Page 7 - Ep. 437: The Throw Up Edition

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

In this very special and very upsetting Page 7 we're gossin' 'bout Jackie's trip to Florida, Julia Fox not crying since 1997, Kanye's continued spiral and it's supporting cast, Nick Cannon's continued obsession with spawning, the Batman Calzony, the amazing Super Bowl Halftime Show, our favorite Super Bowl commercials, and in celeb conspiracy corner; is Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale based on Quinn Fabray from Glee!? Also The List and SHOUTZ all while Jackie's hangin' with Mr. COVID! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. I'm on your team girl So you're a tough guy Like a really rough guy Just can't get enough guy Just is always puff guy I'm that bad type Make a mama sad type

Make a girlfriend mad tide Might seduce your dad type I'm the bad guy Duh Dely Eilish Kanye West Pete Davidson Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian What a is the drama, the soap opera unfolding in front of our eyes slash mental health breakdown that actually needs to be taken very seriously and not looked at as a game. It is so difficult to do a silly, funny page seven of a podcast on pop culture while also being like, somebody help him. Take his phone. Get him in a place. He should be in a room where they're working with them. day to make sure he doesn't, I don't know, get a bunch of psycho superfans to murder his ex-wife's new boyfriend, maybe, would be a good approach.

Very upsetting. Welcome to page seven. It's a very, welcome to a very special and very upsetting page seven, where we will try to thread the line of being a fun show talking about the only real pop culture story of the week. That's not fun at all. It is, in fact, very, very bad. And someone else is going to have to tow the line between being sick as a dog with COVID

while also having fun on a silly podcast, Jackie. Jackie. The reason I'm starting with the song and kind of leading the show today, Jackie has got that novid, bloved COVID. I went to Evil Florida and I came back set. But at least you went there to coach you. Watching all this Kanye stuff and, you know, I appreciate you, Holden. Thank you for taking the reins.

And thank you for, I'm ready to sit back. I'm not going to try to host it regardless. I'm really good at letting other people take control. Well, at least you were there to, of course, do your annual visit to Disney World and Universal Studios where you rode many roller coasters. Oh, yes, coffin, yeah. That's what I was doing.

I was only having fun in Florida, not taking care of my family. I do want to say, I think one thing that is shocking over this week, and is finding out that Julia Fox might be just as crazy. Julia Fox as Kanye is a psychotic human being, MJ. That's a fun place to start because I do, I feel fairly, fairly briefed. Like, I think I've been briefed on the situation with Kim and Kanye. I think I understand it pretty well. I think I understand where some of the auxiliary players come in.

But I do not know where, I mean, we certainly were on team Julia Fox last week. week, but it seems like we know more this week. So could we start there? Can I just read this real quick? So there was a picture that was posted right after. So they have now broken up. And there was a picture of her quote unquote tearfully at LAX after the Kanye breakup. And she posted, y'all would love if I was so upset. The media would love debate a picture of me as a sad, lonely woman crying on a plane by myself, but it's not true. Why not see me for what I am, which is a number one hustler? I came up, y'all. And not only that, but Kanye and I are on good terms. I have love for him, and I wasn't in love with the man. Jesus Christ, what do you think

I am, 12 years old? And for the record, the only time I cried in 2022 was on February 6th on my dead BFF's birthday. Anyway, if you want to have to buy the book when it comes out. She added daily Mail. Here's a little more fuel for the fire. Added Daily Mail. It said, quote, tearfully, end quote. Laughing face emoji, laughing face emoji, laughing face emoji, at Daily Mail. Y'all are straight trash. I haven't cried since 1997. I especially wouldn't cry over this.

If anything, I've been laughing more than before. And if I look like shit, it's because I got out at Terminal 1 and ran on foot to Terminal 7 because I was fucking late for a play to go to the only men that matter, which is my son and my dad, heart, heart, heart. And this is also after saying that she, only dated Kanye to give all of us beyonds something to talk about. Thank you, Julia.

I really need to. I haven't cried since 1997 is so good. Which, by the way, Julia, that means you have major problems and you need to go to therapy for that. If you are happy that you have not cried since 1997, you need help, my friend. You need to let it out. or you are a sociopath and God love it. Just, you know, the whole thing.

I mean, we all knew, I mean, I guess I had vibes of like Julia Fox being like not on the level, you know what I mean? Like with her whole being like, I love Kim Kardashian. I just want to like be her. Yeah. So our last conversation was how she was trying to wear Kim's skin. And now it turns out she was just trying to wear her own skin. Yeah.

I mean, you know, I remember one time in 2010 there was like a stretch of like six months or something where I didn't cry. Maybe it was not even that long. It was long enough where I was like, this is messed up. I'm gonna, something, something's wrong with me. If I don't cry, I'll do something bad. I don't know what it is, but I just needed, you know, how you're all fucked up in the head if you don't cry. It's intrusive thoughts. They get in there. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I made a gin and tonic and I watched an episode of The Simpsons and I let it all out. You know, you got to, you got to let it all out, Julia. It sounds like you did, it also sounds like you're liar because you just said you cried on February

22. Yeah, yeah. If you were in a court of law right now, I being the lawyer would have definitely been, ah, ha! You said, 99, it was my sister. My mother.

My sister. My mother. My sister had my mother. Whatever, Julia. You're not a fox. You're Julia dog to me. All right? You're a dog woman.

Okay. Take your black swan eye makeup and get it out. okay because I don't want to look at it anymore all saw that movie okay Natalie Portman was fantastic in it but you're not okay close the book on her did we talk about did we talk about the Billy Elish thing last week no talk about that too oh my god it's the supportive cast

is much more fun to talk about than the act than the central player who is just as you mentioned having a very serious problem with abuse and his own mental health I thought that was going to be the only story revolving all this that we were to talk about this week involving these characters, right? Was that he, was the Billy Elish might not have actually even been referencing the tragedy that happened at Travis Scott's concert where many believe he was allegedly responsible for the death of 10 people in a trampling incident because, oh, I don't know, his whole track history.

And how he was encouraging people to storm the stage and he was incurred and didn't stop as people were screaming and, and like, maybe he didn't hear it, but there's certainly a lot of guards around, but... No, no, Jackie, he was saying Storm me, the stage. Oh, stormy the stage. Oh, the kid. Yeah, but the kid.

No, no. Yeah, so then we have... I don't even... I feel like... Well, Billy Elish, there was someone in the audience that couldn't breathe, and she noticed, and so she stopped the show. Yes, maybe.

She saw that they... So I believe that she waited until someone got them an inhaler. Like, she stopped the show, and was like, I'm not. She'd said, like, essentially, I'm not the kind of person that's going to keep going going if someone's hurt and I can see. So that's what Kanye was going after her about.

But she was, I don't even think it was that, I don't even think it was that implicit. It was literally just like, I wait until my, you know, my fan, I know my fans are safe before I keep going. So at the end of the day, because I kept rereading as I was just like, it's one of those things you have to almost reread multiple times before you can be like, no, actually, I don't even know if that she was referencing the Travis Scott thing. And if she was, it was very vague. and I think it was more just trying to reference.

That's what the line was. I wait for people to be okay before I keep going. Yeah, that's rightly fine. And she wasn't like she was like, I don't let people get trampled, you know. What did Kanye say in response? He said, come on, Billy, all caps. We love you.

Please apologize to Trave and to the families of the people who lost their lives. No one intended this to happen. Trave didn't have any idea of what was happening when he was on stage and he was very hurt by what happened. Trav will be with me at Coachella. but now I need Billy to apologize before I perform. He's writing like Cher, by the way, who is almost double his age.

That's the funny thing about this is that I think this is all because he was going to secretly, without letting Coachella know, he was planning on having Travis join him on stage at Coachella, which is so fucked up in its own right. Yes. To try to slip that in and try to like redeem him. You know, like he keeps redeeming all these great people.

who've had amazing... Oh, yeah, like, Marilyn Manson. Yeah, like, stories come out about them recently. He's like, it's so insane. That whole... That part of it is so crazy

that really... All of this is coming from him trying to slip one past the goalie. And I'm not talking about cums past a... What's gonna say how we... What are we talking about? No, we're not on the Nick Cannon's story.

Yeah. I want to throw up. This should be called the throw-up edition of this episode. Every story this week. It is... I just make told them what to throw up. Don't even bring it up.

I was watching righteous gemstones earlier. And the beginning of this episode this week, there's a lot of puking. And in my state, it was just like, I can't even. I gotta like fast forward through all of the peaking right now. Yeah, so that is the other crazy part was I think it's like him like lashing out because of his own weird decision to have Travis join him at a giant festival. Just awful timing for that.

Terrible, terrible way to try to bring him back into everyone's good graces. and I think a lot of people would, I hope, I mean, almost in a way I hope it happens. I do think a lot of people would be very upset. If Kanye even performs at this point, which I don't even know. I mean, what an odd, I know I'm kind of losing the scripture because I don't even know how to talk about it because it's just like, this guy is so unhinged and like, stop booking him and shit, you fuck faces. I get it.

He's a draw, but like, don't you want to have, I don't know, something called integrity at your music festival or like. But I think that Kanye, and I don't know, I can't speak for him. but I would assume that a lot of it is what he thinks is going on in his brain. I'm not going to like podcast psychologist at him right now, but I would assume that maybe he thinks that people are after him. I would assume that maybe that he thinks that people are being wrongly unjust towards the people that he works with. And I do wonder that if it is, like, especially with how he's acting,

I would assume that maybe that there's some delusion issues going on here. Again, I have no idea, but like he seems like he's acting like he's backed into a corner when he's not. In other words, a manic episode, right? Or possibly, I don't even, I mean, I don't want to say anything, but it's like it is reminiscent of like maybe like a schizophrenic episode or maybe, you know, something that's a little bit bigger than just what is happening. And yet, we as a people are just allowing him to like post private text message. between him and his ex-wife. It's like, I know that we couldn't stop him. We can't change anything.

But it is like, this is very scary. It has to be, they're human being. And this is, it's, it's hard to talk about, right, because it's like, you, you have to, we have to talk about it as we talk about it is like that there's two things going on. One is that we know that Kanye has a history of like, you know, struggling with mental health issues. like we we know that we know it from him we know it from kim like we it's like you know and what he's doing to kim is like very clearly abusive um and you know it's it's abuse it's harassment it's manipulation and i feel like it's just i think that most people who who i don't know

at least people listen to the show if not all the people following it can hold both of those things in their head and and it but it's that's why i'm like struggling it's it's hard to figure out how talk about because you want to have empathy for Kanye who's like clearly in crisis but also he's like being like a violent abuser and you will and you have to acknowledge that too and and both of those things are true right because that's yeah so and so let's get into it uh skeet gate the whole rest of it right and i mj so you and i the skeet thing is funny i will hand that to him you and i watch this in real time right kind of go down during the super bowl so by the way I'm watching the Super Bowl with my parents

and we have Winnie and Lexi as well, obviously. And mostly I'm watching with my dad. We'll get to the halftime show later, but my favorite part was my dad trying to talk to me about this documentary about Joni Mitchell and the Beach Boys while I'm desperately just trying to enjoy the halftime show. You're just the opposite of that.

Yeah, exactly, to the point where I had to turn to him and be like, Dad, I am desperately, this is the only part of the whole thing I wanted to see. And you're trying to talk to me about a fucking documentary about songwriters in the valley of Los Angeles. I bet it's a great talk. I have seen the, and I even, after I, my flip out, I was like.

Dad, I know. I know, that was the thing. And I was like, after my flip out, I was like, and I've seen that documentary, and it's very good. And then the show ended. And then I turned back and it literally ended. And I was like, I do want,

this is reminding me of why I moved. out of state as soon as... I've also seen Echo in the Canyon. Yes, Echo in the Canyon. It's a very good fucking documentary. I just did not need to hear about it while Kendrick Lamar was fucking throwing it down on the...

The HF stuff show was absolutely... I cannot wait to talk about it. I absolutely nailed it. But before we get there, of course, you saw, right, and I don't know about you, Jackie. I don't know if you were like, you were just like... You don't know anything about me. Rubbing your mother's thighs with oil or something.

Yeah, yeah, you got a louber. up or I'll tell I'm going to slip her in to her pants, please. All right, please, everybody. You could not have a dirty thought about Jackie and her mother for two seconds, audience. But we saw this go down in real time is the weirdest part of it all. Like I'm watching, I'm just keeping up Instagram thinking it's over and just another post.

My favorite one probably being him posting a picture that we covered on the show of Machine Gun Kelly and Pete Davidson doing that underwear social media. ad campaign was very funny. How do you feel about then him calling out Michael Chey? I could not believe it. First of all, this is how I feel about it. I think Kanye forgets, or maybe he didn't rewatch the tape,

but Che was one of the few people in the background when he went in on Trump during his weird post-show speech to the audience at SNL. He was one of the few people who noped out of there, who literally did a slow back away and got the fuck. out so as to not support anything he was saying. So I'm like, why do you think this guy thinks you're like an ally or whatever in all of this? You know what I mean? Like I just don't, I don't understand. So Che's response, if you haven't looked it up, and then to see his response

and there were a kind of loose reverence to Kevin Barnett in there with his record label or his musical group, the slap butts. It was just weird. It was just so surreal to see this personal connection to this whole situation. If you don't know, he asked, he told Chey, he'd double his salary. Not work with Pete Davidson ever again. Not work with Pete Davidson, which is so insane. But again, it's like how, it's like that almost,

I feel like you're racist at this point. Like, why do you think that this guy, just because he's a black cast member of S&L, like you can get him on your, that's what it seems like. And I don't think Chey does really back, a lot of your shit. You know what I mean?

And again, I go back to that post-show speech where he got the fuck out when you started talking all this crazy shit about Trump. He literally ran off of the stage as if he was on fire because of the shit you were saying to the audience of S&L.

So why do you think he is just automatically gonna just like back you up with this completely insane diatribe? Anyways, I don't know. That was so funny, though. If you haven't seen Chey's response, definitely look at up. Chase's response was very funny.

And yeah, I feel like Jay as a member of S&L is somebody who like, he doesn't necessarily court controversy, but he's like a, you know, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a lot. He's, he's, he's a lot. And, uh, and, uh, and so yeah, he's a, he dealt with it, pretty diplomatically. Which is to be like, I would never betray my friends unless you tripled my salary. Like a good, how else can you deal with? like a comic. He did a perfect comic way. What are you supposed to do? You know, Holden and I were talking about this before we started recording. Like, imagine you are Pete Davidson or Pete Davidson's friend, Michael Shea or any other SNL cast member or whatever. And you're just like, man, how did we get here? Like Pete Davidson is so young.

He like catapulted to fame so quickly. He just dated every fucking beautiful woman on Earth so fast. And now he has Kanye like sending threats after him. He must be so disoriented. I cannot imagine how can you imagine. You're just like, I'm just a comic. What? Like Kanye West wants to kill me?

Like, what? I truly, it must be, and for Shane, like I said, whoever else, it must just be like, wow, this escalated quickly. Like, how do we deal with this? It's the same responsibility Ilish is having of like, why am I dragged into this? Yeah. Just immediately like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I have nothing to do with any of it. these things. And it is just him

reaching out and just trying to drag in as many people as he can. Well, and that it brings me to that crazy Civil War meme that he posted, the Marvel Civil War meme he posted, where he has two sides, they use the poster from Civil War where the different characters are pitted against each other,

but the faces are photoshopped on top of it. And on one side, you have him, Drake, Julia Fox, so I believe would not be a part of that team anymore. Travis Scott and the rapper future versus Pete Davidson, Kim Kardashian, Kid Cuddy, who we didn't mention yet, who kind of this whole thing started in a lot of ways with him denouncing Kid Cuddy because of his

friendship with Pete Davidson saying he wouldn't be on the new album. Billy Eilish. And at the very back there, I couldn't believe it. Lo and behold, Taylor Swift, who has not mentioned him in over five years, who has been so not a part of any of it. like, what in the fuck? Also, one thing, you know, people couldn't help but bring up, which I also noted was like, what is it with you, bro? And going after these, like, young women in music. And, like, what is that?

Like, because I think T. Swift was in her 20s at that point. Billy Eilish is what? How will, she's like 22? If that, I think you're a 44-year-old man, bro. Yeah. What the fuck? And it's like, I was thinking this, too. It's not like, I mean,

Taylor Swift at the time. She's 20, by the way. 20. And Billy Elish, it's like, they both have a lot of status. Like, in terms of like, you know, pop culture status. Yeah, I don't want to make it like they're weak or something because they're women. They're just 20. No, exactly.

No, exactly. Like, it's, it's, you know, I feel like it's this thing where it's like, yeah, on the one hand, Billy Eilish is like, you know, right now to your average, probably 14-year-old, as big a name or bigger than Kanye West, right? But obviously he has more power and status than that. Even if they're, it's not like he's choosing like a random 20 year old girl to go after, a 20 year old woman to go after on the one hand. But on the other hand, I completely agree with you, Holden, that it's like,

who are you choosing to target? Honestly, even Pete Davidson. He's a guy and he's, but he's young, you know. Oh, yeah. None of these people have the same, you know, status Kanye West doesn't exactly have institutional status in the sense that he's not like

you know he's not like the president or he's not like But he's been at our zeitgeist for such a long time and he is such an inspiration to so many people or at least was that I think that he is a household name easily. I mean my parents know who Kanye West is you know it's like that says something. Right like to harness that

against Billy Elish. I totally agree. It's like I'm Or a lot of his fans are psycho. A lot of his fans are diehards, at least. I won't say psychics. Right. They're diehards. And they don't care what he does.

You know, it doesn't matter what he does. They love his music so much that if he were to say, ask them all to beat the shit out of somebody, they would probably be into that. And obviously what he did to Taylor Swift followed her for, I mean, it's still a huge part of. She made a whole album about it. Yeah. Yeah. It had a huge impact on her career, you know. So, like, on the one hand, I'm like, okay.

Billy Eilish is like. for years. Billy Ilish is a very, you know, powerful person in her own right. And, and I think she'll be fine. But yeah, I totally agree. There's just like this, this is, it's like this, it's like this bully. It's like this high status bullying, you know, and it's totally going to impact her life, just like it impacted Taylor Swift's. And I don't want to sit here and say I'm a perfect person. In fact, one of the first things that hit me was, this seems like something I probably would have done if I felt wronged by a girlfriend back when I was in high school. And she started, to dating some guy I hated, and I had social media.

I was going to say, imagine if you had social media when you were in high school. Yeah. But again, it really... And the reach that he has. Right. Yeah. And, you know, I was petty about an ex in my 20s. I never did anything on this level, but there were some small similarities.

And again, I hate the person I was. And a lot has changed now that I am almost 40. Kanye, you're 44 years old. This is so pathetically sad. to go off on, you know, these people so publicly on Instagram, knowing how much responsibility you have, knowing how much sway you have over tons of people who blindly follow you because they love your music.

It is so deeply irresponsible. And at least there are some people out there saying that, including his own ex, whose texts, we know this because he posted the texts from her, which is another, again, another massive betrayal of privacy. it's just so fucked up. By the way, shout-out-out-us to Kid Cuddy. So this all started with Kanye posting a notepad

with the words written. Just so everyone knows, Cody will not be on Donda because he's friends with, that's the Donda 2 is the new album, because he's friends with, you know who we all speak in Billy language now, which is all saying that Billy, which is all, again, saying that Billy's just this passive-aggressive asshole

that's just trying, and helping her fan, she's trying to throw shade in Travis. Yeah, I'm sure that's what happened. a whole narrative in his head that she really truly believes. And it's scary. And it's, and I just like,

in my brain, I'm like, our celebrity is so infallible, quote unquote, that there's no one that can stop him from doing this. So insane. Right.

Well, I mean, you guys would like, come into my house and be like, nope, we're taking, let me take the phone away for a bit.

Let's go get you some help. Let's have some, like, and it's also sad, it's like, there's no one in his life that's like, hey man, maybe you shouldn't do these things.

Right. So I think the PR people came in. I'll get to that post in a second, but shout-out to Cuddy, what I was getting to is his comment in response to that was, too bad, I don't want to be on your album, you fucking dinosaur. Ha, ha, ha, ha, laughing emoji. Everyone knows I've been the best thing about your album since I met you. I'm a pray for you, brother.

Peace sign, which is like, holy, kind of shout out. That was a little too hard. But actually, at the end of the day, everyone's so way over the top. freaked, afraid of being too mean to him, that I almost appreciate the brutal honesty, because I feel like people are way too soft towards him, and he's allowed to just drag everyone through the mud all he wants, you know, and then people, I think, are, because he's this golden god that no one can touch, and it's over. It's like the cracks are in the facade, man. I don't, I don't buy it anymore. And I like my beautiful dark twist and fantasy. I think it's fantastic

I was going to say, like, I definitely am on the show years ago. Like, there was a, a period of time, I feel like before it was, like, really clear that Kanye was, like, having, like, a really acute, like, mental health crisis on, ongoing. But where he still got a ton of shit. There's no question that Kanye has always gotten a lot of unfair shit that has been informed by all sorts of things. And I think that he has persecuted. complex is like rooted in reality, right?

Like where he's always felt like no one takes him seriously, where he's a genius and where he'll say something that makes sense and people will be like, that doesn't make any sense. And people are condescending to him and people are dismissive to him and people, you know, so I feel like, and I, and that's always been to me like an important point to make about him that he was obviously in the wrong about the Taylor stuff at that time. But I also think you could make arguments that he was at the time trying to make points about like what was seen as serious. What was recognized in the music industry and what wasn't, you know, like he was, there was a lot of what he did.

And I think, you know, pre-2016, 2015, like, however you want to draw the line, and I'm sure it could be probably pretty clearly drawn, whereas like, okay, you're like really weird, you're really intense. You're like really an asshole. but also like there's these things that are obviously really important to you. And that those are, and there's like you deserve to be like listened to and taken seriously. And these are all the ways in which you are like institutionally mistreated by media coverage of him or whatever. I think that that's totally fair, the way he talks about how the fashion industry treated him or whatever. Like putting all that aside, you know, what you have since then is this like a, a, escalating mental health crisis and again the the abuse you know it's like and it was obviously

I think what he did to Taylor back then was abusive and up and what he's doing to Kim now is just so it's like I don't know what accountability looks like right now when you have to be like you need help and also you need to be held accountable for what you're doing but like like like you know and you have been treated poorly and you have a right to feel like people don't called you an idiot for decades. It doesn't mean that this is allowed behavior. This is not acceptable behavior. Right.

And it is, you know, he needs to be, you're, you're completely right. I completely agree with you. But what do you do? You know, and honestly, not to even shift into, it's like similar with Nick Cannon. The Nick Cannon thing is, is. I can't. I'm so glad what choice is this. Yeah.

This is just, you know, before, I was about to say how, like, at the same time, I feel bad, like going on Connie even that hard because I do think that this is a mental health issue. He needs help. We need to show empathy in these times and this, that, and the other. But what I can actually... It's also a mental health issue of what he's doing to these people because these celebrities are still human beings. Yes. Right, right.

No, totally. He's harassing and threatening and abusing people. There's just no question about it, right? No, he needs... Something needs to happen. But don't worry, Nick Cannon is all... He's 100% supports him. It came out today.

He supports Kanye West Ever... to win over his estranged wife. You're kidding. Nick Cannon really said that? Yes, he's, quote is he's just trying to get his woman back. Oh my. Oh, fucking is what he said. I was about to say, too, it's like a little more gray. At least I can tell Nick Cannon to just straight up go fuck himself because he is actually

a completely easy stuff. But this is on top of the fact of what the story that we were here to talk about, which is that Nick Cannon put out a song that dropped yesterday called Alone, which is straight up. a song that he samples Mariah Carey's 1990 single Love Take Time. Just in case you were confused, M.J. about who it was about, you know,

Oh, do you want some of the lyrics? As much as I want you back, it's probably better where you at, because I'm still running the streets, I'm still all in the sheets, having babies, models and singers and actresses saying they're pregnant by me. These are lines wrong. You just impregnated

another woman. You also just lost a child two months ago. And what? I say I'm cool when I know I miss it. I'd trade it all for the case. If I could have you back, if I could go back to where we started at. Yesterday he released the song.

Yesterday. It just makes so much sense that he defended God. Wasn't it three women he impregnated last year alone? Wasn't that the story? And we were like pathologizing him. We were podcast. psychologizing him last week? Like, is this some sort of thing he has to do?

Like, does he get off on impregnating people? And now I'm like, is he just trying to show Mariah Carey that he can, like, is this, are all these babies that he's had since her just to be like, well, I can do it with somebody else, you know? Like, is this all some sort of grand gesture to her? Zero of my dick and do. Can we just talk about stuff crust pizza crocs or something? Is there something in the story this week?

I definitely almost in my COVID brain wanted to order. What is it called? A bat zone? What do they have at the pizza? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I saw Mike Lawrence posted. A batzoni. That's what it is.

The batzoni. What's the Batman theme? It's a Batman theme pizza calzone, I believe. In the shape of a bat, the Batman logo that the bat sign. Yeah, it's called, it's a Batman calzoni. And it's supposed to look like that. Oh, you want to talk about Galzone? said, yeah, real quick, we're going to describe it for us, Jackie.

It is. Then we'll go back to Nick Cannon. It is, so it's the shape of a full pizza. It's like the circle. What do I even call out? Batzone? Yeah, you put it Batman Calzoni. Okay.

It's not a Calzone because we all know what a Calzone. This is an open face pizza. And they take two of the flaps and they flap it over to try and make a, it makes me think of it in Peacemaker when he tries to draw the piece stuff. And he's like, every time I draw it, just looks like, a ghost. This doesn't look like Batman. It looks like a ghost. I don't know what this is supposed to be.

Batman Calzoni. It is. That's Jackie's COVID corner. It is really what do I want to talk about? Batman Calzoni. It is definitely called a Calzoni, which is funny because I think the Pizza Hut trademark is

Pazone, but the little Caesar's trademark appears to be Calzoni, which I've got to say, I vote for Calzoni. I'm sorry. That's a much I think I don't, I don't know if I like Little Caesars, but we don't need to talk about this right now, I guess. Three women in one year. It's just, I actually think it's three kids in one year. One of them were twins.

Please hold in. Sorry about that. He impregnated only two different women in one year. Could you fathom that? I couldn't even. No. I guess just having a kid recently just makes me so blown away by that. but I guess it's all fine and good until you're trying to get the first one back that you're

pregnant with two children. You're in Mariah Carey's position. How do you feel that not only... So I am just so, what, we're talking about four Xanax and two glasses of wine. Let's say seven. All right, let's say seven glasses of wine, two Zanis and I don't know, 17 cigarettes and it's 8 a. All right? And what do you,

what do you feel when you hear alone? All right? Your music. Oh, fucking. You're making your children practice singing along to your words

for the Christmas size. It's February, but they're singing Christmas signs. I mean, yeah. I will actually tell you exactly how she responded.

In an Instagram post, I laugh so hard. It's her and her new man, this dancer she's been with. Brian to knock up. Valentine's Marathon continues, hour 23.

heart, which means the perfect response. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm literally having a marathon Valentine's Day with the guy I'm currently fucking. I'm just up this hot that I'm fucking, that actually is not doing

this kind, because again, this is just obviously, I'm gonna, I, you know what, I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna hope it's a mental illness thing of what they can't. Yeah, I hope he's mentally ill. I honestly, I hope it's back. When we were talking about this last week,

I was like, there's got to be something. If it's not mental illness, it's got to just be some extremely specific fetish for, isn't this, isn't that, like, I'm going to look it up. There's got to be a thing where you're like, I mean, it could be into pregnant women, he could be into just the idea of like how capable

he is of spreading his seed. Like, it just bends. I mean, that I will say he's very good at that. He's really good at it. That is unreal how good he is. I actually don't think I could do what he did. I don't think I'm capable of it. I really don't.

I would love to watch you try, not literally. To impregnate how many five women? How many is it? Yeah. Okay. I could end in the core. It's different. So there is an article called Why Some Men Are Obsessed with Inseminating as many women as possible.

It's, I think it's a little. Why do we have to use that word? Ciminating is such a gross. I'm sorry, juicing them up. It's a subtle distinction between being attracted to pregnant women, I think, is, is, is different. Get the baster. That's what I always say.

Oh, you want the baster? You got to keep juicy. Got to make that gravy. Let's talk. Let's get more positive here. That halftime show was fantastic. Commercials. Everybody loves them.

Can he also just say, not fair. And everyone's calling Fittie sent too Fiddy now because then he is gained weight. I think he looks great. They're all calling him too Fiddy. Yeah. And I don't think that's a fair. To me, it wasn't that he gained weight. It's just that he looks older.

Everybody looks older. Of course they do. We're a lot older than we were then. Him too. What's the meme saying? Roll up in the club, bottleful of thumbs. And it was a special. Yeah, they're all the old guy at the club now.

But you know what? They did a great job. They did great. It was perfect. Fantastic celebration of L.A., especially L.A. Hip-hop. The detail in the set pieces as well. and how they used it and how the dancers were utilizing.

The dancing was great. Fucking Snoop. And then there was one point, Snoop is singing and behind him are these just like three like thick women dancing behind him. I was just like, fuck, yeah. Like I, what an array of people. What like what a performance. It was a great performance.

The backup dancers are always my favorite part of usually any live performance, but also the Super Bowl. and the dancing was great, the staging was great. Every single person, like, we haven't had a Super Bowl show that good, certainly in... Not since we've done page seven. I'm going to say it, except for the one Beyonce. I was going to say, Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce. But this, to have it be like a collaboration was something really fun and special, too.

To have it be all, to be like, yes, now Kendrick is there, yes. You know, Dre and Snoop, yes. It was just, it was like very, very, very satisfying. Mary Jane Blige. I also do love how many articles there were that were like, but did you know that Snoop was getting high? It's like mind-blowing. I'm sorry to even smoke a blunt like on the stage

during the performance and everything. Yeah. It's just so crazy. Also, he's in a legal state and he's Snoop Dog. He's, have you heard? I'd be mad if he didn't. He did it sober. I don't want to see.

and perform sober. People are so stupid and dumb. You know what I mean? And there was also a lot of annoying articles about like, who is Mary J. Blige? Here's your explainer. And it's like, excuse me, what? What?

Wait, what? That's ridiculous. It's true. There was like, I should find. Hey, there, honky talks. What paper it was. Oh, why'd you come down down? Had a whole like, here is,

who is Mary J. Blige? Here's who. And it's like, it was like treating her as if she was, like a little like random side, like bonus. I guess it's just, I mean, you know, I would only say it's because maybe she didn't have the continual career that the rest of them seem to have,

like, past the 90s. Isn't she like referred to as like the queen of hip hop? Yeah, she's amazing, yeah. I'm not, I mean, no shade, I mean. No, no, I just like, I guess it's things like that where it's like it's just so obvious sometimes that media's run by old crotchety white men. Sorry, Holden.

You're mid-level, though, so it's fine. You should see my crotch. It's incredible. He's a middle-aged, crotchy white man. It's different. People describe it like, when I went to the doctor last week, he was like, you've got a large crotch. Hey, you're not crotchety, you just... Is that a crotchety?

He's not a crotchety sometimes, but he's always crotchy. Always crotchy. Also, shout out of Eminem for kneeling, apparently, against the NFL's wishes. Oh, they were very upset about it. They were very upset about it. I thought more was going to go down. And I'm kind of glad that it did stay. But I am kind of glad they didn't push boundaries too hard

just because I want more rap in my Super Bowl special. So I'm hoping, you know, I didn't. It was all great. I was only worried that they would do just. Because if they did just enough, you know that everyone would be like, we can't have that anymore like that. We can't have any more acts like that at the Super Bowl.

Of course. No, everyone was covered. Everyone, there was no scandal. Yeah. It makes me sad that they had to. toe that fucking in the shadow of Kaepernick and having Kaepernick having his entire career fucked by the NFL

I feel like they I feel like it would have been cool if they had shown some like explicit solidarity with Kaepernick but I also get it that but he did the Neal we got the one Neil the Neil I would have liked and then Neil Young came out and he kneeled and that was cool and he was anti-spotify he was just going like oh

hey it's a Super Bowl he's like all right he's kneeling get him out of here he was like what's the Super Bowl is it a game, is it played to the ball. They're like, yeah, they had to explain to him what ball was.

They're like, get out of here, Neil Young. Go back to the valley where you write your songs that my dad was trying to explain to me. I was so curious. It was such a dad movie as I literally implicitly stated

like, I'm very excited to see this halftime show. And this is, you know, and like, just talked, you know, days before. I was like, I can't wait to specifically watch this one part of the Super Bowl.

And then just still, still found a way to talk my ear off in the... You got me nod. But what about the commercials? Did you have a favorite? Of course, y'all know. I felt like I flew out of the room when I heard the Sopranos theme song.

I immediately was like, The Sopranos... Is the Sopranos playing? I think for me, I loved the little, the, like, Shits Creek slash, what's his name? Why am I brain dead right now? Eugene Levy.

Levie commercial was really great. I was looking forward to that wings. I knew that was coming. And surprisingly, I rarely laugh at commercials and I actually thought that Colin Joss, Scarlett Johansson, uh, Alexa commercial was really funny where she could start reading their thoughts. I kind of feel like they kind of bumped it up. I will say just even knowing the doja cat was in one commercial, can I just say real quick, I did record myself screaming in Florida because there was a doja cat song on the light FM radio station. And I was in my, it was in driving my mother's car screaming. And I was like, where are you fucking men?

There's a, you're not supposed to be on 94.9. The station that Delilah is played on. You can't play doja cat on there. And then I just realized it's times like that when you really do truly realize that, man, I'm getting older, but everybody's staying the same. I don't have got afraid. I'm fun. I'm fine.

It was fun to see, you know, the guy Fieri thing was fun. So many guy Vieti's. They want extra Fieti in my life. That was fun. You know, I don't know. I like, am definitely a person who kind of hates commercial. I guess one thing I hate about like small town living is the, um, when, when you're hanging out with people and they start talking about like, have you seen the one where the dog does it? You know, and people describe a commercial to another person.

upsetting me and I did reference puppy monkey baby in the email and I think about puppy monkey baby all the time. Puppy monkey baby. I think it's just like a person who does comedy like nothing makes me more annoyed than when puppy monkey baby. Then watching like middle age people sit around and talk

about how like described different. I know we are and I don't describe you know I generally normally don't go like have you seen the one where the dog says he's got to go to the moon in my house I get mad either. In my house I get mad If Gideon laughs at a commercial, I like look at him very angry and I'll like turn off the TV.

I'm like, we don't laugh at commercials in this house. My, oh my God, my dad and my mom too. I think older people in general are such suckers for like cartoon, like animals singing a song. Like the Geico, chameleon. Yes.

People love it. And I remember I even turn to my dad. I was like, I know you love these. I fucking hate it. I think they're so unfunny and so corny. I just picture your dad tried to be like, And what about this? And you're like, no.

And he's like, and how about this documentary? And he was like, I forget which, I forget which one it is, but there's always, you know, in the jungle, you know, and all the, in the, and the, and the, and the giraffe is singing and the, oh, and they're rapping now. Isn't that hell? And I'm just like, I, it is my, like, like, happy feet. Remember that movie? The, my dad, every time the trailer for that fucking movie came on, he was like, oh,

how old Robespon. And I was just like, I will need, as soon as I can move to New York, I will, I will never, I will never look back. You know what you mean? And that was, all right, anyways, we have to get it. I don't know where. I mean, I was just recently at home,

every time I go home, my parents are shocked that I don't love the Big Bang Theory. Yeah. They're shocked. Yeah. And this time, Jackie, it's so funny.

I need to watch so much Big Bang Theory and so much young Sheldon. And every time I had to be explained of why Young Sheldon, I'm like, I know it's a spin-off. No, but you don't understand. Because the thing is, is that he's from the South. I understand.

It's a God-fearing family. I understand. I understand what young Sheldon is about. I don't care for it. And then there I am. I will say shut us about hobby, our friend, the pastor in that.

And also Craig D. Nelson's in it. I fucking love, I'm not upset about the actor. Right. No, no, I know. I know.

I'm upset about the creation. Of the show in the first place. Just being, and really, it's just more being with parents you know what I mean, talking about. And I was a sitcom junkie back in the day

when I was growing up, but I am just not. I'm just a different place now. All right, here we go. The celebrity conspiracy, hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Is share? Good God.

It's rough because I usually let Jackie carry it, but she can't carry it this week. I don't know. Whose idea was it, I think it was mine to sing Share every week where I've got about a two-note range and that lady's got a big ring. I'm going to really down. I'm always down. I'm going to do it, Holden. Do you believe it? Oh, there you.

I'm the bad god. Oh, duh. Is Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale based on Quinn Fabry from Glee? Wow. Oh, my God, a Riverdale conspiracy theory. Yes, please. How MJ and I both perked up, right? Jackie was saying, but you got her back.

Who says, hey, I'm on my lunch break at work and don't have much time. I will not be fact-checking anything in this email. so prepare to be amazed and convinced. I love that entry. Love it. Hell yeah, I love it. Did not think about it for too long. Did not do any research, so fuck you, but here's my fucking research.

I'm at lunch. I hate my boss and I hate you. Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale is an apology to Glee fans and lesbians everywhere for the misdriement of Quinn favor at Glee. I love this too. It's like in line with the supernatural one as well. Gleeks might remember Quinn as a blonde bully bitch who mostly served as a foil to Leah Michelle's character, Rachel.

Quinn has a lot of harrowing times in the show, including a teen pregnancy and getting kicked out of her parents' house for said pregnancy. My theory is that Quinn was written to be a fairly two-dimensional and hateable villain, but Diana Agrin portrayed her with such nuance that her deeper narrative arc was extremely compelling and hard to ignore. Also, Glee, was my mom's show that I would come home and she'd be like, Glee, it's high school kids, and they break out into song.

And I'm like, I know, but it's very funny. I'm like, my favorite movie right now is about a guy who like shits himself to death. I don't think, you know what I mean? Like, I laugh at like a man being decapitated by like a monster. You know what I mean? That's like what I think is funny.

Anyways, Diana fans. Sorry, I'm about to, who is the person that wrote this in? Afterwards and I'm probably gonna blow your mind. Okay. Diana fans have been speculating for years that Ryan Murphy, who is a showrunner for glee, disliked Diana so much that he refused to give Quinn

any meaningful narrative arc after her teen pregnancy and eventually wrote her off the show. Meanwhile, off camera, Diana was performing glee songs live on Broadway. And in one performance, she wore a t-shirt that read, likes girls, even though Quinn was supposed to be wearing a different shirt. The day after said performance, Diana penned a winding, winding, inconglusive essay on her personal tumbler about how she loves gay people. The essay didn't seem to amount to much and puzzled fans. Maybe she was trying to get groundswell support for a gay Quinn Fabri?

Lesbians who watch Glee interpret Quinn as an extremely repressed teen who cannot fathom being gay due to her strict religious upbringing and nonetheless finds herself obsessed with and crushing on Rachel. Repressed gay women everywhere related to her urge to bully her crush instead of confronting her feelings. Could Diana have been pushing for a gay storyline only to be ignored and written out by her nemesis, Ryan Murphy? Who else worked alongside Ryan Murphy on Glee?

That's right. Roberto Aguera. A.k.a. The head show runner for Riverdale. Cheryl Blossom is everything that Quinn was. Mean, pretty, rich, repressed, and more. All caps, Kanye style. She actually gets to be a lesbian. Did Roberto know Diana wanted more for the Quinn character? Did he write Cheryl as a sort of apology and homage to the bitchy blonde?

Has Diana ever watched an episode of Riverdale? Whoa. I think the answer's probably. pretty clear. Keep up the good work. I love page seven. Do you believe you fucks? I added that last part. Whoa, I know that Anne would never say that to us. And I want to say Ann that I appreciate the fact that you did no research on this and the fact that you came at us during your lunch hour because I fucking love that shit. And the thing is that if you look it up, a lot of people feel that are Riverdale and Glee basically the same show. There's actually many overlapping

general ideas of both of the shows. And in fact, instead of people thinking that Cheryl is like Quinn, they actually feel that Cheryl is like Santana. Now, I don't know anything about... Ooh, I like a hot one. Oh, like seven inches from the midday sun. Yeah, yeah. That they actually overlap in many ways and that they compare.

Choney to Britannah, which I guess is Brittany and Santana as a couple. I don't know these characters. You could be speaking literally in an alien language right now. I literally know I know the words you are saying. I even understand Brunerdale and I'm still struggling over here. And while you were talking about this Holden slash Anne, there is a BuzzFeed quiz called Did These Absurdern Storylines happen on Glee or on Riverdale? and I was taking the test

because I know all the Riverdale ones which I did definitely forgot about oh MJ remember when the cult leader tried to escape on his own made rocket Yes That was awesome But there are other ones that are in Glee That I'm like

I hate to say this Should I be watching Glee? Should I watch Glee? I would maybe give it a show Should we do a watch along of Glee? I mean who knows how long Gossip Girl last We're already doing like two episodes at a time on this Discord watch along on our Patreon. The question was a student had to get eye surgery after having a slushy mixed with rock salt thrown into his face.

That is a glee storyline. Really? Another glee storyline. A teacher locked two X's into an elevator in hopes that it would get them back together. That is a glee storyline. Wow. The more I'm hearing about glee, the more I'm thinking maybe I should be watching. A religious club staged a fake rapture to scare another student into thinking she'd been left behind.

That is a Glee subplot. I think that maybe, MJ, we need to watch Glee. Oh, my God. I know. I feel like actually it will explain everything. Glee is like the first of all of these. It's like the first Riverdale, the first Gossip Girl, the first of all of it. Oh, yeah.

So I don't know. I don't know if I can handle all the singing. You know I love a musical. But sometimes, and I know you love the musical episodes, MJ. But I am not a huge fan of watching people that are not musical people sing in the style of a stage singer. Right. Am I making sense? Yeah, no, it makes sense.

And you're right. I like the funny lady. She's fine. I like the funny. lady. You know what I mean? We know what's her name? She's funny. She's in Marvelous Miss Maisel and she did the, she does, she's in commercials. Do you have COVID braids? Because I'm out of my mind. I have baby braid. I cried earlier because I couldn't remember Dennis Hopper's name and I was like, am I broken forever? Jane Lynch?

Is it Jane Lynch? Yeah, Jane Lynch. Ah, yes. She is a funny lady. She is a funny lady. She is in commercials. She is in love. Everything you said makes sense. It's funny because it's true. I believe in you and I'm watching you. I believe to. I believe to. Thank God.

Thank the Lord God we all believe. And now it's time for the list. Oh. Who's on the list? You gotta say it. Hold on. Got to have that list. Are you doing the list?

You want me to do the list? I'll do the list on usual pre-fame careers of famous comedians. I'm going to be real with you. I only chose. this list because Greg Davies, who I am obsessed with, he is the lead, he's the host of Taskmaster. I did not know that he was a high school drama teacher for 13 years. I didn't know that and it makes me and then made me love him even more because now that I'm watching, I'm watching even more Taskmaster because I'm sick and it makes me fucking feel good. And so if you want to feel good,

you should totally watch Taskmaster. And I hate comedy and I love it. So, some things I did know Ken John. It does seem like it really has made you very relaxed by the way you describe it. I think I'm so hopped up on medication right now to get me talking that I'm feeling more aggressive than frightened of you. Yeah, yeah. I knew that Ken Jiang is an actual doctor specializing in internal medicine comedy was something John did at night to let off steam and now he is absolutely amazing. Now we got Bob Newhart. He found early a success with the release of comedy albums of the 1960s and then hosted the Bob Newhart show. But before that, he was an accountant for the United States Gypsum Corporation. He wasn't cut out for accountant work, and his motto became, that's close enough, which is not good for an accountant.

But damn of it didn't lead to the creation of three excellent TV shows. I mean, Bob Newart is unbelievable. And I actually am very surprised that I did not know that Sam Kennyson and I didn't know that he was a Pentecostal preacher before he became a comedian. That's how he got all good at like commanding station. It explains everything about him. Think about it. Yeah. Yeah.

Like that big energy and that, you know, being able to command a room and scream until people believe the thing you're trying to make them believe. I have no idea that he was a preacher. It makes so much sense. And he had a head injury as well. A lot of people attributed to some of the greater comedians. I mean, I will say I've had four concussions. There you go. That's probably why you're such a funny lady.

You should be in commercials. I'm funny. Should I be in the pictures shows? Yeah. I mean, I will say my mom still asked me multiple times, like, have you ever thought about being on SNL? Oh, the best. That's the ultimate parent thing, though,

when you go into comedy. You know, you ever heard SNL? You should do that show. Beyond that. Whoopi Goldberg, who's in the hot seat right now, she fucking should be, but I did not know that Whoopi Goldberg was a corpse beautician

in a funeral home before she made it. Doing hair and makeup on the dead wasn't so far out of Whoopi's comfort zone. She did attend beauty school after all. And I feel like that's a very weird way of saying, does that mean that models are akin to corpses? cracked because that's what it sounds like. A fun little fact for me, I didn't know this.

Instead of farts growing up, our parents and we, therefore, called them gassies. And I brought this up to my dad, or he mentioned someone having a gassy. I was like, oh, yeah, we used to always, why didn't we call them farts? He was like, that's what Whoopi Goldberg called them, called it in this one movie she did.

And I was like, ghost? And he was like, yeah, that's the movie. And I was like, what? I was like, hey, I can't believe I guess that the first try. Also, does she really call a fart of gassy and ghost? Anyways, if somebody could confirm. It's like, yeah, I can't explain it. We saw a ghost, and then we just, for the rest of our lives, we'd call them gaseys.

Gassie. I don't even remember the movie well enough to know which Whoopi Goldberg film it was. I could just tell you it had to do with Whoopi Goldberg and you were children and it just stuck. Yeah, I didn't know because it was weird. Like, no one else called them gassies but us and I had no idea why. It's because she said that in ghost. Anyways, go on. That's very, I love those things, though, in your family, right?

You're like, what? And also he was like, yeah, Wobie Goldberg said it once in that one movie. And I was like, ghost? He was like, yep, that's the one. I was like, how did I guess? Well, it's a fair guess for a dad. Like, take a dad and then think about what Wopi Goldberg movie he's thinking of, you know?

He saw. Yeah, yeah. See, I was thinking of bogus because I've seen the movie bogus a hundred thousand times and, and yes, it is where Gerard Despart do plays the imaginary friend of a young, really, Joel Osmond, and Wopi Goldberg, I believe is a foster. I'm so upset you brought that movie up. Yeah, go on. Holden's dad hadn't seen that, Jackie.

Oh, too, you're not referring to Gerardt-Bardtapard. The Gerard-Nipard-Bardtieh, Haley Joel Asmond will be Goldberg vehicle now. Oh, what a best of me. I will say, I saw it sister act with my dad in the movie theater, so I'm glad I didn't. It could have been that. It could have been bogus. Yeah. Phil Hartman.

R-I-P. R-I-P. Phil Hartman before he became the Phil Hartman we know in love was an album cover designer. What? He didn't start his television career until later in life. Well after he earned a graphic art degree at Cal State Northridge in 1974. Holy shit. I had no idea. Man, what a cool guy.

See, it's a good list. Ricky Jervase. Ricky Jervase was a frontman of British top 80 charting group Siona Dancing. The glam pop band broke up in 84, but not before a brief flare of success in the Philippines. That sounds like a. a character element of his from the original office. Like that sounds like, it does.

You know what I mean? Yes, completely. That are extras, you know, doing that. We've been just, um... I loved extras. And we've been watching an idiot abroad because Jeff has never seen it. And just getting back into that makes me so happy. And last but at least, go check out our episode of pop history on Wanda Sykes.

But did you know that Wanda Sykes before she became the Wanda Sykes we know in love was a contract. specialist for the National Security Agency. She bought everything from radar and surveillance equipment to furniture and even had a secret clearance level. I did that. I did that. I did that. I did that episode,

but I want everybody else to know, and so you should check it out if you didn't know that. All right. Well, what I do know is, I think I'm going. Fine. Oh, we can't see you. Why are you guys being creepy?

I don't know. Jackie. I've tried to match Jackie's energy. Why is that, like, sultry? I would describe that as. Oh, you can't see. Yeah. Rock throbbing right now.

Crotchy, crotchy, crotchy, crotch. All of the blood, my hands are numb because all the blood left them and they have went straight to my genitalia. Oh, unrelated to your temporary eyesight problems. Totally. Two different systems. Honestly, I should be on my way to an emergency number.

I will instead do blind items. You're good does. This A-list. actress Tui, who sometimes goes by she, brought herself an engagement ring and is going to post photos on social media on Valentine's Day making it appear she was proposed to. I mean, the only person I know that got

proposed to on Valentine's Day was Simone Biles, and I don't think that it's Simone Biles. No, I guess this didn't actually end up happening. But I'll give you the clue again, the line again at least. This A-list actress Tweed, who sometimes goes by she. This is a hard clue. She, music and acting thee, cannot find a place to pee.

The second line is not a clue, but the first line was a clue. See, I guess I don't know what the noun Tui means. I thought Tui was an adjective, so that's why my brain is not. Yeah, yeah, it is an adjective, but it's like me being poetic or whatever. This A-List actress Tui, who sometimes goes by she, plays the ukulele. Does she play the ukulele? I think so. Is it Zoe de Chanel?

Yeah, fucking it is. Of course it is. I gave you a lot of release. But you said sometimes goes by she, so that's why I was wondering. I, oh, I thought that I meant more.

I thought that they were a trans person. No, like I was so broken. Zoe DeShall's in a group with M. Ward called She and Him. Yeah, I was like, is this somebody who's like

has multiple pronouns that they use? Oh my God. I can't exist in 222. It's confusing. Catch up, holden. Although I will say, you got a lot of love for the Sydney Sweeten. I saw that, yeah. They were like, I know it's Sydney all along.

You did a good job. And I'm doing a podcast with all those people now called Sydney. I knew it was Sidney. I was to talk for hours about how we knew the answer to the clue. That's not true. Yeah, so the cute couple shared some cutesy Insta Valentine's post, and Zoe's fans got wondering. first Jonathan Scott, who, what, is he the realty men?

Oh, yes, one of the property brothers. Oh, yes, I forgot. Oh, yeah, they're making it. They're making juice together. He posted a pick of him smelling a rose. You should look at this picture. He's like laying and smelling a rose. Yeah, no, I don't want that.

I don't know why, but I don't want it. They're both, like, good looking in the same exact way, you know? They look like they could be brother and sister. She should be a thing She should call her the property sister She and him, am I right? PST or PST, dot, dot, dot. Hashtag Valus game.

PST. PST. PST. PST. PST. Patshtag Valentine's Day is next week. Dot, dot, dot, dot. Just a public service announcement.

Yeah, fucking fuck head. Whoa. Then Zoe posted a pick of herself in a cute pink floral dress leaning on a white wall with the caption, hear this. now engaging Valentine's Day mode. And everybody was like, oh, all her. Did fucking Jonathan fuck it up and he didn't even actually propose to her?

Well, this said she bought herself an engagement ring. It was just going to be like, you know what I mean? Which is a move. But I don't think it happens. Leave it to Jonathan to be like, sorry, I was working on the asbestos claim on this house. I asbestily love it. Or something like that. I will contract with you for the rest of my life.

You're a big old house woman, and I want to live inside of you. You'll be my forever home. You'll be my forever. And a woman. Big old house for a head is what you've got. And also, my brother has to live with us. My brother Drew has to live. Oh, you mean the non-property brother or the real property brother?

Oh, Scletor. He's the real property by the black sheep of the family. Drew is the other, is the twin. The non-property brother is, I think J.D. He is his name. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure he has a hip-hop album coming out, but let's get on the next one.

Let me get this straight. This A-list comedic actor-slash-host is making it seem as if he was the victim in his divorce when it was he who was hooking up with a random women and an A-list co-star at the time who was neither, the co-star was neither married or with children. Nick Cannon. Fuck off. You love Nick Cannon. I do love him.

I would have his baby. I think that you just got to open up wine, bro, and I think you don't even get anywhere near him. Right. Junior, it's a doma. Someone that's cheating. It's a host of a show. I saw Junior in the movie theater with my dad as well.

We saw it, or Jumanji was another one we saw. Man, you guys saw all the hits. All the classics. We just saw some really good ones. It's how we relate to each other, sitting in the dark, not time. Oh God, isn't it great? A list comedic actor slash host. He was in an animated series that you love, Jackie.

He is a man. He has a name. I'm asleep. He's got legs and arms. Jimmy Kibble. He's got legs and arms. Jimmy Fallon. His wife that he got divorced from is also a comedian.

She also has legs and arms. She also was in both of them were in single comedy, sort of mockumentary-ish style. I don't know. I have COVID-holding. Of course, of course, he may have been a horse at some point in his life and a thing.

Oh, BoJack! Bojack! It's Willard. Yes. He was his comedian white. Of course he was fucking cheating on her. Who is his comedian wife? Eddie Poller.

And who was neither married nor with children co-star. That was an absolute clue of married with children. Christina Applegate. It is. Christina Applegate. It's really not hard to put the two. I was thinking of Peggy, but that's too much.

Now, uh, well, the two women in the show is not the dog. Is it? It's got to be one of the two women. You're going to guess either. I don't know. Why are you yelling at us? Help. I don't even have COVID.

You asked me to host the show. I'm also hitting a wall, hold then. He recently stated in an interview that after their split in 2012, quote, I was driving to the set one day and I pulled over to the side of the road and cried for an hour. That set he was headed to was most likely for the sitcom up all night,

which he had Christina Applegate as his on-screen wife. So I guess the rumor there is that he cheated on. Amu Polar with Christina Applegate. You're a bastard. I am a bastard. No, Will Arnett's the best. They're both bastards.

I like Will Arnett. I like Will Arnett. I'm sorry that I pulled this one, Will. No, you're not a bastard. I didn't have a lot of options. I love Will Arnette. Super funny guy. sounds like he was not good at Amy Polar.

Right. It happens. He hates me. Oh, no. He's great. You love BoJack. Remember? I know.

I love BoJack. Should I go watch BoJack and cry after this? More like No Jack. More like Nojack divorce. No. Am I going to get a divorce? I haven't even gotten married yet. Spit on my microphone.

I'm so funny. God, everyone knows it too. It's so challenging to be so funny and everybody know it. He is so funny. He is so funny. It's so fun when a hold of a host. Yeah, everyone's like, I get stopped in the street in L.A. I'll tell you that funny man.

Who's that funny show? Everybody says that about you. No one acts like I don't exist here. No. Here's your last one. I need to come up with a clue for this one. So let me see what your guests are off the bat and then I'll come up the clue.

This back in the day, A-list, mostly television actress, who all of you know, says she is an empath. She charges fans $1,000 and her. covers her hands over them for 30 minutes before making some musical notes on a pot and calls them healed.

Oh, she throws in an autographed picture and a certificate of your healing as well. It's not all the he dogs and all the she dogs. No, no, no. She was on, she was actually a replacement of a main character on one of the most successful sitcoms of all time. Oh, um, cheers.

Yes. And was it Kirsti Alley? Yeah. Of course. Of course she's not exactly what you would see her as be. She's kooky. She's like the Kanye of 80s sitcoms, right? She's unfortunately something.

Absolutely true. Yes. No, it's too bad. I'm going to posit maybe less original talent than Kanye. I'm sad because she was one of the first people that like, I mean, you can go ahead and disagree with me, but I feel like at the point when she was starting to gain a bunch of weight and she's like, I don't get my shit. Yeah.

And there was part of me that always loved that about her. And then as she got older and more crotchy, if you will, I'm sorry, crotchety and not crotchy. Big crotchy, yeah, yeah, yeah. She got crotchy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just so, you know what, I just want to say, disgusted by this episode, I feel like it's a disservice to humanity.

Why? Holden. No, I'm just kidding. No, I just, I'm glad we got out of it, but just what a bizarre state we are in as a culture throughout this past week, you know what I mean? It's been weird. Everything's been really weird.

It's been, bad ways that I like to you. That's it. I'm giving it into the COVID. I don't exist. Wow. Is that what you want to hear? I did not expect us to end this episode with this week. But, you know, I got one thing to say to that,

chicka to China the Chinese chicken. You didn't just choose the the problematic part of that song. Now I'm canceled. Cancel me. Good God. You've been canceled. Edit it out. You were the first ever trans-canc canceled person.

Congratulations. You found you did it. You got there. Cancel me. Just cancel me. MJ's new TV show coming out. Just cancel me. A sequel show to just shoot me.

No, I'm kidding. I had a great time with y'all today. and I'm glad we unpacked. What we had to unpack. I think people would be mad if we didn't talk about, you know. Had to talk about it. Yeah. And somehow Nick Cannon came out worse.

How? How do you do that? After a week of this much from one other person that at this point will be Voldemort, shall not be named. It's Billy Talk now. And instead, Nick Cannon, I actually think I hate more. It's unbelievable. Welcome to 2020.

I will say, Nick Cannon has less redeeming quality. than Kanye West in the aggregate. Not right now. Right now there's nothing redeeming about Kanye West. As a whole. As a whole, there are things about Kanye West that are very important and good and interesting. Not so with Nick Cannon,

except perhaps the movie Drumline. I will give him that. Hey, drumline holds up. All right, everybody. That's been our episode. We hope you enjoyed it. We're going to do the plugs, and then we're going to end with the shout-out.

So, hey, wow, I get to start this time, Jackie. I sort of posted the show this time a little bit. You did host the show and thank you very much. Thanks, Colette. Thanks, Jackie for showing up. I didn't show up when even my family had COVID and I didn't have it. Well, you were the only one to take care of it.

Yeah, and you did the episode. I attended, I didn't have it. So you can follow me on Instagram and not Jackie. We didn't do that. I didn't even know. It is not Jackie on Twitter as well. Yeah, that's not what it is. I think it's hold.

I think it's hold on. No, but seriously, check me out. Twitch. dot TV forward slash hold naters ho. Jackie and I, we do a really fun stream on Friday. So I stream on Monday, Tuesday, Fridays. You guys come join us. It's so much fun. More importantly than that, though, I am legit having so much fun for our gossip girls watch along. We're only three episodes in. It is not too late. M.J., Jackie, and I hang out with a bunch of awesome people in our special Discord that you can get access to by just doing $10 a month on Patreon. For $5 a month, you can still join in over there on the text channels. We're talking Rupal. We're talking Riverdale. There's all different text channels for different chat alongs to talk about different shows or you can talk about the episodes we just did and all that kind of stuff. It's super fun. And then for $10 a month, you can join us on our Watch Along Gossip Girl every Thursday 5 p.m. PT. That stands for physical therapy. Yep,

we're going to be grinding. Make sure your muscles are working properly. There you go. Nick Cannon. So you can join. So you can join. us there on Discord via Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. And also one last thing, page seven podcast at gmail.com, please send your celebrity conspiracies, your shoutouts, your blind items, we use them, we love them, we need them, we live off them, we will die if we don't have them, page the number seven podcast at gmail.com.

Take it away. Either one of you. You go, Jackie. I'm going. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. It's great because you can't get the COVID through your ear holes, and that is wonderful, but I hope that you're taking care of. But try, Jackie.

What a nice. Ah. Yeah. Is that how I do it? My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Follow me on Instagram, but check that worm. And coming out on Fridays and coming out on Tuesdays and Thursdays over on Twitch. TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie, where we talk about sex and we try to have sex.

with daddies and a cul-de-sac via game. We're gonna talk about sex, Jackie, you got, you should use that for the theme song. I should. No, no one would ever sue me. My name is MJ and I'm MJKL-Kat on Instagram. We love you, cuties. Thank you guys for listening to my sick boys.

Oh, and also, to finish it out, the shout-outs. Enjoy! Shout! Shout! Shout out. These are the evening. Mel's that you wrote it about. Come on.

Gonna read it to you. Come on. Hey, everybody, Holden here to do your weekly shout-outs. I know, I know. I'm not Jackie. She has the stupid Novit or whatever. So I'm jumping in for her. I hope you don't mind.

I promise she will hear all of these and revel in them and feel them deep in the guts of her. But I will be doing them this week. Ha-ha. First up, we've got friends. Rances, who says hello from across the pond, Jackie Holden and M.J. I just want to start by saying thank you all so much for keeping me entertained whilst I work and making me laugh and shout at my Alexa when you're on a rant, I agree with. It's the best. The reason I'm contacting you

is because I want to shout out my very best friend, Katie. As I mentioned, I am from England and whilst at university, I did a year abroad to continue my studies as UMass Amherst, Maroon Platoon in 2008. I arrived in America without one of my suitcase. as it got stuck somewhere, had to ride a piss-scented Peter Pan bus all the way to Amherst as the Luz had broken, and I was super down. Oh, the Luz, I love it. I was in a foreign country without a phone without one of my suitcases, and so nervous, that's when Katie came to the rescue. I nervously attended a dorm party, and it was the room of her at the time boyfriend that I guess the party was at. Us being 20, couldn't drink. Boo, America, wake up to UK rules. I get it.

I hear that. But she had a stash and shared it with me. She then offered to take me to target the next day to get stuff. I thought no one could be this nice and genuine as us Brits are a little more closed off. But nope, the next day she brought her car and took me to my first ever target trip. Who is that nice? Ever since, we have been best friends. And even though she still lives in Massachusetts and I am in Essex, England, we are still very close. I love it. The five-hour time difference doesn't affect us. I message her every day and she messages me. No one can drink champagne. Watch nonsense, get our nails done, and chat endlessly like us. We have traveled and got up to all sorts of mischief along with seeing each other, get married, and her being the godmother to my daughter. We are hoping to plan our next great adventure once COVID behaves. She has been there for me when things have been super dark and even came over when I had my serious postnatal depression and psychosis, getting the right meds and being diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and BPD.

This woman is an angel and a little devil, wink, all rolled in. into a wonderful package. I love my American and hope to forever have her in my life. I also want to shout you out, Jackie. Oh, me. Thank you so much because you are a wonderful human. Thank you for speaking so honestly about how you have had trouble in the past and how you were not always the nicest person. I mean, me too. I don't know if you guys know this about me. I was also a jerk at points, especially in high school. I have a friend who was very close to me and properly introduced me to LPN, but we no longer talk. A large part of it was my fault, and I would one day, day love to talk to her again. But I understand if she never wants to. Ooh, are we making a connection

here? Oh, please. I hope this changes things around for you. It's hard, but you must own up to your actions because, as Marcus says, mental illness isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility. At the time, I didn't fully have a grip on things, and that broke us apart. If you're listening to this, Vicky, I miss you, and I hope one day to talk to you again. My number is the same. So should you ever want to talk, message me? If not, I get it, and that's that. I am also going to forgive myself, because I wasn't 100% myself, and this is an ongoing process of growing and healing. I love that, and I love that for you, and I hope that things work out. And I hope that Vicki contacts you.

Thank you, Jackie, for sharing all your struggles and making me feel not as insane as I am. No, I'm not the only one. Much love to you all, Francis. Thank you, Francis. This one comes in from Betty, who says, hi, hi, loves. First, I wanted to say, thank you. My husband and I just put on your latest episode to cheer us up after finding out our sweet baby dog Morty has a cancer's book.

bump, oh no. We are obviously devastated, but it's a testament to your show that we got the news. And after figuring out next steps and sobbing, we're immediately like, let's turn on page 7. That will cheer us up. Seriously, that's incredible to hear that, Betty. So this shout out is for Morty, who can use all the good vibes right now. He's a five-year-old Pit Bull Rescue who has already been through so much as he had a broken hip when we got him and could only walk on three legs. He had physical therapy, which was adorable. They have him walk on a treadmill and a water tank that is amazing to learn to walk on his quote lucky fin as we call it and has been doing really great up until this news he hates baths loves cuddles and

kisses and is the best emotional support animal anyone could ask for if anyone wants to see pictures or videos of morty and his little sister bean they have an instagram and ticot at morty and bean M-O-R-T-Y-A-N-D-B-E-A-N. Morty and Bean. We are not monetizing them or anything. They just bring so much joy to everyone who meets them because they have the biggest smiles and even bigger hearts. Thank you again for always providing some levity.

It means so much to us. Love you, Betty. Also attached for some pictures, the last one inspired by Jackie. The last one is my friend, Ashley, taking Jackie Skew and basting the children as the mistress of Thanksgiving in 2020. They are so adorable.

I love these pictures. Thank you so much for sharing them. And again, I'll make sure Jackie and MJ also see them. This one comes in from Kate. Hello, Jackie, Holden, M.J. and Natalie. I just wanted to send you guys an email to shout out this awesome show. It's been with me through good and bad times and more recently a big shift in life. You know that void of a major breakup after a four-year relationship and having to move back home. Oh, absolutely. But I heard your pop history on Rup Paul, how it's not wrong slash shameful to move home. Agreed. And especially if it helps you move forward. And I think I'm going that trajectory. I just got a new job in Boston that's paying me more. I'm closer to friends. I used to live four hours from friends and family. And I'm taking the time to heal with my art

and sewing again. So long story short, thank you for making me feel not alone and give me reasons to laugh. And even though I'm crying while writing this, ugh, that's just my cancer crab energy. I get it, Katie. I'm smart. Kate, rather. I'm smiling and looking. And looking forward to the future. All my love, Kate, P.S., special thanks to MJ for helping me look into and come to understand that I'm a demi-girl. I never understood why I felt like sometimes, yeah, I could be girly, but other times I wanted to be no gender. And doing more searching, I found the term that reflected me best. I love it. Stay safe, everyone. And I hope for wonderful things for you all. Thank you so much. This next one comes in from AC, who says,

Hey, hey, y'all. Thank you so much for your work. You're the only celebrity culture podcast I've ever been so consistently entertained and delighted by. Amazing, A.C., thank you. I'd like to, if possible, request a self-shout for my 29th birthday on the 18th. So close to MJ's. I've had a really tough time of it the past few years. Haven't so many of us, A.C., both due to the obvious circumstances of the Rona and some general bullshit in my personal life. But things are finally starting to look up. I'm moving to a new city next month. Congratulations. I'm getting real help for my brain problems. Hell yeah. And I'm going to be pursuing my lifelong dream of studying animation in the fall. I love that. And I'm honestly pretty proud of

myself. I hope none of this is out of line. And I hope I got the email right. Take care, you lovely people. Of course you got the email right, AC. Perfect. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Next up we have Jody, who says, Hi, page seven friends. Love you all. Love the show. It's my fave in all of LPN, of course. But you guys are my favorite. Shh, don't tell Henry. Y'all helped me survive the panorama and an already abusive eight-year relationship that turned even worse during quarantine. Like, ugh, I think my heart goes out to all of you that have had to deal with that and how quarantine made that so much worse for you guys. And so I'm glad you're a survivor that you made it through.

You all kept me laughing when I was miserable and your example of positivity and love and acceptance was and is a constant reminder that are good, genuine people out there. And all y'all's openness about your lives and current and past struggles is very appreciated. especially knowing the success you all have had after those experiences. It reminded me that I have friends and people who love me because y'all remind me of my tribe. For a survivor of abuse that is huge and was for me because the fucker abusing me was constantly trying to convince me otherwise. Hearing this stuff, Jody, is really impactful for me and I really appreciate that. I can't believe we have this much of an impact, to be honest. It's really amazing.

Anyways, I'm shouting out my big bad bitch self. Hell yeah, dude! because I performed an act of radical self-love back in October last year and dumped the chump, kicked his sorry ass to the curb for good, and it was terrifying. Hardest thing I've ever done. We have a son together, which made it harder, but I did it. Congratulations, Jody. I'm healing and feeling better than I have in years. I've lost over 30 pounds. Fuck yeah. Finally, put a name to my sexuality after years of saying I was by, but never feeling like that was quite the right fit. But I figured out I am a proud pansexual woman and the world.

is now my fucking oyster of happiness and opportunity, y'all. I'm having a real E. Pray Love moment in life, and it's fucking epic so far. Part two of this self-shout. I know. I'm being extra by this shit is good, I promise. Is that I made a move yesterday on a woman who I've been massively crutching on since we met last summer. I went to, I went old school with a mixed CD and cheesy roses or red poem. I would love to get a mixed CD these days. That would be so amazing. Roses are red poem involving both of our fave, Star Trek character, Jordie LaForge, Forever. telling her I'm into her. Totally cheesy, but so fun and something I've always wanted to do,

but never had the guts. I had planned to leave it for her on her car at work as a surprise, but because the universe has a sense of humor, she came outside the minute I pulled up, so I just gave it to her in person. I don't know why my lady balls took so long to drop, but I'm very proud of myself. Even if nothing comes of this, this is a big deal for me, and I'm feeling like one bad bitch. Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. Of course we made it this far. I love this email, Jody. Love you all so much. Thanks for being the best friends. I've never met. Peace and love, Jody. I love that so, so much. And this last one comes in from Stephen, who says, Good evening, Jackie, MJ, and Holden. Hope it's evening where you are. It sort of is. It's almost its full 20, technically right now for me on the West Coast of America. I'm a big fan of the show. The last podcast

network has inspired me to do most of my Midtown drinking at Pioneers. The loudest bar, oh my God. I've spent so many crazy nights at pioneers that is wild. However, I could never hope to compete with the level of rabid lunatic reverence that my lovely wife holds for your madcap antics. And with your permission, I would like to use this forum, her favorite, to shout out my amazing, hilarious, beautiful, rich, genius partner, Robin. I don't know her name on your guys's, I don't know her name on your guys's Twitch channel, but it probably has the number 69 in it because we're 12. We just celebrated our 10-year drunken hookup aversary, and fingers crossed, we'll be celebrating a solid decade of officially dating in March. I love that. Lexi and I also have a drunken hookup obersary and then a actual dating

anniversary that is like about a month or so later. We got married at some point between then and now, but who gives a shit? Hell yeah. Robin, when we met, I was just a sunbleached cow skull in Austin, Texas, and you were a little old jug of moonshine from Arkansas, but now we're a couple of Grown-ass rat kings living in Jersey City, New Jersey, baby. It has been such a privilege to watch you flourish over the years and become the best version of yourself. Aw. I mean, you were pretty good before, but now you're amazing. In 10 more years, you'll be a fucking God.

Thanks for letting me tag along. I love you. Also, solid decision to move to the East Coast. Also, I ate a couple of your ginger shoes. Hope that's cool. That does it for me. Thanks. Love you guys.

Platonically. Thank you, Steve. Yours in Christ, Stephen. Thank you so much, Stephen, and thank you all of you for your lovely shoutouts. I hope I did them justice. I'm sure Jacko will be back soon with them. But hey, you know what? You got to step in and help where you can.

The lady is exhausted right now with that dumbass pandemic disease. You guys are the best. We'll be back with more stuff next week. Until then, take care. And love you to pieces. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them.

For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.