Page 7 - Ep. 477: This Is Our Hangover Episode

Episode Date: January 19, 2023

This week we're gossin' while PHYSICALLY IN A ROOM TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEEEARS, we're all here to help Jackie with her PROOOBLEMS, turning back time with TBell, Martha Stewart's Not So Dry January VS Holden's Focus February VS May Of Mistakes, MJ gets 'Californication'ed, the Fuck-It Hat trend GROWS and SPREADS, Kanye rings those wedding bells again, Prince Harry's 'todger' story turning everyone pro-colonialism, the Jersey Shore song makin' us all do somethin' CRAAAAZY, Gwen Stefani really IS Japanese, the yahoo comment section giving gifts that keep on giving, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Did Lindsay Lohan have a KISS stand-in!? A bit of a sassy list, bLiNdZ and SHOOOUUUTZZ! Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And I'm MJ. And I'm Holden from the Page 7 podcast, and we're going on tour! That's right, we're touring all up in this mother freaking country. A fake cursing so whatever, Jackie. Just say the filthy F word already. And we will say the filthy F word when we come to your town. That's right.

We're coming to Texas, the Midwest, the Northeast, and then right back here in Cali, baby. For ticket links and more details, visit lastpodcastnetwork.com. That's right, Last Podcast Network.com. H. 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser present. Release the butthole cut. Wait, that's really what we're calling the tour? Absolutely. Release the butthole cut.

For more information, go to Last Podcast Network.com. Get crazy. Seriously, Jackie? Fucking seriously. No, no. Take me to the YMCA. We're going to take it to the YMCA. YMCA.

YMCA. That's what you guys going? I'm trying to bring in Jersey Shore. No. Bringing me YMCA. Okay, look, Jackie's hungover and tired. Oh, I am the only one in this room. She didn't take care of herself.

Oh, I didn't take care of myself. Jackie. Everyone in this room is hungover. Don't you throw me under the bus? And we are all in one room for the first time in years. Key phrase is in this room. We're all in the room. All hung over in this room.

So let's get it started in here. Let's get it started in here. Oh, we should sing the whole episode. Because it's so hard to sing when we're in a different room. Leslie has cancer. You guys know this one. Leslie's going to die. I feel like he's holding always this loud or is you just this loud when you're hungover.

He's getting crazy, getting loud. I'm kidding. I'm trying to counterbalance the energy because you are being a sluggy Susan. You're a sluggy. Susan, I'm going to insult on you, and you're going to shrivel up, and you're going to become a lizard. You know what I mean? That's what happens. Yeah.

Holden is a slug named Susan, but Jackie is a Susan who is sluggish. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Because I'm not leaving the slime trail every time I walk into a place like Holden does. What are you talking about?

Well, I guess I do. It depends on how warning I am. Come on. We are just coming off of a run of shows, San Francisco and Los Angeles. By the way, Texas, we're fucking coming for you. Dallas and Austin, Last Podcast Network.com. It is happening so soon. These crowds, hottest crowds we've had the whole time.

Man, feeling it. We have so much fun in California. So fun. The Californian people are a bunch of yellers. Yeah, I couldn't believe it because actually our most tepid, Slowest selling show last time we did a tour was L.A. And this year it was fucking banging. We had our family there, all the LPN folks off to the side, confused as to what the show is.

But they still were partying. I agree. My favorite moment at the end in the finale, which I guess I won't say exactly what happens for those Texas people who haven't seen it yet. And hopefully maybe more people will get to see the show someday. But at the end, when we are all singing together, I looked in the corner and I saw Henry standing up waving his arm. I'm back and forth like it was at a concert. It was very, very fun. You really got into it.

It was very fun. And then we drank because we were excited that we had fun. This is the problem is that you get excited, right? And then all of a sudden, you're just like, what have I done? You wake up this, I woke up this morning. I was like, what is wrong with me? It's because, you know, so many regular live performers either are like sober or horrible trunks because you get that high on stage and then you need to like keep it going.

Like, you're like, I'm not done with this high. And so you choose to drink and drug, Jackie. And that's why MJ's here. We're staging an intervention. You got problems. Yeah. So I kept up with you last night and that was a lot of drinking. No.

You didn't keep up with me last night. Don't you dare. I think that you did great, Jackie. We hung out with our friends after the, we had a fucking awesome show. Our LA show was like, I mean, every show has been incredible. But the LA show was so fun. We all hung out and partied afterwards. And then Jackie took me home and we ate Taco Bell at three in the morning.

I'm kind of jelly of the talking bell. We did, a bunch of 17-year-olds. I think that it's the Taco Bell that hurts the most. What are we getting at talk? Because I actually literally just went to Taco Bell. I just do three soft tacos with the fire sauce. They have the Diablo sauce. Well, sexually frozen.

Sexily frozen and Taco Bell is sexually frozen. That translates to fast food orders. I am a number one large size. Yeah, you're a piss-sized down the line. Yeah, number one. Wow. Yeah, I got it. Is this because I called you a slug, Susan?

Yes, I'm hurt. I'm shriveled and I'm hurt. You're not a sluggy, Susan. Thank you. We'll not throw the salt on you. But, yeah, I just do the three soft tacos and the fire sauce at Diablo. I just don't like the taste.

The heat's fine. What about you guys? What do we go for? I use my own at-home hot sauce. I don't use their prescribed hot sauce. They were trying to get me to use their at-home hot sauce last night, and I was like, I haven't tasted Taco Bell hot sauce in about 15 years. Nothing about fire sauce. Like, I love it so much.

It is so good. I'm like, I've never tasted another hot sauce to taste like this. I don't want it to touch my meats. Yes. Yeah. My Taco Bell meats. I'm back into the CrunchRap Supreme. I turned back time.

I spent about 20 minutes looking at the Taco Bell menu, agonizing over what to get because it had been so long. And I was like, I don't really know what any of these things are. Like, I don't really know what a CrunchRap Supreme is. I got a Gordita. No, a Chalupa. And I was like, this is just like a taco and a pita. but it was fucking delicious.

Right a fried pizza. I got a black bean chalupa and it was delicious. Like truly fantastic. And yeah, all you haters out there, I'm telling you, it really, once every in a blue moon. It's not, it's not Mexican food. Chippole Mexican food. Chippole is not Mexican food. No.

I'll never say it is. It's a different beast all together. And sometimes, man, late at night when you've been drinking tequila and I'm like, you know what I really need, a crunch rap supreme. But I'll tell you what, I'll turn your. butthole into a different beast. You know, that, you know, I'm talking about. I feel like Taco Bell doesn't affect my butt. And now, I will say, I have been hurt by Taco Bell before.

Yeah. I have definitely been hurt before. Come on, what? But it doesn't happen as consistently as it does with Chipotle. Wow. Chipotle really is a power blower through your body. That is, uh, on how, I may even try to get it today. That is just on.

I may even try to get it like a bit. I crave it when I'm hung over, I crave it. It's like a cleanse. It's like a cleanse. It's like a cleanse. Oh, yeah. It is January. So instead of dry January, you're going to do your own chucky Chapo-Lay.

I blessed my innards out through Chipotle. It's a cleanse. Congratulations, Holden. You're welcome. I mean, I feel like that. So have you ever done a dry January before? Because we are going to start talking about Martha Stewart's dry January campaign. No, I, you know, I have a.

haven't. I don't like to commit that hard. Yeah, I hate committing and I hate like, you know, respecting myself. I do, though. I don't like to commit that hard because, no, I know deep in my soul, because I'm not going to set myself up for failure, okay? I'm not, I'm going to have a very focused February. It's focused February. Because I want to, like, write a bunch and stuff. But you know what I want to do

while I'm writing instead of playing video games? I want to have a fucking glass of wine while I do that. So, no, I'm not going to go dry. Chugie. Yeah, I just called you Chuggy. He needs to have his glass of wine. You call a grown woman a slug and the insults start flying. You're a chuggy slug. I mean, I...

You're a chuky slug. And by the way, M.J. gets to fire shots at both of us for the corner and get nothing in return. No one's calling me to Eddie names, yeah. You're a Michael Bay ass fucking bitch. Whoa, explosions, bitch. I'm big cinematic. picturesque moves, wherever I go. You're like a maniac on set and like, yeah, it's all that stuff.

I forgot about that. Yeah, MJ really is the maniac of the group. People compare me to Michael Bay all the time, so I've heard it before. No, I have not done dry January because I told myself that my two pregnancies were the longest dry Januarys I need in my life. Right. And I don't need to. I mean, some people, I think it's really nice for them to just like take that month off. Unfortunately, most of the people I know who do dry January then just, just,

go twice as hard in February. And so I feel like it's better for me to just be like, I just don't get super drunk all the time, but I do like to drink a little bit fairly frequently. You know what I mean? Cut back November. I don't know. You know what I mean? Cut back adulthood. How we call it,

as you grow, you know. By the way, it's also just be an adult. Just be an adult, dude. You don't have to, you know what I mean? Just fucking... I mean, we say this after we just drink a bunch of tequila and taco bell in the night. But in general, we're trending towards growing up. That's why it hurts so badly now because I don't usually do this anymore.

So it really does take you down a couple of pegs. Sorry, I went on my own worm time over here because you said Michael Bay. And that was like, oh, that horrendous movie ambulance that Jeff and I saw and we were in the front row of ambulance. It was a terrible movie. Jake Gyllenhall, it was so fucking long. And Michael Bay just does this whole like shaking of the camera for the entire movie. And so we're in the front row, and I'm high as balls. And the movie was just an hour too long.

And I was just begging for it. And it was all these like aerial shots the entire time. And I just looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes. And it has an 88% audience score. What am I missing? What am I missing? I think people who go see Michael Bay in the theater, really, that's what they want. They like it.

You can set your watch by what that experience is going to be and they're there for it. Yeah. I guess it's my hot take. you didn't realize you were going to a Michael Bay movie. Well, didn't he do that? I will say, I liked those newer Teenage Ninja Turtles movies, though. And yeah, I was bombed out of my fucking mind when I went to saw them. Both times.

I think I went with Julia Johns, maybe both times. We just got fucking house, you know, and got there so late, we had to, like, sit in the front row, just hammered, just staring directly up at, like, this nonsense for an hour and a half. We had a great time with those, you know. I mean, you just have to, it's just a different approach to a film. You know what I mean? You have to go into the theater prepared for the shit show. And yeah, speak of like opposite of dry, you don't want dry January and we go see that shit. Do not see a Michael Bay moon in dry January.

Yeah, you need fucking hammered May. Was it, did Michael Bay also make a hammered May? That's a great month. Hammered May is awesome. No problem with hammered May. The May of mistakes, yeah. May of mistakes is the best name for May I've ever heard. This year I'm having a.

May of mistakes. Because that gives you enough time to, like, pull it back in for the holidays. That gives, it's right in the middle. Well, it's your launch into the summer. You launch in the summer. Yes. I love the month of May. Maybe it might be my favorite month because it's, you know, I live in a place with

seasons unlike you people in this beautiful city. Oh, yeah. New York. It's so easy to go grocery shop right there. Or MJ has I had to deal with, like, see how nice and easy it is in LA? See how breezy it is? Look at this sun fair. Look how breezy the sun's just so nice.

It's just like, I'm just getting her car. It's very nice here. Really nice. Well, before I left, It's been raining the whole time, but yeah, it's normally very nice. But still,

Gideon said before I left, I love you, have so much fun, have a great time, but I'm not moving to L.A. So, of course, I'm here with all my dear friends having a fucking awesome time.

Yeah. Brought me to see the Gene Kelly star on the Walk of Fame last night. I just love the way you describe it because they were hammered and Eddie's like, the Gene Kelly star is like two blocks away. Yeah, they ran off.

They ran off to look at it. I've, ran after them thinking y'all was going to go smoke some devil's grass. And then the bouncer was like, they went that way. And it was, Eddie and I. It was raining ass. It was like, I'm not fucking going to see a star. It was Lord.

It was pouring rain. Eddie goes, the Gene Kelly star is two blocks away. You want to go do it? And I was like, yeah. And so we went outside. We had a black umbrella and it was raining just like singing in the rain. Wow. Running through the streets of L.A.

In the rain with a black umbrella to go see Gene Kelly's star. and I'm going to go ahead and call it a core memory. Oh, that's so sweet. There you go. See, and now you're going to move to Los Angeles. To make more core memories. We got them. Ed's here.

He's huge. He's an idiot. I mean, it's great at making core memories. It really made me feel very encouraged, though, because Eddie did wear his fucking hat out. He has a public's fucking hat, and that made me very envious because now I think I have to get a public's fucking hat. but he said it might be too big for my head.

Wow. They only make Publix bucket hats for giant heads. Jump size. Yeah, yeah. And then they make tiny ones for penises. Oh, that's kind of cute. That's sweet. Except I have a big one for my penis.

Yeah. I feel like your penis you just make look like one of the pub subs. Uh-huh. You know those like, you know when you go to the carnival, those little clowns things you throw balls at? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like that. It is your penis like that? I'm sorry, you squirt it with a hose.

Oh, okay. Let's see, like, you want me start throwing things at your penis? Slam! Slam! Yeah, I got that slug. Good. Oh, my God. Oh, the slug has good aim.

Celebrities, huh? They're just really out of the doubt. I was trying to talk about Arthur Stewart in the dry January campaign. I'm sorry, this is the most cynical dry January campaign I have ever seen because it's literally Tito's vodka being like, are you doing dry January? Cook your meat with our vodka. What? It's like, here's all these different ways you can use.

Use our vodka throughout your month of not drinking. But it's great, though, because if you watch the commercial, it's Martha Stewart blandly, like, you can do this with vodka. You can do this with vodka. And then she sprays it in the air and tries to catch it in her mouth. It's very, it's genuinely a very funny campaign. Misty January. Yes. Yeah, it doesn't.

That doesn't kind of drinking if you misting it into your mouth. If you're misting it into your mouth. Yeah, I'm like, what are we doing here? This is just like enabling, like, crazy. Crazy. If you're trying to take a break from alcohol and it's like put it in all of your sauces. Then you can have it. And Simon, the true.

You can't have it. It's dry January. You're not supposed to do anything with your fucking vodka. I think it's so funny. It's such a slap in the face to people that are trying to better themselves. It really is. It's insulting. You're like, oh, do you want to, especially because I feel like dry January, the idea is like, well, I like to drink.

And so I'm challenging myself to not drink for a month. And so if you're like, I am challenging myself to not drink for a month, but I'm going to interact with this bottle of vodka. Yeah. Yeah, it's just going to be your best friend for the month. Rather than you drink it, it's just your best friend. You just do a bunch of arts and crafts with it. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, man, Martha Stewart. She is our moral compass. I'll do that with my tequila shorthy. I start calling it my shorthy. I'll put it in the passenger seat of my car and be like, that's just my shorthy. When the cops tell you you're not allowed to have an open bottle of tequila in the passenger seat of your car, You say that's not alcohol, that's my friend. That's my friend.

There you go. And then I start to cry. Yeah, what is it happening? What? Jeez, Louise. You call a woman a slug and it ruins her lie. I don't even understand. I was just a regular low-key jape and now it's taking her on a downward spiral.

Speaking of ruining your life, Kanye got married again. So we're going to talk about it? The fact that he got married to someone that looks just like him, Kurdishia. the fact that they had a secret wedding and of course my main question is why? He's in a manic episode.

Oh, not so much for him, I guess for her. My question was more for her. She is an architectural designer for Yee's brand Yeezy and so she works for him. Yeah, that can be a problem. But this is a picture of Kim Kardashian

in the article, right? In the article, yes. Okay, I was about to say, I'm like, wow, she looks fucking exactly. Okay, Bianca Sensori. Yes, if you look up Bianca Sensori, you will also see that she does look very similar to Kim Kardashian. And they are, right? Oh, yeah, no, very, very attractive young woman.

Yeah, for sure. I can see the appeal. But I do think it is, of all of the things, I think it's interesting that they don't point out the fact that she works for him and how that is a copy. compromising situation. But they do, of course, are just like, the headlines are very spectacle about like, she looks just like him. I was like, that's what we're focusing on here. Yeah, I like how there was like extensive and, you know, meaningful, worthwhile, I think, discourse around the power dynamics of dating somebody who works for you after like the try guys thing. And then with Kanye, it's like, you know what, that's actually the least of our problems.

Yeah, exactly. It's like. That's not even worth interrogating because how about the fact that he's a Nazi now, you know, there's just bigger problems. Yeah, and that she would support that sort of thing or what have you. Yeah, that's rough. There is, I think that's the constant praising of Hitler and criticism of Jewish people that is overshadowing, perhaps coercive work place relationship happening. Who gives a fuck? But did you notice she looks like Kim Kardashian?

I don't know if you did. I mean, good for her. Not that many people look exactly like in Kardashian. Just want to thought out there too. Run away. It's a good number. It's a good song. It's true. I don't get.

Who knows? I was hoping that he was getting the help he's so needed because he went. No, he got married instead. We had a couple of quiet days there. Yeah, we had some quiet days there. Without any praise of Hitler. In between, yeah, we got to talk about Prince Harry's Todger. Oh, my God.

Plenty of Todger talk. Can we talk more about that clip I sent you guys where he's talking about thinking about his mother? Oh, my God. There is a clip from Sparder. Bear and it's essentially, so Prince Harry did the audiobook as well. So it's a clip of him doing the audio book talking about moisturizer for his tawger. Yeah, there was like a cream he was putting on, but it was the type of cream that Princess Diana used to use. Why was he talking about that?

Because he would be when he was talking about his frostbitten penis. Oh, it was all lumped in. So he had to put creams on it. Yeah, he had to put creams all over. Why did he need to share any of that? Why is he sharing that? It's his memoir. He's the spare. It's Aaron a spare.

You know what? I feel bad for him. No, I actually do feel bad because if that's like so one of the more interesting things your life so much so that you have to put it in your memoir, you actually have had a very boring, dumb life. Yeah. I mean, you're looking across Antarctica. That is still pretty interesting. If he expounded on that a little bit more, maybe I'd be interested.

But no, he keeps talking just about how his dick got really. cold one day. He's like, I killed 25 people, no regrets. And I'm cool with that. Also, my dick almost fell off. And I'm obsessed with it. I had to put a cream on it that smelled like my mother's lips. Why is that in there at all? I put it on my dodger and I thought about my mother. It is incredible. You listen to this clip from the audiobook and it sounds like a parody. He's pushing me to the royal family. I'm like starting to sympathize with the royal family. Yeah, yeah. You got your pro-colonialism. Yeah, yeah. Shut it down.

Shut that in. You know what? Keep taking countries. Yeah. In your own. Stop that boy. I know. Harry is out of control.

I started off pro-Herry when I started the Netflix thing. Or maybe Megan would have stepped in. And now I don't trust her as much because she should have also stepped in like, Harry, no one wants that. The Todger chapter.

Why? Why is it in there? I bet that she was reading every part of it as it came in and giving me. That is a tightly managed. She was right in his hair. And then you want to talk about this. Talk about your todger more.

Yeah. Talk about your mother's lips. The todger more. Yeah. Maybe she is fucked and evil. Do you ever think about your mother's lips when you're looking at your penis? Yeah, I do. She's in town right now.

Okay. I know. That's why I was like wondering, do you think about what her lips smell like and think about your penis? Jackie. I'm sorry I called you a slug. I was going to say, I think now you get to. to call her another name.

Exactly. What? I am asking, I am a journalist. Yeah, that is a legitimate question. Yeah, you're also an old bag of meat. No. Yeah. And a slug.

I'm a fresh bag of meat. Do you think about your mom's pussy when you're eating lettuce? You know, is it but a lettuce? Turns out of what kind of lettuce? How spicy is it? Is it an arugula? I don't know. You should be upset.

Oh, my God. You should be upset. Get crazy. Get out. Man, we watch Thursday Shore every Thursday over on our Patreon. Please check it out.

Patreon.com. slash page to have a podcast. Every week, man. It doesn't. It never fails. Jeff is like, I've never watched Jersey Shore before. I've never heard the theme song before. But just hearing the one side of me going,

get crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And we don't even know the lyrics. That's the fun part, too. We don't even really know the lyrics, too. I know. I know.

I do some crazy. I know. Yeah, I feel like I've spent a lot of years of my life trying to cut down on my use of the word crazy, but then this, the Jersey Shorts song just has me walking around every few hours. I just go, do something crazy. Especially when I am thinking about, like, physically attacking someone on the street, you know what I mean? Or committing some kind of crime, like, cutting a tire on a car or something like that. I just do something like that.

I just do something crazy. man. Yeah, when you're out with Winnie, you just start slashing tires. No, she's like, do crimes, do crimes, motherfucker. Oh, God, you'll be the no-ho slasher. Yeah, oh, wow. But don't slash butts. Like, remember when there was the butt slasher in New York? Yeah, the butt slicer in New York.

In LA, we don't have butt slicers, MJ. Wow. So maybe come out here where we don't slice butts. Butts. Butts open. Wait, did butt slicer happen when, in our lifetime? Yes. In our life didn't know. It was a colonial era.

Yeah. The historic butt slicer of the 1920s. His tager was hard as the dickens and he sliced ass asses in the subway. Wow. Yeah. It was horrible. I was genuinely scared of getting my butt slashed. It was our summer of Sam, you know what I mean?

It was summer of butt slice. I think we talked about it on roundtable a lot. I'm pretty sure. I don't think we ever talked about it on page. It's an old one. That's a deep cut. I think I might have not been reading enough New York Post at the time to be Right.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, it was years later, we would have talked about a page sub. It was years later, we found out it was indeed Alec Baldwin. Back when he was like, I used to go to the upper. I used to slice but holes with my blade. I have kids. I'm happy with my many, many kids.

We have a laria to think for the butt slice. They're no longer terrorizing New York. He's too busy raising all those kids. Dude, every time I think about having another kid, I just immediately, Alec Baldwin, I used to go. No, bro, but I like this. The reality I'm in. Well, I will say, Hilaria walked so Gwen Stefani could run.

Wow. And this is quite a story that I am so surprised by the Yahoo article. Yes, I'm talking about Gwen Stefani saying multiple times in a current interview that she is Japanese. Over and over, she said it. I am Japanese. She said, my God, I'm Japanese. She also said, I am. I am.

I really am Japanese. And she also in the same... She's not. She's not. And also what? My God, I'm Japanese and I didn't know it. Well, Gwen Savani's father, who is an Italian-American, worked in marketing for Yamaha motorcycles. So not Japanese.

It makes me think of, it is the same. Eladia, where she loves, so, like, Gwen Savani loves Japanese culture. She even says, that was my Japanese influence. and that was a culture. It's a culture so rich with tradition, yet so futuristic, with so much attention to art and detail and discipline. And it was fascinating to me. I understand that. All great.

You're doing great. All these inspirations I completely understand. But then she literally says, my God, I'm Japanese. And I didn't know it. If you had stopped right before you said that. Or you knew that you weren't. And that's what you knew. My God, I'm Japanese.

Wait, no, I'm not. I just like Japanese culture. That would have been fine to say, perhaps. Sure. And Gwen Stefani. you know, famously in 2004, released her album Love Angel Music Baby, which featured the song Harajuku Girls. And she hired Japanese and Japanese American backup dancers named Love Angel Music and Baby as part of

the album's promotion. This was a big, this was an issue in 2004. Like, it was definitely like the beginnings of people being like, oh. Yeah, when even in 2004, people were like, I'm not sure if we care about racism, but maybe we do. But maybe we could care about racism. And now I'm just more surprised. by the fact that, you know, we love reading the Yahoo comments.

I'm scared at it right out. And the Yahoo comments, I was shocked. Not that I'm... You shouldn't me. Think about who would ever fucking write comments in Yahoo News articles. Yeah, man. Think about the kind of person. You know what I guess?

But you know what I bet they also love to do? Be on Facebook. Yeah. Because they're old, like, boomer moron likes. You know what I mean? I do love this comment from Wise, though. She is a fan of ska. So yes, she likes many cultures.

What even? We say that about MJ all the time. Yes, as a fan of Scott, I can confirm that I also like many cultures. But many cultures, I wouldn't call it a culture. Culture appreciation and the thing. It's normal. I will say this. I wouldn't say I would get, should get outraged to ever something like this, but you just point and you go, ha, ha, ha.

That's the thing. You just. You're stupid. Yes. And I think sometimes when people talk about cancel culture, they're like, what now I can't like Gwen Stefani? No, we can just say, Gwen Stefani is not Japanese. Gwen Stefani just isn't Japanese.

You're just not Japanese. You don't even really do any. You just go on liking her if you want, whatever. In fact, I see none of the cultural influence on you at all. Yeah, I didn't even know that she was such a fan of that. Which I got identified with the culture. I'd also, to be fair, I'm not that, like, I don't listen to current Gwen Stefani music. I don't know a lot about her.

Is she still married to Blake Shelton? is still married to Blake Shelton. I do know that about her, and they're very, very happy. And she wears a lot of camouflage now. So maybe she also identifies as a hunter or the hunted. She's a fan of a lot of cultures. Skah, Japan. Hunting.

Camouflage, man. And I think that that, but she, you know what? She appropriated that when she started married, when she married Blake Shelton. Yeah. She's appropriating being a hunter. Yeah. You know, maybe she's appropriating country music culture as a Sky. Whatever.

This is, it's like... No, no, but the funny thing, too, is... It's the outrage culture is really what is in these comments. Because, like, who is, who is saying they're mad at her even? Is the article saying people are, like, super mad at her? Because in the... You would think that in the comments, it's like, appropriation, everyone's screaming about it. It's not even a thing.

It's like, nobody... No, they're not. Yeah, right. Turn the TV off. It's fine. They keep telling you to be mad. Turn it off. It's fine.

Go outside. Stephanie from you. No one cares. We think it's funny. Yeah. And we think Hilaria is a funny idiot. And we're going to make fun of her. And that's all it is.

We're not trying to stop you. There's literally some people like, do I need a licensee eat sushi? Do I need a licensee? I really like to. There's literally a comment in there. There's literally a comment you're saying that. Oh, my God.

No, moron, but it's dumb to say you're a thing you're not. Yeah. It's like me saying I'm a fish. I'm a gold. You kind of look like one. I mean, Jackie is a slugs. I'm a slugs. So I know a goldfish when I see a good thing.

All right. Well, I'll stay away from Tom Crispy. Night of me. Yay. So put his cock in me. Oh, no. Yeah. In your gills or in your mouth.

This is still up for debate. You can be the one to find out. What would you guys go gill or mouth? I'd go gill. Because I'd like to see my penis. out of the mouth. I'm like, oh, surprise. Wait, are you asking if you're a fish?

Which one do you want to get? No, no, no. If you get your tough fruits. Okay, now we're talking about. If I am the fish, I want to be mouthfuck. Yeah. But if I'm fucking a fish, I want to fuck the gilful. What about you?

Grant, I can't wait to get the email and said, I can't believe Holden forced his co-host, his poor, powerless co-host, to answer such a question. To answer this question? Yeah, I'm right. I got the same answer as you. You're right.

If you're the fish, you got to go mouth. But if you're the Tom Cruise, you got to go. You got to go. It's the ultimate. Tight. Yeah, it's the ultimate. It's like a Buddhist cone. You know what I mean?

It's like a bit of a titty fuck situation. Right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. If you're going. Well, she did also, Prince ofani did also say, I'm a little bit of an orange county girl,

a little bit of a Japanese girl, and a little bit of an English girl. Oh, but is she an island girl? And of course, nobody cares if you appropriate British culture if you're away. Dude, it's like, well, okay, whatever. Okay, sure. This is, I am Greek. So according to cultural appropriation rules, us Greeks should be the only ones to compete in the Olympics.

Oh my God. The only ones to vote in democratic elections. Oh, my God, winning. What planet do you live in? That was, first of all, you're still in four years ago. Second of all, men stormy building. It's your fault. Third of all, we don't act.

No one cares. And then Brian, that was Mercedes. And then underneath it Brian wrote, plus Greek yogurt. Yeah, that's true. They're only, only they can have, that's what we're saying. Brian is yes-handed Mercedes. By laughing at this dumb idiot saying they're a thing they're not, that's what we're saying. We're saying we're coming after your Greek yogurt.

You fucking swine. Only Greek people can eat Greek yogurt. Who said that? That is the most Fox News like point-to-point logic. Yeah. It is like, dude, get, turn it off. Yeah. Turn the TV off.

It's over. I mean, I, you know, I guess every time I hear about Gwen Stefani in the news, like I said, I'm like, oh, you still married to Blake Shelton. Like, how are you doing? I'm not really sure what her music is like right now. She's been a nice, it's been nice to watch her age and change as an artist, whatever the fuck. And so this is just one of those things where it's like, what are you saying, man? I don't really have any bones in this game one way or the other. I don't care whether Gwen Stefani has good politics.

If she says something like this, it's worth saying you're not Japanese. Don't say that. And I just can't imagine getting so upset about it. Yeah, it's so true. The people love to be like, people who think cancel culture is a thing are like, oh, everyone's so outraged. And it's like, you're the one. You are the one who is mad.

You're outraged. We're calmly just being like, that's fucking stupid. That's dumb. I don't want men to storm a building again. So yeah, I'm a little upset about that little tidbit of what you guys are doing over there. I'd really prefer we, you know, not kill a woman. You know what I mean?

In a building that you stormed. Yeah. I'd love that to stop. But am I outraged that Quizabai says she's Japanese? No, that's stupid. But are you outraged about the fact that the chain smokers have had three sums before?

Wow. This is another one of these headlines. It's been everywhere. The chain smokers admit to having threesomes. Are they, is it consensual? I truly don't understand why this is news. Yeah, it's like, yeah. Lots of people have threesomes.

They're a band. They had sex on tour. That's a headline, really? Yeah, but they had sex together with another person. Who cares? Yeah, that's fine. I think it's like, mausel. Everybody having a fun time?

Is the coverage of this? Is it like, oh, it's a little gay that they did that? Like, is that the, is that? I don't know. It's a little gay. Because I feel like that's a little bit of what the workup is. These two men had sex together with a woman. That doesn't necessarily mean it was that gay. Maybe it was.

It makes a lot of sense that, you know, if they're a room and, I mean, wait, but actually, wait a second. Because they shared hotel rooms. But why were they sharing hotel rooms? That's when they didn't have enough as much money. This is before. I mean, we share hotel rooms. I know we do. But we're...

I did immediately. It was like, MJ. Right. Come on, MJ. Crazy. Yeah. Wow. It is.

Well, we have talked frequently the four of us on this tour about how grateful we are that all four of us on this tour are partnered. Yeah. And none of us are looking for that strange. It would suck to. I mean, I'm happy for people who go on tour and bang. That's fine. I'm happy for the chain smokers in their threesomes. But it would suck to be on tour.

And I think it would suck if I was trying to make out with people and it would suck if you guys were trying to make out with people. And I am happy for the chainsmokers. but at the same time, it's so much more complicated now than it used to be. You can't even just go on Torn Bank because honestly, at the end of the day, there's some wielding of a power dynamic and it gets icky potentially, right? Yeah, no, it's true. Like, I think that it's like, tale is oldest time band members to fuck, but also tail as as old as time band members being creepy when you talk.

So you got to be careful, man. So you got to sit him down, but like, all right, let's establish, I, you see me up on the stage. That does not make us not equals. when we, when I'm plugging, it is equality of a plugging. Yes. Yeah, I don't know what I do. I just, I'm glad I don't have to do with it.

I just love that he says, it was also the days when we used to have to share hotel rooms. In Europe, they have the two beds. They don't even split them apart. So it's almost by force that we were forced into these scenarios. That's not a good thing to say. Anytime the word force comes up, you're going to want to pause there. I wish you were the interview. For all these interviews, I wish you were the,

interviewer of Jay. So funny. If somebody is fucking in the same room as you, much less in the same bed as you, that doesn't mean that you want to join in. And in fact, usually it means you don't want to join it. I love what Ginny said. I hope the fans got to face the hot one. I see, that's the thing.

You say there's a hot one. Is there a hot one? I kind of think they both look the same. They look exactly the same. Are they brothers? So that's all things that this is part of. this is that a lot of people think that, so like, a part of this narrative that I saw in some other headlines that were just like, and sometimes people thought they were brothers.

But they're not brothers. Wouldn't that have been scandalous? But they're not. Okay. So if they were brothers and they were having threysms together, that would be noteworthy. Yes. Yeah, I always talk about that how, like, I remember back when Playboy was huge, they, when I was younger and, like, really into that sort of thing, they made a big deal about

these. Or chainsmokers? No, they made a big deal about these triensomes. No, no, just Playboy. They made a big deal about these triplets that would do these nude photo shoots together. And looking back, it's like, ew. Yeah. What are we, what's the fantasy here?

I don't want, like, they're all hot and I'd love to have some sort of relations with them, you know what I mean? Of a sexual nature, you know what I mean? Maybe some piss play, you know what I mean? But all separately in different rooms. But separate because I don't want them to watch their sister get fucked. Especially by some overweight, disgusting guy with a beard, you know, sweating it. Oh, my God. You imagine how much I'd be sweating

and that's, oh, just sweating all over them. There are so many girls. You know what I... You know what I... You know what I like? Sometimes on Instagram, you'll find, like, a pair of identical twins who has married another pair of identical twins.

And then the mind wander. You're like, how does that work? Right? They got a swap-seys. How does that even work? Why not? What is there to lose? I'd have a hard time being with...

Like, not as a twin being with one of a twin would also just be like so jarring. How do you, I mean, I'm sure quickly you go, I can tell the difference, probably. But from the outside, you're like, doesn't you just feel like there's two of them and like you're just not with one of the two? That's why you guys have to watch Extreme Sisters on Discovery Plus. Yeah. There's multiple twin, like, there's twin twins that married identical, like identical twins that also had kids at the same time. And the cousins are genetically siblings. So it is.

So they all like live together and stuff like that extreme sisters. I think that's fun. I like that. It's fun for sure. That's fun. Although I feel like if I had a twin, I'd probably want to do it. Like isn't that I would assume it's a twin fantasy or it's the opposite of it? I feel like if you were a twin, you either like definitely want that or something that was like, wouldn't that be so cute? Or you're just like, I'd rather puke myself to that. Well, you remember married at first sight when the twin is like, well, my twin is married and has a kid, and so I need to be married and have a kid.

You know, I imagine that there's a lot of like even more comparison than with a regular sibling. Oh, me, and the second season of Extreme Sisters is about to come out. Wow. Oh, my God, she's coming. That's not what I sound like. I go, yo, yo, yo, y'i, y'a, y'a. You sound like a skeleton laughing? Oh, there goes Jackie.

Well, I guess she... Mission accomplished. Yeah, I did what I needed to do. Poor Jeff. Poor Jeff. I did what was necessary just now. I heard the skeleton laugh. Yep, you did it, man.

You asked for it and you got it. But there's lots of things that we're getting now. And I guess, you know what? Yes, I am going to talk about moon. Boots. Moon boots are coming back, y'all. Wow. Were they ever gone?

Yeah, I guess they were gone. I think they were gone for a while because I heard tale that we, okay, so I've been dallying with possibly getting Crocs to go with my bucket hat. So I've been dallying. Yes, it might be Crox 2023 for Jackie. But then I heard. You start sending her the crock memes instead of only me. Does you love a people just decide that you are.

Send me every crock meme? And I do enjoy them all and you can keep them coming. But yes, they have decided I'm a fucking crox ambassador. Just because my husband ordered the wrong size crox and gave them to me, I suddenly love Crocs. It's a lie. But go ahead, Jackie. But apparently what recently happened is that Crocs was partnered with RuPaul's DragCon in UK. And quietly, they have pulled their collaboration with them because of a lot of blow.

that Crocs were supporting RuPaul's DragCon. Oh my God. So we're mad at Crox. I guess. So this is the new conversation of like Crocs as being a flip-flopper and kind of shitty and shady and shady. Wow, they're not flip-flops the Crocs.

Yeah. All right, people. You fucking slug. You slug. I'm a slug. I'm a slug-ass. Thank you. Thank you.

And the slug-us. Yeah, I don't know any of the details about this. If Crocs truly did pull out of DragCon because they don't want to be associated with the controversy around drag right now, that is, I think, a cowardly move. But also, I don't expect a lot of bravery from Crocs, you know? Yes. They're a crock. I don't need that. Of shit.

Yes. I just think that, yeah, it's so weird to actually feel embroiled slightly in that controversy too just because, like, I took Winnie to drag on. I want everybody to do everything they can to support drag queen. So stupid. Yeah. It's so dumb. Yeah. Like the fact that drag is under so much attack right now, actually, that's, I truly believe

we need to mobilize in support of drag because it represents, it taps into all the, like, the transphobic attacks and all this stuff that actually is so important right now. And so I feel like Crocs, I put this, try to fit Crocs into this. It's just like, whatever, we don't need to talk about Crocs in relation to the attacks on. Well, specifically. Which is why I think they are pulling out because of like the hatred that they were getting because I guess specifically they were sponsoring a kids fashion show where kids were allowed to dress up, you know, with parents' permission. Sure. And being a drag show.

Fantastic. At the drag con, which is fucking unbelievable and amazing. Awesome kids. My kid would love that. Oh my God. Your kids would fucking love that. My kid is a drag queen. Like she is like she loves it.

But so that was a big. issue that of course because everybody's like, oh, the groomers, they're making the kids be the drag. Listen, if I have to collect all the crocs in my home and discard them, I will. I will do that.

That's what I'm saying, do I get into moon boots instead? I feel like you're just looking for an excuse to get rid of all the crocs. Should I do? Because you're tired of the preemptive measure. You're tired of the memes and the... Collect all the crocs. And then, well, at least you didn't recently do an episode

on Furbies because that's all I'm getting these days, just horrifying furby. MIMs. Oh, I'll bet that's why. Oh, man, I should show you the bag that Henry got for me of a repurposed Furby. Yeah. Like an extended out. Long Furby.

No, that's a whole, it's a whole internet subculture of the Long Furby. Oh, yeah, man. I got a purse now. And you can barely fit anything inside of it. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the purse. Terrify the public. Yes. And go, look at my long Furby.

But I feel like, I think I'd look good in Moon Boots, but does it go with the Bucket Hat? Yes. And I think that if Crocs are comfortable, moon boots. must be even more comfortable. I don't think that they're L.A. kind of shoes, though. That's true. That's tough. Someone told me about flofers.

Well, yeah, let's do flof for 2023 because the flofer is a crock that looks like a boat shoe. Yeah, I just, I am scared of what we'll do because they do have fruit-scented flofers, and you know how against that I am. I'm pro-it. I'll get the fruit-scented flofers. And, you know, this way, we can assume that flofers supports drag. until we learn otherwise. So we can give them all of our money.

But then that's the thing though is that part of the reason why I wanted to get the crocs is I'm interested in the gibbets. Yeah. So can you put gibbets in a flover? It looks like you can shove a gibbet in there. Yeah. There's holes. Yeah, but it doesn't have the same boxy shape as a crock.

So can you, I don't know anything about gibbets. Do the gibbets rub against your bea-edies? I got a gibbet, and I couldn't even figure out how to get the gibbet into the fucking crock. I felt like a idiot. I could not figure out the gibbets. Gibbets were too advanced for me. So I want to order, I almost ordered those Margaritaville crocks, but they were sold out.

But I think I got to order Crocs with the gibbets pre-inserted. Interesting how you're like, oh, don't send me the memes and stuff, and you're ordering Margarita Crocs. I know. Well, you remember those Margaritaville Crocs. They were really good. They had a shot glass and a salt shaker. I want the chicken-scented ones.

Yeah. You don't want fruits and flofers, but you want chicken-scented crocs. You want chicken-scented anti-drag crocs and you don't want fruit-scented flofers. Get the flofers and we'll figure out a way to get some gibbets in there. And I'm going to figure out how to get you guys to hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Did Lindsay Lohan have a kiss stand in? What?

For falling for Christmas? Maybe. This one comes in from Aaron. my friend and I have a holiday tradition of watching Netflix holiday movies on Edibles. We are convinced this isn't just the Edibles talking. And by the way, you can hear us watch this movie on the podcast. For Christmas.

So good. Last night we watched the Netflix Lindsay Lohan Christmas vehicle falling for Christmas. We're chilling, having a great time, watching two actors with no chemistry fall for Christmas. And then into the movie, the conflict is resolved. They kiss. And then the most baffling editing ever. We're talking lens flares, multiple cuts,

and point of view changes, bold choices being made. We were so confused. We watched at least five times and came away convinced. That was not Lindsay Lohan kissing that dude from Glee. That gal had a kiss stand in. Why? Did Lins and Cord have drama? Did her new fiancé not want her kissing other men?

Was she just not available for reshoots in Utah? We'll never know. Oh. I mean, now I want to go back and watch the entire movie again. I know. Because I thought that they had pretty good chemistry, but maybe that was just my general fondness for Lindsay Lohan's comeback. It's on YouTube.

Let's see it. See the kiss? Is this the kiss? Yeah, because they don't kiss. And there is lens flares. What, yeah. Yeah, do you believe, Holder? It's weird.

And you don't see her face, like at all. There's so many cuts. It wouldn't surprise me because. you know, she probably has lots of expectations and demands for what she's willing to do. An actor must act, MJ. And if that means kissing or, you know, hugging a dog or what have you, an actor must perform truly the part. All right. Jackie is bringing it up for us so that we can actually assess this and see if we believe.

It's quick YouTube search. It's on there. They're kissing. Oh, yeah. That ain't her. Oh, yeah, that ain't her. Definitely. Yeah, right? Oh, my God, look at her face. Yeah.

Yeah. Not her. It's not her. It's not her. It's not her. It's not her. It's not her. And then, yes, when they

cut back to her where you can see her face and she moves it away. Yeah, she like moves it. Oh, my God. A hundred. I am absolutely. And then creepy Santa's just staring

at them off in the corner. The old man Santa that's in every hallmark movie. Oh, my God. They're right. Wow. What a great conspiracy. Yeah.

The question was posed and we have confirmed, yes, indeed. Yes, indeed. Wow. How do you feel about it? I feel released. I feel like what a bird must feel like when it's finally released from its cage.

Oh, my God, once it gets out of the egg. Oh, could you imagine getting out of an egg? Oh, beaking your way out, covered in your own sludge. As a slug woman, I can put it on. No, it must be hard. It must be like how when the baby comes out of the womb, they're like, oh, it's cold, you know. I'll bet it's nice.

I can't wait for those emails too. Jackie, it's not a slug. I'm a sluggist. Yeah, you're sluggstress. Yeah. Ooh, slugstress. That definitely sounds like that slug gets fucked. Oh, my God, dude, yeah.

Keep me away from Tom Cruise. While the husband slugs at home. You think that he would ever have sex with a slug? Tom? Yeah. I think if there was a slug inside the fish. Yeah, oh, there could be. Could be, too.

Yeah. I think fish eat slug. It's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Yay! Gotta have that list! The strange fates of iconic movie props! Did you know that the Jaws shark was found in a random junkyard?

Aw. The last shark made from Joe Alves's iconic mold languished for years before it was restored to hang over the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures, where it definitely won't seek revenge. Cracked! You crack me up! Should we go see the shark? Yeah, we can go see the shark if you want. You want to go hungover and just be like, yep, that's not sure.

There it is. That looks like a shark. That looks like a shark. But I, so. What happened to you? I would just like, I would be really creeped out if I found this little baby, like, in my father's room. You know what I mean?

I'm talking about the space odyssey star child. Yeah, what in the fuck? I'm on go for. Okay, she's lying at the rustling. She's getting upset about the list. I found a baby in my father's room. What is this? It's like

No one knows what you're talking about. It's like slugstress. Sad Y.A. novel or something. It's like an Angela's ashes or something. You're talking about space. Space Odyssey's star child. The star child from space honesty. Literally the baby in the uterus,

like the very end of 2000 space size. The iconic shot. The iconic shot. The baby went missing after filming wrapped. But it was found in the director's house four years after his death. Crucially, we're not talking about a real baby. We're talking about a prop baby.

Yeah, yeah. No, because if it was just a regular baby, I think that that would be. Yeah, there was a lot of things that should have been said right in the very beginning of this one. Before Jackie started talking, she should have been like, okay, first of all, we're not talking about a real baby. Yeah, this is, and it's a space odyssey. And then don't even stay in my father's room because what? That's not even in here. You're talking about if Stanley Kubrick was your father?

Like if Stanley Kubrick was my father and I'm like on the baby. Four years after he died. Yeah. Now I understand what you're saying. But that's Simon what necessarily happened. I don't know. His adult children had to clean out Stanley Kubrick's bedroom themselves. Oh, it's daddy's baby.

That's what I would have said if I found it. But I didn't find it. But I do know that James Bond's submarine car was sold for $100. That's it. It's a submarine and it's a car. It happened to be in a storage container. that some dude bought with no idea what was inside. Wow, one of those storage wars things.

One of those storage wars. Apparently, the original owners had stopped paying their rent in 1987. Good year. I always wanted to do one of those by a storage unit. Do you ever watch those shows? Do you watch storage wars at all? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Well, there was like a point in time where it was like always on and everyone loved it and was watching it.

So yes, back then, yes. Yeah. Since then, I have not thought about storage wars. No. And I actually did recently, because it was like a Reddit thread of like, what did people ruin for everybody or something like that when it got popular? And like, that was one of the things like this guy was like, well, I used to do it. And then like that show got popular. And then a bunch of idiots started showing up who didn't know what they were doing and like started just like bidding on storage units to try to like make it big and kind of ruined it.

Well, this is such a weirdly written one. If you think what I'm saying is weird, please cut to how this article was written. written. The Goni's map was probably thrown away by Patty Duke. Sean Astin made off with a bunch of props from the movie Goonies and then just left it all behind when he turned 18, at which point he thinks the map was accidentally thrown out by his mom. Who is Patty Duke for some reason? It is. Why are you saying who's Patty Duke for some reason? The reason is that she is his mother. I think that it's funny because we started the list segment. We started this show. I think 10 years ago now, right?

And 10 years ago on the internet, like lists were a constant thing, which was why we started the list as a segment. And now, 10 years later, lists just aren't really anything anymore. And we've read a list every week for the last 10 years. So we have read all the lists on the internet. But Jackie always finds a new one. But the lists are real sassy. You know, the lists now are like, because the people writing the list knows that most people

don't read these. No one's reading the list. I read these lists. Yeah, literally the top of it literally says Jackie, here are the strange dates of 15 iconic movie props. That was interesting. But it is kind of funny to be like a child star from the Goonies and so in your childhood bedroom you just have some

random props from the Goonies and then your mom Patty Duke has to be not your bedroom. For some reason. And then your mom has to be like, I'm not keeping this shit even though it's from the Goonies. Oh my God. There's a baby in my father's bedroom. Oh, God. Also, my father is Stanley Kubrick.

Also, my father's Stanley Kubrick, and it's from the film. And it's not real. I should have said all of that first. Yeah, well, Dorothy Gale's dress was found in a shoebox at a Catholic school. What? One of the dresses Judy Garland War was somehow given to a Washington, D.C. priest slash drama teacher. That's fun.

Who promptly lost it for decades. It was eventually found in the school. school's mail room. Wow. M-A-I-L. Yeah. That's one of sc. That's good.

Wait, wait. You're saying we have to differentiate. This is just a room where men sick. There might be in a Catholic school. That's true. A room for where the men get to go and sit. I don't know what happens over there. They do segregate sometimes.

Yes. The male room. I'm not talking about priests doing anything bad. I'm just saying that they gender segregate. I'm saying they do bad things. So do bad things. Historically, they absolutely do bad things. It wasn't a bad priest.

There you go. Yeah, well, Scarlett O'Hara's beloved estate was left to rot in some ladies' barn. Talking about Gone with the Wind, it was dismantled in 1960 and sold to a Georgia woman, though MGM tour guides kept telling tourists a similar looking house on their lot was the famous Tara, which feels vaguely metaphorical. The thing is, I'm, you know, so I'm doing like, I'm not doing dry January, but I'm doing, like, declutter January. and so I'm in a mode of like, what do I need to keep?

What kind of? Right. And do we really need to keep the set of Gone with the Wind? Obviously, I think museums are great and keeping important props and costumes and like all of that's like keep the fucking shark, whatever. But also like any kind of Muppet segment. Like if there's a Muppet section of a museum, yes.

A hundred percent. Keep them all. At some point you're going to and keep some shit from Gone with the Wind for sure. But at some point you've got to decide we don't need to keep this in. entire set from every movie ever made, right? Usually they do, or a lot of it gets repurposed and reused. Right. Yes.

For sure, for sure. And sometimes it just gets also abandoned in a storage unit like the original death star. That's a cool relic. You got to keep that. A storage employee salvaged it and displayed it in his mother's antique store where it was bought for a country Western bar who used it as a trash can. Oh, my God. That's actually so.

Sad. I don't want somebody to kick him. What the hell? Yeah, Gideon's flipping out right now. My husband is rolling in his grave, but he's still alive. Oh, my God. Get him out of that grave. He's charged and still. I think he's going, why am I in a grave?

I've been buried alive. Someone helped me. The dead star, he's screaming from the grave. We got to get him out. We got to get him out of the grave. And I've got to get better vision these days. I think my sights are going. That's right.

I think I'm going. Blind items. Oh, he can't see them. This one comes in from Veronica. By the way, the blind item site is still not updating. Oh, my God. I will be losing my mind soon. Send hold in your blinds if you got them.

Send me my blinds. Page 7podcast at gmail.com. Page the numeral seven. It's like a slant line and then you have a dash kind of at the top of it. Absolutely. Podcast at gmail.com. Yes. with blinds and celebrity conspiracies.

I'm hungry for them. Yum, numbed, numbing. Oh. Nummy, numby, numbs. Oh, just I think about your lips and then I think about your mother's lips. Why? Why?

Stop. Fine, and I'm eating some lettuce after this. Let me think about your mom's vagina. Yeah, butter lettuce because it's supple. Butter, what even is butter? Either way. It's like the nice, fresh light green. What we're talking about me?

A hard take over here. A hard take. Not a hot take. It's a hard take. I think butter lettuce is tough. Too soft. Really? Yeah.

Can't put enough ingredients on top of the butter lettuce. Wow. Hungover, hard take. That is a hard take. Butter lettuce is too soft. Are you sure you're not just eating wilted-ass butter lettuce, Jackie? Yeah, maybe you're eating shit butter lettuce. I just think it's too soft.

You tell me, you don't think, it's a hearty. It's not, no, it's not hardy. It's fragile and special. Yes, I mean, I used to get butter lettuce. Sure, if you're making a lettuce wrap? Yeah. Maybe I am. Tears. Maybe I am.

Making a lettuce wrap. Hard take. Jackie. Get used to it. That's my new tagline. Get used to it. 2023. Get used to it. Oh, come on. Can I not eat Indian food unless I'm India?

Oh, no. He's being the Yahoo! Commenters. No. Do I need a license? Yeah, we're going to have a license. We might make you have a license for the license. We might make you have a license for the fucking gun. you shouldn't have. It is a separate license

for Greek food too, by the way, so get your paperwork ready. If you're this mad about Gwen Stefani saying that she's Japanese and people being like, you're an idiot, then I don't want you to have a gun. I really would prefer you not have a gun, and I want you to stay away from buildings. Just in general, you shouldn't be able to stand

if you're that in those comments, I want you need a license to be able to stand within 20 feet of any building. Especially a government one. Because you're going to storm it, man. You're going to try to fucking bust through the gates. like an idiot. There's something documents in there. My license to eat Greek yogurt is in that building.

Hunter Biden's laptop has a license for Greek yogurt in there. Inside of that building. What a maniac, what are these people? They're maniacs. They're maniacs. This one comes up from Veronica. And Veronica says, I have a piece of info that might be good for a blind item.

I have to preface this by saying this is not a confirmed story. Just something told to me, which I unfortunately believe. I was heartbroken when I found out and apologize. Why? It's not that big of a deal. And apologize to those who may also experience emotional pain from this. I went on a Tinder date with this millionaire guy who was part of some royal family in Saudi Arabia and is really connected in the music business. He told me that allegedly this rock front man enjoys a certain kink called plating, which is where one person puts a glass plate over the other person's face and then shits on it.

What? Yeah, do what you want with that info, and I'm sorry I ruined your day. Okay, that does sound slightly devastating, depending on who it is. This rock and roll front man is also, he's a jack of many trades. He also wrote a popular comic book that turned into a TV show. Oh, from, I'm not okay. I guess I have to say yes, Jackie. I'm not okay.

Even though you didn't say a person's name. You didn't say, I don't even think you know the name of the, do you know the name of the band? But it's not okay, Gordon. It's the chain smokers. Yes. This the ugly one from the chain smokers. My hungover brain is just like, it's good Charlotte. It's not good Charlotte.

I know it's a three word name. My morning jacket. Similar to that. My chemical romance. Yes. My chemical romance. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Well, that's, you know, to each his own if he wants to shit on a plate. And little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet and ate her shit on a plate. No. Herds and. Shit on a plate. No. A plate way. Show me to go home.

Okay. Last name. There you have it. Wow. Gerard way. Thank you. And you looked it up. Yeah, you looked it up.

And you fucking watch you do it. I know his name. I do know his name. I please forgive me. I'm having a bad brain. Veronica, this is whatever. This is fine. Great move for that date guy to say that on a first date.

What a fun topic of conversation. First of all, yeah, it sounds like a fun date. And I love it. He's just a millionaire, royal family, Saudi Arabia. Also, that's actually, if anything, that's more polite than what other people would like to do with their shit on a person. And as long as it's, again, I mean, devastating if it wasn't, if it wasn't consensual. But as long as the other person's into it, then my chemical.

Or it says yes. I'm not saying. Maybe they might not be into it, but they might say yes. Sure. willing to try it. Also, I would say, man, if it's not consensual, that's tough to pull off. Yeah, right. No, let me just lay this plate.

No, no, no, don't worry about what I'm going to do with the plate. Well, yeah, so now you can think about that every time you listen to my chemical romance. That's slightly devastating if you don't want to think about that. I understand Veronica's devastation. There you go. But, man, sometimes you just got a shit on a plate. Yeah. There you have, ladies and gentlemen.

Your charred way, that's true, allegedly. And by the way, Little Miss Muffin's out of Tov eat her curds and way. Way. Yeah. I should know that one. No, I said way. Oh, you said way? Yeah.

Okay. I said way. I was trying to think of his name, though. I was trying to think of his first name. Oh, okay. Because I knew it wasn't like a normal name in my, in my stratosphere. Also, also, all due respect. I love my chemical romance, whizbrood, an episode on it, and that's what turned me into a fan.

And I love Umbrella Academy. And I think that you should also celebrate me the fact that I sang. one of the songs from the band. Right. So I did that. Yep. Thank you. Yeah, we should celebrate you.

Yeah, we should put on a parade for you. You can go up now. Yes, thank you. Thank you. I accept my celebration. Thank you both. I really appreciate it. I needed to be celebrated today.

You know, I don't usually ever say this, but poor Linda. Whoa, my mother. We're bringing my mother's lips into this. Wow. You and your mother and the mother's lips thing. I can't stop. Stop. That's why MJ brought it up.

I keep thinking about Mother's lips. The flow from Spare about him talking about how he put the same cream on his tager that his mother put on her lips. It is an astonishing clip of audio. You have to listen to it. I cannot believe that that is not a more like talked about factoid from his book. Yes.

It's the funniest thing. I mean, I haven't listened to the whole book and I will not listen to the whole book, but you have to find this audio clip because it is unbelievable. What editor was like, yeah, keep all of this in. Yeah. Keep all of this. Well, I'm sure they were like, hell, yeah. I'm sure they were like, this is awesome.

You're really going to talk about how you couldn't stop thinking about your mother's lips. Lips. And then you put it on your frostbitten dick. You put on your dodger, man. All right. Here's the last ones to today, okay? Well, there's one blind that got ruined last night, but it was kind of incredible. I kind of want to talk about it.

We can still talk about it. I can just not participate. A mask maker for the many famous around. It started again. Mask making. It's amazing historical approach to the world. I think it's like, I think we have to say like, this celebrity got a mask, got a professional Matt.

You know a movie I like? The Mask. That's a movie that many love. This mask was made for a celebrity that allowed them to speak to their own prosecution in a famous trial. Who was the celebrity? You are bad at writing your own blind items. You're saying that a celebrity got a mask, like the movie from mask, like mask, professionally made masks so that they could avoid talking to the front.

It's Johnny Depp. It's Johnny Depp. He got a mask made so that he could hide in plain sight. It's insane. Someone came to the show and did show us some of the masks that they have made before. some of the most unbelievable, realistic, creepy-ish shit masks I've ever seen. But they also have made a mask for Johnny Dip, which that's... If someone came up to me talking to me in obviously wearing a mask, but you don't know who the person is, I'd just be like, get away for me!

Yeah, it's terrifying. Get away from me. That's terrifying. That's terrifying. Because it was like these kind of hyper-realistic masks. So, tie-down, right? He's a great guy. He's like, I just see your lips underneath.

Tadap's a good guy, right? Does that have a drinking problem? We all love Johnny Depp, right? Innocent as hell. He's very innocent. It's my favorite thing about him. I love how innocent he is. Cronically violent man.

Nope. Not me. I mean him. So there you go. And no, hold on. Okay, hold on. Last one. If I can find it real quick.

Okay, got it. This comes in. from Betty. I'm literally not even through the episode yet, so this might come up again. We talked about this story before, but this gives a little more clarity. So it'll be like, do you remember when we talked about this? This A-List celebrity influencer won't publicly release their child's name because it references their partner's 2021 concert that ended in tragedy. Oh, my God. Astro World. Yes. Oh, my God. That makes so much sense now. It's Kylie Jenner. People suspect their son's name is Astro. And they

decided on it before the tragedy at Astrofest. It's unconfirmed, but it makes sense. Yes. That's sad. Yes. Oh, my God. What do you do at that point?

I would change the name. I change the name. I change the name. I change it. Astro is a cool name, too. But knowing the way that they've acted about this, they're clearly just like, well, just wait till like everyone forgets. Tell everyone stops caring about that.

That is really what it seems like their approach has been. It's like we had the face rubbing apology. video that was so weird and then they just backed away and then every now and you know like make an appearance of somebody else's show but they're just like they're just going to forget. They'll just forget because we have it so easy

and everything just works out for us so they're just going to eventually forget. Probably the people whose family members were killed will forget at some point and then we can just call our little boy Astro again. Oh my God. Our family members have killed other people and people have stopped talking about it eventually. I do like the name Astro. Yeah, Astro's a great name. Yeah.

But you'd really got to change it, y'all. Well, no, no, actually, the name is Festival Tragedy. Oh, yeah, Stampede is the middle name. Yeah, Festival Tragedy, Jenner. Yeah. Stampede Jenner. It's Stampede Scott. Sorry, that's dark.

And we already apologize, don't write in about it. Sorry. Sorry, we already said sorry about that joke. I'm sorry, it's my brain's problem. Yeah. I'm a shadow. I'm a shadow woman today. Hashtag slug problems.

Yeah, man, slug problems. We've got them. I've gotten them too. Yeah, I did. Get out. Get out. This is our hangover episode. Yeah, we haven't had a good hangover episode in a while, you know, but this was a really

fun one. I just want to say like, I want to be glad. I can't eat. what can I eat Gyros? Your Greek yogurt license will cover the gyros. Oh, good.

Okay, the Greek yogurt license the government's going to be. Do you notice how they won't even take the things that are murdering millions of people in this country every year? We're not taking that thing. You think we're going to make you be Indian to eat Indian food? You fucking, you know what I mean?

God. It hurts the brain. They get everything. They get everything they want. No, but hold on I. They get everything. My God, I'm Japanese. I really am.

I really am. And you don't want to be like, that's a dumb, that's dumb? You could have just stopped right before you said that and been fine. You just, you're an idiot. That's just a dumb, funny thing to say. And we can laugh as a, as a comedian. Hey, you know what? Also, we don't need to go, ah, it's appropriation!

Like, we don't, but who is doing that? No one does it. But Fox News just immediately goes, they're screaming appropriation the sheet. That they with blue hair on the streets going appropriation! They're taking my pronouns away and they're taking my sushi. Most of the internet really is just like

quenst of honey. Yeah, exactly. No one is like, no one's getting canceled. No one's, Jesus. No one's doing any of that. We just think it's stupid.

It's just stupid. How you say cucumber. Yeah. How you say cucumber? We're not like, It's not a very special episode of page seven when Hilaria did her thing. Well, I mean, it was because it was very funny. It was a very special.

But we didn't have to sit there and be like, guys, it's just serious. This is serious. Hilaria is not Spanish. And she's not. She's from Boston. In Boston. Thank you guys for joining us. This was a very special.

It was. Slugstrous episode. It was a very special episode because we're all in person together. That's right. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so scared. We're all going to do a bunch of caffeine pills.

Yeah. What she was on? Well, I desperately need to lose weight, so yes. No, don't do it. Don't do that. Oh, you're doing your poli cleanse. That's what the cleanse is for. That's what the cleanse is for.

And I'm excited for your cleanse later on today. Hopefully we won't be around you after your cleanse. Yeah, let's do that right before I say goodbye to you. Okay. All right. There you go. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for joining us today.

My name is Jackie Sbrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can also check us out over on the TikToks at page 7 LPN. And come hang out with me on Sundays and Wednesdays and Tuesdays over on Twitch. TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. Aw, shit is holding again. He's gonna be a friend unless he's the least favorite person on the show in your opinion. Everybody, please join me.

First of all, another special, I'm just high on the last couple shows and all of the shows in general. So I just want to also say thank you to everybody who's come out. Thank you to everybody who met us for the meet and greet thing after and said so many nice things.

And especially thank you the people who were too drunk to talk. You guys were hilarious. We had so much fun meeting you guys. We had so much fun on stage and so much fun meeting people. And we've been able to hang out and party with a bunch of people too,

which has been unbelievable. From our Twitch community, great segue. Twitch chat TV tito. We tried to beat, man. I'm Skytrious so I can. Scott Chiris so I can go hide to tie. Okay, all right, fine. I was offended.

Yeah, yeah, it was not appropriation. I am Scott Chirish. Um, dissent. By the way, so don't get outraged. Uh, by the way, Twitch.com. Tv. Holdenators. Ho, Twitch.

TV for slash Holdenators. So I'm streaming Monday through Friday when we're not on the road, which we're about to be fully off the road after next week. Check me out. Catch me in the dome, bro, hungover show. The longer you go, the less I have to say. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. Also check it out. We have a Patreon. Yeah, we've got a Patreon.

Come hang out over there. I'm back to putting out Ice Planet Barbarians every Monday. Weekly bonus episodes for Jackie and I talk about TV called Talk a TV. Jackie and MJ are starting to cook up their own side thing as well for Patreon bonus content. And we're burying the lead every time. Add free episodes over on the Patreon. If you don't want to hear the ad, sign up for Patreon. You can listen that way through there.

Yay. Yay. $5 a month. You can add free episodes and all the other content that we described. Chickapay, hey, Tay in the Wind. Hey, Tay in the Wind. My name is MJ. Yes.

And I'm MJ K-L Kat on Instagram. I just realized, just like Mr. Hollenzobe is that other weird movie I reference all the time that no one saw it makes no sense is now. We always, yes. Oh yes, no. That's the other one. Hey, Tay in the Wind.

Hey, Tay in the Wind. And it's time to sing the shout-out song. Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're gonna read them to you. Come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sending in your shout-outs.

And you can send in your own shout-outs to page seven podcast at gmail.com. That is page seven the number podcast at gmail.com. I personally read everything that is sent in, and it always puts a smile on my face, and I can never thank you guys enough. Because you know what, man, we all need some extra smiles in this land of plenty.

Yeah, I'm calling it a land of plenty, I guess. Land of plenty of thank yous for sending in your shoutouts. I love you guys. again, the email is page 7, podcast at gmail.com. You can send whatever you'd like. You can send selfies if you want. I mean, you don't have to. You can send pictures of hot dogs. I love looking at hot dogs. Anyway, it's time for our first shout-out because we have a new listener shout-out. Welcome to the Gunt family, Lisa. And Lisa says, my name is Lisa, and I'm a relatively new listener. I came to page 7 by way of radio dispatch, an absolute gem of

a podcast that MJ used to have with their brother. Sadly, radio dispatch is no more, although the Scooter Spirit lives on. I was missing the Neffles so much that I decided to start listening to page seven just to get my MJ fix. Now I am totally hooked on page seven. Y'all are hilarious and I look forward to your antics every week. Now the sad news, I live in Austin, and I was so excited to go to your show in person, but my daughter has school, has an event that night, so we'll be able to make it.

Don't worry, we're going to be hugging you in spirit, Lisa. I hope you feel our arms and MJ's arms around you. MJ, and don't worry, I did send this to them too, Lisa, but I am going to read it out because MJ always deserves more love. MJ, I listened to Radio Dispatch for like seven years, and I cannot tell you how influential it was to my political and personal development. I learned so much from you, John, and other guests over the years. I also have two kids, ages five and two, so I went through those brutal early parenting

years at a similar time period as you, and it was so helpful to do. hear you talk about your experiences. Oh, I'm actually tearing up writing this. That's how important it was to me. Thank you so much, Lisa, for writing in. And again, I just wanted to share a little bit of MJ Love. Always, you know, you can check out Radio Dispatch. I think you can still check out Radio Dispatch, right?

You can listen to the backlogs, I'm sure, because I know they did it for such a long time, and they absolutely miss it. Thank you so much, Lisa, for writing in. And now, we have a shout-out to a fellow shout-outer. This makes my heart explode. Not in a bad way, like in a good love way. Emily says, this is a shout out for Maude. For the last year, I have also been caring for my dad who has cirrhosis of the liver.

He's been hospitalized a few times from the ammonia flooding his brain, and he's also dealing with diabetes. I'm his caretaker, and in 10 days, he is finally going to an assisted living home where he can have full-time care and we can enjoy our time together again. Maude, I heard this after one of the hardest weeks and burst into tears. I feel so much less alone knowing someone else is sharing this experience. Thank you so much for talking about this part of your life openly.

It felt like something lifted from my shoulders. I love you, page seven. Thank you for the joy. And thank you, Emily, for sending in the joy right back to Maude. So much love to you both. Ah, oh my God, our community makes me so happy. And also, oh my God, Audrey, you know that I love, love, love a self-shout. This one goes out to you, Audrey.

I wanted to give myself a little self-shout before the start of my next school semester. I am 31 and dropped out of high school, so it's been a very long road. One that I thought would probably end before I actually got a degree. But no, I transferred to my dream university last semester, and I killed it, ending it with a 4.0. Oh, it's been hard work when it feels so good to be here. Also, I just needed to tell you that over my winter break, I made the insane decision, well, maybe it was more of a compulsion, to watch the entire Twilight movie series for the first time in my life over the course of three days. And unfortunately, I'm now obsessed.

Welcome to the Twy Baby Fold. Not a surprising outcome, I guess. But all that is just to say I'm going to go fully down that misty road, starting with your book club episodes. today and I'm already having the best time. I guess you could say I've been twy curious for a while and it was really just a matter of time. Thank you for being my guiding light during this

strange winter of my life. You make me feel so validated in exploring the wonderful things I deprived myself of as a too cool punk rock teenager. Love you. Thank you, Audrey. Thank you for saying that. Especially in my fuck it hat experience right now, I really

appreciate that because this is what being in your 30s is all about, man. Live like the teenager you always want. It doesn't matter what age you are. Live like the teenager you didn't get the chance to be. We should be doing that. Embrace yourself. Embrace your twy baby. Love

Audrey. And welcome to the fold. I love you guys so much. So much love. I'm sending everybody right now into your ears, into your brains. Have a smile. That smile that's on your face. It's from me. I love you so much. And I hope that you have a great week.

M-mm. This show. is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.