Page 7 - Ep. 495: The Scatting of Kim Cattrall

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

This week we're gossin' 'bout Tay finally kickin' Matty to the curb, Shiny Happy People reminding us that TLC execs are NOT good people, Kim Cattrall (kinda) returning to Sex in the City, Barbrie causing a literal pink shortage, Padma leaving Top Chef and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Did Meghan Markle attend the coronation in disguise!? A fright-filled list AND DON'T FORGET TO HAVE A HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, page 7 and Wizard and the Brewser are going on tour. Yes, the release that bought hole cut tour. Holden, where are we going? That's right. Starting in June, we are going to Portland, Oregon, Tacoma, Washington, Oklahoma City, Kansas City, and St. Louis, Missouri. Where can we get tickets, MJ? For tickets, go to Last Podcast Network.com. What's that one more time? That's Last Podcast Network.com. Yeah.

Noice. The coffee's not to my love. I'm the Holden today. Everybody buckle up. I'm the Holden. Hit the road, Matt. Don't you come back? No more, no, no, no, no, no, ma.

Hit the road, Mattie. And don't you come back no more? Whoa. And I'm the jacket. Everybody, I want to drink a cup of nut. I want a bunch of guys to nut into a cup. Oh, my God. He's the most unique man I've ever heard.

I'm gonna use that cut off penis as a straw. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Yeah, I like to rip them off with my teeth. No, we're, oh, we've got weird brains today, guys. I need everyone to know that we get together very early to record these episodes. And we just sat and talked about shiny, happy people. And I'm not talking about the REM song. We talked about the damn dougar documentary for at least 25 minutes.

And they were like, all right, ready. to go and then he hits record just expecting us to be like, oh yeah we weren't just talking about all the brutal child abuse. Let's talk about cruise ships. Let's talk about fun the one can have. All right.

The fun that one can have. We are all the Holden today because we are bringing in something extremely disturbing that we watched and we want to talk about. No, it's not a snuff film from Reddit. It is the Dugger documentary. Well, you know, but you also brought

up a really good point. Let's just say, you know, I would say pour one out, but actually light one up and celebrate the end to the relationship that really wasn't anyways. Bye. Bye, Maddie Haley. I think everybody's got to do it. We all got to do it at some point in our lives. Some would say Jackie's done it hundreds of times.

Where you get out of a thing, hundreds of times. You get out of a thing. You get with your problematic bay because you want that. You want that dirty racist penis. It's a bad penis. It's a bad penis. But it hammers it here and makes you go, oh! And you know what?

I hope to never think about him again. That is my wish today. We never have to discuss Matt Healey again. We're moving on. Taylor gets it. She reads you loud and clear. We all understand it. The Taylor gets it.

Is that like the hammer gets it? Are you talking about my dating app profile name? How many people? How many guys to Jackie Bang that also has problematic thoughts towards Ice Spice? That's what I want to know. That's what I want to know. I want the headcount. I want the head count.

But no, I don't want to know your name. I just want bang, bang, bang. That's the best part. You don't know anything. If you just go, la-and-is-all-old-lawed-lawed-lawed-law. Little did we know when you opened the show with that song, you were channeling Taylor Swift. And you know what?

I do. Just find somebody who isn't racist to have a fuck about with. Yeah. There's plenty of fucking idiots out there that are hot who might be like edge lords, but not in this specifically awful way that Matt Healy was. And you can. Disgusting way. What a disgusting human being.

And let that little shadow follow him and let her find some other fucking idiot to bang. Because yes, she is in her, you know, newly single slut era. And we want that for her. but we also understand that people look up to her and she needs to choose slightly less awful dicks to... Sure. At the same caveat, though, I don't love that we as a society

have to approve of her people that she bangs like were her close friends and family. I don't love that. I know, but she is an inspiration and she should do better. Just like I stop smoking the cigarettes, right? If I could stop smoking cigarettes, she could stop banging Maddie Healy, and that's how it goes. You dated a man with a cane that didn't need it. What?

Okay? You dated a man with a cane, who wheeled with a cane that did not need it, Jackie. Well, he also had a monocle. And I think it's interesting that you bring up the cane more than you bring up the monocle that, again, was unneeded. I'm just saying, everybody gets to bang some bad, okay? She did it. It's done. Who knows? The next one, it could be even worse, and we're going to

have to be here for it. It's either going to get better or worse is the thing. Yeah, she's on a tear, dude, as she needs to be. She's newly single off of the man, from the man who never smiles, by the way. Literally, she was engaged to a man who never smile. There are more types of men out there than Joe

Alwood and Madhilly. This is a dichotomy of manhood. Yes. I'm officially a gayler. Save us from this. We're here. Taylor, please go on a tear of lesbians. Please go on the ultimatum. Oh, could you imagine Taylor on the ultimatum? Apparently the working theory is that she is a mess because the Gaylor theory right now is that she is a, Taylor is a mess because Carly Clause announced a second pregnancy and Taylor is so heartbroken because of her love for Carly Clause that is what has drove her straight into the arms of a racist, I guess, is the result of that.

So upset. Just so upset. So upset. And, you know, the worst guy I ever dated was right before the best guy. So maybe that's what is up next for her. Although, again, we do hope it's not a guy. Just for, just for just to. You got to go.

Canonically, you've got to save the worst for last. Everyone knows that song. Exactly. She's got to go on a tear. God, what could possibly be next to? It's like a guy who, like, tortures people for a living or something. I mean, something fun like that. Go for it, Taylor.

I'm rooting for you. to hit a bottom. I want you to hit a rock bottom. I think this was the bottom. This is the beginning, y'all. I will say, if this was not the bottom, the discourse is about to get worse. Because the Maddie Healy, Taylor Swift discourse,

was not fun for anyone. I don't think anyone enjoyed it. Taylor fans were like, I'm so in agony about not liking this. And, you know, everybody else was like, no, this is bad. It was just one of those things where I'm so glad that it's over.

I just throw it. We just... Just on cloud man. But I'm telling you, she's gonna be like, rumor has it, Taylor's dating, Slogdor, the atrocious. I killed many men. I killed. I rape my village.

Any town I's fine. You're like, well, he's just... Look at how broad his shoulders are, though. Wow. I mean, to rip off somebody's head, you've got to have a lot of upper body strain. Right, right. I guess also, when it comes down to it, I think, with my past,

with round table and everything. I think I realize now I don't think it's going to be possible for me to ever date Taylor Swift. I'm just glad you finally put that nail in the coffin. It's never going to happen. I said to Holden, I was like, Holden, it's your time to shine. And Holden said, I can't disrespect her. By putting my penis inside of her. And I thought he made his wife.

I said desecrate her. Yes, I'm sorry. But he made Taylor. too disrespectful to her. The her in the sentence is Taylor Swift. He's Taylor Swift. I would never. I just feel like that would take her down a couple notches.

Oh, yeah, quite a couple. From Matt Healy. Where is the floor after Matt Healy? Oh, my God. They're like, we tried to parse down all the problematic shit he said on this podcast, but we just couldn't. It's too much. It's like. It's like work.

We're like still going through the paper, the transcripts of all the fucking, he wants to fuck his mom a lot. There's a lot of that. Oh, you're talking about your own. And the Swifties come for roundtable. Then that, that discourse will be fun in a way. And still we did nothing. There you go.

The Swifties came for Maddie Healy and we did nothing. And the Swifties came for Joe Alwood and we did nothing. I think we encouraged it. We were like, come Swifties. Come get Maddie Healy. Come on me. Yeah. Come after me, Swifties.

Please, I shouldn't take it down to... Can we send the Swifties after the Duggers? Is there any way that we can, like, have this mashup where TAY has decided to save the Duggers, like all the children? Is there any way that we can direct her gaze towards this? Just an incredible shit show. Shining Happy People, four-hour documentary on Dugger Family Secrets, by the way. You know, it's just the part where I'm looking at Jackie and I'm blaming Jackie

it's the part where this got to television. There's no reason for this sort of thing to get to television, but there aren't through these people. It wasn't Jackie's fault for watching it. We blame the TLC. We don't blame viewers of reality. Her supportive sister wives

her supportive sister wives, it all feeds in. There's a audience for fundamentalism and it's got to stop. Jackie is just fascinated by how they live their life and then I found out way more about how they lived their life, and now I am apologetic. They make the kids parent, and it's traumatic, and they beat them.

It's not the kids' parenting part. It is the brutal, brutal child abuse. Yeah, we'll just do a big content note now. Content warning for talking about the Duggers, which is, yes, I think probably surprising no one because the news about Josh Dugger broke in 2015. But if you thought that was the worst of it, it is not the worst of it, And the documentary is just about not only, basically the elevator pitch of the documentary is, is Josh Dugger like a bad child abuser?

Yes. And the reason why is because he comes from essentially a cult, you know, sect of Christianity that is basically trains men to be child sexual abusers and child abuse, physical abusers. and like that explains not only his behavior but the complicity of the entire family around his behavior, the parents of around his behavior. And yes, to hold his point, the complicity of TLC to some extent to be like, we're just, that's part of this. Like, we're just going to put this on television.

They either said it in the documentary or I screamed about it towards my husband after I watched the four-hour documentary alone of just like, if you are shooting that much, you're going to go ahead and say, and like, and I'm not saying that it's the responsibility of the individual crew that is working there, but the fact that, like, nobody saw anything. Right. Nobody, like, maybe, like, nothing was intimated by any of those children that something was happening. And I know that they were trained to never speak of it, but, like, they never, but, or were they

that good at lying and putting on this mask of like who they are that they were that good at hiding it. But TLC, like, I'm waiting for this groundbreaking documentary. I don't want it to happen about TLC because that means all of my favorite shows are going to go away. But TLC is notorious. Is it time for me to bring up the TLC show about the adult who looks like a child and the show is about her dating wife?

I don't know if we're not. We should let TLC survive. Wait, you're not talking about the curious case of Natalia Grace, though. Okay, that's different. That's a different documentary about an adult who looks like a child. There is a TLC show about an adult who has some rare condition that makes her look like a child. And it's like, what is her dating life like? And it's like TLC's programming is like, what if we just come up with the creepiest shit you can possibly imagine?

And then also make like 10 shows making fun of people for their weight. And then we got it. We got it. We're the most successful fucking cable network on television. Well, they have, they also are notorious for not going that deep into people's past. Or if they do go that deep or at all, then they turn a blind eye to it. Because the things that people find out, I mean, there was just like multiple horrific people on the 90-day franchise that we know and love. Sure.

That would like, turn out beat. Oh, really? The guy with the, yeah, around the sun, nipple tattoos. That's just the way we identify the guy. That's not even the stuff he did that was so horrific, even though it is horrific. He was like a trafficker and, like, he was doing all these horrible things. And they were awful nipple tattoos. Like, I know as far as nipple tattoos go, you would be like, what do you mean?

But you look at them and be like, God, why? Yeah. They have a good nipple tattoos. It looked like a ring of sun around the nipple, but then just. It was like this puke green color. It was a rough. It was, they're rough. It's tough.

The sun doesn't have like a center. An ariola, yeah. So to this. Right. Yes. Exactly. So why would you make a sun tattooed around your nipple? That's it.

If anything, do anything that has a, yeah, do like a, I can't, I'm struggling to think of, like a baby bottle, yeah. A cut out view of a peach. Yeah. A baby bottle. Or something that looks like a little groin, so it looks like the top of your nipple is like a little dick. Wouldn't that be so much fun? It could be fun.

Put little balls right beneath your nickel. All right, I'm fucking hard, guys. Can we move on? My penis is completely engorged the blood. Can we get past this? Poor Jackie cuts it off and uses it as a straw to drink a cup for a nut. I'm just going to use that as a straw for my coffee. Right.

And I'm sorry, Jackie, I cut you off about your point about TLC. But basically that this is part of a much bigger problem with TLC of purposely turning a blind eye to potentially abusive subjects or potentially, you know, if we can say problematic, dangerous people, right? And because that's the thing. I mean, what you learn in the documentary is that the Josh Dugger stuff was like very well known amongst the family and friends and acquaintances before the news actually leaked. For years. For years, they knew and they did nothing. No, they sent him to like. They prayed on it.

They prayed about it. Everything's fine. Everything's fine. And then they kept it. They sent him to a little, you know, work for the IBLC for a while and then come back to our house full of children and then speak publicly about how it wasn't that bad. They made his sisters who were some of his victims go on TV to say that it wasn't that bad. I mean, it really is a lot of the, if you're like me and you like didn't ever really watch, I

I think I watched like the first, the first, like, pilot documentary when it was still 14 and counting. But if you know the basic deal but aren't super familiar, it's fascinating not because of the kind of whole point of the show was the voyeurism of like, oh, this weird family. It's not that. It's the fact that this is, again, the structure of not only this family, but of the particular sect of religion that they were part of is based around China. Abuse. It is literally the guiding principle of the religion. And that's how they are so, you know, that they have to be, they have to be that strict, MJ. They have to be because of the umbrella. It's why the kids are so well-behaved. It's the umbrella of power. They just always are talking about the umbrella. And so Jeff came down- Yes, Rihanna's umbrella of power. He came downstairs after I was

watching this for many hours. And then I was like, well, you do own me. So you are allowed. And he's like, What is we stop watching? And I'm like, I haven't watched Duggers. I will say I haven't seen the Duggers in many years. I used to watch it. But then I fell off and I continued with sister wives. The sister wives are not based in, in fact, they actually. Oh, yeah, I'm sure there's no child abuse going on in that.

There's no child abuse going on in any of those homes. Gigantic house full of children. No, there's not. There's several houses filled with kids. There's one bad man at the center of sister wives. who has now been just taken down so many pegs that it turns out to just be a real trying. All of his families have been destroyed. All of the polygamist women.

Everybody is destroyed basically by him. But all the women, all the wives have gotten the last laugh, basically. So that's a nice little victory for viewers of sister wives. But I mean. That have been watching for 15. What is it? 17 seasons? How many seasons are there?

17 seasons. Yeah. I spent a lot of time. I feel like it's a great, you know what, too? I feel like it's a great time to bring up Pride Month. Happy Pride Month, everybody.

When I'm not watching this shit, I'm enjoying Ultimative Queer Love, Queer Eye, and Rupal Drag Race All-Star Season 8. All three, wholesome as fuck, beautiful, happy, kind-hearted. Oh, interesting is shiny, happy people.

Is that what you're saying? They're all actual shiny, happy people. I mean, Ultimatum has it. share of, you know. They are not. But you know what they do? But you know what they do when the shit goes down? They call a bitch out. That's what they do. They fucking call them out. Instead of being like, let's just cover up how evil this person is. They'd be like, you're being evil. And they do it right in the second episode they do with that one person. Oh, they certainly call her out.

And I'm sorry to make the most obvious point ever about the fact that they're for the last, you know, several years and escalating in the last few months, you know, queer people and especially trans people have been, wept, have been the target of this discourse that they're groomers, right? And then to watch shiny happy people in which Mike Huckabee, a Republican politician, is in there, literally when asked about the revelations already, like not questioned, not disputed revelation of Josh Dugger's abuse, he snaps at an audience member and says, you don't know this family, like I know this family. You don't know how much they're covering up.

Because it's a lot. Yeah, right. Yeah, if you know them, you actually know more about how much they're covering up. I mean, the fact that Republican politicians are enthusiastically defending a family that is, you know, harboring a known child sexual abuser. And, you know, queer people are over here being called groomers is,

you know, it's a pride. Pride started as a protest. and I feel like this year it is a protest more than ever. So yes, happy pride. Happy fucking pride, shiny happy people. Happy pride, shiny happy people. I think it's mean to the REM song a little bit. Yeah, I do know what you mean.

But there's a lot of, there were other fun revelations that came out of this week that wasn't just about the horrific church that the Duggers are a part of, and that is the fact that Kim Control is back in Sex of the City. OMG for a single scene where she doesn't interact at all with anybody else. I love all the stipulations. She did want to talk to the

producer, the showrunner. She didn't want to talk to any of the three principal cast members. She did not even want to go on set if she would have to be in the same room with them. And so it is a phone call. I will say that she did it the very least. It's in the contract. She did wink at all the she dogs.

And she said no to all the dough dogs. All the he dogs. I forgot about that. I think about the Kim control scat. I think twice a week. It is always at the tip of my brain. My brain is very pointed. Oh, man.

What a good thing about Kim control. That's the thing. I already loved her. And then Holden showed up. this video of her scatting with her husband. Well, her husband plays the upright base. And it will, if you are a Samantha, it will make you love Kim Cottrell even more.

I mean, I read this entire article. There was a lot of deets, a lot of shade in it. And I haven't brought myself to read about the feud from the point of view of Sarah Jessica Parker, because I just find myself wanting to root for Kim Cottrell so much that I don't even know if I'm right. I just have to follow my instinct. And my instinct says, trust that bitch.

Something must have happened. For you to have, who was it? It was like her sister died or what was it? Brother. Her brother died. Tragically. And Sarah Jessica Parker said like, I'm sorry. And Kim Kutral was like, shut the fuck up.

I don't need your apology. Yeah. Like for her to respond, like in your heaviest moment of grief to still be able to take the moment to be like, fuck you. Yeah. It's crazy. What happened there? Like, Jesus.

Either Kim Kutral is, is. crazy or she's so right that it made sense for her to have that reaction to Sarah Jessica Parker. And again, I don't know if it's, I might be so wrong. It might be totally. Sarah Jessica Parker has been like, I am so sad that it is like this. Like she, her thing seems to be that she's like really nice. So it really might be something where actually no one is wrong or actually Kim Contrell is wrong. But it is just a fun.

I don't know why. I just think it is such a funny way for this show to end for the two best friends to be like, I won't be in the same set as that woman. Yeah, enjoy your phone call. I doubt this is a reason to jump back in, but enjoy the phone call that happens. I know. Well, have you watched it, Jackie? I watched the first season of it, and I wasn't sure if I was going to continue on with the second season.

But I'm going to. Yeah. I'm going to watch it. I actually heard that it's good. Yeah, I enjoy it. It's definitely like, there are definitely points of it where I'm like, okay, all right. Okay. We get how much you've grown.

But like, there, and even that, then I still continue to watch it. Sorry, I was just sitting here staring at the scatting of Kim Katrown, watching it silently. So I kind of got lost. In my head, I was like, I can almost hear her. Can we play it? Yeah. Yeah, April hit it. Yamakibyebo, sederééikebo, endaw latin, he quotes.

UJ. Savasaray! Well, he bit all the he dogs and winked at all the she dogs. The town never knew such a hullabaloo as that little dog raised till the end of that day. By the way, play the scat, not the DK. I just realized what I just did. All right. Yeah, I mean, it's a classic.

I mean, it's... I just think we needed it. I think everyone needed to hear it. Yeah, to cleanse, you know, and I think what's so important about it is like... This is my We Are the World. Like, I feel like this is going to... Like, maybe if Kim Ketraal could just scat for the other... For Sarah Jessica Parker.

Maybe, like, in just... like an intimate setting, maybe everything would be fixed. It just is so great because it is like that, like, I feel like it's such an on display moment of, like, the most embarrassing, goofy thing you do with your significant other. And to get it filmed and have it. And because I think that's why I resonate with it because I'm like, oh my God, I mean, I could totally see myself like.

What are you scared of getting videographed with your wife? I even used to do a similar thing to this in high school. My buddy would play the bass and I would like, improvised like Sounds like the exact same thing I would be doing like Are you a scat artist? What would be scatting?

And I'm talking about shit I wouldn't be scatting I would be like trying to make people laugh I'd be like coming up with funny bits where she was clearly like genuinely thinking she was like doing something really cool.

This is art. Yeah which is to be fair like the scatting video for Kim Katrall is like a little checkmark in the side of like she's the insane one you know because it is it is like it is not normal and Sarah Jessica Parker might be more,

I'm not sure that the scatting video is like good evidence to back up me being on the side of Kim control. That's the thing, I just want to say that. I think she might be a little bit out there. But this is the problem with being an actor. You think you should videotape that. You don't have to. You can just do that with your husband

without turning the camera. It's the lack of self-awareness that only comes with like big-time celebrity fame. Yes. And that's what it is. It's because it's the beautiful. With all the he dogs and waked it all the feet dogs. It's beautiful self-awareness or lack of self-awareness

that one can only have by being constantly surrounded by people who say yes to you and make you feel like everything you do is like brilliant. Especially sex in the city. At one point sex in the city was like such a cultural touchstone of cool of like what it is to be like a hip, cool, adult lady in the city. Sex in the city definitely like there are many things that did not age well but if you think about where they were when they started

people had never seen this on television on mainstream television before. A hundred percent. This is like I'm a total I like I love sex in the city and I know that there are just like certain episodes that should never be aired again and certain sets. Yes. Oh there's many of them Yes, never be aired again. Like, it certainly does not hold up as a flawless, you know, artifact by any means.

But I was in a show in 2010, and that was, you know, the premise was for women talking to each other about their dating lives. And somebody came up to me afterwards and was like, I really didn't know that, like, women talk to each other this way. Like, and that's, of course, what sex in the city was for, like, on a national level that truly people had, there had never been a depiction of women talking to each other about like sex and sexuality and agency and date like this. And I think that is, certainly I can imagine if you showed it to, you know, a zoomer or something, they'd be like,

what the fuck is this? But to understand how groundbreaking it was at the time, which again, I'm sure fuels all of there, but perhaps maybe especially Kim Cottrell or maybe especially Sarah just, Parker, how can you not have a really weird ego when you're like, I am the woman who was, like, I am like the first woman who a lot of people saw on TV talking about loving sex. Like, of course you would be like, this, I'm very important. And my scatting is very important. But then of course, there's also that whole episode where she forced that homeless guy to carry her around so she didn't have to walk. I mean, that is completely just inappropriate. That sounds more like a Tyra Banks thing, hold on. Yes. But also, think of how high the show. shoes they wore were, you know? Right.

That's got to be difficult. That has got to be tough. Yeah, she can't even make it a, you know, two blocks, I feel like of those stilettos. No, I'm just, I was losing myself in the music. You lose it. Sometimes I forget that I'm not recording the Ice Planet Barbarian's audiobook and that I don't have to just say whatever comes to my mouth. Interesting. Anyway, I was reading about the Kim Ketral Sarah Jessica Parker feud.

And it really is that it does what I, what I just. is that it seems that Kim Katral has said that SJP has created quite, used to create quite a mean girl's atmosphere on the set and said that she never treated her properly. But then SJP would publicly go against this and being like, I'm great on set. Talk to anybody. I'm great on set. This is not how it goes at all. I just want to have like a fine working relationship between two of us.

But then on top of it, when sex in the city three was when they were talking about making it, It was Kim Cottrell's demands, quote, unquote, that were keeping it from going because she just, a straight up just didn't want to do it. Right. And she was making that very clear. And then, of course, there was like a public campaign of just like, wish everyone could be involved here, like that kind of thing. So just going back and forth and like how both times like, you know, there would be times that Sarah Jessica Parker would be like, yeah, if she just like called me on the phone, this would probably all be done. Yeah, I, I have. have to say the only the real biggest most damning piece of evidence for me against kim

control is just the fact that literally everyone else in the cast all the people involved with like creating the show are all involved in this project yeah and and don't really seem to have a any kind of snarky negative things to say right like when it comes to um uh miss can't read uh lea Michelle, like I feel like there were a lot of different people saying that she was forcing homeless people to carry her around so she didn't have to walk. You know what I mean? Well, she can't read. And, you know, she thinks that that is something that she can hang her laurels upon us. Totally, totally. One time she held up an orange and she was like, how do I read this book? And everyone's like, that's a fruit that you eat. And it was just a weird moment on set.

And then she screamed the inward. I don't even die. That's what I heard. Allegedly. You know, well, you know, we're talking about oranges. Why don't we talk about pink? Because I'm not talking about the singing star. I'm talking about the Barbie movie. The Barbie movie used so much pink paint that it apparently caused an international shortage. Wow. So think about that.

Why did you keep typing the word coinka pink in the email? Yeah, what was coinka? Like a coinky dink. I swear. I thought Coimky pink was like the specific shade of pink That's what I got That's the shortage of No that's a coinky pink like that's a coinky dink

Okay so this is what says in the What's the coinky pink? Breaking the fourth wall This one says in the email to tee up this article Now that's a coinky pink If I thought I was disgusted by meat pillows I'm thoroughly beyond puked out by the phrase Coinky pink

This is what Jackie wrote so she just wrote a word and then it was disgusted by her own word. I was searching the article for where they used the word coinky pink. Yeah, I was like, where's Coinky Pink? Is that the name of that? I also thought it was the name of the pink of the pink. Because also what's coincidental about any about the article at all? I just thought that's the problem.

There's nothing coincidental. There's no coincidence here. There's no Coimka Pink in the article. It's just that they used a lot of pink. Okay. Coincidence. A remarkable concurrence of concurrence of events of circumstances without apparent causal connection. And Jackie decides to call this a co-winky pink.

What connection? Yeah, there's no coincidence to be like, I am, oh God, now I can't think of what. I'm eating a hamburger and then a man in a hamper. You can't even think of one. All right, no, no, no, we can do this. The coimic pink would be like if there was like, if like fast and furious also needed that. color pink, but they were out because the Barbie movie had used it. What a Coinkie Pink.

What a Coinkie Pink. And that's the issue. I really legitimately thought Coquinky Pink was a very particular shade of pink that was that was specifically the shortage was out. So what we're saying is that we're circling back around to saying that Coinkie Pink is a great phrase and that it should be the name of a certain kind of pink. If they want to name it that they can. Yes, I think that it should be the name of pink.

If you are a paint namer, they all have fun names, you know. So here it is. Free gift for you. Do you think that Coinkie Pink gets more disgusting as you say it? Or do you think that you like it more as you say it more? It's making me really grossed out for some reason and I don't know why it. Like I don't always think, when I hear the word pink, I don't always think of the phrase two of the pink. But I can't stop thinking about it now.

It's a double ink. It's the Coingy Pink. because there's a stink and there's an ache. Yeah, it is really, it's giving two and the pink one and the stink in a way that I don't like. So that's my problem with coenky pink. I understand that. Well, what a coinky pink that happened to them. I also like that Holden was like, oh, coincidences, for example, oh, fuck.

No, I can't think what. I know. It's like this moment of, I know they exist or whatever, right? Like I was having a dream about a guy with a big nose, and then I kissed one later or something. And then you woke up and a guy with a big nose was there. Was there fucking me. Yeah.

Wow. And that's a coinky pink. That's like my dream. What a coinky pink. Yeah, there you go. We figured it out. We got there. I got there on my own, too.

I did all my own a little bit there. I'm really proud of you. They required so much pink paint. even the ceiling that everything, because like apparently they had to build a set, so everything was 23% smaller than the typical size. And they liked that, but they wanted it so pink that like, that's a lot of layers of pink. And if everything is similar pink, then of course, there you go. It's a Kuwiki pink.

I don't know if that's a Kuwinky pink. What do you think about all of everybody getting their own Barbies? Everyone in the cast is getting their own They'd have to be fucking imbeciles not to do that. The beautiful capitalist bridge that is happening as we watch it as they push this Barbie movie because now it's like a frenzy for the Barbie movie. Yeah, they've got to be thrilled, dude.

Barbie's going to be so... I mean, Barbie never really went away, but it's going to be back in a way that hasn't been seen since, you know, we were kids, I feel like, I don't know. I don't know. American Girl Doll, get fucked. I hope you get a fucking.

movie out. I hope you can get a movie out in time directed by, you know, Scorsese. Who would direct the American Girl Doll movie? Who would direct the American Doll movie? Who would do it? James Cameron.

Wow. So it'll come out in 2035. Yes, and I want to see what he can do. Yeah, it'll all be underwater for some reason, just dolls in waters. But I'm just upset because that's why I wanted my name to be, Elizabeth thank you very much because of the American girl doll. Which bitch is Elizabeth?

She's the... Oh, one of the bitches. Which bitch is Elizabeth? I just remember that her best friend was Felicity because I also had Felicity. Okay, I was going to say, Felicity's the colonial bitch. I don't know if there was an Elizabeth doll. There was colonial bitch Felicity, Victorian bitch Samantha. Yeah.

Pioneer bitch, Kristen. Oh, no. What's the dark-haired girl? 50s bitch Molly. and There was also Candice was the snitch bitch She was one who told on all the other ones

Bring me up I was the snitch bitch Always Seriously? Yes You would tell on people I mean I would tell on Henry constantly Oh my god I bet

I would definitely And also no I was always very quiet And I wouldn't give anybody up Especially as I got older as well But now I feel like I'll rat Don't give me an opportunity. I'll rat. I'll rat both of you guys out in a suck.

There is an Elizabeth doll. Who is this bitch? I've never heard of her. I guess I'm an originalist. I think she might be a newer. She was released. Best friend of Felicity was released in 2005. Jackie, were you what American Girl dolls in 2005?

That's fine if you were. No, my mom would get them for me because then she'd be like, then we keep them in the box and be like, I don't give a shit. And then we keep them in the box. Yeah. And then I don't give a shit. Oops. Man, so expensive.

Yeah, man, are you ready for this world? You ready for all the little clothes? MJ, how many little clothes you got? Oh, my God, I have a whole organization system for all the little things that the dolls need. Yeah, I think we're going to go with American Porch goose instead. I think it's a lot less expensive. Gloria has been loving her chef's outfit. It's been really, I think that like she's been really learning for me.

I've been keeping her in the kitchen and I've been teaching her a lot about cooking recently. And it's been really beautiful for like the mother goose relationship. It's not to be confused with Mother Goose. Yes, very different. I'm not like living in a shoe. You're not telling story. Yeah, you're not spinning yarns of moral. I'm fucking swallowing spiders to see how good it feels inside hers or whatever the

whatever it is. That goose. How do you feel, MJ, I need to know how do you feel about Padma leaving Top Chef? Padma's leaving Top Chef? I asked Henry straight up in the middle, like, just middle of the day, akin to nothing or just said, how do you feel about Padma? And he just wrote Padma as a goddess. I don't think there's any other way to feel.

I mean, is she controversial at all? I don't, not that I know of. She's just a, she is a goddess. She floats instead of walks. She, although apparently she does walk. She did, she did do a few episodes of Comtown. I don't know why. It's, no one understands it.

You imagine her, like, very calm energy on Comtown. She chortled at a couple of jokes towards Asian people. We know that. We don't know why. Padma did? She had a chore. It was a light chortling that she did. Someone else made the joke, but she chortled at it, and it is an issue.

17 years and 20 seasons of top show. I love those people. I cannot help it. I love Tom Colicchio. I love Pat. Edma, I love Top Chef. We are like quite, I haven't watched it in a few years, but Gideon and I used to be like totally on top of every new season of Top Chef. Chef Boys with Izzy. I heard that she walks like three hours a day on a treadmill, like on the set to like, because she's always eating

bites and bites and bites of food. And, you know, she whatever. But that, I heard that a long time ago and I don't know how Drew that is. But yeah, I mean, I think she is amazing and I don't think there's a reason to watch Top Chef without her. Although, she started her own little project. You know, I just, I have nothing bad to say about her. I think she's great. Although.

Top Chef more like flop chef did. I mean, there has definitely been Top Chef. Coiminky stinky, huh? No, Coquinky Pink. Yeah, one in the Coquinky Pink, one of the Coinky Sting. No, that's exactly what I was feeling when I was. when I was saying the word and you said it. And you said it.

Yeah, you know, I'm sure there, I think that there's been some discourse about top chef and like how, and all cooking shows about how they like the weird ways they talk about like different cuisines, you know, and like, they'll be like, your ethnicity is, is a culinary talent you can harness. And I've got to have heard that like sometimes the way that they talk about that stuff, like the relationship between the chefs at, you know, like racial and ethnic identity and their food that it gets a little bit weird on Top Chef because they kind of treat it like instead of treating it like a part of who people are, they kind of treat it as like a,

your food just needs more spice type of thing. But I don't know. I just feel like I love Top Chef and I love her. I think she's awesome. Well, and at least she can read, right? Yes. And she can eat, which is what makes my heart flutter. I'm gonna watch Taste the Nation.

You gonna watch it? That's her new one, right? That's her new show. Did it start out? Is it brand new or has it been going? I don't know. I think it might have been going from it. Second season.

Second season. It's a good for her, you know? Yeah, good for her. I didn't know anything about it. There's so many food shows. Yeah. That I find myself that like because I don't have like cable or anything like that doesn't just like pop on, I'm just always watching Guy Fietti.

It's hard for me to get away from the Fietti. I feel like top. Chef is, like you watch Top Chef and then you go back to the Food Network and don't get me wrong. Long time listeners, no, I'm obsessed with the Food Network. But I feel like if you watch Top Chef and then you go back to a Food Network show, you're just like, oh, this isn't that good. Whereas Top Chef just really knows how to be like, this is what a really good cooking show looks like. So funny. I'm just getting anxiety talking about this because the only time I ever watch this stuff is like right before we're about to head to the venue to do another live show. Like it just puts, that's the literally. Live show. Are you talking about the release the butthole? God, oh my God, get your tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com. So soon we're going to be in Portland and Tacoma.

And so soon we're going to be in Oklahoma City and St. Louis and Kansas City. That's in July. I can remember these things. Don't ask me past July, though. Kansas City isn't in Kansas. What? What? Now I've heard everything.

Everything. That is pretty dumb, though, huh? They should fix that, huh? Right? I think that, I mean, I assume that they've gotten used to it. It's right there. It's like right, right by it. You know, I think that that's part of, I think that's part of its allure.

It's a Kansas City, you know, it's right there. Yeah, yeah. And we're going to eat some BBQ. So definitely send in your BBQ wrecks for us so that I can start looking at pictures now. Because that's what a fat woman does. She looks at pictures of restaurants. I'm excited for the barbecue, especially because it's just, you know,

Henry's on a barbecue tear because of this Netflix show, I guess that's out that I guess I have to refuse to watch because I don't want to get the taste. We all went and got like a bunch of like slow cooked barbecue, like early on a Saturday. Yes, on a Saturday. It was fine, but it wasn't like how it gets.

if you know where to go. And LA is not where to go. And also, yeah, L.A. is just not where you go for barbecue. Yeah, I mean, it's... There you go. But I tell you what, this show is where you go for celebrity conspiracies. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it?

Did Megan Markle sneak into the coronation disguised as an old man? Yes, I love this one. And let me put the picture in the email for you guys. You guys can like, oh, I know you've seen it, but I don't know if Jack, it's so funny. Let me get this loaded up here. There you go. And send. Okay.

This is so ridiculous. This one comes in from Crystal who writes, as seen in the photo below, people are speculating that this mop-haired senior with a huge white cookie duster is none other than royal exile Megan Markle. Why would Megan do this? The only thing I can think of is to thief crown jewels, which her children. should be rightfully eligible for, but will likely all pass down

to Will and Kate's shitty kids. This is from a New York Post article about it. Some Twitter users are convinced that Megamarkle showed up to Saturday's coronation of King Charles III in disguise,

despite her staying in California with children, Archie, and Lilibet. Keene observers took particular notice of one standout guest among the crowd of 2,200 at Westminster Abbey, arguing that the attendee looked like he was covered covering up his identity.

One person he had suggested it could be the Duchess of Sussex 41, sneaking her way into the event. They go on to clarify that the man pictured is Sir Carl Jenkins, a legendary composer whose work was played during the ceremony. Like Spaceman Jenkins? Like Spaceman Jenkins. Oh, my God. He's a relative. He's a relative. It might have been me.

I feel like this could be anybody. It does look like a man wearing a fake prosthetic. mask, nose. Everything about it. Yeah, he looks like a fake man. Are you looking at the picture? Oh, I'm looking at the picture. But here's the thing.

If you do look up Sir Carl Jenkins, unfortunately, he does look this way all the time. He looks like a fake man every second of his life. What have I said this though? But look at her and look at him. You could easily see the resemblance. What if still she tied him up?

She stripped him down to his skivies. Maybe even tickled his fucking balls a little bit just to kind of give him something to write home about. and then took all of his stuff, got that wig, easy to reproduce. Probably just took his own wig. I think that might be a wig. The glasses look like so specifically placed on his face

as to be a disguise as to like block like lines from like the nose prosthetic. Like that's exactly what it looks like. It looks like a costume designer meticulously created it to hide certain, you know, little details that would give off that it's fake. The mustache too, just the way that it like billows off of the fake. Oh, yeah. Again, hiding prosthetics and stuff like that. I mean, I could see it, you know what I mean?

I could see her tickling his old balls. It is very sad. Treating him like a little house cat. How many, that if you just look up Sir Carl Jenkins that it's just all, or Charles Jenkins, it is all pictures of him next to Megan Markle. Like the man doesn't exist on his life. The man's legacy has been destroyed. He is now just a conspiracy theory.

I feel bad for him. I feel bad for him. I've been writing music for the queen for 60 years. Now everyone thinks I'm Megan Markle. I just, I love that, like, I hope he feels good about himself that everyone thinks that it's Megan Markle. That people think that it could be Megan Markle. You know what? I say, God bless it.

I wish I had heard Joel. I ain't sure I do. Oh my God, I believe. I believe. Yeah, I super believe, dude. Yeah. Man, he does get some fucking ladies, huh? Good Lord.

He's standing next to. Look at this guy. This is why you got to get into music composing. You know what I mean? You can just look like dog shit and still fucking pull some insanity. I mean, just, it makes no sense. But if you look up Charles Jenkins, it also gets to him. No one knows.

No one knows. It was like a basketball player popped up or something for me when I put in Charles Jenkins. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, naughty, naughty.

I was like, how's the internet talking to me or whatever? All right. Yeah, but then, you know, you started smiling. You were getting into it. I love it, man. I was scared of you for a second.

I absolutely love it. I'm just trying to see this man's, how do you know he can get it? Yeah, where is he with women, Holden? All I'm seeing is just picking him. I just see him. I just see him.

Oh, type in Carl Jenkins Horny. Oh, I forgot. Sorry. Every time I look up a celebrity, I always add the word horny. Horny. Just to spice it up. Batman and you write horny.

I don't know. He had some red carpet pictures with some pretty ladies. Wow. I think he was maybe putting it in one or two of them. I am not joking, but a picture of Matt Healy and Taylor's. When you type of is Sir Carl Jenkins horny. Which, to be fair, we are probably the only three people we've ever done who've ever done that. I do get a picture of Ben Healy.

why? Stop following us. I also am seeing that. I out of here. It wasn't that serious guys. She just wanted some rock star dick, dude. She wanted some rock star penis. I'm gonna different one. I just want to hear the phone conversation.

Just like, so, wait a second. So somebody just sent me this article. You did one of the cum guy podcasts? Yeah. The cum town guy. What is this? Oh, sorry, love. I said a little bit.

in out racism a little bit in the podcast a little bit tricky dicky, yeah? All right, well, um... I don't like that your Harry Styles I'm on like a crazy world tour right now like I'm, everyone knows my politics are... I literally just recorded a collab

with the person you said stuff about... It's time for the list. And now they're all gonna think I'm fucking... Oh no! Try to join me for you! Who's on the list? Who's on the list? Jay,

You gotta add that list. 13 highly irrational fears of celebrities and historical figures. Sean Bean is afraid of flying. Bean was so scared of flying that he couldn't even get in the helicopter to get to the Lord of the Rings set. Instead, he decided to climb a mountain, which included scaling a rock face to make it there on time. I mean, I'm sorry, but being afraid of helicopters, I think is somewhat rational. I'm not afraid to fly on an airplane, but I'm very afraid of a helicopter.

After Kobe, I have a completely different feeling about setting foot on a helicopter. Helicopter is very scary. Yes. I don't understand. Not to mention all the vomiting. I would just be puking and dying. It seems like it spins a lot more.

Does it spin? I've never been on a helicopter before, but I imagine, or is it just the top that spins? That's just the top. I think you're thinking of like action movies. The teacups? Doesn't it spin? Yeah.

I don't think it's spitz. But I do think it makes you peekier. Gideon has written one. He said that it's really like physically disorienting more than an airplane. Whoa. That makes sense. I'm scared of it. I'm scared of it the way that, I mean, we know this already because this is something that I can never forget that Nicole Kidman is afraid of butterflies.

Yes. And that is something that lives in my bones. I love that. I think about it every time I watch her AMC. commercial. And I just think of like, what if they let loose a bunch of butterflies in the movie theater right now? Also, she had this whole thing on Vanity Fair where she ate different bugs.

I'm surprised that she's afraid of butterflies. She was literally eating like crickets and like all sorts of bugs. I mean proteins approach. And talking about how like that's one of her things. It was like a whole series on celebrities like doing weird stuff that they're into. And she likes eating bugs. So I'm surprised she's afraid of butterflies, a much less terrifying looking creature. I don't know. They're all flutter and all about.

You never know which that way. They're just like all willy-nilly. I kind of get it. There you go. Did you know that Steve Jobs was afraid of buttons? We are talking about Steve Jobs. He's on the list. He is on the list.

He is on the list. Jobs's phobia of buttons was reflected in the design of the iPhone and other Apple products. He even fought against Max having mouse buttons. Whoa. Weird. That is, that sounds like a fact. in search of a movie. I didn't look it up,

but I thought it was a really good. That is fucking weird. It's a fake fact. It's good. I bet it's fake. Don't come at me with it. Let me live in my world where Steve Jobs is scared of buttons. Fruit and scared of buttons.

This I did know. Joseph Stalin was also afraid of flying. Stalin was probably scared of flying because of the superstitions he heard growing up in rural Georgia. He also had a bad experience with a plane crash in 1912. I was like, I was going to actually used to crash all the time. Probably made him scared.

They actually used to crash all the time. He had a bad experience of the plane crash. Yeah, that'll do it. Yeah. That'll make you afraid of flying. Yeah, if I never in a plane crash, I'll probably have an issue. Yeah. Yeah, I'll probably be scared.

But you knew that, Jackie, because we know that you thirst for Joseph Stalin. Well, you know, not his actions. Just the stash. Yeah, just the stash. Brian Wilson, famous from the Beach Boys, is afraid of surfing. That's fun. Wilson of the Beach Boys has said that he was scared of the sea when he was young and only tried surfing once, which ended up with him getting hit on the head by the board.

So, again, at least that makes sense to be scared of surfing because I'm also scared of jet skis because I got hurt on a jet ski. Oh, isn't that crazy? Ever since Usher had his family tragedy, this is the thing. When you get older, I'm not. I was always like, when I was a kid, I was like, why are my parents just always telling me, like, random anecdotes of horrible ways to die? But it's because you collect them as you get older and you're just like, you just find yourself being like, you know, a jet ski can kill you. You know, and then you just have a story about that about everything. Yeah, did I ever tell you about that?

Now I'm afraid of jet skisies. Yes, you should be. Did I ever tell you about the cleaner when I was, I was watching one of our friends' dogs and they were cleaner that came into the house and she was very chatty and she wanted to talk the entire time, which I was fine, even though I was trying to get work done. and she had a, like, a large tattoo of a little girl on her arm. She goes, want to know why I've got this tattoo? And I was like, sure. And she goes, my ex-husband thought it was a good idea to put our child on a jet ski. And I was like, whoa.

Oh, my God. Okay. And then she didn't stop there. I don't want to hear any more. She didn't stop there. She went and then got into, and then she was sobbing. And then I was like, how is the, by the way. After all this with the Duggers, everything,

how is the last episode about the drowning boy on the cruise ship now like way less upsetting than this episode? Much happier episodes. That was like, I'll remember for more child on a jet ski, I promise. I promise. This is what getting older is. You just collect just a series of stories about how people die. And now you're scared of trees.

You're scared of scaffolding. You're scared of jet skis. And then you just tell your children, and it doesn't mean anything to your children, because they're like, well, I'm going to continue living in the world. And then they all get older and they'll get their own. And also, though, I've already sat witting down and just be like, you got it so fucking good. You can be in an umbrella abuse system right now. But you're not. You're here, and we're not going to do that to you, okay?

Don't, I'm glad that your mom could be my slave woman right now. Oh, God. Beating you for me. She could be beating you for me. That's where we could be right now. But instead, we're fucking having burgers hanging out. Just start to hang it every single day. Every single day.

You can be raising my kid right now. You can be doing that right now. Steve Irwin was afraid of parrots. Sure, checks out. Should have been afraid of stingrays. Oh, man. I'm talking about somebody who got fucking murdered in the sea. You got murdered in the sea and you should be live in fear of the sea.

I love Steve Irwin. Rest in peace, man. I loved crocodile hunter. It was a big staple with me and my friends. We loved it. Love Steve Irwin. And also love the fact that Alfred Hitchcock was afraid of his own movies because we all know many horrific stories about Alfred Hitchcock and I'm scared.

I'm happy that he was scared of something. I feel like this is tongue in cheek. I'm most fearful and cowardly man. You'll ever meet. I'm frightened of my own movies. I think that was tongue in cheek. I don't think that was. Was it tongue in cheek, though, that Salvador

Dali was afraid of the bugs that he was covered in. Now, that's a little bit of dick and ass. Dolly had Ekbom syndrome, which made him feel like bugs were crawling all over him. He also had hallucinations of the bugs crawling on him and seeing them even though they weren't there, all of which was understandably terrifying. Wow. I'd be scared of the bugs, too, if they were all over me. I also love Hans Christian Anderson was afraid of being buried alive.

Yeah, I think we're all afraid of being buried alive. Very scared of it. It's not the same as flying something you do all the time. Being buried alive is something we hope never happens to any of us because anyone would be afraid. I want to get one of them bells, you know, the bell system? To be fair, it sounds like Hans Christian Anderson was worried about being, was like consumed by the fear of being buried alive to the extent that he wrote a note on his bed. He left a note on his bedside table that said, I only look like I'm dead. But this is the problem because they act just like the plane crash thing.

Back in the day, people like were. terrible at figuring out that people weren't actually dead. Yeah. Yeah. So that we were just talking about the bell system. They'd have a string attached to a bell attached to under into the graves so the person could ring the bell if they woke up buried alive because that actually happened. Now we have ways to figure that out.

You know what I mean? You're right. It's like Charles Dickens was afraid of contaminated water. Well, yeah. And he should have been. He should have been. That's correct. Yeah.

That soldier was afraid of being murdered in the war. Yeah. Well, he's getting shot at every day. I would too would probably be a little freaked out by that. But it ain't me, man. I ain't no senator's son, but I'll tell you what I am. What are you? I'm going.

Blind. Items! Oh, we can't see him. I hope you're ready to get fucked in the head by this. That's right. Every blind item has to do with family abuse. No. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Not if it has to do it family. Curious case of Natalia, great. We haven't talked about it. You didn't touch it. I'll just say if you've ever watched the movie Orphan, it's just it's that. All right, let's move on.

That's so much more than that. You just shit all over it. It's one of those crazy documentaries where it just keeps shifting and then shifting and then shifting. It looks terrifying. And now this is happening. What? Now this is happening? Yeah, it looks fun.

I got to watch it. But before we do that, before I watch that entire documentary series later today, Let's get the blinds out. This A-list actor-slash singer was being his usual jerk self this week. Told a man who wanted a picture to basically fuck off and told a woman who wanted photos that she could only have one if he could grab her ass. She agreed. She agreed. He's got a power over.

He's a creepy man. He's a little bit of a... He kind of created his own little dugger thing. Manson. No, but similar-ish. The actor equivalent, the modern-day actor equivalent to Manson. Wow. A little bit.

Oh, Jared Leto. Yes. He's a mean bad man. Yeah, he is a little bit of a Manson character for sure. Well, speaking of Manson characters, this Canadian-born former A-plus list, mostly movie actor, didn't have much luck recruiting women into his cult. So now he is going to start a church Somebody stop him And not also Jared Lido?

No Somebody stop him Oh Jim Carrey I can't believe we missed that Yes By the way I'm now going to forever replace Foreignborn with Canadian born If they're Canadian

Because every time you say foreign born You think like you know Fucking the Middle East Obesies Anywho Jim Carrey right but he does have interesting stuff going on. He is an interesting guy, huh? With his, he's kind of all spiritual-minded now and stuff.

And his whole, was he with, was he on the Jenny McCarty the journey of like vaccine denial? Or was he kind of on a separate train? His whole thing was he did that Andy Kaufman movie. Uh-huh. He like became Andy Kaufman. Then he talked about how like after that movie, he went back to playing Jim Carrey. And he wasn't thrilled with that role and then had like a mental breakdown. Uh-huh.

So, yeah, he never- He also had a bunch of like personal stuff happened to. Yes, he had a bunch of personal stuff. But he really did the completely get lost in the character thing. And when it comes to getting lost in Andy Kaufman, a professional like world fucker-upper kind of person, like a person who's like a professional prankster puck trickster god. Loki, if you will. Right.

I've seen that movie. I saw a movie. I saw a documentary. And just for the record, Jim Carrey has said some fucked up stuff about vaccines. So I think he's gone on his own trip. There you go. Hopefully he'll date T. Swift next week. We can get in on, we can start talking about that.

Oh, no. Don't. I thought, I bet that was pretty fun. She's just like, yeah, we're not. doing this. All right. Last one. This not well-liked

music manager, fuckhead, is about to sue their biggest client because the client owes them a ton of money because they have not been working. This piece of shit. Burn him alive, I say. Barry him alive.

Scooter Braun. Put a bell on a string and cut off the string. And let him be dying of grave. You're going to bury him alive? Is it Hans Christian Anderson? Don't do it to him. Who's the talent

who's not performing. It's Scoot or Braun. Who's he not going to, who's he going to sue? Kesha. No. Who's working for him? Kesha doesn't work for him. That's Dr.

Oh, Ariana. By the way, it's Dr. Luke. Can you get your, uh, I'm sorry. I got my abusive music producers wrong. It's also not Ariana. Okay, go fish. Go fish. Old maid.

Who's still working with him? It's a man. Oh. Yeah. It's a man. Who's like not making music? Is it yay? No, no, he's like

Hey, baby, waiting. Someone waiting. That's not a song he sings, but that's just, I think, kind of what he sounds like. Someone waiting. But it's not a song.

That's not a song he does. Okay, wait. We can do this. We got this. All right, it's a man? It's a man. It's a man who's not really making that much music right now. All right, how about this?

He doesn't sound like this. Oh, but hey, hi, ho. Okay, so it's not El. It's not Austin Butler who played Elvis. Somebody waited. Oh, it's that song. It's that one. Oh, my God.

There's a lot of men who sing with high voices. He's got a first name and a last name. He might not even have a high voice. I'm trying to remember a song he sings. You know what I mean? He's like, I fucked up again kind of a thing. He sings that one song about being alone. He sings a song about being alone.

He sings a song about being alone. Narrows it down. You need to give another hint. You have to give something. Leave it to. Beaver. Beaver. Okay.

Somebody. You don't know anything that this singer does. You don't know any. So we have to. Okay, okay. I don't want to give this song away. But the chorus is him just saying the same word like three times. Bieber, Bieber?

Oh, Bieber? Yes. Somebody's waiting. Oh, my God. Holden. There are so many hints you could have given. There's just a hundred million years. Yeah, baby, baby was the song.

You're going to choose his song from 2009? Yes. Or what about him. He has made more music since then. I'm so lonely. He sings that one song. about being lonely. Is it too late

now to say sorry You could No no no That one so he's like Lonely or whatever There's that one song About being alone or whatever That's the one I like

He seems about being lonely There are so many contextual clues you could have given Somebody's Like a little Waded Like sprinkle a despisito In there

But I feel like He could sing a song like Right But now can you hear him Sing in that song A little bit Somebody's Waited

I guess I could. I can't believe we were supposed to guess based on you're saying a song that doesn't exist that sounds like him. Leave it too was pretty you know what I mean? Unbelievable. Yeah, Beaver, yeah.

That rhymes with his name. So Scooter Braun is going to sue. Replace one letter and it's his name. Scooter, yeah, who gives a shit about the actual plot? Scooter Braun's going to sue. He's not working because he has a virus that has paralyzed him. So, settle down, Scoot.

Brod? Well, oh, is Scooter Braun doing something clearly evil? Shocker. Fucking blow my brain. Yeah, blast my, you know, to cut it off and use it as a straw. I will. Stop bringing it up. You're tantalizing me.

Good Lord. All right. She's tantalized. I'm tantalized. And I can see again, and I can see that doing that would be a bad idea, Jackie. So why don't we get to the fucking plugs? Whoa. Quinky Pink.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Thank you so much for joining a Once again, not a coincidence at all. No, no, it's like when a guy eats a burger and then a man dressed like a burger walks by him. Yeah, yeah. That's a coinky pink. Yeah, a little bit.

Thank you guys for joining us. For this episode of page 7, my name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram. But Jack that worm, come hang out with me over on Twitch. Oh, no, it's Jackie. And don't forget. Do not forget. Put it on your calendar or don't do it today.

Last Podcast Network.com. Get your release the butthole cut tour tickets. There you go. Check me out. My new hip hop handle is Count Candy Cain. I am a wrapping peppermint vampire. Check me out on Spotify. Check me out on Notify.

Before you do your plugs, I just need to point out, imagine simply eating a burger. And then somebody dressed in hamburger costume walks by. And the man just goes, what a coincidence. What a coincidence. I'm not sure that's a coincidence either. And the guy dressed like a hamburger costume, pulls the cut out, blows his brains out. He's like, here on page seven, we don't know what a coincidence is. I think two of us don't.

I think one of us might. It's like when you're watching a TV show and it happens in real life. You're watching a show about guys whose hands are connected to each other. Yeah. And then your wife has that. defliction. Yeah, and then you're holding hands. And then it's a coincidence. Right? By the way, that's my new rap handle. It's not count candy cane. It's fucking holding hands. Yeah, obviously. Did you see the Instagram post that said that your nickname for when you ran out

of class to get to the cafeteria should have been bolton instead of. I know. But that really doesn't speak toward what actually makes Smokey Joe the more bullyish nickname. Because the fact that It doesn't make sense. It's so stupid. And so, and they are just, like, they literally all talk like this. Like, they talk like dumb caveman people. Like, that's how they talked. And so to give me that nickname and just be like, that nickname makes no sense.

I get that what I do is a bullyish offense. But the fact that it's such a lazy phoned-in nickname is what's actually the thing that's grading. It is a bullyish offense. Yeah. But it's totally a bullish offense. I totally get that. I'd rather beat me up. Then call me Smokey Joe because it's so stupid.

It just doesn't make it. It's such a lazy. It's like, come on, guys. Like, I'm putting in the work here. I'm running to the lunch light every day. The least you could do is, like, come up with, like, any kind of nickname that actually was clever and kind of gets me. You know what I mean? But instead, it's their phone in it in.

And so why do, why, you know, of course, it kind of, I'm putting the effort in here. You're not going to stop doing the dushy thing, run it up to room towards the cafeteria. Exactly. Like, or maybe I would if, come up with something. clever. Anyways, Twitch.tv. forward slash Holdenaders ho. Go on there and call me Smokey Joe. I'm streaming from Monday through Friday.

Vin Lovin. You know what I mean? We're fucking, we're getting to the bottom of shit on there. You know what I mean? Yeah, Ted talks and shit. I'm teaching people out. I'm being a life coach over there. Wow. Monday through Friday. Yeah. Now, I just go like, give up, bitches. Monday through Friday,

Twitch.com. Last podcastnetwork.com. You already said it, Patreon.com, forward slash page seven podcast. Fucking get it, dude. Bonus content like a motherfucker. $5 a month gets you weekly bonus content. So much of it. It's ridiculous. We do so many recordings, Jackie's books, our leftovers episodes.

Every single week, you've got ad-free episodes, ticket pre-sales for these live shows. All that shit, just $5 a month. $10 a month, Jersey Shore watch-longs on our page 7 Discord. Every single Thursday, it's always a blast. And last but not least, Pays7 Podcasts, at gmail.com. Please write in with your celebrity conspiracies, your blind items, all that

good shit. Yes. That's all I got for you. MJ? My name is MJ and I'm MJKLCat on Instagram. Yes. Hell yeah.

Let's sing it. Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote about. Come on. Come on. I'll read it to you. Come on.

Nah. Thank you for sending your shoutouts into page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Oh boy, it makes me smile. Oh, boy, it makes me sing. And thank you again. So you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. You can also send whatever you want in. You can send picks in.

You can send artis in. That's short for articles and I need to shorten it for some reason. But you can send anything you'd like, including your smiles, but don't rip them off your face, because that would be scary. You can send them into page 7 podcast at gmail.com. First up, we've got an amazing shout out to old Kikers, Squeaker, A.kker, Keky, Keker, squeaker is a part of our Twitch community. I just want to say thank you so much for sharing the fact that your dad used to work at Oscar Meyer

Weiner in Wisconsin, and I love the pick. Thank you so incredibly much Kikker. But also, Kiki needed a quick self-shout. Kiki says, quick self-shout to me for kicking ass and getting my shit together. Fucking finally! I'm consistently going to therapy. Have gone months without drinking at a time, which I couldn't say for the four years prior, lost 85 pounds, and I'm still going in a very healthy and fulfilling way.

And I've got a second interview at my alma mater that is looking very very, very good for me to work with native students after sulking for the past two years thinking my bachelor's degree was useless. Things are really starting to look up for me in the becoming an adult sector of my life and you guys on page seven were there for me at some of my lowest and loneliest points. You, MJ, and Holden are seriously the best in your own unique ways, and I continue to look forward to the show and Riverdale Roundup every single week. So keep doing you. We love you too, Kiki. And congratulations. Congratulations on working so hard on yourself.

I know how difficult that is and all of my love to you. Now, I've got another amazing shout out, and this is going out to some friends. This is from Ray. And Ray says, I wanted to give a shout out to my two good friends that I'm soon going to be moving in with. So here we go. Isaac and Loki, when I first met you two in my sculpture and figure drawing classes, respectively, I had no way of knowing that you would become two of the most important people in the world to me. From crashing around together in Italy for a whole month to thirsting over Spider-Man villains,

ooh, I hope it was Doc Ack over the past few years. You have transcended close friends and become my family. I am beyond excited to begin our adventure in our new apartment together, making art and being queer and trans as fuck. I'm about to graduate and I'm in such a weird, hazy transitional period in my life. And I'm so glad that you guys are going to be there as I figure my shit out. You are both such amazing friends and artists. And I love you guys so much.

Thank you so much, Ray. Ray does say the episode of page 7 that got me hooked on the show was when you guys talked about, don't worry, darling. Ever since then, you guys have been one of my favorite podcasts to listen to while I put away library books at work. Keep doing what you guys are doing. and this show makes me very happy, and you make me very happy, Ray. Congratulations, and oh, I love living with friends.

I miss, I do miss living with friends, even though, like, I lost roommates not that long ago, but I still have such a beautiful place in my heart, because, man, there's nothing quite like having family dinners together, making art together, just sit and watching movies together. Oh, congrats, and good luck with everything, Ray, and Isaac and Loki. Moving on, we've got another self-shout. Oh, self-shoutes make me smile, and this one comes in from Sam. I just wanted to give myself a little self-shout. I finally decided to break up with Los Angeles and move to the Bay Area in a month from now.

I feel like I'm leaving a toxic relationship. I've had some great times here and met some incredible people, but I've also had some of the worst times of my life here as well. well. And it's time for me to live a little slower pace, more intentional life, away from the chaos that is Los Angeles. I'm not even kidding. And I'm a little embarrassed to say that the fact that almost the entire last podcast network is here in Los Angeles now was a factor in my decision. I loved how often I got to see y'all do shows, improv and random fan events in person here. And I'm going to miss that so much. Don't worry. We come up to the bay all the time, too, Sam. Don't you worry. We'll see you again soon. But I'm comforted in knowing that I can still binge the countless hours with y'all that I normally do from literally anywhere in the world. And come hang out on our Twitch. We can talk there. I swear.

We have made so many friends on Twitch. Come hang out with us on Twitch. It'll feel like you're in person, I promise. And you get to live in the Bay at the same time. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations, Sam. I understand when I broke up with New York, I also refer to New York as a my ex. because I had to break up with New York as well.

I completely understand where you are and my heart goes out to you. Love you so much, Sam. You got this and congrats. Now, I want to send a huge hug out to Hannah right now. Do you feel my hug around you? Because everything is going to be okay. Now, sometimes members of our community need a little bit of extra love and Hannah needs our love right now.

So send it out virtually. Send out the vibes. Hannah, can you feel us? Hannah says less than 24 hours from the time I'm writing this email. I was turned down for a job. I was extremely hopeful for. And I'm smack dab in the middle of the worst of these emotions. I apologize if I sound a little dramatic for this reason.

Never apologize, Hannah. Hannah says a year and a half ago, I thought my current job was my dream job. I currently package weed for a medical marijuana grow. It's the most fulfilling work I've ever done, and I believe in this work with my whole heart. But like with everything, capitalism fucking wrecked it. I started my day-to-day feeling like a zombie, like a ghost floating through and not really there,

being perceived by coworkers hurt. Every, are you okay? Felt like a wave hitting me and I was drowning. I cried on and off all day, truly feeling like I had no hope of finding a better job of catching up on bills, of finding my peace again. Then I played the newest episode of page 7 while working, and the shoutouts lifted some of that heaviness just for a moment,

because hearing Jackie's voice cheering on these people cheers me up too. So please, if you could, please tell me it's going to be okay. I don't really believe it today, but if I hear from you, maybe I'll start to believe, Hannah, there's a reason, and I truly do believe. There is a reason that this didn't work out. that means that even better things of where you're supposed to be are coming for you. And just remember that.

And I know it's so hard when you're in the darkness of it all to remind yourself of that. But hopefully whenever you're just feeling a little bit lighter and hopefully you're hearing this and feeling just a little bit brighter from where you were when you wrote this email, it will get better. And you will have more opportunities because that opportunity didn't come to you for nothing. You've worked really hard to get that opportunity, and it's not going to be the last one. Just keep going. Just keep going. You got this, Hannah. Everything is going to be okay.

So much love sent out to you, and our community is sending it to, and I hope that you feel it. Now, last but not least, Katie, I just want to say thank you for writing in, because Katie says, I want to use this shout out to thank Jackie for turning me on to the Akitar series. It was steamy and action-packed, obviously, but I just finished the final book and it inspired me to move towards sobriety, which is something I've been wanting to do for a while now. It's been tough so far, but then I think, if Nesta can do it, so can I. And then I think, thank fuck for these books and for Jackie for talking about them so damn much. Seriously thank you.

And seriously thank you, Katie, for writing you. this in because that just made my heart sing. Thank you so much for sharing that. Congratulations. And you're fucking doing it, man. It's so hard to make that first step. And you're already doing it. So many congrats sent to you. So much love to you, Katie, and so much love to absolutely everybody else. Thank you so much for your shoutouts. You can send in your own shoutouts. Whether it's positive or negative, you just need a little bit of love. Send them into page seven podcast at gmail.com. We are here to send you love back. Talk to you guys next week.

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