Page 7 - Ep. 487: Wynnie's World

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

This week we're gossin' 'bout a pirates life not being okay for Jackie, the status of a certain Floridian Juggalo, Goop testifying at the ski accident trial (she lost half a day of skiing 😥), nine year old North West launching a skincare line (and not to be outdone Holden puts Wynnie to work), Romy Mars created a video masterpiece to rival her grandfather's, everyone wondering Y Grimes changes Exa Dark Sideræl Musk to ? Musk, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Did Orville Peck and Diplo be BANGIN'?!??A VERY superstitious list and BLIIIINDS.  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A pirate's life for me. We pillage, we blunder, with rifle and loot. Drink up my heart as yo-ho. We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot. Drink up me heart is yo-ho. Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me. Have you read the lyrics to a pirate's life for me in a while? Because I never, because usually I go,

la-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ha. And I say that instead. But it is very, man. Pirates. Problematic. I would, I dare say it's problematic. Are we canceling pirates? I, I am not canceling pirates because I went to Pirate Fest over the weekend.

So if you're canceling pirates and dressing up as a pirate, I am certainly first on the chopping block. And I guess I give myself as tribute. Well, I'm going to go ahead and say, I'm researching insane clown posse for Wards and the Bruiser. And man, if you want to talk about going back to some lyrics that might disturb and upset you, stay away from their first album. Oh, yeah, no, don't worry. I wasn't planning on going anywhere near it. I am, I'm a juggalo sympathizer. I'm not, I'm not anti-jugolo.

I love my love. I'm not trying to talk shit to the loz right now, bros. I love, man. I've never listened to a Lowe Lose and St. Clown Pussy has. A shocking amount. I don't think I've ever. It seems like a real fish thing where it's like you can have a whole lifestyle

based on this. I mean, actually, totally in every way. You just brought me right to it. One of my favorite books ever written about, especially about fandoms. You don't like, you don't know me, but you don't like me. And it is about fish heads and juggaloes, and it is so entertaining. I must have had that kernel of truth put in my head from you. I love juggaloes, but when you're dating in Florida, you happen to interact.

And if you're someone like myself that chooses people for the stories sometimes, you'll find yourself with some juggaloes or juggolettes that may not have the same moral standings that you have. That's okay. Yeah. But just not for me to be dating. Sounds like it wasn't okay for you. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't okay for me. And I think that growing up and living in Florida for a long time might change some of how you feel about just the idea. Did these people have upsetting nicknames?

Squeezy, you mean? I'm not talking about these squeezy. I'm not talking about like our, you know. You know Squeezy, Squee. This was a different, it was S-Q-U-E-E-Z-I-E. They spelled it often. Yes. With graffiti paint, I'm guessing.

Yeah, yeah, Squeez-Y. Wait, who's the other Squeezy? Who's the Squeezie we love? Yeah, what is the squeasy. We all know it. You know, squeezy? It's like, who the fuck is this? I know we need to talk about your pirate festival, Jackie.

I know I need to know. I'm talking about S-K-W-E-E-Z-Y, Squeezy for real. Squeez-y's great. Can he give me the elevator pitch on who that squeezy's? he is because I don't know who you're talking about. Oh, he always wears a sideways baseball hat. Squeezzy Jibs is the comedy alter ego of Tim Savage, who has proved a huge hit with the internet audiences, particularly in America being dubbed comedy gold by the likes of Bored Panda.

So I've heard any of this before. I think I'll keep going because I know you haven't across various platforms with well over half a million fans and followers across the likes of Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and the universe. Squeezzy. Wow. The squeezy. But my squeezy was a different squeezy.

Maybe I shouldn't call him my squeezy necessarily. Sounds like he was your squeezy, Jackie. Because we had one crazy night. And I will hopefully never see Squeezy ever get. Unless Squeezy listens. And if you do right in to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. I never talk about stories about boys on podcasts ever since I learned the hard way that sometimes the boys you talk about listen to the podcast. But if this somehow gets back to your Florida juggalo Squeezy,

I think we call that a victory. I think we say hi Squeezy. I hope you had fun with Jackie. Whip, whip, family, bro. Yeah, man. And who knows? Maybe he's not a juggalo anymore. I don't know what happened to Squeezy or his life.

This was before, you know, well, I guess you don't ever really follow someone that is a one-night stand. But, you know, sometimes you can check in on him. I don't even know his real name. What do you think the person? percentage chance of just straight up dead is. What do you think the percentage? I don't want to put that on him because I don't know where maybe

his life, like maybe he's trying to be governor. He's listening. He's like, man, I'm not dead. Or he is dead and like a loved one of Squeezy, the Juggalo from Florida is listening and they're like, I can't believe they're laughing at the memory of Squeezy. I'm sorry. Who's worse? Squeezie or gronky? Which one

is more upsetting? Oh my God. Well, I will say Squeezy didn't talk about his asshole as much as Gronky talks about his asshole. I'm not going to say he didn't bring it up. He didn't come up and lose lots of twice. He's in chuggler, bro. And you can't even say he never talks about his asshole. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure Gronky talks about his asshole more.

Oh, for sure. That'll take him down a couple of notches at least. I was trying to talk about the pirate festival. All right. Tell us about your pirate festival. It was great. I dressed up like a pirate and so did Jeff. Jeff and I both dressed up.

but we did post pictures. I finally bought my own set of horns because I'm a monster fucker. Nice. Now I get to be the monster as well. I'm of the monstrous dress, if you will. And I'm very excited about any horns. I think there were a lot of monster fuckers at the Pirate Festival. Oh, yeah.

And shoutouts to everybody I met at the Pirate Fest. I feel like, especially dressing like I was in Akitar really made me feel my essence for the first time. I think I made for corsets. I know that you shouldn't say that, but like there's just something about the way of shape. Yeah, yeah, no, you definitely rock a corset very well. Yeah, I just, I think I'm not saying that I'm not going to like corset train or anything like that. I don't, I'm not trying to make it make my waist smaller. I think you should bind your feet a little bit.

Oh, I've done that for years. Why do you think I'm wearing these baby shows? Tiny baby shows! You can't see it in a little tiny baby shoes. It's horribly disturbing. I can't walk. I'm going to see the more horrific than that.

I'll fall over. What if I had been binding that'd be incredible years? I need the mental image if you lived here but of it just a little tiny baby shoe is the funniest fucking shit ever to me now. Also the idea that Holden

and I just spent, you know, two months with you and we like didn't notice that your feet were going to smaller. Right. You had just these tiny little feet. You thought that you accidentally brought like Freddy's shoes with you and I'm like, those are mine.

MJ. How dare you judge me? The Fire Fest is great and I don't want to be a pirate because it doesn't like, I don't think that fits in with like my whole like I don't like to be dirty kind of thing. I don't know if like cleanliness is the number one priority to a pirate. Yeah. But I will say, I am going to be going to the L.A. Renfest now. Oh my God.

This is a slippery slope, Jackie. I need to get this off my chest because I went to the part. Pirate Fest and part of me went back into bully middle school, like early high school version of me and it was just like, oh, God, I can't believe I'm doing this. Jackie was trying to like, be like, oh, Pirate Fest, right? Everybody in chat and myself was like, sounds great. I would love to go to Pirate Fest. You know what I mean?

And she's just like, I don't know, Pirate Fest, you know, I guess I look real lame, right, guys. Somebody want to pants me over here? We're like, no, it genuinely sounds like fun. Can I go to Pirate Fest? You know what I mean? It was like, yeah, yeah. I've never, like, dressed up at a Renfair. Like, I've been to one Renfair once, and now I'm worried because it's like, oh, this is why,

this is why all the theater kids love it and why all the musical theater kids love it because it's like, they're singing and you're dressing up and you're pretending to be somebody else. And it's just so much fun. Yeah. And then, you know, you start kissing, you've got horns on. I don't know what's going on. Yeah. No, this is going to become your lifestyle now.

Yeah, it is out of your home. You are like, you're a too small. steps away from being like a full red and fair person. You're so close to it and it's so fun to see. I mean, wow, you've really come a long way, Jackie. You played a D&D style tabletop game a couple years ago.

We're preparing to be doing a D&D stream here pretty soon. Over with Dr. Jordan, who it's going to be sex themed. Oh, wow. And her partner is working on it right now. And so who have I become? I used

to make merciless fun. of Henry, but also that's because he wouldn't allow me to join his D&D games. Right. So maybe it had a little bit of something to do with that. But Dr. Jordan, who I do talk in sex with on Tuesdays over on my Twitch channel, I met up with her because she is a sex therapist in Las Vegas. So I went to Vegas for this Pirate Fest, and we're going to start trying to make more content together, trying to, we might get pelvic exams together.

Wow. I feel like I'm like, I don't know how I feel. Not, I don't think in the same room. Right. It's not like a couple's massage. And we're holding hands and we're going, ooh. There's like that music playing. Yes.

Ambiguous like creek music playing. I would love to record music for instances just like that. You know, it just made me realize like there's so much of that shit and it's just what, so whatever. And people get probably paid thousands upon thousands of dollars to just make a little ding. Dung Me It's just like It's just nonsense

It's just stupid And they get paid We got to get into this racket This is a racket I love a good racket You want to make the music That plays during a pelvic exam That's

Yeah That's where all the money is MJ Don't you see? We've been missing out on this money For our entire adult experiences Yeah We've got to create You know

Experience is the right word We've got to create experiences for people while they're getting their shit fucking ripped out of them. Whatever they do during these stupid ass exams. I don't know because I'm a dude. Oh, fart, fart, fart, fart. Let us remember that last week you expressed some anxiety about your upcoming prostate exam. So, you know, you'll get to experience something similar. Some level of uncomfort, but you're going to be fine.

But I understand your anxiety. But do you understand the anxiety that Goop is undergris? going right now on trial. I've never, this is the widest trial. People say, to ever take place. I cannot believe how it just keeps giving. It's a giving tree of a trial as well. It just keeps giving.

When Holden and I are forced to sing any kind of rap song on Fridays, people say it's the widest thing that they've ever seen. But I think I dare say this is at least 300% wider. It's so funny. And it's, I, every little detail that comes. out. I mean, obviously you see headlines like the victim is claiming you can no longer enjoy wine tasting

the way he used to. Which to be fair, it was a long list of things he can't enjoy. And wine tasers was one of them. Like his family, his entire family. I don't know what is going on with this guy. Because like, you get hit once and all of a sudden you just

become like a torrible father? I don't, what is this? I can't tell if he's a if he's a Guedithalchro chaser. You know, if this is all totally trumped, I don't know who to sympathize with. I'm actually trying to figure it out. The thing, at the end of the day, he has to have had the broken ribs. Let's, first of all.

Let's go back to what is, what is this trial? If you've seen, like, blips about this trial, let me clarify for you. So, essentially, this dude, Dr. Terry Sanderson, got in a ski crash with Gwyneth Paltrow in 2016. He is now suing her for $300,000 for damages. to himself, also the wine tastings that he can't. I know there's other things, but also I love that the headlines have to choose that he doesn't enjoy his wine. It is great, because it does give you an idea of like, yes, Gwyneth Paltrow, richest,

most annoying person you could picture. And that headline just gives you a little idea. This is also a very rich and annoying person. Yes. And so Gweth Paltrow is countersuing him for $1. And she is citing that he crashed into her when Dr. Terry Sanderson says that she crashed into him. Right.

So there is a huge, and it is two completely different stories. It's not like, oh, there's just a little bit like, oh, I guess I could see that happening. They both have absolute opposite talkins about what is going on here. And he does seem to be almost as insufferable as she is. I watched too much because you can see so much of this trial. And I've been watching so much of this. I think the craziest part, to me, is, because I saw a super cut of the prosecuting attorney just loving goop. It is the most unprofessional display of trialing, of lawyering.

I think I've ever seen it in my life. Are you talking about when the plaintiff's lawyer asked, may I ask how tall you are to Gweth Paltrow? And she says, I'm just under 5'10. The lawyer says, I'm so jealous. Paltrow says, I think I'm shrinking, though. The lawyer says, I have to wear four-inch heels just to make it to five-five. Paltrow says, well, they are very nice. They're nice heels.

There's so much of that open flirting in the courtroom. If I was this old man, I would be fucking furious with my attorney. I think I would have fired her after the first day talking to win it like that. So I saw an interesting thread about this from a lawyer. And I don't, I have not been following the. trial closely enough. Like I said, I feel like my instincts are, like, is this person suing Guedith Palo because he thinks he could get a big payday from it? Sure seems possible. Also seems possible. But he's also very rich. I'll throw that out there.

Which, yeah, which doesn't, I don't, they're all a ski resort. Rich people go to. Like, there's no, Goup is not going to go to, like, a normy ski resort. It's going to go to, like, an absurdly expensive ski resort. Yeah, right. I don't know enough about the specifics of the trial about who to sympathize with. It's totally possible. that... No one. Yeah, right. They're all annoying.

But I did see an interesting thread that's basically about... It was from a public defender saying that this is not necessarily a bad cross-exam and may actually be a very good one. And kind of basically, she explains that the...

In this, and I'm sure a lot of people probably seen the Supercut where she's just totally flaunting over Gwyneth Paltrow. That, of course, in a courtroom, it's like theater. and sometimes your job as a lawyer is to disarm the witness, you know, to make them let their guard down, you know, make them laugh, get them to commit to certain answers.

And so this thread from their Twitter handle is a little leader, a little leader to the public defender. But anyway, explains kind of some of the theatrics of what sometimes lawyers might want to do. Okay. And that maybe disarming Gwyneth Paltrow in this case might, you know, might have been a tactical move. But I asked Gideon about it last night. He said he hasn't been following it at all, but he was like, to me, it just looks like a person who literally is fan-girling over Guinezbo. Right. I think that's the problem is the power dynamic.

If it was just some, any person, random person on trial, it would be one thing. But the fact that it's goop and all the things that come with that and then the way she's acting towards her. And come on, we got to talk about the T. Swift thing. Oh, of course. Here's the thing. You guys remember back in the day that Taylor Swift also did a countersuit. and I believe that was for the paparazzi grabbing her ass. Yeah, and she did a countersuit on the,

because, yeah, she got sued for the guy's career being ruined. Boo-hoo! And then she countersued in one and got a dollar, a symbolic dollar. So, and, like, someone posted there's pictures of T. Swift with Gwyneth Paltrow at, like, events, like, for pictures and stuff. Like, they're clearly, like, I mean, and I do actually, in hindsight, I realize, like, again,

you're thinking about it tactically. Like she's not just like wanting to find out whether or not Goop is friends with T. Swift because she's also like a T Swift fan, which is definitely how it comes off. But I think she's trying to say, this woman lies. Right. She's lying right now. But still, it is so funny because she goes in so hard on whether or not she's friends with Taylor Swift. And it is so funny.

She's like, would you consider yourself friends? And she's like, I wouldn't consider ourselves close friends. And she's like, did you like, she's like, I took my kids to a concert once. And it is really fun to watch. It's so funny. Because the other lawyer is objecting and the judge and Guadeth Paltrow obviously has no idea what to do. And she has this like, Guadeth Paltrow has such like smirk, you know?

She's just like, she really does. That's her whole thing though, right? Her whole thing is her whole thing I think, you know, how I say, I always get annoyed at people who like first fall in love with someone and then they show up to the next friend hang and they're acting all weird and they're like, I've got the secret. Yeah. I've got the secret to life. You don't know it.

It's love. And I found love in a way no one's found love. And you're like, bitch, we've all found fucking love before like that. All right. You're just in the haze of it. And that's like I feel like what she does but in life in general. And the secret is her head so far up her own ass. Yes.

That is so funny. Yeah. I mean, even the lawyer said to Gwyneth Paltrow, you're small but mighty. Actually, you're not that small. I don't imagine someone just saying that to you just anyway. Actually, you're not that small. And also, someone called me small but mighty, which I am. Yes, thank you.

Tiny and mighty, I know I always say it about you. Everybody. I mean, look at my feet. Oh, my God, I don't think it's smaller. It's a smaller baby shoe. It used to be pretty shoes now with Zelda shoes. Oh, my God. I do love them.

I really wish I had a tiny foot right now. I wish I had a baby shoe on. I just love it as a reveal. I know that I'm doing this And no one can see me doing it Like to sell the bit It's working as you know It helps us for sure

I This watching her fits And watching just the look on her face Throughout this trial Has been And I hate to say this Maybe it's just because of the years Of us being plagued by Goop

And just the idea of Goop and her yoni eggs that they still sell on Goop there's just something I just I want I want to watch every inch of her face and just to watch

it's like oh is she gonna react I mean she can barely react because talk about Frozen and I'm not talking about like I don't even mean like injections or anything I mean she's just a very stone faced woman yeah that's the thing she actually doesn't look like

she's like you know filler into Olivia at all. She looks like, I think she's aging actually like pretty like amazingly for, like she looks like she's 50, you know, and she looks like she's aging. She looks great. She looks fantastic. Yeah, you've been frozen like in my sex life sense.

Yeah, right, right, right, right. Like as a person, like how frozen Holden is. In bed. Sexually, yeah. Totally. Yeah, but like, how frozen is in bed, but like for life, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm just, I'm just banging away going, let it go. Let it go.

Absolutely terrified. Do you want to build a snowman? She's like, no, not here, not during sex. You know what I mean? That song's inappropriate. It is funny that her, when she first originally said, so what she's claiming is that he hit her and that the skis went between her skis and hit her in the back.

And so she said, I was skiing and two skis came between my skis, forcing my legs apart. And there was a body pressing against me. and there was a very strange grunting noise. What? My brain was just trying to make sense of what was happening. I thought, is this a practical joke? Is someone like doing something perverted?

This is really, really strange. So that is also her quote that has gone viral. That's how she describes getting bumped to it too. I've gone skiing. I can't even picture this happening. Yeah, the problem is, especially if there's all this money and the lawyers and stuff, they're all being trained like dogs to play up their stuff. side as heavily as possible. That's why he's like, my family won't talk to me anymore because I hit

this woman on skis. Well, it's also at the same time, this dude, because again, I watched too much of this, they also like went into real hard on Terry Sanderson's daughter because I guess they had, he had like a really rough divorce from his wife. And in the divorce proceedings, her sisters said that he was verbally abusive and had anger issues. And then they actually asked the daughter, like, so does he have anger issues? Like, would you say that he, and then at one point that Goop's lawyer says, do you think that your father is anal retentive? And the woman is just like, anal retentive.

I mean, like, what does even that mean? And at one point, the lawyer goes, I mean, anal, it does sound like that. But no, anal retentive. I mean, I don't have the definition. What? What is going on? What is happening? This is so weird.

Aren't these rich people? Like that's the thing. That's why you don't expect this kind of stuff. Because you're like, aren't these like the best lawyer's money can fucking buy? Yeah, you're thinking it would be not that every single thing that came out of their mouth wouldn't be a giant mess.

But perhaps this shows that it's all a mess. There's that master cut of the goop attorney also just having such a hard time like walking the court through what happened. He's just talking like a man with dementia or something. Like it's so bizarre. Or is it possible? And I honestly don't know. this because I don't really watch trials very often.

Right. But I have seen a lot of Law and Order SVU. So I don't know if like everything I know about a trial is from Law and Order and that's why I'm like, this isn't. It's like they haven't even been on the trial. It's like they've never even watched Law & Order before. Yes. So I also don't know which level of that in my head of like, work on your lines, damn it.

But I love the idea that it's like Gideon or somebody would be like, yeah, that's what we do. We pretend on purpose to look and sound. like idiots so that we can, you know what I mean? Like, so we can sway the, you know, or something like. I mean, trial lawyers will tell you fascinating stories, right? Right, right. You know, stories about.

And it is theater. It's totally. And there is, like, there is, like, I have found it really fascinating and fun to learn about, like, you write, a trial lawyer might look like a bumbling person who doesn't remember the facts when they're questioning a witness. But really, they know that they're getting the witness to perjure themselves or whatever. You know, like, it is, it is like a.

really fascinating thing. And I feel like, I mean, just the little tiny bit that I know about civil suits is that they're really like long and training and especially like any traumatic brain injury stuff. It's just like your whole life gets put through the, the ringer. And I mean, I've really, I mean, Gideon obviously is usually representing people who've been beaten up by the police, like not this. Right. But it's just like, why would you?

I would love to see Gideon and try like this just being like, can you all just fucking get over it. There's real shit going on out there. There's like men being stabbed in the street by men in, you know, uniform. What are we doing here? But it's like if you are Terry Sanderson and you're just trying to like, you know, a gold dig, ambulance chase, whatever, Gwyneth Peltro, like, you now have your entire,

like, history as a father being poured through, you know, people, like, you really want your children to be on the stand being like, well, he was like erratic and angry before he got hit with the ski. but then he became more in erratic and angry after. It's so hard to prove any of that. Yeah, like really and it doesn't mean that like TBI stuff isn't like real and like

but like the fact that this is like about TBI but what's at question is like whether this man became like meaner and like more out of it after Quiddot of Paltrow crashed into him on skis. It's just like this is a mess. This is like a it's like a

it's like a slapstick like a night it's truly like Buster Keaton style slap. courtroom adventure. And everything I'm hearing about it is just the funniest shit. And it's not like, I feel like, you know, the whole thing about the justice system is it's not like, it's inherently flawed. There's never like a good, uh, trial.

Although this is civil court. So maybe it's total. It's different than criminal court. But it's just so funny to watch to have a trial like this played out where it's like the icon of like access wealth and annoying fame. and then just like a really, really rich person and they're arguing about a really specific ski accident. Yeah, fancy ski trip accident.

And I mean, everything she's wearing to the like white turtleneck sweater and the Dahmer glasses is like such a crazy choice to look the, again, like the whitest, richest shithead you could possibly look like while also on this trial. And we just learned last week that she's like shooting ozone into her ass and not eating all day. You know, so it's like...

Because of this crazy guy The Jackie taught me about this week. This fucking nutbag. Oh, you mean Dr. Cole? Yeah, this snake oil salesman, man. Yeah, the coffee edema guy. Maybe this is why John Pousack is doing his coffee edemas. Maybe they got the same doctor.

I hate guys like these, and I don't see how people don't see... Oh, you mean functional medicine practitioners, even though he's called Dr. Cole, who is not a medical doctor. Yeah, not doctor. And I love that he's also... But he did get, like, his certificate in all pseudoscience is fucking. like nutrition and fucking chiropractor. That's like one of

his things. Yeah. This is just just red flags everywhere around this guy. This is the dude that Gweth Paltrow was talking to when she did the interview about the bone broth and everything that we talked about last week. So she was being interviewed by her own doctor? Correct. And that's

a big problem. Quote unquote doctor, yes. Yeah, but he's not a, don't worry MJ because he's not actually a doctor. He just calls himself a doctor which I feel like should be illegal. I genuinely think that she is a doctor of chiropractic. That's not a thing. So he has a Ph.

That's not real. Caripractor is not a real medical. Do you not need to have a PhD to be a chiropractor? No, he must have a... Chiropractor school is its own separate thing because it's not real. Caropactor is a... I know people are probably... Who knows?

People swear by it, but it is a pseudoscience. It is not actually a part of like the real medical practice. is that we all understand and know and love. Your chiropractic degree is not a doctor. No, of course not. That's the whole thing. That's why it's bullshit. That's why people hate chiropractors and what they do because it's not a real.

And I get it. Some people swear by it and whatever and do your thing, live your life. Yes. Whatever you want to do. But it is not a actual, you know, talk to any real doctor and they will be like, don't do that. Yeah, but you could also buy 720, $724 toxin tests for at home use from Dr. Cole.

Don't you need to test, don't you want to test for your toxins for $724? What is that pain? I have a lot of toxins in there, okay? I can keep my money and I tell you my toxins are high. You want to study how bullshit somebody is? Just see if they say the word toxins when it comes to like whatever schlock they're trying to sell you. If they say that word, get out.

Run. Yeah. Or a hundred ninety-seven. dollar a bottle gut supplements. Yeah, for the gut biome. You don't need it. And I love how this guy's so outspoken about how like money grabbing like real medical

practices are. And then he turns around and sells for $700 some snake oil. I mean, it's crazy. Yeah. Oh, I hate this guy. I hate everything about him. I hate the way he looks. Because he looks like he's like young and like, you know what I mean? You know he just charm schools his way into

every situation. Although he looks like a John C. Riley character though, doesn't he? Like, yeah. He kind of He just, like, I kept looking at him during the Goop interview from last week and being like, who is this fucking guy? Because he's like, smiling at her and nodding. And I was like, what podcast is this? What interview is this? And the fact that it's her own doctor being like, tell us about your nutrition.

Tell us about your daily calorie intake. The way you're starving yourself to, you know, have like a rail thin body that's completely unnecessary, by the way. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Oh, I hate this guy. I hate everything about him. But, dude, imagine being that hungry when you are on cross-examination in a civil suit in a courtroom.

I was hungry yesterday. And I was a monster for most of the days and not in a fun, sexy horns way. I was a bad monster. But you just wear your horns at least. And that was helpful. Oh, yeah. And I was going. But Jeff understood I was having monster time.

But we want to talk about things that are also completely unnecessary and ridiculous. It would be remiss not to bring up that Northwest, yes, the nine-year-old from Kim Kardashian and Yew West, is starting her own skin care line. She's nine years old. I think, can I just little tiny skincare soapbox, just the tiniest little soapbox of like that you're going to. It's going to be tiny because your feet are tiny. Because my feet are so small, so I don't need much to get me up.

It's like, God. Very difficult for me. He is standing on a Lego brick right now. It is unbelievable. Do you see him? I cannot believe it. It is a single Lego brick. One of the, it's an eight-prong brick.

If they are making, if they, like, if this is skin care products, and I'm not saying yes, all, like, everyone with skin should wear SPF. It doesn't matter your age. Yes. Things that, like, yes, that you moisturize kids. I understand that. And I'm not saying that. But I think that putting out specifically from. a child entrepreneur

skincare that is geared I'm assuming it would be geared I think it would be weird if it was geared toward adults but isn't it just going to give another fucking like problem in the brain of children of like oh I also have to take care of my skin I also have to do my skin care

like in the same way that I feel like it's just as rough putting a nine year old on a diet I don't want my nine year old having to work like yes we put on our SPF in the morning that's great I think that's It's good to get into that habit. But other than that, you're like, what? It's going to be retinol?

I mean, this is the thing. I thought about this a lot, too. And I'm mad. I'm mad at the skincare line. I, like, I want to give, especially because she's a kid, like, I want to give Northwest the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to give the Kardashian family the benefit of the doubt in terms of them having the best interest. Like, Kim Kardashian seems like a, like, devoted and loving parent. So I don't want to, like, judge her parenting from.

reminiscence. Just as a business, I don't trust that family as a business to necessarily be, I don't think that children should be involved in the business of being famous. I don't think that like it's inherently good to like involve them in the business of becoming an entrepreneur. Like yeah, being like a boss business girl, whatever, like helping kids and girls to feel like they can be, you know, powerful and business. I don't know. I've always like thought that. that the whole, like, you could be an entrepreneur thing. I was like, really, like, is that what we want everybody to be? But fine, let's say we do want that. Right. Nowadays, yes, the culture is, especially with social media and everything like that, the whole concept is you don't even have to leave your house. Yes, you can be this badass business person, entrepreneur, mover, shaker that has all these

plates spinning at once. That's the current, shitty American ideal. And guess what? It can start at nine. You don't even have to be illegal. job. When you, you should not have a job when you're nine. And the only, like, I think the counterpoint is tween girls, um, first of all from a business perspective are obviously a huge demographic of like, what can we get them to pay us for and exploit their fears and exploit their

insecurities. And so that part is all bad. The, the maybe pro side of this is like, yeah, tween girls are going to start to be thinking about, I mean, I started thinking about my skin and agonizing about it by the time I was 11 or 12, you know, because of zits. And so you start, to think about your skin. So having a tween girl skin care like product lines seems like it makes sense to me. It's everything else. Especially good stuff because I feel like we used to have the stuff that just crazy dried up your skin and then your skin was clean and clear and under control and all the oils and it was sucked from your skin. So dry. Yes. You are you're right about that. And I am aware of the fact that Northwest like does a lot of her own like skincare like routines on TikTok. And so

she's kind of known for that stuff. That's what's depressing me right now. But that's really what it is. It makes me sad. Yeah, yeah, because there's no, I don't think a nine-year-old needs to be spending 30 minutes to an hour a day. With the skincare routine. And that's, again, if it's a hobby and it's an interest of yours, great. And that's her interest.

That's great. And if you let, you know, if little kids get into makeup, like, my kids are totally going to be makeup. Already are makeup kids, like when I let them play with my makeup. But we'll totally be, like, watching YouTube tutorials about how to do makeup as soon as I, I let them. And so all of that's fine. Interests, fine. But I don't know.

There was a great long read that came out this past week about the children of influencers who have been used, like when the kid is the content, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And kids being like, I have horrific anxiety. We also check out the Spun series on this because Spun did a great series on like family influencers and what they put their children in. Sunday stream, Winnie's World. We're going to be giving up in there. We're going to have Winnie just doing three to four hours of content. It's going to be so good for you guys.

I can't wait to see her to be put to work. And teach, learning words. Put her to work. And it's, this is another thing where it's tough because there's no real easy, there's no pure moral path, right? Like, maybe keeping your kid completely off all social media ever is the most moral path. But how difficult is that? imagine going up against that every single day? It's very difficult. And, you know, we at first

weren't going to share any pictures and then we decided we were, but then we decided we weren't. And it's like, but during the pandemic, I was like, well, I just like, I love these kids and I want, like, other people to know they exist. And so sometimes I share pictures of them and, you know, but I, but like in terms of specifically being like you, a child have to create content, like, that is a job, especially if you're Northwest. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, of course. We can't be like, oh, this is just a hobby for her. She's Northwest. her entire family is run like a business. She's obviously, like, there's just, it's just impossible for me to sort out this news

from all of the potentially coercive dynamics that might be shaping this nine-year-old's decisions. And I just don't think that any nine-year-old should have that amount of pressure or that amount of attention and that amount of like, you know, power. Like, little kids shouldn't have that much power. Yeah, it sounds like a real Jeanette McCurdy in the making here. And I, you know, and I think a lot of that, too, is where it gets muddy with all this stuff is the, you know, of all kids, they just want to make Mama happy. And they want to make, and so you know when she was like, I want to do a skincare line, Kim was like, fuck, yes, that is my shit.

This is all my God, this is the best thing ever. There's no way she's not going like, are you sure? Because I don't, you know what I mean? I'd be shocked to find out that she was very. very like, I don't know if this is a good idea for you. And she was the one being like, Mama, please put me on the market. Please. And she was like, no, no, no.

And then finally, North Wales was like, come on, Mama, please. You know what I mean? I just doubt that's the scenario. I remember the other thing that I wanted to ask you guys about. Did you see the Sophia Coppola's kid TikTok? No. Oh my God. All right.

So this is perfect. So Sophia Coppola's kid who is a teenager made a TikTok last week that went very, very viral. And she was talking about how she was grounded. And so she was like, make a vodka sauce with me because I'm at home and grounded. I saw little clips of this, but I didn't really get it. Yeah. So please explain. So she makes this hilarious TikTok.

So it's, oh my God, everything about this story is really fun. So she'd be a couple of his daughter. And she just happens to have made like the perfect TikTok. So everyone's like, you are like a, this teen is like a gifted filmmaker. But it's just her as a teen complaining about being grounded while also throwing her parents under the bus, like, really in a wonderful way. She's like, she says, my parents don't let me have any public social media accounts because they don't want me to be a nepo baby. So this, doing this, TikTok is like the ultimate act of rebellion against them. And it's just, she's just,

and she, she holds up a shawl and she says, I don't know how to chop an onion. I've never chopped an onion. This doesn't look like an onion. This looks like the inside of a ball sack, I think she says. And, uh, and then she like points to this random guy who's in the background who's cleaning. And she's like, that's my babysitter's boyfriend because my parents are never home and they feel guilty. So I have a babysitter. And it is just so funny. It is like truly like in her own words from the child of really famous people. But it was so interesting to me to hear her be like,

my parents don't let me have public socials because they don't want me to be like a picture of a nepotism baby. And then she did this one video and everyone was just like, we'll be it for you. I love it. But in terms of handing it to Sophia Coppola, I mean. I think that at least, I mean, this kid is now clearly old enough to make her own decisions, but I feel like having your policy be like, listen, you deserve to have a childhood. And then when you are old enough to understand the weight behind making decisions around being a public figure,

to the extent that you can understand those decisions as a teenager, like, yeah, you can make those decisions. But not, but I think that it makes sense to make a decision for a four-year-old or a five-year-old or even an eight-year-old or whatever to be like, this is something that I trust, like I trust you as a person as a kid, but I don't trust you with understanding the weight of being a public figure online. And I feel like Northwest is nine. And I just don't think that any child should have this much weight on them, even if it's coming from her, even if she's saying, Mommy, this is an interest of mine. Because you're right, Holden, there's an inherent coercion in it. Always, especially when a, with a skin care line and your Kim Cardassian, you know what I mean? I mean, it's just immediately an issue, I think,

or immediately something that Kim Kardashian is going to have a hard time being, like, poker-faced about, you know what I mean? And so I doubt that that's going on. The whole, it's, it makes me so sad. I feel like I'm very much like a Holden Caulfield, a catcher in the Rye scenario of, like, I don't want, I feel sad when kids have to grow up too early. And they don't fully enjoy their childhood for what it is, because it really is special and you only get it once,

and you get to be an adult for the rest of your life, and it kind of low-key sucks. In comparison. How do you feel about kids that their names are changed to just a question mark? Do you think that that changes? Do you think that that will, like, be a problem in their life or anything? Yes, you're talking about. Grimes has changed her and Elon Musk's daughter's name, just for curiosity, to a question mark.

And it is, they call her why. Honestly, it's going to be the least of this family's problems. Yeah. It's going to be by far the least of this family's problems. And part of me is just like, well, obviously this is just like a weird stunt thing. But also like why, though? Because she's not with Elon anymore. So it's not like she's trying to like take any kind of attention away from him.

It is, I don't, I don't personally understand why. Why would you change it. It's a very who's on first situation. You've since used why outside of the context of the kid's name. I'm immediately confused. How do, like, what's going to happen when the child is a toddler? It's why, Jackie. Why, why is going to happen when she's a toddler and she just goes like, why, why, why?

I was going to say, this is one of those names where you're like, when she's a baby and you're like, I just embrace curiosity. And then she's asking the question why all the time. So a few years later and you're just like, can you just please be quiet? Right. Just please. Stop. Stop it. Quiet.

I agree with M.J. The least of this family, of this child's issues, future issues. Man, talking about a skin. This kid's going to be like, I have a new care beauty care product. It rips the flesh off the balloon. Like what? Yes, it makes a skinless man. She turns into a cenobite, although that would be pretty fucking suit.

She turned to the cheek chattering one. Yeah, totally. And also, speaking of families that, they got more problems than one. Provider Nick Cannon clarifies he doesn't give kids' moms monthly allowance, but if they want anything, they just have to ask for it. And I'm sorry, talk about coercion, but it's very different to be like, yeah, I've got money, just ask me for it.

Yeah, it's such a dickhead thing. Yeah, yeah, like, of course there's coercion. Just ask me. Okay, so every decision I make financially has to go through you. This is actually like really fucked up. Okay, I'm asking you right now, I need a million dollars a month, you know, or whatever it is, whatever you want to get out of them. I'm sure it's not bad. I need to have a $10,000 a month. Yeah, I need to have a regular-father support. That's what I mean from you every single month.

Right. Because I have this kid and you're rich. Yes. And all you do is impregnate people. And the one thing I can get out of it is a bunch of money to take care of this kid is I'm definitely not going to have the presence of you. Yeah. So now I just have to come to you when I have a need. Okay, I'm raising a child.

There's going to be a need. A lot. A lot. 10K. A month. month from your whole ass for sure. At least. Yes. The fact that it's like, you just have to ask me, I actually like hate this. It's so telling of what kind of a person he is. It's so telling. Yeah. I mean, this was the economic model for families, right? When our grandparents were, it was like,

oh, well, the, you know, the mom has to, the wife has to just go ask for money. And like, there's, it is an inherently oppressive, inherently coercive economic model. Yes. At least he has one baby mama that doesn't need any of that, and that's Mariah Carey. That's true. So Mariah Carey doesn't need any of his shit. No issues there. Although I do wonder that just out of spite, do you think that she still gets child support? I would if I was Mariah Carey.

I don't care. I mean, just talking about Sue and Guedith Paltrow, like, what's, is it really worth of money? But if you are Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, you're just like furious in the canon, I'd be like, give me the money. It would also be pretty nice to be rich enough to, like, not have to deal with someone. You know what I mean? I think at that point, it's so exhausting.

It's like, you know what? I just don't have to talk to this guy. Yeah. And that's what I'm paying for, essentially, to not ever have to communicate with this guy. Whereas these other poor ladies do have to do that, apparently. And they have to every time be like, I mean, at that point, I'd be like, all right, cool. Just throw me $10 million.

Right. And I'll literally never ask you for anything again. Just fucking fine. Then just give me that and we're done. Like, what an obnoxious situation. I just hate this guy. Yeah. I really, this makes me hate him more than the fathering of all the kids.

Man, a lot of key, yeah, a lot of shitty kid. A lot of weird family stuff going on today. What in the world with all this stuff? And then there's goop. Don't worry, there's always goop. But don't worry, there's also always you hitting me with the share. Do you believe it? Did Orville Pack and Diplo be banging?

I'm so excited about this one. I saw this one in the email. Oh, so it's taking a little peeks in my conspiracies. I peeked ahead. I'm thrilled about this conspiracy. I will say shout-outs to the person who wrote in and said they had a really, like, gross concert experience with Diplow. I don't think Diplo is actually a decent person.

And there's always blinds about potential allegations that will hit Diplo eventually. Oh, really? If that is the case, that is the case. So I'm not like Diplo is so. cool in this, but this is a fun conspiracy theory. And until those allegations, hey, we got to get these in now before the allegations, right? I mean, come on. So we could be like, I didn't know.

What? What that was? That was March. 23. Just type in Diplo Badman. And then you'll find out. So this one comes in from Brittany who says, hey, guys, I'm not sure if this would be considered full conspiracy territory, it is.

Or just truly verifiable T. so please use as you see fit. It is such a good conspiracy theory because it's all about like hidden messages and songs. That's my favorite kind. I love that stuff, like subtle little messages like, ooh, we fucked, we fucked, we fucked each other. I was listening to Orville Peck yesterday and stumbled upon this Reddit thread, speculating that his song, Daytona Sand, is about a past romance with none other than Diplo. Whoa, and it's such a good song.

It's my favorite Orville Peck song. Yes. I wasn't too familiar with it. Diplo's background or their history, so all of this was news to me and now seems to be so blatantly obvious. There's no way it's not about him. I was listening to your pod on my drive to work today and began shouting to no one about Daytona Sand when the Diplo discussion came up, so I just had to share. And I 1,000% concur with Jackie. Would watch that tape. Would watch that tape. From the Reddit post. There was a lot in the Reddit post. I tried to pare it down best I could. First of all,

in all three courses, Orville refers to this person as Big Blonde. rack them up big blonde hit the road big blonde what you say big blonde on november 10th 2021 diplo's birthday orville posted to his instagram story a picture of him and diplo eating sushi and a picture of them at the grimmies with the captions happy birthday big blonde with the wrestling guy when he's like you know i'm already that and we're on the first one yes so that's the first thing that made me wonder the poster then speculates the Daytona sand it's a reference of course to Daytona Beach in Florida and Diplo's first album was called Florida and does a lot of work there. Pretty loose, but we'll take it.

And the song, Orville sings, Take Me Home to Mississippi, but he is not from there. However, Diplo is from Tupelo, Mississippi. Whoa. And another thing is, like, they tend to be, like, really well coordinated whenever they end up on, like, a red carpet together fashion-wise. Like, they're matchy and stuff. And they do a lot of events together and, like, Photoshop. shoots and stuff like that as well.

That's the other like kind of big, broad piece of evidence. I think the biggest one is this big blonde like nod. Yes. Right? Yeah, the big blonde thing being like, we know that is something he has called Diplo and then that is the refrain in Daytona stand. And I don't know. I mean, the whole take me home to Mississippi and he's not from Mississippi, but Diplo is.

That is pretty convincing to me. And it's interesting, right? Because we were just talking last week about how Diplo is like, oh, I'm a little bit gay. This would suggest that he is like, you know, pretty gay. So it'd be a lot easier for him to be a little gay if the man who's sucking him off is wearing a mask. Oh, then he can't look at it. He can't see him. He can't see him.

Love you all so much and can't wait to see you on tour soon. I get that Boston is scary, but Western Mass is always here to welcome you with a big hug and some great craft beer. God, I hope I can taste some of that great craft beer. Thank you, Brittany. What a great conspiracy for the week. Thank you, Brittany. I love this. And, of course, it is an excuse to listen to Daytona Sand immediately after this episode.

It's a great song. Oh, that was one other piece was when Orville Peck, I think, put a post on being like, what's your favorite song? If the album Diplo responded with Daytona Sand. Whoa. Because it's about him. Yeah, I mean, I guess it could just be about Orville Peck having a crush on Diplo, not necessarily I'm having a relationship, right?

True. But they kind of had something. I can still dream about that. Yeah, they had like a lost in translation style romance of some, you know, he whispered something that the audience couldn't hear at the end, you know what I mean? But also straight up, MJ, you got to listen to Kalahari down on Bronco. It's going. The next one.

That's my new favorite Orville Peck song. Really? Okay. I'm obsessed with it. Okay. All right. I need to expand my Orville Peck taste. Yes.

Scenny, the Bronco, the other album is unbelievable. But it's also unbelievable that it's time for the list already. I know you were also obsessed with it. Wow, what a turn. Yeah. I think I'm also obsessed with the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jay!

Gotta have that list. Respected figures with ridiculous beliefs and superstitions. Now, we know Taylor Swift loves the number 13 because she was born on the 13th. I turned 13 on Friday 13th. My first album went gold in 13 weeks. My first number one song had a 13 second intro. Every time I've won an award, I've been seated in either the 13th seat,

the 13th row, the 13th section, or row M, which is the 13th letter. Wow, she's so good. But did you know that Heidi Klum? The amazing, the great, Heidi Klum carries around a bag of her baby teeth. About her creepy good luck charm, she said that she once lost it on a plane

and told the flight attendant, I'm just looking for my teeth. I have to find it. It's not good luck if I leave them on the plane. This is such a thing that somebody who's obsessed with Halloween would do. Yes, it's awesome. Yeah, very on brand for her. And also, we do know that Kesha has had interdimensional sexual experiences,

and she is interested in that. But what about the fact that Star Jones clutches her clutch? She believes that putting your purse or wallet on the ground is bad for your finances. You could lose money right. away and even struggle with money for the rest of your life. Seems unhinged, Star Jones, but that's okay. That's okay. But what about Pythagoras?

No. Yeah. No, Pythagorean's theorem. Yeah, I'm going to put that. What was his skincare routine? Pythagorean theorem's namesake believed you could never eat fava beans because they give you gas. And expelling gas took away the breath of life.

Man, for this fucking guy, I don't even want to use his triangle theory anymore. That's ridiculous. Did you imagine every time you fart, you get sad? I like my farts. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's the opposite for me. Yeah. Well, did you know that Chris Martin has to brush his teeth before he goes on stage?

Otherwise, he doesn't feel smart enough. And I think that that is a lost in translation American thing. Yeah, he must mean smart, like fresh. Fresh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if it does mean that he's not smart. smart enough. I think that we have to have a conversation with Chris Martin. But like, bro, hey, think about yourself. You're better than that. You're always smart. You don't need to brush your teeth to be smart. I don't know. Maybe Goop gave him some weird ideas, you know? Now, I actually

didn't know that Val Kilmer is a Christian scientist. So Val Kilmer is a Christian scientist. So when he was diagnosed with throat cancer, he refused any treatments, believing it was just an outward manifestation of a spiritual cold. Unable to pray it away, he needed a tracheotomy and a feeding tube. Thanks, Christian scientists. Good Lord. This is a suddenly extremely dark. Let's come back to Pythagoras.

And now you're getting some knowledge dropped on you. What about Keith Richards' Shepid's Pie? He requires a Shepid's Paw at every Rolling Stones show. And they once delayed a show. so he could eat it. A crew member once cut into the pie before him and he threatened to cut him up and put him in the next time.

This reminds me, though, of the show that we didn't have our bottle of tequila and we nearly lost our mind. It was a bit of a meltdown on that. I get it. There's a pre-show ritual. It's, yeah, it's like, it's our number 13, the tequila. You know, we've got to have it.

Or the show will not go on or it will go on, but like someone's breasts will fall out of their, I guess it would just be Jackie's dad for the dad. Yes, and they're falling out. And they're already close to falling out. So you've got to be careful. Well, Lady Gaga believes that promiscuity drains creativity. She said, I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone,

they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina. Um, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I can see, you know, boxers. They don't fuck before a fight. You know what I mean? You got to stay limber. You got to stay.

And I mean, I have written some of my biggest hits out of pure horniness. You know, like, man, I just want to fuck somebody so bad. That was a huge hit on the radio for a couple years. Oh, yeah, everybody loves it. Everybody's screaming for it. Just want to eat some pussy was another big hit. Also a great one. I love it.

Every single one of Lady Gaga's songs are just out about sexual frustration. Like, somebody plug this fucking hole before I murder a male man. It's like every one of her songs like, yikes. Yeah, well, Colin Farrell has a lucky belt. The gift from his father is falling apart, but he spent over 3,000 pounds over the years on repairs and restorations. He once lost it and offered a 16,000 pound reward for its safe return. Man.

And last but not least, we have Jessica Alba's spiritual handcuffs. At her baby shower she gave friends, including Kim Kardashian and Rashida Jones, leather prayer bracelets, and said they weren't allowed to take them off until her daughter was born because their energy would protect her from harm. Oh, my God. This is the lady who's like bubble bath I buy for my kids. Maybe I should not. No, I think her products are good, though, right?

Her products are great. I think she may be a bit of a nightmare person in person, but unless you're dealing with her, on a daily basis. I think you'll be fine, MJ. Okay. I just feel like I would feel so trapped if I went to a baby shower and then like,

now put this on and keep it on. And do not take it off. And by the way, a baby shower is months out. Yes. So we're not talking like a couple weeks. So they just had to wear

this dumb bracelet for months. For months? I'd be so pissed. I'd be like, what? Are you kidding? Yeah. That's my list for you guys.

All right. There's your list. And here's my being Nazi. Oh. Wow. Wow. I thought it was not what I thought it was. Yeah, wow.

Not fun the way I said that. Yes. I think I'm going. I know. We can't see them. That's right. Not seeing is believing. Isn't that interesting?

It is. Santa? Welcome to my forbidden court. You are now players. Oh, are you night courting us? Are you doing it a little Akitar right now? Yeah, a little Akatar situation. Check out our deep dives.

LPN deep dives. Your horny fairies. and you're dumb and annoying. No, we're not. Our Fayebeys, Fayebys get down. Attack Holden. Together, we attack him. Yes, yes, I'd love to see you all attack me, Fayeves.

I'd like to see that. All right, here we go. This A-List, mostly movie actor, is counting down the days until he can personally pitch an offspring to become the heir apparent of this worldwide religion. His spawn, who apparently never talks to, get into that.

Tom Cruz. Yes. But he already has kids. Yes, and who's his kid. And he's bad dad to them. Yeah, he's bad dad. With Katie Holmes, Surrey Cruz. Surrey Cruz, that's right.

Apparently, he's so excited to make Surrey the new, like, their version of the Antichrist. But they don't even talk to each. There was just a story this week about how he has no relationship with her. The blind links to an article dubiously about how Tom hasn't been a part

of Surrey's life for years and alleges this is due to Scientology's pressure to not associate with non-believers or suppressive people, as they refer to it. Surrey is now 16 years old. I thought that was an interesting follow-up link. I was like, doesn't that say the opposite of what this blind alleges, but

still, maybe he still wishes to groom into submission and create the next like miscavage or whatever it is? Also, can I just say she's 16 years old. MJ, do you remember? That's crazy. I remember making jokes.

And I remember talking about specifically how Katie Holmes had to bend over it backwards. I don't know why I specifically remember in her pre-K class or her kindergarten class bringing cupcakes because there were so many allergies and like also Surrey Cruz is a lot of allergies. And I remember making jokes about that. She's 16 years old. Yeah. How long are we even doing this show, MJ? It's crazy. How long have been doing big seven.

We definitely have talked about like, yeah, baby Surrey on this show. but yeah, the magazine cover, like, she's our, what is the, what was even the headline? It was just like, she's are sorry or whatever. Don't you remember? It was just, yes, I do. Back when magazine covers, like, ruled the discourse and it was just like Tom Cruise had a baby. Yes, I remember that. It was very, like, Jesusy, you know.

I think that's probably how he thinks of her. Totally. All right, here we go. I was surprised as those included, but at the same time, kind of not, because whatever, in the main articles. Apparently, this former A-list rapper is a dire financial straits and sees no hope until he changes.

So he started his redemption arc with a public apology. We shall see if it continues. I didn't want to talk about Yay today, all right? Oh, God, I wasn't in the fucking mood. I wasn't in the mood. I wasn't in the mood to talk about Yay today. Sure, I changed my mind about Jews.

I got the whole quote. Yay posted on Instagram, watching Jonah Hill in 21 Jump Street made me like Jewish people again. No one should take anger against one or two individuals and transform that into hatred towards millions of innocent people. No Christian can be labeled

anti-Semite knowing Jesus is Jew. Thank you, Jonah Hill. I love you. I just. Oh, my God. And all the hacky comedian jokes that we got after of Hitler. It only seen enter Jonah Hill movie title here

was also a lot of fun to see over and over. You guys got to come up with new stuff because that is such a quick, bad hack joke to make off of this. Or write for late night, whatever you want to do. But, man, what?

It's just such a funny movie. It's such a great choice that it's 21 Jump Street. You know, it wasn't like a drama or like something. No, of course not. It wasn't even like the movies he's most known for, which I feel like it would be like super bad or knocked up maybe or something like that.

It was 21, which I'm going to throw it out there. 21 Jump Street is great. That movie with him and what's his name? Magic Mike, yeah, or whatever. It really is, huh? It's a surprisingly really solid comedy, action comedy. Enough to make you not an anti-Semite. You know, I already was not an anti-Semite, so I couldn't tell you.

I definitely don't, I don't think a movie's ever changed my mind about a people, but I don't think I've ever had such an opinion. You know what I mean? Yeah. I just love that it's not like a, you know, you kind of expect this kind of tweet to come after, or this kind of post to come after like watching like a film about the Holocaust or something and being like, wow, I'm so moved. I watched Schindler's List. Yeah.

And I realize, you know, but instead it's like I watched 21 Jump Street and Jonah Hill, I guess, is just so fun in it that I don't. Yeah, yeah. It's very fun in it. He's really good. There's a whole scene where he's like, because they have to pretend to be high school kids and they go to a high school party and get all fucked up at it. And that's a fun scene. And I can see being like Kanye and watching that and being like, man, he's so fun to watch like be fake high and dance that I don't hate Jewish people anymore. I just think it's so absurd.

I can't. It just gets more absurd as the days go. And so weirdly, you know, outside of if you can, which is impossible to do, if you can at all the verse, the hate and the awful stuff going on behind it. So comical. So it's like, oh yeah. It's as if he's trying to be funny, but I know he's not, right? He can't be. No, he's not being funny.

Yeah, I know, but it is so sad that it's so funny. Like I said before, that clip of him being like, I won't talk about the demographic of the doctor. And then a slight pause and then he goes, it's a Jewish doctor. Right, right. Or just when he's on out when he's on Alex Jojo and just goes, I love Hitler. Like the Joker. And it's so crazy. and funny but not funny, it's amazing.

Yeah, if it wasn't so incredibly harmful, like, yes, and it's just so upsetting. Yeah, that's what makes it so upsetting, though, because you're like, man, this is, should be hilarious. Anyways, shoutouts there, I guess. But anyways, do shoutouts to yay. Is that, who the show to Jonah? Jonah. You know, shout out, John Hill. Bringing people together.

Yeah, bringing people and loving. Beeching people together. Bring in love into the world. God, I would love to see his response. I think he is totally turtled. He has completely turtled up on that. How do you even respond to that? I can't remember from a Saturday or Sunday,

but can you imagine like waking up on a weekend morning and having your publicist be like, okay, so here's what happened. This is what Kanye said. Do you want to respond? And then having to decide like, all right, what am I going to do here? And it seems that he has decided not to respond.

All right. Speaking of redemption, The lead singer for this color shade number has his PR team desperately trying to get him his redemption arc. It wouldn't shock me to have him go back on television to the job he vowed he would never return to. I got hung up on color shade. I know. That's a weird. He's the lead singer of a band, and the band's name is a color shade number.

A color shade and then a number like page 21. Okay, focus more on the leads. Matchbox 20? No. Focus more. I mean, similar. My favorite color. More obnoxious, less enjoyable.

I love to talk about Rob Thomas right now, though. That would be fun. Oh, my God. Yeah, the shitty version of that band and lead singer, the like really bad version of that. He got into a lot of trouble. He hilariously got on a lot of trouble on social media for infidelity. We loved that it happened. It was perfect.

Oh, shit. Yes. Adam Levine. And the show would be the voice. Yes. Gotcha. This is from an article. Maroon.

Maroon 5. Okay. I love Matchbox 20. Match 20 was close. Mass 20 was so close. I was like, wow. Almost below. Not that I'm a Matchbox 20 fan,

but like the shitty version. Like, yeah, Maroon 5 is kind of like the next evolution in a shitty direction. I'll go with this. This is from an article in glamour. Adam Levine and Bahati Prinslu. I might be butchering that. His lady are reportedly, quote,

back on track as a couple, end quote, following the bombshell cheating scandal of 2022. You know what that means time for the image rehabilitation tour. After welcoming their third child in January 2023, possible sympathy, baby, it seems Levine and Prenzlu are ready to get back out into the world and move on from those damming DMs

shared by Instagram model Sumner Stroh, just five months prior. In case you forgot, Stro accused the Mount Maroon 5 frontman of engaging in an affair and shared screen grabs of their social media exchanges as evidence in one message. Levine even asked Stro if he could borrow her name for his then unborn. born baby. Right. So she was already pregnant with this baby. So she already needed to make this decision of like, are we going to stay together? Are we doing this

as a team? Are we not doing this? What's going on? And they did welcome Little Sumner into the world just a few months ago. No, of course they didn't name the baby that. At the time Levine described his behavior as quote, poor judgment and denied a physical affair. It certainly seems like

they're making more of a point to be seen out and about a lot more over the past few months. And maybe, you know, maybe that's possible for them because they're just rich. But, you know, I'm actually saying this from Paris Hilton as well and other celebrities and I just get so mad. I'm like, how are you just like going to gala's every other night? You have a three-month-old at home. I hate you. Yeah.

I know that you're rich in a celebrity. It can afford it and whatever. But I just fucking hate to see it, Paris. I want to see you not around. Yeah. I want to see you hiding from the world. Yeah. Can't you take three months?

and a sleep deprivation chamber like I was. Yes. Take three months and act like a parent in terms of, you know, not going out. And then you can start to reemerge. And I'll still wonder how you do it and who's taking care of everything for you. Right. Because I'm going to always be like you're rich so it's not possibly ever going to be as hard for you. But yeah, the idea.

I mean, and also I don't want to like, if I saw a regular person who had a three week old and they were out doing something for themselves, I'd be like, good for you. Good for you. So it's not like parents should actually hide at home, but there is just something that's... No, but when they're being photogged out and about at, tons of events as a part of probably... I think this is probably true. They're attempted at a redemption arc happening now.

Right. And they have a third child that is three months old at home. Yes. That's insane. Especially when it's Adam Levine. Yeah, we don't have to do anything to justify this. And I get it. They have the money to do this to be checking.

out, but it is just always like, go eat, suck on eggs. Whoa, sucking on eggs. Holden, please. That's right, I called you fuckhead Daniels. Because you be in that child's life. Yeah, we're scared of him now.

Miserable in that child's life. Love you, Winnie. Winnie's World this Sunday. There you go. She's my little moneymaker now, so it's all different. I love being around her now. I can see. Oh my God.

I did really do love my daughter. I am done and I can see that I am casting aspersion. Welcome back. Congratulations. Welcome back from the land of the blind where all seeing kings are men. I don't know. There's some phrase there, something like that. Heavy hangs the head, you know.

And tiny sit the feet. Tiny are the feet. Tiny and the feet. Oh my God. My feet are so small. They're even smaller now, and I wish that everyone could see it how much they've gotten. You know what? They're thinner than they used to be.

And I am proud of my feet. I'm proud of my feet. While your feet are really thin these days. Thank you. Thank you. That's amazing. Don't body shave my feet. That is our episode today.

Thank you guys so much for. joining us today, we had such a delightful time with you. Indeed. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with me on Sundays and on Tuesdays and on Wednesdays over on Twitchshot TV forward slash, oh no, it's Jackie. And we play dating sims and we also play the regular Sims and also, spoiler alert. Yes, Benjamin Kissel is in a relationship with Father Christmas.

But you can come hang out on Wednesdays to find out how that's working out, Nina Calliente. Oh, don't even get me started on the gossip of what's going on in the Sims of Our Lives over on Wednesdays. I love it. Check us out. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. For $5 a month, you get weekly bonus content, the readings, the Jaggy's readings. You've got the leftovers, which we record after as a post show for page 7.

We have all these articles we haven't talked about on this show that we're going to get to. And you get that as well. And add free episodes. $5 a month. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. For $10 a month, you can join us for our watchalong on Thursdays. It is a live watch along on Discord for like a private crew of amazing people that we also post on the Patreon page as a courtesy, but you really got to be there live to enjoy it.

I think the best you can. And we are now watching Jersey Shore Family Reunion, which is phenomenal. We missed the shore. We missed it. We need it. It's so. Flavor of Love was a great little, we had a little, you know. Love affair with it, yes.

Yeah, a little love affair. We made love to it a little bit, or it was dirty sex at times, let's say. But now we're back in our main hog. I feel like my mind is breaking down. I'm sorry. Yeah, why you did you? I cannot talk. What happened?

The main hog. What in the fucking world is that? All right. And page seven podcast. at gmail.com. All emails, especially those conspiracy theories, so greatly appreciated. So please send them in page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Lastly, Twitch.tv.

4.000. Holtanaters ho. Monday through Friday streams. The Monday night watchalongs, I think, have been great for the page 7 audience. Also, of course, the main reason for the season, Fridays, 6 p.m. ET, Jacking with the holdies. Jack and I do a killer three. Lately is four hours, y'all guys have us running over, which has been amazing. Awesome Friday. Get Drunk Stream. So join us for that. M.J. My name is M.J. And I'm MJKL. Kat on Instagram. There you go. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad

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