Page 7 - Ep. 500: No one cares.

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

WE'RE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKK!!! This week we're gossin' 'bout a Twister sequel comin' in 2024 and how they should have hired JACKIE TWISTERFUCKER ZEBROWSKI for the lead, Jackie headin' down to the strike and how powerful it feels to be led by THE Fran Drescher, Ron Perlman is HOT BLOODED for good reason, the anticipation of The Golden Bachelor and horrifying ways to exploit it as a producer, Tom Cruise DEBUNKS THE WEIRDEST RUMOR ABOUT HIMSELF!?!??!?! and did P7 actually create the fish fucking conspiracy!?!?, the Hallmark Channel Christmas Cruise sounds like a fuckin' nightmare, Guy Fieri has BROKEN JACKIE'S HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEART, Holden is obsessed with a burger made entirely of cheese, how Holden can finally STOP his revenge ritual and return to a normal routine, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; Is Olivia Rodrigo's new shade song about TAY!?!?! Also, an icebreaker 90's fact list to help you next time you are stuck in a situation in which you need to break the ice around you and make things less awkward and this list will provide just such that break of ice that you need, blinds and shooooooooooouts!!!!!!!!!!!! Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's time for more. Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser present. Release the Butthole Cut Tour coming to you in September and October. Where are we heading in September, Jackie? We're going on September 12th. We're going to Nashville. We're going on September 13th to Atlanta, Georgia. And then I'll go in back to my hometown, September 14th of Tampa, Florida. In October, October 3rd, we're going to be in Detroit, Michigan.

October 4th, we're going to be in Columbus. And October 5th, we're going to be in Pittsburgh. Nage 7 and Wizard of the Bruiser Brzeet release the butthole cut tour. You can find tickets at last podcast network.com, baby. Jack it and see, I got a fever of a hundred and three. It is 924 in the morning that I can't hear these sounds. Come on, baby, do you do more than that? I cannot hear this right now.

I'm hot blooded. I'm hot blooded. Is that Winnie awake because she's sick? Is that what's happening? I can't even tell. Is it the planet? Is it the planet screaming about the warmth? It's too hot outside.

It's too hot outside, man. It's too damn hot outside. I can't even breathe. What do I drink water? Hell, no, have another cup of coffee. Jackie, it's awful. It is a whole 78 degrees outside. I am.

Horrible. Excuse me? Horrible. What are you talking about? No, right now, yeah, because it's, early in the day, Holden. Yes, it will be getting up to around 91 at 3 p.m. We've got, we hit 91 today.

I went on a run yesterday in the middle of the day. Big mistake. I thought I was going to die. I just kept saying, you know, thank you, Lord, and all this kind of stuff. You know what I mean? But I didn't die, and I'm still here on page seven post Midwest tour. Is it the Midwest?

We kept actually calling it the Rust Belt. It's not the Rust Belt. There's one thing we've learned. Yeah, yeah. It is not the West. the Rosseville. We've been calling it the Rosbel so long. MJ says nothing. Just sits there. Let us scream. Rusbel, Rosbel, Rosbel. I got it our heads. And then I was like, you guys, it's not the Rusbel. Yeah. And I was like, well, I thought it was. And then I had to clarify. And people say it's the central

planes. Okay. You're talking about Oklahoma. And then I think the Kansas City and St. Louis are the Midwest. But they wear a lot of, they wear a little bit of a southern hat. A lot of cheese hats. Yeah. They wear a lot of cheese hats and cowboy hats and cow lady. dresses, I believe. I'm just upset that we didn't see a tornado. Old storm chaser Jackie Zabrowski. I was waiting for a tornado. You think you know someone. I mean, I feel like I could not have learned a new fact about Jackie. Not only is she obsessed with storm chasing because of the film twister, which totally makes sense because you were the exact perfect age to fall in love with Helen Hunt's performance in that filmic experience. You've never seen it. hit this house and hit that house and come right after you. And the cow's like, oh, fuck, I'm a cow. I'm a flicking around. But this is what I have to say.

We get to the airport, and Jackie's like, oh, dang, we missed all the tornadoes and sent a picture of an Instagram that she follows that just tracks tornadoes. I was like, oh my God, you follow a tornado track or Instagram for regions of the country you never come to? And she's like, I follow many. Yeah, I love tornado. I love a tornado influencer. The high it lingers, ladies to jump it. The high it lingers.

This is, okay, so I one time, back in the Creek days, when we were just getting hammered on jizzies all day before page seven and after page seven. Man, remember when we would have at least two, three fingers of gin deep jizzies before we even started recording? And then we would talk for like four hours afterwards and you would just probably smoke about, I don't know, 12 cigarettes. Sure. At least. And during one of those little jam sessions, Jackie disclosed that she is an amateur meteorologist.

And really loves meteorology. I don't know. I know you know that. The listeners might not know. Yeah, I knew about the meteorology thing. I guess I just didn't connect it to the, like I thought you wanted to be a weather woman, not a storm chaser,

which is completely different things. That's a good point. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I can flate them. Because the other amateur meteorologist, I know who actually is an amateur meteorologist, there was this guy at Occupy Wall Street who was like, by the way, I understand the weather very well. And he was like, his Twitter account became this like little DIY meteorology account.

And it was very helpful having your own little friend who's a meteorologist. And he's also a storm chaser. So in my head, people who are not weather people officially, but whether people unofficially are also storm chasers. But this is just a count of two. I have. Two storm chasers. So I kind of get it, Jackie, with the adrenaline and everything, but what is the pool here? Why drive towards a deadly tornado for the thrill of it? Why?

Like, what is that? Finger of God, man. Finger of God. Just watching how it moves, watching how she snakes through the planes. And just watching, like, is she going to touch down? Is she going to, like, and then how they juke, too. Like, you never know which way they're going. And so.

Now you're saying she does. Or a stormed? Does the tornado have tits, Jackie? Because you keep saying she about the tornado. Oh, yeah. It's got, oh, multiple holes on that tornado. If you get close enough. And if you can wrangle it hard enough and you seduce it, it goes, oh, woo, and I go, yeah, come on over here, baby.

And then I just let it, it goes, I let the funnel point just go right over my holes. And then I'm having sex with a tornado. If I close second to having sex with a ghost, I want to have sex with a ghost. I want to have sex with a tornado. Really? Yeah. It's number two in terms of your phantom sex that you would choose. Phantom sex.

I just feel like a tornado. I mean, it would hoover you down. And is that not what we are looking for? Indeed. Absolutely indeed. I guess, I guess I see it. You just, yeah, you want to see God. You want to meet God in the most violent way possible, I think is what we're getting at.

Would you, as a top, hold on, would you fuck a tornado? As a top? You know, somebody who. who likes to put it in? As a bottom, would I be fucked by the tornadoes? The better question. I shouldn't have presumed you were a top.

I'm sorry. I thought that maybe I could assume you were a top. But whatever you are, do you want to put it in or get it put in? Top, aggressive top. I mean, yeah, I'm an aggressive top.

There's a very funny video of a guy getting interviewed in the street and this little twink kid is like, are you top or bottom? And the guy's like, top, aggressive top, Donovan top. Jesus.

Like, he just starts going off and it's just so funny. And you're just like, what? At the end, the kid's like, you're awesome. And he's like, yeah, no problem. He was like, he was like, you want to kiss me? The guy, the kid was like, I have a husband.

He was like, I have a boyfriend. He's like, I have a husband. He's a fuck. What the fuck? Whatever. I have a go and so hilarious. It's such a good video. Anyways, I'm an aggressive top.

I'm in a top. And I would say, if I were to fuck a tornado, you know, we're going to get some, I'm going to make you some dinner, girl. And, yeah, I'm going to really lay it on slow and easy. Yeah. And we're going to really lay it on slow and easy. ramp up to it. And yeah, I know. You've been with the bad boys before. You want me to, you want to get on my motorcycle, my hog, and have me take you to Luke's, you know, lumber bar or

whatever it is. We'll play fucking fast pool and try to take people's money and then fuck in the bathroom. That's not my way, tornado. We're going to go back to my place. We're going to watch when Harry met Sally. I'm going to hand feed you. You're not going to watch Twister. Yeah, watch Twister. Don't you want to have the tornado see some representation, you bastard? I guess that's true. And honestly, by the way, I'm glad you brought that up. I really, I think tornadoes need more representation in our film like experiences. What have we gotten since Twister?

I mean, maybe the mist you could argue, but I mean. Shark Nato. Shark Nato, but it was, I feel like Shark Nato was like, oh, look how tornadoes are stupid and idiotic. I know, it was kind of mocking them. It was kind of mocking the tornado. You know what I mean? I want to see real stories about tornadoes. what tornadoes really go through.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm pretty sure there's tornadoes in the day after tomorrow, right? Or in like 2012. One of them spawns off tornadoes. That's what I'm saying? They're always in campy films.

What about a movie that's just about a tornado growing up, you know, dealing with society? I mean, we need more of that. I just don't understand. And a tornado in the MCU. I'm calling it. We need tornado man or woman in the MCU.

You know what I mean? Let's get a superhero tornado. That's fair. What? What do you look at it? This isn't... No. What?

It's described as a new chapter of 1996 film Twister. It's called Twisters. Whoa. And it is coming out next year. What? Twisters. It's called Twisters. All I've got...

All I've got... All I typed in Twisters and all that came up was Twisters, Burgers, and Burritos, and Mexican food in Colorado and New Mexico. The eye, it lingers. Of course that's where it goes to for you. It's a... In New Mexico, it looks delicious. I bet it's great.

I want a burrito next to each other. Could you imagine the two best foods in one meal? Please. Please. But yeah, 2024. Unbelievable. You come at me and say that Twister is not a perfect movie. Philip Seymour Hoffman is in it and he is everything. I can't believe there's another.

Don't even get me started on Bill Packson. It is such a... Why do you say that with such disgust, MJ? I'm really... You're upsetting me, MJ. No, no. It's not disgust. with the film Twister, it actually is,

given that everything else from the 1990s has been mined for updated content, you know, we've done full house, we've done every fucking movie. I can't believe that Twister, and Twister has such a, you know, a loyal cult following.

I am quite surprised it has taken this long for Twisters. If Barbie can have a movie, Twister can have a sequel. And by the way, Kieran Shipka and Mara Tienir in it, and those are two annoying names to say, so I'm impressed.

I am also impressed. It's going to be following the daughter of Bill Paxson and Helen Hunt's characters who also gets the storm chasing bug like her parents. There you go. How are you feeling, Jackie? Are you feeling more than alive than ever? I just, I'm mad that I'm not playing the daughter. Right.

You should have played the daughter. Be like, oh, she's plus size. She wears leopard print, but she loves to have sex with torn nails. And that is a tagline I want to see come to fruition. That's that's the third sequel, which is twist hers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's just getting my nipples.

What a confusing name for it. That's such a confusing name for a sequel to a film called Twisters. Twist hers. Oh, it's a, no, it's a trilogy. There's Twister. There's Twisters. Twist hers. That is so confusing if you were to be like.

I love it. I am here for it. Unbelievable. I mean, we'll see. the director doesn't seem to have done anything I recognize, but Michael Crichton, the original, did he write the, was there a novel originally,

but my, you know, famous Jurassic Park, he wrote the novel. He's, he's on as a writer. So, you know,

you can't, you're not too far away. I trust. And he wrote the original Twister, which was probably adapted from one of his, uh, beach read books.

Yeah, he indeed did, write the book, he wrote the book on Twister. It's called Twister. There you go. Oh, my God. Oh, man.

but how cool would have been if Helen, is Helen Hunt still in the game? Dude, yeah. If he actually just got Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton up in that bitch? Bill Paxton is passed, but Helen Hunt is apparently going to bring, they are going to bring in Helen Hunt.

Well, there you go, Sacks strike. While the strikes going on, I think they probably could get away with bringing Bill Baxter back to life in AI form. Whoa. Wouldn't that be amazing? Yeah.

If we all get turned into robot people so we don't actually get any work? How cool is that, Hollywood? Man, can we just say here at page seven, we are pro the strike, we are pro both the WGA and the SAG. I voted for the strike authorization. I'm

heading out. I'm heading out there and that's why I'm hot blooded. Solidarity, man. I mean, you gotta head out for the star site to get at LA. David DuCovny is out there with his, the residuals are out there sign. Can you imagine the networking

that is now happening? Now that WGA and SAG are two gatherers, can you fathom the amount of actors who were like, hey, remember when I was on that show you wrote and we could do, I could do, I could, I could, you know what I mean? I got a rib removed. You know what that means? I have actually heard that it's a bit exhausting, the amount of networking.

Oh, yeah. Yes. That you're kind of like mentally, that you go in and you're like, I'm about to be around like millions of talented or, you know, dozens of talented writers and now actors. It's like going to a Hollywood party for three hours, but every day, all day and triple, quadruple the amount of people at set party. And in the 100 degree heat. Yeah, in 100 degree you all have signs instead of drinks and there's no pool to jump in or like bathroom to hide in.

I won't get up my union unions are good box. But how nice that in an industry where oftentimes you are literally brought up to be like, this is about me, I have to do whatever I can't. It's such a like, there's so much about trying to be a creative person and the hustle culture and all that. It's like, no, no, we have to be in this together. I'm actually so moved by it. And especially with the SAG strike, I was like, well, what, you know, what, like, I know

SAG has a lot of leverage in one way, but there's so many people who are part of it and so much of the culture is like hustling and do your own projects or whatever, but that there's like, it's like, no, no, no. Like, if you scab, like, then you can't be in SAG in the future. And so it's like there's a, it's a great. And also there's all sorts of, you know, exceptions for what there's, there's delineated what people can do, what people can't do, what counts as scabble. and what does not and whatever.

But I just think it's really neat to see, you know, these two industries where a lot of people have had to work, you know, very hard and sometimes in a feeling of kind of isolation. It's cool to see everybody in network with each other and in solidarity with each other. I think that's so powerful. Yeah. Yes. Especially in, you know, the town that everyone claims is all me, me, me, and everyone for

themselves. It's cool to see everybody say like, hey, we are all in this together or we can be at least, you know what? but also have you read my It's Always Sunny Spex script. It's very good. And I feel like if you are looking for work after this is all. You gotta have copies on you though. You gotta just be giving them out.

I think what pissed me off the most makes me really so angry with these executive bigwigs is we just went through an entertainment trout guys because of pandemic. So thanks a lot for being such fucking complete dickheads about this AI and especially the streaming thing when it's so obvious the landscape has changed and it's so obvious that new deals need to be made around this kind of stuff. Right. So thanks a lot for doing that so we can all suffer yet again a giant dearth of entertainment like

we already did. And by the way, it's not like you guys are killing it. All those fucking blockbusters are bombing in the movie theater. You guys are failing. So don't sit here and say, you know what the fuck you're doing when you absolutely don't. Indiana Jones bombed. Only like a few of the big blockbusters that have been out this year have succeeded.

And, you know, add insult to injury, by the way, if you didn't already like dislike, I mean, it's not like I have to convince you guys to dislike billionaire fucking studio executives. But also, they definitely purposely stalled on these negotiations knowing that they were headed for a strike so that they could fucking promote fucking Oppenheimer and Barbie and shit and get as much money as they could. So fuck these people. They're such assholes. Frang Treasher, the number four, and then the word life, but spelled L-Y-E-E-E-E-E. For life.

Man, watching her like impassioned speech. Yeah. What really did, I was just like, yeah. Yeah, Fran. She's the flashy girl from flushing. Are you not so thrilled that she's your representative, Jackie? Yes, of course. I have to wear leopard print when I'm on the line striking for her.

I'm doing it for her. I can't wear the sag after shirt. Yeah, absolutely. We're early adopters of that Fran Dresher, for life movement here at page 7. And yet we had just been talking. There was this picture of her with Kim Kardashian. And people were kind of like, this was before the striker authorization.

It was the night before the strike. The authorization or another. And people were like, this is a strange look, especially since Kim Kardashian is kind of like the face of reality, which has been complicatedly, maybe rightly, maybe wrongly, or partially attributed to, you know, kind of helping scab the writer's strike and the past, the last one. And so it was like, what, why is this happening?

But then the next day where she's just like, the gates of Versailles will be broken down. It's like, oh my God. Damn. All right, all right. Okay. And also it's been fun. I'm trying to look up the one guy.

Maybe you guys know who I'm talking about. Like, the writers got in and they've been killing it. They've been showing up. The signs and everything are great. But once the actors got in, now we're getting really good, like, monologues and shit. Oh, yeah.

I forget the one guy. who, Ron Perlman. Yeah, Robo was like, I'm gonna fight your house. I'm gonna murder you.

There's multiple ways to burn down the house. Who is the other guy though who is so eloquent and angry and perfect and how he worked. Mandy Patinkin. Oh, yeah?

Was out there, yeah, for sure. He's one of them. Of course he was. Oh, what a dream boat. It's awesome. Right? Hillary Duff out there was on the line singing what dreams are made of.

It was really, it's like the content that is going to come out of all of these. And I saw some tweet that was like, wow, you really want to like fuck over a group of people who are famous for being charismatic, well-spoken, and attractive.

Like, you know, like they, actors are the perfect face of this. And again, not always people, like the Ron Perlman thing, right? He said this. It was a little, the Ron Perlman thing was a little. I like to. Yeah. Terrifying. I love that.

I want that executive to be scared in his home. I'm sorry. I do. I want him to be scared. scared. That's the shittiest thing I think you could possibly say. We're going to let this roll until people lose their houses. Yeah. Yeah. Just in your mansion. What a fucking absolute piece of dog shit that person is. Well, and this is a really interesting thing that's been happening, right? So, and then somebody retweeted the Ron Perlman video being like, Ron Perlman's net worth is $8 million.

Okay, fine. Well, cool. So he's a class trader. That's good. You know, like he's a rich person advocating for other people to make more money. That's what you want. Right. Same thing with, there was another example, I'll think of it, but of people being like, well, Matt Damon, Hollywood reporter put out this quote from Matt Damon being like, well, this is really going to suck for actors.

And the rest of the quote was him being like, but we support this strike and the network executives are the ones who need to change. But it's just being, there's all these quotes being put out from actors like, this is going to be really hard on us. Well, no, the actors are in standing in solidarity. So it's, again, it's just amazing. to see like millionaires affected by this famous millionaires who have to speak on it.

It's obviously unlike, you know, the fast food worker strike or UPS strike that might be coming like where you have Matt Damon is the face of this like labor struggle is just a really interesting situation. Agreed. And by the way, to clarify, apparently an executive said about the strike, we're going to let this thing go on and on until people lose their houses. And then Bronn Perlman responded, there's other ways to lose your house. You don't just lose your house through money, motherfucker.

You don't paraphrasing. You lose it. No, no, this is the line. You lose it by me showing up to he didn't save me. You may as well, listen to me, motherfucker. There's a lot of ways to lose your house. Some of it is financial. Some of it is karma.

And some of it is just figuring out who the fuck said that. And we know who said that. And where he fucking lives. Get him. You wish that families would starve while you're making $27 fucking million dollars a year for creating nothing. Be careful motherfucker. Be really

careful. I mean, that got me revved up in a way the writers have not quite been able to achieve with their cute sides. Jesus. Like, I got me got, that got me going. I was like, yeah, let's find the fucking guy. Let's get him. It's in Chipshouse.

It's in Bill's house. Get them. I mean, great stuff. No. And similarly to the famous people being the front lines of this, there was The Oppenheimer premiere. Yes. Yeah, they walked out.

Yep, they walked off. The strike was authorized during the Oppenheimer premiere. And so they walked off of the red carpet, which... Beautiful, man. I mean, good... It really was beautiful. At first, I thought that it was just a couple of them, but then when I saw that, like, all of the cast walked off and it was like, yeah!

Yeah, Union Solidarity! It really does warm my heart. It makes me feel all fluttery on the inside. It's great, and at the same time, I know it feel bad for the rich actors, but it really bums me out. I mean... But I don't feel bad for the rich actors. I feel bad for the people that are working paycheck to fucking paycheck that can't make any fucking money right now. And the rich actors understand that, you know, because many of them have been in that position. Well, I was even saying too, but I do also feel bad for them in the sense of they were, we already went through

pandemic with there. There's a massive work drought. We finally got working again. And now they all have to fucking deal with this bullshit because of greed. And, you know, and now they all have to go walk away. They've been working so hard on whatever projects they've been working on. it's all fucking stopped at a stand. Could you imagine you were just about to have your big comeback movie like come out? Right. And then this fucking thing went down. Or your big break.

And you can't do any of the promos for it and you can't do it. It's like that is devastating to a career. And that just happened to everybody. Yeah. Because of COVID. I think that's just what adds so much insult to injury about this. It's like, guys, we just were forced to not have any work for so long. We're going to do that again to everybody involved in the industry.

and honestly, everybody at home. So now everybody at home, either in 2024, we're all going to either be watching game shows or reality TV. Yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, we're fine. We're going to be at home watching the Golden Bachelor. And we've got to bring up the Golden Bachelor.

Did you see who the Golden Bachelor is? Okay, so the Golden Bachelor is essentially, I thought it was going to be like people in their 90s, with a bachelor and they're all going after. I thought it was going to be like, but the dude that they got to be the golden bachelor is this like hot dude that does not look. If you would have paid me money,

I was like, I don't know that he's 71 years old. Oh my God. He looks unbelievable. I sent you guys the link. Yes, yes, yes. I was great. I looked at the link, but I couldn't. All I could see was a picture of the golden rose.

No, he's a silver fox for sure. He is a hot much. The new one I sent you. Oh, okay, all right. Yeah, yeah. Because I was like, why does it, why is the rose aging? No. And also, why is it turning golden?

They just dry out. What does everyone have its thorn? Like golden oldies. Yeah, he's definitely a silver fox. And my question too is all the women are kind of like, Oh, yeah. Right? Or kind of like around, all the women are on the older side too, right?

Like, or what's the age range? That was also going to be my question. I don't know, dude. I don't know. I was like, is this going to be a bunch of women in their 20s trying to get this daddy? I don't know. It seems like they're. Seems like they're all older, but what I would like, if I were a producer on the show, as a twist, I'd throw in like one 25-year-old.

No. Just one. No, I don't know. You'd be so obvious. Have a bunch of like, you know, sevens who are 25 and then have like a J-Lo who's 50. Yeah. Have like a 10 who's 50 and be like, where are you going to choose old man? Yeah, who do you want?

I love the comments under this. Let's see if the dating pool has actually seen your women as well. or if they believe putting women post 70 on screen will lead to spontaneous combustion and underneath it says, hey now, the female cast will be very, very age appropriate for this man. I'm talking old Crohn's.

Women in their late 30s, even their 40s, groundbreaking stuff. I love it. That commenter is probably right. I'll bet that it will be older women and I'll bet they'll all be in their 40s. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet you.

And I've never like stepped to foot in the bachelor world. I feel like, you know, we've talked about again, we talked about this before. You've got your, you know, your real housewives world. You've got your 90-day world, which we fall in. I have never fallen into the bachelor world, but this is going to be my first, I'm dipping my toe in.

Dip you toe. To the golden bachelor. Wait, man, the AV club has actual funny commenters a little further down. I may be intrigued to watch this, only because the article referred to him as both Jerry and Gary. And I'm wondering how many episodes in before he starts going by Jerry, Larry or Terry. It's just so weird.

On the Ahoo News, it's like, Storm the Capitol again. Well, that's why I love AV Club. AV Club's the best. Even their commenters are amazing. Okay, but I'm sorry, this 71-year-old guy does, yes, he is handsome. Yes, he's a silver fox,

but he just has a slight veneer of reanimated corpse. Oh, yeah. Like, just a little bit looks like he was the actual corpse who has been injected with some sort of like serum. You know what it looks like? It looks like someone, they like skinned a corpse. They left the tan, like the hideout to tan.

And then they stretched it around the corpse of somebody else. Yeah. He is bronze. He is absolutely bronze. He's very tight and bronze. Yes. Tight and bronze. Like a statue.

Keep it tight. Keep it bronze. Like the Oscar statuette. But I can't wait. to watch it now we we can't not bring up the fact that you know now actors are going to have more time i'm very curious to see what's going to happen with our show where we talk about actors that are now out on the the striking lines we're going to see what kind of articles come in but maybe we'll get more articles like tom cruise debunked the weirdest story he's ever heard about himself

we were sent this article so many times and i have Had it opened it yet and I was like, oh my God, no, no. Tom Cruise is finally talking about him being a fish fucker. He's finally going to bring some kind of attention to it. But apparently, I'm so mad because the article is actually, so he was asked, what's the weirdest story you've ever heard about yourself? And he said, Cruz laughed and said the greatest myth about him was that people on set were not allowed to look him in. in the eye. Yeah, this is... Not the weirdest thing. That's not close to the weirdest thing. How about all the implications

about you being part of Scientology? If you scroll down, there is only one comment. This is Yahoo News, by the way. So that is shocking. It is from a man named Bill. Do you want to read what it says, Jackie? What did Bill have to say? No one cares.

With the period. And I'm so happy. And there's one like, one comment with one like. That's it. That is unheard of on Yahoo. that's how little this article moved the needle. Not even all caps. No one cares.

And a period. I love the period too. The mic drop with the period is so good on that one. No one cares. Yeah. And nobody cares. It's strange though because we like as we talk about at our live show like the the fish fucking blinds like we're not created by us.

They were actually snowballing in the real blind items pages. But I will tell you right now if you Google Tom Cruise fucks fish, the only thing the find is like Reddit LPOTL post that I assume are referencing our show. True. There's like not, we are the only, like, we are the Fox Mulder of the Tom Cruise Fox Fish Story. Nobody else is looking into it and why, you know? Now when you said snowballing, are you trying to insinuate that he comes into the fish's

mouth and then he sucks the comb back into his mouth? Yeah, like it's like it's row. Like he thinks it like if he puts it into the fish, that it becomes row and then he smears it on toast. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I created this. And I went out of me, I'm going to throw up.

You did his house. Holden's like, stop, stop. You should have said, I should have said, the stories were cream pying, not snowballing. Right, right, right. I also want to give a shout out to, I believe that it was in our Oklahoma City show because we usually ask the audience,

what do you think, after we read these things, what do you think he actually did with the fish? Like, if he's not fucking the fish, let's say. Like, what is he genuinely doing? And someone from the audience, I can't stop thinking about it. It said, what if he's using the fish as scene partners? Seen partners.

And I don't know why the idea of Tom Cruise talking to a fish and having the fish say the other lines that he's running with himself to me is what is the funny. I can't refute it? Not only can I not refute it, but it's like so much more innocent than what we're saying he does. I know. It's like so cute. It makes him such a cute like old man. I know. It's actually very endearing.

I don't know why I love it so much. I love it. We're just yelling, show me the money! And the fish is just like mouth agape, just staring at him dead-eyed. Oh, God. So I just want to say thank you so much for shouting that out. And I want you to know I can't stop thinking about the fact that it's his scene partner. Yes, and thank you.

But I'm sad. Thank you to the many thousands of people who sent us that link about him debunking the weirdest story. Every single time I saw it, I laughed. because I just love the idea of him being like, yeah, there is a rumor that seems to be propagated by a single podcast that I fuck fish, and that's not true. That is all right.

That's not true. Also, hold Nader's hell. I'd be like, what? Oh, my God. Oh, we starts getting the coconut cake every year. Oh, you can only get the coconut cake he sends every year. If I got the kid, it had just a fucking fish eye, just sitting on the middle of it, you know?

Yeah. I don't think we're ever going to get that coconut. cake now. We can get the coconut cake. Come on, guys. Be positive. Yeah. Jeez, M.J. You're real negative nini. Something I'm not positive about, though. And I, this is saying something because I think a lot of people thought this would be something that we were going to be pro. And I have to say that I'm against it. And that is the Hallmark Channel Christmas Cruise. No, we are not cruise people here at PitchSage Center. Oh, yeah. See, I think I'm a cruise person. What? I thought you'd hated cruises. I'll tell you what, if it was like, well, now it's lame, but back in the day, before Kid Rock became a complete doucheback, I was like, I would do like a cruise like that. The Kid Rock Cruise. But think about who would be on the Kid Rock Cruise. Well, well, before it was fun and then a certain election happened and then everybody lost their fucking mind and now it sucks to be aligned with trashy, fun trashy people. Before I was like, oh, he makes his tickets low for people and that's so good. He never overcharges for beer at his concerts. So that was the thing you knew. about Chris Rock and then everything changed.

But what out? Kid Rock. Kid Rock. Kid Rock. And then Chris Rock got slapped. It's connected. But like the 311 cruise, even though I don't even like three. Like if it was just a weird trashy themed cruise.

Sure. I love a theme party. Absolutely. But I don't think I can handle this. This is to be all Christmas themed and have a bunch of actors I'm supposed to know who they are and would have no fucking clues. Yeah, but you get to meet Lacey Chabair. Yeah, there's no way they got like Lindsay Lohan, who just had a baby by the way.

Congrats. But. Yeah, so they're not getting Candice Cameron Beret. And even if you did, you'd be like, get this bitch off the boat. Yeah, right. Jump off the boat, please. That's the thing. And listen, I am not anti, you guys know I love, I love an all-inclusive resort.

I love a theme party. I love most things about a cruise. I actually think I would love it. It's purely the nausea and the trapped at sea part. I do think I might feel a little bit. The nausea's rough. The nausea is my primary concern. I do, I might be a little bit.

claustrophobic in a big boat out at sea, I might feel a little bit like, you know, I like, I'm a New York City bitch, I like to have everything one block away from me, you know? But everything is one block away, but it's all on the shit. It's all on the ship. See, this is my thing. To me, it's just like an obvious one-to-one that I can't wrap my head around. I guess it's because

you're traveling so you get to go to different places, but I don't really care about that part. The part where a resort has just more space and just more, and it's not rocking, and it's got everything that a cruise offers, but with way more space and way more comfort, I just don't get it. Like, well, I just want to go to a big,

dumb resort, you know what I mean? Well, because you get to go to multiple places. That's the thing. I was just saying, I don't really, I don't want to leave the resort. If I'm going to go to a resort, I might go on one excursion. But then you could also do a cruise

where you don't get off. You can do like an at sea cruise, which they do where they don't stop. So then why am I not a resort? If I'm not going to leave the, you know what I mean? You get to be on a boat. I only want to be on a boat for like a little

that. I like to go on a boat for like an afternoon. I don't need to be like on a boat for a week. Yeah, but wouldn't you want to do Christmas caroloki? Yes, actually, yes. Actually, yes. Actually, yes, I would like to do Christmas caroloke. There's too much cognitive distance. I think we should do it later this year. Yeah, we should. But I know you are Florida people and so you've probably had a lot of like tropical Christmases in Florida. And I did a Key West Christmas once and I fucking loved it. And so I'm not inherently against like warm tropical Christmas, but the whole Hallmark Christmas thing is you're like, you're drinking your hot chocolate

and you're chopping on logs in the woods, you know? Small town. Well, that's why I'm surprised that they're going to the Bahamas and they're not going to Alaska. Yeah, yeah. Like, actually, Jeff and I recently saw someone on my social media went on an Alaskan cruise and I was just like, I want to go on an Alaskan cruise

because it just looked so amazing. and I was just sitting there dreaming of being or like a Norwegian cruise where you go from Fjord to Fjord. That's the kind of cruise I would be into. I think that's why you were so surprised with me wanting to be on a cruise. I got you one even better, Jackie.

How about this? Very cold and you get to see the Titan. No! That's right. Tiny suffering. I don't want to go down there. Do you like Mad Cat's video game controllers? What do you think about this?

Don't send me down there, please. You don't like the controller that the brother, the younger sister has to play with because it's the knockoff brand. I'm scared. I don't like that. I even talk to my father and like just like sit. My father like being in the Navy had to just sit in submarines for like months. Oh wow.

How are you just like you're just down there? I didn't know he went in it. I didn't know he went down in. Wow. Oh yeah. He's like yeah, you kind of go crazy, which is why my dad was always being put into solitary confinement because he would like make jokes on the boat by like putting somebody inside of like a big like wheelbarrow thing and like putting them like rolling them through the book. And then you would get put into solitary confinement.

Henry Zabrowski. Yeah. Henry Zabrowski. Henry Sabrowski senior. Going in the can. But I will also say like none of those people died. Like that's the thing everybody needs to remember. This isn't like a regular thing that happens with submarines.

Like this is so rare that only an idiot millionaire who was just completely. going outside of all rules and regulations could possibly pull off. Yeah, and that's why I think it's the same people that put together the Hallmark Christmas Cruise. And also just thinking of like, we don't identify with, like, you have to remember, like, we love Hallmark Christmas movies. Right. But the politics of the channel, like, I get, and it makes me think of being on like a

Kid Rock Cruise where I'm like, well, I don't know if I'm going to make a lot of friends on, like, I wish if we could, if we could get like us and all. all of like our fun fans and like we take over the Hallmark Christmas channel like the Allmark Channel Christmas Cruise that's something that I would love to do. That would be awesome. Yeah. And I will say if you are listening to this and you are a young buck that is really into Cougars, you will clean these.

Oh my God. On the Hallmark Christmas cruise. Could you imagine how many single coogs will be on the prowl on that motherfucker? I was just thinking that. The whole thrust of a. Hallmark Christmas movie is finding love in unexpected places. Usually because you're a work bitch who's spent too much money, too much time focusing on her career and not enough time focusing on love. And so if this cruise is demographically similar to the protagonists of Hallmark movies, it is going to be very sad because I don't think that the men, the unassuming small town man who is just waiting for the high class business bitch to come into town and get slowed down by him, I don't think that they are going to be on the cruise.

It would be fun though to go and cosplay as like a Dickensian chimney sweep and just go around like face covered. Oh, my God, not. Be the Santa Claus. Be the magic Santa Claus who like, or the magic chimney sweep who like predicts the love, you know? Or crampus. Or you go and just casually his crampus all time. He's scurred out's terrifying people. Dude, imagine the coogs that want to have sex with crampus though.

Yeah, dude. That's kind of fun. The bad boy. Yeah, the bad boy. All the bad boy chasers. Oh, yeah, now I just want to go, like, be weird with the, like, just futs it up and be weird with it. Well, Jackie brought this, Jackie brought this up when we were on tour and we were just chatting. We were talking about the Hallmark Cruise because it was another thing that was wonderfully sent to us by a lot of people who were very excited about it.

And Jackie was like, we have to remember, as much as we talk about Hallmark movies, we are really not the target demographic. We are not the majority of people. Our listeners, people like us, are not the majority of people who consume those movies. just like, and we don't need to talk about this, but also worth mentioning, just like we are not actually the main demographic of Guy Fieri, right? Like, I forget that. My heart is broken. High notes. RIP.

RIP. RIP. For those of you that do not know. I mean, I guess it makes sense, unfortunately, that Guy Fieti likes Trump. And I don't, I can't even bring myself to. say that he's a Trumper, but there are multiple of different occasions of pictures of him like buddy-buddying up with Trump. And it breaks my spirit.

Yeah. It was a... It shouldn't have been a surprise, and yet it was. And it was a gut punch. But, you know, I do forget. Especially because MJ, all MJ and I do is watch the Food Network while we're on tour together when in our hotel room, the Food Network is always on. The second we walk into the hotel room,

we put the food network on. What do you guys watch, Holden? We kind of, we're like playing our switches and we're kind of on our own. I'll turn on the TV for time, time. This whole trip, I didn't. Because I was always either trying to nap or like Doom Scroll Reddit

or we were both playing Tears of the Kingdom on our switch and just talking to things. Yeah, yeah. Isn't that a parable for how masculinity can sometimes feel a little bit isolating? You guys alone in your switches. It's true. No connection.

and just learn in our Switch is playing the same game but in different platform or on different consoles. There's all these stories now about like the problem with men, you know, men are too alone, men need more connection. Totally, yeah, totally.

Well, no, every now I'm gonna be like, oh, like one of us will chuckle and then the other person goes, what? And then they explain what they found funny. That happens. You know, that's connection. Meanwhile, MJ and I are screaming over like, I hate Bobby Flay,

but he is very talented. And I would say, I would say the opposite it's true for the other side. Two connected. Two connected. And that causes its own problems. Now doesn't it?

Because didn't you two fight the entire tour? I mean, it was unbelievable. Oh, yeah, man. Oh, you can't. Oh, it's always screaming at each other, you know? I know we got to get to the celebrity conspiracy, but I do want to bring up this, this, uh, the, this real cheeseburger out of Thailand. Oh, my God.

Holden, I thought we were, I thought that was a leftovers conference. Holden. He kept showing us the cheeseburger. I didn't fight with. Jackie, if I could fight with anybody, I'd fight with Holden for continuously showing me the picture of the cheeseburger. That's my thing on Twitter now. Just showing gross or disturbing pictures and videos to you guys to be like, right?

Don't worry. Also, especially if we were going to fit one more article in, it was obviously should have been about Willie Wonka and the huge trailer that came out. But we're going to talk about the only cheeseburger coming out of Thailand. I will save the cheeseburger for the leftovers. Also, thank you. I'm so happy to see it. I don't want anyone to go through a divorce.

It's always sad, but I do get to stop doing my dark curse ritual. It is finally over. No longer do I have to perform that ritual. That takes a half an hour out of my day every day. Ariana Grande, Dalton Gomez, are divorcing. Everybody knew it. This has been in everyone's like, they're never seen together. Right.

She keeps taking her ring off. Like, this was, like, it wasn't a surprise. Right, right, right. But divorce is in the air. Everybody went to Wimbledon this weekend, and everyone's like, oh, we all love tennis. Tennis is great. I went to the USO, but I had a great. Tennis is so fun.

You know what's fun about tennis is the weirdest thing ever? What's fun about tennis is- What's fun about tennis? It's kind of the same, I think, maybe I haven't gone to a golf, a golf, but it would probably be the same. An entire stadium of people get pin drop silent for long periods of time. And it is a really bizarre, surreal experience. That's the opposite of what I like about a sports function.

I like to sing. I like to like have fun. I like to belly laugh. I don't want to be silent. Well, they light up. There's drinking. There's rippledry. There's a jester that comes on to perform for the king.

That part's great. They always do that at intermicea, which is what they call the half-point break. Intermacian. There's a, there is a, they do a small opera performance near the end of the trombie, which is the final triple A of the tennis performance. You know what? At first, I didn't know if you were kidding or not. Because that's how, that's what I know about tennis. No, it's cool, it's cool.

It's weird. It's fun. I like how everybody gets really quiet. It's so weird. And you're just like, we're all in a library right now. But there's thousands of us. Yeah. That sounds, that sounds interesting, I guess.

Yeah. That sounds interesting. Oh. But divorce is in the air. I can't believe Sophia, uh, rest in peace. Sophia Vergara and her husband are divorcing. Unbelievable.

Save some of it for the leftovers hold in. We'll talk about it on the leftovers more, but that's some crazy stuff. Uh, Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. If you'd like to hear all the articles we didn't cover today's episode, we always cover it between Jackie and I on the leftovers. So check us out on there for just $5 a moont. Um, all right.

It's time for the conspiracy. Hit me with the chair. Do you believe it? Is Olivia Rodriguez's new Shade song about Tay. Oh, this is the word on the street. This is the word on the street. So I want to get into this. That came in from a couple people.

One, Aaron wrote in about it. And also Jordan, who wrote, Love the show. Love all three of you. Shout out to Gloria. Special shoutouts to the porch goose. Yes. No shout out to M.J.'s porch goose, which is interesting.

Talk about shade. Goosey ratio. Unbelievable. Euse Erasure. That's why we love M.J. Goose erasure, indeed. A, A, G, A, B, right, people. All right.

I saw this article and I instantly knew I needed to send it. Holden, this may be tough for you to read, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is TAY really becoming the villain? Some of us, sorry, not sorry, knew she was capable of being this whole time? Whoa. Yeah, whatever.

I can't think you're even really to read this email. I'm willing to. You know, it's for, all the Tay haters out there, I got to get feed them some chum as well. You know what I mean? Every now and again. After Matt, Ice Spice and now this, I guess she really is a mastermind. So here we go. Recently, Olivia Rodriguez released her new single Vampire. And it's a banger if I do say so myself, check. And I love it. We think it's great. We played for MJ on the road. It was, it's a very fun track in my opinion. I like it too. Since she refers to a guy on the track,

folks first thought that this was about her ex, Adam Faze, which is a dumb name, especially since the two had a bit of an age gap. Rodrigo being 18, phase being 24. So, not too great. I feel like it's just on the cusp of it being like, come on, bro. But 18, 24, when they got together. The

theory changed on Twitter, however, when folks started speculating with that the bloodsucker vampire theme is referring to Tatee, since they have a rumored feud with each other, which I'd heard about, I kind of felt it just in the sense that, like, they were both of the Grammys and T. Swift took a bunch of

of pictures with a bunch of people, and so did Olivia Rodrigo, and neither the Twain shall meet at the Grammys. But before that, they were, like, supportive of each other, and then that seemed to kind of stop. You know what I mean? So, the article then gets into the nitty-gritty. I'll try to sum it up. It's a lot. There's a BuzzFeed article if you really want to get the play-by-play. Olivia Rodriguezgo got early support from T. Swift for her album Sauer and was even credited on the track, one step forward, two steps back, as this was an interpolation of Swift's song New Year's Day. Now, the whole interpolation thing, this is what legal battles happen over when a song sounds like another song, when a song was like influenced by another song,

but it's not like a direct rip-off. They called it an interpolation, and it's kind of up to the courts to say whether that's like an infringement of the original property, right? And it's really weird. Like an interpolation is sort of like a, it's very, it can get in a kind of music theory stuff, but it's the way like the same kind of notes are used, but in a different way, but sounding the same. So anyways, retroactively though, apparently, she, Taylor Swift, and Jack, Ansonoff, and even Lord

were added onto other songs that ended up being deemed interpolations too, which points to a potential legal battle behind the scenes. If they were added retroactively, that means maybe some legal action was pursued. This led to Olivia having to give those parties involved

a huge cut of the money she made on Sauer. Let me dry. Since then, it seems Taylor has distanced herself from Olivia. I already explained the Grammy's thing. She's also having Rodrigo's rival, I say, in quotes, because I don't know if they actually have bad blood. But Sabrina Carpenter is apparently the woman who, you know,

got a driver's license. She was like the other woman. And then Sabrina Carpenter put out a really good album called Emails I Can't Sand where she kind of responds to how much shit she got for being the other woman. It's a whole thing, right? And it doesn't seem like they've necessarily, publicly at least reconciled or like had a thing like all this that and the other so the song points to being bled dry like uh i don't know someone getting a bunch of money for a song that you wrote and

sang all because it was influenced by the original work of the other artist yes makes sense what do you guys think who is is olivia matter at tay or is tay matter at her Olivia's mad at tay because she had to lose a bunch of money because her songs were deemed interpolations. Is Tay mad at Olivia for allegedly, you know, stealing her? This is what's kind of hard for me to totally digest because T-Swift, at least on the outside is very like, support women, don't pit women against women. And so I don't really completely buy the narrative that she would be like so mad at Olivia Rodriguez for just kind of like being so inspired by her music that she wrote songs that kind of have a DNA in the, you know, in T-Swift's music.

You know what I mean? But I don't know what happened behind the scenes. I mean, you never know. Because this could also be Olivia responding to like T-Swift's like lawyers at the end of the day and not really T-Swift. Right. You know what I mean? Or if it's even about this.

Because at the end of the day, even I was hearing the other day like, even the song, Dear John, people are now, people are like, that wasn't even written about John Mayer. And yet everybody attacks John Mayer for that song. But that song may not have even been written about him. but he just gets all the death threats and shit from, like literal death threats from people. Good Lord. So this could be one of those where I can totally see it. Do I believe?

Neh. I wouldn't be shocked if it came out. I would absolutely in no way be shocked if it came out that that is the actual situation here. Do I fully believe, though? It's hard for me to fully swallow this just whole hog because it's hard to swallow an entire hog at once. Yeah, you've got to really unhinge your jaw. Yeah, you got to totally. Yeah, you've got to become a Python man.

And I've been trying to become holding the Python man, McNeely. But the circus still won't take, and I can't grow those scales. And, you know, it's the whole thing. Lexi would hate it. You know, there's a lot of reasons why. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're not made for Carney life. Yeah, it's true.

I like this, you're like giving a kind of talk about music theory and some of the legal stuff. And you're like, can I swallow it? And then you just unhinged your jaw while we're recording. Oh, my God. I just hear these sloshing noise just be swalling an entire hog. What do you guys think? I'll believe. That sounds very plausible.

Yeah, I'll believe it. I also, by the way, I think this needs to be said by me. I believe Taye can absolutely do wrong and is absolutely capable of being a shitty person. Do I love that she has the biggest carbon footprint ever? Yes. It's great. But I don't know. I just don't think that I just sit here and just go, everything she does is she can do no wrong.

And she, you know what I mean? I think she fucked up with the Mad Healy thing a little bit. You know what I mean? People make mistakes. You know what I mean? It happens. And people make steaks, and I might make steaks tomorrow night. We got a couple of filet mignon's.

So I think I'm going to make this. Got an unhing your jaw. Yeah. Get those steaks in there. You know how I eat meat. That's the whole cow. Swallow the entire steak without even really tasting it. That's how I eat steak.

Yes. Jackie, did you already weigh in? I'm trying to. I did. I say I believe. All right. You believe. Unbelievable.

But it is believable. And it's believable. And it's believable that it's time for the list. Why don't say unbelievable. I don't know why he's unbelievable. Who's on the list? Jack A, got to have that list. Fun facts about 90s pop culture that'll have you saying,

did you know next time you need an icebreaker? It's a long headline. Yeah, wow, God. It's a long headline. Brian, on the BuzzFeed staff, you've got to learn how to edit a little bit, buddy. That is a way overly worded. It's a long headline.

It can't do news anymore, but I can still do this. Yes. The iconic scene in Clueless where Cher is being mugged and hesitates to lie down on the ground because she's wearing a lay a dress is inspired by something that really happened. According to Amy Heckerling, who wrote and directed the movie, she was once having dinner with some agents when one of them told the story he had heard about another agent who had been mugged while he was wearing an Armani suit. When the mugger told him to get on the ground, he replied,

but this is Armani! And I just think that that is a funny thing to say. Is this circus liquor a chain or do I actually pass where this was shot? I lived very close to the circus liquor. Everywhere in L.A. takes 20 minutes. Takes 20 minutes. It takes 20 minutes to get anywhere. This is something that I didn't know.

Don't turn around. Because I was in my heart break it. Yes. Don't turn around. Yes. It was a huge hit for Ace of Base in 1994 when it peaked at number four on the Billboard Hot 100. But the song is actually a cover of a team. Tina Turner B-side.

Really? Tina recorded the song in 1986 as a B-Side to her single, typical male. The song was co-written by Diane Warren and co-produced by Brian Adams. I had no idea. I will say the reason that it's good to have a little bit of fluency in pop culture, even if you're not a huge pop culture person, is my first night in college, the first night sharing with a room with my roommate. She, like, had lived in a million different countries, had never lived in the United States.

We had completely different. Like we were like so struggling to like figure out like where to connect. And she was brushing her teeth at the sink in the dorm room. And I was right behind her. I can't remember who said it first. One of us was right behind the other. And one of us goes, don't turn around. And then we both go, if you want to see my heartbreak.

And it was like an immediate connection. Oh, I love that. And from there on out, we were like besties. And it was just one of those little moments where Ace of Base brought us together. Love that. That's a connection, babe. Yeah. Well, I didn't know this, but it did end up being a big hit. Both Nirvana and MTV thought their now iconic episode of Unplugged was going to be a disaster. According to drummer Dave Grohl, the band was not used to playing acoustically and the rehearsals they had for the show had all been terrible. Also, speaking of Dave Grohl, we were talking about how, I was hanging out with Henry Natalie last night. We were talking about how, I was hanging out with Henry Natalie last night. We were talking about how, Before we go out on stage, all of us for the release of Bato Ok tour, we all will take a shot of tequila. And apparently, Dave Grohl does the same thing with the band before they hit the stage every night. I love it.

I wonder what changed from stage to show. Also, first CD for me. What was you guys' first CD? Natalie and Brugley is torn. Nice. I want to see. CD, not tape. Cassette tape was different.

Cid tape was prime. Primus Pork Soda for me for Cassette, but CD was Nirvana unplugged. Oh my God. The first CD I remember being excited about owning, but it was my brother, but it was crazy, sexy, cool. Like, that was the first TLC. Ooh, good one. Nice. Nice.

Awesome. All right. Now I'm skipping it down because this is, I will say, I've got my Barbie tickets for next weekend. I'm very exciting. Don't even get me started on trying to get Oppenheimer tickets. That is just not. Yeah, you mentioned that in the emails that I can't believe.

I mean, honestly, I'm glad to hear that because I said earlier how everything's bombing and I hate that. I want there to be a, I love, Barbie is very full. The movie theater industry to stop. I love going to the movie theater. So it's just, yeah, I'm glad to hear that. And the unions want people to go, by the way. The unions want people to stream. They want people to go to movies because they want to show that there is, that this,

that people want to want this and it's valuable. And that it's, so that's something. It's like there's different ways to show solidarity, but not going to movies is not one of them. It isn't interesting that neither are a superhero movie, neither are a sequel. I mean, one is based on a known property, but even that, I mean, everything that's going on,

Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig, co-writing it, Greta Gerwig directing it. You know, everything going on with that movie is unique and interesting and not like, just here's the copy and paste of the same fucking action movie or superhero movie you've been watching for years. All those movies are bombing. So I also love to see that.

like new IPs are hitting, you know, hard. And that is cool. And that's the draw. That the people behind it are the draw, not the property. And I just feel like, again, studio executives think that it's all about, oh, well, it's Indiana Jones or it's fucking Spider-Man. So everybody's just going to go. And it's like, it's not the case.

We're going to go because we know that the, you know, Spider-Verse franchise is on point. And that's why we're all going to go see this movie. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, Heartbreak feels good. in a place like that. So that's why you got to go visit Nicole Kidman at the movies. That was weird though.

This time they changed it and she's like, getting your dick sucks feels good in a place. And they just had like a bunch of people like horny people hooking up. Did they dub you over it? That's why I think they're bringing American pie back. Just try to make, they're like, make the movies horny again. You know,

you know, they did all thing on that. Make them horny. Well, that's why they're bringing in earring magic ken. Because in 1993, Mattel released the earring magic can. However, it wasn't a hit with its intended audience and actually went on to become a huge seller among gay men. Nice. This was mainly because he was dressed in sort of 90s gay club clothes and had an earring and highlights, oh, and the fact that he appeared to be wearing a cock ring as a necklace. Yeah.

The doll was produced as part of the earring magic Barbie line, and while it was selling well, it was discontinued and the remaining dolls were recalled. Yeah. Dan Savage had a big thread about this, how it was one of, at the time, one of the Barbie franchises kind of, kind of, of highest missteps was that this visibly gay Ken was really either an accident or an on-purpose that didn't get caught, you know? He's just Ken. Seems great. I love it.

I want one. Hell yeah. It does look like a cock ring. It does look like a cock ring. At the very least, a handcuff. Yes, just one handcuff. Yeah. That's my first thought.

I was like, that looks like a handcuff on like a, you know what I mean? It still is just inherently kinky, that necklace. Yes. We talked about this during our Spice Girls' pop history episode. The Spice Girls did not come up with their nicknames. It was a magazine editor and his staff who came up with them as part of a feature they were running on the group. According to Scary Spice, the journalist who wrote the feature was too lazy to remember their names and just gave them all nicknames. Honestly, the journalist's laziness was probably one of the best things that could have happened to them.

Isn't that ridiculous? Yeah. That's crazy. They were already named the spice girls, but they didn't have individual spices. The individual names, but they were just like, I don't know, this one's the baby one. Yeah, baby spice. Yeah, that's what you. I just imagine how creepy.

Yeah. In my brain, this was a very creepy operation that happened to give them the names. Wow. Yeah, that's, I mean, I like that they reclaimed those names. Yes. Owned them for themselves. They made them their own. And boop, boop, boboop.

I'm trying to see which one is next. There's so many, but I want to get the good ones. Yeah, this is like such a fucking meaty list. You can almost ret two-time this list and do it second half next week. Stephen Spielberg's involvement with Jurassic Park really happened by chance. We were talking about Michael Crichton earlier. He was originally meeting with the book's author and his decades-long friend Michael Crichton about a medical drama film script Michael had written.

That would eventually become the TV series ER. However, as the two were about to begin to talk about the script, Michael brought up what his next not yet published novel would be about, dinosaurs being brought back to life using DNA. Stephen loved the story called Jurassic Park, and that's all they ended up talking about for the next few hours. He then had Universal by the film rights as soon as they were available in May of 1990, six months before the book was even published.

Man, what a layup for that guy. What a happy layup for that dude. Because, of course, because he's the exact right person to make that movie, too. Just happen to be chatting with the guy writing it. That's awesome. I don't know. It's just like kind of like, I know obviously no one in LPN is Michael Crichton or Steven Spielberg.

But it just makes me think of like our LPN studio when we all like are hanging out in the studio. And then we're just like working on different things and then like coming up with different ideas and stuff like that. It's the value of having that space. It's really, really exciting to have that situation. You know what I mean? I mean, a lot of this new fun stuff coming out of the network right now is largely based on just running into people and striking up combos, which is very cool. Which also, don't forget the LPN's The Grind is going to be on July 29th. MJ is flying out to L.A. for it. We're doing a 12-hour long, big. You remember MTV's The Grind? It is going to be a lot like that except more insane.

Yeah, please. Yes, there's going to be. lots of kitties. Yes, there's going to be Ed Larson hosting from inside of a hot tub. It is going to be ridiculous. July 29. Also, last podcast network.com for the live shows. I just, can I throw this out here right now? Because I just want to make sure it gets said in like the show where people, people won't necessarily like turn it off during the plugs. In Denver, there was a fan. She was blind. You loved the show, but it was so visual. And I promised you, I would give you a full description of the visuals in the show. I have forgotten your Insta tag or handle or whatever.

Please DM me so that I can get like your email and actually follow through with that. That was so long ago and it's a monkey that's been on my back. I would love to give you some description of what everyone else saw that night because you were the best ever and I want to follow through with that. So please feel free to DM me. And you can also head us up at page seven podcast at gmail.com if that is easier for you. Also works. I'm hold Naders on. I know we just, I only say Insta because I know we followed each other, I believe, but holding Nader's on Insta or page the number seven

podcast at gmail.com. Back to you, Jackie. And also, don't forget to get your tickets. Next up, it's going to be Nashville, Atlanta, and Tampa. And again, reminder, my whole family is going to the Tampa Show. So you might want to go to the Tampa Show. My parents might be at the Atlanta show, bro. So you have to be coming to the Atlanta. Oh, God. It's the parents.

Oh, my God. The emotional labor I will have to do for both of you to help you through the crises. Oh my God, the agony. My mom always just being like, please, can you just make something I can show my friends? Please, for the love of God. And this is going to be no different. Just wall to wall boners and, you know,

filthy jokes and all this kind of stuff. Just watch us be embarrassed on stage. Oh, you guys are going to be so upset for that whole tour. I'm so excited. I'm so embarrassed. I think I'm going. Blind. Items.

Oh, we can't see them. First off, we've got the young A-list actor that has never been known for his discretion. But to say the A-List reality star is one of the worst times in bed he has ever had is really not all that nice either. Hi, Taye in the wind. Timothy Shalama. Yes. Shalima-Ding-Ding-Dong. Can you guess the dumb?

reality star from the annoying family that it was bad in bed. Kylie Jenner. Yeah, wow. First one right out the gate. Well, they're dating. Oh, okay. Apparently she sucks in bed.

What do you think about that? Whoa. Yeah. There you have it. Well, he kind of, I'm not going to say sucks, but he doesn't really sell it that hard in the trailer for the Wanka movie. He ain't got that Riz, man.

He got the Riz. I will still say, I'm still excited about this movie. For the sheer fact, it is a full-on musical. They are trying to harken back, to like the MGM musical era of like big over the top musicals. And I love that. That gets me so excited. For sure.

I want musicals to come back in a huge way. I want a giant musical resurgence. I would love that. So I'm still rooting for this movie. And I'm just kind of hoping that it's, we're just not seeing it yet in the trail, through the trailer and it's going to, or it'll just be great despite the kind of low key performance because of the giant musical numbers and the great songs. So who knows.

I like that positivity holding. And the director of Paddington, bro. Paddington fucking rules. Paddington's amazing. So I'm sold too on that shit. Like I love the Paddington movies. Yeah. Let's see what happens.

And let's see what fucking happens in the blinds. Whoa. Okay. A-G-A-B. This former cult follower is set to move in with a movie producer and ghost writer. The wheels are in motion to get as much out of her as quickly as possible. This is kind of just a way for me to shoehorn in another fun news story.

But do you know anything about a recent development with cult followers? Leah Rameini? No, she's just getting out of prison today. She's been in prison for many, many years because of a thing that happened with a certain family. I'm assuming the mansons, but I don't know any of the mansions. You don't know who got out? Leslie Van Halton was released or is being released from prison like now after all this time. I keep seeing the story hold it and I keep thinking of Millhouse Van Houghton.

And I'm like, is this a Simpson's story? I had no. No, dude. She was like 18, I think, when she was a part of the killings. She's now finally being released. I mean, it's one of those. She was a model prisoner. She had no infractions whatsoever.

She did everything, you know, that was asked of her. She deserves the probationary experience, right? And I do believe she was a young, totally mind-warped kid. You know what I mean? and so it's wild. She's like 70 now or something like that. Yeah, she's born in 1949. She's like 74.

Isn't that fucking wild, bro? And they finally let her out. And apparently it was a real travesty the way the Manson girls, now women, are being treated because nobody wants to let them out because people, up until around now, people have been afraid. It's all politics.

They're afraid of losing votes by letting, being the, what is it, the governor? I forget who has any control over it. They don't want to lose the votes by letting a manson. family member out has been the reason. Yeah, even though they've been clearly they have done, they've done more than their time. And wait, who's the movie producer that she's moving in with? Do we know? Don't know. But just that makes sense. I mean, that makes total sense to me.

But that is kind of crazy. It's like the idea that she would immediately move into a house with, you know, people. And I mean, it's very Shawshank Redemption. I just don't even know how you reenter society after all that time. I don't, it's almost harder to do that than stay in prison. It's almost like they just kick you out and don't give a shit about you. Yeah, it's almost like they fucking... And there's no rehabilitation and there's absolutely no help for...

Yeah, it didn't. Yeah. What do you think about that? Jackie, do you think that's fair? Yeah, you know what? I was about to say, I was like, you know what? And I say, God bless it.

And I am, I am for it. Wow, your father's daughter indeed, Jackie. Your father's daughter indeed. And I say, God bless it. Oh, say, God bless. What are you doing on this Christmas cruise? Cirolochy. Chimney, sweet boy?

We need to figure. We have to do Christmas Caroloki. I love the idea of Christmas Caroloki. Let's get the good night and do that around the holidays. I would love to do that. All right, here's a fun one. This A-list singer-slash-actress is claiming she is the true inspiration for the pay cable show slash torture porn. She's a real freak out and you know she wants to be bad.

Is it Brit, Brit? No, it's not Brit. What's the show, Jackie? The idol, obbs. Who was with the weekend for any amount of time? before the show was made. Do you know? No.

She has perpetual. To me, she's broken into acting on a TV show with two very famous comedian actors. She, um, I liked this one breakup song she had not too long ago. She, uh, really good friends with Tatea. She's a Disney girl.

She, uh, her last name is the first name of a Adams family member. You can't figure it out off of that. Oh, yeah. Cassie Bugsley. Her first name is the name of a dead woman who used to sing. Oh, a dead woman who used to sing, you say. Who is famous south of the border. I cannot give you more fucking clues to that.

That's absurd about a clues. Selina Gomez? Yes. I was just going through. I only'm thinking of the Adams family. You had me at Adams family. He's like, okay, I can back. track from Adams family. Okay, all right.

And for Selena, you know what I mean? So Selena Gomez has apparently told the insider, she thinks the similarities between the main characters on the show and her and her ex-boyfriend the weekend were, quote, creepy, and that, quote, her real-life pain was used for entertainment value, and that really irks her out, end quote. I forget that they dated. I forgot about that.

There were actually a lot more than this, but I just pared down a couple. There are subtle similarities. Selena tends to blow a kiss directly to the camera during press spots, and Jocelyn does that, the lead character in the idol in the second episode. Gomez faced backlash for going topless

on the cover of her album in 2015. That's something Jocelyn deals with on the show. Just a lot of weird little stuff like that. Does she also have the cum picture that she's going to use as the cover of her album? Who knows? Maybe, yeah, that is a plot line. In the show, MJ, she has a leaked photo from her phone of her with a bunch of fucking

jizz all over her face, right? And then the weekend's like, that should be the album cover. Of course. What do you think about that, MJ? I mean, everything about the idol already sounded, in addition to being hilarious when you guys

relentlessly play the song on the road and talk about it constantly. I don't know any more of the lyrics. But wouldn't you be so mad if you were Selena Gomez and you were like, this is the show? that you stole my shit for? If it was at all good

and if the weekend was at all good in it, maybe I'd be like, good on you, you foggy, you figured out. To be like, man, this is so bad and you think you're the fucking right person. Like you have the wisdom from what this relationship was.

She also, like, I think she had to cancel her tour for various reasons like Jocelyn has to do in the show. Like, it's just for like trauma reasons. Like, there's just a bunch of little, I think I believe. I know it's kind of a conspiracy a little bit. I think I might believe on that one. Yeah.

Sounds pretty accurate. I'm with it. So there you go. There's your blinds, my friends, and I can see yet again. Welcome back. Congratulations. Two lovers looking at me, and it's great to see.

Are we the lovers? Yeah. What do you think of? What are the lovers? I'm staring at you guys. You're loving people. You're lover. You're just lovers.

You're just lovers. I was just like, I know you said that as if like we were your heron. Yeah, I mean, if you guys want, you know, I definitely got... Diverses in the air. We'll talk about it more in the left. Divorces in the air. But apparently that it's interesting, the women seeking men husbands or whatever, that bad show you're watching. Seeking brother husbands.

Apparently none of them are polyandrous. They're all polyamorous, but they won't let them talk about the lovers that the men are taking. And they try to make it seem like they're polyandrous. Why didn't they just find polyandrous people? I don't know. Good question. I'm a freak. Yeah.

All right. That's it. Thank you guys for joining us on this week's episode of page seven. Divorces in the air. Be careful in your partnerships. And it might be coming for you next.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with us on the road. Lastpodcastnetwork.com. We've got six more dates for right now. We're probably going to add more dates on there

and you've got to come hang out with us. My friendship bracelets are unbelievable. I'm saving all of my friendship bracelets in a little box, and I'm going to be wearing all of them to eras. So I'm so excited, but even post-era's. Those are such a fun, lovely, personalized gift to receive from you guys on the road, and I love it, love it, love it. So thank you so much for that.

Thank you guys so, so much. Holden? Twitch.tv. forward slash Holden Nature's Ho. Twitch. Dot TV forward slash Holden Nature's Ho. Monday through Friday streams. We're back with Jackin this week.

Check it out. Jacket with the Holdies on Friday. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Send it me your celebrity conspiracy theories. I do have actually a decent amount to get to, especially as we've taken a week off or whatever. But keep them coming. Thank you so much for that.

And of course, patreon. com for page 7 podcast, $5 gets you. For $5 a month, you get a weekly bonus content from both Jackie and I and Jackie slamming down the book readings. You get pre-sale codes for tickets for our tour. You get most importantly ad-free episodes of these shows if you want through that.

And for $10 a month, you can join us on our Jersey Shore watch along every Thursday at 8 p.m. ET on Discord. It is a fucking blast. We have so much fun with that crew that joins us every week. MJ. My name is MJKLKAT on Insta.

All right. Time for the shout-out. song. Shout, shout. Let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're gonna read them to you.

Come on. Thank you guys for sending in your shoutouts, and you can send in your own shoutouts to page seven podcast at jmail.com. If you wish. Uh-oh, I'm being a bit of a wishmaster, more like bitchmaster, Am I right?

No, Jackie. We're supposed to be talking better about ourselves. Really difficult to talk positively about yourself anyway. I'm not here to talk about positively about myself. I'm here to read the shoutouts. And again, that email address is Page 7 Podcast at gmail.com. You can send anything in if you'd like. Hopefully it's something that makes us smile.

And if not, maybe we need to learn a lesson. We are starting off with Will. And Will, I love this. shoutout. Shout out goes out to Troy Savon. Please ignore the insanity of the idol. But damn, Troy Savon, that new single rush is an actual bottle of poppers. Troy, you may have not been able to elevate the idol, but damn, do I want to run a dark and sweaty club after hearing that song. Also, shout out to you all and this community. I love you all so much for the deep conversation about fish fucking logistics that I miss in my day to day life.

I love seeing how much you have grown from the early cave comedy radio days. One day I would love a pop culture history of the LPN network. I love that. Much love, Will. Thank you so much, Will, and thank you for sending in the love. I've got another shout out going out to Jay Clow. Jay Clow says two weeks ago, I got to see Ye, in Cincinnati for night one.

My husband, a true Swifty himself. And I think that that meant to say Tatee, but maybe you were just a celebration. Maybe you're just going, yay, yay! And I knew exactly who you meant. But anyway, my husband, a true Swifty himself, worked relentlessly to get tickets for us, my niblings, and my ex-sister-in-law, and he did it. We had a blast. My niblings sang every song, and it was a night I will never forget.

However, Danielle, the ex-sister-in-law, and I wanted to try and do both nights last minute. And she pulled it off. $300 last minute tickets! We dressed in sheets, hats, and sunglasses, the complete anti-hero get up, and lived our best lives that night. Danielle went through hell and back to get us those tickets, but she's also been through hell and back several times in her life. Every single time she comes out on top, shining brighter than... than before. She is such a bright star in my sometimes dull life. She brings so much light and love to my

life. And not only that, she gave me my nibblings, who are many versions of both of us mixed up. Talk about scary. My brother was a monster to her, and sometimes I still struggle with how I handled my side of things. But seeing our relationship today and how it flourished in such a dark time, I know that she knows I'm in it for the long run. I'm incredibly blessed to have a friend. friendship like hers. She matches my energy to the max. She is up for any adventure I can come up with, and she is a godsend in the fashion department. I'd be lost without you, biotch. Thanks for reading. Jay Close. So much love goes out to you both, and I love your friendship. And I want to send a special thank you shout out out to Dan. You're so right, Dan. Dan says, love the show, and the 499th episode

was especially hilarious. I was slightly disappointed that Jackie missed an opportunity to tie her love of gravy and her love of a Christmas Carol when talking about her mushroom burial request. Rather than a funeral or awake, wait for the mushrooms to sprout on the burial site, make sure they aren't poisonous,

sorry I'm a park ranger and that shit is no joke, thank you so much, Dan, and then make a nice mushroom ragu and have a party called more gravy than grave. I don't want to tell you how to live or die in this case, but I thought it would really honor your incredible incredible legacy. Hopefully not for a hundred years. Love y'all. We love you too, Dan. Thank you so much. And last but not least, uh, my little kisses go out to Silent Squee, Silent Squee from our chat.

And Silent Squee says, this is Silent Squee from Chat and Discord. I have been listening for about four years, but never sent a shout-out in since you started them. My shout-out is for you. And Jake from Wisbrough, too. I need to tell you that your Podcasts and streams are always the highlight of my day. I know Tuesdays through Fridays are going to be great because I get to hear you talk about stuff. One of my favorite things is to hear people talk about things they are passionate about. I love screaming at y'all when you can't get the blind item clues. I love hearing Jake and old and gush about that week's subject.

I even love April. Hit it! I really want you to know that most of your fans like, like you. Naysayers are always the loudest. You shouldn't let negative DMs or emails get to you. For every one of those, there are at least 10 people who love what you do, but never get the gumption to say it. Until today, that was me. I finally girded my loins and got the courage to tell you. I love y'all.

Or in holden terms, I like, like you. Well, you know what, silence squee? I like, like you too. And thank you so much. I love you so much. And thank you so much for your shout-out. And thank you to everybody for writing in their shout-outs. Again, you can send in your own shout-outs to page seven, podcast.

at gmail.com, and I will read them with my own eyeballs. Page 7 Podcasts at gmail. Guys, have a beautiful week. I hope that my horrible dulcet tones that I started hot-blooded with at the beginning of this episode didn't ruin your ears, but hopefully lifted you up that maybe we can sing, even when our voices thrashed from drinking and screaming on tour for days. I love you guys so much, and we'll see you next week. Well, you'll hear us next week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors.

You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.