Page 7 - Ep. 499: Sequins On The Corpse Bag

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

This week we're gossin' 'bout how absolutely fucking atrocious 'The Idol' is, Jackie has her ARMS WIDE OOOOPEN, Colleen Ballinger's Ukulele KFC Doubledown and how she definitely checked the time stamp to monetize her "apology", Tom Hank's asking his niece the important questions, Holden sings his OWN "apology" ukulele song, some podcast reviewer says this is turning into a T Swift podcast SO I GUESS I WON'T PUT IN THE DESCRIPTION WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT REGARDING T SWIFT OR WHATEEEEEEEVER, the Grimace Shake phenomenon and how it's bringin' the internet TOGETHA, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Was Brit-Brit REPLACED!?!?! A List for all the goth babez and BBBLIIINNNDDZZZZ Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey, LPN fans, page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on tour. Yes, the Last Podcast Network presents the release of Butthole Cut tour could be coming to your town. Holden, where are we going? July 11th will be in Oklahoma City, July 12th, Kansas City, Missouri, and finishing out in July 13th, St. Louis. Be there. MJ, where can we get tickets? For tickets, go to Last Podcast Network.com. Say it again.

That's Last Podcast Network.com. Oh, Holden, I thought you were going to start us off with world-class sinner. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I can do that. You don't have to. I can start with what I was going to start with. Start with what you. I can't put people through this fucking song anymore, man.

I'm sick of... Oh, you can't think about the idol, just right up top. You can't just slide right into the idol. In fact, I drunkenly made a note on Friday to sing with arms wide open. Oh, my guy. Do you want to sing it now? Oh, no, the soul I... Welcome to...

To this bless, I show you everything. Where I'm what about. I'm just a freak, yeah. Oh, now you know I want to start with the idols. I knew you wanted to start with the idol. You'd rather than the idol that arms right open. But I don't need to know your name. We have to look at the lyrics because all we remember is,

I'm a freak yeah. That and. Oh, I mean, it's so much better. I'm a freak yeah This is a reference for no one No one is watching the idol Holden We are I think the only two people Watching the entirety of the idol

We're probably traumatizing our Jack and with the Holdys Twitch viewers because people were getting like Legitimately upset at how much we kept singing the song And talking about how stupid It's so bad and I had a couple of friends over last night And they were like we're curious we want to see some So I put on I was in the middle of episode four because I can only watch the show

in like 20-minute segments, sequences before I get nauseous. And I just put it on just in time to have Lily Rose Depp getting fucking finger blasted by the weekend in front of a room full of people with a blind... Because it makes her art better. She's singing her new pop song

about being... About how good the weekend is at, like, subduing her and like torture or whatever, sexually getting her. It's so... fucking, man, everything. This is, I need to try to keep a positive. I'm in a good mood, okay?

And Colleen and the weekend and all these people are trying to put me in a weird funky space. It's a holiday week. You know, there's, it's a holiday week. I'm blown away. While I'm here to support hot dogs, I hope everybody's out there

eating your hot dog consumption this week. I don't even think we're allowed to anymore. I'm just going to say right now. I don't even think we're allowed to this. year, Jackie. Off the menu. I'm not celebrating the nation. I'm just going to eat a hot dog. It's a non-denominational hot dog day.

You don't need to have any feelings about the nation and its laws. It's just a dog day. It's just a dog day. Hope everyone to celebrate dog days. You decide what you want to celebrate this dog day. If it's just dogs, then good for you. Hell yeah. If you just want to watch the movie Dog Day afternoon on Dog Day, that's tough too.

I mean, if you want to get upset about a lot of the same things that were currently upset about, yeah, watch dog day after noon. No, put on Independence Day at least. Yeah, we'll support. That's a fun one. We'll support Bill Pullman in this. So this is a Bill, it's a Bill and Dogs kind of week this week. So that's what we support here on page seven because there's also, there's a lot of negative

stuff in the news right now, guys, right? We're trying to be positive here. We're trying to have a little bit of a smile, trying to think about, oh, my God, me yelling at people when they try to put ketchup on their hot dogs. Hold in. Well, wait, I can make you feel better. Jackie, just where's my ukulele? Oh, somewhere in here, I think.

We weren't going to talk about Miranda sings. We weren't going to talk about Colleen Ballard. We're going to talk about this situation. We weren't going to talk about it. But then she had to do a 10-minute-long ukulele apology song, and we can't not bring it up. We can't just keep pretending like this is happening. All right, first of all, though, we've made it the misstep that is killing me that everyone's making.

It is not an apology video or songs. It is a defense. It is a bizarre double-down, defensive ukulelea. It's double-down. That's what it is. Yeah, it's a double-down. It's a fucking piece of meat.

It's a KFC double-down. Piece of meat sandwich between two pieces of meat. Yeah, KFC double-down. Guys, both referencing the double-down. Yeah. Thank you for knowing what it was on a double-down because I forgot that it was just a chicken sandwich, but with two pieces of chicken instead of the bread.

Right. What a time, man. We really passed our golden years in this country, didn't you? Yeah. No, I didn't get to try one of those. And now it's too late. Yeah. You could probably make your own.

Oh, God. Maybe that's the chain of events that put us down this road, just like the cat's curse, that now we've got Colleen with her fucking ukulele. And, you know, I had been privy to this stuff along the way, too. Like, people are like, you got to check out what's going on with Colleen Ballinger, Miranda sings. and all this kind of stuff. And of course, I've always thought not, you know, she's a children's entertainer, though.

So it's like kind of hard to say she's hack when it's like that's, she's playing to 10-year-olds or whatever, right? Yeah. For those of you who have absolutely no idea who we are talking about, we were talking about Colleen Ballinger. Thank you, Jackie. We got to start from the beginning here because some of us are not as online to understand. I mean, and I'm very online. I'm just in a different part of online. And I was like, everybody has their sections.

Totally, totally. I'm in a different neighborhood of online. The entire YouTube, the entirety of YouTube feels like a, like the way that we talked about how there's like the Netflix high school of reality shows and we go to a different high school than the Bravo reality show people. Right, we do. The YouTube fandom people. And I say this in a non-judgey way.

I have spent time in YouTube world and there's things about it that are cool. I feel like when I was first coming out, I found like trans YouTube and it was really helpful. But that said, the kind of giant, expansive universe of YouTube fandom feels like not only a different high school, but like a different universe, like a different planet. So, yeah, let's explain this. We were just simply too old to ever have had enjoyed Miranda Singh, which Miranda Sing's is her YouTube persona is Colleen Ballinger, who is the real person. Miranda Singh is her YouTube persona. And essentially, she was doing this, like, satirical look. of young girls on YouTube?

Even that's insidious and it's inherently because it's making fun of just kids. Yes. Trying to like put songs out on YouTube. Totally. Trying to like. An adult making fun of earnest children is just cruel. Like it's the whole premise is starts off with cruelty

in a way that's weird for a children's entertainer. Right. You know? Like my premise was to make fun of earnest young girls who liked to sing. Yeah. That's okay. I guess that's your children's entertainment, but yes, go on.

And so she essentially, she got really, really big for doing this. She also does live shows where she live will make fun of children and bring up children on stage and do things like I watch this atrocious, atrocious clip of her having this, like, he must have been 10 or 11 on stage. And she had these like cheese balls that were inside of her pants that he was going in and like pulling the cheese balls out and like eating it because they were pretending. like they were on a date, quote unquote. And like, that's just, it's just weird, uncomfortable of like, no matter the fact that your character is supposed to be like 14, why are you setting it up to go on fake dates with

real children on stage? I just find that I wouldn't want my kid involved in something like that. I would just say, but I'm saying this is someone, I know that I'm not a parent. Right. So maybe I would feel differently, but I know you guys both have kids. I don't know how you would feel about like, well, I wouldn't want my kids watching someone that is doing things like that. Totally. Or like, and then going to a live show too.

That's what I'm saying about the live shows of like putting your kid in that. Like it's one thing if you're having them watch it through a screen, but putting them in that scenario where they could be essentially kind of I feel made fun of in front of other people. We have to remember that these people are not vetted. They're just not. Like, there's some YouTube guidelines that they have to adhere to. Outside of that, these people are not vetted. And, you know, and I even feel some type of way about

because a lot of what's going on is, like, also outside of the live show thing that she's doing that's weird. And we're talking weird stuff. There's also a yoga bit where she would pick out. Apparently, too, I was looking into it, and apparently these girls would dress to get picked. And to get picked, they would have to wear skimpy clothing to get,

picked to be brought on stage. They were trying to get picked by wearing's little skimpy clothing. It was part of the deal of going to a live show of hers. Yes. Because she would call those people out and talk about how like what she was wearing, which was very covered, was what, you know, you should be wearing. As a joke. Right. But like, yeah. It's hard in terms of thinking about kids getting, doing this because I imagine if you're parent and you're trying to be like supportive of your 12 or 13 year old and they get into it, most of, it is, it's hard. It's, it's hard. it might feel, I think this is actually kind of lost in the way that groomer has become this meaningless word. I think one of the things that so...

Groomer's the new woke. Right. And it's like, actually, what is a little bit scary about this is that this might start off seeming totally normal, like she's doing funny songs, she's doing funny bits. And the reason why it's kind of sinister is it's, I mean, it's not subtle when you just watch a YouTube clip and she's encouraging a nine-year-old boy to reach into her pants. But I can... It really is. Like, you really... I imagine, like, it's like, well, you didn't see the whole bit I'm like, but I did see that one section, though.

But can't you imagine a world in which you're like a parent and your kid is into this? And you're like, I mean, I think it's kind of weird, but maybe it just makes, there's, it's this whole world and I don't really get it, right? Isn't it possible to imagine how that might happen? Or being a tween and being like, well, I think these songs are funny. And I think this bit where she puts girls in these vulnerable poses and makes fun of them, I think that's kind of weird. But I'm a, there's just, I think that the way that inappropriate behavior gets, laundered by being surrounded. It's not like a giant waving red flag, right?

It's like a red flag that's sometimes surrounded by a more normal shit. And again, I don't understand this person or their art, but I can understand how you can kind of get swept up into that without necessarily seeing the red flags. I mean, if you look at the comments on all these YouTube videos, it's a bunch of parents being like, I'm so excited to bring my daughter to this because she's so excited. Right. You know what I mean?

And so that's what makes it also so gross because this is an adult. She's not a 14 year old doing this stuff to other 14 year old. She's an adult, so she should know better. And I feel like I understand how kids, and ideally you would like parents, again, to be maybe recognizing that there were some red flags there, but I can understand how a YouTube fandom might feel just really confusing for grownups and they want to support their kids or kids love the whole universe of it. And it just happens.

And that's how grooming happens, you know? Yeah, totally. Totally. And so that's just all the lead up to what's, really... Yeah, because this isn't even what she's being accused of, what she's being accused of, is that there's a lot of screenshots of a group that she had called Colleenie's weenies of her talking to minors about very inappropriate things. Yeah. And asking very inappropriate questions. Yeah. And there's many screenshots of these conversations. And she really, in this ukulele video,

makes it seem of like, oh yeah, it was just like, oh, like, go against me for being close to my fans. But like, when you're asking a child what their favorite sexual position is, I think that that's a really big issue. What? I know, baby.

I'm crazy. I'm like, you know what I mean? I'm the crazy one. I'm like the cum guy too, right? People come walking down the street like, hey, it's the cum guy. You know what I mean? He's the cum guy.

Don't say that in this instance. But even I, you know, I'm a disgusting degenerate. I would never have a conversation like this. The grown adults that I get DMs from on Instagram or whatever, much less children. It is such an inappropriate barrier to cross that I would never in a million years. It's an obvious mistake not to make. Like, I can't imagine accidentally making this mistake. So now we have to start connecting it to the ukulele video because that is the whole where she's like,

oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you weren't perfect. and all this stuff that's trying to say like, she literally says that in the video. I'm sorry, she sings it in the video. The whole thing is a fucking song just to like make it. Her representation told her not to speak towards it. So she was like, so I'm going to sing it anyway.

It's so obnoxious. She's so, the video, all right, so she does this over 10 minute long, I'm not sorry video that she sings with the ukulele. It is like the most millennial fucking bullshit you'll ever see in your life. like as if we weren't already like completely good on the whole ukulele twy fucking thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then and then the whole time it's like the look she gives the camera and the way she

talks to us, the viewer, is this, you're the, you're the asshole not me. I'm completely fine. I've done nothing fucking wrong here. And you should feel actually bad. You're the one that should feel bad. It's the most narcissistic fucking completely ridiculous. sidestep of taking any responsibility for anything. Guess what I hate.

When people cannot take fucking any, it can never be wrong. It makes me nuts when somebody cannot be wrong. Holden the only thing she's ever groomed or her two Persian cats. Which is such a weird thing to say. Weird. Get her out of here. Get her out of my face.

I am so done with this person. We were talking about this on our Jersey Shore Discord on Thursday nights because I think that was maybe the day that the video came out or the day after. Yes. And that we were talking about various YouTubers and their downfalls. And we were talking about Shane Dawson. And I was like, I remember that Shane Dawson's thing was like all these like really racist jokes and like ablest jokes. But I was like, what was his downfall again?

And the chat was like, it had to do with being accused of doing sexual things with his cat. And then he had to, he issued a hilarious apology like, I didn't do sexual things with my cat. I didn't mean to or whatever. And like, so I don't even remember the details. I don't remember the details about Shane Dawson and his cat. But I think it's hilarious that now another YouTuber is having her downfall and invoked doing sexual things with cats in her not apology. It's like, you guys, stop doing that. It is not hard to not be a creep.

Again, I could understand. And I actually, when I first watched the video, I was curious because she says, yeah, I used to DM my fans, but not in like a creepy way, more in like a loser way. And so I'm thinking, okay, what is this like YouTube fandom? I know a lot of the whole premise of YouTube fandom that I think people like is that there's more interaction with fans, right? I think Twitch is something similar where the kind of structure of Twitch is that you're supposed to interact with the people who are watching you. It's not this one-sided thing, like a podcast. Obviously, we also interact with our fans, but it's not a two-way communication the way YouTube seems to be. And so I, but then upon figuring out what she actually did, again, it's just so easy not to actually.

ask children what their favorite sex position is. So easy. Very easy. And then when you are called on it to be like, oh, I guess you are, you just love toxic gossip. And it's like, I didn't even care. I don't think this would have all gone away if she had just said sorry, but she certainly made it. She launched herself from being a YouTube controversy to being like a number one trending topic

on Twitter. Everybody is, I had to learn. I wouldn't have even known who this bitch was until she sang this 10 minute song. and it's the biggest self-owned in history. And to not app- It's just so clear that she was creepy. I can't believe it. To just be like, you know what?

I crossed the line. And she can't even do that. I cannot believe it. And, you know, the whole thing with her, too, that makes me so angry is that she's so clearly a narcissist that will never, ever see any of this and finally be like,

maybe I am like a horrible person. because she's so just delusional and crazy and that's the worst thing about these people is like you can't even like break through even this she'll find a way to make it our fault. She already has in the whole video that made it our fault.

Could you, I always do this mental experiment too when something like this happens. Could you imagine being in a relationship with this person? Yeah. Could you fathom what that would be like? Well, her ex-husband spoke out. Her ex-husband was like, yeah,

I dealt with this for seven years. Yeah. This kind of delusion I dealt with this. this for seven years. Totally. And she cheated on him, right? I believe. I'm not sure.

I don't know the end of their relationship. And what's fun is, I feel like another good reaction, at least, to something like this happening, this kind of obnoxious behavior, a person immediately after this video, for every action, there's got to be a reaction,

spoke out about her abhorrent behavior on her Netflix show. And how awful she was and racist. That article is fascinating. We were just getting child group. Now we get the racism. Get all this Asian shit out of here.

You know, whatever, when it came to, like, changing over the store to a bodega was one of her fun comments. And, like, she's just a nightmare human. And apparently she would just, like, barade everybody in front of every, or, like, she would make fun. She would Smokey Joe everybody in front of everybody else. And we were

like, we just kind of had to put up with it because it was for her show. So... Speaking of Smokey Joe, we are going to be talking about nicknames here pretty soon. We're going to be doing a little side sorry what's the word my brain

I was about to see spin off spin off side quest what is that it's a quest we're gonna have the side quest because we got so many emails about nicknames

there was so many that we could not read them all on a show because we decided it actually needs its own show we're doing a bad nickname side quest it'll be coming at you

somewhere somehow you may have to like... Over on the Patreon. You may have to like bring like an egg to a merchant just to unlock it, but we'll figure that out. Well, it is a side quest. So we'll see. That's going to be our extra Patreon content for the week. And because we got so many amazing donations of words. Jackie's doing great.

Jackie's thriving. I do, when I email someone, I do call it a donation of ideas. Is that what it is? Don't record on Monday morning. It's a Monday morning. We're recording a little different. I love this so because I was you last Tuesday. Remember I was like...

But I'm not hung over. It's not because I got drunk with my family last night. It doesn't matter how the mental instability comes. It just is. Oh my gosh. And now I'm the Colleen. Sorry, Jackie. I got little junk.

Just last night you heard. But I know I'm going to do the show. and I won't talk about my turns, talking about my turn. Oh my God, we should let Holden do a 10-minute song. Because Holden is so good at spontaneously making up song lyrics that we could totally give him a prompt and he could do it. I don't know. It's an idea for your next jack-in, you guys. Also, I will acknowledge.

I will acknowledge this because I think I completely believe it's true. Somebody tweeted like this, there's a moment at like the eight-minute, eight-and-a-half-minute mark where Colleen finishes clearly finishes her song. then kind of goes to look at something and then, like, thinks for a second and then keeps playing the song and continues on. Yes. And I'm almost, they were like, you could not fucking convince me otherwise

the person who tweeted saying, like, she definitely checked the timestamp, realized she needed to go another minute and a half so that she could get the monetization mark on the video. And that's why she does that. And so just everything about it so obnoxious. Because also, it's gotten millions of views.

Like, she made a really, good money on that that fucking video too. Whoa! That level of, I mean, you gotta almost admire that level of hustle to be like, I am a YouTube animal, I am a creature of YouTube. I know that if I make a 10 minute video that everyone will hate, I will make lots of money off of it. You almost gotta hand it to her.

We're not gonna hand it to her. No, I hate her so much. We could. But I will say. Yeah, go on. We got to, I'll stop. I will say, if we were talking about 10 minutes of. Fame, we are going to bring up Tom Hanks's niece on this episode.

Oh, my, all right. Let's get on me, Jagu, this is your time. All right. This is, we get, get to the good part. Remember that clip from... I have not seen it. Give me the low... Give me the rundown.

I'm an alien. I just got to Earth and all I want to know about is this one television show. Is this television show called Claim to Fame? So there's a... Tom Hanks's niece was all over the celebrity gossip rags this week because there is this horrific show called Claim to Fame that I'm I watched the first episode of, and I'm mad at myself when I watched the first episode of it, because I definitely could have just watched Tom Hanks' niece's breakdown.

Which is what I did. Because she, which, you know, you get the, you get it. You don't waste an hour of your time. I don't need the context of the whole rest of the episode. This is coming from someone that watches the idol, that watched all of Milf Manor, even after it fell off and wasn't even just for shock jock value anymore. I'm in that club. I'm in that club.

Yeah. And this episode of reality television, I think was so yucky to me that I needed to take a shower. Because this whole show is about people that are related to celebrities somehow. And they're all living in a house. And they have to try and figure out through challenges what celebrity is. each person is related to. And what really yucks me out is all I kept thinking I was like, do their family, like,

do their relatives know that they're doing this? And like especially Tom Hanks's reaction when he found out that his niece not only was on this, but like had a complete mental breakdown on the episode, was like, did you at least get paid for it? Yeah. That was his question to her. He's just disgruntled question because she is the first person that is kicked off because there is a wall of clues that are just random things that are staple gunned to a wall that they can all look at because it starts off with two truths and a lie.

So everyone says two truths and a lie, but you don't find out which one is the lie. So you go up and you say things like, my relative is my father. My relative is an Oscar winner. My relative. So you have to say things like that. And then they have to look at this wall just filled with random shit. But on this wall of random shit, there happened to be a green bench.

Yes, the bench from Forest Gump. and this bitch went mad about this bench. You got to watch the clip. If you haven't seen it, pause, Google it, watch the clip, and then come back to the episode, honestly. Tom Hanks's niece has meltdown. Just look up Tom Hanks's niece and it will immediately pop up about her screaming, What other movie has a bitch?

I said, my favorite part of this, by the way. Yeah, I told him that. I said, guess what your clue was? And he goes, she was talking to Tom Hanks. and he goes, what? He goes what? I said, a bench. He was like, ah, she shared.

At first, he didn't understand the game. And then I was like, it's clues from your movies. And he goes, oh, okay. Oh, I get it. So he didn't even realize the bench was this obvious clue. And I feel the same way. A green bench, I guess I would have figured out Forrest Gump. But like, that's not like, I love that she,

if it was like a box of chocolates, or like Bubba Gump shrimp company or something like that it'd be like all right bro but a green bench is really that and then I love her quote What other what movie Has a bitch

That's the only movie that has a bitch I can't believe that There's lots of movies She's so upset And I'm talking this is I've watched a decent amount of reality TV And I want to say this is one of the biggest breakdowns I've ever seen anyone have on camera

She is screaming She's running up the stairs she's flailing around with her body. All the other contestants are like frozen in that like, oh, drama way. And she's just screaming. I can't believe they did this to me. And it is, I mean, I just want to know what is going on with, I'm not going to blame Tom Hanks for the weird things going on with his family,

but can't you imagine the phone call. It's like, Mr. Hanks, there's been a phone call about something embarrassing that a relative of yours did. And he's like, Chet? What have you done? It's like, no, it's not Chet. It's not Chet this time. Chet must be having a great week.

Oh, my God. So nice that it's finally off of him for a second. This from the article. She admitted that she, quote, overreacted a little bit, in quote, after getting eliminated, adding, quote, but I'm an emotional, very traumatic person, which is like not, okay, we got to start, guys, Colleen, everybody, you got to actually then say,

now let's fix it. Let's put the work in. Let's get the therapy. let's get going on this. That is not just your way of being. You're not just a delusional narcissist. You're not just an emotional, very traumatic person. You actually know you need help for this behavior. That was completely insane, completely uncalled for. Because it wasn't even like drama on the show or she's being like called out for some really personal stuff on the show. She literally just got eliminated on the first episode. It's not. It's through a toddler level temper tantrum about it.

And again, I appreciate that we all are still building our emotional regulation skills. But to have that level of a toddler tantrum on camera. Yeah, wow. It's just, it is shot. It's really, it's really worth watching because it's like how, and again, so funny that it's Tom Hanks. I know. The world's famously nicest guy. The guy who, when he was cast as Mr. Rogers, everyone was like, that's the only guy who's close enough to Mr. Rogers to play it.

And this bitch is psychotic. Yeah, dude. So how many episodes are out and what's the other, you know, what else is going on in this show? Because you said, I mean, it really is. There was only one episode out. That's it. It was just this episode. Or anything else that was sad and upsetting or, you know, I mean, is it just because they're all just like, again, I feel like talk about maybe some kind of level of entitlement or I don't know what's going on here.

This is so pathetic. No, it's the opposite of it. It's just boring. Right. These are just nobody's. They're just people just being like, yeah, but you wish you knew who I'm related to. I don't think I give a shit, you know? I don't care who you're related.

What does that change anything about how I feel about you? Even if they were like share, I'd be like, cool. All right. Your share's like cousin? Do you ever see her? No, not really. I went to a, we did a family reunion 10 years ago and she was kind of got to say a couple. You know what you mean?

like it's just what is even And it's also not just like celebrities like that it's also like a bunch of like you could be related to someone on a sports team like I don't know any people on sports teams like I don't know wow

that's awesome whoa so cool you know what do you say about that? Happened to be related to the this is just fucking what's going on with people these days is this what we got because of the stupid strike now we got this to you know not the stupid stupid.

but it's a great strike. No, it's a very purposeful strike. It's a mighty, I'm calling it stupid because the people making them strike. They're the idiots, you know what I mean? I'm sorry to the strikers for my words. I can't believe I said your strike was stupid. Oh, I'll shoot the arrow right through some cupids.

Make you fall in love with me again. That's the difference is you're apologizing in this video. You're actually like admitting some guilt. Oops. Did you get mad about what I? I said about the strike, well, go fuck yourself and ride a bike to hell. There you go. That's more of what we're looking for here.

There you go. I forgot. Actually, you're the problem that I called you stupid is actually you're the one you should be upset with yourself. And you can send in your donation of words into page seven podcast at gmail.com. If you wish, if you need to scream about Holden's not apology song, which is what we're getting today. Whatever. I didn't talk about Taylor Swift this episode, whatever. I guess this is turning into a Swifty podcast.

You know what? A podcast reviewer, you can go eat a raw egg. How about that? T Swift is Lord. Are you just upset because I didn't include the like concert stage error of her show when the thing didn't go through the stage and she had to run off stage? No, I was more upset that you didn't include the part where she talked about how she doesn't want people to go after John Mayer when Dear John gets re-released on Speak Now Taylor's version.

I know. She was like, let's be nice. I didn't bring it up. be nice online. And I did, well, she was like, I'm not upset about the breakups that I went through when I was 19. I'm a grown adult woman now. Don't be mean to John Mayer, please. And then there was a blind item that I didn't include.

Whoa. That it was about how John Mayor is seeking legal help in getting ready for speak now coming out. Whoa. I didn't include that because of the one person who wrote in the podcast reviews that, uh, get a good podcast. Well, you know what? I like Beyonce. I like pink.

I mean, they're both amazing performers, Holden, and I will give that to you. But I'll also give you a little bit of a grimace shake. And I'm going to squirt it all over you. I'm glad this story exists in tandem to the Colleen thing, because, yes, YouTube and TikTok, it can be such a fucking awful place. But this is where it shines.

The grimace shake is where these formats really, truly shine, and I really love it. How do you describe, I don't even know how to put this in a words. I'm a scared-ass Jackie to do it because I think if she's got a mental What?

I'm doing fine today. I'm fine today. You called it a side quest. Talking about bonus content, which is a video game term. You called the emails a donation of words. Twice. That's crazy.

A donation. There's no reason for it. There's no idea. Email so simple. I like to sleep at a normal time last night. Like, there's nothing. I don't know what's wrong with me. So many syllables, bro, to describe the thing that is two syllables.

Email. Sorry. I need to juxtapose how intense some of the conversations we're having are, okay? How do you describe the grimace shake phenomenon on TikTok, Jackie? Well, essentially, it is you drinking a grimace shake, which I don't know if you guys remember, but for every year on Grimmis's birthday, and this year it's Grimmis' 52nd birthday, by the way. They put out a limited release, Grimmis shake,

which is a berry-flavored ice cream shake, that is, of course, inspired by Grimis, and I will throw it out there that Jeff was curious, so he went out and tried it and said he had a sip of it and literally could not continue, just because it was very sweet and really hurt his tea fees, I imagine. but then you drink the shake in the TikTok trend

and then all of a sudden you die a horrific death covered in the shape. It's really funny. Originally, it was a simple jump cut. But as internet things go, it gets more, more complicated at each iteration. But originally it was just like person, oh, it's grimace his birthday, trying the grimace shape.

They take a sip and then it jump cuts to them usually laying on the ground either face down or face up with the shake all over their mouths. and the shake like slam. You can tell they kind of slam the shake down on the ground kind of next to themselves as well. And like, and it's usually cuts to nighttime. It usually goes from like day to night.

You know, and it's like they've suffered this horrific death. But then I immediately were watching ones that just like, it literally becomes a full on horror movie with like people like climbing on the ceilings and like crazy. Car crashes. And like an actual grimace like with demon eyes like fucking. in the shot. Like, it's crazy what people are doing with it.

But it's such a fun, easy setup for, like, this is so perfect for, like, kids in the summer, like a little day project. Totally. To just go out and shoot, you know, get the shake and shoot your own. And I love that. And I love that about the internet. Like, people come together on some dumb shit, like Miranda sings, but people also come together on some really fun shit, I think, like the grimace shake.

And I really, really enjoy that. Totally. It's like, you know, we talk all the time about how weird it is. watch where the internet is right now and TikTok, a lot of, depending on where the eye lingers, TikTok might be very good or very bad, but the,

depending on where the eye lingers, you create your TikTok. Where does your eye linger? So if you've got, if you're like, I hate TikTok, I hate what it shows me, look to your eyes. Look to yourself, Colleen,

and, you know, everybody else. You know what I mean? But like, I love the part of TikTok that is teens especially, but just people in general being invited to take a creative prompt and run with it. It's great. It's like a creative writing prompt, but in pure distilled sketch comedy form, it's like, okay, how's the grimace shake going to kill me? And I think, you know, I used to help kids, like, write comedy scenes. And I love that now it's just something, it's something that they love. And I just love that this is a way that kids pass the time with

each other. There's the other scarier parts of TikTok that are like the challenges of do things that could hurt you or whatever, and that must be really difficult to navigate, and I fear navigating it as a parent. But there's a lot of it that's just really creative and really funny. Oh my God. Are you been saying that that just like hurt my chest? What are you going to do? What are you going to do when the kids are on these apps? I know, it's terrified. Well, but this is the fun stuff. Yeah. I loved, you know, getting my buddies like handheld camera and making like a weird short movie in like a day or two or whatever and like putting it together and that's a fun project but you're right it's terrifying i i i already think about you know the part that freaks me out is there's

just so much stuff on the internet that like you can't unsee right you know what i mean and we all have our ones like you know but mine are a lot more innocent like tub girl or whatever you know i never saw like the hatchet men or whatever that thing was you know two men one knife or whatever that was but there's a lot of like There's a lot of like infamous. Are you talking about duels? Are people watching duels online? There's a lot of infamous videos out there, right?

Like people have chosen to see. I've seen, you know, two girls one cup, for instance, right? Which is kind of, you know, and you know what? I'm seeing it right fucking now. Man, the second you say it immediately comes up in my brain. I saw it one time. The eye it lingers and the brain it remembers. Yeah, I think I actually, I remember months ago when we on the show talked about how there is this kind of trend amongst some young people to be anti-sex scene in movies.

And we got a lot of great emails about it. And one of them I remember was from somebody who I think they were in the early 20s and they were like, you know, when I was coming of age, I had an iPod touch that connected to the internet. And I was 10 and I had Instagram and I had no. real oversight. I think the idea was, oh, an iPod touch isn't a phone. It has some limits or whatever. But, like, they had access to the internet. They had access to social media and messaging and stuff. And they were saying that they just, you know, immediately started getting dick pics and, like, you know, stuff that was really scary and traumatizing for them. So their thought about why some zoomers are way more conservative about seeing sex stuff in media is that it's a generation

that has been, like, traumatized by their access to the other. Interesting. That's really fascinating. Isn't that so interesting? That helps it make a lot more sense to me because I was definitely like, you know what tits in your fucking movies? What the fuck I'm wrong with this?

I mean, you know, I'm the princess of horny. Like, if there's a lot of fucking in it, i.e. the idol, I'm going to just watch it. I don't need to see another tit again for the rest of my fucking life with the idol. I'm good on it, man. It really is. I'm with them on that.

I'm so sick of it now. I'm just, I'm over it. I've ever seen. I've never seen such tiny clothes. Yeah, it's just more absurd every scene. And I am not approved by any way. Your tits are always fucking banging against the wall. I love my tits falling. Yeah, it's unbelievable what those things do,

but it doesn't even matter, dude, this fucking woman, man, or whatever, these products, the costume lit, does the costume lady get fucking paid like the least about a fabric she uses? She gets like a bonus. I mean, the costumes are unbelievable. don't know how they stay on her body. Like, I don't know how it covers anything.

She's like taped into it. Yeah, it's crazy. Or if it doesn't stand her body, her tits are out every five, I've memorized. I mean, that is true. I know those tits better than, you know, most of the people I've been with.

You know what I mean? I've memorized every inch of them. But speaking of, the zoomers not being into sex scenes as much, but what about the millennials not drinking as much? How do we feel about non-drinker Blake lively,

sparking this backlash, launching an alcohol. I'm not like mad about this like the other stuff today. I know. We're just, I'm laughing about this because what a fuck, what, what a moron to go,

I don't drink. Here's my line. Like, why would you even say, she says it like in the message about it. She's like, she is famously known for not drinking. Right.

So she already had like, so Blake lively is introducing Betty Buzz. Betty Buzz, which is the alcoholic brand of, of her already existing mock tail line, which is called Betty Booze. So Betty Booze is the mock tail, Betty Buzz.

First of all, this is so confusing. No, I was gonna say, I think it's switched. I'm sorry, yeah, this is so confusing. Betty Buzz. This is why it's annoying. It's not annoying that she's- It's gonna make people fall off the wagon, dude. That is for real.

No, no, no. This is not your fault, Jackie. This is a Blake lively problem. Not a new problem. Do not let Jeff near these things because there is no way, everyone's falling off the wagon. with this messaging.

This is the only, people are annoyed at her by being like, why would you start an alcohol brand if you don't drink? Whatever, I don't care about that. She can make money however she wants. It is funny to have the whole point of your company is mocktails because you famously don't drink. And then you make a subsidiary cocktail that is alcoholic that sounds the exact same as the mocktail that is advertised to people that don't drink.

That's the funny part. It's just strange. Why not call it something that is a. Totally different word. Very different. Yes. Very different. Blake Lively's drinks for people who want to get drunk, you know, and then Blake Lively's.

It's a mouthful, but go with her on this one. It's just so, that's what's funny to be. Blake Lively, get your side hustle on, girl, I'm proud of you. But to make them have the same exact name except one is for people who don't. And people sometimes might be like, I want a macktail tonight and a cocktail tomorrow. Right. But also, for people who don't drink, it's really nice to know these are the, like, predictable canned mottails I can get, you know? And so to just add, except sometimes they're alcoholic is just kind of a funny twist.

Does she like super duper not drink, like to the point where she hasn't even tried these drinks? No, I think her whole thing is she doesn't, like, she doesn't drink to excess. Right. I think that, like, I think it seems like she doesn't, she's not a fan of drinking is what, it seems she put out there. She's not like in recovery. Yeah, she's not like in recovery. Because that's the thing.

It'd be ridiculous if it was like indicative of like she hasn't even tried what they taste like because she doesn't drink that much. But I guess it's, it's just funny to be like, I don't really drink. But here's my line of drinking drinks. And it's just like, why? It's also just more loaded. Yeah. Like it's not like here's, I don't like chocolate, but I'm making a chocolate line.

Okay, fine. But like, drinking and not drinking, it's important to know if you're drinking an alcoholic drink or a not alcoholic drink or not alcoholic. Yeah, it's just unbelievably dumb marketing. But anyways, wow, the time just flew. Anything else before we want to talk about the fun celebrity conspiracy this week? No, I was just making sure that Blake lively, like, what the reasoning behind her not drinking and that she just, she likes being social and she likes hanging out, but she, and she even has openly

said how alienating it feels being a person that chooses not to drink. but oh my god I feel so bad for her she's an amazing mixologist and don't you forget it that's what she says oh my god I feel so bad I feel so bad for Blake lively at parties I feel so bad for her I have heard that from people who don't drink but like aren't in recovery and then people will be like why why why have you tried everyone always like there's so much of like why not and that's such a crazy personal thing to ask anyone yeah don't ever like it's nanya how about nanya wow a sunny Anderson reference from the kitchen. I appreciate that. Thank you. I appreciate your deep cut food network references from five years ago. That's just for you, MJ. That's just for you.

Love you, Sunny Anderson. All right. Hit me with a share. Do you believe it? Was Brit, Brit replaced? That's right. I'm doing it. Now, I know we've, we've not done Britney's. I do not bring Britney's up often. because I really do feel for her whole situation. But we got so many emails about this one. And it's such a conspiracy because it involves like a video clip. And it has less to do with, you know, some of the sadder stuff. Yes. It really does seem like she is replaced by someone who's put...

Her children being taken away from her and her. Yeah. There's a lot. Yes, all that sad stuff. It's not that stuff. But this is more just like, is someone actually manipulating her video stuff pertain to be here with using AI, which I think is actually possible. and it's crazy. And we got so many emails about it. So this first one, this one comes in from Ashley,

who writes, hello, howdy, hello, Holden. I must admit I'm a bit late on this theory, but is Britney Spears missing? There's a theory that someone, Jamie Lynn, maybe in parentheses, is using AI slash filters to give the impression that Brittany is still with us. But I fear she can be trapped in a basement somewhere since her family no longer has legal control of her. I truly wish the best for Brittany. And I seriously hope that this is not real, but this is pretty convincing. is the AI slash filter in reverse, and they just want us to think she's missing. Here is the link to kind of the video people are talking about that's making them believe this. I'm bad at conspiracy theories because I just want everyone to be okay and happy, but I thought this was intriguing. Love you,

Holden, but don't tell Jackie I said that. Ashley, a smile and face. That's funny. Uh-oh. I love it. Yes. So shoutouts to Amelia, who wrote in about this as well as Lauren, Emily, who also sent a picture of a croxsaint, which is a crox, shaped into a crock with chunks of butter as giblets. It's unbelievable. It's been sent to me probably a thousand times, and I'm fine with it. I'll laugh every time, and you can keep sending me the croc. It's fine.

And it also came in from Moira, who wrote, I can't remember if you covered this yet or not, but I came across this TikTok last night and thought I would send it your way. In this video, you see some examples about weirdly teeth behavior. deep fake videos. They compare these examples of Britney Spears' Instagram videos in which her tongue appears to glitch through her bottom teeth or her bottom teeth disappear entirely when looking frame by frame. They also point out she no longer smiles with her bottom teeth because AI hasn't fully figured out teeth yet. Also wanted to share my terrible nickname from high school. My last name is Hershey and my big brother's friends would call me Hershey Squirt. You guys are the best.

Hope you have a great tour. Love Hershey Squirt. Oh, no, not her, she squirt. So there's this video that is really convincing, or at least really odd, this editing of this video. You want to try to describe to me what happens here? Well, her hands go over her face. Brittany's. Yes, Britney Spears' face.

And it seems like when her hands go in front of her face, like her face kind of changes right underneath it. Yes. weirdly abruptly changes her whole eye structure, face structure.

You know what I mean? So that's the part I'm focusing on. What do you guys think? It kind of has weight a little bit. It's kind of creepy. Yeah, it is definitely

really creepy. This is like a legit one. Yeah. I mean, the deep fake stuff also I'm freaked out. I think it's a good conspiracy theory

because it's so scary. Yeah. Like I just, I find the AI stuff. The implications of it is horrifying, right? To be so. Especially the way they're using it in this situation, if so.

Right, right. It's a little odd. Yeah. Also, it's, I know that, all right, just throwing this out here. Like, a couple of months ago, Britney Spears and her mother apparently reconciled. Okay. After many years of being on the outs with each other. And when that first happened, I was just like, I wonder why that's happening.

I wonder what's happening with that over there. And I've just been like kind of watching it. like put it on my, talk about a side quest, I put it on my backburn. Right, put it on my back burner. So like in my back burner, I've been watching this relationship. And what if it has something to do with that?

Interesting. Uh-huh. It's odd. You have to admit it's that video cut, and I've seen it several times before I've seen it on TikTok before, yes. It's alarming. Yes. Like her entire face looks like it changes from someone else's,

at least it's eyes up because of the way she puts her hands, but it just abruptly clicks in like you've seen with, some AI kind of stuff. You know what I mean? And it's the perfect conspiracy theory because the groundwork is already laid. Like, we already know that there are so many people trying to sabotage this person.

Also, we know that this person is really, we don't know exactly the extent to which she's struggling now, but we know she's struggled a lot in the past. Yeah, and I don't mean, I'm not trying to mock or downplay that, by the way. Totally. It is just, this is kind of undeniably fucking weird for conspiracy. So I had to bring it up. Totally.

And we literally know that her family has kind of like, conspired against her in the past. She has been a victim of people working together to suppress her. And so I'm not saying this is true, but it's a perfect setup for a conspiracy. And her Instagram account is dubious at best. That's the other part of it. Like reposting kind of like the same pictures and weird dance videos. There's just something odd.

Like everyone feels odd about the Instagram account. Right. So whether this is true or not, to use that as a baseline and then to introduce the very real, very scary implications of deep fake videos and how those totally will be used and already have been used to fuck with people in the past. Again, I don't know if it's real, but it

certainly has all the ingredients of a perfect conspiracy. So I don't know if I fully believe, but I got it on the back burner, my friend. I'm with you Jackie. I'm putting it on my back burner. We're just watching. I'm putting it right on the back burner. Put it right on the back burner. That's what I'm going to say.

Oh, yeah. That sounds like my dipy, but I'm not talking about a dipy overflowing, just talking about my back burner. Because you know, sometimes you're not paying attention and all of a sudden, oh, what's happening back there? And then all of a sudden your ass is on fire and just a whole big thing. This ass is on fire. Ooh, my ass is on fire. Yeah, and then they changed it to girl because they were like, you can't just use the word

ass. It's a big song. What are you doing? This is going to be like your huge hit. So anyways, all right. Kind of believe. It's time for the list. Let's do it. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list.

Famous people who requested very unusual, weird or surprising burials. Tupac Shakur, his ashes were smoked by members of his old group. Oh, my God. Outlaws. Yeah, for a long time, it was just a rumor that members of Outlaws smoked Tupac's ashes after his funeral. However, in 2011, the story was confirmed. According to the Huffington Post, members of Outlaws confirmed, saying, yes, it's definitely true, had a little memorial for him with his mom and his family.

We had hit the beach, threw in a lot of shit he liked at the beach, some weed, some chicken wings. He loved orange soda. Pack loved that kind of shit. So we were given him our own funeral. If you listen to Black Jesus, he said, last wishes, smoke my ashes. I didn't say the word. That was a request that he had. I'm sorry, what does Henry say, fellas?

Last wishes, fellas, smoke my ashes. Now, how serious was he about it? We took it seriously. So they did it, man. I think I might like it. I think it's kind of beautiful. I was going to ask if he asked for them to do it, then he did. So I feel a totally different way about it than initially.

I was like, oh, whatever. But if that was his request, then I think it's awesome. They obliged. I mean, it's Willie Nelson's request, too. I think that's a great idea. As someone that wants to be buried in like a mushroom bag, I also am kind of down with getting smoke. I'm butt chugging for me.

I want you to have to butt chug my ashes. So we have to like liquefy the ashes first. You're going to like liquefy the ashes in like a natty light or something like that. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then pour it up your asshole and get rid of. Who's going to butt chug it? Your mother? Sounds like it's us too.

Oh. Okay. Ed, M.J. Henry, you're all butt chugging it. And oh yeah, this is recorded right now too. So you have to, it's definitely posthum. Yeah, definitely have to do it. All right.

So there you go. You see, now we're going to do this. And it's going to be real upsetting. I got to start making insane claims for what people have to do. All right, you also have to touch your nose that touch your toes. Then you have to do the... Well, I think I'm touching my toes the entire time I'm butt-chugging. All right, you don't have to punch hug, right, whatever.

But you have to do a spin and then go, eke, leaky, deeke, and then you've got to hump the air, and then you've got to clap five times. In front of your casket? Monkey man is a monkey man. Monkey. is a monkey man. Is this while we're drinking your ashes? Oh, yeah, just like at the funeral.

Just like at the funeral. Now we have to save the number of this episode in like an emergency drafts like in case of Holden's death so we can refer back to it. We're going to do it. We're going to be weeping and laughing the whole time.

He's a monkey man. He's a monkey bat. Oh my goodness. All right, what else we got on this here? Hunter S. Thompson had his ashes blasted out of a cannon. Yes, he did. He absolutely did. And people were able to... We actually had a friend

of ours that went and watched it happen because you could watch it from far off watch his... And they did it, man. They shot his ashes out of a cannon and that is bad ass. Yeah, that was actually one of the funny moments in the whole, like, Johnny Depp Rolling Stone articles. Like, one of the things that put him into, like,

financial straits was partly because he was the one who spent the $3 million to arrange the request to get the cannon built and everything. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, well, the adventure of Pringles, Fred Bauer, wanted to be buried in a Pringles can. And he was.

That's awesome, dude. Fuck yeah. Love that. Right on, dude. Absolutely. Hell yeah. Well, Carrie Fisher got buried in a Prozac-shaped urn. Nice.

Man, she's great. She's awesome, too. Her one-woman show. Have you seen her one-woman show? No. No, but I've heard amazing things. I remember mentioning it on my old podcast radio dispatch after she died and got a bunch of people that were like

her memoir and her one woman show are like... Hell yeah. Absolutely stellar. I should read her memoir, but watch that one woman show. It's really, really good. Yeah, it's really fun. And it gives you a full... She gives you the whole rundown of her crazy fucking life, man.

Well, what about... I don't know if you want to say, damn. At the fact that Bruce Lee used footage of his actual funeral, including images of... his corpse and his casket, and they were used in his last film. Cool. Yeah, that's one of those things where I'm like, I guess you're a filmmaker and you want this to happen.

You can, like, have your wishes realized. But also, I don't know if we should be showing actual corpses. I don't know. That makes me feel conflicted in a weird way because I kind of want to be like it's your body, but also it feels a little bit weird. And in fact, they use it. So this movie, Game of Death, also incorporated footage from Lee's actual funeral, which is used in a scene.

where the main character faked his death. Lee's face in the casket could be seen in one of the shots. That's eerie. That's fun. Yeah, that's a weird one. Yeah, it kind of makes it fun. But you can actually see clips of it online. Now, Luke Perry did bring up my aforementioned eco-friendly mushroom burial suit because that's

what Luke Perry was buried in, which it is this bag that your body becomes mushrooms. That's awesome. It feeds the mushrooms. or just regular mushrooms, but of course, if I'm able to have a preference. Luke Perry. I don't think we need a trip on Luke Perry. Would you guys do it?

See, that would be fun. But have it like a Luke Perry pasta. Like a creamie mushroom pasta. Luke Perry is. Yes. Oh my God. Make me into an au jus. Please.

Make me into gravy. Oh my God. Turn me into a gravy. Yeah, you got to be a gravy. Gravy, gravy. Where's the gravy? It's Jackie. Yeah.

And that's what the name of my funeral is going to be. And it's going to be a big Thanksgiving dinner and you have to put gravy all over everything and you must consume me. And instead of that's my name, it's like, that's my corpse. That's my corpse. I love it. Last but not least, Aretha Franklin at her funeral, she had three outfit changes for her viewings and her funeral. And I, I love her niece said, we know that she would have wanted nothing but the best. She gave the best, she expected the best, and she would want her fans to have the best.

And the fact that she had multiple outfit changes, I would only hope as someone, I'm the kind of person I change multiple times a day. It's very aggravating. I like having multiple costume changes throughout my day. It makes me feel more fun. And I think that that's what I also want. I want my mushroom bag, have an outfit changes before you turn me into gravy. Wow. So, yeah.

This is in perpetuity as well, so everyone remember this. It'd be like a weird porch goose, but like just a bag that you're putting costumes. Yes. Oh. Come on. I hate this. Gotta put some sequins. Put some sequins on the corpse bag before we simmer it.

I mean, one must have a bit of bedazzle. I hate it so much that I think I'm going. We can't see them. Don't do drugs. That way, you show up to your concert. on time and don't get kicked off stage by security. Whoa. Do you know who this is?

She got kicked off stage at Glastonbury because she showed up fucking 30 minutes late to her set. Yes. Three word name. Lana Del Rey. I remember me eating article. Lana Del Rey? Yes, Lana Del Rey. Yeah, yeah, Jagging.

Yeah, MJ got it immediately. Jackie was too busy screaming to hear me saying. an agony. I just, I remembered reading the article about it. Yeah, so this is that news story. I was like, I got a little embedded news story for, and this is like my final hit of like the whatever the fucking crazy, just insane list of shitheads celebrities being shitheads

this week. This is like another, I cannot stand. Because first of all, too, Lando Ray had her microphone completely cut off during her Glass and Berry set as she hit curfew after taking to the stage 30 minutes late. She kicked off her set with a bang, but was quick to address why she had been late. Bizarly saying it was because her hair took a lot. She was like, I'm sorry, my hair takes way too long to do. So that's why I'm late for this show that all these people came to.

And it's a festival. So the way the festivals work is very different. I mean, it's a very tight turnaround. So I really got to show up. But one of my biggest fucking pet peeves are people who show up to their own shows way too late to perform. It makes me crazy. You get such a cool thing you get to do. You get to perform in front of thousands of people and make a lot of money doing it.

It's one thing if it was a one-off, like it was a huge mistake. There was a huge like traveling issue. Totally. Something like that when something that's out of your, you know, ability to control. Sure. Even things happen to celebrity sometimes. But you're right. Yeah.

It's so disrespectful. And then to blame your hair, fuck you. Your hair? Yeah, you know your hair. You know how much time. you need to get it to have someone else do it. It's not like you're trying to get ready for a middle school dance and it's not working

out to do your hair, you know. Or also say fuck the hair, I got to get on stage right now. I'm five minutes late. You don't fucking just make everybody sit. It's so crazy. And then she like made it all about her. She like then tried to she like got up against the audience and started trying to like get them

to sing with her sing the song video games, her famous song. And then forcing security to escort her off of the premises. So you've got to make these poor fucking guys who are just trying to make a living. You got to force them to be like the bad guy or whatever and like escort you off and make it this big dramatic event for you is so obnoxious to me. I just, nothing makes me more upset than musicians who show up. I mean, I will say 30 minutes is not that bad. I'm more

talking about people who show up like hours late to their own show. You know what I mean? Like that's when it's really, but if you know, you only have like an hour, which is like what these festivals are like. I mean, they have a very tight, you know, situation with, with, you know, performance times and schedules. So, like, you can't fuck around. Will you just do your hair in a different way? That's what I'm saying. Just be like, fuck the, yeah, just whatever. I mean, I don't know. I don't have to, I don't have to get my hair dead. You know what I mean? So I have the luxury of being like, just fucking go. Who cares? Who cares about your stupid hair? But, uh, yeah, but who cares about her stupid hair? But, uh, yeah, but who cares about her stupid

hair. What do you guys say? But anyways, that was my little news story there. But yeah, celebrities, get it together, okay? It's the 4th of July. It's Dog Day, all right? And I'm trying to have an afternoon.

So stop being bad and weird and singing non-apology songs. Bringing up Dog Day afternoon again? And fucking all of this stuff. You know what I mean? Stop being gross on age. I'm sorry, stop being gross on Max. Max.

Yeah, please, Max. Oh, my God. I don't like you. euphoria anymore because of that show. Anyways, kindness blind. Let's bring it up a little bit. Let's have some positive. Kindness blind.

The meme actor recently paid all of the tabs in a restaurant. I'll give you one hint. Chickapai, hi-tai, wait. This is Timothy Shalameh. Yes, Timothy Shalime recently paid all of the tabs. I would just say, according to the hint, the guessing of Jody Foster was much more appropriate. Just saying

Jody Foster was actually in the movie Nell that you referenced. I just want to throw that out there. But in whole little language Ta-Tai in the wind means Timothy Shalame. If you're looped into page 7

lore, then you know that the Timothy Shalame hint is the Nell. It's so surpassed Nell. And I'm like, oh, what's her name? Kathleen that you put your arm around when you watched Nell for the first time? You know, I'm looking for real deep cuts over here.

I'm getting my clue fucking bank ready for this next one, by the way. This is going to be a little tricky. Oh, no. This is still a wacky one for you. As soon as he pulled on the hair of this one named permanent A-list singer and her wig came off, he freaked out because he had a thing about wigs and he ran from the room. All right. Wait, were they fucking?

Or were they like on stage together? No, I don't know. He just pulled on the hair. I think they might have been rendezvousing is what it sounds like, but he's got a weird thing about wigs. So he booked it. How crazy is that? All right, let's start with the singer.

She's a one named. One named, no one named Aela Singer, older. Share. Yes. Now for... This person didn't know. Share wears wings? I know, right?

All right. This guy's been in a lot of movies. I'm going to say all up through the 90s. these. He's famous. One movie he's famous for, isn't that good, and he wears a yellow suit. Polly Shore. No, he's in a hat in that movie. Oh, you and McGregor. Is he the man from, is he the man with the yellow hat from Curious George? No, no, no, no. Then what else could it be? Who is a yellow suit with a hat? He's the man in the yellow hat for the curious George. He's in a movie about heaven. Oh. And he's a politician in a movie. Oh, God. And he's in a movie. And he's in a movie.

He's in a movie. The movie about... In a movie about heaven. He's in a movie about a man. Oh, come on. Oh, wow. Am I really about to do that movie about heaven? Now you're in my world.

All right. Okay, the man in the yellow suit. Let's talk about him a little bit. It's very... He's also a bit of a curious. Reese George a little bit. Do not Google movie about heaven because it is not what we are looking for.

That is not going to work at all. He's a man in a yellow suit. He's Jim Carrey? That's what I was thinking. Morgan Freeman? What famous movies about God am I think? Isn't there a movie? No, no, no.

We're both going down different rooms. I'm thinking yellow suits. Ruth's Almighty. Is that what you were thinking? He's in a movie about the desert. and he's in a movie that's the name of a color and he's in a movie

that's the name of the movie is something you would find in a bathroom. Sean Penn? And he's also toilet? Shower, sing. Fuck, man, this has gotten harder and harder. I feel like worse off. Okay, let's focus on one

movie. Yes, let's see, let's get our belly's focused. The man in the yellow suit is fighting crime. Is he Dick Tracy? Yes. Warren Beatty? Yes.

He's got a thing about wigs, my friend. A thing about wigs. This was such, there's so many wings. Heaven can wait. You were referencing heaven can wait? You expecting us to know about heaven can wait? Heaven can wait? Fuck you.

I mean, there are so many other Warren Bady movies. The movie about the desert is Ishtar. And he's also in a movie called Red. Holden. We live in a time of Dune. You can't say movie about a desert. He's in a movie called shampoo. That's something you find in a desert.

Oh my God. Holden. Really, this is the worst. This is worse than Murtmur. You know what you could have said? You could have said that he fucked up the Oscars. Famously gave the Oscar to the wrong person. Oh, I forgot about that.

I didn't, which one was that? Wasn't that him with Moonlight? D-2 Moonlight? Was that him? I think that was him presenting, wasn't it? Oh, well, I didn't even remember that. But anyways, yeah, Warren Beatty's weird about Wigs. Back to you guys.

Yeah, it was Warren Beatty who was presenting, and they gave it to Rung people. I could see. I was Warren Bede. Back to you guys. No, reference Heaven Can Wait instead, Holden. Unbelievable. You guys remember Heaven Can Wait, right? That's a good one.

I remember, no, I don't know that movie. Jackie has seen most movies, and so I would expect better from you, Jackie. but not me. I haven't seen Heaven can wait. No. Yeah. I'm realizing I haven't seen that many Warren Beatty movies.

Yeah. I know. I was like, oh, yeah. That's what I thought going in. I was like, oh, he's in like a million things. I'm sure I'll be fine. And then I was like, what are these movies? You could have referenced Bonnie and Clyde is also.

I was about to try and reference Bonnie and Clyde. And I, uh, that was going to be my next one. But I thought you had it with Reds. She's a movie that's the name of a color. I mean, all I could think of it was the color purple. purple. So like, no, my brain was in a complete, I was just like, all right, who from the color purple? Where's a yellow suit? The color purple. I can't believe we got through that one. That was, man, what about,

that was a strug bug that we just had over here. That's a struck bug. I know. We got through it. Well, he's not really been in the limelight a lot, huh? And it is really unfortunate to Dick Tracy because I don't even think that's not even a good movie at the of the day is the problem. So he was maybe Stup and Cher, and then he accidentally pulled her obvious wig off. No way. And then got scared. And he ran out of the room. I don't think, I don't think Cher would Stubbohen Warren Beatty.

And I don't know if Warren Beatty was just, sure. You think they were just at a cocktail party or something and he tried to give her Nogies? And he just yanked on the way he played yanked the wig. Yeah, I've done that. Yeah. And then ran out of the room screaming. It is a pretty hilarious scene to imagine now that we know it's Warren Beatty. I know, right? I think the funniest part is to have a thing with wigs,

I think is the funnier thing, to be that frightened of a wig that you run out of the room screen. You're an actor, sir. You're going to be around a lot of wigs. That's true. I didn't think about that. Good Lord.

Yeah, he's got to do it. Especially in Dick Tracy. Think of all the wigs in Dick Tracy there was. On a movie set, there's often an entire room's dedicated to wigs. So it's really bizarre. And I'm going to guess. Don't even bring up Riverdale.

My God. Oh, yeah. Don't bring them into Clifford Blossom's house. Good Lord. All right. There you have it. We got... We did it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my brain. At least again, I just want you to know, I didn't have any fun to have my brain be this way. This is just being in your mid-dirties. Yeah, at least I had a good excuse. I got fucking hammered last Monday night or whatever when we recorded on Tuesday morning. Yeah, no, I did nothing. I went to bed completely sober last night.

So this is just... Man. This is just your regular morning fog coming to you from old Jackie's a Bray. There you go. that you had a smile or two and a bray if you're a donkey. Okay. But you're probably a human. So my name is Jackie Zabroski.

I hope you're a donkey. And if you are a donkey, hell yeah, thanks for listening to our podcast donkey. And you can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And you can come hang out with us in real life. So soon, last podcast network.com. We are going to be in Oklahoma City next week. We are going to be in Kansas City next week. We are going to be in St. Louis next week.

Come and hang out with us. Lastpodcastnetwork.com. We can't wait to meet you. We can't wait to sweat our balls off. And I'm excited about it. Love it. Also, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Please send in your celebrity conspiracy theories.

I'm going to compile these nicknames from Lulu looking forward to that. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Very important to check us out over there. If you want to support us further for $5 a month, you get so much content. Weekly bonus content, Jack and I do the leftovers covering any articles we didn't cover in the main feed show. Jackie does the book readings. We got ad-free episodes as well of the main feed episodes and pre-sale codes for tickets. Tickets you can find again at lastpodcastnetwork.com. If you'd like to follow me further, twitch.tv.tv.com. Monday through Friday.

That's Twitch.com. T.TV forward slash hold to nature's ho. Jackie, did you do all of your plugs? I plugged it up. You plugged it. Then MJ? My name is MJ and I'm MJKLCat on Instagram. All right.

Stay kooky babies. Let's sing the shout-out song. Oh, yeah, okay. That's not how we normally end it by me going. Well, I love to stay kooky babies. And we must sing the shout-out song. Sing it with me. Shout, shout, let it all out.

These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read them to you. Come on. Thank you, thank you for sending in your shoutouts, and thank you for all the wonderful messages. Yes. Next week, we're going to do some extra Patreon content

with Holden going through all of, and I think him dealing with his own nickname trauma. So check that out next week over on the page seven patreon. And for this week, I just want to say, again, you can send in your own shoutouts to page seven podcast at gmail.com. I said that I was saying it again, but technically I was saying it for the first time. You can send in your own shoutouts again to page seven podcast at gmail.com. Thank you guys so much for always thinking about us and for sending in such lovely things. Now, I want to send out a much needed I love you and a big old hug to Vic.

Vic says, I'd really like to shout out to myself, if that's okay. Of course it is, babe. Around eight months ago, my best friend of 12 years and I decided to give a relationship a go. He swept me off my feet, telling me he's loved me from afar for years. We were so happy. But last week, out of the blue, he broke it off because he no longer wants a romantic partnership with anyone and wanted to go back to being friends. The worst part? He did it. it by text message. I'm heartbroken, mostly because the friendship is now gone. It's like a double dose of pain. I live alone, and while I do have a fantastic group of friends and family always checking in, I very easily fall into bad habits and go to a dark place when my core is shook. But something

feels different this time. I immediately started putting positive plans in place. I went out on a run, I'm eating healthily. I'm making plans. I'm telling people how I'm feeling and listening to their advice. I have my favorite podcasters filling my ears with joy. I'm really proud of myself for refusing to let this destroy me. I have a tough road ahead of me, but I feel like I can do it. Thank you for giving me a much needed point in the week I can look forward to. The stress melts away as soon as I see my favorite podcast has been updated. Oh my God. Love you so much, Vic. And thank you so much. for sharing this with us. I'm so proud of you because it's so difficult to do that. And I'm so proud of you for being in a positive place. Hell yes. Break the narrative. You don't need to be destroyed. You can be uplifted. Even though I know it's really fucking difficult and all of my love goes out to you. You fucking got this stuff. And who knows what will happen in the future. So much love to you. Now I'm sending out another, this is a great shout out. This goes out to W. Nelson, but this also goes out to

Kylie, because W. Nelson says, I just wanted to give a big shout out to my girl Kylie, Kylie Minogue, for getting her new song played at every gay bar slash LGBTQ plus event for the past pride month. Though our Supreme Court sucks right now, and effectively

made discrimination legal against anyone who isn't a Christian, who will continue to bankrupt future generations of students because they decide to get a higher education or think that Mark didn't get into his dream school because he's white, Padam-Padam has been the only thing to get me through the fucking day. Divas are an integral part to the LGBTQ plus community.

In the past, we could never see ourselves on that stage. So why not cheer on strong, creative, powerful women? Thank you so much for saying this. And also, we were just jamming out to Padam Padam on Friday. Please check it out. Oh, my God. I'm sure you've heard this song already. But, uh, thank you for reminding me, W. Nelson's.

So much love goes out to you. Now, I just want to say thank you so much to Tina for the hot dog beats and to Tansy for the 195 hot dog queen pick. You're both helping me celebrate the high holy hot dog day right. And a special thank you goes out to Bree, who shared about their Faye Bay Fantasy Night. Bree says, we drew courts, made regional dishes and drinks, got together for a way better book club and dressed up, played games, and lived out our Faye fantasy, and they were inspired by the smasher past segment from our show and made their very own game to present a la PowerPoint

style. What a way to celebrate a Faye Bay! Oh my God, so much love to you. Thank you so much for sharing and thank you everybody else who wrote in amazing emails this week or donations of words. I guess it really just depends on what you want to call it. And isn't that a beautiful, poetic thing to describe an email, a donation of words? Thank you, Jackie, for putting that into our lexicon. And thank you guys for your shoutouts and for your emails. And again, you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7podcast at gmail.com that is sever in the number or you can write it out, page 7podcast at gmail.com.

I hope you guys enjoy your possibly shorter week of work this week. And if not, if you're working through the week, I'm right there with you, babe. So many hugs for you, and we will see you guys next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.