Page 7 - Ep. 484: Gerard Way's Ladder

Episode Date: March 9, 2023

This week we're gossin' 'bout the rolling blackouts in Jackie's neighborhood that surely are the signal of the end,  Holden shares his favorite bad day song, the continued drama of Vanderpump Rules, the everlasting terror of MILF Manor, a look back a Newlyweds, SPITGATEUPDATE, the rise of Circumboob, American Girl Dolls making everyone feel old, in Celeb Conspiracy: Did Justin Bieber marry Hailey Baldwin for a GREEN CARD!?, a List full of side hustles, the Blindz AND SHOUTZ Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Also, heads up, everybody. We have got an amazing stream coming at you on March 15th. It is a Wednesday over on Holden's Twitchy. And it is a strict-sponsored murder mystery stream. And unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you're looking at it, it will be hosted by Blonzo. Hey, everybody. Yep.

Oh, are you scared? I'm sad from my killing. Yep, I'm scared of Blonzo. because, well, he just admitted that he is the murderer, so I guess we don't have to do the stream. Twitch.tv.4 slash. Holdenators ho. Over at 5 p.m. Pacific Standard Time,

8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Again, that is March 15th. Strict-sponsored Murder Mystery Stream. Come get scared with us. And make sure to wear your robber underwear. I guess we're all going to get piss on us. Blasso sorry in advance. Through the screen.

Oh, y'oi, o'y. Fuck it up. Jaggy with the energy. Well, this is perfect for what I wanted to start with, okay? Because I had a bad day again. Oh, my God. Said I would not understand. More grunky emails, huh?

You left the note and said, I'm sorry. Yeah. I had a bad day again. See, apparently Holden, He has a bad day sings, so a hell of a bad day. Yeah. No, I go fuel only.

I am a fuel only bad day song person. No, no, no, that's not the song I sing. The song I sing is, Kill your family, kill your co-host. Kill your family. Kill your co-host. No, I'm very, very scared of you. I get very scared, especially when you're singing that

while you're holding your child while you put her to sleep at night. I don't want that to go into her. either. But how are you guys feeling? You know what it is? It's that the electricity just keeps going off because Los Angeles

is not made for rain and it's been raining a lot here. And so I don't know about in all the neighborhoods of Los Angeles, but in my neighborhood I just... It blocks from me.

Blocks from me. And I just, I'm living in a layer of hell because that I got like cars trapped in the garage, can't get the car out, You know why?

Electric car door opening. You got a full face on, though? I got a full face on today. But I couldn't leave my apartment place because all of the traffic lights around my house were out. So all of the traffic was backed up. It just, I feel like you had a bad day. I'm sorry.

I'm team holding on this one. If I hear, you got to say you got to have a bad day, you got to sing that fucking song. I'm not saying it's good, but I'm saying it's what comes up. Doesn't that enrage you so much more just by thinking about that song? Sounds like somebody needs a visit from penis Daniel. Penis Daniel?

No, I'm not getting more bad emails this week. Petus day mail. Venus day mail. What did I say? Beas day mail. I don't know that. Ah! Talking for the night mail.

Oh! Yes, I am. By the way, talking for the nightmare. Too, that's not the lie. Also, Holden woke up 10 minutes before he was supposed to be. This is all a whole. Baby's sleeping in. Holdy sleeps.

Dadda sleeps in. Ew, gross. When you say Dadda sleeps in. MJ, are you having a bad day today? I'm having a off time. I'm currently in a battle with some rats who have taken up residence right outside my home. And the other day. Right outside?

Oh, my God. Move to New York City. Where dreams get me. Raise your children in New York City so that you can carry them over the ratchet only to put them down. And then when you go back to get the stroller, have one of your children scream, watch out for the puke! Because also I live on a very populous street and somebody had puked right outside of our dorm also. Oh, that's cute.

There was some puke and shit. The kids don't try to eat the puke, right? No, no, no. They leave the puke below. I mean, I was proud of Freddie for recognizing it for what it was and helping Zeldestel all to stand away from it. Again, these are life skills. You've got to live in New York City.

You've got to be able to recognize sidewalk, puke, and, you know, gently guide your younger sister away from it. Now we are very good at recognizing rat shit. See? So that's my life. Grow up in New York City. Be like Henry and I, filled with anxiety, and neither one of us know how to ride a bicycle.

Grow up in New York City. Yeah, they don't know how to swim. I mean, my kids don't know how to swim, but I hope to get them to learn eventually. But if you grew up in New York City, most of the people I knew who grew up in New York City don't know how to swim, don't know how to drive. Oh, yeah, no.

All these things. Can I say, though, I lived in the perfect, idyllic, like, Stephen King neighborhood-style neighborhood for riding bikes all over it. Was it filled with ghosts? And it was filled. Yeah, there were clowns and the gutters, and there were... Lodons and the gutters and the silver spoon.

Our neighbors were a couple of langalears, which was weird. We were like, don't talk to them. look at them, you'll melt. Don't go the other way. Then the Tommy Knockers live three doors down. The Tommy Knockers live a couple doors. That's Stevens Ladder, whatever it is.

Gerrard's Ladder? What is it? Yeah, it's Gerard Way's ladder. You are correct. Well, anyways, it was perfect for riding bikes. And yet, as soon as those training wheels came up, I like hit a tree once and was like, I'm out. I'm good.

I'm not doing this. So you had the opportunity. and you piss the opportunity away. I pissed it away. And that is why I was so lonely. I think if I had learned properly how to ride a bike and was confident on a bike, I would have had neighborhood friends and could have done stuff. So my brother wrote a bike.

He was all over the neighborhood. He was living that classic Americana life. You know what I mean? They were all, they were riding the bike to the gum store and getting all the gum, fill in their mouth with gum, choking on it. Very strange things. Like, what do you think a naked lady looks like? You know what I mean?

They were doing all that stuff. I get that. I used to put as many now and ladders in my mouth as I could. Now and later's they were so difficult to chew. And then you had seven in your mouth. Yes. Speaking of idyllic childhoods in dangerous places, do you remember the game from when we were kids called Chubby Bunny?

Yes. Chubba. It was the marshmallows, right? Yeah, see how many marshmallows you can put in your mouth, which I played as like a probably four-year-old at the neighborhood park program. and was asked to play. And I, of course, was like, absolutely not. And I walked home alone.

That was like a pre-Tick-Tac, like, TikTok trend essentially, too, I think. Like, people were posting YouTube videos of them doing that as well. Yeah. Sure. Well, it's very dangerous. Speaking of games for when we were younger, Amber almost convinced us the other night to play manhunt. And I, but then I got really scared because I think that it would be scary to play

manhunt as an adult. Like, I think that I have two, like, I, I, I think I have too many real life anxieties now that I don't need someone hunting me in the night. Do you remember Manhunt? Remind me about Manhattan. It's not kind of just like scarier hiding go seek. It's nighttime hide and go seek with flashlights and you do it outside. So you have like you have a parameter of where, or at least that's how we played.

I'm sure that there are many different like regional ways of which you play. Yeah. And then there's a base that you have to get to so it could shut off your flashlight. And if you can get to base in the dark, then you're safe. Just an absolute recipe. for knocking your teeth out against a tree. Yeah, just a total. Oh, yeah.

And also getting hunted in the night. Right. That, like, as an adult, when we started thinking of the practicality of it, I was like, I don't know if I can play this game. Yeah. As an adult, I think I would, like, have a panic. Yeah. No, I don't want to play that.

Because no matter where you play, it's going to be scary. You're going to play in the woods, that's scary. Going to play in the city. That's also scary. Yeah. Jason takes Manhattan. I mean, what are we talking about? here. You know what I mean? Terrified. Yes, it's truly terrifying. I mean, almost as terrifying as

what the Vanderpump Rules community is going through right now. I just want to say that we are with you guys in all of this. For those of you that don't know, there's a really big shakeup going over at Vanderpump Rules. I give my condolences as someone that, like, as I watch Sister Wives, and I am devastated watching everything that's happening, but also, of course, fuck Cody Brown. But we don't need to go down. That. road. We're like Lander Dump Grools. We're like Van.

No, don't Lander dump rules. I'm going to let them sit in this one. MJ liked it. Lander dump grules. I wasn't going to laugh, but I did. He got. I got an insult for every syllable. Every syllable got an insult.

That's pretty good. Yeah. I didn't change one. You are. You are a dynamo. Don't make me bring to you penis, Jonathan. Don't. I think was that, did you say penis kneel before?

No, Daniel. I'm sorry, penis. Well, Pius Jonathan's is very close friends. Oh, okay. They're playing chubby Bunny right now, but they want to come hang out. I feel like chubby Bunny is a different game for the two of them. Yeah, exactly. They're not playing it with marshmallows.

They're calling it chubbing bunny and they get chubs together. They're playing it with Cox, Jackie. I'm talking about Vanderpump rules. I'm talking about the 10-year-old series Vanderpump Rules right now because there is a big upset going on with that fuckhead Tom. as someone that watched, I watched the first two seasons. So the other people that they're talking about is just, I feel like it's everywhere on every single celebrity gossip site that the world is so upset because Tom is a piece of shit

and he cheated on Ariana with Raquel. And I had to read multiple articles to find out just exactly like how all of this is coming down. And some of the things are a little, it's a stretch to like prove it. Bravo is its own universe of reality. It is. It's almost like they go to a different high school,

you know? Like, I feel like I'm in like the Netflix and Discovery Plus, you know, clicks. And then like across town, there's the Bravo people. And I go there sometimes. It's a hot popular girl table. It is. I load than high school.

It's all those people. And I don't. But I, yeah, yes, we all secretly want to be them. Of course, we were handed a different lot in life. You know what I mean? I'm funny. Does everyone want to be my friend? Work like a dog for the rest of your life.

But that's why Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is the best because it's like, it's like the one like really weird hot girl who sits at the hot girl table and you're like, you are cool as shit. But you're disguising yourself as one of the rest of them. And maybe all the rest of the real housewives are just as interesting as Salt Lake City. but I don't think so. I mean, come on. The Salt Lakes, Real House of Salt Lake City is the most interesting reality show I've ever watched in my life. But the rest of them, I've seen so many commercials for Vanderpump Rules,

and it took me years to even figure out what it's about. It's just like, it's just all these hot people are fighting. And of course, that's what every reality show is about. But there's something about it that I just, I just can't access it. I will say something that I do think that you're missing from it is that I, correct me if I'm wrong, but you've never worked for an extended amount of time in a restaurant before, have you? Correct. Yeah, I've worked in coffee shops and catering, so close but not quite. Party down is pretty, then. So that definitely hits that other.

That's back. It's back, yes. But I, that's how I identified with Vanderpump rules, even just for the first two seasons of it, because it was like, oh, yeah, no, we did all, like, we're all friends. We've, like, all had interesting inter-fucking in the past. You bring in new people that are also, I mean, in our place it also was like a cool place to work in, so I kind of understood that vibe obviously very different from the world that Vanderpump

rules lives in. So I was drawn in in that way, but I kind of fell off because I was just like, I was hate watching it for two seasons and then I was like, I don't know if I hate watch, love this enough because I don't hate watch many things. Yeah. There's certain

like I actually genuine, like Sister Wives, I'm not hate watching Sister Wives. I genuinely like sister wives. I hate watch Milf Manor for sure. Hate Watch Milf Manor. Oh, yes. That's the ultimate hay watch, but that's the thing, man. I mean, I'm guessing it's just not as groaning enough, let's say.

The groan factor isn't there enough. Like, it's trying too much to actually be legitimately, like, classy in these ways that equal boring. Or, like, there's just not, I think it's just, my understanding of those is that you just got to love the cast. And then whatever drama happens, if you love all the real. housewives of, you know, Atlanta or whatever, then whatever happens is cool. But there's not really like a premise other than like, this is the cast. And it seems like Vanderpump rules are similar. Like, this is the cast.

We'll see what happens. Whereas we over here at page seven are very into the premise-based reality shows. Melf Manor. Holden's watching baggage right now. Obviously perfect match. There's like a gimmick. F-boy Island. We like a game.

I'm a premise guy. I'm more of a premise guy than a character guy for sure, especially when it comes to reality stuff. All those real housewives when a Vanderpumpurals seem just very character-based. And, you know, Salt Lake City,

you love all the characters. I also don't want to watch, like, Vainter Pump Rules is like the Kardashians. I'm not watching stuff to like, like, it's like, I think a lot of people watch it in a fantasy sense of like,

I want to pretend I am these people. Right. Or like, I want to like live in these people's world. I think it's also because it's even less, it's like eating cotton candy. Yeah. I think it's actually the,

like, a different from that that I think it's so nothing. Yeah. That it just falls apart in your mouth. And so it's so easily digestible because you could just watch him be like, oh, damn, oh man, yeah, he's fucking hurt. Right. Whereas Milf Manor, I mean, last night I was thriving in bed.

I mean, I was screaming in terror. If someone had walked by the apartment, they would think, what sick man lives in that apartment and how many days do they have left to live? You're about to talk about Milf Manor. I just come to say in conclusion, I am not saying this in a way to make fun of the Bravo community either. I'm just saying I understand how intense I would be about this

if this was my show and all of my love goes out to you. All right. But Milf Manor, can we please? I made a big mistake. I watched perfect match last night instead of watching Milf Manor because I was trying to finish perfect match but I forgot it's Milf Manor night. It's okay.

So you guys get to explain it to me. Okay. So this is the game, MJ, that they played in the last episode. Okay. They took all of the moms put underwear into a basket. Oh, no. Of different varying qualities. Some of it was absolutely filthy lingerie.

You know, they were, I will say this. The name of the game was dirty lingerie. Was it worn? Like, was it dirty underwear or clean underwear? They were, they seemed washed. I swear to you if that was dirty. Yeah. It is called dirty laundry.

So I think they want you to assume that it's, But it was, they were clean, I think, underwear. But still, basket full of the mom's underwear, basket full of the boys underwear. And they made the moms go through the boys underwear and the boys go through the mom's underwear and try to pick out who their sons was and vice versa who the mom's underwear was. Oh, my God. It was so gross. It was so wild. And like the way they were like, yeah, I know moms like small.

So I know that this is this or like this is definitely my mom's because you can see, you know, it's it's a, it's see through. You can see the pussy through. You know what I mean? I don't think they said that, but dude, it was like on that level. And at one point, I think it was Ryan starts like, he's like, I wonder who's mom's this is. And he uses the floss of the thong to like floss his teeth. Yeah. That guy, wait, which Ryan, new Ryan or old Ryan?

Old Ryan's right. But also New Ryan. What a new Ryan. Oh my God. No, Ryan goes on a date with Charlene. What's romantic? Do you think, how romantic are facts about cacti to you? You know what?

Okay, I will throw this out there. I am married to a man that really, that like hones cacti and succulents, and I love to hear him talk about it. But also, he's a big, throb and hog. Also, though, Ryan, I'm pretty sure you can, this is pretty obvious. They were going on a date, a date, quote, unquote. By the way, this show constantly shows its budget. I'm pretty sure this little cactus garden just exists on the grounds that they're staying on. Oh, yeah.

This is not like a date. This is like literally let's walk through a part of the house that exists and like, and then sit down and talk. So they are walking through and he just starts rattling off these facts about cactus. And it seems pretty clear to me that he just like looked up like facts about cactuses the night before and like memorized like eight of them and just started like listing cactus facts. This dude, he just seems like a normal man who accidentally ended up on Milf Manor, but then was like, you know what? When in Rome?

I thought you were going to say the other thing, which is gay. He seems very much like the rest of the boys and that pretty much all of them are gay. And it is so awkward. God, this show is the best one ever seen of my life. I feel that Charlene is a very attractive woman. Yeah, he's a robot, bro. He's a gay robot. Man.

It is so funny. He looks like he's being, like he's scared and being forced on the show. And yet, weirdly enough, he is slyly the most, like, aggressive. That's the thing. He's just like, all right, I'll play this game. I'm not at all disturbed by this. And that's what's truly, that's why I knew Ryan, you really got to watch out for him because he's not appropriately horrified by the premise of the show.

I mean, none of them are. And that's what's so hard about the show. you really want them to all be screaming. Why? Why? And they're not. And that's the hardest part. I will say. His mom, by the way, is a scream queen.

She's in a bunch of horror movies. Yes. Which, I mean, the mom is like, the mom is doing much more of the like, I'm a baby, wavy. And that yucks me out, too. It's just, there is, it's, this episode with the underpants, I can't imagine. I, I don't. I don't want my mom touching my underpants and I don't want to be touching my mom's underpants.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, it's very upsetting. It's very, I feel like, very, and I thought that we were doing everyone a favor by sending them to perfect match, but I also saw we got some emails of people being like, why are you making me watch this? This is all so bad. It's very bad. I think for a perfect match, it's a little clouded because we've been appreciating all

of these people in other reality shows. Yeah. Again, we say this is our world series. This is our Avengers, rather. Yeah. This is our, they all get together in one space and we get to see them from all these different shows and how they do together. You know what I mean?

So I wonder, I would assume there's a lot missing from the show without that. At the same time, I love shows like these. Like, I love Are You the One as well. And that's like that premise without it being an All-Star special. Yeah. You know what I mean? Essentially. Yeah.

Also, I love a good reality show like, a perfect match where they just make the rules up as they go along. Oh, man, they are making up. Have you noticed that Nick Lachey comes out and he explains the game and I'm not even drunk or stone when watching this and I, he will explain each challenge and I'm like, I don't understand these challenges. These challenges don't make any sense. It's like, I swear to God, they are out of ideas.

They're like, let's just put a bunch of bales of hay in a field. We'll make them jump over the bales of hay. Like, there was this one that involves a lot of bidding. it was completely unclear what the rules were. Yes. And Nick Lachey looks like he has a gun to his head. He looks so miserable. It is...

How did he end up doing this without his wife? I know. Where's Vanessa? He's his wife. Where is his wife? He only has anything to offer if his beautiful wife is there. Like, everyone, and he's in everyone, I feel like he knows he's a punchline and everyone treats him like a punchline.

Like, he comes in and everyone's like, Nick Lachey. Like imagine being the host of a show and everyone's just like, you're here because everybody thinks that you're a human joke and nobody likes you. It's true. Yes, that comes from a person that watched hours of perfect match yesterday. I'm sorry, I'm still mad at Nick Lechay for how he treated Jessica Simpson. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, good for you, man. The whole chicken of the sea thing, she got done. dirty. I know a lot of people get done dirty. Yeah. What was the chicken and the sea thing just for our listeners

to myself? She was, you know, so newlyweds was their show very early in the reality realm. I'll talk about OG reality. O.G reality. You never watched Newlyweds? I don't think I did. No, I'll have to throw that on the list. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was very, it was like early 2000s. And right after they had gotten married and of course, you know, she was a virgin because she was like really Christian and he waited for her. I mean, he was not a virgin, but he was like, that's fine. that you're a virgin or whatever. And then they got married and it was an MTV reality show, right? Jackie, it was MTV.

Oh, yeah. And the whole, like, the way that the show was edited and the whole kind of thrust of the show was just like, look at this fucking idiot, Jessica Simpson. Like, she's in a very gendered way. Like, she's a bimbo. She doesn't know anything. And it's like, yeah, she got married when she was like, what, 21 or 22 and she had been super sheltered beforehand.

Like, that's literally like her life story. And then he is just rolling his eyes at her and, like, complaining all the time. I actually don't think you want to watch this on screen. I don't think it's, yeah, it's to be aggravating. I think it's just sad. Yeah, I think it's one of those ones that wouldn't age well. And then, yeah, the viral moment at the time was that she, like, picked up a can of tuna and it's called Chicken of the Sea. And she was like, is it chicken or tuna?

And he looks at her like he wishes she was dead, you know, like he just looks at her, like, so disgusted. And it turned into this whole thing, like, look at this, girl, she's so dumb. And of course, that was like, it was just such a worst time because everyone was just thirsty for like a look at this idiot, virgin bimbo. Especially, yeah, if you were a rich, blonde, like, you know, this Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Yes. She was the villain, you know, in a way. She was like the protagonist, but also the point was to like point and laugh at her. And it's just like this young woman, again, hyper-sheltered.

Her entire life had been under other people's control, right? And now it's under his control. And like, yeah, she's a celebrity. She probably doesn't like make tuna salad on her own a lot. It says chicken of the seat. Just give her a fucking break. Also, she had like, was like pretty outspoken about having a eating disorder. And it just turned into this whole thing.

And it's one of these things where one of the many things from the early 2000s where you look back in retrospect and you're just like, wow, we just, as a culture, we just wanted to like point and laugh at a young woman, you know, for being dumb. And I think that it felt fine at the time because she was rich, you know. But I think Jessica Simpson, you know, it goes in the column of like, of Brittany in terms of like young women who were just like exploited and treated horribly and kind of mocked and laughed at. And everyone was just like, yeah, all right, that's what we do, you know. Here, here. Apparently Jessica Simpson also opened up too, which makes sense because they were in like the pioneer days of reality.

They were always miked. Like for essentially the beginning of their marriage, they were just miced all the time. So they didn't know how to react together as a couple when they weren't doing the show anymore because it became such a huge part of their almost every single second of their lives. And then going through a very public breakup. That's going to fuck you up 20 ways from Sunday as well. Yeah. Is that the phrase 20 ways from Sunday?

Yeah. You know what? 20 ways from Sunday. That's the phrase. What is speaking constantly today? Yeah, you know, the Nightman lyric. I mean, it is fine. People will connect the dots, all right?

We'll connect. We're connecting them. I mean, in the way that we can connect the dots by looking at what happened during, Don't worry, darling press tour, we're going back to it. Wow, I can't believe this is. We're going back to the Don't worry, darling press tour. If you remember, Spitgate. The great Spitgate was Chris Pine Spit on by.

Harry Styles, and we all, of course, knew originally that the answer was no. But now Chris Pine, many months later, comes out and says, no, he didn't spit on me. The actual quote is, it does indeed look like Harry spit on me. He didn't spit on me. I'm not convinced personally, but that's the quote. No. And he's a quote, very, very kind guy, which I do believe, but I still believe he spat on him. I do appreciate the fact that Chris Pine is very open about the fact that he was way more taken aback by the fact that his publicist told him that the haircut he had at the time was reminiscent of Rachel from Friends. And so Chris Fine was way more upset about looking like Rachel from Friends than he was concerned about Spitgate at all because Spittgate obviously didn't happen. But then he got really upset but enjoyed the memes, even though all the memes had him with his Rachel from Friends haircut.

cut. We got, it's a Yahoo News article. We got to take to the comments. Take it to the comments, Holden. Madam Tokyo said, I did not see the lips moving. I'm just saying. Jay says Rat Boy Stiles clearly spitted Pines laugh. This shows how classy pie.

Rad boy styles is so funny. This shows how classy pine is, as I would have knocked that little punk in a next week. And a username Yahoo News sucks, said. It's funny because Yahoo News shut down comments for two years to fix the systems. it heavily censored free political speech here, but they forgot to implement a tool to ban users based on their name. Yeah. That's with your Yon-Commit section. Stick it to a Yahoo!

Who sucks? Oh, man. I love it. It's like, I found a workaround to fix their little plan. They want to shut me down. Well, here's money. Oh, my God. Oh, man, it's good.

It really does make me want to just go back to the time of the Don't really daringly press tour because it was so fun. And also, it's very relatable. Chris Pied was like, I was on an airplane. I was like doing other stuff. And everyone was like, did you look at Twitter? And thankfully, I've never been like the main character of Twitter like that. But, you know, even on a normal day when something else is happening on Twitter and you are doing something else. And everyone's like, oh, my God, did you look at Twitter?

And you're like, no, what happened? But instead, it's like, did you look at Twitter? It's like, no, what happened. Everyone thinks Harry Styles spit on you. would be just such a hilarious thing to be like, oh, now I'm going to look at Twitter. Oh, my God, everyone on Twitter's talk about how Harry Styles spit on me. What are we going to do?

And I also love that their approach was to just stay completely silent about it for six months. Yeah, and I got to read this because it's so funny. PT says, such malarkey. The Goon Stiles does something. Pine obviously looks down and shakes his head slightly incredulous about it and looks over at the goon styles. Stiles says it twice Stiles has nothing to say before,

during, or after. So Pind is totally making it all up. Why is he so afraid of Harry that he has to deny what to happen as anyone's guest? Chris, try the truth next time. It will be Harry smacking you or someone else across the face sometime soon. My likes, three dislikes. Damn. Damn, he is laying it down.

I haven't called something malarkey in a minute. That's a great word, man. That is such malarkey. Man, ever since you've been called a bozo as well publicly, I've been referring to people as bozo. Bozo is a great one. So, it was such a great dig on somebody, you bozo? Why are you being such a bozo right now?

It was privately, but I made it public. Oh, that's right before I got a haircut, I had a bit of a bouffant, and the person said nice hair bozo. They also, in a premed. Insta story. He was like, why is your ceiling so low? That was his other troll message.

It's probably, it's probably just like, why's your ceiling so low? Like, I feel like it's another one of those lost in text translations. No, he said it like this. Why is your ceiling so?

Okay. Nice hair, and Holden's defense, that is a very strange thing to ask someone. Why is your ceiling? Sure, sure. Like, I don't know.

I built this house and I built it low. You know, what are you going to say? I built it low. It's a whole thing. He also, he asked me why I'm so weird as well. That's a fair question. There's a story I reposted of you like cooking in your kitchen, by the way.

Like advertising, I think, for Jack it with the Holdies or whatever. Every Friday, Twitch on TV, 4th slash Hold Nader's Hell, 6pm ET. He was like, he was like... Are you sure it wasn't when I was promoting Wild Grain? Check out my Instagram profile and you can click and you can order some wild grain and par baked bread sent right to your home. It might have been him actually. I was promoting my Into the AM partnership.

It's T. Perel. Use whatever at checkout to get 10% off. Great custom design shirts. I love the job. I mean, somebody should give me a sponsored. Yeah. What's M.

J? Like a book salesman or something? Like Encyclopedia Britannica. I'll do Encyclopedia Britannica. Oh my God. Door to door. MJ will come to your house and you have to buy books from them. All right.

M.J. sell us. some encyclopedias right now in this world with the internet. What are you giving us right now? Do you find yourself talking to your children and they ask you basic questions like what do bees do? And you don't know. You just Google it. You could without the phone, but you're too busy feeling consumed by guilt about how much

you already look at your phone in front of your children. And so instead, you do the thing that you want to do, which is model reading physical books to them. And so you go over to your, look at here. followers. Look at how well it fits in with my neatly decluttered home. I've got all my encyclopedia Britannicas right here. Wow. I follow a lot of decluttering Instagram. Like, why are you decluttering? I'm trying to declutter, man. I'm going to have been a lifelong process of trying to declutter. Sacks and books would be hard for me personally to add to my house right now. Yeah, 26 books is going to be hard for your decluttering mission, but you're going to

add them. No, but didn't your parents do that to you? My parents said that to me all the time. They're Like, I asked the question, go look it up. Yeah. And then I would go into, because we had all the encyclopedias, and I would look it up. Yeah, we had them too. Yeah, we had them too. Oh, yeah, we had encyclopedias. Yeah, and then you would, you really would.

You'd go down to the basement. They were all in the basement for us. You had to go down the basement and look it up. We would also do that with the globe, too, when I'd ask where a country was, why I'd go, well, let's go find it. And we would go and look and talk about the continent and then talk and find where it was on the globe. That's cool.

I should have a globe. That's always have a globe and have an encyclopedia. Well, that's a good example of your mother's mothering. Yes, here you go. That's nice. That's nice. Linda, good on you. Yeah, thank you.

And honestly, now I'm going to go buy some encyclopedias. Yes. And I'm going to declutter my home. Wow, all in one. I'm going to throw away all of my child's toys. I mean, and just for the two of you guys, I guess I'm going to have to start going down the new cleavage trend for a chaotic era. Yes, I'm talking about the circumboob. You've got to because neither of us can't.

No, so that's why I am here to represent circumboob. What if I just all of a sudden had my breasts out? You guys were just like, oh, oh, oh! I feel like too hot to handle did this to us. Yes, I was going to say, let's call it the Francesca boob, you know? Yeah, yeah. This is why I brought it up because this article came up as I was just doing other research. I was like looking through The Guardian, and they brought up the fact how cleavage and what is in,

because remember, like, there was the side boob as someone that has watched this trashy reality for so long, the side boob was in for so long. And then I've been noticing it's a lot of like, and then a lot of under breasts, a lot of under ass of just seeing little unders. But then noticing in perfect match, there's been a lot of like little tiny, keene tops.

Right. And then you see the entire full, perky breast that just sits there. Yeah. And it is actually a trend that is happening right now called the circumboob. Yeah, Chloe, Francesca, I'm looking at you two specifically for doing this to us. Yes, and if you watch all of these trashy reality TV shows, I want you to know you're not alone in noticing that the way that they, you know, show off their bristicles is different than it used to be because, like, I can't even imagine trying to show off my entire circumference of breasts. with just a tiny postage.

Oh, that's why it's circumboom. Yes, because you're getting the entire... Pretty much getting the whole tit. Yes. It's so... It was rereading over and over trying to figure out why circumboop. Why circumvibed now?

And it just continues to put into the question now. It's like, are we just going to get tits out soon because it's like this weird thing with the nipple, with the female nipple? No, it's going to go back the other way because that's what happens. It'll go back to being like completely covered. Yeah.

Okay. It's just like this weird issue we have with the nipple. nipple, the lady nipple is so weird. Just look at fashion. Generally, like, teen fashion has gone back to the 90s and everything is baggy. Everything is big. Everything is covering. And God, I wished I had lived in that area of fashion when I was in middle school. Could we scream about this a lot, especially when we're doing our page 7 rewinds talking about how MJ you and I as identifying as women at the time. could not dress in the female fashion of the early 2000s because it was all low rise. It was all like showing off like midrifts. It was a lot of belly button rings. It was all the things that I've always had a big enough belly that you can't see my belly button. And so I always wanted a belly button ring.

But it's like, of course, I remember going to someone. They're like, it's just going to get infected because you're too overweight. I was like, no. I did a ballet button ring. I like that crop tops are back. I could never do them then. And high-waisted leggings. Yeah.

I feel like now crop tops are back in a seemingly like a more body-positive way. Like no matter what size you are, you should rock a crop top, you know. And also the men are rocking crop tops. And I'm not going to hand a single thing to Shane on perfect match. I don't think that man should be on television. But I do like that the men wear a crop top. I love it when Dom wears the crop top too. I think they look cute for crop tops.

Dom looks, we'll hand it to Dom. We won't hand it to Shane. Crop tops are for everybody. I say regardless of belly, crop tops are for all. I don't know. When I wear it, it's a plop top. No, don't say that about yourself.

I build you up. I build you up. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. Jesus. I think that you look great in your plop. If you want to call a plop top, I say you own it. I love your plop tops then.

I like my flip flops of my plop top and I go out. Well, I did. Now, I mean, this is a good segue into the American girls' 90s dolls that have just been released that the internet has gone aflame over because it makes our generation feel old. Because now alongside, you know,

the ones that were, you know, dying of tuberculosis, there's also ones in a beret. you can get a tomagogy for them and blow up furniture. We've talked blow up furniture on here before. Yes, I wrote a whole song about our and, my friend's inflatable chair that I sat at, I was in a comfortable chair,

it's made out of air. Like I told that whole song. That's a good song, though. Yeah, yeah. And so, yeah, it was just so inherent in the culture, inflatable furniture. It was beautiful. It replaced the bean bag in a lot of ways.

It did. Man, I'd still love a bean bag, and I love how difficult it is to get up on it. I love how difficult it is. I can just watch YouTube mastercuts of just people getting out of beanbag chairs. That'd be like a therapy for me. That also, I saw some TikTok that was saying that like if you're sitting on the ground, crisscross applesauce and you get up, it shows like your mobility and like how healthy you are if you can get up without using your hands. Have you tried to get up off of the floor, crisscross applesauce, without. using your hands. Well, there he goes. He's going to go try it. I'm going to try it too. Jackie, can you vamp? All right. I'll, yes, I'll vamp and I'll keep it going while Holden does this. All right, Holden is sitting in crisscross applesau right now. You cannot use your hands. Do not use

your hands. He's struggling. Oh, he's struggling. Oh, he's struggling. Oh, he got up on his knees and did it. I did it. I did it, but I had to scream really loudly. See, Holden did it that he got up on his, he shifted so that he got up onto his, his knees. At first I had no idea what to do. I was like a baby try to walk for the first time. What you're supposed to do is push up just from your legs and not get up on your knees. You're supposed to say from crisscross applesauce, push up from there. I got into a position to do that and I was like, there's no way this is ever going to happen. And then I rolled it onto my knees and got up. Yeah, it was it was a dip and roll. You didn't use your hands. How did you do it, MJ?

I just launched up from my legs, but I have a lot of... Whoa. You have to understand. And I had two babies at the same time, you know, and so I had a lot of years of practicing having to stand up from the floor. And I'm going to go out there. And I lost that tit weight too. And I think that gave us some vertical ability. He gave me vertical ability. 10 pounds lighter up here, man. I don't actually think it was 10 pounds. Significantly less. Yeah. No, I did not have huge huge boobs before. God, that would give you, like, that just makes me imagine you with, like, massive 10. No, but I have a lot of practice getting up off of the floor while holding two kids,

but the problem with that is that I've destroyed my knees. They are. Oh, no. Do they do the crack, crack, cracky, cracky, cracky, crack. Oh, yeah. Mines are getting louder. Oh, yeah, cracking away. It's like they've got critters in there.

I had a knee ache, too, from running slash the rain. That's the sad one is now I'm starting to like feel stuff because the rain. That's when you're getting old. Also, I want to say this about American Girl doll. Don't you also though? I kind of look at the 90s now like I used to look at the 70s a little bit. Like just when you think about like film quality and like what media was like and like what fashion was like it to me feels kind of ancient. You know what I mean?

So I don't feel so old because to me I'm like that was legitimately now a long time ago. If it was like 2000, which they're about to do and then I'll feel old. If it was like the aughts style, Y2K, that kind of stuff, that weirdly would is what when I would be like, like, like, AOL. Like, wow, AOL, right guys? Yeah. These guys have a desktop computer. They do have a desktop, but they do have a Pizza Hut bucket set. Yeah.

That's nice. That you get a personal band pizza and the iconic red pizza hot cups. And I kind of love that because, again, it really. did turn me into a reader. I'm pretty sure that being a little fat girl, plus the Pizza Hut booket that if every book you read, you get a free little pizza. I mean, that just, or it was like how many days you were. I just remember getting the stars on the button. You know, I think it was talking about fast food restaurants and stuff as we had to like rank Pizza Hut. We were doing our tier list. We were talking about that. Man, can someone bring back old school Pizza Hut with the fucking

Neo Geo arcade cabinet in the corner the fucking pizza buffet with the dessert breadsticks the fuck you know what I mean the whole vibe that little family restaurant vibe that used to exist

yes you could have kids there being loud and it was fine I also my hobby worse now is that in New York City I want just on every few blocks just like when Andrew Carnegie started developing the libraries in Manhattan He wanted libraries to be within child walking distance of wherever a child lived, which is so...

I love that. Isn't that so nice? And it's really true in Manhattan. There's just so many libraries. But also, within child walking distance, I want a 1990s version of the McDonald's playplace. I want a McDonald's, and I want it to be a free indoor playground that you can take your kids to. It's going to be filled with needles. Jackie's not going to go.

Jackie's not going to like it. But I will expose my children. into the needles because that's what we need. Kids need a place to play. And families need a place to bring their kids to have dinner where the kids can be loud and annoying and nobody will be mad at you. And that was Pizza Hut.

Yes, 100%. I completely agree. I lament the loss. Jackie, anything else before you hit me with the share? No, I don't have to get into how much I dislike Rebel Wilson right now. Sure, yeah. I don't know why.

She just rubs me the wrong way. I think it's all the last. lies. I think it's just the fact that like there was all these, and like, she never really like. Jenny any dots. And Jenny Annie dots. I mean Jenny Annie dots. Also, I will say not as a person, just like as a celebrity entity. Yeah.

Like if I met her, I wouldn't give a shit. Also, yeah, so yeah, she got engaged in Disney World or whatever and got kicked out for taking a picture of herself in the secret bathroom. She got banned from Disney World for Disneyland for 30 days because she took a photo inside a secret bathroom, which is illegal at Disneyland. And I just, there's something about, sometimes, sometimes, and I think it's because I come from Florida, sometimes big, crazy Disney people

kind of drive me batty, especially because we have an uncle that lives in. Are you describing Ed Larson? No, but Ed would have moved to Celebration Village. Like, I'm talking about people that would move to Celebration, which is where the, like, you don't think Ed would move to. I don't think, I think it's,

too censored in there. I don't think that Eddie you probably couldn't smoke as blunt. Yeah, no, it's too, yeah. It's like you have to keep your law. You know, it's the HOA is crazy in there and everything. Well, I just want to say the article did a little redemption for you, Jackie. The article did refer to her as The Cats actress. I did notice that and it made me kind of happy.

Yeah. Because she's very, she is very funny. I'm not saying she's not talented. It's just, I love her being referred to as Cats. actress that got banned from Disneyland, except I think what annoys me too, but this just goes along with celebrities, is that when she was banned for 30 days, she got a call from Disney and was like, what 30 days are you like shooting a movie so it doesn't interrupt your schedule so that it doesn't really like matter? Like what's the 30 days you wouldn't be going to Disney?

Wow. So some people you just really would notice if you couldn't go to Disney for 30 days. That's interesting. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I guess Eddie would notice. right. He probably goes more often than 30 days. No, he's not, he's not to that extent. He goes a lot. He goes a lot. All right, y'all. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Did Justin Bieber marry Haley Baldwin

for a green card? Question mark, question mark, question. It's Canadian. This one comes in from Crystal. It was also sent by Liz. This is what Crystal wrote. Hello, Holden M.J. and Jackie. I came across this conspiracy theory

on TikTok from user, Hey, it's Nikki. She does four part video, four part slash videos explaining the reason why Justin Bieber married Haley Baldwin. We all know Justin is Canadian. And since his work visa was about to expire here in the U.S. and was running out of time, he settled down for Haley Baldwin. Apparently back in 2018, he proposed to Haley two months after the breakup with Selena Gomez. She also mentioned that since Bieber had issues with the law slash criminal record, he couldn't get U.S. citizen or a green card by himself. Thus, he could lose his assets

here in the U.S., meaning he had to marry a U.S. citizen. I love reading comments on TikTok, and people are speculating since they're coming up to five years of marriage, Bebs can get his green card, stay in the U.S., and then get divorced from Haley. Wouldn't it be crazy if that actually happened

later this year? Here's some stuff from the video. Apparently, he would have had to sell all of his masters if he had to return back to Canada. This is like what they're alleging. his speculate or to like maintain his worth or whatever I don't know if any of this is true it speculated he also almost did propose to selima gomez like right before the split like apparently they were together then they were on a break then they got back together yes and um so they're speculating and apparently like a reporter asked him like are you gonna ask selina gomez to marry you or something like a paparazzi chasing him down and his response he had like a glimmer in his eye and he was like like, I don't know, or something like that, but he had kind of a smirk like, yeah, I'm probably going to ask her to marry me.

And then they broke up. And then wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. All of a sudden he's engaged to Haley like months later. So it is kind of interesting. Dude, I so believe. Yeah. This is like, I think that makes a lot of sense because it was very fast after the whole Selena Gomez thing.

And especially all of the like the TikTok man, the worm times I have gone down about. about Haley Bieber and Selena Gomez and like all of this of just like, is Haley Bieber like essentially like single white femaleing Selena Gomez? Like is she just like try like was it all like it did she marry Justin Bieber because she's so obsessed with Selena Gomez? I don't agree with any of this stuff because it's just kind of funny to go into because of the things that she's done that like right after Selena Gomez has done and then she starts doing it. But I do genuinely believe that this could be a possibility. That'd be crazy if they did break up later this year. We'll reference this moment.

Also very hard to prove because they could very well break up later this year just because they're like very young people who are famous and got married. I'm sure it was pretty stressful and totally normal to also break up. But maybe. And because Justin Bieber is going through so many health issues and things like that too, which like that also could be a possibility. but what if it's not. If it lines up with that green card, though,

it's going to be kind of hard to, you know, to look past it. Yeah, dude. Interesting. Do you believe in? Do you believe in, Jay? Do you believe in Jay? Yeah, I believe.

I'm still, I feel like I've literally got a tab open. The Salina Gomez and Haley Bieber social media drama explained. You know, I feel like I'm really trying to catch up on this. Ah, yeah. It's a whole thing, man. It lost me at the whole Kylie Jenner eyebrows conversation, The whole eyebrows thing really kind of hurt my head. But that's so yesterday, so yesterday.

Not a bad day. No. Got my penis jaw. I had a bad day again. She does look like Stephen Baldwin, though. She really does. Yes. If you look at her, you're like, that's a Baldwin.

Oh, yeah. All right, we believe. We believe. There you go. And I guess it's time for the list. I got, oh. Who's on the. list.

Jackie! Gotta have that list. Maybe I chose this list because I now have a bottle of Jason Momoa's Maley vodka in my house. I'm excited about it. But there are a couple of things on here that I didn't know. I don't think I knew that Jeremy Renner is a house flipper. That apparently, Renner's in flipping houses right with Christopher Winters for a while and says he's made more money than from...

acting. He even worked on a house during the award season when he was nominated for best actor for the Hurt Locker. Okay, but what does it mean to be a famous celebrity who flips houses? It just means he gives the money. Somebody else does everything and then he gets to keep the money when they resell it. Probably, but in my head, he's doing all the carpet. Right. He's doing it. He's a property brother. He's a real like army hammer. You know what I mean? He's like keeping women in cages. working on the house every day. But wait, speaking to the property brothers, don't you guys think that Damien from perfect match

looks like the fourth property brother, but in like a bad way? Oh my God, like a terrible way. Yeah, he does have the shark mouth for it. I really don't. I just Damien's such, you know what it is? Damien's me in middle school. Yeah.

Damien is me in middle school. I had the crush on the hot popular girl. I would like do exactly what he was doing in that pool with the French girl where I'm like playing around with her, but I'm constantly looking at the girl I have a crush on. Like he just eaks me out, man. He just, oh, I hate his whole vibe.

He just hate it. He was bad and love is blind and he's bad and perfect match. It says nothing about a person's character when they so, like even if someone really hurts him, and I'm talking about strictly in a reality show setting. Right. That if someone is that dirty to him and for him to still just like, like, simp for her, please.

Please. Please. Please. Please. Oh, you know, I can only count on eight hands how many times he's begged for sex. It is pathetic. Yuck and a half. Please. Please just touch it.

Just touch it. Ew. Please. That yucks me out. Well, we all know that Dwayne Johnson is a producer. Seven bucks productions. Sure. And if I remember correctly, it was because all he had left in his bank account was seven bucks.

Why do you say it like you're so. over the rock. Why do you say it like you're over him? Because I'm not over him. I'm under him. By the way, that was an upset. That was one of the baggage on the TV show baggage. We're doing a watch long where people present their baggage and they have to choose which one. I'm obsessed with the rock. Was one of this person's baggage? That's not baggage. That's a stepping stone. It lifts you up. It's very weird. It's very weird would some people consider baggage, I will just say that. It is, it is, yeah, it's the rock. You know what I mean? It's fine. I mean, I guess it depends on how obsessed. Like if I was going to

hook up with a guy and I went back to his house and there was like rock posters in every room. I guess that's baggage. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I think anybody that obsessed because, again, that's elementary. It's kind of like the middle school thing with Damien. It's a little elementary to be that obsessed with any one thing to the point where you have like posters of it all over your walls.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Also, why do you have posters on your walls? What are you? 17? What are we doing here? Well, you get the poster.

As long as you put them in a frame. You got to put in a frame. You got a frame? I think that really goes to show the difference, though. Like, I think that if you show up in all the posters are at least framed, like if they're framed and signed. But not in those plastic poster frames either. No, like you got it framed. It's a nice frame.

Yeah, yeah. Classist much. Frames are expensive. By the way, frames are expensive. Or, no, you can cover it in the tape, you know, put like the cool tape and make your own, like, tape frame around it. I'm cool with that. But this is coming from a guy who had the ladies. with the pink Floyd album covers painted on their bags poster,

predominantly displayed in his living room in college. So I can imagine that. No excuse. Oh, I had a Bob Marley poster for six years. I can also imagine that. You both got those same posters, probably at the same poster sale. Were we all going to same, like, scholastic book? No, we all went to Spencer's.

No, we went to Spencer's, yeah. And we went there for, like, the cool posters. Yeah, yeah. Everybody went there. We all had the same fucking posters. Fear and Loathing Las Vegas movie posts. Well, maybe we could have gotten a little bit of help from Venus Williams, who has an interior design company.

Williams is also an interior designer who's been running her own firm, V-Star Interiors, for over 10 years. She's traveled the world for inspiration, and her clients include celebs and athletes. I feel like this is where it diverts from like a Jeremy Renner, who most likely is probably just giving money towards. and overseeing the house flipping of things. Dude, this is a passion.

This is like what they would. She would like legitimately be successful at this and making tons of money at this even if the no tennis career happened. Yeah, and that's fucking awesome and shit, man. That is cool. Yeah, like, oh, I'm just one of the best tennis players in the world. Also, very good in interior design, which I feel is an incredible skill. And I know it because I don't have it.

Me too. I feel so just, I have no, which is great. Lexi has more vision on stuff like that, which is, great because I'm like, I have no clue. One of my wishes is that I can only be rich enough to hire someone like this to do and never think, and just be like, I like comfort and blue. You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly you do it.

I want you to do it. I have none of that skill. I don't even have a second of that skill. I want this room to be jazzy. Go. Yeah. And then just like walk away. Yeah.

Oh my God. But then you come back like all the trading spaces. You ever sit? Sometimes if I'm sad. I can't handle the cringy ones. I love watching the cringe ones when they come in and they're just like, I feel so bad. Why did you,

what did you do in here? Sometimes they're mean, man. Sometimes those. Actually, I love cringe stuff and that is legit hard for me to watch when they're really upset about because it's like, I don't know, I think it comes from a place of like,

if someone works really hard and does a lot of work, like I feel so awkward about like hating on it. Like, if I'm, even if I'm watching, like, live comedy and it's dog shit, I feel, I just, like, want to go ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and, like laugh just because I'm like, they're on stage. Yeah. They're working. They're trying. I just feel so bad. I'm totally the same way.

Well, don't worry. Gwyneth Paltrow's on here for being a wellness guru. So we got to give it up for Gwana. That's not even a, yeah, we know. Yeah, what, that's not a side hustle. That is her only hustle. That's her hustle. And Mark Wahlberg, um, bought a bunch of.

bought a Chevy dealership. Again, this is just having money. These are not skills. That's just, if you get a certain amount of rich, you need to put money into stuff like this. And then you make more money by having money. You just like the premise of flipping houses is you have enough money to make more to spend it to make more money. You need to buy parking lots and shit and like have that. There's money in the banana state.

Like, you need to, you know. Yes. And yes, you have to put in the money in the same way that, like, George Clooney with his tequila. And Drake has his own whiskey, apparently, which I didn't know. And, like, all of these, like, booze, the booze ones are fun because I guess they must go and, like, try a bunch of booze and, like, work, right? Yeah, that would be fun. Again, oh, I didn't know his was Casamigos. I like Casamigos.

Yeah, Casimigos is great. Fantastic. Yeah, George Clooney's is his Casamigos. I didn't realize that. That's cool. Yeah. That's one of the ones I like. Yeah, I think to varying degrees,

I think some people really take pride in, like, learning how it's made and getting really in there and, like, really making choices. Well, I know Jason Mamoa did for his vodka, so I am. Does it taste good? Have you tried it? Yeah, it tastes great. Does it taste like strength? Does it taste like beauty?

Yeah, I did, like, I was able to just, like, free climb a wall after it, and I was just like, how am I able to do this? And I was just, like, hanging from the ceiling when you. Jeff came in in like a sexy spider way. And then you like showed him how love making works. Yeah, I shot my eggs all over his face. Right. Like a spider.

Yeah, the you're describing, I think it turned you into a spider woman. I was like, oh my God. She's growing tutorials. I love it. It's beautiful. I'm not a spider. I'm a lady and that's my list.

Oh, and I'm a blind man. Oh, no. But I think I'm going. Blind. It's items. Oh, we can't see them. Here we go. Blind items.

Get ready for it. It looks as if the closeted north of the border singer was once again convinced by his team to sign a bearding contract. They need him back to work and earning money. Having a quote unquote, big air quotes girlfriend gets people drawn into him and his story. And he can claim new music was inspired by her rather than the team of writers who actually wrote it all. So is a musician? Is it? He is...

Drake? No, his last very public relationship was with another singer and was constantly in the blinds for it being a fake relationship because he's secretly gay. Now he's in a new relationship. Sean Mendez.

Yes. I saw that he was in another relationship and I was just like, um, I... She, I really liked her album. Because I was so surprised because I was, I've been waiting for him to come out and I was like,

I thought that that was what was going to be next for him. And it's like a repeat. It's Sabrina Carpenter instead of Camilla Cabello, which is such of like one-to-one, I feel like, in so many ways. You know what I mean? Because they're like up and, you know, not up and coming. They're coming, but they're not coming with him, but they're in the career coming. And, yeah, the two were recently seen out together amid dating rumors. I guess before this, the 24-year-old Mendez was linked with his 51-year-old chiropractor, by the way.

Yeah, which was interesting. and they were apparently hot and heavy, and now he's... A man or a woman? His chiropractor was a woman, interesting. Woman, yeah, yeah. And also he goes to a chiropractor, so that takes him down a couple of notches as well in me brain. But yeah, it's, isn't that kind of, like,

she just came out with this big hit album, really put her on the map. It's almost like the same thing over again as Camilla Cabello, which does make me believe a little bit more that it is like such a tactic from his team. Yes. It's interesting. Whoa.

I could see it. Yeah, match him up. Match him up. Match him up. Next, and next he will be appearing as a son on Milf Manor, which again really proves that he's probably secretly dead. Instead of, here's the next one, instead of denying she gets work done, this former A-list singer, I don't know why it says former A-plus list. This A-list singer who is also hosted slash judged, embraced it, and is now getting paid. a bunch of money to promote it.

That is the way to do it. Bit of a positive blind. Instead of denying she gets worked on, she's, this A-List singer, embraced it, and is now getting paid money to promote it. Madonna? No. No, younger.

She's a judge on a singing show. Yeah, our generation. More our generation coming up. Christina Aguilera. Yes. And Ziamen. And this is kind of cool. And I like this kind of positive blind.

Links to an article on the people website titled Christina Aguilera says, aging is a personal conversation as she unveils first injectables partnership. Ziamen is an anti-wrinkle injection used to improve the look of frown lines, and Aguilera has stepped in as brand partner for their beauty on your terms campaign. This is kind of interesting because it's, I think one of the first of this, I think Gwyneth Paltrow also had some kind of sponsor, but she's whatever, but this is, yeah, I think it's what do you think about, yeah, what do you think about that, Jackie? I say own it, man. Yeah. I think, you know,

you do whatever for you, if it's not bothering anyone, it's not for anybody else, if you're doing it for yourself. And I think that like talking about it, especially if you're able to talk about it in therapy and stuff like, I guess someone that I did before I did Botox was just like, am I like giving in to this?

And like talking about it's like, but why are you doing it? Are you doing it for yourself? What are the reasons of what you're doing it? I think it starts the conversation as it should start the conversation. Because many people are against it. And that's fine. Don't do it.

And this is no reason. You don't have to do it. This is assuming Z-M-N. It's X-E-O-M-I-N, I think. I mean, I don't know anything about the actual. I can't speak for. Right. Yeah, I can't speak for that.

So I don't know. Yeah, this is like, we're in a world where this isn't like an evil company that she's supporting, like, with what is what we're saying. What do you think, M-J? Yeah, I mean, I think, like, demystifying it and putting out in the open is, is really good. You know, I think, I like that. Obviously, like, there's, it's like no secret that famous people do work and get plastic surgery,

but also even though it's no secret, it still is this kind of like, there's still so much judgment around it. And it's like, oh, did she get work? Oh, she got work. And we talk about how like some people, they get just so much cheeks, like the Jen Shaw thing, you know. But like I think that for,

if you're talking about like regular people looking up to celebrities, I think it's good to be like, I don't just look like this. You know, I look like this because it costs thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. and like a whole team of people, you know, and the best minds of science. Yeah, yeah.

The Kardashians of the world who try to like say they didn't, you know what I mean? It's the same thing with like the ripped crazy, you know, you were just talking about this with physical 100. The fucking steroid users that try to act like they're all natural. And it's like totally obvious. And the same thing with, I forget what the Kardashians recently were like, yeah, we don't use any of this or do any, you know what I mean?

It's like, yeah, you do. it's obvious. So shut up. Yeah. Like fucking be honest. Yeah. And right. And, you know, the thousands of dollars that the Kardashians must spend on makeup, like, per month. And there's nothing wrong with makeup. It's just, again, if you are a regular person and you look at the Kardashians, you think like, man, I'm never going to look that good. It's because, like, there's, it's nothing. I mean, some of times it's because people hit the genetic lottery. But a lot of times it's just because they have a lot of money to help themselves realize how they want to look, you know. Well, lately, too, it's the speculation is, I think I had a celebrity conspiracy that I may eventually use, but the speculation is it's this new diabetes medication. Oh, yeah, Ozambic, the weight loss thing. Yeah, that the Kardashians and other people are using in this love world. And it's expensive as fuck.

And also, yeah, there's just such a loaded history of weight loss pills that I'm like, those things, you know, are a little bit scary. Oh, it does the whole thing. It makes you think you're full when you're not. And it's this. And it's like thousands of dollars to, to purchase it, you know, and they're all apparently using it and, like, acting like, I just, I get up at five of the morning, whatever. Like, there was some Instagram. I forgot who, which one it was, but she was like, Chloe or whoever. It was like, I get up every money at five and I fucking work out.

And that's why. And everyone's like, we know you're using the fucking medication. I mean, there are some people that do just do that, though, which I say Mazel. And Mazel. And I think she does do that. I also think she also does other stuff. Yes. You know what I mean?

And I think it's kind of obvious, you know. Also, I just want to say real quick, I looked up the 51-year-old chiropractor that Sean Mendes was supposedly dating. Wow. She's hot? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was curious to be like, yeah, I thought it was going to be like, it's like, no, I really like her.

It's going to be like this like some like, oh. No, she's just like a really, like naturally hot woman that does not look like she was 50. Oh, yeah, she looks great. You haven't seen that look yet. at MJ, but there's one son in there who's like, I gotta get out of here. And I'm like, I'm just not attracted to these milfs. Like, he literally

just says that. Yeah, I've been waiting for someone to say that. Yes. What if, what if you, I just feel like you're not opening yourself up. You need to just spend more time. He's like, I'm not attracted to any of these women. But that goes to show, can I just say a little bit further, that it is correct

that they thought that they were going there to help their moms get late, but not that they were supposed to fuck the other. I think, like, I'm pretty sure that some of them actually genuinely

were in the dark about them. And talk about work. I mean, when you watch Move Manor, it's just like, some of these women aren't even that much older

than us, 10 years older than us, 15 years older. And they look like a Frankenstein's monster that has been brought back from the dead because of the amount

of work they have had done. And I've tried. I truly tried to not be like judgey about the choices that people make, but it's like, it's just, I don't blame a son for being at this place, not even knowing that he was going to have to fuck Milfs and be like, I'm sorry, like, one of them in particular, Kelly, I'm talking to you, you look scary. It's not working. Your choices that you've made, you look like a scary person.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And there's this whole new thing where we're just supposed to be attracted to everybody and it's just like, people have types. And a 22-year-old generally is probably going to be more. drawn to women his own age, which is healthy. I'm sorry to even say this to you, but it did preview next week's episode where they bring in,

I guess all of them also have daughters. Oh my God, that's right. Bringing in their daughters. To see if they'll be tempted. To see if the boys are tempted. I forgot about that. God damn it, I can't wait for Sunday. So we're going to bring in some good, like,

sister possessiveness dynamics into us. And temptresses and like, do you want to call me and my mom. Me and my mom. Which one do you? A healthy competition between daughters and mothers. That's going to be something that goes really well. Especially with all of these women are psychopath.

Me and mom. Me and Jackie. Could you imagine how fun that would be? How much fun we'd all have is a community to see. Zabrowski, Milf Manor. I mean, come on. Get us on there. All right.

This is the last slide. Another north of the border. North of the Border, former A-list, actress-slash, mostly cover model, the world knows, was forced to leave out a story in her book about a very, very, very divisive figure with whom she once hooked up. It would have alienated half the book buying customers. Pamela Anderson. Yes. And this person's in politics for... Now I just say, man, I've been killing this.

Bluntly... Yeah, it has been. By the way, holy shit, dude. Thank you. Thank you. No shit. But can you guess the other person? It would be divisive.

They did in... Have you watched the documentary? No, I haven't. Okay. This person is like in the documentary, mentioned in the documentary. It's someone she met in her fight for animal rescue stuff. It's someone who we generally, as a country,

view as a villain of the world, right? Especially right now more than ever. Because they're very warring, let's say. Vladimir Putin? Yes. Wait, what? Really? What?

Wait a second. Vladimir Putin is in that documentary. Vladimir Putin's in the documentary because... She fucked Putin? This is what it's speculating. Anderson contacted the Russian leader to get him to ban seal clubbing in Russia several years ago. And that was in the dock. Like, there's a scene of her meeting with Putin in this, like, boardroom to talk about animal rights stuff.

And he did agree to, like, change some animal right shit in Russia, which is kind of nuts. And later, Putin did apparently ask her to be at his inauguration in 2012. as his special guest, which sparked rumors of a secret romance. Wow. I was not expecting that. No. Isn't that crazy? I was like Tim Allen, you know, like thinking of like who would be like divisive in the U.S.

So I'm glad you guys got it. Yeah. Wow. I was like I have to come up with a lot. He rides a bear. You know what I mean? He's going to sort of say it. Also, just sorry, real quick.

Just got an email. Jeremy Renner's Renovations gets Disney Plus premiere date. Oh, God. He's using it all over the place. This fucking guy. He is going to be a property brother. Why does he make me roll my eyes so much?

I'm sorry that he got run over with his own snowplow, obviously. He's green arrow. Anybody who's going to be green arrow is going to make you do that, I feel like. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's an eye-roly. What about his music? That's also eye-roly, isn't it? Isn't it?

Yeah. I'm pretty sure we rolled our. eyes about it here on the show. So much. It is. Well, there you go. That is the blind items, and that is, I assume, our show. Thank you so much.

Everybody for joining. It is our show. And also, I want to say, have a great Oscars weekend to everybody because Oscars weekend. It's also daylight savings time. Whoa, really? Yeah. We lose.

We lose. No, we lose it. Oh, gosh. We lose one hour of sleep. But we get sunlight. Hello. Why are we? Why are we groaning?

It's good. We live in Los Angeles and just. You can take some of our sunlight. Yeah, we'll share some with you. Absolutely. Will a man be slapped this year? Oh my God. Tune in to find out.

What's going to happen? Thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode of page seven. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You follow us on TikTok over at page 7 LPN. And come and check out my Twitch channel, twitch. TV forward slash, oh no, it's Jackie on Sundays. And Tuesdays we talk to a sex therapist and you should totally join for that. And it's a late night one and we have so much fun.

And Wednesdays I play Sims and on Sundays I play dating simulator games. And lately, oh man, did we get fucked over by the sport martial arts? Because yes, we are trying to have sex with personified sports right now. And martial arts broke our hearts. There you go. It'll happen. Uh, Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast weekly bonus episodes. We do the leftovers. We've got articles to talk about right after this that we haven't even covered on the show. So tune in for that on Patreon for $5 a week. Also, ad free episodes for, I'm sorry, for $5 a month weekly episodes and ad free episodes. Also for $10 a month you can join us for our Discord watch long. We're watching currently Flavor of Love. It's amazing. We have so much fun. And, and, and, and, and, Twitter. Twitch.TV forward slash Holdenatres Ho. Monday through Friday streams. Always a blast.

Jack and the Holdies every Friday. 6 p.m. E. E.T. We have so much fun. Come hang out with us. It's the place to be. Uh, MJ? My name is MJ and I'm MJ K.L. Kat on Insta. You sure are. There you go. Oh, also write in page 7podcast at gmail.com. The numeral 7. Thank you so much for all your conspiracies and everything of the like. All right. Shout out song. Shout out. shout Let it all out

These are the emails That you wrote it about Come on We're gonna read them to you Come on Thank you all for sending in your shoutouts It makes me smile every week And you can send in your own shoutouts

To page 7 podcast at gmail.com Or heck whatever you'd like I'm really enjoying everyone's versions of punishments that they have sent in. And so much love to you guys. Thank you so much for taking the time just to hit us up, just to send a little love. It always makes me feel good,

and I really, really appreciated, especially when we get things like Holden looks don't matter. McNeely. I love you guys so much. And we've got some great self-shoutouts today, and oh, I love self-shoutouts. Let's jump into the first one. This comes in from Alonzo Rain on Me.

They said, I wanted to give a little shout out to myself. In the past week, I've not only come out as gay to my dad and sisters, but my entire extended family as well. I've been so lucky to be supported by all of them, and it reminds me of the care you showed all of the people who write into you. Thank you so much for saying that. I also started a new job as a travel nurse this past week, and I'm so, immensely grateful to be making double what my old shitty dead-end job was paying and experiencing

half the stress as well. It feels like I'm really turning over a new leaf in my life, and I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings, and I'm so grateful to have y'all along for the ride every step of the way. Oh my God, congratulations Alonzo Rain on me. We've got some amazing congratulations going out today, and what a way to kick it off. Thank you so much for sharing. Oh, so much love and luck I send you to. Moving on to Shelley's self-shadow out because, oh, what an amazing community we've got here. They say, my name is Shelley and I am a longtime LPN fan. I wanted to shout out me and my little family.

I will be turning 40 on March 23rd, as well as rapidly approaching one year of sobriety. These upcoming milestones have been cause of much reflection on where I am at in my life. One thing I have landed on is that I would be alone or dead if it weren't for my husband, Mason, and sweet daughter, Frances, who has heard more page 7 than I should probably admit. They have had front row seats to all my struggles. Going into the pandemic, I had already started to drink in earnest. Trying to mitigate the stress of a long-awaited promotion ended up being only the beginning of my ever-increasing anxiety issues.

Once March of 2020 hit, I found myself having to lay off the first important. employee I had ever hired, working from home and helping my daughter as she went to first grade every day over Zoom. I already suffered from panic attacks and anxiety, so needless to say I was struggling. I eventually quit that job for fear of getting fired and began drinking every day while my poor family watched. It took about two years of this peppered with multiple hospital stays for me to reach my rock bottom. Thankfully, my family loved me enough to never give up on me. Mason found me an amazing 30-day treatment facility, and on May 27, 2022, I finally got sober. With tears in my eyes, I can say with all my heart, I would never have made it without Mason

and with his intense love and compassion, as well as Francis with her humor and unfailing belief in me. We did it, though, and we are still doing it. I want to thank you guys as well for bringing joy into my life in some of my darkest times. Thank you so much, Shelly. Thank you so much for sharing this. And I'm so proud of you for taking control over something that is just so fucking difficult to do. And also, Shelly says, thank you for all you do. This is scary to me. But my Instagram is at Shelly Nauffel.

It is S-H-E-L-L-E-Y-N-O-F-T-L-L-E for anyone looking for a sober L-P-N-N-F-N-F-N-F-N. Thank you so much, Shelly, for sharing that. And I really appreciate you doing that because sometimes you just, need to reach out to someone who has been through the terror and who has gotten through it, and I'm so fucking proud of you. Again, that's at Shelley Knopfell. That's S-H-E-L-L-E-Y-N-O-F-T-L-E-E. Love you so much.

Now, we've got another huge congratulations coming down the pipeline. I want to send a huge congratulations to Dahlia. Congratulations, and thank you so much for sending in your shout-out. Dahlia says, I really wanted to give the biggest shes. shout out I can to my incredible wife, Susie. We have spent the last seven years together and celebrated five years of marriage on Halloween last year. We've been through so many challenges in life and have overcome every single one of them. From losing our home years ago, to traveling around the U.S., to being abducted by Scientologists, long story, to moving to Maine

and away from everyone we've ever known, to having a beautiful daughter amidst the pandemic in 2020, and lastly, to me, coming out to her finally as transgender. Susie is a literal godsend. She's so strong and powerful and resilient and kind and truly just the most incredible person you would ever meet. She's never faltered at giving me strength, pushing me to be the best I can be, and pulling me out of the darkest moments.

She deserves the moon but would never ask for it. Oh! When we had our daughter, Emily's, in the midst of the pandemic, she never showed fear. She took it all in stride and has been the most amazing mama to our little spitfire. I just know Emily's is going to be an incredible person one day because of who her mama is. In January of last year, I finally revealed my oldest secret, something I was so afraid of telling her because I didn't want to lose the most amazing person I've ever met. I came out to her as transgender.

and she stayed. She is my number one supporter, and just like everything else in my life, she took it in stride, and has done everything she possibly could to help me live my truth and be happy. She's an inspiration to me for the kind of woman I want to be.

Through all of my hormone, addled mood swings and crying, she keeps on loving me and helps me through every moment. Thank you so, so much for the opportunity to give her a shout out like this. We love you guys, and I love you, Dolly. and so much love to you, Susie.

Congratulations, and I'm so proud of you both. Oh my God, just the biggest hugs I'm sending you. And last but not least, we've got a shout out from Jeremy to another love partner. It's a love partner shout out. Jeremy is sending the shout out to their mermaid queen Bree. Jeremy says, My amazing mermaid queen Bree recently reached out with a shout out

and has helped me through the rough time of losing my mother and coming to terms with late 30s orphan life. This woman has always been incredible and the most loving person I've ever met. She is in her heart a fifth grader for life and is in all accounts a true free spirit writing her own rules in the story of life. She has taken my nerdy, moody son as her own from day one and was always adored by my late crass caring mother. Bree, I can't wait to be your husband and continue to swim through the waves of the chaotic, comical world with you.

Oh, love Jeremy! I love your love and I love everybody. Thank you so much for being a part of our family and for supporting each other. I hope you guys have an amazing week. Thank you again for your shoutouts and you can send them in to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. So much love to you. I hope that you treat yourself well. I hope you treat others well.

And I hope you, have a great week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.