Page 7 - Ep. 479: [e-mail]

Episode Date: February 2, 2023

This week we're gossin' 'bout how Jackie can buy HERSELF flowers, a false conspiracy right off the bat, more news from thy Manor of MILF, the possibility of DILF Manor opening its doors to ensnare "barely legal brides", the soul crusher that is episode 3 of The Last of Us, MORE TOUR DATES??, the tragedy of M&M's not being boneable, the fallout from the Razzies nominating a child, Madonna needing her biopic to be GRITTY, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Is Hilaria faking the accent BECAUSE OF ALEC!? Da List, BLINDS and SHOUTZSZ! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Uh-oh, is she doing a mash-up of the two songs that are stuck in her head? Cut my life into pieces. I can buy myself flowers. Weird. Write my name in the sand. Weird. Suffocation. No breathing.

Don't give a what if I got my eye bleeding? I don't need you. I don't need you. You could curse in the show. Yeah, but I wanted to do like, I'm on the radio. You are on the radio of sorts. Yeah, I am on the radio of sorts. Of sorts.

So, yeah. Don't give a... You're on the thing that killed radio. Oh my God, I'm sorry. I killed the radio star. You killed the radio. No, technically video killed the radio star.

I did not do it. I had nothing to do with it. That happened first. That killed radio first. But also, I can buy my fucking self flowers, hold in. Come my self-plained. I don't need you. I don't need you, MJ.

I can buy myself flowers. You don't need Liam Hemsworth. You bastard? Oh, oh, by the way, did you see... I meant to fucking send you guys this. Can believe I didn't send you guys this. Newsflash. Do do do do. Do.

Oh. News flash. I hate. I don't know why I'm being sarcastic all this. I'm being sarcastic on her brother. Oh, news flash. Apparently Liam Hemsworth is now in a relationship or at least at the very at least dating Miley's dancer.

Like a dancer that used to dance with for Miley in her like an enrich. Yeah, look this up. What a bad. How crazy is... Wow, that actually makes me... So at first time it's like, oh, you're still rocking this relationship morning. Okay, here we go, flowers.

That's rough, dude. Did you pull it up? Well, Gabriella Brooks is their name, and I'm trying to see, I want more. Give me more information. But the dancer thing's right, right? I don't see dancer anymore, but I'm looking... Who is Gabriella Brooks?

Liam's Hemsworth's girlfriend. of over three years. They made their red carpet debut in November of 2022. They've been showing PDA. Okay, wait, this says bizarre theory emerges that Liam Hemsworth's girlfriend, Gabriella Brooks, was one smile at the site. She's back to dance.

Yeah, because it seems like she may just be a model. Uh, what? But I really enjoyed your pop... I mean, bizarre theories are your specialty holden. So, in my life... Reservice, yeah, maybe this actually, I should have saved this for conspiracy theory. Reservice images show a one.

resembling Brooks appearing on stage with Miley at Capitol FM's summertime ball in London in June 2014. Where the American pop star, hit me with a share. Do you believe it? Is Liam and Hemsworth's new G.F? You can't take it back now, y'all.

What are we? Two hops is top. Hopps. Take it back now, y'all. Uh-oh, I think I'm going. No. It is not the end of the episode. Go!

Stop. Oh, my God. So we. We can't even win digitally. We created this game. Holden, can I just say? I know Holden has said this before. Holden is amazing in green rooms.

If you are nervous about something, if you are like, if you are any way apprehensive, Holden is one of the best people to ever have around in your life. This is the nicest I'll ever be about. Thank you. Thank you.

Paradoxically, if you're upset, this upsetting man is a great person to have around. Yeah. If you're happy and you know, it though. Yes, oh no, it's horrible. I hate it when I'm happy around him. But I will say the reason why the three of us are such close friends is because MJ and I are

more often than not anxious about something. We're anxious. Usually, like, we're just usually making something up. So Holden is a really good, yes, you are a good grounding force. We had all this extra time and someone asked if we go to play a game. So I made up a game. Whenever I say the word G-O put together. it like guys grocery games.

When I say that word, the first person to say stop wins. And Jake had no part of it. Jake refused. He's like, I'm an oldest sibling. It's because he's the older brother and he was like, I don't, it's a classic older brother move for Jake to be like, I'm not even going

to participate in that. I will not debase myself. And the three, like, this show has such youngest sibling vibes. Like we talk about how we're like a sleepover and we talk about how we're like millennials and we're like pop culture for people who don't care about pop culture.

A tagline of this show could be three youngests. Because we are just three youngest siblings flailing about. And like, Jake was like, I won't play that game. And we were all like, stop, stop, stop. I lost every time. Of course, man. Because of course, I always lose. So I hate four games.

I don't know how I always win. I think that I'm just so primed with having, I think that maybe my older brother was more antagonizing. Yeah, we were debating on whose older brother was meaner as kids. Well, you're more competitive, just in general, Jackie. I'm just more competitive. You're more competitive than the two of us. Like, I always talk about this.

Like, I was talking about this last night even. I happened to play sports when I was in middle and high school and having to, like, pretend to be sad that we were losing and just watching all these, like, dumb other boys be like, man, complete. You know, it's like, oh, it's like, it's, like, it's, like, ruin their day. I'm like, dude, all I want is my Capri son and my orange slice, and I want to get in that call. right now and go home and shower and watch some motherfucking cartoons. I don't give a fuck about none of this shit.

I am also not competitive. I don't care that we're losing. But it makes you a bad teammate. Your other teammates hate you if you're not competitive because they're like, we're supposed to be upset. And I don't even play organized sports, but even like there was forever, I, you know, since I worked with kids, there was always like field days and sometimes it was like staff

team and like I was supposed to get all upset that we weren't winning at like some hilarious playground game you know called steal the bacon or whatever. And I was just like, well, I can't be upset about steal the bacon. It's not in my constitution. But that everyone else gets mad at you. But secretly, aren't you secretly actually upset or no?

Is there no actual upset? No, there's no, for me, there was no upset. So I have all the upset. This is the problem. This is my inerring problem. You would actually get upset if your team was losing. That's why I can't play the games. Now I just bow out.

Now I can't play. I took your advice for Christmas and got a board game that you said was beloved in your family, which is Pretty Pretty Princess. Because everybody wins, honestly. Yeah, that's the thing. It's a perfect game for my pretty, pretty princesses who love princess things. And it's you win. As you play, you get earrings and jewelry and necklaces and a crown and whatever.

But then I listened to Jackie and it was great. And I was like, this is so great. What a great game. And then Jackie's telling me how she and Henry used to play and just scream at each other, rip the crown off each other's heads. I was like, I can't believe you recommended this game to my family. Wild. Wild. Wild.

That's so funny to me. Yeah, and I had the... Oh, my God. Especially when you told me that Freddie was putting the earrings on her fingers because I remember Henry used to do that and be like,

put them back in the game. I think as you would play with them. Yes, I was like, the pretty pretty princess jewelry, you think you're going to be one type of parent and then you're another hippopoe pair. I thought it was going to be fun. A fun mom, like Amy Poller.

I'm not fun. I'm like, the pretty pretty princess jewelry stays in the pretty princess box. We do not play with the pretty pretty princess jewelry outside of playing the pretty pretty princess game. If we play with the princess jewelry outside of the box. It makes you want to drink a bottle of liquor and rob a bag. Like this authoritarian talk. So you just understand you're driving them to rebellion.

I try not to be an authoritarian about most things. The reason why the rules exist is because it makes the game fun. That's what I try to explain about like why we play. aren't we having that's what Bluey says. Bluey discovers why do they have

an episode where they're exploring we're playing this game. Why do we have to keep following the rules? And then they

come to the conclusion themselves. Wow, the rules exist because that's what makes the game fun. And so I try to bring that in

when we play games and say, you know, this is what's, it's okay to lose. It's, we have to follow the rules and if we don't like it, whatever.

But the reason you keep the frigging in the box is so that you can play again next time and the jewelry isn't all strewed about. But that's not what happened

when I was away, the jewelry came out of the box. Not only. Of course it did. Of course it did. The jewelry is lost. The jewelry is lost. Not only did I like not care about losing. I'd actually start feeling bad if I started winning for the other person that's losing.

Yes, I have that too. I'm like, oh no, I can lose if you want me to. And then that makes the competitive person even more upset. Even more upset. And that's the other thing too. It's like I don't want to see them crestfallen and sad. You know what I mean? Or I didn't like the other team feeling sad.

Yeah. You know, I also have that. That's the, sometimes the youngest, maybe that's more of a middle quality where you're like, I have to make everybody not upset. But sometimes the youngest takes on that role. Or the child of an alcoholic parent, interestingly enough. People pleasers, I think, also does that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, while you guys were talking about this, I started reading the casting call for Milf Manor because I opened up, I got click baited. And they're like, did the actual. moms and sons know they were going to the same place. They must have. I think they must absolutely have. They thought, okay, this was the cast that went out for the moms. Are you a single mom? Do you keep yourself fit and fabulous and enjoy dating much younger men?

A major network is casting a new relationship series about the growing trend of older women finding love with younger men. If you're a single mom and have a single son in his 20s that would like to help you find the right guy for you, sign up. Oh. So I don't think that they were. aware of the fact that the other moms were going to be trying to fuck their sons. Right. They thought that they were going to be helping them find love with other young men. I've been thinking about this because I keep thinking what at what point do you sign the contract and you're so fucked that you realize you're on Milf Manor and you can't back out of it?

Because surely that has happened. The fact that no one walked astounds me. I, I, that. You say that, but then you notice, okay, let's throw. throw out of Charlene here. I'm throwing out of Charlene. Let's talk about, we need to talk about Charlene. I think that Charlene definitely is like a, oh, I don't really want to do this because

it does seem like she has kind of, like she's not really thrown herself in it as much as the other women. And also, her child just died. She's carrying around a horrific burden of grief and she's on Miltz Manor. And watching her try to dance sexy with her son, I was like, all I could think of was, her daughter just died. Her daughter died less than a year ago. How is she sexy dancing with her magic Mike's son when her daughter died less than a year ago? How does she, I mean, she must cry herself to sleep. I know. But the son is doing his old college trying to try to cheer up his, talk about

people pleasing. I mean, this poor boy has such a burden on him. He's like, I'm an exotic dancer. My family just experienced this horrific tragedy and now we find ourselves on Milf Manor. And I'm just going to put a smile on my face and be along for the ride. I want both of them to go home and begin therapy. That will be my weekly call. Charlene, if you can hear me, leave the island. Leave the island. I mean, there must be some contractual obligations, right, where they can't just walk on. I mean, I guess you're always free to leave. It's not prison. But like, there must be something. A lot of times, like, that type of character sticks around, but they end up being, like, the moral support for other people. Yes.

I mean, I love Charlene, but now we found out that was one of the moms and sons are going home next week. I can't handle it. Wow. It'll probably be Charlene. It'll probably be Charlene. Do you guys like? My favorite thing about this week on Milf Manor is that they refer, when they're

like on dates and they're talking about like, oh, who do you like? Who do you get along with? That they refer to everyone as the mothers and the sons. The sons. That's my favorite thing to be on a date and be like, so how do you feel about the other sons? Yeah. But I do want to read out

I just want to say thank you so much to Shannon who sent in the casting call because it's not DILF's drive-ins, dive-ins and dives. That's real. There is a casting call for... DILF manner coming out. Are you a single father who has a daughter that's into daddies and are looking for a barely legal bride

to re-soke the fire in your loins? Oh, yes. And you should definitely reach out to us. Barely legal, MJ. At dating daughters at gmail. They say fairly legal. And everybody said, they were like, everyone was like, if the revolt, if the rolls reverse, it would be no, whatever. No.

That's what I was saying this whole time. I'm like, this only works because we are able to recognize that it is predatory for a man in his 50s to date a 20 year old woman in a way that we seem incapable of recognizing this as extremely inappropriate for a 20 year old boy. And apparently no, no, we're fine with that too. Over at the DILF Melf Enterpre. All right, well, I'm saying you enjoy not watching it. And I will, uh, I will enjoy watching it. We have to do it. It's for research. No, it's my job.

Yeah. I want, I want all of it. Can we watch the gay DILF show? Because the gay DILF show also looks fantastic. Oh, are you talking about the last of us? No. No. Oh my God. This, all right.

Holden and M.J. both didn't watch. the epic because you guys you guys haven't seen any of the last of us yes right zero no i'm watching are you the one season nine i'm watching milf manner i'm watching physical 100 i'm watching brain dead shit over here jackie i can't deal with these real feelings these days for the record i was for the record i was referencing the show for the love of dills hosted by story daniels which you also sent oh yes oh no we can talk about this show that we didn't even before i pivot into the sad one we can keep talking about the horn

Question Mark ones? I feel like there should be a genre of reality show that is horny question mark. Because I'm not horny for Milf Manor, but I'm sure that there are some people that are horny for Milf Manor. And that's you. I'm originally horny for Stephanie a little bit. Yeah, we have one milf who we are all horny for now. She's so hot. She's so hot.

Stephanie's very hot. She's really. And I'm horny for the 30-year-old son. Yes, but also she's only 46. Like, so she's not really like in my brain. Six years older than me. Yeah, I know, dude. How does that make you feel?

Like, I want to fuck that horny, filthy milk. Go after her, bro. That's what makes you feel. Oh, my God. The scene with Gabriel at the same, on the same date with his mother, and he kept just, like, throwing food and being all horrible. And she's like, isn't he funny? And I'm like, no. That guy is so annoying. I mean, they're all kids.

They're children. They act like children. That's why when I date Stephanie, I'll show up with a giant lollipop. I'll be like, hello, golf now. And I'll be like licking the lollipop. I like to sing little songs for you. Like, I'll do that or whatever. And hopefully Stephanie will give me a blowjob.

Yes, maybe. But I actually, I'm kind of interested in watching for the love of Dilfs. And yes, it is hosted by Stormy Daniels. And apparently it's on Out TV. And when we see two groups of game and daddies and hymboes compete to find love and win a $10,000 investment into their relationship, which that's heavy. That's a heavy thing to say you're going to win a $10,000 investment into your relationship.

Yeah. But I kind of want to watch this show. You got to put a down payment on a house or something? What does that mean? I guess. My only feeling about this with the all gay cast and everything like that, and maybe this is biased of me to say, but I just feel like the gay community is a lot less messy than like the milf and straight.

Like, are you the one and stuff like that? I feel, I don't know. I hope these DILFs and these Hymboes can keep the drama up. But I kind of have a feeling they're all just going to get along and it's going to be very sweet. That might be hard to get. The trailer is definitely, it is a hilarious contrast because the trailer for the love of Dilfs is just like not at all disturbing. It's just like incredibly sweet and charming. It's like, no, that's like it just looks like a great show.

It's like a bunch of older men being like, yeah, I like, you know, dating younger guys who have like a new perspective. and the younger guys are like, yeah, I really enjoy, like, the experience. Someone with the experience. It was just, like, not creepy at all. Yes. They're communicating. They're just, like, you know, doing the thing as they should. Like, healthy and loving.

Can they be messy enough? Can they be messy enough? That's why I want to get, I'm going to get out TV. And when Delph Manor comes out, I'm going to go episode for episode. I'm going to watch For the Love of Delphal's and I'm going to watch Delphanour. And we're going to show how much more toxic the other one is. heterosexuality. Yes.

Just in general. Of just the fact of like, can we all just be like on for the love of DILts? Yeah, yeah, for Love of Dills. It's just like, I enjoy spending time with you. I think we should make love. And then we cut over to Delf Mayor's like, oh, you like to lift these bricks.

Your son has a big cock. That was the thing movie on. Your son's hung like a horsey horse. And she's going to fuck that son with the mom in the bed right next to them. It doesn't even seem like she's that into him. I think that she just wants to fucking suck. She just wants to feel, oh, she's just that.

We're talking about Kelly on Milf Manor, by the way. We pivoted back to Milf Manor. She wants to feel young again so desperately. And she just thinks that this young. Put on a bucket hat. I'll call her on the phone as they put on a bucket hat. That's all you need. You're really going to convince her that she doesn't need a bunch of young stud dick and

in replacement of that. Put a bucket hat on her. Put a bucket hat. Is she allowed to still throat tequila? like all day like she does in the show. Man, it's just, it's hard to watch. It really hurts, it hurts, like, it makes the acid in my chest hurt. Yeah.

Wait, Jackie, I'm sorry, I interrupted you because you were going to tell us about a different show that is apparently slightly higher quality than Miltz Manor, which is the last of us. It was, um, it's one of the most, so we put on the episode because The Last of Us has been, it's great fucking show. Third episode in, we slap it on. I'm like, hell yeah. Oh, Nick Offerman's in this episode. Oh, that's awesome.

Oh, that's the dude from White Lotus, like the concierge dude from White Lotus. It was like, oh, that's fun. And it's the two of their, it's their love story. And it is one of the most beautiful episodes of television I think I've ever watched. And I had no idea what was going to happen. And by the end, Jeff and I were both sobbing. And I posted on Instagram and was like, everyone else cry into this episode right now? Because it came out of nowhere.

I had no idea. This isn't a sad show. Yeah, it is. I mean, it is a sad show, but like it hasn't been yet. Like, I thought it was going to take longer for it to be more sad. Oh, yeah, dude. Last was this very, very... I don't know anything about The Last of Us, so I'm going in blind.

To its characters. And apparently this character is a character in the video game, and they talk about his past, so they show what happens in, like, they have a whole episode about, his love story. I'm trying so desperately not to spoil anything. But it is, it's just so beautifully written. And I can't, I can't even start thinking about it because I'm gonna start to cry.

Would you say Offerman's character is like a total dillth? Wow. Watching the two of them. Yeah? Man, crying. Whoa. Because like that was part of me. I was just like, at one point when I had to pause it,

it was like, I'm getting so sad, but I'm also getting so turned on. That one part where they were like, ride it my pony Yeah that's really what it was you know post-apocalyptic Yeah it was a real just like Genuine fuck scene

Yeah dude it wasn't at all He was really beautiful Look what I could do He pulled out of magic eight ball Just started fucking the shit out of all this Eight ball juice is going out He's like fucking signs point to fuck I just needed to speak towards it

Because everyone on the internet Is a flame with this episode And if you watch the show Just to get to the third episode or if you've played the game and you know the story of it, just put on the third episode because it fleshes out a character that you need in the video. I'll tell you what, a double feature pairing. Third episode of Wednesday right after to clear the pallet.

You get the, clear the palette dance. That was the thing is we didn't know how to clear the palette afterwards. It was like, how do you, like, what, we were just, it was the last of the night and I was like, oh, it's going to be like a scary way to end the night. Well, you want to show that's like not like the other girls, Valma. Oof. Watch that one, huh? She hates herself and she knows she's in a TV show.

Guess what she also hates. The original property it was based on. Obviously. Are you guys doing an episode on Velma? Maybe we should do Scooby-Doo. Yeah, you got to, man. I don't think, what you mean? What's the Brewster we're going to do with the history of Velma?

No, no, no. I meant like Scooby-Doo and then talk about Velma. Yes, that I, Scooby-Doo episode. I didn't think I wanted to do one before, but maybe with this Velma show, I should at this point. I watched 15 minutes. it before I shut it off. Same. I'm at the 15 minute mark. I thought about finishing it last night.

And I was like, you know what? Nope. That's so freeing when you're like, I'm not going to watch this anymore. Why am I going to do this? Can't do this. I'm sorry, this isn't a talking TV episode. I just needed to bring up the Last of Us episode to try and convince you guys in between Milf Manor to watch the last of us.

I'm glad you did because I feel like something I really miss in like the streaming landscape is when everybody is talking about the exact same show. I think that kind of happens sometimes with succession. It kind of happens with White Lotus. But even that's within these micro communities. It's not like, I don't go to like a water cooler work. But if I did, I would assume not everybody's watching White Lotus. But maybe most people are, maybe half of the people are.

But I miss that like, wow, everyone's talking about this show, that collective experience. And when I logged on to the Twitter after that episode of The Last of Us, I had never seen like every, it felt like everyone I knew had just been obliterated emotionally by this episode and it was kind of excited. Kind of like when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, which is about a year

ago. Yeah, right. The last time we had a huge collective experience together. I don't know. Don't worry, darling, that was pretty much across the board. Yeah, yeah. You were all kind of vivid. Yes. That was a weird one too, though, because that wasn't like a touchstone moment. That was just this happening that just carried all throughout the year. Yeah, just like a rolling mess.

of hot goss. That was really, it was a snowball of hot goss. It just kept getting bigger and bigger. Man, I missed that. Olivia Wilde, make another fucking movie with the guy you're fucking and cheat on him or whatever. Make another salad dressing for us, Olivia.

Yeah, please, Olivia, we need a break. All we got right now is stupid the royals and whatever with Megan Markle. Yes, and Bill and Frank in The Last of Us. Oh, my God. And Paris Hilton having a newborn. Yes. Yes, she's sliving for it via surrogate. Paras Hilton is now a mother, and she released a picture of her very beautiful nails just wrapped her with a little tiny hand.

Can you imagine of like having a, like the, I guess, did you get your nails? No, you had Freddie by surprise. Did Lexi get her nails done before the baby? We were a little early too. Oh, okay. A lot of people do, they say like when I, Zelda was supposed to. to be a scheduled C-section, but she came a little early too, but everyone was like, scheduled C-section

is great, like, you go get your hair done, you get your nails done, you kind of like pamper yourself beforehand. Totally, yeah. No, that's what I thought we were going to do, and then it just, it just happened. That week was just taken. That week was taken. But it was provided as well with the baby that's so cute.

Yay! And now Paris Hilton is a mother, and I'm holding a scarier. How does it work, Jackie? Do you know the details like, did Paris Hilton egg goes into another person? I'm fairly sure because I know that they delivered via surrogate. So I'm not sure if it was her eggs that

that has not been revealed, that those personal details have not been revealed. Okay, that's kind of a private thing. I didn't know. I was just curious how it all works. You could go either either way with surrogate. You could use donor eggs or you could use your own eggs or I'm not sure if surrogate can also be the egg provider. Is it the nut of the man? Maybe. It could be. I don't know. It tends on male factor in for till I could go on and on about what makes a baby open.

So wait, you're telling me that a man sloply nut goes inside of a woman and all these little tadpoles swim to an egg. Yeah, like the beginning of these kids can talk. What is it? What's that movie where the kids look who's talking. These kids can talk. You know, the famous Rickerata still. These kids can't talk. Better name.

They really vary the leaves with the name. My favorite, my favorite is the fake family comedy in Seinfeld Sack Lunch, where they're all shrunk down to the size of a sack lunch. And she keeps watching, and Elaine keeps wanting to see that instead of the English patient. I just talked to some friends who are rewatching Seinfeld, and I really think that maybe I got to you watch Seinfeld. I watch Seinfeld every single day for probably five years when I lived at home in Dubuque, Iowa and had never met a person from New York City or a Jewish person, except for the one Jewish family that I knew. And so I feel like there is a lot of references that I might not have got. And also,

I was a kid and not an adult, and I had never dated. There was just so many factors about Seinfeld. I never dated. Like, what did I even get out of it? I don't know. I know. Yeah. You know. Yeah. You know. Because it's so wacky and silly and funny, and there's so many fun characters. I, I think it's, like, cool now to, like, not like Seinfeld. I fucking love Seinfeld.

Also, if you have a sick day and you're, you're wanting to binge something like that as well, go for Seinfeld all day, but also Frazier Dog. Yeah, and News Radio. And news radio, too. Oh, I mean, news radio is one of the best, yeah, ever. I would just for Phil Hartman, which, by the way, not to jump to celebrity conspiracy theories,

but just as a little Phil Hartman appreciation, moment that I meant to bring into the show. You mean everything about him that we need to appreciate every single day? Absolutely everything he ever did, including voice Troy McClure and that there, my friend who came to the live show in L.A., reminded me that there is an ongoing joke from Troy McClure about Toy McClure wanting to fuck fish. It is a conspiracy theory. I've actually gotten in before.

Maybe I need to go back and honor that one from a couple of people have written in about that. But yes, absolutely there definitely have been Lines strong. maybe in the sand, maybe in gravel. Connecting the dots between the Troy McClure, fish fucker running joke and our Tom Cruise. And I do want to thank everybody while we're here. I want to thank everybody for coming out to our live shows. We are definitely going to be getting more dates.

Looks like it. And I'm so excited. And thank you to everybody that came out and sang with us and screamed with us. I definitely had to take steroids after that Austin show so that I could get my voice back. And I've gotten my butt back finally from Austin because Austin took hold of our assholes and kept them hostage for days.

We all chat at least four times. You know I hate talking about this. You know what I hate talking about this. At least two out of three of us aren't like people who announce when we're going to leave the room to go take a dump. Like that's, it's not really. Can you guess which two of the three of us? Yeah, it was definitely like,

it was definitely fucking cool. Christmas with the clumps in the green room. It was rough. It was rough. We started the tour being friends who didn't share about RBMs with each other. And we ended the tour with an intimate knowledge because you just couldn't not. It was because we ate our way through Austin with a ferocity that you could only do when it's the last city of an extremely fun, wonderful tour.

Yeah. And also, you know, scream at us where we should play. I've definitely heard a lot of people saying Pittsburgh, we did put it for Boston. We did put in for Boston. I said people are being weird about us playing Boston. I don't know if that will translate, but I was like a bunch of people are being weird about us.

Nobody's being weird. I'm just, I don't hate Boston. I'm just scared of Boston. I'm scared everyone to know that of course we want to go to Boston. Of course we want to go to your city. We were not the ones who chose our cities where we ended up. Yeah.

And we won't choose the next ones. but we, of course, we say yes to everything. I definitely throughout Pacific Northwest, Southeast. Jackie's dying to perform in Florida multiple days. I'm hoping we get at least three or four. I can't perform in different towns. We should do a hometown tour, though. How fun would it be?

Yes. I would love to do Tallahassee. I know that'll never happen a million years, but I'd love to do that. Yes. Oh, also, be invanito am I. Sure, man. Bouncing in the city where they eat is on,

all night on the beach till the break of dawn. I'm going to Miami. Bienvenito ammi, ammi. Come a self-bladen. Whoa. Always pepper it in. They're taking away the M&Ms. Our fuckable M&Ms, we can't have them anymore.

They're taking them away. That's right. People have been really upset. Really weird old men have been very upset about how unsexy they made the green M&M. Because she has sneakers on. I still want to fuck a bitch in sneakers. Well, Kyle Harkis doesn't, Jackie, because. because it's not gender normant enough for Tucker Carlson to have a drink with the M&Ms.

He's upset because he's not getting hard for the candies anymore. What's next? A trans butterfinger? Is that what's next? A Vibin Butterfinger. Is that what we're really doing here? It's not what we're doing here. I think I saved his actual quote about the M&Ms, which is, M&Ms will not be, this is an actual quote from Tucker Carlson.

Eminems will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. until the moment you wouldn't want to have a drink with any one of them. That's the goal. When you're totally turned off, we've achieved equity, he added, speaking about the NNMs. A gay payday? What's next? It's a slippery slope. I guess they'll call them gay days, and that, honestly, I'm on board me.

I used to jerk off to 80% of the shit I saw on the TV. It's how I felt alive. And now my penis is weakened. Yes, that is it. So they are, it is too, they are too unsexy now and they are too woke because the candies have become woke. So now they're taking away the candies and Maya Rudolph is the spokesperson. I love it. I mean, this is obviously a Super Bowl ad.

She's, she's changing Eminemps to Ma and Yaz. Yes. It's very funny, man. I like it. You know how I don't like to admit that I like a commercial. It goes against everything that's inside me, but I like it. I just love that Eminem's is leaning into and lambasting this ridiculous thing. And at the same time, it makes me annoyed because then people are talking about Tucker Carlson, which I think is bad too, which is not ignore the little man with his little bow tie.

But it is fun to see a company finally like lean into something like this and make a big fat fuck you joke out of it as opposed to like just kind of moving forward. So it's great. It's like and I just, it is so funny. I really just points to what Fox News's bread and butter is lately. and is to take the most, like, dumb fuck common denominator, like a big Hollywood blockbuster or an ad campaign or something like that. It's just very dumb and obvious, but also, like, doesn't actually mean anything or matter, like, that there's a gay relationship in Buzz Light Year or that, you know,

the Little Mermaid's Black. It's just such a big, dumb, simple enough thing to communicate to dumb, fuck weird old dudes in their weird little homes that, like, the world's against the, them all of a sudden, quote unquote, to, like, create this bullshit war in their head. And it's like, dude, like, maybe if you're talking about actual policies and politics, you could maybe find, but, like, it's not in the Little Mermaid's house. It's not in Jim's house. It's not in the M&M's house.

That's not what's creating Antifa. Okay? So, like, making the, the Green M&M's tits smaller, right? He called one of the M&M's obese. There's a morbidly obese Eminem now holding. Unbelievable. There always was. There always was.

He's got a peanut inside of him. It's not the peanut. They added a new M&M that's like a size. It's a wild sexless thing. It's not the fact that you would have any, any. I'm happy because you know what? I think the purple one's the sexiest one. That's the one I want to fuck the most.

So thank you M&M's for giving me something to get. slick about while I'm eating my candies. Right. It's just... I look at that purple Eminem and go, oh, you a, ooh, you're a bad little, bad little girl, aren't you? And then I shrug it up real slow and then I tongue it around till I suck all the color off of it.

And now, now she, now which Eminem is it? I don't know. I eat her down. I eat her down. Well, mermaid's black. What in the hell? She ain't a wild world when. Yeah, well, the.

Razzie's nominated a child and now everybody's upset at the Razies. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's like, nothing's that serious. I think it's dumb that they did that. But also now everyone's like, the Razies is an institution is horrific. And she's like, all right, Twitter. That was how I was like, everything's horrible. I was like everything about this story is annoying.

Like it is, I totally agree. The Razies should not have done that. Don't make fun of a child. Even if you're not like a very powerful institution, you are like, like, institutions. shouldn't make fun of individual children. I completely agree. But then, yeah, the idea that, like, I don't know, any tweet that ends with, like, do better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my hold and annoyance thing. I'm like, stop telling me to do better. Do better is such a good one for the list of annoying eye-roly, like, canned phrases on Twitter. Do better, wazis. It's like, nah, you know, maybe we just, like, either don't, either don't take it too seriously or, like, let people have their fun. It's fun to shit on things sometimes.

It's okay. They're usually in pretty good spirits. I love that video of Hallie Berry accepting her Razzie is like one of my favorite things ever. Sandra Bullock accepting her Razzie and then the very next day getting an Academy Award for a different movie. She's hilarious. It's incredible. And also just so everyone's clear, it is the child that performed in the remake of Firestarter, 12-year-old Ryan Keira Armstrong. That is the child in question.

And she sucks. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Yeah. And then you read the comments and all the comments are like, the movie sucks. Right. It really doesn't do.

The takeaway from Razzis, given the fact that all these amazing actors and actresses have gotten them, I think is that it's an indictment of the movie and not necessarily the individual performance. Yeah, this is one of those things where I was like, man, we have lost the plot. Like this is just like a couple of steps beyond, above our, ahead of our skis, We don't really need to be spending too much time on this.

Everybody just loves to take their shitty life out on some. It's like, yeah, into the Razis, burn it to the ground, this thing that is a delight for something. We talked about the history of the Razies for pop history. We did. We had an whole episode of the Razies. It's silly. It's not to be taken seriously. I think the one thing that I could point out and be like, yeah, fuck you guys is like,

they've given Razis two kids before or nominated kids of Razis before, as stated in that article. and they didn't apologize for that or like anything like that and now all of a sudden there's this big statement like we did a total misstep this was so wrong as if it's the first time they ever did it it's like you guys have been doing this for years yeah for years dude you don't care

you're saying this too yeah the daughter and mommy dearest I think was the first one and I forget who the other one was but it's like you guys have nominated kids before you don't give a fuck but now we have to play this dumb internet charade they should have given the Razzies to the moment of mommy dearest when she's hitting her with the white hanger

because it's obviously a fake child. Hit that child. I think that's why she got the razzie. That's why I went from old school cinema. Now we have rules and regulations, but old school cinema was allowed to go there. Yes. Don't get the pillow.

Man, remember that scene? And then she's just go into town and then they show her little pillow butt. And she's just slapping the pillow butt, slapping the pillow butt, but it's definitely a pillow butt. To avoid some emails, here at page 7,

we do not contend beating a child in a Hollywood film. Unless she's got a mouth on her like that child and mommy dearest. She screamed, I'm not one of your fans. I'm sorry, I love that movie. I don't condone the beating of jokes. I, well, sometimes, you know, if they're being really shitty. Man, if they're looking at you sideways. Allegedly, I'm joking.

I have a kid, act. You guys have kids, you guys can't even make those dreams. I will never do that to Witty. But anyways, yeah, is that maybe because, like, do you connect to the trauma a little bit, or did your mom scream more wire hangers? No, but Joan Crawford was a friend. of the family, weirdly enough.

Weird. Because she married the president of Pepsi when my grandfather worked for Pepsi. Oh, wow. So, yeah, we're a Pepsi family. Get used to it. I'm a Coca-Cola boy, too. I fucking fuck Pepsi. I hate Pepsi.

Oh, you want to go, you want to throw it out? You want to go toe to toe to? I hate when they do the taste it. I can fucking pick out shitty Pepsi in a million years. Yeah, I love the cereal. I love that cereal be in it. Oh, like that Pepsi. that just came out that I loved about the Pepsi,

where's my jet? Where's my jet? Yes, loved it. Everybody thought that they would be able to identify Pepsi, and they couldn't all then. So we should have, I wish I had known that you could do this. No, for a fact. That's why I'm thinking about that,

because they kept failing. I was like, how do you feel? There's such different tastes. I can definitely tell the difference. But I am more of a Dr. Pepper boy, actually, if you really wouldn't get into it. You want to talk syrupy. We're talking Dr. Pepper, though.

Dr. Pepper is the only diet that actually tastes like the real thing, but I still just get the real thing. It's me, you know what I mean? I gotta keep it real. Because you're different. I keep it real. Put him on for the love of dupes. It's just so funny to be so out.

Maybe I'm just feeling this a lot lately. It's so funny to be that outraged about the dumb fuck razzies. Like, go outside. Yeah, man. You can't be that upset about this fake award show that means not that's just like all in good fun, making fun of really bad movies. You know, I mean, it is what it is. Yeah, dude.

What's next? You're going to shut down how to this. Get Made podcast. I mean, it's fun. It's fun to celebrate bad stuff sometimes, you know? It's, it's, it's, come on. How would you dance with your mom if you had to dance sexy with her? She'd be upside down. I'd be, my arms would be around her hips. I'd be eating her vagina out. Yeah, that would be pretty sexy. How would you dance sexy with your mom? Jackie's asking this because the moms and the sons on Milton had to do a sexy dance together. Yes, they did. Jimmy and his mother, the one, the Jimmy whose mother slept with his best friend, sending Jimmy on a depression spiral.

Talk about needing to leave the show. Jimmy needed to leave the show, and instead he had to rehearse a choreograph dance with his mother. But then what happened? The power of choreography healed his relationship with his mother so that he decided that he didn't want to basically end his relationship with her, even though he was so upset, not that she had slept with his best friend, but that she decided to tell him that way,

just so that she won this game. Why are we talking about this again? Yes, Milf Manor. He's ever present. Because this is a thing I have no feelings really one way or the other about the Razzie's thing, except that in general, I agree with the general principle. You shouldn't make fun of children. But I do have a lot of feelings about Milf Manor.

This is why Page 7 needs Milf Manor. I'm tired of having opinions about things that matter. I want to only have opinions about things that don't matter. I agree with you. Absolutely. Wait for that email too. How dare you not have opinion about things that don't matter? I mean, I'm going to keep having them.

You know, I am. but I don't want to. Yeah, dude. I want to throw some shots at Madonna before we get into the Celebrity Experience. She just stole T-Swip's idea. And it's just doing the T-Swip's Ares tour, but she's calling it the Celebration Tour.

She's just stole her thing. So the whole thing with Madonna, Madonna, I remember that we commented on this a while ago. Madonna, it was directing her own biopic. And so, which I did look up, by the way, If it's biopic or biopic. Thanks for saying biopic. It's not biopic.

It's biopic. When people say biopic, it sounds like a surgical piece of surgical equipment. Thank you. I always feel like I'm the idiot. I finally looked it up. Because I say bio and everyone's like it's not biopic. Everyone makes me feel like I'm fucking dumb.

It's a biographical picture. That's what it means. That's what it is. So why would you say biopic? It's not about optics. I will say I have said biopic before because I thought that it was biopic, but I I genuinely yesterday looked it up to make sure I didn't sound like a jagoff. I'll concede GIF.

I actually have decided, even though in my head it's still going to be in my heart, it's still Jif. I think GIF is right, but it's fucking biopic, bro. Language is informed by usage, and a lot of people say biopic. And if they want to, I guess that's fine. I just don't get it because I agree. It's a biographical picture. Yeah, it's a biography picture.

It's a biographic. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me why you would, like, change the way it's said. It's a bio pick. It's the shortening of two words. But I hope you're, I hope those listening know now that it is biopic. Because we learned something. This is edutainment. We learned something today.

And if you say biopic, you're a stupid idiot. No, it's just some people say biopic and that's all. Attention hold at page 7.com. Attention hold on page 7.com. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com. So Madonna wants to make a biopic about herself. She wants to direct the biopic about herself. even down to the poor woman Julia Garner from Ozark

who went through just weeks of training because multiple people had to go through it to see who was going to play Madonna in the biopic and now it is all canceled because Madonna wants it way grittier than any than the production company wants to make it. So of course she's going to take it and try and take it somewhere else which how gritty does she want it? I'm so intrigued by how gritty.

gritty she needs this biopic to be. It's like train spotting or something. Yeah. What is she gonna do? It's just requiemper dream. She's ever just dying from like being so horny about her. Maybe that's what it is. And I want to see how gritty it gets. But we're not going to get that yet. Because now instead she's going on a tour, the celebration tour. It's a filthy wink to her 1991. This is what the article says. It's a filthy wink to her name. It sounds like a bundle. To her 1991 documentary, truth or dare. And that's all it says. I don't know what that means. What does that mean? It's a filthy wink to her documentary.

I don't know, page six, but that's what you wrote. Well, then, why is it a T-Sway thing? Why is it like, Aeros? Tell me, break that down for the... Because she's like, I'm playing all my hits through my whole career. It's called the Celebration Tour. instead of the era's tour. It means the same thing. She's going to do all of her, which, honestly, she should have done a decade ago, but that tour.

But still, and so it makes total sense for her to do it because I don't think, I think your last tour sold nearly as well as she'd had in the past. I think it's time to wheel out the fucking hits and stop trying to be on your new era that you're on. Yeah.

She's like, your eras are done. Just do the hits. Really what you should do is go to Vegas and open up a residency there and make an idiotic amount of money, never traveling anywhere else. That's what she should do and just play all the fucking hits.

But instead she's doing her Celebrity store, which just feels very much like eros, whatever! Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Go! Stop! I mean, it's not the same, because MJ is on a delay.

I did good that time. You were good that time. You were on a delay. You're out of delay. Not fair. Not fair. I love this fucking conspiracy. Oh, man.

Here's some injustice for you. It's hilarious. Faking the accent because of Alec Whoa Why? Oh, to keep some heat off of him? No. To take some of the heat Because obviously that's my idea

She had the seventh kid Is it's a distraction kid? That's a crazy thing I think that that makes more sense. Okay, I will keep talking like I am from Espania. I'm talking about me instead of the murder you did. Holaria, please. Just talking the accident.

They all keep telling me. a murderer and I used to go to the opera. And in real life, she's like, okay, Alec, fine, I'll do it. Let's go. On delay. On delay. This one comes in from Kalin who writes Holdenaders. Hi.

Aw, that's cute. That's fun. I always wondered about Alec Baldwin's perspective on the whole hilaria thing. Some people think he was hoodwinked by her, but I believe he has always been in on the act, if not downright encouraging it because it fulfills a romantic fantasy of his. Stumbling on this. conspiracy theory. She links the conspiracy theory connected. A lot of dots for me. In season three of 30 Rock that started in October 2008, Mexican actress Salma Hayek plays Alec Baldwin's love

interest, a Puerto Rican nurse. They had great chemistry, if I do say so myself. Earlier that year, in July 2008, Hayek had called off her engagement to Francois Henry Penult, her billionaire boyfriend of three years and the father of her child. Then that fall, she attended an award ceremony wearing a dress that Alec Baldwin had bought her as a gift all while he was gushing about her multiple times of the press. Hayek and Penalt rekindled then got married in a surprise small civil ceremony in February of 2009. I think buddy boy Baldwin got his heart broke. He and Helaria started dating in 2011. She apparently told him when they met that she was from Boston,

but he overheard her talking to someone in Spanish and said, I must know you. Whoa. He's like somebody who is Mexican versus somebody who is from Boston but speak Spanish. Yes. Six of one, half dozen of the other. Oh, no. About meeting his wife, Alec has said,

I would meet women and it was almost like God would say to me. Now this woman here is not the one you were going to end up with. But she is going to be a lot like this woman. Look at this woman. Study this woman. I now believe that he is referencing Hayek here if he is going around throwing himself at random Spanish speaking women.

People who knew Hilaria through yoga at the time claimed she started doing the accent after meeting Baldwin and we don't know when she officially changed her name from Hillary only that it was between 2009 and their 2012 wedding. The most recent, right? Now, your theory is almost there,

but this I think is a better explanation. The most recent viral video of her for the most reason of our video she is clearly leaning hard into the accent again. Is it because hubby has been super sad lately with all this legal troubles and wants to be comforted by his hot mamacita?

Just typing that made me feel gross. They should keep the roleplay in the bedroom. Much love to you all Kay. Wow. Thank you, Kay. I love this. Yeah, man. Because of course, I would not put it past him to just be like, I have a thing for... I usually, it's all bullshit.

Usually it's all bullshit with these celebrities I actually really fucking buy this one. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of evidence there. The fact that she changed to Hillary sometime that we don't, or from Hillary to hilarious, sometime between 2009 and 2012 and she met him in 2011.

And the Selma Hayek angle, I totally believe. He bought her a dress? Come on. You don't buy, who buys a woman a dress? What's like, cis straight, whatever? Can you imagine buying me a dress, Holden? Right? Can you imagine even starting to try to buy the address?

Considering, like, calling up my assistant, right? And being like, yeah, special night for Jackie. Can you buy her a dress? Sure, I feel special. Come on. You're trying to fuck that woman. You were trying to fuck a woman. And Alex seems to be the most invested, besides Helari maybe, the most invested in talking

about how his wife is from Spain. He is the one who's always like my wife, my wife. my wife from Spain, my Spanish wife. So, yeah, man, I think I might believe. Pretty great. Selma Hyang's collateral damage in the Hilaria and Alec Baldwin saga. I did not anticipate the twist. I know, and that's such a great celebrity conspiracy,

because, like, it's something we've been talking about for a while, but it spins it on its head a bit. I never thought about that. No. It's always thought he was trying to be, like, he was so embarrassed about it, was my take, just because I'm embarrassed about it. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It's embarrassing. But I think instead, he's like, no, I've actually, like, really like it. So I think it gets me hard these days. You know? And especially when it's like,

oh, they're all talking about, I killed this poor woman. Oh, so, eh, how you say, I murdered. Oh, no. I've come here. Have put it in me. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, God, I need some of that.

Spanish energy. Give me to the day. Beautiful stuff. All right. That's it. Wow. Wow. I guess it's time for.

The list? Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Fifteen smart folks who gave up the rat race for comedy. Now, we've done these kind of ones before, but there's some on here that I did not know about. We know that Kenjiang is still a licensed position. I'd be like that's something that just always stuck in my head. Yes.

But I didn't know that Dimitri Martin left NYU Law School for the comedy seller. Good Lord, could I have predicted that, though. Yes. leaving Yale for a full, after turning down Harvard twice and leaving Yale for a full scholarship to NYU law, Martin saw the comedy seller right across the street, dropped out and never looked back. That is, and I also had no idea that Lisa Kudrow was originally trying to follow in her doctor, dad's footsteps. With a Bachelor of Science and Biology, she worked at her father's medical practice for eight years while dabbling and acting, while booking roles she was researching cluster headaches. Wow. Lisa Lampinelli. I got to really go into the depths of my reactions for the... Oh!

Lisa Lampinelli went to Harvard. Oh, my God! But not only went to Harvard, she studied journalism at Boston College and went to a grad program at Harvard. She was a copy editor at Popular Mechanics and assisted at Rolling Stone before becoming the queen of mean at Celebrity Rose. I'm not talking about James Franco,

I don't give a shit. But what I didn't know is that James Woods was almost an eye surgeon. Apparently he has an IQ of 184. James Franco is labeled a math whiz. Ew, don't look at James Franco.

I said don't look at him. We're not talking about him right now. Allegations. I'll just say that word. Yeah, allegations. Something I didn't know James Woods was going to be an eye surgeon. Isn't that interesting?

Yeah, it's fucking great. Interesting. Allie Wong, I'm just obsessed with her. Why are you laughing, Holden? Because you're so intrigued by the list. You're begrudged tone about the list. Because I can feel it from both of you. I know when it's not a good list.

I'm like a puppy dog. I'm loving this knowledge. Lap it up. Lap up the milk, No, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num. Like the puppies do. I think it's more kitty thing, but now it's a puppy's thing. Say the next thing so I can say, now I've heard everything.

David Dukovny was an aspiring poet at Yale. Now I've heard. everything. That one is fun though, because if you were to choose an actor who was going to be an aspiring poet at Yale, David, who got me. I was surprised you skipped John Crosinski taught English, which is the most like, when you think about it, you're like, of course he was an English teacher. He reminds me of my own English teacher from high school.

Yeah, but can you imagine John Crosinski is your English teacher and how much you just be like, would he pull out an acoustic guitar to get the Young's extra wet? Did you have the cool teacher, the guitar playing cool teacher guy that would show up at a party at some point? I did have a teacher that would like curse in front of us. And so that was like, oh, he's kind of cool. Did you wait, did you have a teacher crush in high school? I did on this specific teacher, but also mostly because I knew that he was a homosexual and I was very. So that was my...

That was your attraction for a while. All you had to do to be a hot teacher, in my recollection, a hot male teacher especially, was to just be. like under the age of, I don't know, 45. You know, you are acing at that point. Yes, totally. I think it's different. I think a lot of more teachers are younger. But when I was a kid, it was just like,

if you are a man and you're wearing like thick frame glasses and you are not like a dad age, like you, I'll do whatever you say. Right. Teacher thing. Always the teacher thing. But how do we feel about a consultant thing? Wow.

Edward Norton consulted for the, Enterprise Foundation in Japan, MJ. After studying history at Yale, after studying history at Yale, he moved to Osaka, Japan, to consult for his grandfather's nonprofit, which helped provide affordable housing. Gush, Gush, Gush, Gush, Gish. MJ, you have a big thing for Edward Norton? I will follow him to the ends of the earth.

You got to watch him in Glacinian, he's so good. I did. I love him. Oh, okay. He's a daddy. I love daddy, Edward Norton. I love, I mean, I love, I love. I love Nazi Edward Norton.

I love every version. Oh, yeah. American History X, man. Can someone just pare it down to just MJ saying, I love Nazi? No. No, I get it. I love reformed. I love reform.

Okay. Spoiler alert for American History X. He doesn't stay in Nazi. Spoiler. I think you can spoiler alert American History X. And last but not least, Jerry Springer was an advisor to Robert F. Kennedy. and a mayor. In 1968, he was a campaign advisor for RFK.

Then even after a prostitute-related scandal, that's weird, he became mayor of Cincinnati in 1977. Sorry, I don't read the blurbs before I read them on crack sometimes, and sometimes they get a little wonky. After a failed run for Ohio governor, he got into broadcast journalism. Jerry Springer, everybody. Wow. Jerry Springer.

I love. I love love. You know what I mean? Yeah, do you? Yeah, a little about. Spring is sprung and love is love, you know what I mean? Yeah, dude. I'm going to buy you a dress.

Yeah, what kind of dress? I'd love to see what kind of dress you would. Okay, so just my breasts are flapping about. Yeah, I think that would be awesome. I think it's going to give me weird clockwork orange vibes, but I'll try to take that out of me. Singing in the rain. Don't bring a head into this. All right, I'm not going to buy Jackie a fuck dress.

Don't worry. If you've ever bought someone a dress without the intention to have sex with them, let us know. Yeah, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. What was in going through your head? What were you thinking? It wasn't a filthy, dirty milf. Oh, good you imagine buying a milf a dress? You know what I mean?

Yeah, man. I guess if I'm going to buy someone a dress, it could be a milf. Get some fucking slobbers. Are you blind yet? I think I'm going. Blind. items. We can't see them.

All right. This is kind of a means to talk about something else. So let's just bring it up, even though you guys already probably know what I'm referring to. This foreign-born, former A-list actress hated a recent biopic about her and how bad it made her look, which is why she wrote a book and has her own documentary being released. You should definitely know this. It was definitely already in the articles. This is an easy one. And it's sad to me, you're staring at me with confusion.

She says foreign-born. I'm not gonna lie. I kind of fucked out there for a second. This foreign-born, but foreign is like not, she's speech. You wouldn't look at her and be like, that's a foreign. This foreign born. Okay, because there's lots of people I go, that's a foreign. Whenever I see them.

I think this is holding for Canadian. Yes, this is holding for Canadian. Oh, it's olden for Canadian. Yeah, exactly. You'd be like, oh, right, I guess, Canada. No, dude. You put it in the articles this week. Is Pam Anderson Canadian?

Yes. She's Canadian. I didn't know she was Canadian. How am I supposed to know that? Every few months, we find out someone's Canadian because Holden struggles to articulate the fact that foreign born in this case doesn't mean that they speak a different language. It means that they're Canadian. Yeah, they just seem like... I didn't know she was Canadian.

Exactly. You would just assume she was American. That's why what I mean by that. This foreign born former... You're so mad about it. A-less actress she had. Yeah. So Pamela Anderson.

A-list actress. I know, by the way, model. This is, I'm sorry. This is, I don't know if Pamela Anderson is an A-list actor. B-list centerfold. Pam and Tommy, love Pamela and Pamela Love Story. We were just getting bashed over the, on our brains with it. But apparently, the reason why she's coming out with the documentary and a book is because she just hated that series so much and talks about how much she hates that series in her book.

Or maybe in the documentary. I don't know. Who needs a documentary and a book? It's a lot. He's really upset, though. She's really upset that other people are telling her story. Yes. And you know what?

Go for her. And I love aging Pamela Anderson. I think she's great. Yeah. She talks about how Tim Allen exposed himself to her on this set of home improvement. The documentary was also released in tandem with the book. It dropped some rough reveals about her childhood as well as her disdain for the Pam and Tommy series. And then she has that funny anecdote about Jack Nicholson with the book.

a threesome and how he looked over and they made eye contact and he made a funny noise. Then he came in a woman or on a woman. And he said, thank you, darling. That was more, that was more cute and less like I was assaulted by Tim Allen. But, uh, I mean, she did walk into the room, see them having a threesome and continue to put on her makeup. It was at like a horny sex party. She was at like a dirty fun sex party. God, that'd be fun, wouldn't it? Yes. Then there's this reveal. Then there's this reveal from that book. Everyone knows the illiterate actions actor, used to have a string of women he kept around town

and gave them rankings based on how much he wanted to, how much time he wanted to spin with them. He gave them rankings. It's illiterate. He's in a bunch of action films, especially from like the 90s. He is...

Oh, the bad one that played the bad one. No, he's multiple big franchises, maybe the bad one. Multiple... He's, you know, different action franchises. One sees a Vietnam vet and the other. one he is a Sylvester Stallone.

Yes, according to Pamela Anderson, Sly offered her a, quote, condo and a Porsche to be her, quote, number one girl. A claim that Stallone, of course, refutes, but I believe it. I'd be your number one girl. You give me a condo and a Porsche. I'll do it. Absolutely. I'll be your girl. Absolutely.

I'll do it. I'll be it. The meme actor pulled a threesome in about five minutes hanging out of bar last week. He has a silly name everyone makes fun of, and he's in a big sci-fi franchise that has the second film of its franchise coming out this year. He's got a name everybody who makes fun of. He's coming out this year's sci-fi franchise. Hi-tai in the wang.

It sounds a little... Oh, it's Jody Foster? No, it sounds a little like that, though, his name. High-Tai in the Pai Nile lie. Tycho Waititi? No. You idiot. It sounds like this.

It sounds like, hey, I don't know why. Who has a dumb name like that? Who's got a dumb name? Another hint. Tai Pai in the Kyle Taylor Lawner. You're so stupid.

You're so stupid. You're so stupid. You're giving us poor poor hints. All right. His last name has a May.

Floyd Mayweather. He's a little cute man. Timothy. Come on. That was all we need it. It's just Timothy Shalabay, bro. That was all we needed.

Little cute band in it for us. Jesus Christ. Hayte and the Maytee should have been immediately. I didn't bring a way. No, we said it's not. It have been a Haytay in the Maytee. Timothy Shalemay. You don't understand.

Wait. What? What movie is he coming out with? Dune 2. Oh, God. Okay. Dune 2 is coming out to watch that with my husband. We are both coming out at the end of this year.

That's coming out in, I think, November, I believe. Whoa, bro. Florence Pugh's in it. Maybe she's going to be doing her do all over it. Like Florence P.U. You know what I mean? No, I don't know what you mean. I love her, actually.

She's in treasured. But it's Florence, Woo. Not Florence P.U. Florence, E, or whatever. Yes. All right. Well, I'd kneel down on her, if you know what I mean. Whoa.

Pew, like a church pee. Oh, like a pew. I was going to say that's nice, but it's not nice. I love a kindness blind. I love a kindness blind. This is one of those. Hey, Tay. It is not often a television network is the entity doing a kindness.

A television network this time, guys. They usually only do things that pad at the bottom line. This time, though, they want to try and introduce multiple generations to one of the biggest stars of her day and one of the funniest shows of all time. So they are throwing her a birthday party as a thank you and don't expect to make any money doing so. So name random television networks, major television networks.

ABC. No. NBC. Yes, it's fucking NBC. Is it a Golden Girls thing? No. The lady, she's still alive. Her birthday's coming up.

She had it. Her show was her name and it was a great show. It was like a... Reba. No. Jackie. It was like... like a laughing kind of sketchy kind of show.

Oh, oh, Mary Tyler Moore. Yes, NBC is set to do a two-hour special for Carol Burnett's 90th birthday on April 26th. You have to say Carol Burnett's still alive? I don't think Mary Tyler Moore is still alive. No, I don't think the cheese. But Caroleet was that I love the Caroleonet show. Yes, yes. And I love that they're doing a big special.

I can't believe she's still alive. I can't wait to watch that. Wow. She is so funny and I think she's such a holds up funny too. Absolutely. I'm going to watch the fuck out of that. Yeah, that sounds great. I love her.

I love her. So there you go. Kindness Point. Good on you, NBC. That's what I saw her in. She was in a couple episodes of Better Call Saul. Oh, my God. It was like I saw her in something.

Yeah. Cool. Yeah, dude. They were great episodes. There you go. How great would it be to just have an awesome career and then instead of like having it like be like be shitty at the end because either everything around you sucks or like you make bad choices to just have an awesome career and then be on like the best show of its time also.

Yeah. Yeah. You're really old. Like fucking perfect. It's the dream, man. That's great. It's the dream. Nah, the best is Kelsey Grammer.

Did you imagine being on two of the best shows of all time back to back? Dude. What the fuck even is that life? I know, man. That's why he's got to have, he's got to have his wife's name tattooed above his penis so that he will try not to cheat. bet that guy blasted dirty nut. No, he certainly used to, but now

he has to look at his wife's name above his penis every time he wants to shoot alone. Why am I struggling to figure out what's the second show besides Frazier? Cheers! Cheers, bro! He got to be on the... First cheers, then, I got my orders. He got to be on arguably the best

television show of all time, cheers, and then immediately after that got his own spinoff that was almost equally as successful and, you know, He got to be a part of two 100 episode TV shows. I don't know, man. I still think the best career of all time is Stevie Van Zant being in the best band and the best show of all time. You take that back.

How dare you? What do you see in? The Sopranos. Oh, yeah, God. Would you rather have Stevie Van Zan's career or Kelsey Grammer's career. Well, one's more comfortable than the other, but probably Stevie Van Zad. Yeah, definitely a little Stephen. I want to be a little Stephen.

You get to be in the best life of being a musician and. The best part of being an actor, like only being on an extremely good show. That's, yeah, you're only literally like, again, talking about one of the best shows of all time. Like you were on one of the best shows of all time and one of the best bands of all time. I think about this all the time too with John Worcester in the Mountain Goats, one of the best bands of our generation and also in his, the best show like comedy stuff that he used to do all the time.

He's like a... What did he do? He was in, he did like these... Let me, let me... So, did you ever listen to the best show on WFMU? Oh, yeah, he was on the best show. Yeah. So he was like...

Literally. Yeah, he was literally on the best show with Top Top League. Gotcha. That was the confusion. Yeah, sorry. The capital B, capital S, the best show. Well, a big sexies is also what B&S stands for. And I can see a couple of big sexies right now.

Yeah, is that where you're going to buy my dress from? I'm going to buy you both a dress. Yeah. Yeah, good. Even you, MJ. Even you. Whether you want it or not. For me, too, though.

Yeah. I'll have them cut in. I'll have them put in. Huge ones, too. They'll be as heavy as real tits just you can feel the back pain and everything. Yeah, I get a little throwback. You remember.

Remember why you're so. You'd be like, God damn, I'm happy. I made that decision. Fuck yeah. Oh, this sucks. The stress sucks. Oh, my God. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this week.

You can see again, right, Holden? I said I could see a couple of big sexies right in front of me. Oh, because you can see about a couple of big sexies in front of you. Which is a compliment? Yeah, I'll take it as such. I can always use another compliment. Of course you would, you fucking big sexy. Big sexy.

I'm a big sexy and you can check big sexy out over on Instagram over it. Jack that worm. Or you can check us out on TikTok at page 7 LPN. And let us know, again, page 7 podcast at gml.com of place. that we are trying steer the ship so that we can come and meet you in person for our next tour dates. We'd love to. We'd love to bring, release the butthole cut to you. Dear listener, wherever you are, also check me out.

Actually, before you even check me out on any of my stuff, Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Y'all, add free episodes every week. You get bonus content. We get the talking TV. If you want to hear more about Milf Manor and other TV, shows we're watching. Also, we have, of course, have the Jersey Shore watch-along. It's going to change soon to a different show. But every week, we do a watch-along with a great group of people. Join that at the $10 layer. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. The ad-free

episodes alone is worth the $5 a month. Check us out. Page 7 podcast, the numeral 7. Really wish I could go back and change that. Page 7 Podcasts at gmail.com. I'm desperate for more celebrity conspiracy theories. Please send them in. Send in your shout. and send in your not don't send in your angry things at all and just keep them to yourself unless you need to just scream about milf manner because we have received multiple emails of people just being like i love you guys i have started watching milf manner and it makes me want to rip my own eyes out and that i also accept be mad at us for that but you're not allowed to be mad at us or anything else no take back see so uh twitch. tv ford slash hold the natures hoe Twitch. Dot TV forward slash holdinators ho. Check us out. Check me out Monday through Friday with Jackie.

On Friday, I do a special fun, get drunk stream called Jack up with the Holdies. It is 6 p.m. ET. Twitch. Twitter forward slash holdenators ho. MJ has something to say. My name is MJ. Yeah. I'm not Timothy Chalabay.

Interesting. Hey, it's in the May. We can get it, MJ. Hey to the Moomay. Way lays, though. But I am MJK LKAT on Instagram. Damn right you are. Now it's time for the shout-out song.

Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read into you. Come on. Thank you guys so much for sending in your shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That is page 7, 7 the number podcast at gmail.com. We so appreciate just even just stopping in to say hi or to send things like your favorite unproblematic insults.

Like Adam that sent in for my unproblematic insult, I humbly submit tube sock, as in that guy's a fucking tube sock. Or you fucking tube sock. Thank you for your time and consideration. And thank you, Adam, for thinking of us because you know what? Last week, we were having a difficult time coming up with that. and I also want to say thank you so much to Chris for writing in a shout out to Holden that I'm about to read because it made him feel so fucking good

and thank you so much Chris and this is what Chris had to say. I want to shout out Holden for inspiring me to try to find my authentic self as cheesy as that sounds. I'm already tearing up as I type this. I've been working through the bonus episodes of Whizbru and Holden talked about people being shitty on Facebook and it motivated me to send in my something positive. It reminded me of the Whizboo episode about Twitch

and how it got holden really emotional about how much of a leap it was for him and how much it paid off in the long run. In my early 30s, I gave up everything I had to move across the country to follow a lifelong dream of going to culinary school. After years of setbacks, I finally started my two-year program in August of 2019. I made it until August of 2020 before I had to give up and move home.

I've struggled since then to find a purpose or to feel like I have any usable skills, even after a life of careers that were great, but ultimately unfulfilling. That episode of Wisbrood had me bawling at how much I felt the same. The stifling need to create instead of just consume resonated with me so hard it hurt. It helped cement my decision to stream

and set up a Patreon and buy more tools and do everything I want to try to, till I find something I really enjoy. Hell yeah, Chris. I needed to read this because I feel like a lot of people feel the same as you, and thank you so much for sharing. Chris says, I'm still looking and trying, but page 7 and the whole LPN group has become a constant companion in my lonely days and nights building my life. The world is shitty and full of shitty people whose only joy is stopping other people from having more fun than them. I hope I can add something to the other side of that, letting you know how much you have pushed me to just get up and do anything, even when I feel like garbage.

I have hoped now that it's going to lead to something somewhere that somebody will like eventually. I've made plans with my partner to move to a house next year so I can have an actual workshop and upgrade out of our crowded dining room. I wouldn't have kept going for this long without any returns yet without your guy's example. Thank you so much for saying that, Chris. And also for saying that you are one of the psychos that loves Riverdale Roundup, but literally has no idea what the cast of Riverdale looks like. I can't thank you more, Chris, and thank you so much for sending in something that inspires me right back.

Thank you, Chris. And thank you to everybody who sends in your shoutouts. And also, I just want to say thank you to Saitland Poltergeyer, who sent in when we were talking, we were having our pussy conversation last week. And Saitland says, I am thoroughly obsessed with y'all. I started out listening to last podcast on the left, but page seven has easily become one of my faves. I just finished episode 478, and there was some talk about calling people a pussy,

and words are my jam. Jackie, MJ, Holden, you can take solace in calling people a pussy because pussy is actually a shortened form of pusillanimus. Puselanimus. I could take out me struggling with the word, but I want you to know that I'm struggling with the word. Puselanimus. It's late Latin and means lacking

courage or resolution, cowardly, faint-hearted, timid. So like, fuck whoever decided calling a vagina a pussy was a good idea because women fucking rock. But like, the more you know. Thank you so much, St. Lin, for just, you just told all of us, look at how much we're learning today. I love you guys so much. Thank you again for your shoutouts.

You could send them into page 7 podcasts at gmail.com. And it, I just, I can't thank you guys enough. How many times do I say it? I can't thank you guys enough. Love you. Talk to you next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

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