the shirt. That's so Barbara. It's so Barbara. So not Peggy though. It's so Barbara.

I'm Peggy. Everybody knows I'm Peggy. I've got Goria. I've got a goose song in my head. I've got a shantilly. That's Peggy. The porch goose is Peggy. The clothes.

Your porch goose peggy, your clothing barbara. It's like the mullet of lady friends for moms. Professional in the front, leopard print breasts hanging out and party in the back where my goose is loose. I think, oh man, if we could put up a poll right now of how many people's moms have, not just like a. icon of a friend Peggy or Barbara, but literally a friend named Peggy and or Barbara. She's got to be 60%. Totally.

I mean, between that and married with children, I've always wanted to be a Peggy. My whole life I wanted to be a Peggy. I just need to be that. Or a friend. Give me the opportunity. Totally. I am excited for the Super Bowl,

and my parents would have it used to host a Super Bowl party and they would make this really delicious big pot of chili. And I was a fuck face. who didn't like it back in the day. You're just glad that you recognize it now. Yes, I'm a big, dumb, fuck face, idiot. Moron fuckhead.

And if you want to DM me that, please feel free. Hit me up on Facebook, hit me up on Twitter. My name is whole another big dumb idiot. I was so weird about food that I didn't understand how fucking good and banging that chili was. And now I'm so thrilled that we're going to maybe make a big pot of chili and watch a Super Bowl on Sunday. Would that that be? And have the weirdest experience during the halftime show.

I'm going to be so thrilled about that halftime show, and they will have no, I don't, I'm going to look at them the whole, I'm going to stare at them the whole time. So I'm like, what is this to you? Because this is like my shit and you're just sort of, you're in my world right now. You're my world. You know what I mean?

I'll say to my parents and my daughter and my wife. But yes, they are, they will, I'm like, what is this to you? Because are you afraid of this? Because, yeah, I have like, so, this is probably my most anticipated, excited, not since like Bruce Springsteen, Beyonce. I never, man, that's my, like, I just remember that Bruce Springsteen half-time show. It was the last thing I remembered. I remember standing on the bar at second chance being like,

it's Bruce! And that's the last thing I remember. And I woke up the next morning. I got up at 5 a.m. to go to work. And I was like, it's Bruce. I remember Bruce. I don't remember anything else. It's Bruce.

I screamed, it's Bruce. That's awesome. I think Ed took me off. Of course, please. Someone has. Because I was just like up there, it's like, ah! Like in front of the television. Dude, I am, Dr. Dre, Eminem, Mary J. Blyse. Blyze, Mary J. Blige.

I'm drinking, I'm having a beer in the middle of the day. Oh, yeah, no, we're drinking today. Snoop dog. It is, I feel like I'm leaving someone out. It is such a banger lineup. Oh, you said, Eminem. I think I said, I said, I minute. I cannot wait for this.

This is like my childhood dreams come true. I never would have fathom. Thank God. We're in L.A. We earned it after all that fucking Adam Levine bullshit. Colmarine 5. This is going to be great. I never realized how little of a ball person I was that I'm my flight lands at L.A.X.

Right before, about an hour before, the Super Bowl starts. And guess what? The Super Bowl is in Los Angeles. I didn't know that. I don't know. I also didn't know that the ballists that are going to be performing. are from Los Angeles. Yeah, Los Angeles Rams.

So it's going to be nutsy sauce, if you will. And I was just like, oh, that's why it was so expensive. Oh, no. I have to drive through it. What am I going to do? I don't know what to do.

I'll be like, I support your balls. I'm going to yell that out of the window. I might get different kind of attention. But I think that that's how you really make sure you don't get to a fight on the freeway. Yeah, just keep. Put a big banner out outside of your car that says, I support your balls.

I support your balls. Free weed, maybe write free weed or something on the side. I don't want to give me a weed away, but I do know that I'm certainly not going to be handing out $75 candles that smell like my pussy and eating them for a commercial. Yes, we are talking about. We are going to be talking even more about the Super Bowl ads next week. But this particular one, which is Gwyneth Paltrow,

where she's like, she's got the pussy candle. It smells like her vagina. So in the Uber Eats commercial, she's like, but does it taste like my vagina? And then she bites into it. There's something about it. I don't know if it's just a texture thing that make, like, I feel like it's like nails on a chalkboard inside of my brain to watch her bite into a candle. That's, first of all, you're biting into a candle. So yuck.

It's not a, it's not like you're eating pussy, which yay, which very, very, yeah. And also, she's such a fucking uptight person. You know that she's not like trying to taste her own pussy. You just know she isn't, you know, so it's just like, hey, it's even thuddyer. She does anal. So she is. Yeah, it's like get a rib removed already if you mean it. Yeah, suck your own pussy if you really mean it.

She never would. She would never. She's just so, her whole thing is that she's so like, who me? Oh, as I said, it's a candle that tastes like my vagina. You know, I've gone on my Gwyneth Paltrow actually mystifying vaginas. even though she thinks she's demystifying them rant here on the show before. I don't think she's doing anything good for vaginas in your relationship with them by being like, ooh, who, who is how funny?

How funny? A candle, like a vagina. Can you imagine? You know, I just don't think that it's good for anybody. Because it is completely in, of whom is doing it because in the same article, another Uber Eats commercial, it is Jennifer Coolidge because the whole ad line is like, oh, Uber Eats doesn't just deliver food. And so in the Jennifer Coolidge, who I would live and die for her. I would do anything.

I want to be her. I want to be her friend. I want to be her Peggy. But I would never be her Peggy because she'd be my Peggy. And then we'd be Peggy and see, I guess that's what you're saying. And then that's all other situations. Too latehs. But she gets makeup delivered in her commercial and then she bites the makeup brush because it's a joke on like, but Uber Eatsk sends food.

It's hilarious when she does it. But I also think of Jennifer Coolidge can do it all wrong. So maybe I'm the one that's wrong here. No, you're right. Gweth Paltrow, Gueditha Paltrow bad, Jennifer Coolidge. Good. It's just very simple.

Jennifer Coolidge, I just, oh, God, I would do anything. I love her so much. I read this, I was reading this interview with her that she was talking about how Ariana Grande, I'm sorry, Holden. Well, now I'm fucking fired up. Go on, Jackie.

I'm sorry, Holden. She said, Arionators, ho, and everyone, like, Everybody booed her. And then she was like, Holdenator's Ariana. And everyone was like, yay! It's very upsetting.

It's completely obvious. It's right there. One thing I will say in the young girl's corner, I'm sorry, young person's corner, young woman, I don't, I don't know how old.

In my brain, she's 17. I know that she's not. I know that speak correctly about people on the internet. I don't know how old she is, but she does a great Jennifer cool. She's certainly not over 80, so I've got no interest in Rodney

you don't want a lip bang. And I get it. because I don't either. But she does a great Jennifer Coolidge impersonation. And she did it on one of the late night shows. Ariana Grande? Ariana Grande. There's a great Jennifer Coolidge.

Weirdly enough she does. And Jennifer Coolidge was like, she openly was like, thank you. I'm not even going to do it because I can't be in Ariana right now. Thank you so much, Ariana, because you like put me back into the like the greater mind escape. Wow. Not colloquialism. What's that word? What's greater mindscape?

Yeah, no. Put me back into fashion. The lexicon. What's the phrase? The lexicon. Brought up her back into the lexicon. I don't know if that's right. It could be.

And so she is now saying that she's like, I appreciated that because it's like, it almost like kickstarted people to remember who Jennifer Coolidge was. And I was like, but I never forgot. Yeah. Between Jennifer Coolidge and Bridget Everett, like those are two of my, like I'm Lily Tomlin.

You know, these are three, Catherine O'Hara, four people that I would, like, I just want to be you and I want to be your Peggy. I want. I'm gonna be yon peggy. You know like I wanna be your dog? I'm doing fine. Yeah, and I'm fired up now.

So thank you for getting me all mad about, you know, what's going on these days. I'm sorry. Maybe you should start eating on a candle that tastes like your penis. Like a candle in the vagina. Oh, I mean, it depends on the shape. I'll get it up there.

Maybe if you melt it down, I'll puddle it in there. Can we talk? I wanna talk Oscar talk, and especially more so, I wanna talk Razzie talk. Can we get into that? Yeah, of course. Where's we can't? Oh, you want to shift away from,

but we're such knowledgeable fall as people. I want to go from Super Bowl commercials to filmic experiences. All right, we're going to filmic experiences. Filming experiences. And you're not talking about moonfall, which makes me very upset because MJ,

I will say, I screamed towards Holden about Moonfall for a long time talking TV today. And, um, MJ, you also love natural disaster movies. Moonfall. Put it in your pocket. You're welcome. Do I love natural disaster movies?

Do you not love that? I guess I'll give you. your first blind item of the day. It seems as if every new movie released as of late has the chance to be the biggest bomb of all time, the space movie this week. You know, certainly will do its best to follow that trick.

It is a truly awful movie. All of you are awful. It is horrendous. I have a backup line, so I shared it with you now. It is horrible, but I will say, I think you're in line with the Los Angeles Times review. Yeah, well, I am a bit of a West Coast best. There you go.

on your life. Oh, Snoop Dog. I can't wait to see Snoop Dog. Snoop Dog, it's Tupac. I'm sorry, I was thinking of the other. Either way. Moonfall is stupid, says the Los Angeles Times, but I don't mind admitting that it feels at this point in time like my kind of stupidity.

Moonfall, to its credit, harbors no illusions about being useful. I don't know about megastructures, but this particular moon is made of purest B-movie cheese. Whoa, spoiler, fucking alert. Pisses me off. I went in, knowing anything except for the trailer. And MJ, I thought you liked natural disaster movies.

I mean, I do in the sense that I'm like afraid of global warming, but like, you know, I like, children of men. You don't love day after tomorrow? I don't know why I thought you were here with me. Yeah, I mean, and I wouldn't put, if you were going to make, like a list of the top five genres I like, I don't think I would put that up there. But I appreciate that you done. Mine's in the top two genres, I think. Really? I think, yeah, I think that I love natural disaster movies that much. Hashtag weather girl, though. I watched Twister with you guys, you know, on a page 7 stream and it changed my life, so I support that. You're welcome. And it's the same person that made Independence Day and Day After Tomorrow in 2012, which are a lot of big hitters. I'm sorry, we're not here to talk about

Moonfall. We're supposed to be talking about the Oscars. That's what we're talking about. I want to get through the Oscars. Honestly, briefly because I'd really rather talk about the Razies, but I guess I always feel like so lost. I don't think I've seen any of these. I heard Belfast is the shit. I've obviously seen Dune. And man, power the dog, cleaning up on the noms. Clean it up. Got to watch it. I didn't know that Bibbib and Bob cabbage patch is the one to be watching this Oscar season. And I had no idea that this movie was actually fun because I'm going to throw it out there. I'm going to be real open with y'all. I saw only the poster and I was like, eh, I'll get to it at some point. But it is up for so many Oscars. I was like, I guess I'll bump

it up on the list. Yeah, yeah. I think it seems to be a must watch. at this point. I'm very excited. I'm going to go this evening watch King Richard. I'm excited to watch Will Smith and his performance in that. There's a lot of big upsets this year with the Oscars, obviously. Villeneueva. How do you feel about, do you feel rude doomed, Holden? The fact that the big duneer himself was snubbed for Best Director Oscar. They're at least on there for Best Picture. So that's cool. I mean, usually don't see, I guess. Best director I meant, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, no, he got stuff for best director, which I think it's surprising.

I think the direction was fantastic in that film. But you always are surprised. I mean, they never give it to the big epic sci-fi action blockbuster movie. You know what I mean? I guess, and they certainly are not giving it to an any elephant day. Oh. Is there no Gaga or no Gucci? There's no Gaga, best actress.

There's no God. Jared Leto, best supporting, there's Nanya. It's Nanya business. That legitimizes it for me, for sure. But it's like I get to that we can't like live and die by these nominations by any means. And I do feel, I can, like, I felt like when I read the nominations this morning, I could feel Lady Gaga. I could feel her heart explode in this town. Like I was like, that's gotta suck

Because Gagah has been in every interview being like, I was the character, I lived and breathed the character. And I know that not everybody agrees with me and my review of House of Gucci, and I understand, I don't want to put it on anybody. But I am, and you know what? Spoiler alert. I think it makes sense that Bradley Cooper also wasn't nominated for Nightmare.

Ali, come at me. Come at me with it. I think I understand why he didn't get it. And I feel that I am vindicated even though anyone I talk to thinks that I am wrong and that's okay. I understand. We all have different opinions. I will say, this is from a Reddit comment, but an interesting little tidbit here,

Good year for real life couples. Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem both getting nominated. I love both of them! That is just the fifth time that a married couple have both been nominated. the same year. Also, they're not married, but they might as well be. Jesse Plymins and Kirsten Dunst. They've been in a relationship for five plus years and have two children together. Also, both got nominated. They are so good in Fargo season two where they met, and the chemistry is so apparent in that television show. That's particular season. So that's

really cool. Also, weird little tidbit. There is not a common, single common nomination between the BAFTA list for best actress and the Oscar list for best actress. That is very rare, and Gagga did get her Gaghi on the British Academy Film Awards. Whoa, I didn't realize that there's no crossover. That's a weird little one. Yeah, it's a weird year for film,

just like everything else, just like the Olympics and God knows what else. Weird year for nominations, for sure. But really cool. A couple more things. Steven Spielberg has been nominated for Best Director in six different decades. Ooh, that's fun.

Right? Also, one of only four people to receive over eight nominations total in a single lifetime. Damn. Mm-hmm. Coda gets first actor nomination for a deaf male

and first Best Picture nomination for Apple Studios. Fuck yeah. That's another interesting one. Yeah, I don't know, cool stuff. Oh, and Judy Dinch, third oldest acting nominee, 87 years old.

God, I'd love to make out with her at a Super Bowl party. Bring her over for the Super Bowl. I want a lit, lit, lick her from her head to her toes. Least to her nose. Oh, please. Now, I need to see Belfast. And there's so many of these movies

that I definitely need to watch. And there's, I think, almost even more movies I need to watch on the Razzie's list. that also just came out. I already wanted to watch Diana the musical. Now that I see it is a best, worst picture nominee and up for several other nominations. For the Razies.

Yeah, tell me about the Razies, because they sound more exciting. I don't know what any of these Oscar movies are because I have not been to a movie theater and I just don't know. And that was, to be fair, the case before the pandemic, but it was way more the case now.

I completely understand. There's a lot of these movies I also have not seen on the Razies list. But one thing that I feel we must discuss is the fact that there is a new category this year for the Razies called Worst Performance by Bruce Willis in a 2021 movie. And this was brought to my attention last night in a conversation. And I was like, wait, what movies was Bruce Willis in last year? And there are one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight movies that he was in last year. All of them have, like, fake names.

If you were writing, like, fake names for movies in, like, a week. Like, action movies. And, like, a video game or, like, a different movie. And you had to write a bunch of, like, generic, dumb names for movies. Also, if you were, like, if you were, like, Nick Cage at some point in his career was in one of these, all of these movies, I would have also been, like, absolutely. MJ, I would love it because we played this game last night. Jeff did this to me. I would love you.

Give me three names. of movies that you think in 2021 that Bruce Willis was in that could have been his worst performance. Okay. All right. I'm going to say, tomorrow never comes. Ooh, okay. All right, like it.

Oh, that's a good one. Is it C-U-M-S or is it C-O-M-E? Okay, okay, C-U-M-M-A. Yeah, I want to watch the fuck out of that. It's an edging movie. die now, try later. Ooh, another great. Give us a couple one-worders. Okay, one-waters. Yeah, give us two one-worders.

All right, I'm going to say, force. Okay. Close. Okay. All right, and I'm going to say, blunt. Love this. I love everything that you're saying. Would you like to hear? And I hope that at home you've also said aloud maybe some ideas of what you think

that the names could be because I have not heard of any of these movies. Holden, would you like to read the list of Bruce Willis movies he was in last year? Absolutely, an alphabetical order. American Siege. Okay. I should put American in one. American should have gone in one.

Second one, apex. Cosmic Sin. Cosmic Sin. I see, juicy cosmic sin. I know nothing about it. I wish it was as good as I imagine. I don't even know. Tomorrow never comes.

I think things like this. Cosmic Stens of 2021 American Science Fiction Action Film. Oh, and the year 25, 24, four centuries after humans started colonizing the other planets, retired General James Ford gets called back in his service after a hostile alien fleet. Hell yeah, he does. Tacks soldiers on a remote planet.

The threat against mankind soon escalates into an interstellar war as Ford and a team of elite soldiers try to stop. the imminent attack before it's too late. Fuck, man. Cosmic sin. Nice and general. Well, what about fucking deadlock, MJ? Deadlock.

How did I miss? Deadlock. The one you were closest to Fortress. Fortress. Oh my God, I was close. I know. See, this is the thing. If you just throw it out there.

This is my favorite titled one because this really is like, I have to come up with a fake dumb name for a movie for my like other thing. Midnight in the Switch grass. Midnight in the SwitchCardt Too? That's a real grab bag though. That's like a madlobs. It's like pick an adjective. Megan Fox. Emile Hirsch, Lucas Haas,

two FBI agents cross paths with Crawford, a Florida cop who's investigating a string of murders that appear to be related. When an undercover sting goes horribly wrong, Crawford soon finds himself in a twisted game of cat and mouse with the killer. Uh, yeah, I, great. Midnight in the Switchcrack! I am so down. in the middle of that description. So I could have a bad in trying to watch it.

That was like when Ed made me go see Rampart in fucking, when I visited L.A. I was so mad we watched that dumb, Ed will watch anything. I think that's one of my favorite parts about Ed. Ed will watch anything. Thank you. Thank you.

I love this one because it makes no sense. Out of death. We're still talking about this most films. Yeah, we have one more, one more. Out of death. Five the game. Wow. That's so close to tomorrow never comes.

Come on now. It really is. It's such a fun game to play of having people guess what names they think Bruce Wilson. Wow. I will say to Jackie, Jared Leto is nominated for worst screen couple. Jared Leto and either his 17-pound latex face, his geeky clothes, or his ridiculous accent for a house of Gucci. It's rough. have it. Dear Evan Hanson also wildly on the chopping block, which bumps me out because I really,

one of the last things I wanted to do before pandemic, before I left, New York was go see Dear Evan Hansen on Broadway. Apparently that was like just such a great show and everyone loved it. It was like this big success. And then it just, and all anyone can talk about is that like a third, man in his 30s is playing like a teenager, right? In the, in the movie version. Yeah, it's the Broadway star of it. It's just, it's just. It's different on the stage. The stage is different than putting it on to the tinier stage. Please, Katz shows us anything can be put.

And it can be successful. What is this movie Karen? What is- I don't know. And I will also say the one thing on the Razzie's list that makes me sad, I have not seen it yet. Ben Affleck is up for the last duel. And now, as someone that has been seeing almost every single movie that comes out of the movie theater, regardless of whatever it is.

I happen to have missed the last duel, but I've seen the trailer for it a hundred thousand times. And I was like, it actually looks kind of good. So I'm kind of sad that he's on it. And Karen is what you would guess it would be. A racist woman makes it her personal mission to displace the new black family

that just moved in next door to her. Community activist and his wife are the couple she's targeting, but they won't back down without a fight. It is a Karen movie, dude. Yeah, but it's Teran Manning. who's playing Karen, I do love her, but it is at least a dark comedy drama.

So at least there's that. They didn't go, I thought, as you were describing, I was like, if this is a drama, I don't know what to say. But it sounds like they did not land the dismount. Is that what they will say in the Olympics? Yeah, I think this guy makes a lot of like kind of comedy films. I think this guy might be the new like Medea type guy.

He made a movie called Who Made the Potato Salinas? and he made another movie called Gangster Rap, the Glocky. Is that the potato salad when they did the big, remember, what was that? Fifteen years ago when they like raised a bunch of money to make potato salad. Is that what it's about? Are they, is this person just taking random things from pop culture and making movies about it? I'm not saying them against it. I could tell you, but I will say, I will have a review up for Diana the musical, I think, this week.

I already wanted to watch it. This has definitely made me. need to watch it. I want to hear what you have to say about it. I also want to hear what you have to say about Taylordell Holden. There's a lot of weird. I heard about this. Swift you should do this week. It is a, it is a swifty version of Wordle. We all know what Wordle is at this point. But at the same breath this week has come out that there are NYU courses you can take about Taylor Swift now. That course looks interesting and good. I support it. It looks really interesting. And it definitely is taking all the things.

It's not just being like a Swiftie's guide through how great Taylor Swift is. I think it's definitely playing on like the cultural relevance, the love-hate relationship that I think that you know. Forming Taylor Swift as a phenomenon. It's interesting. When I was reading the syllabus, I was like, all right, I'll take this class. I would totally take that class.

Even just this first line, this course proposes to deconstruct both the appeal and diversions to Taylor Swift through close readings of her music and public discourse as it relates to her own growth as an artist and a celebrity. I do think it is an interesting thing of a tinge bit of celebrity to study, especially as she is still currently very popular

and has moved past her younger years of it to watch how people see her and how it changes through the discourse of media. Which, and Miss Americana is a great way to experience that in a just documentary format. Definitely, you know, takes you on the ride of, the weirdest thing was, you know, I got into her on reputation when she, it was so fun to hate her, you know, like everyone loved to hate her. And I think a lot of people have turned around. People still love to hate her. And I don't give a fuck if you love to hate her.

It's fine with me, you know, she's the greatest thing that's strong radio that ever existed. but I guess you can also hate money or love, you know what I mean, so I get that. But yeah. No, but like this is, I actually think that this course is, I feel like the, of course the New York Post was like, a class about Taylor Swift. Right.

But it's like, no, this is what cultural studies is like taking something like the Beatles or whatever and being like, why does this resonate with people? Right. What are the significant things about this group? How were people talking about this? How are they interpreting it? And why? And it makes total sense to do that with Taylor Swift.

I'd be interested in that for Kanye, for Beyonce, for, you know, fucking, I don't know what, Dixie Chicks. And you can do it for political figures like Obama, but you can also do it for pop culture figures. Like that's just, that is like how, you know, there's all sorts of things to like learn and examine and study about any given cultural. Or like women in their 80s, why are they so desired during like football hangouts at bars? Their toes and why do we want to move from the bed down to the floor?

Men in their 20s and why do they obsess with making out with them but only on Sundays and only at certain bars where football games are. Yeah, it's completely. And Taylirtle, I love, do you guys play Wordle? I did it, but I could not stay to it because I don't like games. I'm not fun enough. This is the thing. Maybe that's what I was thinking about earlier, MJ, of what we collage.

on is our feeling about games. You also don't like games? I don't like that. I like fun. I consider myself a fun person. I love Sadoca. I don't like a game. Don't make me play a game.

I love games. And I like that it's just this thing I do on the pooper while I'm trying to get my baby to nap in the morning. Whenever I play it, I have fun. Don't get me wrong. I'll play it. I love that it ends too.

I love that. My only problem is all these offshoots. I'm like, no, that's not the point. It's one word a day, but I will say Taylor Dole's great. I jumped in and it's so funny, it's harder for me to play that game than normal word. I'm sure. Because for some reason, it makes me go brain dead when I'm like, because I start thinking

of what it could be and I just get like. What signifies a Taylor Swift word, I guess is my question. Lovers, the name of her album. Scarf is one that was recent. But it can only be a five-letter word. Yeah. It sounds like it's any word she's ever said in her lyrics, though. Blank or space.

I mean, that's the thing. She's got a ridiculous back catalog. So there's like a bigillion five-letter words that could be. And they could even be like offshoots, you know? I think it's not fair because it's like you're not even thinking if it was just twirdle but but her just her album titles, that would be one thing. But it's like any word she's ever said. Okay. So it's just wordal.

But any word. Yeah, yeah. But you know, you refer, you look at it. Oh, I know what that means. I love you, Taylor. But I do love with Taylor. That's why people love games and Taylor Swift. I just think you're so great and you definitely write your own songs.

I don't know why that guy said all that. So, I love you. I'm sorry, I have a song to sing for her. I love you, Taylor. I'll trade you of my family for you. Oh, yeah. I think that, yeah, that's what you should go tell your parents. Especially now that they're with you.

Trade them right now is the best time. Oh, my God. Anyhow. Where are we on? We got to do a celebrity conspiracy. We do. Do you believe it? This one comes in from Morgan

and sometimes you get one in and you kiss your three little tips of your fingers and you go, ooh, that's a spicy meatball. I don't ever do that, but. Did Dakota Johnson lock customers inside of a coffee shop? Ooh. Love it.

So you're talking about Don Johnson's daughter, Dakota Johnson, right? I'm talking about. He'll only refer her as that. No, only Don Johnson's daughter. Not even her famous mother. Don Johnson's daughter. Yes, all right, continue.

A Twitter user who goes by at Biz underscore Sox, has claimed that Dakota Johnson walked into an NYC blue bottle coffee shop in 2016, told the barista she wanted to make the coffee herself. When refused, she walked outside the coffee shop, pulled a rope from her purse, and tied all the employees and customers inside the shop. Those locked inside had to bang on the door and have passers by untie them to set them free.

Morgan, a link to the tweeting question, by the way, it is real. Then, and first I'd be like, whatever. Then a similar story emerges. Another Twitter user who goes by at Benny McBamp claimed to be an employee blue bottle coffee, same coffee shop as well, and it had this to say. This is the exact tweet story.

I hate seeing Dakota Johnson trending because one time she came into my coffee shop at Milk Studios at like 11 a.m. walked behind the counter and started pretending that she was making drinks while her people tied the front doors shut from the outside and started filming her. Customers were trapped inside. When confronted, she told my coworker to move because she was, quote, too fat to be on camera, end quote. So maybe Dakota Johnson is just a huge fucking bitch. And that's why she doesn't get invited to parties.

referencing the Yellen scandal. I should add that Michelle burst into tears when Dakota Johnson said this to her, and Dakota Johnson laughed in her face. That is sweet. One theory said she did this because of a wacky vogue shoot, and I watched the video of this

where she plays like a real, it's really not that funny and it's really kind of dumb. She plays this goofy, vapid supermodel and that her coffee shop antics were in preparation for that. But either way, Morgan, aka Domeg, from our Twitch chat,

shout-outs to DeMieg. DeMegh, amazing. The best, right? Was this just Twitter hula-blue, or was it truly a coffee coup? Thank you so much. I believe it. How could you that?

I believe it's so hard. I wouldn't normally, it's the backup thing. It's the second tweet, and it's the details in the second tweet. 11 a.m. Michelle, like the thing she said to Michelle, like the rope in both answers.

I mean, it's slightly different because I guess the team, apparently she was still inside and the team outside tied it up. But regardless, yeah, what do you think, Jackie? I guess I have to believe. I have never heard anything negative about this person before. In fact, I know that like during the Ellen interview, everyone's like, everyone cited with Dakota Johnson. But I also don't know it's like, or is it just because Ellen was wrong in that situation? So that's really all I know of what to go off of her about. But I think that for fun's sake, what a weird fucking thing. I know.

You know, this is the thing. With a lot of these blind items, there's a lot of times where I'm like, well, why would anyone even make that up? Yeah. Who would waste the time to make up something like that? But the thing is that lots of people would waste the time to make up things like that. But there's something about that tying the doors shut. that is someone that did work in a coffee shop in New York and knew that when celebrities would come in or if they were shooting something out front, they took every liberty they fucking wanted and didn't really give a shit.

So I believe it. I'm going to say I believe it. Thank you. To me. Celebrities conspiracy. I love, well, I just love these wacky ones, man. What a weird, dumb. That's why I believe it.

See, exactly. It's so weird and stupid. Yeah. I mean, well, I hope you are holding on to your butts. Because while we're thinking about to go to Johnson and her blue bottles, it's time for the list. Oh. Who's on the list? Blue bottles.

Jackie! Gotta have that list. Yeah, you do. And did you know that there are 15 actors and directors who hated working with each other? Obviously. We've done these lists before. but there's someone here that I didn't know. Like Julia Roberts and Steven Spielberg.

You know how I feel about Rotten Tomatoes. You know how I feel about the movie Hook. I've never done an episode on specifically the movie Hook before, but I did not know that Julia Roberts and Stephen Spielberg did not like each other while they were shooting Hook. Her difficult onset presence earned the nickname Tinker Hell by Hook production staff. Spielberg knew she was dealing with a breakup with Kiefer Sutherland.

Oh, remember, oh, what is it? Flatliners. Anne said it was an unfortunate time for us to work together before stating that he would never make a movie with Julia Roberts again. Wow. I just recently rewatched Hook and damn, what a movie. It really holds up. What a movie. It's so good.

26% of Rotten Tomatoes. Do you agree with it, MJ? I mean, yeah. Julia Roberts? 26%? Whoa, do I agree with that? No. Thank you.

Thank you. No, it's a good movie. What's their problem? And speaking of Bruce Willis, America never comes. What was it? Tomorrow. America comes.

That's much better. Yeah, but American ever comes either. Bruce Willis and Kevin Smith hate each other, and I had no idea. With multiple clashes on their 2010 film cop-out, never heard of it, director Kevin Smith described Bruce Willis as unhappy, bitter, and mean.

Willis was disruptive on set telling Smith, I'm Bruce Willis, and I've been doing this for 25 years very successfully. Please don't put your loser stink on me. I already is weird about line memorization and really, like, bad at it, but then also like pissy with people who, like, give him line. I don't know, just, he just seems like a fucking handful for sure, like just a difficult ass action. It's always been that way.

I've never heard one genuinely great thing about Bruce Willis ever. There you go. Well, him and Dakota Fanning should get together. Dakota Johnson. Dakota Johnson, whatever. Yeah, how dare you hold it. I only corrected you because I've been sitting here for the last 10 minutes thinking about how upset I am that I find Dakota Johnson to be so hot. Like, so, so hot.

So basic, but hot. Don Johnson. And Melanie Griffith as your parents? Like, I mean, you know, you got a show de vivre. Now, I had heard this, but I wasn't aware of the fact that it all stemmed down to Groundhogs Day. Bill Murray and Harold Ramos, which I think that if you are of big fans, you know that they have clashed. But director Harold Ramos and Bill Murray's friendship collapsed on 1993's Groundhog Day. When Ramos grabbed Murray by the shirt collar and threw him against a wall during a

a heated creative dispute. They didn't speak for two decades. But when Ramos was ill in 2010, they reconciled and became friends again for the final four years of Ramos' life. It's funny because it's totally understandable and that totally happens with creative collaborations. But how funny to be like,

I haven't spoken to him for two decades because of Groundhog Day. You know, it's just like such a stupid movie to have your friendship ruin. I love it. Yeah, yeah. But to have a friendship ruin for, life over that movie, you know?

Yeah, or at least decades. And then, you know, there's movies like National Lampoons, Christmas Vacation, big movie in a lot of our lives, but Chevy Chase and Chris Columbus hate each other. Well, Chevy Chase and insert anybody ever. Anybody. Everybody who's ever worked with him. Everyone ever. I had no idea, though, that how Chevy Chase reacted or how he acted on set made director Chris Columbus quit and he was replaced with Jeremiah,

chick. So, and Christopher Columbus said, Christopher Columbus, different person. To be completely, I guess not a different person, to be completely honest, Chevy treated me like dirt. I called John Hughes and said, there's no way I can do this movie. I know I need to work, but I can't do it with this guy. Wow. And so many people saw him as a, you know, as a father figure of just, you know, especially with movies like that of the National Amploon movies. And, but anyone that knows anything about Chevy Chase knows that he is a monster. It's like a crazy monster, but just an animal. It's a testament to all the other actors who ever have done anything with him that like these

movies are as good as they are and as well performed as they are knowing now like how awful he was to work with. For real. Yeah. Believe it. His co-stars too, yeah, to be like they must have had to deal with him too. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

I mean like anytime I think about the show community, which I did find much later than everybody else found. And then I started reading more about how Chevy Chase's. acted on set and I know like all it was just like it was a nightmare it takes all the fun out of the fun of being an actor you know right and then there's people like jean hackman and west Anderson which i did not know this oh wow that hackman made his lack of interest known on the royal tenon bombs he repeatedly insulted director west Anderson with multiple reports that claimed he called him a cunt on set bill murray came in on his days off to help shield him Anderson from Hackman. It's like his character in the movie. Very much so. And I guess, you know, if you're really living that life.

And we're going to do last but not least, Marlon Brando and Frank Oz, Frank Oz, we all know from Muppets. Having De Niro and Marlon Brando together on the score should have been a dream. But the shoot mostly became a fight between Brando and director Frank Oz. Brando hated being directed by a Muppeteer, mockingly calling Oz Miss Piggy. the character that he voiced, one of the many characters he voiced. Oh, dude, you are. I was confrontational, too, acknowledging it was partly his fault.

And I appreciate that. But at the same time, everybody knows, like, that makes me love for Angassi even more than I already do. Yeah, how dare you? Marlon Brano is also notoriously a nightmare, especially in, like, that era of Marlon Brando, where he did not even have to, for a second, pretend that he wasn't anymore. So you know what? I'm siding with Frank Oz on this one. It feels like very much like the like, you know, the Tobias Fulke like, oh, are you the big marriage expert?

Oh, I'm sorry. Your wife is dead kind of thing to be like, oh, what do I want to listen to you? Frank Oz, Miss Piggy. Whoa, whoa, whoa. And it's like, oh yeah, the most like beloved character, the most beloved genius fucking voice actor. And also director who went on to make some of the most quintessential movies that we all. no and a lot of movies and shows that made who we are. If you want some more madness when it comes to Brando,

definitely enjoy the documentary Lost Soul, the doomed journey of Richard Sandley's Island of Dr. Moreau. With a part where, what is he on the way to set for the first time, Brando, doesn't he, like, in the car ride, tell the director he wants to do a whole plot change where he turns into a dolphin or something like that, or he wants to, like, talking dolphins?

If you like weird docs or if you like docs about things that you're like, I had no idea that this was a huge thing, please watch this documentary. It will blow your mind. What's it called again? Lost Soul is the name, the doom journey of the island of Dr. Lerow.

Yeah, so good. Almost as good as my eyesight used to be. But things change. He's going on. and stuff is different. Maybe, wow, I don't know, Jackie, spoiler alert. We don't. Yeah, I think I'm going.

What? I don't. Here we go. Well, I guess we already did the moonfall one, but I had a backup one, and it's a positive one, which I'll close out with. Just to end this on a more positive.

Okay. But before we get that, to that, let's get to another sad, mad one. And I hope it's not true, this blind item. That hit show, based on books that suddenly lost its lead between season one and two, had a lot of infighted. and the new season is going to be a huge disappointment to a lot of fans.

And you'll think about someone, you'll think about... It's not... It's not Jay Ney, is it? Jay Ney, no. I'll think about... Oh, yes, Bridgeton, which I will say, I read this article a couple days ago that was like, the main focus of season two is that how many centuries,

how many decades have we dealt with the male gays when it comes to watching sex on screen, and it's time for the female gaze to take control. That is what they said. That's the lead up to season two. Curious about that. I mean, I loved the first season of Bridgeton, so I hope this is not true.

But an announcement was made via the Bridgeton Twitter account in the form of a letter from Lady Whistledown to confirm it reads, Dearest Readers, while all eyes turn to Lord Anthony Bridgeton's quest to find his viscountess. We bid it you to Regé Jean-Page, who has so triumphantly played the Duke of Hastings.

We'll miss Simon's presence on screen, but he will always be a part of the Bridgeton family. So therefore, confirming, because I think so many people were like, he might. Is he going to cameo? Is he going to be in an episode? I think them knowing he's definitely not,

they don't want to, like, they want to just get ahead of it and be like, he's definitely not going to be at the Duke is a rake. Oh my God, such a rake. But I do also, like, There are many, there are multiple books of Bridgeton, and it's not following his story anymore. So the fact that, like, if he already,

if they're having disputes, if it's not working out, he's so beloved, but like, I mean, the story ain't about him as much anymore. So I feel like my, my brain, or I haven't read the book, so I don't know the second, but I know that it follows Anthony's storyline or like the brother. The Viscount who loved me is what season two is based on. And it centers around, yes, Anthony Bridgeton.

and his romance with Kate Sheffield. I will definitely watch it, and I hope this blind is not true, but it was a Bridgerton blind, and so I had to, especially after reading that Lady Whistledown. Fun, that's fun, I guess. MJ, did you watch the first season?

Did we force you to watch it at any point? I watched the first episode of the first season, and I was like, sexy, and you guys were like, it only gets sexier, and then I didn't keep up because he was like, I'm not going to watch that. Oh, you weren't feeling your sexiest during the pandemic? I don't, I don't.

MJ, get back into it. I know. After we started gossip girl, I was like, I know this format. This is Bridgerton. So I do want to watch it. I appreciate the idea. She gets railed, bro. Like, it is ridiculous.

Yeah, I didn't get to any of the good set. That female woman is going to explode like a pigeon after a fucking rice throwing during a wedding. No, don't. I mean, it was. There's not going to be any, I'm not throwing any rice at my wedding. It was rice penis. No pigeons are exploding on my watch. It was Rice Weiner, left and right for that woman.

It was unbelievable. Wow. Man, now I'm a horny. Now I can't wait for a season. I know. I thought of it. God. And then the railing of a lifetime.

All right, here we go. This next one. No railing in this one. So whatever. It's not as fun. Well, I'll check out thing. So this was a part of a segment in the blinds called souvenir collecting.

All blinds about lovers taking keepsake. fraud after sensual rendezvous. Actually, it is sexual, never mind. This is fun. There's dirty, you know. This is fun in a sensual way. This former A-list mostly movie actress who doesn't really act any longer

wouldn't actually take anything, but would always paint one toenail of the guy she slept with while he was sleeping during the night. Wow. There's something about her. There's something about her. Is it Cameron Diaz?

Diaz? Yeah, what? Weird blind. Who would do that? You guys are like, cool. I'm like, that is the dumbest fucking thing. Oh, no, I wasn't cool. I was more of just like, it's, it is such a choice to do it that, like, I can only imagine,

especially with someone that you're not familiar with. Maybe that's just me as a person that, like, I have been with my partner for about four years, and I can't imagine, like, pulling back the covers and being like, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then painting one of his toenails. A tee. I would feel like very, like, I mean, I don't have his consent. I feel very weird about it. I feel like it would be something the kind of thing if it was just like,

no, that would just leave a weird taste in my mouth as well as his. Or I guess not, I'm not putting in his mouth. But I don't know if I like this. Uh-huh. I don't like it at all. MJ, your thoughts? I don't like it. How could I like it?

I think I don't like it. that is just one. It kind of makes me more upset. Well, she is married to Benji Madden, though. So maybe now. Yep, the dog. Yep. The dog.

Benji Holden. Which by the way, who the fuck gets that reference. I get it. He's like the lead singer of good Charlotte. Oh, more like bad Durham. Good one. Wow. Is that a North Carolina joke?

Yeah, Charlotte's a scene of Gellon. And then Durham, Raleigh, Durham is a day. Oh, hi. I'm asleep right now. Very weird. Very, very weird. That's not even like a taking a totem. That is, or toke it, totem?

Yeah, it is like taking a totem. Oh, don't you dare. We're like bad. Ashville. We're like shitty Asheville. All right, I love Asheville. I'm kidding about that. All right, here's the last blind.

It's a positive one. I've said this person's name at one point during the recording of today's episode. I thought about you. But I'm not sure that. I thought about you, but I'm not sure that you'll necessarily get it off of that. This A-List, al-A-Literate actress, who seems to get naked quite often for the camera, bought 10K worth of books for a group of students who all do remote learning together

and didn't have a library or, in many cases, enough textbooks for everyone. That's nice. She's on a very popular show right now. We love it. I love it. You love it. You said alliterative? Yeah, it literally means their first name or the last name starts.

with the same letter or whatever. I love it. Is it 90-day fiancé? No, that was a naked gun reference. Oh, okay, gotcha. Well, that's not, is that helping? Does that give us a clue into whom it could be? Someone that bears all, all.

So someone bears all. So I need another hint. We currently love. What'd you ask MJ? I ask for another hint. Need more. She is naked on it. show we love.

Just go up with it. Her last name is partially the name of an annoying literary magazine that people used to like several years ago by the... Jezebel. Petra Playboy. No. Okay. Is she naked

on the show that we like? Euphoria. Yes. Zendaya's not naked on the show. No. She's also not a lover of a show. You watch the show every all the time. Siddy. Siddy, Siddy, sweetie. Sidde sweetie. Yeah. Siddy Sweeney. McSweeney's is literally

I didn't know I couldn't exactly remember Lesserie. She's very talented. Wait, so say it again. I was looking at you for the McSweeney's reference. Well, I would have gotten it. If I, A, I haven't watched you for you. And B, that was an extremely roundabout way to.

Part of the word is a literal excuse me. I'm now going to ask you as the first of ever done this. What clue should I have given on that? Okay, so wait, what is she doing? So Sidney's sweet. I was going to maybe make like a Sid and Nancy reference for the first name. The fact that I only know what her name is,

because I read, you know, I read these things all day. I want, I want you at home. If you listen to Holden's clues, give us a clue. Did you know what he was talking about? There's something about her. I love it. See, that was great. Garibadea, we immediately got Gerard Diaz. Well, you know, I don't think it was a good clue because you immediately got it. I feel like that's not a great clue. Oh, you think it's bad clue. No, but, I think it's like right when you say it. I guess you could have gone down like a white lotus route. I haven't seen the boys yet. I said her name earlier, which I definitely did.

I said her name at one point. Did you? Zendaya. But I did kind of, I mean, honestly, technically, I did a great job. So thank you. And everyone, you're welcome. There you go. What is she doing, though, Holden?

I keep not listening. She bought, she gave. Yeah, I absolutely stop listening. Great. Great. Definitely not the fundamental thing that he's having a podcast. She bought $10,000 worth of books for a group of students. were dying. I think I love her.

And everything that she, like, the oldest of stuff that's come out of you, a Euphoria fan, like, she's very big into the fact that, like, MJ, I know you don't watch it, but there's a lot, like, she has specifically a lot of nudity. And there are times that she fights against the directors and the writers of just, like, why does she need to be nude in this scene? Like, what does it? Like, she now is challenged, like, in this second season, she's very young, but she's challenging why. And if it makes sense for her character.

and I'm, I feel weird to say like, I'm proud of her for doing that, but I'm proud of her for doing that. Yeah, that's cool. Because there is a time and a place when, I mean, euphoria is graphic. Euphoria is upsetting and it is triggering. But there are times when you're like,

I completely agree with her of like, does this need to be happening right now? Uh-huh. So I'm proud. And then that's so fucking cool. And she also has recently said that she will never date anyone in the spotlight. She's like, I like, I'm trying to, I'd like to have a full life. Everyone knows every inch of my body now.

So I'd like to keep the rest of my life as for me as I can. And she's 24 years old. Good for her. She's learning a lot fucking earlier than a lot of other people do. Good for her. All right. Thank you for joining me. I can see again.

I know. I don't know why I'm not watching it. I love this shit. It just hasn't happened for me. I'm loving this fucking show so much. It's like incredible. All right, I can see. And the show's almost over.

Welcome back, Golden's eyesight. Well, all right. All right, all right, all right. Man, are you talking about the old broads then? It's like I keep getting, like I keep getting older, but they keep staying the same age. Yeah, I keep staying young and they keep getting older. They're all in their 80s.

I think that's great for us. I'm a vampire. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Don't, Edward. I keep saying the same age, they get older. Ugh, that's sexy. My name is Jackie Zabrowski, though. And thank you guys so much for joining us.

We will be back next week. My name is Jackie Zabroski. And we're switching it up a little bit. You can follow me on Instagram and Jack That Worm and come hang out on Tuesdays and Thursdays over on Twitch.tv. Oh, no, it's Shacky. And Sundays now.

But more importantly, you should. Moseawn over to the Patreon page, page 7 Patreon. It is patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast because Thursdays, we're watching Gossip Girl. And we figured out our bugs and we squeezed all the bugs out of it last week. And I posted up the recording of the episode that we watched if you weren't able to watch it and they will be available for you afterwards now that we know how to record them. So every Thursday over on our page 7 Discord, come find us through.

the Patreon. Yeah, it's really awesome. I'm in the Rupal's Drag Race Text channel. At the $5 layer, you can still get involved in the text channels and stuff, which is where a lot of the actions happening throughout the week. And then at that $10 layer, join us in that voice chat.

What a fun time it was on last Thursday. I'm, like, so psyched for this Gossip Girl watchthrough because it's so dated and it's so immediately problematic. So many scarves. It's a yikes. So many scarves. So many neckerchiefs. It's a no for me in a way, but it's a yes for me in other ways. It's a yes for just screaming about it with a bunch of strangers.

Come join us. But also we can actually, like I know that a lot of people don't quite understand Discord. I'm learning it myself. We can literally talk to each other. Yeah, it's like hanging out. So please come join. Yeah, it's actual hanging out. It's so fun.

There's no video on so you don't got to get gussied up. Come join us. Sign up for the $10 layer on our Patreon. And we get to all talk and watch the show together. So fun. Also, got to pump that email, page 7, podcast at gmail.com. Love those conspiracy theories,

give them comment. If you already sent one in, I still may get to it, by the way. You know, I can only pick one a week. Page the number seven, podcast at gmail.com. Check me out on Twitch. Twitch.tv.

forward slash holdenators ho. I am streaming Monday, Tuesday, Friday. I'm taking a little, like one week off because my parents are in town, but usually Monday, Tuesday, Friday. Friday's with Jackie for Jackson and the Holdies. 6 p.m. E.T. Do not miss it. M.J. Hey!

Hey! My name's MJ and I'm MJ K. L. Kat on Instagram. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode. And now we're going to start doing our little buttons on the end. Ooh, it's just like an o'u, an Amish typey. We got our buttons to button up, and it is the shoutouts. Shout Shout

Let it all out These are the emails that we wrote it about We'll read the radio to you Come on Ooh shout out Confessions Up top of this Before I record them every time

I'm just so tempted to sing The Riverdale Roundup theme song Jesse I'm looking at you Because I know that this isn't a roundup of any sorts, but as I read the emails, I sing, it's time for the email roundup. I'm going to kiss them all. And it's just because it's in my head all the time. This isn't a part of the shoutouts, but I guess it is.

Shoutout Confessions. And now it's time for the regular shoutouts. And again, thank you guys so much for sending in such amazing, wonderful emails into the page 7 podcast.g.g.m.com email address. And just for sending the love and sending thank yous and just overall, I just want to say, I really appreciate you guys, and I always appreciate you taking the time to just, to just hit us up. And I love you.

But now it's time for the shoutouts in Jasper. I'm reading your birthday shout out. And it's not just because you have a very sexy twilight-esque name. Not that I'm saying you're a vampire who was also a Confederate soldier. But Jasper, happy birthday! Jasper says I'm writing in as a still 20-something-year-old as my 30th birthday is on February 10th. As a now ancient lover of all things, LPN. I'd like to give a huge shout out to my beautifully amazing girlfriend, Risa,

who puts up with my eight-hour roundtable of gentlemen marathons on our drives from Portland, Oregon, to the Bay Area. We met each other right as quarantine began in 2020, and I look forward to to our future in the outside world. I love you, Jasper. I'm sorry I wasn't hitting on him, Rees, I promise. But also, the fact that you stick around while listening to all that roundtable of gentlemen, you are a keeper. And Jasper, I had no idea it was you that made the page seven cassette tape unreal and I can't remember if he got me to sign in but now I'm mad if he didn't because Jasper says another shout out to Holden

for sending me an autographed copy of the page 7 cassette tape I designed it is one of my prize possessions you can find my other designs you have to check out Jasper's work because it was so fucking cool mostly hand cut collage work at tape sim on Instagram

that is T-A-P-E-S-I-M tape sim please check it out and thank you so much Jasper. Happy almost birthday. It only gets better. I know that everyone in their 30 says that, but I swear to God, I can't believe where I was when I was 30 and where I am now.

Happy birthday, baby, and congrats on the love. And whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, James. James, thank you so much for writing in about your fiancé, Shannon. Shannon loves you guys. This is what James says, and tells me she feels you all would be best friends if you actually knew each other.

She just passed the bar in July and is about to turn 30 on February 8th. Sorry, I'm really late. You know what, James? You're not even that late. You got it right in there. Shannon, I hope you had an amazing birthday. Congrats. You passed, not only did you pass the bar in July, but you passed the bar during a traumatic life experience of a pandemic.

Congratulations. Happiest of birthday. to you. Man, this is the dodding of the age of Aquarius, the age of Aquarius. Look at our Aquarii babes. I love you guys. Happy birthdays. And maybe it's just because of MJ, but every time I know anyone that has a birthday in February, I feel it is almost as crotchety as those of January and December holiday babies. So I see you and I love you. And happiest of birthday. to all of my Aquarians. Aquarians? Aquarii. Anyway, I'll keep going. This is a different kind of shout out and you know what, Bridget, I'm so happy you wrote in because this is what our community is for.

It is to build each other up no matter what Bridget says, I made the decision last night to permanently close my cookie business. I feel like all small businesses are struggling right now and I'm no exception. There's a lot of factors at play, but I'll be wrapping it up when my kitchen lease is up in July. I'm so sad to see it end, but I'm trying to remind myself that not only have I run a full-on business for the last five years, but I've been able to support my six-year-old kiddo Lucy because of it. I'd also like to shout out my BFF-slash-cousin Abby and my incredibly supportive boyfriend, Justin, for listening to all my business woes and supporting me through this crazy life change. And if anyone wants to check out my cookie work until July, I'm on Instagram at

The Anxious Baker Cookies. Love the name. The Anxious Baker Cookies. And that is Bridget's cookie business. And Bridget says so many thanks to you, MJ Holden and Marcus, for the years of late-night listening as I've worked my ass off making pretty treats. Thank you so much, Bridget. And this is, ugh, it's a new journey for you, baby.

It's not an ending. It's just a different beginning. And I'm very proud of you for making that very difficult decision. And speaking of pride. and I'm not just talking of my lions. This shoutout goes out to our beloved Demon Whiskey Nick from our Twitch community. I love you and I feel like I know you and I'm so proud of you. Demon Whiskey Nick says, I want to give myself a shout out for finishing a fucking book in a year.

I don't hit any sort of stride for 45 pages, but it's done. Rereading now and trying to focus more on life for a week before I start my huge editing journey. You guys, all of you, all of LPN, kept me motivated and looked towards the finish line, especially Wizard and the Bruiser, hearing about all those people that made their imagination a fucking reality keeps me going. I honestly work with tears in my eyes because I can't get over how much you guys inspire me. And the people y'all talk about inspire me. I miss pop history.

It should be a whole podcast, and you should do a deep dive and then invite on your friends and LPNers to be a part of the revelry of that episode. I hope that made sense. It does. I'm drunk and faded at the moment. You all inspire me every day with all that you do endlessly. I don't have the words. I love you so much, demon whiskey, Nick, and congratulations. I can't wait to read the finished product of your book. I feel like we've all been along with you along the way. And thank you for including us in this celebration. And if you have anything to celebrate, or if you've got birthdays coming up, or if you just need, you need a little bit of, positive reinforcement over here on the shoutouts. Hit us up at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. You can hit us up about absolutely anything. If you just see a picture of a hot dog you think I'd like, I will look at it and I will smile.

It makes my fucking day. Thank you guys so much for sending in your shoutouts. Again, that's page 7 podcast at gmail.com for your shoutouts. I love you, cuties. We'll see you next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.