Page 7 - Ep. 510: The Witching Hour

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

This week Holden is STILL CUBIN', Jackie's dodgin' knives and takin' a dive into The Woman in Me, and MJ IS NOT LATE-30's HOLDEN!, plus the SAG AFTRA Strike Halloween rules (that Jackie may or MAY NOT have already broken), more Brit-ChitChat!, at what age does one truly experience a mid-life crisis?, Jackie's going to see Killers of the Flower Moon, but when will she get to pee?!, Robert De Niro was NOT a fan of DiCaprio's improv on set, PLUS more fun facts and pressing questions!, and in Celeb Conspiracy Corner: Is John Mayer Dating Andy Cohen?!? A List that doesn't need an introduction (and doesn't get one), BOMBSHELL BLINDZ, SHOUTZ and MOOOOORE!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Are you guys ready to feel? Did you guys come here to feel? I hope you did. I try to fly. I fall without my wings. I feel so small. I guess I need you, baby. Every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face.

It's haunting me. I guess I need you, baby. It was an abortion, Justin. It is, man, today is the day. I know this comes out two days afterwards, but I'm very excited. I woke up and it was like, ooh, my little Christmas morning. And I woke up and I opened up my Kindle and I said, Kindle, what do you have for me today? And the Kindle said, oh, Jackie, I have something good.

You're the prettiest of them all. Yes, and then I licked its face twice. That's not what I need to hear today. Yes, that's what you're going to hear today. And it presented itself to me. It opened up its flaps and it showed its bright, white, light. And there, right in my hands, is the woman in me. Brittany Spears' new memoir that I am going to start reading the second I am done with work today.

My question is, have you been able to clean up all of the rubble in your apartment after those bombshells? Oh, my God, just like explosions. This has been driving me crazy. The name of her book is The Woman and Me, and I was like, why? And it's because Tobias Fungke's book is The Man Inside Me. And I keep thinking, like, why does the woman and me sound so sexual? And it's because of Tobias Fungke and the man inside me. So I just needed to clear that always.

But also the woman inside of her was sexual MJ, and she was infantilized. I know. She was, her spirit died during the conservatorship. conservatorship, a word I'll never be able to say, I just gotta, I just gotta keep going. Got to ride. It's a worcestershire. It's a worcestershire. It's a worcestershire situation. And yeah, she is, honestly,

I am about to fucking download the Michelle Williams audiobook. Because if it's ready. I know, I was gonna, dude, I was gonna get the audiobook, but the audiobook was like, which, I mean, it's Michelle Williams, so I understand. But it was like twice the amount of the kids. Interesting.

It was much more expensive. And so, me, old Cheapo Zabrowski was like, oh no, I'll read it with my own eye. You were like, oh no, I'll record my own version of my own. It's also, to be fair, you are Cheapo Zabrowski, but also you are somebody who has proudly

told me in Holden when we ask you what you listen to, like besides music, like if you're cleaning the house, doing the dishes, doing chores, what do you listen to? And you proudly say silence. Silence. You don't listen to things. It's a raging psychopath.

And I, you're a raging psychopath. and I choose silence most of the time. I once recorded an argument my parents had in 1998, and that's what I looked at. Oh, were they arguing over you? Oh, yeah, they were just like, how do we get him out? What's wrong with him? They were like, it's two more years that he's gone to college.

I don't know what I need about that. And there wasn't really an argument, because they both could agree that something was wrong with you. We were disagreeing about what to do. I was crouched up in the top corner of the room on the ceiling, like hereditary style. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, and I started doing that.

So, yeah, I totally get why they were like getting them out. But, yeah, anyways, I listen to that, which is kind of fun. Just hovered in the top corner, going, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd probably want to get you out, too. I just think it's amazing that Jackie doesn't listen to things, and I think it'll be amazing to our listeners who are presumably podcast people. I feel like I am terrified of the sound of my own brain. I know.

Lexi's the same way, deathly silence. Really? And I cannot handle it. I need a podcast. You know how cacophonous it is. inside of my brain. Do you know how many conversations I'm having with myself at all of us?

When I see these TikToks, all right? There's so many of these TikToks out there because I always find myself in the weird psychology part of TikToks that talk about that there's like a good percentage of people that are A, not self-aware, and B, not overlapping, just separate group. This is a separate Venn diagram of people

that do not have an inner voice. And I wish it could, be quiet. I am never in silence. And is that a scary thing to say while I'm wide-eyed, staring you down right now, MJ? No, it doesn't surprise me. I know I look at you, and even when you're not talking, I know that you're talking on the end. I'm talking. I'm talking. Always. I'm always talking. So oftentimes, I don't know if Lexi does this to you, I don't know if this is a person listening to silence thing, but I will in the middle of a conversation to myself, respond to myself towards Jeff. And Jeff will be like, what are you talking about? I'm like, oh,

in my head I was talking about all of these things and so then I responded, but for some reason it came out aloud because I'm alone so much that usually I'll just respond aloud and it doesn't matter whether it's in my head or whether it's not in my head. I, for sure, I'm a verbal processor.

So it's more me and I'll say things out loud and Lexi will be confused by them and I'll be like, I'm verbally processing, you know what I mean? Which is bad when you get into a fight because then you start like talking about your feelings about the fight out loud when you walk into the other room

as it extends the fight. But yeah, that's what I'm doing, Jackie. I'm blocking the noise out of my head. Exactly. I'm listening to two people talk about nothing. This is the thing. I don't do audiobooks. I love audio books.

I love an audiobook. I need two people talking about whatever. I need just people shooting the shit. All over the spectrum. All over the spectrum. And on the spectrum. Well, yeah. And I'm loving it.

I'm loving on the spectrum. But yeah, I'm also, yeah, exactly. And I did, speaking of which, I may have ordered two more Rubik cubes and the special Rubik's cube timer. Why do you need more Rubik's cubes? You got to scramble. Don't ask a question.

You don't want the answer to, Jackie. You're going to explain that. Jackie! Now I'm speed solving, all right? If you want a speed solve, you got to scramble. I thought you got the 4 by 4s for your speed solving. No, not the 4. It's 3 by 3 speed solves.

And then there's 2 by 2, but I'm not, I don't care about 2 by 2 right now. I'm working 3 by 3. I, you need multiple, so you scramble them all up. And then you can do timed runs. one after the other. I only have one. I have to scramble it, scramble it, scramble, scramble, it. Time, time, time, scramble it's madness. So instead, I get it. I have my special little timer where you put your hands on the little hand spots and then you let it go and it starts the timer and then as soon as you put the hands

back down, it stops it. And my peevee... It's a Rubik's Cube specific timer. That is for Rubik's cubes and cup stacking whatever, okay? It's... Wow. This is for very strict parents that have a 12-year-old that they're trying to get into Harvard the next day. I feel like this is a torture device. I know. Oh, God, yeah.

Solve the problem as soon as your hands are... Are bleeding if they're not bleeding, then you're not doing it hard enough. Talk about the voices at my head would be screaming at me if I had to follow that timer. That sounds awful. My TV is a minute 24. We're working on it.

So you're just... Now you're just going to start timing everything. I'm going to probably start live streaming speed solves of Rubik's cubes, yeah. Oh, everyone's going to love watching that. Wow. Holden, I just need to know. Everyone.

loves watching you on the Rubik's Cube. There you go. When he gets the Cuban. I'm team Rubik's Cube, actually. I like holding on the Rubik's Cube. I appreciate that. He walks, I love the, you know, I like anything

that kind of brings us out of the whole humdrum day to day. And I think there's something about a grown man walking around a social situation with the Rubik's Cube that is just aggressively, it's not antisocial. That's why I like it, but it's aggressively like different. It's not an anti-social, but I had a great conversation with

a great conversation with Mark. of the network. He is also appreciating my cubing and appreciated my cube. Because he, I let him have my Rubix, branded Rubik's cube. Oh my God. You did what? You didn't want to hear about Taylor Swift this week's year. You're hearing about the Rubik's cube. Write it in.

Write it in, fuckers. I don't want to hear about the revix. The man has his hyperfixations. No, we're just taking a break. Which fixation? We're talking about a different deed for now. I'm replacing one hyperfixation with another hyperfixation. We're changing the name of the podcast to hold its hyperfixation. fixations. You are not taking the wheel of this crazy train right now. Oh my God, is Ozzy Osbourne

here? Yes. I don't get me a bat. Now, but really what is happening in the news? We've got bombshells galore. I mean, there's bombshells galore. I mean, lots of Britney Spears. Britney Spears is kind of taken over, but today again is the day of the release of the memoir. So right now, the bombshells are everywhere. But also, like, it's, I do wonder how many bombshells. are left inside of the book, and that's part of the reason why I'm reading is, I'm like, did they, like, give away all of the bombshells that I'm going to read in the book? Because she's not thrilled with how it's being marketed. No.

Oh, really? No, she's not. She's openly. She's mad about the abortion thing being, like, the main, you know, the way that that's splashing everywhere. Because she's like, she had a post about this on her Instagram, and everyone knows her Instagram is a little bit of a roller coaster, but it was like a pretty cogent post about being like, I wrote this.

I mean, she writes, it's like in a notes app, you know. It's like it's, but like, it's her being like, I, the book is supposed to be like about my life and about all the things I've gone through. And so to like pick one thing out and pull it out of all the other context I was writing about and make it seem like that's like the tragedy of the book, what in fact is just me kind of trying to tell the story of my life is very frustrating and have that be all the headlines. And that's, I think, is very, very sympathetic.

I mean, imagine you write your fucking memoir. And whatever the, you know, kind of most immediately scandalous thing you've ever done is the only thing that anybody knows about the memoir. But if she doesn't think that that's what's going to happen at this point, I don't know what to tell her. Yeah. Like, I really do. I'm like, but you are also writing the memoir, you know, like you are also doing it and putting it. Like, what do you think is going to happen when the PR machine starts to eat it up? I'm not saying it's right.

Please. question, do you think that these conversations make me feel so icky, but I have seen some discourse around the fact that that fact is in the book may be suggesting that her handlers were like, put this in there, because that'll get a lot of attention, that'll get a lot of shock, and that that might be something that an otherwise, you know, thriving. Like if she was somebody who seemed to be in a more stable place, we might be able to receive this choice differently.

Right. But because she is somebody who has been... The reason it makes me feel icky is because she's been so constantly spoken for by others, taken over by others, manipulated by others. So I think what you're saying is, she's a little baby, a little baby shouldn't write books. Is that what you're saying?

Don't think that's what? M.G. You're the one who said that she has the voice of a scary baby. Yeah, who are her handlers? You say the word handlers, and I'm like, who even is that at this? Well, I don't know, but she probably didn't just sit down. Or do you mean like her PR people and like her business or her manager people?

Maybe her ghost writer and the editor. Whoever, I don't think she had a ghost writer. You don't think she did? 100%. You think she said now to just type the book. 100%. I would have a ghost writer. Type the book into her notes app, you know.

Like, I think that, right, whoever is making, obviously, whoever is making PR decisions around Britney Spears is not always in the driver. seat, hence the knife dancing videos. Like, she's obviously making a lot of choices herself. You know what you should do? You should wield two giant blades while you do those dances. That would be great, Frindy. I did see someone go as her in that

video for Halloween. That's awesome. It's great. I love the knife dancing video. It's like one of my favorite things she's done. I thought it was awesome. It's great. And then she put out a statement about that. She's always putting out statements. Her statement was like, they're not real knives, you jackasses. Yeah, but then everyone was like, yeah, but didn't they

like clink together? I don't know. like real knives. They're absolutely real knives. They're absolutely real knives. That's the most insane thing to say ever. They clearly are her. She's brandishing blades. Every statement is like creates like a new controversy.

Like it's clearly real knives. Would that be great. Every time you made a statement, it sets the world on fire. No, that would be. I think that's the worst. I would hate that. Do you know how much dumb shit comes out of my mouth? Could you imagine?

someone like trying to pull apart my Instagram captions? To be like, but what is she really feeling? It's like, I'm telling you. I'm insane. That's what I'm telling you. Yeah, just decoding. I've got a problem.

I can't even like not let you guys know when I'm going through a depressive state publicly. Like I can't not say how I feel. I mean, I hear you. I, you know, but it would be kind of fun because then I'd start like fucking with it. You know what I mean? I'd start like putting messages out that are crazy.

I'd be like, there's a man on the, moon, you know what I mean? I'd be like saying just, you know, little things like, people would be like, I think he's talking about, you know, uh, what's like, yeah, something's happening on Thanksgiving this year. You know what I mean? Or some of us are playing the three dimensional checks. Thanksgiving Day parade over on the oldenators. Oh, yes. It's going to be so fun. Don't worry. It is coming for you. All the stars will be out tonight. Oh my God, will they? I'm so excited. I know. I'm just, sorry. I can't, I'm not trying to

jackwash Halloween right now. I would never take away Halloween from anyone. You know I love Halloween. But, you know, I also can hear the distant gobbles in my future and I am starting to get thick with gravy.

Do you hear what I hear? Whoa! Oh my gosh, there's a turkey. Lose the studio. That's those gobbles you're hearing. That's what I'm going to do. Wouldn't that be so funny if I got a bunch of turkeys? Aren't turkey like assholes, though, too? They are.

They're very mean. They're like geese. Geese also famously assholes. The other bird mascot of this show. Man, did I tell you about the turkey thrower? Man, this dude, I met a bunch of turkeys. And he's like, you got to watch out, though. But don't worry, if they get out of line, you just grab them because he was the farmer.

He was like the turkey wrangler. So you knew that was doing. How are we on a farm right now? Where were you to be on a farm? Where's the farm? Take us to the farm, Jack. It's not Thanksgiving yet. I think that I...

Whatever you want a turkey farm? This was when we went to a farm upstate where they killed their own kosher beef and they had shown us where like the line where they have to hang out, hang them out by their necks. And I was just like, oh, you got to hang them out by their necks, eh? And he's like, yeah, this is our bloodlet in line. And so that was in upstate New York. But this man also showed me as turkeys. And then apparently to wrangle up a turkey, you got to grab them by the neck and kind of give them a toss.

Did you get to drink any of the blood? No, but I did see the stains in the dirt. And, man, what a romantic time it was. I tell you, never, don't worry, there wasn't a lot of romance happening back then anyway. All right, okay. So just think about them, turkey, turkeys. And I'm going to, I think I'm going to get a tattoo of a turkey with a little hat on. Have I said during the show yet that I'm having a bit of a midlife crisis and I'm getting a bunch of tattoos?

You become a bit of a palette. Yeah, I'm starting. You're palating. I'm starting to, I don't know if it is, is it a midlife crisis, do you think? I don't know. I feel like this is the best time to get tattoos. Obviously, I'm going to say that. I just got my first tattoo.

But I just think that it is such a good. I think 36 is actually, that's kind of nice if this is, I hope this is my midlife crisis. I just think this is the time. If you were getting all these. these tattoos at 26, I think I'd be more concerned. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's interesting how quickly we go from. 26 is like clearly youth and then somehow 36

is like absolutely right in the middle of midlife crisis. That is still young as hell to me. Of course, still very young. Being in your mid-30s is the bad. This is literally the best time. I don't know. I think I'm late 30s now. Isn't 36 late 30s? I'm not going. No, no.

I don't know, Jackie. I'm 37. I'm still very much in my mid-30. Are you mid-thirties? is the beginning of late 30s for sure. What? Yeah. Oh, I'm out of here. You might as well be 40.

Wee, wee, we, we, we. You got pulled over by the cops. You got pulled over by the cops. MJ, that's what happens when you try to leave the conversation. Exactly. And they don't like trans people in these parts. No, go to see. I'm screaming.

I don't talk to the police. Hell yeah. Am I being detained? Am I being detained? Are I being detained? I know my rights. No, I think that, I mean, all I'm saying is that I think when we were kids and our parents were having midlife crises, it might disturb all of us to realize that they were probably in their late 30s because many people, by the time they're in their late 30s are living lives that are a little bit more grown up than our lives, perhaps. So I do think that we would call this midlife crisis, although I associate a midlife crisis with like a 50-year-old man on a motorcycle.

Especially because I feel like chronologically. Is it still a midlife crisis if you don't have like a family and a home? You know what I mean? Yeah. This is how I'm going to market, Jackie. I feel like that's what drives you over the edge. It's a two-step process. Sure.

First step you are doing, which is getting a lot of tattoos. But second step you're not doing. You are not a part of a roller derby league. And that is the true tell. You know that I'm just scared. I wish I could be a part of roller derby. on one so bad. I want to be a part of one so badly.

I just wish I didn't have to learn how to roller skit. She can't do anything out of wheels hold it. Don't put her on wheels. I wonder Jackie could be like the guy that dances in the Mighty, Mighty Boston's kind of position, but on a roller derby. Like you just stand there and scream. Can I host a roller derby? Yeah.

Exactly. And like, you're like the announcer or whatever. You know what you mean? I'll not roast them because I'd be scared because they, ooh, then they're going to start coming over and. That's the fun. Because then they go.

So, at me. And I'd be like, oh, are you mad at me? Are you going to kiss me? And then we're going to kiss. And I'll be like, Jeff! Okay, I can't do it. I can't cheat on Jeff with the Roller Derby League. I think you can. And that's why you're not having a midlife crisis because I really feel like it's much as I think 50-year-old man on a motorcycle, the central tenant of a mid-life crisis is destroying your existing relationships and seeking out. Like, I feel like breaking up with your partner and looking for somebody who's like 23.

is like the real, that's the real midlife crisis. Or kissing a bird or something like that. I would never kiss a bird. I think, can you imagine how difficult it would be on your lips and all the little holes? Yeah, who establishes the kind of the, I think you would wrap your mouth lips around the beak and try to throw the tongue in there.

No, you gotta just do a, forget the edge. Do a peck. Yeah, it's a peck. Right. It's just a tiny, just on the very bridge. I'm gonna put my full mouth over the beak. Of course you would. And then let the bird control from there.

So the bird then opens the bee. Yeah, they don't call you the gobs stopper for nothing. Everybody knows. He's everlasting, my friend. Oh, my God. He's been sucking on that bird's beef for the last four hours. Oh, unfortunately, he's everlasting. So there's a lot more bombshells coming out with Britney Spears' book, all right?

And we know, so it's like we know about the big ones that have come out. We know about the fact that she felt like she was a child robot. But I really feel like something that they're not, which she can't promote right now because of the SAG After Strike, I'm sad because I don't know if the Crossroads is still coming out in the movie theaters because they were going to put Crossroads in the movie theaters for the premiere of the memoir. Which is interesting because it was like pretty clearly a mistake at the time and we'll almost surely read more of a mistake now.

Right. That was probably her at the height of her being like overworked. Maybe they thought it was a good idea, and then they realized that there's no way they could ever compete with, like, what's happening with Taylor Swift or with Beyonce right now at AMC. So maybe they just, like, gave up. Oh, maybe. So really, they just didn't release it. I don't think so. I look to see if I could get tickets to it.

And I'm not seeing. Or maybe they don't have it at AMC, but you know, I'm a stub. So what am I going to go to a different movie theater? Right. Yeah. I'm loyal. I feel like I want to talk about her claim that she got dumped by Justin Timberlake V. a text in 2002 because I want to just do a little bit of a forensics on that fact.

It's not that I think she's lying, but I know, and it does say that it was on a Motorola flip phone and that tracks, but I sent my first text message in 2004. You don't think they didn't have like the best of the best. Yeah, they're the rich. The celebrities are just, yeah, yeah, no, you're right. So they might have been, they might have gotten Motorola flip phones with texting capabilities is a little bit before. And I guess, I guess, I don't know,

do we really think JT sent a T9 predictive text? It's over to her on her Motorola flip phone? I mean, I'm not trying to accuse her of lying, but I'm just saying texting in 2002 was so not a thing. But that's why I feel like it's over rather than like, it was like a paragraph or something. I feel like back then it was, and like if that's just like the, like, because you could only write like shorter messages back then

because you only had so much screens. space. And remember the T9 predicted text could barely to choose what words you were saying. And you could

distract it playing snake. Yeah, you had snake. I love a snake. I love snake. Oh, I love snake on my

brick phone, man. I can't believe that at one point in time my dad had like a full size giant phone just in his car

that he would Like a Zach Morris one? Well, he had a car phone like He had like a big ass car phone in his car phone.

Well, yeah, I imagine he was a high-powered lawyer so he's just like, bye, no, get him in the The prison.

I think he only used it. Like the dad from hub. I only used it to every now and again and be like, I'm on my way home and just stuck in traffic. Like, I don't, I, like, to have a phone that fully lives in your car at all times is so absurd. Like, there's just no need for it. I am still, though, the age where that is the utmost of luxury. Yes. Like, I never, like, we never had a car, like a car phone.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was all I ever wanted, though, because you would see it in the movies and you're just like, oh, my God. just picking up, and you have to yell, buy, sell. Like they don't say hello on those phones. Yeah, you don't have a normal conversation ever. No, it's only screaming, I would assume. Yeah, it's like only people who live in California, too.

I feel like it wasn't for like Midwesterners. Yeah, convertibles. Yeah. Was it a convertible Holden? No, no, I don't think he had. Was it his midlife crisis? He got a, he did get a convertible BMW for, no, no, no, he didn't get a convertible, he wanted to get a convertible BMW, like the James Bond car from Golden Island.

That's a good life crisis. And my mom literally was like, you're going through a midlife crisis. We're not getting this car. It makes no sense for us to get this car. But they were, it was a crazy time. Now I'm kind of sad. I feel like I've got to ask my parents if they went through a midlife crisis. I don't think they outward, I don't think we had the money to go through a midlife.

I think you just like are sad and you get through it. I think with your mom, it was the Rakey teacher. It was a late, oh, man. A late midlife. My mom's getting into line dancing now. That's great. That's a great thing for her. I don't know.

I can't wait to hear about it. I was like, this is what I love about my mom. My mom is like always trying new things. And she's like, I'm starting line dancing on Monday. I don't know. Maybe I'll be really good at it. I was like, hell yeah, mom. Maybe you will be really good at it.

I feel like line dancing is totally acceptable older person. You know, you get the body moving. Absolutely. Yeah, it's a great way. I kind of want to go line dancing. I would totally do it. Hold on. I hate it.

But yeah, I despise it. Well, yeah, you can't handle it. Completely cannot handle it. Everything about it is like, it's so rigid and like it's all tight. I feel like I'm in the military. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, you know what he mean? Yeah, man.

Oh, I know. I mean, MJ, you love a boot scoot. I love a boot scoot. I love a command dance. And not touching. And I love not touching. And I'm also not that good at dancing. So I love being told what to do, you know, because I love to dance.

Right. But I don't, I don't, you know, have it, as they say. So I think if you just. tell me how to move my body, I can try, and I still won't look that good, but I will try. No, you will, though, because it's rigid. Like, the whole idea is to, like, look like a scarecrow while you're doing it. Like, it's very rigid. Yeah, I could thrive at that.

Yeah. It's like, emotionless, no smiling. It's very emotionless. What are you saying about me, Hold on? Dude, I think, all right, I beg to differ. You don't like joy, and then you're upset. I beg to differ. Holden, you have never been lined dancing before.

There is nothing sexier than someone that is good. at line dancing. That's the thing. Anyone can line dance, but you got, but not everybody's good at line dancing. And the people that are good, ooh, with their asses.

This is the problem. Ooh, with their boots. This is the problem. A, you're describing definitely a man and I'm cis. Hetero. But, uh... What are you talking about?

It's also like women in tight little, like, mini-ish skirts. And you ever seen like a 55-year-old woman line dance? There's one young, hot guy doing it. And then all the ladies in the room are oglin at all. ages, right? Yeah.

That's what you're describing. I'm good. You're giving me memories of Marcus's wedding again, okay? All his very attractive family members in their cowboy hats and they're all like, ma'am, would you like to dance? And I was just like, oh!

I'm going to bet you anything. They all have tucked in shirts into their high jeans. I'm going to bet you in it. They're tight jeans. It's like an episode of like Golden Girls or something. Everyone goes to this thing because there's one guy that's smoking. Yeah, dude.

That kills it. And all the ladies go and try to get that guy's attention for an hour. Yeah, I'm looking at his butt. Yeah, exactly. And that's the whole thing. And they're all like vying for, I made you this quilt last night. You know what I mean? This is why I can't.

I made you extra pot stuffing. You know what I mean? I love to be great. I would love to see you try to compete for the guys attention, by the way. I want to be in an old folks home yesterday. Right. I'm going to be so good in an old folks home. Everybody's going to love me.

I'm always going to like have like a margarita in my hand. and I'm just going to all day, I'm going to be high all day, and I'm just going to go to every day, like every samba class they have, every art class they have, I'm going to do it all. Everybody's going to love me. I'm going to make everybody food all the time, and I'm going to make kiss all over that old folks home. There's one guy there named like Manolo that runs all those classes and everybody's just like, Manolo. Manolo, I know how you love my chicken and donuts. Oops, my breasts popped out of my shirt, Monolo. Yeah, Bidhar, yeah, Bidhar. That's not what Manolo would sound like. It's not what Manolo would sound like.

But we all know that there's a Manolo scenario going on with Linda right now. Oh, man, I hope so, man. Maybe, yeah, that's what draws her eye. Maybe that's what's bringing my mom. I hope so, man. Hell yeah. Yeah, horniness will heal us all. It will.

It will, Holden. Thank you for reminding us. But also for not reminding me about the so not horny sag after strike Halloween rules that we're supposed to be following, which I immediately broke.

Sorry. Sorry, I broke the rules. Yeah, this is a tough one. And you posted on social media. Yeah, you're a villain. Yeah, I'm a villain. I guess I'm... Okay.

No, they backtracked it. They backtracked it. Only to say that kids aren't a part of this, obviously, because Ryan Reynolds made fun of it. So, SAG put a statement out being like, don't go with it. Also, I didn't do the chucky thing on purpose. I was already planning on being it, and I had the whole costume. You scabbo.

I think I have to pick a couple of scabs in this room. I had the whole costume already. What was I going to buy another costume? Well, that's why I think a lot of celebrities are really pissed off because everyone's going to go and literally if you told me a month ago, I would have been like, all right, I won't do it. But it was like the week before I'm like, come on. That is insane that they put this statement out.

And this statement's so ridiculous saying, don't go as licensed characters and don't post license characters on social media. I personally think this is ridiculous, especially in a year where Barbie and the movie theater like saved movie theaters. That's the thing. It's tough with Barbie because it's such an obvious and good costume and easy for people to do and fun. And it's like that's what's saving the movie theater business. People wanting to dress up and go to the theater or dress up and go to a Halloween party

as the big character from the big blockbuster. Like that is, to me it just, we get to a point where. where it's like, I think that you should be able to dress like Barbie. I just, I think it's insane. I'm even, I'm not even going to fucking Universal Studios this year for Halloween Horror Nights because I feel like I feel weird about it because of the strike. And things like this, but then when you make rules like this, this isn't helping or changing anything.

No, I think it's, yeah. Because that's a whole thing is that when they came out saying this about this, like when they said you can't dress up as licensed characters or else you are cross. crossing the picket lines, Ryan Reynolds immediately came out and was like, I can't wait to follow around my eight-year-old and just calling her scab all night. Then they clarified, well, kids don't count, but it's just like, yeah, but I think the main one is celebrities are freaking out actually because they already have their entire costume put together and then you put the statement out.

That's what it seems like. The rules are, it's not, like, they're not asking, Sag's not saying like everybody shouldn't do this. It's just SAG members, right? Like, they just don't want SAG members to do it. And it's like, and I'm not, I think it is a, I think, I think that they pretty clearly recognize that it was like a bit of a PR loss for them, which is a shame because otherwise I think they've been, you know, pretty like PR has very clearly been on the side of like studios, bad, you know, unions good. But yeah, it's tough. It's tough in a year like this when obviously the costumes write themselves, you know, and yeah, this is just one of those ones where it's like, oh, I'm. Everybody's going to want to be Barbie. Of course they're going to want to be Barbie.

But I love this. This makes it, it's just so like, oh, we've got hamburgers at home. We can't go to McDonald's. Okay, members can safely dress up as Jacob Allorty Elvis from A24's strike-proof Priscilla, but not Austin Butler's king of rock and roll. You can't dress up as Carmi from the Bear, but you can dress up as Jeremy Allen White from his A-20. movie the Iron Claw

fuck off. Come on. Oh, fuck you. Are you the Iron Claw guy? Yeah, so many people are going to get that costume. I'm really going to know what that is. Although, man, that movie trailer, look at the Iron Claw trailer. It's a Zach Ephron, Jeremy Allen White movie.

Dude, it looks fucking awesome. Looks very, very upsetting. And I can't wait to watch Jeremy Allen White continue to upset me in different ways. Carly, why? The line dancer's journey, I believe he's going to be in that movie. I think he's got the ass for it. Oh, yeah.

But he's got the mean mug for it too. Actually, we should get Carmi to line dancing for us. Oh, yeah. He would just be looking really sad while line dancing. Yeah, with his tight jeans. I love a Saturday Night fever, but for line dancing. I think there is, Urban Cowboy is not that exactly, right? But don't they line dance in that movie a little bit?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's spicy. Man. Can I trust as him? No, I can't, can I? Probably not. Absolutely not, holding. Jaggy, throw up? Oh, sorry. We got quiet because it seemed as if Jaggy might puke in the studio for a second of there. I did it. I did it. It's just my coffee.

My coffee went down and then it came back up and then it went back down. There you go. Beautiful. Aren't you so intrigued? All right, so I can't wait to go see killers of the flower moon. Three and a half hours long. I was going to say, I can't believe we're talking about cowboys this much, Jackie, and we haven't talked about this. All right, I got a hot take on this one, and I think a lot of people are agreeing with.

The indigenous, no, I'm just kidding. My hot take is, give me back, we need, and I would have loved it for fucking eras as well. Bring back the intermission. Why? God, why? Especially because I follow multiple people on TikTok that talk about when is a good time to pee during long, movies and this one person was like straight up no time to pee during Killers with Flower Moon. It's all

fucking unbelievable and there's no good time for you to take a break because so much happens. I think if it's over two and a half hours long come on give me even if it's five minutes. Let us but I love an intermission I love intermissions at plays. And then people will spend more money because they'll go get more stuff. They'll spend more money. You walk outside you get to talk about like what you just saw for a little bit. You're going to like process. You kind of get hype. Or you know what? You go, fuck it. I think I'm good. And you just go home.

You know what I mean? And you have that option too. But I think at the end of the day, what usually happens is you go like, that's pretty cool. And you talk about it a little bit and you kind of get to check in the first whole half of the movie. I'm not watching this movie in the theater because I need to be able to watch it in either two different settings or at the very least like pause it throughout. Because it's too long. Three and a half hours. And that's all good. That's fascinating. But we got, so what we're doing is we're going in the middle of the afternoon on Sunday. Yeah. Like that's the only time we can go. Because like Jeff and I were talking about going sometime. And Jeff's like, I just can't. I'm sorry, not Jeff. It's me.

Let's me really are. It's me that's an I don't think I can do a full day of work and then go see a three and a half hour long movie. Right. Because I'm going to fall asleep. Right. And I don't want to fall asleep because I've been really wanting to see this movie. Yeah. When you said you're afraid of falling asleep, I was like, oh, is this movie supposed to be like a power of the slot?

but it sounds not. It sounds like it's a three and a half hour. No, it's supposed to be unbelievable. Like, it's supposed to be an amazing movie. And what's really cool is that because of the strike, none of the actors could go to the premiere, but the O'Sage citizens went to the premiere instead and got, like, the actual attention on them.

This was cool. Rather than it just being on, like, Robert DeNiro and Leonardo DiCaprio, which is really, that's how you do a strike rule. Like this is great. Yeah. This was the coolest thing I've seen from a red carpet.

I mean, the two things that, I mean, there's been so many inspiring things from this strike totally. But like the two most inspiring, like in terms of how to do a red carpet on a strike was like first of all, when all the Appenheimer cast walked off the red carpet because the strike was authorized right

during the premiere of Oppenheimer. That was cool as fuck. And then this, yeah, the fact that nobody could walk the red carpet because of the strike rules. And so they had Osage citizens like, come on and talk about like, you know, their, like, their clothes and like their, you know, culture. And it was like so fun to be like, yeah, honestly.

And they're all wearing their traditional clothing too. Yeah. Like, it's really cool to see it. I'd way rather hear just like this person tell me about like the traditional clothes she's wearing and what they mean than like whatever the fuck Leonardo DiCaprio would say on a red carpet anyway. You know, like red carpet events are so like uncomfortable for everyone and almost never satisfying for anyone that I kind of love the idea of just being like, let's just

get some regular people in there. Let them talk about, you know, the people who are the subject of the movie. Let's like, let's give them the microphone, you know? Yeah, there's something really annoying to me about people who like know exactly how to like stand and shift and move while getting their pictures taken on a red carpet. And then right here. And then I'm going to here. And then I'm going to.

Yeah, I certainly don't know any of those things. Every time I see a full body picture of me, I'm like, what am I supposed to do? Yeah. How do it? coached and then you get good at it and then you like, you know what I mean? And then you pop into it. Yeah, they like pop into these little mimem, me, me. And they're always like mima face.

They're always like, pipa, pipa, but I think you're just thinking of mermaps. Yeah, I am thinking of mertmerps. I think they're a little bit of murpherbs doing this. Someone's like very good. It's very being stony-faced and like posing for like red carpet. I'm always just like, what? You know what I mean? Go find a shoe to drink out of tequila.

Yeah, you shoe drinker? Do a shooie. Yeah, whereas all of the people on. the red carpet for the, all the Osage citizens were just like super psyched. Like, they were like, yeah, man, this was awesome. Like, check it out. Well, and apparently they were heavily consulted with the community with like from Scorsese himself.

Yeah, that's what's really old. It says in here that Julio Keefe, who helped with the costumes in the film representing her tribe, says it felt like a community project. And for a Martin Scorsese movie to feel like a community project is, I mean, stunning in itself. That's true. So it's just supposed to be, yeah, totally. the opposite of power of the slog.

Like, it's supposed to be just a riveting, amazing movie for three and a half hours. But I'm just, I'm worried about my pee-pee. My pee-bees got to go somewhere. Dude, that fucking movie, by the way, we're talking about hours of the slog or power of the dog, right? Hours of the slog.

What a fucking unbelievable. I'm still as clear as day in my head. I like, go back to my memory of it. I'm just like, God, time stop. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. God, such amazing actors in it too. So many good actors.

And so lauded. And so everyone's clapped and cheered and nominated it. And I'm not that person. I'm not like the other girls. I don't like the movies everybody likes. I love the movies everybody likes. Yeah. Man, that one.

Well, everybody, I don't know who liked that movie. I think it was liars. Every year. Yeah, every year. There's a green book every year. You know, there's a movie that everybody feels like they should like. Crash was the most egregious one. Crash was the biggest

Greek book of the mall. Everyone looks back of that and it's like that's the hackiest most ham-fisted messages about like racism and stuff. It's just so like why can we not as a people step back and be like this is clearly bad Oscar bait like hacky Oscar bait.

You know what I mean? I just hate it too because I love Jesse Plymonds and Kirsten Dunst. I love them so much. Jesse Plemons is in. But they're slog in it. He's but he's not. Slogging it in, uh, in this movie, because he's in, when Jesse Plymonds shows up in the trailer

for Killers of the Flower Moon, I was so excited. I'll watch him do anything. Yeah, no, he'll be great in this. I think what happened was like, they're just so happy, you know, and when you're that happy and in love and married, you just make a sloggy slog fest. Is that what it is? Yeah, because they're just like, you know what's nice, just sitting on this porch and staring at, you know what I mean? They're not the fire in them, you know what I mean? It's like, I'm fucking, the world's on fire. You know, they're just not like that. You know what I mean? I want to see a guy get his face ripped off. Like, that's what I want.

That's the energy I want. I saw them going for a walk in like close to our neighborhood. Yeah, and they take tiny steps, right? Like little, they go like just a half a foot forward. No, they walk like those little wind-up toys. They were holding hands and I was just like, oh. They're just like, where did you got to be today? And she's like, nowhere.

Okay, well, tip the cap to your plans today. Yeah, I forgot. Yeah, she became a crone. Yeah. But wait. It's weird. She aged before my eyes. Before we move on to the conspiracy, can we just give the briefest of shoutouts to the fact that

page seven favorite Piedere Woman Reed Drummond's family might literally be, like, not might, is literally connected to the, like, murdering family in this movie. We were sent this article multiple times, but like here's the thing. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. But she did marry a family that is like generations and generations deep of cowboys. I'm going to say that probably there's some, there could be some bad in there. She's called the Pioneer Woman. The reason I think it's so funny is because it's one of these things that it was so like.

But it's not her husband. No, it's not even her husband's father, I don't think. I don't think that anyone's like canceled the Pioneer Woman over and else back. So I don't know, I didn't like look like far, far, far. Ooh, I read the, I read the whole article. I was wrapped. Yes, I read the variety article. No, but I think I just, I think it's funny because like the way that like, thank

God Martin Scorsese is making this movie like in collaboration, like with, you know, Osage Citizens is like so different than the way that like almost every other movie about the West has ever been made, you know? Right. And I, and so there's just something that's so funny to be about being like, I'm the pioneer woman. And then 35 seasons later, the way that we talk about, has shifted such that like inherently in your concept, it is rough.

Like you like the idea of like, I own all this land in Oklahoma. As far as the eye can see. I wonder whose land that was, you know? And it's like, and so like the hot husband, and we always talk about like his family, like was part of this land grab as depicted in the movie, like a huge part of it. And they own a massive percentage of land that used to be land that belonged to the Osage communities. And so it is just, it's one of those things where, again, nobody needs to be like, oh my God, the pioneer woman's a colonizer. But it's just so, like, the way that we talk about

these things and how they have changed, it's like, oh, yeah, like your whole thing is that you live on all this land. It's just one of those, it's like when you think about Hawaii and your stone, you're like, oh, Hawaii, interesting. I wonder how that got to be part of the United States. Oh, my God. Or when you start thinking about how big the Pacific Ocean is. Totally. You're just like, oh, yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, it's big. Oh, it's like much bigger than we think it is. Oh my God, what happens out there? Are you just like keep cleaning a blade and it just won't get totally clean?

Yeah. Wiping it, wiping it, wiping it, wiping it. Dancing. Can you get another blade. Thank you. I did want to do, I did want to bring up the fact that I love that Robert De Niro got truly annoyed by Leonardo DiCaprio's endless quote improv on set because I guess Scorsese has worked with Leonardo DiCaprio multiple times in the past, work with Robert.

Robert De Niro multiple times in the past, but putting them together is very funny because Robert De Niro, you know, he plays the play. He does what's on the page. Yeah, he's old school. And Leonardo DiCaprio loves to go and create and, like, live inside of the character. And it just pissed Robert De Niro off the most. And they're just like, just like, just say the fucking words, Leo. That's just like, it would get to a point that Robert De Niro, like, wouldn't even talk.

He's like, I don't know. He's talking enough for us both, essentially. So he became Lenda. Yeah. All right. here we go. It's time for it. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Is John Mayer dating Andy Cohen? I think the answer is yes. This comes in from

Shelley who writes, hold it this is important in all caps. Is John Mayor arguably Taylor's worst X dating Andy Cohen? Lots on TikTok are saying yes. They have at least one home together. They say they're in love with each other. They held hands at pride together. They FaceTime each other from bed while on vacation. Taylor did say he's an expert at keeping lines blurry, but I feel like this is really freaking obvious, I fucking believe. She posted three TikToks. The first TikTok goes over how they are living together,

holding hands at pride, Andy Cohen's mama, is even steam ironing John's shirt in an image. Okay. The second TikTok is from the Howard Stern show of Andy Cohen saying, I am in love with John Mayer. We are in love with each other. Wow. He also says there's nothing.

sexual between them, but still. And the third TikTok is the most terrifying of them. Oh, what happens? In the third TikTok, very frightening things happen. Scary things. Are you getting us ready for Halloween? Is that what's happening here? The third TikTok is a segment on watch what happens live with Andy Cohen,

in which John Mayer and him play a game of hot potato in which they profess things that they love about each other in order to toss the potato until their time. runs out and they get a lot of tosses. They really love a lot of things about each other. Oh, you should play that with your partner. Uh-huh. That would be really cute. Well, that is a partner's game, isn't it?

And it's interesting that they're playing it together with each other. Love you three. Thanks for being the best. Shelly. I, it's, you gotta watch. The chemistry is, it's crazy. And holding hands at pride is a thing, by the way. Is it possible?

How are they holding hands? Are they holding hands like, like, uh, like you hold hands with a child or interclasped fingers? I can't remember. I don't think it's interclassed. Okay. But I don't know. I'd have to go back and look.

I feel like there's a difference in how you hold hands. I was going to say like, is it possible they're just doing the thing where sometimes when two like straight guys who love each other are just really performative about their like affectionate, non-sexual love for each other.

You're thinking of Polly and Vinny and that's exactly. Yes, I'm thinking of Polly and Vinny. Exactly. From Jersey Shore. But obviously Andy Cohen would not fit the two straight guys like ironically professing love for each other thing. So, I mean, that would be, I think that this would be great. I don't want to paw paw, uh, fun, you know.

Are you pawpawing right now? I don't want to pawpaw like, no paup. Fun, like, romances or whatever, if it is a true bromance. But it does seem to walk the line. Yeah. Towards something else, for sure, based on all the evidence. I mean, when we look at Polly and Vinny, don't we want that line to just ever so gently be crossed.

When we look at the fan art based on it, we see the line get crossed and we get thrilled by it. We want two allegedly straight men who love to make a joke about how much they love each other. We want them to just accidentally tumble into true love with each other. And maybe that's what's happening here. Although, again, with the Andy Cohen thing, maybe he was already ready for it. And John Mayer is realizing some things about himself.

I think that would be nice. I don't think John Mayer necessarily needs a redemption. arc, but this would be one. Yeah, maybe that's why he's such a bad boyfriend. Yeah, because he's a bad boy. Doesn't he needs... He needs man love. Yeah. Good for them. Yeah. I hope they're kissing. Yeah, I think they do sometimes.

Yeah, and I think that's wonderful. Even if it's like as a joke, you know, like a... Or any kind of like dresses like a woman or something and or something, I don't know, and they do it that way. Man, whatever they do, as long as they're both smiling, I think that's a all right. He puts a little ladies, tiny little ladies wig on a tip of his penis. or something like that. Oh, that would be cute, though.

And talks as a woman. Like that one king of queen's episode. Yeah. He's like, may I kiss you, my love? Oh, yes. He's just like shaking his dick at John Mayer. In my head, the dick is dressed up like, I love Lucy. Yeah.

Yeah. And John Mayer's like, this is what I, John Mayer's like, I'm open to being fluid, but like I need you to do this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds great.

Whatever. When your penis turns into another human, yeah, a little tiny wigs. I think that's awesome. Does that mean that it's time for the list? I think so. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list.

Man, you guys are going to be like, oh shit, Jackie. You've got to be stupid me. And I'm going to be like, yeah, guys, I just got to read the list because you are about to be so blown away by the facts that I'm about to give you. Hold on to your pants because I don't want you to find yourself pantsless and wet and sweating and, begging for it to stop. Is this about to be another list that is just referencing a different list on crap? No, yeah, totally. You might know them from the reality show that singers Ray J and Brandy are brother and sister,

but did you know that their first cousin is Snoop Dog? Wow. No, but I... Wait, what's the theme of this list, Jackie? It's a 30 weirdos celebrity connections. All right. Did you know... What about your weirdos?

that Alice Cooper and Groucho Marx became close friends after meeting at a party. They lived near each other and Groucho and Insomniac would ask him to come over and hang out when he couldn't sleep. I like this. I like this recently or am I crazy? No, I would have remembered. Maybe I heard about this somewhere else. I've heard this factoid recently. He'd say that Groucho can't sleep so he would just come over and they would like watch old TV together.

I love this. How fucking badass would back. I think that's, see, maybe this. Maybe this list isn't the worst list of all. I'm not shitting on it. I'm not shitting on it. It was just like, behold the list, but like never said what the list was. Yeah, you're just going to let you figure it out.

You figure out what the connection is. There was so much built. You had to figure out the theme of the list. You're welcome. I tried. I was trying to do something fun and you ruined my fun. Because if you just give me the information to read the name of the list. Ray J and Brandy are cousins with Snoop Dog.

What's the name of the list? I'd be like, I give up, man. I give a relationship. I'd be like family, weird celebrity families or something. Until I would read something like Steve Jobs taught Andy Warhol how to draw with a Macintosh. During a birthday party for Sean Lennon, son of Yoko Ono in the late John Lennon, Warhol was captivated by the computer Jobs had given the child, but had no idea how to use it. So Jobs taught him how to draw using the MacPaint software.

Oh my God, this entire thing needs a close reading. Okay, Steve Jobs was at Sean Lennon's birthday party and gave him an Apple computer before Andy Warhol had ever seen a computer like this? Correct. That's a crazy anecdote. This list is fantastic, Jackie. Thank you. I thought it had some stuff on here that I had never heard before. This doesn't matter as much, but I think it's kind of fun.

Cher used to babysit Anthony Kedis said the red hot chili peppers frontman. I was 12 years old. She was fit and fine. I knew that. and I just hit that hormonal plateau. Can you imagine having share babysit you when you're a 12-year-old boy? Yeah, it would have been a wild, man. That is strange.

I don't think 12-year-old boys really need babysitters. I mean, maybe I'm speaking out of turn there. I just think getting like a hot adult woman. Yeah, you're bridging the point where it's like you could probably just say, hey, here's dinner and, you know. It depends on what you're doing. If you're going out of town for a long time or if you're going to not be in the neighborhood

or whatever, obviously get a babysitter. It depends on the 12-year-old, et cetera, et cetera. I just think getting like a famously sexy woman for a 12-year-old boy is just a bizarre choice. Because, of course, the 12-year-old boy, yeah. It is the plot of a... Milk money. Yeah, it's a plot of a movie of that time.

Yeah, the movie is called Milk Money. Don't you remember Milk Money? How inappropriate Milk Money was? Ed Harris. It was Melody Griffith. I just remember she's in a very problematic, very hot costume. for most of the movie,

or at least from what I remember, I've been trying to get Jeff to rewatch it with me. I feel like Melanie Griffith was in like a bunch of problematic movies. Yeah. Sure, I'm sure she was. I haven't gone back to look. Yes, I remember because he takes her to the school.

Oh, so hard by this. Dude, how hot is she in that movie? She's so hot in this. I remember when he, yeah, because he gives a dissertation on the female body.

Oh my gosh. And in front of the class. Oh, yeah. He like, draws on her skimpy, like, like, a little onesie or whatever. Yeah. like where the ovaries are.

Yeah, I remember this now. This is confusingly hot. Yeah, dude. You're welcome. And looks like one of the many movies for the 90s that might not be made today. Oh, God. Oh, no.

Oh, there's no way they would ever make money now. Yeah, the whole thing was like, horny lady is fun with the boy. Yeah. It's like, might as well be the name of it. Horny lady has fun with the boy. Yeah, it's weird. That's a weird one.

I'm really glad it's not going. all bad because I definitely couldn't rewatch it then. Speaking of babysat, Billy Crystal was babysat by jazz legend Billy Holiday. She was the first person to take him to the movies. Yeah, did she

fucking suck his dick? No. I'm sorry. I brought up milk money. Good God. That's on you. I didn't realize who was going to make you that horned up. Yeah, she babysat it when Billy Crystal was 19, though, to be fair. Yeah, yeah.

And do you think, yeah, exactly. It was, she babysat him the night he did the Oscars, right? So he got to reverse his material for his big singing. Remember that big singing opener? I missed the days that we were excited about the host of the Oscars. And it was a fun time. I used to go to the opera. I used to go to the opera, dude.

Oh, that video is so good. I'm so glad we got to play that at San Diego. Thanks everybody for coming out or watching the live stream, rewatch, or whatever, of San Diego. Appreciate you guys. It was a lot of fun. We finally, and thanks to the fan who helped us find the, I used to go to the opera clip. Do you remember the person's name?

Yes, I was going to say. It was in the page seven subreddit that I, that the, because I googled, I used to go to the opera. And there was a post in the page seven subreddit, the headline of which is, I used to go to the opera. And it was somebody saying, does anyone know where this clip is? And somebody had commented, whoever you are, I hope you're listening. Thank you. You saved our lives. Jackie was looking through every Alex, sad, Alec Baldwin video.

testimonial on his Instagram page. And we couldn't find it. But you found it. It's a real Luke I am your father's situation where he doesn't actually specifically say I used to go to the opera. That's more of a summation of what he says. But he does say, I used to do fun things like X, Y, Z and go to the opera. And he's listing things and all the things are rich people things.

He's like, hilarious. The theater. The baseball game. Yeah. The opera. The Giants game. The Giants game. Dressed up and fencing.

suits, but I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm okay. Seven children I've got. Seven children. Like, it's so funny. I guess I've got to go inside again. I have to watch that every time I'm having a hard day with Winnie. I need to watch that video because it is just, it is so cathartic. It is so funny. Anyhow. All right. Last but not least, I guess that is not. I don't want to do that. That's a sad one. All right, I'll do this one and then I'll do one more. What was the sad one now? Well, this is the sad one. I can't end on that or else it's going to make us all too sad.

Christopher Reeve and Robin Williams met at Juilliard and were like brothers ever since. When Williams was broke in college, Reeves would give him food. And after the accident that paralyzed Reeve, Williams came to the hospital disguised as a proctologist who spoke with a Russian accent and was going to examine Reve. That was the first time since his accident that Reeve laughed. Williams's visit made him believe that there's still joy in life. And now he's dead. And it's sad. They're both dead.

But that's happy. They made each other so happy while they realized. Last but not least. Patch Adams sucked, though. Yeah, but has Philip Seymour Hoffman? That's true. I mean, you can't discredit Patch Adams. Jack is good.

Jack is. Why are we naming this? Wait, why are you saying Jack's not the Robin Williams follow-up movie to say that, but that's a good one? I don't know. We're naming once from the 90s. You know, I love to talk about Jack. Jack made me cry as a child. It's certainly not hook 26%.

Oh, I love Hook. In fact, I'm going to be yelling at, Come check out the leftovers over on the Patreon because I am going to be yelling about how the movie Critters has also gotten a bad over on Rotten Tomatoes. Critters is great.

Rotten Tomatoes, you're wrong. It deserves a higher rating. Anyway, last but not least, Lauren Hill attended childhood friend Zach Braff's Bar Mitzvah. The two grew up in the same New Jersey neighborhood. Hill was Braff's Coke and Pepsi partner during his coming of age ceremony.

Oh, it's a mitzvah game. I didn't understand what the hell that was. I was like, what's a Coke and Pepsi partner? Is that something? Is that like when you like, I don't know, you piss on each other's hands and guess who's a witch? Yeah. What a weird turn. You were like in the middle of seeing the list of this bizarre pause.

And then that's a mitzvah game. And I was like, what the fuck? It's a mitzvah game because it says it underneath. It says how it's a mitsma game. The Hill was Braff's Coke and Pepsi asterisk partner during his coming of age ceremony. At the bottom, there was an asterisk and it said, Mitzvah. It's a Mitzvah. It's a Mitzvah game.

It's a common Mitzvah game. Oh, it's a bird sanctuary. That's like, you're saying something like it's a common knowledge thing, but like we don't know what a Mitzvah game is. It's a Mitzvah game. If anybody knows the Coke and Pepsi Mitzvah game, please write it. I would love to hear about it. Did you play a Coke and Pepsi at your barbages?

Is it just a Coke and Pepsi taste test where you're just? try to guess which one's which, because I can pass it. I will fucking pass that. Oh, I'll pass it every time. Every time. It is absurd how not as good Pepsi is as Coke. Ouch. You're talking to a Pepsi family. Well, I'm a Coca-Cola. By the way, we had real-ass cocaine

on Team Coca-Cola. What do you have? Fucking... We're wholesome. We're family-oriented. And isn't that nice. Family-oriented with Cindy Crawford showing her gaping and beehole on the commercial. She didn't show her Be-ho.

Well, the version I watched, it was in there. No. Absolutely. She was sex and peps. But I can't see her right now because I think I'm going. Blind. Items. Oh, we can't see them.

The three-named actress has always been cult adjacent. But now she's making it clear. She is and has been in the cult, which explains why she doesn't believe in counseling. Not Jada Pinkett Smith. Absolutely, Jada Pinkett Smith. Well, it was interesting that she's a Scientologist. You just told me last week she wasn't a science. Scientologist.

She claims to not be. Here's the skinny. Here's the skinny. All right. I got, this is why I wanted to put this one in because this kind of gives you an eye. She's like a jace. She's like,

she's, she's in the cut. She's in the smear of it. And this is how. In her recent memoir, Worthy, Jada defends using Scientology to homeschool her children. They also opened the new village leadership academy, which uses study technology teaching methods,

an educational approach developed by Elron Hubbard. This is from the book. Yeah, so study technology, which is the most Scientology-ass, dumb fuck name for like an educational approach. Yeah. From the book, some of the controversy about my approach to education probably had to do with the use of the study technology learning method I discovered when I was introduced to Scientology.

Study tech, although it came from Scientology, is legally defined as secular. Because of my experiences on Sundays at the Ethical Society and my Christian, Islamic, Judaic, Buddhist, and Sufi studies throughout my adult life, I didn't hold. the same stigma around the Church of Scientology as most do. I was very clear that when I stepped into the Church of Scientology that becoming a member would not be possible nor was it my goal. My goal

was to embrace the basic study manual to educate myself about a method of learning. But the problem is this is study technology. Study technology, it's most study books, let's see. Okay, I've got a sentence explaining it from the Wikipedia that makes no fucking sense.

I was just pulling up the Wikipedia so throw it out of it. absolute hocus pocus. According to study tech, there are three barriers that prevent students from learning. Quote unquote, absence of a mass, wait, what does that mean? Is that, I don't know.

Who fucking knows. He's going to bring it down. Two steep a gradient, comma, and the third is the misunderstood word. So what the fuck is this? And the most important sentence is right. In accordance with Elrod Hubbard's beliefs, the method denies the existence of

psychiatric conditions or any biological learning difficulties, which is... I agree. Oh, wow. Man, I've been changed. So in other words, it's another Scientology thing where it's like, there's no such thing as needing therapy or issues. No, no, no, it's just you don't know the right principles.

These are the correct principles you need to be teaching with it. They get different dictionaries, like their own special dictionaries and students are directed to find your misunderstood word. Yawning is taken as a physical sign that a student, has misunderstood a word or concept. I am so sorry, but this is absolutely insane. Also, watch out for applied scholastics. It's also promoted outside the church

by affiliated corporation Applied Scholastics. That's a thinly veiled Scientology organization that's trying to infest your child's brain, essentially, with Scientology concepts. Wow. Yeah, dude, I'm not buying it, Jada. I guess she's fucking evil I guess she's evil

I guess she's evil All right Also you guys did bring up Which I'd never seen that clip before You were talking about So someone wrote in telling us about this clip Yes With Will Smith that he was in the background

That she was like making some video Jada Pickett Smith was And he was like Man please can we not put this on Instagram Can we just like have a conversation And she's like You see what I have to put up with You see what I have to deal with here

Like making it like a joke When he was genuinely asking her to not be posting this. Yeah, you can't see for sure, but I'm pretty sure she's not to great. Yeah, yeah. It's, it's looking rough. It is funny to, like, present yourself as such a kind of, like, um, like a sturdy leader and then be like, also I teach my kids using this, um, weird cult curriculum.

It just makes me so sad. It makes me so sad that she's connected to these things because, like, I like the idea that she's promoting open communication. Totally. In families. Like, I think that that is something that is very important to encourage. And I hate that she was like the face of that. And now it's like, well, what an idiot. She's bad. And now it's like, well, some of the things that she was at least promoting, like, at least

communication-wise, I think it's really good. And she's very charismatic. Everything else. Now finding everything else about her. I'm just like, man. She's clearly an intelligent, she's an intelligent and thoughtful and charismatic and talented person who has directed all of that energy. the way that you do, if you're caught up with, like, the narcissism of Hollywood, I think, is, like, you instead of, like, directing all of that intelligence and critical thinking towards, like, you know, something else, you, like, directed into this weird, like, Scientology curriculum, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like there's lots of people in Hollywood that are like that, or just famous or rich people in general who have, like, so much to offer, but then instead get all wrapped up with these, you know, kind of simplistic ways of thinking, because that's kind of what is, that's what they get called.

caught up in and instead, yeah, like, I think she's an incredibly, like, smart and thoughtful person, but it's like the fact that you're like, I'm homeschooling, my kids using study tech is such, of course, you know, whatever, like, that's not, that one thing can never make or make or break a person, but it's like an indicator to me of a kind of, of the kind of like group think that happens in these types of circles, you know? Yeah. That's yucky ducks. Misunderstanding the word.

This former child actress turned teen actress, turned adult actress, turned talk show host, went on a rampage against her ungrateful writers and said they were a dime a dozen and easy to replace. Oh, my God, Drew. Man, we were just men. Burn your goodwill. How quickly one week we're like, we love Drew Barrymore. We've only earned good things. Now she's a Batman villain. I mean, she is the penguin in this.

Variety recently put up an article with this headline. Drew Barrymore's Post-Strike season premiere, a meandering muddle that could use better writing. Which I thought was fun. You know? Yeah, I bet it could. I mean, time it doesn't, you see? Similar, like, I think to, to Jada Pinkett Smith.

And, like, Drew Barrymore is obviously a very thoughtful, very talented, very intelligent person. In this case, she just was way too far up her own ass to see the light of day and, like, realize that the temperature, the way the way the wind is blowing, you should side with the unions and not the other way around. I think that celebrity just makes you lose your perspective on things. But yelling that the writers are. a dime or a dozen, it's like, are you in the 1950s right now? Like, I feel like now I just see her completely retextualized

as a person literally in a black and white movie. Yeah. They're a dime it dozen, you hear. They're easy to replace, I tell you. I run this town, not them. I'm not the bad guy. They're the bad. I'm the nice girl. I've never been kissed. And they're all on a train. Yeah, they're all on a, like, some big railway train. Yeah. It was an

E.T. Damn you. That alien movie was a big, big picture that year. Here we go. Last one. You know what will stop the bad press for the A-list singer? You know, we'll turn it a whole 180, a one-off reunion show with the boy band.

That is looking a lot more likely than it was a month ago. No. I mean, just because of Britney's memoir, he's worried about his bad PR, so he's going to go on an NSYNC reunion tour. So he's going to go on a fucking tour. He's so fucked right now. He looks so bad right now.

And his marriage is in like, like dire straits. I mean, it's a nightmare for this guy right now. You know what he mean? Obviously, we're talking about JT. I saw some, like, there was some viral video of him dancing on stage and it's like, if this didn't get him stopped,

I don't know what will. I remember that video as well. Just that horrible where he was just like kind of dancing. Or somebody else was like, look at him. He's given up. Why can't we see it all right now? Anyways, yeah, Justin Timberlake, of course, and in sync, I, I definitely would believe it.

That they would be like, ha ha, we're back to dancing. like puppets for you. Who was it who was just telling me, was it you Holden, or maybe it was Jake, that in the, the in sync hot ones,

that like, he's the least charismatic of all of them. Yes, yeah, yeah. That, like, all of the, sync is, like,

really fun and charming and, like, really great to watch. And then it's just him. And that, again, doesn't surprise me because he's the one with the most success.

So I'm sure he's the one who's, like, lost the ability to be a real person the most, you know? Yeah. Yeah, he's falling quite a bit in the last couple years,

for sure. And also, again, talk about the way the wind blows and just figuring out where things are at. For the longest time, he was like, yeah, Britney Spears, crazy, right? Oh, yes. And now he's like, I'm so sorry that I was so dismissive to her. You know, like, I feel like he just got caught up and like, oh, I am part of the problem. And I wasn't part of the problem for like 15 years because nobody was talking about me that way.

Because I got off Scott free. Yeah, screwed over Janet Jackson as well. His, his, like, karma, yeah, I think it was finally. It ran out for sure. Totally. His karma was up. That's spoken like a man that saw errors again.

Oh, don't even give me started. We had a great time. It was fun. I took Lexi. We had an awesome time. Stonyer watch, which is good. That's good. Not as, oh, you mean not as

absolutely hammered in the middle of the day? Yes, yes. We forewent getting completely hammered. We also again saw it at 3.30 the afternoon. Hell yeah, dude. It was a real. The witching hour. Yeah, it was a real flower.

flower moon or whatever it is. Yeah, it was good times. Hell yeah, but you can see again? Yeah, I can see again. We're back. Hey. Welcome back, bro. Just in time for us to get the hell out of here.

Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us today at page 7. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me over on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And start getting your gravy's creamed. I know it's like, I know we're working on our Halloween costumes. We have up, but just start dreaming of taters and start just, oh, cubed bread covered in butter because we're going to be hanging out on Thanksgiving over at twitch.tv.tv. forward slash holdenators ho and you got to prepare yourself now get the

fireball now. I love that earlier. You're jumping on this promo. You're like to mark it. Halloween has not even happened. I know but no all right. I'm the Christmas this year. Okay. I'm the one coming in. Target thinks Halloween is over. There's no costumes at Target anymore. It didn't even happen yet, Target. Slow down. This is because I went to home goods over the weekend. I went to Home goods, we went to Marshall's. Oh my God. Jeff and I got Boba T's and we went to all these places and we were looking for more Halloween stuff. Everything's gone. It's gone. So we just like screamed at Christmas's name. But where are the turkeys? I know. Indeed. I know. Where have all the turkeys gone? If you figure out how to decorate your house in between

Halloween and Christmas, let me know because my husband thinks that I'm putting up the Christmas and Hanukkah decorations too early every year. And he's right. But we have all these fun Halloween lights up. And so it's sad for us, me and the kids, when I take down the Halloween lights and I say, we can't put up any more lights till after Thanksgiving. Make it as a cornucopia. Make it like a light up cornucopia. A light

up corn. Tis them, corn is maize. Yeah, this is going to be, this is going to be interesting. Corn is maze. You just say that a lot. And hand them corn. This is how the people were. This is what happens when you don't go see Killers of the Flower Moon in the movie theater.

You turn into a holden. So get your After the movie theater, we're saving the movie theater this year. I think they've upgraded the education system since Holden was in elementary school. That was the only thing they taught. I swear to you. And they taught you that they wore buckles on their hats. It was the other one, which feels counterproductive. It's a weird place to put a buckled soon.

Yeah. Remember when they taught us all the peace and the peaceful dinner that they had? Yeah. The very friendly peaceful dinner they all had. They had such a good time together. Everybody shaking hands, holding hands. Very Andy Cohen, John Mayer, scenario between the indigenous people and the pilgrims.

Oh, yes. Absolutely. It's like, are they secretly in love? They're just so into each other. There's a lot of blind items back then about the indigenous people and the pilgrims being secretly in love. It was really a cool time. Well, there you go. You have to say your little end thing. I'm shoutouts. I'll tell you what, I want to plug the blue corn moon. That is a huge one right now. Blue corn moon. Check me out.

Twitch.tv.tv.4. slash hold to natures ho. We got Jack up with the Holdies every Friday at 6pm ET. You should not miss that one. It's the best. And we're back on until pretty much the holidays, by the way, with that. I know we've been kind of on and off with stuff because of tour, but we are fully back from tour for the rest of the year and ready to bring you guys so much awesome stream shit. It's going to be so much fun over these next couple months.

Also, patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. If you'd like, I mean, so many people are continuing to come in. It's really kind of amazing, and there's so many offerings there, and people just seem really pleased with the extra recordings. Every single week we provide for $5 a month. We've got Jackie's book readings, The Leftovers, all sorts of good stuff over there. For $10 a month, you can join us for our jersey short watch-long every single Thursday. Also, also, pay some of a podcast at gmail.com.

Please write in with your conspiracy theories with your blind items. Really appreciate that. Thank you so much. MJ. My name is MJ. I am looking at Twitter, and a lot of people are laughing. very hard about Michelle Williams reading Britney Spears. Apparently it is

transcribed that she says fooshes, foes, what's up, homie in the book? And everyone is loving it. So everyone have fun with the Britney Spears Michelle Williams' audio. And I am J.K.L. Kat on Instagram. Time for the song.

Shout. Shout. Shout. Let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're gonna read it to you. Come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the shoutouts. And you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com.

Whatever you wish, send it on in to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And this includes many things beyond Sean Stevens. And yes, I am rectangular. you, la. Did it just jump back in your head? I'm so sorry. But I also want to send out apologies to two separate people, Ali and Alina, who both wrote in not about Sean Stevens, but about how Sean Stevens did infiltrate both of their algorithms as well as this person, Rayon Base. Ray on Base, which I think we just need to talk about next episode, because then I just lost like 10 to 15 minutes just standing, like staring at Rayon base.

And I need other people to also. I need Holden and MJ to also look at this because as Alina described him, weirdly, they both have uncanny valley type stares into the camera and giant blocky teeth. I do appreciate Ali describing him. He says he has the personality of a Victorian doll and the face of a police sketch drawing but tries to endear the masses with piano songs about unrequited love or morbid EDM tunes. Again, Rayon, R-A-Y-O-N-Base 2020, and now I'm scared of even saying it in front of the phone, but I just watched the videos, so it's already infiltrated me, so I just want to say thank you.

And also, I mean, I'm sorry to everyone for extending the life of Sean Stevens inside of your brain. but we do have a couple of other shoutouts to get to. This one comes in from Avery. Avery says, I want to shout out my best friend, Ashley. We've been friends since the Stone Age. She's an amazingly strong person who has inspired me every day. Anytime I talk with her, she had something going on. She was working on herself through therapy, painting, giving her time to the needy,

taking care of her elderly animals. Her husband surprised her with a divorce. after 21 years of a relationship and 10 of those married, he thought she would fall apart after abandoning her 1,100 miles away from her home while on vacation with only one week's worth of clothing and her two pets. But guess what? While it was the worst way I can think of to initiate a divorce, she is doing well because she's a strong woman who knows her worth

and will persevere despite this horrible insult and temporary setback. Her friends have rallied around her and she has all the ammunition and support she needs to move forward and tackle this hurdle and move forward like the shining star she is. Five moms are so upset by this, including her husbands, that she has the fuel to fire her own son, not to mention her own steely resolve to see this through. Divorce is so heartbreaking, and all of her friends, were once his too, but after this surprise upset, there isn't anyone standing on his side. She did everything for him. She sold her home, moved thousands of miles, took care of bills and

living arrangements, all so he could pursue his dream. This is the only time a creative like me will say, let the dream die and give birth to a new dream in which this wonderful woman will be able to pursue her dreams without criticism. I love Paige. seven and appreciate all you do and Jackie's shoutouts always make me cry from happiness. For right now, everything is hopeful but raw, but I want everyone to know no matter what you are. You are not alone. And we won't let her climb this mountain without love and support. Love Avery.

Oh, so much love to you and Ashley. You got this bitch. And fuck that. Dude, fuck right off. I'm so happy that you were surrounded by people and that you can just put your rage into a thousand sons and get through this with power. Hell yeah, bitch. Next up, we've got Aetna, the littlest sister,

here to wish their big brother, Callum McCord, a huge, happy 35th birthday! They say life hasn't always been easy for my big brother, Callum, but recently he started listening to your pod religiously, and this will make his day. Oh my God, Callum, I'm giving you the biggest 35th. fifth year old hug. We're in our mid-30s. We have to hold on to it while we can. We're not in our late 30s yet. We've got this, all right? Happiest of birthdays to you and I'm sending

many, many a kiss. And last but not least, we've got a message in from David to Caitlin. David says, we work at the same lovely software company together and found kinship once we discovered our mutual love of all things last podcast network. We kikied almost nonstop about side stories, and I recently got her hooked on page seven. We slacked each other about the rectangular song, nearly died about the Jackie slash Holden Pittsburgh dive bar story, can someone say field trip, and definitely shared some feelings about crock cowboy boots. Also, now that Holdy Who has had some time on side stories, you can count on Caitlin and I supporting bids for Jackie and MJ to make their own crossover slash guest appearances, as long as Marcus and Henry give

consent, which is always sexy beyond measure. Thanks, y'all, as always, for being yourselves. Caitlin and I wouldn't have it any other way. And thank you guys. I love, oh, my God, there is nothing I like more than a work friendship where you Kiki and Slack. I miss my Slack Kiki so much. I, oh, thank you guys so much. And it gives you something to talk about around the water cooler. And it's what we started page 7 for in the first place. So thank you so much for joining us. I understand that croutes might not be an hour future, but I will say I did purchase the Lisa Frank crocs. I have multiple pairs of crocs. How quickly it happens.

May you just blink it all of a sudden. I'm like, I have three pairs of crocs. It's been weeks. What's wrong with me? They're like gremlins. Did I feed them after midnight? Anyway, sorry. Didn't mean to end the show on that.

But love you guys so much. We'll see you guys next week. Well, you'll hear us next week. And we'll be back for our Halloween episode. So much love to y'all. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.