Page 7 - Ep. 516: Sad Boy Christmas

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

On this weeks Page 7 Jackie is havin' SEXY CHRISTMAS in swishy ski suits and fake fur, Holden's having a true blue teenage sad boi Christmas and MJ is bringin' the Family Values! Whamageddon is explained, SantaCon NYC rips through the streets and leaves sorrow and pain in its path DESPITE MJ's claims, Mariah Carey celebrates her love of Jackie Zebrowski and (I guess) 1 BILLION streams of her song All I Want For Christmas Is You on Spotify by wearing a DIAMOND ENCRUSTED Prada bucket hat, Holden's simple request is overridden by Jackie, MJ had to explain 80's humor to the babies and Freddy improved Rockin' 'Round the Christmas Tree, Holden's still hold(en)ing strong that he didn't shit in the shower, and in Celeb Conspiracy Corner: Is Lorde Actually A Bird?!?, a seasonally appropriate list, shouts AND DON'T FORGET join Page 7 for the yearly watchalong (And specialty cocktail reveal!) of The Muppet Christmas Carol over on Holden's Twitch on Monday, December 18th at 5pm PST/8pm EST and MOOOORE!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

All right, you can't be mad at me because rule number three of Whamageddon is only the original version applies. Enjoy the fuck out of remixes and covers. Because, Last Christmas, I'll give you my heart. But the very next day, you gave it away this year to save me from tears. Why are you doing it in a sexy baby voice? Yeah. That's for Santa baby.

Santa Baby is the sexy baby Christmas Carol. I think it's also because I mean we're going to be talking about Whamageddon, but also I've decided I'm having sexy Christmas this year. Okay. Welcome to page seven, you know. Jackie Zabrowski, quintessentially against the idea of sexy Christmas. But take the family out of Christmas. What do you add in?

Dash is sexy for Christmas. So you are like the Julia Louis Dreyfuss couple next door in National Ample's Christmas. This vacation. Forever. Yes. I want to, like that, we,

I think that Natalie and I make those jokes every year that we, that like Henry, Natalie, me and Jeff are a combination of Margo and Todd, which are the next door neighbors from National Amphoons. Why is the carpet? All went, Margo.

I don't know. Todd. And Margo and Todd, just great. I love, I want to get like matching like, shh, shh,

kind of track suits that we can wear. Um, I'm really going full hog in sexy Christmas this year. How do you guys feel about this? I feel good. I think that's the right thing for you since you're staying home and everything. I mean, you can really embrace that life. You know what I mean?

The like full on. I mean, you guys might get some fentanyl strips. If you're going to go for the ultimate obnoxious 80s couple, there's probably got to be some cocaine involved. I just think. We don't do that. I know. But if you're going to go full obnoxious, matching ski,

suits. Yeah, that's, how much satin do you have? I think you're going to have to do like at least a bump of Adderall or something at some point. I could scound jump. I can scound jump in Addy. I think that, and I do have a silk jacket, MJ. Jeff and I have matching silk black silk jackets. I do feel like, you know, to have a sexy Christmas, it's you just got to have a lot of deep reds.

You got to have a lot of satin and you got to have a lot of like fur cuffs, you know. Yeah, yeah, you're right. I have been buying a lot of fur lined. things, not real fur, just fake fur. I'm gonna pour. It would be real if I started wearing real minks everywhere. I'm gonna pour red paint on you. I've been killing animals in using it for to create things.

I wear that skin. No, I throw the rest of the animal away, but I wear it skin. I like to try to waste as much of the animal as possible, so I only use the skin. In fact, I feel bummed out that any part of the dead animal has given me a use. Honestly, whenever, I mean, you know that I bring this up as the hot dog ambassador, whenever but like, it's butts and assholes. Good. I'd rather eat the butts.

Yeah. I want to eat the assholes. I want to eat the eyelids because I want every part of it to be used. And if that's what's processed in my hot dog, good. Yeah, I'd be like, sir, madam, you're just telling me right now that you don't enjoy licked asshole, which just shows your ass. You're the close-minded one. Yeah. You're the close-minded one for sure.

Open up your world a little bit. I know my Christmas, I'm definitely going full regression Christmas, full teenage regression and Christmas. So I went ahead and picked up a three-disc CD changer. Wow. That does have a radio as well. And a tape player so I can tape stuff off the radio that gets played that I like. You know, I've got my, you know, smashing pumpkins. Honestly, though, a gift idea for Lexi. I feel like if you made Lexi a mixed CD or a mixtape, she'd melt into the floor. That'd be cool. Like an actual physical one.

Yeah, an actual one. I think that that's a really genuinely good gift. just go to a thrift store and get like a little like CD cassette player. Also listening to CDs is great. My brother's best friend for his wedding brought his somehow over the however many years it's been, this best friend had ended up with my brother's two like CD books from high school that he always had in the car with him that had all of his CDs. And so the friend gave them to John as his like as a wedding present. And so at our last tour, we had a wedding to go to.

John rode tripped out and then we rode tripped home and we listened to like all of our old favorite CDs in CD form in his car because his car is old enough to still have a CD player. Yes. And I was like, man, this is great. Like Spotify's great, whatever. But like I miss knowing a whole album front to back. I'm an album guy. I've always said this.

I'm a big album guy. That's what that's what I thrive on. So I love a full package. So yeah, we're getting all the hits. Melancholy, Infinite Sadness. We're going to get Nirvana. Sad boy Christmas. Sad boy Christmas.

Bringing back Sad Boy Christmas. I think that's great. But with some anger and some angst. We got rage against the machine in there. And you know what? I'm going to throw this in there too because we're going full teenage regression. A little bit of Dave in there. A little bit of Dave Matthews because deep down I'm a romantic.

Oh, no. I cannot. Yeah, that's a choice. Absolutely. Because deep down I'm a romantic. So I have to have a little bit of Dave in there. That's a choice. We're talking full regression.

I'm trying to not yuck your yum over here, Holden. But you're making it real difficult for me. I think we have the polar. opposites of what type of Christmas you can have here. Jackie's going to have sexy. Sexy Christmas. Holden's going to have angsty teenage Christmas. What are you going to have MJ? I'm having like, I don't know, family values Christmas. I'm over here. My kids are four and five. They're finally old enough to like watch and enjoy some of the movies that I always like to watch

and enjoy. So like we watched Elf this week. I just showed them. We watched Elf last Christmas, but this year they were like old enough to really like love that and it was really fun i'm going to try to add a little bit of your vibe to my christmas but in the form of the family values tour from 1998 that's right i will be listening to corn limp biscuit ice cube incubus orgy that was an amazing show i incredible that you saw oh yeah i went to the family values tour oh yeah i went to the family value store i remember i had i bought a shirt and it had this big discreet disgusting baby on the front of it, like covered all in food. And it was just like this really creepy drawing. And I loved that shirt because I was like, yeah, I went to the Family Values store. Yeah. I've got to look up this shirt right now. God, you gotta love the internet.

We've got to be able to find it. Do I need it back in my life? I mean, there's definitely a lot of T-shirts that are very upsetting for the Family Values Tour from 1998. It's definitely very present. Man, what a great show this one of a bit. I wish I'd got to see it. I did get to go to Rage Wu-Tang.

But that's neither here nor there because we're talking about M.J.'s family values. What kind of values will your family be valuing this holiday season? Well, you know, the famous clash of values in my hope is that one of the parents loves Christmas and the other is a bit of a scrooge. And so...

I wonder which one's which. So I'm like, although we did, it was so fucking cute. We finished elf and then, you know, at the bottom, also I've taught my children to call it Max. Max. I'm like, okay, we go to this. And they were like, why are you saying it that way?

I was like, this is just what we call it. Max. And so we were on Mox. And after we finished Elf at the bottom, it was like, you may like. And it was a list of all the, you know, many other Christmas movies that are on Max. And it was like Fred Claus.

And I was like, no. And then it was like the Christmas story. And they were like, what's that one? Can we watch another Christmas movie? And so we started the, Christmas story. And once again, it's just like showing children of this generation, Charlie Brown, watching the Christmas story with them is so fun because they're just like, why is the dad yelling at them all the time? You know, like, why are they afraid of their parents? And I'm like,

things were different back in the day. Children beat each other up in the street. So what do you think? Do you think it was better back when we were afraid of our parents? Because I feel like in some ways, you know, we stayed out of their hair. They stayed out of our hair, you know. So that was, that was kind of nice. I mean, I do think that parents, I think that parents are too involved now. I do think that that's, and sometimes I look at my own family dynamic and I'm like, I need to give less to my children. Whoa. I love this. That's what you're giving for Christmas. You're giving them less. What if I gave less? What if I was like a more detached cigarette by the window? We're talking here. We finally found the family values you were talking about here. Let's go back.

What if I was just a martini housewife, like not supervising my children? They're going to wake up. I also know it's better this way, obviously. It's better not to have your kids be terrified of you. I am working on that, you know, realizing that I don't want my discipline style to be fear me. But also having a little healthy fear of what will happen if you do things. Well, because they don't fear you at all. They don't fear me at all.

And I'm trying to build up, you know, I'm like, I don't want you to fear me. But also, can we step up the fear of you? just a slate. It's a tough balance. This is the new thing. They wake up, you get them dressed, you get them fed, and you open the door, and you shove them out, and you say, bye. Shove them out.

Figure it out. And I'll see you with the street lights come on. That's when you come home. If you need some food, I guess come by, I might be here. I might be somewhere else. But you just figure that out. Well, this is the thing. I do kind of romanticize that whole, like, the whole lack of supervision that previous

generations grew up with, because obviously, everything now with kids is like kind of hyperstructured. And I do try to, I'm like, we're like an intentionally unbusy family right now. Like we're not trying to rush from activity to activity. I try to just be like, you either go to the playground after school or you come home and play with your toys and it doesn't involve, need to involve me, whatever. But also, when you talk to people who grew up in the time of the Christmas story, they will tell you her, like people who were kids in the 50s and had no supervision. They'll just talk about all the crazy shit that happened in the streets with the kids. And there is a little bit of benefit.

to having some adult supervision, I feel like. I believe that kids are inherently good, but I also believe that they will fuck each other up without guidance. Well, yeah, you had to be like, hey, if you see a big van with nothing on it, and some guys just like, come on in, we got candy in here. Don't get it. I mean, to even have to say that to Winnie at this point is insane because, you know, I've literally with her 24-7, but yes, I do feel a strong need to be like,

hey, you know you can like do stuff without, you can just like play with. with your toys. You know what I mean? It's like a concept I am trying to get across. I am also really enjoying this Family Values T-shirt. It's a little different from what you said, though, Jackie. It is different from what I said, but the second I saw it, it was like, this was it. It was no, it's a little kid with like a creepy apple pie on her lap because I went to the Family Values Tour 2001. Was I sitting here doing research to figure out which one I went to? The answer is yes. There's also a one with a sad baby, though. There's the 1991 one. looks to have a sad baby.

Not a t-shirt. This one album, or like a tour poster? The tour poster. Then that was also for the 2001 as well. So there's the Tampa, Florida, and a Fort Lauderdale on the back of this shirt. Oh, yeah, I went to Tampa, babe. Yeah, I bet.

Oh, well, Fort Lauderdale's a little far. Yeah. Florida's a big state. Did you forget that? It's a big state, holding. I hear you. I get it, you know. You're going to be all up in its guts soon.

And yes, I got to see limp biscuit. And yes, I got to see filter and stained and corn. And yes, you should be envious of my life. And my sexy Christmas. You wait. Oh, baby. It's going to be, ooh, I guess I'm going to have to get caviar. I don't even like caviar.

Yeah, you should get some caviar. And I got to get a chain wallet. And I can't decide which one to get. I need a chain wallet. The longer, the better. It got to be long. Even though I'm of age, I will be asking Lexi to buy cigarettes for me because she is of age and I need to, if I'm going to have cigarettes, I need

to be through an adult. You got to be sneaking your alcohol. I mean, we all regress at Christmas, right? There is your, you're going to be sneaking alcohol. We all turn into teenagers and that's part of what we like about it, except Jackie, because she has no family to hide from this year. Yeah. Then you.

I have no family. Where is my family? Jackie, a moment is going to hit you. there's going to be one small moment it's going to hit and be like, oh, maybe it would have been nice to be around family, and I want you to think about in that moment.

It's always right when you close the Zoom call. It's like when you open your presents together Christmas morning, then he closed a Zoom call. And I'm like, oh, man, this is usually when we all go take a nap. Mom starts making dinner and like everything's done for you. Squash that thought.

It will not be better that way. It's way. It's way. It's way you're doing it, okay? Just think about me struggling in, I mean, shit, I guess I'll be flying to Charlotte probably. at that time, even.

Probably the day that we're getting the party bus to go see Christmas lights. That's fun. Who else going on the party bus? Because we are getting a party bus to go drive around and look at Christmas lights. You really are. Good idea. Really are Julia Louis Drive this, man. I can't believe this.

We really, we are, there is not a second of Christ in this Christmas this year. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, you know, we started off this episode. I wanted to bring up Wammageddon because, man, Holden and I, I don't know if you know this, are old. And MJ, I don't include you in this because I didn't know if you were aware of Wammageddon. You don't know if I identify as old?

I do. Okay, all right, great. So you're in there with me. But Holden I were... But I did not know about Wammaggedon. Gideon told me about it the other day because of this very story that you're about to talk about. Oh, yes. So there are rules for Wammageddon.

And I think I want to give a shout out to Slime Gang, who I believe ruined Wammageddon for many people while watching Jackin on Fridays when Holden I do Jack and. with the Holdies. And I looked it up and there are actual rules because I didn't want to ruin everyone's WAMageddon by singing the song up top. And there are official whamagetan.com for those that don't know what WAMageddon is. The first rule of WAMageddon is the objective is to go as long as possible without hearing Wham's Christmas classic Last Christmas. But are you not supposed to go grocery shopping? It's in every grocery store. What are we supposed to? We're supposed to, we're supposed to run out the grocery store?

No, no, no. I mean, if you're just done, I mean, you're just trying to, you're just trying to get, it's over. You're trying to get to, uh, Wham Hollow. But how can you play this game unless you don't leave your house? You know what I mean? Like, like, think about leaving your house less. It is, and I was going to ask you, we've probably had this conversation on page seven before, but everyone has the one Christmas carol that they really, or the one Christmas song that they really can't fucking stand. And for one of my friends, it is simply having a wonderful Christmas time, which I think is just a funny one to hate. But I, I, My husband hates that one too, and every time it comes on, it's very funny.

And he's just like, God, this damn son. I'm like, why? It's so jolly. I think it is kind of annoying. But I also, I used to think that last Christmas was annoying. And then somewhere along the way, I did a full circle. And now I'm like, no, it's good. But I just feel like it's everywhere, which of course is why Amageddon is fun.

But, yeah, it's just, I guess it's just like a Russian roulette situation. It either happens or it doesn't. Yes. And also, you're supposed to. technically bonus rule post on social media with the hashtag Whamageddon if you lose. It's like losing the game. Yes.

You know, which we all, sorry, we all just lost. And I think that it is, I guess it's not the youths that are doing this. I'm sure it is the millennials that are doing this right now. Because like I don't think that, like, I think like things like the game and like, you know, when Abraham Lincoln's ghost goes over the conversation, when there's a lot of, lull in the conversation. I think that we're like weirdly obsessed with these things of these games that we are always playing, but we don't know we're playing them. I love a group game. I think that this way I think it's just anxiety. It's just anxiety manifest. I think we'm again is fun. I think I think

it's like a nice game to play. Again, I just can't you just good luck going to the fucking grocery store because it is on every time. Although this morning at the grocery store they were doing Justin Bieber's Missiletoe, which, uh, mistletoe song, which I'm not familiar with that song. Oh, you probably know what if you hear. I imagine he sings up in that register, though. It's the most wonderful time of the year. But he's like, I'll just be waiting sad under the mistletoe. It's a sad boy Christmas song. It's pretty good. Yeah, whatever. Everything's meaningless in a way. The old world's just a junk pile. I just got to get out of this stupid small town.

Oh, teenager Christmas. I just seek it out of this small town. It's like a little town. It's like a see what the real world's like, man. I mean, you... You always fall back into that whenever you're hanging around your parents for too long, you do end up getting into the like, ugh, ugh.

Tis a damn season. Yeah, you start singing that. By the way, can someone fucking do a pop punk emo, whatever cover of Tis the damn season already so you can go ahead and make your millions of dollars like call out to any emo, whatever type of band?

Can you just make that rock, whiny emo cover of Tis the damn season yesterday. And the road night taking it's real good now. Time flies. Come on, dude. It's just in your face. Like, just make it already. But anyways.

I think we just need to start singing it like that every time we do karaoke. Time flies. No, man, at the end of the mud on your truck tires. Now I'm missing your smile. Hear me. Very into it. Very. I'm here for it, Holden.

You sound like Claire Dade's in. Romeo and Juliet. I was thinking about that the other day, like her old teenage eggs, just screaming in that movie, just screaming Shakespeare at the top of her lungs. Oh my God, it's such a good movie.

Totally holds up. Watch Romeo plus Juliet. So holds up, dude. And listen to our pop history about it. Oh, God. We learned so much. But I know that I must continue on with the rules, even though we get it, Jackie.

Second rule, game starts on December 1st, finishes at the end of December 24th. Third rule, only the original version applies. The fourth rule, you're out as soon as you recognize the song. So, and I feel like there, it's everywhere on the TikToks too. Like, this is, you know, it's setting you up for failure. And you know what we need more of around the Christmas season?

Failure. Yeah. I want to feel even more like a failure than I already do. Lost and failure. So it seems to have originated from Denmark too. So it kind of has reached us across the pond at this point. This is really the first year I've heard of it. How long has this been going on?

Hey, does Santa Con still happen? That dumb fuck tradition? Santa Con does still happen yet, MJ? Has that wrought a pawns to you yet? It shows you what a family values world I'm living in. I don't even know. But I did see, let me see, because every time Santa, Santa Con happens, everyone on Twitter is very mad about it.

Oh, yeah, the worst. Oh, my God. Working in customers or, like working at a coffee shop during Santa Con, the worst. Oh, man. Last Saturday. It was last weekend, yeah. Yeah.

And it's always, and I know it obviously has to be on a weekend day, but like when you work in a restaurant and you're so slammed on the weekends and then everybody's hammered and dressed up like Santa Claus and you're just like, just what do you want? What, what, order your food. What do you want? I'm, I'm looking at footage of this year's Santa Con right now and it's just bringing back so much rage. If you don't know, by the way, if you're, you're as lost as we were about Whamageddon when it comes to Santa Con. Santa Con, a bunch of fuckheads from New Jersey, come to New York City. Whoa, you blaming the Bridget and Tunnel crowd? I'm blaming the Bridget and Tunnel crowd.

I don't know if you want to go for the bridge and tunnel crowd. There's also dushy college kids from within the city that get involved in this too. Okay, it's not just the bridge and tunnel. It's very New York City to blame New Jersey for it. It's like I actually do, I don't know what the demographic breakdown is, but part of the discourse around Santa Con is that it's all people. from New Jersey, which I think is very funny. They all travel and they bring their trash fucking lifestyle into the city for a day.

They're hammered by nine in the morning and then they just like make everyone's day miserable. Miserable. Just for the whole thing. My least popular opinion is that I don't hate Santa Con. I think that a big group game is fun. It's like Wham again and we're all playing a game together. Everybody dresses up as Santa gets drunk on the subway.

What's wrong with seeing some drunk Santas on the subway? The problem is they barf everywhere. They're puking. everywhere and it's so early. And they're drinking a bunch of sugary drinks. And since they're all sugary drinks, you know that comes up first. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's the pucus. That's the problem. Even though it's freezing outside, there's all these like ladies in like sexy Santa costumes. A lot of sexy ladies. Yeah. It's hideous.

I'm seeing right now there's just a guy dressed like Donald Trump, just taking pictures with people. Just for whatever. Just because he decided to be a complete doucheback that day, just like all these other assholes. But see. I hate it. See our previous.

conversation about the good bros, right? Like, bro culture has some things to offer. And I'm not saying Santa Con is one of them, because everybody except me who's ever been born seems to hate Santa Con. But I do think that, like, ritualized group drinking. Also, can I just give a quick shout-out? It's weird that this crosses over.

But for our shout-outs, we have someone from our Twitch community that has fallen in love with a bro, and they wrote in their story. And the subject line is to love a... bro. Amazing. And I just want to give you a quick shout-up before the shout-outs pencil nubs

because I feel like this is going right out to you, Ben. That's great. You know, again, who's upset when they have to go to a Buffalo Wild Wings, you know? Not any of us. I love a beat-ups. I love a trashy time, by the way. It's not that.

I guess with Santa Con, it's because they're like throwing up in front of kids and making kids sad about Santa a little bit. And there are a lot of bad, there's a reason why bro culture, has so much negativity around it. So I don't mean to erase all of the bad masculine stuff about it. But I just think dressing up together is fun.

I think some elements of ritualized group drinking are fun, but also it's bad sometimes. Also, don't you think that definitely Santa is drunk all year? Like, there's no way he's not drunk all year. What else does he do? Ben, Mrs. Claus, get drunk all year. He enjoys like a brandy or something like that. But I don't think he turns up the club, Jackie,

is what these individuals are trying to do. Right. He's not drinking bud light. At six in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe he is. Maybe he doesn't like, you know, he goes into the workshop.

He's like, yeah, the elves. Yeah, keep hammering your toys. By the way, I'm not watching a bunch of people having fun inside of a bar right now. What I'm watching footage of is an assload of people lined up around the block waiting to get into the bar. That is what I'm looking at right now. It is just devastated. It's around an entire set. city block for one bar, that bar to that guy. I remember back when Ed worked at, uh, uh, what was

it, the poor house. The poor house. It would, it would come around. It would always catch you by surprise to you, like, you just start seeing the Santa Claus outfits and you go, fuck. And it was, I mean, it was this thing where he'd like, he'd make sure. It always, like, came out of nowhere as if you shouldn't expect it one weekend of December. Right. But every time it happened, you're like, God damn. Oh, I would change my plans. Like, if I was planning I going to the city that day. I would be like, nah, fuck it. I'll just, I'll deal with it. I'll get grotches tomorrow. Like, I'm not doing it. I'm not going to be around this. And, you know, because you don't want to be the asshole of Christmas, like this DJ that spoiled

WAMageddon for thousands of people by playing WAM's last Christmas at a football match. I think it's bigger in Europe is what this indicates. I don't think this would have the same effect at a NFL football stadium. No, I don't think people would get it. But that's why we're trying to spread the word, you know, so that we're all in on the joke. This is a fun game. I want to play it next year, but it was already fucked for us, as you mentioned at the beginning. Yeah. So I want to try to play it next year for sure. But I also, like MJ said, I was at the grocery store two days ago and I walked in and it was playing. And I was like, I mean, you can't get away from it.

Can't get away from it. Just tell me what, I just want to see people sprinting out of the grocery store, abandoning their carts, standing out in front of the grocery store, timing it two and a half minutes or whatever and then going back in. If that's what happens, if that's what has to happen to avoid hearing last Christmas. But it's the second you recognize the song. You're out. So, yeah. So you lose.

This is difficult. You're the weakest thing. Goodbye. No, come on. You're the week as well. Hello. But I mean, obviously, we can't not bring up, I mean, it's a Christmas episode. We're talking holidays here.

We got to talk about Mariah Carey. We must bring up Mariah Carey and the fact that she is 100% a page seven listener. This is it, guys. No question. It's confirmed. It is finally So confirmed. And you say how, Jackie, why would you say that she definitely listens to page 7? Can I just say, Mariah, I love you?

And because she showed up to celebrate one billion streams of all I want for Christmas is you by wearing a diamond Prada bucket hat. Bucket hat. And I just want to lay this out there

that like there's no way she doesn't listen. But okay, remember how we learned that Hilaria, Baldwin like follows the subreddit about her where people make fun of her? Yeah. And then she hired private investigators to find out who they were. Yeah. I actually think

that it is possible that Mariah Carey was like, they did a deep dive on me. Yeah. And like, because of course these people do, famous people do want, like they do look at the reddits about them, I think, right? They want to know what people are saying about them. I think that Taylor Swift obviously reads

the comments. It informs. She's clearly very much aware of what people say about her. So I'm just saying, Mariah, maybe heard about the pop history. Maybe she started listening. And then somewhere along the line, she was like, you know what? Bucket hats actually a great fashion. I love a bucket hat. Because how could she be wearing a diamond encrusted Prada bucket hat without the influence of Jackie Zabrowski? I don't see it. I don't see how there's a world in which it happens. You know what I mean? I wonder to also, also later in the article. You're being a real teenager Christmas right now. No, no, I'm saying I think it's absolutely the case that she's. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'm not disagreeing. I was even going to say later in the article, it says she also, for a pet, she got a fuck it bat. She got a fuck it bat. She got a fuck it bat. She got a fuck it hat. No, no, no, as a pet, Jesus, this is going poorly for me. As a pet, she got a fuck it bat.

Are you doing a pun? Yeah, because we used to talk about fucking bats and bucket hats, that's why. I just wanted to let him sit in that. I just wanted him to feel it. April, you're taking this out. Or not. I don't know why I went down a real,

I went down a real, Jackie was stoned worm time. that I don't know why I read a headline talking about Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You and I don't know why I thought Oh my God, is she singing about Santa Claus in this song that I had to open up the lyrics to it

and be like, is she singing that all I want for Christmas is you Santa Claus sexually? No. But I don't think that's the case But then I thought, what if it was? Yeah, you sent an entirely unrelated article about the like ownership wars over the song because the person who co-wrote the song feels like they've gotten a bit of a shaft from Mariah Carey.

They have been going after her for years for this song and like they haven't been able to do anything about it. Walter F. F. F. Anasiev is a co-author of the song and they he kind of got broken up with as a collaborator with her shortly after the song came out and he's kind of over here being like, Hey guys, guys, it's my song too. And nobody's listening to him.

And so Jackie sent that article, also the authors of a song from 1989, that's called All I Want for Christmas is You, also going after Mariah without much luck. But Jackie sent this article about all the kind of like, you know, fights over whose song is this and who stole the idea from who. But she sent it with the question is she's singing about fucking Santa. And I was doing like a close read of this article. I was like, where in the article does it suggest that she's singing about fucking Santa? I don't think she's singing about fucking Santa. This is where it gets totally disproven here. It says, you know, I hear those sleigh bells ringing.

Santa won't you bring me the one I really need? Won't you please bring my baby to me? So she's, you're saying. I think she's talking to him. So when I go say to Lex, Santa Claus will make me happy with a toy on Christmas Day. You know why? Because she wants to have sex with him.

No. She wants her bit. So that's just like me being like. Hey, Lexi, can you bring my baby to me? And by that, I mean you, I would never, who communicates like that? They would never communicate like that. Some people in a song might. And I'm just saying, can't we just open up our minds a little bit?

Can't we just dream, Holden? Why do you have to squash all my dream birds? While I'm just thinking maybe that there's an underlying meaning to the song that we never thought about. I'm just, it's hard to ignore context clues, you know? It's hard to ignore operative. words here. It's also interesting because Jackie has historically not liked songs about fucking Santa. Yeah.

Again, Santa maybe. But it's a horny Christmas. I'm having sexy Christmas. So I'm trying to fuck. Seek it out. Yeah. I mean, your husband could dress up like Santa pretty convincingly. Yeah.

You think so? Yeah. Put the gray in the beard. All that could pat him out, I guess. You could do the fuck me Santa, bad Santa scene. I mean, we just watched bad. Fuck me Santa. Fuck me Santa.

There you go. Man, Lorelei and that is. Oh, man, she is unparalleled. So good. Bad Santa holds the fuck up. Also, Bernie Mac and John Ritter are just... Amazing. Perfect.

Absolutely perfect in it. But, you know, all I just, all of this, you know, sometimes I hear a song and my brain goes other places. You know why? Because I'm not like the other girls. I'm a bit of a Bella, all right? And yes, I'm a little bit different. And I'm so different that I am obsessed with Muppets.

Christmas Carol. Yes, we are here to talk about our watch-along. The Muppet Christmas Carol, yearly watch-along, December 18th, 5 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And we want to debut, ooh, the cinnamon toast crunch cocktail that we're going to be drinking, which, what's that? Is it rum chata mixed with fireball? The answer is yes. The answer is yes. I've been dreaming. Every year I see these little videos. about like a cute festive cocktail. And I always think, oh, that looks so fun. I should do that.

I like to have a little festive cocktail around this time of year. And then every year I'm just like, you know what? I'm just going to have a shot of whiskey and a beer instead. But I like the, I'm so glad that we're going to do a festive cocktail because I really aspire to it. And we're going to do it. We already have our rules for the drinking game this year. It's going to be a heavy drink every time a ghost appears. Drink anytime food talks, drink every time RISO.

so gets hurt and finish your drink when when love is gone is played. That will be happily. Yes. I will happily finish my drink when they can finish your god awful song. You can finish you drink. I thought it had been taken out. I thought that the me's of the world had won. But now it's back because the use of the world. You know, by the way, Jackie, isn't it knowing that the curse would be lifted on us if MJ's heart would just be filled one time listening to when love is gone? But every year, MJ denies. Is that why you think the world is bad? Because I don't like it. I don't think it was releasing the butthole cut, which we've been doing all year last year. I think it's different now.

I'm supposed to be moved by it. Your heart needs to grow three sizes when you hear that song and every year you deny it. And so the curse continues to destroy us all. Why are you doing this to us, MJ? Why are you doing this us, MJ? Well, it's a good thing I have to finish my drink before the song comes on because maybe that'll make me a little bit nostalgic, a little bit more feely. And maybe I'll be able to finally open my heart to that fucking shitty song.

He's a bad man, Bell. He's not, I mean, he... My kids were so interested in the dad and elf. They were like, you know, also the concept of a bad dad is very new to them. You should show them the godfather. They're like, why is the dad not nice to his son? And I was like, well, the dad only cares about himself and money. And so Zelda just keeps repeating, that dad only cares about himself and money.

That's so cute. Oh, my God, Zelda's so cute. When the dad starts to realize, like, I'm explaining, like, towards the end, like, well, now the dad is starting to realize he might care about buddy. And so that goes, now to dad cares about three things, himself, money, and a little bit buddy. And I was like, well, he's starting to care less about money and more about his children. Yes. But anyway, Scrooge, irredeemable. Man, your kids are bringing the magic of the holidays.

Ah, yes. They are just... Scrooge irredeemable is the opposite. I know what's that. It's technically completely. I got out of my skis there. He is redeemable. You're right.

He's redeemed. Okay. All right. This is also something I talk with my kids a lot about. All bad people sometimes have good in them. And you're right. Scrooge is that person. But what is he going to do?

Go back and give homes to all the people he kicked out of their homes. Remember the or. that he got rid of, what about all those orphans? Which is why it's a wonderful life is also a great Christmas movie because Potter is never redeemed. Some of those rich people are never redeemable. And it's nice that Scrooge is redeemed. And that's true. And it is good to remember that even bad people have good in their hearts of that. But sometimes. Sometimes to get a dose of reality. We get an angry mob together like the SNL alternate ending of its wonderful life. We get an angry mob together and we beat Mr. Potter

with baseball bats, which is what there is a famous Dana Carvey SNL sketch about the alternate ending to its wonderful life. Because if you watch it's a wonderful life, you might notice that there is no redemption for Mr. Potter. He's just an awful man, and he stays an awful man. Yeah, I do like stories, too, that involve that, you know, where somebody's just a bad person and, like,

there's just, that's never going to change. Like, East of Eden. Now, there's a book you can set your watch to. And it's money. You know, money. It's, Mr. Potter just wants to keep his money. It's like, who cares what's in his heart? He just wants to keep the money.

What's the character? What's her name in East of Eden? The evil lady that's so evil. God, she's so, oh, man, that book gets you. That book will get you. That's what we need a literature podcast. That's what we really should be doing right now. Oh, let's talk about Tess of the Derberville's a book I read in high school.

Oh, right? Is that like Hounds of the Baskervilles? Like, yeah, it's a way more boring. I've never known how to say it. It's only something I've read. I've never said it out loud. Tess of Duberville. is how I say it in my head. The Derberville part is spelled with an apostrophe. Man, what a good book about the class divide in the industrial age, huh? And how that changed everything for people in a time? But how about the fact that... What were those winters? How about the fact that I was listening to Rock it around the Christmas tree as inspired by Jackie? We were listening to it with the kids yesterday. Brendanator. Brendanator. We're Brendan Nader's in this house.

and we were listening and Freddie goes, she said fucking. And I was like, what? When did she say fucking? And I realized that Freddie thought that in the part where she says, later we'll have some pumpkin pie and we'll do some garrulin. Freddie thought she had said, later we'll have some fucking pie.

Which is better. It's so cute. And now I feel like I'm forever going to say, later we'll have some fucking pie. And I'm always going to think of your children. As we all should. We can replace the lyrics officially. They're just so damn cute.

Do you want to talk about what Zelda said when they opened up the present from my mother? Yes, Jack. Well, first of all, we need to tell the world how incredibly thoughtful both Jackie and her mom are. I've spoken a lot about what a good gift giver Jackie is. She thinks about it all years. She always gives like the perfect gifts. But also her mom is incredibly thoughtful and always gives Jackie's friends incredibly thoughtful gifts. And so Jackie's wonderful mom made these beautiful hand-sown dolls for my kids.

This is very exciting because my kids are actually really interested in learning how to sew. And so they were opening it. And I was like, Jackie's mom, Linda, sewed these, like she sewed these just for you. And Zelda goes, what the fucking shit? And she's holding this wonderful doll. I'm like videotaping it, hoping to send it to Jackie to send to Linda to say thank you. What the fucking shit? What the fucking shit is Zelda's favorite?

right now. And it is a good little pastiche of obscenities woven together. It's so cute. See it little kids curse like that is so funny. Well, because you let them free range curse within the house. Yes. So that's our approach. Rather than making the words forbidden, we try to explain what they mean, why people say them in the context where you can say certain words, why words are powerful or whatever. But what it's translated to is that my kids swear like sailors right now. And, um, What the fucking shit is the Christmas spirit phrase going on in our house. That's what we say when we're thankful. What the fucking shit?

Thank you, Linda. Oh, fills my heart with genuine joy. So I just want to say thank you so much for sharing. And I mean, we can't not say it during this episode, even though it has nothing to do with the holidays. But, I mean, Taylor Swift is Times person of the year. We have to bring it. up. I throw my hands up. It happened. It happened. Okay. Taylor Swift is time person of the year. It's done. Okay. Not another important thing happened to this year of note, by the way.

No. Besides her dating Travis Kelsey and putting the eras out in movie theaters. That's it. Sorry. Oops. But she of course brought her cat with her, brought Benjamin one of her cats with her on the cover. and I need to read this cutest comment that was written underneath a different article that says, I'm a 72-year-old man. I love football. I knew nothing of Taylor before this summer. I decided to find out about her. I have no children.

If I did, I would hope for a daughter like Taylor. Smart, talented, caring, down to earth, not outsized in her mind by celebrity. a wonderfully accomplished young woman. Having learned what I have, there's little surprise regarding Time magazine making its decision. Taylor, please remain a role model for your and other generations.

What a beautiful sweet man. I mean, you just, you know. Or what a beautiful sweet. Taylor Swift in disguise, typing that comment on the article. Don't say it. Man, you think she's in Yahoo comments? Man, that's insidious.

No, but it is very sweet. It is very sweet. or a Swifty being like, I'm going to pretend to be a lonely 72-year-old man whose heart was turned by Taylor. He doesn't have any children. Can you imagine lying about something like that? I think that I'm just such a bad liar in every way. Like, I can, I am such a me person that, like, I couldn't imagine taking the time to lie. Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean? I completely. Or is that just because my heart has grown seven sizes, MJ? Yeah, that's because you've got the spirit of Christmas in you. It doesn't matter how sexy it gets. You'll always have the When Love is Gone spirit in you. All right.

I know we have to get to the celebrity conspiracy, but I want to talk about one more article before we do because I'm so curious to ask you guys, do you brush your teeth and or pee in the shower? Like Holly Clarkson.

We're talking about Kelly Clarkson was talking to Keenan Thompson. And Kelly Clarkson, she says, here's the thing, I don't regularly brush my teeth in the shower. I just do if I'm in a hurry. and which, you know, I've truly, honestly, never brushed my teeth in the shower before, but I know that this is a practice that people do, so I'm not that weirded out by it.

I'm not weirded out by the piss in the shower either, but she does say that she pisses almost every time she's in the shower. That's too much. So this is my policy. And she likes it. She likes to do all three. That's the weird part, too. I would say I like to, I don't like to.

It's never a want of mine. But sometimes you don't realize you have to piss until you're well into the shower. You're already in the shower. That is when I give myself the grace of peeing in the shower. It happens sometimes. I never planned for it. What am I supposed to do, guys?

Am I supposed to then turn off my shower right at the start of it? I'm fully drenched, dry off, or like stand there just soaking wet and like pee into the toilet, then get back into the shower, like freezing cold. Like, it makes no sense. Sometimes I just literally don't even think about it. Now, the brushing the teeth in the shower is something that Lexi does, and I don't get it at all. Some people, like, keep their toothbrush in the shower.

In the shower. And it blows my mind. It's like why there's no to me. But it's the same thing as the teeth. I feel like it doesn't save you any time because you're still have to brush your teeth. Yeah, you're still. Right. The time has taken one.

But I was also weirded out by this at first because I was like, I had never done it. and I think I saw that, I don't know, whose house I was at where I saw a toothbrush being stored in the shower and I was like, what an interesting choice. And I tried it just to kind of try it on. And I was like, I mean, I guess it's nice to, if I'm going to spend two minutes doing this, it's nice. I like being in the shower. I guess it's fine. You know, I'm not grossed out by like the spit or whatever because, no. Yeah, I have this weird disconnect in my head that like shower water is not acceptable to go into the mouth. Yeah. I think that's because when I was a kid and I started learning how to take. showers, I would just open my mouth and drink all the water. And your parents are like, don't do that. When he just tries to like drink the bath water. So I think maybe there's just so much instilled in you of like, don't drink the shower water, don't drink the shower water. And so I find that to be repulsive, but it's just all dog training of me growing up, you know. But yeah, but then peeing in the shower though, which is actually technically way grosser is fine,

but it's on a technicality. You have to, the rule is, it's like, Whamageddon, the rule is though, you have to have blundered and not realize you had to pee until you're fully in the shower. If I have to, if I realize I have to pee and I'm like, just about to dip a toe into the shower, I'm peeing in the toilet.

Yeah, I pee, but I also, you also have a hose attached to you. Yes. Those without a hose. Like, I just don't like the feeling of it going down, like the hot liquid going down my leg. I don't really, I can't have a position. I'm well aware of how the water's traveling inside of the shower.

So I'm even able to like technically hopefully keep my feet as removed from the pee as humanly possible. But who knows? Because I'm just pissing all over my feet. So it's like unless the stream is so hard that like it shoots out of you, which like you could do that. You can aim it. Yeah. But you have to have enough piss in there. Yeah.

And by the way, for all the roundtable historians that are going to be like pointing at this as proof that I shit in the shower, just because I'm saying that sometimes on the technicality I piss in the shower. I'm just going to say shame, shame. It's different. Shame on you. It's different. It's different. Shame on your house. I think we're all in the Kenan Thompson camp, which was, Tina Thompson responded to Kelly Clarkson by saying, I mean, I've done it, but every time I do it, I feel shame. Yeah. Which I think is the only correct response to admit, yes, sometimes, even if you pee right before the shower, sometimes you get in, you realize there's a little left in there. Like, it's not something that you should plan to do.

The way that, if you're like, I'm in a hurry, I'll brush my teeth in the shower, plan for it. Whatever. I got no judgment on that. If you brush your teeth and piss to the shower right in and let us snugs, that is wild. But if you're planning for it, if you're turned on the water and you're like, great, good timing. I also have to piss. Let me get into the shower to piss. Then, no, reevaluate your life.

Well, it's time to take a piss on a celebrity conspiracy. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Is Lord actually a bird? This one comes from Annie. Are you talking about Lord God or the person? Good question. I'm talking about...

Really depends. The person I'm talking about... It's the season to talk about Lord God. I'm talking about Jack Antenof... Cheating with Lord. Yeah, Lord. That Lord. This one comes in from Annie who writes,

Hi, guys. So I was recently watching a clip from Hot Ones when Lord absolutely houses some hot-ass without flinching. I started thinking about that trick you can do to a bird feeder when you have too many squirrels infiltrating it. You know the trick, guys. Oh, yeah.

You mix in cayenne with the bird seed because it's too hot for the squirrels, but it doesn't affect the birds because they don't have the taste sensors to detect capacity or some shit. Wow. She then links to an article proving this, and the article comes from a website called birdwatchingbuzz.com, so it seems pretty legit. Whoa. She goes on. Anyway, I died laughing at this thought because let's be real. Girls got bird vibes. That time she's shushed that crowd, I don't know. Seems like something a bird would do because their song is just so important. By the way, I don't know if you saw that video clip, but she's like in a club singing one of her like more like thoughtful kind of slower songs. And she actually in the middle of it starts shushing people singing along with her so she can like have her moment. And it's so it's one of the most awkward

stage things I've ever seen. You got to... She goes like, shush, she's in the... I am my mother's child. I am I... She's singing that song. Yeah.

And she like... It's so... I don't know how to describe it. You just have to watch the video. It's so awkward, though. It's like one of the more awkward stage moments I've ever seen. That's what they're referring to.

She even dressed up like a crow and or vulture for this award show. She then links to an article about Lord at the Billboard Awards in 2014, at which she did in fact dress like a crow. And actually, the article is literally titled this. Lord dresses like a bird swoops in and steals rock award. So even they are acknowledging it.

She also composed the soundtrack for the Hunger Games, mocking J movie. Come on, so obvious. Bird woman. And this might be a little harsh, but she's got sharp facial features that remind me of a beak. You can't deny it.

Anyway, interesting to hear what y'all think. I love you guys. Thanks for keeping me company. Always through the good and bad. Hashtag you got to be stupid me. Love Annie. Thank you for this. I mean, she also named the album that we love mellow, ah, drama, you know?

So that, which was weird. I didn't understand why she had. And I was like, oh, that's just like a Lord thing. Good, Lord. I think she's definitely a bird. If you Google is Lord, the suggestions are, is Lord an industry plant? Is Lord a Scrabble word? And is Lord Madonna's daughter.

Oh, wow. So that sounds like there's another celebrity conspiracy on our hand. Interesting. All right. I'll have to look into is Lord Madonna's daughter. a little bit. That's a good. No results for is Lord a bird, but I'm doing my damned to make any Google suggestion. Well, that's the beauty

of the conspiracy. You know, this one needs to catch some fire on the TikToks, and we could be part of the grassroots of this conspiracy. Yeah, I think this is going to be our 2024. I think this is our campaign. You know, like what presidential, who care, this is the campaign that we're going to be working on.

And I, in 2024, by the end of it, I vow, Lord will be my porch goose. Whoa. I will, I can't, yes. That is my goal for 2024 to get Lord as my porch goose sitting in front of my door, greeting people as they walk by or calling at them or chasing them whatever she wishes. I don't care. Lamenting them. That'd be nice.

Singing a serenading them would be nice. Don't even bring up poor Gloria. I can't find her Santa hat. And she's wearing a Santa costume and she doesn't have her Santa hat on. And I'm like, I don't even know who she is. You're such a bad mother, Jackie. I can't find her Santa hat. I was about to make one.

I might have to make one. I hate to tell you this as a fact because it just seems it appropriate, but you're a terrible mother-tuce. Maybe, okay, go to the liquor store. You know how at the liquor store they have the little wine, Santa hats you can put on top of your wine? That would be too small. It's too small, but at least it's something.

It's something. You're right. Because right now she's just wearing a red coat. Yeah, she's probably got frozen head disease. Don't say that to her. It's easy for them to get during this time of year. I've got her leopard print winter coat that I usually wait and put it on in January, but I might have to put it on now if she's this cold.

I mean, it's just rough. It's rough out there for Jackie's Porch goose. Thank you. Maybe I should get her a sexy Christmas outfit. Or get a Porsche Lord. I say get a porch lord. Yeah. And then you don't deal it in.

Yeah, but then I'm going to have to like strap her down. And I feel like that's going to be like that's kidnapping, right? Adult naping. I mean, I think only one of you can have the porch lord. Yeah, you already called her, Holden. And I think that Gloria would be a little upset if I brought home. I think she's more of a porch crow than anything. He keeps trying to sing along with my porch lord.

She keeps shushing. And she keeps inviting Jack Antonoff over to try to get him to cheat on his girlfriend. I just don't understand what's going on here. That would be so... Why would she shush them? You got to watch the video, bro. Because I knew exactly what she was referencing in that, conspiracy theories. You have to

I'll try to find it while you're doing the list. I love it. I don't want to distract you from the list. Please don't distract me from the list because it's time for the list. It came up so quickly. Oh God, there's a compilation. Sorry, I'll read this. Oh. Oh.

The list. Jack is going to have that list. There's a compilation of her doing it, so I guess it's not a thing. Oh, it's not a one-time show thing. Oh, Lord. Oh, my God. Yeah, Lord. Lord. Lord. This is festive facts about your favorite holiday movies. And even though there's nothing on here about the Michael Keaton version of Jack Frost, we did watch that over the weekend.

And man, it's a weird movie, but he was a good dad. And now he's dead, MJ. Anyway, festive facts about your favorite holiday movies, It's a Wonderful Life was a Box Office bomb. Though it has become a quintessential American classic, It's a Wonderful Life was not, an immediate hit with audiences. In fact, it put director Frank Capra $525,000 in the whole, which left him scrambling to finance his production company's next picture, State of the Union. There's all this fascinating stuff about this because it's like people thought it was communist propaganda, you know, because it's so anti-capitalist. It is actually,

the history of this movie is like fascinating. Whoa. Mr. Potter is a banker and a landlord, right? And he has control. He has the town and a stranglehold. And, George Bailey is the one, there's all these lines about, I'm the one person in town that saves people from crawling to Potter. And so of course all the,

you know, all the McCarthyites were like, what is this communist propaganda? So yeah, it was a lot. Yeah, yeah, fascinating. Thank you for the inside. I had no idea. Yeah, it's one of the many things. I love about that movie.

Like, there's a lot of movies like that. What did we just do for Whizbrough? We just did Charlie in the Chocolate Factory for Whizber. Or Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory, rather, because that's the name of the original. So not the book. Or is that the book? The book is Charlie.

A couple of facts to clarify this. So the reason why it was Willie Wonka, it was because the movie was essentially made by the Quaker Oates Company is they were trying to like sell Wonka bars. So they changed the name to Willie Wonka in the Chocolate Factory instead of Charlie's chocolate factory for the movie because the whole idea was they were like trying to launch a bunch of candy via the movie. I mean, if I was old enough and alive, I would have been everywhere looking for that fucking golden ticket.

Yes. If that first came out. Absolutely. So that was kind of the idea there. And then it was definitely the kind of movie that like did not do well in the box office, but just because it was on TV all the fucking time. And like because it was like that movie that they would put on at summer camp or whatever. He's also weirdly sad and they do like kill kids.

It's weird. It's a weird ass movie. I get it. It's a weird ass. The book is also, yeah. The book, I recently read the book with the kids. And I was like, they're like, well, what happens to all the children when they disappear? And I'm like, I think, I don't know.

We're going to keep it moving. It's like, this book was written by a guy who kind of hated kids. Like, that's a big part of these books. That's why kids, like, love it because, like, the author hates kids as much as kids hate kids. So it works really well. He drowned in the river. Yeah, yeah. That's what happened to him.

He also has an irrational hatred of beards, among other groups of people. But regardless. Yeah, right. Perious people of different sizes. But, yeah. It's totally one of those. There's a lot of movies like that that in that pocket of kids being just shoved in front of the TV for hours on end, but you just were at the whim of whatever was on the TV.

You didn't have any choice. And VHS being a huge market all of a sudden and people being able to like bring movies home to watch. It just weird movies became very popular through that. Interesting. And I think that it's changed a lot like since we've got. gotten streaming and stuff. I mean, think about the movies you were obsessed with as a kid.

It was because they were on TV all the time. Like, why was an eight-year-old obsessed with steel magnolias? Yeah. You know, it's like, that's not an eight-year-old's movie. Totally. Or even just the bad shit, like mom and dad save the world and all that shit. It doesn't hold up. It breaks my heart.

It doesn't hold up. It was, I knew it was bad back there, but I watched it 20 times because it was on and I was bored. And there was like literally, you know, nothing to do. And it was the opposite of what we were describing before with like latchkey kids where like you would just be like out on the streets. Like no, no, no. We were a generation that was like, oh, our parents aren't around. I guess I'm sitting on this couch watching fucking whatever for the next, you know, five, six hours, you know, whatever until like they call me for dinner. Especially if your parents worked and you were off of school. Like it's like, where would you go? Like literally my mom had like a shop that she ran out of

the basement. So she would be. downstairs working and she would just put me in front of the TV and be like, if you need anything, come downstairs and get me. And that was it. Yeah, it was the rights, starting from a very young age. Syndication for its wonderful life were like crazy cheap or barely anything.

And they started playing it on Christmas Eve on like NBC and then they would have like various stars sit and be like, this is what Christmas means to me. Right. And it just like came, it just like became this Christmas tradition. Man, this next fact I remember covering in our,

again, pop history. episode about Charlie Brown Christmas. A Charlie Brown Christmas was supposed to have a laugh track. In the 1960s, it was standard procedure to lay a laugh track over virtually any half-hour comedy, even if the performers were drawn in. When executive producer Lee Mendelsohn told Charles Schultz, he didn't see the Peanuts special being any different, the artist got up and left the room for several minutes before coming in and continuing as if nothing had happened, Mendelssohn got the hint. I love everything I ever learned about Charles Schultz is so fast.

He was just like, fuck off. And children have real feelings. Also, yeah, the Charlie Brown Christmas, it's not a comedy. No. Just dark, dark, dark. And so the idea of having a laugh track over it would make it so sinister. Yes. It's like kind of haunting to imagine it with a laugh track.

It's just about Charlie Brown's depression. Yes. Yeah. It's got to be devoid of joy. It's got to be, it's got to be like this empty feeling. The deafening silence is part of it. But it also did change a lot of other things, which I forgot about. This is further on the list.

A Charlie Brown Christmas killed the aluminum tree business. Oh my God. Which makes a lot of sense. Aluminum Christmas trees were marketed beginning in 1958 and enjoyed fairly strong sales by eliminating pesky needles and tree sap. But the annual airings of a Charlie Brown Christmas swayed public thinking. And the special Charlie Brown refuses to get a fake tree. Viewers began to do the same and the product was virtually phased out by 1969.

The leftovers are new collector's items. Wow. Yeah, I still have a stigma against fake trees. Like we're using a fake tree this time around because they're so expensive and we're leaving so early. We were like, fuck it. Let's just put the fake tree up. We have like a backup, essentially. And I always have a weird feeling about it.

I feel like I'm cheating because of Charlie Brown Christmas. And even though like the tree that I got that I spent way too much money on really doesn't have that much of a cent. So I had to go out and buy the pine sticks. any way to put inside of it. So what am I doing here? That's funny. Oh, man, we didn't even talk about the extremely creepy trees all over Kim Kardashian's house. But if you want to see, that is a, uh, oh my God, terrifying thing.

Outside of her bathroom. Honestly, the trees in her bathroom, if you look up, Kim Kardashian, we'll talk about it, I'm sure in the leftovers, but the trees make me think of the scene in the shining that they didn't put in the movie, but is in the book where the animal hedges are coming to life. Uh-huh. And every time he turns around, the hedges have moved. closer to him because they're like stalking him like prey. That's what the trees make me think of in her bathroom, which I think is rock and roll.

Good reference. Good reference. Looks very, very scary. I want to see this movie. Gremlins was intended to be much, much darker, which is insane because there's already the monologue where her dad was pretending to be Santa Claus and then gets like stuck in the chimney. I love that monologue.

It's so good. Unbelievable. And so though some might contend that Gremlins is a pretty dark film, the original script written by Chris Columbus was much, much darker. Case in point, earlier scenes included the Gremlin's eating Billy's dog, then decapitating his mom and throwing her head down the stairs. Oh, yeah. Steven Spielberg, director Joe Dante and Warner Brothers were all in agreement that they should

tone down the gore in order to make the movie more family-friendly. But here's the thing. even though like it doesn't have like the mom getting decapitated have you watched grimlins lately it still is as an adult very creepy oh yeah like what do you do like that just in that situation it's so it's such if you haven't watched it in years do yourself a flavor watch it this year grimlins and grimlins too are just absolute gyms i love them uh man it just keeps coming up over and over again but wizard the brouser did an episode on the grimlin on grimlins so check that out. But yeah, I just

love what Gremlin serves. It's this perfect comedy horror mixture that is just so good. And the fact that it's also kind of technically a Christmas movie, it's right up there with diehard for like, man, great alternatives to Christmas movies during the season. And I dare say, let me throw, can I

sprinkle in a crampus? Yeah. Crampus, the movie, if you haven't seen it, is genuinely funny. And also, outside of the little gingerbread, everything is practically made. So it's just such cool, like, big, creepy puppets and stuff like that. Crampus,

highly recommend. And if you want to be terrified to the utter fucking bones of you, then you can look no further than best Christmas ever. Which you can watch along with us. I believe the episode comes out on December 28th.

We have done the watch along. Oh, best Christmas ever. It's a Netflix movie and it is it's right. Oh, whatever, MJ. You loved it. Don't stop lying about it. I did. No, I enjoyed it. it doesn't mean it's good, but we all enjoyed it, Holden. All three of us enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I'm with you, MJ. I stand in your corner. The hundred blue thing at the end was so stupid. Don't get me started on Monkey Bob. Ooh, that monkey. Oh, he makes me so mad. Oh, you're right. I did spend most of the watchalong being like, I'm surprised by how much I like this.

Yes. MJ was completely charmed by it. It makes no sense. Yeah, I feel like, what is that? That's part of the Christmas curse. How can you not, how can you be so uncharmed by such a beautiful part of a perfect. holiday classic as Muppet Christmas Carol. And yet, and yet. Charmed by. Heather Graham, acting like a psychopath for an entire filmic experience. And you loved it. Yeah. You loved all of it.

My priorities are all mixed up. My family values are all over the place. And that's why it's a family values Christmas. You can have your monkey bob, and you can go put Christmas in a shoe. Thank you very much. That's right. I said it. With the old woman?

But there's not enough room. And, do, do, do, do. Which, I don't even know which fact to go to next. There's so many of them on the list. What's the final one? What about the fact? There's a Muppet Christmas Carol. Well, we know.

This is, you know, this everybody knows. It's the first Muppet movie ever made without Jim Henson. But they do a lot to like, you know, pay all. And it's his son. It's a son making it, which is why Muppet Christmas Carol is so good. Part of what makes it so good and moving. That's the one that I wanted to read. Because we just watched Bad Santa,

Bill Murray was actually the first choice for the lead in Bad Santa. Wow. But he chose to do Lost in Translation and said, but can I just say, Billy Bob Thornton is so good in Bad Santa. I know it's not a Santa movie for everybody,

but man, it is certainly a Santa movie for me. Wow. All right, two things with that. A, yeah, Billy Bob Thornton's iconic, right? Couldn't imagine it would not be. and anyone else, even Bill Murray, which is saying something. B, what a crossroads different timeline moment for Bill Murray? If he had made Bad Sanna, it would have totally moved his career forward in the exact way it had been going.

But instead he goes and makes loss in translation and becomes this like indie darling, like prestige actor after this moment, right? If he had went and made Bad Sanna, it would have just completely cemented the next, like, I feel like decade of his career being totally opposite. be in still being like in goofball comedies. I mean, speaking of would it have been totally opposite? Would it have been the same movie? Jim Carrey was initially eyed to star an elf.

But that's because the spec script first emerged in 1993. That's funny. And this was before Ace Ventura. And so he was attached to the film. But it took 10 years to get the project going. So by that time, Will Farrell was a much bigger star and he became attached to it instead. Now in that instance, I could see both. that role.

Honestly, I could. I have to throw this out there. It's another bad Santa, but it's just a really quick fact. The Czech Republic bad Santa is called Santa is a pervert. Which is such a good name. Related to the It's a Wonderful Life fact

on this very list in 1947, the FBI issued a memo, noting that It's a Wonderful Life is a potential communist infiltration of the motion picture industry, citing its, quote, rather obvious attempts to discredit bankers by casting Lionel Barrymore

as a Scrooge type so that he would become the most hated man in the picture. This according to these sources is a common trick used by communists. Whoa. It's so funny. I was about to be like, man, I'm so glad we're past those days. Then I remember that everyone now just thinks everyone's pedophiles in Hollywood.

Yeah, right. It's weirdly worse. Yes. Yeah, it's weirdly worse. It'll always be like that. All right, here we go. I get it. I know what's going on because I'd stop and being able to see. I think I'm going. Line! items.

Oh, we can't see him. The brother's singer is fully on board with his ex dating because the person he has been seeing much longer than his ex is pregnant. Whoa. Or had a pregnancy scare. It is still unclear.

Oh, man. Well, because she's starting to date, Sophie Turner just came out with, I kept thinking, I was like, what, is he a falcon? Because I think his last name is Paragrin. I don't know who this person is. I could see it.

Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas Wait, do you think that he was cheating on her? Wait, I'm going to need you to break this down for me a little bit. All right, so Sovi Turner Joe Jonas, right? Big divorce, big public divorce. Got that part. She had two kids. He tried to throw under the bus, obviously, through PR stuff.

And then clearly it was like him kind of probably, who knows, this point, we can't, we can never say for sure. But it seems to point to her actually being the person who was kind of more in the victim space of this whole thing. and he's kind of trying to orchestrate a different version of the truth. Right. And so this would track with that. I mean, I could totally see.

I could totally see. I think anything she's doing to, like, move past him at this point and, like, not be aiming anything at him is probably he's thrilled by. He's like, because I think he's just, he's kind of. And what's the blind is saying that she was cheating on him? No. The blind is saying he's thrilled. He's dating someone now.

I see. Paragrin Pearson is this guy's name. He sounds like he's in like the movie, like a Wes Anderson movie or something. So I'm saying, like he's the bird. I think that if anybody's a bird, it's him. He did date lord. He did apparently put it.

I see. So Joe Jonas is happy that she's dating around because he's like, let me just back slowly into the bushes here. And everyone's something about me. Because he, and it's speculating that he, the lady he's been with, he's been with for a long time,

probably while he was still with Sophie. and that they are either pregnant or had a pregnancy scare. Heist was cheating on Hurst. Which that's probably all bullshit. But it's fun to speculate. Good for you, Sophie. Get moving on, girl.

I don't know about a guy named Peregrine. Seems suspect. Maybe you don't have the best decision-making abilities. He's a little cutie. But, I mean, come on. Paragon. Sounds like a character in Riverdale. I know, right?

Yeah, he looks like a character in Riverdale. He also looks like. Paragrin Pearson. It looks like he. do quite well in Riverdale. All right, here we go. Next one. Are you supposed to know who Peregrin Pearson is?

Now I'm looking at it. I'm trying to find out. I don't think so. I think I'd remember that fucking bonkers name. I guess he's just as aristocrat Peregrine Perry Pearson. Trust fund. Yeah.

He's an aristocrat. Oh, he's an aristocrat. That's why I don't know him. An aristocrat. I mean, I think that just means trust fund kid. Oh, he co-founded Wheatman, a property investment and development company. Cool. Fascinating.

Yeah, I bet it's silly. I bet he's also like a hot dog ambassador. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's like a, I bet they also make like fudge or something. Here we go. Up next, let's talk feuds, shall we? This A-list actress reignited her feud

with the A-list celebrity this past weekend. Now the actress is back on social media, liking random posts that hate on the celebrity, Can we all just get along? No, is it Kim K and Tay? No. One is married to a very famous singer. The other one is a very famous singer that used to be with that singer.

And also she acts. She acts more than she sings nowadays. Ooh. Gagah? No. Similar camp. Acts for TV show. Ex for TV show.

But a prestige. Oh, the murders left in the building. Selena Gomez. Yes. Who would she have? Oh, what's her face? Oh, God. Haley Bolden.

Baldwin-Beber, yeah. Yes. They're just like, did you imagine? Oh, yeah. Catty cats. Did you imagine going online? I have definitely had hate for people online, as we all have. I have never, even someone I didn't know that was a celebrity I didn't like.

I've never gone around just liking social. People are fucking animals online on social media. This is generational, though. This is like, I think about this all the time with raising kids. Like, there's just different. behavior playing out in the internet sphere with people in beef and stuff. And it all plays out like in the comments and the likes and stuff. I'll never understand it.

It's so weird. Anytime it's ever, I've ever dipped a toe into that kind of thing too. It's always never felt good ever. I've never, never do I go on and make comments and stuff. Is that fucking crazy. Yeah, I mean, we come from a generation that was like, don't read the comments because it was literally articles and a comment section. these people are just coming up with like their social life is taking place in the comments,

right? Like, I mean, so it's just just different. Even Selena Gomez, she's not a total kid zoomer, but she's like obviously of that generation. Well,

hitting is people try to say like mic dropy stuff, but it's like you're not in a public forum. You can't actually like drop a mic right now. You're in the safety of your house. Like everybody can do a mic dropy, make a mic dropy statement in the safety of their own. own home without feeling, like, it's not brave to do it. You know what I mean?

Because there's like no actual- But it is hashtag brave. Yeah, yeah. It is hashtag brave for sure. It is that. Yeah. And it is a public for him, right? I keep thinking about Billy Eilish, like, and the comment, like, that interview she

had with the person on the red carpet about, like, how she's queer. And the person, the interviewer was like, oh, did you mean to come out as queer? And then, like, Billy Eilish commented, like, kind of like a fuck you to the interviewer, like, a comment on the post. And it's like, just a totally different way of. And that's what makes me feel the oldest is like, wow, young celebrities just have a completely different way of using the internet. And then obviously young people as well, like all these.

Doja Cat. Yeah. I mean, I feel like the best examples was what was how Doja Cat played shit with her like stands or whatever. And was, which I actually was kind of impressed by, honestly, is for once it was someone just being like, fuck y'all. I'm not fucking doing shit. You know what I mean?

Just was like, whatever. You can say whatever the fuck. You don't own me. Like, I do whatever I want, and I kind of like that said of it, because a lot of times it's a lot of trying to upkeep on shit that's like you're trying to please too many people, you know. Right. I think that's a lot of where, God forbid, I say this out loud, but where T Swift is, I feel like sometimes errors a little bit. She gives people too much. Yeah, she's trying to please everyone.

She didn't want anyone to be mad at her. She's like altering music videos based on people complaining on fucking X and mocks about about, about, stuff in her music videos, right? And so she's like... I mean, I will say as a fellow people pleaser, I do understand the need and the want to do that. I think it's one of the most relatable things about her. Yes, the desire for everyone to like her.

To like... I get that. I mean, totally. Well, this is like the opposite of that. I'm loving this guy. This actually really goes in line with all of this stuff. I'm loving this guy for his antics lately on the red carpet and interviews. It isn't that often you get such an actor on a press tour.

making jokes about dogs and oral sex. Who's out there just kind of popping off on the red carpet lately? It's not Adam Driver, is it? Yes, it's Adam Driver. We had that. I was hoping we would get that article. We'll talk about it in the leftovers. But for now, I will at least say there is a video that accompanies this one.

And recently, we had that, we talked about it on this show, right? Where he was interviewed and someone asked him, they were like, I found the car crashes in Ferrari to be, like, I forgot how he described it, but it was very belittling. and very insulting his opinion on like something about the movie Adam Driver was being interviewed for by the press. And Adam Driver just responds to it. He's like, what do you think about that? And he's just like, I don't know, fuck you. And it just moves on and it's so awesome. It makes me love him 20 times more because here's the thing.

I have had to see, as someone that goes to the movies all the time, I have had to see the Ferrari trailer many times. and I'm sorry, a car movie, I couldn't give a shit. A race-y, I can't care. And I understand some people care very much, and I think that's great for them. It is just not me. And every time I'm like, Adam Driver, I am Faddy. I'm like, I'm sure he's great in it.

I'm not saying that he's not great, and Adam Driver's an amazing actor. But I can't care about a car movie. Me neither. Right. If there's a fast car in it, put me to sleep. Put me asleep. Y'all weren't, y'all weren't about that Days of Thunder life back in the day?

No. No. I liked, what is it, the love, you know, the bug that came to life from that one, sure. The Volkswagen. That one was kind of cute. Good God. Anyways, I got a little bit. I just glad I came clean.

I'll enjoy a fast or a furious, you know, but it's not. I love fast than the furies, but that's a different. That's a different. Barely about cars. I mean, that's family and Corona. That's about going to this outer space at this point. I mean, it's not even. Oh, my God, I love Fastenapier.

So good. That's not a car movie. That's a family. Yeah, that's the gateway that car movie. Yes. There's a link to a video of Adam Driver on the Red Carper with two Ferrari co-stars. And you hear him, he asks, you want to hear my favorite joke? I think one of the co-stars goes like, oh, no, I think I've heard this one before.

Like, he's just like torturing her with this joke. It goes as follows. How do you get a dog to stop pumping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick. He's just over it, dude. I love it. And then there's that whole, we'll talk about the leftovers,

that whole insulting interview about his looks, which we'll talk about. I do wonder if part of him was like, man, I hope that this strike lasts through the Ferrari bullshit I gotta do. I bet there were a lot of people

who hoped the strike would last through whatever press they were having to do and then like immediately be, you know, worked out because it's fucking annoying. Yeah. Yeah, and again, this is one of the most appealing things about Adam Driver.

Like, I like him, and I have come around to actually thirsting for him, which I didn't at first. But his, like, distaste for it all is one of the sexiest things about him. Yeah. Can you see? Yeah, I could see. Oh, welcome back. I'm looking at you guys, and I'm liking what I'm seeing.

That is wonderful. You're beautiful. Yeah, you're too beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, Jackie and MJ. Thank you, Monster Holley. Hollins opes. There you go. I'm feeling the spirit.

You get into the spirit. Put on Mr. Holland's opus. Speaking of another... Oh, don't... What energy? What do you want me to burst in tears? You're not allowed to sing it until your heart gets filled with it. Yeah.

It needs to be filled with it. And that's going to be filled on December 18th, Monday. December 18th, it's next Monday. Come hang out with us on Twitch. com. TV forward slash holdenators ho. 5 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can follow me on Jack. where I'm on Instagram because I put some shit up sometimes. Oh my God. I just recently put up this. Someone tagged me in Muppet Christmas Carol bloopers that I had never seen before. Oh, yeah. I was like, I've seen some before, but I hadn't seen these. So, you know, that's why you should follow me on Instagram.

You get these kind of good ducats. Love it. Holden. Check us out. We've got, first of all, page seven podcast at gmail.com. Those conspiracy theories so helpful. Appreciate everything you guys send over to me. Check me out.

Twitch.tv.4 slash Holdenaders Ho. I mean, it was already brought up. I think I'm going to be doing, I'm looking at doing like a 12-hour stream on Monday that ends, that culminates with the Muppet Christmas watch-along. So it's going to be a big ass day. Check us out on that. And every Friday with Jackie over on Twitch.

com forward slash Holdenators Ho. Got to pump the Patreon hard, man. Patreon.com, forward slash page 7 podcast. It's the way, it's the reason for the season, dude. And tis the damn. season. So you need to get over there. $5. Also, yes. $5 a month. You get so much bonus stuff. Jackie's book readings, The Leftovers, which we do right after the show. We have a ton of articles to talk about,

actually, that we didn't cover in the show proper. So, yeah, that's all happening over there on Patreon. So join us, patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. I think that's it for me. M.J. My name is M.J. And I'm MJK.K.L. Kat on Instagram. And actually, MJ, you've got something to push too, because on Friday, December 22nd and Friday, December 29th, MJ is going to be joining me for jacking with the MJs. Over on Twitch.tv.tv.tv. Oh, no, it's Jackie. So December 22nd, December 29th, MJ and I are going to be spinning some tunes,

hanging out, coming out with us at 3 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Yes. Hell yeah. Tis the damn season. Oh, how many times am I going to make you listen to when love is gone? How many times? As many times it takes to break the curse. Yeah, we've got to break the curse this year. I'll work on it. I understand that my heart is, you know, could use a few tweaks.

It could be fuller. Let's bust it open. Let's bust it. And let's sing the shout-out song. Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read them to you.

Come on. Oh, I was just sitting here singing. the shout-out song in my head and then what popped in there, it's time for the river day around up. I'm going to kiss them all. But Jackie, that show is dead. It's dead. And we're here to talk about the living. And by the living, I mean the shout-outs. Thank you guys so much for sending in your shout-outs to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. I love to hear from you. I love hearing about your love hearing about your successes. I love hearing about your trials and tribulations. guys so much and you can send in your own shoutouts to page seven podcast at gmail.com or heck send in whatever

you'd like we'd love to read it and maybe you'll be connected like jay did in their shout out maybe something we say is going to be like you know what it's time for me to send in a shout out jays says i've been wanting to write in for a little while but was too shy i knew i had to though when i heard you guys shout out our ridiculous hockey team the ottawa senators i honestly don't know why they're names that their logo is like an ancient Roman warrior? I could probably look up the origin, but I prefer the mystery. So do I, Jay. My partner, a bit of a hockey fan, insisted that I mentioned that Washington DC's NHL team is the Washington Capitals, so Canada isn't the only place with Boros-Sorro team names. Anywho, I just wanted to shout out me. Hell yeah, you did, Jay.

Feels weird, but I am very proud of where I'm at. I've gone from an exceedingly anxious kid and young adult, who was so all consumed with other people's opinions that she didn't know herself at all to a grown-ass weirdo with a circle of beautiful, equally weird friends, a loving and supportive partner, and a PhD, I'm finally getting to know myself and really liking who that person is. I'm still a work in progress and still working on the self-confidence and dealing with my anxiety, but I'm getting better every day. Just wanted to thank you guys. for all that you do in creating such a safe and positive space, please send my love to MJ and a big whatever to hold in J.K.,

you could have some love to. Listening to your podcast got me through some long days in the lab during my PhD. Oh my God, I hope that we get to see you someday, Jay. We'll come to Ottawa, baby. Thank you so much for sending in a self-shout. I know it's difficult to do, but I'm fucking proud of you, dude. Thank you. Moving on, it's time about Tracy's.

Shout out. This goes out to Tracy. Well, not to Tracy. from Tracy. Tracy says, I must give a shout out to my dear friend, Becca. We've spent many years listening and reviewing podcasts together, but only recently discovered we both been page seven listeners for years

and immediately fell more in love with each other. Becca is a haughty, as shown in the attached picture, what she is, respectfully. The blonde angel in the green flannel. Yes, we got matching flannel jackets on vacation. She creates amazing garden, designs and art, knows how to have a good time, carefully chooses who she spends her precious time with, I'm lucky to be one of them, and is vulnerable in growing herself to find what

feels best in her life. She is supportive of her family and is a true friend. If page seven goes on tour again, we will be front row, fangirling together, yes, there's no other person I'd want to accidentally hike into a meadow of poisoned oak with. And to page seven, thanks for always keeping pop culture hilarious, relevant, sometimes serious, and just a good drive to work, listen. Love Tracy, sending you so much love Tracy. Thank you so much. And I love your friendship. And I love your love of Becca. I love Becca, too. Send you both a million million kisses. Now, this next one isn't so much a shout-out as it is, I guess it is a, it's a movie shout-out. This comes in from Page. In light of the upcoming Muppets, Christmas Carol watch along to

December 18th, I beg, no, I implore you for your take on Muppet's Treasure Island. As a long-time stand of anything pirity, Muppet's Treasure Island is one of my faves, and I could easily recite it line for line. It's got Tim Curry, yes it does, Jim Hawkins, major crush alert for me, and we've got Cabin Fever! In my opinion, one of the three best Muppet movies, and I would love to hear your notes on this 1996 gem of a flick. Regards, and in the words of toiny, team go bless us everyone um p s michael canes ebeneezer is his best performance and that is the hill i will die on i am right there on that hill with you page dead right next to you and we're having a blast you know what just straight up from me love muppets treasure island and i was terrified

i had to pause because i had to look it up blind pew blind pew and it to me was the scariest Muppet of all time. This was at a time. This is 1996. You know, this is like, I'm already, like, I've already seen it. But Blind Pew scared me so much, and I always thought that he was going to come to my home. So Muppets Treasure Island was never on the top of my Muppets list. But I watched it not that long ago. Oh my God. And I loved it. And you are a completely correct page. Please, everybody, watch Muppets Treasure Island. But of course, come watch Muppets Christmas Carol with us, too. But we've got Cabin Fever is, I mean, I'm probably just called Cabin Fever, but that song is unbelievable.

And what about Billy Bones? All right. Yes, I'll watch again. Man, Muppets just so damn good. But that's, I'm sorry, I've got other shoutouts to do. I will jump back in. What am I doing Jackie's Book Club right now? Last but not least, we have a love shoutout coming in from Kristen.

Kristen says, I'd love to give a special 34th birthday shout out to my godsend of a boyfriend. His name is Bobby May. His birthday is on 1212, so synchronistic for this wizard of a man. Bobby has not missed any of the page 7 episodes in the last several years. He often sings to me a la Jackie and shares jokes from each episode making me feel better when I experience depression symptoms. Bobby has created his own DJ business, and in this brings the fun of vinyl records and positive energy to any venue he is present at, touching lives of families, spinning weddings, and sometimes even funerals. I just wanted to say that I'm so proud of my booby, my bojo, my Tommy pancakes, my Bobby May, and I love him so dearly. I hope this wish makes it to him via the page 17.

team. Happiest birthday, my sweet king. Oh my God, I love this love. And so much love to you, Bobby May. Hell yeah. Please, I'd love to find out. I'd love to push. Where do you DJ? We got to know where you DJ at. Because it sounds like I love that you're bringing vinyl and positive energy all over the place. Oh, I hope that your life is filled with magic. Happiest of birthdays to you, baby to you both and oh my god christin loves you so much you best hold on to that bitch yeah i said bitch but in a beautiful way i love you guys so much thank you thank you thank you for sending in your shoutouts i also quick sidebar shout out to alexa who said that cassian should be played by roman reins the wwee wrestler and um i've not heard of this person before but hachimachi if you're a fan

of akatar and also uh want to look up the picture of roman raines I agree with you. He should play Gassian. I would watch any tape that he was in. Anyway, thank you guys so much for joining me on the shoutouts, and I'll be back next week. I love you so much. Be good to yourself.

Be good to others. We'll get through this holiday season. Love you. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, Go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.