Page 7 - Ep. 462: Jesus is the Man Who Takes Her Life

Episode Date: August 19, 2022

This week we're gossin' 'bout the upcoming Karaoke Night in LA, Jackie watching Dear Zachary for her 35th birthday as well as MJ and Holden's own filmic experiences, the masterpiece that is Bluey, Holden heading down the High School Musical: The Musical: The Series hole, Mariah Carey and her battle to legally be the Queen of Christmas, Cardi B's onion water hair care routine, Tommy Lee's oopsie moment of hanging dong on Instagram, Snoop's new cereal and Holden reading dad jokes on Yahoo News articles, and in celeb conspiracy corner; Is Command Dancing a tool of white supremacy originally popularized by Henry Ford! The List, Blinds, and ZHOUTS!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Gotta start dusting off the karaoke songs for our karaoke live hangout next week. 35 years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope. Oh, for a destination. I realized quickly when I knew I should that the world was made up of this brotherhood of man. for whatever that means It's done upon a Bida, be da, pa, bop, and so I cry sang in bed

Just to get it all that What's in my I'm gonna keep going And so I wait up outside And I take a deep breath I say Hey, hey Into it enough

Neither one of you is into it enough We are having karaoke next week Well not with MJ But with everybody else I'm excited for karaoke next week But I have trauma from that song I know you hate that as a karaoke song at the show when we were trying

to do the show. It's a great karaoke song. And then it was the whole thing. And I said it begins with 25 years of my life is still, but I said 35 years of my life is still because I just turned 35. And I am still trying to get up

that great big hill of hope. Holden. Run it up that hill. No, don't you want you. Both of you. You're both in whatever jail. Whatever jail, whatever jail. Hold on I really jump into saying

run it up that hill if that comes up. This isn't my fault. I want everyone to know if that just got stuck in your head again. It's not my fault. I didn't do it. I want to make a little Jackie appreciation where I feel like in terms of there. I don't know anyone else who can sing completely Acapella and yet still convey how a song escalates like the crescendos and like how you can hear the drums coming in even when they don't come in. And it made it because you are acting the drums out.

with your arms while you sing, and you do sing the sounds of the drums and the instruments coming in. But I just feel like every time you sing at the top of the show, if you go on long enough to when the drops come, you can really experience it. Right, which often happens. Often happens. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We just let her go. It makes me think of when, like, you know, I forgot what show, what play we were doing, but in Murder Fist, every time we would, like, make fake gun noises or fake, like pretend like we had a gun in our hand, would go like, phew, p, or like, pshu, but I was doing a real play, and every time I would, I had this rifle, and every time I picked it up, I was like, phew, p, p, and they're like, stop making the sounds with your mouth, and I was like, p-o-y-y-up, and like, that's not even the sound of rifle makes.

Yeah, bia-b, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Yeah, I don't believe that is. Um, yeah, I'm like that guy from, um, car 54, where are you? Everybody says it. I'm just so lifelike with my sounds. But I appreciate that, MJ. It's because because I am scared of singing acapella. So I feel like I have to fill it in. So I'm not thinking about it being acapella or else I would be too scared to sing at the top of the show.

Yeah. Well, regardless, karaoke is upon us a week from today. As the time of this recording, a week from today, less than a week when you're hearing this, this Wednesday. What is it, the 24th, I believe. It is the 24th. Man, I'm so excited for you guys. In North Hollywood, we got to pack it out so we can start doing it irregularly. So please consider packing your bags and making the trek.

Get one of those sticks with a bag. A bindle. A bag. Yeah, get a bindle. Put a tithe a bag to a stick and just start walking. Yeah, start walking. A bindle a bagel. Never have to wattle or something like that.

I think they say something like that. They always say that. I want page 7 karaoke in L.A. to become so successful that you have. have to take it on the road to New York. Right. Take it on the road. This is honestly it is how you start our dream. This is our dream. It's a prototype. This is a big dream for us to do this.

So thank you guys and I hope you guys can come out. Yeah. And I want to do themes and my first theme I want us to do in the future is just songs that make you cry. I want to do sad, sad, sad karaoke. And it's just and everyone get up there just fucking bawling and see, you know what I love this idea because I will say and I was excited.

to tell you MJ that on my birthday, Jeff said, well, we can watch whatever you want to watch. And he made a jape while we were out at dinner. He's like, I mean, we can even watch Deer Zachary if you want. No, you're not telling me. You watched Deer Zachary on your birthday. On her birthday. I watched Dear Zachary on my 35th birthday.

Jeff has never seen it. Oh, my God. You've watched Deer Zachary for the first time on your 35th. So cruel. Not only, and it was also with our friends Adam and Sam who have both seen it multiple times. Oh, my God. We had the tissues out. And Jeff's like, all right, oh boy, here we go.

And I will say afterwards, our friend was like, Jeff, you didn't know. This is like a litmus test to make sure that you're not a robot. Meanwhile, we all know Jeff is not a robot. Right. But I tell you what, he's like, I figured there was a twist. He's like, obviously, the way you talk about this movie. And I'm not going to, God, I really want to say the quote from the movie that made me,

I was crying so hard that I had to laugh because there's this one line and I'm not going to say it right now. But I think everyone knows the line I'm talking about because I don't want to ruin what happens in Dear Zachary because it's a hoot. And it is it, I, it's like you forget the intricities of it. The little, the tiny, many tiny little

deaths that happen all throughout. It's like, it's like, you know, at two, uh, dear Zachary, it's, it's constant little stabbing. Yeah. That happen. And that's, they like add up. You don't even realize it until like some of the bigger things happen later, but but your feet, you're like,

you just realize as some of the bigger things happen later, that you've actually been crumbling under the weight of all the little murders that have been happening, the little fuckers that have just been over and over again, like how bad these people get fucked over just at a, just constant and just it all adds up and then you just feel, and it stays, by the way,

so that's why I just want to let people know, like you don't have to watch this movie. Don't watch it. I get the Jackie's an influencer and everything and she's going to, influence you to watch it, but you shouldn't be influenced. You should not be under the influence right now. Do not watch your Zachary under the influence. No, yeah.

Jackie or any drug. Like there's nothing you can do to make it better. Here's the thing about your Zachary also. For some reason, Jackie is obsessed with it and has been talking about it for about a decade. Her and Marcus would always talk about it on the show. And I was always like, I don't know what movie they're even talking about. This is obviously some weird cult thing that I'm not going to find that I don't need to be into. And then I looked it up.

Yeah, one of those kooky B movies. Yeah, right. I was like, I don't need to know whatever. And then I looked it up and I realized I had seen it because one like lonely night in my, in the year that I spent just like lonelyly watching Netflix documentaries by myself late at night, I had seen it. And I was so horrified by it that I never spoke to anyone about it. I didn't know the title of the movie.

I didn't tell anyone I watched it. I was like, I'm just going to pretend that never happened. It was like a traumatic event where I was like, what if I never bring it up again? Meanwhile, you two, Marcus and Jagged had been talking about it weekly for years. I mean, I, so I thought the trailer for it is outstanding, by the way. Like the trailer is outstanding. It's very well made. And the doc is amazing.

The trailer, there should be trail. I'm sure there are trailer awards, but they should be more well known and televised. And that should have won a trailer award for how good it is. It like makes you definitely want to watch it. I was at Cina's place, actually, fraudsters, check them out over there on the LPN, and his ex. And I was like, we were talking about watching the movie. I was like, guys, check out this trailer. This movie looks amazing.

We got in that thing. And so we watched the trailer. It was like, oh, fuck yeah, dude, let's do it. And we threw it on. I remember calling them the next day, being like, are you still, is it still just like living with you? Do you still feel like you're in like a fog of this movie? It's like, yeah, man, we can't get over it.

Like, we just can't move on. We had the weirdest dreams Because also this was after we had gone to a Brazilian steakhouse So we is one of those yes more meat or no more meat places Yeah that's what I thought your big plan for your birthday was Was to go eat a bunch of meat Yeah Eat a bunch of meat then come home and watch the most devastating documentary ever made

Yeah instead of eating cake Because we were too full to eat cake So we cried And eat the air cake I had a similar traumatic filmic experience yesterday because for some dumb Wism the Bruiser thing, I ended up watching my first minions film.

Ah, I'm sorry. Rise of Gru, the newest minion film. Not even the first minion film? No, that's despicable me, which is a weird name. And, you know, I just have to say... Well, you are despicable, hold it. I am a despicable me.

I am going to struggle a lot. I don't like kid comedy shit. It's, okay, and I just realized this last night, for me, that's my... That's my kids singing for Jackie. Uh-huh. Yeah. It grates so hard to like, so random.

These little minions are just like, ah! Like, and they're just doing all these little things. It's like hard for me to put my finger on, but it's just that little kid cute humor, but they kind of talk trash. Like, they're kind of like, ah, bah, you're a fart. Fuck you. Blah, blah, blah. And it's just like, and then all the boomer shit in it, it's just like I see where

the Facebook meetings come on because then there's all these weird references to like, boomer era things, they skip completely over like two generations. Yeah, like who is a parent now, which is not boomers. No, I think it's actually for grandparents to take their kids to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. To take their grandkids to, you know, when the parents are working, right? Yeah.

So it is like I am going to struggle a lot. MJ, I don't know what your deal is with, you know, that, but I have a totally right. I've always thought that this was my hater problem, though, because I felt this way about that... Well, don't get me wrong. I mean, apparently, I guess, from doing this show,

I am apparently quite the hater. I felt this way about Disney sidekicks, even as a kid. Like, perhaps my least popular hater stance is that as a kid, I fucking hated Timone and Pumba. I was like, fuck these guys. I don't think I'll stand by that. You're an OG hater.

I tell you what, I felt that way about Tommy. Jerry. I love Tom and Jerry. They don't even talk. They're not annoying. They just crush each other like an accordion. It was more just because I was like it's the same thing every time.

I just didn't like the repetition. I loved all the side characters. I love the bad and Anastasia. I love what's his name? Pico, the raccoon. Yeah. The little monkey and Aladdin. Yes.

The girl. Yeah. Right. Sure. So I feel like the minions are just like the, the end point of all of the Disney sidekick. Miko. But you're totally right.

I don't like that shit either. And like right now... They're spazzy and like they're... I just get how kids think it's fucking hilarious. And I hate... It is the people sitting around talking about funny commercials, the movie. Of yes. Right?

Waza! It's just... It's... It's... It's absolutely that. Or, they actually did it at one point. The caveman TV show. Remember when that shit happened?

Oh, yeah. Very, very short-lived. from, what was it, Geico or whatever? I think it was. Yeah. They made a whole ass TV show out of a fucking commercial, bad commercial bit. It was just called Caveman. Yep.

Only three episodes. But yeah, good. I'm glad you're with me. So how do you cope with that emotionally? Because we are comedians. I mean, I just, it hurts my soul a little bit. It was like, dear Zachary, it stuck with me. I still feel like I'm lost.

in a haze of like minion antics. Now I will say that I am obviously not a parent, but I was a nanny for a long time. And one of the kids that I, like, I would assume that it is like what you put in front of them, especially when they are younger, because like one of the kids I used to nanny for was obsessed with Spirited Away.

We watched Spirited Away like seven times a day, but it was a great movie. So I didn't mind. I was like, okay, yeah, let's put on Spirited Away. You're four, but you're obsessed with this kind of, kind of creepy movie and I'm down with that I can watch it all day

but her parents influenced that but I'm sure it's different once they get into school and they're around things that they want to be what is it bluey yeah I was gonna say

in terms of comedy I was just about to ask about blue I was just about ask about blueie because I'm seeing a lot of bluey talk out there oh my fucking God let me tell no no listen

you know how we Guys, I promise we're talking about, like, Christine Aguilera's calves in just a second. All right. We're going to talk about Bluie for two seconds. Bluey is pop culture. I'm sorry, if you're a parent of a, you know, two-year-old plus right now,

Bluey is pop culture. So here's the thing about Bluey. Like, you know how when, like, you know how when, like, I have Asash and Fierce came out and you felt like. We need to talk about Bluey. We need to tell us. Oh, don't you even say the name of the movie that they are in.

Yeah. That's a, that's not a good. That's, that's, that there's something ominous going on with Bully, which there's not. The way that being young when Biont was really hitting her stride, I felt like I am blessed to be young. In the time of Biaz.

Listen, let me finish the analogy. The B.I right now is furious. Let me finish. To be young. Oh, I'm going to let you finish it, okay. But I just got to say that Bui has the best TV show of all time. To be apparent in the time. of Bluey is to be feels to me as amazing as it felt to be young in the time of Beyonce.

Oh my God. It is such an incredible children's show. You, it is the, I have literally named my child after Mr. Rogers. And I think that the Simpsons is my favorite show on Earth, which isn't a kid's show, but it's a cartoon. Whatever. Right. In terms of a children's show, I do not think that there is a better show. ever than Bluey.

And maybe you could say, I mean, I will say Sesame Street. Yeah, like this is the thing. Like, would. You should watch it. Sesame Street is obviously breathtaking. All Muppets. I'm just going to wait. Like, at this point I'm going to wait, obviously.

Because, like, why would I watch this show? Yeah, because you'll be watching it a lot, like, in like six months. But like, or like, yeah, maybe 12. Well, however long you hold that. Jackie, it is. And hold it. It is so good. The about, I have cried at 50 to 75% of blue.

of Bluey episodes. But not in like a schmaltzy. Like it is, oh my God, Holden, I cannot wait. It's like when you, it's like when somebody hasn't watched Succession and you're like, I can't wait for you to watch Succession. Also compare Bluey and Succession and Beyonce's rise to fame. It is a masterpiece. Unbelievable.

Bluey is a masterpiece. I love it. I am not going to apologize. It is a masterpiece. MJ, and this is a good segue to talk about us. on vacay, but I may have watched the first episode of High School Musical the musical the series yesterday.

Yes, he's going down this dark hole. He's like, I'm doing this for us. He said, I'm doing this for us. I was like, you're doing this for you. You are not doing this for me. This is my favorite of Jay. This is my wedding gift to Jackie, by the way. So that's what it is.

Wow. Thank you all day. And my bridesman's gift as well. Thank you. Pretty much any gift I would have given you in the next two years, this is the gift. This is the gift. I also did a full rundown of the love triangle

between Olivia Rodriguez, Sabrina Carpenter, and whatever his whatever head is. I don't even know his name because he's whatever. He did this over on Talking TV over on the Patreon, so if you would like to hear him, try to explain it to me as my eyes go cross-eyed. Please check out Talking TV over on the page 7 Patreon. But also the reason why Holden is watching High School

The Musical, the musical, the series, is because he also, and I will say this, You also encourage, I'm not going to say forced, us to watch high school musical. And we recorded us watching it. So we are going to release it over our two-week vacation. We've got a rewind episode coming out for you. We also have us watching High School Musical that you can watch it along with us. Or also, we talked through a lot of it.

So you can also just listen to it. I feel like we did a really particularly good job this time of like you really could probably throw that episode on in the and you don't need to sync it up with the movie. But you can also, we make sure you can also sync up with the film. But I had a great time. I had a great time. Also, don't worry, you don't need to watch the movie because very little happens in the movie. Very little.

So you're not missing anything. There's not actually a musical in the movie, which is very interesting. We're all mad. We're all mad. I will say I had Katie Frame from Reformed Hors on my stream yesterday and I mentioned it. And she did say the third one is in fact the best one. So I guess we'll have to watch all three. We'll get back to you, everybody.

We'll get back to you. The teaser for this content, which you will get in the next week and two weeks, is that at the beginning of the stream, I said, I refuse to watch number two and three. And then by the end of the stream, I said, okay, I will watch two and three, but I refuse to watch one again. So that's like the line that I will draw. Yeah, that was the weird thing. It was like, I'd never want to see this film again, but for some weird reason, I want to see the other two. both sequels and the entire television franchise.

The third one is apparently the strongest outing. I've heard the second one is a lot of fun too. See, this is our problem. Now we're going to have me. I heard the first one was fun and I don't agree. I mean, I did have fun. I guess it's technically fun if I had fun while I watched it. I like all this hateer talk though because I've got a new hatred that I didn't even know that I had.

Yeah. I opened up a pant. You opened up Santa's box on this. Oh, and I just wanted to say, trigger warning for anyone, we were about to talk about Christmas, just for a little bit. And I understand.

No, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to be singing Christmas shoes. We are talking about. But I will. I want to buy these shoes. No, no, you're sacrilegious. No. I can't.

Luckily, I don't know any of the rest of it. I'd have to look up the lyrics to keep going. It's Christmas Eve, and these shoes are just her size holding. She's dying in the hospital. No, that's not the time. Yeah, Jesus is the man that takes her life. Something like that, right?

He certainly is. I am talking about Mariah Carey's move to trademark the phrase queen of Christmas for herself. And, okay, there are two people that are up in arms about it. One is Darlene Love. Darlene Love sings, Christmas, the snow's coming down. I mean, probably the best Christmas song of all time. Yeah, that's a good one. I understand Darling Love.

Maybe please come home. Yeah, that's so good. I understand Darling Love. Except, Darlene Love is not taking Mariah Carey to court about this. But I won Elizabeth Chan is. Have you guys ever heard of Elizabeth Chan before? No, I have not.

This was a new thing. And I was, yeah, it was totally followed up with, you know, I definitely listen to some music and watch some videos. And I was just like, yeah. This is Minions, the Christmas songstress. She only sings Christmas pop music. I have, you know what, as much as I talk a lot of game about Christmas, you all know I love Christmas music.

And I listen to a lot of Christmas music. I even enjoy listening to the radio station that plays the Christmas music so that I can find out more Christmas music. I know that I may have heard one of these songs, I guess, before. I listen to Elizabeth Chan's entire. Christmas collection yesterday as I was working on things and it just kept being like, this is bullshit.

You're not the queen of Christmas? Look up Elizabeth Chan! I hate her music! I hate it. Here's the thing. I agree with you that her music is Boros Niro. However, she has a couple of fire emoji quotes about this, about Mariah Carrie trying to trademark the phrase queen of

Christmas. And if I may, she said, quote, Christmas has come way before any of us on earth and hopefully we'll be around way after any of us on earth. And I feel very strongly that no one person should hold on to anything around Christmas or monopolized it in the way that Mariah seeks to in perpetuity. That's just not the right thing to do. Christmas is for everyone. It's meant to be shared. It's not meant to be owned. It's the queen of Christmas. Say it, Elizabeth Chan. What? Are your snaps to that?

You get snaps to that? Christmas is not meant to be owned, Jackie. It is not the queen of Christmas. He is the reason for the season. I did like, and he will take your life. I did like. He's going to your mother in the hospital room tonight and you're going to have to get shoes for some reason. For some weird reason, shoes are involved. We don't really know why. You should probably be at the hospital. Honestly, enjoying your last moments with this person. It's because their shoes are so dirty-torn that Jesus is going to shame her when she crosses the threshold.

Yeah, cat in nines. He pulls out the cat of nines. We all know this. If you don't have shoes when you die, you get the cat of nines. But I did love what Darley Love said. Is it true the bari-carry, trademarked queen of Christmas? What does that mean that I can't use that? titled David Letterman officially declare me

Queen of Christmas 29 years ago, a year before she released, all I went for Christmas is you. And at 81 years of age, I am not changing anything. I've been in the business for 52 years, have earned it, and can still hit those notes. Yeah, subtle dig at Mariah.

I can still hit those notes, bitch. I love that shit. We're snapping for Darling Love. I get it. Throw the grenades, Darling Love. That, fine with it. Elizabeth Chan. I have another quote She said

It's not just about the music business She's trying to trademark this in every imaginable way Clothing liquor products Masks, dog collars It's all over the math She's an entrepreneur If you knit a queen of Christmas sweater You should be able to sell it on Etsy to someone else

So they can buy it for their grandma It's crazy She's right About all Christmas is Is is buying gifts It's completely corporate Yes this spirit of Christmas lives, other than it's all.

But you can't have queens of Christmas unless you're going to have an oligarchy of Christmas. And if you want to have an oligarchy of Christmas, have that. But there's only one queen. You think there's only one queen of Christmas. And you think, if I call you queen of Christmas, you think Maria Carey should be able to sue me.

I think you should be put into shackles. She also wants QOC, princess of Christmas, and Christmas princess. I think it's just, I just feel like to be, it's such an over-the-tenth. top bitchy thing to do that makes me love it so much.

It's the same thing. It kind of brings me back to God, I don't want to bring up Beyonce in a bad way again, but you know, the whole blue Ivy. I didn't figure it up in a bad way. That was praise what I said about Beyonce. You compared her rise to fame to the TV show. Everybody loves Bluey though. Everybody loves Bluey. And it says that they're both masterpieces

Holden. But yeah, but you know, it's like that Blue Ivy thing. Again, it's just so you just can't you just can't claim everything as your own. That's crazy. You've got to let, you know, it's okay

for other people. Don't worry. No one's going to be like, I'm the real. There's not going to be like a battle for the true queen of Christmas. I wish there would be. Yeah, it's not going to be Elizabeth Chan, unfortunately. Actually, yeah, dude, do a TV show, make it a competition. Who's the true Queen of Christmas? They get crowned. They get the

trademark. Mariah Carey hosts it. There you go. She has to compete. She's trying to be the Queen of Christmas. Christmas. I think that she can give out a crown. Rip Van Winkle will host it. Is he still alive or did he die? I think he's asleep.

I'm asleep. I, are you talking about Rip Torn? Yeah, Rip Torn. I made a joke about him being asleep because he said Rip Van Winkle. You get me? Yeah, yeah.

Well, both. Also, I want everyone to know that Mariah Carey did say, but to me, Mary is the queen of Christmas. Yes, that's my favorite quote. Mother Mary is the real queen of Christmas, but she's like, trademarking it. that she can bestow it to Mother Mary.

I love how she's like, oh yeah, no, no, no. It's really it's Jesus's mother, the, you know, the fucking patron saint or whatever, who is the actual Queen of Christmas. But while I'm at it, no one is allowed to call anyone else the Queen of Christmas or Christmas princess. That's going to take like several Hallmark movies out of the running,

you know, they're just going to be sued out of existence. I'm just mad because it sounds like, it's like I know I'm sure that I'm not against Elizabeth. Chan as a person. I'm just against the Borough snorrel music. Yeah, her music is terrible. It doesn't even sound Christmassy. It's fine. It's fine. It's just very poppy. It is fair. It is the most

Starbucks shit I've ever heard in my life. It is so... Trying to be this like underdog of like... In the Christmas music space, I've had top 10 singles for the last eight years. That's nothing to sniff at. And that's hard for someone like me who's always up against the major labels. I've put so much into my

dream in my career and trying to make something out of like nothing. I have none of resources. I have all of the heart. And I think that's what's helped me. I don't know why I can't stand her. I can't. I'm just like that. I know that you're the underdog. And technically I should be championing Elizabeth Chan. But I listen to the music because that's why I listen to all of it. I was like, I'm going to listen to a bunch of it because I want to make sure that I'm not. It's just boring. It's extremely boring. Is it all originals you should do any covers or is it all new Christmas songs? It's all new Christmas songs. That's a tough sell. You don't, no one wants an album of all

new Christmas material. It's just very, it's just very, it's What am I gonna get? What am I gonna get? What am I gonna get for Christmas this year? It's one of her top songs. It's YouTube bed music. How am I gonna get this Christmas cheer?

It's not even like, yeah, it's just fucking doltrums. Hey, listen that song way too many times yesterday. I was so mad about it. It is really bad. And the idea of being a year-round Christmas artist is fucking insane. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to go to bad for this woman. I just think it's hilarious that she's, she's,

She's going after the spirit of Christmas for Mariah Carey. I like any time an argument about money devolves into an argument about the spirit of Christmas. I think that's what I really like about it. Because every Christmas story has to be about the spirit of Christmas. And Elizabeth Chan, for whatever it's worth, is trying to defend the spirit of Christmas from the Scrooge-like money hoarding of Mariah Carey. It's a bit of a Christmas story. It's totally the premise of like.

many Christmas stories. Like, you can't trademark Christmas? Yeah. That's such a plot of a... So it's just kind of funny that Mariah Carey would put herself in that position. It's like you... This is like your main thing and you're going to put it into jeopardy by like over just having ownership over everything and you're like, I don't know.

Especially no one's contesting that she's the queen of Christmas, right? Except for Elizabeth Chan. Nobody's ever heard of. So like there's not a single other pop star who's even remotely in Mariah Carey's league that's like, Oh, I'm the queen of Christmas. Like every other person starts like you take it. Except her darling love. Sure.

Right. But that's fine. You know, and it's like the old guard and the new guard in a little bit of ways. Whoa. What's going on? Why did you, why did you agape your mouth? I forgot that I wanted to, that she does a, I meant to send you the jingle bells parody that she does over the Taylor Swift Shake It Off song.

Interesting. How you're going to use other. Oh, but you're fine to do that. It's like, and the bells are going to ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. and they're having. I'm watching the video of it right now. How did she even get away with that? I guess it's a parody so you can get away with it maybe.

But yeah, that is awful. I just, I don't, I should be a champion. I know I should be a champion of her. Watching, I'm watching it silently right now. And I just, I, I'm furious. No, no, you don't have to be. Why would you, oh, because of what she's saying about that. She's right in this instance, but she's wholly wrong.

Yeah, I think we can admit that she is technically right. but that she still shouldn't exist. None of her albums should exist. And the bells are going to bang, ring, ring. Oh. Yeah, no, it's awful. It's terrible. No one wants that much original Christmas music.

Everyone wants the Christmas music they already know, and then maybe one new poppy. Or like Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. That album, that Christmas album is one of my favorite Christmas albums. Sharon Jones knew exactly how to make new bangers as well as make old bangers sound fucking amazing. And Elizabeth Chan, you're bringing me, you're bringing me water down beer.

That's what you're giving me right now. Yeah, it's just a really, just, yeah, just placid. It's a flaccid Christmas outing, I would describe. If I was a pitchfork reviewer describing her, I would give it a 4.2, and I'd call it if Elizabeth Chan's newest outing is flaccid in concert. Yes, it definitely is. and thank you guys for understanding,

and I'm sorry that I went a little mad with it in the articles that I sent you guys, but yesterday I was having a bit, it was going into madness. If I wanted to give myself the sensation of having whiskey dick without drinking any whiskey, I would throw on Elizabeth Chan's newest

outing about Christmas. Just lumbering and flaccid. Lumbering and flaccid. Yeah. I do think that Mariah Carey should at least let her have her, the Queen of Christmas. I know this is all over, like, the one album called The Queen of Christmas that she's got, I'm assuming, that she's getting so pissed off about. But, you know, Mariah Carey, she can't let these things go by her.

She's a div. She's a Christmas dave. You can't let her, let Elizabeth Chan come in here with her jingle bells, Taylor Swift parody. I think I still have an Apple TV subscription that I've never used. used since Christmas 2021 when you guys made me watch maybe it was 2020 when you guys made me watch the Mariah Carey Christmas. I was in

I think it's 20. I was in L.A. I think at that point. Now you have to watch severance. 2020. It was 2020. I was in pandemic in New York for sure when we watched that. And everything was good in that sense because it was just like not being stuck at home.

It was just seeing the outside world. You know, seeing people in the same room. You're like, Snoop Dog and Mariah Carey they're touching. That must be nice. Yeah, that wasn't good. That was a good Christmas special. I think that was the year we watched the Grinch though, too, with Matthew, whatever his name is from... Oh, God. Yeah, we talked to... Did we just get hammered

and talk over it on Twitch? Yeah, that was... Ficked. At best. Anyway, did you guys know that Cardi B. watches her hair with onion water? What? What? That's the part I'm kidding. How does it not smell? Yeah, that seems pretty suss.

It's like, oh, it has all these nutrients for onions. Okay, I'm with you. And it doesn't even smell. Wrong. So apparently, Cardi B uses, she boils onions in water and then uses the water to wash her hair. And she said that she used to do it all the time for every hair washing, but then stopped. And now she does it. And she's like, my hair is beautiful.

And it's odorless. and I notice that it's been giving a shine to my hair, but would you try it? Yeah, sure. It's natural. It's, you know, I mean, it sounds easy to do as well. Yeah. Yeah, I have no problem with that.

Yeah. I guess I just don't know how it doesn't smell like onions. I just don't get that part, but whatever. Onions do smell good, though. Yes, for sure. I mean, cooking onions smell good. I don't know if like raw onion water would smell good. Well, you're boiling.

Yeah, I don't know. I guess you're boiling it all out. Me and lots of weeks. things happened this week. I mean, also Tommy Lee put out his oopsie photos of his... Don't worry. We were all at dinner with Ben Kisle and he pulled his phone out and just in the middle of this we were at Canter's Deli. Zumes in on Tommy Lee, uh, giant hog from this because he of course screencapped it. Don't worry. He's got it on his phone if you need to see it. I'm glad because I

know, you gotta see it. And he's just waving this huge, oh yeah, he's waving this huge dick around the, you know, we're all like, All right, we get it there. He's got a big one. He's packing heat. All right. Well, didn't we already know everything about Tommy Lee's dick because of... Sure.

Yeah. Because of the... Yeah. Which, I mean, that was a revelation for me when I was younger. Yeah. For sure. Oh, yeah. And I mean, I will say, even just the angle of the picture, it was a great picture.

Yeah, it was a great picture. But there's no way that he posted it not knowing that he could... He literally wrote, oops. You can't write oops. Of course he knew about it. I think the crazier thing is that, like, I've already been aware of Instagram's weirdness with their policies. It took them four hours to take this picture down.

I have seen a lot of talk about people on there who have only fan sites that, like, can't say they have only fan sites on there. Right. Because even just saying they have naked pictures on a different website gets them taken down. And yet Tommy Lee was allowed to be on there for four hours, suffered no repercussions. No. I mean, that is kind of the more insane part to me. So it's not even just like posting.

content, but like all the, you know, sex work in relation to Instagram is like just such a weird thing. And then for this to happen, I totally get why people are pissed off. Yeah, of course. It's also really funny, but also I get why other people are pissed off. On TikTok, you can't even write the word sex or say the word penis, even though these are just words that are a part of our body. Yeah, or Weiner, you can't say cum cannon, you can't say pissful,

We say it here because we can't say it there. And it drives me crazy that people have to say like S-E-G-G-S to say sex. Is that why everyone keeps saying sex like that? Yes, because they can't write sex or else they'll take it down. I was wondering about that. I said the word horny in one of my TikToks and it got taken down. Interesting. I mean, I guess.

Yeah, that's, it's for kids. It is for kids. But, like, kids have heard the word sex before. Also, you know, like, aren't you going to wait until your children are at least old enough to understand the word sex? I get not saying things like, come, canon. I understand not showing like an actual penis entering a vagina. Like, I get that. Yeah.

But the word sex is not a bad word. The word penis is not a bad word. Right. The word horny is not a bad word. It's very like tipper gore 80s, you know, the, you know, the, you know, the penis is not a bad word. the amazing congressional hearing where D. Snyder had to be like the only sane person in the room and be like, it is like,

the experience of music, if you're bringing all this like fucked up thoughts to it, like that's on you, Tipper Gore, that's not on me. Like, you know, the idea that if you just say, if you just don't say the word sex on TikTok that it is universally safe for kids, it's much more complicated than that.

Yeah, and there's many ways to traumatize a child by the things that you say and you do without saying the word sex. And also, if my kid finds out the word, like, what does horny mean? I'm like, okay, well, let me explain this. Or if they don't know the word sex, then maybe they shouldn't be on TikTok.

Yeah, and horny, of course, is when a man views any type of pornography and he gets a disease where he gets all covered in horns. Yeah, yeah. Is what you tell your child. You cut off all the horns, including a horn inside of your pants. Yeah, we have ways around this, so yeah. No.

You can't say, dog lick. You can't say cat scratch fever. You can't say a lot of things on there. It's unbelievable. I bet they would take down cat scratch fever. I'm like, oh, I don't know what happens. Oh, are you talking about pussies?

Like, yeah, I'm talking about pussies. Thank you. But I'm also talking about Snoop Dog's new breakfast called Snoop Loops, where they always come to get the Snoop loops. Guy is just a marketing machine, man. It is ridiculous. Get that money. A breakfast cereal. Snoop loops?

It's good. I feel like the dog on the cover of it is not very representative of Snoop Doggy Dog a little bit. Like it's like this really happy, sweet kind of almost bluey style, you know, situation. Well, you think they're going after the Bluey market. I think they are going after the Bluey market. I think they're trying to be king of Bluey and I don't like it. Oh, Elizabeth Chan, get on this. Listen, Bluey is a production of public television in Australia. They have franchised the hell out of it, and you can get a lot of official Bluey items,

but I just want it to be shown. It is public television in Australia. I'm going to watch the hell out of Bluey now, but it's also on Disney, isn't it? Is that where you watch it? It's on Disney Plus now. By the way, my new favorite thing to do with these articles that you send me are to scroll down and look at the hacky dad job. that are always posted at the bottom.

So there's always one. Joe says, if you look on the side of the packaging, see ingredients. It shows 100,000 kilograms CBD oil. That's not even a joke, Joe. That's not a joke. And also, CBD doesn't get you high like that, Joe. Also, unfortunately, the Snoop loop. There is no weed in the Snoop loops.

As Jackie correctly pointed out, they should be, like, edibles, but it's just cereal. I know. I'm sad that it's not weed cereal. It should be weed cereal. There should be weed cereal. Maybe there is. But if anybody's going to make it, you get soup. Checking up on Daddy writes,

part of this snoop-tricious breakfast plus a one-gram prize in every box. You know, at least that's better than the other one. I just also, who takes the time to write something like Kellogg's can't be thrilled about this? It's not just the name and likeness. It's the way they use the cereal to spell the word loop, which is identical.

Plenty of all the knockoff serials out there, though. David. What are you, Mr. Kellogg? Yeah, what is, what, what, what made you think anyone was interested in your opinion about this particular brand of cereal? Plenty of other knockoff serials out there. Yeah, that's true. They're all dads. They're all people who actually genuinely think Minions movies are like the funniest things out there.

And they do think Elizabeth Chan is the queen of Christmas. David the mouth says, Purple Cush, Sour Diesel, Blue Dream, Lemon Royale, it's Strawberry, it's Strawberry, cake. They're magically delicious. I get it. You get it? They had to write it. The cereal. Do you fucking get it? You should be right for Conan right. You should write for Fallon these days. You fucking...

Uh-oh. David the mouth of five. Damn, David wrote I hope there's a special dime bag prize inside each box. It's like five comments later. He walked away. He was like, I'm going to go do something else. I'm going to watch some weird channel on my television because that's what they do, right? They watch some weird

hunting show or something. And they're like, wait a second. I got another one. I got another gym. Let me bring that article back up. Five likes. Five likes in that comment. I can't believe that people take the time to write comments on articles. I can't imagine it.

It is crazy. But that's the whole thing. Or I forgot how someone described it recently, but also like placid, like audience engagement. Hey, everybody. What's your favorite? dog type. You know what I mean? And then everybody, it's like just trying to farm, it's engagement farming, right?

And it's really obvious. They're trying to just like get people to interact with them, even about the most mundane fucking boros, noros, just so that they can literally, I don't even know why they do it. I think some marketing person told them that that helps something somehow. Sorry. You know what I'm talking about? Of course, started looking through the comment section of the Tommy Lee article as well. this is kind of hilarious when you consider Yahoo praises women for wearing thong bikies

and see through dresses with only a thong on but a man does it and it's a problem Are you really taking a pro? A pro male Who would not? I'm sure Yahoo would be like this woman showed her pussyhole that's insane. Carl, I don't agree.

The idea that Yahoo has like an editorial voice like that they like love women getting naked, Yahoo is just like the most. generic plain celebrity news aggregator where it's just like here's a celebrity news here's a celebrity news here's a celebrity news like there's not like a oh everyone knows yahoo loves sexy women like it's just a search it but a man shows his penis and then you're all up and up the article isn't even that mean towards tommy lee it's just like man Tommy Lee posted his cock online like that's it that's what the article also oh yeah and and this was the other article you skip the

first comment, which is, again, the dad joke at the top. There's always a dad joke. Freig says, was up for about four hours, speaking of the talking of the post being up for four hours. I always heard that if it stays up that long, you need to go see a doctor. Yeah. Yeah.

Aphreig. Take it down. Frege. A hundred and seventy likes. Two dislikes. I would love to see the two dislike people. I'm going to dislike it. I hate this joke. I have to sign in. I have to sign it. I can't do that. Well, that's the other thing. You have to sign in to leave

comments. So these are people who really have a whole presence. Who haven't, and I did remember making a Yahoo Mail avatar. I still have a Yahoo account. And, but I was like, why am I even doing this? Like, well, this is the point of this. But yeah, people are actively engaged on, like, that's their Twitter and Facebook. Wow.

So funny. I'm glad that we're giving them a platform, though. Yeah. They just got to get it out there. These dad jokes, man, they got to go somewhere. And they did not go into my ears. They need to go into comments on Yahoo. news stories.

Listen, you're a 60-year-old man, you're alone at home. Fox News has been on for the last seven days straight and you see a picture of Tommy Lee's big hog and you're like, I've got to say something.

I want to suck the shit out of that thing but I can't write that because I'm deeply closeted. I feel really good when I look at this picture. What should I do? God damn, would I love to get railed by that thing, but that's not something

the aunt can witness, so we've got to write something else. All right. Oh, God. Are you guys? I'm ready for it. Because the bells are gonna ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, okay.

And the conspiracies are gonna, celeb, celebs, celebrity. Brilliant parody. Yeah, hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Is command dancing, a tool of white supremacy originally popularized by Henry Ford. Whoa.

Oh, my God. I thought you were about to say Henry Zabrowski. I was definitely not Henry Zabrowski. You know, Henry Ford is responsible for so many atrocities in this country. So many things. I'm ready to say yes already. This comes in from Liz who says, breaking news, Holden's unbridled

joy while shitting on fun may be founded for the first time ever. Oh, no. This, and whoever wrote this in, they know how to get to me. They're like, are we going to talk about capitalism? You want to take something you love and ruin it? Talk, bringing capitalism. It will always work. It'll always work.

Is command dancing a tool of white supremacy or is popularized by Henry Ford. So that, yes, you read that right, as we chat. chest slide and chicken dance our way into wedding season. Let us not forget that the command song might be the modern equivalent of a far more sinister dance trend, square dancing. I remember this. Yes, Henry Ford introduced square dancing into American physical education, right?

So that give us a little refresher, yeah. We all know that Henry Ford, as the anti-Semitic racist, we blame for why we all work too much and have back problems by 25. Some might even know that he was responsible for popularizing. square dancing and establishing it as an American traditional dance. What is less well known is that his reasoning for that was rooted in anti-Semitism. Henry Ford hated jazz, considered it a symbol of modern degeneracy and a, quote, means for Jews to poison society.

Yikes. Good Lord. In response to this perceived, I just love hating jazz, too, because it's the most innocent, innocuous form of music ever. It's jazz. Yeah, and you get to be like both racist and anti-Semitic at the same time. Yes. It's great.

It's a catcherall. And pianos and trintern. These talented musicians are the work of the devil. Because they won't, they won't, you can't set your watch to it. You know what I mean? You can't protect it. In response to this perceived culture war, he devoted himself to bringing back Anglo-Saxon traditional dance by creating square dance programs and forcing his

employees to attend events, originally taught by instructors and memorized by those privileged enough to learn from them. Soon the instructions were called out. to the dancers, much like prancing circus elephants twirling for peanuts. This tradition of dance by command, by the way. Who's on this in? Liz, this is a list.

Liz, thank you. This is great. Frank Liz Stein probably on socials. That's how they sign up. Frank Liz Stein. A part of our Twitch community. This tradition of dance by command was meant to train society to be comfortable with the stripping of our personal freedoms

to keep us sexually repressed and above all to make American traditions Lily White again. So let's cut to the present. The next time you see Grandma doing the mockerane after too many jizzies from the open bar, I want you to ask yourself, is she not just upholding this lineage of compulsory

white supremacy? Has she not been socialized to perform this mindless routine unconsciously like the synapses firing in your brainstem when fight or flight is triggered? There is no need to think, not even to enjoy. I love that phrase. There is no need to think, not even to enjoy. She only needs to perform the task. When she flails wildly to another call of two hops this time, does the hair on your next stand up?

Imagining what other instruction she might jump to off a bridge, perhaps, or to a call to arms? Henry Ford wanted us docile and biddable. And here we are slide, baby sliding right into fascism with smiles on our faces. Can you hear the people sing? seeing the songs of angry command dance victims. This is so, this is very hard for me because I love command dances and I hate white supremacy. I know, I do too. I really does not like white supremacy. And is a friend to the Jew as well. I dare say though, so is this then referring to the fact that because I've created square dancing that he is responsible for the cha-cha slide?

I mean, I can't believe it needs to be clarified, but 100% absolutely, yes. That's the suggestion. You know, if I can go, I mean, I do think that, like, he is the grandfather of doing that, yes. Right. But I don't know if we can. It's not, but the cha, but cha-cha real slow. I want to say, burn it out. I feel like, I can't believe it.

I believe it. Well, here's a little bit more. All jokes aside, as with virtually every form of, quote, American tradition, black and indigenous people did help shape while we now recognize the square dancing. That's what I was going to say. Ironically, call and response type dances were present in these and other cultures long before the evil little toad, Henry Ford, started doce-doing. In fact, we could also spin this conspiracy on its head and ask to modern command songs, reclaim the cultural joy of unified communal dance, and act as a tool against white supremacy, should hold them be. whatever jail? Wow. Franklin Stein.

Love you forever. I believe in Franklinstein 100%. I don't even, I believe, yeah, I just, I'll just follow you. You tell me to jump off a bridge, Franklin Stein, I will jump off that bridge. Wow. You tell me to divorce my wife, I will divorce my wife. You just tell me whatever you want, Franklin Stein. Wow.

Okay, so I have a, I don't. Please tell me to divorce my wife is what I'm saying. No. I know this is not a, um, We cannot go deep into the history of command dancing right now because I know we have a list to get to. Yeah. Oh, I want to. A counteroffer to this is the history of the electric slide.

And so I'm reading from a Guardian article right now about the black roots of the electric side. So this article says the dance, the electric slide dance has a long pedigree with black roots and widespread branches. The step sequence was first devised by Broadway dancer Rickson. silver in 176 to an upbeat reggae song, the electric boogie. It became a hit in Jamaica. And so it, uh, it then in the 90s was when it became incorporated with American line dancing. And so there's like this, there's like an oral history and a slightly written history of like the electric slide as like something that is important and, uh, like black, like has roots in black music and in black culture. And so.

So I don't know where, you know. The white supremacy ends and the multicultural, you know, stuff begins. And we're all, I'm way ahead of my skis here because I don't really know the electric slide is a dance or the history here that I'm referencing. But I, it's a, it is, I mean, the Henry Ford Square Dancing thing is fascinating. But just like Liz said, there is like with any, you know, there's, there's, you can't really take any art form without, usually, without seeing. all the influences of black culture specifically

and like the way that other cultures have shaped it so I this is this I want to read more send me or ask it in your pipe and smoke it down that's all I'm asking our listeners to inform yourself educate yourself next time before you go to a wedding and hop around like a little bunny you are going to cha cha-cha slide in my wedding I'm gonna find you you will

I will be raging against the machine okay because some of those who hopped to the left are the same that you have cultural events. They hile to the right. It leads to. Yeah, yeah. When I hear that man say at Jackie's wedding, when I hear that voice come on and say,

it's time to get funky. My job is to run and find Holden. And to hold his hand and bring him to the dance floor. So mean. Get him on the dance floor. That's so mean. I'll do it one time around, but the problem is, honestly,

I'm game for one go. And then when we're on our seventh, eighth, night, you're like, and when will the song end? When will it end? That's the question I ask the people singing the songs of angry men, Jackie. Oh, yeah, don't you lay Ms. at me? Don't you hear of Miss against Jackie. She's gross. Five, six.

Oh, wow. Yeah, Jackie, how many play Miss songs are going to be on your wedding play list? Oh, probably none. No. Maybe a little fall of rain, though, because then I, can just sing it to myself, but no one will dance. And I can pretend, I can act out both the parts. And maybe that'll be my wedding performance.

Everyone has, you had a wedding performance, MJ. Yeah. Yeah, you guys, you and Henry, just leave Jeff out of it. You and Henry should just do a little redux of lay miss at the wedding. It's a show almost exclusively about sadness and heartbreak. And music the ones you were. And war. Yes, but also there's some love in there.

You should sing on my own. Revenge. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll dress just, I'll dress up. Maybe I won't. I think that that would be, I think it would be rough. But Jeff, I know that you're listening. Do you agree?

Would you like me to do this? Would you like Jackie to sing on my own? But instead of having it be about how no one loves her, she's only on her own in terms of her love for command dances. Yes, so it's all about that. So it's nothing to do with Jeff. Yeah. It really is just about me and the command dances.

And I would be so fine to have like an all command dance reception every single song is a commandant. I think Jeff would be the faster divorce than Kim Kardashian. You know, it would be so, so fast. But before that happens, before Jeff divorces me before we even get married, it's time for the list.

Oh. Who's on the list? Jackie! That list. 18 bizarre celebrity endorsements of products. Now, I know that we've done similar lists like this before, but there's someone here that I did not know that Snoop Dog, speaking of,

parried himself for hot pockets. In 2012, Snoop recorded a parody of his hit, Drop It Like It's Hot, called Pocket Like It's Hot, to advertise the microwaveable councilor's page. He's a machine. He's a machine.

It's crazy. He's out there still trying to get his NFT over, and it's like, I've never seen someone so, it just made me realize, like, how aggressive he is. Like, if he wants to get something over, he will fucking go so hard in the pain. It is insane.

Think about it. Everyone knows who Snoop Dog is. Like, my mom knows who Snoop Dog is. Every single person knows who Snoop Dog is. That's how. It's that hustle. Yeah. He's stayed relevant. And he's hip-hop Willie Nelson.

He's like... Oh, yeah. You know, in the sense he's just like known for smoking mad weed and like still everybody's like, yeah, you're the guy. Even the most like, I feel like conservative of whatever people are like, yeah, dude, I'd want to get high with Snoop Dog. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Totally. It's crazy. I would do anything. But would you do anything? to buy John Sina's crocs. He opened up about being bullied as a kid to sell crocs. He discussed the time he got bullied and the importance of being yourself for the come as you are campaign for Crocs.

How do you feel about it, MJ, as the also other influencer of Crocs even though you don't want to be? Well, how I feel about it is I still haven't been able to get my hands on the Margaritaville cracks. I was going to get another set of influencer cracks, but they're sold out. So I guess I'm going to get the John Cena was. That's the problem with all these products. Like even that Velveeta cheese martini set that didn't even come with the actual infused

cheese vodka was completely sold out when I went to go just inquire about its availability. And I'm just like how it's the, yeah, it's like, of course it's the same thing with like microtransactions in mobile gaming and the gaming space. It's like they'll stop doing it when we stop buying it. But you guys have to stop buying it, guys. And then they'll start putting out real games again. But you got to stop purchasing, like, new rupees, you know, in-store credit for $10,000. It's hard to get it and give it up, dog. It's hard.

These crocs are like barely crocs. I'm just throwing it out there. Whoa. They look like van crocs. It's weird. Like vans the shoes. It's weird. That's what, you know, you need a bridge to get you into crocs.

You need like a lesser crock to get the gateway drug to Crocs. It's the gateway drug to Crocs. drug. That's how you get in there. Am I going to end up buying crox? Am I going to give, if you like, no one has sent them to you already. I believe there's, I bet there, I bet when you just try it once, you're like, I'll never go, because I bet they're so comfortable.

Because why would people, why would people wear such foolish-looking things if they weren't the most comfortable, amazing? And I'll tell you what, you know what? Especially the guys out there, please, I way prefer Crocs over your gross bro flip-flops on the subway train. Really? flip-flops so much. Wow, that was just a crock endorsement. I hold it.

Oh, do I like crox over gross dude feet on the subway? Yeah, I think a lot of people would agree with that. That is a big one. Yeah, you should record that crox and play that. You can also be an influencer. Gideon has now worn his crocs to court several times. So he's really pioneering. Talk about it.

Oh, wow. He's really breaking new ground. That's amazing. I was watching, I feel like after this pandemic, I especially don't understand. I was watching some show yesterday, and I just look to Jeff and I was like, how do people still wear high heels? I can barely put real shoes on. I know, Holden that you're like a heels man.

That's the thing. I just look to Jeff and I was like, thank God. Jeff is not a heels dude. Like he doesn't give a shit about it. I'm like, thank Christ. Because I can't imagine I can barely put real shoes on anymore. I will say this. Lexa almost never wears any kind of heel.

And it's all about, you know, but you don't have to walk around in the bedroom all day. Right, right, right. Oh, no, no. I'm saying, like use it. Oh, yeah, no, use it for sexual purposes. But the people out there who just regularly wear heels, like, I remember when I worked in offices, and there would just be, like, certain people who would come in and, like, stilettos every day. I'm so impressed.

I don't know how they do that. I can't imagine it. Especially in New York City. It's like, what is going on? Like, just fashion above all. Like, they're just pain for fashion, man. And I talked to someone, they're like, yeah, your feet just go numb. And I was like, what?

But, but, ow. That's nuts to me. Yeah, that's like the craziest thing. Um, it's also crazy that Ozzy Osbourne, I remember this, remember in the heyday of, um, what is it? The Osbournes, like the reality show, um, when he was hawking, I can't believe it's not butter. Now, that is such a full circle moment for Ozzy Osbourne. Can you imagine how he felt hawking. I can't believe it's not butter.

At least be working for a butter campaign, but I can't believe it's not butter, Ozzy Osbourne. Well, they had a lot. I can't believe it's not butter. was like had a huge marketing push back at this time, right? It's all we had in our home. We had Molly McButter and we had, I can't believe it's not butter. It was like, I don't understand. Everywhere.

And they've since like, they just, they must have just totally cut their marketing budget. Actually, I don't even know if I see them in the stores anymore. They went so hard for, for marketing and getting that. You know, sometimes companies just do that. They're like, we're not going to like put any money to anything other than like paying a celebrity to say this product is good on TV. And it's wild. I think that there has been a sunset of like the era of like, hopefully it's not like the real food to now be like,

you should eat the real food, you know? So I feel like now it's like, no, just eat actual butter. So I can't believe it's not butter. It's probably like, man, our time has come and gone. Now people want it to be actually butter. They want to believe it. It is butter. Yeah.

And it's not. I want real butter. Thank you. And last but not least, we've got Method Man. And I remember this as well. when Method Man released World Gone Sour the Lost Kids, a full rap video to promote Sour Patch Kids. And that was such a weird.

It's really not that bad of a song. And I just remember watching it just being like, what the fuck is Method Man doing? So when I saw this on the list, is like, does everybody else remember? Did you guys remember this video? Am I crazy? Going back to the Snoop Dog thing,

it's all, it's never not funny when like someone who started out with like really hard lyrics to end up eventually doing like a serial for kids. And it's like always hilarious because you're like, I definitely heard you like entire songs about you murdering people the streets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But now you're like, Samadj Kids. You were like, I got really into you because I legitimately thought you were a scary person.

And now you're out there like selling sour badge kids to my children. It's so hilarious. And that's our list for you. All right. Well, this is me not being able to see. That's right. I think I'm going blind items. Oh, we can't see them.

No matter how many times the media writes it and wishes it to be, this superhero movie is not being pulled. No matter what. The Flash? The Flash. How I don't understand. We didn't. How Ezra Miller is still on a movie screen. It is crazy.

I do not understand it. It is crazy. We didn't talk, yeah. This is one of those, I was praying. It wouldn't actually come up in the main show because my other backup line was pretty weak. Apparently, Bill Gates and Jay-Z are in a partnership, and they're trying to corner the uterus farm market in India. I don't know how much water that holds.

We have talked about. We used to talk about uterus farms again because it's. Beyonce and Jay-Z apparently. It used to be in the blinds all the time. Apparently, Bill Gates is apparently in the mix now with Jay-Z. Jackie, that's actually big. We've worked way ahead of the game.

Whoa. Oh, wow. Okay. So I guess that was so funny. But I didn't have any more information on it other than apparently Bill Gates just like praising India for its scientific achievements lately. That was like the article. I was just like, what even is this? I'm glad you guys have some backup. What is a uterus fire?

It's just like, is it like that scene? in Mad Max Fury Road with the women and the milk machine women or whatever? I mean, I guess kind of. I mean, I feel like it's more of what I thought was going to happen in the Edgar Ever and Ever Through Line of Riverdale, but it is not what happened with it, because I thought it was uterus farms for a while.

Interesting. I'm assuming it's not just uteri and tubes. I guess it's full people with a uterus that they implant. Yeah, just there to create children. Well, we'll get, hopefully I'll find out some more information on that for next week. But maybe someone can write in, give me a little info on that one. But yeah, we haven't talked.

Ezra Miller has been in our articles, like, kind of like for the past few weeks. We haven't really gotten into it. Obviously a big news story. Various media outlets speculating about the fate of the film, The Flash, in the wake of Ezra Miller's reign of terror, with the most recent incident surrounding a missing mother and her three children and connect to the actor, which, by the way,

I don't think has been resolved. No, because they raided, they rated their home looking for these missing people because there have been multiple accounts of people that have gone missing and their multiple, like, oh, stay away from me, laws.

Restraining orders out against them. And they went, they went into their home looking for these people, and then I'm going to assume They were like, we got to arrest this person for something. And so they were like, oh, there was this like stolen goods. And so that's what they arrested them for.

But these people are still missing. And I do want to give a shout out to Sweet Baby Corn from our chat. Sweet Baby Corn wrote in a very well-written email to us talking about how they feel that a big part of this problem is the fact that a lot of Ezra Miller's targets have been young, queer, indigenous. people and that it is something that is not being followed because no one wants to talk about it. And that there's an epidemic of missing and murdered indigenous women that are, that are, that is happening currently. And no one is talking about it. Except for maybe some place underneath. The, I was going to say, some place underneath.

We talk about it over on spun. Please check out someplace underneath over on the last podcast network because they are doing very amazing work over there trying to get these stories covered. And Sweet Babycorn, thank you so much for writing in because I agree with you. And that's like, what about the other young person that Ezra Miller also took that the family has a restraining order out against them? But Ezra Miller still has control and has brainwashed their child. And their child is like, no, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. But everyone around them is like, it's not fine.

This is not okay. He like went to jail in between reshoots and then like got out. and they kept just resh- Like they kept working. This is the weird thing is like... Why are they still the flash? Why are they still the flash? I'm so curious.

And also the poor guy that got replaced by him has got to be fucking furious. Like, really, guys? We couldn't just go with my like normal functioning ass on this thing. We had to get... We need to talk about Kevin Guy. And then he's just a complete shit show nightmare.

And it's there's still... The film is still set to release June 23rd, 2020. three. So, and it seems like there's no one in sight, but it's like, I'm, a guy, right? You guys are going to like get someone else after that. Also, I barely remember his performance.

It's not like iconic. It's not like some Heath Ledger shit where I'm like, how, but how are they going to replace this guy? I mean, they have to just remove the flashing type. No, I don't, I barely remember, I don't even, it's whatever. Because it's Disney and it's Marvel and they've got so much money

and they have so much money wrapped up into it. So at the end of the day, you're going to put people in danger because you have too much money wrapped up in a franchise, you pieces of shit, and nothing is going to come from it. They're going to put out the movie. People are going to, please don't go see it. Can we just at least try anyone listening to this? Please don't see it. Don't give any money towards it. There needs to be some sort of trying to have a protest against Ezra Miller still being on screens anywhere. Right, right, right. I don't understand. Yeah. Also, just trying to confirm.

I think the, isn't the Flash DC? I think the Flash is DC. I don't know. I don't know. I'm sorry, I don't know. Either way, whatever the Flash is. But whatever the Flash is doing. Well, just either way, not, I don't think he's Marvel Disney.

Oh, gotcha, gotcha. What is DC then? DC is Warner Brothers. Oh, it is Warner Brothers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But still. I mean, yeah, it's not what I'm. DC, you're bad.

And Warner Brothers, you're being bad. So, yeah, if you need more, like, we could give you the rundown on the show, but it's a lot. Just go online. There are several different outlets who have a full rundown of all of the many things. A couple of harassing, arrests in Hawaii for disorderly conduct, stealing liquor from people's houses most recently. There is a video of them choking a woman and putting the fan on the ground. Yeah. Choking a fan, throwing them on the ground.

This person's just incredibly unhinged and unstable and, like, they got to go. But now they're... But now they're able to be like, I'm getting the help that I'm not saying that this person's not. There's too much. There's too much. Yeah, you need to be held accountable for what you've done. What a DC thing too is just so funny to me. DC is just so like cannot catch a break.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry Marvel. They're due. I'm sure that they're covering up on things. They have so many symptoms in their closet. I just did an episode I was at the Brewster on Splash Mountain and its whole history with Song of the South. They've got so much crazy shit going on.

All of them. All of them. All of them. corporations. It is bizarre to think about, like, that if a bigger, I guess if a bigger name was doing the things that Ezra Miller was doing, like, it's strange that, that's what I was saying. I'm like, it's not like he, I need him as flat. Like, no one is out there being like, yeah, I just don't see the flash as anyone.

No one is like that at all. Like, what? And, but if it was Henry Cavill or fucking Robert Downey Jr., we'd say. Henry Cavill would never. I know, it would never. I love how he's just a fucking nerd who builds PC. Yeah, Henry Gavelle would never. And gets hit on too much.

And we get to feel actually bad for him because people are like so grabby with him in interviews and stuff. I'm all super good of that. All right, here we go. The next one. This is a weird one too. What?

I said, I'll toss a coin to that witcher. Yeah, you won't toss a coin to that witcher. You'll have sex with the witcher. You will fuck the witcher. And then post it on Instagram. All right, this late night talk show actually thought about not airing the episode they recorded with the permanent A-list singer because of how blitzed out of her mind she was.

Oh, I hope it's Mariah. No. Similar-ish camp, you know, more unhinged, more weird lately on social media and stuff. One named, by the way. Madonna. Madonna. And just name all of the late night shows and you'll get to it. Oh, Seth Myers.

No. Jimmy Fallon. Yes. All right, there you go. So Madonna definitely looked this up, listener at home. Madonna seemed quite odd in a recent appearance on the late. night show, which ended with her straddling Jimmy Fallon on the floor. She did a whole seduction thing. She flashed her butt to the audience and seductively slid on Fallon's desk as

well. It was extra, which is a term I forgot existed until I watched her appearance and remembered the word. But also she just seems like whacked, bro. I don't know what's going on. But I've been having a hard time for a while and it seems like it's escalating lately. It's very strange. It's gotten increasingly rough, especially through the pandemic. Remember how weird she was being during during the pandemic as well i i don't i i can't even is it is it just booze i have no idea maybe it's just like i mean i also can't imagine living a life where you get to the you know in your mid-60s and like you've been this sex and pop symbol for such a long time that like wouldn't i feel like wouldn't your brain kind of slowly deteriorate over time of

just being like in that world for so long well i think she just she just just hasn't figured out how to make that like share transition into like icon status like legendary status also share doesn't like get blitz i think it's also yeah yeah for sure addiction problem too i'm not saying that definitely an addiction issue mixed with like but i think the addiction issue is connected to her obviously over time insatiable need for like constant relevance. Yes. And the fact that, like, she's, she, if she just embraced being this, like, like,

icon. Right. Situation growing a little older, embracing the idea that she's not going to connect with 16-year-olds anymore, like she used to. I think that's, you know. Share is, like, the perfect example for how to transition into being, like, an elder celebrity, both in terms of, like, not trying to be young, but also in terms of, like, trying to like see where the language is at and where the trends are at, you know.

Cher is still like hot in this way. Like I'm not looking at her as like L.L. She is like L. L. L. older than Madonna. Wow. That's so crazy. But she seems younger to me. Yes, definitely.

I would have actually, if you would ask me, she seems younger because I think that's from like taking care of herself and, again, and embracing this point in her life. She doesn't smoke. She doesn't drink. She doesn't eat refined sugars. I mean, if there's one thing, I hate to say all these things about. about J-Lo and Cher, they both say the same things about, like, they eat vegetarian. They're, like, pure. They're pure.

And that's, I guess the ticket. Which is hilarious, because Binafleck is just this, like, hammered gambler from all, everything I hear. Yeah. Well, you know, maybe to, like, loosen up a little bit, because that is very tight. That would be hard to be around, I think, someone who was that regimented. Yeah, but I feel like they probably have enough time away from each other that, that, like, he can still.

That's why those pictures of them going to go get Dunkin' Donuts We all know that J-Lo's not eating any of the Dunkin' Don't pretend here But that's why I say like Madonna's trying to kind of go on Fallon and do this like seduction thing That's just not like playing You know? And it's not because, ew, she's old. It's because it's like tryhardy. Totally.

It's not because she could pull something like that off. Totally. You know. There are actually now we live in a wonderful timeline where there are many more visible examples of like that it is okay to be a woman who gets older. And I think, I don't know, maybe she's still just in the mindset of, like, when she was young, it was not okay to be a woman who got older. And she hasn't figured out that it actually is okay.

I think it would be really hard to be, like, that big of a sex symbol. Yes, when it's all about how hot you are. Your punchline is always related to, like, how huge of a sex symbol, sexual dynamo you are. And for that to kind of, like, have to transition into something else. I just think she's fighting a tooth and nail and it's, like, not, it doesn't look good. But girl, look at Jane Fondon. Her thing was that she's a sex symbol And now her thing is that she's a

Hot old lady. Yeah, she's great. Hot, you know? I agree. Like, yeah, that's the thing. It's like, I'm not saying both can't be true. Totally. When you're like brute forcing it to be true, it shines.

All right. Last one. This A-list three-named singer is hiring herself out as a psychic to share her powers. She's a singer. She likes to sing because she has kind of like a, Oh, yeah, no, now I'm getting it. That's really helping.

All right, three-name singer. Yeah, three-name singer. She's very L.A. She's very, like, kind of, seem to kind of come out of nowhere, but she has since put out a bunch of really good albums. Carly Ray Jepson. Oh, my God, I love her so much. She didn't come out of nowhere.

How dare you? I love Carla and Jepson so much. I'm focusing on the three names. I know. I'm thinking more than anything. Because what you say, Holden sounds like Lady Gaga's part in the middle of shallow, and she's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, No, no, no, no, it's more like, uh, uh, uh, uh, she's.

Yeah, but like, that Lord only has one name. Yeah, I said it. Yeah, I said it. She, uh, I don't know how to get more, uh, how to not be more obvious. She's very Hollywood. She's kind of, almost has like an indie vibe a little bit, too, a little bit more. three name more recent. Abby Lou Harris?

That's one name. Two names. I saw her name in the cloud. No, Olivia Newton, John, but she's dead. I saw her name in the clouds. She's dead. She's dead. I saw her name in the clouds.

I saw her name in the clouds because of the album involving Kim Trails. She, oh, she's like, sings about video games. It's her first big song. It's called video games, actually. I really like that song. Don't know it.

LDR are the initials. I don't listen to Lana Del Rey, but... Yeah, I like Lana Del. Honestly, you might want to check out some more, like her most recent album is really, I think really good, and which I believe is called... No, no, there's something like country club, something. But either way...

I like that even your... The hints that we're going to give it away still didn't give it any... As soon as I say Kim Trails, you'll know Kim Trails at the part... over the parking lot, which is like her one of her more recent albums. And the first big song was

video games, but she's had this, like, I think no one thought she would be this, like, consistent and lasted this long, and she's been really solid, but she's also a psychic. Interestingly enough, though, the linked article for this blind is about her psychic, who is named Medium Fluorlesync.

She is a 32-year-old born in Holland, who has become, quote, Hollywood's hottest conduit to the spirit world. She boasts three-year waiting list costs $700 a session. What? And also, yeah, and also teaches online classes on how to tap into your intuition, read signs, communicate with spirits.

What do you say, Jackie? Should we get on that waiting list? Let's get on the waiting list. It's better than the waiting list I got on, but then immediately got off of to go to Tyra Banks' model land that's opening in a couple of weeks. Why'd you get off? Why'd you get up? Because it is $150 to walk in the door.

And I was like, I literally, I got. I can't. I cannot spend this money for something there's no way that's not going to be a mediocre let down experience.

Like there's no fucking way. I couldn't do it. Like who is involved in that? Who is who are who's what's the production company putting that on? Is it is that a pop-up affair too or is it like a permanent theme part?

It's a pop-up affair. I don't know, Jackie. I think that you should get Henry to pay for it and call it research. Yeah, exactly. Can we get network? Yeah, can we put that on the company card? I feel like that's a network.

This is for my job, Henry. I have to go. Well, there you go. I can see again, so maybe I will see my way to model land, but there are your blinds for this week. Thank you so much. Ezra, what is going on? I mean, this is the first time we've broken the seal on this, I feel like, on this show. But Ezra Miller is...

We talked about them a little bit a while ago, but it's just, it's been, they've been a constant in the news of just horrible things. I think that this shows that we should not have children at child actors, play, psychopaths, especially several times over and over in multiple films. Because I think, I don't know if that has anything to do with anything. But I just feel like child stardom is already just like, you're just setting people on such a shaky path. And then where it's like, oh, and your thing is that you look like you're a murderer.

And we're just only going to cast you as like a child murderer. That's like every part you're going to get. We want you to be really method about it. We want you to live in that world and really be that person. Uh, yeah, for sure. And also, I just wanted to say real quick to UMJ live here, that pretty little liar's original sin. Did I tell you that it does cross over with Riverdale? What?

Wow. It's on a totally different network. It's on a totally fucking different network, but Roberto Aguirre Sa cacasa coming through. You texted and you liked it. Yes, and it is connected because there's a reference to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. and so we're going to see what happens in the future. You don't even understand. You don't even get us.

You don't even get us. It's the Bluey of the eye. Dude, I cannot wait for how much you will love Bluey. And I know that you both don't. The reason everyone's talking about it is because the new season just came out. And the new season, it's, I was, the other day, I was in a terrible mood. After watching minions, I'm like, I need that to exist as well because, like, I'm in a, I can't watch, like, just minions shit.

I can send you my list of favorite Bluey episodes if you'd like, you should each just watch one so that you know what people are talking about. You know, it is like a pop culture thing where you're like, oh,

I'll watch Bluey. It is so, so good and so moving. It's really a show about parenthood, even though it's a show for kids. It's like a show about parenthood. And it's just absolutely, I think that the parents out there

will understand what I was trying to say when I compared Bluey to Beyonce. And minions movies are supposed to be, about being for kids and they're actually just fodder for alt-right memes by boomers. So that could not have been more clear from watching Rise of Gru

in theaters now. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. Well, thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode of page seven. Don't, you know, please look up Elizabeth Chan just so you can join me in screaming

about it if you would like. And I really appreciate you guys hanging out with us. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can also come hang out with me over on Twitch.tv.TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie on Sundays and Wednesdays and Tuesdays. And that's a lot of fun. And also, we're going to miss you guys for the next two weeks. We will still be providing content, but we won't be present during the content. So things like- The machine still cranks forward. It's cranking, but I will return with shout-outs in two-week.

time and it will be delightful. Yeah, please page 7, podcast at gmail.com. That's the number 7, not the word. Also, please keep those conspiracy theories coming in or keep expounding on this, you know, command dance stuff, because I'll just keep doing those

until we all stop this madness and start dancing freely how we wish to dance. You know what I mean? Anyways, check me out. Twitch.com.tv.4. Holdenators ho. Monday, Tuesday, Friday, streams. I will be taking one week off next week, but

generally Monday, Tuesday, Friday streams. Jacking with the Holdies on Fridays is always a blast. It's always a fun time. Check us out. And that's all. MJ? My name is MJ and I'm always sliding to the left. And I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram.

Yeah, you are. Yeah, I'm sliding right into Hitler's third. No! I am not sliding to the right. I am always sliding to the left. We love you guys so much and let's sing the shout-out song. Shout, shout, let it all out.

These are the e-bills that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read it up to you. Come on. Thank you guys so incredibly much for sending amazing stories and amazing shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That is 7 the number, page 7podcast.gm.com. This is also a reminder.

We're not going to have shoutouts for the next couple of weeks, but I'll be back in action when we get back in town, baby, and I am excited to hear about y'all's stories. And honestly, thank you guys so much for taking the time to write in, even if it's just a, hey, I'm thinking of you, and I appreciate the birthday love, and I love you guys so incredibly much. But strap in, I do see that we have a sad one today,

and I've already cried while reading through it earlier. I really appreciate you guys sharing stories and just sending us a little bit of love our way. I really, really appreciate. Again, that's page 7 podcast at gmail.com. First up, we've got a great one in here. Oh, my God, because we've got a new baby Jackie. That's my name. Congratulations, Julian.

Julian wrote in to my Instagram, but I saw it and I made sure to send it over to page 7 podcast at gmail.com because I didn't want to forget and congratulate Julian and Jenna. Julian says, I'm sitting in the hospital with my longtime girlfriend and our second baby Jackson. Yes, I've called him Jackie, but that's my name, about 100 times, and I love it. My girlfriend, Jenna, is an incredibly strong mama who deserves a shout out for one of her favorite podcasts. We love you guys and have grown closer together listening to all the last podcast shows any chance we get. I have a clip saved from a Twitch stream from almost three years ago

where you squeal my username and congratulate us on the first baby so hopefully I can get a sick snippet from page seven. Oh, I'm so happy for you guys. Welcome Baby Jackson or who I like to call Baby Jackie. Seriously love all that you guys do and support and we need you to keep revealing the truth about that fish fucking oddball, Tom Cruise. and don't you worry, Julian, I am here until both the babies grow old, and I am going to be screaming about Tom, Fishfucker Cruz, into a microphone,

even if it's just for you and your family. I'll do it. Congratulations, you guys. And this one isn't a shout-out per se, but Michaela, it was just so sweet. I needed to read it. Michaela had a story about doing Greece in their childhood. Michaela says, I went to kindergarten at a Gallup Run Child Care Center in the Midwest. We had maybe eight kids in my kindergarten class.

For our kindergarten graduation, we put on a performance for our families and our teacher, and they had us perform Greece. They showed us the movie. I don't remember if they showed the whole movie or just segments. Our parents were aware and also were apparently fine with the teacher showing a bunch of six-year-olds, a BG-13 movie, and also reenacting said movie. This was a major production, and I'm pretty sure we performed every single song in the movie, Greece, with both singing and choreographed dancing. I do remember that I was disappointed that I didn't get to be Sandy and instead was cast as Rizzo.

I had a solo in the Sandra D. song, but we all know Rizzo's the best character anyway, so Mazzle. When I got older and watched Greece, I was slightly disturbed that this was the kindergarten teacher's choice for a children's performance, but it does mean. make for a great story. We used to have a VHS recording of the entire performance that the school gave out to our families, but I don't know if it's still around. Just needed to share this because it's one of my favorite stories for my early years. Love you all. Love Michaela. Thank you so much, Michaela. It really put a smile on my face. Why did they make eight children perform all of Greece? And last but not least, and I know that I already said it up top, and I just want to send all of my love to Porter. I will cry through this. And, um,

And so much love to you and to those around you. Porter says, I just wanted to write in to shout out my dear friend Maggie. Maggie and I dated for just over three years. And in that time, we constantly bonded over page seven. It was our go-to in the car and gave us so many insider jokes. We actually had our own meat puke that I won't get into now. Jackie, I don't know if you remember this, but you so nicely recorded a private message for Maggie's 21st birthday two years ago. which made her pandemically difficult 21st so much better.

You sang Maggie made by Rod Stewart. I remember it. I just had to just straight up pause so that I could go, ugh, uh, to myself. And I didn't want to keep that from you. I will continue on. Maggie tragically passed away in a car accident last week, on her way to her friend's wedding in California.

She's left an incredible legacy of love. and kindness. Maggie was the most incredible person. She was effortlessly unique and so genuinely sweet. She was adamantly ex-Morman, fuck yeah, and built her own set of beliefs. She loved people so much and cared about social issues, both politically and in pop culture. From LGBTQ plus rights to 90-day fiancé, Maggie invested herself deeply in all of her interests. She was supremely creative and an undeniable badass. I've been so in awe and constantly impressed with her this past year. She achieved her goal of moving to a big city, living in just the cutest apartment, and somehow paying insane rent while going to school. She got into her dream school, earned scholarships,

and regularly wrote opinion pieces for the school's paper. She was making her own dreams happen, and I just couldn't be happier for her. I know this is very dark for such a fun and generally light-hearted podcast, but I know she would love being immortalized on a show that meant so much to her and brought her so much joy. Her family held her memorial and funeral in a Mormon chapel, which could never do justice to this kick-ass, tequila drinking, bar-loving, eloquently profane, weed queen, that was Maggie. So maybe this is a better place to remember who she really was. Fuck yeah, Porter! I implore anyone listening to, to take a note from Maggie.

To commit acts of kindness and love without hope of returns. To stand up for yourself and beliefs. And make your badass self-heard. To empathize so deeply and in a way that can enact internal and external change. Or just listen to some no doubt or Fiona Apple or the vaccines. Much love to you three. You've brought me and Maggie so much joy and happiness. And I know you will continue to.

So much love to you, Porter. And so much love to you, Maggie. If you're listening, you're fucking bad ass and shit. And I'm sorry that your memorial was held in a Mormon chapel when you know that you wouldn't have wanted it like that. Thank you so much, Porter, for sending in the time. I'm sorry that I cried through it. And thank you for sharing such an amazing force that was Maggie with us. I felt like she was here with me while I read it.

And I really appreciate you guys. Oh, God, no, just. I love you guys. live every day, be good to each other. I'm going to miss you guys over a couple of weeks, but we will be back in force in a couple of weeks. Love you so fucking much. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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