Page 7 - Ep. 447: Your Butt Is A Fickle Mistress

Episode Date: May 5, 2022

This week we're gossin' 'bout babies growin' up and developing a comprehensive emotional regulation system, Kim K. donning the 'Happy Birthday Mr. President' dress at the Met Gala (including her dangerous method of fitting into it) and the Springtime Cocaine Blast known as the Met Gala as a whole, Lili Reinhart calling out the destructive diet practices in Hollywood, Olivia Wilde getting served custody papers at CinemaCon, Dave Chappelle getting attacked on-stage, Holden breaks down the 2005 Cameron Crowe film Elizabethtown, and in celeb conspiracy corner; The case of John Poosack, The LIST, BLINDSsS and SHOUUUTZ!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Have you been dying to see us live? Then get psyched about the last podcast network, Country Jamboree, at the Rhyman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee on June 18th. Jackie, we're not at the Country Bear Jamboree, but I am grinning like a possum, eating a sweet tater. Because we'll have all your favorite LPN family out and performing live, including last podcasts on the left, page seven,

Wizard and the Bruiser, No Dogs in Space, Brider Side, fraudsters, someplace underneath, the story must be told, and more. Tickets available now. Again, that's the Rhyman Auditorium on June 18th in Nashville, Tennessee. The last podcast network, Country Jamboree! Well, I've been sitting here looking at the MetGala pictures, just shaking my damn head like the youths say, and so I decided to put on an old place. list of mine and what song came on, but I hate everything about you by Three Days Grace. I hate every time we lie, you. After every hit we take every feeling that I get. Yes, it's new metal, and yes, I love Three Days Grace and no one can take it away from me. You know this about me. I am more, I am an Ugly Kid Joe guy through and through.

That is my I hate everything about you, and I will never concede at that point. Oh, no. Welcome to page seven, everyone. That's my I hate everything about you. You say Cotton Eye, Joe? No, Ugly Kid Joe. It was because I was ushered into the Jinnx

from musical silings to my brother. He had the single on tape. Yes. And I hate everything about you. Yeah, it was alternative, grunge, and that's my hate everything about you, okay? Leave your hip-hop at the door, Jackie. I think I can hear people collectively just brain spasm by you referring to new metal as hip-hop. Well, it just, you know, you know how they did with that style of music.

They injected it in every term. They were like, oh, a boogie to the wuggy, get down with the clown, you know what I mean, or whatever they did, or whatever. See, we are getting morning time Holden right now. I am. We're recording at a different time than usual. I mean, my whole life. We got periodied Daddy Holden here because it is beautiful baby Freddy's birthday today. MJ, how do you feel about having a four-year-old?

I'm, you know, I'm excited. So far in general, it has only gotten more interesting. and more fun, you know? And so I'm excited for what four holds. I'm almost slightly jealous because, you know, from everything I've heard, you're entering like the best ages here. Yeah. Yeah.

Like this is kind of the prime time, especially once they get to five, you know, five to like 10 or whatever, five to like, I don't, you know, I'm staying in my room. I'm not, I don't even want, look at you right now. You know what I mean? Once you get to that point, it cuts off, whatever that age is, 13, I guess.

These are the prime time they can kind of like maybe put them, maybe like brush their own teeth or whatever. You don't have to do, you know, all that kind of stuff. Right, right. It's like the, I think what we're really waiting to drop is like, you know, kind of a comprehensive emotional regulation system. Ooh, yeah. That does sound like fun. That sounds really fun. To the extent to which such a thing exists.

But yeah, she loves, she gets dressed by herself. I do not have any, I do not weigh in on what she chooses to wear. She can indeed brush her own teeth. She can put on her own shoes. She got, for her birthday gift this morning, she got some light up shoes, which she had asked for, which she was very excited. That's awesome.

I love light up shoes. Who doesn't? That's why I wore them at my wedding. Everybody likes light up shoes. Yes. It's the best. So, yes, it is. And as I get further away from, like,

the actual experience of like having given birth, which for in this instance was like incredibly, you know, dangerous and traumatic. I am more able to be like, this day is all about you and is not about me and my medical trauma. But there's always just a little, this day is also for me to have a nice cocktail. And thank God that I'm alive. Yeah. Hell yeah.

As you should. As you absolutely should. In fact, I've been, I've been on the TikTok as of late and trying to really understand this algorithm over. come check out page 7 LPN over on TikTok and I found myself that now I'm in this slurry of gentle parenting TikToks and I don't know how I found myself in which I think is really great

and in theory it is all so beautiful about you know recognizing and respecting and then you just like in my brain it's like cut to just like no no no no no you're like please no I respect like I don't I am not a parent so I don't understand it. But even as a nanny over the years, I'm just like, but they're animals. Gentle parenting. So I watched the gentle parenting TikToks and I'm like in theory, that

sounds like a beautiful way to live. Yeah, I'm always, every time I see stuff like that, though, I'm always just like, what are you fucking hiding? I know. What are you fucking hiding? I'm so glad I'm not the only one who sees like a happy family on Instagram and I'm like, you're all liars. You fraud. I know it really goes. Yeah. I like being a huge. human being parent, like a real human about it. You know what I mean? With flaws. Yeah.

Or I just get very resentful towards children. I don't know. And I'm like, oh, look at you. And you're perfect children. Sweet and nice. Must be nice. Good Lord. I was fucking just now cleaning out a big old beef blast.

Mine left for me. Came out to the ones here, right? That's my life I'm living. My favorite thing too is like time to play. This is what's happening right now. Oh, by the way, crawling. happening. As of like a few days ago,

which is really excited. I got to see it live. It was really cool. That's good because I hate the playback. I hate a crawling playback. Hate the playback. Well, I was in the room playing video games and something compelled me

to like go into the nursery and just check on them and adjust perfect timing. She like crawled right in front of Lexi and I like for the front. It was like amazing. We were like, oh my God! And now it's so funny.

It's like, we got you all these toys. And it's all over the room. You can play with all these toys. And she just immediately goes to like the most dangerous. not toy in the room and starts fucking with it. She's like opening this drawer and like slamming it gliss. I'm just like, God help me.

God help me, please. And even that is better, in my opinion, than the looks at the Met Gallup. I was about to say, I think that it's about as uncomfortable as Kim Kardashian was as she tried to desperately walk up the stairs in a $4.8 million, Maryland Monroe dress. We must talk about this because this is one of the most disgusting displays. I'm not talking about the Met Gala, but believe me, there are plenty of articles that are like,

do you realize what's happening in the Senate right now? Oh, we're talking about the fucking Met Gala? There has to be a middle ground, you know? I mean, it's a pop culture show, and we're all upset about it. Can we just acknowledge? We'll acknowledge the right at top. We're very fucking mad about that. Yes.

No, no, no. I cried for at least two hours yesterday. But, you know, there are actions to be taken. There are things to be done. Come join us next Tuesday over on Twitch. TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie with our friend who works for the Supreme Court as we talk about things and actions that we can take. Next Tuesday, I'll post about it on my Instagram.

Also, I assure you I'll be hunting for an old white man and just assume he's conservative and I will just beat him on the street. Great. I mean, in your neighborhood, I think I would do that. We all have to find out what we can do according to our own bandwidth, you know, and Holden can beat up a red of a white man on the street. Oh my God, I'm watching this walk. So this woman only wore the dress for this walk up the stairs.

We need to talk about Kim Kardashian. This is just, it is, oh my God, disgusting. And I think just not her in her body, I mean. The juxtaposition was tough. Of course, the Met Gallo, whatever. People need to be able to, we need to be able to shit on the Met Gallo here, page seven. I think it was tough to be watching the Met Gallo tweets and then see the Roe versus Wade story coming in and be like, that is really what it was.

You know, like we're watching these fucking idiots do this stupid thing. And then we're watching this like fucking earth-shattering. And most of them not even do the assignment. Most of them not even showing up in guilt and glamour. No one. Screaming about before it started, including Kim Kardashian. The biggest, like, she made, did so much work. Let's talk about this.

So much unhealthy work to lose the weight. She's wearing the Marilyn Monroe dress from that she classically sang, Happy Birthday, Mr. President, too. And this is the funny thing to JFK. $4.8 million. This dress was. private flown from Ripley's Believe it or Not museum to L.A. for Kim Kardashian to borrow to walk up the stairs.

And please, if you have not looked at Kim Kardashian trying to get up the stairs in this tight dress, I do recommend that you watch it. She, by the way, immediately took it off as soon as she was done poorly walking up some stairs for this photo moment that she spent three weeks losing 16 pounds for, which is insanely unhealthy. and she was open about how she is, she was like, I didn't starve myself, I just didn't eat like much of anything.

She wore a sauna suit twice a day. She ran on the treadmill. She cut out sugar and carbs. She ate only veggies and protein, and she lost 16 pounds in three weeks. And that is dangerous. What she is, and then after the Metgala, she had a huge after party where they had unlimited donuts and pizza.

And she's like, now I'm going to gorge. And this is not good. This is like, this is very triggering for lots of people. It's also like, it is just not good for your body. This is a really bad example to set. All of these things that she's like, isn't that just being some gring? Like the privilege makes me want to puke with this. Yeah, and for what to?

And that's the thing. Yeah. For what the whole, it's not even. Like you said, Jackie, it's the, it's the lack of understanding of how. you are a public figure and speaking about your weight and eating like this is like in this day and age, do you not understand how incredibly triggering that is for people? Yes, but the thing is, MJ, is she doesn't give a shit. Yeah.

And she doesn't have to. Right. And that kind of like, I mean, in general, the Met Gallag could be seen as privilege in general, especially with what is going on right now, but it is a big fundraiser, and it's a big night for fashion. It's a big night for the MoMA, and it is, I understand where it comes from.

I don't think that people should just stop existing just because, you know, our government is burning our human rights to the ground. But... I'm not upset. But Kim Kardashian in the dress. And what I don't understand She even said that she spent

14 hours dyeing her hair to look like Marilyn Monroe. But then it was put back into a little bun. In fact, a friend of mine who is a very, very amazing hairstylist and color artist was like, look at how tiny her bun is in the back, though.

That's like, no matter how much money you have taking your hair back and forth from light to dark and light to dark really does take its toll on the thickness and the actual luxury of your hair. You see how tiny the bun is in the back. Well, and this is the same thing with our body.

Like how, no matter how rich you are, we are all just matter. Like, it's still a body. How can your body be, like, it can't be, where did your ass go? Like, I really truly want to know how can an ass, like, how could you just be like, I guess I'll just not have that. Like it is, can money truly buy like new hair material, new ass material? Like how is it that celebrities bodies are kind of treated as like, I guess my money will do this,

you know? Yes. And I mean, I guess it's just something that, you know, I guess if you are so used to having that level of wealth that you really. that you really can do. I mean, she wanted to wear the Maryland Nuro dress, and she did. And that is, like, for all intents and purposes,

like, that's an upper echelon of existence. Like, not just anybody can do that. And it does go to show that, like, celebrities especially, not even just celebrities, but wealth can get you almost anything. I mean, have you seen the jinx? I like that we're talking about this, hold him on to yell about this so badly,

but his internet went down, so he popped out, and we're just going to keep going. He's not going to be allowed to yell about Kim Kardashian. Oh, that's going to come back and just start screaming. There were some people that did a good job at the Met Gallo, though. I thought that there were some fits. Lizzo looked amazing.

And she had Sasha, her flute with her, And look up the outfit that Lizzo had on. She had, I don't know fashion words whatsoever. So I'm just gonna say it looked kind of boostier-ish. But then she had this gilded amazing, huge, like, cape gown thing up over it. And Sasha, her flute, she played while on the red carpet. That, yeah, I feel like this is the type of occasion that people like Lizzo,

can truly rise to. Yes. But it becomes, like, I don't know. I feel like we just did the Metgala. That was another, like, mind fuck I was having. I was like, didn't this just happen? Just happen. I thought it did, too.

But I guess that's just how time works. But I feel like it's the Lizzo's who don't get the Metgala coverage, and it's the Kim's who do. And I feel like that, in addition to all the other grievances with the Madgala, is one of like, why is Kim Kardashian so able to just be like, this is about me? Yeah. And then it is because it's all so much of it,

even though like Janelle Monet, Janelle Monet looked unbelievable. And like, this is what I'm talking about. Why isn't that? But of course, what do we immediately narrow in on the people that do the stunts? And, like, I mean, Blake Lively. her stunt actually was cool as shit. Have you seen the transformation dress that Blake Lively wore that like it was all bundled up and looked so beautiful and luxurious?

And I'm not always like I think that Blake Lively's fashion is awesome. I think that she does a fun job with it. But then on top of it, it was this big bustle that she let out and then the dress looked completely different. Now, gilded fucking glamour right there, she looked great. I, like, that is a stunt that I think works in this. Now, again, I don't know that much about fashion, but I don't really know why Kim Kardashian needed to wear the Marilyn Monroe dress for her. And maybe it's just because, like, in her brain,

Gilded Glamor was like Hollywood, old Hollywood fashion. But correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't, like, the, Gilded Age? Wasn't that a lot about like people posturing about being really wealthy when they weren't really wealthy? I'm literally looking up the Gilded Age right now because I think that we need to understand what it is. I'm pretty sure that that's what, like I think that that was a big part of it. I'll be the first one to admit that none of us know what the Gilded Age is. I don't know what the Gilded Age is. So let's be real. And so if Kim Kardashian doesn't know, that's fine. But you'd think the people doing the outfits would look it up. But that's the whole thing because the Met Gala, which I

started doing more research into the Met Gala. It is, it is for designers, the designers pay for the tickets and the money, the $17.4 million that they could certainly, and I'm not saying that Costume Institute doesn't need the $17.4 million, but maybe we could take the $17.4 million

and I don't know, put it into fighting for our reproductive rights. Yeah, like maybe, and I'm not, abortion clinics. I'm not saying that costuming is an, very important. I know that it is, but could we like maybe just siphon some of the money and just something that could help the people? I'm sorry.

I'm not having a mental breakdown because of it. I'm glad you asked, Jackie, the gilded age was this is such a strange theme for a party, roughly 1870 to 1900. And it was a period of time of rapid economic. growth. I guess we're talking about like industrialization. We're talking railroads. We're talking reconstruction. Yes. Now when I think Marilyn Monroe, I think railroad. I'm just like, oh, this bitch loves a railroad. Holden. Welcome back. We're literally looking up what the Gilded Ages.

And it turns out it was the late 1800s and it had to do with economics. Well, don't worry. They only have a point of reference of an entire television show on HBO literally called the fucking Gilded Age.

They could have perused and literally just take it. What article I read, I feel like I wish I could reference better this article because I'm totally taking this from that. But all they had to do is watch that show and just rip off one of those dresses and they would have looked at all, you know, more like, I mean, it is. Honestly, some of the choices are.

I think Billy Isles did a great job because she meshed her style. She wore something that is so not usually the kind of thing that she wears. She went outside of her comfort zone and she did the assignment. But again, she didn't do the assignment. The designer did the assignment. Right. And I don't know why Kim Kardashian was wearing Maryland or Rose dress. It makes no sense.

everything about it is like a waste of time. And you know what kind of annoys me? And maybe they like tried to do this and failed. And so like, let's just pull it back. We can't even do the hair. You can't even do the Marilyn Monroe hair and like look like Marilyn Monroe. So you're just wearing this fucking dumb dress that doesn't even look like much. Like it's not even that much of a standout.

And by the way, the whole thing is based on this fucking moment where this like woman is singing seductively happy birthday to the president of the United States of America. who is married and in kind of openly acknowledging an illicit affair that they had with each other and Jackie O's fucking face. It's just like, what? I just don't get, you know, and that's the whole thing of like, why they're like this prestigious historical moment. I'm like, what are you talking about?

This wasn't like a Nobel Peace Prize fucking award that Marilyn Monroe accepted. She was like being like, I can't wait to fucking suck your dick later tonight. behind your wife's back. You know what I mean? It's just like there's nothing about it that's like at least like the white dress with the great, the seven year rich dress. Right.

At least that's like a work of art. But you didn't even look like Marilyn Monroe. But it's not the Gilded Age. Everyone thought it was like glamour. It was like 20s or 50s glamour. They like, I think they just like heard Gilded Age and just decided or also everybody collectively was like

I'm going to be the rebel at this one. I'm just like not even going to attempt. Are you referring to Cody Smith McPhee? Cody Smith McPhee is the child actor from Let Me In, which is the, you know, I was going to say the cover of Let the Right One in. He was also in the road. He shows up. Holden brought this up, but I didn't even notice this picture from before.

It's so bad. Wearing white shirt jeans and then red latex glove. up to his elbows. He looks like a Williamsburg barista on like a Tuesday. Yes. You know what I mean? I just like that all the time. And it's just whatever.

I mean, I don't know. And you can tell me how that's good. But it's just that and also Sebastian stands, pink, hot pink, poofy, uh, ridiculous ass suit, quote unquote. It's just that looks like, again, just like leisure wear for a, fuck fate like a flamingos leisure i don't know leger Miami shithead on a sunday marketing

yes yes my please i know it's like i don't even know how to describe this stuff as i'm looking and i'm just baffled like completely baffled because yeah even a lot of the looks if they're not you know just ridiculous like that there's amy schumers hungover look did you see abe schumers oh my god that one was like is that a that's a that's a joke, right? I was, the whole thing, I was just like, all these people are evoking

like a certain time period, you know, but it's just not the Gilded Age, you know? So it was just like, it wasn't like period piece. It wasn't like evoke any time period. I don't know.

I don't know why it bugs me so much. I'm a rule follower. You know what I mean? I like following the rules. Like, yeah. If there is a theme party, you should, if you don't follow the theme to the letter

if you're inspired by some other shit, then fine, but at least make it creative. Don't be rich as hell with an abundance of resources and then not make, don't do something interesting. It's not even like you're just supposed

to show up to the Met Gala looking hot. You're supposed to do something interesting. Kylie Jenner's wedding dress with the backward turned giant white hat, baseball hat, looks so stupid and it's such a waste of time and it must be cost so much money and it has nothing again to do

with the fucking Gilded Age. It just makes you want to scream. It's like, why do we allow these people to, you know, be our stars in the sky. I don't get it. Yeah, highly generous is maybe the worst. So dumb. I mean, I don't know.

There's a lot of fucking people. Yeah, and also her sister Chloe, none of them are evoking the Gilded Age. Chloe's, again, kind of doing the Marilyn Monroe, like, what is that, 50s, right? 50s glamour, right? I mean, but then there were certain people like Ariana DeBose who's like, that outfit,

where she had like the gold crawlies up around her neck, that was sick. There were some people, because if you knocked it out of the park, you knock it out of the park. But I don't, the Kardashians, I just don't, I'll never understand it. I really don't get it. And I feel like if you don't follow the theme that you shouldn't be invited. I think the Kardashians just need to stop coming because it always becomes the Kardashian and fucking show every year. Right.

And, like, this party more than anything. And this time, it's like, why? Yeah, this time it's like, why? The only thing interesting about her look is the backstory behind how dumb it was, how idiotic she was about. Did you already talk about the Lillianhart reaction? No, I haven't.

Can we read her? Do you have that on hand? I can. Because I want to read that verbatim. She pretty much summed it up. I'm now a big Lillie Reinhardt fan. Ah, this is all what takes to get holding on the Lillie Reinhardt train. but were you not on the on the bang train for her before because I don't know she's fine to she's

so Lily Reinhart in reference to Kim Kardashian in what she wore she says to walk out a red carpet and to do an interview where you say how starving you are because you haven't eaten carbs in the last month all to fit in a fucking dress so wrong so fucked on hundreds of levels and to openly admit starving yourself for the sake of the Met Gala when you know very well that millions of young men and women are looking up to you and listening to your every word. The ignorance is otherworldly disgusting. And I agree.

Also, for the record, I would rather have, I would rather have penis enjoyment with Veronica over, uh, really? Wow, you watch the last episode if you come talk to us. I'm not watching, not stay away from that. We're mad at Veronica right now.

We're mad at Veronica right now, hold in. Yards away from any of that situation. Y'all, y'all have that. No, I appreciate, I really like Lily Reinhart as, as people, like, an icon for young people to look up to, as well as anyone to look up to, because she's very open about, you know, she doesn't like Photoshop things. She's very open about what she looks like. She posts a lot of pictures without makeup on. She's very, like, and of course, she's beautiful, so it's easier for that to happen. But it doesn't mean, but she also very open about how self-conscious she is.

And then she also has a lot of anxiety. And I appreciate that. and I appreciate that about the young people that are coming up. But then there's the Kim Kardashian that just like, hammer that back down. Yeah, and not for nothing, but I feel like a celebrity, like, in terms of status, a celebrity like Lily Reinhart, like, calling Kim Kay like a fucking monster, which she essentially does, is like, I hate to use the word brave, but I want to say it's brave. You know, like, because Kim Kay could totally be like, fuck you, Lily Reinhart.

I feel like that's very. good of Lily Reinhardt to stand up for. And it's just so fucking clueless. Like, again, we are not over here in the year 2008, like we just hit our rewind about when everyone was just fucking, you know, fatphobic and homophobic and transphobic and racist and just triggering as fuck. Obviously, all those things are all still there. But we at least are now in this time where celebrities try to be like, beauty at all sizes. Yeah. So to be like over here just like, yeah, I starve myself and I'm proud of it. It's just like, Only they could even get it fully zipped.

And like we said, she only made it up the stairs before having to, it's just so stupid. So much work just to walk up some stairs. I can't imagine. It's so useless. I can't imagine. And also just the way that she, like, watching her walk up the stairs was painful. But Jackie, she's an icon. And she's wearing the dress of an icon.

I guess. There was just, I will say there was some that, again, in the positive side, Vanessa Hudgens looked. I don't even know if that was the assignment, but I really am obsessed with it as a Hudgens outfit. And it is fun to watch, but one of the things we were yelling about while you were gone holding was that, like,

if they could have just taken the money that they raise and not give it to the costume institute, this one time and maybe disperse the funds to maybe charities that could help with some of the things that are going on currently. Okay, for abortions. How cool would it have been if, like, in the middle of the Meggala, they were like,

change of plans. We also saw that political story, and now all of the money is going to literally buy someone's abortion. How awesome would that be? And then Anna Wintour just like scowls herself into dust. And it's like, well, there she goes. Not blown away in the wind. I'll tell you what, even if they change the theme to abortion,

I think a lot of these looks would still fit in. Am I right? No, you know what I mean? Because they're all terrible. Yeah, there's some really bad ones. I just like, I don't know, because obviously we'll never know us. Plebes will never have any clue of what goes on inside. I'm sure that we could look it up.

But they don't, they famously don't allow pictures taken inside and, which I understand, you know, you got to keep us plebs guessing underneath. But it's got to be, like, they must be able to get drunk. Is this one of the ones where they get to, I know that there's lots of blind items always about them do it a bunch of blow cane in the bad ones. I was going to say, I feel like it's the cocaine night. It's like, it's like springtime cocaine blast.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. They've all been like being weird about food because of the stupid event. And so, yeah, they all the blow cane was afloan. Apparently, one of the blinds was Camilla Cabello did a bunch of blow the whole time and then snuck off for a quickie and a SUV at one point.

With whom? Just anybody. Was it with Sean Bendez? Just some man she grabbed. Yeah, definitely not John Bendez. Sean Mendez is apparently very gay. I mean, I don't know, but, you know, that's the blind on that. Literally, I've had to like... He could be whatever he wants wearing this fit. He looks great.

Great. Come on over here. I'll be... I'll do whatever. Every name you say, I'm just Googling, like, you know, Sean Mendez, MetGala, 2022. And most, almost every name you said, I've just been horrified. But then there has been a couple, like, Vanessa Hudgens does look great.

Now I'm looking at Sean Mendez also looks great. Oh, yeah. And it is, right? I really, I mean, I dig that fit 100%. I don't want to kiss him, though. Do you want to kiss Sean Mendes? No, but I think in that fit, I'd like to take the fit off of him and put it on Jeff and then the kissing can commence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and kiss Jeff in that outfit. That would be great. No, Sean Mende is not really my type. You don't like gay men? I mean, I do. I was going to say, I'm pretty sure if that is your day. Actually, that is J. I forgot.

Have you seen Legis before? Oh, God. That was a part in a heartstopper. I was just trying to get MJ to watch Heartstopper while we were talking in Riverdale Roundup because there's a scene when the young boy was like, like, his mother played by Olivia Coleman was just like, you love Pirates of the Caribbean. Let's watch Pirates of the Caribbean. She's like, remember you have such a crush on Kira Knightley?

And then it's just like all the scenes with Kira Knightley, but he's just staring. at Orlando Bloom in all of the like clippets of Pirates of the Caribbean I'm like I feel you baby oh I feel you you know but never I'm never a Pirates Orlando

I'm always a Leggolus forever and never in Elizabeth Town don't even get me started on Elizabeth Town now I'm just talking about Orlando Bloom We are The first person to mention Elizabeth Town literally since it was in the theater Yeah geez Louise

Elizabeth Taub. Oh my God. I was a bloomy. I mean, when you're a bloomy, you've got to be a bloomy through and through. Wow. Before we go on to talking about our celebrity conspiracy theory, I did want

to bring up this article that I'd sent you guys about Olivia Wilde getting served. Oh my God. I was going to see... On stage at Cinemacom. If this wasn't in the articles list, like I was going...

I had already in... the back of my head I was like definitely send this in if Jaggy doesn't include this so I'm so glad you did how fucking crazy is that I had to look at every little detail of this is it so insane that she was yeah served custody papers while on

stage during cinema con speaking about the film that she directed starring her lover Harry Styles and also watch the don't worry darling trailer because it looks like it's going to be fucking great and that is the movie that she was that she was promoting while on stage at cinema con.

And someone walked on stage and served her on stage. And I was like, how is that? There's a lot of people getting on stage right now that shouldn't be on stage. Dude, that's really like getting to me a little bit. Yes, that's exactly what I was about to reference. A man got on stage, tackled Dave Chappelle. I'm like, Chris Rock, by the way, was the next person. I know it's so weird that Chris Rock was there.

So weird. And Chappelle, obviously, we don't condone anyone attacking Chappelle. It is shitty that he immediately used it as a punchline against trans people. Did you guys see right after he got? He got the mic back and he said, it was a trans man. Oh, my God. I did not know that. You know, there's that.

Oh, fun. Oh, good. There's a lot of people going on stage right now. And we don't know. Where is security? There's no reason why I'm going to be able to serve. First of all, I think you could have found a different time to serve her during the event. Or get her when she's off, coming off stage, I guess.

Maybe. To do it while standing on stage. And like apparently, like, the article that I'd sent you guys, people were like, Jason Zadakas, I'm sure, did not plan this because you can't plan when a person is served. And I think he said he was like, I didn't mean for daemonauts because I, right, because I think, I mean, process servers are like, I'm like weirdly fast. fascinated by them. I don't really understand it, but, like, you know, they have to, like, you have to, like, you have to, like, if you don't take the paper, they, like, throw it at you.

It's, like, all this interesting, like, these weird, like, super formal rules about process serving, but I think people read that story, and they were like, fuck you, Jason Sedakist, you know, because it seems like a, you know, you just kind of transfer the dickness to him. Like, why would you serve your wife papers on stage? But, right. I think he was like, I didn't, I didn't ask him to do it. Well, but I like the checkings in this article. because it clarified some things. At the very least, he most likely did give them the information she's going to be at this event promoting her film. So, like, he's not totally absolved.

I'm sure he did not think that she would get served. Who would? Who would? And by the way, the fact that that would happen while I was on stage, like anything, if I got on stage and served me a pizza as a prank that someone else got, I would immediately just be like, I feel so vulnerable right now. I feel so, like, naked and alone on this stage because I don't think there's any over. oversight security-wise.

And so I feel like I could easily just be very quickly attacked. The other guy, by the way, at the Chappelle show, had a replica gun with a blade in it. How the fuck did that? I would just be so pissed in security. A knife inside a gun is such a funny weapon to me.

I know, by the same. With a knife. Life inside a gun. How did it inside something that's not banned? How do you get through security? Like, I don't understand. Like, we just went to. to go see Alice Cooper.

Yeah, and they took your mushroom pills. Yeah, they took everything out of my purse. I'm like, how did this person get in with a gun replica that has a knife to be inside of it? Oh, don't worry, it's just a fake gun. Let him through. Oh, my God. And so, God, it's not a gun. It's a knife.

I just feel like there's just been so many, like, different stories as of late. I mean, obviously the slap, things of, like, people going on stage when, like, you're supposed, you're already feel vulnerable when you're, you're, you're already feel vulnerable when you are on stage in front of people. And then to just be like, you're just, you got no pants on, your ass is up in the air essentially now? That's how it feels, right? It's such a betrayal.

And I know maybe people think I'm being overdramatic, but it's gross. It's not cool. You're already standing up in front of a ton of people. It's, you know, the fact that we have to now fear at all for safety. You know what? I even wanted to be in the camp of like, oh, my God, the knee-jerk reaction after the slap was like,

now people are going to just start doing this. Well, I'm starting. starting to feel like they might be right. I wanted to give it a shot and be like, you know, we'll see. Hopefully this doesn't lead to that. But so far, I ain't convinced. That is so not cool. And that's what, all I want to do is perform live again.

I'm so excited to do it. And this definitely puts a little bit of a shit in my bowl of soup. I hate shit soup. Yeah, don't you hate when you're like, what soup is this special today? This tastes like shit. They're like, it is in this shit to soup. Whoa, why are you even allowed to be operating at this point? It doesn't even make any sense.

Custody papers, do like, can you imagine, you're up there, you're like vulnerable, and then, like, the most terrifying thing that could happen to you as a parent of, like, a custody battle, like, not being able to, like, have your child happens when you're on stage. You just, like, I would just fucking burst into tears, like, spontaneously combusts. She handled it like a pro, by the way. She was just like, oh, okay, people thought it was a big. in the audience. I was wondering,

I was like, how did people know they were custody papers? But I guess that came out afterwards. Yes. Because at first I was like, did she like acknowledge

that they were custody papers on stage and like had to just stop this thing? But no, instead she was like, oh, okay, got it. Thanks. And like kept moving with her thing. She even said,

what is this a script? Like she thought it was like some weird, also like maybe a weird bit or something. Because the process server probably said you've been served because that's the thing I think that they have to say. And so everybody knows that that,

everyone knows that. what that means. Man, what a weird thing. Like, I feel bad for almost everyone involved, maybe including Jason Sadecas, because again, I don't think that he meant for it to be like this. But you're right old, but weird timing. Go to her show is kind of like a, you know, go to her event. The article also mentioned tickets to that is like $2,500 or something like that. So it's like, did they really spend that much money to embarrass this person on, it's just so bizarre. I have no idea. It doesn't. And like, in, like, in. they even said in the article too about like if she had been avoiding being served that also

would have been but like there's no like she's a huge celebrity promoting her own movie right now we know where she is right right it's difficult to find her at any other time after the event yeah just afterwards but oh jesus sedekas i still love you ted lasso i love you um i'm in love with him i'm not in love with jesus ad deacon so i'm in love with ted lasso just like everybody else I love him. All right. But we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about a celebrity conspiracy theory.

I actually am here to continue to talk about Elizabeth Town. Oh, 2005 film with Pirsted Dunst. You know, it wasn't as good. I remember I had the movie poster. It wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. But he had that curly, dark brown hair in it. And I was like, oh, it's a different look, but like I think I'm into it. What happens in it?

It's boring. It's boring. It's very boring game. It was a punchline at the time. Like, how for her nobody liked it? At the time. The fact that Jack who just brought up Elizabeth town, it's blowing my mind right now.

It was like 2007. Nobody liked it. Yeah, but Jessica Biel is in it. Let me get this, all right, aspiring young shoe designer, Drew Baylor. Why are you making fun of the list? Gets fired from his high-profile job after the failure of his latest project

to make matters worse. His girlfriend, Ellen, leaves him, and he becomes suicidal. Drew's morbid plans are interrupted by the news of his father of death. God, this guy can't get a break. And he is called back to his Kentucky hometown. On his flight home, he meets the lovely Claire

played by Kirsten Dunst, a sunny flight attendant who tries to help him embrace life. Once again, this is straight up a Hallmark movie that was made as like a major feature release. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Elizabeth Town. I'm not in there. Wow. At least there's a good amount of eye candy in there, you know?

I mean, outside of, Little Women, always been a big Kristen Dunst fan. She did a great job in Little Women, but that's why I hated her, quote, unquote, for such a long time. It has a one and a half star, a 28% on the tomato. Well, don't get me started. Hook has a 26%. So we don't always need to go with the thermometer of rotten tomatoes, okay? Apparently it was lost in undeveloped plot lines and lackluster performances.

Stop looking at the rotten tomatoes, you don't understand. Oh my God. Where are we even at at this point? We're at the Celebrity Conspiracy Theory. All righty. I hope you're excited for it. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it?

The case of John Poozak. Excuse Zach? Yes. This one is legit. Really good. Thank you so much. It comes in from Anonymous. Don't worry.

I will not say your name. And this person says, Holden. I've been wanting to send this to you for so long and now's the time. I don't know why this was the time. Other than chaos rains and I think you feel that right now. The world has officially started to end.

We thought it started in 2020. We actually started this week. Just like Riverdale. Yep. Just like Riverdale. Yeah. The apocalypse is nigh. It was written foretold

if everyone, literally everyone attending the Mechala ignored the assignment that that would be the beginning of the collapse. The apocalypse. I work in the film and TV industry. in the UK, so have untold petty dirt on various celebs.

Ooh, la, la. The joy I get from page 7 is immense. The day I walked on set and told everyone about Tom Cruise's fish fucking was one of the best days of my professional career. We all had heard Tom Cruise stories from the poor souls that worked on the mummy over here, but fish fucking in supermarkets around the world, incredible. Oh, yes. Years ago, I was chatting with a facilities captain.

My job is always made easier by being friends with everyone. Yes, first rule of a film set, make friends with everybody. Do not ignore the hierarchy that they try to impose. Just befriend everyone, from the lowest grunt to the biggest talent. So I often chatted to this guy. Middle-aged, portly, and lovely Welshman could drink anyone under the table. And he regaled me with stories from other jobs through his decades-long career. And as the guy in charge of this facility's vehicles, including the cast trailers, man does he have

some stories, but there is one that stands out amongst them all, John Poussack. Years ago, this guy was looking after the vehicles for a John Cusack film shooting in the UK. After day one, he knew it wasn't like anything else he'd ever experienced. Turns out, every morning John gives himself a coffee inima in the trailer shower. Not only does John do this, but he just lets that inima coming streaming out of him, along with the last 24 hours worth of poop, and just, just leaves the whole literal shit show in the shower stall. The shower isn't even turned on. There's a lot of all caps going on right now.

There was no attempt to clean up at all. The poor facilities guy that found this went running to the captain, quite rightly horrified. They did their best to clean it up, thinking it a one-off day two. The exact same thing happens. Coffee grounds and shit as far as the eye can see. No.

They went to the producers to flag the biohazard situation, but what could they do? Tell John to stop pooping in the shower? Yes. You can barely tell Cass no now, let alone back when this happened. So they ended up paying the facilities guys cash in hand to deal with John's daily mess and not involve a professional in a hazmat suit show up every morning. You might think, oh, this is just one drunk Welshman story.

You made it up, right? Right? A few years later, as I was telling another team on another job about Poussac and how Joan deserves a better brother with the costume supervisor. Printing something in the corner. I love Joe Cusack so much. I love John Cusack too. When the costume supervisor printing something in the corner of the truck looked up at me like the ghost of Christmas pass had just boob punched her and said,

I'll never work with him again. Yes, the poor woman was still beyond traumatized as she had also worked on that job with Puzak. She said, I've never had to buy so many repeat trousers. That's right. John wasn't even cleaning himself up post-inima. What? costume trousers were a mess. What?

What are you talking about? What? Earth-shattering celebrity conspiracy. Every day, I know, I was really excited. Wow. Every day the costume girls had to put them through the wash as they were covered in poop and stagged high heaven. Some, they just had to bin and start fresh.

Yeah. The costume budget and cash in hand, biohazard budget was immense. A conspiracy or a horrifying truth. You decide. Anonymous production, Hun. Oh, my God, of course it's true. This is like the fish fucking.

Yeah, this is like the fish fucking of 2022, I think. Wow. Wow. Poohzac. I, I mean, I believe, I believe in Pusack. That is disgusting. Why would you want? Some people can only poop if they shove a finger up their ass.

Some people get in bad situations with, pooping. They get too used to something and then it becomes the only way their butt will respond. You remember the My Strange Addiction episode with the Coffee Enemas? The My Strange Addiction episode, they were doing it up to four times a day. Oh my gosh. So what's the deal with coffee enumas? Can you give me some more details on that, Jackie? I mean, they flush the coffee up inside of them and then it makes all the shit come out. What? It's like they took, okay, so in the My Strange Addiction. Because I've never done an enema? I've never done an animal before. Me neither. But like, And I know that there's ways where you can just put like a, you know, like a tube or like a pill up there.

I think that that helps. Yeah, there's suppository. Right. It's suppository. But with the enema, if I remember correctly from the My Strange Addiction, I only know because of this My Strange Addiction episode is that it was like a tube that they would make the coffee. That they would make the coffee and then they would lay down and let the gravity. So like they lay down and the coffee is up top. So the tube would come from the coffee into their ass.

And so it would flow in. I've seen top girl. Of course. I know this. And then they would pull it out, but they would have to do it laying down on their belly in the bathroom so they could get up and immediately because as you stand up, it starts and it just like whooshes right out of you. Wow. So they have to do it. But then the people in my strange addiction couldn't leave the house because they were addicted to it needed.

Like they couldn't do it anywhere else. Because it just felt so good to get all your people. Yeah. And they're like, because I'm completely clean and I need to be completely clean. Why would you just go to the bathroom when you can completely clean yourself out and it's because it's not good for you and like you said, hold it's because you get,

your body gets used to it and so then you think that you, like you do get addicted to it. Oh, I read a whole thing on Reddit I think is where I saw this where a guy, you know, a guy and I think there were some other people as well that also had the same situation where they literally have to use a finger up there

to like get it to like get a poop to start because they, you did it a couple times you know, and then all of a sudden your whole, because your butt is a fickle mistress. You've got to like kind of train your ass a little bit. You know what I mean? And my, my, my, and it can't come from force because you can't push, you don't want to do all that.

You've got to relax and you've got to let your butt sort of like, you get the squatty party, I've got my bidet, you've got all the things, man. You've got to train that thing. And for me, like, I'm very consistent in the morning. I know every listener wants to know what my BM situation is. Oh, thank God. Hold and selling.

Very consistent. And you know what? I am also slightly relying on coffee. I don't, it doesn't need coffee. But usually that is like the thing that makes it go, oh. Coffee helps. It's time. You know?

And then I waddle over to the toilet. But that's coffee at your mouth, not coffee up your ass. No, of course it's not coffee by assing, Jay. Who knows? But by the way, I also think if anyone's listening to this who's familiar with a roundtable a gentleman, I think John Cusack might be the mystery pooper. I think so as well. I think John Cusack got into y'all's home and shit in your tub.

And then my now wife stepped in it and I'll never forget it. And I can't look at her feet the same way ever since. How I want to know how this has not come out earlier. I do believe, just for the record. I do believe. Right. But how, just like the fish fucker. I mean, I guess it's just a rumor mill.

And John Cusack is a powerful. And I mean, that makes sense. Yeah, exactly. You're powerful. These people don't, you know, they don't want, any difficult. I mean, even this person might be putting their career slightly on the line telling us about this.

I don't know. I don't know how it works. Tom Cruise hasn't come after us yet. I think that we're okay with the Pusacks. Unless you're listening, John Cusack, which you probably are. And if you need to send in a rebuttal or if you just need to convince us further, not that I need it, because you're Pusack to me forever. So we've got Tom Fischucker Cruz and we've got John Pusack.

And I don't think I ever can. Unthink this. And you know, I don't want to, if anyone else out there needs to put coffee up their butt to poop, it's like on the one hand I don't want to judge. On the other hand, just poop in the potty. You know? Yeah, I don't support it. You got to fix it. You got to figure that out.

That's not. In the potty. That's not a way to be in the shower. Or I guess if you're going to do it clean up after yourself, you do generate. If it needs to be the shower, then you, that's on you. Like you, if you choose to poop in the shower, you choose to clean it up. Yes. That is the editorial stand.

here. Wow, and do you believe Holden, you must believe? 100%. Yeah, I believe my people and that's my people. Your poople more like, uh-oh, it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jay, gotta have that list. Actors who almost played a different role in the same series. Oh my God. Heath Ledger also auditioned for Batman before Christian Bale took the role.

Ledger was up for the Dark Night, but he had turned it down. So he was up for Batman, and he chose to not be Batman, but he did be the Joker instead. A better choice. If you gave me a choice between being Batman or the Joker, I would choose the Joker. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's so much more fun. And obviously, you know, he did a very, very good job of it. And other people that did a good job.

Uh-oh, it's Tom Felton. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm that Draco Malfour. Drake out of Malpho in the Harry Potter series. Tom Felton also auditioned to be Harry Potter himself, but in turn ended up being his nemesis instead. I mean, I've definitely gone in for many things where they're like, oh, you're not right for this,

or like just openly being like, you're too plus-sized to be this, so why are you reading for this one? They just like go through them like, oh, is it funny or is it fat? Yeah, I don't know. Just give me the character. I'll read for it. you're too like spatially sort of in the room. Spacially, expansive is what I am.

Thank you so much. No, no, no. I love it. I say as if the, as if Hollywood gives a shit, no, they just go straight up, call me fat. You're like the universe? You're like constantly expanding. Yeah. I am my own universe.

Thank you very much. You are correct. I'd almost wish I would love to see them try to come up with the lingo. The lingo sometimes is like, okay, just call me fat. It's fine. I get it. Yeah, exactly. But Rain Wilson was also auditioned to be Michael Scott.

As this to the regional manager? No, regional manager Wilson auditioned for Michael before ending up as Dwight Shrewd. And I don't care about Benedict Cumberbatch. Yes, I said it. I don't care of a shit. I'm not reading that portion of the list. We just did a Dr. Strange episode for Which of the Bruiser, so I hold him in the only do care about Benedict Cumberbatch.

I'm happy for you. Are you going to go see the new what's his strangies, Mr. Strange? If my baby all of a sudden becomes a teenager that can take care of themselves, then yes, I will go.

That's a really good idea. Have you asked her yet? I met a man named Merlin on the street. I think he may just be out of a job and sort of sleeping out there, but he may also have magical powers. We shall see. You should probably check it out,

but did you know that Amanda Seafried and Lindsay Lohan also auditioned to be Regina George in Mean Girls. Now, this makes a lot of sense that apparently all of them auditioned for all of the roles. Yeah, that just feels like, yeah, they all just, yeah, they trade the scripts around. I mean, that's, that makes complete sense. It's like a normal audition process. Yes, and that kind of stuff happens a lot. But I would have been interested to see Tom Hiddleston play Thor instead of Loki,

although he is very good as someone that is new to being in the... I mean, loki. He's so good as Loki. He's great as Loki. Yeah, he's perfect as Loki. Yes. And the Thor movies is what got me into finally being like,

all right, fine, I'll start watching the nerd, the nerd books. And I like the nerd books now, okay? May the Fault be with you. Oh, Star Wars. I'm a star. Are you a hater on May the Fourth be with you, Holden? Because you hate the internet. It's fine.

I don't know. Yeah, exactly. Because I hate, I do, I hate internet shit like that. You hate people having fun on the internet? Yes, I hate people having fun on the internet. I hate people having fun of the internet. I hate people having fun of the internet. Yeah, all of it.

I hate it. I completely get it. And I, um, I, I always think though of Freddie and I all never forget Freddy's birthday because I remember when you gave birth and I was like, Gideon must be so happy that his first baby is born on May the 4th. He, he told the OB, like, you know, I, For other reasons, he was advocating that the baby be born because I was so desperately sick. But he was like, also, doctor, it is May the 4th.

And so wouldn't it be great if my kid had the birthday May the 4th? And the doctor was like, excuse me, what? But then the next day, the doctor came in and was like, hey, you got me some points with my kids because I went home. And I said, do you know that it's Star Wars Day? And the kids were like, yeah, we know it's Star Wars Day. So that was kind of. We love you again, Daddy. your god on the time being a doctor and never have time for us.

The only, by the way, I just want to clarify, the only thing I do like on the internet is when someone goes viral for something innocuous, like the guy who found the weird thing in his cereal, but then he gets canceled because they immediately dig up some comedy set three years ago. That's my favorite. That's the head. The shrimp. The shrimp in the citadel. That's the one.

The shrimp in the chest and it ruined his life. You like that. So funny. But you don't. Don't like it when people are like, yes, queen or whatever. Yeah, so we're happy. Yeah, no, no. Or like, don't at me yet or whatever.

Yeah. And go. I need to get my nails. I don't know where. It would be easy to look it up, but you tell me. And go, please. This is my favorite one. We'd get hold of talking about why he hates the internet. He always has a different example of completely innocuous things people say each time.

And I love how angry you get because of it. Last but not least, Jada Pinkett Smith, I'm not talking about the Slap, did audition to be Trinity instead. Pinkett Smith didn't work as Neo's companion, but then the Wichowski's created Naobi, just to have her in their movie series. I've never, I don't think, said her name aloud, but I did recently watch all of the Matrix movies. I did it. I consumed them. And that is your list for ye plebs and go.

My God. Hold their line on them, go! Oh, my God. Everybody knows what everybody knows, but do you know this? No. I think I'm going. Blind items. We can't see them.

That's right. Blind items. We've got some Met Gala ones, but first, strange hookup. This Egot winner, who made a much-talked about television appearance not that long ago, had a months-long relationship with this former daytime talk show host turned nighttime talking head slash sometime host. So let me break this down for you. The television appearance was on the Oscars.

Riza Minnelli. Yes. And the other one, this is giving it away too much. Just kind of hacky, daytime talk show guy. We just know that. No, but in the same lane. Also an Egot winner? No.

Okay. Ryan Sechrest. Oh my gosh. No, older than that. Liza Minle and Ryan Seabrest. Yeah. Would you burn that tape? Yeah.

Oh, okay. I'll watch it. I'd watch it. No. This guy, big mustache. Dr. Phil? Something about a vault. It was something about a vault in there. Not Dr. Phil?

Not Dr. Phil, but he's a daytime talk. Okay. Jackie had it in the game. Daytime talk show. Yeah. Old school. A vault launched his career. Haraldo.

Yes. Heraldo Rivera and Liza Minnelli. Do you believe it? Yeah, he like, thought that there was, he found some sort of vault and there was going to be something important in the vault and then nothing was in the vault. Nothing was in it, but it launched his career because it was this huge live television event. It was also the vault in Chicago.

It was the, what's his, Al Capone's vault. Oh. And it was this live television event while they cracked it open and then they cracked it open. There was literally nothing. I believe it. I completely believe it. I think the lies in Al Capone's vault?

Yeah, I think so. All right. And they're like, oh, is there nothing inside? Wow. There's about to be. You're believing everything today, Jackie. You're believing all sorts of things, even the most absurd of things. Yeah, well, in my brain, I thought it was,

I also like, if he was also in EGOT, I was like, oh, Andrew Lloyd Weber. And I also, like, just like creak and just like, eh, e, e, like now. Okay, but Liza Bedele and Andrew Lloyd Weber probably have fucked. That's just like, have to have. Have to have.

Small world, same circles. Jackie, Merrill Streep may or may not have fucked a space alien named Slorgo, do you believe? I mean, yeah, I believe. And also, now that's a Sophie's choice that I could get before. All right. We got to get her to some sort of mental specialist.

It's believing everything. It's because I couldn't talk for like five days. It's because of laryngitis. So now I feel like I'm back. I feel like a crazy person. All right. Here's some Mets stuff. This one's kind of juicy.

It's kind of fun. There were two actresses from a hit streaming show that as hard as they tried, couldn't get invites because the editor hates their show. She hates when people talk about it. So there was no chance of an invite. from anyone on it, this show. So Anna Wintour hates the editor. Yeah, Anna Wintor hates the show.

It's a streaming show. We know it's not Riverdale. We know it's not Riverdale. Something about, is it something about fashion? Is it like a project runway? Is it a... It's also very much a streaming show. It is very connected to the streaming service

that it is on. It's very like, you know, what's like the hot biggest? I mean, it's kind of like not as huge as it was at one point, but it was literally the biggest original streaming IP for a second there. Oh, well, I know that's not Maisel because Rachel Brom. No. House of Cards is what I associate with the biggest.

Sci-fi. Oh, Stranger Things. Yes. But David Harbor was there. Wasn't David Harbor there? Oh, was he? Oh, yeah, he was there, wasn't he? Well, still, Millie Bobby Brown and Sadie Sink.

Oh, but they were. So maybe she's got a bone to pick with them. Why does she be? You would think Millie would be there, too, because Millie Bobby Brown's, like, really I know, right? I love that Anna Wintour has like an irrational hatred of the show Stranger Things. It's like a show about little kids.

I hate the show. I hate Dungeons and Dragons and I hate aliens. I hate it. Charming 13-year-olds. Like what? If a regular person hated Stranger Things, I would be like, sure, it's not everyone's cup of tea. But the idea of Anoetor just being like,

don't let them in. Since it's your first day at Vogue, I'm going to let you in on something. if you mention Stranger Things, Anna Wintour will literally climb up the walls and she will pounce you. She will attack you. She'll claw your face off. I'd actually love to see that. She becomes a gorgon or whatever.

No wonder she's still alive. Maybe that's why. Maybe she's one of the gorgons or whatever. And then on the inside that her face is going to open up into petals with all the teeth. Yeah. Gorgon, more like snorgon. Am I right? Good one, Alden.

All right, last one. After my own heart, this A-plus list singer who's amazing and everyone loves her, was invited and was expected to attend up until about a week to 10 days prior to the show. Apparently, there is a secret about to be revealed, and the gala was not the place it was going to be. So do you think it's pregnancy or do you think it's a record? I think she has not, so. It's Tisway. You don't see this smile on Holden's face, but hopefully you can hear it. Yes, he's like, yeah, he's smirking.

Yeah, maybe now, I was thinking it's her next big album. I mean, you know, she's probably putting out 1989 Taylor's version next. But who knows? I would love to hear some new music. So you do think it is a new album even though it's the same album. Now that you mentioned pregnancy, it is the same album. She keeps doing these big drops. And I hate to say this, I'm very proud of her of like overcoming and redoing.

But like, it's just the same album, isn't it? Well, this is the cool thing about 1989 is from what I've read, like there's almost an album's worth of From the Vault stuff. Oh, okay. Then that's fine. And like, each time she's released one, she has these From the Vault songs. So you can at least get hype about those,

and especially for 1989, which I do believe is technically her best album. My personal favorite's reputation. But I think that 1989 is like track for track, her strongest album. And so that will be a bit of an event. But you're probably right, actually. She probably can't hide.

If she's pregnant, she's probably showing at this point. based on when those rumors were spitting around. Because you can hide an album release, but you cannot hide a pregnancy at a certain point. That is true. Also, it should be noted, apparently she met Joe Alwyn at the Met Gala and the song Dress.

If you want to believe, even though some people think Dress is about her and what's her name, that hot model lady, but still, apparently the song Dress is about them meeting at the Met Gala, which makes sense because it's called Dress. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, totally makes sense. So can you see again? Yeah, I can fucking see, Jackie.

There he is. There he is. We're yelling here on page seven. And thank you so much for joining us for our yell zone today. I feel good, though. I think I needed to get it out. Yeah. I needed to just ejaculate my feelings.

Ajaculate. Why do I never say ejaculate? Wow. Wow. Right into Al Capone's fault. They said there was nothing in there. Oh, why is it all sick? There's nothing in here but a bunch of cubs.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. You can follow me on Instagram of Jack That Worm. You can also check me out over on Twitch.com. Oh, no, it's Jackie. Please come hang out with us on Mother's Day. We are banging daddies for Mother's Day. We are so close to banging bad daddy.

Lisa Rose and I are like so close And I am so excited So please come watch You're talking about a cumulation Come hang out And it's gonna be the best I'll post about it on my Instagram Love it check me out on Twitch

Twitch.tvonatres ho If you would like some fun streaming as well Monday Tuesday Friday Friday we do Jackin with the Holdies It's always a party Yeah baby This week is actually on Thursday though If you're listening to this right when it drops

But still it is good time and you should join us. Also, patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast every single week. We have bonus audio content. And at the $10 layer, you can join us on Discord for Jersey Shore. Thursday,

sure. Every Thursday, we watch Jersey Shore with a group of fun-ass people and get high, and we're drunker than the Lord would like. And it's always very fun. So come join us on that. And page, the number seven podcast. at gmail.com page seven podcast gmail.com.

Please keep sending your conspiracies, especially if you worked on a lot of sets and you have awesome dirt like the John Puzak thing. That was amazing. Thank you so much. MJ! My name is MJ and I'm MJKLKat on Insta. Hell yeah.

Thank you guys. You ready for the song for the shout-out song? Shout! Shout! Shout! Let it all out. These are the emails that you read. wrote it about come on we're got to read it to you come on uh thank you guys so much for always sending

in such amazing shoutouts and i want to say thank you extra for all of the april reels day love i feel it so much and i just love hearing y'all's experiences with april's day and i really appreciate the beautiful feedback that you've been sending and it's just been, ugh, you guys are the best and thank you so much. And if you've got a shout out that you want to send in, you can send it in to page seven podcast at gmail.com. That is seven the numbers. So it's page seven podcast at gmail.com. I read absolutely everything and I appreciate yo. My first shout out goes out to Shannon and thank you so much for the self shout out. Shannon says, I've been listening to you all since the early days and have been waiting to give myself a shout out for a long time.

You all have been a source of joy for me through major points in my life. I'd binge the show as we renovated our house six years ago, listened as I was chained to my desk at my office job, and really looked to you all, and especially Twilight Book Club, my Twy babies, during the rough days of pandemic. I have so many great memories of listening while picking up a new and unexpected running habit, congrats, and in early holiday mornings on the treadmill. The parade stream is my new favorite Thanksgiving tradition. I was trying to get pregnant listening to Holden announce Lexi's pregnancy and have a daughter the same age as MJ's oldest.

So I finally want to give myself a shout out for using the last two years to be better to myself. So much has happened. I got pregnant and had a baby. I realized I hated my job. And yesterday I finally got a job offer that had been a long time, coming. Congrats, baby! Listening to the shoutouts each week has given me hope that I would have something to be proud of too, and I feel genuinely so happy for each one that you read. Oh, and I do too. Thank you so much, Shannon, for your amazing words. I love you so much, and congratulations!

I want to send a shout out to Natalie A. who wrote in about their own friend groups, April Reels Day, is called Cinco de Ocho. And yes, they know that it doesn't mean anything. It's just a joke because they said, my husband and his drunken glory, declared our own holiday, Cinco de Ocho, because they get together around May 8th every year. Cinco de Ocho consists of a taco or burrito barro, homemade margaritas, and a fast and furious movie. Why that franchise? Because one person in our group utterly dislikes the series and cannot tell the rock apart from Van Diesel. No. In Fast 6, he was extremely confused by the plotline because one guy couldn't be in so many places at once.

So every year, we force him to choose which movie we watch, it's never in order, grab our dogs, sharks and margs, and drunkenly scream at the TV and take three hours to watch a one-and-a-half-hour film because there's no so much pausing and rewinding to go on. Fast and Furious is all about the family you choose. And Cinco de Ocho celebrates that family to its fullest. Happy early Cinco de Ocho, Natalie, and to all of your friends, and thank you so much for sharing this with me. I love Cinco de Ocho, and now I want to start celebrating Cinco de Ocho, so thank you for bringing another beautiful holiday into my life. And speaking to April Reels, Liz, thank you so much.

Liz says, I'm a little behind the curve because I finally caught up on the April Reels stream, and this is my first time watching April Reels Day. And it's obviously like a crazy emotional roller coaster to watch, but I just wanted to give big props. to something in particular. The three of you do such an incredible job modeling how to give feedback in a kind, constructive, meaningful way. I've been struggling with giving constructive feedback for forever, but it's been something I've been working on. And watching April Reels, I feel like the three of you are so expertly modeling how to give and receive feedback in a meaningful way. It's so helpful to see. You literally never see depictions of how to give and receive feedback

constructively in media. And so many of us learn it in the wrong way from either fighting, giving harsh critique, or literally just holding it in forever. I'm sure it feels probably the most vulnerable thing ever, but like it's so helpful to watch. I had to give harder feedback to a coworker this week, and like, obviously, it wasn't a big emotional crying situation, but to watch adults give and receive feedback in a kind, safe space was a pretty big breakthrough for me.

Y'all rule, love Liz. Thank you so much, Liz, for saying that, and that's why we post up the April Reels over on our Patreon. You can go and check it out. I think that it is important for us to learn how to comfortably talk to each other about difficult things because yelling about it or giving too harsher criticism, no one's going to listen to that, would you? So thank you so much, Liz, for writing that in. I really, really appreciate you taking the time. And we've got a love bug.

It's the love bug. It's Chelsea the love bug. I'm saying that not in a bug bad way, but in a love bug good way. Chelsea is zending in a shoutout for their fiancé Dakota. Chelsea says we're both huge fans of the network and bought tickets for the Nashville Jamboree. Congratulations. Yeah, I'll see you there.

The road trip, Airbnb stay and show are actually going to be our honeymoon. And we're both so excited to see everyone in the show. Oh, I can't wait to see you too. Dakota, you're the sweetest human being I've ever met. You're so incredibly kind, talented, and creative, not to mention crazy handsome. You're the love of my life. We've been together for eight amazing years, and I feel so lucky and grateful to wake up next to you every day. I'm beyond excited to be your wife.

Ah, congratulations! Dakota's had a rough couple of years. He lost both his stepdad and dad due to COVID complications. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's been very hard for us to remember how to enjoy life the way we used to. But we promised each other we would make new and exciting memories for us to look back on. Thanks again. Chelsea. Thank you so much, Chelsea, for writing in. And I'm so sorry, Dakota, for going through that, but I'm so proud of you guys for overcoming it, and life goes on. And I'm so happy. I know that it's difficult. Believe me, I know it's difficult. But congratulations. Oh, I'm so happy for you guys, and I'll see you at Nashville. Okay, E.J., you're right. Crox is a good company. E.J. sent in a letter talking about how Crox is actually a really good company,

and that MJ can feel good about supporting them. And they said, hear me out. The Marshall fires outside of Boulder, Colorado, on December 30th, 2021, were the most destructive fires in Colorado history. Over 1,000 homes were destroyed, and over 60,000 acres were burned. Thank you, Wikipedia.

Now Crocs has always been based out of Colorado, and their headquarters are right in the heart of the firelands, but I'm pretty sure they were left unharmed. In an effort to support all of those who were impacted by the fires, the beautiful little company has donated over 30, thousand pairs of crocs to all employees and every single student in the Boulder Valley School District. Again, never thought I'd wear a pair, but our school got our delivery last week, and wouldn't you know, I actually kind of enjoy my freebie. They're bright yellow when some of the

teachers have started calling them my duck feet. They are now my yard shoes and I happily wear them any time I need something easy to cozy up on the foots. So feel good about cozying up and your own footsies and a pair of crocs because the company is awesome and supports their local community. I appreciate you, E.J. for backing up your hard facts, but also they said, but the sentiment is all mine. And be kind to teachers and all school employees. Teaching is hard. Kids can be assholes. You're down straight. Parents, please thank us a little more often for not ringing your whiny brats next. P.S., happy teacher appreciation week to all my fellow teachers. Oh, sincerely us, E.J. Thank you so much, E.J. And thank you.

Thank you for teaching our children and having the patience because Lord knows. I only did summer school and that. I didn't know if I would get through all of my sincerest thanks go out to all of our teachers. You guys are killing it in ways that I could never. And last but not least, I want to send a shout out to Sunny. Sunny from Trenton, New Jersey. I just want to say thank you so much for taking the time. write in. And you don't need to apologize for your mistakes in the email. You're adorable and I just

want to kiss your face. Thank you so much, Sunny for being so open. Sunny says, you guys have added an extra touch of light to my life, even when I'm in my darkest spots, more so recently, because things have been really tough for me. I broke up with the woman of my very young life. I know, I know I'm still young. Sunny's only 22, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt Sonny! I've dealt with one of my best friends passing, and in the last few weeks I've been trying to put my life on track. Things have been weighing on me so hard, and I've been so ready to give up on everything. However, today, like I usually do, I put on my podcast episodes for my day at work, and then finally got to your guys's episode, do you not like sensory pleasure? You guys made me laugh, as you guys always do, but something just made me so happy to have your podcast to listen to,

and just felt like I had to reach out to y'all. And no, I'm not hiding in my room on the verge of tears because of you guys. Okay, well, maybe just a little. But to help you guys constantly give me by just being some of the most funny, badass, amazing people to ever grace this planet is overwhelming. I feel like I've talked too much at this point, which you have it, Sonny, and you don't need to apologize this much, especially in an email. I love you so much, and I appreciate you writing in, and thank you so much for sharing your, vulnerable thoughts and what you've been going through, and I just want you to know that us and our community are always here for you. Come hang out with us over on our Twitch community. The community

that we have over on, oh no, it's Jackie, and on Holdenators Ho is really unbelievable. I've made some really great friends through there, and I hope that everyone can come and hang out. Come hang out with us on Mother's Day. Me and Lisa Rose are going to be hanging and banging daddies, and our community is just, I don't know what I would do without them. And I don't know what I would do without you guys. Thank you guys so, so much for listening and for supporting us and for being such kind, big-hearted individuals. I love you.

We'll be back next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.