Page 7 - Ep. 511: Spooky Lasagna

Episode Date: November 3, 2023

This week Jackie uncovers some of her monsterfuckery backstory, Paranormal Activity leaves MJ's home in a state of eternal light and Holden keeps on Knife Dancin'! Jackie blasted through Britney Spears’ Memoir ‘The Woman in Me’, the entertainment world reacts to the loss of Matthew Perry and Goop herself recalls a very different kiss, Kid Halloween bringing joy to all as Jackie recalls memories of her candy rationing skills leaving Henry HANGRY, some horrifying celeb Halloween costumes, Megan Fox goin' aggro and tagging SAG-AFTRA in her Halloween photos, old man bullies a 20 year old over her teeth, and in Celeb Conspiracy Corner: Is Justin Trudeau's Wife having an affair with Idris Elba?!? A disgusting list, BATTY BLINDZ, SPOOKY SHOUTZ and MOOOOORE!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

So the song came on at a party that I was at over the weekend, and I realized I think that this was the song that when I sang it on page 7 made me realize I was a monster fucker. Hey there, little red riding hood. You sure are looking good. You everything a big bad wolf could want. And that song came on, and I was just like, and I was like, I think that that was it. I think it was that song. I love the second verse.

into a monster fucker. I love the second verse. Putting my penis in the creature from the black. That's not. Although I would. I think that, like,

I'm pretty sure the creature is, like, the universal monster that I would pit. But I feel like, really, I thought you were more of a hair-based monster fuck.

Or, I mean, or, or a werewolf. But, like, there's just something about, like, I feel like, like,

you're, hey, you're preach of the choir. I'm a slime boy all day long. I know, he's made of, Slimey monster.

Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like he's just got the kindest heart. Wait a second. I think Gronky would technically be a monster. I don't think so. I don't think that Gronky is a slime monster. I think he's, I see him more of like, because you played that music video.

Live it on the edge. And when Gronky comes out, living on the edge, because it says it right as Gronky comes out, and we watch it all the time. I see him now as more. more of like a frog man. Right. He lives, I think Grunkey lives in slime, but he doesn't produce his own slime. Right, his own secretions.

You know what I mean? Absolutely. But that's interesting. What about you, MJ, slime-based or hair-based? I mean, there might be, I guess dead person-based if you want to go Frankenstein's monster. I also spoke too soon because it's like there's also the invisible man, which would be fun. Yeah, that would be a lot of fun. That's just a guy, though, who you can't see.

Yeah, but it's a guy I can't see. I mean, I got to go hair-based. you know, we got to, you know, werewolves are fine. All month I've been thinking about Halloween and like what I'm scared of and why, what I'm not scared of. And what you'd fuck.

What I'd fuck. Yeah, also by the way, for us, guys, we are recording on Halloween. We literally all ate candy before we recorded at 8.30 in the morning. And I'm all zipped up. So I just want to throw that out there. You guys are all in Thanksgiving land,

but the three of us are firmly still in Halloween town. Is this what it feels like to be with Mariah Carey the day after Thanksgiving. Like, I feel like I'm being near Jackie, like this close to the beginning of... I am thick with gravy. Right. I'm about to explode.

It's very exciting. I want to get back to what MJ's been thinking about with what they are scared of, though, because I feel like we gotta, we gotta get into this. Well, I just, I am not scared. We've been watching, we've done every genre. We had a great, we didn't do 31, but we did so many good.

We did The Exorcist. We did The Shining. We just did paranormal activity. I'm very. proud of you because you are watching actually scary movies. We are. We did Night of Living Dead. You know,

we've done so many good ones. Paranormal activity was definitely the scariest. I did wake up last night to my husband who had turned on all the lights in the house and was just awake in bed, not willing to turn his back towards me or towards the wall. So he was really, really struggling. He keeps walking around the house.

starting at every sound. We have three cats, so there's lots of sounds going on in our house. But it was really all the lights. So then I woke up and I said, can I turn the lights off? And he said, I guess, as if like, at your own risk, you can turn the lights off at three in the morning.

All the lights in the house were on. He is very upset. Good Lord. A real Michael Jackson over there. It's terrifying. Wait, so Gideon is the more fearful one of you, too? I didn't realize. He's very scared of monsters. Yes. And I'm just not scared of, we did, we did the Dracula.

We did so many. And I'm like, I just keep laughing at all of them. I'm not scared of monsters, but I think it's because I grew up watching, like, news magazine shows like 2020 and Dateline. And I spent my childhood just being very scared of, like, realistic ways to die. Right. You know, like, kind of innocuous, horrible things that happen to everyone. And, like, not at all.

Like, I'm like, it's a relief to think about a vampire. Like, please kill me. with a vampire, you know, because I'm not worried about being killed by a vampire, but I'm constantly worried about being killed by a car, you know, so I just, it's relaxing. Solidarity with Gideon. I also, Paranoa activity got me pretty good, too. That was one of the few movies, especially as an adult where I did have some issues with sleep, like, for a couple days after, and then I kind of normalized, but, and I was- I love it. I love getting got like that. I love being scared of a movie. Oh, yeah. It's so effective. But also,

like, yeah, it was one of those where I was saying this before we started, but it is a great horror movie because it makes you, like, normally you watch a scary hard movie, you're like, oh, but at least I have this person I can cuddle up with and like feel safe with at night. If you're with somebody, right? And if you're single, you just go, I can't wait to get hit by a bus. That's not true. Yeah, but you're, you're not, but paranormal activity takes that from you. You feel the opposite of safe with your significant other.

In fact, they're the one that's going to, you're the one. You're going to wake up and they'll be standing over you. All morning, Gideon's just been walking around the house going, it feeds off negative energy. It feeds off negative energy. So he got up and checked the kids' room. I don't think he turned on the lights in the kids' room, thank God. But he may as well have because the hallway lights were on,

the bathroom lights were on. He's just like, smile, children, always smile. Never think about sad things or the demon will get you. Yeah. Just awful. I've been trying to get God. I feel like I'm being a real Louise Belcher over here.

It's rare. That's a rarity to get God. I mean, that's a special thing. Hereditary was the last movie to do it to me. Man, Hereditary shook me to my core. Hereditary got my ass. All that whole ending sequence. I couldn't get out of my head. I kept thinking I was going to see some woman

in the top corner of my bedroom. Don't do it. No, that's the one that everyone says like is so, so, so. I don't know if Gideon. I don't know what it's about. No, I don't think it was. Is it a demon also? It's...

Yeah. Is, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, totally. Because I say blanketly yes. Yeah. But it just...

It just... It goes there on a level at the end that you're like... Especially you don't know anything about it? Yeah. No, I don't know anything about it. Oh. Yeah, no, we're not saying anything. No, we're not saying anything.

Yeah. I just see it. I don't know. Because I also saw it. I did the... La la la. I went the day that it opened. I was looking at nothing.

I know nothing because I was very excited about this month. movie and it delivered. Although I don't know how I'd feel I will. This will maybe give a little bit of a nod of something, but I don't know as a parent, FMJ, should watch it. I mean,

I think you should. Yeah. As a parent, it's not like a dear Zachary situation. Okay, God, yeah. Nothing's worse than Tears Zachary. To me, that's the scariest movie. Like, don't make me watch Deer Zachary ever again. That's a horror movie.

That's a horror movie. I think about that. I was looking through Shudder last night, And I was just like, I love that they have threads on Shudder because again, like, yeah, the horrors of like a nuclear bomb. Yeah. Like that, that kind of stuff. That's the stuff that like gets my guts. Get your engine running.

Yeah. Well, no, my gut's roiling holding. My engine running. Yeah, I see that to go, yeah. How do you royle a gut? My, yeah, it's joined. Yeah, they're churning. Oh, okay.

You're just, your heads in Thanksgiving. Now you're just thinking about how. She's based in road. I am looking every week. I get my grocery ads. And I look because I'm waiting for the turkeys to go on sale because the second they go on sale. I think it might be this week. Well, the sales start on Wednesday, so we'll see.

We won't know until tomorrow. How many turkeys are you going to make before Thanksgiving? Hopefully at least three. Okay. Wow. Oh, because you do test runs. Do you just runs? And how many, do you also do side, practice sides?

Don't need to. Don't need to. Don't need to. That's old hat. Yeah. That's old hat. That's an idiot's game. That's a fools dance.

Fuck you. But I'm over here. I'm just all hopped up right now. I'm sorry. I just can't. I just like, I'm hopped up because, man, I did a lot this weekend.

And what did you do, Jackie? Well, I'm going to let you guys know. Don't, I don't need you to be the puppet. I can be the puppet. Yeah, we don't need to ask. It's already been asked. What is it? The song that never ends?

I. Man, I've been thinking about Sherry Lewis a lot lately. Yeah, who's that? Sherry Lewis from Lamb Chop. Okay, why? Just think about a lamb chop. Oh, okay. Well, you just have food on the brain again.

Yeah, everything's food right now with Jack. You get to decode anything right now. You just got to remember, it's almost Thanksgiving. We're within reach at this point. I've already had my first Thanksgiving meeting. But where is the November 31 for 31? 31. 31 turkeys in 31 days. Well, Thanksgiving is coming out this year, which is like a horror.

Like, I don't know. I haven't even seen a trailer for it. I've only seen a billboard for it. And I was like, gonna see that. Of course. Don't know what that is, but it's a horror Thanksgiving movie and I'm going to watch it. Hell yeah. We've got to.

Wait, what did you do this weekend, Jackie? Oh, thank you for asking. I read all of the Britney Spears memoir, and I was really proud of myself, even though it wasn't that long of a book. Bombshell alert. Bombshell alert. Hit us with it. What did Justin's penis look like? What did it dark?

She really, you know what? It's kind of crazy because there's just so much in her career that honestly, I know that this is a crazy thing to say, 280 pages just wasn't enough. Wow. I feel like she didn't really get, like, she breathed past so much and she's like, and then this crazy thing happened, and then she would just go right past it. I'm like, yeah, but like, I want to get more into the meat of that. between her and Madonna.

Like, I want to get more into that. Like, wait. And then you all of a sudden were like, I was about to join Kabbalah. And then, like, I kept going. And then I was like, but wait, what about that? Yeah. And there was so much, like, and honestly,

not to suck my suck over here, but. So you just said not to do it, then you just started doing it? I felt like. It's a turkey leg. She's just eating a turkey leg. It's a turkey leg. That's, oh, my God.

Calumian candy. Yeah. How did it go from El? Halloween can't eat in Turkey. I'm just covered in Greece. Catch me now, Holden. Catch me now. That's right.

Usually we do this. When we record this podcast, I'm also chasing Jackie around the studio. Can't catch me. Covered in Greece. Dude, Jackie, you're so in your element right now. It's like amazing. I know.

I really see you coming to your own. Thank you. Just because Thanksgiving is just up on us. Up on us. You can feel me. I'm moist with some. Not yet. Not yet.

It's the candy. I get to eat candy in the morning. I never eat candy anymore. Jackie had one little mini kit cat. She's incoherent. No, I also ate a Reese's pumpkin because it was pumpkin-shaped and you know those are the best shapes. All right. Now I'm dying.

You're like not to suck my own nubbins or whatever you said. Yeah. What are you suck? What do you suck? And that threw us off completely. So what were you about to suck your? nubs about. That the Britney Spears pop history we did, I think, was very thorough and hit all of the

points that she brought up. But the one thing that I will say that we were wrong about is that the part that I cried while raiding the Britney Spears memoir, of course she did, was when she was in her bleakest moment and she realized that there were people, I'm not going to start going right now, that there were people that were fighting for her. her fight when she couldn't fight for herself. Really? And like that's what like the free Britney people?

The first like the, yes, the beginning of the like hashtag free Brittany movement. Wow. But she didn't like the documentaries that came out about like she was like I wish that I could have told my story first. But like the free Britney movement like she was seeing it and was like being filled with hope by the fact that like okay I'm not just in my own. Like, I'm not just truly going crazy. Yeah. This is happening and people can see it happening. And, like, because she was so, her brains were so scrambled by that point.

Yeah. One, yeah, I can, I mean, the part of the book that I haven't, I have not listened to the Michelle Williams version yet. Foshes, Foshes, Foshes, Foshes. You have to explain that. I'm talking about Michelle. Sorry, there was a clip that went viral of Britney Spears wrote about Justin Tim Timberlake using quite an accent. And Michelle Williams has to pretend to be Justin Timberlake

doing the accent. And so the way she does it- Hip-hop dialect. And Brittany is explicitly saying that in sync, more than the Backstreet Boys, in sync was more of a hip-hop tried to get cultural capital from trying to be like adjacent to black stars.

Yes. And like she doesn't use the word co-opt, at least in the segment as it's been going viral, but it seems like she is suggesting perhaps that NSYNC was trying to get, you know, that JT was trying to perform some of street cred that maybe he didn't have. Which I was so young, I didn't see that at all.

Like, as someone that just, like, looked at the pictures, you know what I mean? Like staring at the pictures and the teen beat. I had no idea. With the bean flicking and everything you were doing. Yeah, exactly. But you were so hard enough. You weren't thinking about the cultural.

That was more for Legalis. Oh, yeah, yeah. I saved it. But the thing that really, has been hitting me about the memoir that she talks about is, you know, that the way that the conservatorship was used to like justify keeping her from her kids, you know? And I feel like that would scramble your brain so much to be told, like, you are not safe. You cannot be trusted to like parent these kids. And then to go into this like vortex for your entire adult life and

have no perspective and be told over and over like you are not trustworthy, you are not safe, you are not the person who can care for your children. And then to come to years later to realize that there's people out there organizing to say that this, what's happening to you is fucked up. Like that's actually devastating to think about that that was that her seeing the free Britney people was the first time that she realized like that she could have any perspective. Yes. How can you, it would be so blinding to have your kids, you know, taken from you like that.

And if she was able to be part of their life. But there were microphones everywhere. They bugged everything. She had no privacy whatsoever. I really need to know more about this handler lady that you said was like, you read more about in the book that was mentioned in this other article you sent. Yeah, just talking about like Andy Cohen was talking about actually like trying to interact with Brittany that she wasn't literally allowed to answer any questions that she had a handler with her at all times

and was told what to say for everything. She literally was not allowed to have a mind of her own at all And she would just be like begging not to do things And she's like, it's me, it's me who has to do it And they just kept forcing her to do shit That she didn't want to do So who is this woman and what is her job title And how do you get that job?

Jesus is a part of the conservatorship Is she like a life coach? Like is she... They don't even know they don't go into it Because I had, I did have someone who was dealing with kind of a rehabby situation and stuff like that. And then their mom made them get like this life coach lady who was trying to like force the person in recovery to like just do all this.

It was like weird, right? I'm just like, where do these people come from? Who is this person? Honestly, it makes me think of a Bob's Burger's Halloween episode that I watched last night, but I'm not going to, that's not. Is this not the time to bring that up? I think it's the time. Yeah, okay.

When Linda's sister Gail also has a life coach, and then they have this, like, whole harrowing night where, like, they both get these, like, notes about things they did in their past, and they have to go try and figure out, like, who knows about when they smash these pumpkins. And then it turns out it was just her life coach helping her confront her past. And it was, like, a nightmare that she was put through. And it's pretty funny. But yeah, I, you know, I just, I'm just like, how, yeah, how do these people end up in these positions? Like, is she a lawyer? Like, what is she? She's a member.

She's a member hired by her dad, hired by her father. So did she not go, like, more in detail about the, because, that's why, like, I wanted more information about. Because essentially, she had, like, her best friend, like, kind of, like, an auntie type. Her name is Felicia that she had for her entire life that was always with her. And then they took Felicia away from her. Okay, Alicia was good. She was a good woman. Okay.

And then she was taken away from her during the conservatorship. Like the one person that she like really connected with. They took her away. Of course. And then like Kevin Federline literally just like ghosted her. Put two children in her within two years and then just fucking ghosted. And like that's insane. Yeah, those kids are a year apart.

And she had post, she had peridatal and postpartum depression. and then she lost her kids when they were so young like four months old young and it's that part it hits me so hard and now she's dancing with blades and now she's dancing with knives and you know what I would be dancing with knives

because her brains are scrambled yes that's like the least she can be doing is dancing with knives that's the thing my god first of all you have everything that happened to her as a young person and then you have two kids in two years you get perinatal and postpartum depression and then you have your kids taken away.

It's like your brain has just been battered with a fucking baseball bat. And then you are held captive by your father for a decade. And then everyone's like, you cry. And it's like, yeah, yeah. Every terrible thing that could happen to me so far has happened to me so far, you know? Yes. Yeah, by the way, peri-natal sounds like the frontman of an alt rock band. Am I right?

Unbelievable. Come on, we got to make jokes in a time. It's talking about blade dancing abuse victims. You know what I mean? Jesus, I'm just trying to light it up a little bit. I'm just saying everyone was like, oh, she shaved her head. Have you ever heard of anything so crazy? It was postpartum depression.

Everyone was just like a woman shaving her head. That must, something must truly be wrong with her. Oh, my God. And then just, oh, and then. And she talks about what it meant to her when, like, her mother wrote in her own memoir that she put out about watching her beautiful girl go away just because she cut off her hair. Like, it's like this whole, like, she just got even more angry and she just raged in silence. Sorry. This is, you know what?

It's great. This is what we're at pop culture podcast. This is the biggest pop culture shit, you know, go right now. I'm glad that I read it. Yeah, I'm glad you read it too. I, like, you can tell that, like, I think that she either, like spoke it out and had like a ghostwriter help her but like it seemed very much like a conversation.

Like I actually kind of got into it as I read it and it was just very easy to read it. And in true Halloween fashion the ghostwriter she got was an actual gun. A dead woman scorn that wrote that helped her write the book. I don't think so. I hope she makes so much money off of it

and I'm happy for her. But yeah, I mean, it's interesting to write a memoir. I feel like a memoir and a biography are obviously different things. And I feel like it's, of course, 280 pages is not nearly enough for the life of a pretty experience. I just wanted so much more. It's very weird that I was just like, I started off being like, all right, okay. And then I got so into it that I, yeah, I wanted to read more about these very intense.

There's her youth and then there's her like transitional period and then there's her adulthood or like three distinctions. The good thing about this is this book is wildly successful. Jada Pinkett Smith's book, not so much apparently from what I've heard. But this book is wildly successful. And so that leads one to believe that she maybe will write maybe another one that will fill in some more. When somebody's autobiography is like incredibly successful, a lot of times like I'm thinking McFoly, one of my favorite autobiographies, have a nice day by the wrestler McFoly. He ended up writing like two more autobiographies

off of the success of that. Hell yeah. And filling in more gaps and telling more, you know, because also like how much does she get into modern day? I feel like there's so much going on just now. Right. Does she talk about dancing with the blades? I mean, she talks about how Instagram gives her freedom.

And that that was the only place that she felt like she could like be free. It's funny that she says that because she only does one thing on it. Yeah, but you know, she does that a lot. And maybe she loves it. So govah. I was going to transition us into like another sad story. You know, like the one where we lost a friend. I think that these are very inappropriate.

All right. R.I.P. Matthew Perry is very, you know, he's very young. Very, very young. You said it. What do you mean? The one where we lost a friend. Because I've seen so. Oh my God.

I hate that. I have seen so many people writing like the one where we say. goodbye. Oh, no, please, no. And I'm just like, guys, I don't think that that man wanted to be defined. He has explicitly said. No, he has that whole quote. Yeah, please said it. Only as Chandler Bing for the love of God, it's clearly plagued him for his entire life. And but don't worry, you know, there are other people out there remembering him in different kinds of ways. Yes, we're talking about Winneth Paltrow. Make it about her. She just posted this Instagram caption, just writing about like,

I met Matthew Perry in 1993 at the Williams Town Theatre Festival in Massachusetts. Of course. We were both there for most of the summer doing plays. He was so funny and sweet and so much fun to be with. We drove out to swim in creeks, had beers in the local college bar,

kissed in a field of long grass. It was a magical summer. He had shot the pilot of friends, but it had not aired yet. He was nervous, hoping his big break was just around the corner. It was. I'm not going to keep going

because I don't care to. But they smooge. And now I present to the world Matthew Perry ice cream cone holders. They smell like him. They smell like their times kissing under the boardwalk, Holden.

He also talked about kissing her and his memoir. So it's not... In a closet, though. Is it different? It wasn't in a grassy field or whatever. That's true. Now, yeah, here's one quiverum.

The best thing about me, bar none, is that if anybody comes to me and says, I can't stop drinking. Can you help me? I say yes. And follow up and do it. When I die, I don't want friends to be the first thing that's mentioned. I want that to be the first thing that's mentioned. And I'm going to live the rest of my life proving that. And he opened up like a home for men in recovery as well. And it did so many efforts when it comes to recovery and, you know, helping people get through it as he had had the same help in his life.

I did also, though, maybe it was a Reddit post or something. It was like, ah, the neighbor's Halloween decorations really aren't working all of a sudden. And it was, you know, instead of the friends, it was skeletons on a bitch with the umbrellas everywhere. Oh, no. This is obviously before he passed away. Oh, my God, they probably had to take it down. I'm sure you're right.

They probably felt real bad. We didn't mean this. This is not what we met. I didn't think that was a little funny. He also has a quote about being like, when I was young, all I wanted was to be famous. And, you know, I had no idea what it would do to me. Like, I actually didn't, I hadn't really thought about Matthew Perry. I mentioned before.

I keep getting all these friends fan pages in my Facebook algorithm and it's much worse now. I don't know why. Facebook thinks I love friends. I don't love friends. I enjoyed it when it was on TV. Stop saying it around the phone. Yeah, stop saying I love my friends. I can't wait to talk to my friends.

ever again. Say enemies. I love my enemies. And now my Facebook is flooded with like sad friends pages, like tributes to Matthew Perry. And I'm just like, why? I don't need to know this much about friends. But I will say that everything I have seen from Matthew Perry since he died makes me realize what like, I knew he was a complex guy, but like what a raw deal he got, you know, in terms of just being like, oh, could you be any more crazy? And he's over here being like, I am trying to help people with addiction. And, you know, if people love friends, I don't have a lot of people who love friends. And I get that it is people's comfort watch.

And I'm so happy for them. And I'm glad that it had this life or whatever. But, you know, but I do feel like he's somebody who is kind of begged to not be reduced to this thing that made him famous that he clearly struggled with at the time. You know, he spoke very eloquently at a Diane Sawyer interview being like watching a clip of friends and being like, I wish I could go back and help that person. Like I was so miserable. I was so alone, you know. And so to just have everybody be like, this is sad for all, for friends, it's like, yes, indeed.

And he was a man outside of friends as well. And he did other things. Absolutely. There's also a video of him dancing with Blades. I think this is just a natural way for celebrities to try and move on from their fame. Four different Britney Spears Blade video, Halloween costumes.

this year. Four of them. I was shocked. I only went to one party, still two Barbies. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Barbies are everywhere. I went to one party for two hours and still there were two Barbies. Two different Barbies, I mean, that's... Cowgirl Barbie and Julia Johns' friend of the show as Weird Barbee killed Weird Barbee. She killed Weird Barbee. She killed Weird Barbee. She did perfect. Yeah. Yeah. That was pretty psyched today. Yeah, I posted on my

Insta. Oh my God. Yeah, it was fun. We like partied or whatever. Well, we did. We like were the first people there And then as soon as people started showing up We had to leave for Woody's bedtime. But like... Oh my God, but when he was dressed up as a shark, you guys landed on shark. She was singing the song and everything.

Oh my God. And she loved the smoke machine. She loved the smoke machine. Yeah, I think she's... I love Kid Halloween, man. I think Kid Halloween is so... Adult Halloween is great. Adult Halloween parties are great.

But Kid Halloween, I dropped my kids off this morning at school and it's non-denominational character day at public school. Okay, so don't worry. but the characters Wow, what about just scabs? We're about to talk about Megan Fox, yes, but please continue, MJ.

No, I just love it. I just let you know, I love the, I'm sure you guys have seen the video of the little kid with the alien costume, the inflatable alien costume, it looks like the alien's grabbing him, and he does this great act out. He's like being dragged by the alien.

And it's just so great, it's like, oh, kids, I just love that because it's like, he's so unselfconscious, he's so committed to the bit. I'm like, kids are, natural actors, and they're just so extremely psyched. Freddy has a light up dress. She's never been more excited in her life.

You know, it's 12.40 p.m. on Halloween Day, and my day has not even yet begun. I'm about to have a whole life of trick-or-treating with these kids. Oh, my God. There's going to be peaks and valleys of emotions. I just, I love kid Halloween. It's great. Yes, Winnie and I are going out for the first time later today, while my wife is just incessantly shitting, preparing for colonoscopy.

Are you really going to talk? about this. We've been very open about it. Okay. I almost want to like film it and call it Lexi's colonoscopy journey and like make it like a TV. What are you TLC? Yeah, exactly. Old school TLC? Oh, just shitting your ass out. I think the colonoscopy havers should talk more about the shitting. Everybody like everybody has to do it. People need to know. Yeah, exactly. It's just like a normal. De-stigmatize the constant shit. It's the circle of life. Oh.

Oh, no. I can't stop. No. It won't stop coming out of me. It's just liquid. I'm sorry. We're talking about sweet kid stuff and I ruin it with that. Talking about nice other things.

How much candy do they eat? Do you let them go hogwild? Yeah, I try to be like, you know, we try to have a practice of like, listen to what feels good for you. But obviously they have no relationship with their body on Halloween. They're consumed with excitement. And so they are going to eat way too much candy and it's going to be fine. And then we save it.

We don't do the, you know, some people do the switch witch. I've heard about the switch witch. My children would revolt. But if that's what works for your family, you put, you make the kids, you don't make them. You make that. You allow them to be forced to. You allow them to put the candy that they just earned trick-or-treating into a bucket, leave it outside the door or whatever.

And then some fucking fairy comes and switches all the switch witch, I guess she's called, switches all the candy for a toy. My thing is I feel just as unhappy about all the toys in my house as I do about all the candy in my house So I don't want to switch it for a toy Yeah I also, that just means I'm gonna eat the candy And I don't need to eat the candy

I already like wouldn't want like I already can't have a whole bag of candy in my house It's also about you know then you learn rationing You know in case you get stranded on an like an island or a boat or so you know and you get to eat fucking candy for your You know I get what I do that afterwards is like you get a you get candy for After school snack always has something, you know, a yogurt and a fruit and then a candy or whatever. And so in our family, that is what we do. I try to not make a big deal about candy. And I try to be like, yes, Halloween is awesome because you get tons of candy.

That is why people love it. But different people have different approaches when it comes to sugar. And I support that. And you do what works best for you. But my children will be probably eating just so much candy and then getting very upset and crying. Hell yeah. That's what you do. You got to get a belly ache, man.

No, as you were talking about this, I had like an intense, like, memory that I haven't thought about in a very long time of just me. I remember I used to ration it because you said the word ration. I used to ration my candy so that it would last way longer than Henry's so that I remember it would be like March and I'd be like, mm. Ooh, Halloween candy tastes good. Just to spite him. Just despite him. It's so, like, it says so much about it. relationship and he'd be like, stop!

And she's like, me slowly eating the candy in front of him. Yeah. Yeah, I just remember, you know, yeah, they were the keepers of the candy, I think, until a certain age. And my parents would only dole out little bits. Oh, they doled it out. We were always given free range. I think that's why we were like, like, let it out, man. As much as you can put in. There are different schools of thought on this, and this is not a parent-dig podcast, so we don't have to get into it. But I think that the one, the school of thought that I subscribe to is that if you put a lot of restrictions

on candy and like really put it up on a pedestal, then the candy becomes, then they become a little bit obsessed with it. And of course, they're obsessed with it anyway because it tastes awesome. Like, I try not to do any of those things and my kids are still obsessed with candy. So it's like, they're going to be obsessed with candy. But I try not to be like, like, the other day, also we live above a bodega. So frequently we go down and get candy. And I just, for the first time the other day, I was just like, they got like a thing of, you know, a tube of M&Ms and like one of those huge things that roll up sour tape and each kid got one thing and I was like, don't eat all of it, but eat some. And they like totally self-regulated. Whoa. They're four and five and it's taken

years of me like being more active in regulating for them. But I was like, don't eat all of it. Maybe, usually I would be like save half or whatever, but I was like, eat some and then save the rest for later. And they did, you know. And so I feel like the idea is being like, this is not evil. Sugar is not evil. It's not bad. But like you should listen to, you might not feel good if you eat all of it, but like you got to learn to listen to that for yourself. I'm not the one who can tell you, you know. Man, that's a hard, that's a hard road to carve out though. I feel like you're just like battling through stone with a side.

Just like, I got, yes, they're going to eventually self-regulate. Well, here I got, I'll bring it back to celebrities because Beyonce and Jay-Z's $200 million, $40,000 square foot oceanfront mansion has a candy store in it. Why would you put a candy store in your house? Could you imagine? Wait, so do the kids have to buy the candy? I don't know if they'd like... Because that would be interesting.

Is there a worker who lives in the candy store? It's a lesson in commerce. Or is it like the airport where they just watch you and they see everything you take? You know, those airport ones where they don't have a worker, but they just like see what you take and charge you. Oh, yeah, and they charge your card as you walk out. Yeah, I hate that. But also, I don't want Beyonce and Jaycee to just have. like a candy store employee living in their house all the time either.

So I don't know what I want. No, it's a robot. It's a robot. That they hopefully treat very nice. I mean, how quickly does the candy store just evolve into chaos, though, is my question. Yeah, like, what if they all, like, I feel like I'd go in at some point and break into the candy store. Yeah, I mean, I get it. And then I'm a criminal of my own own home.

I live above a bodega. I basically also have a candy store in my home, and it is tough. It is tough to be like, no, we're not going to the candy store. We don't go to the candy store every day. Oh, my God. Do you get mozzarella sticks at, like, 3 o'clock in the morning? Tell me you do. I don't.

That part of my life, I'm asleep by 10 o'clock. Gideon's so mad at me that I was able to sleep last night after we watched paranormal activity. He's just like, you just go to sleep. You just go to sleep. I always go to sleep. I go to sleep at 9.45 on the couch and then I go to sleep again at like 10.45 in bed. That's double the sleep, right?

Is that how parents sleep math works? Speaking of Halloween, we weren't. Megan Fox, we have to talk about it. Megan Fox because we brought up the SAG After Halloween rules last week on the show. And what did Megan Fox do? Because, you know, a lot of people, you know, they pulled back a bit from what they originally said, essentially saying like, try not to. But if you already have your costume, you already got your costume. And Megan Fox already had her damn costume, I guess. And she and Machine Gun Kelly went his two characters from Kill Bill, Volume 1, and tagged SAG Aftera in the cast. That's the funny part to me.

Like, you've got to just done that. And it's skill built from years ago. It's not like you're doing Barbie. So people probably would have been like, oh, whatever. But that just tag sag is like, okay, guys, you don't need to be agro about this. Right, right. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, they are advocating for your, like, workers' rights.

Yeah. So, like, don't, you know, antagonize. But it's like, I mean, you do it, you do it. In the same way that, like, I, again, I defend my bride of Chuckie costume because Scab. I'm not a scab. It's not a current movie. That doesn't give money to Universal just being like, remember Jennifer Tilly's breasts.

Remember breasts. How did you feel about Kate Beaconsdale's Anna Nicole Smith and Jay Howard Marshall? What's more offensive? The Megafox tag thing or Cape Begginsdale and her friend going as Anna Nicole Smith and Jay Howard Marshall. It is demented.

And no one has said anything about it. Where is the outrage? on that. That should be getting so much more outrage than it's got nothing. I mean, whatever. I don't, why am I asking for something that I roll my eyes at at the end of the day? Because, you know, whatever. I'm just, I'm surprised that there's no outrage.

I'm surprised. I'm just surprised. Because like, you know, there was a great, you're wrong about about Anna Nicole Smith. I feel like Anna Nicole Smith has been a bit in the way that we are recognizing that the way our society talked about women like Britney Spears and Anna Nicole Smith for so long. I feel like it's just a little bit strange in 2003 to be like, look at this dumb bitch

in her half dead husband. You know, it's like so. It's just so aggressive with the very upsetting. I mean, it looks like Voldemort, the J. Aaron Marshall friend. Yeah. What is that weird mask? Everyone look up, just look up Cape Beck and Sale.

I'm sure if you looked up Kate Beck and Sale, Halloween, 2023, it'll pop up as Anna Nicole Smith. Yeah, it's just, right. It just feels like a little bit off for the time. You know what it does? It feels like a very old school mood. is what it feels like. Actually, it reminded me of the

Olivia Rodriguez story. It's like, it feels very early aughts kind of celebrity, like celebrity bullshit. Sorry, Dotsa just like pivot. This story I was totally yucked out about. Yes.

Like, Jimmy Kimmel called out, like, Olivia Rodriguez was on his show, right? And he zooms in on the cover of the album and even though so many of Olivia Rodriguez's songs are about how like she has all these insecurities about how she feels about herself and like it's very much like speaking that anthem of like an angry insecure young person which is part of the reason why I love her yeah um I feel like it's like young me sees this and it's just like fuck yes yeah and um he points out that she has

a tip on her truth because it's a very close up picture of her mouth. And she was like, oh, yeah, I never noticed that before. Yeah. And then he goes, you have a chip in your tooth. You're not perfect after all. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're talking to a

teenage... He's 20 years old. A 20 year old girl. Yeah, 19, 20? Again, her entire thing is, it's really hard to be a teenage girl. I am an insecure teenage girl. You're a grown man. I'm always being looked at, I'm always being

held to a specific standard. I think the attempted joke was, it's, it is such a tiny chip, it's like barely, it's not, it's like microscopic. I think he was attempting

to make the joke of like, this is such a non, like, you know, bad, like it's so tiny and he's pointing it out as to try to make, make a joke out of how she really is

like killing it these days. It has very, and I can see that, but like if I was, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. It doesn't work.

It's not all. It's just made, of millions of people and that was said to me, I would immediately just be like, oh my God. Especially because it's the back of your album. It's like your album art. Totally. Are those teeth? And like I know that Jimmy Kimmel has done a lot of like good and thoughtful stuff like in his career, but it's like that moment. When he cried about the lion? Remember when he cried about the lion being murdered?

He spoke about like universal health care after his kid was born with a heart condition and stuff. So like he's, I don't think he's even. No, he's not evil. But like, there is something about that moment that, that, like, triggered this primary, like, you were in the man show reaction for me because it felt to me, sorry if I'm going too far on this, but it felt to me, like, that was, he is a grown man talking to a 20-year-old woman, and it felt to me like him being like, see, I am a boy who is, feels person, it feels like the inner, the inner nice guy, you know, like, I'm a nice guy, and you're a beautiful girl.

And look, you have an imperfection. And maybe I'm way overreacting, but it just feels like, dude, you are a grown-ass man. Why are you talking to a 20-year-old woman about her appearance like this? Get him, MJ. The only way that it works is if you think, like, yeah, she needs to be taken down a peg, Jimmy Kimmel. You know what I mean? There's just something about that interaction where he feels. But she doesn't put off that vibe at all.

Yeah, that's why I feel like that's, if you said that's like Paris Hilton or something, it might make sense because it's like, oh, yeah, you're like the hot girl with status and I'm Jimmy Kimmel. like Oafy guy. But it's like... Right, but the fact that she is, is she even 20? I don't even know if she's 20. I don't know.

I think she's 19 or 20. That's the thing. 19. I think that he was relying on a kind of classic perceived power imbalance between a slubby guy and a beautiful woman,

but it doesn't work when she is that young and he's Jimmy Kimmel. And so much of her music is about being an insecure teenager. Like that's what so much of it is about. So it's like she doesn't sing about being perfect ever, you know?

Yeah. Except for the idea of like she'll never be perfect. That's what she's, you know what he means. So it's just very. Also part of me like feel, I don't know why. Like I feel like very like like maternal towards Olivia Rodriguez. I think it's because like a lot of us see the like very like heavily feeling young person that we used to be that lives in the inside. I mean, you just read that whole book also.

Yes. There's also that too. I'm just like, just don't, don't judge. Don't let like just leave her alone. I say rip his finger nails off. Can we not make fun of former child. Star's appearances on a micro level when you're a grown man. Yeah, you know, Jimmy Kimmel also does the thing with the hell, where you do a prank

where you tell your kids you took their Halloween candy and then filmed them crying. And I think I could just never forgive him for that because it's just so mean-spirited. You know, it's just like, what kind of person does that? A funny guy. But, you know, again, you do what's right for your family. If that kind of prank works in your family, I guess. I don't know. I don't like the prank in kids thing.

Well, what kind of person would have an affair with each? Idris Elba hit me with the share. Whoa. Do you believe it? Is Justin Trudeau's wife having an affair with Idris Elva? Do tell. This one comes in from Sam who writes, hey Holden, this conspiracy comes from my sister and thought it might be a good one for page seven.

Recently, our prime minister, Justin Trudeau and his wife, Sophie, have announced that they are separating. This comes after months of speculating that Sophie has been having an affair with none other than Idris Elba. They have been spotted at several of the same events, which is not that odd, but after one of these events, they were the only two of the party to test positive for COVID after the fact. Coincidence, I will let you decide. Thanks for reading Sam. So Justin Trudeau and his wife, Sophie, announced they were separating back in August of this year.

Many have been speculating about this affair. This is from the Yahoo article. The announcement has caused some Twitter and TikTok users to revive a 2020 theory that Greg Gwaguar, and Elba changed Gregor. And Elba had an affair after both attending I don't know, Sophie? You mean? This is a copy and paste.

Yahoo. Did you really fuck up Sophie's name and change it to Gregor? No, that's her middle, her must be her, you know, Trudeau is, it must be her maiden name. Maiden name. Maiden name.

Yeah, yeah. They speak a lot of Frenche on Canada. Right, Leigh-Gla. And Elba had an affair after both attending. charity event in London. And yes, we're just as confused by this theory as you are. Whatever. I'm not confused at all. I know it's fact. On March 16, 2020, government officials confirmed that Gregg Law was isolating after testing positive for COVID-19. That same day, Elba shared a

video on Twitter confirming that he and his wife had tested positive for the virus. He confirmed that he were like two of the first famous people to get it. Yeah, he confirmed that he got tested after learning. He had been a close contact with another positive case a week earlier, which was right around the time he was photographed smiling with a group of people at the We day charity event. The Luther Star told us Twitter followers I got tested because I had

realized I got exposed to someone who had also tested positive. I found out last Friday that they were tested positive. I quarantined myself and got to test immediately. He got results back today. He's becoming a beetle. Now I'm dancing with me. He's becoming a beetle.

Strong knife dancing. Uh-oh. And with that limited information, a theory was formulated that Elba and GlaGla contracted COVID-19 from sucking and fucking. Maskless. Oh, God. Yeah, it's hard to suck. By the way, Alba, Idris Elba has been married since 2019. What do you guys think?

You think they fucked the COVID into each other? I mean, I looked her up. I'd certainly watch the tape. Right. Yeah, I definitely watched the tape. If you're married to Justin Trudeau's dashing in his own right. He's very dashing. And I do like the idea of her leaving him for Idriselba.

I think that's fun. I remember when Idriselba tested positive. I think if that's the problem is that like I used to find Justin Trudeau dashing, but now like I don't anymore. So I'm just like, it was like, yeah, move on to Idriselba, but he is married. So, you know, that does provide. That's why I'm torn as well. I want this.

I want this to be. true for the sake. I don't even know if my desire for Justin Trudeau to get cucked is like based in something real or if I just want him to get cucked. I'm not even really sure how he is as a prime minister. But I want him to get cucked by Idris Elba, but I don't want Idris Elba's wife to get cucked by Guadol. But maybe they're consensually non-monogamous

and then we can be okay with him. Also Justin does have a pro cuck platform he's been riding on for quite a while. Yeah. He loves it. always talking about he was trying to sign more cucks in the legislation. It's one of his big Canada things he's trying to do. I mean, I guess I'm going to, I got to say that I guess we can believe them. I can believe. I honestly remember both of these people testing positive for COVID because it was March 2020. And it was that time was like when Tom Hanks tested positive and everybody, like, remembered

everybody who tested positive. It was like, even Idris Elba can get it. Wouldn't that be crazy? if it was like the cheaters disease. Like the only way you find, like, that's how you find out people. Like, the only way to get it is from like having an affair with someone. I think that that's what just getting like an STI from another person would be,

if you don't have to quarantine or whatever with an STI. You know what I mean? You have to announce it to everybody with COVID. I mean, you got a quarantine dead dude. Yeah. Oh. You got you better. Ramp it up.

Quarantine dad. Wrap that fucker up if you're going to be slamming away at some other gal, all right? Well, I mean, remember when New York said no ass eating, you know? Yeah, I do remember that. That was also in March of 2020, wasn't it? Yeah. Or was that April of 2020?

No, it was still March. It was still March because we needed a laugh at that time. Don't touch your face. We got it. Don't eat ass. I remember that was what of the rules on the subway when you take it. It's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list.

Jay, got to have that list. 13 movie effects that were made of sometimes spoiled food. Most people think fruit cake is crap, and absolutely all Game of Thrones fans do. No, we don't. The master shite that Samuel Tarley is tasked with cleaning out of the Citadel's chamber pots was made from wet fruit cake shaped to look like turds.

Over a full day shooting, they got as gross as you would imagine. Okay, it's fine. You don't have to like fruit cake. but it's not like made of shit. It's like, that's fine. It's not like after a day fruit cake turns to fucking fecese, you know, relax. I know.

This is just Jackie tried to shoehorn more food content into this. We're still in Halloween. I am in Thanksgiving. My brain's in Thanksgiving, bro. And it's funny because you hate shit jokes, but you love food. You know, I do love food.

And I think I'm already thinking about My problem is I got to make a spooky lasagna later. Henry has tasked me with a spooky lasagna. I don't know how to make said spooky lasagna, but he said make a lasagna, make it spooky. So I think that's also where my brain is. I know how to do it. After this, I have to make a spooky lasagna. Tell me.

I kind of have an idea too. Okay. Go on. Well, I was going to do eyeballs, but you tell me. Well, yeah, I would like make a face in the cut faces out of the, like, jack-o-lantern-style faces out of the lasagna noodles, put them on top so that it's like a jack-a-lantern. Ooh, that's a really good idea. And then I can put the eyeballs in the center of their little, like,

like triangle eyeballs. I was going to say play with the tomato sauce. I was going to say take a blade, slice a big slice across it, and have tomato sauce looking like it's coming out of it, like it's a gash. And then leave the knife in. And you can leave the knife in. And dance with it later. Yeah, and put some eyeballs on it.

I love both of these ideas, guys. Thank you. Why did I bring this up earlier? Also, another one, speaking of the juries. Jacqueline interface, if you want to go a different direction with that, you could probably do a book of the dead face like from Evil Dead, like a Necromonomicon. Oh, I feel like that's going to take

me some time. Yeah, yeah. Who am I making this for? Right. Exactly. Yes. Yes. So you're making... I'm making... Well, he's making a slime version and I'm doing blood. That's why he tasked me with. He's like, I'm making slime, you're making blood. And I was like, okay.

There you go. Um, anyway, you've probably sat in some gross food at some point, but for hours at a time, and on purpose? Actors playing corpses in Day of the Dead would be attached to bodies stuffed with entrails from a local meat plant, shooting for hours with their noses just inches away. Over the course of shooting, those piles went from disgusting to literally rancid. The true horror of the movie was smell. Yeah, that's gross.

Wet fruitcake, whatever, you know, it's not going to start smelling like rotting meat. rotting meat. Rotting meat is disgusting. That's disgusting. Yeah. Horrifying. Ooh, yucko. I hope that those got, that actors got paid as much as the guy from Candyman for all the bees.

Oh, $1,000 per sting. Yep. The merry old land of Oz had grape flavored horses. Due to animal rights concerns, the wizard of Oz folks had to find a new solution besides just dying the horses purple. They thought of grape jello. While the effect worked, it did create one problem. The horses discovered their newfound deliciousness and kept licking themselves and each other clean.

How that is better for the horses. I don't think that's better for the horses. And you know, I hate to bring it here, but jello is made of horses. See, they're eating the horse. They're catalyzing themselves. They're eating themselves. They're eating themselves.

No. Wow, they were eating themselves. That's bad. That's worse. That's horrible. What are Android innards made of? Barely the same ingredients as a romantic dinner. When Ash is revealed to be a robot after getting his head lopped off an alien,

the effect crew concocted a disgusting mixture of milk, caviar, and pasta to represent android guts enough to gross out even the most dedicated Olive Garden. Fanatic. I also just watched Alien. And just... And did you love Antoine? I did love alien. It's amazing.

Aliens incredible. We did alien and aliens. Yeah, yeah. Deeply enjoy both of them. Yeah, they're great. Rich people? Eating people? Great show premise.

But what do you do with your lead actress is a vegetarian? And a scab. And a scab. Meat-based props like sushi or ground meat weren't going to work for Drew Barrymore's Santa Clarita diet flesh eating scenes. So the props team created some life-like, vegetarian gummy meat for her to eat instead. And by lifelike, we mean that the texture was like raw chicken.

What? That's fine. I mean, why couldn't they do that for the fucking Night of the Living Dead people? I mean, you have the technology to have fake meat that's not made of real meat and you make them sit amongst the raw meat. I feel like back then they didn't have the same kind of. I don't think they had it back. I had a living dead.

I mean, or Day of the Dead. Day of the Dead. Yeah, that was a long time. Yeah. Especially. I also watched Night of Living Dead this month. That still would make me deeply upset to me if I was a vegetarian and, and I had to eat like something that was identical to, you know,

what humid flesh might look and taste like. Or what it might sound like. Turns out frigid hair sounds a lot like crisp, frozen lettuce. At least that's what the sound effects people for Titanic decided. When Rose turns her head toward her rescuers in the frigid North Atlantic, the crackling sound her icy hair makes was created by crunching frozen lettuce leaves. You guys want to learn a fun fact? Yeah.

Leonardo DiCaprio's current girlfriend was not born yet when Titanic came out. Yeah, man. That is going to happen because it was 97. So if we and she only dates people 25 and under. She's 25, you know. She was not alive with the movie Titanic came out. Whoa. I mean, Leo, don't you want to date people who were at least in sixth grade or older when Titanic came out so they could feel the lust free?

It's going to be so much more satisfying for them to be. be with you. You will get so much more reward from being with a slightly older person. And they have so much more experience. You mean being with the droopers, which is what he calls them, by the way. Not me. He literally calls them droopers. Women of that age.

Yeah. Well, maybe they wouldn't have their full hand down his underpants in public. I said MJ and Jackie that picture for Louis Pardy. I mean, she is getting in that. If you look up Leonardo DiCaprio Halloween, 23, I'm sure the picture will come up. She's getting in that ass. She's under his boxers. Yeah, she's under the boxers.

I feel like she's at least toying with hole, if not fully inserted into the beehole. I'm not anti-ass-grabbing, but I am anti-ass-crack exploration amongst other people. You got to wash your hands out. He's got like bro-braw boxers situation where the boxers are like way up above, hiked up above his pants. Well, they must be at, they're on a Halloween part. Yeah, yeah.

So he's dressed as something. I think he's dressed as Bhole finger victim number four, dude. She is fucking getting up in it, dude. I just hope they don't get pink eye. Gotta wash those hands. Gotta wash those hands, for sure. Last but not least, the sewer escape and the Shawshank Redemption didn't smell foul. It smelled delicious.

Since even a committed actor like Tim Robbins won't crawl through actual shit, the sludge was created from chocolate syrup and sawdust. Not what most of us would want on a Sunday, but it probably still beats Prince. prison food. That's nice. Good fact. There you go, because that always does make me upset when he crawls through that. No shit.

No shit. That's right. All right. Is that the list? That's the list for you guys. Good. I had to ask because I can't see it anymore. Oh, my God. Why? Items. Oh, we can't see them. Are you ready for a tale of terrors? This one is filed under unknown

hookups. This former A-list actor who is an Oscar winner slash, I always cut out nominee. I'm like, yeah, obviously they were a nominee. They won. This one is filed under unknown hookups. I think that means that they've also been nominated times and not won. Why do we need to know that if they

won? Anyways, all right, AGC blind items. This former AIS actor is an Oscar winner. Jackie patiently explaining that to him, though. I know why they do it, but it's redundant. It's just So you know they're extra good. And this juvenile delinquent turned singer turned A-list actor. They hooked up.

Let's get some more details. The one guy he's like, he was a famous, he was a doctor on a show. And then he had a- George Clooney. Yes. And then the other one, he was, I'd say almost more of a rapper than a singer. Juvenile delinquent turned rapper turned A-list actor. He has an annoying schedule.

His daily schedule makes me mad. Wait a second. Does Mark Wahlberg count as a rapper? Well, I think he's more of a rapper than a singer. Am I crazy? Wasn't he kind of more doing that when he was in? Well, yeah, it's tough. Junkie boys? What was his new kids on the block? No. Junkie boys. Junkie boys. He was rapping, I think, a lot.

He was like, jump, get down, get up, jump a rat, you know what I mean? You might, I'm sure you, honestly, you probably know a lot more about this than I do. I think just age-wise to know more about this. I mean, it just seemed like he was trying to be urban. Marky, Mark and the funky bunch. Marky Mark and the funky bunch, bro. Anyways, Mark Wahlberg and George Clooney, do you think that they saw each other's cocks

and suckled upon them in the night rain? I just feel like they would, like, grapple each other hard, but never come. You know what I mean? I feel like this is more of, like, a grappling kind of, like how Britney Spears described her relationship with Colin Farrell as a brawl. I feel like it would be something like that.

Dirty and messy. A very brokeback mountaine kind of. Whoa, don't put that in my brain. Awuga. Well, I'm going to keep put in your brain because here's some more man, love. Okay. This male A-List foreign language singer

spent a few hours last weekend with this foreign-born A-List actor It is not the first time they have hooked up. The first one is a evil animal, let's just say. And the second one, he wears... Bad Bunny again? Yes. And the other one wears a mask a lot in his show.

He's... Orville Peck. No, different. No. Actor. He wears a mask a lot of... I just got too excited about Bad Bunny and Orville Peck having sex. Two big shows he's in.

One, he wears a mask a lot. And the other one, he helps a... girl. That's the only hint I'll give you. He wears a mask a lot. And Jackie wants to have sex with him. A girl. Zorro? Is that a popular show? Oh, Antonio Banderas.

That's not a popular current television show? The masked singer? No, he wears, no, no, it's nerdy. Pedro Pascal. Yes. Mandalorian and last month. Whoa. And bad bunny. Right? That's fun. Wow. Yeah, that's a loosey

juicy. Yeah. You'd squeeze. that plum a time or two. I would certainly watch the tape. I was trying. The reason I got quiet before when you were talking about Mark Wahlberg and George Clude was because I was trying to decide if I would watch the tape and then I had to

go through this, my own little private warm time of wait, isn't Mark Wahlberg a badman? And then I was looking at his Wikipedia. We don't love him. We don't love him. It's whatever. I just hate his schedule. His schedule is like,

it's one of those annoying schedules where he's like, I wake up at four in the morning, I work out four times before noon, I have a meeting, then I have a schedule 30 minutes with my kids. Yes. You know what I mean? My problem is I love him problematically from the movie Fear. So like there's always, like I love fear Mark Wahlberg, which I shouldn't.

Yeah. But I do like that's like that forever lives in my brain. The problem is he was a real badman when he was very young. And I think he has tried to be less bad since then. But he has some. I just remember one of the anecdotes he said in an interview. He got like. his first big payday it was like a

hundredth-thous, it was like a crazy check probably not a hundred thousand, like twenty thousand or something and he just spent it all on a car Yeah. Isn't that insane? I mean, but if you really need a car in like, if you're like living in LA You know of a car? He spent it all on like a really nice Oh like a crazy fancy car.

He got like a lot of money on his first paycheck He spent and he had nothing and he spent it all on a car Yeah, that's insane to me. I don't know Just shit like that makes me nuts but I You're not like a car guy. Walberg, if you really want to go down a fucking spiral, go to Mark Wahlberg's Wikipedia page and read the legal issues section because it's rough.

It's rough. Don't do it. You know, content. So anyway, I'm not watching the tape. All right, so we're not watching the tape. Not watching that tape. I am watching the Bad Bunny. Pedro Pascal Bat.

Yeah, yeah. We'll watch that one for sure. Watch that tape. Well, this one's filed under Nauty, naughty. Oh, no, I've done a bad thing. This former A-list actress, Offspring, is an Oscar winner. She has long had a reputation of Hollywood for someone you do not want in your restaurant because of her demands on the way she eats.

Back in the day, there was another reason, too. She would ask the waiter if you wanted a tip or to be orally serviced in the bathroom. Whoa. I was going to say Goop, but now I think I retract Goop. Nah, she's a bad. She's a freak, yeah. Oh. And you know you want to be bad.

Lily Rose Depp isn't an Oscar winner. Is she? No, no, it's not Lily Rose Debt. Oh, it's not Lily Rose Depp. I thought this is, I thought you were giving us idle vibes, bro. Because she just is giving off those vibes, bro. All right. She's a freak.

All right, don't bro me, bro. I'm growing at you. Okay, so she was more, it said, like, former A-list just because she was, she hit her peak, like, in the 2000s. She was in a lot. Kate Hudson. Yeah, wow. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Oh. You're welcome. She sucked the way his cock. Wow. How did you know that, MJ?

Yeah, how did you get that? I don't know. It just came to me. Maybe it's the demon in my house that my husband is afraid of. No, you have to tell Gideon. Oh, no, you have to tell Gideon that there's a helpful demon. There's a trivia demon. A demon that only answers trivia questions.

Actually, you guys should really sign up for some kind of like bar trivia night. Yeah, but you can't go to the bar, so you've got to FaceTime into the bar. Yeah, you got to FaceTime into the bar. But unless it's like, if it's like the one in paranormal activity, it will follow me to the bar. And it will follow you. Oh, yeah, yeah. Especially, yeah, it's attached to you.

It's an entity. It's an entity. It's a entity. Yeah, go tell Gideon. It's a trivia demon. I bet you can't even joke around about that. Yeah, no, he's, I mean, he's joking. He keeps rattling things and, like, scratching the door when I'm in a place with

a closed door. I love that it got to him, though, like similarly as me. Like, it, it wasn't as bad as hereditority. Heroditary fucked to me for, like, a weirdtory fucked to me for like a week. Whereas period of activity was like a night or two. Especially with the redatory. I was glad because I saw it in the middle of the day and I was so happy that it was light outside

when I got out. I bet. Oh yeah. Because that was the thing. It's always the worst with horror movies because it's like, all right, now it's time to go to sleep. I usually watch them at night, which is idiotic. Well, you gotta have a palate cleanser. You gotta have a pallet cleanser. Yes. Yeah, well, I always save Treehouse of Horror for Halloween night. Treehouse of Horror is the show that you are meant to watch

while you sort your Halloween candy. Yes, indeed. Well, there you have it. And now I can see my Halloween candy again because you guys solved the blinds for the week. Welcome back. I can't believe Kate Hudson is servicing. Sucking the waiters. Cock in the restaurant. Also, how does she eat that's so bad?

That was the other part that it was like, what do you mean by the way that she is a restaurant? It's like, what does she, how does she eat? Maybe she has a lot of dietary restrictions. Because of her demands and the way she eats. The demands I get, that's like a classic celebrity annoying thing. but the way that she eats. Yeah, what does she eat with like, does she eat like a bird by just like only using her face

and going down to the plate? Or only with her hands, but she always gets like mashed potatoes and stuff like that. Hudson practices intermittent fasting going about 14 to 16 hours without eating and refers to eat five small meals within her eight to 10 hour window. So a big breakfast is a must have for her. That probably means she's not eating between, say,

7 p.m. to 9 to 11 the next day. I love how intermittent fasting is just becoming. this acceptable term for having an eating disorder. But that's fine. You know, it works for some people. And I say, whatever works for you. Whatever works, you jerks. Get that calorie deficit if that is what you wish.

Calorie deficit, you're just harming yourself. I'm going to eat more candy. And my name is Jackie Zabrowski. Thank you guys so much for joining us for this Halloween episode of page seven. But now you are fully in Thanksgiving world. How does it feel? I was so excited to be there. Yes.

I gotta start planning. I feel like at the beginning of this episode it was Halloween and now it's Thanksgiving. It's really like hold and said. It's like the way that Mariah Carey's going to come out. Probably tonight and she's going to do her. Remember that last year? She went,

Not yet. Oh, she's been posting all week. And Jay has she? Oh, she's been posting all week doing the hashtag not yet. Oh yeah. No, it's very like creepy, but I kind of like it. So it's going to be tonight probably, right? Halloween night.

She comes out of her. Haunted house. She comes out of, declination of Christmas season being defrosting. I'm not taking Winnie Trigger Treating. We're going to the grocery store

and picking out different items for Thanksgiving instead. Yes, it's Thanksgiving season. Welcome everyone! My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me and Jack That Worm. And you should come, again, prepare yourselves for Thanksgiving morning

where you're going to come and watch the Thanksgiving Day parade with Holden and I over on Twitch, TV forward slash Holdenators Ho. There you go. 6 a.m. hour time, guys. 6 a.m.

It's going to be amazing. Oh, it's at 6? Oh, that's not as bad. I thought it was in 5. No, it's at 6. Okay. What do you mean? I was like, oh, I'm going to get him a 4 in the morning this year.

Five's cushy. Yeah. I can make five work. Remember how much you used to complain? Oh, I thought about this. We now record these, we record Pace 7s for the past, like, most of the time at at 8.30 in the morning, right? we get up, or get up at eight.

I mean, if I hadn't had the kid by the time this was going on, you guys would never hear the fucking end of it. I know. I know. I know. Every week, I'd be like, why are we up this early? Yeah. But anyways, all right, thank you so much

everybody for joining. We're doing the plugs, right? Page 7th podcast at gmail.com. Please send in your celebrity conspiracy theories. Always appreciate them. Also, if you want to support us further, please go to patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Hearing more and more from people who are saying this is such like one of the best

patrons out there just in terms of the sheer amount of content you get every week from it. For $5 a month, you've got the book readings from Jackie, you've got the leftovers as well that we do, and also add free episodes on the main feed and more. And at $10, you can join us on Discord every single Thursday for our jersey. Shore watch along, which is still alive and kicking. Also, Twitch.tv. forward slash Holtenatres Ho. Again, that's Twitch.tv.

forward slash Holtenators Ho. Check us out every Friday. We do Jack up with the Holdies. 6 p.m. ET, always a blast. MJ? My name is MJ and I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram. There you go. And hey, always, oh, yeah, that's different.

Oh, yeah, it's the time of the song. Yeah, you're ready for it? Yeah. Listen to the song. Shout, shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote and about. Come on, we're gonna read them to you. Come on.

It's a spooky shoutouts edition, even though there's actually nothing spooky about it, but because this comes out fully in Thanksgiving season. But still, there's something spooky. There's something beautiful and spooky about our shoutouts today and you can send in your own spooky shoutouts who are just regular shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com again that is page 7 podcast at gmail.com send us whatever you'd like i'm really uh can i just say i don't know i didn't even put out the call for being sent

pictures of your kids and your dogs and costumes but i just want to say mw-h thank you so much for them because they have gotten me through the week now our first This shout out goes out to Sylvia. And this shoutout goes out to Holden, MJ, and I. I forwarded this to Holden and MJ so they definitely got to read it too, but I'm going to share them all. To Holden. Listen, I love your love for Taylor Swift. The hate is going to hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, and all I have to say is fuck them.

I'm an academic music librarian, and every day I have a conversation with some 19-year-old about why they can write a paper about Black Pink. They're literally impacting global trade markets or do a theoretical analysis of Dolly Parton songs. She is a genius. Nothing is a guilty pleasure. Everything has value. And you help prove that every time you gush about your love for T. Swift or Olivia Rodrigo, I'm sure you're deep in the worm time that is super graphic ultra-modern girl.

But if you're looking to add additional bops, I've been alternating between that and Ashniko's weed killer. Hit me up with your music terminology questions. I can help out whenever you have a copyright or indentation. Interpolation versus sample question. Thank you, Sylvia. Sylvia goes on to say to MJ, you've ruined me.

Because of you, I've purchased a pair of crocs. I don't think I could ever do the classic boot that Wisconsinite in me immediately sees the Green Bay Packers cheese head, but I was very, very, very tempted to get the Margaritaville crocs when they were released. It was the parent that did it for me, but I'm glad that I passed after hearing

about the challenges with the salt shaker and shot glass. Moving on to a more serious topic, I really admire you. I have friends who have come out as trans over the past few years and the experiences you share in page seven, especially the page seven rewinds, have genuinely impacted their lives as well as mine. Your visibility and willingness to talk about your life are so valuable to those who are experiencing insecurities with their identities and those who wish to support them. May the force be with you and may you find the time for all of the all-inclusive water park vacations you desire. And on to me! Silvia says I'm a long time. fan. I've had your voice in my ear since the good old days of sex and other human activities with Marcus, but I've never loved, dare I say, resonated with anything more than your book club. I've tried to listen to hundreds of audiobooks, seriously, hundreds of them, and I've never been able to get into a single one. It might be a librarian cliche, but I spend the majority of my free time reading pure trash on my trusty Kendall. When I worked at a public

library, I literally advocated for increasing our budget for audiobooks, but I secretly DNFed every single one I've tried to listen to until your book club. Jackie's book club finally revealed what the issues were with all other audiobooks. I need the sidebars. I need the worm times. And I absolutely need the... doro, doroo, doroo, doroo, signaling the start of a new chapter. Please never stop recording them.

I love you, Sylvia. Thank you so much for your love and thank you for your shout-out. We've got a shout-out going out to Emily. Emily says, you guys are my absolute favorite podcast, providing me joy for so long now. I've been listening for about four years, and for way longer than that, I've been an alcoholic, inactive addiction. Not anymore.

I want to shout out myself for going to rehab and beginning to try to tame the beast that is addiction. Congratulations, Emily. I am 43 days sober and home now, and I need other listeners to know. They say it all the time, but getting sober has done more for my mental health than anything ever has, and I'm only 43 days in. I struggle with bipolar one disorder and I've been hospitalized a few times in the past couple of years. I have never really felt hope. I do now.

And I feel happiness more and more every day. I got my old favorite ever job back and I wake up every morning not shitting like crazy, which if you know, you know. Oh, I know, Emily. If anyone out there is wondering what it is like to be sober, it is so good. If anyone has been waiting for a sign, this could be it. Life can be so much better. The bottom is where you stop digging. I look forward to re-listening to as much page 7 as I can and remembering so much more of it,

I completely understand, Emily. Thank you, Jackie Holden and MJ for being there for me these past couple of years and making me laugh when it felt impossible. I look forward to so much more. Thank you. And thank you, Emily. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful message of positivity. And you're so right, man.

The bottom is where you stop digging. Hell yeah. Congratulations. and I'm so happy with your newfound hope. Moving on to, oh, we've got a best friend shout out. This comes in from Michelle C. Michelle C says, my best friend Danielle G. has been listening to you guys for forever.

She absolutely adores all of you. It's her birthday on October 27th. Happy birthday, happy birthday, Danielle. I was about to say, happy birthday, Michelle, who am I? Happy birthday, Danielle! And it would mean the world to her if she got a shout out from her favorite podcast. She would be so surprised.

She is the kindest person, and I want her to know that she is loved and that she is a boss. I'm not sure if this will reach you guys, but I'm praying that it does. You've got me, Michelle, and I've got you, baby. Happy birthday, Danielle. And, oh, we've got a self-shout. This goes out to Kelly. Kelly says, I'm writing in a self-shout because Thursday, November 2nd, which is the day this comes out? I hope you listen to this on your birthday.

Happy birthday. is my birthday. And nothing would make this Scorpio happier than a shout out from page seven. Everyone who says their 30s are the best years of their life aren't lying. I spent my 20s making one mistake after another. At 27, I got a divorce, moved in with my parents, and quit my boring office job. My friends and family must have thought I was crazy. But today, I'm 32.

married to the absolute love of my life, a homeowner, and loving my job as a welder. I can't wait to see what the next year brings. And thank you to Jackie Holden and MJ for making this podcast that is now the highlight of my week. So much love goes out to you, Kelly. Hell, yes. You can turn your life around. It's so fucking difficult to do sometimes. And I'm very proud of you for doing it. And last, but certainly not least, we have the amazing.

impenetrable Apes McNeil. Apes McNeil here. You know what? This isn't even a shout-up, but I needed to read it because I appreciate you so much. And I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Apes McNeil says, Apes McNeil here to ruin your day with the news that the Vanga Bus turns 25 on November 9th this year. We've been plagued with this song for a quarter of a century now. My two and seven-year-old have recently discovered it.

And now I have to listen to it every day. Every time I hear it, I think of MJ. I don't really clearly remember why, but I think in a past episode they had some story about the Vanga Boys and that song in particular and how it haunts them. Anyways, the Vanga Bus Renaissance is in my home, and it's going to single-handedly put it on the charts again. And I'd feel remiss if I didn't tell you guys

that the song is now 25 years old. Have a great day. Sorry if it's stuck in your head. It certainly is, and I'm very happy that I've already recorded the episode or else I certainly 100% would have started the episode with this. Thank you so much, Apes McNeil, and thank you to everybody that sent in their shoutouts. You can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. It always puts a smile on our face.

And also, to all you guys, in case you haven't heard it yet, Happy Thanksgiving season! This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just, Listen to, go to Last Podcast Network.com.