Page 7 - Ep. 507: Give Me More Pitbull

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

This week on MJ, Holden and Jackie are backie and we're beggin' for some Pitbull as Usher is announced to headline the Super Bowl halftime show, erryone's got the lame kinda acid, broccoli-topped zoomers invade the Murderfist Reunion, Taylor Swift continues to competently dominate all media on her grand accession to power of a global government she will surely impose, Olivia Rodrigo is apparently terrified of birds!?, for some reason "caviar bumps" are becoming a thing, AND DON'T FORGET THE FINAL (FOR NOW) LIVE SHOWS, a quick reminder of the death machines that birds are, SOMEONE MADE A CHICKEN TRANSLATOR!?, Hallmark announces 42 holiday movies for this year!!!, and In Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: DID THEY SABOTAGE JIMMY FALLON!?!? A List full of DANGEROUS PROPS, DA BLINDZ, them SHOUTZZ AND EVEN MOOOOORE!Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser are going on TOUR! Dates and links to tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com   Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's time for more. Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser present, release the butthole cut tour coming to you in September in October. Where are we heading in September, Jackie? We're going on September 12th. We're going to Nashville. We're going on September 13th to Atlanta, Georgia. And then I're going back to my hometown, September 14th of Tampa, Florida. In October, October 3rd, we're going to be in Detroit, Michigan. October 4th, we're going to be in Columbus. And October 5th, we're going to be in Pittsburgh. Nights. And Wizard of the Bruiser Brzeet.

Release the Butthole Cut tour. You can find tickets at last podcast network. Dot com, baby. Yeah. So I got down out. And say, come get me. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I forgot you're actually trying to do an usher song, bro. Yeah. Yeah. From my girl, you're the best of home. Why are you doing the second gift? All the bomb is screaming. Yeah.

What is that? What is that? That's from far. Uh. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to make it seem like it's coming out of everywhere. Like I am surrounding you with Yeya.

I mean, what am I going to sing? Like, DJ God is falling in love again. It's just a snooze fest. I am starting it out. Hot take, welcome to page seven. I don't think I'm that huge of an Usher fan. No. Welcome to page seven.

It's going to be the Super Bowl guy. And I just couldn't. Like, you know what? The fact that he does, yeah, you know, that he has worked with the, oh my God, or the DJ Got Spallin' Love he does with Pitbull. Give me more Pitbull. You know, I'm weirdly will take more pit bull. He is on a lot of, we can say this about him, he's on a lot of great collaborations with other great artists. Yes.

And he's got the Riz and he can dance. He does, yes, he can dance. That's true. And he does have some Riz. No, it's going to be a great show. I just think the music is kind of boring. That's the problem. This is where I stand with it and maybe I'm just so worried people would be like,

fuck you. Usher's the fuck, you know what I mean? Because we are old. Two things. We are old and out of touch. But we should know because we've been around in the heyday of Usher. Yes. We were in the before the fall of the house of Usher.

That's right. I had to do it. Right? We are generationally. We were young when Usher was popular. And I cannot name you. You just sang that song. I still don't know it.

Maybe that's just the way Jackie did it. And this is that you can't sing Usher's songs. You know, I know the word, yeah, twice. Yeah, I know the word, yeah, twice. How about you don't know that song, you're not a millennial. You know it. Also, how about, I was like, oh, my God, oh, my God. Is that doing anything for you?

What fuck? Okay, again, I think it's on them listeners, not on me knowing the songs. Or, like, if I heard these songs, I'd probably, but I think you guys, are just doing a dog-hit job. How about this? No, they're collabs. There are multiple people singing at once. You're coming in with a bad attitude today, McNeely.

The part of them put you out with the trash. I'm just saying, I'm trying to absorb the listener. Put him out with the trash. The other part of, yeah, hold it. How does this do anything for you? Boop boop boop. Boop boop. I'm telling you, but let me listen to the song.

Let me just listen to the songs after this. You're going to be like, oh, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. about sounding noises. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah. I just want you to listen to it so that you realize how right we are. Everybody who is a millennial

knows the subject. Jackie's correct. And she did a great job of singing it. Thank you. And I did a great job of singing like, oh my God. Yes. Okay, I'm listening to her right now. And you were perfectly right with the pooh-boop, boop.

Yeah. Yes. He's dancing. We were so right. He's not. He's dancing. If you were ever at a party in the 20s. You know this song.

You know this song. If you've ever been to a party. Yes. And then Lachshy's ready to go. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. What's up?

Yeah. Little John. Yeah, I was going to say, it's really a Liljohn song. It's not a little John song. That's the problem. I would have said Liljohn or even ludic. Oh, ludicrous, huh? Luda.

That's a guy. Hopefully he'll, at least we'll get ludicrous at the half-time Super Bowl, right? probably, right? Yeah. Which is awesome. That would be, because I fucking love ludicrous. That's the thing.

This is what Usher brings. Usher's going to bring a bunch of amazing. A bunch of amazing collaboratives. You know what? You're right. I'm changing my two. It might actually be really fun because he does have a lot of like really nostalgic, like hits over the last 15 years.

Great collabs. And he can dance his fucking ass off. So have I just... And he wears those little hats. He wears those little hats. And he's, I feel like. Sometimes they're big hats. Don't get me wrong.

I've seen him wearing a big hat, too. I feel like the clip of Aretha Franklin describing all of the different women singers. And when she's asked about Taylor Swift, she just goes, beautiful gowns. Which I think about it very frequently. I feel like I'm like, he's got great hats. Great hats. Yeah, dude. And we do have DJ got us falling in love featuring Pitbulls.

So I would love a Pitbull half time. Yeah, pit bull showing up. That's what I was saying. Yeah. That's great. Maybe Pitbull will show up. Yeah. I think Pitbull will show up.

because that thing, if you had said Pitbull was doing the halftime show, I would actually be thrilled. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no complaints about that. Yeah, and ludicrous. If you told me ludicrous was doing the halftime show, I'd be like, fuck. Yeah, because it's just fun. Yeah. They're just fun to watch.

And Ucher, at the same time is the one good thing about the fall of the house of Usher is that he can dance his fucking dick off. And even do this dance, he does like the Michael Jackson thing where he leans really far forward, but he lands on his hard dick. So he's just holding himself up on his dick. I mean, and it's awesome. It's called the kickstand. Yeah, the kickstand. I love watching it happen. It's so good when he does the kickstand. It's amazing.

Well, it'll be six minutes. He's held up like a bicycle. Dude, I'm sorry, bro. I got fucking dick on the mind. We just did the murder fist reunion shows here in L.A. And I was just blown away by how darkly horny we were in our twilight. I mean, every sketch is just cock and fucking. So much dick.

There's so much jerking off. And for those of you, that don't know, Holden and I were in a sketch group called Murder Fist, along with Henry and Eddie, and we just had our 20th anniversary, which really hurts the bones

to think about. The amount, we all talked about our acid problems over the weekend, and I don't mean tabs. Yes. Talks a lot about stomach stuff. A big bottle of tums. There was like all the liquor bottles on the counter, and then a

big bottle of tums right next to it. And it's just real sad that how much we're just like, oh, I'd have another drink, but oh, my ass, my indigestion is just, oh, my God. How different it is now. It used to be we do the show. We did late shows like the old days. We used to a monthly 11 p.m. show. And this time around, it was like me getting done, looking at the watch, immediately calling an Uber because I have to wake up at 7 in the morning and take care of a kid. And I just felt so, that's what made me feel fun.

It must make you feel old because we still partied until 4 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, exactly. I didn't get to do, I had to, yeah, I was just like, well, see you later. You know what I mean? Gotta go be your dad. Which is crazy. Which is great, because if you got in a time traveling machine, went to an 11 o'clock murder fish show in the year 2010 and said which one on the stage is going to be the one

leaving to take care of his kid. I don't think, I think that Holden might have the lowest amount of votes. Right. Yes. A hundred percent. It's so funny. So funny. They didn't trust your swimmers, you know.

Like there's no way his swimmers are fast enough. They're not surviving. And by the way, by the way, I don't know how this happened, but the first two rows of the first night were pretty much entirely taken up by a group of 18-year-olds. It was one of their birthday party or something? So we were originally told that the front row was filled with 18-year-olds that were there for a birthday party. Their parents were also there. Oh my God.

But not sitting with them. And they specifically called ahead and said they want to sit in the front row. But here's the thing. they didn't know anything about Murder Fist or who Murder Fist was. So at first we thought it was a bunch of 18-year-old girls and Henry's like, I can't do this. I can't have, like, we just,

there's so much jerking off and there's a sketch where Henry comes out just holding his dick and balls because he's naked. Yeah, naked covering his genitals. He's like, I'm not doing that in front of 18-year-old girls. We're going to cut the sketch. And then we looked out and we saw they were all broccoli-headed mother-bog.

Yeah, they were a couple of broccoli, dude. They were totally a couple broccoli. But I will say, and everybody was like, oh, man, they were totally alienated. They were totally, like, not into it. But I have to say, I was out there for our squirder sketch where I hosed down Ed and Henry with the... Yeah. And I keep on coming. And I shoot the concept of pussy juice at Ed and Henry while a pornography is taking place offstage.

And they were... Like you do. Many of them were dying left. Oh, I'm sure. Many of them were having a great time. I feel like... I'm old enough to... I feel like an 18-year-old isn't old enough to see a murder fist show, but I guess they are.

That's the thing. Yeah. But also, let's go back to this being the 20th anniversary. We've been doing those sketches since before they were born. Some of them from before they were born. Isn't that hurtful? That is hurtful. Yeah, it hurts.

It really hurts. It hurts because your body's already hurting just from the aging process and that there's an additional emotional pain. Did you feel younger though? I feel like we may have like seeped out some of their youth. I was about to say it, but you know what? We still got it. Yeah.

And that felt amazing. I feel like not to shoot our own horn too much, but we crushed. I'm sure. In front of an audience sold out house of 200 people. Yes, many of them were already like thrilled to be there. It wasn't like we had to win them over like, you know, in the old days doing it, you know, and whatever, any random comedy show. But still, we crushed.

Because my husband saw murder fist for the first time. And he still stays with you. Thoughts? Yeah, thoughts. Loved it. We talked about sketch for so long after the first night. We just sat and talked about just like our ideas, how we did it. Like what?

And like, he's so in awe, which I think is really cool that he's like, man, you guys like did it for the love of the game. And I'm like, honestly, we did. Truly never to make money ever at all. There was no other sco trip in New York City that seemed to love it as much as you guys did. And this was a time that was rich with fantastic sketch. groups in New York City. It was a, the landscape was fertile. There was a bunch of amazing people out there,

but Murder Fist just was a special thing. There was nobody else like you guys. Yeah, it was the art form. It was, it was important to us. We had integrity, which is layers to say, because there's so many cocks and, you know, blood and whatever. But it really, there was integrity to it for us.

We looked down on people who just did the same show over and over again, let's say. We even did two different shows both nights, and we only had three days to prepare. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. We had totally different sketches in the second night from the first, a little bit. Yeah, it was like a relentless experience. Like, you guys always had new sketches. You were always rehearsing. You never knew what you were going to see. Like, if you were going to see Murderface, you didn't know that you were going to see the same sketch. It was always different. It really, and I, I, it was so not my style of comedy, especially at the time. And I just fucking loved you guys. I was just like, man, I could watch them. do whatever. And it was,

you guys just really... Well, I feel like some of it was offensive to you, like when we did that Occupy Balls Street sketch, and we just started to suck it on balls, go like, idiots are on Wall Street, right? You know what I mean?

And all that. It was just kind of directly commenting on your experience in New York, which was kind of mean. We had that whole character that was like a clown version if you come out, and we'd beat them with plastic baseball pads.

No, man. It was because you always knew you were just going to have a good time if you showed up to a murder fish show. Right. Well, and that's the thing. We're, like, aggressive, and there's some anger there, and there's some violence and stuff. But, like, we were still there to give you a party and, like, give you a really good time. You know what I mean?

And that was also a big focus. I think that people don't think about a lot when it comes to putting on a comedy show, you know what I mean? It's like, you're there to give everybody a really fun time, you know? It's not about you. It's about them, you know? Well, and the way that I got to know you guys was because my. brother ran a weekly show at a record store called Sound Fix in Williamsburg in 2008. And booking a weekly show, also the show had an open bar from 7 to 8. And so he found that booking

a weekly stand-up show was very, the open bar helped bring in a big crowd. But before the open bar started, he was like, sometimes it is hard to bring in a big crowd for a weekly show. And he was like, if I book Murder Fist, the crowd is already there. And so he loved booking you guys because you brought the party to the show and every show felt like a party because you guys were in the audience and that was how I got to know Henry and Henry was like oh you're John's sister like I have a sister too who does comedy and at the time Jackie wasn't even out there yet she was still in college and so like that was how Henry and I bonded there you go and just a sweet babe and now here we are here we are but you know what I love more than comedy and sketch all that stuff is it love he loves love and

When Holden started our day And he said this to me And I was like, oh, like are you and Lexi Like going on like a date or something? And he meant Taylor Swift. No, I just meant. I know. Listen, her is. Get your cranky pants on because

Taylor Swift is once again dominating the headlines. But guys, the memes. I know you guys, I know a lot of you guys do not like us talking about her. I know you don't like her. But the memes. Oh my God. Her being at the football game. She's everywhere.

The amount of high school musical. memes of Travis Kelsey and Taylor love the amount of memes of of her walking into a football game twirling and spinning. It's just hilarious. I'll tell you why this is fun for Swifties. At least try to explain it. I mean, I'm sure...

By the way, just so everyone knows apparently Taylor Swift is dating Travis Kelsey who is like the big footballman from last year. Oh my God, you didn't know. Which we mentioned last week you can continue. We mentioned last we got the show but she went to the football game and sat with his mom. She said with his mom.

And then he scored the touchdown at the end of the game. And she screamed, let's fucking go! And she's freaking out in the booth. Yeah. She seemed to be having a nice time. You know, she deserves a night off. Okay, so this is why it's fun. Her last dude, Joe Alwyn, was this stuffy Britishman,

who was very private and never, like, wanting to, like, flaunt his lady or, like, be even, be, like, outwardly, like, I'm into her, right, or even. You know what I mean? He didn't do interviews. It was kind of good for her because it was her reputation era where she turtled up because of the drama from the Kanye Kim. She became the snake queen and all that stuff, right?

Then quarantine happened again. Great for Joe, right? They're hiding and she's making secret albums and they're in their little forest land. But then when the world up and back up, it was kind of annoying that he was like never wanting to like show any PDA or show any affection at all or say anything sweet. about her and then this guy she breaks up with him that this guy's like I'm a huge fan

went to see her show was like talk to interview was like I just wanted to give her a friendship bracelet with my number on it and I'm bummed I couldn't talk to her but I guess you know because she's doing 44 shows she can't really talk to people before or after to save her voice and he understands but I just love that he said I told her you know

I've seen you rock the stage in Arrowhead Stadium you might have to come see me come see me rock the stage in Arrowhead and see which one's a more lit. Right? It's like, there's this showmanship and he's very outwardly like, there's a previous interviewer's like, who's your celebrity crush?

He's like Taylor Swift. Aw, that's cute. He has had a crush on her for a lot of time. For a long time. He loves her music. He's very big about her. That's really cute. I think it's cute.

And this way that like she didn't get with Joe. And everybody's ready for her to get away from ye old Britain when it comes to men and get with a big muscular hoot and toton American man. What really everyone is ready for is her to get away from men entirely Holden, but that's okay. We will, if it's as Gaylers, this is how we stand. But it's funny, I'm seeing a lot of, so after the game, he rented out like an entire restaurant for her and the team to, like, have an after party at. And even that, like, people were tweeting like, wow, for the first time someone who's, like, dating Taylor Swift, like, understands that they're dating Taylor Swift. You know what I mean?

Also what's really cool is I saw a couple of articles that was like Taylor Swift makes people in a restaurant leave the restaurant. What they did was, which I actually think is very classy. You know, classy for a celebrity to do because they did not have to do this. They straight up went in and we're like, we're paying for everybody's meal in here, finish up as fast as you can get out so that we can have the entire restaurant. But they paid for everybody's meal who was in the restaurant for them to leave. And they were at least able to take stuff with them, is what it's... Also, Beyonce is a queen. Just establishing that.

How about the fact that she did caviar bumps with Sophie Turner? We talked about that. Well, here's the thing. Now, I don't know if this is going to be your... I hope it's not your conspiracy theory, Holden, because I've been seeing a lot of conspiracy theories that are talking about... So we all know of the night that Taylor Swift went out with Sophie Turner. Everyone was just like, yes, queens, go out.

live it and they had this like they had this night out. bitch about your ex because of course I had forgotten they both date. I forgot that Taylor Swift is also an ex of JoJoanna. Oh yes. Well also this is coming on the heels of Jo Jonas seemingly kind of throwing Sophie Turner under the plus. Hugely. Yes. With the with the PR stuff.

I mean at least that's what one assumes based on like what they're trying to report in the news. And you're like, that's your team doing that. And then also it comes again on the heels of, well, I guess I think the day after that, the news came out that she was suing Joe Jonas because he was apparently withholding, allegedly withholding his kids' passports so that they couldn't return to England, which was the original plan, apparently. But apparently that has been resolved. They have now agreed to keep the kids in New York City, but that's yucky.

Yeah, very, yeah. It's getting really yucky. So there is a conspiracy out there that in this night of them, hanging out. Tate was like, hey, Bay, how about I push this dating thing like in front of you so that I can like hide you a little bit with what's going on and maybe take some of the heat off of you guys? Nice. That's what the conspiracy is, is that all of this Travis Kelsey stuff is actually her trying to help out her friend. And she literally was like, yo, Trav, do you want to like have this big publicity

media circus with me? And so he was like, Okay. And that they're just doing this whole thing as a ploy. But maybe it is a ploy. Maybe this conspiracy is real, right? And there is a ploy. And then they fall in love anyway. And then we get it as a whole mark movie.

Can we talk? Because I feel like you have a better read now, too, Jackie, because of this reality show, which we're going to talk about. But what do you, how do you feel about Travis? I mean, I think me loves. He does seem very. Charming. Yeah, let's talk about this reality show that he did in 2016.

Well, especially because I don't know if you saw like the little video of him and the other footballist looking up at Taylor and his friend did like a sarcastic like, hey Taylor, like up at her in the box, which was really, really cute. Also, the football reaction, the football player reactions to seeing her. Did you see the montage of each like football player look up and seeing her and being like, oh shit? Like, oh shit, Taylor Swift is here. I just think that is so cute, like, that all the football players were like, oh, my God, it's Taylor Swift. And by the way, just to give them their dude who's listening to this and screaming about this in their car, other people like hate it, right? They like, they hate him and they like hate it. Why is he, oh, is he, he's not a badman.

No, he's like, that's the thing he's pretty good. But people don't like the Kansas City Chiefs. And we do have to also acknowledge that they should change their name probably at some point. That's fair. Well, that's not on track. That's not on him. By the way, I'm calling him trap now. Yeah, no, we're totally calling him.

I'm traff now. That's not on him. I love the big strong football man. Don't you just want to be picked up by a big strong football man? You know what you mean? In the night, would you like that? That's why I want to watch catching Kelsey, which is the tight ends reality dating show that was on E like six years in 2016. Jackie's lust is palpable right now, by the way.

I didn't. I didn't. And first I didn't catch it, and just now she's making this crazy. Like, her, she's got this lust. It's just the false. I just look like Jack Nicholson, okay? No, and if you have a lust, when you didn't get Botox on your, on your smile? Yeah, maybe.

She has a Cheshire cat's grin. She just disappeared and all I saw were the teeth. That's where she's at right now. But here's the thing. I want to watch the, I want to watch the dating show, but like he's nowhere near as like, as he is now. and I like him better now because he's throwing that out. Well, we all like the thicker because,

because, dare I say, Maddie and Joe, they were like Spindley Britishmen. So this is like a fun reaction to that. Big hoot-to-d. This is the first, I think, of all the dudes that she's dated that I'm like, get it. Yeah. Yeah, bitch.

It's interesting because your type is a mountain man, but football man and mountain, football man could be born out of a mountain man, you know? Totally. You could. And this is the first, like, brawny dude. I mean, that's why. because every guy, like, she usually dates

as, like, kind of a quiet boy, sat, like, they're a musician or a actor, or, and they're always, like, spindly and, like, you know, they wear droopy clothing when they go out to the park. Yeah. Oh, I know, that's, and he dwarfs. Both of your response. Yeah.

And he dwarfs her for the first time, which is the first dude to ever do that. Like, when she was walking with him, leaving the game together, he was those days. Oh, my God. Did you see the getaway car? Oh, my God. The getaway car.

And that's the cool thing he flunts And he's like, get in my convertible We're gonna ride into the sunset And I love that as opposed to before It was like, let's run and scamper into the limo Like if you ever watch her like leave someplace with Joe he's like running ahead of her Dashing into the limo

Like trying to get away from everything And Travis is like Fuck it, we're fucking famous bitch Let's go You know what I mean? Hoping this motherfucker fucking convertible Let's fucking ride bro I don't care if it's a PR move

I don't care if she's doing I don't give a shit. In fact, I would love it even more if this was a PR move that they decided on together that they were doing to save Sophie Turner from a little bit again. That makes me... And then in my head, I'm like, maybe it's because Tay is actually in love with Sophie Turner and don't let me go down that game around now. I consider that as well.

That would also be nice. Oh, yes. We must consider it. It would be nice. All right, the galas are getting delusional, I think. The galers are... A delusion is starting to set in, I think, a little bit. No.

But I do, I just think it's fun And it is, it is what it is. And he also looks like he's got Riz According to his dating reality show Because it's like the little interview clips that I watch from it It's like these awkward women And he's just like a big dopey dog boy And but like seems to have like a ballast with a heart of gold

And I dare I say it's true? I don't know. Yeah, I mean it's it's just. it is interesting that she is like such she's obviously been a massive pop star for a very long time, but as we've talked about plenty of times, she's just dominating right now, dominating the headlines, dominating with,

you know, eras and whatever in the movie. And it's, it is interesting to have her, to see her kind of like almost, it seemed like her being in the box and waving and stuff. She's not usually like, quote unquote,

like flaunting it, right? Like she's usually just like, I am touring. and I like she's not like a heat I work hard she doesn't do a ton of like look at me look at me stuff and it seems like that's what you were saying holding with the Joe Allen stuff it was like spirit myself away you know between shows

and whatever and so if you're annoyed by her you're probably going to be deeply annoyed by her being like look at me I'm dating a football player I'm in the box and I'm cheering but I feel like if if you find her you know even remotely charming it's like yeah you are like having a great you are at the top of your game, as Holden would say. And like, why not just be like, yeah, man, I'm dating a football player and it's football season.

I'm going to be a big attention seeking beyond. Kansas City is, the team is thrilled, like the, you know, promotional people. Also, Travis Kelsey Jersey's sales have gone up 400% since she was attended that game. And it's just hilarious because now all the Swifties are trying to learn football. Wasn't it that way? That's why she can't be... She would obviously be the most... In terms of who's, like, very, very hot right now,

she would be the most logical Super Bowl halftime person, but she, like, can't because... She said no. She said no, because she knows that her people are so insane, it would, like, shut down the football game, you know? Like, there would be too much. Yeah, and she's literally too big for it, which is hilarious, because it's the fucking Super Bowl halftime show.

I want to save our listeners a little bit. The New Chapel Roan album is incredible. So was the new Olivia Rodrigo album. Oh, so. sour. I got to get to the record store. I got to get that. The new Carly R. Jepson and Chapel R. Gapel R. Guts. We can stop talking about Taylor. We can start talking about

how Olivia Rodriguez is scared of birds. Yeah, she's scared of birds and also I got waitlisted for her fucking live show. Yet again, do you want the ultimate Holden-McNeely, page seven experience at the Olivia Rodriguez show in L.A. With the breeders opening. You were so on top of that. You were so

excited. You were like as soon. as you found out that the pre-sale was going to start. Yeah, new game plan for me. If a concert like that is happening and there's like a pre-sale sign-up, I literally have to call Jackie and

Walter and everybody else who lives in L.A. who would be interested in attending that concert and ask all of them to sign up for the pre-sale. That's where we're at. I can't just get tickets and surprise my friends. I've got to get everybody implicated.

And my brother to just, just, you know, for the hell of it. I also did want to discuss caviar bumps because I feel like that is just so not something I would be into. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, by the way, for those of you that are wondering what a caviar bump is, it is fancy caviar that is licked off the back of your hand. And they are $20 a pop where T. Suway and Sophie Turner were hanging out. And that's just, I don't want little tiny, I don't like. the little balls. I don't like little bowls. I like the little bowls, but I don't want to look

them off my hands. Well, it's just a very funny simulation of like cocaine, nightclub, restaurant culture in New York. You know what I mean? That's the funny thing for me. But it's, it makes me think about this is the problem. It sounds appetizing to me to eat caviar. It does not sound appetizing to inhale it through my nose, you know? And so calling it a bump. If anything, they should call it like a caviar tequila shot or something, because it's much more like licking salt off your hand than it is like fucking huffing cocaine into your and by the way if you're gonna do a caviar bump please remember to bring fentanyl strips okay you've got to test your caviar bomb test your caviar it's funny it's definitely one of

those things that like so yeah i love that tay and sophie were both doing them as well because it's like weirdly like high-end fancy and trashy at the same time and i love that mix you know i I absolutely love a, there was a restaurant in Bedstay for a while called Doer Dine that was like exactly zeroed in with an amazing chef. Justin, you'll see him on the Food Network. He was a Food Network star winner. And his restaurant was called Duer Dine and he like zeroed in on like, what can I do the fanciest and also the trashiest? So like one time he had this huge like Taco Bell Christmas feast. But he did picklebacks there.

But it was like picklebacks. They were in, they were like gushers. And so it was like this fancy membrane where you would do the membrane of whiskey and then the membrane of pickle juice. And it was like so fun to be like what can we what are like. It's like Willie Wonka. Yes. Like what are like the. But not Timothy's.

Yes. Right. It is like Willie Wonka. Like the dot like what's a dive bar favorite that we can turn into like fine dining is such a cool idea. I love that shit. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

That shit's great. I love that shit. Yo, totally impromptu segue, but I got to call it out in the middle of the show because we need you at these live shows next week. We are back in the road for our final road stretch for a minute now, okay? So we don't know when we're going back in the road. Probably not until next year, aside from the San Diego show. So come catch us. Royal Oak, Michigan, just outside of Detroit, the Comedy Castle, October 3rd, October 4th, we're going to be Columbus, Ohio,

October 5th, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and Natalie will be at the show. It'll be awesome. We're going to rock and roll our brains off. And we're going to party pretty hard this time. So if you want to see us drunk on stage, this is the week to see it. Lastpodcastnetwork.com, get your tickets. Yeah, we're going to be fumbling and bombing. And this is the week.

I'm just kidding. It's going to be an amazing show. We've never gotten too drunk to do the show before, but maybe this is the time. This might be the time. MJ questionably in Chicago. Listen, I felt bad afterwards. but I did fine. It was just my mental self-evaluation.

I was like, I could have had one fewer drinks. You were completely fine. But I will say this, especially after this last run, this show is so the opposite of what I was just joking about. It is so tight and so much fun. And I love doing it. And I'm really excited to do it one last time this year. Yeah.

It's a really fun show. And I really, when we thought was going to be our last show in Austin in January, and we didn't know if we were going to get more dates. I remember being up on stage with you guys and being like, I don't want to stop doing this. And so is this going to be a little bit better sweet to know that these are our last three, you know, dates for now? I know. Absolutely.

Lastpodcastnetwork.com. That is next week, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Michigan, Columbus, Ohio, and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the October 3rd, 4th, and the 5th. Back to you guys. Back to me. Hi. Yeah, you're still here. He's not going anywhere.

I'm the problem. I'm the problem. Just dreaming about membranes over here. Oh, my God. Love a good membranes. Oh, I love to suck out membranes. Love a good membrane. No, I don't.

It just makes me think of the lamb brains that Henry and I were recently talking about on good pud that we ate that were just crispy on the outside. Then you talk about a gusher and then you go to eat it and just kind of shot into the back. Wait, you ate that live on stream? No. He ate that at a very fancy meal. Oh, okay. That Henry may eat weird meats for his birthday. Yeah, Henry loves his weird meats.

No, it wasn't. It was disgusting. I need to... But I did it. You know, sometimes you got to do something for... I'm so glad you and Henry are doing good pud. And also, I hope to never hear about another pudding from you two again. Boy, you scared of puttie.

Yeah, I don't want to know about puttie. The burger pudding was great. I'm sure puttie's fine, too. No, the thing with putt tie is that there was a lot of uncooked fish sauce. in it. So if you know fish sauce, it is like, I'm down with some fish sauce. Right. But like it was like you put it in your mouth and it tasted like pad tie, but like your brain knew, like your mouth knew what was wrong. Right. And so it really was, the burps were really, really rough. Good put on the last podcast network stream,

Twitch stream. Last podcast network got Twitch and we got them in lock. And we got tears of a clown this week and Jackie's joining me for that. So Wednesday at 9. PMET join us on the last podcast. It will have already happened by the time this episode comes out. Does it go check it out? Oh, what's the VOD? Watch the VOD. Yes, but Olivia Rodriguez is scared of birds.

And she's got a great new album. This sophomore album is unbelievable. I'm really, really digging it. But I also really understand and agree with her about birds. I'm very... Really? It makes you think of the man in the swaps in the Evergible. outside in the Everglades

when I was on a gator boat and he told us that he had stayed up all night long because he and his son went out and they had to go anaconda hunting because they had to get rid of the anacondas that were out there because they kept swallowing the gators so they were

chasing after the anacondas all night long and what he told us is that people are always scared of the gators they're scared of the gators but what you've got to be scared of are the birds because they've got knives strapped to their faces and that knife can go right through your neck. And he's saying this as we're like going past a big like blue heron that does look like it has a knife strapped to its face.

You know what? And so he said people really sleep on the herons and you should really be scared of the herons. Are herons murdering men? He had a friend that got killed by a heron because the beak went through his neck. I want to back this up. I want to back this up because I just saw a recent post about the Australian magpie, which they say, you know, if you go to Australia, you think you need to be scared of the spiders and the snakes, nay, nay. The Australian magpie, the medium-sized corvette related to crows, chase, and ravens, they will hunt you down. Peck and claw, your head, neck, and face, and people have died.

Wow. And they're the real menace of Australia. And they're the real, yeah. It's a big problem, apparently. They're fucking asshole birds. They really are jerks. They're dinosaurs, you guys. Olivia Rodriguez was right.

They are dinosaurs. And I had never thought of it that they don't, you know, that they don't have anything like a, she said she's scared of them because none of their body parts are even remotely similar to humans. And I was like, Olivia Rodriguez, what about lizards? And then I was like, oh, my God, she's right. Lizards have arms and legs.

I have it right here, though. Apparently also she dated a bird in high school and the bird was mean to her. when they broke up. I get it. I get it. Yeah. So, very sure to dating somebody else like two weeks later. Yeah, it was a goal. It was a goal.

And it was a mean goal. And the goal talked bad about her to her friends. And that would cause a lot of problems for her. Oh, and some days he was nice to her. Yes. Right. Very hot and cold. Yeah, yeah.

Speaking of birds is a great segue into the most appropriate article I've ever sent in a page seven link page. And that is, scientists say. that new AI can translate what chickens are saying. And the amount of cluck puns in this article is a lot. It's a lot. Made me feel like I was reading about, you know, the fucking KFC gibbets again because there

was a lot of... Oh, MJ, I forgot to tell you, Jeff got me Taco Bell gibbets. Do they smell? No, they don't. They're just Taco Bell gibbts. It's for the best that they don't smell, though. That's good. The subhead of this...

article about the scientists using AI to translate what chickens are saying is it's a clucking great leap for science. And then under that it just says buck, buck, buck, for no reason. Just say fuck. Can we just say fuck? Come on. I mean, it's like, does everything have to be YouTube these days? Just say the word

fuck. We have to say clucking. No, but saying clucking is so funny in this context because it would be insane if this subhead of this article about chickens and science was, it's a fucking great leap for science, right? I think it's hilarious when people use clucking in articles about chickens because you're essentially invoking the word fuck in a way. Totally. Never need to.

Nobody needs to say fucking this much when you're talking about chickens. But we say clucking. And I think that's great. I will also say, this is saying that the AI, essentially they can find the emotional state of the animal. And AI would like translate that. So it's not going to be like, oh, fucking Greg's giving me a hard time this morning or something like that. It's just more like, I'm a sad bird today. I need help and love.

But what if it goes further than that and we can start talking to the chickens? I love that, man. Why are they doing it with chickens and not dogs and cats, the animals where everyone famously wants to know what they think? Right, right. I think you got to start somewhere, though. You got to start with the chickens. Because cats are going to give off like their one way, but there's secretly not. They're like, no, everything's fine.

No, fuck you. Everything's fine. It turns out cats are just saying, fuck you. all the time. Yeah, all the time. Completely. And then dogs, yeah, I know the emotional state

of the fucking dog. That's loud and clear. I love you. I love you. I love you so much. I love you. Yeah. Or they get weirdly sad

about their immortality and that's fucking it. That's what it goes back and forth. You know what I mean? No, you're right. We don't need AI for that. We know what the cats want. We know what the dogs want.

I know what cats want. All right. Jesus God. I just want to know what the chickens have to say. And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right. All right.

then you're wrong. No, come on. Hallmark's coming out with all of these 42 original holiday movies this year. I love this article. Every year, there's always the article that it's like, Hallmark is putting out all of these insane new movies this year and how much they are trying to suck their own dick of like, do you see?

We're inclusive now. Do you see? Yeah. Hallmark is trying. Do you see? Oh, yeah. Big time. We see you, Hallmark.

We see you try. And of course it's great. Representation is great. It's like they're responding to the whole you're very white and heteronormative thing, but it does remind me of like 90s inclusivity. Like the way that 1990s inclusivity was just like, here's a picture of a group of kids

and one uses a wheelchair. Oh, it's like, it's very BK. Kids. Yes, it's BK. K. Kids. Yeah, it's BK.K. Kids for sure. And it's not bad. It's just like not so you shouldn't, you don't need to necessarily then take a victory lap around

about how you've like solved Abel is. I think is the problem when there's a little bit of self-congratulations going on. Oh, the self-congratulations is thick here. The PR is like, did you see? We have a visually impaired character played by a visually impaired actor. Do you see it? And then they take their hat off. They do a big bow.

And it's called, by the way, the visually impaired one, the movie is called My Christmas Guide. Ah, good. Oh, good. Yeah. And they're just, there's some same sex love stories. They've got some, oh my God, they've got ha ha ha ha Hanukkah movies. They've got a ha ha Hanukkah. Oh, yeah, the explanation is rough too.

Like in this like little, you know, Yahoo promotion. It's like, it's just the way that they're trying to like non-traditional families like LGBT people, you know. They don't know how to say it. Yeah. And it's like, it's all to suggest. that it's like, it's just so awkward to be like, we're trying to get all of those weird niche markets like black people. You know, it's like, please, go.

Stop. I mean, yeah, do it, but don't, but don't know. Just do it. Like, you don't need to do it. Just do it. And we're going to watch the, we're going to watch the Hallmark. I know not everyone is into Hallmark, but you know that MJ and I are, and we always have it on like starting in the end of, you know,

right after Halloween, I've got it on in the background. I just have random and I look up. It depends on my emotional state. Yes. I begin November 1st or right after Thanksgiving. But yeah. And it's... Of course, if you know me, I just put on the torture scene from a clockwork orange on repeat

during the holiday season. That really gives me a bliss for the holiday. He's always trying to cut out the breasts of all my shirts and I'm like, hold in, stop. I'm not talking about that scene. I'm talking about the scene where he's forced to watch all the stuff with his eyes. But I'm talking about the rape scene, Jackie. Jesus Christ. I'm not talking about that one.

I'm talking about the one where he's like, oh, God, please, help me, please. and he's got his eyes wired open. I think that you would end up loving the holiday movies if you watch them like that. I think that maybe you should give it a chance. I'll do that for you if you want. I'll cut open your eyes. There you go, please. How about the fact that one of the movies is called Never Been Christ?

Yeah. Like Christmas. Apostrophe D. It makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. Is the guy named Chris? Is the main guy named Chris? Well, I mean, it's home for the holidays. BFF's Naomi and Liz reconnect with

High School crush Chris Silver A complex love triangle forms forcing them to take stock of their lives and find the value of friendship. Hold it. Yeah, I find the value of fucking getting that DIA. Yeah, yeah, no. But there is a party of five reunion.

Oh my God. It's like two people. It's not a reunion. Yeah, it's only Lacey Chabelle. Well, that's what the article says, Holden. It's only Lacey Chabere and Scott Wolfe, but it is a reunion and it's a Scottish-themed holiday movie.

Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. I hear the whole plot is, if you visit me one more time on Christmas, I'm going to cut off my ear, or a finger, sorry, I'm going to cut off my finger. Oh, yeah. And so it's a whole, but it's apparently an allegory

about the Civil War. Pulling your finger and, like, not farting for Christmas. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's terrible. But they're in a tough position because they do, everyone wants the formula of a Hallmark movie, right? Like, it's true that they should try to make things more inclusive and more diverse. Of course, everybody always should. And it's like, and everyone

wants the formula, big city bitch who loves her career goes back to small town. Is it problematic? Yes, of course, that's what people like about it. And so it's so funny to have them be like, this time it's a big city bitch who gets to keep being a big city bitch. You know, that's their take on progressivism. Yes, right. And also there's a kid in a wheelchair, which is great. But also, You guys are trying. You can only reinvent the wheel so many times, I think, is their problem. And at some point, the momentum here, you know, the wheels are going to fall off the... The chair.

The car. Yeah. Oh, okay. I was thinking a car, but I hope they don't fall off the chair. I mean, he just lobbed that right to me anyways. I think it's time for... That's right. Celebrity conspiracy. Hit me with the share.

Do you believe it? Did they sabotage Jimmy Fallon? Did they do it? Who's they? I'll explain who is they. I don't know. There might be a lot going on politically or whatever when it comes to writing and acting these days. By the way. Or is it one non-binary person.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not over yet though, right? It's not done, right? No, they're just, they're like no one. Yeah, it's tentative. But seems like things are moving forward in a positive direction for the right side of history. Yes.

Not the big mean money bag man No apparently like there was a lot of like really great moves It's it's supposedly very good So that's amazing yeah Sags next baby yeah yeah it's next and the There's a lot going on because I think that the video games just got pulled in And the animation contract is up I voted yes for strike authorization Yes I mean video games is such a crime how little video game

people get paid. And it is so much work. It's so much work. It's so much work. So much more work than like a normal show because it's thousands and thousands. I was just doing, oh my God, I forget how much. Stephen Merchant in Portal 2. I just did the Portal 2 episode for Wizard of Brouser.

And it was like thousands of lines of dialogue. Like we had to do for that game. Oh yeah. It's so much more than a normal TV project. It's crazy. And as far as I know, like they don't get residuals. It's literally you get paid for your day of work. Yeah.

And it's not a lot of money at all. It's not a lot of money at all. It's not for how much work it is. And which is crazy because, I mean, think about how many homes that's in. How many, so anyways, this is all the thing. All right, but did they sabotage Jimmy Faler? Whoa.

Did you guys catch my joke? They may be one non-binary person sabotaged Jimmy. Yeah, yeah. MJ. It's got it, MJ. Yeah, it was me. You get your tickets to last spot. I guess that's never got off.

If you want to give some off-the-cuff, Just amazing. I'll repeat it if I didn't think you are. That's what I'll promise you at the live show. Yeah, you'll do it at the meet and greet afterwards. You'll do that line. All right. Hi, Holden and MJ and Jackie and everyone.

This one comes in from Hana. First off, thank you so much for the Atlanta show. It was super amazing. Well worth misreading the door versus showtime and being the first person standing outside alone like a huge dork. Oh, no. I have a conspiracy theory about the whole Jimmy Fatsy. Allen thing. First off, yeah, no doubt that, like y'all said, being like the guy at these talk

shows for a thousand years leads to some ego and attitude issues. And it's no secret that a bunch of people leave SNL with drug and or alcohol problems. So by no means saying this whole thing is just top to bottom made up. I'm sure there's been bad days and weird shit. However, I find it mega suspicious that he's been a known name for what? Over 20 years at this point and a headline talk show host for almost 15 and the first rumbling of anything other than he shrinks a lot, and we all know it, gets published as a fully fleshed out tell-all within a week of Strike Force 5 podcast launch. The talk shows represented there have some of the largest staffs of any programs currently

produced by four of the Big Boys studios involved in the strike. NBC Universal for Fallon and Myers, Disney for Kimmel, Paramount for Colbert, and Warner Brothers for Oliver. And the whole point is so those loads of people can be paid and not be pressured to call off the strike out of sheer financial necessity. so there's huge incentive for the studios to try to totally stop it or at least wreck the listener numbers. Questlove was on the Conan O'Brien podcast around the same time,

recorded and scheduled weeks, if not months before going on and on about how incredible Fallon is to work for and always has been. And Conan fully agreed double suspicious that all the daytime shows, not just Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Hudson, etc. did too. Then announced they were going to cross the picket line and come back literally immediately after that story broke.

strong, oh shit, what if they come for me next vibes to me? Genuinely, my guess is that Fallon was the only one of the five late-night host to whoever had enough semi-rumors to build on, so that's the fuse the studios tried to light. Universal's the one that cut all the trees at their studios down with like two seconds of the strike starting so picketers wouldn't have shade. So it's, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, dude. It's like the biggest supervillain move ever.

Oh, yeah. So it seems totally plausible that after multiple months that they be throwing God knows what out trying to shut it down. This is my first self-created conspiracy, and I'm very passionate about it. Love to the whole LLP team, Hannah. That's a good one, man. That's a good one.

And that's made that... It's a good one. That was Hannah's own homegrown. Wow, that's a great one. I honestly think I fucking believe. I think I can agree, yeah. I know. I mean, it's tough because it's one of those things where, again,

it seems like there was some reason to believe that Jimmy Fallon might have, you know, there was reason to believe the description of him and how he ran his workplace. However, all of the evidence that she presented is very convincing. And I actually totally would not put it past the studios to try to sabotage, you know, the strike force thing. Right, because that was like one of the big things helping the strike for sure. I guess I'll say this, though.

I don't think for certain people Fallon was great to work for I also don't think any talk show person like big person I don't think for some some people on that staff in some iteration it might not be as bad as Ellen allegedly

but I think everybody on some level is hard to work is not fun to work for who's like all the pressures on them and it's their name and everything right maybe it's not maybe Questlove has a great time with them but maybe someone over on the writing end doesn't.

Yeah, right? And I think that that is just a blanket situation for like any one of these. Yeah, totally. There's so much pressure, there's so much ego, it's just inevitable. Right, right. And of course, you can't necessarily, you can't just go off vibes, right?

You have to go off evidence. Right, right. Totally. So anyways. Wow, what a good one. Thank you, Anna. I love a conspiracy too where like the person, like the best conspiracies are the ones

where it feels like very powerful, shady organizations are behind them. That's what this is, which is the best. Don't trust them. Yeah, but also I'm sure Jimmy Fallon's like a nightmare. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, the vibes, it checks out. Yeah, probably. Probably.

Well, I guess we all believe, so I guess it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Props and costumes that physically injured actors. Yes. Oh, God. Good list. I actually, Holden was bringing up that scene in Clockwork Orange.

That scene, when Malcolm McDowell's eyes are propped open during the brainwashing sequence of a Clockwork Orange, his cornea got scratched badly enough that he temporarily lost his sight in one eyes. Yes. I mean, I fucking believe it. I mean, it's crazy that that was practically done the way it was. I wouldn't want that. I don't want those middle pieces that close, like, gripping on my eyeballs. So scary. legitimately terrified.

We've talked about this before when people think like oh, actors' jobs are just so cushy. And I'm not saying that like, don't get me wrong, in comparison to many, many jobs, they definitely are. But also oftentimes, you know, not only actors, but like stunt performers

and people on set that are like that are asked to do very dangerous things and I'm not saying that they're not prepared for, but some people aren't. And like sometimes you just got to get the fucking shot and that's how it goes. Also, also, how fucking weirded it is it that I brought up that one random scene from that one random movie earlier in this episode and it's on the list?

It's on the list. I haven't thought about that scene at all in years. So that's weird. Anyways, go on. Maybe you need to watch it. Yeah, sure. I'll rewatch it for the millionth time. Come on.

I was one of those college kids. I've had that movie memorized. In Lord of the Rings, the two towers, Vigo Mortensen swung a kick at a helmet on the the ground, assuming it was a rubber prop. It was, in fact, steel, and he broke his toe. I really hate the line after this that says, the toe hours more life. Also, if you were at all a fan of those movies, you know this one factoid. This is like the most, because they kept the shot in the movie.

So it's one of my favorite. So, yeah, especially if you have the extended Lord of the Rings with the extra feature DVDs, they like cover that whole thing. But yes, he definitely, they kept the shot. They kept it in. It is very relatable, you know, like when you kick, you want to, like, kick something in a huff and then you hurt yourself. And they are yourself.

It's the bad, yeah, it's just the ultimate. You get even more angry. And this probably made him very upset. And when he was portraying the darkness in legend, Tim Curry went through lengthy processes to both apply and remove his nightmarish makeup. One day he got impatient and ripped it off, tearing his skin so badly he couldn't be. filmed for a week.

That is a nightmare. That's why you take it off slowly, Tim Curry. You know better than that. But again, to your point, Jackie, like that, like, acting as a cushy job or whatever, like, yes, it is for the people who are lucky enough to, like, make it millions and all of that. But, yeah, for a lot of people...

But many people don't. Many people don't. They're working actors their whole lives, and they never, like, reach total financial stability. And also, even for the ones who make millions, yeah, a lot of that, it's labor, you know? It's still labor. And a lot of it is...

at really serious risk to yourself. Long days. Very long days too. And you can get really fucking hurt, you know. Well, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze is the best thing about Batman and Robin, according to this list. But one element of the costume fucked him up.

Batteries from LEDs fitted behind his teeth leaked, burning the inside of his mouth. Christ. Ah. The goggles, they do nothing. Why are they putting batteries in his mouth? Good Lord. What does he say?

Freeze you later. Yeah, yeah. I used to meet you. A lot of fun puns. It's so long. We rewatched it not that long ago, and you forget how long it is. Yeah, that's the problem with it. I think it would actually be a really big, like, cult classic at this point.

If it wasn't for the sheer length of it. it. And I also just feel like all the bad guys are working so good in this movie. They're all leaning into the camp, but all of the protagonists are just cardboard. They don't get that they're in a campy movie. They're playing completely piss poor. But like, Uma Thurman crushes as poison ivy, I think. She's so fun. She's so fun. All of her choices are crazy and fun and fun to watch. So if only Clooney and the guy who played Rob and Alicia Silverstone understood

the movie they were in and had fun with it and it was about a half an hour shorter, it would actually be like beloved in hindsight I think. Wow, maybe I got to watch Batman and Robin again. Honestly, it's fun. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of fun

to rewatch. Again, too long, but whatever. Especially if you watch it the way it seems parents watch things. You'll just watch it in chunks. Just don't watch the last chunk. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't matter how long. Totally.

It'll take me four days no matter what. Yeah, exactly. Man, I remember this version of Popeye. I loved the Robin Williams version of Popeye. And Robin Williams apparently took a can of spinach to the head while filming. And although the vegetable gave the titular Sailor Man Super Strength, it gave Williams a gash requiring several stitches. Well, the classic story of this Popeye movie is this was the most drug-fueled, crazy

party film set atmosphere. Like everyone was just blasting fucking lines. Like the Mario Brothers movie, right? Well, they were hammered. Mario Brothers movie was different. Because Mario Brothers movie, they, like, realized they were in a bad movie and just started getting, like, morning wasted. Like, started just drinking, like, vodka in the morning.

Like, they were like, fuck it. And they injured themselves because of that. This movie was a little different. I think they all felt they were making a good movie, which people do love this Popeye movie. It's very weird. It's very... I forget the director,

but it's a very good director. But apparently, like, it was, because they were all, like, on this weird set that was like an island or something. I mean, they were just fucking getting wasted. Hell yeah. Well, poor C-3PO, in the first day of shooting the first Star Wars,

Anthony Daniels costume shattered, and a shard stabbed him through the foot. Yikes. He said he was also frequently mistaken for a prop and man-handled. Oh, my God. I would be so annoyed if people tried to just start moving my body. Stop touching me.

Stop touching me. Gary, I'll get on this set in just a second and give you a hand. First, I've got to fuck this robot prop. Wait, please don't. I'm a man. They got a talking one. I can't believe what technology is. George Lucas is a master and just starts fucking that robot.

This is really insane. While shooting Raiders of the Lost Ark, Harrison Ford's hat fell off so many times that he ended up stapling it to his head, an unorthodox move that he still has scars from over four decades later. Harrison, there must be a better way. It's not to be a better way. That's like circus freak. Yes.

I just love the idea of like in certain shots you just see like blood trickling from under his hat. Stapling it to his head. God, what a madman. And last but not least, speaking of stunt performers, shooting cyber. George, Jean-Claude Van Dam accidentally struck stunt performer Jackson Rock Pinckney in the eye with a prop knife. Pinkney lost his eye and sued Van Dam, eventually being awarded $487,500. Man, that is not enough for a lost eye.

Lost eyeball. Good Lord. Half a mill. Yeah, it's not enough. That is not enough. Damn. But boy, did I want to kiss John Claude Van Dam when I was young. All right, please.

He cheated on his wife with Kylie Minogue when he was filming the Street Fighter movie. That's my favorite fact about doing that episode that I learned. And he said it was the worst, deepest depths of his addiction during that time. Oh, fun. But yeah, Kylie Binogue played Cammy, and she's fun. You know what you mean? And he banged her. And cheated on it.

Anyways, so he cheated on his wife. All right. Hot facts. Hot facts. That is a hot fact. No, wait, it's back to me. It's back to you. I can't see.

I think I'm going. Blind. Items. Oh, we can't see them. This one named permanent A-Lis singer who has acted and would love an Oscar isn't letting her husband travel with her right now because she's hooking up with one of her bodyguards. Beyonce. Yes. Good for her, lemonade.

Yes. Get your lemonade, J.Z. Get your lemonade, Beyonce. Except for it's not lemonade, is it, J-Z? It's piss. It's piss water. In my head, I see this like a little. an Eleanor Roosevelt type situation

where everybody knows she bangs the bodyguard but nobody brings it up. Is that an Eleanor Roosevelt situation? Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Eleanor Roosevelt banged her bodyguard and she was so in love with him but also had like many ladies on the side too.

I was fucking all over the place. I thought she was for the ladies. To be fair, his name was Rick Suck. Yeah, Rick Suck. So if you named that. Oh, this is a big football man. All right. You'll know this one, but we didn't get a chance

talk about it, so I'm including it because I scrambled to get a replacement blind, and I don't like the other blind. Very subtle to aim your phone in such a way to make sure the photographer catches your home screen and the love and the love the meme actor has for you. You know what, though? You aren't on his home screen. Hey, Tai

Chickapai! Oh, Timbay in the wind. All the blinds are like Timothy, Tayne, don't give a fuck about Kylie. Honestly, I didn't even realize they were still together. I thought They had already broken up.

I know. I already saw a blind they broke up, but I guess they are, I think it's just, it's all, I feel like everything with the fucking Kardashian Jenner camp is they're all, is all full of shit. But, you know, I think it's,

it's totally like, everything they do is a move, right? Everything. Did you imagine living like that? No. Everything you do is a move, as a statement. No.

Is a move. I make statements all the time on stream or something like that that are useless. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I'm, you know, yeah, I'm, I'm, knee boy or something. You know what I mean? I say something that's just so dumb and annoying that people want to throw up. Yeah. And everybody's always puking when you're watching

your Twitch streams. But yeah, it's crazy how much people puke when they watch me. Check me out. Tushat, too. Hold there. All right. What do you think, though? Do you think their relationships? Do you think he's like into it or what? I mean, he was like cozying up at the Yonsei show who's cheating with their bodyguard. They were sucking face. They've been sucking face in a lot of place. So I say good for them and if it is a PR move hopefully they're having fun. Yeah, also good for them. Yeah, it's fine. I don't mind PR moves anymore. And I don't know whether, I think that the mismatch is that he

seems to be like cultivated image of himself as like a really interesting person and she kind of doesn't. And I think that's the mission. Yes. She's just kind of like a, seems kind of like a beautiful, I feel so sex as saying this, but she's just kind of like a beautiful shell, right? Like we don't really know who's inside of her. She's like a vape pen.

You know what I mean? Right? If you were to liken her to something. Yeah. I don't know where you're going with that. But I just don't know who Kylie is, you know. It just lights up. It just sort of, it fills the room with just...

Literally a picture just came out of Kylie Jenner holds Timothy Shalameh's finger outside singer Rosalia's birthday party in Paris. She was holding his finger. She's a vape pin. Oh my God! And she's bubble gum-flavored vape pen. Maybe I'm so wrong. And maybe she has so much depth. And I'm being a real prick over here.

And I apologize. Well, speaking of pricks. Real depth, MJ. She has depth. Vapor, my friend. Speaking of pricks, this former A-List teen star would not stop yelling and screaming at his DJ backstage at a concert this weekend. He also told her that she was even worse in bed than it is a DJ, which he didn't think possible. Whoa.

He would love to, he was funny on stage many years ago. He had his music act, but he's not a music. He shouldn't be doing music, but he does it anyways. Former child star, he would, he had ladies as his backing group, and they would be dressed as angels. Oh, Corey Feldman. Yes. Riot Fest. He played Riot Fest.

I just watched Lost Boys last night. Wow. Wow. What did you know on Lost Boys? Because I haven't, there's a lot of movies that I haven't seen and it's spooky season and I was like. How about that saxophone guy came out, right? Yeah. Did you like it?

Did you like it? Yeah, I loved it. It was like, I was saying to Gideon, I was like, I feel like a lot of the 80s movies I've seen are like, yeah, it's the 80s. And like Lost Boys is like, oh, it's the 80s. You know, I like, I like dark gritty 80s. It is broody, broody. So broody. Keeper Sutherland.

How right am I? about how those boys dress and why they are on our list during the, they're on the list during the live show. I know. And also, apparently the guy who plays, like the main character, Michael, I think is his name, is the grandson of Jackie Gleason. And so I was like, at one point he was standing next to Kiefer Sutherland,

and I was like, you're telling me that I'm looking at the son of Donald Sutherland and the grandson of Jackie Gleason and the lost boys. Nepo Babies. Nepo Babies. It began quite some time. Absolutely. Well, there you go. I can see again.

And you just remind me, we got Spooky Month. Hey! I'm so ready for the fall. I've been looking forward to this. I'm so ready for scares. I'm ready for frights. And also, I'm ready for Winnie to, like, experience Halloween kind of on the more, on the reel a little bit more.

And she's, we've already been talking about what we're going to dress as. I think we might be. Kid Halloween is really fun. I love. Or a dragon. know what we're going to do. She told me she wanted to be an octopus. Yeah, she might be an octopus. I was going to say, be prepared

Holden that she's going to change her mind 15 times. And so you got to, you know, you might want to, it's tough. You want to get this cost to the cost toarily, but also there's going to be a lot of last minute changes. The thing is, I'm all about when he'd be an octopus, dude. That's going to be sick as hell, dude. She wants to be an octopus. I'm very excited. So anyways, it's time for

fucking scary month, man. Bring it on. Oh my God. She also called me. To get my attention, she went, Jackie. And I was like, she knows who I am. Yeah, apparently, yeah. Like she said, she's really warming up to you at the party this past time, which is awesome. She called me Jackie. Which is awesome.

I think it's the talks. She did say she was like, yeah, finally, she like got the, you know what I mean? It's the Botox, yeah. I like that smooth one. Yeah, how smooth she is. And how interested she is in what I have to say. In what you got to say, yeah. It really, oh, I love not having to move my face anymore.

And that is our show for you guys. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us this week. And if you want to hang out with us in person, don't forget. Get your tickets. Lastpodcast Network.com. It's our last run for a while of Release the Butthole Cut Tour. And we are going out with multiple bangs, bangs, bangs, bangs, bangs, bangs, bangs, bangs. And my name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can follow me in Instagram at Jack the Worm. Holden. Twitch.combe. So this week we are back to our normal schedule. We are out of town for that one tour run, but besides that, it is the normal ass schedule until ye old Christmas time. So check us out. I'm streaming Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. Jag with the Holdies on Friday.

Always a great time. 6 p.m. ET. It is the reason for the season. And I'm so ready to be doing Jack and again on the regular. It is such a fucking awesome stream. And we'd love to see you guys there. Twitch.tv.4. Holdenator.

So please write in with your celebrity conspiracies to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And last but not least, patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Weekly bonus episodes. We got a lot of new people coming in because I think people are really thrilled with the type of extra bonus content. I've gotten messages saying I'm a patron of mini podcasts. And this is the number one in terms of bringing a shitload of extra content every single month. Weekly bonus episodes for $5. And for $10 a month, you can join us for our Jersey Shore watch-alongs on our Discord.

So check us out, patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. M.J. My name is MJ and I'm MJ K-L-Kat on Instagram. Let's sing the song. Shout, shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read them to you.

Thank you so much for your shoutouts, and you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. That is page 7 podcast at gmail.com. You can send us whatever the heck you'd like. If you've got blinds, you got lists that you want me to see, if you're just, you know, send it in pictures of your guinea pigs. Don't even get me started, Ariel. I love hot dogs so much. I want to see them all. So please send in your emails to page 7.

7 podcast at gmail.com. It puts a smile on my face. And not only do hot dogs and pictures of guinea pigs named hot dog put a smile on my face, but so does Nancy. Nancy writes in, I would love to give a 30th birthday shout out to my dear friend, Brandy, you're a fine girl. What a good wife you will be. I can't speak for you, Brandy, but maybe, you know, you're not just from the song.

Not only is she turning 30, but she also recently got engaged. Congratulations! Brandy and I met on Tumblr back in 2011, and even though we've never gotten the chance to meet in person, we talk every day, and Brandy has been a big sister figure to me. She introduced me to page 7 in 2017, and I'm very thankful for that because this podcast and this community have brought me so much joy. Brandy is one of the most amazing people in the world, and I'm very happy to see you. her go into a new decade and chapter in her life. I love you, Brandy! And so much love goes out to you too, Nancy. Ah, my kisses to you both and happy birthday, Brandy. I've also got a shout out going out to Jay and everything that you guys are going through. Oh my God, I'm sending so much love to you both. Jay says, April 8th has always been a shit date for me and my friend JJ. Her brother drowned

in the local lake when we were in the eighth grade. So together all these years, we uncelebrated April 8th. This year was way different. I woke up at 7 a.m. to 40 missed calls and numerous texts. JJ's dude got drunk and assaulted her for the last time, because luckily she called 911. The sheriff got most of the altercation on body camera, but two days later she found out she was pregnant.

She pressed charges, got a lawyer, got a divorce, which is final on October 3rd, and has made pregnancy her bitch. Tomorrow we go to court, hopefully for the last time. I was just asked to testify something I've never done. I'm nervous for her and myself, but getting her story out there and him out of her life will be worth it. By the time you read this, it will all be behind us,

and we can focus on her remaining 12 weeks of pregnancy. Congratulations, JJ. Jay says she's my baby bird. She's been with me through it all. We've had some breakups along the way, but we always find our way back to each other. I'll be forever grateful for that, even though I find it baffling as fuck sometimes.

Thanks for reading, love Jay, and so much love goes out to you both. Thank you so much for sharing this story. And congratulations, it's so hard to do that and to take care of yourself and you fucking do when a JJ, so much love goes out to you. And last but not least,

we've got a shoutout going out to Liz. Thank you so much for your gush, Liz. Liz says my shoutout is for me. I left my terrible job a little over a year ago to pursue a life as a creative. I've been avoid saying it, but since this is a safe space, I'm going to admit it for the first time to anyone. I want to be an influencer. As I type that, my heart went cold and my body went rigid with shame. No shame in it, Liz, I understand.

Every time I admit it, I feel so ashamed, but I want to influence people to be more kind and more positive. I want to influence people to show them that you can be a reformed grouch. You can change and be kinder to yourself and to the people around you. You can change your relationship with your body and how you think about yourself. You can change how you speak to you. The great news is I've been able to launch my Instagram and TikTok pages at Liz Laugh, Love, NYC, as well as my podcast mugful of Mimosas with Liz. The bad news is that no one seems to care.

The constant stream of rejection coupled with the progression and worsening of my multiple sclerosis has flung me into a deep depression that has been hard to deal with. The shout out here is that unlike the past, I refuse to give up this time. In the past, I'd normally throw in the towel and chalk this up to another spectacular failure and proceed to berate myself endlessly about how not good I am, but not this time. Something feels different about this time. Something tells me that someone out there needs to hear what I have to say. say. So I'm putting on my big girl panties and letting the page 7 listeners know that if you want to hear what a reformed grouch sounds like, come find me on TikTok or Instagram at Liz Laugh, NYC, or take a listen to my podcast mug full of mimosa's with Liz. I'm usually making one of my Blue Apron Meal Kit meals, sharing wellness Wednesday hacks, touring the world with travel Thursday posts, or showing off one of the workouts that helped me lose 100 pounds naturally for fitness Fridays. Realistically, what most

people come find me for is at Shiba Mochi Katsu, my standoffish and anxious Shiba Inu Dog, translation, cat. Feel free to follow that Instagram page too if you're into seeing dogs ignore humans. Thank you so much, Liz, for writing in. And again, check out if you've got time mug full of mimoses with Liz or give them a follow at Liz Laugh, Love, NYC. Thanks so much for writing in. And congratulations on starting a new show.

I know it's difficult, but just keep you. on chugging Liz. So much love goes out to you and so much love out to everybody that writes in. I love you guys so much and I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and connect with us. It always makes my heart swollen and throbbing. Oh my God, Jackie, this isn't Ice Planet Barbarians. Y'all have a beautiful week and we will be back next week and I can't wait. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

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