Page 7 - Ep. 439: Karma with a K

Episode Date: March 3, 2022

This week we're gossin' 'bout the use of the phrase "I Can't Hear You", Mr. Bubz vs Lil Bub (RIP), the Queen possibly being dead, the president of the Ukraine's past voice role as Paddington Bear, the fallout of the SAG Awards not being canceled and the state of internet discourse in general, Jackie's Hidden Valley Ranch rabbit hole, the nonexistent trend of Skeleton Brunches, Matthew McConaughey's not hair transplant, R. Patts deciding his FF7 waifu, and in celeb conspiracy corner;  Is T. Swift going to release a previously scrapped pop rock album!? An outlandish yet real list, the blinds and them shoutzz! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A roast as dark as the night, perfect for fueling the crypted research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge! Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, rebring you, Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans. Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today.

Jackie, you may be. He's under Jinks curse. This song has been in my head and it's because of euphoria and I completely forgot about this song. Oops, there goes my shirt up over my head. Oh my, oh my, oops, there goes my skirt drop into my feet.

Oh my, oh my, ooh, some kind of touch caressing my legs. Oh my. Ooh, I'm turning red. Who could this be? Oh, my. I can't get it out of my head. And they used a fun elder millennial song in Euphoria.

I guess we're still hip. Welcome to Page 7. We are still hip and not broken hips. Come on. We're old. I'm Jackie. Welcome to Page 7. They also weirdly used my favorite jazz song in Euphoria with Bill Evans

peace, peace. World again. I'm like, what's happening in for you? Because I thought you were supposed to play a hip hop track that I've never heard of, but was very impressed by. And instead, I'm hearing my favorite pianist's song. Yeah, I'm sorry, did you mean pianist? Ha!

No, I'm a vaginist. Yeah, so whatever with you. I'll be a vaginist. I have been many a time in my life. So you put a stick up pussy, a flute up your pussy. Yeah, I flew up. make a whizom. And then all the rats come out of the walls.

Yeah, she's the rat queen. Oh, no, they're all inside of me. It can't be a flute, people. It would need to be like a clarinet or a woodwind. A recorder is honestly probably your best bet. Well, recorder's probably going to be, yeah. Yeah, all hot cross buns it. You see something you can.

That's always been vagina's first flute, yeah, is the recorder. You work your way up for sure. Are you welcome for this issue of page 7? I'm excited about it. What was that cynic? I don't know. It is what it is. Are you welcome for?

I like it. It implies. Implied meaning, Holden. Language is constructed and we make meaning out of it. Thank you, MJ. If Jackie says, are you welcome? So you're saying that was an intended, like, cultural slang phrase? No, I'm saying that I'm saying that I can.

got her meaning out of what she said, even though it's definitely not what she meant to say. And I think she created something kind of nice. Are you welcome? Well, I think they are welcome. It's like, are you ready? Are you feeling welcome? Are you welcome?

It also sounds like your... My favorite beginning to a corn album ever. Sounds like you're scolding somebody, like propping them to say... Are you welcome? Are you welcome? Yes, yes, mom. Yes, ma'am. I want to start saying that after every time I say thank you. Thank you. Are you welcome?

I'm not seeing it in your eyes in the eyes of the wind of the soul. We all know it and doesn't seem like you're very welcome right now. It's just like that thing everybody loves that like professors and like motivational speakers do like at the beginning of a class or a session where they go, I can't hear you. Good morning everybody. Do it again. I didn't hear you. I love it though. Why is that still a thing?

Everyone universally, I bet if it's an unspoken thing is we, all forget about it immediately. We're like, oh, I fucking hate when people do that. And then we kind of move on with whatever they're there to do. And then you hear, I can't hear you. Like, doesn't everybody universally fucking hate that? And then everyone's be like, good marty. I kind of like it. Good, Mark. But they're still very

happy about it. Oh, you both. Oh, hubs and bubs over here. Oh, absolutely. I'll be a bum about this. NM.J. Jackie's the one in the room where the professor says, I can't hear you. And she goes, okay, I'm going to really do it this time. I'm ready. Now I'm gonna really shy.

Wow, that can be. Oh, ha. Be me by mo-moo. I do my vocal exercises. And then I let it rip. And I'm not talking about farts and me. That was my theory was that everyone universally hates it, but never mind. It is a two to one consensus.

Some people, like Jackie, like Jackie, actually appreciate the. I can't hear you. The vaginist is what you called earlier. And I just, you know, every time I think of bubs, I call Jeff Bubb a lot. but it makes me think of Mr. Bubbs. You remember Mr. Bubbs? The cat? The disabled cat who died.

No, Mr. Bubbs is the dog and he goes, ah! And every time he gets close to him, he goes, ah. What's the disabled cat that died? The disabled cat who died, you know. Oh, no. Oh, the grumpy cat? You really are a hubs and bubs and jakes. We're trying to talk about a fun dog.

You're all remember you're trying to talk about a crippled cat. Now I'm over here Googling disabled cat who died. Oh, no, you're going to get weird ass now, dude. I'm not crazy. His name was Lil Bub. Oh, Lil Bub. Lil Bub. Oh, little Bub.

He had a little tongue out. Oh, he's cute. Oh, this guy. Yeah. Oh, so dead though. Don't you dare hold in. Well, they had, it was a, yeah. Unfortunately, Lil' Bub was at the bank.

A robber came in. Use Lil'ub as an example. Blue Lil'ub's brains out. Splattered across the cashier. She's like, oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. You know, that was how it went down. Yeah, yeah.

And then the guy got off Scott Free, too, made it to Mexico. Oh, no. Well, Bob was only eight years old. M.G. Why did you do this to us? Yeah, why would you do this? I don't know. You guys are the ones who brought up Bub.

What about Mr. Buh? We can't even say a word now without a hate can flap. I'm sure you can find that any word you can say can be attached to some more creature than- Asked away. No. There's only a few beloved disabled cats on Instagram who have died in the last few years. I'm starting to realize what kind of a person you are in these college courses that you're taking.

I'm sorry to- The one who always brings up some tradge. tragedy. Yeah, it's some horrific tragedy. It's like, we're trying to talk about how to bake a cake. You're like in Homack. We're like trying to talk about

how to bake a cake right now. You're trying to talk about this time of woman. Do you remember Sylvia Plath? That was, to be fair, that was me in high school. But that was unfair, unfortunately, there is no home back in graduate school. I wish there was. I wish there was a homeck in my fucking high school.

I would have loved that looking back on it. I loved it. I didn't get to have those things. But please look up Mr. Bubbs. Mr. Bubbs is with a Z. And then if you look at his face, you can hear the sound, which is what I feel most every day. I just can't believe I'm over here getting yelled at for confusing Mr.

Bubbs the dog with Lil Bub the cat. And they honestly have the same face. And they're both Instagram stars. Unfortunately, though, it does say here that Mr. Bubbs was slaughtered in a roller coaster accident. Oh, don't say that. A little Bubbs or Mr. Bubbs was too tiny for the roller coaster. ended up flying out of it

and then a second roller coaster completely exploded Mr. Bubbs on impact. No, he's a pet fluencer. Is that what they're called? A micro pet influencer. Oh, micro pet influencer. No, I don't know. Yeah.

Is this dog make more money than I'll ever make in my entire life? Of course, Mr. Bubbs does. I mean, most of them do. I'll never forget when last podcast was doing that big comedy festival and Doug the pug was in a bigger stage. than they were at and got like a better time slot. But Kissel, bless his heart, just was excited to meet Doug the Pug.

And so, you know what? It's all a matter of perspective, I guess. Fucking little Bub and Mr. Bubbs look like they could be brothers. So I'm just putting it up there. They would love it if they were brothers, though. We're not here to talk about Bubbs. We're here to talk about, unfortunately, I'm sorry, fortunately, QE2 is still alive.

I loved this conspiracy theory that the fact that Queen Elizabeth got COVID, quote unquote, but nobody's seen her because she's being careful. And everyone's like, she's dead. She's secretly dead. But the thing is that I only wrote this in a minor article of what I sent this week, but I went down a worm time of like, is she really dead? Please. I actually can't believe we haven't spent more time on this because we love talking about the queen

and the royal family over here. Did I not use this as a conspiracy? Maybe it's all exists in my head or just from reading the blinds. But yes, I, too, was convinced that she's been dead since the holidays. I think we talked about it. I think there was a different she's dead conspiracy from, like November. But then when they announced that she had COVID, I was like, here we go. They're like teeing it up.

They're teeing up the big announcement that she's going to pass away. I was like, she's been dead. Everyone's talking about how she's dead now. She's been dead for months, according to us. But they had to, like, make her die now because it's like, I knew she'd been dead since the holidays, right? And then it was like, okay, here we go. They were starting getting the ball rolling.

She's got COVID. And what comes next? you know, Grim Reaper making his way down the aisle. But she's been spotted, Jackie. She's had two virtual meetings. So part of me was like, yeah, but if it's virtual, can't they just record? But no, she was interacting with people. So, and I'm like, still, deep fake technology.

Yes, deep fake. Deep fake, jigs, you can't talk again until I say your name, Jackie. She's been dead. You're right, Holden. The reason I know she's dead is because we did talk about it on this show as a conspiracy theory that she has been dead. And now everyone was catching up with us, as usual. We are the cultural leaders.

And everyone was talking about how she's dead. And then she got COVID. And I was like, confirmed. Okay. But, okay, and also the deep fake, okay, team me up with a question. I'm Queen Elizabeth. Tea me up with a question. Can I speak yet?

Queen Elizabeth, how do you feel about the death of your husband, Philip? Oh, my God, she is alive. Also, I did say her name technically, Jackie. Oh, I mean, I assume, you know. Right? Like, that's how easy it would be to fake that. Just, again, ask me another question as Queen Elizabeth. I'll be Queen Elizabeth.

Which of your corgis is your favorite corny? She must be alive. Maybe it's Olivia Coleman and not Queen Elizabeth. I mean, she's an amazing actress. Maybe it's Megan Markle. Maybe they brought her back and they were like this, you know, and she did her chameleian acting. They're like, you're an actor. You've been on suits.

You can probably play the queen. Yeah, and she was probably in Bones at this point. Who knows? She's such a good actor. I imagine it on Bones. Suits, Bones, House. They're all the same show. Yeah, what are the other ones that run on USA all day?

They just are one word names of a thing that you literally watch when you're depressed and you can't physically leave your house. You're so sad. I'm always impressed, though. My mom watches all of them and she tells them all apart. And she's like, you know, the one. And then she explains it.

I'm like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. She's like, don't you work and, in pop culture. I was like, yeah. Yeah, but not fucking sad old lady pop culture. We're working at, you know what I mean. I even have a friend. We have a friend, Dan Soder on Billions.

I still can't watch the show. Dance Sotter's on Billions. I know it's going to be cool. Yeah, Dan Soder's been the last like three seasons, I think. That's amazing. And I still can't even bring myself to watch it. I'm sure it's a fine show. And you know what?

I said the same damn thing about Yellowstone, but you know what? I started it last week and I'm enjoying it. People are saying really good things about Yellowstone, though. I feel like I hear about that unlike these other shows We're only here about it. Billions has been on for so long. Yeah.

Well, what's it is Billions like Succession? Yeah, I think that's, it's like off-brand succession. Because some people love Billions. Yeah, it's store brand succession, right? We say this is three people who haven't watched it. Like, maybe it is great. Maybe it's good. I just don't know.

I just can't give, I can't give the time to it. There's so much of it. Like, I did it with Peaky Blonas, but I liked that I did it with Peaky Blanus. Yeah. That was a great show. And even. Peaky Blinders didn't peak.

I'm sorry, what show? My interest in it. Say it right. Biggie Broadway. Thank you. Thank you. There you guys. That's again.

What show were you watching these days, Queen Elizabeth? My gay blonde. Well, she's definitely alive. I mean, everyone's having the same feeling every time I listen to Paddington Bear and they're like, oh, that's great. So happy that America can write about that the president of Ukraine was also the voice of Paddington Bear for the Ukraine version of. Paddington Bear and everyone's like, see how great he is. It's like, no, he's so great because he's really fighting for his country. We're not going to get into the Ukraine thing right now.

No, but it's fun that we found a way to, it's great that a story came out this week that allowed us to even at least just acknowledge what's happening, you know, without a dwelling on the horrors. Last week, there was definitely the article where it was Ashton Coucher. Everyone needed to know, how did Ashton Cucher because Milakunas is from the Ukraine? How did he feel about it? And then there was clips of every time Milakunis has ever said the word Ukraine or Ukrainian attached to the article.

And I was like, who's doing this? There's a war happening. There was that weird part too where Milakunis was just like, you know, my family is originally from the, how you say, Ukraine, which is really bizarre. So we've been picking apart that. That is so dumb. I guess we can also segue this into the SAG Awards thing, which I've got takes on for sure.

But I love that he was the voice of Paddington for the, I guess the Ukrainian. First of all, I weirdly, I weirdly, right after we had Winnie when I was just like in the dark watching a lot of movies at the time, I weirdly watched those Paddington movies.

I haven't seen them, but everyone tells me I have to watch them. People are obsessed with them. They're so fun. And the guy from Mighty Bush, I believe, didn't he direct the second one? Or am I wrong? Anyways, it's so good.

Oh, oh, it's the guy, yeah. It is the guy that directed, I believe. Paul King. Not one of the two guys. Yeah, yeah. And it's just really well done. It's kind of got a West Anderson vibe to it. But they're both great.

They're super cute. Zelenzki was also on Ukrainian Dancing with the Stars. He's like a, you know, he's a real, real, you know, he was an actor. Very president. But also, what a great representation. What an amazing figurehead of a, a soldier figurehead of a country that needs strong administration right now. There's, I mean, I'll, oh, I'd kiss him.

I wish I could kiss him. But I can't kiss him because he's kind of in the middle of a couple of things. But I just love, though, that really is America. I was like, oh, what can we write about? We've got to write something. That and then right next to this article was the Kardashian, oh, what was the word? It was something about Kanye and Tristan, Thompson and they were it's like oh the Kardashian discards get dinner together in Miami and that was

what the headline was on page six and that's like oh good I'm glad that that is overseeing the um you know the president of Ukraine being the voice of paddington pay but I will I will throw this out there as you link to the sag awards and how awkward it is to have like a big Hollywood event at a time when there is like this whole issue gone with this whole like war thing or whatever i did refer to these articles as wartime page seven edition yes i like yeah makes it sound like we all have to save our rubber scraps you know i think i think this is an interesting thing to talk about for sure because i think first of all it speaks towards a thing i really hate and wish would go away i think i just completely hate twitter um i hate people's hot takes i really do i just the way people come off just is not good

I think a lot with Twitter. Right now, I'm personally suffering through a lot of Eldon Ring discourse that makes me really annoyed because I love this game and there's so many people, I don't never eat you, but me don't like that.

And I'm just like, okay, then play something else, you giant baby. But talking about the Saga word thing, but what are they supposed to do? Like, what do people think? Do people understand, like, how much money goes into an event like this

and how much like, you know what I mean? I could see it if like, maybe if like a 9-11 happened again, I could see maybe canceling it. But it's like, dude, I get that like it's a little eye-roly or like maybe just don't watch the Hollywood people enjoy the red carpet right now if you're really stressed out about Ukraine. They were going to be ripped apart whether they, there was nothing said about it.

There was going to be ripped apart about the fact that they did bring it up. Because the SAG Awards were on Sunday and it was the day that Putin started all of his fucking bullshit. So that was like the beginning of it. And so people were so upset that these celebrities still got together. But it's like, like you said, Holden, it's wrapped up in a lot of fucking things. There's a lot of, like, there's a lot of designers that are waiting for this. It would have been also like America is not like, you know, I appreciate and think it's great to have solidarity with people whose land is being invaded by like a powerful military nation.

I think we should have more of that solidarity with like, you know, like it's great. But it's not like right. And obviously there's like big implications for like, you know, first like war like this in Europe since World War II, whatever. But the idea, like America is not currently at war. So the idea that they're like, cancel the SAG Awards. It's just like, what? Like, you know, just let the people do their SAG and then say they're, you know,

bland things about standing with Ukraine or whatever. Who cares? This is what's so frustrating about the whole Twitter discourse thing in general, right? Is how it gets funneled into these articles. None of the people they reference those tweets that they reference, none of them are verified, are affiliated with like. Right. It's like creating discourse out of nothing because you're supposed, people who write those articles are just have to make, they have to make eight posts a day or whatever. Which I understand.

They go find five tweets and say, this is a trend, you know. Right. People are mad at SAG. I keep like running into this thing with these articles where, I mean, that's what's killing me lately is like every article now has to end with a bunch of. of random people who I super don't care about's dumb take on the article. You know what I mean? And I'm just like so over that. Like stop doing that. People who write articles. I get that you have a word amount you need to fill. And so that just like fills out the last of your instead of being like, and that is why I think like an eighth grader essay. And that is why I think.

Have a good wrap up paragraph. Get those little words in there. Twitter started as a, you you know, alternate, and at its best still is. Even Ukraine is a great example, right? Like, there is independent press tweeting out of Ukraine right now. Like, it can be an independent source of information that is more democratized, right? Than, like, you know, mainstream media. That's what it's good for. What is what it is bad for is when then mainstream media or whatever we call where

these, like, articles go, you know, where media then, rather than Twitter being like, media isn't saying this, this is, I'm somebody at a protest, here's what's happening. Instead, media then is like, I need a story. I will just go to Twitter and aggregate tweets. So it's just this like empty hollow calories of like there's actually, like, you're just, you're just finding people who said something on Twitter. That's not what Twitter is for. Yeah.

It's all, I mean, it's the whole problem of the internet right. We don't have to get too far into it. But it's all put up on the same level. And that's why so much, we have so many issues with misinformation now, is like a qualified doctor and some fuck face in a basement in Idaho are on the same somehow level at times. And so people will be like, fuckface is right. We got to we got to put holes in the masks. We got to put holes. You know what I mean? No. But on the other side of that, like MJ, you were informing us about COVID like way ahead of the game. Right. Because I was on

epidemiologist Twitter. Like it can be a really useful thing. But right, in terms of like whatever, I watched all these lady Gaga talks about Ukraine. Andrew Garfield talks about Ukraine. They all did fine. It's going to be very awkward because war is a horrible thing that you can't really talk about in a red carpet interview with Laverne Cox. So what are you going to do to be like, hello, Laverne Cox. Let's be very serious. You know, like let's be, what do we all try to imagine what would be like if we didn't suddenly didn't feel safe in our own homes?

There's no point in talking about it. What do you think about the devastation happen? You know what I mean? Yeah, right. There's like, there's a point to talk about it but not at the red carpet. And should the Saga Awards not be happening? I don't know. Again, the U.S. is not at war nor should, like, there's, to pretend like,

the U.S. needs to stop what it's doing. I don't know. It's just, it's strange. Again, it's great that people want to show solidarity. it's just the idea that everything should be canceled. Like you said, it's not 9-11. You know, this is like, this is like a war that, you know, hopefully doesn't escalate more with the U.S. becoming involved. I don't know, it's just like a strange thing to be like,

U.S. To all my Ukrainian little monsters out there, all I have to say is rah, ra, la. I mean, that's my problem is that, and if they didn't say anything, they would be just as vilified, and if they do say something, they are violated. It's a very uncomfortable decision. Romance. It's a bad romance between them. Maybe they should break up.

It's apples and oranges and people love to roll out the eye rolls for the any Hollywood event now. But just to me too, I'm just like, but this is just like last week it was some other thing that was completely fucked. Or it's like the Imagine video, but also with war, you know, I'm sorry, but like Hollywood loves war. And Brian Cox's speech was great. And it's like you can give.

I think it's funny. sometimes Brian Cox's speech was just like, you know, Zelensky is an actor and there's like art, we should have solidarity with like artists. He can say or do anything and I trust him and I believe him and I would, I would follow him into any kind of fire. It was great. I love Brian Cox. Totally great.

And it's, and part of me is like, it's kind of funny to me when actors are like, the only way I can relate to anything else is if I also make it about acting. Like, but also, you know, it's, you know, art, art connects us. Art is moving. And then it's at the same time, it's the criticism of. You have no stake in this. Why are you even speaking towards it? So at least I do see where Brian Cox is coming from in trying to be like, as fellow actors, like at least then we need to support each other.

Totally. Even though it's still, if it wasn't Brian Cox saying it, probably somebody would have ripped him apart for it. Yeah. And it just kind of depends on how you say it and when you say it. And the SAG Awards at the same time, I feel like even people that we read pop culture, for a living, nobody cares about the SAG Awards.

Right. It's every year. Yeah. When do you ever gather the family around? You gotta cancel a thing no one cares about in solidarity with Ukraine. It's because people don't, it's this generation, the upcoming generations don't care about awards shows anymore. Right. The idea of like the Oscar and like the SAG awards within, you know, I was about to say the cult,

but within the group of SAG, it is a big honor. It is even, it's a, it's ugly. I think that the problem is like, sorry, you finish. No, it just, who cares? Right. The problem is that there's, right, and award shows are very self-important, right? And that's kind of what's fun about them. It's just like, let's pretend this is the most important thing that's ever happened.

Don't watch them. You also don't have to watch it. Right. But like, also, like, you know, it's just, it's all, anybody who's like, oh, we shouldn't have, it's just all very self-important because, honestly, you, I watched the State of the Union last night, and there was something that's like, oh, you know, the Ukrainian, people are going to be so proud of how President Biden spoke about them. And it's like, I think that the Ukrainian people are pretty busy right now.

Yeah, I think they're trying to survive a war, you know? Like, who, I don't think that anyone in Ukraine is like, I can't believe they let the SAG awards go on, you know, like, or I don't think the same thing, any Ukrainians here in the United States who are terrified for their family and friends or whatever are like, oh, my God, I can't believe the SAG Awards are going on. I think that it's just not really a concern. I feel for these people, I was in a, I was in a, position for a minute where I was trying to just pull any article out of my ass to get 60 bucks

from some aggregate site. I get it. We've all been there. But, but man, stop quoting just random fuck faces, tweets. Like, stop it, stop doing it in a silly way. Stop doing it in a, you know, stop quoting their jokes. Stop quoting their takes. Because it just really, I think, props up a negative shitty thing. And here's the most, I think maybe the most ridiculous. Talk about unnecessary articles you've ever since. Oh, you're talking about Matthew McGonaghanay says, Dr. lied about giving him hair transplant he never had. No, that is brilliant.

That's the one that we're going to talk about neck. I thought you were talking about all the ranch articles that Jackie forwarded us all week. No, the ranch articles are probably. What do you guys think I am some fucking monster? What am I some horrible, you know, totalitarian, you know. Are you? Who are you? No, no, I'm talking about skeleton brunch.

Everybody. Skeleton brunch is literally an article about a thing that never existed, not existing. It happens on TikTok and sometimes there's skeletons and they go to brunch and it's skeleton brunch a real thing. There was an article written about it. But what about the article that I also, we need to discuss and it is not the skeleton brunch. It is the fact that somehow Big Ranch has found me. I don't know what happened.

What is that about? Fast forward through all the war content and get to Jackie sending us. She is forwarding us all the emails that she's now getting from Hidden Valley Ranch. My inbox is full of forwards from Jackie. And you know who forwards you? The older people in your life are the ones who forward you things. And Jackie's over here forwarding us promotional emails from Hidden Valley Ranch. It's like a chain mail.

It's like a chain mail. It's like forward, forward, forward, forward, forward, forward, forward, re, re, hidden Valley Ranch. And you can join them as if it's some sort of organization or cult or movement to be a part of. You can get, I mean, I like a ranch T-shirt. Ranch Across America, because that is what it is called. That's called Ranch Across America. I don't know how I got signed up for Hidden Valley Ranch emails. I've been getting multiple every day.

And it's just like, have you thought about ranch in the past couple of minutes? And the answer is no. But now I have to think about ranch. And I didn't know that I needed this much more ranch content in my life. And so now, yes, I am forcing you both to endure my ranch content because I don't know what happened. Okay, so join Ranchology rewards. Take your taste buds on a trip across America. Once you join, you'll get our new recipe series of ranched up regional favorites straight to your inbox every week from 3-7 all the way to.

a 418, along with a ton of other ranch. First of all. March 7th till April 18th, six weeks of ranch. The idea, I'm sorry, I know it comes in packets and I know you can add the packets

to hamburgers, hamburger patties or whatever. But the idea that I need six weeks worth of ranch recipes. I will be sick of the spice combination by then. I don't want that. First of all, ranchopees, you psychos,

that's what it should be called. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I stand with Ukraine and I should have said ranchepees. Second of all, ranch is the one thing that I've never used in any kind of recipe. It's literally something to dip your bread crust from a piece of pizza into.

And that's pretty much it. Maybe a chip or something. There's a bunch of cyclopats out there who are trying, who are also in the pocket of big ranch. Katie Lee from the kitchen is one of them. They love ranch. They put ranch in fucking everything. They're like, oh, you want a fun weeknight dinner? Ranch meatloaf.

You know, it's psychotic. and it's not okay. And I get it, it is just a combination of spices. So on the one end, I don't want to be so resistant to it. But I don't like it and I don't support it. And I don't think that you can create an industry of recipes based on a single mixture. I only hope that they have, I think that it goes out to Ukraine because when you click on any of the links, it pops up peace, love, ranch. And I feel the community has the sagalogists.

Yeah. I just, I'm feeling about the ranch fam is here. They are loud, they are proud. And for some reason, they want me to join their team? Yeah, I just saw this other email. Yeah, the team is weird. I don't know. What do you do on the team?

Score points for your team by earning individual badges. The team with the most points by March 31, 2022 wins. Well, we have to do that. We should do that. Get chances at exclusive prizes. So get in on the draft today. The draft? What is this war?

Wow. I don't need another one on. my plate, and also the ranch swag, there is ranch jenga? What? There is ranch playing cards. There are, there for some. I just imagine taking a regular box of jenga pieces and covering them all in ranch and then being forced to play jenka with it.

Is this, at the other day, is this Eric Andre's fault? Did he do this to us with his bit? Because he had a ranch, a really funny bit from his show about ranch. I was obsessed with ranch. I don't know. Is he the reason why there's ranch checkers? now because you put them inside of a ranch bottle and then you

scoop them out and then bam you can play ranch checkers. Yeah yeah his bit ranch it up and legalize ranch. We're hugely successful. Remember legalized ranch? Yeah, I don't know what's going on. You know, I don't watch comedy. I've watched enough cooking shows that I know it is a thing to be like let's pretend that ranch is like

a genre of food as opposed to like imagine if like McCormick was like, for six weeks, you have to use a packet of taco seasoning in everything you cook. You would be like, I don't want that much. MSG you would be absorbing, but also, MJ, very important. What if? So they have Hidden Valley Ranch, Letterman jackets, and on the back, it says, team ranch. Now, would you wear them and we then could pretend like we are on Riverdale? Yes, I would wear a ranch. I don't even like a ranch. I don't even like a ranch. I would wear a

Ranch Hidden Valley Ranch, Letterman jacket. But if it's Riverdale, you guys gotta cheat on your spouses while wearing the jacket. Jeff, are you fine with it? Yeah, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Listen, we're all making sacrifices right now. Andrew Garfield is mentioning Ukraine in his red carpet interviews. We can, the least we can do is wear a ranch jacket and cheat on our spouses to be on Team Ranch. We could get Hidden Valley Ranch suitcases to pack up our stuff

when we are leaving our spouses after cheating on them. because you can, I think I'm going to add this to the wedding registry. I would love to see, just love to see what my aunt Susan has to say about me needing Hidden Valley Ranch suitcases. I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm a company woman. And if I am to be a ranchologist for some reason, and I need you to know, this is not because of a micro-influencer bullshit. They didn't reach out to me to do an end of affiliation. We are not getting rewards for this content here.

No, we're only giving it to them. But I just, I'm so offended. I feel violated. They've come inside of my house, and I'm not talking about how ranch kind of looks like come. I'm talking about how it found its way in, and just so many emails. Okay. So many of them. Okay, if you guys actually have been to the website, first of all,

I'm looking at it right now. It's prompting you to create an account, and I'm not going to do that. Peace Love Ranch. Ranchology 101. And there is three tiers to earning ranch rewards, level one. One is you have to earn zero to 19 badges. Level two is 20 to 39 badges. And level three is 40 plus badges.

So we can form a team, but I'm not sure how much badges we're going to be able to. How do we get the badges? Why do I care? You got to put it in your chicken. You got to put it in your grilled cheese. You got to put it in your pasta. Can you imagine? I'm not saying that honestly.

I feel like if you put it on a grilled cheese, as someone that uses mayo as the slick of the outside, that's the key to a perfect grilled cheese. You put butter on the pan and then you put mayo on the outside. But I wouldn't be past doing ranch on the outside of a grilled cheese, but I have my limits. I do not want to put it onto any kind of hot pasta. I do not. It's like, I guess maybe a pasta salad, but I have my boundaries. They've got a flask or maybe it's just a sleeve from flask. They've got like a cute crewneck sweatshirt that just says ranch. They have sweatshers. pants emblazoned with a bottle of ranch on them.

I'm stunned. Would you like me to get you the swimsuit that says I put ranch on my ranch? I don't put ranch on my ranch. No, but I would like the tennis visor that says when I come, I come a ranch. That I would be into. That's the kind of ranchology that I can get behind it. I'm scared of the rest of it. I'm scared of true intentional ranchhood that I didn't know that this was something I needed

to be scared of. Oh, but I got a question for both of you. Are you a dipper, swiper, drizzler, or dunker? How dare you? A dipper. And all right, oh, you're a dipper? Yeah. Oh, he's...

Yeah, I only use ramp. First of all, I'm not really a ranch guy. Sorry, Big Ranch. I'm super... No, you're a chop head, you. I'm a blue cheese boy. And I think everybody knows that. Because the only times I want ranch is generally going to be with...

It would be... Honestly, pizza crust, especially if it's like shit pizza. Hell, I'll even dip the, you know, I'll even go dip the actual pizza part of the pizza into the ranch and slam that down. Gumby's pizza, remember that? Gumby's in Telahas. And you get that, was that signature ranch,

which I believe is just ranch but watered down. But it is signature. The signature ranch and you would dip, I mean, I would drown my pizza crust in that. That's pretty much the only application I use for ranch. And then if, because if I'm having wings and I have the choice doing ranch blue cheese, it's going to be blue cheese every,

single time. Oh, I'm a blue cheeser. I definitely am a blue cheeser, but I think I hate to say it, Swiper, no swiping, and I'm not doing just a Dora thing. I think I'm a, I guess I'm a swiper because you got to get in there.

I love it. Y'all know I love a dip. I love mayo. I do love ranch. And so that's why I feel like ranch has some sort of inside person that knew that I love ranch, but I don't love ranch to this extent.

There is, again, a limit to my ranch. Now, my question for y'all is, do they serve ranch at the skeleton brunch. Because that is... Did we explain this properly, by the way? It is a TikTok trend that does not exist. This is an article about a made-up TikTok trend

where people film themselves having brunch with a skeleton sitting at the table. And the funniest part about it is the article's like, here's what the trend is. Oh, by the way, it doesn't actually exist. It's made up. And no one actually doesn't. And then at the other article,

they're like, but you never know. People might start doing it. but they haven't yet. See, the thing is the reason why I liked it so much. So we have General Skellington. We have General Skellington and we have Jethro Skull. And those are two skeletons that live within our home that we do talk to, that we do like they hold plants for us, that we dress them up. I understand.

I think that's why I did when I first saw this article. I was just like, Skeleton brunch. And then I was just so upset. Like the fact that I had to read this article about a non-trend that I, in turn, like how I keep forwarding the ranch articles to you both, like I am sending you chain letters. I needed y'all's time to be wasted the way my life. I'm so happy you said this because it was so, because now,

ever since I started doing this show, I've become more and more obsessed about, like, filler in these types of articles. And, like, this is the most filler article I've ever read. I'm sorry, do you remember when Rudy Giuliani is brought up in the skeleton? Yeah, that was good, though. I love. They weirdly brought Rudy Giuliani into it, but it's also... As the fake trend began gaining steam online, the fake trend, another user posted a fabricated

DM with Rudy Giuliani in which the former mayor of New York City said skeleton brunch, and then appearing to realize that he had messaged the wrong person, followed up by saying wrong person ignored. So again, it is a fabricated DM. There's it. It is a random guy in a basement in Idaho. It's the same guy who's like, who's also getting quote. for his, how he feels about SAG Awards in the Ukraine.

I mean, it is, what is happening? The Giuliani thing is a, so Giuliani was like, like, had several instances of, like, actually giving out his number to people in, like, ways that were just, like, astonishingly not secure. But then it became, like, I think it became, like, there was, like, there was, like, a series of ongoing fake screenshots of, like, people, you know, texting Giuliani. and so I guess I think that that's what that was a reference to. Like there's a deep history of like the joke of Giuliani

just like having no obsequent giving out his and texting the wrong people and stuff. Like even when he was like, you know, Trump's lawyer like and Trump was still president. But that was honestly, that was helpful for me because I was like, I don't understand anything about this article. And then the Giuliani thing happened and I was like, I understand that a little bit.

The title of the article is wrong. It says skeleton brunches are trending on TikTok, but do they actually happen? So the whole article is predicated on this trend that isn't a trend. I feel like the chaos lepracade has come. Yeah. Chaos. This has made me be like, this has made me more disheartened in the world than the Ukraine situation. Am I uncle o' grimacy now?

All right. Okay. It is so funny. And also the trend itself is so hilariously weird. Like it makes no sense. You just put a skeleton at a table and have brunch at the table. That's the thing though. People on TikTok, they are making things happen.

You know, the question is it happening or is it not happening? I think that's a less concrete question. Joseph Allen, I, who writes for distractify, I want some words with you. I need to understand how you came to be. You know, this, it's incredible, it's ingenuity, honestly, because I could never, back when I was trying to write, um, filler articles for various websites, I never would have had the audacity to write such a thing. And so it's just, and then distractible, and then the editor, who is your editor that said, you know what? This is got, this got, this is going to get some legs. This is going to get some skeleton legs.

You got to write this article and we're going to put it on distractify. I love it. I love everything about it. I think that it's great. and I can't wait for skeleton brunches to become a thing. And you'll eat your words, Holden McNeely, at brunch next to a skeleton. Oh my God, there's a bunch of articles about Eldon Ring,

and they're all so brain dead. I want to, I can't believe. Don't look at the Eldon ring ones, Olden, because then we're going to lose you. I didn't even think to just look at the other articles on this site. This is an unbelievable man. Yeah, well, don't worry. Matthew McHanay didn't get a hair transplant, or did he?

It is, you know what? There's a war happening, and what is interesting, and like I've seen, I wish, I should have been documenting how pop culture websites deal with traumas and, like, national and international. Human rights atrocities. Uh-huh. It's so, because then it's just like, what are you, because now they're like,

bring out of whatever you got and it is just like looking under like into dark corners of like, I could write it out this and you're just like catch the rat. Like, and then we play the recorder and they come out and then we've got a bunch of content.

Yeah, there was a really funny line in this article too that I love, a quote from Matthew McConaughey saying it was just like sheer ingenuity or something like that. I will say it's dicey at best. I don't know what Matthew McGone did to have his hair grow back. He claims it was an hair transplant

that he, that it was just time made his hair grow back, which we all know is not, I don't think a thing, but I'm not a doctor. But he is openly saying he did not have a hair transplant. Oh, his was. I was fully committed. I was fully committed to it.

No propitia, no nothing. It was just manual labor. Manual labor. So he's moving boxes, and every boxy move. another sprig of hair popped out of the top of his end. Yeah, I love the idea of him just sitting in a chair just going, just like, you know, just like little hairs just sprouting out.

Baldness is like, you know, it's like this great equalizer, like no amount of wealth or fame can prevent you from going bald. I know you can get hair transplants. And I guess to some extent, there is some amount of wealth and fame that can kind of help you, but can it, you know. It's different for, I think it's like, I think it looks great. Just go bald. Yeah, do it.

I agree. Just go bald. I mean, the only thing I'm sure people could write in and be like my head shape is fucking crazy. You know what I mean? So, I mean, there's that. But other than that, I'm always kind of like, guys, just don't stop fighting it. It's so much sadder to see someone fight it than it is. It's got to be, though.

I can only imagine, like, I would just be devastating. I know, I'm not bald. No, it would be dramatic in a hundred ways. It is an interesting thing to think about because I feel like there is, it is like a thing that primarily happens to men, not exclusive. and it's got to be like a real, I mean, not for everybody, but I'm sure for some people it's like a real identity shaker. Like I used to look this way and now I look this way. Like it must really be stunning. But I think because we don't like our society doesn't like really talk about like that men do care about their appearance. Like we don't really treat baldness as like oh that must be like a real loss. Like you used to have we kind of make fun of it laugh at it. You know, but you know, I imagine it's really like really hard for people. It's devastating. Yeah. One day you have beautiful. Luscious locks, and the next day you look like just a skeleton sitting down for a big old brunch. Get that mimose out, but then honestly you fit right in.

Oh, more like my ghost stuff. That fun? All right, well, I challenge, all right? You heard it all here right now, page seven family. I want you all to do the, take the skeleton brunch challenge. Just literally film yourself eating a full brunch with a skeleton sitting at your breakfast table. Or just a piece of toast. You could do a toast.

Or just a piece of toast. You could do, or like, pour a bunch of brunch. Mary all over yourself or something. Just do something. Yeah, you go bloody Mary, bloody Mary. I'm right by a bathroom, Jackie. Yeah, yeah. Don't let the mirror hear it.

Before we continue on into Celebrity Conspiracy Corner, I just want to throw out just in general, very excited for the Bittmans. I'm going to see Bittmans this weekend, and I am really excited to see and dream about our bats and Zoe Kravitz having sex on top of the bat. Oh, fuck, we, we, oh, God, we didn't even talk about, like, my big fun, this was the weirdest

world's collide thing that Robert Pattinson is, like, a big old, fun of it. That is my favorite game for my childhood. I, too, have a challenge deciphering between who I would end up with Ayrith or Tifa if I had my choice. I think he does a bad job of describing the two. Arith is, like, of the earth. She is, like, this very, like, kind of natural, beautiful, like, she's of the planet, kind of she's that she's, I'm sure she's like vegan, you know what I mean, she's that whole thing.

So do you think that's why he was in love with Kristen Stewart? Right? And then Tifa is like this fun, is the fun bartender, like badass. So you saying Arbats wants to be with me? She punches, she kicks, she makes horrible mistakes with guys who want to be amateur wrestlers. Punch, kick, it's all in the mind. And he'd be like, oh, I love you. Yeah.

Oh, it always throws me off to hear his accent, too. I never, I always forget he is British or what? He's British? That's like me and Andrew Garfield. Every time he talks, I'm like, really? Weird. Yeah, it's so bizarre. And Tom Holland, you know.

Tom Holland. Yeah, I was going to say I don't forget, but I do because I associate to me. He is Peter Parker and then he talks, but he looks like a little British, pip, pip, giro fellow. I guess so does Andrew Garfield. And what's her name in the interview, by the way? I didn't appreciate how she nerd shames him all throughout while he talks about his childhood love of these ladies. But then this is the problem with Arbats.

Again, we were talking about this last week. I don't know whenever he's telling the truth or not. Now, he does know enough about Final Fantasy 7 that I would assume. Yes. Now, you also love Final Fantasy 7, but in watching it, you do think that he was telling the truth. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. And he's of the age, I think, that would also have been obsessed with.

I love, that's so crazy to see, like, I wasn't sure if you would put the article in the email. I was totally going to send it to y'all because I got so excited. I was like, it's the batman, it's the Jackie's horny man. And at the same time, he loves my favorite video game. Anyways, so shoutouts. I love you, R-Bats. I know that you're listening, and I can do your Tif, Tifis, Tifa and Eret. I'll be Tifa.

I'll be Tifa. M.J.'s A-Ritt. More of an Ereth. And Ereth, well, I won't give the spoiler way, but he gives it away, but I won't give the spoiler way. Anyways, I think it's time for you guys to hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Is T. Swift going to release a previously scrapped pop rock album? I hope so.

So this one comes in from Victoria who says this one is for you, Holden. I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and came across this Swift T. Swift Spiracy. Is there a, this is a secret album coming our way? Rejoiced, what a time to be alive. You know, it really is familiar to me from doing pop history. If you do remember Mariah Carey had a secret alt rock album called Somebody's Ugly Daughter They Never Released

There's also, what was the Prince album as well That was never released? I forget what the name of it is, but it is, I think that... It is on YouTube. It does seem that there's a good amount of notable singer-songwriters that have come out with alternative different albums that they,

I'm assuming that their management and that their people keep hidden because they're like, no, no, no, you got to stay in the genre that we told you to be in. Yeah, Garthbrook, Chris Gaines, anybody? Oh, my God, I talk about Chris Gaines pretty frequently. And Gideon's always like, what are you talking about? Chris Gaines, I only know because my sister loves Garth Brooks.

Right, right. This is like her version of that, apparently, and of course it was all mixed up in the whole era of the feud with Kim Yeh and everything. So, yeah, so the theory is, many folks believe T-Swift's sixth album was supposed to be titled Karma with a K and was to be an edgy rock and roll type deal. So between, here's the evidence. And honestly, it's pretty fucking compelling. Between 2006 and 2014, T-Swift has released a new album every two years without fail.

However, in 2016, she, of course, became super fun to hate after her feud with Kim and Kanye, leading to Taylor going completely dark on social media and away from the public eye for a full year and then returns in 2017 with reputation and many of the tracks on there address that specific situation that went down in 2016. However, fans felt Swift was starting to transition into her new era.

So if you don't know, every album, there's a new era. She also kind of nods to this era with like a new haircut. It's very exciting. Sounds exhausting. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot.

She puts a lot of secrets, Easter eggs and stuff and clues and things for you to try to figure out what the new era is. So she started to seemingly transition into this new era at the end of her 1989 tour. She did have a new haircut, giving off kind of a rock aesthetic.

She was on the cover of Vogue where she had this like bleach blonde thing, this sort of like leather look. And she performed a rock version of We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with the Rolling Stones right around this time. and just kind of giving, you know, serving us some grunge-inspired looks, L-E-W-K-S.

Licks. Whoa. Right around this time. She was just kind of starting to nod towards, like, what she was transitioning to. But then all that shit went down. And, you know, and they didn't get the 2016 album, yada, yada, yada, yada. Now, at first I'm like, okay, that's still pretty vague. But this is the more compelling evidence actually exists in her music videos.

So in the video for Look at What You Made Me Do, you can see. see her sawing off the wings of a plane with TS6 written on it, leading fans to believe this is her admitting that she had to ground her sixth album because of all the drama. That's one thing, but the next thing, honestly, is the biggest piece of evidence. In one shot of the music video for The Man, you can see all her album titles graffitied on a wall,

along with one other words that fans noticed. Karma with a K. That is so weird because... Like Kim Kardashian? T-Swift is a master of the term I love to use to show my film acknowledge. Myzenstein. Okay. And people love how I pronounce it, by the way.

And please come hang out on our Gossip Girl Thursdays. I'm here everyone on our Patreon yell at Holden and how to be. Misenstein. In French, all right. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. We're having so much fun with this. Gossip Girl thing, by the way, so please consider it, check it out. It's so awesome. But anyways, yeah, I mean, she would not put a random word up there. Like, if she's got, I mean, that, she is

very, very specific when it comes across, like, imagery and stuff like that in music videos and stuff. It's all very handpicked. We're talking about the phrase karma with a K, because karma's always spelled with a K, right? But we're talking about the whole. Yeah, karma. K-A-R-M-A. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, am I just the idiot that thinks it's spelled, well, whatever. Yeah, it's not with a C, but that's why is it karma with a K. My clarifying question is, is the phrase karma with a K on the plane? I'm not an idiot.

I'm a dumb, stupid moron. Oh, you don't need to say that about yourself. I'm skeleton brunt. By the way, that's my new thing. Oh, you're a skeleton brunch. You refer to them as a skeleton brunch. I guess I'm just wondering why we're saying karma with a K because karma's always with a K. I don't know why I'm saying it.

It is always with the K. I don't know why I'm saying karma with it. Okay. I literally don't know why I'm saying that. It's just the word karma. Okay. In a Vogue video shoot titled 73 questions, she was asked,

what do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn? And she answered, that karma is real. And on top of that, in the subtitles of that, the K is capitalized. Okay.

Thus leading people to think that that actually is a nod to that missing album. Okay. believe that since T. Swift has been re-releasing all of her previous work with new songs, quote, from the vault, that she will, along with the re-release of 1989,

because apparently it's going to have the most from the vault tracks. People are speculating it's going to have 20 extra tracks from the vault. They're thinking that this is actually the album karma that's going to be released alongside that album. Oh. Okay. So, yeah, yeah.

Honestly, kind of compelling. because, like, I don't know why she would write the word karma on the wall. Like, it's those little touches. That has intention to it for her to do that. Yeah, there's always intention to stuff like that. Yeah. She never does stuff like that. Like, why would she just randomly write the word karma on there?

I mean, yeah, there's a reason she could write karma on the wall along with all of her albums, I guess. But, like, it just feels like that wouldn't just be as superfluous as that would sound unless it really might be this actual album, Karma with a cake. I also looked it up because I was like, why how is karma spelled? Because I was trying to figure out if it was like a Kim, Kanye Kaye. I thought it was a Kardashian thing.

I'm just having a brain fog. It's okay. Yeah, we're here for you, no judgment zone, but also it must be the new album. Yeah, I believe. Thank you, you believe. I believe. She's got all sorts of tricks up her sleeve.

I love a lost album. I think that's good. And I always love that it's always like a rock-inspired affair with all these secret albums, like weird throwaway albums. Like they tried to do like a alt thing and then they like shelved it, you know? And that was the case with Mariah Carey.

And the Lamley always knows what's real. Where, what are, are they just called Swifties? Yeah, Swifties. Okay, I just didn't know. I just love the Lamley. I think the, like Mariah's Lambs. is such a fun choice to refer to your fan base as. But we both believe.

Oh my God, look at us. We believe. Amazing. Karma with K. Go on. Now it's time for the list. Karma with a K. Oh!

Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. With an L. Outlandish things in movies, which are actually realistic. In Batman, 1966, Batman bringing out the shark repellate spray is one of the movie's silliest parts. But shark repellents are real. The U.S. military issued chemical shark chasers to service men for decades. It didn't work, but the thing did exist.

Very, very scary. So if you see a shark repellent, I mean, that was a long time ago. But I'm going to assume now maybe you also shouldn't use it. I can't believe we're talking about that movie. It is so silly. That is the movie we're talking about. And also talking about another silly movie, Armageddon. Yes.

Steve Bouchemey's character is duct taped to his seat after he loses control. And that is exactly what is to be done. NASA's written procedures for dealing with a psychotic astronaut includes binding them using duct tape and bungee cords. Wow. That's terrifying. Wow. Got to fight the gravity. In other ways you can fight gravity like an army of darkness.

This is nothing to do with gravity. Ash's medieval mechanical hand doesn't look less over the top than the chainsaw. But a 16th century knight had a hand just like that. Gats von Baklindja was fitted with an elaborate iron prosthesis, which allowed him to grip his sword. Ooh, is that his penis? His penis. Yes.

Or what about admission impossible? Oh, Fishfucker himself. That hanging from wires isn't exactly the preferred method to avoid triggering an alarm, is it? But thieves did exactly that

to rob a best buy in New Jersey. They weren't trying to hack into any computer, though, just to steal computers. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What about in the phantom menace,

Jajar Bink? much. So Amadala is a queen who was voted into office. Doesn't George Lucas know how monarchies work? Elective monarchies are his list. What is this list? The skeleton brunch entry on a list I've ever seen on. Why? Elected monarchies actually pretty common in history. I just laughed so much when I read through this, like, oh, didn't we know, Sweeney Todd, murdering people and baking them into meat pies.

Oh, you want to bring up job. Heartless monster. Italian Leonardo Ciancurioli was. Leonardo, however, didn't bake her pies with her victim's flesh, only with their blood. I thought you were talking about, I thought you were going to maybe bring up what's his name,

Albert Fish or whatever. Oh, no, we're talking about Italian and Leonardo Chon Tioly, and the flesh she used to make soap. Oh. Yikes. Very interesting. And last but not least, old James Bond, 007. Thunderball!

Oh, wow, I was just making Thunderball jokes on Twilight over on the Patreon because they were playing the game again, but from Edward's perspective, and I said, why are they calling it a baseball when they should call Thunderball? But I had no idea because I've never seen a James Bond movie where there's a whole James Bond movie called Thunderball. What? In this Thunderball, James Bond's jetpack is just another of the franchise's impossible gadgets. Right? No. That's a real working jetpack.

That's great. Developed by Bell Aerosystems for the U.S. Army, the Bell Rocket Belt was abandoned because of its underwhelming performance. Sounds a lot like James Bond himself, I bet. Dude, how underwhelming could it be if it can get me from one block to the next? That's good enough. I know. I know. Get me in the sky.

I want to be high, baby. And that's my list. Wow. Well, I'm high up in the sky, but I can't see any of the sites. I think I'm going. Blind. I don't.

Oh, God, we can't see them. All right. Here's this week's blind items with a B. The Oscars have asked the one TikTok star turned to actress that everyone knows to be a presenter that is not going to bring in a new audience, nor will they're Jin X hosts. Wait, Jen X hosts.

Oh, yeah, because Amy Schumer's doing it. But Wanda Sykes do it. I feel like that is, that's a weird. That's a weird one for sure. I don't know why they brought the host into it. Who is the only TikTok star? He's all that. You know. There you go. Addison Ray. What do you think about that?

Having Addison Ray is a part of the ceremony. I feel like they did the same thing when they were so upset when they were inviting TikTok stars and young pop stars to the White House. And they're like, how dare these young people think that they can get upon the stage and talk about the things that only the adults know about? Addison Ray is a very viable young person that is coming up. I'm not going to say that I know exactly what she does. But I think that, you know, why let her fucking do it?

Who gives? I think she was, you know, in a better movie might have helped. Right. That it wasn't just, you know, sort of. I think that's more offensive to me than the TikTok thing is that she's up there and the only movie she's done is the modern remake of she's all that. It was poorly made. people didn't like and also said she was bad.

It was poor. You know, it is. It's like this interesting thing to be like, I feel like in the past, there's certainly been movies and TV shows that adults didn't understand, but I feel like now we're in this new world where it's like, there's a whole media that adults don't understand. And there's going to be people watching the Oscars that are like literally who is that. And I guess that's always happened.

But like, to be like, I don't even, there should be adults watching the Oscars that are like, I don't even know what. platform this person is coming from. You know, it does feel like there's a real divide between, but it takes to the youth and the olds, but perhaps the olds always feel that way. Yeah, for sure. I, again, I'm more, I'm more,

it's more in the quality of the filmic experiences. And it was, myzen scene, like, haunts the stage. Yeah, yeah, that she's, there's not a lot of, it's just in terms of myzen scene, she's all that, I give it like a, 3.2 at best,

just in terms of the misnizene scene, score. Yeah, yeah. The Beckel dust. This, this is a kind one. This a happy one. This three named actress who feels like she should be foreign born,

even though she isn't, sold her front road ticket to a show at Paris Fashion Week to a thirsty artist for $5,000 euros in cash and then walked around outside and handed out money to homeless people and buskers and anyone she could find that she thought needed help. That's nice.

Three named. It should be foreign board. What isn't? What the fuck's that happening? She is on a very popular show that was on not too long ago that people really liked, revolving around a game that many might not think could be well dramatized into a show, but it was well dramatized. She does kind, I always felt like she does.

She's very beautiful, but also looks like a space alien at the same time. Jennifer Love Hewitt. No. Emma Stone. What show? What is she what? I'm thinking of three-named people. I'm trying to think of three-name people.

Play a wall ball or something? No, she's newer than that. She's hotter or newer than that. Hotter, newer than that. A show that you... Oh, okay, the fire show, the walking on fire. God, no. What?

Yeah. What is the walking on fire show? A lava. A floor is lava. I'm trying to think of a show... Oh, like a show... No, no, no. It's like a prestige TV show on Netflix

about a game that is a one-word game. The show is a two words. I'll do... Now we're doing charades. Is it Squid game? Okay. Is it, is it, what? The first word is a word we've said earlier talking about someone we thought should be dead.

The queen of England. Okay. Yeah. Okay, queen of England. Okay, that's the first. Queen's gambit. There you go. And it's that hot lady.

Everybody thinks is hot. Big alien eyes. Oh, my God. Oh, she's so hot. Oh, my God. You were giving such good hints. What the fuck is her name? Right.

I don't know if he's getting questions. I'm not looking it up. Ania, Taylor Joy. There you go. And so she gave money to homeless people in France. She gave, yeah. She was like, hey, you are. You know, she gave the ticket, and then she got the money.

And then she took the ride. Gideon loves her. He thinks she's so high. I think she's beautiful, but she's got like, it's like an uncanny valley. It's like she's too beautiful. Like, she doesn't seem real. like her eyes are so she's like a cartoon.

I mean, I like cartoon ladies. I haven't seen it yet and I've been meaning No, I really want to watch it. That's one of those on the list. It's like that, green night, all those kinds of movies I just have not seen. I need to watch really bad. But yeah.

She's great. I love Queen's Gambit and I'm excited for that show to come back. I think it's coming back, right? Last one, this was just a funny story that made me laugh. Just the name of the dress made me laugh. This A-list

dual threat actress had to wear a backup dress. She calls it a food dress. When she doesn't starve herself for days on end prior to an event, she wears the food dress. That's so sad. I don't like that at all. I thought it's called the food dress. Disordered eating normalized into a fun fact.

Just eat. She is dual threat because, I think she's considered dual threat because of a film that Jackie really loved when she was younger. Did she getz? She had arguably too much plastic. surgery and therefore arose her face into a bizarre kind of like she looks like she's

trapped in whatever Harrison Ford was trapped in Carbonite. It's not Madonna. I'm trying to think of what Nicole Kidman? Yes. Yeah. Wow. There you go. 100%. And we lost him to. Oh, was it you on Rouge? Oh, Holden, you know? Yeah. I know you so well. And that's where magic happens. They go to AMC. You're a skeleton. You're a skeleton. They're charging more for the Batman tickets and everybody's upset about it. But you know,

By the way, it says right here, apparently a TikTok star filmed themselves having brunch with Nicole Kidman. And it started a fake trinch. That's where we got to sky. Girl, have the food dress. Wear the food dress. Eat food. Please wear the food dress. It's so funny.

This is called a food dress. This lady is in her 50s. It's time to eat food, bitch. Like, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at society. That's fucked up, man. She does not have to be hot. Can we release her from being hot?

Yeah, seriously. Just go age. She's going to be hot regardless. I know. Yes, of course, she'll be hot regardless. But I mean, can we release her from being like, she has to be skinny and hot forever? Yeah, yeah. Like, what if you just are allowed to be in your fucking 50s?

And still, of course, you're going to be incredibly hot because you're Nicole Kidman. You got good genes. Speaking of freeing people, by the way, real quick, this just came out that Pamela Anderson, you know how I've been talking about how I don't want to see Pam and Tom. Right. because Pamela Anderson didn't sign off on the docu series. And so it's like just rehashing her bullshit all over again. She is coming out with a Netflix documentary with her son as one of the producers of the show to show.

It's dubbed the definitive documentary about Pamela Anderson. And it will be showing exclusive access to her actual footage that she is releasing. and can I just say Gofaha. Fuck yeah bitch. Sell that fucking story. Don't let them fucking take all of your

all of your divinity again. Yeah I said divinity. There you go. Also, this just in Kanye West just posted music video where he appears to as a claymation cartoon

Barry Pete Davidson alive. Are you mucking with me right now? Wait, really? Yeah, I've done messing with you. at all. Yeah, that's... Whoa. Wow. Wow, a lot of breaking news while we were recording.

Well, also breaking news, Marilyn Manson is suing Evan Rachel Woods, but we're not going to get down into the fucking... Wow. That right now. You create. Real skeleton brunch right now. We're talking about skeleton brunch.

Everyone's going to see. Everybody's going to see skeleton brunch. Marilyn Manson? Everyone's going to be like, oh, they knew. I hope for all of us that it becomes a thing. The funny thing is, like, how... Lexington's text on you, you tell her joy. This is what happens

where your wife is in the other room and you're doing blind items and you're giving a bunch of clues for a show we both loved. So funny. I will say Flores Lava is another game that nobody wanted to watch a show about.

I can't believe that. I'm saying that it ended up being great and it was a show that I was like, Flores Lava. That's so funny though that you're comparing Flores Lava with the TV show. I am comparing it to chess. Yes. Yep.

Yep. It is kind of a good guess when you think about it. And it's a Netflix show. That's just so funny how completely disparate those two things are outside of that. All right. Well, hey, we did it. I can see. Thank you guys so much for joining us.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Wormon. Also, please come and check out our hangs over on my Twitch. Twitch.tv. Oh, no, it's Jackie. We talk sex on Tuesday. We talk fucking daddies on Thursdays and Sundays. And it's a lot of fun.

But not this Sunday because I'm going to be watching the Batman's because I got tickets for it a couple of months ago. Uh-oh, am I a real hashtag nerd girl now? Yes. Nerd alert. Bumpin, Ayrith Gainsboard. Yeah, I brought up Peacemaker thinking I was just going to talk to Holden about it. And Jackie's over here like, I love peacemaker. You are a true nerd girl.

She even said equally. Yeah, I love equally. Holden McNeely is my name and streaming on Twitch is my favorite game. Welcome everybody to my promo. Oh, God, I thought in the beginning we wanted to be the end. I guess technically now is just beginning again. I am welcoming everyone to the part where I promote myself.

Twitch.tv.TV forward slash Holdenators ho. Check us out Monday, Tuesday, Friday streams. We've got a stream with Jackie every Friday, 6 p.m. Jackin with the Holies. Catch it, get it. Please check out that email we have because I need more celebrity conspiracies page. The number seven podcast at gmail.com.

And of course, patreon.com forward slash page seven podcasts. Definitely check that out. The Discord is banging. And these watchalongs are so much fun on Thursdays at 5 p.m. PST. I'm throwing different time zones at you, just seeing if you can catch it in the mix, skeleton brunch.

Peace, I'm out. MJ. My name is MJ and I'm MJKLKN on Instagram. Sorry you had to do it after the mic drop, but I think it's pretty great. Yeah, now you have to awkwardly pick the microphone up on the floor. And then I'll do your exit. Like, I'm so sorry. Everything's fine.

The microphone's still working. Thank you. I did the thing to where I like threw it and it hits your stomach and like bounced on the floor. You're just so like, it's just so awkward for you for no reason. bend down so I don't hurt my knees. We're so old. Thank you guys for joining us. One person coughs, you know,

that's dead silent. But now we got to the shout-out song. Shout, shout. Let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. Got to read it to you. Come out.

Thank you, thank you. Thank you guys for sending in your shout-outs to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. It always brings a smile to my face, and I love each and every one of you. And if I could, I'd kiss everybody on their little noses. But since I can't kiss everyone on their little noses with consent, I am here with your shoutouts. Now Lorraine wrote in such an adorable shoutout. Thank you so much, Lorraine.

Lorraine sent in a shoutout for my son Rory. Rory is a devoted listener and Patreon member of your illustrious podcast. And March 2nd, which is today, is his husband. birthday. I would love it if you gave him a big old happy 20th birthday from me and his stepdad, Chris. Rory, you are the perfect human. You've taught me to crack open my heart and let the good rush in. The worlds can seem dark sometimes, but the tiniest beams of light can penetrate through space in seconds, and so too can our love for each other. Thank you for being yourself and for trusting me on your transitioning journey. I will honor you and fight for you.

you and always hold space for you and all of my LGBTQ plus children. I love you, son. Hail Sagan. Yes, Carl Sagan. And hail, Rory, you are made of star stuff. Oh my God, Lorraine, can you, I'd love to share parenthood with you. I want to be a parent alongside you. And I love how you said that. And I'd like it for you to be one of my parents as well, not to replace my parents. But can I just say, what a beautiful shout out. Happy birthday, Rory. I hope it was amazing. And I also want to give a shout-out to, and thank you guys so much again, to the beautiful Abby who wrote in an amazing self-shout out.

Thank you. Thank you so much for writing yourself shout-out in. Abby says, the first week of March has become kind of a big deal to me. Around this time last year, my life changed completely. Over the course of two months, my mental, emotional, and physical well-being was overwhelmed by a period of domestic abuse. Ever since I've been dealing with the aftermath of getting myself to a safe place, shout out to my parents and friends,

and you guys were being by my side through it all. But despite the shit show that was 2021, I bounced back. In August, I was accepted into a World Heritage Studies master's program in Germany, and I've been living in a little town outside of Berlin since September, chasing my dreams. It was far from easy, especially when my brain had been, completely rewired last spring, and my access to my own emotions has been limited or non-existent. In November, I turned 25, and not only was it special, because only a few months before,

I didn't know if I would survive to see the day. But I also got to celebrate it with the new and wonderful friends I've made here in Katpahs. As of two nights ago, I felt pure unadulterated emotions for the first time in a year, and I cannot express how wonderful it was to feel such raw joy again. Now more than ever, I know that I'm going to be okay. Abby, my God, thank you so incredibly much for your beautiful words, and I wish you all the fucking best. And thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish you only the best.

Oh, all of my love goes to you, and I'm kissing you on your little nose right now. Congratulations. Fuck yeah, take control of your life. And now, John, you just want to hear me in my Snape accent. I hear, yo, yo, yo, just wanted to apologize for my appalling, bang. of taking this long to get my ass into gear to sort out my Patreon donation. John, you stop. I'm probably not going to do the rest of an English accent

because I think that people's ears would start bleeding. John says I'm just as busy as everyone else, and with two young girls, I don't get a lot of spare time. You guys help me through some hard mornings as I'm waking up early as fuck to get an hour or so to study, AI algorithms, stats calculus, and a whole load of new programming languages, which is hard as shit when it's 5 a.m.,

I can only imagine so I can get a better job. Do cooler stuff and give more money to you guys. You stop, John. I don't deserve a self-shadow. I don't like that talk. You do, John, and I love you. But it's cool to think one of you might read this and hear about the different kind of lives you're reaching out to. It brings a tear to my eye how much you all care about people and their struggles.

And I literally never cry. So that doesn't count. It does count. And I love you, John. Thank you so much for your kind words and for sending in a shout-out to yourself. because you do fucking deserve it. And you do too, Melanie. Melanie says I've been an LPN listener

obsessively since 2017, but I specifically am writing into page 7 to shout myself out because I deserve it, damn it. Hell yeah, you do. I earned a BFA in photography with a minor in business. However, the only business I'm involved in is everyone on LPNs,

along with a few other favoureds of mine. I'm now somehow juggling two service industry jobs and kick an ass with them, fuck yeah, while also being a sort of of step-parent to my partner's seven-year-old son, who I love dearly. Amongst all the chaos that is my life, I make time for page seven in pop history specifically to alleviate the day-to-day stresses I face. I cry a lot, and which I am able to relate to Jackie about, thank you, love you,

and Holden makes me laugh like no other. I also have such a strong appreciation for MJ, with whom I share strong sentiments about shittily-themed restaurants, and I so deeply appreciate their inquisitive humor in general. It's always made me feel so happy to hear him out how much others connect with all three of you via shoutouts. And I'm finally taking the initiative of doing a self-shout because fuck yeah, I love you guys. And we love you too, Melanie. I'm just doing the best I fucking can. And I feel like that's the soul of what brings us all together via these shoutouts. So go you, go me, and go everyone that's listening. And anyone who disagrees can be sent straight into whatever jail. Blissfully, Melanie, thank you so much, Melanie, again for the kind words. And you guys,

this just makes my day. And I'm so happy to be able to reach out to y'all in different ways and learn more about you because I want to learn more about you. It's so it's fascinating to learn what a beautiful community that we have here together and that we can reach out to each other whenever we want to. And last but at least, I want to send some love to McKinley. McKinley wrote in a huge shout out to their boo-thang Joe. McKinley says, We've been together for five years. We met working in a residential treatment center for children, and now we live in our town home with our adorable cat pickles. I love the name cat. I love the name cat. I love the name pickles for a cat. I'm also moving into a town home. Oh my God, McKinley. It's like we're the same.

McKinley says I introduced him to the last podcast. He fell in love and introduced me to page seven, and now we're both obsessed. Joe was the biggest support to me while I was in grad school, always making me laugh and encouraging me through the many breakdowns of grad school, MJ knows. now I want to give him as much support as I can as he has so many big projects he's working on. Joe is an amazing artist and has some really beautiful comic books that he has written and illustrated. Right now he's working on a project about resolving differences, finding common ground, and bullying. It's also a great way to get children invested in reading, literacy, and exploring their imagination. The Kickstarter just went live.

Check it out here. The Adventures of the Enigma. Look up The Adventures of the Enigma. The Enigma, and not only Joe is an amazing artist, but him and his good friend Christian have been working tremendously hard on a new podcast that drops next week on March 6th called Heretic Party. It's a podcast for folks who have left the church or religion. Fuck yeah. It's the building of the post-religious community. Living through and living beyond religion. It's also super funny.

That sounds sick of shit. Look up Joe. Look up the podcast. Heretic Party. It drops on March 6th. but also look up the Adventures of the Enigma, which looks cool as fuck. What a smart, brilliant idea, Joe to put a graphic novel out about bullying. I'm so excited for you and for your adventure.

And please look it up, the Adventures of the Enigma. And also, you can check out all of Joe's work on Instagram at Joe Blablazo. That's J-O-E-B-L-A-B-L-A-Z-O. Oh, that's good. J-O-E-B-L-A-B-L-A-Z-O. Huge shout-out to Joe. I'm so proud of all of your hard work. I love you, Him Chuli, to the Mountain Tops.

And I love you, too, Joe, and I love all of you guys. Thank you so much for always writing and being just overall amazing. Thank you for making such a beautiful community with all of us together. Thank you for your shout-outs. You can send in your shout-outs to page 7 podcast at g-mail.com, and I can't wait to hear from you. And if you want to talk to me in a more intimate level, come check out my Twitch. Come over, Twitch.tv. Forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie.

You ain't got to download nothing. You just got to show up and we talk. And the community is unbelievable. Love you guys so much. I'll talk to you next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

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