Page 7 - Ep. 456: You Know I'm Sexually Attracted to Richard Dreyfuss

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

This week we're gossin' 'bout the High Hot Dog Holy Holiday and Jackie's Cincinnati Hot Dog report, I Love A Mama's Boy grossness, Joey Chestnut choking out a dude at the Hot Dog eating championship and how Holden would have handled it, the history of the glizzy, Panera's soup themed swimwear, how eating fried chicken ice cream makes you feel, the fabulosity of Margaritaville X Crocs, cornholin', a bear that threatens to dry up the boob sweat market, and in the 100th Celeb Conspiracy Corner; Is Esme from Twilight a Vampire in REAL LIFE!? The List, Blindz, and SshOuuts! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

favorite time a year, it's time for hot dogs. Hot dog, hot dog, diggedy dog. Hot dog, hot dog, digity dog. Have you had to deal with this song yet, MJ? This song, Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Dog. Problem solved. Hot dog, hot dog, hot dog, hot digity dog. This is one of the songs from my nibling's childhood

that would get stuck in my head. I'm not familiar. No, my favorite one is hot dog hell. we're living in a hot dog. Oh, we're not. And that's what I feel like I'm in right now. As I was just telling Jackie, they got to switch teams.

I had so many bad burgers over the past few days. That's your problem. It's a high hot dog holy holiday. You were sent those bad burgers over the weekend because it wasn't their time to shine. They have so many other days out of the year. The 4th of July isn't it a burger day? Is that your stance?

That's my stance. I mean, yeah. Well, Jackie, can I then ask you, this, then why do we have such a cruel God? I don't know. You're asking the wrong one. In fact, that's your God. And maybe that's the problem.

I only pray down to they might be giants who sang the hot dog song from Mickey Mouse Playhouse. And you're right. Every time I pray, I like call, I like bully God in my prayers. Like, yeah, you fucker. Yeah, I bet you suck at it. Why you said it'd be bad burgers on the high hot dog holy holiday?

Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I bet you couldn't send me a bunch of bad burgers on the highest of the holidays for the dog. Are you flirting with God right now? Yeah, you naughty little God. You're negging God. You're dirty little God. Come out with a big hat on. Oh, look at my big hat God.

Exactly. That's like the ultimate like pickup artist. Like I managed to have a, you know, threesome with God and like some flusie. And the top hat. Ooh. Let me see. Just a giant hat. Just a huge, yeah.

We were in Cincinnati over the weekend, and I got to tell you, I give it up to you, Cincinnati, you make a great dog. We all know as the forever place, which I want to say thank you real quick, to the person that reached out to the head of NAMI, which is the North American Meat Institute, not the Mental Illness Foundation, where they asked if it was a permanent placement of me being the hot dog ambassador of the southwest region of the United States. the answer is yes. And also their reply said, she bleeds condiments. How could we take it away? And you know what? Thank you, Nami,

for giving me the shout out to the Sausage and Hot Dog Council. I just want to say thank you so much because I ate a lot of Cincinnati chili dogs this weekend. I ate six hot dogs in two days. It may have been too many, but I ate them for about four different locations. And what was the best dog?

Yeah, tell us about it. Tell us toppings. I want the deeds. Yeah, I want the best. I need the whim. What was like to, yeah, exactly. What was the best? Just raw dog.

Just like straight up with mustard. What was the best topping dog? And what dog would you make love to and marry if you had to choose? Great. Three bowl of points to get in. Three bowl points. Okay. So this is a lot.

I would say I am still particular to if I'm going to marry one of the hot dogs, I'm going to marry my own hot dog, which is the bacon wrapped dog with blue cheese and pickled onions and pickled jalapeno's with a shum. of mayo on top. And you don't think that's the kind of dog that's definitely going to start screwing around on the side? I mean, this is crazy talk, Jackie.

That's why I got to keep, I got to keep myself open. I got to keep myself honest so that my honest emotional communication can keep the dog tethered to me. That dog is immediately going to want to open up the relationship to a bag of chips or Vegas go-go dancer. We can have a foray with chips on the dog.

I'm not saying that we got those chips across. the room when you're interested in their vibe. I love that Cypressill song. Chips on the dog. I can smear some. Eat chips on the dog. Chips on the dog. You've got to keep your mind open sometimes.

What about raw dog, pure dog? Wait, raw dog, pure dog. I didn't have any raw dogs or pure dogs because I only had Cincinnati chili hot dogs. They've talked about this many times. They all have the same tap. They all have the same topics. Yes. So the Cincinnati chili, which I mean, I spoke to a couple of connoisseurs over the weekend

that the big thing that is in the Cincinnati chili that you really pick up on is the cinnamon. I hate to break it to everybody. I'm not that big of a cinnamon person. In a chili or in general? Yeah, I'm the bitch. I'm the bitch. I'm the bitch. I like it in the chili.

And the nice, like, you know, in a nice frothy cup of coffee with like a frothy milk. Nothing? Oatmeal? Wow, you call yourself fucking a Christmas bitch and you don't like cinnamon. Not a big cinnamon person. You know, I'm fine with the scent. Hallmark movie right there. This bitch doesn't like cinnamon.

Oh, my God. She likes Christmas. It's called a no cinnamon bitch Christmas. And you hate cinnamon. And through the power of Christmas and magic, you learn to like fall in love with the many. With a man made out of cinnamon? Is he made out of cinnamon sticks? A man made out of cinnamon eats.

you out. It has to be a man or they won't play it on Hallmark. So it has to be a big, thick, very masculine man that I brought. Yeah, he goes down on you. It's so good. You'd like love. I think it would be, I think it would hurt. Yeah, I don't want to. Don't let a reanimated cinnamon stick man. Go down. Okay, fine, Jackie NMJ. The cinnamon man won't give Jackie mouth pleasure, okay? Still, the basic

premise should be the same. And what about cider? Unless it's a spooky mistake and the cider? No, I'm with a spooky mistake, which again, remember, is apple cider mixed with orange LaCroix, mixed with fireball. Now, a spooky mistake, I'll drink all day. Because I even like Fireball. So I like the taste of cinnamon, but only in certain things. Yeah, I feel like if you told Lexi that, if you told my wife that, you would immediately

become fine friends secret bad friends. Like she would be talking bad about you behind your back, like to every. Why? Is she just like, she is a cinnamon apologist? Oh, she, no one should ever have to apologize to cinnamon. How dare you? I think that it sounds like that's what your wife is. No, no, no.

She's a cinnamon celebration. She's a cinnabration. Cinnamon has said anything wrong, Jackie. You can't be an apologize for a totally neutral spice. You say that, MJ, but I had six hot dogs with cinnamon on it. So they have wronged your butt. The city of Cincinnati needs to apologize, honey. Now, I'm wondering how long it's going to take our listeners to figure out that very little celebrity news happened this week.

And what happened is all bad. A lot of bad things happened. There's a couple of good things. Don't worry. Jim Kardashian canceled for the July. So did Katie Perry. Lots of celebrities canceled for the July. But again, if we could just take the America out of the holiday and remember the hot dogs.

Because I don't know if the hot dogs get the shaft just because America is a garbage dump right now. and has been for a very long time. I mean, hot dogs deserve their glory day. And I had to do this for us. At least we did get both of us on the plane on the way home from CINC. We both got to appreciate the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

You watched it on the plane? I wanted to be dead on the plane. Well, you're hung over on the plane. You're watching the hot dog eating contest. Oh, my God. I felt so sick. And especially when I started reading about because I had never heard,

because I kept bringing up, like the reversal of four. Fortune. The reverse, like, oh, if there's a reversal of fortune, you know, you get points taken off. I never actually watch. I've seen the hot dog eating competition once live, but I don't usually watch it in full on ESPN on the 4th. You just watch the highlights. Yeah.

Yeah. So watching all of it was an experience. And the reversal of fortune, which is a nice way of saying, if you puke, you get points off. really hurts when you are hungover and in the middle seat of a packed plane traveling on a holiday. I kind of wanted to be dead. And when it switched over to the cornhole competition, I was like, thank God. Cornhole I can handle right now. Oh, look at them.

Man, I will tell you what, they're very good at playing professional cornhole. I mean, did you also watch the clip of the I Love a Mama's Boy, Mother's Son, sexy dance while you were hungover? Because I watched both the Hot Dog Eating Contest footage and that, well, completely sober and not hungover. And I also wanted to puke. Sometimes you get the email from Jackie with all the fodder for the week. And you literally just, every email, every link, you just go, Jackie.

Jackie. And this was definitely one of those weeks. the, so I Love a Mama's boy is a discovery show about men who are way to attest them. Get your barf bags ready, people. And the child, the boy, the man picked the song for his mother son dance and it was sexual healing. And he's spanking her. For his wedding, by the way, for his wedding. For his wedding, what did I say?

I don't think we've said that this is like the dances for. Yeah, yeah, for the mother's son. Yeah, not just for some random mother son dance. I don't know what people do. You know, if you're on. called I Love a Mama's Boy. I used to say that they don't have a like mommy appreciation day where they do their sound and the fact that they're not, the fact that he's even getting married is just like makes

no sense after seeing that clip. He's asking his wife to be comes in just as he's going, come on mom, grind on me, grind on me some. Something is wrong with this man. He like obviously thinks it's really fun and funny. He's a sex criminal easily, allegedly. To like constantly talk about how sexy his mom is and touch her. and ask her to touch him.

And the girlfriend or the fiance is like, yeah, I get jealous because his mom will walk out in a bikini and he'll be like, damn, mom, look how sexy you are. And he never says that to me. And that is when you walk away. And by the way, she's not ugly, but she's not like, wow, wow, you know what I mean? She's not so hot that even if she was your mom, you'd want to fuck her.

Exactly. She's not like, you know what I mean? If Pamela Anderson was your mom, you're like, wow, why am I her kid and I have a crazy boat? Henry can make jokes sometimes. I'm kidding and edited it if you want to. No, I think it's fine. I'm trying to talk about Henry and I pretend that we're a couple.

We don't pretend we're a couple. We make the opposite joke where we say, hey, we're Henry and Jackie Zabrowski. We're not married. We make that joke a lot because I think it then deflex. But I've never walked out in an outfit and had Henry say, oh, damn. Yeah, damn, Jackie. Like, I feel like that would make me very uncomfortable. You got some thighs that tell some lies.

Even if he did, I feel like as peers and friends, it's one thing to be like to a sibling, like, hey, you look great. And obviously you can tell your parents they look great, too, but like to specifically use the word sexy for your mom and then not for your fiancee. And then repeatedly slap your mom's butt while you're dancing to sexual healing. And he has a big smile on his face. He's loving it. This is his personality. His personality is like, I want to F my mom. It's very disturbing.

And Jackie, let's watch it. Yeah, that's, I think, maybe more disturbing. I feel like she should be somehow incarcerated for what she did to us. This is what happens when you're working on the plane, hungover the day after one of your best friend's weddings. And these are the kind of links that you get. That's what happens. If I have to watch Joey Chestnut chokehold a protester,

in the middle of him winning the hot dog eating competition. It is, I couldn't believe it. So they had a protesterer during the Nathan's hot dog eating contest that of course happens on the 4th of July every year out on Coney Island. There was a protester that ran up on the stage, which man, this is becoming a fun new trend. But the protester had a Darth Vader mask on and they were holding a sign that said expose Smithfield's death star. So this was a, I believe,

I don't know if it was linked with PETA, but it was definitely referring to the treatment of factory farm animals. It was for animal rights. And Joey Jessup, because they ran up on the stage, middle of eating a hot dog, puts them in a chokehold, chokehold, gets them off.

So regardless of like, like, I'm like ignoring the cause, right? Like, that was so badass. Yeah, right. I think that the protester was protesting is probably very right. Completely true. But they shouldn't have jumped up on the stage. No, of course.

Don't jump on the stage. Yeah. Don't go out of the stage. Definitely when a bunch of people are choking on hot dogs. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm not comfortable with the proximity of the phrase chokehold so close to a man who's stuffing his face full of 63 hot dogs. You're going to choke yourself while you choke hold this fucking protester. Yes.

And he does it very smoothly and effortlessly. Exactly. That's what I admire so much because I am, I've had this issue before. A man with a cane punched me. and that cold-cocked me coming out of the subway, right? What was my reaction? Was it fight? No. Was it flight?

No. It was getting the fetal on the ground and accept my fate. And all I had to do was literally take three steps away from this guy and he wouldn't be able to catch up with me because he literally had a like broken foot and a cane. His foe was in like a cast. And so to see that immediate reaction of like, because what I would have done probably was like, yeah, like I said, like if I was Joey in that moment, I would have dropped to the and been like, hit me, hit me over and over again, hit me.

Kill me, you know what I mean? And I just don't understand. When I see someone react like a badass like that, I'm just like, man, I wish I had a little of that in me. Yeah. And that even didn't even distract him from his task. No, and he won by like 20 dogs, he won. He's such a maniac, man. I forgot how crazy much better he is at eating hot dogs than everyone else. Like, and this was a weak year for him, too, by the way, and he still beat everyone by like 20 dogs. His record is 76.

Yeah. I mean, but I love to be that that far ahead that you're like, oh, it's far lower than my personal best, but I still absolutely slaughtered the competition. I loved this quote from him, by the way, in the same article you sent, most athletes have two kinds of primes. Their first prime is when their body is the best.

I've passed that prime. The second prime is when their mind and knowledge is at its best, where you know your body and how to practice less, but be just as prepared. I'm there now. Hell yeah. Yeah.

I love you. Hell yeah. I love it. It, like, that's, it's so interesting to watch all of these people shoving dogs and all of the rules that come with it. And also, ESPN has such an insane amount of fodder in between this very short 10-minute contest. There's all this, like, backstory about, like, these two.

competitive eaters that fell in love and now they have the big I love that. What is happening on ESPN? Yeah, it was beautiful. But Jackie, you keep saying dogs and hot dogs, but honestly, it's 2022. I prefer glizzy. So hold it and don't even pretend like you both, either one of you, knew what a glizzy is. I'm a bit of a glizzy guy, but you know, I guess if you're going to try to say that before the show, we talked about how we've never heard of that before, but go on. Yeah, Jackie said the link to something talking about glissies and I literally had to like reference a previous text like I was researching something like what is this? Well, because I had sent a, I had sent an article talking about Glizzy Fest, which is a five-hour

celebration of hot dogs that was happening over the weekend. And because at Glizzy Fest, they had debuted a hard seltzer that was brewed with leftover hot dog water. Yeah, this is a mostly glizzy centric episode today. I'm a lot of disturbing news today. You know I love a hard seltzer, even though they always give me a headache. I will drink them if you hand them to me. But hot, and I like the, I don't really eat hot dogs, but I like the idea of a hot dog. I mostly like the toppings. I probably would drink the hot dog water seltzer, but I still think it's, I think it's a stretch.

I definitely drink it. I definitely, I mean, you got, I mean, you think about like, you've got like a bloody bull, you know, where they put the beef stock into a, into a bloody mariner. Mary. And I really like, so I feel like I'm like, oh, it's probably got to bring something, but maybe that's because it's with the tomato base. I'm not saying that it's a great thing, but I do think it's crazy that you guys still stare at the internet and don't know that a glizzy is a hot dog. I got to get on your internet. My internet is talking about ways way worse. MJ's internet is literally like smoke. Smoke comes out of it. Crimes against humanity at every turn. And your internet is like,

Glyse Fats. If Jays got the Wujan bat just being like, yeah, I fucking hate abortions. You know what I mean? It's just a nightmare. I just can't be, I can't believe I haven't put a glizzy and a jizzy yet, and I know that people have been begging for glizzies and jizzies. Because we're jizzy

people, and I was like, is this a reference to jizzies, which Jackie invented? But it turns out it's not connected at all. No, glissies I sent them this distractify article that was like, what does a glissie mean? And it's like, So how did the common hot dog come to be known as a glizzy? Originally, the term originated in the DMV,

aka the D.C. Maryland, Virginia area. For years, Glyssie was simply a slang term for a Glock. Now, last time we checked, a gun is not a hot dog. I don't know. These days, we're getting there. We're very close to that, I think. You get a free gun every time you buy a hot dog. You get shot, taking a bite out of it.

Yeah, that's where we're headed. Yeah, I had to check all my bags on the way home because I'm like, what am I going to do with all these guns? I had too many Cincinnati dogs. I just like that being said, Glyssie apparently became another word for a hot dog due to its similarity in shape and size to an extended clip that one might use with a clock. This is, I just, who wrote this article? And why did they write it Like they were they're gonna tie me to a train track somewhere Because they want a different job

But this is the one they currently Have and it's at least it's writing So they can at least be like I am technically a writer I can't believe it This is our second week in a row talking about savory alcohol Because we also had a conversation about Clamato juice last week And now we're over here to talk about hot dog water You know, I guess we have our themes.

You wait till we get to, you gotta be soup and me. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. The themed swimwear. I didn't know. The funniest part about these ones is that like you open up with like this article has been sent to me by a million people. And it's just like, Panera just dropped a soup themed swimwear collection. This is what Jackie opens up Gmail to.

I mean, I guess again, it's better than MJ. It just opens it up to. Oh. Ghost just like ghosts just like fly out of your email and Twitter. Every time I open up my laptop, it's just like a transphobic ghost screaming. Just dead, just dead naming you. It's a dead name of you. Panera has apparently also leaned into being like a, I mean, Panera is fine.

I'm not about to shit talk anybody who likes Tina Panera. But they're like, it's like self-aware. branding, you know, like, oh, we love a, we love a thick, creamy soup and a bowl of bread. What better to talk about than that with summer? Let's turn it into a swimsuit. And so they have broccoli cheddar swim trunks and swimsuits. And I think we should all get matchies. I think we should get matchies. And I'm sorry, I'm just sitting here with the ugliest face on right now because I just clicked a link because food and wine, what's going on over here at this magazine? Velvita just dropped a cheese-scented nail polish.

In the headline, I saw underneath the soup. Food of Lent Spazer's Top Chef, that's supposed to be like the fancy food magazine. Next to it, next to it, the pasta bag is making a comeback this summer, and it's just like a, you know, those boxes of like pasta, but it's just a purse. But it's a version of that. Why are they getting into fashion? Just do food stuff, you idiots? You're called food and wine. I've got my pasta box purse.

My Velvee. Scented nails and my soup swimsuit. Oh my God, especially Velvita's tagline for it. Our Velvita Pinkies Out Polish gives pleasure seekers everywhere, an irresistible new way to show the world that they are living La Delce Velvita by living pinkies out. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love a queso.

I think a canned queso is delicious. But are you living La Delje Velvita? I'm not living La Delveita yet. But maybe I will be. if I paint my fucking fingernails to smell like I dipped him in a can of queso every time. Salt and straw created perfumes you're supposed to spritz on ice cream. That's interesting. Okay, so I saw salt and straw, by the way, and can I just throw you guys out?

Diet starts today. Before we left, I was curious, I saw an article, Salt and Straw was putting out a certain kind of ice cream. I was like, I would be interested to try that. So Lexi surprised me with a pint of it or whatever it is. and it is fried chicken ice cream. Whoa, is it good? It was pretty good.

I thought that's good. I felt like trash eating it though. I felt like pure human garbage. I felt like pizza the hut from space balls eating it, you know, just like slime dripping off of me and like it was so gross, but it was so good. It was so dirty. Like, I mean, just it was like fried chicken. I'm thinking of like vanilla ice cream. I mean, they make, salt and straw makes my favorite caramel

ice cream. It's like, they make incredible stuff. I ate one one time they put bugs in it and it was delicious. Bugs. I've had the flower ones. I think they were the ones too to do the breast milk ice cream even. We talked about that a long time ago. But yeah, fried chicken. They paired, they teamed up with some like fried chicken company. Man. Like I said, I only eat, I think there's still like half a thing in there of it because like I haven't got back to it because I just felt like such a dirty asshole. I think you might have liked it more if you were living La Delce Velvita and if you could just smell the cheese as you brought the spoon up to your mouth.

That's so nasty, bro. I don't want my fingers to smell cheesy. Think of after you suck back a whole bag of Doritos. And nowadays, I know it's bad form and I've learned that you don't suck on your fingers after you eat something anymore, which is the best. I mean, for the germs. Have you just washed your hands? I guess it's one thing.

But I'm like, I was on the plane yesterday, eating Doritos. And I was like, don't lick your things. But then, even with the sanitizer, it still smelled faintly of old cheese. And now I'm thinking about that being hung over on the plane yesterday. And the way that made me feel. And then imagine if there was just velvita nail polish all the time. I have one more food and wine headline for you guys. Oh, my God.

It never stops. Official Margaritaville Crocs are here so you can waste away in style. Okay, that is, that I will, that's what's gonna push me over the edge to wear cracks more than one, more than two times. And they come with a bunch of like, a parrot and a salt shaker of salt.

Here, I'll send you the link in chat. They come with a parent and, yes, I'll buy them right now while we're recording. Salt shaker of salt and ice cubes. Food and wine. What has gone wrong with you? What's going on over there? Okay, these are great.

Honestly, I will absolutely buy these. They have a whole shaker of salt and a whole shot glass and a whole live on the front of one crock. And then the other crock has two ice cubes and an umbrella. I think they're fantastic. I have been denying being a crock bro for the last several months. But I think this is what's going to turn me. This is it. MJ, according to Margarita Vild, I believe that is the chain of restaurants and crocs. They say, sit back, relax, and unwind on island time, wherever you go. And that it's a unique iteration of Crocs, most iconic silhouette, quote, that embraces a vacation state of mind while delivering the authentic Crocs comfort you know and love. So there you go. If I'm quiet for the next few minutes, it's because I'm going to be ordering these.

I'm just saying that maybe you could have had them over the weekend when your child lost their lovey. you probably could have just kicked back and be like, oh, there's the loss of salt. It's like my child doesn't been screaming for hours. Yeah, no, I've just got to channel the fleeting feeling of relaxation with this fun shot glass themed crock. I did over the weekend when we were on vacation, we were waiting for the food to come at a restaurant and my kids wanted to eat some of the salt from the shaker.

And I was like, lick your palm and I'll sprinkle some salt onto your palm and you can lick it off. And then I was like, am I basically teaching them how to do a tequila shot? Do a tequila shot. I mean, honestly, though, think of how long in your experience that I didn't know you were supposed to lick before you put the salt. So I would just kind of like put it on and like, you know, why it like fell off my hand. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's good luck at least.

Some probably whenever your shoulders. Yeah, and then, but then you have to throw it over your shoulder or else it's bad luck. Lexi does that all the time of the way. I'm like, you're getting salt all over the fucking floor. Stop doing that. I always have to throw it over my shoulder, but you got to go over to the sink, you know. Yeah, she'll just throw it.

Yeah. We'll be in bed and she'll, I'll be like, where'd you get salt from? We're in bed. I'm just excited to go to the pool, just wearing a bathing suit that just says soup on it. Yeah, you got to get the soup one. I'll get the Brock cheddar trunks

if you get the one that just says soup. So nothing happened with celebrities is what you're telling me. Soup. Oh, my brides. We're going to put soup. Oh, my breasts. No, that's not true. We could definitely talk about

Victoria Beckham being weighed on live television two months after she gave birth to see how much weight she had gained postpartum. All right, never mind. Let's go back to the food clothing. R. Kelly, we talk about Josh Dugger. There's lots of things that we can definitely talk about right now. I will say, you know, a big, oh, hell yeah, 30 years.

That's good. That feels good. I think 30 years feels good. it's the entire time and that it doesn't get out. And Josh Dugger, you know what? Twelve years wasn't enough. Not enough. Because I hate to interrupt the Dugger talk,

but when you search for Margarita on the Crocs website, you don't get the Margaritaville Crocs, but you do get the Taco Tuesday pack, which is a different set of crocs that comes with gibbets that have a taco, an avocado, a hot sauce,

and just a gibbet that says Tuesday. So... Why do you want a jibbitt the Justice Tuesday? You gotta get him in the Taco Tuesday pack, I think. You have to wear all of the chibits or else you're just being like, yeah, I love Tuesday. So that weirdo just likes Tuesday.

The worst day? Yeah. There's no side of the weekend. Yeah. And you get all of the work you can do on Monday. Neither started nor ended. It is just, you're just in it. It is just not.

We're in Tuesday right now. I hate it. I just can't wait for Wednesday. It's a hump day. You know, it's a good time. Tuesday, nothing. I guess that's why we have tacos to give us a little bit of it. That's why we made Taco Tuesday, right?

To give us a little bit of small, tiny joy in the worst day of the week. Yeah, to get us through. But I'm surprised, Holden, that you like Taco Tuesday, hater of all things that make people smile. I'm surprised that's something you're like, oh, oh, you have to get it. Yeah, it's a bit of a meme, isn't it, Holden? Do you hate it? I like things that make people happen.

I mean, I like swimming pools. Don't worry. Taco Tuesday with your best friend, your wife. She's my teammate. I like what Christina P. actually brought it up in her last stand-up special, and she said that your best friend is not your husband. Your best friend is the person you go to complain about your husband, too. And that I absolutely wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. And I've heard a couple of other rumblings of people complaining about the best friend thing.

So you know what? Maybe I'm ahead of the curve. You ever think about that? And the curve is fucking, you know, all the things or whatever, whatever they say or whatever. You know what I mean? Yeah. But Holden, did you do the conga line over the weekend? Because I needed to act.

Absolutely abstained. Was there a conga line? And you stood back with your arms crossed, frowning like a dad, being like, I won't. I was, I mean, the conga line is slightly more in. than the order, the rule dancing, the ordered dancing. I mean, I would just say, like, you know, do you want to feel like you're in the army at boot camp? Yes. Then you might like the Chachas slide. But when it comes to the, but yes, I did absolutely happily abstain from that. I was over by the bar and I had a good time. That's very bad. I ran from the bar. I think I left you at the bar.

I was going to say, Gondon line cannonball, which was weird, you jumped into the conga line in a cannonball formation. That was crazy. That is the perfect body but of holding the Jackie.

Holden's like, oh, conglide, this is my chance to go to the bar. And Jack is like, throws her drink up in the air. It's pushing people over to get the conglaline. Dude, I had a great time of that wedding, but my one gaffe was,

I was hanging out with a small group of people, one of them being my ex so I hadn't talked to in forever and I told this story that I won't go into detail but it ends with a suicide and I was like as I was saying

if you ever do this at a wedding as you're telling the story you're like wait why am I telling this story this is a terrible story to tell them it's not good nothing about this good and then the guy fucking killed

and they're all just silently fearing it and everyone in the background is dancing to like YMCA I think it was the conglide moment. And I just was like, Holden, why did she tell? What is that? There's got to be a name.

There's got to be like a German word for that. Like when you just like don't your brain and mouth just take over in a way that you just. And you're watching it happen almost cartoonishly where you're just like your brain is begging you. She was just like. And then Holden just brings the whole room down or whatever. She was so great. She was such a good like wing wife for that. She helped at least keep it kind of like

It's even me, I'm like, I feel like I was seeing to apologize I'm not that dark. Like, I don't know why I've fucking told that story. Does it make any sense? I just hate it. That's the perfect thing. It only happens when you're around an ex too, you know? Yes, it's like, oh course.

It was like, and I was totally like, we haven't talked that much. I was like, I'm going to make, you know, I'm going to go and like make it effort. Like, we're going to catch up with everybody and have a good funny moment with everybody and then just fucking what, man, happened. Why? I keep thinking about it. And so now I'm just going to be plagued with this fucking story. And Lexington the next day was like, we were like, yeah, that was,

wedding was great. We had so much fun. And then why did you tell that fucking story? I was like, I don't know. I wasn't that drunk. Like, I wasn't, you know, I wasn't that messed up at all. Like, I actually made an effort to pace myself. It's like I got way too hammered the night before.

so I really made an effort to pace myself with a wedding so I could have conversations with people like, you know, catch up and stuff and just... You should have seen MJ how legitimately angry Holden got when he lost at Cornhole twice in a row. I could feel his anger through the party. Yeah, I can work on my hole, man. I got to work on my whole.

And it was good to study up on professional cornhole the next day. By the way, Jackie, I swear to God and MJ. Cornhole, right? Okay, so they were showing like winners of previous Cornhole championships. We were both watching ESPN. We were both watching ESPN? Yes. The situation pops up as part of one of the cornhole professional cornhole teams.

He's one of the masters of cornhole. He's a pro. The situation is a girl master. Oh, yes. But of course he is because you got, if you're a bro, you got to be a professional fun haver. Oh, my God, MJ. You have to see these dudes and some ladies too, but these. dudes are so ridiculous.

Like so many of them have like boy faces. They're like in men's bodies, but they have like boy faces. I know exactly what you mean. Right? It's like the whole, it's such bros. It's so funny. Like it was, it was great. That's all I can think about.

I was like very impressed by how good they are throwing a bag into a hole on a board. But besides that, like just, I just was judging that. I was just like looking at all these dudes just be like, I just imagining them at the bar. Like, yeah. Imagine them at the bar. like being like, yeah, I'm a competitive cornholer. It's actually pretty much. But of course it is.

It's still a skill. But my problem is I'm still a 13 year old on the inside that all of them are called like the super hole challenge. And then one of them is called Quar and Hole. And I was like, uh, uh, yeah, had a couple of sessions of quor and hole myself. Yeah. Um, that is my problem as I watch them in all of the cornhole jokes that are made, not by the competitors because they take it very seriously. Cornhole is you gotta have the thrust. I don't think

I have the link for cornhole. You know what I mean? It is insane how, I mean, they don't make every, they don't get a bag in it. Yeah, yeah, they don't get a bag into every hole for sure, but like, or they don't get every bag into the hole, but like most of them. It is like unbelievable. And they'll literally, it'll just go right in. You're like, how that is insane. Especially somebody who lost a couple times. And I think was pretty cool about it. I kind of brushed it off. kind of let it just flow right past some like water and just really move on with the night. Oh, like you did?

Yeah, I think I did that. I think I was really super cool about it. Why did I play this again? Why would I play this again? That's twice in a row. So brutal, but shout out to Adam Words, my partner. You deserved better, man. Shout out to my partner, Jeffrey, who beat the beat to them.

Shout out. Professional rivalry. I'm kidding. Jeff, Jeff, nothing but netted the final point, too. It's kind of amazing. Yeah, he's pretty good at Cornell, but he's got the link. This is what I'm talking about.

He's got the link. And sobriety. And the sobriety. I believe this is the other thing. He did not have at all, especially the final game of the night. Oh, he must love like into the night games. It's just got to be like playing with children.

You know, you're just like, oh, no, I won again. Wow. That's crazy. That's what he does. He'll help you up off the ground. He just cleans up against everybody. Just playing pool, play in pool, play. play in darts anywhere you could find

with him. I'm going to get them all. Yeah, I'm going to get them all. It's like the Pokemon of defeating drug people at Bargay. Got to catch them all. But maybe we've got to catch the bear that, you know, the little piece of news that we do have, don't worry.

90-day fiance star, Stephanie, remember the one that we talked about a long time ago? She's so gross, dude. Is now selling her boob sweats. But she has to stop production. because there's been a bear around her pool, and she can't sweat as much if she's inside. She's nasty.

So the bear is disrupting the production of the boob sweat because she can't relax at the pool because a bear might ball her. Because the bear is she, because she sits by the pool, and that's where she collects her boobs sweat, and that's where she gets the most. But what I'm just surprised is I am a sweaty person. And all I can think is, like, how does she collect it?

Yeah. How do you get it in there? Do you have to get, like, drainage tubes that you just keep it? underneath your breasts to suck it all out or like a little vacuum just like a liquid vacuum to suck it out?

Because all you need is bottles, sun, chachas. Hold on I'm watching this video. Bottles, sun, ch ch chas, and one other thing, I don't know. And then all I need it's bottles, sun, chachas and sit out like a maple tree for hours. Yeah, so it sounds like there's like an irrigation system where you got to get some tubes

leading to the bottles, right? Right, no, she just has like a bottle in her bathing suit. It doesn't even make any sense. I don't even understand how it would get collected that way. No, and that's why I call bully. I call bully on this.

I don't think it's all her boobs sweat. I would want to get actual like sweat strips. I don't know how you check to make sure it's all sweat. Because I call bully on it. Yeah. I think I call bully on all of everything about her. Three to $500

per bottle of boob sweat. And is it, what is the idea? You sell it to people? fucking creeps who want a cereal kill you and they keep your boob sweat and stuff? I think so because I guess there's lots of things like I understand

I guess it's just certain fetishes that you use it and then maybe you put it on so you just smell it or maybe you off it. Okay, yeah I guess I shouldn't King's Shame and suggest that people who want to buy her boob sweat are free. It's just for $3 to $500. This is going to make you feel really bad. She also had this to say, what so little people

see is that the farts, the sweat are all just smoke and mirrors. I work my ass and tites off every day on building a life for myself because I never grow up with opportunities just handed to me. Everything I have I bought and built on my own. In time, the world will see that. For now, stay

mad. Well, that's a little. Which also just obviously means that, oh my God, and Miona, from the newest season commented a top comment on that being like, yeah, girl, queen, which is the layer's the makeup girl.

Oh, I know Miona. I've watched it. This new season of 90-day has been, it's been getting me upset, NJ. Over on the talking TVs, we yell. What are you going to do, Jackie? And MJ, you're going to stay mad? Are you going to concede and realize that this is,

you know, legit? I think I need to start scraping at my body and saving my sweat so that I can start save. This is the kind of money that you make. All you need are chachas and a bottle. I bet somebody give you like $30 for a pussy hair. You think so? That's kind of sweet.

That's kind of nice. Yeah, that will stay mad that we're not making that kind of money. Yeah, and then I'll get, I'll be like, how dare you, Jackie? I thought I used to know you, but I'll talk bad about you by your back all day. Don't, don't. Ouch, I'm very vulnerable right now. We all got home very late last night, and we're all very vulnerable. All right, I'll stop doing it.

All right, I'll stop doing it. Yeah, well, the people from Halloween town are engaged. And isn't that nice? And you're right. I don't know anything about Holden. You two, old. Yeah,

so Holden's too old to give a shit in all caps with the old by the way. Too old. It's because you were of senior in high school.

If you were a senior in high school watching the Disney Channel original movie Halloween Town in 2001, it would have been creepy, creepier than buying

someone else's boobs sweat. Yes, definitely. I think so. And if you were watching it when you were a senior, but like the movie came out a long time ago and you just love the movie

completely understand. Totally fine, but different to be like, I ship these 13 year olds at Halloween town. But now they're grownups. And now we can ship them, I guess. Although I would say give it a watch, though,

because it does hold up maybe around Christmas time because it's on a Christmas. Yeah, watch it at Christmas time, you old man. Because you don't even know when to watch it. Yeah. You don't get it. You just said to ask you. You don't get it.

You're old. You are old. All right, fine. I'll start talking about it behind your back again. No. So that's fine. Yeah. I'm talking to Ed about you.

And I'm talking to. We just got married. Mazel Eddie. I'm talking about you. Congratulations, Eddie and Julie. Jackie thinks you stink. Jackie thinks you smell and stuff like that. I mean, I used to on Roundtable,

tell him all the time he smelled like baloney, but he did smell like baloney. But he doesn't smell like baloney anymore. So, well, he's actually quite in shape these days. Oh yeah, he's killing it. I will say this, ask this quandary. What's the deal with Halloween Town? Why is it?

Why did it have the magic that moved you? I need this explanation too. It's just delightful. Is it? I feel like it's, it hits a lot of the same points. I don't want to compare it to a hocus pocus, because I feel like that will get me, that will get me publicly shamed.

But it falls in that category of like, in that category. It's a Halloween movie that's not like scary, that's just fun Halloween. That's just great. It's just like, it's just a good fun movie that like if you watch it, you know,

if you did, if you missed out on it when you were a kid that you couldn't watch, you'd be like, I can see why, why so many people enjoyed this so much. Okay. Yeah.

But now the two, leads, they grew up, and then they met each other at a con, like, again, like they kind of lost touch. And now they're engaged to be wed. And that's adorable because they did a movie together, you know, 20 years ago. And they found love in a hopeless place. Isn't that nice? I love it. I love it. And they let make love and I love that. And I also am excited because Sister Wives, number one, MJ, I'm so glad because you watch Sister Wives now. So you completely understand the happiness that comes from Leon Brown coming out as a transgender person and who is the only child of Mary, the first wife. And so that was already in the world.

Sorry, Holden, you don't care about this, but MJ and I need to discuss this. Well, mind you, I'm still early. I'm still, I think, only in season two. But, like, their deal as a kid was they were like, I don't really like. fit in with everybody else and I like kind of feel like different and then I saw that they came out like as queer like at some point a few years ago right and then now have come out and I believe is I think they ended up getting married I think that like them and their partner got married and the sister wife mama has been supportive and they are they are they are all supportive of it they are

and like that's why I like sister wives is the fact that they're like well it is definitely outside of our religion however we support you and we can And, like, they're both in the show as, like, they're not, it's not like they were kept away from the rest of the sister wives or the other kids. And, you know, of course, how much of it is for optics will never actually understand. Sure. But I like that they give their kids not only the choice to be who they want to be, as well as whether or not they're going to keep the faith, as well as make the choices that their parents made,

which is why I like the sister wives so much. Yeah, I do think, I, the biggest surprise of 2020. for me, is watching There's been a lot of surprises. A lot of surprise, MJ. There's been a lot of surprises. And the biggest, by far, has been watching Sister Wives and being like,

I think these people are pretty nice. I think they're good parents. And I think they're a nice family. And I totally understand the appeal of this, minus the patriarchy part. But like everything. And also, because of you, I'm watching Eat Sweet Preo Bay,

which is what I can't stop calling it. Eat Sweet Preo. I, I, want to see the mashup of eat, pray, love, and keep sweet prey and obey so badly. I cannot call it anything aside from Eat sweet pray obey. Eat it sweet pray obey. But I've, because of Jackie, I'm watching all Mormon content now because of Jackie. And I guess that the, the, the sister wise people, despite being polygamous, must not be

the same type of FLDS people that those FLDS people. They're not, they're not accepted in either. community. So it is, like, especially the fact that like it's supposed to, I'm sorry, I'm going to go on a diatriary about this is not the place for it. I will stop myself right now. I just wanted to say congrats Leon Brown. It's got to be very scary.

We'll talk off Mike about the, oh, we're going to talk off the web of Mormon. We're going to talk off mic about it. Good Lord. Watching poor Holden's face just shut down lunch meeting after so. Oh, we got to wrap this up. Okay, all right.

No, no, no, we have plenty of time for a celebrity conspiracy. I can't believe I'm about to say this. Celebrity conspiracy number 100. That's right. We made it. We made it. And, Jackie, this one goes out to you. Hit me with the share.

Do you believe it? Is Esme from Twilight a vampire in real life? What? We're getting to it. We're getting to it. if you watched the Nashville special, it was part of the bit. But I cut Jackie off

when she's about to launch into this. See, this is the thing is that it was a part of the bit when we said we had no time to talk about it, but we also literally did not have time to talk about the story. Yes, we actually had to kind of cut it for time, but also it prompted the I'm sorry song, which was a lot of fun.

Go check that out if you still can. I don't even think you can. So it's dead to you. It's lost to you. When I was driving in silence on my way to Newport and tried to not wake up my car. kids I had the I'm sorry song in my head.

And so I was just driving late at night silently in my head being like this Christmas in Cincinnati. And I'm feeling baddie. I mean, by the way, God bless all of you production people and hospitality people that ride in with these legit tales of horror. Please keep them coming. It is so good. And this one comes in from Chloe who says, hello, you lovely three.

I've been holding on to this one for a while now, but after having heard this same story from multiple other people, I'm convinced. So, I work at a hotel in California, and the actress who plays Esme and Twilight, Elizabeth Reiser, came to stay for two nights with her partner. The next morning, after the first night,

the housekeeping team went into their room to tidy up when they opened the door. There was all caps, blood everywhere. Blood everywhere. There was so much blood that housekeeping had to completely throw away the duvet and pillows from the bed, as well as get the rugs professionally shampooed. Being a nice hotel, we didn't say anything about the incident to the actress or her partner, but they seemed completely okay and acted totally normal the whole time. After their second

day staying with us, they checked out, and what did housekeeping find again? All caps, more blood everywhere. It was truly scary and a little concerning, not to mention costly from a business standpoint. As far as we know, nothing illegal happened in that room, but maybe something vampiric was happening? A friend of mine who works at another hotel about an hour from me corroborated my story, saying when this actress came to, when this actress came to stay at their hotel, the same thing happened. So what do you think? Is she a vampire? Love you all. Thanks for keeping me entertained. If you ever want to come visit my place of business to come stay in the vampire room in question, let me know. Thank you so much, Glove.

do and I am going to hit you up and the thing is okay let's say she's not a vampire right what is yeah what is that well that's the thing it's the same with the fish fucking right there is no there is no alternate theory like blood play right I'm sure that's the thing sure but usually like as someone that is familiar with people that work with blood play in the kink world it's you don't leave it everywhere like it's still like it's still right it's like a right it's like a like a Rituistic part of it. Especially like at a hotel. Yeah.

This is such a celebrity thing. They don't clean up after themselves. See John Pousack, right? Yes. Pousack. That's kind of part of it probably is the freedom is like the fact that you can kind of do this and get away with it because you're like. I think that might be part of the bonerring happening and the wetting, wetting happening to the vagina. Yes.

And we're not talking about chili dogs. Listen, you two. When a vagina gets wet, it is ready for intercourse, right? And the man becomes engorged. Oh, so I'm so glad. I was like hoping. I was like, I was holding going to give us the sex talk today.

Because if I don't have a sex talk, I'm going to know what to do later. But because I'm not married yet. So I'll find out soon. Soon enough. Yeah, finally you can have sex in your marriage bed for the first time ever with Jeff. I'm very excited for that.

Just a couple more months. So close. I bet you guys are so rearing to go. We have so much. more work to do. You know when you go to a wedding if you're planning your own wedding and then you're like, oh shit, we haven't done this.

Oh no, we haven't done this. Oh God, we need to figure this out. And so it was also like, it was a great weekend but then it was all of the things I haven't done yet. You'll get there. So much of it though, too, happens like right, right near the end. So it's also like not, that's normal.

You know what I mean? I'm not going to have. Art attack. No. Well, yeah, at least I'll tell you this. At least next stop besides like your, birthday and Winnie's birthday and Hero's birthday. Besides all that, next stop is, we're giving you a cake smash a long night.

So I can't wait for that. We're actually, we're giving Jackie cakes smash. Line up all three babies, Jackie. Winnie and you're going to get a little cake. I cannot wait. Yeah, we're going to do Jackie gets a cake smash. But now it's finally like the next stop's your wedding. I'm the bride now.

And I did the second the wedding was over. I looked at Jeff and I said, I'm the bride now. It's not the bride anymore. I'm the bride. And that also means that it's going to be soon to be over. Yes. And you can think about other things soon. And so that has to feel good, right?

Like Nashville's done. Eddie and Jolie's done. So yeah, you're next and then it'll be done. And then, man, it's over. But guess what? You really don't think about it that much. Every now and again, you know, especially when you go to a wedding, you're like, well, I remember our wedding. But, you know, it becomes a distant memory for the best.

I remember talking to someone when I was planning my wedding who had just gotten married and she was like, I'm so happy to be not planning a wedding. Right. And that will be, that will be, that will be me. I felt the exact same way. And I had one of the best days I've ever had.

Me too. My wedding was one of the best days of my life. Maybe the best day of my life. But the second best day of my life was the day after when I knew I never had to plan a wedding again. Hopefully. Hopefully. Well, I mean, even if I did, God forbid,

not go what, if I did have to have another wedding, it will be way less of a thing. It'll be, there'll be like a dog and a cat. there and as witnesses. Yeah, to be like, do you witness this? You know what I mean?

It'll be like that and we'll be done. What animal was that? Oh, the screeching crane? That was the bird who was also there, but not yet made in the program. All right. Do you guys believe? I believe.

I believe. I believe. All right. There you go. Gotta believe. But take your beliefs and put them on the shelf because it's time for the list. Yeah.

Oh. Who? on the list. Me! Got to have that list. Behind the scenes feuds that almost ruined movies and shows. Now we've got a few on here

that we know already. Sure. We're aware of the fact that David DeCoviny and Jillian Anderson kind of fell out with each other while shooting. Oh, do you not know that, Holden?

Because they're so cute together now, but I guess they squash the beef. Yes, because I imagine, too, if you're spending that much time around a person on a hit television show. And one of them's a sex addict. And going through a lot. I imagine that things would get bumpy for a while, but this I did not know that on the set of Jaws, Robert Shaw was against Richard Dreyfus. Robert Shaw, an alcoholic,

said he'd give anything to give up drinking. So Dreyfus threw Shaw's drink out the window, and then it was on. Shaw ended up bullying Dreyfus so much that Spielberg had to intervene. I, it makes me, because you know I'm sexually attracted to Richard Dreyfus, it makes me love him even more because I want to protect him. I think that's a fun move too. And you know what? I love these stories because I'm like, yeah, that probably sucked, but it worked really well for the dynamic.

It certainly did. Of the characters. And there's some things that it does help on the screen. Now, I know that it probably didn't do anything because this, I don't think I did know that R2D2 and C3PO hated each other. That's funny. Kenny Baker and Anthony Day. Daniels that Baker, who plays R2T2, has called C3POs Daniels,

Daniels boring, infuriating, and rude. And while Daniels has discussed the feud, much less, his side of the story kind of confirms Baker's. So I guess he's a bit of a rude one. This one I would love to hear more about on the set of hook, 26% in Rotten Tomatoes, that Julia Roberts and Steven Spielberg did not get along. Spielberg, in fact, even said that she was a great actress, but he would never work with her again. I feel like I heard a rumbling of this.

She's had issues. Huh? With some people. I mean, she also had issues with Nick Nolte as well, which is the next one on the list. I love trouble. But this one, I mean, is Julia Roberts wrong in this? After shooting the rom-com, Roberts called Nolte nice but disgusting. And Nolte replied that she wasn't even nice.

They reportedly hate each other so much. Children. That sounds like two five-year-olds describing each other. That is so true. Only have my kids talk to each other. He's nice, but he's disgusting. Yeah, well, you're not even nice. She's not even nice.

You're just like mean and disgusting. They were barely hated each other so much that the romantic scenes involved doubles so that they're not actually together in most of the. romantic scenes that they had together. I love that. So maybe it is Julie Roberts. I don't know. I mean, it's probably Nicknulty, too. Both of the men in this, not to not assume that Julie Roberts is probably not a bitch, because she probably is. But also, both Steven Stilberg and Nick Nolte probably got big egos on

him. Big egos, big old egos on them. And I mean, like egos on moose, the dog, which I do know the name of the dog that played the dog in Frasier. And my dog skim. Yes, and my dog skip. And Kelsey Grammer is not a fan of Moose, the dog. Kelsey Grammer says, we're not saying that grammar was jealous of Eddie's popularity. Eddie being the dog's name in Frazier. But he did repeatedly go out of his way, even in his own biography, to make clear that dogs can't act.

And it does kind of made me think of you, Holden, Of, like, you be like, oh, you love the dog? Oh, you love the dog? You know, a dog can't act. Can't do what I do. Well, I went off on the, oh, I shouldn't even say it on the podcast. Like, it's a really good people about. I had, I have emotions and feelings about celebrating you being a dog dad on Father's Day.

But that's fine. You don't have to get into it here. He's upset about it. It's not as difficult as being a real parent. Yeah, that's, that's understatement a little bit. Yeah, but what if, what if, you know, sometimes they get woken up in the middle of the night. Yeah, but I have. to wake up at nine every morning to take them to go shit for 15 minutes. It's just as hard.

I will say, Holden, you used to complain about having to Twitch stream at 9 a.m. when we did the Thanksgiving Day parade. You know, it's all a matter of perspective. And then at that point, you'd be like, dog dads are dads. I get it. I understand it. I know. By the way, I don't really care that much. And it's absolutely fine to celebrate it. It's just I have to fill time, don't I, during streams and podcasts. So I have to find opinions. sometimes. And so if I catch an opinion in the wild, it's like, great. Now I have 15 minutes, you know, to agitate of agitating certain people. Remember our cinnamon conversation? Yes. I don't really give a fuck about it. But what are we going to do? Are we just going to be like,

how was your day? Cool. Is you going to have to be like a conversation with my mom? How was your day? Good. Okay. That would be the podcast. So when you're sitting there getting mad at me for talking about T-Swift too much, just remember, it could be like that. And then where would you be? Well, then you would be just like Vin Diesel or Dwayne the Rock Dronson. I knew it was coming.

That was the one I knew of, for sure, that was going to be on this list. They don't like each other. They don't like each other, bro. It's like the two Spider-Man's pointing at each other, you know? It really is. I have read a lot into this feud because as someone is, I'm speaking of apologists,

I am a Fast and Furious Apologist. I love Fast and Furious. I love It too. I don't even think you have to apologize. this movie's rule. Yeah, that's fine. But Vin Diesel, apparently, he runs the roost over at Fast and Furious, and he makes it very clear that he runs the roost.

And Dwayne the Rock Johnson didn't necessarily enjoy that, but also didn't agree with how Vin Diesel was running the roost and thought it should be done differently. So now they're at a point where that's why they even have the whole spin-off of Hobbs and Shaw, because the rock will not work. with Vin Diesel ever again. So it also sounded like Vin Diesel kind of wanted to like do this like hazing thing.

And he's very me, he's kind of me. Yeah, he wanted and it was part, it was under the guys of like their dynamic as characters. Right. But at the end of the day, I think he just wanted to do this kind of chest pumping old like antiquated hazing ritual

like macho whatever right? Like old school action star bullshit. And I think The Rock was like, we're making a mood. What are we doing? We're like, this is all stupid. Like, why would you, what? Why are we doing this?

Why do you have to do this? Like, why can't we just work? He thinks that Vin Diesel's very unprofessional. He thinks that like, like, the antics that he's bringing, like, none of this is helping. And he's like, I'm building a family. I'm building a community. And it's like, well, maybe don't do it like that. Right, right.

But who knows? Maybe I don't know. Maybe The Rock showed his ass to. He's just so hard to chip away at the facade. What are his demons? They have to be insane. He drinks like snake blood or something. That's not me that bad though.

He drinks like sex worker blood or something. He does something. He does something. I mean, he's some, I hope nothing ever bad comes out about him. Yeah, I want to be for the rat. I know. Oh my God.

Jim Carrey Tommy Lee Jones is the classic fucking two people hating each other on set. And it's so funny because what is the Riddler. This is another one of those instances of how people go about with like how they joke around, how they act, how they bring themselves. Like, Jim Carrey is. is Jim Carrey, and he's always Jim Carrey. So if you're going to do Batman forever and he's the riddler, he's going to be all over the place.

I love this quote from Tommy Jiz. I cannot sanction your buffoonery. That's such a Tommy Lee Jailet. I can hear that at his price. He said, I hate you, I really don't like you. I cannot sanction your buffoonery. That is so funny. And they could barely work together.

And I had had no idea. that Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams hated each other so much on the notebook. But they got put into a room to scream at each other and get all their hatred out which helped the beginning, you know, if you've seen the notebook before. But then they ended up fucking in real life.

That must have been so hot. Therefore, that quote unquote hatred stuff must have been so steamy. So hot. Like it's sort of like, ooh. Push her up against walls. They're just like kissing on each other. Yeah, yeah.

Fuck you, you fucking off. I just switch to eat your fucking. Biggin' vagina out, dude. And last but not least, I'm going to say the, I'm going to do the American History X one, Edward Norton and Tony K, the director of American History X. After Kay, the director turned in his cut of the film, the studio demanded another with Norton's involvement. Kay hated the Norton cut, publicly disowned the film, and punched a wall.

Whoa. Because of how much he hated the cut that Ed Norton had a norton had. That's so interesting. I would love to hear what the differences were. Yeah. Well, Lisa does also say about, like, you would want to feel good about how it was made, you know? Yeah. And I do, and I saw it in the theater, like, blew my mind, like, in high school. Yeah, I love that movie in high school. It does say that today he admits he got carried

away by his ego. I will also say I kind of heard. Ed Norton or the other one? Tony K. Oh, Tony K. But I will also say I have also kind of heard rumblings that Norton's a bit of a Julia Roberts as well, like kind of a bit challenging to deal with. and yeah. Yes, we have, but that's our list for us today. We'll still kiss him.

I loved this list. This is a great list. Oh, I'd still kiss him. Oh, give me the opportunity. All right. Well, I think I am dealing with some kind of crippling disposition. I think I'm going. Blind.

It's items. Oh, we can't see them. All right, here we go. We got some fun ones today. This A-list host slash producer over multiple formats has hired a bot farm to help remove one of his co-stars from their position. He wants them gone and to bring his own replacement. Who's like the fate, the hosty guy. Who's like Mr. Hosty host? Oh, Ryan Sechrest. Yeah, what shows are he on? Is he a producer?

Masked. Yeah, he was a producer on a ton of stuff. I mean, he's like a host and, you know. One of them voice talent shows. America's got talent. No, it happens, I think, in the morning. Oh, Ryan, with Kelly Rip-up. Yeah, see, uh... Like, Ryan and... Ryan and... Ryan Richman.

I think I said Kellan, like our friend. Kellan Malone. Yeah, yeah. Our friend Callan. Uh, no, yeah, it's live with Kelly and Ryan. I really helped you guys too much, by the way, so I'm going to help you less. No, you love all your help. And I will say that this might hold some water, be...

I definitely, like, looking into the article was linked to, it said, so recently so-called fans laid into RIPA on Seacrest's Insta in the comment section. He just posted some video of them from the show, like, completely normal. Oh, I did hear about this. And they were saying stuff like, she's out made him. Yeah, they're saying stuff like, you need to tell Kelly to stop interrupting you. That's very rude. She does it throughout the show.

Every show. Very annoying. The show's ratings go up because of you. She is a boring host. And then also another fan said, very annoying. The show's ratings go up because of you, which that's a weird phrase.

And like, to see multiple people say it, say it totally screams bot farm. Totally screed. Like, who goes, the show's ratings go up because of you? Like, no one says that. Who says that?

Maybe one person, but like that multiple people would say that exact same phrase. And very annoying. Very annoying. The show's ratings go up because of you. That was repeated by, like, different people. Like, no one repeats that.

And also, I'm sorry, but we love Kelly. Rippa here at this show. Sure. Yeah. Anyone that's in love with Mark Gonzalez is a friend of mine. That's what I'll say. I'm talking about someone who definitely drinks sex worker blood.

Ryan Seacrest. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know. He's made some sort of deal with some sort of deity of sorts that I don't know if I agree with. Oh, he has seen like Dubai or what I mean or something like that. He's been in a penthouse or some kind of... Because I really don't understand it. Like, I couldn't pick him out of lineup. And I stare at celebrity gossip sites.

every single day. And he's just such a human being. That's why he's like the perfect host though. Like that's a, right? Like that's what you want kind of. Like someone who's literally looks like John Doe. Yes. Like who just looks like man.

The opening character and the character creator for a video game. Totally. All right. Here we go. This will probably be easy as hell. Actually, I don't even need to fucking help you at all on this one. The three named rapper who is definitely headed for rehab, if not a grave. was trying to make what he did last night go viral

and was talking about getting others to share their videos. What? Machine Gun Kelly? Yes. What did he do? Machine Gun Kelly recently played a gig at Madison Square Garden and had an after party at Catch Steakhouse. Which we didn't even talk about this.

I feel... So during the after party performance, he smashes a champagne glass over his head and was then seen leaving the party with a bloody face. And the next morning, he shared the vid on Insta, probably next afternoon, with the caption, this is where things turned. Yeah.

Grow up, dude. Aren't you like R.H? Yeah, he's 32. Yeah. I think that this is all, it all has to do with promotion for his thing that just came out over on Hulu.

That's like all like the pink whatever or the doc that he's put it like. I do want to watch the doc. The movie seems like hot trash just based off of a glance. It's just like a stoner. Stoner movies are so hard to pull off, man. And there's a couple of good.

ones, how high, dazing infused, and, you know, the classic half-baked. But almost every other one is terrible. And I just think stoner comedy is very hard to pull off. I wouldn't attempt it personally. No, I think it just, I mean, also the fact that, you know, Megan Fox asked machine young Kelly if he was breastfed as a baby. That's the other big story that's going on with the two with them. Who cares?

Who cares? Who, because it's about the deep psychological roots. That's what she wants to know about Holden because she gets deep. Kootikente? What's going on? What are you talking about? He gets deep, really fast. You need to know that about her.

Oh, yeah, I did. Guys, I was rooting for you. And now I'm not rooting for you anymore, Megan Kelly. You smashed a glass against his head. Megan Foxx. Michelle, I mean, yeah. Megan Kelly. Is Megan Kelly someone as well?

She's a Fox News, conservative. That would be a fun. Megan FAA, Fox, wow. It's connected. Fox News, Megan Kelly. Ooh. They love machine guns on Fox News. They support them wholeheartedly.

Conspiracy, conspiracy. Mass destruction. All right. Last one. Interesting thing to have the media at least think you are engaged, at least think you are engaged. The same week your actor X announced he is going to have a baby. Okay, so this person's like perfect and like everything to do is magic and wonderful.

and everyone's stupid if they don't like them. Yes. And who would Taylor's would be engaged to? Joe Alwyn. And who's the ex? One of the famous exes. Jane Gilles. Neither of them, that many people say she was like a beard for,

or at least that they were in a fake relationship. Harry Stiles? No. He gets loco. An Acapulco? He's a loco. He's a loco. down and knock a boco.

You know what song? That's Loco. Can I talk about Margaritaville Crocs over here, Jackie Martin? Ricky Martin? No. Did Taylor Swift date Ricky Martin? No, he's in a lot of, he's an actor.

He's an actor, full on actor. Full on actor. Yeah. It's not Jake Gyllenha. He's British. No. He's not. He's British.

How many people did she date? Jesus Christ. Loco was a reference to Marvel movies. Oh, is he Loki? Is he Tom Hiddleston? Yes. Wow. Loco was a you?

That was a misdirect. He's a misdirect. He gets loco. He's British. What? He gets loco. I love you, Taylor. So it was announced recently that Hidlson and his fiance are expecting a baby.

And the son is reporting that Tay and Joe Al-Way are in fact in guy. Oh my God. How do you feel about her? Are you upset? No, I love it. I always say I don't have sex with her. I want to be her. Okay. Or like be, I don't know. I just, in her essence. You know what I mean? I drink her fucking blood. Yeah, I cut that up. I wouldn't do that, Taylor. I'm not a weird stalker. My whole, in my head, I'm like, how do I convince her I'm not a crazy stalker person. Ooh, yeah, for $500 when you buy the boob sweat. No, I buy her. No, no. Because the, the, I'd buy a vial of her sweat, but the boob part sexualizes it. I'm just like, I'm not... It's not sexual. It's like... God, gotcha, gotcha.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, guys, come on. Can we fucking keep it? All y'all want to talk about is vagina hairs and eating out and all this kind of stuff. Yeah, it's all we're talking about. It's all us.

It's always us. It's always us. But anyways, yeah, apparently an insider is claiming they've been engaged for months. They've only told their inner circle, she only wears the engagement ring in private for the time being. It's like very, very interrupts. That's sad. That just makes me so

sad that she can enjoy it. But they've been very I think like the reason why this relationship works so well is because for the first time it's not incredibly public for her. Right. Right, right, right. So I just think that they're just following the script on that. Like, it's just like it never works when like we make

it really, we're really outward about it. So like, let's just keep this so under wraps. And then, and then one Once that genie is put back in the bottle, I think it'd be kind of hard to, like, get to the point where we're like, all right, fine, we'll tell everybody

and we're engaged. All right, fine, we'll tell everybody I'm pregnant or whatever the fuck it is. You know what I mean? It's kind of hard. I think it's working for them. So, like, why change that? You know what I mean?

And how dare you criticize her? I just feel bad as someone that is engaged, that I'm constantly just like, look at my ring. Yeah, whatever. Well, it sounds like a judgment and you're dead to me right now. No.

But my eyes are alive. I'm sorry, you're fine. I'm not gonna talk bad about you. It's all the cinnamon. My nose is all like, ouch, oh, I eat so many chili dogs. My poor stomachs don't really the same. Dying from that trip.

Diet starts today. I've got to reel it in. But anyways, I can see. And we're at the end of the episode. That's great. That's awesome. We did it. We did a great job.

Congratulations to you, MJ. Congratulations to you as well. Thank you. Congratulations to you, the listener, for getting this far. And I appreciate you for all of our glizzy talk. Now we all know that glizzy is, you know, came after a Glock because it looks like an extended handle of something with the Glock. So it's a glizzy.

And we learn things here and don't ever forget it. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Yeah, it sounds like a threat. Does that a threat to you? I don't ever forget it. My name is Jackie Zabroski. You can follow me on Instagram, but Jack that worm. You can follow us on page.

7 LPN over on the TikToks. Come hang out over on Twitch.combe over on Twitch.combe, oh no, it's Jackie. I hang out on Sundays. I hang out on Tuesdays with Dr. Jordan, and we totally talk about sex things, and it's amazing. And on Wednesdays, I play the Sims of our lives.

Come join me for it. Hell yeah. Check me out. Twitch.tv. forward slash hold to natures ho. On Monday, Tuesday, Friday, we're streaming. Jackie and I do a stream on Fridays at 6 p.m. EST called Jackin with the Holdies. So check us out.

Twitch.TV forward slash Holdenaders Ho. And check us out. Keep sending those emails. The celebrity conspiracies, especially if you work at hospitality and production, and you give us these incredible insider stories, page 7, podcast.com. That is the numeral 7, not the word, seven, whatever. Okay? I should have made it the other way around, but whatever.

And Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Weekly bonus episodes, $5 a month. For $10 a month, you can join us for our Thursday. Jersey Shore watch-alongs were in season three. We just saw the infamous Where's the Beach episode, which was incredible. And yeah, take us out on that. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. My name is MJ.

A little mini shout out here to the Instagram follower, Alex, who helped me by looking at the rest up in Milford, Connecticut on the I-95 Southbound highway where my child's love. might have been left. Unfortunately, they did not find it, but thank you, Alex. And if you want to see my other desperate pleadings for anybody who might have found a little rag that looks like a piece of trash that my child is in love with, that we lost somewhere between Milford, Connecticut and New York City. My Instagram handle is MJK. Elkat on Insta.

Once again, thank you, Alex. You are amazing and so kind and so generous to go look around this red stop for it. So thank you. So nice. Maybe you can help solve a mystery. If you found the rag. Our own unsolved mystery. Let me know.

Yeah, just called Bob. Bob, maybe it'll come. Maybe it'll just the rag will just thrum the wind. We'll just find you. And how great would that be? How scary would that be, though, if it became animated like that. And thank you. And it's time for the shout-out song.

Shout. Shout. Shout. Shout. Let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're gonna read it up to you.

Come on. And it's my favorite time of the show. It's the shoutouts. I know I always sing an entrance into the shoutouts after we sing the shout out song. But you know, I'm just a singing, sloppy little bitch. That's all. and I love our community.

And this singy, sloppy little bitch has got some love to send to Madison. Because Madison sent in a self-shout, and even though you thought that a self-shout could be annoying and you were worried about it, I'm so glad that you took the chance and sent in your self-shoutout out. I love you so much, Madison. Madison says, I'm shouting myself out because I recently won a battle against my ever-present anxiety. and my more recently present agoraphobia. I've struggled with leaving my house, much less my city, for most of 2022. So when I heard that last podcast was having a jamboree in Nashville,

which is eight hours away from me, I thought, that sounds nice. I hope everyone has fun. But when I saw page seven was on the roster, I knew I needed to reconsider. You guys have been the happy voices in my ears through my long work days and commutes, and I talk about all three of you to my friends

as if I know you guys, makes me so happy. So I found a moment where my anxiety was low and bought a ticket to the jamboree before I can talk myself out of it. My bestie Ross, shout out to them too. We love you, Ross. Accompanied me on the trip and waited at the hotel while I went to the jamboree. Parking and walking in a brand new city was almost more than my anxiety could bear, but I just kept remembering that I was about to be in the same room as Jackie Holden and MJ and I kept on going, oh, I love it, Madison. Needless to say, you all made the trip 110 percent. worth it. I smiled so hard that my face hurt and laughed and screamed so loudly that the guy next to me

slid away for me as much as possible. Every act was great, but I'd have gone for page seven alone. Thank you. Thank you for all making the trip worth for me. I feel a little braver now and I'll always hold that night as one of my best ever. If you ever take the act on the road, be sure to swing by Kansas City and give me a visit. Oh, I certainly will, Madison. And thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so proud of you and thank you so much for sending in the shout out. And even that and overcoming the anxiety of that. And so much love goes out to you. Now I'm going to send more love out to Michelle. Michelle also said it and said, I love myself, shout out. I want to shout myself out because I had a baby almost two years ago

and I've been struggling emotionally since. My wife told me that I needed help. Well, I've finally listened to her. I've been on meds for six weeks. And guess what? I'm feeling better. So shout out to me for getting help and my wife for urging me to get help. I want people to know having a baby is hard. Loving them is easy. Getting help is very hard. But if you feel bad after having a baby, get help. There's no shame. Oh, thank you so much, Michelle, for saying that. And you know what? Lots of people need to hear it. And I really appreciate you paying it forward and for taking care of yourself. only for you, but for your family too. Much love to you guys. And oh my God, I had no idea. I love a circle back shout out. Please let me know how things are going. And thank you so much, Christine,

for letting me know. Christine says when I last sent y'all an email, I had just quit my very toxic job, had started taking some online tech classes, and was generally losing my fucking mind with not having a job. I was only out of work for like a month and a half, but I'm not built to be a stay at home mom. My kids were so fucking done with me and my bullshit. I made steak or salmon every night for three weeks because I wanted to perfect cooking with wine slash figuring out a brown sugar glaze. Anyway, the point being I did find a new job pretty easily. A month of my time off from work was just waiting for my start date. Congrats! I've been here since March and I was just promoted. Since I'm moving up, I had my best friend who's still stuck at our old toxic job apply, and now she gets to come work with me again.

Ah, congratulations. Like, I would never tell people to quit without a safety net, but if you're not happy where you are, start looking for something new. You can completely change fields like I have and discover you're just as amazing as you've been trying to sell yourself as. Also, new hires get all the money. Christine says, I love you all so much and you've been on this journey with me in spirit since I spend a good chunk of my week listening to all the LPN network

and chit-chatting on the fraudsters discord. This entire community is the fucking best, and you're the fucking best, Christine. Thank you so much for encouraging people to make difficult choices. And I appreciate you also saying, understand not everybody can just quit their job,

but start looking at other avenues if you're really unhappy. We're not supposed to be unhappy. And that's something that I think that we forget sometimes. Anyway, uh-oh, we've got a self-shout birthday. Shout out from Emma. I really, truly enjoyed this email, Emma. Emma says, hold on to your dicks, I'll be 36.

My mommy used to say, it's not your birthday until you were born. So everyone ignore me until 1149 a.m. on July 7th. In honor of our pop culture love, I'll be presenting. my birthday shout-out in an us weekly 25 things you don't know about me, narcissistic fashion. Am I just want to say, I love this concept, I read all of it, and I truly enjoyed it, and I chose some of my favorites to read out to you guys. Number one, this I love that you explain your Twitch name, which is pencil nubs, I'm weird about my writing utensils.

Nothing is better than a good pen, nor worse than a bad pen. I'll never use a shitty pencil. Also, Emma, I did look up how to say this. Ticonderoga, or I'm writing with my blood. Hence, my Twitch name of pencil nubs, which is how thoroughly I use my ticonderoga pencils, and also just a solid, small dick joke, according to the odd lines, that is how you say it.

And now I want to check out these pencils. Emma also says, number two, being a part of a group doesn't come naturally. So fitting in with your page 7 community and feeling accepted is really beautiful and comforting. I found y'all when I needed you most last summer, and my life would be lacking without these internet pals. I love your perfectly flawed humans so much.

We're all so fucking okay. Love that, Emma. Number 17, when I was little, I thought my mom was Cher. When I learned she wasn't, I decided I would like to be Cher. Number 18, I'm not share at all, God damn it. But we love you anymore. Emma, there's only one share. There's only space for one share.

Number 24, if I could get drunk with any horror movie character, it'd be pinhead. I could see that. Ah, we have such sights to show you as you're just like tanking tequila shots down. I think it would be a blast, and I agree with you, Emma. Number 25. I'm terrified about the world my nearly teenage children are growing up in. I have no idea how to navigate the hateful chaos myself, let alone guide them confidently. I just keep loving them and trying to make them informed, compassionate people.

It's all I can do. I mean, since I'm not share, fuck it. If we're not laughing, we're crying. Damn straight, Emma, and we need people like you to create more and give more information and create more compassionate people. And I really appreciate you doing that. Yes, I know that's why you're a parent because Jackie appreciates it. Oh, Jackie. But I just want to say thank you. I know that parenting is very, very difficult, and I can't imagine being a parent right now, and all of my love goes out to you and to the other parents trying to make better

individuals for the upcoming generation. And I thank you for it. But also, Emma does give birthday shoutouts to Ringo Star, Mary Ford, and Gustav Mahler. Clearly, July 7th is for those who wish to stand out behind. everyone. Also, didn't the Black Plague hit England on July 7th? 1666? Anyway, magical day for magical things to happen. Happy birthday, Emma. I mean, not that I'm saying it before 1149 a.m. on July 7th, but just know, I'll be thinking about you at 1149 a.m. on July 7th. And last but not least, I need to, because I have to be able to respond with words.

So this was not too mean at all. I appreciate it completely because I didn't know how to say the name Clamato. Now, we said Clamato on the show, but I think that's because I was scared of it, and that's the way that MJ Haldon were saying it. I always said Clamato because I thought it was clam and tomato juice, so I always had said Clamato, but Jamie Lett us. know, Jamie wrote in, maybe it's the Canadian in me, and I'm sure you guys love getting this

kind of emails, but what the hell kind of pronunciation was that for clamato? I'm going to continue saying clamato, though, Jamie, I'm sorry. On the east coast of Canada, we pronounce it clam, like clams in the sea, motto or matto, clam matto, because the juice actually has clam juice in it. I don't know why I put the emphasis on juice in that, but I did. Hope I didn't come across as too feisty. I absolutely love page 7, all of you there. No, not at all. Please, let me know. But then I looked it up, and I guess that is like I found a Canadian commercial where it's clamato. But I say, commando, because it's a tomato and a clam. And I'm sticking with it, dams it. And yes, I just unnecessarily pluralized, damn it. I don't dams it. Multiple dams I will

put upon sit clamato. Love you guys so much. Thank you so much for the soundouts. And thank you so much for sending in just amazing overall messages. I appreciate you. I appreciate the Riverdale theories. I appreciate the Riverdale screams and rants. You know I will read them, and I am right there with you. Have the best week, guys, and hug somebody. Tell everybody you love them.

Remind everyone that things are going to get better. Love you guys. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.