Page 7 - Ep. 449: I Am Pro-Sorcery

Episode Date: May 19, 2022

Jackie's backie! And after she casts MJ and Holden into her Hotline Bling Hell we're gossin' 'bout Holden's DragCon experience, Jackie's Multiverse of Madness...madness, Elizabeth Olsen lying and passing a polygraph test, GOOP's latest...thing, Megan Fox adding a hole to her designer jumpsuit, Julia Fox going to the store, Bette Midler has a big brain moment on twitter, Kendall Jenner attempts to cut a cucumber! And in celeb conspiracy corner;  Is Dwayne the Rock Johnson a CIA agent who helped take down Bin Laden!? The List, Blindz, and SHouTz! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Have you been dying to see us live? Then get psyched about the last podcast network, Country Jamboree, at the Rhyman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee on June 18th. Jackie, we're not at the Country Bear Jamboree, but I am grinning like a possum, eating a sweet tater. Because we'll have all your favorite LPN family out and performing live, including last podcasts on the left, page seven,

Wizard and the Bruiser, No Dogs in Space, Brider Side, fraudsters, someplace underneath, the story must be told, and more. Tickets available now. Again, that's the Rhyman Auditorium on June 18th in Nashville, Tennessee. The last podcast network, Country Jamboree! What? Don't you dare. There was this kid. Don't dare.

I've already heard what you do. I don't do it. When I'm not around. No, I am here because I've got a demon to get out of my body. I am having a demon in my body for a week and a half. I've tried to get the demon out. I tried to shove it onto MJ. I tried to send it through the text message to get it out of my brain.

Because I know when the hell I'm bling. Oh my God. That can only let me want to hang. Can I get out help? I need help. I need help. SOS out for the podcast and for my life in general. I'm with two mad people right now.

I have been silent for a week and a half, and this song will not leave my body. I listen to other songs. I listen to this song. I don't know what to do anymore. I just silence, staring at the wall, being so upset because my show was being recorded without me. I cried the entire time I knew you guys were recording,

like I was Mrs. Havisham from great expectations. And I put all the clocks at the same time so that I could think about you guys recording without me. Because it was the first time I wasn't on page seven. Welcome to page seven. I'm back. I will say I've been haunted by a song that we sang twice at karaoke.

And that song is Eternal Flame by the Bengals. Oh, wow. I wake up with it in my head. I go to sleep with it in my head. I just want to die. We did. And you know what? I don't like that song.

I don't know. I don't like it, and that's why I'm haunted by it. Because you don't get the songs in your head that you like. Rarely does that happen. It's always like a song. I'm like, I don't even like any. You know what I mean? I don't like the way they do this part of the...

No one likes. Whatever. No, I don't think anyone likes hot-likes it. But you do because it gets right into your brain usually. You enjoy that. Can you sing it a little bit better? I feel like we barely were getting little clips of it. Can you give it to?

You use the gum. myself, yeah, there you go. Let out when you're near my is it the droning voice. Yeah, yeah, it's the drooding voice. Let me want to need my law. And you know what it was?

The day that I texted you, MJ, I was in a Thai restaurant by myself eating soup in the middle of the day. And that song came on. There was no one else in the restaurant and I just sat there. stared as I ate my Tom Cock guy and I was just stared into the middle distance. I was like, God damn it, Drake, you're going to be stuck in my head for weeks.

And then it happened. And it's hilarious because that was, I know the day you texted me, it was May 4th at Freddy's birthday because we were out to dinner for her birthday. And I've lived like three lifetimes. It's been two weeks. Yes. We're recording this on May 18th. So it's been 14 full days that you've had this in your head.

That's a long time. I've been through several cycles of what songs are in my head in that time. So it is exceptional to have Hotline Bling. Again, a song with about three notes in it in your head for that long. I don't think he moves his lips. That stupid dance. That came out when I was working in a middle school. And so I'll always have a little bit of fondness for it for that reason to see that, to see that phenomenon play out amongst the youth.

But it's manifesting in a lot of disturbing. you made us talk about Drake last week and you weren't even here. I wasn't even here. I made you talk about it and it was because of Hotline Bling. I know. I said the only reason we're talking about this Drake story about Drake insulting somebody's wife or hitting on someone's wife in the comments of Instagram is because Jackie has Hotline Bling in her head.

Oh my God, you knew I wanted the episode. So this is the second week. I'm sorry everyone except I'm not sorry. I'm dragging everybody down into my mind. my personal hell, except my personal hell was being silent for a week and a half, and that sent me into a mental tailspin, just like the show, except a lot more scary than bears flying an airplane. Remember tailspin?

Yes, love tailspin. I remember tailspin. You guys, you guys are not trapped. You're not trapped. I thought the demon inside you was just your own soul that couldn't come out because you weren't speaking, but it sounds like the demon was hotline, bling. But there was probably another demon inside you, which was your word. I think she's had about five to seven demons stuck up in there for quite some time.

And they're all wrestling to see you can get out first. You think I'm a lot more innocent than I really am. Whatever. I went to DragCon last Saturday and I am here to tell the day. I'm talking about my mental trauma right now. And I need to move past. And I, as your therapist, need us to move past. While you're silencing her again, hold it.

And I need us to start the healing now. She's been silenced for a week and a half. And now you're silencing her. And now I'm silenced again because you didn't go to drag con, but I. You're reminding me of my fairy fuckbook right now because that's exactly what Tamlin does to Fahra. All right? Oh, with his horny wings. No, Tamlin does it have half the wings.

Yeah, he got too horny and they fell off. They fucking game off of it. No, he turns into a beast. Oh, my God. It's right on the tavern. Can you just go out into the forest, find a monster, and fuck the monster? They don't need to read these books. You just fuck the monster.

I already did. My fiance is from the desert, and it's kind of like the same thing. He is a bit of a desert monster, yes. Yes. I love you, baby. Will she ever be fulfilled? I went to DragCon. It was quite a lot of fun.

It was great. We took Winnie. Kids get him for free. And it was just wild. There was so, the looks, the people watching. So fun. We just walked around. There's like a main stage

where there's constantly different drag acts getting up. Because that's what we, that's what I would spend my time doing when I worked there with Jeff. I would go up and take a break and learn like the dance that they would teach

because they would have people teaching dances up on the stage. Oh, I don't know if they, I didn't see any dance teaching up on the stage. It was a lot more just like performances by different, you know, and everybody get hype and all that stuff.

So it was like a bunch of famous queens were there? Yeah, like pretty much everybody, especially like all the kind of like final half that made it through the most recent season. They were all like in one kind of line of booths. You could go to, we have a friend of ours who does video work for Lady Camden and we love Lady Camden. But honestly, like it was a lot of just, I, I, okay, first of all, crazy admission from this guy, co-host of Which and the Bruiser as well.

This is probably my first convention I've ever been to. Really? It was cool, but also I don't fucking like standing in lines, bro. So, like, that's not my thing, bra. So everybody, but I think if I were to do it next year, like, just to walk around that giant space and, like, you know, shop at the booths, watch shows the main stage, and just, just people watch. That's why you go with enough people so you can tag out in the line. So that, like, one person stays or two people stay in the line, and then you kind of filter out, while the other people go do other things.

And I think next time I will go and like, we will get the VIP passes. We will do the, like, we'll go on Friday and then, you know, and maybe go multiple days. And get there early too, getting their early helps with the lines. My other thing is like, I don't know what to say to these. I mean, it'll be cool to get the picture, but like, I don't know what to say to these people.

Hi, I like you. That's it. I think that's it. I like you. That's my concept of feel to me too. I would just be like, hello. Yeah. Hello.

Yeah, I feel like Angelina. Hello, you're a great queen. But it was cool. And I got to hang out with the Kara. Jersey Shore reference. I know, right? By the way, we're just weirdly, really into that right now. Check us out.

10 dollars on the Patreon. Join us for Discord watching. Also, last week I posted up the first and second episode of Jersey Shore season to for five dollars in up patrons to give, like, to entice you to come join us. Yeah, that makes more sense. Because we have so much fun. Yeah, and some people are like, hey, like,

can you guys riff more or have like the other people quiet out? It was just like, no, no, you have to just kind of be there. Like, we're just kind of posting those. Yeah, come talk to us. That's the best part. To show you what the vibe is like, but you really need to kind of be there.

It's a group hangout watch. So please consider joining us for that. But yeah, but I did get to see a lot of my favorite queens, scattered about, Willow Pill was there, you had... My God, you have to tell MJ about the button you bought me. So, yes, I got a couple of buttons, and I did get Jackie the, when you're here,

drama feels good in a place like this. And it's just a picture of glowing Nicole Kidman looking up at the screen. I can't wait. I'm going to immediately put it on my fanny back and I just have to show everyone like, you seen this? I see it on top.

I'm always at the movie theater. I've always got to move it. I know what? Give me that good popcorn. You have to ask me. Get the back corner pop. You know what? That's the warmest best popcorn.

The 15 year olds that are working behind the counter at the popcorn place don't like my jokes. Because I come in just ready. I'm like, I got things to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they don't care about what I said. They need you to move along. But yeah, I, yeah, it was great.

Queens everywhere. Queens as far as the eye could see. Love it. And it was fun, too, was like cornbread and a lot of the ones from the newest season we just watched. So it's, whoa, they're right there. I can't believe it.

And just honestly, I could just walk around. And that's the other thing I would do differently is we didn't really show up with like a look. I would go all out in something. Yeah. And there was just, there was some crazy. There was a pink Chewbacca. There was a like Deadpool drag queen.

That was like had this crazy beehive like updo, like red updew, but was like totally in Deadpool, but with like heel, like, thigh-high heel boots and like yeah it was like crazy watching is some of the best part so fun of cons just in general just seeing how people do their builds and just the cosplay of it it's so cool yeah there was like a little oh sorry keep going no every time i'm at one i'm just like man next time i go to a con i want to do a big build and then it's always the night before it i'm like i wish i had thought about it for a second but it's like Halloween every year yeah that's the thing like it's Halloween for me every year every year it's Halloween for me every year But you need the resources and the time and the planning ahead. Right. You know. And so that comes to look appealing to me for the, I love dressing up.

I love being around other people who are dressed up. I love a theme. I love a costume. But then also, right, I'm just like, I feel like my thing would be like, I don't. I also don't, like, it's nice to be around other people who like the same thing as you, but also like I don't really need to make more friends at this point. So I feel like I would just be like, hello. Right.

We share this interest. Goodbye. Yeah. Yeah. Which is why there was a sign up that said drag is not consent. If you want to take a picture, like definitely ask. Oh, yes. You know, there's just, but there's so many eye popping.

Like, it was just my head was spinning. It was so fun. There were so many fun over the top. It looks like, not just the queens. Like, everybody showed up to this thing, like, in such a fucking fashion. It was so fun. But also, if you were privy to drag Twitter, there's been a quite a bit of fun drama. I was going to send you guys this article, but I figured I'd just explain it to you.

because I didn't know if there was like a good enough article to get it across, but Gia Gun is kind of like a heel queen. You know, she's kind of like an evil, she's like very bitchy, very, she's very like plastic surgery, very like ridiculous kind of over the top. And she... Oh, yes, I watched that season of the suit, uh, because she was also on, um, the superstars, right? Yeah, and she's snooty. She's like got kind of a, I think also if I remember she's got kind of a Kim Kay,

like, I'm rich bitch. vibe. And she put tweeted, say what you want, but I saw zero beauty at this year's drag con. What happened to the glamour? That's such a bitchy thing to say. Oh, yeah. I remember this bitch. Yeah.

Now, at the same time, I will say this. A, drag is totally wrestling and wrestling, professional wrestling and professional wrestling is totally drag, first of all. Let's just get that out of the way, right? Second of all, Gia, this is kind of. of their thing, right? So my initial reaction was like, what a fucking bitch. But then I was like, but that is kind of your thing.

Part of the whole procedure is to talk shit, right? Where does the performance in and the reality? And so the clapbacks have been so fun. So definitely go check out. Also then Tricky Mattel responded, Gia, please never change. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just a ton of great, like, clapbacks

and different responses. It's very funny. So it's not that bitchy. It's more just funny. Well, it depends. Some people like, bitch. and then other people are like, bitch, you know what I mean?

It's just kind of one of those. That's the thing that's so fun about drag races. Some of it is like, bitch, and some of it is like, you're a serious bitch and I hate you. Yeah, yeah, totally. And so if you go, if you scroll, if you scroll, like you'll see in that one tweet,

there's just so many different responses and stuff. And a lot of, like, cool, be it's people are, like, showing evidence of, you know, glamour on the pink carpet. Because they do, that's the other thing. I would get there early enough. They do this whole entrance

where they all walk this giant pink carpet and show off their look for the day. Hell yeah. We didn't do that. We got there kind of late because, you know, we had the baby and everything. So, yeah.

But it was, it's quite a bit of fun, for sure. I mean, the opposite of a quite a bit of fun is I saw Dr. Strange in the multiverse of madness. Yeah, I need to know your fucking trash. Yeah, Jackie's about to talk shit. People have been, I've seen a lot of mostly, I know, right? I've seen a lot of mostly.

positive comments. I haven't seen tons of, like, vitriol. Other than the thing, the only thing I saw actually made me want to watch the movie more is that fans, a lame-ass fan. I'm just gonna call you all lame. You calling me mad?

No, not you. I want to hear your shit talk. No, no, these, it was like the headline, like fans upset about the violence in multiverse of Madison. Directed by Sam Ramey, of course, who I love from, you know, the Evil Dead franchise, and he did the first few Spider-Man movies.

but yeah so of course over the top violence in a marvel movie a very fun for this guy b it's sam ramy who like i love his brand of over the top violence i have seen nothing though of this movie jacky the floor is yours please let the shit fly my friend let me just say up top i have not ever seen a dr strange movie before so jumping into dr strange there's only one madness uh i guess a lot happens in it. Jaggy, you should definitely listen to Wizard episode on. Dr. Strange came out. I'm not a week ago.

Do you want to spend more time at this universe? You didn't like? Because the thing is, I could see how this dude could be cool, right? Now, I went with two, I went with three other people. Two of those people are beautiful, gorgeous, horrendous nerds.

So the issues that they had with this movie were very different than the issues. I had with this movie, because every time Benedict Cumberbatch came on, I was just going, next to myself, but not to anybody else. Wow. Because I, can I just say it? I have not watched Sherlock, another preface here. What is it about Benedict Cumberbatch that people are like, he's just, he's your

everything. I agree with this, man. And your panties drip off your body. I don't get it. With his magic and his space. Yes. I actually, I just assumed, my thing. is I assume everybody wants to either, you know, bone or be best friends with Benedict Cumberbatch.

And so I'm relieved to hear that you don't because I just assumed everybody did and I've always not gotten it. But I'm always been like maybe it's because I haven't watched Sherlock. Maybe it's because I have seen enough. I don't know if I've seen the Doctor Strange movie, but I feel like I know him pretty well from all the Avengers movies. And I'm always like a little bored by him. Plays major parts and all that. I mean, Dr. Strange is a really good utility character just for plot shit because he is this like wizard. can warp through shit.

And he, like, is kind of very studious so he can really give you a lot of exposition. I will just say this. I don't really know how... I've never thought about how I feel about Benedict Cumberbatch, but I will say he was, like, fan favorite and, like, studio favorite to play Dr. Strange from the beginning. He almost didn't do it because of scheduling conflicts,

like back when they were making the first movie. But he was always everyone's idea, like, cast... Like, fantasy casting. But they're trying to make him like an Iron Man now, where he's just, like, kind of... Like, like, he's a snark, snark. Yeah, yeah, he kind of does, yeah, he's got, like, comedy, yeah. Tony Snark.

He's, he's also Sam Ramey. He does a bunch of comedy. Is it the last thing that I've seen with Benedict Cumberbatch? And maybe that I'm like, is it the only thing I've seen with Benedict Cumberbatch was Power of the Slog? And so I just watched Power of the Slog. Come on, but he was really good in Power of the Slark. He's good with what he was given.

I love that on this show. You will never hear the actual name of that movie. It is only revert to us. The Power of the Slark. Do I just like... So I'm sitting here watching this. Now, here's the thing. I have watched all of Wanda Vision,

and I am brutally in love with Elizabeth Olson. I loved Wanda Vision. But what they did with her character in this, if you've seen Wanda Vision, you are aware of the fact that it's all... It's a lot about her being like a mother grieving the family that she could have had. So she's trying to use the multiverse.

I don't know if am I giving away too much. I don't know anything about this Marvel thing. I don't think. You're spoiling one. I think that this is basic plot points. Yeah. But the entire thing is she's just like, my children, where it's like, you're stronger than that.

I know that you're like, lose, like, you miss your kids. Like, get my two. And then shared letters like, is your children, elephant and nene. It's out. And in the jungle. Peace in the jungle. Yeah, the kids are pissing in the jungle. Let them piss in the jungle.

Power this log. And then I just, and also I think I had just seen not the. a lot of ago, everything everywhere all at once, which was such a brilliant movie when it comes to a multiverse idea. You also had the multiverse with Spider-Man, which also the Spider-Men was delightful. I love the

biggie. It's great. It may be so happy. This movie is why I decided I'm like, I'm in a yes and every Marvel movie that is almost every single one. I'm like, this is desirable. I understand. It's enough on a basic level. It's definitely, even just to get

into the air conditioning and just Take a break. Sometimes I'm a Nicole Gidman. Superheroes feel good in a place like this. Exactly. I am a Nicole Gidman. I am there. I am at the movie theater.

There are mind fights with this where the, I don't understand the rules of Dr. Strange and what he can and can. I'm like, make the enemy. Can you just like turn him into water? Yeah. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't know.

I don't know. I'm like, if you're so magic, where does your magic stop and start? I guess it's not all magic like why you can't just win every time. But yeah, I share that. And it's been a week and a half, so I feel like I'm allowed to say this. There is a part in it where they literally are fighting with music notes. And it's like, piano, piano, piano. And then, like, the music notes float in the air and it goes, kachah!

And, like, throws them at, like, knives at them. The music notes that he's creating with the instruments. And it made me so mad. Why would that enrage you? That sounds like that a fantastical delight. Yeah, it's so fun to me. I have no problem with that. I hate it.

It's so mad. Just so strange would make you mad sometimes. I just, I think it's the silence. I think I also had to watch it in silence, so I'm just sitting there's just like, if I could talk. Oh, and if these walls could talk, what they would say. And now for our final fight, Drake hit it. I used to say, oh, I just like, no, why?

It's like what works for the scene. I get so wrapped up also in thinking about like mind fights. Now, I love mad. I love watching magic shows. I'm down to read magic books. Well, it's a little. It's a little. This is sorcery, Jackie, not some mere slide of hands.

I'm down. I love sorcery. But don't you ever just find yourself looking at them and thinking like what they look like without all the CGI? I find myself doing this a lot when I watch Marvel movies and then I laugh to myself because they would probably look really dumb. Very foolish. everything that Dr. Strange does.

Think about him without all the CGI. He looks really dumb. And then I'm like, and Jeff's like, the integrity. But they also found a lot of problems with the world that was built in it. So I didn't feel,

just not in the same way that I yelled about the music notes. Yeah, they're like, and then this thing contradicted this. The Jaggie's like, and the music note thing was dumb. They're like, all right, Jaggie. Yes, the music note thing was dumb.

I just needed to get it out. I just needed to say it and I appreciate you guys for listening to me. Yeah, so get fucked Marvel fans. You're all idiot. And we can't confirm or deny because neither of us has seen it.

I'm surprised. Yeah, we haven't seen it. And even Gideon hasn't seen it. He always goes at midnight but it was just too busy. Dude, I just saw that Spider-Man movie that everyone watched months and months ago. Yeah, yeah.

Talk about Dr. Strange. He plays a big part in that too. I've given up completely on like seeing anything in a timely manner. And also I could give 14 fucks about a spoiler at this point. I don't give a shit. Good for you. You could literally, Obama could be in it.

You know what I mean? Obama could show up as like. Yes. Yeah. And Obama's there. The Flash or something. You know what I mean? He shows up.

The Flash in, yeah. And every, you know, if I found that, I'd be like, cool, dude. I have a baby at home. So I do not have time to give a fat flying fuck about whatever the movie magic could introduce to me right now. So are you saying that you don't give a fuck that Elizabeth Olson passed the polygraph test saying that she's never met John Krasinski, even though John Krasinski is in the Marvel universe and even in a fake like mind fight for half of a second? Yeah, so were they even in the same room? I think that is where I land on it. I don't think they were even in the same room.

And by the way, if you think that these people watch these movies, you're out of your mind. These people make these movies. They get tons of fucking money for it. And then they, what was the other one when everyone was like, I mean, of course, we always love to go after. Quetta Paltrow. But at the same time, it's like, yeah, of course you didn't see watch the movie. Why would they watch this movie? You know what I mean?

Yeah. You didn't watch the movie, but my whole life revolves around the movie. Also, the idea that just because you've been in a movie. with someone. It's not like you're all waiting in a gymnasium or something while you film, you know, it's like she probably just wasn't on set with him. Yeah, even if they were in

a fight together for several minutes. That's what I mean, it was all CGI, so it was probably shot separately. Completely. Yeah, yeah. Like we're not watching a fucking play right now, but I just want to say that if you are a person who doesn't think that you need to watch 16 minutes

of Elizabeth Olson doing a lie detector test with Vanity Fair, I would say challenged that assumption because I was like, oh, whatever. I like Elizabeth Olson, but like 16 minutes. And then I started watching it and I was like, I don't like Elizabeth Olson. I love Elizabeth Olson. Yeah. I want to, I love her in a sexual way.

I love her in a friend way. I love everything about, I love her energy. I like want to be like her. It sounds like she's your perfect match. She's the one. And I'm so surprised because she also gives real Mary Kate and Ashley vibes in some ways. But I also remember identifying a lot with them

because we were the same age and stuff, you know, and they were like, it was like having a, like somebody who your exact age, always on TV being your exact age as you were growing up. Like, I think millennials just have a close, some millennials just have a close relationship with them. But like, then they, you know, they got all weird and stuff. But like, she just is perfect.

And I just want to say that this video of her doing the thing where she says that she doesn't remember John Cresensky and she's never met him. and everyone, like, everyone's... Flabbergasted. I feel like when I was seeing tweets about this, everyone was like, what a cold bitch. And it's like, no, it's hilarious.

Like, she's just like, I don't know that, man. And it's so funny. Also, though, this is the first comment in this, at the end of this article, I'll just read because I agree with it. Are people really this unaware that polygraph tests don't work? Yes.

They're only about 50% accurate. Yes. Which makes them literally useless. The fact that we use them in court cases is truly scared. Yes. And I agree with it. Fuck polygraph tests.

Like totally totally. My dad taught me from a young age and I don't know why of how to pass polygraph tests. Yes. It's insane. But I would say the Vanity Fair, like the series that they have of different celebrities taking lie detector tests is actually a lot of fun. And I didn't realize how long they've been doing it for years. Really? And so you can find super cuts of some of the best celebrities.

lie detector like moments with Vanity Fair and it's very That's cool. I was like, why have they been doing? Like I don't know if I would submit to being strapped

to a lie detector test even though technically I know how to pass it. It's a good idea. Even though they're totally useless, it works for an interview because it like, you can catch a person who is trained to be very good at media.

You can catch them like in a surprise, you know? So like there's this moment where it's like, Elizabeth Olson says who's the musician, that she's like a good actress and then the guy's like, that's a lie. And then she's like, no, no, no, no, I swear. I think she does a good job.

Like, so it creates this like kind of fun. The panic. But also, the panic is what. Yeah, that's the fun of it. The results or whatever. It's the process. It's about the journey. It's about the journey.

It's a polygraph. It's about a journey, not about the destination. They're definitely used to incarceration. in people, but it's about the journey, not the death. It's about the journey to incarcerating those people and then murdering them in front of a bunch of people. Oh, is the Hame sisters because she lies about liking licorice pizza.

Yeah. And that she went to high school with the Hame sisters and that she thinks she's a better actor than Danielle Hame. Mean. Those are mean questions. But also it's shitty questions. Like, it's mean questions to be asked. Yeah, yeah.

That you have to respond to it. And she legit looks horrific. She's like, no, no, no, I think that she did, she did a fine job in the movie. And then he's like, lie, lie. And she's like, I don't know what's happening. I just think that she's adorable. Wano Vision is great. Wanda Vision is so good.

Like, I didn't, I feel like I enjoyed all the Marvel movies I had seen. But even the really good ones like Thor Ragnarok, I was like, yeah, that's fun. But I didn't walk away from any of them feeling like truly moved. And then Wanda Vision, I like, if someone. If somebody brings up Wanda Vision, I, like, go into a different place in my head. I was so moved by it. I thought Wondavision was so, so good. That changed my relationship to tomorrow.

For the MCU, for sure. I think that they, you know, need to keep going in these more innovative directions. And D.C. as well. I think D.C. has learned they can't be the MCU. They've tried so hard to create their own version of it, but they need to focus on the really good, smaller stories that they have in their, from source material with the comic books. like instead of trying to create this interconnected web. How many more multiverse movies do you get to watch?

Oh, Slugeymans and the post credits, I can't believe, is he going to have the emerald gym in the fucking fuck face movie about shitheads four? You love the emerald gems. You know. You love it. So that's how I feel. Man, I feel like I'm getting a little bit of Gia Guns energy right now. I'm really like feeling heel turny in my sighty. I didn't button it up a little bit.

Somebody's going to really get upset with me. No, that's why it's a perfect time to bring up the diaper, which is when it's $120 disposable goop diapers called the diaper. So bring that energy, Holden, because Goop was trying to do something, and I feel failed. I'm more angry now that I know what the fucking point was than before I knew what the fucking point was. I'm so angry about this. It was like, oh, I put out an ad for Goop diaper.

called the dipere, and it's $120 for 12 diapers. And of course, everyone's like, oh, fuck goop. And it's, we all love to say fuck goop. It's one of our favorite pastimes here. You know, so everyone had a good time saying fuck goop. Because, of course, that sounds like something she would do because she does all sorts of other stupid shit. That's, you know, whatever. And then she's like, did you think that was stupid shit?

Well, ha ha, jokes on you. Because it was actually. We are sassy this worded. I like it. She's like, this is how April Real's Day was born. We don't like a prank where the prank is just like, I'm telling you something, it's the truth. Ha, ha, actually, it's a lie.

Like, that's not, that's exactly what Guinepeltro did. Like, oh, I put out of it. A waiter did that again to me recently, by the way. My pet peeve is when waiters go. Because we had this guy that liked Lexi and I at this Greek restaurant we lived right around the corner from. We'd go there all the time. And he started just like being, because he liked us,

he'd be like, we'd be like, table for two, there were clearly plenty of tables. You'd be like, oh, we don't have any. We're like, okay, I guess we'll go somewhere else. Kidding, we have tables. We sit down. Can I get this drink? We don't have that drink tonight.

Okay, I guess I'll order something else. Then just joking, we have the drinks. And literally we went to a restaurant together. I won't name the restaurant because I love the restaurant. I don't want to like blow him up. And literally everyone was like, he's so excited to get this one appetizer. The waiter did the thing. He was like, we, oh, we're at.

out of it. And I was like, oh, man, I'm starving. That sucks. Kid. Fuck off. Kidding. What a brilliant rug pool you've done to me, sir. Yes, I trusted you. You said a thing that is totally believable that could be very, very easily believable and possible. And then it was a lie. Wow, what a fascinating fucking jib you got off on me. And this is what Goop did. She was like, ha, ha, ha. Oh, you think I would overcharge for something so simple. Yes. fucking idiot. And it's like, yes, of course, everybody thought that. But then she's like, she's like, I actually did it for a cause. And she made a fucking video about it where you know it's serious because she's not wearing that much makeup. And she's

like, if you think that $120 for 12 diapers is bad, then you should hear about the diaper tax. Diapers are taxed like a luxury item in 34 states. You should get rid of the diaper a tax. Okay, whatever. I did not have time to research the diaper tax and I'm sure that she's, but like, she's right, sure, whatever. But like, it's just such a, like, oh, I don't even know how to, you're going to make a public. It's probably when it says, the videos caption urge people to the organization, baby to baby to help provide diapers formula and other essentials to families and need. Okay, fine. What did you do? You donate to it, Guilla Peltro. You donate to it. You, What did you do?

You just spent a bunch of money to do a big stunt to ask people to donate their own money. Right. To something. She should have at least been like, I am pledging this amount of money. Yes. And I won't beat the amount. Like it's like, do something. Do something.

We're in the middle of the fucking national formula crisis. Children need formula to live. By the way, a nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic over here. We just got off of press feeding to start doing formula. And then this shortage happened.

I can't even get into it. I have to not think, I have to zen out of it because it's so frustrating. But what about the diaper, Holden? Yeah, what if the diaper does that make you feel better? Asks you to donate your own money to a cause that is structural. Right. Not even to get into like the diaper tax, whatever. I don't know that much about it.

It's kind of the least of our concerns if we're talking about inequality. She could also be advocating like making diapers, you know, free or much more affordable. Or about what's going on with the Mississippi case that might overturn Roe v. Wade. Why don't we talk about that? You're like, there's all their, like, I'm not saying you're right. Diaper tax needs to be addressed. Yes. But there are more pressing things that also need attention right now. And it could be the diaper, you know, the material problem of families not having enough diapers.

Sure, Gwyneth Paltrow can't change capitalism. But you could literally, Gwyneth Paltrow, you could literally donate to these funds yourself and probably buy enough diapers for every baby in fucking America. right now. Like, so the idea that she, her awareness campaign, uh, fuck awareness. People need resources.

Yes. People need material resources. Yes. Like, oh, awareness to give your own money to a cause. Guineath Petro, you are the one with money. You do it. Like, oh my God. We don't have the money.

Yes. We don't have the money. Like everyone is flailing right now. The whole reason people were mad about your fucking dipere is because everyone struggles to afford shit right now. Everyone, and people struggle to afford diapers. You're right. Diapers are a horrific burden on people.

So why are you asking people to don't, oh, were you pissed off about this because you would never spend this much money on diapers? Donate money. Bitch people don't have that much money. You have that much money. Oh my God. It's just so enraging. And she doesn't mention the formula crisis at all.

Whoever, maybe this was all filmed before, you know, the Roe v. Wade and the formula and stuff, but you're totally right, Jackie. There is just so many, it's just to be like, I'm going to make a big fucking stunt about me and how good a person I am for caring about this diaper tax, which is like the leaf on the tree of inequality for parents, you know? Can we please just talk about how Megan Fox got a pussy hole ripped out of her crotch and her pants?

All right, and I said my piece. Let's talk about Megan Fox cutting the whole. The diaper. She needed a diaper. That's what, maybe that's why Megan Fox ripped the hole in the designer jumpsuit that she was wearing.

No, she did it to fuck. And I, when I first read this, I was like, man, that sucks. To do this to a designer jumpsuit, like, just because you wanted to fuck and you didn't want to take off the jumpsuit. Jackie, maybe the jump suit should have been made

with an openable pussy hole in the crotch. I love her. crotchless jumpsuit and that's what I'm right holding that's where I'm learning from it. Yeah, well yeah, also to pee. What's funny is she probably did it to take a shit, but she couldn't be like, hey, I'd take a big, dirty shit.

And you're done your jumpsuit. I couldn't get it off, so I ripped it up. So instead she was like, I had to have a dirty fuck session. Yeah, that's what it was. That's such a good point. I hope it was that she like got her period. So she ripped it open instead of having a hot. Get this thing off my bag.

as opposed to be like, yeah, do you want to fuck? Let's have a hot fuck. In this weird closet at this awards event. But it's also, it's like a slippery, bejeweled jumpsuit of sorts. I was like, that's got to be difficult to rip, right? Yeah. Difficult to rip. Also probably difficult to have your balls up on, you know?

For sure. Yeah. That would be friction. It would be an ugly scene. I mean, you know, we've been there before, though, right? Where you had to have some kind of liaison and clothes were blocking the way. Yeah, you push him to the side. Like how you say it, Holden?

Like, you've never been touched before. Oh, dangerous liaisons. I've read that book. Yeah. So we'd like to hear about the history of Dr. Strange. Very many good comic book versions. Check out Wizard of the Brewster. I'm sorry I said I wouldn't listen to that Wizard in the Brouser.

I will listen to. No, you don't have to. I think it'll just make you more like, yeah, exactly. Fuck this, yeah. Fuck this whole thing. I like sorcery. I think that the idea of it is cool. Yeah, you're really very suck part right now.

The first thing I learned about Jackie, she loves sorcery. Like, that is her big, big, she absolutely loves it, cannot get enough of just pure fictional sorcery. Yes. In that movie, with their mind fights.

But yeah, she did do that. And I did quickly kind of flip on it, though, where I'm like, well, I mean, I guess. The costume designer, or the, like, the designer, like, responded with, like, the laughing face emoji, which makes me think, like, I, again, we just don't know. Maybe the person who designed this and who did all the work to create this outfit for her actually did think it was funny and it's like, ha, ha, whatever, I'm getting paid to fix it no matter what, so who cares. Yeah. Or maybe it's like, ha, ha, I'm texting with Megan Fox and it could be screenshoted at any time. Ha, ha, ha, that's fun.

You know, you just kind of think it's just, there's so much money involved in this. Yeah. Yeah, that's completely fine. That, yeah, money solves all problems. I made you a nice outfit. You want to ruin it so you can fuck. That's fine. Doesn't matter.

You're paying me an absurd amount of money. You're giving me diaper, you know, designer diaper money. Ooh, speaking of designer diaper money, Julia Fox went to the grocery store wearing underwear and holding denim pants as a purse. And just happened to have a photographer there ready to take perfect photos. of them as clearly a part of like a personal campaign. She is taking every fucking note from the like Kim Kardashian stay relevant playbook. We didn't even talk about.

Did we not talk about that video clip by the way of her? I think she's too stupid. I think she's too dumb to be evil. Remember when she was like, I don't write a memoir. Oh yeah. It's a masterpice. I'd never heard her talk before.

So when I heard the second I heard about Uncle Joms. Did you not watch the Uncad Jams? The second I turned, no, what was that? What she said, Uncutt Joms? What is that? What is she saying? What is that, Jems?

Oh, what God? She was like, I was a mute, like, I was talking about, because she was in Uncut Jems. Yes. She said the name. By the way, don't remember her from that movie, by the way.

I also did not remember. She's always associated with this movie, apparently. I definitely watched it, and I have no recollection of who she was in it and what she did. Oh, is that why you didn't

laugh hysterically when I interested. the article of Julia Fox I wrote uncut Joms looks like

she's got some cocked jeans Sometimes I read something I just keep him And so by the way She's literally in underwear

And like a jean jacket And jean boots Going to the Gros Neathee Knee high Heel jean boots I Don't

I never claim to understand fashion. I know that I have like a fun personal style, but I don't get fashion. And she's like, if you go out to the beach, you go out to the grass. I thought that was a fun quote. Also, I have to confess that I am...

I find myself that a very strange virtually a fox court. How dare you bring some positivity into this episode. This is every article we've talking about, we are slamping here. This is very, what I'm about to say is very difficult from a page seven. point of view because I'm about

about Bet Midler and good about Julia Fox. Well, Bet Midler has been being a boomer. She needs to have her Twitter taken away. And so Bet Midler had a tweet. She'd be an age limit, man. There should be an age limit. Yes. Bet Midler had a tweet about the formula shortage saying, try breastfeeding.

It's free and available on demand. She's one of those. So fucking obnoxious. Do you really think people haven't heard of breastfeeding when they've had a fucking baby. So the shortage wasn't happening.

Let's take my case, for example. The shortage wasn't a thing when we decided to we not breastfeeding because it was literally the only way, our baby doesn't latch, so it was just pumping only and it was like ruining our lives.

And we, you know what I mean? It was, and it was time. And it was time. It was also, it's been several months. It's like, it's time to do it. And then this thing came and now we're in this position. But like, we, how would read it? And by the way, in the process of all of it,

I now see how, much, how many crazy issues come with breastfeeding. I saw you out there, MJ talking about this as well on Twitter, and I was just like, like, like, like, like, I mean, it was just like, yeah, dude, it's so complicated. I know it sounds simple, but it's not. It's so complicated. And that's the thing. It's like it's just one of those things that seems like, well, how hard could it be?

You just hold the baby up to your chest. And it's actually incredibly complicated. And the reason I'm in Julia Fox's corner right now is because you responded to Bet Midler and said, Actually bet, with a small B, actually bet a lot of women can't produce breast milk, which is, of course, there's a million reasons why people formula feed. Sometimes out of, you know, they started with what I did also. I started with breast milk. I switched to formula.

It made me a more present parent. It made me physically, you know, able to sleep more. It made me healthier. But also some people, I had a friend who just, her body just could not produce breast. She had to have formula. Her baby was starved. Before she realized this. Her baby was starving because she didn't know.

But she was trying, trying. She thought she was doing something wrong, right? So it's like there's so much shame and so much fucking stigma around people, around formula feeding and around breast milk. And so whatever. Bet Midler, I'm not coming for you because you're a boomer. You just need your phone taken away. But we do like Julie Fox for clapping back at Bed Midler, at least for this week.

I will be out of her corner at the end of this episode. But that is weird dumb take. And what's annoying is if for some people it is maybe simple and easy. some people for a small amount of people. Just like for some people, their baby magically just naturally naps two hours at a time. But that's a small group of people. And then those people have no understanding of what anyone else goes through.

It's just like, yeah, it's easy. I had it easy, so it's easy for everyone. It's easy. This is just like, I can't eat. This is such a social media e thing, right? It's like, well, that was easy for me, so it must be easy for everybody. I'm just glad that the person that is defending all of this is the one that also went out with high-wasted jeans that she cut off the top part of the high-wasted jeans and wore it as a shirt.

And I think that that, he's like, I'm glad that she is the defender. She's the voice of reason against Matt Midler. It started as like a memoir, but now is just like a buck. I think it's what she's literally said. It started as like a memoir of it else. Wasn't that an, are you the one where they didn't know what the word? Oh, no, that was in the circle. In the circle, half of them, they were like, what would your.

memoir title B? And half of them is like, let's a memoir. I don't know what a memoir is. And those are the exact kinds of people who end up writing a memoir, by the way. It's those people end up doing it. At age like 25.

Yeah. As my memoir, I'm writing it at 25 years old because I've been through. Is this same people's like the 70 year old girl that wins like a Grammy and she goes up there. She's like, I've been dreaming about this. Oh my life. It's like you've barely been on the planet Earth.

What do you mean? All entire life. Come on my whole, every day of my big long life. My niblics says when I was a kid. I'm like, you're 16 years old. Stop saying when I was a kid. I'm not saying that you're not like becoming an adult, but stop saying when I was a kid.

All right. Well, I'm going to say hit me with the share because it's time for a celebrity conspiracy. Do you believe it? Is Dwayne the Rock Johnson, a CIA agent that helped take down bin Laden? Okay. Was this like during the time of, do you smell what the rock is cooking? I mean, it goes back. It goes back a ways.

It goes back a ways. Okay, so let's get into it. Oh my God, we didn't even talk about Kendall Jenner and the cucumber, but please continue. Oh, my God. The cucumber is cutting. That's really good. Just look up Kendall Jenner cutting a cucumber. I love that at one point her mom is like,

we should get this chef to come out here and cut this thing because she knows how dumb. And it's just so, it's like a five-year-old, I think, would not think to cut it this way. She's using a butter knife. puts her hand like around the cucumber. Her hands are crossed like in the shape of an X and she's holding it over underneath. Like she's playing the drums or something. You know what I mean? they're like arms or cropped.

Like it's so completely counterintuitive to how anyone would approach and just shows how little they've done of basic things in their lives. And that's fine. They can be privileged and have all that. I don't, whatever. I don't care. I'm not jealous.

You're 26 years old. And I just love to. Yeah, it was definitely this moment of like, I'm going to do it myself like she was seven years old. She was so proud. She's like, I want a snack.

I can open up the fridge by my seat. I'm sorry. If you guys came for the cattyness, you get the catty-y-dice today. I think it's drag-con. We'll come in and be like, hey, big beautiful world. Let's, you know, yeah, Gia-gun got us.

We're in Gia's camp today. And it's so bad. But anyway, so sorry, we'll be more like, yay, the world next week. But this week we're fucking a bunch of hens. Just a bunch of hens. Just a bunch of hens. Just screaming about fucking our bullshit.

All right. So speaking of cats, this one comes from Kat, who says, I stumbled into a worm time on Dwayne the Rock Johnson and how he is actually an agent for the CIA and either helped take down Osama bin Laden or just had the insider scoop and tweeted about it. This video is too fast, but it is a hilariously fast video. I don't know why they would make it that fast. They just pop up all these screenshots of like articles and tweets so quickly. No one could ever discern it.

You have to like pause the video while you go so. Thank you for taking the screen shots. Do you believe? All right. So here we go. First of all, you've got Obama announces death of Osama bin Laden. That was May 2nd, 2011. Dwayne the Rock Johnson tweets on May the 1st, 2011,

just got word that will shock the world, land of the free, home of the brave, damn proud to be an American. That was the day before. The day before. Also, from a, I think it's from some other article, fun fact, in college, my goal was to eventually work for the CIA until my criminal justice professor and advisor, Dr. Paul Cromwell, convinced me that the best operative I could become for the agency is one that also had a law degree, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So anyways, yeah. So he said, apparently he did have an interest in that. Then he gets connected. There's this weird lawsuit. I don't really get it. But he gets connected to this group called Brothers to the Rest. The Brothers to the Rescue is a Miami-based activist nonprofit organization headed by this guy who was former CIA. And I think that's the big thing. Jose Pasuto, he was a former CIA trained Cuban political dissident and the leader of the nonprofit Cuban exile organization, Brothers to the Rescue. And Dwayne Johnson was connected to this group.

It's a lot of like weird back and forth on that. those are the big pieces of evidence. So not that crazy. Whoa. Yeah. The tweet, the May 1st tweet is already enough for me. I don't need anything else.

I don't want to find out what else was going on in the Rock's life at that point on May 1st, 2011. I don't want to know. We could probably find out what he was tweeting about, but I don't want to know. I would also like to argue that if you are the Rock, like, or rather, if you're a son, if you're a, if you're a, and you just took out bin Laden. You mean Obama from Dr. Strange and the multi-person metals. All right, please.

Yeah, he does make that appearance, right? Is the talking cat? Big spoiler, by the way, guys. Sorry about that. I wouldn't give a fuck because I have a baby at home at like a mouth to feed and like real shit to think about, worry about day to day so I don't care. Not me, baby.

Only thinking about Dr. Strange. When you're here, dumb fuck shit seems normal at a place like this. All right. But anyways, if I was, was Obama and I just fucking was like, we just got him. It'd be like, oh shit, who do we call? Who do we call to fucking let know about it?

You know what I mean? I don't think you're CIA. They're like, The Rock, baby. Let's call the Rock, because you know he's going to pick you up and hype you up. Be like, yeah, you got him. Yeah, you fucking got him. Obama. It's like, yeah, I'm going to fuck Michelle tonight.

So fucking hard. I'm a rail her down. And the Rock's just like, yeah, rail down that. That fucking beautiful woman, their big strong arms. their sexy arms and everyone's obsessed with her arms I mean I will also say that

if the Rock told me that he was proud of me for almost anything I'd die Yeah that's why you call him If you're the President of the United States If you just took out Enemy number fucking one Who are you gonna pick up the phone

and tell first right? You're gonna call someone who's gonna hype you up and make you feel like Big Dick Jonathan Right And that is gonna be Dwayne the Rock's Johnson Yeah

Jonathan Obama You got to decide what's your greatest achievement, killing bin Laden or like getting a high five from the rock, you know. That must have been such a fun day for Obama and like everybody that rib just called people up, we got them, we got them. Get the rock on the phone. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Beautiful stuff. All right. So I don't think I believe.

I personally, I believe that that is the scenario. I believe he got the news. but I think it's just because he's, you know, that dude you would call, not because he's CIA trained. What about you guys? CIA or no? I think he would do whatever takes to protect his family because I put him in the Liam Neeson category,

and so I do think that he's CIA. I think that he underwent the training. I think, like, to get him from wrestler, I think he also, I also think in the process he sold his soul, which that's a whole other, but again, I'm just a girl into sorcery. That was just for the tequila. though.

That was just the tequila Tijuana. Do you think he took out been live? Do you think he was a member of Sealed Team 6? Yeah, but I'm gonna have to believe it. Thank you, Kat.

They believe it after all. You convince us, thank you. Yeah, he's like the fifth beetle. He's like the seventh member of Sealed Team 6. And you know what he said afterwards? This is going to be a really specific Moana joke, but after he killed bin Laden, he said, what can I say?

Yes, you're welcome. Yeah. For sure. And then Encanto shows up for some reason. Encato, hey. I was like, we don't even see that movie yet. It's even come out yet. Go back when you've seen the movie.

It's just like, oh, sorry. Lo see it, and just disappears. Weird room. That room was weird that day. From all accounts that were cartoon characters showing up in that room. Just to hear about it. Oh, Solomon Lahn to get executed by a group of military men. All right.

Don't worry. It's time for the list, guys. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Terrible ideas and off-the-mark predictions about the future of movies. There were someone here that I thought was, I thought they were very interesting. While 20th Century Fox's co-founder didn't see TV as a competition, he said television won't be able to hold on, Danny. mark out it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood

box every night, said Daryl F. Zanuk in 1946, and he would be wrong. The thing that we were looking for, apparently, though, was in 1960, the invention of Smello Vision. Yes. Mike Todd, Jr. figured that releasing sense and sync to the action on the screen would improve scenes set in restaurants, perfume shops, and such. Needless to say, the gimmick. Stong, do you get it? Yeah, all the perfume shops. The millions of scenes that take place in perfume.

Like most of the, like, you don't want to be smelling like blood and gasoline, which is like the majority of scenes in movies, you know. And of course, polyester, shout out to John Waters. You did a pop history on him. He did smell a vision in his 1980 film Polyester. Yes. It's like a throwback. Very rough.

smell of vision though. Yeah, it also is John Waters' Smellivision too, so you call it. Which is why it's so great. Now, it always makes me think if they have a ride at Disney, that they have a show that is in 4D, that they would, like, shoot out the sense. The Muppets thing.

That one didn't have the sense. There was another one that was like a Fantasia one that they would like, so like when the food would come through, they would put out the smells and stuff. But I was like, what's in it? It's got to be like a noxious gas, right? that smells like that. Right.

But maybe that was just the anxiety of a child. Percepto! The movie will rub you. 1959's The Tingler. Starring Vincent Price allowed moviegoers to feel the character's fear

by activating a vibrating device in their seats. The expanse and lack of follow-up movies that used the gimmick made it a passing bad. Passing? Yeah, I wouldn't say passing. I think it was just a precursor

for like the thing that exists in movies now. Yeah. Oh, I think so because now, like, we just, I mean, the one thing we did do with Dr. Strange, we saw it in the prime theater at AMC, which has like the crazy bucket seats. And it also, the sound makes you feel like, like, you're on the, um, the aerosmith roller coaster where it's like no one else can hear the sounds the way I hear the sounds. And I'm making a lot of theme park references right now. But then also the seats kind of shake as well, like you're in the middle of the battle. So you're right, Holden.

It was just the precursor to that. Totally. Well, something that did go by the wayside was hypnomagic. Oh, this from the anti-sourcery lady, of course. No, I broke sorcery to literally hypnotize audiences introduced in 1960s the hypnotic eye. Since you haven't gone to a hypnosis movie ever, you already. already know that it failed and I will say maybe Dr. Strange that's what it was missing.

Maybe he was trying to do hypnosis on us. But also, are you guys able to do where I was talking about this not that long ago? Are you able to do the magic eye thing where you put your face up to the paper and move it away and see what? I actually that was, I hated the science fair and doing the science. Why? I hit because I could, they were always like, just come up with a new science experiment. Oh, cool. I'll just pull that out of my whole ass. What do you mean? But a child, not a doctor? Yeah. That involves so much mixture of creativity. My kid gave me that response. I'm a child, not a doctor.

I'm like, you don't have to do it. You're right. I'll talk to the. I'll do it now. So it just stressed me out because I was like, what do I come? I don't know anything about, you know, to come up with an experiment that seems insane. So I did a magic eye experiment where I I just, all I did was just show a bunch of different people a set of magic eyes and see if they could see them. That's a good experiment. Just to see how many, because it's this thing that people could or couldn't do.

I could pretty much only do it by doing that weird thing where you like cross your eyes and whatever. Yeah, that's why I don't like it. Yeah, that was the only way. Makes me dizzy. Which made it invert. It didn't do it right. It would do it the opposite way.

It would make it go in instead of out towards you. Oh. So it was like kind of the she way, but I was kind of obsessed with them. I think just because this is, like that weird time in your childhood when you're just about to start experimenting with drugs but you're like

one just altering experiences you know what I mean you're like using candy you're not like eating candy you're using it yeah around the time we're all snorting at or not at oral good Lord that was like yours right around the corner no the altoyeds yeah but again talk about the precursor for me snorting at all right you know

the permanent markers yeah yeah the smelly marker Yeah, totally, the smelly markers. It was like that kind of those weird things you would do. And I feel like it was such a fun like, whoa, look at it, man. There's more that meets the eye. So anyways, yeah. I was watching.

Science fair. So I could do it and you could do it, MJ. Could you do it, Jackie? I could do it. But I also liked the idea of crossing my eyes because I was like, man, if they got stuck like that, that would be like such an awesome way to live my life. Like, I thought that that would be fun. when I was good.

So I would cross my eyes a lot. Hey, I'm going to go ahead and say it attributes to how poor my eyesight currently. Or like mess with your eyes to give like weird effects and stuff too. Like, yeah, shaking things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like touching my eyeballs. And this is where I, by the way, this is where I got a wheel out, the old mall rats reference.

It's a schooner. Yep. It's a sailboat, idiot. Scooter is a sailboat. I, yeah, I'll hold it. He spends the whole movie trying to see what's in a magic, trying to see the sailboat. That's right, that's right, that's right, that he finally goes crazy at the end and he, you know, storms the stage or the dating competition that Brody's a part or something.

All right, I'll watch it again. But maybe they should do it at edible cinema in the UK, which gives moviegoers a tray of mystery boxes, containing bite-sized foods to consume during particular parts of a film. Now, that's something that I... That's cool. I think that I could get into. Because you're not going to know what's inside of the box, but also it seems like they have different liquids and little bottles that you have to sluck up, too.

And I think that I would be scared of that. I just, it's... I want it to be food, right? Again, it's not going to be like, I don't want to taste like blood or grass or, like, river water. Yeah, exactly. I'm afraid of the mystery of it. It's to be food and probably it's going to be like, oh, this is a scene where they're drinking martinis.

I want it to be a martini, you know? So it's not going to be that much of a surprise. I feel like they're combining two different games. One game is taste of food and guess what it is. And another is watch a movie and have what they're having in the movie. These are two different games. And this is what I would say would be awesome. We do the like Nighthawk or Alamo Draft House thing

and it's a drink pairing throughout. So a cocktail made specifically for like different parts of the movie and maybe it's a movie where the you know it's like a noir somewhere they're drinking constantly in it yeah yeah having the drink with them or leaving las Vegas dude did i tell you you end up watching you hand you bottles of uh what'd you what do you think about that fun man i do i will tell you like if you don't drink anymore and you're like if you're thinking about like man i forget what it's like just watch leaving las Vegas yeah it was jeff just like like yep made the right Both of us were where I'm just so happy that I was like, man, like, we actually got into a really intense conversation where I'm like, I could have gone down that road.

Yeah. Which was very scary. So they, but, you know, nuts no more. Great flick. And then weirdly it's sexy too. Yeah. Right? That's the weird part.

Like, it's like the most like sad depths of depression thing. But then also you're like weirdly turned on throughout it is what it's sex. What they should really do is have a box for fear and loathing in Las Vegas where you get to do a bunch of drugs. You do all the drugs. Now that was kind of what I was getting towards the cocktails, but I did that pop to my head and yes, MJ, abs a fucking lulley. How fun are that.

Now that would be a day. But that's it for my list. Okay. Oh no. Mees got me's peepers and they're really bad. Me's things, me's goings. Blind items. All right.

I wake a say. Yeah, what average. Jackie. I did it. I did the thing. Oh my goodness. We've got some really fun blinds for you guys. Strap in. I'm strapped on a strap on. You ready? Luba. Strap in and strap on. Strap on. Strap out. Is that what they said? Is that what's his name said in the 60s? Summer Love? I believe that was what he said. And I can't remember his name. The acid guy. The strap in, strap on, strap out. All right. This foreign born, a list singer, says she was almost kidnapped two months ago while at dinner with a Russian oligarch. She says his bodyguards chased away the potential kidnappers.

I'm not sure I believe her. Saline Dion. She was, she had drank so much. So it's not Celine Dion. It was almost like she was levitating. It was amazing. She was like, Duolipa? Yeah, dude.

Duolipa and Celine Dion are very similar, though. I will say that. Why was Duolipa getting drinks with an Russian oligarch? Yeah, like during the war in Ukraine. Like if it was several months ago, it already started, do a leap of doing some like ambassadorship? Doa Lepa's all over the place. I don't know if you follow her on Instagram,

but it's a very fun follow. So I don't even know what to do with her. She's so ridiculously hot and talented and just like on top of her game. It's almost like she's not real. Like she almost reminds me of like the kind of like anime hologram performers coming out of Japan. Like I'm just like, what?

What is he, how are you even an actual person? So this is kind of fun. This gives, you know, okay, maybe she's got a little bit of a, you know, a bad. No, actually, this actually makes her more fantastical. Next, she's going to be like, I'll have a tail now. And you're like, okay, I guess you have a tail. This is not exactly the same way, but I'm watching our flag means death. And I feel like, I'm just like, now I'm just like,

Taika, YTT is like a magical god drop from the heavens? Like, why is he so good at everything? How hot is he turns to gold? How hot is he, though? He's so hot and everything he has made is so, so good. Jeff showed me this TikTok yesterday that was just like, Tygo Waititi, how does he make everything great where he's like, oh, pirates, bring in big bisexual energy.

Yeah, all pirates are bisexual. Action, like superheroes. Yeah, no, they're all bisexual. Yeah, bringing that energy, baby. And it's just like everything that he touches just like, and like, it's like, oh, surprise is bringing sexuality in just like even in tension and how you hold. yourself, does it make for a more interesting film?

Power of the slog! Oh, please, please, Jackie. All right, let's move. I don't even want to keep going with, I was going to say. Let's keep going with the blinds. Oh, perfect coffee. The worst thing in the world, this former A-List tweener turned A-List singer-slash-actress is to get involved with the ignorant A-List rapper with bad lyrics.

He only cares about himself. Making Millie Bobby Brown? No, but good guess. Yeah. No, but well, is Millie Bobby Brown really come out of the tweener phase? I mean, I almost feel like we're still kind of there a little bit. She's been dating John Bon Jovi's son. Really?

Now, this person, she is, she's actually in a show getting a second season with two comedy icons. But she's, and she was in a really fun movie about college girls, but she's mostly known as a singer and she put out an album or a song that everyone was really into for a while recent, not too long ago, not recently, but not too long ago, you know what I'm saying? A lot about that. What? Can you say the blind again? Yes.

The worst thing in the world, this former A-list tweener turned A-list singer-slash-actress. Miley Cyrus. Close. To get involved with the ignorant A-list rapper with bad lyrics. He only cares about himself. All right, let me get some song hymn. here. Selena Gomez.

Yes. Okay. All right. Now, who could the rapper be? Now, the rapper is kind of new on the scene. I'm not even really familiar with these so-called bad lyrics. I pulled this from the blind item site, so it's not my judgment I'm making. But lately the blinds at least seem to be giving him a lot of like he's maybe homophobic.

He can't be homophobic where he's like something. He's like bad taste. Maybe. Is it bad bunny? Bad with women or some. I don't know. He was, but his, okay, he guessed it. on one of the biggest names in music right now's track,

and that big name is very good at Twitter. Big name. Big name. Share. What's a big name right now? A young person that's big right now and really good at Twitter. Jabuki. Jabuki.

He is really good at Twitter. Who even is Djibuki? He's a comedian. Is that like a cartoon character that your kids watch? No, he's a comedian. Time for Djibuki hour. Hi, it's me, Jabuki. Oh, look, this is the color red.

This is the number four. And this is the sky is blue. I know that chance is like a big twit head, right? No, no, no. He is gay. Oh, Lil Nas X. But not Lil Nas X. Not Lil Nas X.

They were on. Jack Harlow's song? Yes, Jack Harlow and Selena Gomez has been rumored to be possibly dating, right now. I guess Jack Harlow has problematic lyrics maybe in the past or something. I haven't listened to his stuff. I'm only gleaning. I'm the

old man gleaning right now, right? This is old man gleans over here. All I know about Jack Harlow is that I like him for collaborating with Lil Nas X and that whenever he's asked about like, are you cool with gay people? He's like, yeah, why not? Like he's just like, yeah, what's fine. So he seems fine.

The one problem I have is he's black. You know what's just like, whoa, what's going on? You know, why do we have a problem with that? I don't know. I don't know. The song that he has on TikTok. Yeah, but apparently he's like big. Yeah, whatever.

All I know about him. But they've been, a lot of rumors swirling around them dating. Selena Gomez posted a video of her listening to one of his tracks and, like, really getting into it. And then apparently they had some like cutie back and forth on social media. That's where all the speculation is coming from. Do you believe?

Back to Celebrity Conspiracy. And then you have to do the list again. No! I believe. All right, we got to close out. with this. This is a great. I just love this story. I almost should have just sent this article as an article to talk about in the main space, but I'm glad to do it here in the blinds. And this is, by the way, this blind is weirdly worded and I couldn't even figure out how to like unfuck the weird wording of this blind. If she wasn't so wasted all the time, it required a million meetings before saying yes, then maybe the one name permanent A-list singer wouldn't have missed the chance to rip off everyone with her new NFT line. Too late now, though. One-name. singer. Old. Share. No.

Why is it, shares, yeah, you guys just guess we got share on the brain today. Yeah. Old. Not that, I mean old, but well, yeah, creepy lately, I would say, just kind of being, making us unsettled, and

this is no different. Yes, have you seen Madonna's NFT? It is a tree coming out of her vagina. It's these NFT videos. It's these NFT videos. She, I guess, sent in like they did a digital

reproduction of your pussy. No, she's giving birth to a robotic centipede. It's so gross. There's three different NFT, like videos. By the way, great timing for this because everyone knows

that everyone knows that, I don't know, maybe the whole market on that stuff is completely crashing and falling apart. I love all the celebrities who were still, even Snoop Dog, come on, man. Super out there with the NFTs. It's like, guys, it's become super exposed, like the whole, I mean, and the market in general has been crashing. So, of course, crypto and NFTs are going to, like, go down with it in a big way.

But, like, still, I can't even get into the details of it because I don't actually know because I'm so, like, bleh about the whole thing. But generally, NFTs are like, yes, Jackie, describe what you're seeing right now. She's giving birth to a robotic centipede. I'm watching. I don't understand. These are videos. Can a video be an NFT? Yeah, I guess.

And then there's butterflies coming out of her pussy? Yes. I'll buy that for a dollar. And then there's a tree coming out of her pussy. Yeah, see, there you go. So I was right. All the things coming out of her vagina. It's a weird, like, digital Madonna.

It's incredibly upsetting. It almost looks like there's 9-11 footage behind it, but I don't think that's 9-11 footage. It was like some partnership she did with some artist. It looks just very off. It's just everything about. It. No one's happy about it. Everyone's upset about it. And I want it. I'm glad to finally share it with y'all because it's fair. I don't know. Are you looking

up any of this? Imj? You're just hearing the description. I couldn't even. I'm glad Jackie had to describe it because I don't even know what I would say. And there's like a close up of her pussy and like, you know. A lot of legs. Apparently it's like maybe she's sitting in a mold or something. It's like a direct replication of what her vagina looks. So now we all know what that looks like really. Thank God. I was like when I'm counting down the minutes to when we're going to see Madonna's pussy for real. Just the whole thing is so upsetting and nothing, yeah, nothing about it's good. Can't these old music

people who made really good songs just leave us with... Except for share. Except for share. But can't everyone else just let us enjoy like a prayer without having to think about this every time we hear it? I don't want that. I love robotic centipedes coming out of a

postage. That's what I wanted to see today. It was like, I hope. Today's the day. My God. All right. You're released. You can see again. Congratulations. And I can see and I never want to see that fucking video ever again.

It makes me so sad. I don't want to see it. You did this to us holding. So gross. While you couldn't see, no less. And thank you for doing this to us. And thank you guys so much for joining us today. I am so happy to be back.

And thank you for giving me space so that I could yell because I was silent. And I was silenced. for too long. And you will not silence me again. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Thank you guys for joining us today. You can follow me on Instagram, yeah, that's where we're ending in Holden.

And you can also follow us over on page 7 LPN on TikTok because now I'm obsessed with fucking TikTok. Not so much making them because I kind of forget, but I love to stare at it. And come hang out with us over on Tuesdays and Sundays over on Twitch. TV forward slash oh no it's Jackie we talk about sex and we try to have sex with daddies oh my god my name's holda McNeely but more importantly Taylor Swift just delivered her commencement speech for NYU

class of 2022 and I'm gonna watch the video after this and so excited so congratulations to Taylor Swift and I'm gonna go ahead and say because your achievements are so great and mine are so loath in comparison I'm not even gonna promote myself right now because Taylor I'm Wow. Wow. Would you like me to go into the village, hold it and try to see if I can find her? Maybe.

Get her. Get her for me. No, it's going to be just like what happened, almost happened to do a leap. Yeah. So, you know what? Whatever about my Twitch stream and whatever else I think I want to do with my life,

check out Taylor Swift's music on Spotify or anywhere. Music can be found. And just know that she eclipses anything I could do or probably, unless you're some, like, astronaut listening to this right now, floating around in space, probably what you do as well. You know, that sounds pretty cool. But I also, if you want to listen to what I think about Joe Alwin's fucking, yes, Taylor Swift's boy toy in conversations with friends, go over and listen to Talking TV over on the page 7.

She loves him, and she loves the show. MJ, go on. She's a big fan of him, as she should be. Or she's dead to me. That's interesting. Taylor Swift on Apple music. I can't believe how charmed you are by just knowing that this speech just happened. You're so booed. That I'm unwilling to promote myself.

I stand by that. I will not be promoting myself today. Oh, well, my name. I guess we're proud of him. Now I've got to try to, you know, stand in the shadow of Taylor Swift's commencement speech at NYU. Oh, yeah. What's your Twitter, MJ? Because it doesn't even matter.

a doctorate in something from NYU Taylor Swift delivering the 2022 commended speech at NYU but I don't know if you want to see whatever bullshit I do you can follow me on MJK LKLK on Instagram I do very little especially Maybe maybe MJ I'll post the video

of the speech or whatever on the Instagram Maybe but probably not probably not but that might be a place you can see it we'll say It might be Thank you guys for joining us. But before we go, it's time for the shout-out. Sing to me. Shout, shout, let it all out.

These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We'll read me to you. Come on. Thank you guys so much for sending in such amazing shout-outs to page 7 podcast. At gmail.com. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to do the shout-outs. last week and I hope that Holden did even half as amazing of a job as I always do.

I'm sure he was fine, but I love you guys and I always appreciate you guys taking the time to even just write in just to say hi. And I can never thank you guys enough so you can send in your shoutouts or just whatever you want over to page 7 podcast at gmail.com that is seven the numbers. So it's page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And we got some beauties coming over from Michael from Jolio. Oh my God, Michael, you gave me a throwback saying you loved LPN since we were CCR. It's like I forgot about years of my life when we were Cave Comedy Radio.

But I want to send you and your partner, Daniel Woods, all my love. But before my love can burst forth at you, it's time for a birth. Yay, shout out to Daniel. Michael says, can you please give a massive shout out? to my most amazing and supportive partner, Daniel Woods, on the occasion of his 40th birthday on the 21st of May. Yay! Congratulations, you made it to 40!

And, babe, I bet you look even better now than you did 20 years ago. 40's the new 10. You heard it here first. God, no, thank you. I don't want to go through my teenage years again. And I bet you don't either, Daniel Woods. I hope that you have the most amazing birthday. Michael says, he keeps me most.

mostly on the straight and narrow, and I love him more than I can say. Oh, I love your love. And Michael, thank you so much for writing in about your love, Daniel. And oh my God, happy birthdays to Kaylee. Kaylee says, I wanted to write in because my whole family has a birthday at the end of the month, and I'd like to shout us out. My birthday is May 22nd. Our sons is the 26th. One year old, congratulations. And my husband's is the 30th. And,

and, uh, Kaylee, you said such beautiful things to all three of us. And thank you so much for doing that. But I wanted to share what you wrote about MJ because I really appreciate you taking the time to put it into words. Kaylee says, MJ, I also want to thank you for being open with your parenting. Your openness, understanding, and respect towards children and everyone, for that matter, gives me an excellent. role model for how I want to raise my family. Your Instagram stories have also had an impact on me with giving myself realistic expectations as a parent. It's hard out there, damn straight, but hopefully not the week of all of y'all's birthdays. What a beautiful birthday gift for have a baby just a couple days after. To Kaylee, to Patrick, and to your officially a toddler, Lincoln,

happiest of birthdays to all three of you. And to Jen, thank you so much for writing in, and I'm so happy that you are working on yourself. And oh my God, I still think about Mr. Puk Pockets. Happy almost birthday, you beautiful, May 24th soul. Jen says, the first half of 2021 was a time of purging relationships. I dumped a lot of toxic people I was very close to, including my brother and my best friend of 18 years. Good for you. The last half of 2021 was all about healing.

I started going to therapy, go for you. I found the right combination of medication to help with my anxiety and depression. Guff for you. And I started doing the things I loved again. While I worked on myself, I binged the brighter side and roundtable and caught the new episodes of last podcast and page seven. Hell yeah. Every episode of page seven makes me scream with laughter and allows me to escape for an

hour or so. That amount of time is so important to me and turns my entire day around. By the beginning of 2022, I feel like that. found myself again. And LPN and my husband, Mr. Pukpockets, was there every step of the way. I can't take all the credit, though. The last podcast network has changed my life. Hearing you all advocate for mental health is what made me take the first step to get better. Oh, I'm so proud of you. I could never thank you enough. And I could never thank you enough for taking care of your mental health. It is so important. Jen says, I truthfully believe that all of you have made me a better and cooler person.

soup in you. You could suit me though, baby. Anyway, happy birthday to me. And may I continue to get cooler every year. Hell yeah, Jen. I can't wait to meet you in Nashville, and I can't wait to see, hopefully, your new Taylor Swift tattoo that you're getting with your brother's ex-wife. Hell yeah, good on ya. Love you, Jen. From Jen to Ken. Ken, I am so happy you've become a part of our Twitchy community. Welcome! You are a welcome edition. Ken says, I've been a long time listening to Page 7 and LPN, and I've always wanted a reason to write in, and I finally think I have one. This is a self-shout.

You know I love a self-shout, baby, for two things. First, I had a major breakthrough last week when processing the Roe v. Wade leak. That sent me into a week-long panic attack, and it finally broke when I had a bit of self-therapy moment. I'm gay. come from a conservative background and unintentionally made marriage equality a load-bearing part of my self-acceptance. When coming out around 2013, I used civil rights goings-on as allowance to think being gay was okay. I took the attack on women's rights and the next logical step of gay rights as a direct threat to myself. When I realized that regardless of the law of the land, I'm still valid, not an abomination, and could have a good,

life. I shed so much anxiety. It was literally like flicking a light switch where I realized that even if things go to shit in this country, I can still be happy. Also in parentheses, I by no means want to take away from the assault on women and fuck these conservatives. I completely understand, but I'm so proud of you looking at something that is such a nightmare and just being able to find yourself through it so fucking proud of you, Ken. Because you are 100% right. You are not an abomination. And what happens, the laws of this country does not change.

You being a good person and you being allowed to be you and that being not only okay, but amazing. Ken goes on to say second, after joining the page 7 Discord last week, I hopped on Holden's Tuesday night stream and won a game of Quickblash. I was amazed at how great this community is and never really engaged before. I'm Brunette Archie. I chose the name because I'm a soldier, musician. and firefighter and eventually feel like I need to open a wrestling gym for orphans to seal the deal. Thank you all for processing your emotions in public and giving us the gold standard in what intimate friendship looks like. If you're still reading, of course I am, Ken, I'd love to shout

out my wonderful fiancé Rohan. Anywho, love you all. And thank you for what you give to all your listeners. We love you too, Ken. Thank you so much for taking the time to write in. and more lifting up love that I love to love. Terry, thank you so much for writing in about your amazing partner, Ingrid, and I totally remember meeting you guys over by the Port-a-Potties at the LPN show at Hollywood Forever. I so much love to you. Terry says I want to give a birthday shout out to my incredible wife and mother to our two kids, Ingrid. May 24th, baby! We're both musicians. and artists. While I have a full-time jewelry repair job, she is the harder-working hustler of the family, doing gig work as a scenic charge and set painter for a dozen of theaters up and down California.

Hashtag set painter for life. During the pandemic, she lost all of her jobs due to all of the theaters being shut down due to COVID. In the midst of this, her best friend Amber was fighting and sadly lost her life to cancer. Due to COVID restrictions, my wife, wife was unable to be by her friend's side. Around the same time, her goth bandmate of 22 years upped and dissolved their songwriting partnership for some bullshit reasons. She was hit while she was already down. In addition to the personal setbacks, it was very difficult for the both of us financially and emotionally, but she kept pushing forward. Recently, her health took a dangerous turn in December, but this isn't going where you might think. A saint of a doctor gave my wife

some life-changing information, which made her just boom, flip it. Thanks, kiss all. And after making a 180-degree dietary change, addressing her mental health, and quitting alcohol cold fucking turkey, she literally saved her own life. Now she is really moving forward in the most positive direction, and I couldn't be more proud of her. She's been feeling healthier, theaters are opening up again, and the gigs are just lining up for her.

She is the funniest book and street smart woman I have ever known, and after 10 years of being together, we still hunger to spend our days loving on each other. Oh, my God, Terry, I'm so happy for you both. And Ingrid, I'm so proud of you. That's so fucking difficult to do. Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you both, and I love your love. And thank you so much for sharing this with me, even just for a blip of you. your life. Much love to you both. And Catherine, I know that you gave me a warning before I opened the

email that this was going to be a sappy note for me. But I just wanted to say, thank you so much. And you made me cry a lot in the best way possible. It would have been sad if you sent me a mean note, and then I cried a lot. No, it was only beautiful. And I wasn't going to read it at first because it was like, no one wants to hear me talking about myself. But I really appreciated Catherine, and so I would like to read this email. And thank you so much for taking the time to write it in. I'm not going to cry. I'm going to cry. Catherine went back and started listening to some old episodes recently, and they say,

I've been really enjoying the blast from the past, but there's a little more I wanted to share with you. In early 2018, MJ was pregnant with Freddie, and Holden was planning. his wedding. You were living with a newly married Henry and Natalie, still smoking, hadn't met Jeff yet, and you had a not-so-great outlook on love. Maybe a not-so-great outlook on life. I can hardly believe you're the same Jackie sometimes. Am I here to dwell on this? No, my queen, the opposite. I cannot get over how far you've come in the last few years. Flash forward to now. M.J. is a parent of two and living more authentically than ever. Holden is a also a daddy. Henry and Natalie are homeowners and you're engaged to the love of your life.

The LPN group really inspires me and this brought it to a whole new level. Despite all the crap that's happened in the last few years, you guys have made such huge personal progress. It made me think about how far I've come since 2018 too and the possibilities for the future. I really appreciate you guys sharing your time and so much of your growth. But I think this is one of those moments where it really pays off. On top of the milestones, babies, marriages, blah, blah, blah, your personal growth shines through more than anything. Even though we don't know each other personally, you're so personable that I feel like we do. And I feel like I can say, the work you've put in on yourself really shows. You're not the same Jackie from 2018,

and I mean that in the best way possible. You're more compassionate and more optimistic, and you really seem happier. Thank you so much, Catherine, for taking the time to just share that with me. I feel like this is something I would be taking into therapy with me, and I appreciate that. And just wanted, I wanted to read it to also say that we all can change. And there are things in your life that even when everything looks so dark, that it can change. And it takes time and it takes work. And I always want to say thank you for sharing your own struggles and your own, failures and successes and it just makes our community so much stronger I feel in my eyes. So thank you so much, Catherine, for saying that.

And thank you to everyone that has written in and we'll write in in the future. And I love you guys so much. I missed you guys so much last week. And I'm happy to be back. There was only one week, Jackie. I feel like I was in the war. I wasn't in the war. I was just silent.

I was in the war of the mind I was in. Thank you guys so much. I love you so much, and we will be back next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.