Page 7 - Ep. 502: For Whom The Jackie Tolls

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

FOR WHOM THE JACKIE TOLLS, IT TOLLS FOR HOLDEN AND MJ and we're gossin' 'bout Cardi B pelting people with her mic, Beyonce's Momonce is gettin' a Divoronce, RIP to both Sinead O'Connor and Paul Reubens, Kristen Bell talks to Kelly Clarkson about crackin' a (non alcoholic) cold one with literal girls, talk of a potential Barbie sequel ALREADY, Lena Dunham is going to be giving Polly Pocket the live action treatment, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner; IS IT TIME FOR GAYLOR! Who's got the list? MJ'S GOT THE LIST! and the toughest blinds yet! Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's time for more. Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser present, release the butthole cut tour coming to you in September and October. Where are we heading in September, Jackie? We're going on September 12th. We're going to Nashville. We're going on September 13th to Atlanta, Georgia. And then I're going back to my hometown, September 14th of Tampa, Florida. In October, October 3rd, we're going to be in Detroit, Michigan, October 4th. We're going to be in Columbus. And October 5th, we're going to be in Pittsburgh. K-7 and Wizard of the Bruiser-Bruset, release the Butthole Cut Tour. You can find tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com, baby. Buddy, sorry, it's a little different this week. They've already turned it off.

They're already like, okay, whatever. I'm done. I'm good. Well, I have to practice for Thursday, okay? This is very important, all right? So you guys are just going to have to deal with it. Oh, now people are going to turn it up. I'm drunk in the back of the car, and I'm crying like a baby coming home from the bar.

Oh, said I'm fine, but it wasn't true. I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you. And I suck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate. Oh, and I scream for whatever it's worth. I love you. Ain't that the worst thing you ever heard. He looks up grinning like a devil. It's new.

The shape of your body is blue. Oh, you feel it, Chad? You feel it, you feel it's a cruel summer. It is a cruel summer. this is the summer of death, divorce, tragedy, MJ. It's all around us. Good Lord. We are, it is a summer of a lot of divorces, and we do have a couple of sad celebrity deaths,

but you know what? Perhaps the saddest of all is that Jackie Zabrowski is very alive, but not here right now. Divorced? Not divorced either. All right, not divorced either. There you go, two for two. That's good. Alive and happily married, but not present here.

Alive, happily married, but not here right now. And we know that there are a lot of page seven people out there for whom she may as well be dead and divorced if she's not here. For whom the Jackie tolls. For whom the Jackie tolls, yes. If you come to page seven for Jackie, you are experiencing your own summer of divorce right now because she's not here, but don't worry.

She didn't get a divorce from the show. She just has a work thing this week that we are going to accommodate her, an exciting, great work thing for her. And so Holden and I are here. And good news, it's also ERA's Week for Holden. Oh my God. So this Thursday, I'm going to ERAs. I told Likes, we have to get there at 10 a.m.

No, it's very funny, though, because she was like, wait, what time do you want us to get to the video? I'm like, like, the middle of the afternoon. Why? I mean, I want to be able to get some merch. I want to just take my time. Last time, we were, like, sprinting. I was stressing out

I think Camilla, no, Charlie was it, Charlie X-X I think was first had already come out. Like one of the other reasons I went to the show. Well, it's Camilla Cabello and Charlie X-X. It was a great opener. That is a great opener. Great opener.

And, you know, I was like missing part of the set, opener set. And I was like, it just was a whole thing. But also, it's like, this really is for me, I don't know what word to say it. It's like, I don't know. I'm just, it's my. special moment for me.

It's like a wedding day, but for you. It's my wedding day. Yeah, Bridezilla, yes. Even though you're also married. This is my wedding day. You know what it's like to have a wedding day, but this is your wedding day. And it's very important to me that I experience this thing purely and fully. I don't want, I don't want to be stressed out.

You don't want your wife to get in the way. I don't want to be stressed out. I'm also giving her a full sleep-in morning. I'm doing the full morning with, because I just want to guarantee a fun evening of fun. Yeah. Yeah. To do everything I can.

And I think that you're going to, I think you're going to have a fun evening of fun. I'm excited for you. But it's so intense with a kid because the show doesn't get out into like after 11. And then it's going to get home from there. Yeah. It's going to take like so. I don't even know it.

It's going to take like two hours to get home, I think. Yeah. I don't, it's crazy. I don't even know how, but I'm going to do this. And I don't. care. And also I'm putting out the call on Friday night. Maybe she was too drunk to understand that this was a mistake. But Jackie said she wants to go to Fokaneras, dude. And I want to go a second night. I'm putting the call out still. Two tickets. Make Jackie and I's dreams come true.

If you can find anything. People, thank you, by the way. Everyone's sending in, DMing me with like contests to win tickets and stuff like that. That's huge. If you know any other secrets, send them my way. Or send me to the key master. If there's a ring lord that I have to do a mission for, I'd be happy to do it. So let me know. You know, and I know that people, Jackie and I actually discussed this. So Friday, Jackie confessed to Holden that she does want to go to Erez. And then Saturday morning, she and I discussed it in the sober light of day.

And she stood by it. And she says, I really do want to go to Erez. And I said, you know what's sad about this is that if Holden and I talk about this on page seven when you're not there, people won't believe us. people will think that Holden's obsession has gone too far and he's lying about Jackie now. That's the thing. And I get it. I get it because you already have a disdain for my passion, you know what I mean? Which is understandable at best and idiotic it works.

You know what you mean? But I need you guys to know that she really wants to go and how fun with you what you know we'll take a bunch of videos and we'll put out a bunch of content. And again, okay, now you get, not only do you get the full Holden McName. Neely experience at Erez if you decide to take us because you have extra tickets. You get the whole Jackie Holden experience now for eras. I'm going Thursday. It is the first night of the run. I cannot believe how many shows she's doing.

It runs this Thursday through Wednesday. And so, and I will probably, I will drop whatever. You know what you mean? I'll probably drop whatever. You got some money put away for Winnie's College that you could tap into probably. I mean, show me where the seats are on the map maybe, but other than that, like, if they're not like my already horrible seats, then I'm probably in, you know what he mean? So. Yeah. You know, and I think I get it because, listen, I get that not everybody's

thing is Taylor Swift. That's totally fair. If you feel like Holden talks about Taylor Swift too much, that's, that's, there are many criticisms of Holden that you can level. Nobody says that, but whatever. I don't understand that one because let people have their little fandoms, right? But if you don't personally get it, I understand that. But I feel like the thing about ERAs is like even, it's just the concert, again, I'd say this all the time, we love a collective experience. Cool thing about Barbie, really fun, big collective experience. Everybody's dressing up. Everybody's going opening weekend. It's like this whole thing. I loved that, by the way. Yeah. And Erez has been that for months. So it's like for months, it's like, oh, now it's

New York's turn. Now it's Philly's turn. And it's just been fun to see everybody go and have fun. So I'm not even, I'm a, I'm a tailor person. I only do the bops. My brother keeps trying to convince me to do folklore and Evermore. I only like the bops. But I would totally go because it would be a fun, big old thing. What's not to like? Well, if you go, you need to know a few things.

First of all, you have to, of course, wear friendship bracelets and trade them with friends. I doubt I'll make a lot of friends, me being the way I am. But I will attempt to and trade bracelets with people. And I will have an arms worth things to the fans who showed up to our release the Butthole Cut Tour. Last Podcast Network.com. We've got some more shows in September and October.

We have so many friendship bracelets. It's actually really, really awesome. I have a lot of friendship bracelets. I'm very hype about that. I still have to get my era's look. I think I might go to the mall like literally Thursday morning. I might like just go and like try to find something.

But also the bridge I sang at the beginning of this show. That must be sung at the top of your lungs. It's one of the first songs of the whole night and everyone sings that bridge. Also. Jackie was yelling at the, at Holden because on Friday night he didn't have it memorized. I didn't have it. I've been working on it. I haven't memorized. How do you not have it memorized? I've been working on it. And now I've got Lexi working on it. We're both keyed in. Also, one of my favorite ones is after at a certain

part of Delicate when she goes, but you can make me a drink. Everyone goes, one, two, three, let's go, bitch. So you got to scream that when she does that. And then, you know, and then, Mama on the side where you at, you know, it goes into that whole bit. So we were watching reputation. anyways last night. All right, everyone's already annoyed now because I've been talking to much. Now I'll cut you up.

Let's talk about a different concert experience that I really hope stops. But I can't help but root for Cardi B even though assault was involved. Cardi B throws a microphone at a fan who tossed a drink at her. And I've watched the video like the Zapruder tape back into the left just to like,

see B is at first you're like, wait, wait, was she like, you know, you want to make sure it was intended that she intended to throw that drink the way she did. Yes, she did. She clearly, like, holds it in a launching way. Like, she is not there to sip a pawnst it. And then it goes flying at Cardi B. So, yes, the drink was intended to be thrown.

Absolutely. After that, you go, wait, did she actually hit the right person with the microphone? That was why I got rewatching it. I was like, oh, shit, did she hit the right person? But of course she did. Because she does not miss. Yeah, of course. She literally does not miss.

And I want to say this to you, asshole person in the crowd. how dare you then go to the police afterwards? You are such a little wimpy wimp for doing that. And guess what? Throwing a drink on someone I believe technically counts as assault. So I think that you were the first perpetrator of that. Yes, the microphone heard a lot harder than the drink did. But I'm so fed up of seeing stories in the news about performers getting hit with things while they're trying to perform that I'm happy.

Performers are starting. to fight back. It is so crazy. And yeah, I was looking at this article and it was like they listed all the other people. I believe, was it Bebe Rexa who got hit in the face with the phone? Yeah, Bebe Rexa, the following people have been recently hit on stage.

Harry Stiles, Bebe Rexa, Drake, Kelsey Ballerini, Steve Lacey, Kid Cutie, and Pink have all had shit thrown at them. And the guy who threw a phone at Baby Rex's face busted her fucking eyelid open or eyebrow area open, had to get stitches. And his quote was, I thought it'd be funny if I hit her with my phone, which is the most idiotic,

nonsensical thing. That's such a weird, like, waste of money. Like, I just don't even understand any element of how that's funny, but I don't understand comedy anymore. I don't think, again, I'm feeling this way because of just the general comedy climate of social media.

So this is old man McNeely, signing off. MJ, take it away. for the rest of the show. Yeah, it's really, it is. 50 minutes with MJ. I'm not even going to weigh. I could do it.

I'm not even really going to weigh in on like, there's a lot of people being like, is this a trend or is it just that we're seeing it? This has always happened and we're seeing it more because more people have phones or whatever. I don't really know it does seem like a trend. Yeah, it started with a slap around the world. It's hard not to link it to that,

but I don't know if it actually is linked to that. We literally said, like people are actually concerned that this has unlocked some Pandora's box of like aggression from the audience towards live acts and I was like yeah but it's not real like I'm sure it's whatever and now it's just happening all the time so I don't know what to think that's the thing like I also I remember us saying after this lap like well this is kind of just like a significant there's a significant symbol of a barrier between the audience and the stage in terms of physicality that you like to respect.

And it was, the slap seemed like, okay, well, that has been broken in a way that we hadn't really seen on television before.

And so I don't, but again, I hesitate to like, be like, this is a trend that was started with that or whatever. I don't really know.

But I do know that Cardi B is like the, the, just the best person to confront whatever this is. If it's a trend

or not a trend because she just immediately was like, I have been attacked. I will attack back. And she was, so unfazed by it and it is so in line with just her general approach to things. Yeah.

And yeah, I mean, of course, like, nonviolence, whatever, you shouldn't like attack or whatever. I know. But like, she had, I think she had kind of a primal react. Yeah, he said, don't, don't mean violence with violence, et cetera. But yeah, if somebody throws shit at you on the stage and you have the, like, kind of primal reaction to just throw your shit right back at them, it's extremely satisfying, you know? I will say, though, if you didn't see this part of the story. Literally like earlier that week, she has, there's a video of her.

She's on a microphone throwing spree a little bit. She throws a microphone at a DJ who kept like cutting her songs off early in a Vegas show. And there's actual video of it. It's a very similar lob. She like throws it. She kind of has that moment of like, motherfucker. And then like throws it like in the same way that she threw the mic of this lady. I feel like that was maybe a little less justified, but also kind of hilarious.

I'm sorry, I do find it kind of funny. It's a funny visual image of her just going, it's also such a give up on performing. Like usually you'll see video performers like fighting back but continuing to do the song. I know. Taylor Swift was like yelling at the... It's over.

Yeah, but she just relinquishes the mic completely. It's like, I'm not doing shit. All of a sudden she just standing out of stage. That was also my favorite part about it. It was just like, okay, I guess the song's over, you know. She just doesn't give off. Yeah, it's just fuck it. Yeah, which is such a funny.

I'm glad we're putting into words. I'm like, why is this so funny to me? Like, why is it just, it looks so silly? And listen, if you think that this is just like a Cardi B thing, Adele recently said at her Vegas residency, she said, if you throw something at me, I'll fucking kill you. So, like, you know, again, I think Cardi is just the person who's ready to be like, I am not going to let you,

like, attack me without attacking you back. But I also, it does seem like performers certainly are noticing that this is a thing that they have to fucking. think about now. That's right. And Kelly Clarkson's noticing someone throwing some Rizzerway. That's right. During the opening night of the Grammy winners, Las Vegas residency chemistry on residency chemistry, I guess it's called chemistry. Ooh. On Friday, one woman held up a sign letting Clarkson know that her girlfriend gave her a, quote, hall pass for the American Idol alum. And Kelly Clarkson responded, my girlfriend gave me a hall pass for you, said Clarkson,

reading the sign aloud. If I was in a chicks, I'd take up the offer, I just unfortunately like dicks. Yeah. Great response from Kelly Clarkson. Good word. Unfortunately, too. I love that. I love unfortunately.

That's how I always say it too. I'm like, I am just unfortunately and relentlessly attracted to people with penises. It's also just so funny that the idea of just like liking a bunch of dicks. Like, I don't know. I just see a bunch of dicks like in a field. Like, it's just like, I like those dicks. I like dicks. Right.

Unfortunately. In the abstract, it's a strange thing to like, you know. can't argue. That's why that's why it's so funny that she said, unfortunately. Yeah, it's like totally crazy this live show stuff, but at least we're having some fun moments with it. But yeah, come on, people. You know, what I'm going to do, I think for Taylor Swift, I think I'm going to throw something at her, but in order to do it, I think I have to just put something in a hot air balloon or attached to a drone or something and fly it from my seat. It'll probably take a couple days to get there, but finally get to the actual stage where she's performing to drop it on her.

My seats are so bad. Ladies and gentlemen, the Jackie Holden experience comes to you. You all listening. I just want to point out that drones, you know, you're not talking about a weaponized drone, but drones might be also frowned upon in terms of a tool. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. I guess because they're used like weapons in the military and whatnot, I guess.

No, mine'll be a fun drone. It'll be like painted pink and it'll have, you know, hi, I'm the problem, it's me and it'll have a machine gun attached to it. Don't listen to that. I'm kidding. That's all joke. Please don't make me not be able to go to the show. Now to talk, get a little, hey, it's a cruel summer.

It's a tragic summer. And, you know, I'm glad we're kind of out of the divorce whole of news we've been in lately. I will say, though, shout-outs what Beyonce's mom is going through divorce. That was the new one this week. Oh, yeah? That's, yeah, Beyonce's mother just filed. Who's next to go?

We'll see. But it was more about death this week. And I want to talk about Paul Rubens and I want to talk about Angus. But before that, did we really talk much about Shnay O'Connor last week? I think that the Shnade stuff happened after we recorded last week

because I don't think we've talked about her at all. I, MJ, you know, I definitely thought about you a lot this, this week because of this, because obviously you're, you know, you're our little resident activist or whatever. I like to make my little points. I like to make a little argument about things that I believe in sometimes. Yeah, yeah. So, so I was definitely thinking about you a lot with this, with her because I definitely feel like I got her wrong when I was younger. I definitely just saw her as like a part, you know, a bit of a party.

Cooper. This woman is beautiful, but so angry. Yeah, it's like, she's just always upset about something. And I just want to be, you know, a silly Willie boy, you know what I mean? Yeah, that is the plate of many of the activists. And I, you know, it was before her death. I was listening to a podcast, a couple people were talking about her documentary and how powerful it was and how badass she was.

And this was pre-death. And I was like, I should watch that documentary. I should go back and listen to those albums. You know, Cobra and the Bear, right, is her first one. And really see, because you forget sometimes, you're like, oh, right, this artist is probably way more than just nothing compares to you.

Right. You know? Right. Like, there's probably a lot more going on there. There's no way that was the only thing that made her what made her such a household name, you know, that and the Pope rip, right? We love to distill things to its dumbest fucking nature in this country when it comes to like the scope of a person's career in life, right?

Right. And so I was already kind of thinking about doing that. And then she passed away and that day, that day we went to see Barbie. I put on Cobra and the Bear on the way home. We threw on the documentary that night. We watched it over a couple of nights. And I proceeded to just be kind of blown away by this person. and it's really just so unfortunate that she was only seen for that one incident.

And weirdly, we have a weird line to draw here between her and Paul Rubens. And I had to look up the incidents. And Paul Rubens' this thing, I believe, happened in 92. She ripped the Pope photo up in 91. Oh, wow. So they were both right around, they were within a year of each other. And there were two people who got completely fucked over. by this ridiculous conservative culture that we had

in the Reagan era and around that time. And they really were unfair, dealt a really unfair hand, you know. And I think what was amazing to learn about with her, she just had a horrible childhood, just an absolutely awful childhood. She had a, you know, just a horrible abuse. She was a part of a tradition of Irish music.

being fight music, fighting back against oppressors. Yes. That was her, that's her lineage. She was never a pop star and she has said as much. That's the thing. Which I think is amazing. I feel like it, I know, it's one of those things where I know that I'm not, there's a whole context to Chenate O'Connor that I know that I'm missing,

but just in the tradition of like Irish protest music that you mentioned. And also what was going on in Ireland in the 90s, right? Like if you haven't seen Dairy Girls. Like Dairy Girls is a great little. introduction to like the troubles and the Civil War in Northern Ireland and all that. And so this was, I also didn't know about Chenate O'Connor. And around the same time that the documentary came out, there's also several books that came out about her. There's a great you're wrong about that goes all through her with the author of one of those books whose names I will bring up in a

second. But they were talking about that so many activists, they, when they are, when their story is told, the intention of what they did is taken away. And it's like, I learned about Shanaanette O'Connor like, wow, poor Shanaan O'Connor, she ripped up a picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live and her career was never the same. And the intention of her of being like, I know exactly how explosive this is. Right. I know the impact of doing it on live television. I know what this will do to my career. I'm doing it anyway. Like, I want to do this. And she, you know, the quote that everyone was sharing this week is she said, you know, I didn't ruin my career. I ruined the career they had planned for me. Like, I ruined all the money they were

hoping to make off of me. But, like, I was born to perform, and I still do that's what I get to do now to, like, make my money or whatever. Yeah. You know, like, that's what I. Yeah, and she wanted to be a protest singer, you know, Bob Dylan was one of her heroes. Like, she wanted to make protest music. And how crazy was it? Then that's the craziest thing, right?

As everyone's points to is that right after the SNL thing, she was performing at Madison Square Garden, a fucking Bob Dylan tribute, no less. And that was the performance where everyone was booing and Chris Christofferson, God bless him. came out and, you know, backed her, which was amazing. And like, and the bravery of her. And she said, fuck it. And she cut the song they were going to play. And she re-sang the thing she sang at S&L. And it was, it's so powerful. Yeah. She's like, she's an incredible person and, uh, very, very, uh, blown away by her. Definitely watch that documentary. Um, it's, uh, I think it was Showtime, I believe. The other thing I love seeing the hip hop community come out really huge for her, like on Twitter, Flavor Flav,

who's like my new favorite person to follow on Twitter, by the way, he's like a massive Swifty now. He's just amazing. All he does is give money to teachers who need money for school supplies. Like, he's just kind of an incredible spirit on Twitter. And he came out really big and showed the clip from the documentary when she performed to the Grammys

with the public enemy insignia painted on the side of her head in protest because they weren't filming any of the hip-hop Grammy categories. And the hip-hop community, the rap community fucking really, really appreciated that. Yeah.

So, you know, it's an amazing alliance. And one of these things, again, it's like, I'm not like a huge music history person, but it was kind of amazing that we're not really

learning the full context of Sheney O'Connor and exactly the extent to which she knew exactly what the fuck she was doing until however many years later.

The book, by the way, is called Why Shnayette O'Connor matters by Allison McCabe and Allison McCabe was on the, You're Wrong about explaining all of this. But, yeah, we, when I was in L.A. for the Sub-A., and Haldon and I, after doing a really, really fun,

Jacking with the Holdies, got, we were drunk, and we watched a bunch of Shnade O'Connor videos. And, you know, it's like the only good thing about when a musician dies is that experience where you go back and you're just like, oh my God, I really, it's like a, it's like a, this, like, melancholy feeling of like, I should have listened to this more before she. die, you know.

Her songwriting, her voice, it's immaculate. Yeah. So definitely go listen to it if you haven't already, which you probably have. And let's talk about another sad death. Sorry to, sorry about this, but I have to give, I have to give tribute to these people. I mean, they're incredible people. I cannot talk about, and I cannot talk about Paul Rubens. I just, you know, listen to, well, I'll just say this.

We don't have to go too far on it. Listen to our pop history that we did, me Natalie and Jackie did a full pop history on Peewee. And it's an incredible story. He's an incredible guy who also got totally fucked over by like a one-line headline about him. Almost more ridiculously, I feel like, because what are those movie theaters supposed to be for in the first place? Why are they?

What are you talking about? It's a porn theater. But regardless, yeah, it really sucked. I felt like what happened to him. And Peewee's big adventure is, you know, probably on, I don't know where it lies, but it's one of my favorite movies of all time. Oh, yeah. His work in general is so special.

I mean, his work is so special. He's incredible. And a big early Tim Burton guy. I mean, that movie's amazing for all of that. And just, yeah, just an incredible talent. And I just hope he's getting, like, the do that he deserves. I think he is. I saw so many people reach out about so many celebrities and come out and say how special

and great he was and how apparently he would send you a bunch of, like, funny memes on your birthday. That was, like, a thing he did for, like, everybody who, he was, like, friends with. And it's very sweet. And I don't even want to read it because I'll cry, but he put out a, like, I think it was the day he died. He wrote down a message just saying, like, I'm so sorry I hid this from you guys.

Yeah. Like, I love you guys. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to cry. I'll vamp while you cry. Also, Natasha Leone was one of the kids on Peewee's Playhouse. Did you know that? I saw her post.

That's why I know that now. And Mara Wilson posted about how incredibly. kind he was on the set of Matilda. Like, it was like, he, like, looked over at her and made, like, a real corny joke. And, you know, she said, like, you know, she felt like so trusting and close with him ever since. Like, it's, it is, he is really one of those. It's interesting.

The connection between him and Chenate is a really interesting one. Yeah. It's, I feel like there was something in the air with that one. I was like, this is very eerily tied or in sync with it with each other. Baby, bye, bye, bye. Go on. And I was, you know, in 91, I was a young kid. I was not close enough.

I was not, I remember watching, you know, Pee Wee's Playhouse and stuff. But, like, I was not, I think that Gen X are the people who really have, like, the deep emotional connection to Peewee because they were kind of the right age to, like, really grow up with it. But, like, you know, the whole adult movie theater thing, like, kind of just, that was totally one of the things, like, if we were to do a rewind about it, like, and I were to talk about my memory. of it. It was totally just one of those things where it was just like, oh yeah, it turns out peewee's a pervert, L-O-L. And that was just kind of like the story that was then, right. It's so solidified about him for decades that, again, wasn't really lucid until a few years ago. I hate social media now in a lot of ways, but the one nice thing about it is there's just so much more nuance to any story. I mean, that was the era of a dingo ate my baby of, oh my God, I can't

believe this lady's suing McDonald's over coffee. Uh, you know what I mean? It was just every, it was, we wanted to distill every single person and every single news story down to like this simple idiotic premise. Right. And these two people were definitely suffered from that for sure, you know? And, uh, uh, yeah, I just, and I mean, we didn't even get into the fact that about, you know, how she was right. Right.

Right. Yeah, right. By the way, she was so right. She was so right. And it's so ridiculous, you know, because, um, she was like in it. She, like, grew up, I don't know. I don't know about you, but we were, like, not growing up in it, and she was. Right.

So, like, she knew what was going on with it. I know. But anyways. Yeah, so shout out to them. And then one last rest in peace to Angus, Angus Cloud. From Euphoria, right? From Euphoria, who played Fezco, who was incredible. And, man, just, God knows what's going on there.

It was, like, a little early, so we don't know that many details. Maybe we don't need to know any details. He was an incredible talent. on that show. I will absolutely say that. And a little bit of that show dies for me because, you know, he was such a big part of what I liked about that show. Oh, yeah. So, geez, Louise, can we get out of this bit of despair? Okay. All right. Good Lord. It's a cruel summer. It's a cruel summer. Should we talk about how Kristen Bell feeds her children, non-alcoholic beer? All right. All right. Okay. So while the parents are here, right, it's a full on parent pie.

First of all, how the kids do it. And they do it. Oh, they're good. Oh, it is fun, dude. She's cute, bro. She does have her first dance recital this Saturday, which is going to be chaos and hilarious, and I'm so excited to go see it, and I'll probably cry a bunch.

But before we get to that, we've got this non-alcoholic beer thing. I don't know how I feel about it. First of all, there technically always is, like, the tiniest amount, I guess, of alcohol in a non-alcoholic beer? Is that madder at all?

I looked into that heavily when I was pregnant because I was like, can I drink non-alcoholic beer? and everything is like, oh, there's a little bit of alcohol in it. But it's like as much alcohol is juice, you know. I don't know. I mean, I've just shocked that kids want to drink non-alcoholic beer at all. I remember that was the whole litmus test with like beer was like,

all you have to do is be like, if a kid is like just really wanting your beer, just be like, okay, try some. And then they'll be so disgusted by it that they'll never want to try to get until they're much older. But for some reason, these kids are just like craft beer, fucking artisans. Yeah. So also, by the way, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are in the news two different times this week, one of which because they got trapped in an airport in Boston and couldn't get a hotel. And so they, like, had to try to sleep on the floor of the airport.

And then the airport kicked them out. But then also, she is in the news because she said, on the Kelly Clarkson show, by the way, she said that her kids like to go to restaurants and order non-alcoholic beer. And she said the explanation she thinks is. is that Dax is in recovery. And so he doesn't drink beer, but he likes non-alcoholic beer. And so she says that, like, when the kids were babies, he would, like, take them on walks and drink non-alcoholic beer.

And so she thinks that they have, like, a nostalgic connection to it, which is like, okay, whatever, like, maybe. But her kids are 9 and 10. And so she says, now when they're at restaurants, they'll say, do you have any non-alcoholic beer? And she was like, you might not want to, like, say that in public because people are going to start judging me about it. And I, like, went through such a roller coaster about this.

Because at first, I was like, well, if you're giving your kids literally, like, a taste for beer, isn't that probably not good? Like, I'm not worried about the alcohol content. I think that it truly is, like, minuscule. But, like, is it bad to be, like, develop your taste for beer? But to her point, she's like this, she said, if anything, it opens up the discussion for why daddy has to drink non-alcoholic beer. because some people lose their privileges with drinking. Drinking's not always safe.

So like I kind, by the end of this article, I was like, maybe this is like completely totally fine. Like it's not they might be cultivating their taste for beer, but it's in the context of being like alcohol can really hurt people. And like daddy has had to reorient his whole life so that he's not ever drinking. And like so it's probably, they're probably getting like a pretty grounded discussion overall. in terms of like substance use, which is not what most kids get, right? Like most kids try a sip of beer

and then are like, oh, that's gross. And then when they're- Right, understanding of what, why a non-alcoholic, yeah, like what the difference is and like what that means. So like, I kind of think it's, I kind of think it's fine. My problem is like, I just realize

like Dax Shepard sounds normal, but just Dax. Dachs, hey, docs, docs. Ducks! It's so bad and weird sounding. Like, I don't know. I just, I don't know if it's a good name.

Docs! Hey, Docs! I'm a little bit biased. Docks? Docks? Docks? You want me to suck your docs? I'm not even like a Kristen Bell stand, which I know many people rightfully are. I like Kristen Bell. I like Chris and I like. But I am a little bit biased for the story because I really like the way that they both talk about parenting and they seem to have like a really cute relationship. And one time when I had a clogged duct when I was nursing, a clogged duct for you non-parents out there is when the milk gets stuck in the milk.

a boob and it won't come out. Oh my God. And it's a nightmare. And it's not just that it's painful and uncomfortable, but it's that like it will make you so sick that you need to be hospitalized if you can't figure out how to get the milk out of there. And so I was, I was like panicking and I was so upset. And it was like the worst several hours ever.

You're going to talk about how Gideon sucked your clogged duck down or whatever again? Dax Shepard sucked Kristen Bell's duck out. And my sister-in-law told me, well, I was like in this throats. Dax, I need you to suck my. I was in the throes of the sphere. And my sister-in-law goes, well, when Kristen Bell had a clog duck, she got Dax Shepherd to suck it out. And I laughed so hard that it like finally got me out of the funk that I was in. That I was able to like problem solve and get through it. And I will always love Kristen Bell for sharing that because it is if you are not used to the general horrors that come with breastfeeding, it is a disgusting story. But if you are familiar with that fact that you will do anything to. to solve this problem. Yes. I actually think it is so endearing that Dax Sheppard was like,

I'll suck it out. Relief. Yeah. Yeah. It's only a relief, a giant relief. Yeah. And what gives me the opposite sensation of relief is this talk already of a potential Barbie sequel.

And I knew this was going to happen. I saw a quote already, I think, from Marga Robi being like, you could just tell she was like, how fucking dare you talk to me about a sequel? We just rolled this movie out on the most exhausting press. or she's probably ever been on her entire life. I mean, there was so aggressive the advertising. And for good reason, by the way, this movie's about to make a billion dollars.

I don't know if you knew that. I love that. I love that Taylor Swift and Barbie are saving the U.S. economy. I think it's... Massively, dude. It's crazy. Like, and, you know...

But you bring up a good point, I saw an article title about this, and I agree because I'm secretly am one. It was like, yeah, this is really proving that, like, there's this massive audience of girls and women out there that will

fucking, you know, really go for this kind of content that like if you actually make shit for them. Is this the thing that pisses me off? Okay, before we even get into this, I don't even want to say this stupid name because at the end of the day,

he's just doing clickbait shit anyways, but for anybody out there who legitimately is like mad that like, or it's calling the Barbie movie like woke or whatever, like, if you go to that movie and you're surrounded by the audience

that movie was intended for, all I know is what, I saw. And that was many women and girls crying their fucking eyes out because of how much it resonated with them. Yeah. So maybe, dude, maybe it's not, maybe it's not that it's like woke or whatever, bro. Maybe it's just for not for you. And maybe it's for them. Right. And maybe they deserve content too and that everything doesn't have to be tailored for. And what's so funny is it's like it's the snowflake fallacy. Like they want to call us snowflakes and they're the ones that feel like everything needs to be tailored for them, and if it has the tiniest scent of wokeness or whatever they metric

they judge wokeness on, which is all nonsense anyways, if it has a little inkling of that, then they go, oh, like they're an elephant with a mouse in the room. You know what I mean? And it's so pathetic. So I just can't believe that this is even a thing, because if you were in that theater, the one that I was in, you would see how important this movie was for such a specific audience of people and like not feel like mad at it or whatever because like it's not it's also like it's not brainwashing them bro there's like there's let's say there's like a monologue in the movie that has a lot to say about what it means to be a woman that's not like a brainwash monologue that's a monologue that is so true in everything that it's saying to such a

specific group of people that it makes them fucking cry right they're not crying because they're being tricked into thinking that's the way it is. No, no, no, it's really hard to be in this society and be a woman and try to be all these things at once. It's fucking hard. And this movie nails that. You know what I mean? And so it just blows my mind. And then, based on what I just said, MJ, right, the idea that this movie, and you knew it was going to happen.

I mean, Mattel, it's Mattel. They're just trying to get that cheddar. You know they're going to make a sequel. And it's going to be fucking terrible because this is absolutely the kind of movie that just does not need a sequel. at all. And I really hope, I really doubt, and I hope for this too, that Marga Roby would not, Robbie, whatever, would not

do it again. So they'd have to get a completely new team to do it. I doubt Greta Gerwig would do it. I doubt Greta Gerwig would do it. I doubt Greta Gourkeg. Because the whole thing is like, she's like, I have something to say. Yeah. This isn't about the whole point, I mean, and I'm so sorry that I

haven't seen Barbie yet, so I can't speak to the specifics, but I've read a lot about it. I've really enjoyed, yeah, we've been talking a lot lately about how exhausted I am by just discourse about anything. I'm just like, I don't want. want to have. I just don't, I'm like so tired of having to formulate opinions on things. I don't know. I don't know. And like, I have, I've really enjoyed the Barbie discourse and like people, you know, there's

everything you said about how much it's resonating and how many, so many women, women across all these different demographics. And then I've also seen people be like, you know, the, the feminism politics of Barbie are like pretty basic. But I saw a great tweet that was like, well, yeah, like, if it's a 101 to feminism, I'm like a lot of people need a 101. A lot of women need to be brought in. And the whole goal of making, if you're trying to make art that makes a point, the goal should be to bring people in.

It shouldn't be to like, you know, kind of signal in a way that like only people who already get it really get. It's like, no, bring people. If you're bringing in women across all demographics to like share in an understanding of like what patriarchy does to both women and men, like, okay, great.

Let's talk about that. And I joked with you before we started that that's such a gatekeepery, like hip-eeper. story thing to say. Like, I was into feminism way before you're getting into, you know what I mean? It's so lame. Right. And it's like, okay, well, cool.

And we should make more advanced feminism things, too. But, like, it just seems like there's, it's such a net gain from a movie like Barbie. And so, and it seemed so clear that Greta Gerwig really had a very, very clear idea of what she wanted to say. And so, yeah, the idea of franchising it for a sequel is just like, you're going to just miss the point, unless there is something else to say. Right. that has to be said in a Barbie sequel.

I just don't, it's not about the character. It's not about like, let's put these same characters in a different situation. It is literally about women and men recognizing what this system does to them. How are you going to turn that into a sequel? And it's, you know, and I said this also before we started that, you know, the only way a sequel work is if like in five,

10 years, Greta Gerwig shot up out of bed and said, oh my God, I have a great fucking idea for a sequel to Barbie. and, you know, and made something that, that, or Marga Robbie even, too. She also, shout us her, she wasn't just, like, the lead. She's the one who brought Greta Gerwig into the project. She's the one that, like, she's on it as a producer. She's more than just the lead act. Really? Okay.

So she's part of the creative vision as well. Oh, this whole, this whole thing got saved by her. Really? This movie was licensed by Warner Brothers back when there was a fucking battleship movie, and everybody thought there was going to be a Candyland movie. You know what I mean? It was when there was just a crazy, cash grab for converting dumb toys into movies.

And then it passed through a bunch of different hands. It was going to be bad eight different ways. And then Margo Robbie got attached to the project. Had already had already had like a really good, you know, a conversation, relationship with Greta Gerwig, brought her in on the project. Greta Gerwig brought Noah Baumbach and to co-write it. And signed on to direct. And then Gerwig to sign on direct as well.

So she's just as much part of. what makes this movie happen and great. Past just being the lead actress. And she's like so incredible. I was just thinking about the other day I was thinking about the movie. I was just like, it is so fucking breathtaking

how beautiful she is. It is like so insane. I mean, no one else could be Barbie. Like it's just so, unless it was a totally different kind of movie. Like if it was, uh, Amy who was going to do it? Was it Amy Polar?

Was it, um, anyway, somebody else is going to do it. It was going to be very different Barbie, right? But anyways, I think even more ridiculous before we get into the celebrity conspiracy, I think even more ridiculous is got to be the Polly Pocket movie in the works. Directed by Lena Dunham. And thoughts on Lena Dunham aside.

We can put her side. It's just like there's, like, this is the classic idiot. It's such a misunderstanding of what people like about the movie. It's not because it's a toy from their childhood only. It's a bunch of other stuff, too. Yeah. Like nobody has a canonical lifelong decade, half a century long cultural relationship with Polly Pocket. Well, that's the other thing that's frustrating about people going after Barbie for being quote unquote woke.

It's like because they don't understand any of the history. And by the way, Wisn the Bruiser on Barbie. I'm really proud of that episode. We really get into all that. I feel like it's a perfect companion piece for this movie in so many ways because we cover so many of the head nods that this movie takes. so you'll have a lot more better of a background if you're not already locked it like keyed into the whole Barbie world

and history. And talk about discourse. It's cool that the movie itself is like, oh, you want to do the Barbie discourse? We will within the movie address all the different things about Barbie over the years. Yeah, it's not them injecting wokeness in a Barbie. To talk about Barbie is to talk about this stuff. It has been a part of the conversation forever because she's such a duality. She's this like perfect, annoyingly perfect ideal of a woman who thinks,

class is tough, but then, you know, and all these kind of shitty, like, male gaze things applied to her. And then at the very same time, she went to space before women could have a bank account. Right, right. I don't know if you knew that, but she was an astronaut before, uh, that you could buy as a, one of her career Barbie models before, uh, you could go into a bank and fucking get a fucking checking account as a woman. Like that's, you know, so it's just a fascinating conversation, right?

Right. And Polly Pocket has none of these things going on with it. None of that. And it's so stupid. It's going to be so not the thing. And it's like, again, it's just like a Barbie sequel. It's just not what made people like, yes, it's so lucky that Barbie's such a splashy, a marketable brand that is so, you know, everyone's stressing in the pink to go to the movie.

The visuals are working for it. No question. It's totally working for it. But it's that and. Totally. It's that and the giant cultural conversation around it. Totally. And what Barbie means in 2023 to a lot of mothers and daughters.

Totally. And that's why it's like I keep seeing people being like, you know, I can't believe that this just like Mattel cash grab is being seen as feminist or whatever. And I don't really have a lot of patience for that point of view. But if the takeaway from like producers and studios or whatever is to be like, oh, let's just do other toys, then it is a capitalist cash grab. But it is idiotic. You're completely missing the point of what this, again, the Barbie film.

is about, it so clearly has a very strong idea, a very strong point of view. It is so clearly trying to literally make patriarchy visible when its whole thing is that it's invisible and seems normal. And like all the, it has such a good idea behind it. And I'm sorry, let's like, I actually, until you were describing all the toy franchise movies, it's like, you can't just name a toy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Okay. I think people like the trolls movies. But it's not, there's not like a bigger idea. Right.

There's just nothing. It's just, oh yeah, remember trolls? You can go by that movie, but make that movie, but they're probably going to make a polypocket because it's Lena Dunham. They're going to make a polypocket movie that's like trying to do this and it's just doesn't have the same, the actual brand doesn't have the same way. Who knows? Best of luck to them.

Maybe it'll be fascinating. Maybe it'll be amazing. Yeah. Linda Dunham is a creative person. Maybe she'll have some cool ideas. It seems so cynically decided on. Yes. I think that's, you know what I mean?

It's like, it's literally like, what if we just, it's like, it's like, trying to take the same formula and plug in a different toy. We can't get Greta Gerwig, but we could get Lena Dott. Like, I just see the meeting. I see the shitty. Totally. And they look like the guys that the corporate office in Mattel is like in the Barbie movie. They look like it's all guys.

It's all men in their 50s. Do you remember that fucking Matt Damon movie where he shrunk down into a little band? Everybody had to be small. You know, it's going to be like that. It's just like, what is the point? What is the vision? What creative thing? What meaningful, emotionally resonant thing can you say about Polly Pocket?

Right. I say that as someone with several Polly Pockets in my home right now. One last thing is one of the arguments who's like, it's so woke. They say patriarchy like 20 times in Barbie. All right. It's a joke. Like the whole thing is that the word is being used idiotically because Ken's an idiot. That's the bit.

So he says it a bunch like an idiot. You're an idiot. for saying that because they say that word, it's a, okay, let me explain comedy to you. Comedy, you create like patterns of things so you can play off of that. Anyways, all right, it's Gaylor time. Celebrity Conspiracy, it's Gaylor time.

Have it with a share. Do you believe it? Fucking Gaylor, bro. I'm so glad we're doing a Gaylor one. Of course, it's you and me. We got to do Gaylor. You know what I mean? It's Eras Week.

I mean, it has to happen, okay? This one comes in from an anonymous emailer who writes, Hey, Holden and Gang. knowing you all live for Gaylor as much as I do, I wanted to share a juicy conspiracy about Taylor Swift in a rumored relationship slash fling with Glees' very own Diana Agran. Agrin?

Agrin? Argrin. Argrin, whatever. Swiftcreen is what it's called, which took place before, during, and after the Red era, is the other big ship in the Gaylor community alongside Kaler, which came right after with the 1989 era.

And look, this is all stuff you know, but this kind of blew me away. The actual conspiracy is... I remember we've mentioned the Diana Agron thing, because remember she had a quote in a, like, is this about you or whatever, in an interview? And she was like, didn't confirm or deny. So let's get into it.

So I think even the non-gaylor's, this will be fascinating as a concept, just as an idea. The whole theory involves the 2014 music video of Sam Smith's hit, I know I'm not the only one, which is such a good song. That is such a good song. Which starred Diana Agrin as a housewife

whose husband cheats in her, and how T-Swift's 2018 music video for the Sugar Land collab, titled Babe, which I'd never heard of, and I actually really enjoyed the song, is identical in plot, shooting, cast, timestamps, etc. Of course, there are cases in which productions will copy smaller artists and pass the idea off as their own, but the similarities in this one are pretty eerie

and definitely seem pointed. It was confirmed Taylor presented the treatment for the video herself. The length of the Taylor... All right, so here's some little bits. The length of the Taylor Swift song, Babe, is 334. and the music video adds a whole minute and four seconds making it the exact same length as the Sam Smith video starring Taylor's X.

The story of both music videos is a housewife who sends her husband off to work at the start of the music video and we slowly see it cut between husband cheating with a mistress and the wife getting drunk at home and throwing out his belongings on the street. It is like the same, seriously it's the same music video. Okay. And the idea here, I guess to pique your interest on this,

the idea here is that it's like Taylor Swift making a nod, it's directed towards Zadahagran assuming that she like cheated on Taylor. And so Taylor Swift is fucking masterminded an entire music video to be the same as the other music video that Diana was in as a way to say to Diana and hiding in plain sight,

bitch you cheated on me and I'm fucking mad about it. And honestly, everything else aside, watch the two videos back to back and you will be blown away how identical they are. It is like crazy. Diana plays the mistress in the Sam Smith music video, while in the Taylor music video, the wife is played by the Sugar Land lead singer, who looks a lot like Diana, and Taylor plays the mistress. It is heavily speculated on Swift's relationship was heavily toxic, and the fallout was pretty severe for a few years, not to mention the main

Diana song, Wonderland, apparently everyone speculates that Wonderland on 1989 was placed in the deluxe version, not the main album. Also, Diana has since gotten her Allison Wonderland tattoo removed, which tied her to the song. Basically, people think there was cheating involved between them. Taylor chose to copy the video, like I said, about cheating to send a message. It's hard to convey how this isn't just a case of someone copying a music video idea. The shots are identical and the cuts match exactly the timestamps of the original video. You'd have to play them both simultaneously to see how bonkers this is.

The fact this isn't speculated on outside of Gaylor is mind-boggling to me. also how has Sam Smith not said anything makes me think that Swiftgren is an inside secret in these circles and no one wants to piss off Taylor by calling attention to it I'll attach a couple screenshot compilations of the similarities

I saw those it is so true the idea of Tay being this psychotic is so sexy I don't know what's wrong with me says the writer That's my absolute I'm so glad that the writer said this my absolute favorite part

of all Taylor conspiracies but especially the Gaylor ones and especially this one It ascribes so much, like, evil agency to Taylor in a way that I think is just so, like, is Taylor this all-powerful, incredibly vindictive person? She ends her album with, at Midnights, with a song titled Mastermind in which she talks about how she completely controls every outcome or at least did so with the one guy. I mean, I also, I want to call out a tweet that I saw this morning that said, I want to thank Taylor Swift because these conspiracies are the only thing holding two million white women back from Q&A. And that was about a different Taylor conspiracy. I love that.

But there are, she is such material for conspiracy theories. I think because, you know, of her whole self-cultivated, I'm this masterful one person, you know, I do everything. But I just, I just love that. And I love the. the Gaylor ones so much. I know. I saw Gaylor. This is not the first time I've heard about her and Diana Agri. This is, there's a lot of buzz about it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, tons of buzz. Yeah, I had to do a Gaylor one since it was just right there in front of my face and it was going to be just you and me today. So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed it. And you know me. I believe. There you go. All right, MJ, I think it's time for you to present me with something. Oh, is it time for the list? Oh, who's on the list. M.J. Got to have that list. Hey, it's my list. And This list is pop culture moments that will surprise you.

And so let's see if they surprise you. This is, and people are going to be so mad at me. I'm so sorry, guys. I promise it'll be different soon. I know you're about someone's name again that you're going to write a review about the name. It's inevitably going to read where you accuse us of talking too much about her.

And I get it. I understand it. But she's at the tip of my brain right now. I'm listening to all of her records right now in preparation of her eras. I was watching reputation on Netflix last night. I feel like I'm apologizing my wife right now. I'm just profusely.

I'm so sorry for all of all that I've wrought upon you. I know, but this is all, it's not a Taylor Swift list. Don't worry. It is a pop culture facts list, but she is on the list. And the fact is that her favorite song lyric of all time is, I had some dreams,

they were clouds in my coffee from Carly Simons. So this is not her. favorite song lyric, favorite song lyric of others. This is a line from Carly Simon's 1972 hit, Your So Vane. Swift is a huge admirer of Simon, so much so that she brought her out on her red tour in 2013 to perform Your So Vane.

It was an iconic moment in music, Herstery. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. I fucking love it, man. Beautiful, man. Yeah, that is a fun fact. Now I know what it's like to be Jackie defending the list. This is a fun fact.

How about this fun fact? Lily Tomlin, the ultimate queen of comedy, the legendary Frankie Bergstein from Grace and Frankie, is the voice of Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus. In an interview with Vanity Fair, she said, I was very happy I did it because it was wonderful to play a woman's science teacher. People in our family had small children at the time and they would sit in the living room with me and they'd see Miss Frizzle come on. They'd listen to it, look back at me, and say, now you say it. I did not know this. Yeah, Lily Tomlin's Miss Frisle. Are you a Magic School Bus fan, right?

Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, I haven't watched it since 1995, so I, but I loved it. So Danny Tamborelli, friend of the, you know, friend of the show, Little Pete from Pete and Pete, he came over to do a Twitch stream with me one time, and everybody, he brought up the fact that, you know, he was, because he was a voice on the show, right? And there was this one episode where like a fish, like jizzes all over, like the, it's like such a weird episode where they go into the ocean. and a fish like nuts

and you gotta watch it. It's so funny. We like pulled it up to confirm that it existed and just for dying laughing. So anyways, I just remember that's just a fun extra little factoid

for a magical school bus. If you were a kid in the 90s, I want to say especially at public school, maybe this happened at private school, but if your teacher was absent, you better believe you're watching Magic School Bus that day, or Bill 9. And that was my entire relationship

with Magic Cool Bus. It was like, Instead of teaching today, we are going to watch Magic School Bus. And you know what? I learned a lot. How about this? Tyler James Williams, who plays Gregory on Abbott Elementary, is actually the star of the 2000s TV show Everybody Hates Chris. His iconic frustrated stares on Abbott feels so similar to the ones he made when he was a kid on Everybody Hates Chris.

Another Abbott Elementary actor from your favorite childhood movie TV show, you ask, Lisa Ann Walter, who plays Melissa, is Chessie from the Parent Trow. I don't know fucking Chessie. I don't know fucking Chessie either, but I do know everybody hates Chris. Who's Jessie? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Probably a lot of people give a shit about Chessie, Holden.

We have to be careful. Who knows what Chessie did? I haven't seen the Perotrap also since he came up. How dare you not know about Chessie? Oh my God. You know what's going to happen? The Pope's going to write it. How fucking dare you?

How fucking dare you defend that woman? All right. This next one, I do wish Jackie was here to sing it, but we will co-co-es. without her, especially for her love of musicals. When Zoe Kravitz was a kid and ran errands with her mom, the iconic Lisa Bonnet, Lisa would embarrass her by scream singing the sound of music. Zoe Kravitz said, my mom used to do this really embarrassing thing when I was a kid and we'd be leaving a grocery store and we'd be in the parking lot. She would start singing the sound of music in an opera voice,

Kravitz told Rolling Stone. She just loved how embarrassed I got. She would do something she would think was embarrassing. If I told her, I thought it was embarrassing, and she would start to belt, The Hills are alive. And I'd be like, no. So aren't celebrities just like us? Absolutely. They always are. Except it's Lisa Bonnet and Zoe Cravitz. So just imagine like the two hottest people you've ever seen in this scenario, Zoe Cravitz is an adult. I'm picturing Lisa Bonnet trying to embarrass adult Zoe Cravitz. All right, actors Nicole Kidman. This is some page seven bait right here. Actors Nicole Kidman,

Katie Holmes, and Mimi Rogers were at one time or another married to Tom Cruise. The fun fact, they were all 34 years old when they got divorced from Cruz. That's the limit.

I wonder if that is his like arrested development thing. Yes, I included, I felt like we needed to include this because it might be another piece of information we need in unlocking the mystery around Tom Cruise. What's going on?

Well, they always say you're locked into the age in which you became famous. So what was his first risky business, right? Was 1983? Yeah, he must have been so much younger than that. 1983, he was born in 1962. So he got famous at 21 years old. So if you're 34 and you're with an emotional 21-year-old,

that's when you start, you see the facade to start to crack, my friend. And then also he's fucking, every time you walk in, he's got a cod on his boat. It's hard to, that's probably the age that they decide. you know what, I don't need to be married to a man who fucks fish. Yeah, exactly. And also, there's so much symbolism around women in the year 35, because that's when they all get told that they're worthless

and that their biological clock is ticking. Well, I feel pretty worthless, too, if I walked into a darkened room and I saw my husband with a fucking Baramundi up his beehole. You know what I mean? I'd be having a hard time with that as well, you know? Well, he just needs to find a fish who will never get older than 34. There you have it.

All right. This is fun. Santana was so high on LSD during his performance at the Woodstock Festival in 1969, he thought his guitar neck was a snake. In an interview, Santana recalled, the neck of the guitar started wavering like a snake. And I was like, uh-oh, I just started making faces because I was trying to keep it tame, you know? There you come. There you have it.

That's just the most old man, hippie, dumb thing to say. I know. And all their shit was bad. Actually, never mind. The LSD was good. The weed was bad. they had really good LSD. They had actual LSD.

So maybe they would. But, you know, as a person who's used psychedelics, the first thing you learn is like, you hallucinate, but you don't, I don't know, maybe I've just never, I have never done acid, so I guess that's my admission. And sometimes people say they see things,

but it's a lot more like, for me, it's a lot more emotional. And like, it's just like, you just see visuals or just kind of the melting of the world around you. But I don't, like, you know, Lexi's fingers don't turn into worms or whatever. You know what I mean?

Like, that's never happened. But again, I haven't gone all the way to the moon like some people have. You just don't have that Carlos Santana stuff. And this is the last item on the list because I think that our people will like it. All of the men who filmed sex scenes with Kim Cottrell on Sex in the City wore a cup over their peepee so that nothing would show on the screen. The cups were labeled KC for Kim Cottrell. Why? So they called them KC cups.

KC cups. Was it just Kim? None of the other actresses needed a cot piece, just Kim? I mean, this list did not specify, but yeah, I mean, certainly she was the one with the most, like, sex scenes

and the most potential peen. Most promiscuous one, for sure. Yeah, but what did Miranda's, you know, what did Cynthia Nixon's cups say? Did they say CN cups, or were they all KC cups? And maybe that's why her- I think they said F. Casey for fuck Kim Katrout. Apparently there were so many issues.

shoes on the set. Maybe that's why they're mad. Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Contrell are mad at each other because Sarah Jessica Parker wrote an app. I think the other Cups said no to the he dogs. Some Cups had wink at all the she dogs written on it, I believe, is

April headed. I'm not going to make April play the Kim Cotrell Skadding every time we mentioned Kim Cottrell. But we could introduce that on this show. She can play. April, please play Kim Contrell Scatty. Thanks, April. Sederay for Kibo, wind dog Latin, he quotes. UJ.

Safer, Sarai! Well, he bit all the he dogs and winked at all the she dogs. The town never knew such a hollabaloo as that little dog raised till the end of that day. And that's my list. All right. Well, the sound of that made me, yeah, that's right. I think I'm going. Blind.

Items. Oh, I can't see them. The one named permanent A-plus list celebrity had her falling out with the mogul earlier this year and it didn't take her long to hook up with the wealthy bookseller to get a bunch of money from him for programming.

No one will watch. Okay. This is gonna be harder, right? Because it's just you, right? Oh, God. The pressure is on. Let's break it down. Okay.

One name permanent A-plus list celebrity. Beyonce. No. Rihanna. No. Think not singer. think one named A-plus list permanently from when we were young. A huge...

When we were young. Yeah, not a tell, not a tell, though. Not a tell. Oh, God. Okay, she's not a singer. She had her own everything, magazine, show, you name it. Oprah. Yes.

Come on, who's the bookseller? I mean, it's absurd to say bookseller in this day and age, but... Amazon? Who runs that? Oh, Bezos? Yeah, yeah. And she had a falling out with the mogul earlier this year, so it didn't take her long to hook up with Bezos.

Oprah did. Do you know who Oprah might have had a falling out with? This was a little tougher, big music producer who got into movies and everything else. But I might just have to spell this one out for you. Yeah, give me... I'll give it to you. Just David Geffen is the third.

Oh, yeah, I would not have that. So Oprah had to fall out with David Geffen, and now she's banging Bezos. Wow. Yeah, dude. Banging in a career way. And you did mention Beyonce. She was actually recently seen at the Beyonce concert.

Beyonce puts her celebrity guest, by the way, on this pedestal, like up on this high balcony, but it's in the middle of the floor. Like, it's so weird. So they're on display in this way. That's kind of interesting, but fun because no one can touch them, you know? So that's kind of fun. Beyonce was in Jersey. this past weekend and I was extremely, extremely fomoing seeing people's pictures.

I would love to go. I feel like until I become a lot richer, I can't have to choose one. Like, I can't go. I mean, I would be going to Black Pink, Beyonce, all the big ticket stuff, if I could. I feel insane for how much money I spend on just two Swift tickets for the worst seats ever. For a very big life event, this foreign-born permanent A-list singer from a permanent A-list group decided to have sex in a public bathroom, something he had not done in over a decade. He's old, he's known for all the kids he's made, and he's a big, in a big old rock band. Mc Jagger. 80th birthday celebrated until 3 a.m. alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, Lenny Kravitz.

A couple of his kids were there, and he's banging in the bathroom, baby. I wonder if he ripped a line of blow cane in the process. I love this for Mick Jagger, because the experience for many of us of aging is that we can't do the same things we used to do when we were young. And that just seems to have not happened to him. And what a blessing for him. We're happy. We love it. I saw a picture of him. I mean, he definitely looks old as all hell, but he still looks like he's thriving, marching into this party. How many times over should he be dead right now? How is his liver still functioning? I mean, the real one is Keith Richards, right? I mean, that guy, I mean, if you've read his autobiography, you're just absolutely in shock that he still exists on this planet. I mean, that guy lived on a cocktail of cocaine and

heroin for for fucking several several years yeah he was just insane i mean their parties were insane like they just the description of how the tear they went through america in the 70s just fucking up hotel rooms left and right just insanity man i love it though yes we're happy to that's what i mean i mean they're definitely i mean she made too many kids oh but imagine just banging an 80 year old in the bathroom i know right jagger it's fine well who knows maybe he's banging some 90-year-old broad, who knows? Maybe some 90-year-old brought the tits. I don't know. You never know.

All right, here you go. The wife of the actor already got the first kid out of the will. I'm not sure the point of having another child unless she just really loves saying the word, Ocho. Hilaria? Hilaria. Did Hilaria get Ireland Baldwin bounced off the will? And are they going to have another kid?

The article that it's linked to, I will say, by the way, is headlined. Laria Baldwin jokes about having 11 more kids with Alec an anniversary post. Whoa. Blow my brains out. Now I'm looking to see if there's any other stories about Ireland and the will. But, oh, Ireland Baldwin must hate Hilaria, right? I would maybe think that's a lot of kids to kind of shut you out of existence with your dad.

There isn't Us Weekly from just a few months ago, May 23. Alec Baldwin and daughter Ireland Baldwin's ups and downs over the years. So I think that they've had a bit of a rocky one. And, yeah, you know, having a stepmom who is like not all that much older than you would be a little bit weird. And having seven new siblings within like seven years. Yeah. And the part where she's pretending to be a Hispanic woman. The part where she's pretending to be a Hispanic woman is weird.

Yeah, there's just a lot that's weird. A lot that's weird. Never stopped being weird. MJ, you made it. The only one you didn't get was David Gaffin and I took pity on you. Yeah, you got through all the blinds. Wow, can you see? I can't.

I can absolutely see it. I see that we've made it to the end of our show. Is it amazing? We did it. Now, let's see how people feel about the amount of Taylor Swift that was mentioned in this show. I know. Can I just say it's a particularly special week for it? Yes, that's the thing is true.

I'm running things with the articles and everything, and MJ's, or Jackie, rather, is away. You get your week. So the Tay-Tays will play. I get my week. We didn't talk about our kids that much. We could have done that way more. We'll probably will at the leftovers. We'll talk about the leftovers.

Thank you so much for bearing with a Jackie-less episode. We hope you enjoyed it. I was up for the challenge. I know MJ was too. Jackie will be back next week. Absolutely. She's doing great. She's thriving, but she's got a lot of work to do.

And we want to give her that space and time to get that work done. Thanks so much again, everyone, for hanging out with us. If you'd like to support us further, patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. That's patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. We do weekly bonus episodes. We do The Leftovers. I'm doing it with MJ today. We'll recover any article that we didn't cover in the show.

We have lots to talk about. Apparently, Kim Jong-Ouns terrified that K-pop's going to destroy North Korea, which is my favorite headline I read this week. I was like, I want to get one of my friends who's like a four policy person to explain this to me because I get it. I totally get it. It's going to take fun. They're seeing how much fun everyone's having on the other side of the fence and they're like, hey, wait a second. It looks like it's very like colorful and fun over there. And everyone's like got fun hairstyles and they're all singing and like everyone's like really like enjoying their lives.

He literally said the haircuts. The haircuts are part of the threat. Yeah, that's totally a part of it. It's the whole thing. It's literally like Pleasantville. They're like seeing that it's like colorful and the other. It's like black and white where they're at. They're like, I want what someone would think. We'll talk about it the leftovers. But anyways, and also, Jackie does her readings. We've, and then for $10 a month, you can join us on Discord for our Jersey hang, watch long on Thursdays. So check that out as well, Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. You can check me out, Twitch.tv. forward slash Holdenaders ho. I'm holdingators ho on Twitch. Monday through Friday streams. Friday, I do check them with the holdies. It's always a blast. M.J. joined us this last time, and it was amazing.

Oh, my God. Such a good time over there. And page 7 podcast at gmail.com for any, you know, if you have conspiracies, shoutouts, all that good stuff. Last Podcast Network.com is for our tour tickets. Release the butthole cut is coming back in September and October. We're hitting the southeast. We're hitting the Rust Belt. I finally said it in the right context.

So definitely check us out on that as well. M.J. My name is MJ and I'm MJ K. cat on Instagram. Thanks everybody. Have a good one. We'll talk to you soon. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.