Page 7 - Ep. 496: Nü-Metal Has Problems Too

Episode Date: June 15, 2023

This week Jackie and her Lil Prisoners are gossin' 'bout the 2003 Limp Bizkit rendition of "Behind Blue Eyes", Max's "The Idol" making the intimacy coordinator the bad guy and being truly awful, Kayne West celebrating his bday with some Nyotaimori AND North, a deep dive into the origins of Smokey Joe, Megan Fox takes on political failure Robby Starbuck over what her children wear, Smokey Joe hatches a plan to get better Era's tickets, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; IS TUPAC REALLY 50 CENT!? A list full of old celeb names and DA SHOUTZ Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, page 7 and Wizard and the Brewser are going on tour. Yes, the release that butthole cut tour. Holden, where are we going? That's right. Starting in June, we are going to Portland, Oregon, Tacoma, Washington, Oklahoma City, Kansas City, and St. Louis, Missouri. Where can we get tickets, MJ? For tickets, go to Lastpodcastnetwork.com.

What's that one more time? That's Lastpodcastnetwork.com. Yeah. Noice. I've got some negative thoughts in my brain as a, of late and so all I need is positivity colors of the work out

Spice up your life. People everywhere Spice up your life. To the left if you're having a good time. Shake it to the right. If you know that you feel bad, she'll get to the front. I'm not going to keep going, but I could. I've been listening to this

Spice Girls album. When to Become One. Oh my God. To Become One is such a great song. Slam in love before. Want to make love to you, baby. And I, you know, I was in such a frown town.

Oh, my God. I've been such a frown zilla. Holden referred to me as a bully. Yeah, early. He bullied me earlier, pretty hard. She bullied me pretty heavily just now. I didn't. I didn't bully him.

I didn't bully him. And Holden said bullying never got anyone anywhere. And Jackie said, it's gotten me everywhere. Yeah, by the way, when the mics aren't on, you guys get the real deal with her. And we're all her little prisoners. That's what she refers to us as. All the people in her life, her little prisons. Jackie's little prisoners.

Yeah, Jackie's little prisoners. How are my little prisoners during the day? We're like, fine. Okay, clock, clock. She pretends to open the cell for us to do the podcast. Choo, choo, choo, choo. Do you. And then I go,

no one knows what it's like. Oh my God. Okay. To be the sad man. Okay. I was bullying Holden because Holden just talk about Mike's not being on. Holden just went on like a, I dare say seven and a half minute tirade about the song behind blue eyes.

It was confusing. It was confusing. All right. It's not a good song. And I especially don't understand why the band Limp Bizkit would choose that song to cover in like a bad boy rapper rock. Yeah, because he had blue eyes, Holden. And because you don't know what it was like behind them. Behind blue eyes.

I mean. It's such a dumb story. I have so many questions about limp biscuit's choices. I think that that's part of the confusion. It's true. Like, I'm not, that's not even probably in my top five questions about limp biscuit. Why'd they name an entire album after a butthole? Like that, like, it's gronky's delight.

Because they knew what they were doing, you know? Yeah. Because they had their pulse on the fingers. Yes. So they had it opposite. So maybe give them a break. Yeah, I guess so. No one knows what is right.

Have you been listening to the limp biscuit version of Behind Blue Eyes? No, I just weirdly thought about it getting into my car this morning. I don't know why, but I literally went to my... I said it out loud. I was like, why did they cover that? Were you... Why that song? Like, I know they were trying to capitalize on the success they had with faith.

That's the cover that broke them through. So they needed another like 80s, 70s, 80s cover song. I just don't understand why they went with that one. It's such like a bummer just, and also eye-rolly as hell. Like, oh, I'm going to feel bad for you, blue-eyed man. Oh, I feel so bad for the blue-eyed man. New metal has problems, too, Holden. And I think that you're forgetting that because it looks on the outside,

us new metlers seem like we're so stable and just, and so well-together. Because you're always just like, I want to fuck, I want to suck. I want to do some drugs. Fuck you, suck you. And you're like, wow, this person. person knows what they want. This person knows what they want. They have no, they know they want to break things. They know, but like they're processing their anger. Some might say in a more healthy way than others. You know what I mean? Are you talking about the weekend? Are we really, are we, oh, we're

shifting as to the idol already? Oh, by the way, I told Lex unless I was like, yeah, they call me the week day. You know what I mean? Because I'm just sucked to be around. I'm just like, enjoying everyone's like, I can't wait to be past this hangout with this guy. I can't wait to get to the part where I'm not in the hanging out with this guy. such as you're holding snooze day McClure. Oh man, yeah, you're hitting that snooze alarm a lot if we're having lunch.

No, we have to talk about, all right, guys, it's been two weeks. I was trying not to talk about the HBO. Excuse me. The Max, Matt, how dare you, Jackie? The Max show, the Idol. And it is a show, if you, like, read any kind of, like, celebrity gossip,

they've been talking about this show for years. And I guess, if you look, hate yourself or whatever, then you've probably been watching it. Just anyways, I think. It's just such a dumb. This show I'm in, Jackie. MJ, you can't show this to Gideon.

Gideon will live out. He will. Ryan. I'm all in. I'm all in and it is fucking hottest trash. It is just bad. But it is, but man, what a cast. All right, the idol. Okay, let's get into the idol.

Yeah, tell me. Okay, so my deal is I didn't watch Euphoria and I wish I had because it seems like Euphoria was good. And my, it seems, okay, so my initial completely outsider take on the idol is it's like euphoria, but somehow like less good and more, all the bad things about euphoria are worse. All the good things are not there. But could you do a little bit of a like explainer here for me about the idol about all the controversy around literally everyone involves with it? What this should be, and apparently this is what it started as, is a total like satire on, you know, fans. and especially the new wave of like the Jared Lettos and the Yeas out there who are like becoming such big celebrities that they're like just deciding to start cults and stuff. So what's supposed to start as a satire? Yeah.

And they actually... And it kind of is still like, oh, that pesky intimacy director. Oh my God. That innocent can get him off the set. He will not let that poor woman show her tits. And all she wants to do is show her tits. that, ooh, that intimacy coordinator. But I just, so for those of you that don't know, the big controversy behind the Idol is that in April of 2022,

they had shot nearly 80% of this show already at a budget of $75 million. But then the director, Amy Semetz, and we don't know why or what happened with it, dropped out of the series. And essentially, HBO announced that it was going to redefine the, idol's vision by adjusting its cast and crew, and they wiped the whole project, completely started over again, brought the weekend on board. I'm getting very... Oh, so the weekend wasn't there initially? No.

Who was there? Was Lilley Rose death? Was Sam Levinson there initially? I think so. Okay. Yeah, Sam Levinson was. No, no. Or it was all under Amy Simets.

Uh-huh, right. And then he came... Because it seems like he appears to be a common denominator in terms of, again, I'm a total outsider, but from what I've observed of the discourse, it seems like Sam Levinson is a common denominator in terms of the treating young women in a creepy way on camera. No, it definitely seems like he walked in the room. He's like, we've got to change the whole thing. Everyone's like, what do you mean?

And he's like, and then he just drew a giant pituit on the whiteboard. It's like, this is the idol from going forward. And he just walked out the room. But this is where I'm confused by this, right? So I don't know when the weekend and when Sam Levinson got on board. and if they had been on board and then they just took over the project, it's very possible that, like, Amy Sometz left and then they just moved in because now the show is said that it's co-created by the weekend, Sam Levinson and the producer, Reza Fahim.

So that's what we know is that they're saying that they created the show. So I'm assuming they washed away everything about the original version or at least had to make it different enough. What I will say about this show, even though it is, go ahead and say, triggering in many different ways and not like and again euphoria i was triggered by in different ways but like in a in a like i was absorbed in it that i was just so i was so i was so sucked in by euphoria this show you're sucking and trying to suck in some air while you're choking yourself looking at beam that's a common reoccurring thing the main character likes to uh choke herself and jerking off which there ain't nothing wrong with it this joke should be called bean slammers i mean

It is crazy how much she is just down on that piece. But they're trying to make it just so edgy that like... It's so eye-roly over the top. There's no... I don't feel if they had had a little bit more humor in it

or like some kind of like another feeling besides just stark just mouth agape I can't believe they need this entire time. Yes. I mean this is the thing though. The supporting cast, I will say the main cast two, I wanted to, like, not like

they're acting more, but they do hold it down. Lily Rose Depp, by the way. Is the main character. She owns a pair of tits, by the way. She needs you to know that. And they are just so, I've never seen the whole thing yesterday. It was like the tiniest shirts I've ever seen

in a show. It's so weird. I've never seen such tiny shirts. Like, it looked like, and I'm not trying to be an old here. I think I would have said this 15 years ago as well. That it was like barely cover it. Like, she's Is her trailer a walk-in freezer? I don't know.

Like, what is going on with that? It's like those nipples could fucking chisel, you know, into a, you could climb a mountain with those nipples. But she's a good actor. She's, I've seen people split. She's holding it down. She's not making me go like, wow. And I mean, up next to some of the other cast, you know, you've got Dan Levy, Hank Azaria. Yeah, I think with what she's being given to work with and what she's,

being asked to do, she's doing a job. I should be at every turn like what a fucking job. But she somehow, she makes it work in a way. I'm sorry we're talking about the idol so much because I'm just like, I can't stop watching it. No, it's so

a shit show. Yeah. And I need to know where it's heading. It's so bad. And the weekend, like the craziest part is that you can tell from every second of it, the weekend thinks he's a genius. Yeah. He thinks that he, like, in my, and like, no, I don't think that he's just doing a really good job with the character either.

Like, I think it's just like, yeah, I do. I do. It's his house, I believe. It is his house. Sam Levinson moved his whole family into the weekend's mansion and the entire thing was shot inside of the weekend's mansion. Wow. It's a crazy house.

It's a crazy ass house. Yes. It does seem a little bit like I just have, you know, just reading the, um, the, um, the, um, the, article that you sent Jackie and it does seem a little bit like Sam Levins's understanding of young women is just that they just are just furious masturbators who have like the simplest minds, you know? Yes. And I'm all for horny women representation.

We need more horny women representation. But that's not true in euphoria. Not true in euphoria. No, I don't think that's true in euphoria. I think that what he does to these young women, I don't think I would put up with. But again, I'm not in that situation. I think that he definitely doesn't seem like he's making the most comfortable of atmospheres, which I think that if people are being put into these positions and these shows,

you should be as comfortable as humanly possible to be able to act these things out. Because even though they're being acted out, it's still got to be very upsetting. Wow, you're talking about like a real intimacy coordinator right now. It's kind of disgusting. It's kind of disgusting right. But that came up, right, with Cindy Sweeney and Euphoria asking for if you were nude scenes and like speaking about it. Right. Yes.

And it is like, so that's why watching The Idol too, I'm just like, man, she is just nude through most of this. All of it. And all I can think of is like, as long as she's cold it down. I hope. And it doesn't seem like Lily Rose Depp like has not come out and said anything to say otherwise to that. So we can assume that these are decisions these actors are making with their own agency and all that. Yeah. And it just, it's like it sounds like her character in the show.

at least is, I don't know. Again, I'm all for horny women representation. It's good. We need more of it. But like the... I don't have that kind of time to jerk off that much. And I think that that's what they don't understand. Like, we got a lot to do.

I can't jerk off all the time. And being so consumed with jerking off that you're like injuring yourself and like destroying your career. Like, yeah, it just isn't interesting. She does that. She does that. Yeah, she's got it. She breaks a glass on her thighs.

And then that's like a big part of why she's like, unable to do this. She's a perfectionist, and she's her music video is not perfect. I just... I'm sorry we've been talking about this for so long. I just... I definitely keep watching.

I just wanted to continue to escalate. I think one of my big things with it, too, is like, man, this could be amazing. Like, if they did make it this amazing satire, if it was like a different actor than the week, and instead, it wants to be funny and, like, making fun of Hollywood, but it also really does the thing that it needs to be making fun of,

which is like taking itself way too seriously. That's what it's seen. It just seems to take itself very seriously, and it seems to like, right. And the idea of satirizing like the intimacy coordinator, when the whole, if the thing is supposed to be like a satire on, like, predatory culture in Hollywood, then it's strange to then make the choice to have the main clear satire be

on the intimacy coordinator who is there because of the, culture that you claim to be satirizing, which is like these predatory power dynamics, right? Yes. Which is this producer? Yeah, right. So that's what you're making a joke about? That's what's complicated about it. It's very much like the rich kid trying to be like, right?

I mean, come on. I've got it pretty rough. You know what I mean? You're like, no, I'm not going to feel bad for you, blue eyes. Right, yeah. I don't care how fucking sad and bad you are. Satterizing the way that he's, the ways that he's been criticized before. And it's like, that's not a satire.

You're like, that's not, you're, yeah, you let the cocaine using, like, studio exec create what the satire's about. Not the, like, actual people dealing with real problems. But also, I want to go on the record and say, this show is not for everybody. And in fact, especially MJ, for someone like you that doesn't have a lot of time to watch things, don't watch your show. Yeah, it's not for anybody. You don't watch it. I'm all in because I'm ready for a bad show. Yes.

You know what I mean? And I need a Riverdale. I've been watching you guys Riverdale it up, but I'm getting all jealous. Riverdale is in a different thing. I'm all jealous coming in and getting a groan about a TV show left and right. And I'm like, man, where's my dumb shit fuck-ass show where I just go on. On Riverdale, we waited seven years to watch a fantasy of one woman kissing two men.

And so if we in the first episode of the idol, the first two episodes get a woman masturbating so many times that we lose count and her breaking a glass into her own crotch from being too furious with her masturbating. I love that you use the word crotch in this scenario. And not just feel bad for the asshole, feel bad for like the pretty popular girl that, you know, too, with her poor feet. Oh, I feel so bad that she needed to wear heels for her date with the weekend and her feet are bleeding. You know what I do feel bad for.

And that's the women that are being fed sushi to people at Kanye's party. I'm trying to stick the landing on this. Is no one going to bring up the Sex and the City movie and Samantha? I know we talked a lot about Kim Katrall last week. But this thing that Kanye did, which has put out a bunch of sushi on a naked woman's body, is literally what Samantha did in the Sex and the City movie on Valentine's Day for Smith Jared. And then Smith Jared calls she's covered in sushi. She's naked.

and she's lying down and apparently it is a tradition like this is like a thing and Smith Jared is like I can't make it home and she's like fuck you and she gets so mad at him and that's what leads to her breaking up with him

because she loves him but she loves herself more and I just can't believe that this whole thing with Kanye and the naked women in the sushi is coming up without us also bringing in Samantha do you think that he did it

because of sex in the city? I saw the sex in the city one and he's like you know what I want that at my party in 2008 he saw sex in the city of the movie and he was like, man, that rules. And he's been thinking about it ever since. So he's been, so essentially, yay, at his 46th birthday party,

had a bunch of women on the table with sushi on top of their body. This is actually a Japanese practice called Neo-Tai Mori. And so this is, but at the same time, I just love that in this article they did include, which my question is why is she there in the first place, the fact that his nine-year-old daughter, North, is at this party. Now, I guess if it is like a party for everybody, I just feel like this is quite a choice. And I guess if you had the conversation with your nine-year-old about what this means and what it represents, I guess that would be fine. But like, I don't know, I probably wouldn't bring my nine-year-old unless we had a conversation about it.

Well, I have a question to you, Jackie, have you ever sung a song about loving Hitler? I just want to see if you're anywhere in the same ballpark as this guy been into it. Put you in your mindset about your parenting decisions and his parenting decisions. Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm all about a mixed age party. I guess, yeah, I guess it's the rude.

I hate it when people are like, don't, I hate like, don't bring your kids to a daytime bar discourse. I think that's annoying. I think that, like, you should be, kids should be allowed in spaces with adults if we're talking about a mixed age community. Like, all, yes, bring your kids. to your 46 year old birthday party for sure.

However, that is not clearly a Kanye birthday party. It's clearly not going to be an age-appropriate space for a nine-year-old. Unless he makes some really careful decisions about making sure it's a space for a nine-year-old, which, again, I'm going to go ahead and doubt. And so in that case, I do. We can add this to the list of things that I don't want to step in about, but do feel slightly concerned with regard to Northwest. and the way she is, you know, being, the way that her, I think that Kim seems to be a very loving and attentive mother.

I think that the way that she's growing up in the spotlight is going to play out in ways that I'm worried about. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, she'll definitely be fucking throwing it out there just like Lily Rose Depp and the Idol. I mean, come on. Yeah, sometimes, you know, sometimes you got to put some ice up inside your folds and I guess it feels nice. It sure feels nice. But when someone that you'd barely know the name of

fucks you with the piece of ice, I think that in a public place. Do you trust me, Jackie? I don't trust the weekend. I don't trust him. I just don't particularly like him. Yeah. So I should have been taking notes

because I had so many thoughts throughout, like, I'm just like, I've never understood the appeal of his music. I've never understood it. Yeah. But of course I'm a Swifty. so I've got to be able to turn the magnifying glass the other way. And remember how this Super Bowl show?

We were like really needing like a big win. It was like the pandemic Super Bowl and it was just kind of boros norro. So moros. I've just never understood it. I don't get the, it's very like Xanax. Yeah, it's all the drugs, I assume. Yeah, it's just so vibey. Yeah.

It's all the drugs. The weekend's music is good if you're on a ton of drugs, I guess. Yeah, and vape and all that. I don't, yeah, you have to vape and, and eat zanis, zani bars, right? Yeah, you better be calling them zani bars. Yeah, because if you're not, then I'll get the other kids to call me Smokey Joe, whatever. Oh, my God, speaking of Smoky Joe. That was the problem. I should have been on Xanax because I wouldn't have been running to the anywhere.

Speaking of Smokey Joe, I need to, I love that someone, someone who is amazing named Chase rode in because they've been thinking about your nickname. and they think that they might have figured out why they call you Smokey Joe. Did you read this email? No. I love you, Chase. Chase says, could it be that Holden's nickname is actually more clever than expected? Maybe this little theory of mine could help ease some high school question marks for what seemed to be something Holden has thought about for some time. Information known.

Number one, Holden would abruptly rush out of class to get into the cafeteria line for food. Number two, Holden smoked cigarettes. The theory, the name Smoky Joe is derived from a combination of Holden smelling like cigarette smoke and the Sloppy Joe, arguably one of the more famous school cafeteria meals. With each day, Holden would get up and quickly slither over to the cafeteria before anyone else. In doing so, he would pass by these linguistic bullies with a waft of smoke and a deep, deep desire for cafeteria food, aka sloppy joes. The bell rings for lunch and off goes Smokey Joe to the cafeteria. That is a generous interpretation.

Definitely heard them come up with it in the moment. It was definitely just like, yeah, he's like, smoking show, he's smoking. He's smoking. He's smoking. He's smoking. He's running so fast. I'm like, oh, yeah, smoking Joe. Also, I don't even think my cafeteria served sloppy shows. Even if they did. Even if they did, unless it was pizza day, unless it was pizza day, I only would get two large cups of fries, kind of like five guys, with extra zesty sauce on them and lots of ketchup

on the side, and one, a lemon, icy drink. You just ate fries. Literally every day. I talked about this before because every day I would get to school for a long stretch there, every single morning I would come to school and immediately get diarrhea pains and have to run to a secret bathroom upstairs by the art department that no one ever used. This is what happens every... call you liquid Joe.

Right? I cannot believe I did not. I think one of my piece of advice to a kid will be like, look, what goes in will make come out. And so if, like, I don't, I wish I could have gone back in time and been like, hey,

like, study harder, go to Harvard. You'll get like a actual writing job. If you do that, probably. You get to write on Conan or whatever. Don't just like fuck off. Like, you know what I mean? But also, don't eat. just french fries every day

because you're gonna have the craziest shits the next day. It was like chippa. It was like pre-chipotle kind of thing. Yeah, I would come in and I would just shit my brains out every morning. It was so like messy and embarrassing. And yet I never said to myself, maybe it's because I eat two cups of french fries every day

with extra spicy dust on it. Yeah, and a lemon icy. And not a piece of fiber to be found. Nowhere near me. I hated it. I do just want to continue and just let you know that Chase also had a bad nickname. Oh, what's his? And his nickname was Big Head.

And he said, I was Big Head. Well, at least that makes more sense. No, he said, my head isn't even that big. In fact, it's pretty small. He said, I'm a 7 and 3 eighths hat. And then they say, who's got a big head? Big Head. You got a big head, big head.

But it was apparently as a jingle, and I don't know what the jingle was too. But it was who's got a big head, big head, big head. You've got a big head. He's got a big head Sorry, Chase, now this is Forever. Yeah. This is forever out there, Chase.

To have us laugh at you. I didn't have... We're laughing with you now. If you have a nickname that's not just sad that they used to call you, write in about it, let us know.

Unless it's just like a slur that we probably don't need to know about it. But if it's something like Patty cakes or some dumb nickname like that and just beats you crazy. Patty cakes. Patty cakes. They were playing Patty.

At my school, there was a German, like a German exchange student, like, visitor. And everyone just started calling him Lars, even though that wasn't his name. You know, that's picked a random German name. So mean. That's not okay. It's the nonsensicalness. It's the laziness of it. That's what, I think that's what pisses me off about Smokinjo.

It's like, come on. Put a little. It's like, does everything when it comes to me have to be phoned in and just not, you know, you know what I mean? Can we put a little effort into the nickname at least That you're gonna fucking you know haunt me with every day and by the way I'm still running that motherfucking lunch line bro Because when it fills up I ain't waiting dog I can't believe I didn't tell this when you first started talking about Smokey Joe but which I have come around on by the way as a good nickname

But when what? You run away What's the Joe though? What's the Joe? I think it's sloppy Joe No I love Chase's theory. I don't think it's sloppy Joe. Smokey Ho. Funny. Smokey what?

Smokey Holden? No, Smokey Joe is funnier. And here's the thing. This is just coming back to me. Unbelievable, man. No, no, you're not just dancing past this. I love that MJ's pro Smokey Joe.

Smokey Ho. It's right there. Fucking Freddy, you fuck. You know, I'm not talking about you. They didn't even want to think about you that much. Listen. No, they didn't. They, I was an afterthought.

It has to be a half-ass. Okay, you are, you are, I believe my brother's age. And when I was going into high school, he was a senior and I was a freshman. And so I only point that out to say that maybe this was the cultural norms at the time, late 90s, early 2000s

high school. And John said, no matter what you do, if you are running late to class, doesn't matter. If you need to be somewhere, it doesn't matter. Walk slow. Do not run. Yes. He said it is social suicide. Yes. You never run. He said your backpack bounces,

you're sweating. You look like an idiot. You run into class and he was like, this is the biggest piece of advice I can give you. And then in college, he said, you can do all the drugs you want, but don't start smoking cigarettes, which is also good advice. That's the opposite of what I got. Yeah. You and all your cigarettes.

I think I got a lot of people smoking cigarettes. You did. I got Henry. I got everybody smoking. Man, it was kind of nuts with that. So that's, I think that maybe this has changed. Who knows? We'll have to ask the cast of.

of the idol if young people run to class now and it's fine. But at the time, apathy was big. You couldn't care. Yes, and you had to. No, no, it's not okay. It'll never be okay. Especially when it wasn't even like I was late or anything like that. It's not like I'm trying to get to my next class.

I'm just trying to get my food early. I just, but I would be so hungry and I just wanted to eat. I don't, you know what I mean? And if I, this is the difference. if I didn't run, if I just walked to the line, it would be like out the fuck, it would be fucking, you know, like getting tickets for Aerosmith.

It'd be like around the block. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm just saying if you commit an social sin, if I just put a little, if I put a little bit of umph into it and really made my way there, I would walk right in and get my food.

And it worked out for you in some ways and in some ways it didn't. You got your fries, you got your diarrhea, but you also got your nickname, And I'm just saying these are the cost, benefit. As a teen, you start to make these decisions. What do I care more about?

Getting my fries or being called Smokey Joe. And I like that you chose the fries. Fries. Getting my fries was definitely way more important. I would be first down at the table, go ahead and eat, prepare myself for whatever social. You should see how much ketchup holden puts on his fries. Oh, okay. That's disgusting. I dip.

I dip it. Oh, gosh. It's like you're using the fries as a way to shovel the chump into your mouth. Like a toddler. That's what a toddler does with ketchup. Yeah. It's so good. Catchup's so good. I want five guys right now and it's so expensive and I get it all the time.

You can't have it, bro. It's way overpriced and I love it. Oh, I fucking love it, dude. I don't care, who knows. I feel like it's the idol of food where like I should be embarrassed to say that I eat it all the time. Chuck? You're just talking about Chup in general? No, no.

No, five guys. Oh. Because it's so overpriced. It's so highfalutin. It's not worth the money. But I love it. I can't get enough of it. You're grown up now.

The only people who will make fun of you for your food choices are the entire, you know, thousands of people who listen to you. And the two adults that are in this conversation. You should see me run to the five guys. That's really embarrassing. I just would have made fun of you. She should see me just sprinting to the five guys from my apartment. Everybody points and laughs. It's terrible.

Yeah. Well, there's a lot of things. things that people are pointing and laughing at nowadays. And people were trying to point and laugh at Megan Fox for exploiting her child's gender identity. But that is not the case. This is a big conversation right now that let me just say up top that it has been, they are putting on Megan Fox that she is forcing her three children who were born as

boys to wear girls clothing when in reality, it looks like they have clothes on. Do they have clothes on? Great. I feel like that's all that matters when you have kids, right? Do they have clothes on? Great. Leave those. This is really the intersection of like the kind of like, I know I do keep bringing up like the crazy gender stuff on the show.

But like this is really like where page seven meets the fucking psychotic path that a small but, you know, heavily armed percentage of this country is on. And. Yeah, live in fear. Live in fear. It's very odd. It's important to know that these people are not the majority. They're just very loud and they are sometimes quite violent. And Robbie Starbuck is just, yeah, some fucking guy.

You can look at his website, Starbuck 2022 if you want to for his, you know, failed congressional campaign. But he... Damn! Throwed out Bob's, M.G! Actually, it might not be failed because he definitely did hold some office at some point. But, you know, he's like, his first line is, I'll fight the mass illegal immigration crisis and protect our border. I'll fight all the Marxist forces that want to destroy our way of life. So that just gives you a little sense of his deal.

Because I didn't know what his deal was. And then, yeah, he made this tweet about Megan Fox's three kids who, again, we're going to, there's, at no point has Megan Foxx said that these kids use different pronouns or have a different gender identity, although she has spoken to her old. child being gendered unconforming and how hard that has been in terms of people being shitty to them. But so I'm going to probably alternate it between they pronouns and he pronouns since again. That's there's no, we don't know anything about these kids. They are kids. These are paparazzi shots taken non-consensually of these kids.

This is the one that he retweeted. A photo of Megan Fox with her three kids. This is not them at a red carpet event. This is not. These kids are famous actors. No. These are just some kids who are Megan Fox's kids. And two of them have long hair in the picture that he tweeted.

Two of them have long hair. All three of them have long hair. One of them is wearing pink. And he tweeted out this saying that Megan Fox forces her sons to dress like girls. And in addition to that, well, she responded and was like, you know, fuck off. I actually love her response because her response was like, you,

I love the fact, does this make me like Macon Fox even more? Um, that she responded with, um, you fucked with the wrong witch. And essentially he's just like, like,

almost like going after him psychologically, rather than like, going, like taking the low road or anything like that, which you can definitely take the low road towards this human being for sure. Very, She handled it.

She handled it well. And he was a congressional candidate, but I don't think he was an actual, I don't think he ever held elected office. But he, she said, I don't really want to give you this attention because you're clearly a clout chaser, but let me teach you something. Irregardless of how desperate you may be, you may become at any time to acquire well, fame, power, success, never use children as leverage or social currency, especially under malevolent and erroneous pretense.

Yes. Yeah, it is, it is, her response was great. And then she also continued, I've been burned at the stake by insecure, narcissistic, impotent little men like you many, many times that I'm still here. You fucked with the wrong witch. I love it.

I will say, though, irregardless, not really a word. Just throwing it out there. It's just regardless. I think you're fucking with the wrong witch right now. I'm sorry, I don't mean to come after you, Megan, with that. But also, MJ I accidentally called you Megan Cox. So I did. Somebody else should be betrayed.

Oh. And you weren't even watching the idol. And then this fucking psychopath responded by saying, I used to live in the same gated community and our kids played at the park. I saw two of the kids having a full on breakdown saying they were forced by their mom to wear girls' clothes as their nanny tried to console them, which is just 100% so obviously a lie. Yeah, totally insane. Why would anybody...

So clearly a lie. That's why in my immediate, I'm just like, why would anybody... no reasonable human being parent would like force their kids to wear what is generally societally like not super accepted you know what I mean like why would you just actively force your child to be put themselves I don't even think that I just think that like are you both of children how difficult is it to force them to wear something they don't want to wear yeah like you they won't leave the house like they literally like you they won't like they won't like they won't go to the park. If they don't want to wear it, they're not going to the park. Yeah, it's the same,

you know, to me it's the same thing as like, it's just so, it's so hard to be gay in America. No one just wakes up and is like, I'm going to be gay. That's my choice that I chose. Like, no one does that because you, asshole, make it so difficult for people to do those, to be, you know, live their truth in these ways. Right. Like, what's the theory here? No parent, yeah, what, what, why would she be, like you have to wear girls clothes. Be like, and open yourself up to potential ridicule and, you know, just

and re-per-cut, like. My children who I don't show off, right? These children who are privately like, I forget that she has kids. She doesn't, she's not like, it's not a Northwest situation and I hate to use her as an example because I really truly like want to leave Northwest out of it as much as possible.

But like, I feel like some celebrities are like, look at my kid. Like look and, and, you know, look at my really well-dressed, cool, stylish kid who, like, does her cool stuff and, like, that, all the, you know, like, we, we love Northwest and re-root for her. But it's not even that. These kids are private kids. They're not public figures. She's not, she's not, like, look at my cool, I mean, it would be great if she was like, look at my cool gender non-conforming kids. But she's not, these are just kids coming out out at the grocery store with her. And so, like, what is the theory? Like, to Holden's

point, like, is she purposefully forcing her kids to dress in girls' clothes? For what? Like, like, Because it will make her cool. Right. Not to mention to Jackie's point, yes, you cannot. I mean, plenty of kids have been forced to wear clothes that didn't align with their gender identity. Yes. People grew up that way. And they were usually forced under duress, right?

Because, again, a kid, you know, my kids walk around in that clothes they wear and people always stop. It depends on the kid. People always stop me and are like, I think it's so great that you let them dress themselves. I just think it's so wonderful. And it's like, I, they have to dress themselves. Like, they have an opinion about it. They have a feeling about it. They are big enough now that I cannot tell them you have to wear this.

They have to have buy-in, you know, and that's not even a parenting choice. I wish I could be like, it's because I care so much about what they think. It is a practical choice. And I care about what they think. But also think about the fights you have when they want to wear princess shoes and you know that they need real shoes on. And even just that fight alone. Yes, exactly. So the idea that she, and also, yeah, I did not know that Megan Fox used to be married to Brian Austin Green. Brian Austin Green. And he came in and he was like, this is insane. This is obviously a lie. There's just like nothing to this. So that's nice. You love to see parents on the same page defending their kids. And, you know, and she has spoken in the past about how her older child is, you know, gender nonconforming and that it's hard for him and that she says he's brave. And, um, you know, I'm here to protect him on this journey.

Because at the time, she said this last year that he liked to wear dresses. And so it's just like, I mean, it is really truly, I think, very symbolic of the like brain rot. Like that if people see, there's so much fucking panic that, you know, and also Megan Fox isn't even queer. So it's not like she's grooming her kids. Yeah. What is this? Again, what is this narrative? Yes.

But it's like they want to turn all the kids trans. That's, that's honestly the fear. Yeah, yeah, totally. The fear is we're turning all the kids. In the name of wokeness, we're forcing. It's what they hide behind when at the end of the day, it's just simple bigotry. They act like they're concerned about the kids, but then time and time again, they reveal their real game here, which is just pure bigotry, and it's disgusting.

And, yeah, it's crazy to be caught them, you know, kind of feeling caught up in this because we just got, if you're a drag queen and you know it, a book from Bards of Noble. We took Witty to like a drag reading. And I feel like I'm weirdly like now sort of embedded in this dumb fuck culture war we have around, you know, all this gender stuff with like raising a kid. And people think I'm, and people think I'm the children. People think I'm the devil.

You know what I mean? It's just so funny. Like we're doing that, you know, which is so insane. to me. Talk about think of the children. Now you, because you're a dad who likes a straight dad who likes drag and you want to take your little kid to see drag because it's fun. Now you have to think like, am I going to be attacked at this drag event? So weird. By these people who are claiming to think about the children. And there were protesters, you know, more protesters for the cause on the, on the right side at the library when we went. But it's like a real thing. There were people out there with

signs and on both sides, you know? It's LA. In New York, too. Yeah. It's just fucking... Yeah, even in New York, there's protests outside the... For the most innocuous... Drag Queen's story.

Nonsensical. Because these weird, horny old white guys cannot not sexualize a man in a dress. It's so weird. Yes. And this kid, I just want to point out that Beck and Fox's kids all look cool as hell. And this kid is wearing, one of the pictures, this kid is wearing a shirt that says Strong Girls, Strong World.

And it's just like, imagine how sad of a little prick you have to be to see a picture of three prepubescent private kids with their mom, like leaving a restaurant and be like, I am going to turn this into a culture war that's going to last the whole week by attacking these kids from this photograph of them that never even should have been taken.

Right. They're all minors. I honestly don't understand how that works in the world of, like, paparazzidom and what those laws are, because it's like, it's kind of make you feel icky to be taking pictures of kids that are private children. Like, doesn't that, like, I would never, I, like, I would take pictures of y'all's kids because I know these kids. But can you imagine just going to the park and taking a picture of someone else's child? I mean, we screamed about it on the leftovers last week, Patreon.com, port slash page 7 podcast. We talked about all the articles

we didn't cover the main feed show. We talked about that with that paparazzi that, I mean, it was yay, so you can't feel too bad, I guess, but he grabbed a paparazzi's phone and threw it, and they were trying to, like, they went on this whole diatribe about how we should feel bad for paparazzi, and I'm just like, bro, I will never feel bad. Like, this is the thing you have to understand about the career you chose.

I will never feel bad for you. I don't think anyone should ever put hands on anybody else. I don't think that, like, no matter what your career is, you shouldn't put hands on somebody else. but at the end of the day, if you're going to get screamed at, you're going to get screamed. I will never feel bad. And this person was like, I'm a journalist being attacked. And I'm like, okay, it's a little bit different for like the police to take your phone if you're trying to film something at a protest than to be like, I'm a paparazzi and you were mean to my phone.

And they pulled the same old card. It's like, no, that's not how it has to work where it's like, well, you're famous. This is the way it works. And it's like, no, I'll never go along with that. Like, that's the ultimate paparazzi credo of like, well, they opened themselves up for this. They chose to become famous and become a pop star or a rap star. It's like, no, I will never be cool. It'll never be cool.

And again, guess who didn't choose this, those kids? Yeah, oh yeah, especially. I can leave those kids alone. It always makes me think of their, like, that video that went viral like years ago of Hillary Duff holding her child and her screaming outside because she had just, had a baby and she's holding like her older child while the other child is inside and she's home alone and she's screaming out front of her house because she's like leave me a lot she's like I just had a child I am in here alone leave me the fuck get out the fuck away from my house and just like

screaming at them totally because like can you imagine that like that bear instinct to protect your family oh do you remember when Michael Jackson took his baby and just like what drug why you bring it a blanket right now why he was crazy He was like, uh-huh. And he just, like, put the baby right over the boundary. That's what everyone remembers about Michael Jackson. And he had that secret room full of fucking teddy bears, dude. What was that all about?

Yeah, well, Flav of Flav's favorite era of Taylor Swift is red. Okay? There's a picture of Flav of Flav at a T-Sway concert, and he is in his red era, and he is the, I've never seen this man. So over on our Patreon, if you were a $10 and up, Patreon, member, then we on Thursdays usually watch a show together over on our Discord. It went from Jersey Shore, but then we decided to take a divot and we watched Flava of Love. So we all now have like a weird connection with Flava Flav in our brain.

And when I saw the picture of him at Taylor Swift's concert was like, what a crossover we didn't even know we needed. I'm so happy you included this. I'm so excited for my journey with him. like so excited. Do you want to hit up Flav of Flav Now? Do you guys want to like

talk T-sway? Well I already know By the way he's definitely going to another concert He already tweeted Hey, can I get So first of all

And I need help with this too Actually If anybody out there Does this So the thing now Is you bring friendship bracelets To the show And you make friends

By like trading Friendship bracelets With other people So I need like a wrist Of friendship bracelets I just make them I don't know I don't know

I don't know I don't know I just put beads on a street on a piece of string and you could just get like letter beads, just go to the Michaels and you just put on string and then you tie it off at the end. Okay, great.

Yeah, I need, yes. Or, I mean, I can also teach you how to make friendship bracelets if you want to make like friendship braces, but these are all bead bracelets. Yeah, there's like bead bracelets. Yeah, that's easy. Okay, judge it or whatever. That's, no, I'm just saying it's easy to make

and I can show you how to make them. What I'm saying, let's show you to make them. Let's have a little party together, guys, and do it. If I come in, if I come to L.A. and July, let's have a little bracelet making. Let's have a bracelet making party, Or we can also do it at any point on our release the butthole cut tour. If you want to get tickets to that and also maybe see the friendship bracelets that we are making on tour.

Yes, maybe we'll exchange it with some people. Oh my God, maybe we'll exchange it. Maybe we should steal this idea. We'll make it ours. Last Podcast Network.com, by the way. So he asked for, he already asked, he's like, he's going again to another show and he was already like, hey, can I hire someone to make me some custom, like, bomb-ass friendship bracelets for the next time that I go because he got so many.

Like he had so many, like, so many people, like, lined up to give him friendship bracelets. He was wearing his red stuff. And he just had so much fun. And it was like, God, I need to go to the fucking show. I'm a fucking knife a drifter. I'm serious now. I need to go to Erez, God damn it. I feel like if you met, I just had a realization, I have this sparkly, one-piece, stretchy,

like, leotard spangly suit that I've been trying to get rid of. Do you also have a plus size one hidden somewhere so that we can match? I wore it for Sticker Treat in probably 2011 when I did Phyllis Diller at Sticter Tree. Which is a comedy show, by the way, where comedians dress up and act and do like a full act as another comedian. So it's like a very Phyllis Diller-y old lady sequin suit. But I realize I've been trying to give it away, but nobody wants it. And because it's just not quite right for me anymore, but I'm realizing it would be a perfect outfit for an ERAs show.

And I forgot to try to go away before she came here. And so I might bring it to you guys and see if anybody who's going to L.A. eras can fit in it because it needs to be worn to a Taylor show. It is like, let us recast this Phyllis Diller one piece as a Taylor Swift one piece. That's... Can I also lay a crazy? I have to be so vague about this. I'd probably get in trouble if anyone found out who it was.

So I go to this like, we take and we're taking way into this like Montessori thing on Saturday mornings now, which is really cool and I really liked it. And a person there is a celeb who is very publicly tight friends with T. Swift. And I forgot. We knew Lexi was like, oh, yeah, this person's in the Montessori thing. And I was like, oh, cool. Oh, interesting. I know who they are, but I'm not like starstruck by them per se. But then after the class was like, it was definitely that person because they introduced themselves with the person's name and everything. I'm trying to be very vague.

But then I was like, wait a second, and I googled it. And it was just like, that person on stage with T-Swift, like, this person is like tight. So I'm going to wear my high-it-s-me of the problem with me T-shirt next time I go and just try to like see if I could like slide up it. You turn this into a seducing mixer?

Oh my God. At the Montessori school? You're going to be wearing the high. It's me. I have the problem with it's me shirt. And then just go up to this person and be like, so can you get me backstage at Taylor Swift's show? You got me back. You're just covered in sweat.

No, no. In my head, I was kind of sweaty when I went last time. But in my head, they'll be like, nice shirt. And then I'd be like, yeah, I'm a huge fan. But I have the worst tickets for eras that have been the very bad. On one night, but the other night I have got great tickets. I'm not going to have talking about that part. Oh, you're not going to bring that up?

I'm just going to say I'm going to be like, make them feel bad and be like, oh, yeah, I have awful tickets. So I'm so sad. I want to rip my own cock off and, um, yeah, say that in Montessori school. And they'll be like, oh, don't do that. I've got this extra best friend pass of hers. I've been looking for somebody to give to. They can put me in that booth.

All the celebrities are always in that black shirt. I'm sure that's exactly. Well, you've got about. Well, you've got about a month and a half, and you better get going, because you've got a friend to me. You got a lot of Taylor Swift shirts to wear. Did you just fucking remind me that it's a month and a half away?

Yeah, dude. Just wear a Taylor Swiss shirt every Saturday. Don't be excited, Holden, because now you have a whole friendship to make so that you can get better tickets. That's not a lot of time. I need this person to know that I like her more than anyone. Promise me.

Promise me that you'll wear the shirt that I gave you that says, Eat My Ass, Taylor's version. Please, we'll do. All right, I just realized. You guys, we got to get to the celebrity conspiracy. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it?

This one comes in from Dustin, who writes, well, first of all, is Tupac really 50 cent? Now I've heard everything. Whoa. Yeah. But it's not racist. Jesus Christ. Any celebrity conspiracy theory that starts off like that, man, I am here for it. This one comes in from Dusty,

who makes very good points. The year was 1998, and Tupac's greatest hits compilation was all fucking over the place, even the elementary school playground in my very white, very small town of Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Me and the other fifth graders dropped our backstreet boys in-sync fandom, and for

some wacky reason, all became obsessed with hardcore West Coast gangster rap. Even though I shouldn't have repeated most of the words, one in particular, I ate that shit up and memorize every lyric to every song. Fast to 2003. Pock has been dead, but still releasing music for almost a decade by now. And then suddenly a newcomer takes the hip-hop scene by storm. 50 cent. But was he in fact a newcomer?

Or was he just the reinvented persona of Tupac Choucair. Tupac was way over his head in the West Coast, East Coast beef and needed to lay low. He faked his death to get out of the dangerous lifestyle in which he could actually get clipped by rival gang members. After years of hanging in Cuba, he feels the need for fame again. He works out, gets plastic. surgery and seamlessly returns the rap game with former collaborators Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog. Let's go with some supporting clues. 50 Cent alluded to his name being a metaphor for change. Change from Tupac to 50 cent.

Duh. They literally wrote duh. Explanation point. Tupac often called himself Machiavelli, a famous historical figure that also was known for faking his death and reemerging later. You all ever see Tupac shirtless? dude has a 50 prominently tattooed on his abdomen. There is some serious wackity-shmackety bullshit

surrounding Tupac's cremation. The man who carried out the process allegedly disappeared and has never been seen again. There were also inconsistencies with the crematory process. For example, Pock's Social Security number was not registered in the official death index. The number seven appears throughout Tupac's lyrics in life. He was shot on September 7th.

He was 25 when he died. Two plus five is... 57. 50 cents. I'll come away. What, Jackie? Oh, does the truth making your fucking... You're right.

It took me a minute to get where we even got two plus five is seven. I get it, Jackie. You just want to choke yourself and flick your bean, but sometimes we have to face the truth. Put some ice in my bones. She's got slices on her in her thighs, MJ. Oh, I know. From the cold glass she mused at the beans. Yeah, try not to zap me too hard while I hump into the air.

50-6. Sorry, that's one of the things that the weekend does as like a cult leader to my control. And he's like, no, closer. And he's just like, hump? And I was like, is he just humping? And he's just zapping him while he humps? Yeah, I think so. I can't wait until he gets more and more culty.

It's going to be so fun. 50 cent came on the scene in 2003. Seven years after his death, seven again. An anagram for Curtis Jackson is. junk acrostics, while an anagram for two bucks Choucourt is a fat ruckus. A fat ruckus indeed! What? I love you, Taylor, and I just need someone to tell her for me. Is that in the email or is that you? No, that's me. Oh, okay. Love y'all, says Dustin closes it. Wow. Oh, you know, I like to try to believe on me. I do. Yeah, you're right. I'm not sure that I can extend that one to this.

although I do agree that 2 plus 5 equals 7 for sure. Yes. I also agree with that. I will say at the end of the day, there was a man named Jesus Christ, and he said, I, you know, if you take me out, I'll come right on back. I'm the son of the big man. And everybody just had to believe. If you...

So does that mean Tupac is Jesus Christ? Could be. I don't know. If he said he was, I guess I'd try to believe him. That's another theory. I mean, there's so many conspiracy theories around Tupac's death that in a way we have to hand it to this one for being the one I haven't heard. Yeah.

Yeah. There you go. Thank you. The dusty. The 50s. The 50s, the crazy. I'll tell you what, in every Wackadoo conspiracy there is some interesting information. That crematorium info was kind of interesting.

Oh, yeah. So even if you don't believe any of it, it's kind of wild that they botched his cremation. And 2 plus 5 equals 7. Like, I haven't thought about addition in a while. Yeah. But how about this? When to become one. Never love

Never want to Love before Wanna make love to you, baby Honestly listen to the Spice Girls Are you in a bad mood? Listen to the Spice Girls It might spice up your life That's my ad

For the Spice Girls right now And what else And I'm singing about Listin Oh Who's on the list Me? Jackie! Gotta have that list

Celebrities who change their name and why I am going to be very upfront with you I chose this list because of the first one I looked at, which is Whoopi Goldberg. Karen Johnson changed her name. She says, when you're performing on stage, you never really have time to go into the bathroom and close the door.

So if you get a little gassy, you got to let it go. So people used to say to me, you're like a whoopee cushion, and that's where the name. Wow. Wow. It's a really fun comedian name, though, for sure. It is, but like, I just, I can't imagine. If I thought someone had gas problems, I don't think I'd be like, who are you? Who are you?

Who are you? You got gas coming out of this? I think I would never bring it up. Did multiple people tell her she's like a whoopie cushion? Or did just one person do that and it stuck with her so much? I don't know. She says, people used to say to me, you're like a whoopee cushion. So in my head, this is multiple people.

If two people said I was like a wuppie cushion, I would change my name. Oh, Jackie, your new name's. Gassie Jane. Your name's Gassie Jane. Gassie Jane. Yeah, I'm gonna call you Gassie Jane now. Is this like a Smokey Joe thing? But like we like Smokey Joe.

No one likes Gassie J. So that's the difference there. Whatever Gassie Jane. All right, Gassie J. That's what they did. I was like, don't, that's a dumb name. They were like, oh, go, Smoky. You know what I mean? Polly. Now the bully gets bullied. Teen H. Holden being like,

that name doesn't make any sense. And then being like, oh, should we stop? So mad at how unfair the world is. so upset that the matter I get, and this is in any situation, the matter I get, the more they laugh. Of course.

It must be hard to have that dynamic recreated on the show every week, too. That'll still, yes. Oh, there it buys his ass. There it is. Please. That's right. I am in a creation of mine

and a jail of my own. Anyways. Oh, where's Jackie's little prisoners at? How they're feeling? No one knows what's like to be. The side. Little prisoners. Yeah, well, Julianne Moore's

original name was Julianne Smith, and that is Borough. Yeah, it's boring. To join actors' equity, Julie Ann Smith needed a name that was less popular. Father's middle name is Moore.

My mother's name is Anne, so I just slammed the Anne onto the Julie, but it's horrible to change your name. I feel like I'm at a cocktail party right now, and I'm falling asleep. Are you asleep? Listening to Julianne Moore explained to me her real.

I'm like, damn, I really wanted to meet her, but now she's going on and on about her name. Oh, she passed me once on the street. It is a boring story, but I didn't know how boring her original name was. Not to give you shit. You do a great job picking lists every week. I know, which I literally told you. I didn't look at the rest of the list.

I saw the whoopty cushion and I chose this list. Dr. Dre, Andre Romel Young changed his stage name to basketball player. Julius Irving's nickname Dr. J. Then went to Dr. Dre to include his own name. Isn't it interesting? thing. This, I think, pisses me off. Calvin Harris, his original name Adam Wiles.

Adam Wiles' motives for a name change are rather questionable. He wanted a more racially ambiguous name when he first released a soul track. Oh. Which is really yuppance. Yeah, because Adam Wiles also sounds like a

pop star name. Yeah, Adam Wiles is a fine name. That is a very strange way to, strange reason to change Very strange. Well, I will say Marcus Parks, though, did the same thing. Yeah, he changed it to that. Yeah, so no one would be named Charles Chatworth. Yeah.

Charles Chatworth. And he didn't want to be associated like, oh, he chats all the time and, like, making fun of him like that. He's got to get rid of it. I get it. Marcus Jordan Parks, his middle name is Jordan. He did change that as well. But what about Mark Sinclair?

Mark Sinclair was in his mid-teens working as a bouncer in New York City clubs when he needed to change his name to something tougher. So he changed it to Vin Diesel. Vin, the fact that he chose Vin Diesel, of course he chose Vin Diesel. But can you imagine him being like, oh, like just him, the, him trying to figure out what his tough name should be? It was like, going back to Nick. It's a name. Going back to nicknames, we were handing out nicknames in college.

One guy wanted to be called Viper X. And we're like, dude, it's never going to, you're never going to be Viper X, ever. You're never going to be. He wasn't cool enough for a Vitex. Ever. How about this theory? Sinclair used to be the popular gas station. He's like, I should make a little play on gas.

Dinosaurs. Diesel. Whoopi. Whoopi cochine. Sinclair is gas for pussies. Diesel is gas for big strong boys, you know? Bigs, yeah, you don't want regular gas. I want that extra truck gas.

Last but not least, cookie monster. In a song in 2007, and again, in 2017, Cookie Monster revealed his real name was Sydney Monster. Wow. Love it. I can't believe you skipped Olivia Wilde. His original name was Olivia Cockburn.

Oh, yeah. I mean, well, I'm trying not to get, you know, in trouble again for bullying Olivia Wilde. He has a history of bullying Olivia Wild online. So I don't want to bully against her, even though you guys are the prisoners. Miss Cockburn. It's a boring salad. It certainly is.

All right. don't want none, okay? He wants that fucking pussy salad. Jason Sadegis doesn't need it anymore either. Yeah, he's whatever anyways. The show is whatever at this point. Whoa. We don't need feel-good stuff anymore, Jason.

We're out of the pandemic. Nice try, though. You tell him, holding. All right. And I'll smell him too, but I won't see him because I think I'm going blind. I don't. Oh, we can't see him. All right.

First one up. This is fun. It has been quite some time since this foreign-born permanent A-list athlete had a beard. He has found one and doesn't even need to pay this one. This A-List athlete, I'm going to say... Lance Armstrong.

No. No, I want to say close. I mean, he races. They both race. They're both racers. Dale Earnhardt Jr.? No, but a similar, not that racing circuit,

but the other very popular jockeys. Oh, man, I know so many jockeys. I can't name another race car man. Who's another race car man? The person, okay, how about let's go with the beard. The beard, everyone. Ooh, they scream about this person's ass back in the day. And now they're older, but they're still here to play.

And they recently did a co-headline. No. Shakira. Yes. But she's with a sportsman? Yeah, she was... Oh, yeah, we talked about the F-1 guy. Yes.

I don't know. I don't know his name. Okay, there's a hip-hop musical, and it's all the rage. What's in Hamilton? Okay, and the first word is... Juicy. Juicy Hamilton. Oh, that's decidedly dancing.

Grimes with Guis. Okay, Lewis Hamilton. Yes, and Shakira. The two were spotted hanging out on a boat last month, and Shakira watched him compete in the F1 Spanish Grand Prix last week while rumors abound that they are dating, which is hilarious, because I came right on the heels of Tom Cruise being like,

I'm very excited about my prospects with Shakira. I would love to. He talked about her like she was a car he wanted to buy. It was like, I'm very curious about continuing my enjoyment of Shakira. Moving forward, I would like a lot to be friends. It was like a wrestling promo. or something. You know what I mean?

He's like the prospect. He's a part of the B-52s. Yeah. He does, though, isn't he? Yeah, that's fun, though. I don't know. It does seem, maybe it is a beard. That seems interesting to me.

Louis Hamilton's like the F-1 guy. Oh, yeah. Well, him for stopping is big, too. Well, he should be versh going. All right, please, everyone. Yeah, guys. This next... Yeah, guys, I still got it.

The prisoners! This next one is like... Man, I'm rooting for this next one so hard. You have no idea. Okay, okay. All right. My brain is in it. Okay.

I'm sure lots and lots of people have this A-plus list singer as the home and lock screen on their phone. This A-list actress slash superhero slash Oscar winner has won two. The two of them together. For the longest time, it rotated between a pet and an outdoor shot and something from Europe. Then, within the past week, it is them. Just an interesting coincidence. So two hot ladies. Okay.

One is an A-plus list singer. Okay, Beyonce. Taylor. No, we want her desperately to be gay. Yes. Okay. Taylor Swift. The other one's a superhero.

Bree Larson. Yes. How fucking hot. And the theory is that because they have each other on their phone picture, that's, or does Taylor has Bree on her phone or just Bree has Taylor on her phone? It just seems that Bree has Taylor, and she does seem a bit of like a pick-me late gal when it comes to Taylor. But maybe... I mean, I fear that that's not because they're gay, but it's just because Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift and having a picture with her.

I know, but how... What a perfect power couple. That would be a... For the Gayler community, right? Can I also just say that it really creeps me out that we know what her locks creeps-y-law is? By the way, it's not my lock screen photo, but it's not my lock screen photo, but my home screen is T. Swift. I was because I was about to be like, who has Taylor Swift as their phone's photo? I do.

It's in my, yeah, and I just need to show the person that at the thing. Yeah, that'll get you back. Yeah, that won't weird them out at all. Oh, whoops, drop my phone. I'm going to do a British accent too, I think, just to kind of make it seem like I'm a little more highfalutant. Oh, oopsie, dude. Drop me phone. Oh, T-Smith Day.

Yeah, you sound like Mrs. Delt. She's a lovelina. Well, I will be dressed like an old lady. Yeah. Of course, so I take Winnie anywhere. How old are you supposed to see your kids? Yeah, exactly. Completely.

So, yeah, I just, that's a fun. That Gailer, come on, because it's not just a model. No offense to models, but it's like a really strong, badass, you know, great actor. And then the actor, and then pre-year-old. could like be in Taylor's movies she directs. Rising from the ashes of Matt, Maddie Healy into... Oh, how dare you say his name?

I know, I almost forgot his name just now. That's how much my... Good for you. Forget him. I didn't even want to know. And then it's just like, oh, they're lust, right? I bet somebody'd be checking themselves and smacking a bean around like it's a fucking...

Ice in the folds. You know. I don't even know what. Smack it around like it's fun of those clowns at a carnival that you shoot with a gun. God, Sam Levinson must think that young women, all we did was jerk off. Right.

I guess it's so far in the other way of like not talking about. That's the thing. Women jerking off. So it's so far on the other direction. The whole show is just trying to be like, whoa, wow, now I've seen every, you know, the whole show's just trying to be that. Like, aren't we crazy? Aren't we edgy? It's like, not

really. Yeah. We went from last week talking about how sex in the city was like the first time that like a nation realized that women talk about sex and now it's like Sam Levittsen over here just being like, I think the teenage girls just violently masturbate. Yeah.

And then cut themselves to blame. You know what I mean? Yeah. All right. Last one. Ooh, this one's real filler one. This one's a give up one. Okay.

So really get ready for just a pretty much like a wet dog of a blide. You know, just a dog shit blind. All right. be all wet. This foreign born, no, like in a bad way.

Oh, I thought you meant like a dog. Like a wet. When you said that, I imagined a dog like just got out of like a lake and jumped up on me and I was like, no, we're cuddling and we're like where I'm wet and I shouldn't be.

No, no, it's like you're trying to sleep. It's six in the morning. You're just trying to sleep. You're hungover. And the dog runs up and jumps on you to sleep. Why did the dog get?

Well, that's the question. Well, that's what I'm about to reveal. So then you're like, wait a second. You start. sniffing. Is that toilet water? And it's that that got inside

the toilet. And then ran over to you and just got it all over. And you forgot to flush. You've been pissing all night. That's what this blind is. It's so bad. Okay, well, I don't want that. This foreign-born A-list model is in over her head and has been smuggling diamonds between various European countries and the U.S. names famous models.

Oh, a diamond smuggling diamonds. Yes, she's smuggling diamonds. Tyra Banks. Heidi Klum. Next. No, fucking next. Naomi. That's it.

What's her last name? Gamble. Yes. Good job, guys. Those are the only three models I know. I was about to say. I was like, I'm running out of models. Don't worry.

Well, Gigi Hadee, I would know that one. What was the, Cindy? What was her name? Timothy Crawford. Yeah. We're all naming models from 20 years ago. 30 years ago. Well, that was the same.

the era of the supermodel. Now it's the era of the influencer model, but you don't, I only know a couple of them because I'm not, you know, like I'm not the kids. The eye it lingers, though, doesn't it? Yeah, the eye it lingers. The eye, it lingers for sure. But I don't know, their names. They're just, they're just nameless,

hot Instagram ladies. Yeah. So Naomi Campbell's smuggling diamonds? Yeah, it's dumb. It's whatever. But anyways, I can see again, and I see a couple of very pleased co-host. Yes. What is that? Ah, Smokey Joe is coming to tonight.

Don't like this voice, and I am glad that this voice came out more towards the end of the show. Thank you guys so much for joining us. You can see again, right? Yeah, I can see again. With your give up blind? Well, with my blue eyes, no one knows what is like to be the saddest man. Yep, you just beautiful. I think that we know why you had this song.

in your headhold. And I think you were thinking, no one knows what it's like to be the saddest man. To be the sad man to be the bad man. That's how it got in your head. You just wrote the song in your head and then you realized that song already exit.

So talk about it in therapy and not on the podcast is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. You can work out your feelings about being the saddest man and the baddest man. Or you can talk about it, you know, somewhere on your social media because my name is Jackie Zabrowski

and you could follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm if you'd like. You also can come and hang out with me over on Twitch.tv. Oh, no, it's Jackie. But most importantly, if you do anything this day, go to Last Podcast Network.com and see if we are coming to your town

and get tickets to the release, the Butthole Cut tour. Because we are revving back up. We're going back on the road next week. We're coming for you, Portland and Tacoma. So excited to get back on the road and start singing with my friends. Fucking love it, dude.

Last Podcast Network.com. bro. Holden. Patreon.com. Are you trying to be the chick I was banging? Yeah. I was yelling my name and that Kistel listened to and kept

telling me about. That's what I was trying to be. Man, she's still out there. She is still out there. I had her blocked on, I went to my blocked list on Faye. That's kind of a fun thing to do. Go to your block list and just see. I don't think I've ever blocked anybody. Yeah, I blocked her. She was getting real

rough to follow. You know what I mean? I like hate follow people. And then I flip out and I just cut them out. I'm like, stop, you've got to get out of this. Stop. But anyways, a lot of... Have that enough?

That enough. Yeah, I like won it all or none of it. No in between. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. We have weekly bonus episodes for $5 a month. Jackie reads books. We do the leftovers, which I mentioned earlier. Pre-show ticket links.

Or, yeah, pre-sale ticket links. And ad-free episodes. versions of these main feed shows for just $5. It is a ridiculous deal. It's so good. Also, $10 a month join us for our jersey Shore watchongs, which we also mentioned

early in the show. Again, patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Follow me, Twitch.tv. forward slash Holdenatorsho. I stream Monday through Friday. And on Friday, I stream with Jackie, and we party, and it is the place to be

on Fridays at 6 p.m. ET. MJ! Take it away. My name is MJ. And I am MJKL Kat. Time for the shoutout song. Shout. Shout.

Let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read it up to you. Come on. Behind blue eyes. Well, thank you kindly. Oh, where did that Asento come from?

I just wanted to thank you guys so much for sending in your shoutouts to page 7 podcast. at gmail.com, it always makes a smile, especially when we're talking about Riverdale. But this is not the time for Riverdale shoutouts, Jackie. This is our time for our page seven shoutouts. And that is shoutouts to loved ones, shoutouts to yourself, and shoutouts to whomever the heck you want to send some love to. First up on our shoutouts list, we have the amazing Peter, who is writing in. in a shoutout for their girlfriend, Jeanette.

Peter says, Jeanette and I have been together for two and a half years now, and this week is her birthday week. She introduced me to last podcast on the left a few years back, and after getting hooked, I introduced her to page seven. She and I listen religiously to your episodes, and I know a birthday shoutout from you would mean the world to her. Year 32 for Jeanette included lots of change for her. She battled really hard to separate from her toxic family who treated her like a nuisance and always belittled her in every accomplishment she ever made.

Under suspicion that her family was taking advantage of her financially, she opened up her own bank account and got her own individual phone plan for the first time. She did this even though it was scary and tough and stressful. Her strength and determination to seek out what makes her happy is one of the biggest reasons why I love her so much. Year 33 for her, or as I like to call it, 30 free, is a year I hope will bring her much happiness and peace that she clearly deserves. As we continue to build our lives together and seek out happiness, I hope this space we create for ourselves is one that she feels free to be herself. I could not ask for a better partner or friend, and I feel she deserves recognition on her birthday. I love you and happy 33, sweetheart. I love Peter. Thank you so much for the adorable shout out to Jeanette. Oh, it warms my heart. I love you guys. I also have an amazing shoutout for Catherine.

Catherine says, I'm turning 28 on June 14th. My partner and I are both busy and broke, so I didn't plan anything for my birthday. I'm not where I thought I'd be in life, but we really love each other, and I think things are going to be okay eventually. I may not be having a party this year, but I'm writing this in because I still deserve to feel special. Kudos to all the other self-shouter outers out there. I'm sure not as easy as it sounds. Oh, Catherine, thank you so much for writing a self-shoutout because you do deserve it, baby. Broke or not, birthdays are still special. You still matter and you are amazing. Thank you for writing a self-shout because you're right.

It's difficult to celebrate ourselves sometimes, and thank you so much for taking the opportunity. Honestly, it's the best gift you could give yourself, Catherine, I love you so much and happy birthday, baby! Well, poo on my nose for leaving Miss B, the ethereal, the one and only Miss B's, happy birthday. For last we love you'll be. I wish to be. You can't rhyme B with B. I don't know where I'm going with this. What I wanted to say was happy birthday, but I wasn't the only one that wanted to say happy birthday,

because Jasmine wanted to say happy birthday too. Jasmine says, I want to send a shout out to our amazing friend B, aka that's my name B from Twitch. B and my dad share a birthday, so I think that makes a family. Or maybe my daddy? Me and Miss B met through this amazing Twitch slash page 7 community, and I am so grateful for it. We've had many a late night gab sesh talking about every. from life, love, and trauma, and drank so much wine. I just want B to know I love her, and I promise one of these days I'm crashing your house,

and we are going to go wine tasting and make that amazing husband, Daddy Choochoo, play chauffeur. Love Jasmine, and I love you too, B, you know her from chat. You love her from chat. Please give it up, everybody. Yeah, Jack, you. Give it up, everybody. everybody say happy birthday thee happy birthday be yeah i did that so put that in your hat and smoke it

and last but not least i want to give a shout out to novella thank you so incredibly much for telling us about the asylum radio network novella says my friend and i own a rock radio station not so shameless plug, hell yes, the Asylum Radio Network. If you like rock, metal of all kinds, we got it. I am proud of how far we have come since our launch in 2021. We still have a lot of work to do, but I am proud of what we have accomplished so far, and I'm so proud of myself for developing confidence in myself. A slower progress than the business, but still progress. Oh, hell yes, so happy for you, so proud of you. Because it does. It takes a lot to work on ourselves. And having the encouragement to continue on

and seeing that change every day, even if it's not every day, maybe you just notice the change every once in a while. It's so hard to work on yourself because we so often put ourselves last. And it's not how it should be. We have to take care of ourselves. And I'm so proud of you, Novel. I'm proud of everyone that wrote in today. And just, oh, it fills me with such joy to see these self-shoutouts, to see these love shoutouts. Thank you so incredibly much. And you can send your own shoutouts into page 7 podcast at gmail.com. I hope everybody has a beautiful week. And we'll see you next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one

you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. Yeah.