Page 7 - Ep. 451: Welcome to Pooh Corner

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

This week we're gossin' 'bout Stranger Things and 80's nostalgia, the horrors of puberty, the dark Winnie the Pooh story that totally didn't steal Jackie's idea, the upcoming DILF awards on OhNoItsJackie June 8th, Kourtney Kardashian's questionable medical tip she got from her "doctor," MJ visits everyone's favorite website, Charlie Puth really feelin' Maroon 5. And in celeb conspiracy corner; Are Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart NOT FILMING TOGETHER!? The List! Blindz! and SHOUUUUUTs! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Have you been dying to see us live? Then get psyched about the last podcast network, Country Jamboree, at the Rhyman Auditorium in Nashville, Tennessee on June 18th. Jackie, we're not at the Country Bear Jamboree, but I am grinning like a possum, eating a sweet tater. Because we'll have all your favorite LPN family out and performing live, including last podcasts on the left, page seven,

Wizard and the Bruiser, No Dogs in Space, Brider Side, fraudsters, someplace underneath, the story must be told, and more. Tickets available now. Again, that's the Rhyman Auditorium on June 18th in Nashville, Tennessee. The last podcast network, Country Jamboree! I'd make a deal with God! Oh, God, who's this old lady? Who's this grandma singing to me right now? Be running up that beauty

Is this Mrs. Delfire singing Kate Bush's running up that hill? I'm running up that road. I'm running up that hill. I swear to God, I cannot get the Kate Bush song out of my head. Running up that hill.

Running up that road. I felt like I was watching like David Cross as the maid character in Arrested Development. Banga's such a speech. Or bang her in the mouth. Banger in the mouth.

I'm running out that road. I can't see it. You know, only Kate Bush can sing like Kate Bush. Yeah, she's the whole anomaly. I don't know, though, about it. You know what I mean? I think I'm kind of like half. I feel like I'm going to become a big fan someday, but today ain't that day, my friend.

Wait, did I not just turn you into a gayed bush fan? You're running up but a whole. I just got me a big fan of, like, people who sing like that, get really easily, like, offended by, like, simple thing, like, monocle breakers, you know? That's kind of what that sounded like. I miss, like, so easily offended opera audience people. I miss that trope. Like, someone takes the monocle and throws it on the ground and smashes it with their foot?

Doesn't it break when they get so affinning? Because is that the joke in the Simpsies, like, that's the third monocle that's like, I got is that break me on these monocles? But anyhow, that's, for some reason, that's what that reminded me of. I miss 80s. like a country club Villains. That's what I guess.

Stranger Things has a lot of 80s things but it doesn't have a country club villain. Dude, those were the best. The squares at the country club that got very upset about very just people having fun. They just didn't like fun. That's a great villain. You know what I mean?

Now it's got to be like, oh, cut your kill your baby in front. You know what I mean? There's some craziness, right? No, just makes you think of like catty shack. Like, can't we go back to that? You know, like that kind of just like, oh, wait, where I popped?

Carlos and I've got an ascot, and I don't like your visage. You can't drink beer on our gugagga golf court. Yeah, they should make a low stakes season of Stranger Things, or maybe just a different show. But that is just as 80s nostalgia, but with the stakes of Caddyshack as opposed to the stakes of season four, whatever we are where it's like, no, it has to be like entire hell is coming up from Earth.

Yes. We'll call it whatever stuff. All right. It'll be whatever stuff. And it'll just be like easy, breezy 80s bullshit. You just don't even need. Yeah, sometimes I'm watching the lead up of a horror film. And I get to a point where I'm like,

kind of wish this was just the movie. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm like 20 minutes and I'm like, oh, right, this is a horror movie. Like, I almost forget. And then they do the switcher. I was like, I could have just gone with this camping trip. You know what I mean?

I got to just stayed with these people for the weekend. And we're going to just had fun. Yeah. Now we got to start slicing and diced in there. Yeah. Like I would watch just like the saved by the Bell version of Stranger Things. It's just like their friendship, you know? Like take away the upside down and it would be fine, you know.

Yeah. Well, I think that that's why I liked the Fear Street movies so much because it had so much of the essence of the time period. But then it was also, you know. And I like the, don't get me wrong. I loved Fear Street. I liked the scary stuff. And I like the horror. My problem with Stranger Things right now is that I don't remember.

Just the same problem with Riverdale. I don't remember anything. They were in a food court in a mall. Yeah. I don't remember anything about what I really remember about last season. I'm like, I remember at one point. The mall was cool, though. It was a cool mall.

And I liked the mall plotline. And I was watching somebody, watching with somebody who was, you know, a young teen in the 80s, he's like, he loved, I remember that Gideon loved season three. And he was like, yeah, this is just what malls were like. And so, like, he was, like, really loving it. But neither of us remembers anything about what happened with the upside-down world. Is Gideon just up in the middle of the night just watching girls just want to have fun? Remember that?

I know. Every time I talk about him, I'd paint him as the absolute icon of a Gen X. He's like, he's in love with Winona Ryder. He thinks Madonna, you know, is better than Lady Gaga. Whoa. He has a John Cusack tattoo, like, from Say Anything tattoo. You know, he really does embody Gen X. Has he seen Madonna now?

He's not of current Madonna. You have to understand. Has he seen the weird video? Is being hung up on past Madonna, you know? Yeah, the kissing with her weird lips on that weird ritual. It wasn't even a ticker. I was a ritual-esque experience. It was terrifying.

I was trying to get kissled to play guest that celebrity with me. And I was, I pushed out my lips. And I was like, to the pandemic is the, great equalized. And he got really mad at me. He's like, that's how you describe Madonna. I was like, that's who she is to me now. That's how I see her.

Right. This distortion. Yeah, this distortion of reality. You know, Kissel's right on that. He's either young Gen X or old millennial, and you can really define whether you're millennial or Gen X based on your irrational feelings about Madonna. This is my, this is, you can set your watch to it.

I'll go with that because I always have felt, yeah, my Madonna's. A of an array of light. You know what I mean? That's my Madonna. And it was like, oh, good for her. You know what I mean? But you don't feel like you don't have any kind of weird obsession feelings or anything.

Or like that feeling of her like major dominance as this like great, you know. Powerhouse. Powerhouse. I mean, she's a powerhouse for sure. I mean, we're not going to take it away from that gal. All right. She got in there and she had a couple of good ones. I think she just didn't change our lives.

This is the way that she changed. Yeah. It just how we were people who were 10 years old. You know. She got changed my life. Nirvana changed my life. Right. And that would be...

Janet Jackson is, I think, more comparable. Like, right? Sure. But, you know, whereas... Yeah, Madonna is just... It's just the... And it's the same with, I think, same with the feelings about Winona Ryder

and John Cusack and Janine Grappalo. Just like, yeah, sure. They're great. They're totally great. It's just like... They're not my foundational figures. Remember when Jan Jackson did the tour she would do, like,

she would bring one, like, dude on stage and do like a strip, like a lap dance just for the guy. Have you ever seen that video of the guy just literally losing his fucking. What do you? He's just like, he's like hemorrhaging. He's so turned on. He's just like, oh, geez, I can't. It's so funny.

Like, honestly, would have believed his head would have explored. Like, he's, he has a full break, like, just a complete breakdown on it. I mean, it's so funny to say, I'm like, I look at it. I'm just like, man, I don't think I've ever been. that horny. You know what I mean? But you would be if Janet Jackson was giving you a lap dance.

In front of all those people, though, I don't know, I'd think I'd get a little, you know, too aware of all the many people. But he's literally like, I wish I could live in that moment that he's in for one millisecond. I think I would like understand a little bit better. Like, oh, that's like what God is. You know what I mean?

Like, that's that horny he is in this video. You got to watch this video. With gold. Oh, Lato. All right, why do you pretend to be a British made old lady? We get it. We're divorced, all right? You're not supposed to be in the house right now.

There's a pony inside of the house. I'm watching Stranger Things and I wasn't even that sure why you led with Kate Bush is running up that hill music video from 1985. I was like, is this a re-release of some kind? But I get now because that is the Stranger Things. Everyone's talking about it. I think it's in the first or the second episode. of Stranger Things and everyone's like, and now Kate Bush is back. And I was like, it's everywhere. Yeah. They're like, don't you want to watch the video again? I'm like, I guess. Yeah, sure. Pop on the video.

But you know, like I read so many different celebrity gossip publications and every single one, the headlines are all like, Kate Bush. Oh my God, remember this song? I was like, yeah, I guess. Now, you're a stranger head then. MJ. I fell off in the second season. Oh, really? I fell off and I feel like now I can't go back. So, okay, so there is, I feel like there's a couple of things that are true about stranger things right now. And I'm trying to not hurt anyone's feelings. Ooh. I feel like they should have, they should have not done this season is my first instinct. Wow. Wow. Wow. Shots.

Well, I love your thoughts and opinions of MJ. Do not reflect the thoughts of the past podcast network. So please send your hate mail to MJ. But you know that feeling when a show is doing its last season and you know it's the last season and you're like, I wonder if what would have happened if you hadn't done this season. You know, if you just, it's like this, it's like reaching for the stars, reaching for the sun and landing amongst the stars or whatever. But like, you know, it's fine. I'm enjoying it.

But everyone can't stop talking about really honestly what's upsetting me. that everyone keeps talking about the season and how awkward it is. And I just feel so bad for these kids being, going through, either being 29, which is one of the characters, the actors, one of them is 29. Sadie Zink is 20.

The rest of them are all like, Millie Bobby Brown is 18, I think. But then the rest of them are all like legit 16 and like have just filmed their way through puberty. And then everyone is on Twitter just like, they look ugly. And I'm just like, can you not? Like, I fear of puberty.

Give them a break. Like, and ever, when I feel like when Stranger Things started, I remember on this very show being like, I'm worried about those kids. Like, they're so cute. This is such a popular show. They're doing such a good job. And but like, don't we know that like the outcomes for child actors are like almost universally bad? Like, I'm a little worried about this. And I feel like everyone kind of knows now that the outcomes for child actors are bad.

And yet all anybody can talk about Stranger Things season four is like, it's awkward now because they all went through puberty. And it's like, okay, so I'm not saying that they shouldn't have made the show for that reason, but it just seems like the show is like, okay, let's give it another go. And I'm just not sure, like, if anybody wants that, you know, like I just feel like, I just feel like I'm just worried about everyone making fun of these poor fucking kids because they all went through puberty. And I'm like, can you leave them alone? Who is saying they're ugly on Twitter? Everybody. Everybody's response. I have not seen anything about that, saying that a lot about other important things happening in the news.

right now. I'm seeing a lot of... People are saying that they're not good actors and that it was like only... That it was something... You know, people are just being shitty to the kids and I'm like, leave those kids alone. But I think that it's just...

It's the full house problem, right? Or whatever... Or the modern family problem. Literally any time you cast a 10-year-old, the Harry Potter problem, you cast a 10-year-old, the show's going to change. Yeah, like... And the authors eventually gonna get weird

about trans issues, which is the whole... What happens. Right, like... They will disappoint you because 10-year-olds, there's nothing disappointing about a 10-year-old, and there's many disappointing things about adults, you know? And so it's like you see a child become an adult before your eyes, and everyone feels weird about it. And mostly everybody is just having their own weird feelings about their own youth

and their own puberty and their own. But, like, people are just so weird about seeing kids grow up on camera. It speaks towards a larger problem, though. It's not just on camera, though, MJ. Because I've been thinking about this a lot now as a new dad. how like I feel like this is an issue we have. Maybe it's just in this country, maybe it's worldwide where like they're cute,

they're cute, they're cute. And then the second they start to become awkward, like looking and feeling and acting, we just, so many parents just like turn their backs on. Yeah. All right, do your thing. Yeah. You know, stay in your,

go in your room and hide and play on your computer or whatever. Yeah. I wish I'd been sent away. I would send me away. I just want to go be somewhere else. I don't want to see my parents. I just need to go be horny in silence somewhere else. And I think that that's just the age 12 to 15. You should be sent somewhere.

You want to be, I want to try to be present in a way. I feel like so many parents are like, well, I can't dress you in whatever I want and parade you around the streets anymore. So I guess you're dead to me until you're, you know, in college or whatever. I don't know, you know what I mean? I think you're right. I think it's that parents don't know how to engage.

And right, because teenagers are, so, they're so, it's so obvious that they're maturing so quickly, but like intellectually and emotionally and they're like such, they suddenly have all this like autonomy. And I think that parents are like, I don't know, this changes, this, our entire dynamic is now changed because my job forever was to just take care of you. And now it's not just that or to take care of you in a different way. And so I think it makes, and everyone also was like, remembers that time. And almost everybody had a really hard time during that time. So I think it makes people uncomfortable.

And right, I think that maybe worst years of my life. Yeah. Some of them. Some of the worst years of my life was middle school. And then so there's something about seeing kids' child actors

grow up that is like this like, you know, there's something about a child actor. I hated that time on my stupid life. Yeah. And now I'm going to watch these idiots go through it in 12. And being a big budget show,

fuck them. Yeah, yeah. I think there's a subconscious resentment towards just that whole time period of development. Which I think is the most interesting time. You're one foot into adulthood, one foot still in childhood. It's so fascinating.

It is a fascinating time. Yeah. Well, it's the second puberty. Because you have puberty when you're like a tiny puberty when you're in like a toddler because all of these things are changing. Right. And all of these like hormones are changing. And then you have it again when you become a teenager.

So it's just all these feelings feeling different for the first time. Right. And that's why whenever they say like, oh, kids going through puberty, they're just over-emotional. and they just can't handle. It's like, what are you talking about? They're flooded with feelings that they have never been able to really feel and process before. Wouldn't you flip out too?

Right. Yeah, also, also, I'm tired of making the 80s look sexy. You know what? The 80s are awkward and stupid as fuck, just like the way those kids look and act at this point in their development, okay? That's the real 80s, right? Dumb weird hair and bad, just everything.

Bad, just shapes were bad. Everything was bad. The drape, they would just like, drape a curtain-like thing over your body. That's what we're gonna do. Put some neon on it. You know what? It's difficult to look good in neon. I know I can pull it off, but I think that it's like

large swathes of neon at times can be a little rough. Like poofiness for no reason, you know what I mean? In places that shouldn't be poof. Like they put like, oh, there's, he's got poofy knee pants. You know what I mean? You're just like, what? That's the 80s, all right? Like, definitely 11 is wearing some, I think, very realistic, like, jumpers that just went down to, like, below the knee.

Do you remember this? Like, anything embroidered on it? Because that was around the time when I had my embroidered jean jacket that are all of the Winnie the Pooh characters on. Oh, I had a lot of Woody the Pooh. At that time, too, like, as a sixth grader. A lot of embroidery. Speaking of things that look like so sexy as a headline online, but are. in reality, I'm pretty sure that's going to be a dog shit film.

How dare you? I bet it's going to be great. We're talking about the Winnie the Pooh movie. Because I know that it wasn't my exact idea. They took your idea, though. They took my idea. Can I ask this, are they not supposed to be just guys in masks with obviously like wearing gloves? Because if not, if they're just actually, am I supposed to buy that these are like actually a bear and a pig, like humanoid thing?

I think they're supposed to be masks. Okay. If that's the case, but no, but the whole time I'm reading the description, it's like, no, it's Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin left and they were forced to like fit in for themselves and made them go insane. We were talking about Winnie the Pooh blood and honey, which you guys were so amazing that every, it just came out. Because earlier this year, apparently, Winnie the Pooh entered the public domain, but only the from 1926 and before Winnie the Pooh. So it doesn't include Tigger, because Tigger comes in in 1920. in Welcome to Pooh Corner, which yes,

does sound like a corner of a street covered in make. But that's where Tigger shows up. So there's no Tigger in this and in this movie, Eeyore is dead.

But we don't get to see Eeyore's death. And they have to come out because Christopher Robin grew up and they are starving to death in, which I do love that concept,

that they are starving and that they have to leave the 100-acre forest so that they can go out And essentially, I guess, kill some people? I'll watch it. Yeah, I'll watch it. I wish there was more kiss in it because you know I'm here more for the kiss.

But something tells me that we're not going to get a lot of Piglet and Winnie the Pooh kissing. I think either this is like one of those really, it's just so fun to watch B horror film. Like the acting's just bad in the right way. The, you know, kills are just fun enough that it's fun. if it doesn't have it, I think it's going to just be one of those. I just think this is such a, I feel like we're starting to get into the, I'm at least starting to become very aware of like what makes something that's fun to talk about for five seconds on social media for, you know, or for like a day.

And what is actually going to be like a good movie? And this just reeks of that kind of thing. Like, like, oh, that, that Disney World movie. What was that Disneyland movie that they, remember that? the like the escaping never later. Tomorrow, like escaping from tomorrow.

Is that what it was called? Something like that or whatever. And it was like, we snuck in cameras and filmed this movie. And it was like so cool as a trailer and something to get hype about.

And then the movie was dog shit. And that's sorry to be a negative Richard Pratt, but I'm going to be a negative Richard Pratt. Yeah, sorry about that. After I said cancel season for a stranger thing. Yeah, we're really, we're trying to do this early in the morning.

And maybe this is why we got a little bit of the morning grumps in us. So what's here? Jackie, what do you want to take a fucking fat dump on right now? Well, we had just recorded Riverdale Roundup, and I screamed through that. So I feel like I put all of my anger into Riverdale this week. And so you got to spread it around sometimes. So I'll be the positive one today. Can you say three words that you hate about Riverdale right now?

just three words that would describe what you hate it. What is it called? The Malfactorum? That's what is it called? I honestly don't even remember that part, and I just watched it. I'm going to say the word tether. Tether. I'm going to say that word piss me off about Riverdale.

Yeah. I really think I hate those tethers. And I guess I'm just going to say it. Percival. Last one, I hate Percival Pickens. I'm not going to get me screaming about Riverdale. Because, Holden, you're trying to get me to scream about Riverdale right now. You and Lee is listening to scream about Riverdale.

Go hang out at the Riverdale Roundup because MJ and I both yelled, we channeled our anger into Riverdale this week. And I think that we needed that. We needed. And honestly, there is nothing like watching an episode of Riverdale within 12 hours of watching an episode of like a real show, like stranger things. Whatever, however you feel about season four, it is indeed a real show with writers who seem to be invested in the plot line in a way that Riverdale,

It just isn't. And so it will really just stand out to you. Yes. And I mean, all of this really comes down to, yeah, is it a segue? No, it's not. It's early. Daddies. I wanted to bring up Daddies earlier and I wanted to talk about Daddy's when we definitely

get into how much semen one is supposed to swallow to give you better fertility, which we will get into in just a moment. but first I want to promote our DILF Awards. We are going to be hosting the DILF Awards next week, June 8th. Come hang out over on Sidebar. Holden. Are we doing it on yours or on mine? Oh, I don't know.

Since your-old are yours. All right. Come hang out. We're going to be hosting. Wait, also, Sidebar. MJ, are you hosting the DILF awards of us? Yes, yes, I will be there. Keep these in.

We're going to be. Sidebar, Jackie, are you fucking stupid? Oh, I feel stupid. I feel stupid. I think I'm cursed. I'm worried that I'm cursed. And you know what? If we can leave this part in, I think I might be cursed right now.

There's something going on. I need good energy. Please, someone send me some good energy. My life is slipping out of my control right now. And I got to L.A. And I saw an old haggard woman on the street. She was just going, run it to the head,

and I was like, hey, you look like a witch. She was like, yeah, I fucking am a witch. I was like, can you curse my friend for a funny joke? Oh, my God. I wish I could have gotten thinner. Please thinner me instead. No, I got Kate Bushed. And now I am.

You're running up that hill, girl. Running up that hill. I'm like, Sisyphus. I guess you can call me Jack of Fushed. but that sounds like I'm into something very different. What is that happening here? What the anger, Holden? You did this.

The Daddy Award. June 8th. We're going to be talking about Dilfs. And we're going to be talking about gilfs too. Grandfathers you could have sex with. We could. If you want a nominee a daddy to be up for an actual award, this is Strick's sponsored. So also, man, check out Stricks.

Strick's has been unbelievable to work with. Hell yeah, dude. Whatever at checkout, Jackie 15 is dead to the world. No, use your code. Jackie 15 at Strix.com. Holden and I are competing over our coupon codes now. But you want to choose mine, obviously. And so Jackie 15 over on Stry.com, S-T-R-Y-X.com.

It's amazing makeup. And all three of us are working with them now. But they're also sponsoring the DILF Awards. So if you want to nominate a daddy to be up for Daddy of Chat, milf, milf, Dilf Awards, come hang out over on Jackin with the Holdies

this Friday over on Twitch.tv forward slash Holdenators Ho. That is this Friday, come hang out. And then the DILF Awards will be June 8th on Twitch.combe forward slash, oh no, it's Jackie. Next Wednesday, June 8th.

Come hang out with us because we are going to If you think that this is nutsy sauce, you wait till the devil words. I'll tell you this right now, audience, I am physically afraid to be even in a room with Jackie right now. So it's going to be a good. Oh, my God, just turning into a chicken. But it's a turkey. Oh, turkey time.

It's turkey time, y'all. And speaking of nutsy sauce, what other kind of sauce comes out of there? It's semen. And yes, we are talking about Courtney Kardashian. That's a segue. That's what I call a segue. That's a segue. Back on her game, Jackie Lubrowski.

She only, you know, just like a teenager, sometimes they lose their path and they find their way back. You can't. Yeah, if only had a segue too, you would have to run up that hill. You just lean forward and it would take you up on its own. Nutsi sauce. And we were talking about Courtney Kardashian here. Courtney Kardashian's doctor told her that she needs to swallow her

her husband Travis Barker's semen four times a week to help with her fertility. Now, I'd love to hear from two parents on the show. Were you guys ever told that? Yeah, no, I mean, you know, I think it's the kind of situation where, like, I think it'd be fun to be a doctor for like these types of people because you could literally tell them anything and they'll do it. And you know what I mean? Like you couldn't do that with just any everyday folk. But if I had Courtney Kardashian and Travis Barker coming to me as a doctor, but like, okay, this is what you have to do.

You need to sleep with a dead pig in your bed for the next. Black mirror. Oh. Because of the other. Or you tell them up top. Because at first they were told to have a strict fast and then force them to abstain from sex, give up caffeine, and forego exercise to help with her fertility. I've never had to work on my fertility. In fact, it's more of the opposite of what I've had to deal with most of my life.

So I just, what do they tell you, though? Like, what does, what are you supposed to do? Listen, you can just wait for the ovulation window and have sex. Yeah, you can go down fertility of rabbit holes. Don't get me right. And there will be all sorts of, like, you know, there will be all sorts of bizarre shit that you will, like, I was like. And I'm lucky enough too.

I want to say I'm very lucky. We were very lucky and very blessed with our not having a massive struggle over this. So I'm sure I would, I'd be drinking my own fucking com if we were, if we were a year in, two years in and still trying to have a baby. Right. I would love to be that doctor for you. Oh, and I. Here's a prescription. Yeah, it'd be like tub boy, but with calm, you know what I mean?

Is that inappropriate to say on the podcast? Is that bad to say? Oh, which hole is it coming out of? Oh, God, back in the day. Bring it up tub girl. What are we going to start talking about? Lemon Party.com next. Oh, well, if you like to check out, lemon party.

org, it's a great place to go if you're considering different political issues and want to get it sort of out. Is it? Sure it is. I mean, I'm immediately typing it in to see. Sure it is. What the fuck is? It certainly is.

Is that something from the round? You don't know, lemon party. Or, all right, let's just explain it because we can be cheeky monkeys all day,

but we should explain to MJ. I will also say if you are underage, do not go to lemonpity.org. Should I go to lemon party. Yeah, actually, MJ, I love to hymn of age.

Your first. MJ, this is what happens. You convince someone to go to lemon party. org under some false premise and type in lemon party. org and just, uh, you know,

let's get a live react right now for M. Oh, Oh, my God. What are you looking at there? I'm looking at a threesome between three old guys. That is it. That's it. That is certainly just it.

It's just a picture of that. And you just try to convince people. And when you are 13, it is the funniest thing in the world. At least it's like one of the, it's probably the most like, the least harmful one to the soul and mind. Yeah. I was afraid it was going to be. something that I could really never unsee. But yeah, I wouldn't do that to you because I, I can't, I'm so sensitive to that kind of

stuff. Like, like, like, tub girl, whatever. Like, I can't handle it. Like, some people like, wow, look at this. Like, they just keep looking at different stuff. You know what I mean? And I was, I'm just, I can't do it. Honestly, it's why I never really screwed with 4chan.

Yeah, no. Yeah. I just never did 4chan because, exactly. I never did 4chan. Same reason. I just can't handle it. Like, I appreciate its existence to a certain. degree. I know it's like evil, but it's sort of like this thing that kind of, the internet,

it's like it has to exist because the internet exists sort of in a certain way, but it's also terrible. But I am not, yeah, I've never, never dabbled very, very long in that space. Lemon Party. I feel like to go back to the swallowing semen to get more fertile thing, please. Like that old man did. I think he's got some of a lot of women party picture. I feel like it reminds me of like when I was pregnant and I listened to music in my headphones, I would like tell myself like, oh, the baby's listening to music with me. But then I was like, no, the baby can't hear the fucking music. The baby's not like a, like a, it's not like God, you know.

Like it's not like just because the baby's in my uterus doesn't mean like everything I experience. The baby's an omniscient narrator of your life. Right. Like they can't hear what's inside my brain, you know. But like, so there's, it's one of the, the drinking cement to get. more fertile thing is one of those things where you're like, yeah, that sounds right? It's something you can do. It's not going to hurt you to do it. Right. But nothing about it scientifically. And I'm not a doctor. Apparently this other person is,

but still, from my perspective, there's literally nothing about that scientifically that would make that true. I just, it's so bewildering that you would even accept that as a suggestion. You know what I mean? And that's why I think this guy's fucking with them. I think he's literally like, All right, then you have to sit in a bucket of piss. Definitely. You know what I mean? Because you could just tell them whatever. Go down to the corner of poo and you have to just go find your Eeyore.

And you know, Kim Kardashian said that celery juice cured her psoriasis. Like that family's relationship to like the medical profession is like, let's not. Whatever doctors they have found, I don't think are the doctors who we need to listen to. Maybe whatever alien bodies they have, it works for them. The Uber rich, I just think they can, you know, especially if they're all lifestyle-y type people and not just like the normal brand of workaholic Uber rich, right, that you also have, right? That just work themselves and drink themselves to death, right? And then you have just the Uber rich that are like, I'm into healing in all these different ways. And then like just a fucking parade of fuck faces enter their life and just like, yeah, um, say the word, uh, Skylark 12 times a day and it'll make your fucking arms grow. You know what I mean? Just like, you can just say anything. I want my arms to be so long and never have to bend over ever again.

I just kind of lean to the side. I'm like, I can pick up anything. Skylar, Skiler, Skylar! I'm doing fine. I actually, with my back issues these days, I would actually pay some good money to have arms that completely touch the ground. That's the thing. And also, I feel like if you've been struggling with infertility, I know from friends that have struggled with this for a long time that you get.

get to a point where you're like willing to try and you'll try anything. Tell me what I got to try. I'll try it. But this is why that family is so fucking dangerous because like it's just like the celery juice perises thing. It's like okay yeah. Like that's, and that's relatively harmless. And so I guess so is drinking semen.

But like, you know, it's just like people are going to listen to you and now all these women are going to be like, I guess I should drink my husband's come four times a week. And who does that benefit? Not them. Maybe them if they love Beaches. Yes, they love it. Travis Barker, yeah. Benefits him.

Of course you have them going, oh, I love this dog. You're what, no. This is my favorite doctor. Because we can't have a baby. Now she's got to eat my fucking cummy. Like, all right, bro. We get it.

So cool. You know what I mean? It's really cool for you. For you. And then it is just like, was it Marlon Wayne's that was just like, hell yeah bro like of course it just like use it for to be a bad man to the women of the land you know what I mean I'm just like all right here we guys roll out all the goof them up right ain't nothing wrong with anybody who wants to guzzle their husbands come but like let's let's not pretend that it has some a specific

benefit that again usually people are seeking like when they are when they are you know in need It like, let's not peg that to this. Like, make it something else funny. Like, drinking your... I mean, we've all heard that drinking semen will, you know, help your skin and stuff. So make it something harmless like that that you read in Cosmo. There you go. Yeah.

Or make it something harmless. I just sent you guys this article. I think it's because I saw Charlie Puth in a very small club recently that he just happened to be drunk and decided to perform at. And speaking of... Come, I guess. Oh, God. This episode. I forgot to look at this article.

He jerked off to a song? He jerked. What does it even mean? So Charlie Puth, who is a musician. He is friends with Adam Levine. Yes, Adam Levine from Maroon 5. And he recently told Adam Levine that the first song he ever jerked off to was, This love has taken.

Oh, my God. Right? Goodbye. I had to share it with you because I was like, that is, and it has nothing to do with the jerking off. I have just can't imagine listening to Maroon 5 and being like, I'm so horny, like the guy in the Jada Jackson video, where you're just like, I must. Like that song? I mean, there must have been some kind of, but I mean, I talk about, you know, having to jerk off to music videos back when, you know, in the olden days, but the pre-in-net days. But I don't know that that's what this.

He's not, I don't think he's even gay, though, per se. Who listens to an audio song? A song and is like, wow. You guys don't understand. He's serious about music. He's such a, exactly. He's such a musician. Music moves me so much.

Music can make him hard to his chord. You know what I mean? It's so dumb. Because that's what he says. Puth spoke openly about the value of sex and out intertwines with his music group. He says, this is a really weird. sentence. But if you took the instrumental only of my music, I want people to almost get turned on the frequency.

No. By the frequency, guys. By the frequency. No. Turn out to the frequency. I need to see a picture of like tits as well. Okay. If we can get that.

We've all been moved by music. Let's not inflate two different things. We've all been turned on. We've all been moved. It's so corny. And then to be like, I'm so tapped into sexuality with. music and stuff. And so the song that really got me was Maroon

Five. Not like I don't know, Marvin Gay or like some, I don't know, something that's like, like that song isn't even sexy. Like I don't even understand. It's like a radio song. How do you even go to the grocery store? Pharmacy fucking song. Then I listed, I'm like, fuck this. I want to get out of here so bad because of course for the million times CBS, you didn't

turn the AC cold enough. So I'm sweating at the CBS. I got this love playing. Oh yeah. Really a great time. to jerk my fucking dick up. Now I'm fired up. Now I'm fired up. Yeah, it reminds me of like shopping for antiperspirants and acids. Man, now whenever you hear an old woman sing running up that hillhold and I hope it brings you hardness. Yeah.

So many times throughout my life have I heard an old woman seeing that song. Oh, I mean, wouldn't we? It's so weird. Jackie, it goes like this. Running up that hill. Why would you go, ooh, you're right.

It does something. Thank you, MJ. Thank you so much. It's got a bunch of iron voice. I was more trying to hit the note more than it. And it's very synthy and swoopy. Yeah. It's like,

it's swoopy. Thank you very much, MJ. I get it. That song, I mean, even they have sexier songs. You know what I mean? I mean, Wuthering Heights is great. I will.

And I did. Kate Bush, too. There's only so much I can hear. I'm in even Maroon 5 has sexier songs. That song is not like, that song is like just a, oh, fuck man. You're saying if you had to jerk it to a Maroon 5 song. Yeah, I would be a different song. It definitely, I will say it wouldn't be moves like Jagger.

I hate that is probably my least favorite song. Maybe one of my top least favorite songs ever. Yeah, remember when they played the Super Bowl. Then the girls like you and then girls like. Me and then girls like us. Ew, dude. I hate fucking Maroon 5. I think I hate the Super Bowl halftime show.

And I was like, everyone was like, I don't even think I know that many Maroon 5 songs. And then as they went, everyone was just like, oh, I know that song. And I hate that song. It was just like the gradual tour of every song. God, it can't fucking stand. They bring that, they bring it back out of me,

that hatred I had for like boy bands and stuff back when I was in like middle of high school. It's like brings it back out of. And meanwhile, all those group bands, like I had to have that for in Sing and Backstreet Boys, turns out they were great. And Maroon 5 fucking sucks. Yeah. Oh, Moves I daga, you got the moot.

I like, ooh, I hate that fucking song. So I don't know why. I think my problem is I don't like Adam Levine. Yes. It really pours into because like Brut 5, it's just is in my brain. I'm like, okay, it exists. But then I just look at Adam Levine's face. And I'm just, there's something about him that just, yeah.

rubs me the wrong way. Yeah, he's bad. I will say apparently, because they're always on like the ask Reddit of like what band was great at first and then went very quickly downhill or lost quality over time.

And they're always listed, like their early stuff apparently was like actually okay and I should go listen to it. They had another band. I'm looking at the Wikipedia right now called Kara's Flowers that apparently that is more,

which is. Yeah, well the name's somehow shittier. Somehow that was a shittier name of a band. Kara's flowers. But it sounds like a fucking shitty flower delivery service to mall. And a fucking stranger things mall. But I guess we got to swing right into the celebrity conspiracy theory.

Is it about Adam Levine? He's got to be, he's probably not a good person, right? Or do I just get those vibes for no reason? I actually was going to go to bat for him and be like, oh, I think he's probably okay in real life. but I just don't like his sensibilities when it comes to music. But MJ fired the shots. MJ's on the fucking rampage now.

There must be a reason why we all hate him. I thought that we knew he was not like a bad man, but like a... I just hate his music. Well, he's just very... You know what it is? That's what it is. I think he's just a shitty man and not a friend.

He looks like the guy, at least from my perspective, this is just for me. He looks like the fucking guy who everyone knows sucks, but still ends up taking home the girl you're crushing. on from the house party in like college or whatever, right? Or in your early 20s in New York City from the bar, right? He's that guy. We're literally the girl you're crushing on who like,

she knows you kind of like her and but whatever and it's just not going to happen. She's like, yeah, he is a fucking piece of shit. I hate that guy. And then he shows up and you just like, the last thing you see before you just decide to get blackout drunk is them walking out and to the street together to go get a cab right home to have some fucking annoying sex. Sex the next day she's like he's not even good and bet you know what I mean like you're just like fucking stop stop doing this to you say I'm doing this to everybody

stop doing this to me stop doing this to you right he looks like that guy right he does look like that guy especially like he works very hard in his body so I think he all I think that's part of me that like he looks like he knows how stereotypically like hot he is and uses that

he's like the situation he reminds me of the situation I would love it if you ever meet Adam Oveen be like I always thought you were like the situation from Jersey Shore just to see the look on his face. Are you like that guy? Do you always like meddle and like you never take responsibility for anything? You're like a complete asshole. Like are you that guy?

Are you that guy? All right. Celebrity conspiracy. Well, it goes right back around to where we're talking about the beginning of the episode. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Are Cole Spouse and Lily Reinhardt not filming together? Whoa.

Honestly, that would make complete. Right? Yes. Maybe that explains the absolutely baffling plot lines from the season if they can't be in the same room together. This one comes in from Hannah who writes, Hey guys, longtime listener, first-time writer, Winky Face emoji.

I decided to write in as Riverdale plods to a close about a theory I have been cooking up in my own heads at Skull Spouse and Lily Reinhardt split. I noticed a while back that the scenes involving Jughead and Betty are shot really weird. Instead of a two shot and an over-the-shoulder mixed with some close-ups. By a two-shot,

just two people in the same frame, that over the shoulder, you know what they're talking about the cameras behind the actor. And then close-ups, yeah, we get a little breakdown. You know what I'm saying? A two-shot or three-shot.

I know some director kind of stuff or whatever. I don't know. I've dabbled a little bit. I'm kind of good with all the lenses and everything. I know how to fucking make a movie. I don't know. Fucking make deals happen.

I'll make a Winnie the Pooh movie. Most of the time they shoot Betty and Jughead separately and then have some kind of alternate angle, like another close-up or medium shot, but looking down. at each of them separately. Now, maybe I am putting too much thought into this.

Maybe my brain is seeing things that aren't there quite possible, as this entire show is a fever dream. But me thinks, Lily Reinhardt and Cole Spouse are not filmed together most of the time, save for a few select scenes. Could this be scheduling conflicts? Is Cole Sprouse wines, dines, and ditches women in their hotel rooms?

We talked about that. Too long ago? Possibly. Or maybe they just can't be in the same room together anymore, too spicy, perhaps. more likely they just hate each other at this point. What do you think? Am I thinking about this too much? I need you guys to analyze along with me.

Ha ha. Thanks. Thank you, Hannah. Love it. Love it, Hannah. Absolutely love it. Especially because they had an inkling of, they like dallyed with the fact that like,

oh, are Jughead and Betty going to get back together? Right. But then you notice MJ, that was just a blip. Totally lip. And then immediately gone again. So I do think that there's something to it. I think there's something to it too because there's been almost, I mean, it's hard to explain what's a conspiracy and what's just the, again, absolutely incomprehensible choices of the writers this season.

But, you know, like, there's almost never scenes with the four of them together. There's very few scenes between Betty and Jughead, even though, like, it would make sense for their characters to be collaborating or at least ever together. I'm totally sold on this theory. and I want to know how deep it goes. Like, is it influencing the plot lines that they can develop if they can't be in the same scenes together? It always blows my mind when these situations come up is it's like, wow, how much power you have to wield to be able to have that much of an effect on a massive production like Riverdale or anything of its ilk, right? Like, so many people are involved, so many hands, so many different workers on that set.

Yeah. It just blows me away to be like, no, I cannot. be on the soundstage with him. And also, who couldn't have seen this coming if you date your co-star and you're, you know, and all of them. Like, Veronica dates Reggie in the show as well as also dated him in real life. And then they broke up where it's like, you don't fall in love at the Jersey Shore. You don't.

Um, hello. Oh, wow. Hello. You guys have to join us on Thursdays, please. over on patreon.com 4 slash page 7 podcast and we have so much one watching the Jersey Shore

it's my favorite time of the week Yeah It's I mean now I just relate everything To the Jersey Shore It's because of the guiding framework For my life Yes So I guess Holden you can't even say

If you believe or not Because you're not You're not a Riverdale believer The way that we are I know but based on their dating history And everything I know From YouTube squawkers Oh we're squawking

You know we believe No, we're always be squawking. I'd probably believe it, yeah. All right, all right, fine, we all believe. We believe. Always be squawing. ABS, baby. ABS.

And now it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Ooh, see, this one just had some good, juicy, you know, cracked a lot of times has just like random facts in one list. But sometimes the list surprise you And this is one of those lists Like, Celine Dion and James Cameron Both hated my heart will go on

Aww Deon didn't much care for the song in general And Cameron just didn't think a pop song Would fit the epicness of the movie's story It's not often when you are both wrong And get richer at the same time Wow I hate that

I hate it too I kind of love it and Celie Deon did what care for this song. That is fun. Yeah. It's incredible. It has a kind of a flute sound I don't love. It's a very slow.

But it's so nautical. Boring. It's fine that she didn't like it, even though I do feel like it's very Sleen Deani. But I think it's annoying that James Cameron was like, a pop song will not embody the depth of my movie. I'm sorry, James Cameron, it was a pop movie. It was a pop movie about a terrible catastrophe, but it was a pop movie that of course needed a pop song. Of course it did. But did this need to happen?

I can't even imagine Holden how your penis would have exploded. Pamela Anderson was almost Dana Scully. Wow. According to Jillian Anderson, she was originally told that the producers were looking for someone bustier, taller, legier. And also with the last name of Anderson. I guess. That's so, yeah, and also weirdly with the last name of Anderson. Louis Anderson also almost got it.

Rest in peace, Louis. But yeah, I, you know, always say VIP, I had a VHS tape where I just taped my favorite moments from an episode of VIP that I would then incorporate into my bedroom activities. Oh. Yeah, well, I would play some songs first to really get me in the mood. Yeah, yeah. I play, yeah, tonight, tonight by Smashing Pumpkins. That would get me hard. You know, tonight, tonight, tonight.

It's not. No, then you put on some Maroon 5 and then you're really good to go. Hey, it's us. We're the Maroon 5 and wow. You're getting horny, boy. Honestly, though, way easier to imagine getting horny for tonight tonight than for Maroon 5. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Oh, wow, I could kind of get hard to that song. I think I could imagine it. Pumpkins for sure. But could you get horny to the save by the Bell theme song? Scott Gale, the writer, wrote both the Golden Girl. theme song and the saved by the bell theme song. And I gotta say, the man's got talent. That man's got talent.

Wow. That's good. Man, what a fun gig. I bet I would be good at that gig, for sure. Based on that, based on the race, based on all the songs you make up on this show, I think that you would be, you're Harry Styles. He's a doctor, she's a dog and together lives a slog. Hey.

Oh my God. Is that the song for my wedding? Yeah. Yeah, that would be super fun. Chas, the Golden Girls, got to take those photos from the Golden Girls set. They had at DragCon if you saw all that.

Yeah, it was so cute. Your ladies and you on your Golden Girls set. Yeah, Winnie, big fan of Golden Girls, just loves the show. She's clean. Yeah, but did you know that on Terminator 2 Judgment Day, Arnold Sortenegger,

got $21,000 and $429 $0.29 per word. $21,429. Jesus Christ, Jackie. It is one number, Jackie. That was so painful. That was just like... So, yeah, you got $21,000.

They got like $21,000. $1.29. He got $21,000 plus $429. Add those. two numbers up and that's how many much money he made per word. Several thousand cents. It barely exists.

Many cents. I'm saying it's per word, per word, because Arnold Schwarzenegger was paid $15 million for the movie and he only had 700 words of dialogue. Wow. So he got paid $21,429.

It's one word. Per word that he said. For which movie? For determining too. Because, you know, he's all stoic and stuff. So, yeah. Like, I'll be back.

Yeah. And it's such a... Yeah, he just says that. That's what he can say. I'll be back. They're like, all right, cool. Where are you going to get a sandwich? Can I have one too?

I'll be back. All right. E. Piquet, motherfucker. All right. It's from a different movie entirely. Please. Come on. Miss those, man.

And I'll lament this all day. I miss those. You know, where's the fast and furious? You know, they have the word family, I guess. We're family. But, but no. fun, cheeky tagline to accompany our big action movie.

What would happen to that? That was so great. Yeah, we need more cheekiness. We do need more cheekiness. Like Laurel and Hardy. Are you a Laurel and Hardy fan, MJ? I don't know why I immediately think you when I hear Laurel and Hardy.

I like an old-fashioned black and white slapstick team that transitioned from the silent era into the talkies, absolutely. Well, then it's a weird hybrid for you, MJ, because, no! from The Simpsons comes from a Laurel and Hardy actor. Homer Simpson's voice actor Dan Castellaneta based the now iconic uttering on Jimmy Finlayson,

but shortened it from... Dahl for pacing. Interesting. Oh, that's great. Honestly, Laurel and Hardy are fucking hilarious. Like, there is, like, the iconic scene of them is like they're driving a car. but, you know, it's like a 1920s car, and Hardy slams the door too, or maybe it's Laurel, one of them slams the door too hard, and then just gradually, like, the other door falls off, and then the tire falls off, and then the next tire falls off. It's just, like, absolute lesson in, like, fantastic comedy timing. Physical comedy.

All that old shit. It's so good. I got to get into more of that. And last but not least, Rue McClanhan, another Golden Girl's item, apparently kept all of Blanche's clothing. And McLean had so many of Blanche's polyester pants, padded blouses and dresses that she had her apartment's kitchen transformed into a closet. And that's just so Blanche, it hurts. And I keep possibly thinking about the fact that in Golden Girls, I think it's just because I'm watching it through for the first time right now. And the fact that they're supposed to be in their 50s. And it makes me really happy that we have grown past that ideology. that women in their 50s are like that.

Yeah, very bizarre to think about. It's really dumb. It's really dumb. It's just like that. Everyone compares it to and they're like, but in just like that, I'm done with talking about it just like that. I hate that it's coming back.

I never started and I'm done too. I'm pretty sure that it's coming back for another season. I refuse to engage with it as a Samantha. That's a no from me. Whoa, it's you from you, dog. It's a no from you, dog. And that's it for the list. All right, well, there was the list, but no show on page 7 would be complete without me going...

Blind! It's a fun little news story wrapped up into a blind item. Now that this longtime half-time sponsor has dropped out, it means the A-plus list singer is now first on the list of the powers that be to get her to perform. Pepsi and Britney Spears. Not Britney Spears, but very good guess. Definitely Pepsi, definitely obviously the NFL Super Bowl halftime show. There's a different singer, one who may be the greatest singer-songwriter of all time. Tay. Was that used to doing a Nell impression or was that the answer? Can you clarify the answer?

You just went, you just went, and I don't know if you need medical help or if that was a game. Yeah, so MJ... Well, I saw the little smile glazing over your face and how your eyes were going into the middle distance. And so I figured it was... How fun would that be? How fun would that be for me, though, if that happens? That would be very fun for you.

Because apparently... So first of all, news story bit, after 10 years, Pepsi is no longer the sponsor of the NFL Super Bowl halftime show. I did not know this. Wow. It is unknown who exactly will be taking on the $50 million price tag to replace Pepsi.

Though rumors are swirling, It either may be Amazon or Verizon, you know, that makes sense, usual suspects. It should also be noted, though, that T-Swift has been in a partnership with Diet Coke since, like, 2013. I don't know if she's still in the partnership, but it was a long-term partnership when they struck it up. And I think that this blind is also speculating that, you know, she was left off the list because of that, because Pepsi was the sponsor, the competitor of Coca-Cola. So now the doors have maybe been opened for a T-Swift halftime spectacular. how happy are you listener for me, even if you hate every single time I bring her up and it comes

out of my mouth. It's weird that she hasn't had one yet because I feel like the best halftime shows are ones where, again, see, Maroon 5, where like everyone knows at least 10 of their songs. And everyone knows at least 10 of Taylor Swift's songs. They can just jukebox it out. There's so many good, you know, guest spots to opportunities, you know. And unlike Maroon 5, at least 10 of her songs are very good. and it would be very enjoyable.

Very fun to dance to and party to. Right. And that's the kind of act too that I think it brings in the people they would want to bring in that might not initially be interested in watching a football game. So again, I think that it works for that dynamic as well.

It's really the perfect concept. It's really the perfect idea. And if they don't do it, they're all stupid, dumb idiots that should be put into a rocket ship and blasted, I don't know, to the moon or some other far-seeing planet, you fucking morons, if you don't choose her.

It's the perfect idea. It's the perfect idea. It's the perfect idea. I've got the perfect idea. Taylor Swift, half-time special. Wouldn't it be the best? Wouldn't it be the cat's pajamas? And there's just a cat in pajamas in the corner of the room.

Be it like, yeah. Why, where did that fucking dumb phrase come from? The cat's pajamas. Why? First of all, cats hate wearing shit. Cats hate wearing stuff. Right? So why would a good thing be the pajamas on a cat

when cats despise pajamas? Are you taking this act on the road, hold? Doesn't this sound like a real? It's because you're talking about the term cat also was coming into use by the flapper said as a slang word for a person or cool person. Thus, the cat's pajamas became a way to say that someone was cool. I was going to say it's got to be from the Laurel and Hardy days, at least.

There you go. Other phrases such as the Nats, whiskers were invented around the same. Let's bring that one back. Yeah, let's bring that one back. Oh, that's the Nats Wiskers. There you go. Well, thank you so much for that. The Nats.

Wiskers. I guess I can't take the bit on the road anymore because we answered the question just now. You're welcome. You're welcome, everybody. So I guess I'll put that one back on the shelf. I guess that's just the Nats Wiskas, isn't it? How perfect would that be and how amazing would that be, huh?

It would be the cat's pajamas. I would actually be extremely excited for a Taylor Swift halftime show. Oh, yeah. Oh, we all would. The world would. Even the people who are mean to me about it online. I would be happy to feel. I'm happy to feel the glow from you to watch you, watch you watch it live.

Personally, listen to this, who's opening up the Facebook group right now. Just know, I love how much you hate it. I love how much you hate it. I want you to go on Facebook right now. I'd be like, I hate how he talks about. And just know, I don't read it, and I love that you hate it. And I think it's great. And I love that you're listening to me, tell you how much I love that you hate it.

Don't do this to Jeff. Jeff's going to have to read it. Don't do it to Jeff. Jeff's what's like what gives me like a pep in my step when I'm like walking to the burger place to get lunch You know what I mean? I'm like they hate it when I talk about it It's the monkey's eyebrows which is also another

Right please we don't need to That's not a real one is it is that a real one? Abrows certainly is I've got a list now and I should never look up That's so fun That's what jamas came about That's so fun I'm so happy for you for that. Just, yeah, keep that pinned to whatever.

Yeah, next week's list is already done, Jackie. Yeah, we already got it. So just give us those. All right, here we go. That was only the first one. Let's keep it moving. This foreign born model slash actress that is everywhere these days says she partied this week with this A-list actress who used to be in that book series

turned franchise and they ended up in bed together. The first person is like everywhere, like every event making like a funny face and like hopnobbing and like partying and hooking up. Model slash actress. Model slash actress. Obviously the second person is Kristen Stewart, right? Yes. So who did she hook up with? Who's a model slash actress?

God, what else? What is she in? Let me just give you another hint. I don't know. She's just, that like it girl right now who's like super hot, but she's like hooking up with everybody. I don't know. She's a real valerian. That's the movie

What are you so pleased with himself right now? That's the movie she said. Wait, is that the woman that was in the three-way kiss with Tycho Waititi? Is it, uh, Desa Thompson? No, her name rhymes with Mara Seligine. Chloe Seven-Yea? I don't have a. Blank in the world.

Nats Whiskers. Care. Okay. Is it Cara Delavine? Yes. They used to be together. They were together, though. Aren't they together?

Oh, really? I don't know. No, I don't know. I didn't know. I couldn't think of a single clue for her. She's been like, she's been like, I'm surprised we haven't talked about her more in the show because she's constantly like in photos with like very famous people like making a weird face in the background or like there's.

all these rumors, like she's just hooked up with everybody, and she's just this party it girl right now. That's what I knew her from. I knew because she was dating St. Vincent. Caradolabine was dating St. Vincent. Yeah, she's like hot. She's like with all the hottest, like, actresses, musicians. The reason I don't talk about her ever is because I never,

I'm just like, she's always around. Yeah. Like I feel like there's never been anything that I'm like, she's dating and like banging lots of hot people. Lately she's just more. And I would love to watch the tape. Yeah, exactly. She's just a sexy one.

to kind of follow like a fun party girl in the moment right now. She's like every, she's in like every festival or like event, you know what I mean? Khan and blah, blah, blah. And that's where they were at. They were both at Cannes film festival recently.

And it should be noticed that the blinds used. By the way, Jackie, it should be noted that the blinds used the word awful to describe the book series turn franchise. But I deleted that for you. So there you go. Wow. Thank you. Removed it from the blind.

At Hurtigative at home for the three seconds that you read it. All right. Whoa, what's up? I'm just staring at pictures of, like, Kristen Stewart and St. Vincent. And I'm just, like, looking at pictures of Carrie. They're all hot. They're all very attractive. Yeah.

It does, the problem is I think that also Kara Delavine gets me under where I feel, like, when we were watching Gossip Girl, where I don't know if it's appropriate to say white blindness, but that I'm just like, oh, she's, like, really attractive. But if I was in. front of her, I probably wouldn't know it was her. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where they're all, I'm like very attractive and like watching Gossip Girl.

I'm like, oh, is that the one that does this thing? I was more with the boys in Gossip Girl that I was like, is that the, I just knew the one with the sneer was the bad one. The boys all looked the same in gossip. That was ridiculous. They all looked the same. That's just, but that's one of those two words just like, okay, this casting director has a type.

Yes. It's very fucking obvious. It's very funny when that happens. you're like, oh, this guy's the director does like this, huh? Doesn't they? This like Faye boy thing that anyways. All right. Closing it out.

This former A-List reality star who has been making a comeback has already really made a comeback at this point, lost millions on her NFT. Lindsay Lohan. No, the other one. Paris Hilton? From that era. Yes, because she also, she bought a Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT. She's been creating home. NFTs.

She's, she's, well, and you saw that, did you see that clip from her on Jimmy Fallon? Everybody was making fun. He was there both just like, yeah, look, my monkey man. And he's like, yeah, I also, you convinced me to spend way too much money on a picture of a monkey. And here's my monkey man. Isn't it so cold? And they're like, hyping it up like it's cool. And you're just like, this does not compute.

This doesn't compute. It's so weird. It's so weird to watch these people with so much money be like, I'll fuck my money. away. Yeah. How do I do it? So I just started following snoop dog on Instagram and it's all just trying to get people to get the Snoop NFT shit going.

Really? And it's just like, stop it. Yeah, that's a lot. Paris had this to say, I've always been an undercover nerd, so I've been obsessed with anything to do with technology in the future. Now my new nickname is the queen of the metaverse. Whoa. Oh, she's just like Dr. Strange.

She's just like all of us and Dr. Strange weirdly at the same time, which is unbelievable. Music note fight. Am I right, people? I'm not like all of us and like Dr. Strachian. Look, Jackie, we get it.

You don't like sorcery, but some of us do appreciate sorcery. I did even bring up Willow. We're talking about Willow next week, so you bookmark this. Okay, we're talking about Willow next week because I just watched it for the first time.

How do I do that? Bookmark it? Put it in your brain. Bookmark it. Thank you. MJ bookmarked it. I just watched it. Yeah, it's there.

Great. The Smith children, of course, we have to talk about them. But before we get into... I get it. You get it? Good pop culture. Thank you. Yeah, topical.

There you go. Yeah, she's into sorcery, I bet. I'm all sorcery all the time. Interesting. Sounds like, yeah, that would be something someone would say if they were clearly secretly a sorcery hater. Music note. I just said a music note in Zoom.

Oh, it's like I'm in a bad movie action scene. I'm just kidding. People like, all right, please not put them all together. The music notes. It came through the Zoom screen. It's a real multiverse out here. Thanks, guys. I needed the laughs today.

Yeah, of course. You're welcome. I can see you again. We're done. Congratulations. Welcome back, Holden, and goodbye everybody else. Thank you guys so much. We're joining us today.

And don't forget, remember when I screamed in the middle of the podcast? There, we're doing the Dilf Awards on June 8th, Wednesday, June 8th, over on Twitch. dot TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. We're going to be posting about it in our socials. So roll over and come hang out on Friday, over on Jackin with the Holdies, over on Twitch. combe forward slash Holdenators Ho, and come nominate a daddy of your own. And again, Stricks is sponsoring it. and they are making actual awards for people,

and I'm very excited about it. Thank you guys so much for joining us today, but other people have things to say. Hell yeah, dog. I laid at your feet. Check it out. Twitch.tv.4. slash hold Nader's ho.

Oh, wow. Monday, Tuesday, Friday. So scary. We've got a big marathon stream coming up as well. We've got a lot of things coming up. We've got the Riemann Show in Nashville. We've got a 15-hour stream fundraiser. For me and Ed and Jackie called two weddings and a baby.

That will be June 11th. We've got... Oh my God, MJ, you have to see the poster of it because truly photoshopped me and Holden and Eddie and baby winnie's face on the three men and a baby. Oh, my God. That's awesome. Awesome stuff. And yeah, DILF Awards, Daddy Awards, whatever you call it, is June 8th on. Oh, no, it's Jackie.

Twitch on TV forward slash Holdenit yourself. Patreon.com forward slash page. Page 7 podcasts. And last but not least, page 7 podcast at gmail.com, page the number seven, the numeral people podcast at gmail.com. Those conspiracy theories save my life. And thank you, thank you, everyone who sends them in. I won't get to yours, I promise.

MJ? My name's MJ and I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram. Let's sing the song. Shut. What were you about to sing? Oh, right. Let me out. All right, please.

All right, time for the shout-out. Let it. Shout. Shout. Shout. Let it out. These are the emails that you're running about. Come on.

We're going to run up that hill. Come on. Thank you guys so much for sending in your amazing shout-outs every week. And you can send in your own shout-outs to Page 7 podcast. at gmail.com if you'd like, and that's page 7 podcast at gmail.com, 7 the number. Now I read everything that you said unless this is celebrity conspiracy theory. I promise I never look at those. So always make sure to put in the subject line if it is a celebrity conspiracy theory

or if it is for Holden or for MJ or if it's just for me. Always let us know. And I love you guys so much for taking the time to reach out regardless. Now it's time for our shoutouts. First up is Maria. Maria, I just want to say thank you so much and happy almost birthday, baby. Maria says, I want to send Gemini shoutouts

for my bestie, Amy and I. Our birthdays are almost the same. June 9th and 11th. We've been friends since we were in elementary school. We grew up on the same block. Through the years our lives have had their ups and downs. We grew up, moved away, got married, et cetera. But somehow we both managed to move back to our hometown

and live less than a block away from each other once again. That's amazing. She's the first person who will be brutally honest with me and call me out of my bullshit, but also she loves me and accepts me despite my shortcomings. She's my favorite person, besides my husband, to drink wine, spill tea, and laugh with. She's been there for me through so many good and bad times. Her friendship means the world to me. She introduced me to all things LPN.

We both work 12-hour shifts and have time to live. listen to lots of podcasts. Amy has had her share of health issues, and despite living so close, we don't get to spend much time together. Page 7 has been a bright light to pick me up when I get in the daldrums. Oh, I love you, Maria. It's also my main source of celebrity gossip because I'm a busy mom of four and don't have time for much else. Oh, I hear you. I mean, I don't personally hear you, but also much love to you. Maria says, I love to sing along with Jackie in the opening of the show. I hope you, right up that here. Running up that rude.

I love the energy you all bring. I appreciate the perspectives. You all bring in relationships, family, and mental health. Keep on killing it. Love Maria. And we love you so much, Maria. Thank you so much for taking the time to send some love in. And now it's time, oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I just want to send all the love in the world to you, Emma. Do you guys remember that months ago, all of my love to you? Oh, months ago, Emma wrote in about her kick-ass beloved grandma, Mama Cass. to send some love her way after her passing, and it's time for her birthday shout out. A shout out to Mama Cass! I hope it's your energy I'm feeling in my bones right now, Mama Cass,

because I need you. Emma says, well, Mama Cass has been gone for six months, and today is her birthday. Her funeral happened the day after Mother's Day. She lived in a frozen zone of the country, so she was kept safe till the ground was breakable. She also chose her plot, photo included of her saying, about there, which Mama Cass, I just love you so much as soon as she knew the cancer was happening.

Today, my stepmom, my baby brother, and I went to have lunch by her grave for her birthday. She's literally exactly where she wanted to be buried at the top of the hill. It's got lights, flowers, and rainbow spinners like a holiday yard. We crank the tunes from her 75th birthday playlist and had some drinks, though we didn't have her black velvet for safety. We discussed her favorite and least favorite housewives and she responded with the wind. The rainbow spinners would go wild and settle down regardless of the breeze we were feeling.

It was straight up magic. I could feel her. Mom could feel her. Cedar pretended he couldn't feel her, but I know he did. How amazing is it that Mama Cass managed to live long enough to see the latest versions of her Hallmark Holiday movies? How amazing that she was able to get the cemetery plot

she straight up chose. And how fucking amazing. She was there with us today. Knowing my grandma, she would be so damn tickled to know y'all shouted her out. Emma, I'm just sidebar. I don't even know if you meant for me to read this aloud, but I just, it, like, I feel like I felt Mama Cass as I read it. So I had to read it aloud. Emma says the woman changed everyone she encountered, and I do believe for the better.

Oh shit, wait. One of her school bus students came to the funeral and got up to tell a story about how she was, the person who made going to school less traumatic for him. It was so hard not to sob. I couldn't talk. Shocking, considering I always have too many thoughts and words, and I wish I had. I wish I had said the things I'm capable of typing to you about this amazing woman. I love her.

I miss her. Well, Emma, I just want you to know, I'm sharing it now, baby. So don't worry. And thank you so much for sending it in. And Emma says, MJ, pour out a little one for Mama cast this Hallmark Christmas movie season, will you? and then shared some other pictures of MamaCass, and I just want to say all my love goes out to you, Emma, and to your family. And I think I felt her today, even though I never met her.

But, you know, maybe that's just because I'm vulnerable. But I also believe in those things. Much love to you. And also, oh, much love to Peter. Peter sent in such a beautiful shout out for their partner, Becky. Peter says she's been doing such a great job of putting up with the terror of the American health care system. From prescriptions of Adderall never being written and mailed out to the eternal hunt

for a pharmacy that wouldn't be so damn judgmental assuming she'll sell it, it's a pain. Oh my God, I completely understand Becky and so much love goes out to you. Peter says thankfully she's had a consistent place now, and many of the pharmacists there have been very kind and helpful to keep all her medications in line. Becky's also been so amazing at letting me know how she's doing on any given. day with her depression. I always am glad that she lets me know how rough a day it is so I can make it more bearable. I also want to say I'm so proud of her for making fun art she likes and we're slowly finding people who vibe with it. I totally checked it out. Please check out becklow.com,

B-E-C-L-O dot com. She's got silly humor, sometimes a little gross, sometimes very cute, and it is adorable and her work is delightful. Beclo.com, B-E-C-K-L-O dot com. Peter says, Becky, you're the most wonderful person I know. And since we're currently on our way down to see the whole L-B-N-Crew in Nashville, I hope you pay attention to this next part. The past 10 years with you have had ups and downs, but it has been the best, hey, pretty lady.

And I can't wait to meet you guys in Nashville. And you guys have to come to Nashville. Come hang out with us at the Riemann and Nashville. Oh my God. Becky, please marry Peter. I'm begging you. Peter, you must have been so scared writing this email. Oh, my God.

I'll see you guys in Nashville. And you guys all have to come to Nashville. Come to the Riemann on June 18th. Come hang out with us. And we have to go celebrate Peter and Becky. My God. Well, hopefully celebrate him. Becky, you have to do it.

or else you're going to make Peter and I both look like a fool. I just burst into tears. Can you tell that I like to do the... Peter said in the subject line, you might tear up at this, but I didn't finish reading the email because I liked to be surprised as I read the emails. And I didn't read that last line.

And so that bursting into tears was completely natural and real. And I love you guys. Congratulations. I'm already going to say it, Peter and Becky. congratulations. I love you guys and I love our community and I hope you guys, ah, have a great week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.