Page 7 - Ep. 446: Bugs Bugs Take A Chug

Episode Date: April 28, 2022

This week were gossin' 'bout bachelor/bachelorette parties in your 30's, phones at concerts, April Reals Day, A millipede named after Taylor Swift, Coachella, the Heard and Depp Trial, the Wachowski's auctioning items for transgender youths via Ariana Grande, and in celeb conspiracy corner; Is Billie Eilish literally the devil!? Wedding Bells ring for our list! The Blindddds and SHOUTOUTTTTZ! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Have you been dying to see us live? Then get psyched about the last podcast network, Country Jamboree, at the Rhyman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee on June 18th. Jackie, we're not at the Country Bear Jamboree, but I am grinning like a possum, eating a sweet tater. Because we'll have all your favorite LPN family out and performing live, including last podcasts on the left, page seven,

Wizard and the Bruiser, No Dogs in Space, Brider Side, fraudsters, someplace underneath, the story must be told, and more. Tickets available now. Again, that's the Rhyman Auditorium on June 18th in Nashville, Tennessee. The last podcast network, Country Jamboree! Sorry, Jackie's sick, so it's my intro now. Oh, no. And this one from Machine Gun Kelly is called Drunk Faze. I'm still young, wasting my youth. I'll grow up next summer.

I'm back on those drugs I quit. I kept my dealer's number. I'm still young. Wasteing my youth. I'll grow up next summer. I'm back on that girl I quit. I should have lost her number. I want to listen to it.

I swallowed a pill that was in a heartache. Just what I want. Her hands in my chest, she's in my heartbeat. He is still young. She'd get attached and then. trap me. I gotta act like I'm happy. Should I have been singing kiss by rose?

To get happy. DiJavu, it's like just last week. I'm still young. I just want everyone to know Holden told us he was going to sing his by Rose. And then he's saying Machine Gun, Kelly. And you know what? No, no.

I said I was going to alienate our viewers and sing fucking. I believe I could fly just to make everyone very upset. Oh, that's right. Of course, I'm not a bad guy. And I think that man, I'm so glad that man is canceled. Yes. No, yuck in a fucking half. Machine Gun, Kelly.

Not canceled. Just, just make it in weird. Making it so weird. Every day, weirder and weirder. I know. That was so bad. I will say I saw one little red carpet thing recently where he tries to like give a smooch

to Megan Fox on the red carpet and she definitely nopes him out of it. So like they were probably fighting. So I hope they're doing okay. You know. Is there like this weirdly somehow became the couple I like am behind? Yeah, me too.

I'm really rooting for them. I never would have thought that in a million. million years that Megan Fox and Magina Kelly would be like my power couple that I support. I do think that, but what do you think about their blood drinking ritual that I love that all that shit? I love how ridiculous their wedding apparently sounds like it's going to be. I wish I would love to have a wedding like this. I mean, as someone that is planning a wedding, which couldn't be any more opposite from

the wedding that they are probably planning. Actually, not that opposite. I'm just a lot, how you say poorer. of this. And honestly, another part that I like about him, because I'm sure there's people right now, like rolling their eyes like crazy at me, I like that kind of like T Swift in the past,

like, it's so divisive. People like hate his guts at such a visceral level. You love him or you hate them. You really do. Yeah, you hate and love each of them as individuals and then you have even stronger love only or hate only for them as a couple. Because I stand them as a couple.

I don't know if I have, really any feelings either way because I've not looked into Machine Gun Kelly because I know a lot of people hate Machine Gun Kelly and I've never really looked into it. Well, he tried to beef with one of the greatest, you know, with Eminem and, and you know, it was a bit, it was a bit goofy. And I

will say, I wish I liked his newer album more, but I feel like he should have, like, taken a longer break from the pop punk thing. You think it's the blood rituals that are doing it? Maybe, yeah, I mean. He needs more blood in the rituals? Maybe he needs more blood in the rituals or something, or yeah, what is it called? What's the T-Swift soundtrack movie?

I cry because my scarf is gone. No, the movie that she did the soundtrack song for, the... Cats? Oil in the water or whatever the fuck is. Oh, craw dads in the pop. Yeah, maybe she needs more crawdads in the blood drink. That's what they're missing. Sorry, guys.

We're still reeling in the reels, guys. We're really getting the reels. We had Ed Larson of Brighter Side and of Murder. We had his bachelor party this weekend, which is why I am thrashed. And we also had April Reels Day. We are too old for these things. All the emotions and then all of the Alice Cooper and then a party bus. It was just, you know, the last time I did a party bus wasn't for my 30th birthday.

And I think that's the oldest you could be on a party bus. You know what I mean? I would, I love Eddie. I saw these pictures. There was part of me that was like, oh, I wish I lived in L.A. and I was there. And then I saw the pictures of the party bus, and I thought, I would just be vomiting so much.

I would hate every single second of it. I would be drinking. Like, it's already hard enough to drink to the point that you need to be to have fun at a bachelor party. Like, at this age, right? It's like, you drink that much, and then you just are like, oh, no, I just don't feel good. Like, I just have a headache and it's hard.

And then you put me on a bus. Oh, man. And the lights and the sound. Honestly, it does pop you up, though. It went back and forth between, it really does the party bus, at least for me now. I go, I constantly ping pong back and forth between like having the best time ever

and feeling completely sick and needing to get out of there. Sit down. The funniest, too, was at the end. So I had to leave a little early. After the Alice Cooper concert, we took the party bus back to this tiki bar. We're hanging out. But I wasn't hanging.

I was like, I got to roll, have a good one. Oh, you should have. I drank six pitch. Pain killers. Hold it. I can't believe you went home to your wife and your child. After an Alice Cooper concert

that was like not the first thing. Like they're just keep, you're talking about this party and you guys just keep naming events. It just kept going. Well, yeah, it started as a pool party. It started at 3. And that was like not the end.

I left early. Yeah, that's ambitious. And Eddie is older than we are. I mean, he's all in him anyway. Yeah, he killed it. Yeah, it was great. Honestly, I'm glad he forced me to party because it was fun to do, and I need to be forced to party.

But then that's the problem is that, unfortunately. While we're on, the party buzz people are like, Jackie, what are you going to do for your bachelor's party? And I was like, I just feel like, Bachelor and Bachelorette parties in your 30s are very different than Bachelor or Bachelorette parties in your 20s. I was just like, after, I was in the middle of a bachelor party, and I was like, I think I want to sit for my Bachelorette party.

Let's sit down and watch a movie. Sit down. By myself. By myself. So at the end of the night, or not the end of the night, I was like, well, I got to go home. And Ed was just like, hey, hey, you want to take the party bus time? So you don't have to Uber. I was like, yeah, I get, you know, I'm not going to pass up for your.

You're kidding. Hey, man. This guy lives like 15 minutes away. You mind taking him? And so I have this picture I'll post up. Yeah, Ed posted earlier. Yeah. So I've just sat alone in a party bus and drank a beer to go home.

You took the party bus home for a ride. That's by yourself. Yeah. That's awesome. I didn't, I had, and just to make it extra, like, life, I had no music playing, but all the lights were on. So it was just, like, the weirdest feeling ever. It made no sense.

But it was very nice to get it. Oh, that was fantastic. I did not swipe through all of the pictures to get that far to be. Yeah, I'm at the very, and it's just me alone on the party. That was the problem. I also took a bunch of, I don't know why. Why do you ever take, unless it is a very specific song, why did I take 30 videos at the Alice Cooper concert?

Not 30. I just kept taking little videos because I didn't want to have my phone up in the way of people. But then I'm like, what am I going to do with all these? Yes, it was Alice Cooper. Yes, Alice Cooper is probably not going to be around much longer. So it is great to see Alice Cooper. And like when a huge, like, dead baby comes on stage and things like that, that's when you, you know, you take a little pick. But it never looks good.

Meanwhile, we're behind a bunch of old people that were shooting the indebted. the entire concert on their phone. Dude, it befuddles me. I mean, this is such a played out thing to complain about, but it still bugs me, and I agree with you, Jaggie. It's just like, guys, why? Especially like Alice Coe.

I mean, yeah, it's a very visual show, but like I kind of expect it more like a big pop show. Olivia Rodriguez, fucking Billy. Of course, there's gonna be a million people that cameras up the whole time. It's annoying, but whatever. But it's like, especially at this old rocker show

what are we doing here? Let's just sit, let's just enjoy the experience. I mean, I think the question is, are you going to re-watch the videos that you take at the Alice Cooper concert? And I think the answer is no. No! Answer's never!

Would you rather just have a... I almost never take videos at concerts, and sometimes I take pictures, but like, usually my question to myself is like, would I rather look back at this concert and, like, remember the feeling of immersing myself in the music and the experience, or would I rather, like,

have a video that is going to look like shit and sound like shit. And usually the answer is the first. I'm sure that there's exceptions to this and I've taken videos at concerts that I will know that I will never find again and never watch. But like, I feel like that's, you just got to tell yourself like, Jackie, are you going to go home and like lie in bed and rewatch the videos of the Alice Cooper concert? If you are, then do it. The ones I do keep is that I've started in a lot of the videos that I did take were of

my friends hanging out and singing along. That's good. Because those are the videos that I keep because there is the Shania Twain concert when we all met Eddie's going to be bride that I talked about in here what? 10 years ago. I remember

that. I was jealous. I never thought I would be jealous of going to a Shania Twain concert and you talked about it like it was the most fun night of your fucking life. And I still have the videos of like it was the night we met who was now someone who was a very good friend of mine. and Ed wasn't with her.

He sent her to the Shania Twain concert with all of us, and it's when we all became really great friends. So it's great to have those videos of the night. But no, I'm not watching, like, Shania Twain, although, oh, in the, like, all tight, full body suit, like leopard print bodysuit right above me singing. I do have some of those videos. But still, Alice Cooper was fine.

But more importantly, Holden, April Real's Day, because you were trying to shift us into talking about April Real State. I was, even though this is a perfect segue into Coachella, but we'll talk about that after taking videos at concerts. Oh, yeah, Coachella ain't going to well. For sure. I will say the one example is, like, I totally more so understand. I think I would just wish everybody had to, mandatory.

If you're going to film in a concert, you get one. You get, like, one song or like one moment that you are allowed to film, and the phone has to go away. That's why they're taking phones away now, which I kind of understand. It would kind of suck to be performing. and look out it just a sea of phones, not for nothing, right? It's like love, but it's also like annoying, yeah. But I also understand when, like, you know, Lizzo comes out during the Harry style.

Like, of course the fucking phones are coming out. You have to. You have to. And it's, if Alice Cooper was like, you know, I don't know, Reggie Rock and Roll. I don't know what fuckface is. Oh, I love Reggie Rock and Roll. Reggie Rock and Roll.

Oh, I love him to. Everybody. Get that. Oh, Reggie Rock and Roll. And he plays his hit song, rocking on a Thursday. Rocking on a Thursday. It's the day before the weekend. Eventually starts.

Rocking on a Thursday. And breaking your heart. Oh, my God. Are you Reggie Rock and Roll? Is that your old thing to go? By the way, I am actually Reggie Rock and Roll. I was trying to talk about my own music. Wow.

You should have told us the Holden McNeely singer's songwriter, but also Reggie Rock and Roll. Surprise third act in the Alice Cooper. Wow. I can't believe he's here. I wish he'd leave. Some people say in the audience. But yes, April Reels Day happened. Way more emotional than I thought it would be this year for me.

I was like, oh, I've got a couple, I think, solid reels. I don't think they're too heavy, you know. And then I get there and Jaggy's just like, I just got off a plane and I'm emotional. And I was like, oh boy, you know what I mean? And I just feel like your feelings just immolate, like they just, they just punctured me. Because even like my real for MJ, even looking back, I'm like, I don't think it's like that.

But I was immediately just like, MJ, I just, I do not mind. In fact, I love when people hit me up, you know, it's so awesome that you cry and on streams and stuff. We love a man who cries. You know, yeah, exactly. We love a man who cries.

And I love it. I'm trying, honestly, in the back of my head, I'm trying to promote men being more comfortable with their emotions. I was tortured by being, feeling like I was unable to show any emotions, even in a dark fucking movie theater, all through my childhood, young adulthood, you know.

Oh, that whole phase, just remember, pretty much the whole time where every time a picture was taken of you, you felt like you couldn't smile. Yeah. Just that whole part of your life, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

I just sit there and be like, I'm a thug dude who, goes to a private school in Charlotte, North Carolina? I think that... What am I trying to be? I think that masculinity hit you hard. Like, I don't think that... Obviously, being a teen girl sucks in different ways, but being an adolescent boy...

Oh, yeah. Real present. Especially when your older brother's, like, amazing at every sport and, like, everybody's just, you know, and I'm like, I like, the land of pretend. You know what I mean? It's just like, no one's with you on that. And then also being like, but I'm not gay. You know what I mean?

They're just like, what do we do with you? You don't get, you're not allowed to be at any group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So you've got to be, so every time a picture gets taken, I'm having a good time of the pool part. Oh, everybody, thug up. You know, like, I'm in jail right now for the picture.

Like I'm in prison. It's so ridiculous. Anyways, and that still is a bit. Yeah, so that was when I became Reggie Rock and Rochroll. That's why I became the old man rock and roll musician man. I started putting on the prosthetics and stuff. It's the day before most people like to party. Gotta get it started early

because we gotta drink it, bra. I want to record you singing this and then we can play it for our Jersey Shores over on the Discord. Yes, because we do rock on a Thursday here at Page 7. Yeah, yeah, we do rock on a Thursday while we do the watch along. I guess we should clarify the watch along.

Patreon.com, ford slash page 7 podcast, the $10 layer. You can join us every Thursday while we're watching through Jersey Shore over on Discord. It's been so great because part of a dude, I think that we should, MJ, I got to ask, how was your first April Reels experience? You must have been nervous coming into it. How did you feel about it?

I was extremely nervous coming into it because April Reels is a very, God, my poor therapist, I was just like trying to explain it to them, but I was also like laughing too hard. Like I was like, okay, I have this really serious thing. And then I would start to explain it and I would start laughing. thing. Like, I was like, yeah. And then there's a hand slapper that you have to slap, but I don't remember the exact ritual around the slapping. And they were like, and like, they're, they're pretty serious. And they were just like, uh-huh, okay. And what's coming up for you? Like, they totally, like, they absolutely like straight manned it to help me, like, to be like, okay, I guess this is

important. We will dedicate an entire session to this. Um, so I was very nervous. And yeah, you know, I, like many of us, don't come from a lifestyle of being direct and open and honest with my feelings. And even with my, I have very close, wonderful friends who I would die for and who would die for me. But it's still just not like, it's not like we, even with your closest friends, you don't regularly check in to be like, this is what I'm really, really, really feeling. Like, usually you do that if you're at a time of crisis, you know? Yes. So people keep asking like, is Henry going to do it? I was like, no.

Is Eddie going to do it? No, no. Like it's a very specific person in your life that you can in front of people be like, hey, this is a problem that I feel that we have been having together. Yeah. And it's very vulnerable. And I apologize, Hold on that I intoxicated you with my emotion. Yeah, you contaminated him with your emotions.

I guess. I wonder if, like, you weren't, like, kind of in this more vulnerable state if I would have been as emotional. I don't mind it. I thought it felt really good, actually. I feel like I needed to get some stuff out, you know? So I was definitely had, I think, more, maybe more reservations about this year's reels than normal. But I just think that's because more so this has been, like, my biggest, from real to real, that time span has been my biggest year of growth. Yeah.

So, like, and especially because I have been doing, like, therapy for my. myself and couples therapy stuff. I was made the joke like in couples charity, I feel like I do April Reels every other week now where I have to sit down and be like, this is what's up. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's, you know, I hate your fucking wife.

No, no, no. Oh. No, not at all, the opposite. But still, like, having to sit down and open myself up to some hard truths about the way I am and stuff like that. So, you know, in a way I was more prepared in that sense, but also, like, if there has been

a year that I felt more anxious, never more anxious, anxiety in my entire life and tapping into like where that comes from and what that is, you know, with the baby and everything especially, but just in general. And then just like working on myself harder than I've ever actually worked on myself before. Definitely kind of going into this. I'm like, well, I'm used to it more than I have been, but also like, woo, all right, here we go. You know what I mean? Like, well, and it feels, it just feels so like, it's, it makes sense that this isn't how we talk to each other every day because it would be exhausting, but it's like how after you go to, you know, a wedding and, you know, or you listen to people give really good vows or you listen to somebody give a

really great speech about their best friend and, like, and you just feel like, oh, God, I wish we like talked to each other about how we felt more often, you know, like, or even, you know, you guys, I keep my emotions in a, in a cage except for with, you know, but my husband, basically. Yeah, you're even more, you're a lot more, uh, kind of tight, tight lifts. Yeah, like I need to cry. I do cry a lot, but I don't cry in front of other people. Almost not. Even you guys have seen me at my worst.

And even with you guys have, yeah, I've cried like once or twice. One time. And like, and so, but it's, you know, after April Reels, I just felt like it is so nice to have a dedicated holiday that we invented. A moment to be like, this is about genuine honesty and connection because even when you have wonderful friends who you feel lucky to. have as friends every time you're with them. You still don't. It's just not how we live our lives. And again, probably for the best. But it's like, I want like a quarterly

emotional day where you just like bear your soul, you know, four times a year. Yeah. It'd be nice. I think it would help everybody, especially when you approach it the way we approach it. And I think you could at least say like, it's almost like a compliment sandwich how we approach it. It's like a or it's like one of those cookies kind of covered in cream.

Like the truth is like the cookie. But we have this like love. covering this like friendly love place covering on top of the cookie. Yeah, yeah. But it's just enough. And that's, it's just enough to kind of make it go down and be delicious and be helpful and good for you.

I mean, cookies are good for you, but you know what you mean? I mean, we could all get a little, yeah, we could get a couple LPs. It's got fucking call the cops on us, but regardless, you know, I think that that is the thing I try to push. The one thing I think is so inspiring is when people like,

I did April Reels this year with my friend. Yeah, that's nice. And I love hearing that and like seeing people say that. And at the same time, I'm so afraid that it will be like not handled in a love way. So I trust you guys are doing it right. But I just, I'm always like wanting to push like, hey, this isn't just about the criticism. Like you, in fact, what I said out loud was like, and I mean, this is the honest truth. Or maybe I said this on the stream or not.

I said, no, I said it to Jackie. I was like, every one of my reels at first in the initial inception of them were like way harsher than. what they were when I said them out loud. And then I figured out how to frame them in a way that was like with compassion and care and love and even in a positive way. Like, I'm upset about this because I love you so much and I want you, like, I want this for us.

Right. You know what I mean? And I think that's a way more powerful, impactful. I just love how fucking seriously we goddamn take this thing now. It was a stupid joke I made. This is what happens. Yes. It was literally just a riff that now has turned into an annual holiday that I had to explain to my therapist.

It's Christmas, yeah. It is more important than like Thanksgiving for me now. Well, that's not. Did Thanksgiving get you to quit smoking cigarettes, Jackie? I don't think it did. No, it didn't get me to quit smoking cigarettes. You're right. It is the most important holiday.

Now, we have our things that we need to work on, and I am proud of us for doing it. and thank you guys so much for joining us on April Reels Day when we did it, and we're gonna post it up on the Patreon. Yes, I will work on that. I'm playing some catch-up over here, but I will, A, export it to YouTube, so you can see it there, and then we'll get it uploaded to Patreon as well. Yes, and it will live in infamy,

and you can go watch us cry whenever you want, because we cried a lot. Next year, I will be in a different space than my awake screaming children. That will help me be more emotionally. What is stressful reels for you? Yeah. My God.

What is stressful? Next year I'll leave the house. I will say that do you think that the entomologist that named a millipede after Taylor Swift, do you think that they said

they told her this news as courteously as we gave each other our April Reels? So we're going to do this before Coachella. I want to talk about Taylor Swift.

We're having a millipede. Taylor Swift, the Millipede. Nope, not talking about the Depp and her trial yet. No, I'm not talking about Coachella. No, we're talking about the Millipede that was named after Taylor Swift because the entomologist that found it was like, this makes me think of Taylor Swift. And I know, he said it was because, no, Jackie, that is rude. It is because he said that Taylor Swift has gotten him through a lot of hard times.

Yeah. It has brought him a lot of joy during some real struggles. That was so nice because I just imagine this little bug scientist, like alone in a lab doing the very stressful hard work of studying bugs, but like listening to the red album or whatever it's called, you know. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Taylor Swift's Red. Yeah, I think that, you know what, I just, I just can't imagine the look at her face of her and be like, wow, thank you.

To be fair, one of the from the vault tracks that she put out was Bugs, Bugs, Take a Chub. which is talking about drinking cups filled with bugs. Bugs, Bugs take a chug, parentheses, Taylor's version. I also would be fine with a bugs, bugs, take a chug, but I feel like that means out of the cup of bugs, right? Bugs, take a chug.

Is there any more you get anything else out of them? No, I think we can talk about Coachella, I'll hold it. All right, let's get into it. I need to see the performances, but it looks awesome. Are we ever going to go, Jack? Should we go sometime? No. No, no want to do it.

Are you over day festivals? I think that I could do Coachella if there was a, if we went, rolled in with like an RV. Yeah. I've just done so many festivals in tents where I'm dirty and I do drugs for five days. But I thought it was just one day. I thought that was the cool thing about Coachella is it's like one day and you just go and then you leave. No, I think it's two weekends. Is it?

Two full weekends. I'm pretty sure this is what I would do. I would get a day. and I would go for a day. That's probably... Yeah, sure. Then, you know, it's just the, like... And then I'd get out.

I'd drive to a hotel. Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree. And in RV, that's the only way I did Bonaroo when I did it, and it was like,

I know it's so... And I know there's so many people like, whatever. I'm one with the land. I go to rainbow gatherings and burning... I think that's awesome, man. That's great for you. I'm happy for that.

You do. Fuck that for me. And I've done that. And I've done that. I've lived that life, and it's so much fun. I just like, if I'm going to take time off

like I need to be relaxing and not just like waking up just be like oh oh oh what have I done even though you get to see like I miss those festivals because that's where you get to like you're in the middle of it so I would do Coachella if we could do it up and there were

some amazing amazing concerts throughout Coachella and what's awesome now is that they live stream so much of it you do you don't get the same obviously it's not the same. But you get to experience a good amount of it. Like I watch a lot of the Harry Stiles Coachella performance. And then when Lizzo comes out, I mean, it's, it's, it's, you,

it does make you want to be there because it makes you want to feel that electricity that's in the audience. Homecoming was from the Coachella, right? Yes. Yeah. That, that, that, that, that, nothing made me want to go to Coachella until I saw a homecoming. Yeah. That was just in the Coach like, how crazy is that? Can you imagine just being like, oh, this is happening? Okay. Oh, I just saw like eight amazing acts and then this. Yes. Yes. That would be crazy. And I love that. Nothing is more magical to me than like walking from a stage with an artist I love on it, hearing that music fade out, and then another artist music fade in that I love. Like, for me, that was Decemberus into Wilco and then back into white stripes. It was like so surreal.

Yeah, that's a nice feeling. How is this all happening at once? This is crazy, you know? Or hearing like the police literally, playing live from another stage while I'm waiting for Flaming Lips that we get it. It's like just so wild. And I also like artists of color as well. I just want to say I don't just like the whitest fans ever, but I just want to throw that. Every one of those is like, wow.

You want to talk about Timothy Shalamea Coachella as well if you want to talk about even whiter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Timothy loves Coachella in case anybody was wondering. He is there and he wears a baseball hat. I was going to say, does he got a cute outfit? Let me look him up. He's got lots of cute fits.

There's lots of great fits. Harry Styles fits. Unbelievable. I would do anything for Harry Styles. I loved the clip of Normani and Doja Cat watching Megan the Stallion because Megan the Stallions. Oh my God, I'm in love with her. I'm in love with her. I've been completely in love with Megan the Stallion.

And I just want her. I mean, she's amazing. Timothy Chalemay is like this guy who like, when he is dressed up for an award show and everybody says he looks like such an asshole, that's what I think that I don't think I want to kiss him, but I want to, that's like he's like my like, androgynous gender goals. And then when I see him just looking like a normal person, I'm like, fuck that guy. Like, I don't know why this look at Coachella. I feel nothing except like maybe slight negative feelings. And then when he look, when everyone else feels negatively about his like deep V white tuxes, I'm like, I like you, Timothy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I will say also check out Espa's performance. It's in this, the top, some of the top performances, the list that I sent you. Espa's performance is unbelievable. I didn't know anything about Espa. That's another great thing about Coachella is learning about, you know, the youths, the ids are listening. Yeah, it's almost better. And like the actual show is when you're just, if you're going, is when you're just like looking at the lineup and just going through all the albums on like Spotify or whatever and discovering all these new acts. Oh, I'm going to totally go see them.

Like, this is great. And like, I had no idea these people existed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was just awesome. And I just want to see. And again, check out Lizzo.

Oh, my God, MJ. Watch Lizzo's watch out for the big girls. It's on Amazon Prime. And it is Lizzo casting. It's a reality show where she. She casts her backup dancers. I talked about it over on talking TV. And it's, oh my God, MJ, you're going to love it.

Oh, holy shit. All right, what's it called? Watch out for the big girls. Lizzo's watch out for the big girls. Girls, G-R-R-L-S. It's on Amazon Prime. I just, I want to be in the big girls so bad. And so I just keep catching myself, like, watching it and being like, I can do that.

Then I just, like, pause it. And I'm dancing by myself in the living room. And I can't do what these very downs. talented people can do. Oh my God. I'm absolutely like, I'm glad that I'm not the only, it's like such a not alien,

the opposite of alienating feeling to be like, I'm not the only one who just watches backup dancers and just fantasizes about what it would be like to be a backup dancer. And the big girls. And they're all just like women of all sizes and just people of all sizes and just being themselves. Oh, God.

It's unbelievable. Now I want to, also I'm like thinking about, like I also am obsessed with all the, backup, like, not only the backup dancers, but, like, the backup, like, instrumentalists, you know, like, I love a backup horn section, you know, all that shit that's fun at a, you know, at a big festival like that when they're like, we have the big guns, we've got the fucking choir, we've got the orchestra, you know, we've got the, the, the straits. Oh, don't even get me started on a cellist. Once I see a cellist come out, I'm like, yeah,

yeah, yeah, it's about to get horny. Good God. I'm sorry, it's because I'm reading Court of Miss and Fury. It's not my of the hornyest woman in the world, a court of mist and fury. I know. The stamp book. I had to record with Jackie earlier today when she was all hot and bothered.

I texted Jackie. I was like, great. Now Lexi needs me to read this book to, quote, get some ideas from the fairy lord at the nightcare court. He's the high lord of the night court. You'd say it right. Hold on.

You're underselling your text, which as Jackie told it to me was that you texted her. Now I have to read this fairy fuck book which I laughed out for 20 minutes. It's unbelievable. Nothing against that. You know, to each the road.

I just, you know, I've got some other stuff going on in the can. You know, I'm reading that chainsawman manga. Shout us to Chainsawman. Man, I just found out. I have a wing kink, and I had no idea. And I'm not talking about chicken wings. I didn't know that in this book, these books, they're wings. They're big.

Ooh, they're big, scary wings. If you touch them and he starts to shudder. And he's just like, because it's like, it's a very vulnerable. It's like, oh, it's like touching something that you shouldn't touch. Right, right. They're wings.

Don't touch the wings. The fairy fuckbook description is this, we're going, we're going, I've had a lot of minutes logged today of listening to Jackie describe the fairy fuck book. And I got to say, it's not doing it for me just yet. It's not doing it for it. Yeah, it's definitely, yeah.

And I'm all, I'm sitting here off to the side shake of my head. And I've got, she's, you know, I'm trying to read my chainsaw man in bed and I look, everyone likes, he's like quivering or whatever. I can't handle this, all right? And I'm just like, I'm sexually frozen. April Reels callback. April Reels callback. Nothing to unfreeze you like a long novel about fairies having slow foreplay. It's so much more than that.

There's a war coming, MJ. You don't even understand. A lot of slow foreplay is what I'm hearing about. Yeah. More like bore play. No, you're not right. It's not hoaring at all. It is titillating, damn it.

You know, it's not titling. You gotta just talk about how we're not, about why we're not gonna talk about the herd Depp trial. We gotta, we gotta talk about this real quick. I just have to, I just wanna say, everyone's trying to make it the slap. It's not the slap.

And we're in this culture now. We're everyone on. Right now we're talking, by the way, we're talking about the Amber Heard, Johnny Depp, trial that is currently going on. It's a $50 million defamation suit. And also they are countersuing as well between.

It's all being live streamed. So it's everywhere. Yeah, so good on you too. If you're interested in like the court procedure on that stuff, I mean, it's definitely interesting. I'm not going to take it away from that. But the part where everybody now has to take a side on stuff like this and we can't just step back and be like, hey, this just looks like a big, fucking messy, gross divorce

case. And like no one's a hero here or whatever. and it's just like, I don't know. And again, I'm sure one of y'all's could send me some message and be like, here's why this matter, why it matters to take a side on this. But I just, I don't know. I just see these kinds of things. And I'm like, I just get embarrassed for the people involved.

And I just kind of sit back. And then also just wonder, I'm like, how, I'm like, I'm so glad. Like, I'll see somebody's take on Facebook and be like, I'm so glad I'm not in real life friends with you because if I was going through something. you too would take a shitty side and choose, even though you have no idea what's actually going on what the reality of this situation is. And we all know that divorce is like just this huge, disgusting business in this country.

And it's just like all this money flying through it. And the whole point is these people pit the people involved against each other. I don't know. And it also just sounds like they both were gross. And I'm just like, team no one. Yeah. It seems like a real team no one. And I think that's okay.

And I still feel like I'm going to get attacked for being Team No One, which is insane. And that's where we're at in 2022. I also, you know, was talking about this on our Tuesday stream talking sex with Jay and Dr. Jay. I was talking to Dr. Jordan about this. And it is, it makes so much sense that, like, we're never going to know the full truth. And the fact, even if you sit and watch all of the live stream, which it's just, I guess, I don't quite understand.

And I don't know why immediately, I'm like, MJ, you're married to a lawyer. You must know these things. I'll speak on it. You must, you must understand. Does Gideon, has he said anything about this trial, by the way? We watched the video of like, there's like a super cut of Johnny Depp, you know, being like, Are you going to object?

I totally saw that. I totally saw that video. That's the only thing I've seen. And it's like, you know, I mean, you know, Gideon was like, he's an actor. he's like a person who's professionally charming being charming about this like thing that happens in court that's like annoying and technical and so like he's very good at being you know charred it's an extremely dry situation so if you have like a very handsome again paid to be charming person being like oh you're going to object like it's like i guess it makes

sense that that's like uh he's fun but like yeah i mean gideon had nothing to say about the the trial itself other than like that if you're a lawyer and johnny dep is is is your client and he's being like fun and charming like that you're like ooh yay you know but like because of you know the thing about courtrooms and like trials is that they're theater you know like they're just they're they're they have like extremely high stakes but they're they're all theater and it's about how you want people to it's about the law but it's also about how you want people to feel and react when they see people and I guess my thing is I just don't know any of the fucking details about what has alleged and neither does guinea and obviously like who what who is alleged to have done what so it's just

a celebrity trial you just have this thing that's kind of already meant to be theater like playing on like how how are you experiencing this person's testimony and then you have people where you already have a lot of feelings about them already because they're johnny dep you know so it just seems like a difficult thing to have an objective trial for, you know? I guess I don't understand how live streams are allowed in a trial. Yeah, why are they live streaming it? I don't know about that. And I don't know why, especially because it's not a criminal trial, right?

It's just a divorce proceeding. It's a defamation. So, civil. So, yeah, I mean, I think different states have different, I mean, I know different states have different laws about when you can photograph and video and not. like, I think in New York, it's like very rare to, you're like, you are not even supposed to take photos, but obviously there was court TV, so there was tons of, I mean, the whole 90s was based on videotaping things in courtrooms, you know?

I guess I just like, like, imagine like those fast ones. I don't know why in my brain, I thought it was different. And then I was like, how can, like, I guess also in their case, because it is about it, it is a he said, she said, and there's, I'm not saying that there's It's all about that he said, she said bullshit. And I'm also not saying that there's not a lot of proof on both sides. It's just that, like, I can't imagine wanting my very private, very rough things being broadcast live. Yeah, and I don't know whether the, like, you know, clients or whatever the fuck you call it with a civil trial. I don't know whether they have say and whether it's broadcast or not.

obviously like with a criminal trial that would be a, you know, a good thing for, you know, they maybe even want it to be live streamed especially in a situation like this, like Johnny Depp may want. Like even if he's like I understood, I understood why Britney Spears like why there were live streams of the different parts of her case.

I get that because she was being criminally wronged. In this case, they are both at not, I'm not saying that they are. equally at fault because I don't fucking know. But what I do know is that they are both at fault for the things that have happened at the difference of the times. So I guess I just wouldn't want that information out about me. Well, by the way, speaking of something,

you probably wouldn't want out there that I ended up watching that I feel dirty about. I don't know if you guys saw this already, but on Reddit it was posted a video of Alec Baldwin's in the moment reaction to being told that the cinematographer had died. Oh, my God. I don't want to know that. It is definitely a video where you're,

You're like, I don't think I should be seeing this, but it is harrowing. It is, it is again. Well, could you not be, what is the, what was the response? He looks haunted to his core. Yeah, I don't think I'd be. No, he laughed. He's like, oh, I could murder. If he had to shut the fuck up, I had had no sympathy for Alec Baldwin before he shot and

killed someone. And then for about a day, I had massive sympathy for him because what a nightmare. Of course, he didn't mean to murder her. So it's just like, oh, how sad. And then you learn more about, you know, everything else. And you're like, okay, I don't have sympathy for you anymore. I will say one thing. I mean, there is the audio out there.

I think this is an important thing for discourse and to like, you know, people to talk about is there's an audio recording of Amber heard telling Jideap, no one will believe you because you're a man, you know, about the abuse of salt or whatever, which is like, I'm glad that the larger discussion. They both have a lot of things that are. I'm not saying that it absolves Johnny Depp of wrong. And breakups and fights and relationships can be really fucking messy. And people are going to do a lot of things they regret. And it's awful and ugly business. But I'm glad at least people are talking more and more about the fact that men can be physically abused in a relationship.

And normalizing that is the one silver lining, I think, of this whole tribe. Yes. Right. Completely. Yeah. I think that makes sense. And yeah, you know, I feel like it's just, I don't know why it's being televised. I don't know. I mean, I assume it's just because they know it will make good entertainment.

Because it's the revolution, MJ. But you know what? I don't want to go. I don't want to get into our conspiracy theory corner until we at least talk about one positive piece of news that I do want to talk about the majorist directors, Lily Atlanta, Wachowski, auctioning movie props and fundraiser for trans youth. I think that this is fucking awesome. Some cool stuff in there, too. There's some really cool stuff that they are selling and giving out to different organizations that support transgender youths, which is, God, it's necessary right now. And thank you. And also they said that they are going to match donations up to $1.5 million as well. And it's already raised more than $786,000 so far. and they're just selling things that they have from movies that they made.

So we also have a list of some of the fun things that they're going to be selling. I was going to use it for a regular list, but I wanted to at least, but I wanted to talk about it a little bit more than that. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Like Channing Tatum's ears from Jupiter ascending. I never saw Jupiter ascending, but that would be fun to have his ears. Should I see Jupiter ascending?

He has like elf ears? No, was I supposed to have definitely seen the film Jupiter Ascending? No, I said should I have seen Jupiter? I've never seen it. Oh, I guess maybe not. Well, no, no, it doesn't look like I should. But you know what? Maybe you should buy those ears

because at least it's for a good cause. What about a Matrix-themed Pachinko gambling game? That thing looks crazy. I've never played Pachinko before. I definitely know about it. I mean, it's, you know, kind of the, like, Japanese version of slots in a lot of ways, but it looks way more fun than slots.

It's about balls kind of bonking into these little metal spikes going down and collecting and these little things at the bottom. But the way they like make it crazy looking is like so wild. I love watching videos of, there are like videos out there of people hitting jackpots and Bichingo machines and like doors open and giant things come out. That's fun. All this crazy shit out.

I don't know anything about Bichingo. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, at the end of the day, it's like a gross gambling machine akin to a slot machine. But I feel like they, least have a little more fun with it. And the only reason why I know so much about it is because, like, there's always, you know, Metal Gear Solid, this popular video game franchise,

Konami essentially, like, took the franchise and just turned it into a bunch of Pachingo. This, like, really important video game development company just became, like, overnight seemingly a Pachinko machine creator and, like, took all their properties and just made them into Pichingo machines. So that's kind of where I first heard about it. That's crazy Pachinko. Like, that's too much. That's absolutely too much.

Wait, are you watching the video? Are you talking about what I'm talking? Yeah, oh no, I was watching. I'm so watching the video. Yeah, isn't it nuts? If you look up, please look up, enter the Matrix, Pachinko fever. It just looks really crazy. But you don't, I doubt you have the sound on.

It is so abrasive, like, the idea that you would have that in your house, like plugged in and on is completely insane. Like, it is so loud and crazy. It's just like, It's just like, it's so, such a barrage to the senses because it's just trying to make you like so just, you know, so completely enthralled in it so you just keep pumping money into it.

I don't know, I think that maybe Holden is to talk so much about the Pachenko game because he wants to distract from the fact that the organization is also one started by Ariana Grande. Oh my God. Protect and defend transhuman. Put her in a river, I say. I say, put her to barrel and throw her into river, people. She is, I mean, it's great that they're doing it.

It was, it was just one of those things where I went back and read it twice. I was like, oh, okay, the Koski sisters had donated to protect trans youth. A fund started by Ariana Grande. I was just like, what? Okay, all right. Oh, you're right. And also, I was wrong. It wasn't the sister.

It wasn't the Wachowski sisters. It's Ariana Grande that's going to match the donations up to one point. Okay. And we got to get, I think we got to hand it to her holding. On the planet. She's doing good. takes men and she eats them up. She's married now.

We all know that a marriage is forever. That poor guy. I was here at a burial festival. Yeah, good one. Festival ceremony. Whatever. We're later in the episode. All right, I'm awarded a couple of misspeaks.

Let's get to the celebrity conspiracy. All right, here we go. Is Billy Eilis literally the devil? Oh. That's right. Billy had a great couple of She in Riverdale? She in Riverdale?

Which is fantastic to see. Invited out, what's her name, from Paramore. A band that Jackie and I literally just got into, which is insane. We're new. We're new to Paramour. She sang misery business on stage with her, too. A song that back in 2018 and a show in Nashville, she and her band said they would never perform.

Haley Williams. Apparently it was also Haley Williams' first time at Coachella. Yeah. I love the whole, like, and she turned into, it really, it really hits me in the field. She's like, thank you for sharing this with me. And I really do love when especially acts like Billy, because who else did she bring out?

She brought out another, like, old school. Like, I love when these, like, hot artists bring out somebody, they clearly admired so much that's maybe not like the Lizzo of the moment, you know what I mean, but still like a really cool, you know, a really cool feature. Yeah. And giving that respect. that, you know, and all that.

All right, anyways, though, but she's the devil, so whatever. Maybe not whatever with her. Let's hear these reasonings. This one comes from Blake, who says, bottom of the barrel for you? I've got two for you, Holden. The other one we may do some other time. Every time I come across one online, I bookmark it to tighten the load of your weekly burden, but my favorite segment.

Also, it's my B-Day on April 17, which is Easter this year. Fuck Jesus Rising is me turning 24, bitch. Here's my B-Div-A-B-D. Wow, are you the devil, Blake? Yes. Blake's the devil. Is Billy Elish, literally the devil? Like many celeb conspiracies,

I came across this one on TikTok. I hope y'all haven't done this one yet, lull, I listen every week, but also I have a bad memory, so sorry if it's been done. Also, Holden is also saying, sorry if this has already been done because he even thought it might have been done more.

Sometimes we forget whether we've done lists and or conspiracy theories before. Loll, Billy, here's the gist. Billy is known for her hauntingly beautiful voice and her singular rather spooky aesthetic. Some speculate that she, like many other young celebrities, sold her soul for her fame. First of all, she has what some doctors call psychopath eyes.

We've talked about that. We've talked about this. More commonly known as Senpaku eyes, this Japanese term refers to when the whites of someone's eyes are visible on three sides of the iris. Now, a lot of people point to Charles Manson. I like to point to that creepy guru guy from 90-day fiancé that also had that going on.

Princess die. And yeah, it's think about the Kubrick Stair, characters like Jack and The Shining, show the height of their derangement by looking up at a tilted camera. So three whites of the eyes are shown to display psychopathy. They make a face that resembles Billy's everyday look. Oh my God. Secondly, in a 2019 interview with noisy,

Billy is asked to draw self-portrait. I watched a few other noisy self-portrait interviews, and everyone just draws cartoons of themselves wearing clothes they like or with a beloved pet. However, Billy's full interview, which I literally watched on two-time speed, by the way, because with peace and love, that bitch talks slow as hell. She chose to draw a wingless flying serpent

with a horrifying face and a sharp-toothed grimace, saying, this is how I see myself, what I look like on the inside. As she finished, she said, this is me up. pointing to her brain. Quote, this bitch is out to get me half the time,

end quote. Back to the original TikTok, the user at Chicken shitty theorizes that this drawing is actually a biblical reference to the creature known as Leviathan. The monster seriously looks a lot like Billy's drawing.

If you look both of them up, there are lots of lyrical references he brings up, but the most convincing to me is her lyrics and you should see me in a crown, where she says, you should see me in a crown,

your silence is my favorite sound. Watch me make them bow One by one by one One by one. One by one. Whoa, what does that mean? Fuck off, I know. Scary, says Blake. Smothered, admittedly weak parts of the theory

are as follows. One, she loves horseback riding, possibly a reference to being one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Two. That is one horseback riding. Yeah, exactly. Two, in her music videos and social media posts, she often dresses as a devil or a demon for the aesthetic.

This is true. Three in a 2018 post, the caption for a selfie says, quote, why does anyone trust me, lull, I'm Satan? That's a pretty strong point. I don't think that's very weak. I mean, she literally says that she's the devil. Four, Jesus being born was the start of the age of Pisces. It ended in the year 2000.

Billy was born 12, 1801, only a year after the age of Jesus ended. what are 12 and 18 divisible by six. I was gonna say you're one and one and one and one before. I was gonna do like a one and plus one plus one times two. Right. Six times three more times. Gotta have six six six in there somewhere. All of these can only mean one thing.

Billy Elish is the devil herself. Sent to Earth to charm us all with her catchy hits only to make all humanity bow before her when she rises to power. In all seriousness, I love Billy. She's so, so talented. If she's the devil, she can have my soul, dude. Is happier than ever playing on a loop in hell?

If so, I'll be first in line. Thank you so much, Blake. Hell, yeah. Every time now that we talk about Sunpaku eyes, I just have to, I like, stop listening to just Google Sunpaku eyes because they are really interesting and a little haunting. Oh, yeah. But I think that it's also kind of hot, though.

Yeah. I like, I'm into it, but maybe I'm into the devil. Right. It's where the die had them. She, like, barely has them. I also, isn't it a part of it too that they're like, maybe it just could be like, the pictures are taken from a perspective that they're looking up because anyone kind of has them if you put down your chin and you look up. And then you look up.

I know there's definitely one of Robert Pattinson in here that is not, that is just constructed because he's looking down and then looking up. But like, I mean, I don't know, it's tough because you put the way that the brain works, If there's just like a photo array of three photos, and it's like one of them is Charles Manson, you know, and then you see Billy Elish next to him, your brain is just like, yeah, they're both cyclopaths. She's crazy. Yeah, yeah.

And then Princess died, throw Princess die in there, and you're like, well, she died at tragic death. Probably there's something to do with the devil in there as well. Yeah. I feel like, call me crazy, I feel like when they're below, they're less threatening than like with Charles Manson where they're above the, Yes.

Yeah. Below is like what Princess Dye and Billy Elish have, and that's kind of hot. What Charles Banson has is definitely just scary. Scary, yeah. I feel like when they're above, there's something going on. Also, Abraham Lincoln had them, so. Whoa, and he was crazy as shit.

It was sucking nuts. Well, there you go. Do you believe? Yeah, she has to be the devil. There's no way she's not the devil. Yeah. Absolutely the devil. Nobody that talented at that young an age could be not the devil.

There's no way. She's the devil. So at least we know now. You know where he or she is. And it's at Coachella. So, no, no, I think it's good. No wonder Billy Elish was able to become so popular, so young. Mm-hmm.

Devilish ways. Now it's time to the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Oh, my God. it's because I'm getting married. 15 TV and movie facts. Wedding bells are ringing for.

Wow. What does they even mean? It's all wedding movie facts. Like it's just different things about like I didn't realize. Why would a wedding bell ring for a fact? It doesn't make any sense. It makes no sense. The cracked author, Tara, I'm coming for you.

There's just some fun things I hear that I didn't know. I didn't know. He's fucking bell. Who got the wedding bells into this guy? Come the facts. Yeah, all dressed in my wax. So that means my dip-ins. You're going to say all dressed in black.

No, all dressed in my wax is my dip-ins juice that I got. I got all my dip. Oh, someone put me down. Oh, my God. Jaggy's screaming to me. euthanized in a minute of 54 of this podcast. No, I think she'd ask me put down for a nap like a little baby. Oh, okay, like a baby.

I want to be swaddled. I need to be put down. I would love to do that. Can you come swathe? Do you think you could adult swaddle me? I have so many techniques on like how to just, just rock and sway a baby to sleep. So a hundred percent. You would be so whacked out.

We'll get a jackpack. If you had 15 minutes with me. And you'll just, I'll put, you put me in a little, your jackpack is in the front and I'll just hang in front of you. Like, I know they kind of have these four adults that have, like, sleepwalking issues, but I legit wish they had, like, adult swaddles, you know what I mean?

I mean, I guess that's those blankets they were hawking. The weighted, I feel like a weighted blanket is the adult version of that. I want to be, like, zipped up, you know what I mean, like fully velcroed into something. I think that's a straight jacket, but I think you get you one of those, I'm pretty sure. You can sleep where Han and Leah had, sacks.

Yeah, whatever. Disney's Galactic Star Cruiser. An interactive $6,000 a night hotel is canonically where Han and Leah spent their honeymoon. Ben Solo was noiselessly created in the engine room of this galactic

cruiser. Do you guys... I know that MJ, your husband, cares about Star Wars enough that do you think that he would want to? Like, is this a bucketless thing to stay at this hotel? Because they... Don't you also, like, you can choose which side you're on and you can like destroy the bad question i mean he's definitely

likes a fandom he likes to get like you know coasters t-shirts i'm not sure if he is if his fandom extends to the point of being like i want to stay in the hotel room where hon and lea i will say at that crazy rbnb for natalie's birthday we just went to i said lexie and i stayed in the uh beauty and the beast themed, rat tattooey also themed French Brezleri and yeah, we had a lot of fun and I kept going oh, oh, oh, yeah, like being a complete piece of shit

about it and that was really awesome. Yeah, well you wish you could have stayed in the pitch perfect room where I was in a bunk bed with my best girl and we woke each other up with drums every morning. I'd be so fucking enrage. At what time too, by the way? What time were you guys getting done? We're both early risers.

And the problem is that we were across the way from the Harry Potter room. Right. So they got a dose of it. And directly underneath Natalie and Henry's room. So everybody got a dose of it. So they had to hear the drums. The Harry Potter room that was across from us was very cool. But on it, it said to James, the boy who painted.

And it just kind of looked like a mausoleum for. Right. It seemed like it was for a dead child's room. No, it wasn't. Well, I told Marie, who stayed in it, Marie from the Reformed Hors, I literally convinced her that it was for a dead boy that lived in the room.

And so she actually thought she was being haunted by the ghost of a child. She was like, I was afraid to get out of bed. So I didn't want the boy to talk to me. You know, I was just like, Marie, that's one of the owner's living children. It's not a dead boy. It was in honor.

It's just in honor. Fair, you don't put a plaque on a door for a living child. MJ, did we even tell you about this? It was crazy because throughout this estate, there were murals painted of this family that we don't know. And so it's a bunch of, like, kids painted everywhere. And every, like, there was a movie poster where he superimposed his face over Adam Sandler's face and his wife's face over Drew Barrymore's face from 50.

First dates, but it was just very... Not even the wedding singer? No, 50 first dates. Oh, great segue back into our wedding list. Kim Kardashian got married just because it was paid for. The only reason Kim Kardashian went through with her $10 million wedding to Chris Humphreys was because keeping up with the Kardashians spent its whole budget on it. The marriage lasted 72 days. Now, the thing is, I knew that the marriage lasted only 72 days.

I know that it was probably kind of hurried, but I didn't realize that, I guess I never, because I've never been that into the Kardashians, I didn't even realize that it was on the show that she got married for, that it was like a special. Then I went down like a worm time with it. Yeah, that's like one of the things that people tend to hold against, or at least years ago, they tended to hold against Kim Kardashian the most. And it's the thing I hold against her the least. Like, I would absolutely be like it's already paid for it's going to be on TV. Just do it. And then divorce later. Like whatever.

I mean, not the divorce isn't really hard and messy, a la Johnny Depp and Amber heard. But, you know, I totally understand why she was like, eh, the momentum's already in place. I'll just do it. Well, wedding bells, wedding bells. A bride's, sorry. Yeah, I'm like wedding smells. That was a good. Both of you guys are doing great.

It doesn't smell. This I just thought was actually kind of fun. A bride sued say yes to the dress. because seeing the bride's dress before the wedding is bad luck, but it's probably worse if the whole world sees it, which is why one woman sued after her episode was aired before her wedding. And they showed the dress. What did you think was going to happen?

You were on a television show. Bitch, what did you think was going to happen? You were on television? Like, that's really, like, that I feel like is a, that's a loophole. You think they write down when your wedding date is and they're like, oh, let's wait until Liz gets married before we air it. Also, is it just the groom who shouldn't see the dress? Yeah.

Is that something incredibly easy to keep the groom for watching? Yeah, don't watch Say Yes to the dress, honey, until after we get married. Don't put on the TV channel that you would never in your a million years put on. Honey. It just doesn't make any sense. But I was- Rivalous lawsuits. Yeah.

You know, back in the day, everyone was so happy. Now, this one I don't quite understand, but I included it because MJ you like cake boss so much For some reason Cake Boss is on this list And it just says You can't arrest me I'm the cake boss

Which I remember is what he shouted When he was pulled over For drunk driving But why is it on this wedding list? I'm asking you MJ Because you know all things cake boss I do I do thank God he was able to recover

From his tragic handball Tragic Tragic Tragic just yelled at someone after drunk driving? He was probably on his way to deliver a cake to a wedding. So he had to get there on tie. Classically, he's like got a drunken warrior style.

Like he has to be hammered when he makes his cakes. I don't think so. I mean, he takes his art very seriously. And I don't imagine him. It's not dropping the cake is about 85% of the plot of the show. And so I can't really imagine him getting hammered when he was about to deliver a cake to a wedding. But also he does, he's like a, he's a Jersey Italian guy, and I think he probably likes his drinks. Yeah, he probably likes his drinks.

You know where they definitely like their drinks on the set of Breaking Dawn. Yeah, I'm talking about Twilight. The wedding in Breaking Dawn kept being rained on. This is actually really crazy, though. The weather was so bad that the flowers had to be replaced, sometimes hourly, and the whole thing took almost a month to make. Why didn't they just move it to somewhere else? Oh, somewhere else put it inside. I guess maybe that you have too much then at that point.

Put up a tent. Yeah, but I mean, if it took a month, then I would think if you just moved it, went through the hassle of moving the whole production somewhere where it didn't do that. Maybe your problem, Holden, is your thinking. Maybe that's what your problem is. Just period. Yes. Unbelievable.

And that's my list through. That's my list. Good Lord. Ugh, everything about that. Bing, bong, ding. Dong, it's blind items because I think I'm going Blind.

Oh, we can't see them. Was that because of the wedding bells? Wedding bells? Rock and roll reggae six. I've been married seven times. Every time was the last time, ladies and gentlemen. All right, here we go.

Now we're going to do our new tracks being sad on Monday. Monday, bummer, Monday. Monday sucks. It's Monday. Sunday, baby, yeah. He loves Day of the Week song.

He's got a day of the week's song. Different songs. The six songs is called Tuesday's fine. Tuesday's fine. Nothing special about it. He's got three songs about Friday and four songs about Saturday. One of them is just Rebecca Black's Friday. It's a cover.

All right. How about a couple of blinds about tipping? Everybody does it in this country, which is annoying and it's scam. For owners of restaurants underpay their worker. Ooh, he's got to say. Bang bang bang. Yeah, ring of those wedding bells. Yeah, there's a running bell for your fucking ass.

All right, so a couple tipper blinds. This is a pretty good. This illiterate former, this person who's, letters of their first and last name are the same. And former A-list, mostly-movie actress, does not leave tips on a fairly regular basis and has a variety

of excuses from someone else paid the bill, or she thought she was comped, including tip to not having enough cash on her. Movie actress? Former A list, mostly movie actress, she's definitely been, like,

super out of favor for quite some time trying to kind of make a comeback. These days, she's whatever. Kirsty Alley. No. Younger, younger than Kirsty, but that's a good guess. Okay, younger than Kirsty.

She was kind of more in the party. Yeah, I was going to say she's more in the party girl era like in the 2000s. Yes, and actually she even skipped out on a $1,300 restaurant bill with 10 of her friends back in 2015 after allegedly telling her buds,

quote, not to worry about the bill. Whoa. Well, because she wasn't worried about it either. Come on. I know, right. The restaurant spent days tracking her down until apparently one of the friends covered the bill.

How crazy is that? To be fair, in 2015, she was having a rough one. Yeah. But still not fair to the rest. No, you still got to pay. No matter how many mental health bad things you are having, you still got to pay your bills at the rest.

Yeah, I have can't pay fancy dinner bills disease. I have to go. Oh, that is a rough disease. Like, many of them, I support skipping out on. Like, if you don't pay, there's certainly, you know, if you don't pay your student loans, I support you. But if you don't pay a restaurant, you're just individually fucking people.

Like, you can point to the people you are fucking. Yeah, exactly. And they are workers. Yes. Yeah. This is another one. So get ready fucking for it. Fucking ready for it.

This A-list actress who is best known for the iconic pay cable show leaves exactly. 18%, not a penny more or less, and uses her phone to work it out. Sarah Jessica Parker. Absolutely. I guess her on the previous one, and now I get to guess her good with this one. Wow. Yeah, yeah. So this just brought up, A, come on, Sarah.

Second of all, tips, what do we do? What do we do? What's our policy here at page seven? Jackie taught me, Jackie brought me out of my cheap. And I always tipped. Yeah. But I was always like, I'm broke. So I'm gonna tip the least 10%.

I think I tipped 20%. I think I always tipped 15 to 20%. But like I never went over that. I always at least do 20%. Jackie taught me that you just have to tip as well as you possibly can. As well as you can. You just tip as well as you can.

Bare minimum, always 20%. Always 20. Never less. Even if it's fucking dog shit service. That is my thing. And I try to do 25 now, you know. Just because you can do it by looking at it. You move the decimal point over one

and then double it. So it's like the easiest way to tip to you like in your head. You don't even have to like pull out a calculator or anything. So that is big part of it. But yes, if it's exceptional service or, you know, we just like the person,

I mean, we will usually, especially when I'm like with Lexi, like we will usually like throw down, throw down on. Yeah, we're pretty crazy tippers. But I think that it is,

you know, I worked in the service industry for a very long time. And I have a lot of friends that work in the service industry. And it's just, in America, where it is criminal how low people are already paid in almost every single industry. But then on top of it, the service industry, I still don't quite understand how it is legal to do it. But again, I don't know if you guys remember, I'm not a lawyer.

I don't know these things. But that's why it's our job as much as you can to tip as much as you can. And also, Jackie, do you just, ooh, the look of that. I believe it was a woman who stole from the tip jar at the blue stove. Did you remember that? That was, oh, you mean the three times that the tip jar had been stolen from the blue stove?

But it was the same person, right? Well, the one person did steal it twice, and then it had been stolen three times until we literally had to screw the tip jar into the counter. Oh, my God. Oh, because they would just take the whole jar? Well, I guess that makes sense.

Yeah, they just took the whole jar. Wow. If you're just like in the middle of like cooking stuff, or he turned around to, make a drink or something like that. And coffee shops, I know, are the worst because nobody tips at coffee shops. Yeah, anyways, it's already not the best. So tip everybody if you can.

Yeah, it takes just as long to make like an espresso drink. Sometimes even more, if you're just opening up a beer. Like, I'm not saying that like being a bartender is not difficult. I know that it is, but I am. I'm saying it's easy. If you're just opening up a beer and you get definitely a dollar, but I'm over here making four lattes and then you don't tip. Yeah, that's crazy, bro.

But also, and you're only expected to tip, like, a dollar or whatever, whereas the other thing, too, Lexi had to teach me is like, because she likes really nice cocktails. If you go to, like, a really nice cocktail bar, you do percentage. You don't do a dollar for every trip. They are, like, doing a lot of work there to make you a crazy-ass cocktail. Yeah, which I actually didn't realize, like, one time we left, I just tipped, like, I would tip at a fucking dive bar. Right. You know, and Lexi was just like, how much did you? dude, you've got it, and I was like, it felt so embarrassed.

I didn't want to go back here. But then it's good to like, but then you have to know. And you know, you know, and it's the kind of thing. But now, and if you didn't know out there, now you know. There you go. And that was, yeah, Jackie and I have all the years we had buying drinks together. And I would diligently give my $1 per drink. And Jackie was like, you know, I always try to give like, if I get five and change back and I ordered, you know, three drinks, I give five.

Like, I give $2 a drink or $3. I mean, I can tell if a waiter's into it, I'll take him in the back and suck their dick. I'll just straight up there. I'll let them give me the tip. Sounds like someone's been reading a court of Miss and Fury. Oh, never in a million that's at. Fairy Lord languishes.

I wouldn't say never in a million years old. It sounds like you literally have to read this book like in the next week. I know. Apparently I'll get some tips. I'll just start sending you more paragraphs for you to learn from. Can't wait. to romance a woman as if I was a fucking

feeling more. He isn't so sexy you don't even understand it. That is not what he sounds like. It's that what he sounds like. All right, here's the last one.

We'll try to keep it quick. It is amazing the lengths this A-list actress will go to keep her decade-long sexual relationship with a multiple-time co-star secret. I guess because it would make her look like a cheater and her lover wouldn't recommend her for parts

she otherwise wouldn't get. It is an insane relationship they have. Okay, the woman is a redhead. I like her. Jessica Chesday. No, whatever. Nicole Kidman. No, because when I'm here,

somehow drama feels good in a place like this. Oh, my God. Well, don't even bring up Nicole Kidman like that. My Nicole Kidman. No, she has a first name, last name, that starts with the same letter as well. She can sing. She's been in three movies with this guy.

This guy's like leading man, leading man. He has been a big deal superhero in the past. Television show? No, films. Three films they were in together. I don't know if you'd guess the films. Scarlet Johansson? No, she's a redhead, very pale skin.

Oh, Emma. One of them. No, no. So bad. I'm trying to think of the women that you've redhead. All right, you want me tell you the, I guess I'll tell you the movies this is getting so bad.

Yeah, tell us the movies. She was in a David O. Russell movie with this co-star that he had to stick up for her to David O. Russell in front of because he was treating her so shitty. Pale skin, beautiful, sings, got big on a Disney movie where she's singing. She's a princess, starts out as a cartoon.

She goes in a real life. I'm giving you everything here. She's... My brain is so fried. I can barely listen to what you're saying. Jennifer Lawrence. Her first life is to start with an A. Fuck.

I'm looking up David O. Russell movies because who the fuck? I don't know. Everyone right now is screaming the names of these two people. He was Batman. Robert Pattinson? No. Why are you both naming names of people who play Batman right now? George Clinton.

No. Bell Kilmer. Not George Clooney is a eating man. He's a psycho. Christian Bale. He's from America and he's a psych. Christian Bale? Yeah.

Yes? Yeah. Okay. Her first name is three letters. I wouldn't call Christian Bail leading man. Yeah, he's a character actor. Yeah, that's what I'm, yeah, I'm getting behind MJ on this one. Yeah, I know, he's a character actor.

All right. He was a little period piece actor for such a long time. Wait, why did you bring up David O. Russell then? Who are you talking about? Pale-skinned. Who would the woman be pale, beautiful, redhead? I've added vocal celebrity crush on her. Amy Adams.

Yes. What movies have they? American Hustle. No one remembers that. All right. What are the other movies they've been in? I never saw American Hustle. The fighter's amazing.

Didn't see the fighter. The fighter's so good. I'm sure that it is. American Hustle and Vice replaced the change. I haven't seen any of these movies. They're all good and you should see them all. She is hot, though. I will give you the fight.

that. So they've started three movies together. Legend has it, as I said, Bail stuck up for Adams to director David O'Russell over the treatment of her during the shoot. Adams is currently married to Darren LaGallo, a visual artist and musician since 2015. Bail is married to former model

Sivie Blasick for over two decades, but the two have this really interesting pretty well-known, like tight friendship. I mean, I'll watch it. Gotta be tough to have your hot partner be hot friends. Hot Platonic friends with a hot famous person.

I don't know if I can handle. If Lexi was like really close because they did a bunch of work together. With Christian Bale. Yeah. All right, well, let's just end this. As I'm looking at them,

they both are married to the very hot people as well. Yes, they are. And it happened for a real long time. Adams had been married to this guy since like they first, or at least they first met in like acting school. They look so cute together. They do. And Bail has been with this.

hot model for a very long time. There's no way there's smushin. It's like Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac's hot. That's why I thought it was Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac. So that's, I couldn't get my brain away from it. And she is like

the hot redhead actress of the moment. And Oscar Isaac is a leading man, leading man. And I could see. I think there's a manly man. He was Batman for games. Bruce Wayne for God's sakes. Much less, yeah, exactly. I mean, I guess he is a I guess he's both. I'll take the hit for it.

It's mine. I should have been like newsies. I will admit that he is now a leading man, leading man. I just think that in his childhood career, he was more of a character act, like a period piece. Yes. Well, I'm just happy that I will get,

I'm looking forward to the many messages I'm going to get from the listeners being like, I was screaming their names in the car. We fucked that one up. We bugged it up. And now it's, we bucked it up. I got to go home and watch Moon Night every time you mention Oscar.

Oh my God. Remember that it's moon night night. It's been floundering though in the it's midseason. It's been floundering a little bit. Oh, I didn't think so. I love it. I love it. I'm just going to send him a flounder in the mail.

Noon night logo on it. I don't know if that's, oh, don't send it to Tom Cruise. It'll get them all horny. Come on. What are we talking about here? Difficult to fuck a flounder, though. They're too flat. I can see again, the show is absolutely over.

It is the nail is in. The real. with the coffin. No, I think people do get a kick out of me struggling so hard to try to get you guys to. I think that, you know, sometimes we got to struggle our way through it, you know? I think it's, I think it's more fun this way. I was like, I would have such a hard time doing this, by the way. I'm so glad I don't have to be in your position.

Oh, really? I'm the opposite, because I'm really bad at giving hints. Like, I would just be like. I'm so bad at Gassel. It's Amy Adams. I would give up. Yes, I would give up. I would say it's Amy Adams.

But thank you. I like, I like drawing it out. It's very fun. All right. Thank you so much, everybody, for joining us. Jackie, what do you got? Let's plug it up. I'm a lady.

Ugh. It's terrible. You can follow me on Instagram. Check that word. You can come hang out over at page 7 LPN over on TikTok and come hang out on my Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.

Oh, no. It's Jackie on Tuesdays and on Sundays. And then on Thursdays come hang out. Jersey. Shore. And watch Jersey Shore with us. You can get that over on Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast.

Check me out Holdenaders Ho on Twitch, Monday, Tuesday, Friday streams. It's a streamer's dream. Jackin with the Holdys on Fridays. It's so good. Twitch.com. Twitch.com slash Holdenatorsho. We party. We have fun. We get crazy. We get loud. Also, please send those conspiracy theories into page 7 podcast.g.g.com. Page the numeral seven podcast at gmail.com.

And I just like when you guys just hit me up to say what's up. It's always nice. Anyways, thank you so much everybody. And on to you, MJ. My name is MJ and I'm MJKLCat on Insta. A noise. And it's time for the song. Shout, shout, let it all out.

These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read them to you. Come on. Thank you guys so much for sending in your shoutouts. Well, I'll be keeping these screaming to a minimum today. Thank you guys. And again, you can send in your shoutouts or just your whatever's or your smiles or your lists

or whatever you want to page 7podcast at gmail.com. That is 7 the number. So it's page 7podcast at gmail.com. First up on our list, it's Melissa. aka Missy Roo Panda from the Twitch community. Oh my God, I'm so happy. I love a shoutout crossover from Twitch. Missy Rupanda says,

I want to send a big shout out to myself for landing my new, amazing job that starts next week. Oh, I love a self-shout! After years of struggling to pay basic bills at what I thought was my dream job, I'm finally going to be making a difference and making good money at the same time. Look at me being a real human.

I can't wait to be part of creating a positive, uplifting work environment for some really passionate animal care professionals so that they can take the best care of the animals they work with. I'm a huge animal lover, and if I can make this happen, then I am really doing my dream job. Plus, I get actual weekends off, which means more time to spend with my sweet little niece. I can't wait.

Oh my God, and I can't wait for you, Melissa. Congratulations. And I'm just so proud of you for going out there, taking life by the horns. Next up, oh, I love your love, and I thank you so much of her the pictures. Caitlin, this is going out to you for your anniversary. And if you have a dog named Susie Q and a cat named Pretzel, this goes out to you because you're loving, amazing, adorable partner. just forgot to put their name. But this goes out to you.

I love you both. They say, I'm writing into you because on May 1st, I'll have been with my girlfriend, Caitlin, for five years. I want to scream my love from the rooftops, but my neighbors may get annoyed, so I'm emailing our favorite podcast instead. Oh, adorable! She's the reason I started listening to podcasts to begin with

and got me into page seven. Now we're both obsessed with the network and love talking about the latest celebrity news and diving into the pop histories together. Caitlin is my rock and is the best thing that happened to me. I'm so grateful that we've been able to get through college, a pandemic, and our transition into the real world side by side. There's nothing I love more in this world than spending time with her and our new dog Susie Q. Congratulations!

And our cat pretzel, which, ugh, you know I love food names for animals. Hope you enjoy the shout-out on our favorite podcast. Love you, Caitlin. Happy five years. Oh, congratulations, guys. Oh, it's Benny D. I love Benny D. Benny D. is also a part of our Twitch community, and Benny D. made, crocheted me the most amazing skull shawl

that I still have on the back of my chair. Benny D, I love you, and we miss you. Ben says, I finally got some time to watch the April Reels Twitch, only a week late, and oh, the emotions. I love your love and your friendship with each other. It kind of makes me a bit sad that I don't have a friendship like this. I've always been a bit of a loner. But now more than ever, I actually do wish I had some friends to spill my heart out too, like you all did on April Real's Day. But, Benny, you do. You have us, and we love you so much. Ben says, my birthday was the day before April Real's Day on April 18th. I felt so sad that whole day.

partly because I don't have any friends to lavish birthday attention on me, also partly because my in-laws forgot again, partly because I turned 40-freaking 8, 40-freaking adorable is what you are. Mainly I just felt so unloved and lonely. I'm so sorry. Still trying to get to that light over at the Frankenstein place. Oh, my heart. Bin says, so today I wanted to give a shout-out to all the people in the community

who have given themselves a shout-out. I know what it's like to have no one think about, you enough to shout you out, or even know the podcast we love and want to shout out from. You know what I mean? It's just so nice to love and feel loved by friends. And page seven are the friends I wish I had. Almost the friends I'll never meet, since you've all been so nice to be in the past and making me feel valued and seen.

Ugh, but you are. Like I said, I think about you all the time, Benny D. And I hope that you could feel my love radiating across the world. Do you? I love you. And I'm so sorry. you felt so lonely on your birthday, but just know that someone in L.A. is thinking about you right now, and I'm giving you a hug. And we've got more from our Twitch community. Apes McNeil is here.

April says, I wanted to give a special shout out to Jackie M.J. Holden for April Reels Day. You guys were so real and open and everything I wish I could be. And seeing Holden open up about the isolation he feels since becoming a dad was just too real. I sobbed a lot. I sobbed a lot. along with him and decided to reach out to a few friends and let them know how I was feeling. Oh, April, it makes my heart sing. It ended up being a great thing. And over the weekend, I had a blast with the people I've spent over a decade with, but haven't seen much of since I had my second babe.

And it was everything my sad little brain needed. I even hung out with a friend I've made from this community. Shoutouts to my baby, B, I love you. So thank y'all for being so open and honest and goddamn vulnerable for a lot of audience because it gave me the push I've been needing to be open and honest and vulnerable myself. Love April. Oh, all of my love goes to you. I'm so happy you had a great time with B, and I'm so happy that you reached out because it's so scary. Believe me, I understand. I'm so proud of you. And last but not least, ugh, Dayquil, be strong for my eyes.

This goes out to Amy. Amy wanted to write in. They said, I wanted to shout out to my brother Eli, who passed away Saturday the 23rd after a long battle with cancer. Oh, God. Oh, God. Not you. Not you, Amy. The oh God was at my face. He was one hell of a fighter up until the end. He always had a smile on his face, and even hours before he passed, he was cracking jokes. He wasn't my brother by birth, but he came into our family in 2018, after finding out he had no family of his own to celebrate Thanksgiving. From there on he became Uncle Eli to my kids, son to my mom and dad, and brother to me and my siblings. We spent every day together. Then in 2019, he was diagnosed with a rare form of blood cancer in his brain.

Through 14 surgeries, we were by his side. He and I bonded over our love of twilight and pop music. He came on as a special guest for the podcast I do with my husband and brother and became our fourth host, Spending every weekend with him and his goofy personality made us all the better. We promised him he would not fight his battle alone, and we were all there by his side in his final hours. Loving him and telling him how badass he was. Now his battle is over, and I told him that he did it. He won.

He will be free of the cancer, and the cancer will now die without its host. He was so brave and honestly my hero. So shout out to Eli, the biggest badass I have. ever met. I was blessed to be able to call him, my brother. We will see you on the other side, my dude. All my love to the LPN Network in page seven, you have helped me through all the hard times and have been a constant in my life, helping me keep a smile on my face as we fought this battle right beside Eli. Now to find a way to go on without him. I know you all will be a guiding light to brighter days. With much love, Amy. Please check out Amy's podcast, as I,

wipe up my face. And thank you so much for celebrating Eli's life with us and for sharing this story with us. Please check out their podcast, unearthing paranormalcy. Unerthing paranormalcy. If you want to check out Eli's amazing sense of humor. Amy says, trust me, you won't be disappointed. He's the best. So please check it out. Again, that's unearthing paranormalcy. Ah, my brain. I love you guys. Love you, Amy. love everybody and have a great week I love you this show is made possible by listeners

like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to lastpodcastnetwork.com