Page 7 - Ep. 505: The Crucifixion of Holden Episode

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

Page 7 is back from vaca and while Holden isn't blastin' liquid brown we're gossin' bout the passing of Jimmy Buffet AND Steve from Smash Mouth, Jackie FINALLY joining the Croc family, an old man (Holden) yells about teenage hairstyles (looking at you Broccoli Heads), why is everyone divorcin' in 2023!? Holden lays out his plan for reproductive rights for "people" under 25, Last Podcast on the Left makes it into USA Today, Eras headin' to the theaters, Kanye and Bianca's oral adventure on a boat in Venice (which resulted in a lifetime ban), Burning Man becoming a 7 square mile open air toilet and In Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Is Doja Cat Playing the Long Game?? An origin story filled List, da Blindz and the SHOUTZZZ and MOREEEE! Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's time for more. Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser present, release the butthole cut tour coming to you in September and October. Where are we heading in September, Jackie? We're going on September 12th. We're going to Nashville. We're going on September 13th to Atlanta, Georgia. And then I're going back to my hometown, September 14th of Tampa, Florida. In October, October 3rd, we're going to be in Detroit, Michigan, October 4th. We're going to be in Columbus. And October 5th, we're going to be in Pittsburgh. Nights. And Wizard of the Bruiser Brzeet. Release the Butthole Cut Tour. You can find tickets at last podcast network.

Dot com, baby. Like mine with lettuce and tomato. It's 57 and fresh fried potatoes. Big kosher pickle. And a cold draft beer. Why don't you look sad enough? We're back from break. Look more sad.

Jimmy Buffett is dead. Vacation. couple weeks. Do you realize what a rough time Florida has been having, and I'm not even talking about the fucking Santis, okay? The trans people fleeing the state in droves. Yeah, they've been having a rough time for a while, and they've been having a particularly hard last couple of weeks, okay?

Everyone, I just want to say thank you so much for the people that have reached out, asking about our family, everybody's good in Florida. I appreciate you looking out. Yeah, we're also back from vacation. All right. Oh, are we having a grumblies today? Oh, is it a grumblies?

I'm very glad. I'm very glad. I'm thankful to you for going with Cheeseburger and Paradise. I, for one, don't enjoy it when musicians, celebrities die, but I do enjoy the retrospective of the music. And Jimmy Buffett's, the fact that every single Jimmy Buffett song is as detailed as Cheeseburger in Paradise. Like everyone is different and yet everyone is the same. And that's just something that I, it's an infinite catalog. If you like this song, you will like his thousands of other songs that are exactly the same.

I just think it's fantastic. My favorite about this whole thing is everybody has only been concerned about hitting a margaritaville. Like there's been no talk about in our like friend texts or whatever. There's no talk about anyone remembering a specific song. He's a prolific songwriter. He's written a lot, you know, more than just Cheeseburger Paradise and stuff. There's so many, he's really written

a lot of incredible music in his day. Yeah, but we were talking about where do you go to mourn and that is Margaritaville. And that is Margaritaville, which I did. And shockingly, not as packed as you would think on the day of Jimmy Buffett's death. I heard, I heard it wasn't that crazy.

I had to hang out with the rents, so I wasn't able to go. But I did end up weirdly enough eating at a Margaritaville on my way out of Cancun. I had a chicken Caesar salad because I was gut sick, but I knew I needed to get a couple leaves in my stomach for the flight. Oh, yes, you got all that anchovy dust all up in your crevices? It was not good, and it was very upsetting,

and the guy kept making jokes about how I should put some Jack Daniels in my Pepsi, and I just wanted to throw up so bad. How are you doing? How are your insides fair and all? So rough, dude. I cannot believe I'm still diarrhea shitting constantly. I will say the trip wasn't ruined by whatever I got from Cancun. It happened right at the end.

But yeah, it was pretty brutal, dude. I ate something. No, I don't even think I ate. I think there's a worm in me or something. Don't say that because someone recently just they found a worm around her brain. I'm telling you, I got a worm around my something. I got, there's a worm in there somewhere. all I'm saying, all right?

Don't say that. That is, monsters inside me. It still haunts me to this day. That goddamn television show. It's all about, you don't know what kind of bugs can just crawl inside of you and turn your corpse into their nest. All I know, I, what I love is that underneath all of the, you know, the articles talking about Jimmy Buffett, which, oh, my God, you're so, you know, all of us, too. I was at a party filled with, like, people a little bit older than me and everyone just, but we were always saying the same thing. We were like, he was so young.

He was so young. It's like, I mean, he was 76, but like to us, and I'm happy that he would, that in our brain, he was so young because he just seemed so full of margarita life. Right. But you know what? He stopped drinking margaritas a long time ago. Really? Insider information. He's sober?

No, no. He just drinks. He just doesn't drink margaritas anymore. He drinks like tequila sodas with limes. Right, right. It's the acidity, I'm guessing. And, you know, it was just too much sugar. Yeah, too much sugar.

But, yeah, but of course he went out the way we all would have expected, right, for a true man named Jimmy Buffett who wrote all those songs. I mean, it was skin cancer. The sun kissed him too much. The only thing I can hope is that our loss of Jimmy Buffett at least inspires some people to put on sunscreen. Indeed. If you're going to be a parent,

You put on sunscreen. Get that sunscreen on, okay? Because you know a lot of those Margaritavilles are roofless. Okay? They have no... The sun is just free falling on them. And at a ridiculous rate. Forg of Tom Petty and this too and then make me doubly sad.

He died too. So to the smash mouth guy. Oh, my God. Oh, this is... It's been quite a week for, can we say rock and roll? Yeah. Somebody fucking figure out where Sugar Ray is right now and put him in like one of those booths

where no one can get to him. Oh my God, it'll be the Ray in the bubble. I mean, I'm very sad for the smash mouth guy as well, but I don't know if we should put him in the same category as Jimmy Buffett. No, surely not, but he really was, you know, he wrote that song and Shrek came out. You know what is Shrek?

Yeah, and what is Shrek? It's been meaned all over the place. Yeah. What is Shrek without this song? You know what I mean? I mean, what is, yeah. So it's important. It's important culturally as well.

For sure. That's the thing. That's the difference. Jimmy Buffett, everyone's like probably thinks he just has like those couple of songs about drinking margaritas and eating cheeseburg. How dare you? Whereas he really has written a ton of great songs and written a lot of songs for other people as

well that you might not realize was him. But smash mouth guy really just wrote like those two hit songs. You know, walking on the sun and, and All-Star. Those are the two that he did that people like. But also Jimmy Buffett, like there's much of his music that I have definitely, I may have had a couple of bruise

while sitting on a pier, but have brought many a tear. Just sitting, sipping, looking out at the beach. And maybe this is just, you know, coming from your resident Floridian here. But, I mean, you got to cry to Jimmy every once in a while.

Hell yeah. And I love the Jimmy Buffett Christmas album too. I listen to that multiple times every year. Gives me a little bit of nice cheer. I mean, it's so sad because Florida is having a hard time. And honestly, the face of Florida is and should continue to be Jimmy Buffett. You know, Desantis move over. It has always been Jimmy Buffett.

And that's as a non-Floridian who loves Florida, it is like if people said, why would you love Florida? I would say everything represented by Jimmy Buffett, you know. And so to lose him now, when Florida is really losing itself, you know, who's going to keep him in line? Did you take a shot out of your gibbets, MJ? I wanted to. That TikTok of the person taking a shot out of their gibbets to mourn Jimmy Buffett was very, very good. Problem is I have removed the gibbets from my Margaritaville Crocs because they are so, I'm not even going to say useless.

they are actively harmful. It's like we have crossed the line from these aren't helpful to these are actually making it unsafe for me to walk around New York City. If I lose a gibbet in the middle of the street, someone's going to die, you know? So I don't even know where those gibbets are. And I'm not holding that against Jimmy Buffett. You know, I hope he got that crock cash. Well, he could. And I hope that it helped.

I hope it helps the fam. I do have a confession to make. It's not my fault. But I have joined the Crox family. Wow. I don't want to blame bucket hats, but I will say bucket hats. It was a slippery slope. Oh, it was a slippery slope.

I thought the whole thing with your yearly fashion, it was like this fashion forward kind of, you're just becoming like a. A zoomer. This is, yeah. That, I mean, I'm staying hip to the trends. Crocs are fashion. words, hold it.

Unfortunately, like it or not? Fashion for it or fashion giving up? That is not fashion giving up. Have you looked at TikTok recently? Right, right. The children are into comfort now, not my children, but the teens are into comfort. And, you know, the wide teens don't, it seems, correct me if I'm wrong, young people, but it seems like they don't want to show their bodies.

They want to wear very wide leg pants. and they want to part their hair down the middle and they want to wear extremely comfortable shoes. Yes. And I don't blame them for it. And I didn't buy the crocs. Henry purchased them for me. And he got me Lil Nas X Crocs.

And I feel very hip in them. And yes, I have weed leaf gibbits. And it's everything I ever wanted. You are judge. I see the judge in your face. You just reminded me. You just reminded me. You just reminded me.

You just reminded me, yeah. lately every time I see kids on the street. First of all, the broccoli haircuts got to go, guys. I don't get it. I don't like it. You're old. You are so old. The broccoli head is so dumb.

And it is such a, it's the new sign of the douchebag. If you have the broccoli head, you are, stay away from that kid. He's going to try to do something for attention on TikTok. He's going to try to, he's going to like jump into a aquarium pool that he shouldn't be in for, for likes. And it's, I hate it. And it makes me annoyed. But also, you're right, they're all wearing slides, and they're all wearing, like, the most baggy, crazy ladies guys. It doesn't matter.

The ladies tend to want to wear something, like, really maybe a little more, like, on the top, on the top half, a little more, like, tight and revealing. Like, it's weird. It's like. Tight on bottom, baggy on top, or baggy on top, tight on bottom. Yes, it's like you make a choice. One has to be super baggy, and then the other one has to be very, like, completely. It's like a Mr. Potato Head. This is the generation of Mr. Potato Head with the broccoli head.

Broccoli head, Mr. Potato Head. It's fine. Live your fucking life. But the broccoli hair right now, to me, it's like, oh, that kid's going to be annoying. Old Man River. I hate that haircut. We all think that we're going to be such cool parents. Those are the boys that are like, I'm too cool to do anything unless it's like for likes on TikTok.

And I hate that kid. What did you say, MJ? I said we all think we're going to be cool parents, you know, who aren't out of touch. And it's just not true. Right. We're going to, our kids are going to despise us. There's no way it can happen. Yeah.

There's no way it can happen. Yeah. It can happen. You can be fashion forward if you wish. But also. I'm not getting broccoli hair, bro. I don't care what you say. I think you'd look great with broccoli.

No. It looks awful. I'd roast you up. Ooh, I'd put a becha male on you and then we'll call you bestia hell. I get to Vito one fashion trend right now. Fuck it. Crocs are fine. I love the baggy thing.

I'm jealous of the baggy thing. I wish we had that growing up. You know what I mean? You guys talk about how totally just like traumatized you were by the weird pants that they made women wear back when we were, you know, young. Don't even bring up low-rise jeans. Yeah, the low-rise jeans. Like, God knows. It's like the opposite of that, which I fucking love.

But, yeah, the broccoli head thing is so dumb looking. and I know we're going to look back. You know when you're in a fashion trend and you're just like, I know we're going to look back of this and be like, wow, what the fuck were we collectively thinking? Do you just mean an undercut? Are you talking about maybe?

I mean, this is a thing. You might be so... But it's got to have the big curly, goofy dumb fuck thing happening. It's not just a shave sides. But it also has to have this it's this very specific douchebag haircut and every time you see it on a kid,

they are most likely being a douchebag. I don't know if you've noticed, but like every TikTok video where a boy is being a douchebag for likes, he has that haircut on the streets in the wild. I think you're too busy hate watching on the talk, man. Those are the guys, no, no, no, but also in the wild. Those are the gut boys that are doing annoying things

to try to make girls like that. They're around. This is L.A. There's a bunch of shitty kids running around. Teenagers and smoke cigarettes again. I'm tired of this. with your vape. Smote some fucking cigarette 16 year old kid.

Did you realize this platform that you are choosing for yourself right now? You're better than this. Smoke a frail a fucking pack of, you know, camel lights. On that note, we're doing live shows here pretty soon,

guys. And don't you want to see pro-cigarette hold and me live on stage? You'll quit when you're... He'll give you a cigarette. Quit when you're 20. You'll give your teen a cigarette.

But anyways, yeah, we're coming to Nashville, Atlanta, and Tampa in September, 12, 13th, and 14th. That's next week. Join us dogs. Nashville, Atlanta, Tampa next week. And then in early October, we're going to Royal Oak, Michigan, Columbus, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. My mother was born in Royal Oak. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude.

Oh, my God. That is crazy. That's insane. Specifically, she was born in the comedy castle in Royal Oak. Which didn't say that's exactly where we're performing, which is wild. Yes, I hope to feel your gamma's juices. Oh, right. Come on.

I'll say the juices are alive on the stage. Good Lord. Can back me up listeners on the broccoli head thing, man? Because I think I've got something here. Because, you know, every generation they have a tell for a thing they look like where you know they're immediately a douchebag. You know what I mean? And that's this generation. You're just talking about young people's hairstyles, Holden.

Young kids have been having this hairstyle since 2016 at least. And so you're literally just being like, you know, the haircut that all the assholes have. You mean the haircut that all the young people have. It's just young people, Holden. That's the common denominator here. You hate you. And it's okay because it has slipped through your fingers. And we get it.

It has slipped through mine as well. I have had the same haircut since I was a child. You can set your watch by that cut. And you know what? I'm not going around to Bass Pro fishing shops jumping into the aquarium for Facebook TikTok likes. Maybe you should. Maybe it might lighten you up a little bit. I don't want it.

They have to clean the whole tank out because your oils and stuff mess up the whole pH or something system of the fish tank. Okay. So kids could just stop jumping in the damn aquarium tanks for two seconds. I mean, Lord. scrooged right now. I bet you're also like actually genuinely happy that Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner are getting a divorce. Dude, it is the reckoning year, bro. And that's a lot of Joe's too. There's three Joes, I believe, that all got divorce-ed. You've got Joe Alwyn, Joe Jonas, and what was Ariana Grande's ex I think is also named Joe. But also Joe Mangonello. Yeah, I'm going to say,

Sophia. Maybe that's the one I'm thinking of. What's her name's guy? It's the Joe, it's the Joe Magadden over here. They're all in. If you're a name Joe and you're married, you're going to want to go make a candlelight dinner for your spouse tonight. Yeah. Do something nice. Do something extra. I think Arianna isn't it Dalton? Actually, I was totally off.

Yeah, you were thinking of the other Joe, the Joe. Yeah, yeah. I saw a tweet about it. If you're named Joe and you're in a relationship right now, bro, you got to fucking watch yourself, dude. Get through 2023. But everybody, I saw, I meant to send you guys the tweet, somebody compiled the really long. list of divorces that are going on in 2023. It's wild. I wonder if it's just the amount of

time since after quarantine. Yeah, it's the same. It's like, oh, we spent a bunch of time together and that was a lot of fun. Or it was really bad for your relationship. I think it's kind of one or the other. And I wonder if it's now just trying, finally starting to settle in to their funds. There was the version of the relationship that was in pandemic and the version outside of pandemic. Sophie Turner's been with Joe Jonas since she's 19 years old.

So I think that there's also like maybe it's just time for her to go try something else out and like she's just changed into a different person, which there's a lot of change that happens between 19 and what is she? Why can't we as a society? Now that we have the science for brain development, why don't we as a society all decide

you cannot get married until your brain is finished developing? I was going to, we're about to get another white hot take from Holden over here about the youth. Everybody buckle up. Don't let young people get married. What's the age? What's the age where your brain stops developing? Or at least you should not be able to get the broccoli haircut to your brain stops developing.

What is that? 24. And then you can get the broccoli haircut. Well, you can't rent a car until you're 25, which I actually think that's... Insane. That's one of the times where I'm going to say that that's a good rule in terms of brain development. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.

cars are big killing machines, but everybody needs them to get around, so maybe 18-year-old should be able to get them. But that does seem like the one part of society where we have recognized that you need a bigger brain before you make certain big decisions, like with a big, fast vehicle that can kill people.

I need all the brain scientists, though, to write in. What is it, 25, right? Isn't it that when... I think it's 25. When, like, technically, for all intents and purposes, that's when your brain stops, like when it's fully matured. But again, I know that there are a, oh my God, a gaggle of brain scientists that listen to page 70. Can we get some of it?

Just a small handful, a small select section of brain scientists to listen to this podcast. Please write in and let us know what your thoughts on this brain development thing. But I do think, but it is funny that you can make a lifelong commitment to someone where you like put all of your money everything into it. You can do all this years before you're allowed to rent a car for a weekend. I mean, what are we doing? You know what I mean? But anyway, you could also have a child hold in due. I know. That shouldn't be impossible too. If you don't like that, wait until you find out at what age people can reproduce

because it is shocking. It's unbelievable, man. It is shocking. And I don't think that's a good idea either. 25 and then you undo the vasectomy. Yeah. Oh, we're going on for sterilization. route, that's good. Yep, no problem. This is not at all. It's bringing it in. Holden, Holden's just tired from this vacation. I need a vacation for my vacation. He's got grumpies. I don't know if you've noticed.

By the way, before you write it, upset with me, I'm joking, Odden's joking, I mean, the broccoli thing, whatever, but the Holden's joking, Holden's joking. MJ's joking too. MJ's joking too. Holden doesn't really believe in sterilizing certain groups. actually joking. Go on FJ. Yes. No, you can be you can be mad at me for saying that

we shouldn't sterilize whole Hipson. But you reverse it. I do take it too far sometimes. You know what I mean? You reverse it. You know what I mean? You reverse it. Yeah, just like that song. Yeah, yeah. Is it Miss Yelliot? That's what Miss Elliot was talking about.

That's the great thing about it, right? I mean, I think The ladies would probably love it a little bit if we did that. Jesus. You have to worry about some dude fucking leaving you with a... Do you have anything more to say about Jimmy Buffett? What are you doing? Yeah, you know, I did want to bring up the fact that the last podcast on the left, yes, we are...

Yeah, wow. Our flagship show here on the network, the last podcast network, was in USA Today. And look at this talk about a croc-c-c-c-c-crossover. Right? I took that from Wizard and the Bruiser that I stole it. And now it's our thing. And you can't have it back. So if you say it ever again, you owe me $20.

Every time you say it. All right. So apparently they were doing an interview with Ken Jennings, who is the new, I was about to say, you can't just say he's the new Alex Trebek. But you know what I mean if I say he's the new Alex Trebek. And he was talking about a talking to Alex Trebek the day. before he died and essentially Alex Trebek was like giving him information, like, advice, and they had this like real heart to heart, but apparently Ken Jennings hadn't talked about this anywhere else. So it ended up being this like groundbreaking story of like Ken Jennings

opens up about last moments with Alex Trebek when like they just were like having or, like they weren't trying to get groundbreaking information from Ken Jennings. And I don't know of Ken Jennings was trying to give the groundbreaking information. But isn't that kind of fun? They were in USA Today. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, look at us, a breaking news network over here. Yeah, yeah.

They say, he gave me the impression he always did over the years, which is that he did not want to be the center of attention of Jeopardy. He was never announced as the Star of Jeopardy. He was the host of Jeopardy because he thought the game itself and the contestants should be the star, which is very sweet. But you see, I also ended up talking to him on what turned out to be the night before the day he passed away and guest hosting for him.

We thought, oh, he's going to get better, he's going to bounce back, he'll be hosting again. I was just going to fill in. So sweet and sad. And, yeah. Apparently, Alex Trebek was a lot more fun than people might have perceived. He said during commercials,

he would tell jokes, go into the crowd. He loved to warm up the crowd himself and do little impressions. He was a very light, funny guy. I love that, too, because I, listen, I absolutely love Jeopardy. I love Alex Trebek. but like also part of what is so lovable about it

was that his like short little interviews with each guest I wouldn't call them like plotting but I would say that they were like they were and I wouldn't call them stilted what word am I looking for they were just like I was always just kind of like are we all gonna get through this okay? A little stiff. A little stiff. A little stiff. For sure.

Yeah and it wasn't hit it was just he was I wouldn't call Alex Trebek like a loose cannon you know I think he played it pretty close to the best. And what if he was a loose canon, though? Like, what if it was just like, oh, you don't know what's going to shoot out of that mouth? Yeah, I mean, I feel like the whole thing with why SNL's, you know, Celebrity Jeopardy was so satisfying is because Will Ferrell really captured Alex Trebeck's, like, real commitment to keeping on track. Yes, it's the ultimate straight man at the end of the day. Yeah, for sure.

Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Now, it's just going to be, it's just a drop a te, all right? It's just a drop-a-day because we do need to bring up the fact that there is this, like, you know, record-breaking concert movie. Oh, I didn't even know. I'm just talking about. I didn't even know. I don't know. Because I got us tickets to go see.

I was puking and shitting in Cancun the day we were leaving, unfortunately. But at least the rest of the trip was very awesome and I had a great time. But on the last day, I literally in a total sickly hate. texted Jackie and said, please God get us tickets to this. At like 6 a.m. my time, by the way. I was like, please, for love of God, get us tickets to this.

I'm too sick to do it. And Jackie came through and I really appreciate it. We're going to get fucked for this, by the way. It's the middle of the day on a Saturday, too. Oh, yeah. I'm getting fucking lit for this thing, dude. It is. So for those of you that don't know,

Taylor Swift is releasing eras as a concert movie that is going to be exclusively in A, I think exclusively it's like a deal She did with AMC. It's kind of amazing. She would pitch her. They filmed it at SoFi Stadium.

It was outside of the strike laws or whatever. So it was condoned by SAG and everything like that, by the way, to get this thing made. And then she... That's good to know, actually. And then she shopped it to streamers and the deals all sucked

that they were offering. So they were like, fuck it. We'll put in our own money to distribute this thing in movie theaters. I want to see more of this. I actually got to do one of these. It was Fish's quote unquote last concert. They continued to tour after this, but they were like, stop.

They were going on an indefinite hiatus, and they did a live feed of their last concert in movie theaters, and I went with my brother, and it was fucking awesome. We got into like a glowstick war during Divided Sky, which is like what you do. It was such a fun movie theater experience, and so I'm really, really excited to, I feel so bad for anyone trying to see a movie in the theater that weekend, by the way, that is not this.

Well, that's why Blumhouse made a very difficult decision and decided that the new Exorcist movie that is coming out was supposed to originally be released on October 13th, which is the day that the Ares Tour is also being released. So they moved it up a week. Good call. Because they didn't want to compete with it. And it was like, so smart. Yeah. But, like, how pissed off must they have been when they saw that this was coming down the pipes of the field? Are you fucking kidding me?

Although, people wanted Taylor's Sist or whatever is I think what they were calling. Taylor Siss. Or Swifter Sist. They wanted a new Harmanheimer and they thought that was going to be it. And everybody was going to get all hype on. Honestly, I would love Swifter Sists. I might do Swifter Sists anyway. I know.

I would totally, maybe we'll get, maybe we'll do a double feature. We'll start with Ares. We're seeing it at 3.30 in the after. We're going to be hammered. I want to get shit house for this anyways. Oh, you're taking an Uber. Yes. We're taking an Uber.

We're taking many edibles. Oh, yeah. Friendship bracelets. I hope you're in our theater. And, you know, I know there's going to be a bunch of obnoxious young ladies and whatnot there. But I want to out obnoxious them, Jackie. I want to out broccoli haircut them with our obnoxiousness. If you want to do it, I say you get the haircut.

How do I get the? Who are you going to get the haircut? the haircut. Go to Sonia. Go to our friends. I have this haircut. It's literally just an undercut and then you foof it up. I've literally had a broccoli haircut since 2016 when my middle schoolers had them in 2016

and I was like, you guys look cool. And that's how cool I am. I think you're very cool MJ. I think you're very cool, MJ. It's definitely out of the three of us Holden is by far the least cool of the three of us. I'm a Swifty who loves Street Fighter. I've got no one

likes that. No one wants that. No one wants that. No. Nobody. It was hilarious. I was in the Uber on the way home. That's true. Everybody's really confused by you.

I was in the Uber on the way home from the airport, from Lax. And we get in and he's like, do you want me to change the music? And Tovlo was on. We're like, no, we love Tovlo. Like, he was like, oh, man, nobody usually even knows my music. You know what I mean? This is great. It's like my personal playlist.

And we were talking. Then a little ways later, I was like, he's in a pop, you know? So, what, you a swift? He made, per chance. He was like, oh, no. are you? And then he just proceeded to like take a fat shit on Taylor Swift. It was so funny.

But he had me crack it up. It was in a funny way. Open the door and shove you out of the car. He told us great stories. Like apparently all the Uber drivers band together during the Aeros weekend to not take anyone to SoFi Stadium that weekend because everyone was so obnoxious and like awful. And yeah, yeah. He said he took one like group of girls and their drunk dad.

And it was like a horrible experience. that everybody, all the Uber drivers are like, no, we're not going to SoFi. We're not doing it. By the way, L.A., one of the only places where it shows you exactly where the person wants to go. I didn't know this. In L.A., because in L.A., there's so many Uber drivers that they, first of all, there's no minimum on how many passengers you need to take for a ride like there are in other places. And in L.A., one of the few places where it actually shows you ahead of time where the person wants to go.

So that's why maybe you're experiencing some selective issues when you want to go somewhere that maybe isn't the most ideal. Isn't that fun? I got the inside in from this guy. We actually had a really good Uber driver, even though he shat. Man, he ruthlessly shat on Taylor Swift. It was so funny.

So funny. Man, I just can't hear you talking about that without thinking about you on the toilet, though. Now just going to, like, leave, let me stop. Luckily, weirdly enough, the car ride to the airport, and the car ride from the airport that day, that was not the nauseous time or the shitting time. Luckily, I was like, my body weirdly or someone up,

someone out there, Christ, or whoever it was, said, nigh, yon't will shite inside your apartment room, and not in the airplane, which was covered in wet. That's nice. Yeah, it would have been bad if I had to. It was a united flight. It would have been rough. I thought about you, because.

I saw some TikTok that was talking about a plane that had to turn around. They were in an overseas flight and they had to turn around and fly back to Atlanta because someone diarrheaed so much that it all came up out of the toilet and it was going down the aisle and it became a bio. Oh my God. It became a biohastom. Oh, my God. Jackie, why did you tell us that? I saw the same headline, so I'm glad you elaborated for it. That's kind of pop culture, right?

shit streaming down the aisle of an airplane. That's sort of like, you know, what's going on with the Kardashians. That's sort of like Kanye West getting a blowjob on a boat. I'm surprised you to include that, by the way, the article. I was too, honestly, I was too upset. I was so upset for the person. We're going to just skip right there. I went over boat blowjob because I was upset about the other people that were on the very small boat with them.

And I was like, that fucking. sucks. I think that that's like, is it like yucked me out about like, did you can, like, is everyone, if everyone's like down, if you're like, hey, I'm going to get this blowji, right behind you. But can you imagine you get sucked off while somebody just going in the mood in your eye like a bigger pizza line at the ball rate? You know what I mean? It is, yeah, it's great. Isn't that so romantic, MJ? What do you think about that? Getting a blow job on a boat in Venice, huh? Yeah, it sounds nice. Again, I agree that. you should make sure everybody else is cool with it.

But speaking of things we haven't talked about, guys, how are we not talking about the giant, I don't know how much shit there is, but it seems like a bit of a shit flood happening at Burning Man right now. Oh, my God. I'm sorry, did you mean drowning man? All right, Jaggs has been waiting to scream. Drowning Man.

I didn't come up with that. Rumors of Ebola happening at, they should call it Ebola. It is. There's such a weird relationship we as a society now have. with Burning Man, right? I feel like it was very much aligned with like, what do they call it rainbow festivals or whatever? Rainbow people?

You're not about rainbow people? Yeah, or whatever, no, or what, you know what I mean? The rainbow gatherings, right? Yeah. There was that. And then there's the rainbow parties where the women put different colored lipstick on. God, I was one to go to one, but apparently they don't exist. Apparently they don't exist.

And, but Burning Man over time has, of course, changed a lot. And I think there's still people who would, I had a couple people. I follow who are literally there, I think, right now still trying to get out. There's definitely this feeling of hubris, though, right? Especially, like, on Twitter and spaces like that where people, you know, because it costs so much money to be a part of it. It's so, like, floofy do. And, like, we're all here together, man.

But it's kind of seems like it's also for a bunch of rich people from Silicon Valley to, like, feel like they're, like, one with nature or whatever. So we go back and forth. Some people, there's a good junk. people that go and do the do. Agreed. There's definitely, yeah. I think we've decided that it's all rich,

you know, Silicon Valley people. Because that's what we see on social meeting. They kind of took it over, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Right, right. I don't know what it feels like. I don't know if you're like, I have a friend who's been like an original burner for

like decades and I don't know if for those people, if it feels like, man, this sold out or if it's just like they're still doing their thing and then the VC tech bros are doing their thing. I think it depends on what kind of drugs you're into. I mean, it's seven. 70,000 people, so it kind of feels like you could have very uniquely different experiences, you know, depending on your situation. But it is interesting to see it all go to shit with, of course, everybody's being like, it's not bad, it's fine, we're banding together and we're a community. I'm like, you know you didn't want this experience.

No one wants this experience. The mud, the way, and I love that it's called the playa. The way the mud sticks to the foot in the playa. is, um, seems rough. It, it,

it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, like huge,

you know, they look like moon boots or something, that you're trying to walk around and, you know, everybody's, it sounds rough. Also, too,

like, technically you shouldn't be walking around because it, when it rains that hard, and then you, you're not supposed to walk around it because it actually fucks up the playa. Yeah. You know,

and it ruins the playa. But, I don't know how to feel about it, but the simple, But the cynical part of me wants to go all in on it and be like, this is so dumb. And, you know, it's all, it's glamping at its finest. You know what I mean? So, like, there's all these environmental issues.

Go ahead. Like, it's only if someone's just like, you know, gets in my face about. Right. Makes it their personality. If it's that. And even then, I'm like, all right, I guess that's who you, you live the life of burn. And honestly, good on you. Have that.

Yeah, that's fine. If it's a piece. Nobody deserves to drown in a desert full of shitwater, you know. But I do think it's very funny that Diplo and Chris Rock managed to escape on foot and then with the help of a friendly hitchhiker. I think that's a real, like, buddy story that we need more out. Well, did you see a lot of the cars because they couldn't, they can't get out with cars because, like, all of them are just getting trapped in, like, the mud pits. To be fair, they were like, don't try to leave. you will get fucked if you try to leave

and then of course idiots still try to drive out and now they're probably more fucked than they would have if they were if they just would have tried to stay but that's got to be scary too. That's the scary part. Being trapped would be very scary to just be like no you can't leave like this is public land

and so the Bureau of Land Management is in charge now and the feds are telling you you cannot leave. I would be so scared. Yeah that would be scary as hell. Yeah. Yeah so in that way I don't know whether I'm proud of Diplo and Chris Rock for figuring their own way out or if I want them to show solidarity with the 70,000 other people who are trapped. But I just think it's such an odd and fun

pairing for Diplo to be like, hey, Chris Rock, you want to get out of here? Right. I'm trying to look stuff up on it now too. I think people are able to get out today. I think it's when they can start maybe getting out. Yes, but they were supposed they were supposed to be able to, you know, it was supposed to end on like Sunday. Just the fact of like if someone just told me like you, you now you must stay here and like especially in that kind of situation if like assuming you're on a bunch of drugs and wait a second you're telling me I can't leave well even worse you're coming down off of a bunch of drugs so you run out of drugs and then you're not yeah yes sober dealing with it exactly yeah and I mean is there music like what's

yeah I've seen some videos there's definitely like music playing people trying to like really make the most of it and have fun with it. It'll be interesting to see the stories that come out of this if we get. I'm sure I feel like maybe we'll get that Netflix documentary or something, which might be fun. But since I haven't really heard a lot of updates, maybe it's not as bad as it initially seemed. I don't know.

It's not like I've gotten new. Like people are really fucked out there updates. But we'll see. Once people actually finally fully make it out. I heard there's Ebola. There's that. Yeah, the Ebola thing. I think was just a fake.

Yeah, I think that was bullshit. I think that was fake. But I'm sure that there was a lot of shit problems. Yeah, I mean, backed up. Portapotties. I think that was one of the first awful things that was going on was they couldn't, you know, No, there's no Ebola. I don't want to start bad rumors.

That was not a thing. I mean, I'm sure people were getting like sick and stuff. And what they did, they were investigating a death or two for sure. Yeah, there was a rumor death. And again, a lot of jokes to write there about how Diplo, you know, and Chris Rock would be. patients zero and one if there was Ebola there and then they got out and they bring the Ebola to the rest of the country. But that's not what happened. Diplo. So it starts to spreads to, um, I just had to

um, it seems like Diplo framed it as I have a concert tonight. I just had to get out. Um, and it sounds like it was, uh, Diplo looking out for Diplo. Not necessarily Diplo looking out for his fans. But, you know, you got to do what you got to do. I would also probably try to hitch a ride if I was a burning man. Yeah. And if there was any, if, if, if someone, offered me a lift and could get me out of a place where they told you you can't leave from. I'd be like, yes, I'll do whatever I have to to get out. Let me out. But maybe, again, that's just my, I don't like tiny spaces creeping out of my mouth there.

But I'm just being, I know that you're in the playa. But I don't want to be in the playa. The playa is in you, man. I just, I just can't believe I used to go to festivals like that. And now, like, I'm so, I get so anxious about being around, and I blame the goddamn pandemic. Yeah. I'm being around that many people in a place that I can't easily get out of. I just, like, can't do it anymore.

And I feel like such an old. I mean, I'm not like a broccoli hair hating old, but like, I am a get too anxious to be around too many people old. It's just, I just, it's broccoli. You know what I mean? I mean, think about how. Oh, what are you? The veggie tails? You know what I mean?

I wish I were. I love Jesus. I am a cucumber. Where do I put my seeds? All right, please, people. All right, I guess it's time. You know what time it is. Oh, we do.

That's right. It's time for the celebrity conspiracy. I'm here with a share. Do you believe it? Is Doja Cat playing the long game? Okay. The answer's probably yes. This one comes in from Amanda who writes,

I posited this theory to my fiance while we watched Doja's newest music video, and he is unimpressed. Oh, it's creepy, creeps. Have you seen it? But I thought y'all might support me better. Doja has been all up in the news over the past six months or so for saying some wild shit. She's accused her fans of being stupid for listening to her music, called her past albums cash grabs, claimed she's going to disappear, et cetera. You all know you covered it. But the attention, but then attention and paint the town red come out.

And they're both bangers, first of all. And they seem to have themes surrounding the fame machine and her relationship to it. The music videos have demonic themes and imagery, connecting the music industry and hell together. Doja's always been a creative, shoved into a marketable box. I wonder if she's managed to squeeze out

a little of the weirdness that's always made her unique. I've been squeezing out some weirdness lately, if you know what I mean. Oh, your poor buck. Doja's always been heavily influenced by meme culture in the internet. What if she's writing a narrative into her music and playing the part on the socials. Think the Weekens' Weird Vegas storyline.

He even dragged into his S&L and Super Bowl performances. Is Doja purposely blurring the lines between the story of her music and reality to garner attention for her fourth studio album? Anyway, this will be easily disproved if the album comes out and her attitude doesn't change. But honestly, if she just takes the money and disappears, then good for her.

Love you guys, Ma'amua, Amanda. I mean, here's the thing, Amanda. I don't even think it has to do specifically with this album. I think that it is just, it's a PR move. Yeah. You think so? But I think that you are completely right. But she knows how to work.

And I think right now, the best way to get attention is kind of fucking with stands a little bit, right? For better for worse, right? I mean, if you look at it, you know, in the case of Taylor, like, when did she, when was she splashy in the news for a minute with the Maddie Healy bullshit, you know? Like, any time there's this, like, a front to the fandom seems to be lately. why, and that's why we're changing this to page 7 presents the Taylor Swift podcast. And I'm very excited to be announcing this. I'm going with you to Eric.

Stop, Jackie, I'm trying to fuck with the fans so that they can scream about us on the Facebook page and then we get more attention that way, okay? And then maybe we get picked up by something, okay? We're the PR move. Yeah, I don't know. I definitely think it's largely, for publicity. I also think it is

the way she talks about I could see it being a little bit of a freeing experience to just say like, I don't have to placate you people. I don't know you people. I don't I give you my

music. The problem is this. At the end of the day though, she her career doesn't exist without the fans and there's no way so you kind of you kind of have to find the balance in between, right? It's like you owe them nothing and you owe them everything. It's the dichotiv.

It's the paradox of fandom. Isn't that weird? Yeah, it is. Thoughts. I mean, I, it seems like there's maybe a fandom bubble that will burst at some point where, or will change at some point, right? Like there's been in this, and we talked about this last time we talked about Doja Cat, but over the last, basically with the internet,

this increasing blurring of space of the hierarchies between famous people and non-famous people. No. No, no, no, no. Want to be domesticated. Why would you ever? Fuck you, holden. You know what sucks for me? You know what sucks for me?

Every time I hear used to be young, I fucking think about that fucking guy, Robin Thick, because I think about how she got so much shit for dancing with him at the fucking VMAs. And he was the douchebag. Not her. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. But they were like, but her tongue was waggling out of her mouth. They were like, look at this slutty 20-year-old and this fucking creepest Robin Thick.

Let's point and laugh at the 20-year-old girl. Yes, I'm very into revisiting Miley Cyrus's youth right now. Oh, my God. How great is that fucking song? It's so good. It's just so. I could listen to that. that woman talk.

She should become an audiobook person, man. Oh my God, her voice. I love her voice. I do anything for Miley Cyrus. She's so hot. I'm just like, I want to kiss her.

Oh, I want to be here. Oh, I just need. And also, remember, everyone was such a dick to her when she came out as like pansexual, too. Everyone was like, oh, you're just such a slut. And it's so bad, so bad. How bad. We talk about how everyone was bad to Brittany,

but like the badness to young women went way past 2008. Miley was the second coming of Brittany in certain ways, for sure. 100%. I like to think that people aren't like that with young famous people anymore, but that's also because young famous people are doing it so differently, I guess, right? Like how Billy Elish is just like, you cannot comment about me. I will make myself uncommentable, you know, like you won't see my body. I don't know. It seems like it seems like very young, famous people are trying to be like, trying to define

their own narrative in a way that people like Miley, even less than a decade ago, weren't really allowed to do. So going back to your point on, you think there's going to be a burst bubble, you think it's going to be the housing market but for fandoms? Do you think there would be a fan revolt or

will they take to the streets? I mean, I don't exactly know what the burst bubble looks like, but it just seems like we, I don't know, I think about this all the time that it just seems like we're, you know, there is such a the YouTube fandom and the inner I mean there's still these

superstars obviously and like Doja Cat is one of them but I just think it's very interesting that she's just like what if I did a thing where I said absolutely fuck all of you guys and it's like the opposite of what Taylor does right where she like wants everyone to like her and I don't know what a burst bubble would look like but it just seemed like I think all the time about like when my kids are like at college you know if the world still exists then and they reference like what they watched as kids like when we went to college

it was like, oh, did you watch fucking Thundercats? Yeah, me too, man. But like, already, like, yeah, my kids have, like, there's some things that all kids watch, like, Paw Patrol or whatever. But, like, it just seems like there is such a, like, they hung out with their cousins for a week and now they're really into this, like, one YouTube channel, even though, of course, I was like, no YouTube, but it's happening. Like, and so I just, I just wonder, the burst bubble, I guess to me is more about, like,

the hierarchy of, like, superstar and regular person. and it seems like that is just a blurred line. Or here's a weird blurred line. No. Here's a weird blurred line. It's going to be in my head. Because a lot of the doja cat stuff was with Stan accounts. And the interesting thing with Stan accounts is this is a weird thing we've run into now

where Stan accounts pop up. And then it's this weird thing where it's like they go about it like they're working for the star. But there was no hiring process or. vetting process or anything like that. There's no money involved. So all of a sudden it's like I put you in the position that I'm your employee, but there was no actual establishment of a relationship there. And so then there becomes this weird resentment afterwards when it's like they're not like

just giving up everything to the stand account or like giving, you know, being as. And it's like, I think that that is valid for Doja got to be like, I don't, I didn't ask you to be a stand account. Yeah. I didn't, like, I don't, you're forcing me into a situation where I, like, owe you something, but that's when it gets a little uncomfortable, you know what I mean? And I think that stuff is a little bizarre because, I mean, of course, I'm on, I'm constantly looking at, like, Stan account stuff.

And they do it like it's their fucking job. Yeah. That's also the most interesting thing. And I'm not saying it's, like, a bad thing is I have, like, people who support my channel in a similar-ish fashion where they're, like, very helpful in making my channel. happen in a certain way, right? But it does get interesting the relationship there when you have that kind of thing going on because that's where social media is just very bizarre, right?

That it's even like moderators on Reddit, I'll never understand. I'll never understand the people that go and moderate a subreddit like it's a part-time job, like, in their lives. I kind of get, I mean, it gives you purpose, it gives you something. it's probably just like a fun thing. Yeah. I think it's a hobby. Well, you say it's fun, but they have to deal with a lot of bullshit.

I mean, banklessly. You know, I also hate playing video games because it gives me anxiety. You know, there's just, like, and that's not how you see video games. So maybe, like, because if you're staring at, like, something like, I don't know, you're reading legal documents all day. And then it's just like a fun, like, oh, great, I'm going to post this meme about Doja Cat. Or like, I get that. You would be a poli. police officer, if that wasn't, didn't come without all that it came with.

So this is a way for you to like police without being police. Yeah, because then you're in charge. And then you get that like dopamine of just like, I'm in charge here. And I like, and I do understand where people come from when they're doing jobs like that. Well, I get to agree to disagree, broccoli head. Well, all right. I am a broccoli head, I guess. Yeah, I guess you're a broccoli head.

Well, I'm a fucking parent head. Thank you very much. You are so not a parent. You are so not a parent. I get a margarita. It's still one of the only two songs he wrote. You're only singing the hits. You don't even know the other songs.

No, I know. Give me one margarita and I'll give me some. I mean, give me two margaritas. There would be no margarita song if Jimmy Buffett didn't exist. We all know this. Too bad we didn't get that crossover. So that Margarita Song Lady could run. That's true.

That's true. In the canon of songs about margaritas, there are really two standouts. Ha ha ha ha. I know, and I was making, so I was telling Jagging, my mom's in town, I was making the margaritas. And I kept having to only sing the very first half of the first line of the song. Give me one margarita. Give me one margarita head. All right.

Yep, it stops there. I know. I've been doing this all summer. I keep wanting to, like, sing it around my family. I'm like, nope, can't do it. It is not one of those songs. Not made for it. We got to get the kids'bop version of Margarita song.

Oh. Give me one margarita head. You can't even say Margarita. Margaritas. Like, give me one soda pop, and I'll burp a lot. Good times, good times. All right, well, there you go. I guess, I don't even know.

We believe. Yeah, we believe. We believe. Yeah, we believe. We believe. We believe. We believe. Well, it's time for the list.

Oh. Who's on the list? Me. Got to have that list. Hit Songs' secret backstories. There are, I mean, This first one, I had absolutely no idea. Queen's collaboration with David Bowie on Under Pressure was pure impromptu.

David Bowie just happened to be by the studio where Queen was recording tracks for their 10th studio album when both parties decided to work on an original piece during a 24-hour session. Mercury and Bowie even did their vocals separately without hearing each other as they sang their part. And the drugs in that room must have been immaculate. But how awesome is that? Like, I chose this list. I literally read no other parts of this list. I read that and I was like, done.

That's awesome. That's really cool. Yeah, that's awesome. Well, I guess I'm going to continue on because Kirk Hammett ganged part of the solo from, Live with One Hour Open. It is Enter Sandman from Hart's Magic Man. He said, but I didn't get it from Hart's version, explained Han. I got it from a cut off Ice T's power album where he used it as a sample.

The guitarist said he kept hearing the lick and thought, I have to snake this. And there comes enter Sandman, which I feel like he's got a snake this. What does that even mean? What does snake and it mean? I think it means he took it. I think he snaked it. Oh, okay. I thought he was like a beat off thing or so. I thought he was like, you know what I mean? I don't think it's a beat off thing, Holden. I think he's just metal holding. I'm persecuted this episode. You are persecuted.

You deserve to be persecuted. Yeah, you're persecuted this. We're going to look back and say it's a bit much. No, this is the crucifixion of Holden episode. Welcome. Persecution implies that you don't deserve it, but in this case, I think you do deserve it. So we need a different word of a person. I'm a bit of a martyr over here.

Yeah. You're a bit of a whore of Babylon more like. Come on, Riverdale. It's over. It's over. Oh my God. I can believe it took us this long to get to that. How do you guys feel? Weird.

Honestly, we recorded an entire episode of Riverdale Roundup while watching Riverdale the last episode and it is just us crying for 45 minutes. So that's how we feel. So that will be out soon. It will be out soon. It really was that. It was a very sad episode.

Oh, wow. Why? Really sad. It really makes you think about your life and like all of the people that have come in and out of your life and like when you lose touch and like it went through how each one of them died it was almost needlessly sad. Okay well I don't want to call out a different show but it sounds like they just totally ripped off one of the most classic incredible series finales of a TV show and just

completely stole that is exactly what that means. All Riverdale does is cop from other shows. That's what it does. It's a past like the movie of Riverdale. It's a cultural... Six feet under, right? Oh, no, I didn't want to say it. I didn't want to ruin it for anybody, but how similar was it to that? I actually, I only know this because of everybody talking about how the Riverdale ending was like the six feet underending.

I haven't seen six feet under it. You just described it's like, you're just describing the most iconic, my favorite series finale of all time. And it dev. And they just stole it. And also my guess is that it made sense in six feet under it. Where it happened? Where it probably didn't need. to happen so melodramatically in Riverdale.

But again, that's Riverdale, man. What are they going to do? They're going to do seven seasons of a show that makes no sense. And then they're going to make the series finale be about death and loss for absolutely no reason. For no reason. They did it and they nailed it. All right. They did a great job.

Well, it sounds like they stole it. Oh, yeah. But they take a lot. There's a lot of liberties taken over on Riverdale. There's a lot of... It's a collage of cultural references. Anything that they steal... This is a thing.

If you make enough cultural reference, it's like girl talk. If you make enough, if your whole project is referencing other things, then is it stealing or is it a cultural commentary, you know? Right. Well, Dolly Parton's Jolene came from the singer's two separate real life experiences. She came up with the name during a show where she met a beautiful eight-year-old girl named Jolene. And the homewrecker angle came from a redhead bank teller who developed a huge crush on. her husband. Wow.

And I love the fact, I want to know, the reason why I'm reading this factoid, I mean, obviously love Dolly Parton, but also, how did she find out that the bank teller had a huge crush on her husband? Did she, like, was she overtly hitting on him? Did she assume that she had a crush on him? Was this something that, like, her husband came on was just like, oh, my God, Dolly, I was at the bank, and she asked for my number and I don't know what to do. Yeah, and also the experience of just meeting someone named Jolene is not really.

She's just like, that's a separate experience. She met someone named Jolene. And then she heard about a bank teller who had a crush on her husband. I mean, I like this backstory in a way, but it almost makes me feel less excited about the song to know that it wasn't some bitch named Jolene. It was just some bankton. I do feel like the husband did come home and was like, somebody's got a crush on it. That's what I would have done. I said, I would have done and be like,

you got a red head at the bank, and she wants a tiny little smile. I'm surprised that more people don't have crushers on your own. I know it. I get it. Well, happily married man, so don't come fucking near me, you fucking B words listening

that are horned out by this guy a little bit. Also, before anybody writes an email at me about girl talk, girl talk is very good, and I love girl talk. I'm not trying to say that girl talk. I love girl talk. Girl talk's great. This is a pro-girl talk podcast.

A project of collecting pieces of culture. It's a collage. Like how you said, it's a collage of pop culture. Girl Talks great. And also at the very same time, I am not interested in grooming any of you listeners, okay? I keep it clean and in the pants. I keep it waxed. No, no, no, just people having crushes on me.

He's still hung up on love with me. You know what I mean? Yep, yep. Which I get, but I am anti-groom, okay? Take that to the doggy house or whatever and groom there. Well, speaking of grooming, Bad was originally going to be a collaboration between Michael Jackson and Prince. Oh, rough segue, Jackie, but also a good segue. Rough but real segue.

Producer Quincy Jones. The guy who invented a segue wrote it off a cliff. D-Ans are spinning all of our bodies. I just love this little factoid part of it. Producer Quincy Jones says it was his idea to put the two. rivals together and turn that antagonistic energy into pop gold. But guess what? Prince immediately said, no fucking way. And I love that he just immediately brought to him and he was just like, no. No. Not got him. Yeah. Good for him. Yeah. Good for the prince. We're going to have to

side with Prince in this one retroactively. Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, this is surprising. Sam Smith sang, stay with me. We all know the song. All by himself with no choir. He got the choir effect by layering his voice while standing in different spots about 20 times. And what we hear is the finished demo. The song was written in 34 minutes

and recorded in a single take. But it wasn't until he'd added the harmonies that he felt like the whole song suddenly made sense. That is, that cool movie. Hell yeah. That's a lot of fun. I had no idea and that's a lot of fun. That's awesome.

he wrote the song in 34 minutes. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's awesome. Love Sam Smith. No notes. No notes. And last but not least, which one is going to be my last one? There's so many of them.

Andre 3000 wrote Outcast, Miss Jackson, as an apology of sorts to the mother of his former partner, Erica Badu. Badu wasn't entirely thrilled with. the track at first. But when asked how her mother felt about it, she said she bought her a Miss Jackson license plate. She had the mug. She had the ink pen. She had the headband. She had everything. She loved it. That's awesome. So, there are fun facts on this list. Fun facts. You did it, Jackie. You got very fun facts. Good way. Yeah, it's a great list. Thanks, guys. Thank you. I almost feel like we should do another part two of this. There's so many other ones. There's so many other ones. Maybe I will.

Maybe I'm freaking well. The whole list is greatest hits, too. It's of page seven. We got Shaggy. You know, we got Stevie Nix. We got the Macarena. We got the Macarena on there. Leonard Cohen and Shrek.

I mean, there's a lot. You skipped right over. All right. We'll come back with the next week. See ya and Camilla Cabello. Yeah, there's a lot. Hell yeah. All right.

There's a lot going on with me right now because I think I'm going. Blind. Blind. Item. Oh, we can't see them. Here's a happy blonde. This former actress turned host once saved the lives of hundreds of dogs from a kill shelter and used her network to find homes for all of them. She's a child actress, now she's the host.

Drew Barrymore. That's right. Of course she would. Of course. Man, why has she managed to just really land on her feet so, so flawed? Like, she's everything that Ellen was trying to do in terms of, like, just radiating, kind of. and warmth, but like, for real. I think because she legitimately is,

like, it seems any person that I've talked to that has interacted with her says she's, like, same with Kelly Clarkson, like the same, just like, they're just, because they're genuinely good people. Yeah, yeah, and that's really fucking awesome. It's almost hard to, and it's harder and harder to get away with being secretly a shithead nowadays,

which I think there is some validity too. But amazing, how many daytime talk shows for our entire lives were dominated by, like explicitly terrible people, right? Like, not even talking about like Mori, but like, you know, Tyra or whatever. And Ellen, who turned, you know, her thing was that she was nice, but it turned out she was not so nice. But I feel like now with Kelly Clarkson and Drew Barrymore, it's just like, this is what it should have been this whole time. Yes, agreed, totally.

Here's another one for you. There is someone from the bar show who is given a gift that never goes away to several people they work with in many. fans too. Now, the someone is not named. What is the bar show? The bar show. Always Sunny?

Reality show. Oh. What's the show? People are addicted to it and we don't understand why. Jackie used to watch it. And we don't understand why. When you say bar show, it takes place at a bar? Possibly.

Yes. It does. It's a reality show. Bar restaurant. Bar restaurant. Oh, Vandrapump Rules. Yes. Oh, okay.

What would be a gift that never goes away. I'm going to guess something that is STD related? Yes, what would the STD might be that never goes away that can be given to a lot of people? Herpes? Is it HIV? No. It starts with an H, though.

Herpes. Yeah. Someone's giving everybody herpes and Fader Pump Rules. Whoa. Well, I mean, yeah, you know, that's far for the course. Always a good time. It was HIV. That would be a pretty different blind item.

Yeah, I don't think I would go with that blind. Jackie, if it was HIV. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, maybe that's a really big blind. It wasn't just that awful catalog sale deal that the constant demand and the constant demand that the former A-plus list tweener get back on the road that finally led to the firing of the manager. There was also the hitting on the wife thing that didn't go over very well. The bebes.

The bebes. And who? The scoot. Yeah, we'll talk about it more on the leftovers. We're going to talk about scoot and the leftovers. I was so sad to be away during the week where all the news was hitting of the scooter broad exodus. Ariana Grande, I didn't even know this. My other favorite, like one of my top tops, Carly Ray Jepson, I didn't know was a scooter brawn.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know that either until this article from this week. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, Holden's going to be upset about this. I mean, I am, but it's after the fact because she's leaving him. She hasn't worked with him actually for a while. now apparently.

Like she's kind of been distancing for a while. Love to see it. We'll talk about it more on the leftovers. If you are not a patron, check us out. Every week we do the leftovers. We recover all the articles we haven't covered during the main show. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast, but I'm very excited to talk about it. I'll just throw this in there as well.

I had a secret bonus fourth blind. Whoa. But also, Scooter Braun maybe hit on Haley Baldwin-Baver potentially as part of the rift. Of course he's hitting on, like, I feel like he probably thinks that like all women are owed to him. And I just, what a yucko. And lastly, this convicted music scammer is making the date for his next scam so far away. He has well over a year to scam as much money from people as possible. I'm still getting texts about it.

Oh, the fire festival guy. I can't believe Billy McFarland is doing fire too. I don't understand. He got out of jail. He was just like, all right, time to get Fire Festival 2 started. Why would you call it? Why would you call it Fire 2? Why would you associate yourself?

Tickets are, the lowest ticket is $500 right now. They're going back to the Caribbean. I cannot fucking believe this is happening. And I'm still getting texts from him directly asking me to go to Firefest to get Firefest merch. I mean, it is. really blowing me away. That's the thing I was thinking of. The Burning Man trap

maybe was calling to mind a bit of the Fire Fest stuff, right? Of like finding yourself at what you think is going to be like a really cool. I mean, Burning Man's a little different because everyone knows they're like out camping whereas Fire Fest was supposed to be real glam. But like the idea of just finding yourself

at a festival and being like, oh, no, no, no. Now we don't have enough food. We don't have enough water and there's no way for you to get out. You know what I mean? Yeah. Here's some texts for you. Want to come to the fire event on 826?

You know I got a, or wait, wait, here's another one. Want your brand to pop this weekend? I'm jet skiing from Manhattan to the Hamptons with a bunch of talent for a promo video shoot. Hit me up if you want in. Oh my God, you got to go. Imagine Holden shows up. Hey, guys, I'm ready. I've responded to none of these.

I get hit up like every like few days or so. One in on fire. Yo, last message before the big one, big, big one. The Fire 2 hoodies sold out. And we're dropping 150 limited edition T-shirts today. Last of the drop. Want to buy one? And then most recently, Fire 2 tickets just dropped.

Unreal. If you, I mean, at this point, if you're buying a ticket to Fire 2 after what happened, I just don't even understand how this is able to happen on any level, how anyone's buying tickets, how he's able to even try this again. again makes no sense. But it is, yeah, I guess it's going on. You know, I don't know who's supposed to be there per se. Everybody who's anybody who's everybody holding.

Like what band is signing on to the? I mean, what even is the event at this point? It is shocking. It's fire too. Do you even need to know? Because the last one was a horror show. So don't go to fire to do. Pay that.

Can you imagine just paying that? much money, just to be like, well, the last one was a shit show, but this one's got to be great, right? So do not go to Fire 2. Do come see us out in Nashville, Atlanta, and Tampa next week. And then also Royal Oak, Michigan, Columbus, Ohio, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. First week of October. Yeah, October 3rd, 4th of it. Please come see us out. We're going to have a blast. Get your tickets. Last Podcast Network.com. It's a lot cheaper than Fire 2. Oh, my God. And I bet a lot more singing. Oh yeah. Yeah, actual entertainment will be there, which would be fun.

Incredible. I can see again. Hey, guys. Welcome back, Holden. Welcome back. Oh, my God. It's so going to be here. Oh, my God. It's so great that you are here, but we got to leave you now because it's time for the end of the episode. And thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode of Page 7. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can come follow me over on Instagram at at Jack That Worm. And you can get your tickets again. Release the buttholecut tour. Lastpodcastnetwork.com

Don't forget to get your tickets. Come out and hug us and sing along with us. Holden? Hey, sing along with us. Check me out. Twitch.tv.4.

slash Holdenators ho. Monday through Friday streams. Twitch.tv.4. Holdenators ho. Jack up with the Holdies every Friday. Or at least we do something. We haven't had it.

We're not. we're not going to be able to do a proper one for a second. We've got to figure this out. But I will be, someone will be streaming on Friday in a jovial way. Oh, yeah. Smiles. For sure. And what else?

Page 7 Podcast at gmail.com. Please send in your conspiracy theories and anything else. Much love over there. And MJ? My name's MJ. Forgive me for this episode, guys. I was on a massive internet delay. But I'm here.

Yes. And I'm here. and a little queer And I'm MJK LKat on Instagram All right Let's sing the shout-out song Because we've got a couple of weeks Worth a shout-out

So hold on to your bucket hats Shout Shout Shout Let it all out These are the emails that you wrote it about Come on We're gonna read that to you

Come on Oh good news gracious me. Thank you guys so much for sending in your shoutouts and you can send in your own shoutouts to page seven podcast at gmail.com. I love to read them and I love being a smiler. Yep, that's what I said. And I won't take it back. I love being a smiler. You heard it here first. And why am I a smiler? Because I'm reading shoutouts. Again, send in your own shout. Shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. So bear with me today and come along for the journey, won't you?

Because we've got quite a few shoutouts to catch up on from the last couple of weeks. And I'm so excited to spin some stories for y'all. First up, we've got Lysia. Lysia says, I've been listening to page 7 for a little over a year now. And I've been a huge fan of LPN pods for nearly five years. I figured now would be a good as a time ever to write in a self-shout. Good a time as ever is how it is said, actually. Jackie?

Lisey says this year has been an absolute roller coaster for me. In January, I quit my second job due to a very traumatic work environment. It was literally making me sick. I wasn't eating or sleeping and I was crying and having debilitating panic attacks daily. I really needed the money, but I knew I was going to be in such. worse shape if I stayed. Soon after I quit, my overall health took a complete 180 for the better. But just when I thought I was finally healing, I got knocked back down again. On January 31st, I was furloughed from my primary job of four years with no pay and no promise that I'd ever

be called back to work. Job hunting is the absolute worst. But after pounding the proverbial pavement all day, every day for a month, I landed an amazing job with amazing co-workers and the kindest and best boss I could ever ask for. I am the happiest at work than I've been in years, and I finally get to utilize my graphic design degree. Congratulations! On top of that, this year I've come to embrace and celebrate my queerness more than ever before. A masafic-leaning bisexual, married to an adoring golden retriever gamer guy for 11 years. He has been so sweet and supportive of me in this joyous and beautiful new chapter of my life. I've also been studying up on queer history more than ever before. Thanks to joining the Gaylor side of the Swifties late last year. Thank you for my welcome.

You guys have powered me through it all for better or worse. And thank you so much. And Lizia says, thank you, Jackie, I'm Jay and Holden for being you and doing what you do. I love you all so much. And we love you right back. Thank you so much for sharing such a positive experience. Hell yeah, you did it. congratulations. Now moving on to Eva, Eva says I had been thinking about writing in for a while, and about a year and a half ago, I underwent an intensive RTSS treatment for anxiety and depression that was really controlling my life. I had few friends, a job I hated, and had never been in a romantic relationship. Flash forward to last Friday, I had quit that job to go back to school and was to start the first day of a job in my field on Monday. I'd been in a relationship since

December and I was nervous but ultimately excited about my future. That Sunday, my girlfriend broke up with me. In a way, it was mutual, but she was the one who ripped the bandaid off. I saw it coming, but maybe not that night. I had noticed that we had been drifting apart, that she had less time for me and that I felt lonelier within our relationship. One of the things she had mentioned is that she didn't see us ever living together. And I did, but I had kept it to myself because I had learned growing up that having feelings was crazy. I've always been a sensitive person, and I grew up in a family with a lot of addiction and unresolved intergenerational trauma where emotions were not allowed. It feels like a betrayal to have worked so hard to keep my feelings inside and to know that this was what

had driven her away. I'm sad about the breakup, but I know I have to feel it. I'm writing emo poetry, I'm listening to Lucy Dacus. When I get my first check, I'll probably get a classic existential crisis haircut. I know that this is healing. I know that we love each other, but if we don't feel the same kind of love, we will end up hurting each other. She wants us to still be friends, and I think we will be. But right now, I am taking solace and I don't have to wait for her

while I finish watching Yellow Jackets. I have taken so many first steps this past year. I've been through so much uncertainty and growth, and I'm proud that I'm not just here, but that I'm actively participating in my own life. Hell yes, Eva, that's what I love to hear. Thank you so much for joining us every week. And thank you so much for sharing something that is hurtful,

but also a positive growth experience. And I'm proud of you. And it does suck, but I'm so proud of you for going through it and living it and feeling it. Now, moving on to Rebecca. Now, Rebecca has a shout out to another shout-outer. Rebecca says to Tim from episode 501. Rebecca says, Thank you for the beautiful story.

And while it sounds like the most romantic, beautiful time slip into a thing that few ever really get, and I hope you get much more, the real alchemy was that this person saw you. He held up a mirror and he showed you yourself. We all spend so long relying on the shorthand of who and what we think we are,

that sometimes when someone else sees our wonder, our beauty and worth, it's intoxicating. But you, beautiful Tim, were the drug. You fell in love with yourself, the wild, fearless, open version of you that you wake up with every day. And while I sincerely hope that you get a chance at forever with this lovely man, no matter the outcome, you get to be the steward of the man who was so open and amazing on that trip and is still all those things on a boring Wednesday in a school library.

Magic isn't just for vacations. You carry that spark. You are that spark. You have the luck to get to know him, and better still, you get to know new things about him. He's changing and growing and is fascinating. He's there every morning and every night. He's new and old and wise and fascinating. It sounds like you're building an amazing life for him.

Thank you for this gift and the creative writing instructor that I am says, Write this story! I wish you so much love and happiness and the knowledge down deep in your amazing bones that you are the spark. Chase it when you can, but don't forget that you can see it when you look in the mirror. Oh, Rebecca!

Bring me to my knees! And I'm not talking about Ice Planet Barbarians. I love what you wrote! And thank you for saying such wonderful things about me. Add to Jackie. Thank you for always starting the shoutouts

with thank you for sending in your shoutouts. It makes me happy to you're up every week. It's just us, all of us, falling in love with ourselves, bearing our happiness and sorrow, sharing and feeling support. You create a space where we all get to speak a moment of truth and hear it repeated back to us in the voice of absolute love and acceptance.

Your voice and the way you take such care with the readings and inflection, you are our queen for a reason. You stop. What you are doing is a force for good in this dark universe. That phrase says it all. You are thinking us after all you give, and that is amazing and beautiful and wondrous. I love you, Rebecca.

Thank you so much for your kind words and your beautiful. and you're beautiful, oh my God, of course you're a creative writing teacher. You're unbelievable. I was swept away. So much love to you, baby. And thank you for taking the time in to respond to Tim. And hopefully, Tim, you hear this and it fills you with love and love for yourself. Now, Sarah, thank you so much.

And Sarah is so proud of their sister. My sister, Jasmine, is a doctor in her residency. has been working her tush off. She is one of the funniest people I know and is really supportive. We weren't super close as kids because she was scary, mean, older sister and I was a grumpy, moody, middle child.

But now we're close and stay connected through our long-distance sister ship. She's in Oregon and I'm in Alabama. And I am proud of her and feel blessed. She's my sister. I'd also like to send a shout out to any person who has been pregnant because I am experiencing it for the first time and can't stop complaining.

And I know there are so many and have been so many pregnant people out there who do it so much more gracefully and patiently. And I am jealous and admire them. Sarah, I just want you to know if I ever become one of those people, I would be the same thing. I would just be like, oh, this sucks. Creating life is difficult. So I completely understand. And hell yeah, Sarah, can't wait to see you in Atlanta. and if someone doesn't give you a suite, a seat, I swear, because they're standing room only,

and that you need to be able to sit down. Just, again, just be like, I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I have to sit down, which is also what I would do if I was, like, on a bus or on a subway, be like, I am pregnant. Let me sit. And just be one of those people. So live it, because you are.

You're creating life, and that's a full-time goddamn job. Love you, Sarah. And Sal, Sal, thank you so much for writing it. and they think that their friend listens to page seven, and I love that you're sending a shout out just in case. Sal says, I have a lovely friend who I believe listens to page seven. We've never talked about page seven together, but I notice that they follow you on Instagram,

and this is my sneaky way of letting them know that I do too. Evie, you are such a creative, talented, hilarious, and caring person, and you are so loved. I hope you are relaxing on your well-earned European summer holiday and I can't wait to see you when you get back. Lots of love from Sal, and lots of love goes out to you, Sal. I hope they do listen, and I hope they hear it, and I hope you are having a fabulous holiday, baby.

Next up comes in from Sam. Sam says, I've been listening to Page 7 for two years, and it just so happened to coincide with when my husband and I finally hit our stride in life. For seven years, my husband had a job he thought was going, going to open a lot of doors for him, but instead seemed to close them one after another. He was overworked and underpaid. Two years ago, we took a risk and left that job for something completely different. I have never seen him so happy.

He finds his work so much more fulfilling. The higher pay for way less work is definitely a bonus. I am so proud of him. For a lot of that time, we were also trying to have a baby. Nothing was working. but we didn't have the means to try for medical alternatives. So after four years of trying and three miscarriages, my soul was crushed and I was deeply angry.

Even if I didn't want to admit it, I did my best to keep it together and resign myself to never having a child of my own. Surprise for me! Right when my husband finished transitioning to his new job, I got pregnant again and this time it stuck. Our little boy just turned one. He's so silly and smart and so much like his dad.

I'm lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom, and nothing brings me more joy than to be there for him. I get to watch those moments as he learns and grows and see all the little quirks that make up his big personality. I never knew I could love anyone so deeply. He fills my heart to the point of bursting, so much so that it makes me cry at least once a week. To round things out, my husband and I celebrated our 15th year together,

And we bought a house. It's another dream we never thought would happen, but here we are. We've moved so many times that it feels amazing to finally have a place to call home. And I hope we can spend the next 15 years here together. He's the first love of my life and has never stopped showing me how beautiful the world can be. And last but certainly not least, thank you page 7 for being the extra little cherry on top that has made these last two years the best of our lives. I love listening to how invested you get into whatever topic it may be and how truly connected you are to one another.

I may or not also revel in relaying the celebrity conspiracy theories to other people who have never listened to your show. It's quite fun to see the looks on their faces as they turn the ideas around in their brain before they decide if I'm full of shit or not. I love it. This is what, that's why we started page seven, Sam. I mean, we started it because we wanted to give people something to talk about. That's not just the weather.

and then we put things like Tom Cruise is a fish fucker into your brain. And you have to share those things. Oh, fill my heart with joy is what you do, Sam. Thank you so much for your shout-out. And last but certainly not least, a shout-out to Rachel. Rachel, I don't even know if you meant this as a shout-out, but it just made me so happy that I had to read this aloud. Rachel says, I know I'm super late to this party,

but I recently subscribed to the $5 Patreon tier to hear the talk and TV episodes because I was running thin on LPN shows to listen to during the long soul-sucking hours at work. At some point, one of the latest Ice Planet Barbarian episodes queued up and started playing, and I kept meaning to skip it, but for some reason I never got around to it. It was smack dab in the middle of like Book 9 or something, and I had no idea what I was listening to, but my attention was completely arrested, and I will never be the same again. A bit of a backstory, I'm a snooty stuck-up bibliophile, and book

are my passion and reading and collecting the best ones is my lifelong endeavor, but until recently, I'd never read romance or smut books. I'd never given them a chance. After finishing that one episode, I went back to 2022 and started the first Ice Planet Barbarian episode. It's been two days, and I just finished listening to Book 2 with Liz and Rahash. I am obsessed and supremely grateful. What fun, what joy. I don't think I could ever sit down and read these books of my own,

and I can't imagine anyone other than you narrating them. Your presentation of these books with sidebars and sexy songs and all make it perfect and have suddenly introduced this genre and sphere of books that I was largely unaware of and may have spent the rest of my life never having had the joy and delight of reading them. I love it so much. Many, many things. And while I know your several books ahead, I think I'll catch up quickly and I just had to write to say, I hope you read all of the Ice Planet Barbarian books because I haven't looked forward to the long hours of work with my headphones in like ever,

before I found Jackie's book club. Oh my God, Rachel, I just also want to let you know. Go back, listen to Model Land. Model Land is absolutely bad shit. It's when I started. And also, I dare say listen to Twilight. If you're into the way I do things over on the Patreon, and I wasn't even saying this just because I want other people to join the Patreon,

I just like love doing Jackie's Book Club so much that to hear anyone gush about it. I just want to say thank you so much, Rachel, for saying that it makes me so happy. And I love you guys. Thank you so much. Everybody for your shoutouts. And thank you for waiting for weeks for your shoutouts as well. I'm sending all of you so much love. And you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com.

I love reading them every week. And it just puts such a smile in my heart. I know this was a big long one today, guys. Thanks for joining me. And thanks for sticking with me. And I love you so much. And we'll be back soon. M-W-ha.

This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.