Page 7 - Ep. 519: SWINGBAITERS

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

This week Hard Clappin' Holden is joined by Jackie and MJ as they discuss Holden's future downfall at the hands of nearby burgers, You Are What You Eat nearly scares Jackie away from almost all red meat, Jackie faces the allegation that her and Geoff are SWINGBAITERS, Holden's nemesis takes time away from licking doughnuts (WE HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN) lets everyone know she's REALLY into SpongeBob, Sofia Vergara does NOT put up with an interviewer making fun of her accent, some old fashioned Page 7 90 Day Talk, MJ gets into The Godfather, THE Mean Girls Musical actress Renee Rapp is letting it rip on press tour (btw FUCK YOU BUDDY), Mia Goth gets sued by an extra for abuse and it's mixed on if she could do it, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Did Sir Ian McKellen hook up with the bassist from My Chemical Romance in 2004?!?, a list of SECRET MuSiC fAcTsSsSsSs, a blind FIRST and SHOUT OUUUUTS!!!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You clap so hard you hurt your hands. It's like chilly in here or whatever. It's like not that cold in here. That you hurt your own hands? What do you, Nicole Kidman? I don't know. Or clapping like an alien? Sometimes sadness feels good in a place like this.

I'm beautiful in my way because God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track, baby. I was born this way. Don't hide yourself and regret. Just love yourself and you said, I'm on the right track, baby. I was born this way. Holden, you were upset this morning because I picked him up for the show, and he's like, oh, you listen.

Oh, I'm a daddy. I'm a daddy. I'm a daddy. Daddy. Daddy. He'll hear fun music early in the morning. All I said was, are you testing out the speakers with this song? Yeah, because I roll up.

I had just listened to Born this way what had come on afterwards because it is my Big Bear Burebitch's playlist. Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo. And he's a way-o. Way-o. And if you forget, The song, boom, boom, boom, the only thing that happens in the song for the most part is, boom, boom, let me say wayo, wayo, wayo. And I do genuinely listen to that song.

Well, the problem is the singer's partially deaf, and so he's never able to hear anyone say wayo, so that's why he keeps repeating it. Oh, yeah, he was supposed to have a bunch more lyrics to the song, and apparently as the story goes, but he could never get past that first part because he could never hear someone go way out. Mayo. Sometimes I say mayo. Let me say say mayo. Mayo.

I would love that. I would love that. Well, I mean, I'm fine with that. As long as you don't bring Chup into the conversation, I'm fine with it. I lied. So many burgers this past week. It's insane, dude. A shake shack opened up right, a block away from me.

You shouldn't. Goodbye, Hold on. Oh, God, between the, you're nice knowing. Yeah, your five guys and your shake shack. What are you going to do? At least there's not like an in, if an in-and-out starts being constructed, like, on the other side of my streeters, I'll be like, like, all right, guys, come on.

Release me from this hell. I know. It's great. Shake Shack, okay, here's my review. Shake Shack. I think is not as enjoyable to slurb on as five guys. There's a ghost in my house. There's a ghost in my house.

I will say this. I don't feel as dog shitty. After I eat five guys, I have to take a shit and a nap immediately. No question. Right? Whereas with Shake Shack, I didn't feel like a complete. dog shit and it was a little bit cheaper but I would say my indulgences

are more fulfilled at five guys wow this is really good to know I've been begging here yeah I'm like candy paste you might as well just grind the burger into a paste and have me slurp it because that's like how it's eaten this it just sucks it sounds like you need to you know

I yes I am one of those people and you're about to hear what oh what kind of those people is it like oh a spirited woman No, I watched one food documentary and now I'm scared of eating red meat. And I think you need to watch. You are what you eat the twin experiment. Girl, I'm O negative. My body is trained to eat red meat.

I know. I'm also O negative and it begs for it. Yeah, I'm scared. My biology wants it. So I don't kiss her. I don't know. I just learned. I'm not even going to tell you what I learned from it.

I know. I'm not even going to tell you because I'm not going to, no, I don't get, I don't honestly. You don't care about the suffering of the cows? It's not up there. It's not up there for me. I know that it's bad. But let's, it's not like the first thing I think.

I'm being honest here. Yeah, be honest. This is a confession. It is not the first thing I think about. Yeah, Jackie hates animals. No, that is not true. I do not hate animals. At gmail.com.

I love animals. Attention, Jackie, animal hater. I, in my head, I'm like, yeah, but I buy the nice meat. Uh-huh. So I'm like, but I buy the nice feet. You buy the fiends. You got the cubs get the malleys every week. The hooves get the paint on it.

They get to choose the color at the end. But that's just not the case. They get the spa. They get massage. Turns out they're not getting spa days. Yeah, yeah. Over at the farms that they're being shoved into. Hey, it's just I'm having difficulties and I'm trying to look at what I'm putting in my

body, I guess, because I watched one food document. This is why I would just say this. Don't watch, instead of staying away from red meat, stay away from food documentary. Yeah. Because I think that every person in their, I'm going to say in their 30s for, like I think from here on out, you watch one and you're like, ooh. Yeah. But the documentary said. Yeah.

And I've fallen into the track. But didn't you do this? I was going to say, didn't you both do this with a sugar documentary? Well, well, for me, I watched one about sugar, but it was so, it was like, it was like annoying. And the narrator was annoying. so it kind of helped. Okay. So I didn't care as much about how bad sugar is.

You are what you eat. It was very, like, it was not what I expected because it's all about, it starts off, which is very interesting to me. They take identical twins and they give one a healthy omnivore diet and they give the other one a healthy vegan diet. And they like do all of these experiments because it is the first large format identical twins experiment specifically on like their sex drive on their like on. like on everything how what they eat affects them.

And I was so interesting. Like the idea, I mean, I know that I've brought up twin love before. I love just the idea of twins and I love experimenting on it. Not like a mangola. I'm saying just only in like a recipe type way. I just find it fascinating. Yeah. Not res.

We're not eating them either, MJ. No, I know. Not Mengala. Not in a mengle way. I got you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So what, one ended up, like, depressed and the other one was, like, fine or what had? You was just very, I mean, you're going to have to watch it to find out. Well, I guess we're just talking. I'm not going to watch it. What happens to the toys? Well, I mean, obviously, but it's what's cool, it's not like, and then you eat the shit burgers. It's like, no, they had a healthy, it was a healthy omnivore. And what did he blow his brains out or what happened?

It was just about the different kinds of fat and where it's never got hard again. Man, vegan diet, more of a plant-based diet. in all of them, their blood flow, like their sexuality blood flow went up over 350%. Fucking horny vegans. They're only-me-themed, apparently plant-based, like, it really gets your dick hard and your pussy's juice in. And that for me, even that, I'm excited about it. I was like, okay, I'll eat more plant-based.

Sounds fatiguing to me. Oh, yeah. Oh, what? Do parents not have enough time to make it? Time to make fucks? To always be like, oh, it's bursting out of my jeans. Ow! Like to go back to middle school.

I don't want to go back to middle school horniness, Jackie. I can't do it. It was too, it was painful. I think that was painful. It was painful. I would take that. Yeah, and it's not only so much about your horniness. It's about your blood flow, so it's about how fast, like, your dick gets hard and how

much your pussy gets juice. I love the idea of my dick, like, slowly inflating, like a balloon, like, you know what I mean? Just slowly. You're telling you, that's not what. And then your identical twin brother sitting next to you. Also. And their timing how hard, how quickly your twin brother gets hard.

Yeah, yeah. We sucked each other's dicks last night. And Jerry got way harder, way slower than I got hard. It was interesting as they all talked about what kind of porn that they were watching and stuff like that. Like the twins would talk about it. Oh man, now I'm getting interested. Ah. That's just, wait, what was Fatty McFad's porn that he was watching?

There were no Fatty McFat Fats. Or the omnivore. Oh, well, it just, I mean, every twit, like, it was just interesting how, like, the twins would like the same porn. Oh, okay, okay. I thought their, diet was making them eat different porn. I mean, watch different porn. Man, they're eating the porn. They're eating the porn.

They're like, then they're too hungry. You should give more food. Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, that horny vegans eating a porno sandwich over there. He's got dicks and tits in his sandwich. I think this is all coming from the fact that, yes, another Jackie confession. Usually you only get Jackie Convessions. I will say there are a lot of jacking.

Jackie Confessions over on Jackie's book club, over on the Patreon. There are many a confession almost every single week. Patreon.com. slash page seven podcast. I'm intrigued by my many, the thoughts that go through my brain. Um,

because Jeff and I were referred to during Jackin on Friday as swing baiters. And I, I love this. I am, I wonder if you guys also feel this way about us because chat was saying, yes. That Jeff and I, no hesitation.

I will say yes. We give off. swing we are swing baiters because we give off swinging vibes. Not to me at parties I go to with you guys because we all have our like big family hangouts that we have with LPN and everything so it's always that vibe

but yes because you guys are starting to like have a new friend group and go to these new parties with new people that is when you are total swing baiters because you're both like all over each other and so happy and you love everybody's vibe and you keep walking up to people and going like my husband I noticed you from across

room we love your vibe. We don't Yes, that's the thing. Okay, it's not only that they, like, love each other so much and are very physically affectionate and, like, sexy with each other all the time. Also, they're both really well dressed. Like, all, like, they're always, like, very, like, like, presentable, you know? Like, they both, like, look great. So you add that to their, like, you know, visible lust for each other. And both of them are really outgoing and, like, kind and generous in conversation.

So it's like, it's not hard to talk to you and not hard for me to imagine someone talking to you and being like, are they flirting with me? Just because you're like so giving, not in like a tease way, but in just like a, you know, you're both very, you take the energy. You know how some people you have to give a lot of energy to make a conversation go? And then others you can kind of sit back and be like, they're driving this car. you guys are driving the car and you're asking people to get in and fuck you. And especially the part where whenever you guys do show up at a house you've never been to, you bring a sign called fuck room and you tape it to one of the doors. One of the doors.

Oh, yeah. And establish a fuck room. I think that makes you guys sweet-baders. Especially if it's the only bathroom of the house. We do usually designate it as the fuck room and then sorry. Sorry, you got to go in there at some point. You got to get tickled at some point. It's sticky in there.

I really at first I was taken aback and I was like offended I was like I don't think that we're like because I thought that it was like in a bad way where like we're doing it on purpose and I'm like because we're not trying to but if as long as it is known as like we're not trying to be swing baiters I think I'm fine with it. Yeah no it's just your generosity. Thank you. I don't even think you exude a sexual generosity but I can understand. But I just like get in the car and there's just some weird chick in the back seat and it's like, why are you in here? It's like, oh, I thought, I didn't know. And it just jumps out of the car.

Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of that going on. And then all of a sudden she's in our bed. Right. Just like, oh, God, how did you get here? Yeah, you guys break out some snacks, some toys, you know. Yeah. I'm on the right track, baby.

I was born this way. Yes, Anne. Is that why you were listening to Born this way? Because you were so much as a yes and. Yes, and. It's that interesting. My nemesis dropped a single, and everyone is the squawk of the talk about it. Isn't that fucking fascinating?

It is the squawk of the talk. Yes, and is the name of Ariana Grande's new song. And yes, and it is boring. Yeah, I could sleep. You guys could sleep. I do love how much she's just a villain. And I think that that's very fun because the whole song's just like, yeah, I ruined this woman's life in her infant child.

By the way, let me get ahead of this. Obviously, she wasn't the, like, perpetrator solely of the thing and SpongeBob's really the true culprit here, okay, down in his pineapple seal house or whatever it is. You know, I just like it. Yeah, we're big sponge bobbers. The fact that, like, there's posts on Reddit, like, what's the biggest controversy in pop culture this year?

And one of the top entries is, Arenda? Grand and SpongeBob is the fun. Like to explain that to me a full year ago would have maybe cracked the fuck up. Yes. You know, but I will say the only thing I can think about listening to that song is the one, is just this one person's reaction, what that must have been when they actually heard the song. And maybe they're ignoring the song. Maybe they're...

The lady with the baby. Yeah. The woman SpongeBob left with the infant child to be with Ariana Grande. Yeah, to fully solo parent. Who knows? Maybe they have a really good situation with shared custody. It's hard for me to believe because raising an infant is such a 24-7 activity that is so intense. But these are rich people.

You know what I mean? Hopefully she's got plenty of, like, a night nurse and all this. I don't know if the wife of the guy playing SpongeBob on Broadway is necessarily rich. But we'll tell him. And then also he's in Wicked and having a movie career. I think, and honestly, I'm sure he made a fucking dime playing SpongeBob on Broadway. Yeah, but did she sign the preno? Did she sign the preno?

And now they're making babies sign it. You gotta get in there. I'm glad that Holden hates Ariana because I do feel like you're right that we shouldn't put all the blame at her. Like, obviously this was a choice that SpongeBob made and SpongeBob made his bed and he has to lie in it. But I also, like, I have noticed on reality shows now that we have gone such in a direction. And ultimately, I think it's a very good direction that, like, obviously somewhere all reality show producers had a meeting where they were like, listen, instead of getting all the bitches to be mad at each other and call each other bitches, get all the bitches to be mad at men and call the men dicks. And then it's anti-feminist to have the bitches calling each other bitches. You need the bitches united against the man.

And so now- Or even better call the men bitches. Yeah, because, you know, and also, I will say, I have never lost the term bitches from my mouth. I love calling my friends my bitches. I love using bitches in a positive way. I've never taken it out of my mouth. Yeah, I love. I like the serving cunt is now. I love serving cunt.

I love it. I love it. And like, yeah, and bitches has gone from something where I, right. Even when we started page seven, I was like still not totally comfortable using bitches because it had been so ingrained in me. This is a word that has been used by other people to hurt women. Against us. And now it has been so fully reclaimed that I think even like,

cishead straight men can call women bitches and it's fine somehow? And I think that that's great. Yeah, hey bitches. Yeah, exactly. I love it. Honestly, when Holden calls me a bitch because I'm just like, yeah, yes and. That's my yes. It's all about being a bitch.

I love being a bitch. Yes, and I'm a bitch. And I'm just say I'm glad that reality has moved towards women unite to hate the man. That's fine. But also sometimes women are bitches. And sometimes it's okay to hate them. It's not inherently sexist to be like, this woman did something bitchy. Yeah.

You know, sometimes that happens. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes it goes down there. And also, I'm not hating on Ariana's song just to hate on it. I like some of her. Like, I think Thank You Next is catchy. I love that. Santa, the Santa, Santa, Tammy.

Like, I'm not saying I'm anti, I am not anti-Ariana. I do. And everyone is saying that this song is evoking Madonna's vogue. Like, all right, sure, sure. I feel like that is a line that was put out by your PR because it is completely everywhere where I'm just like, all right, you didn't come up with that on your own.

And also, it's fine. It's more just like, stay out of my business. What are you talking about? You're one of the biggest bobs stars of the world. Let me be evil. People aren't going to stay out of your business, especially when you are cheating on a wife with a child. People aren't going to be quiet about it.

By the way, I would have a... It's good Gus! I'm sorry, it's good Gus! And I would have a very different opinion about this if this wasn't a complete track record at this point for her. It's if you look at the whole history. And she licked the damn donuts. Look at her whole history.

She's either the cheater or the... You know what I mean? She's always cheating on someone or being the... Aide or a better... The other woman. The other woman or whatever, right? Yeah. Like every relationship.

Yeah. So to be like, just to ignore that part of my whole personality is like, no, no. I mean, I'm not going to sit here and condemn you for it because also I'm not going to sit here and be like, I know everything from afar. I think we've learned a lot of lessons about that, you know, honestly, in the last year. Like, like, I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh, I know exactly how she's being evil and how this all went down, right? But I can't just sit here and be like, do you, you, girl, go girl. Right. That's not a go girl moment. It's like, ruin that infant's life. Right. It was, we do not have to hand it to her, you know?

Like, we don't have to. Yeah, I don't have to hand it to her. Yeah. It's fun that she made this like, well, I don't fucking care song in a way. Because it's like,

yeah, own it, I guess. Yeah. I like she's, I personally would rather you honestly embrace being the villain. I think that's what it is.

Like, honestly, I love the idea of becoming evil then, like, go for it. Yeah. And that's what she's doing. We love Tay's whole reputation thing.

You know, Like, I like the idea of being the evil one, but then do it. But then you don't have to let, I don't have to be like, I owe you an, like, I mean, people are idiots on Twitter, but like people being like, we owe her an apology. It's like, no, we don't. She's like doubling down on her stance that she doesn't give a fuck, bro, which I guess I'm gonna, I'd be more into than her trying to act like. So obviously you give a fuck if you're saying how much you don't give a fuck. Right. Like that's all, go on.

Yeah, yeah. Right. That's exactly. Just be petty. Like, that's fine. It's fun. We can still be bitchy and petty sometimes. Like, you don't, like, just embrace it. She literally has a song called, she literally has a song with the lyrics break up with your boyfriend because I'm bored. Yeah. And also, it's a bop. I'll give it to it. It gets stuck in my head all the time. Is she an evil character in Wicked? I'm not familiar enough with Wicked. No, I believe she's playing Glinda. She's playing like the good. Oh, that sucks. I'm fairly sure. It would have been a cooler turn for her if she was the evil character in the movie, too, right?

Because I think she should just full villain era. She always kind of has been. You can kind of tell. Yeah, she should just be like, like, Crewella. Yeah, just be, I'm just like, yep, I'm evil. I'm fucking. Skin the puppies, Ariana. Yeah.

We know the next step. She's going to start wearing dog skin. It's just so funny, too, because, like, we're so concerned about this wife and child. And her line is like, why do you give me? the fuck whose dick I ride. And I'm like, it's not about riding dicks, bro. It's about this woman and her poor baby. You fucking cretan. I don't know how to say my relationship is so conflicted because like she's my nemesis. You know what I mean? Hold nitter's own. You know you stole it. But at the same time, like, you know what I mean? I kind of embrace it. I love that we need

nemesis in this world. We need villains. You know, if everybody's just like, I mean, one of the things I, in fact, one of the things I almost kind of resent Tay for a little bit, or not resent, but one of the, I think the worst things about her is how hard she tries to be perfect to please everybody, you know? Like, I'd say that's like my biggest criticism of her is like, girl, you do not have to bend over so hard backwards to be this like perfect person that does no wrong and does everything right. And if you've offend anyone, you like figure it out, you know, I feel like with the Maddie Healy thing, she should have been like, yeah, fuck it. I'm getting that rock. start dick and I'm moving on. Yeah, she's honestly, it's just times like this that like I love stories where someone does pop off like a Sophia Vergaara, which I loved this, her reaction in this interview that this interview went viral because Sophia Vergara was talking about modern family and she, like, there was just a hitch. She said how you say cucumber. She didn't. How you say cucumber it. Like she is not a hilaria here.

but essentially the interviewer tried to make fun of her accent, and she just fucking clapped back immediately. And it wasn't even like, it was in this like such a beautiful way of like, oh, I'm sorry, how many Emmys do you have? Yeah. How many Golden Globes do you have? Like, it's just like, because you could tell the guy was kind of making fun of her. I was so confused by this whole situation because I saw the headline,

but I didn't watch the video until you sent it over. And I was like, oh, right, I should actually watch the video. He doesn't speak English. Yeah. I'm so confused. Why is a guy who doesn't speak English, shitting on her way of saying an English title of a show? Oh, yeah. I don't know.

It was like, what are you talking about? I think he was making fun of specifically, like, her, like, Spanish accent, like, her regional accent, I imagine. Oh, okay. Because I was, like, how are you going to make fun of somebody saying something in English not the right way when, like, you don't speak English? that's so weird. Well, that's what she says. I say it wrong. Oh, because you speak English better than me?

Yeah. I was just so confused why the whole thing is I just assumed when I read the headline that the guy spoke English and was an annoying American guy that was making fun of her accent. Not that it was a fully Spanish speaking man, making fun of the way she speaks English. Like, the whole bilingual thing is so crazy to me because it's like, yes. Like, I hate that especially a lot of American people cannot get it into their head that they're actually. smarter than you if they're able to speak multiple languages. So much smarter than you. They don't sound smart when

they're speaking English because like they're speaking a whole ass other fucking language, bro. And they usually know multiple other languages and it's so insane. I think like few things piss me off more than especially dumb fuck Americans that are like

oh they're speaking in broken English. I'm like, oh because they speak multiple languages. Yeah, they are smarter than you. In that way they are smarter than you. In that way they are smarter than you. They are smarter than you. you because they you can you speak another language and yes i feel like that's why everybody i wish i could scoop up all these people who never leave their hometown and make them like travel like europe for a fucking year right because then they would come home and just like not be like this you know what i mean

or even a week go anywhere else and notice how like so many of the people can speak your language and you've never even thought about speaking their language and how hard of a time you have in their country and how cool they are about it. You know what I mean? But instead it's all these people who never leave their little town, you know, that thinks someone's an idiot because of the way they're speaking English, but it's

because they're fucking brilliant. It tries to be crazy watching 90-day fiancé sometimes. Right. I'm just like, you're the dumb one. Like, especially, like, I think that's why I love watching 90-day fiancee the other way. Yes. Because that's when Americans go to move into other countries

and you really see just how much, like, oh, it's different. I can't do. It's like, yeah, you move to a different country. You need to learn a different culture and a different society. Grow up. Yeah, just don't follow Paul and Corini on social media because it will make you upset. I follow so many of them on social media.

Yeah, I know. You guys in your 90 day. It's like a whole, it's like an aspect of the multiverse I just haven't entered. It's because it is such a cinematic universe of, I'm trapped. Just endless. I can't get out of it. Yeah. I don't know how to stop.

I watch all the spinoffs. And like, to a point that we don't even talk about it on any of the shows. Oh, yeah. And I'm still watching them. Same. I'm definitely catching up on the most recent 90-day episode. Yeah. Yeah.

Still. I mean, this new 90-day season is pretty good. It's a good one. It's a pretty good season. Well, half the cast is Boros-Norro, but the other half is solid. The problem is that the other, the part that's Boros-Norro, I love, because I watch it by myself, I make fun of them aloud to myself. Right.

And smile. Because they talk like this. I have a real, I used to talk about this when I would go on dating apps. And this was before a time when like people included like videos in their, on their dating apps and stuff. I'm really big into voices. Yes. I'm very big into vocal quality.

And I need to hear a person's voice to know if I'm going to be attracted to them or not. And I, there's something, and I think it's because I listen to. to myself speak all the time and have to edit things that I speak all the time. You have a sultry voice. But I also took, it took me a long time to like my voice, though. And so I understand people that are like, her voice is so grating.

I get it. My voice isn't for everybody. But some of their voice. If you're saying about people being annoyed by a voice. I think I know what you're talking about. Man, people just despise the sound of my voice. And I understand why people hate my voice. Because, again, I get it.

It's a surprising voice. I don't know why it sounds like. like that either. The Holman has a perfectly normal voice. I don't understand why people. Hold just sounds like a... You both do. A hole just sounds like a person to me.

Grimlin man. You know what he says is awful, but the tamper of his voice doesn't bother me, you know? Well, I did get my voice retampered last year. Oh, yeah. There's a big investment. You got to tamp it down. You're just like Jasmine. Did you also get it put into your ass as well?

Yeah, and I didn't tell Lexi about it. Nodier fiancé. No, no, fiancé. Gene, though. Jeanne. I want my family to be at my wedding, Jasmine. Oh, man. No, only me.

I'm the only one who be at your wedding. MJ, Jasmine moved to, like, Michigan, middle of nowhere, Michigan. And I, I, from Panama. From Panama. She loves Panama. Guess what she hates. Michigan. She moved there in the winter, and she's like, does the sun ever come out?

Oh, no. Does it happen to do you? Take a shit on Lini in the woods and a Mimini. It was a little bit of a Gucci there. We had a little bit, touch of Gouche in there. I was thinking a lot about House of Gucci and you guys have your impressions of it because Gideon and I spent the last three nights watching The Godfather and the Godfather too. Oh my God. Wait, is it your first time?

It's first time like since we were young, young. I think it's Mike Gideon's first time and I think I saw it when I was like 10, but I was like, I don't understand what I'm seeing. So it's kind of like our really... How good is it? It's so funny being adults watching The Godfather and being like, this is really good. This is a really good movie. It's a reason why everybody I've ever met talks to me about...

That's why everybody likes it. Why is that conjuring? Why is that serving House of Gooch? Yeah. Because that's an opposite. House of Gucci is the opposite of that. I think that's why I was like, House of Gucci was kind of like trying to tell this epic tale of an Italian, you know,

like a dynasty. Like a family. affluent family and it has all those trappings it's like really long it's epic it's like this whole family intertwining but it is just such hot dog shit you guys should watch out Housaguchi next

don't watch Godfather 3 because you might as well that might as well be Houssaguchi but watch Houssaguchi next just to compare and contrast because it is like there is stuff in that movie there's like scene transitions

that are baffling that people refer to still to this day there's one part where what's his puts? Shitalini in the Woods Latini. He goes like, ah!

Jared Letto. Cuts to like a, like a car pulling up at a restaurant. It's like the weirdest. I kind of want to watch it again. I want to watch it again. I think that we should do a group watch.

We should do a group watch. We could do like, yeah, if we need to break it up because I might need to break it up. That movie's so long. It's real long. We can break up to a couple of different sittings and do a two-parter.

I think that that is, I think that's a great idea. Yeah. You know, speaking of movies that we watched this week. I mean, I certainly wouldn't compare to the Godfather, but I did go see Mean Girls the musical over the weekend. How was it? Very intrigued by it. And I am so surprised because we got into a conversation afterwards. We were with a couple of people that weren't aware that it was a musical. Because in the trailer, they don't really show that it's a musical. But they kind of did the same thing with Wonka

and, like, to a lesser extent, because I re-watched both the Wonka trailer and, the color purple trailer. They definitely, like, it seems more of a musical with the color purple, but I am so surprised how these movie houses are pitching these musical movies almost pretending like they're not musicals. And I guess it's to get more people in the seats, but like, I, I'm, then why are you making them? I hate musical erasure.

This is dumb. I, I, it's, this blew my mind. Yeah, this is so silly. My question for mean girls is this. How hot is Renee rap? Swing, swing, swing. I looked it up. She's 25.

I could say it. I looked it up. 25, I could say it. Songs per minute, like, general. A real musical. It was a real musical. It's very much musical. It is very much a musical.

There's a lot. I mean, there's still scenes. Sometimes you go see a movie. Like, I was surprised, let's see. I think even it was like Milan. I finally watched Milan. And I was like kind of surprised at how few songs there were. in the movie. No, there is a good amount of songs, and it was really cute. I am not, I,

Mean Girls came out around the time when I was, like, I watched it and I really liked it, but I was pretending like I didn't really like it. Like, it was like that time. Same, I'm right there with you. Yeah. Same, exact same. Yes. It was our hater era, and we couldn't admit that it was just like a fun movie. Yes. And so I didn't watch it a million times, but like I'm very familiar with it. And really, Renee Rapp did an amazing job as Regina George because she's so, I did. I looked over at Jeff. The movie ended. I looked over at Jeff and I was like, did you know Renee Rapp was so tall and thick? Can we swing her bait? Renee Rapp. Can we swing bait? Renee Rapp. Can we please? I'd love to swing bait. Renee Rapp. And this interview she does was probably one of the highlights of the articles this week, Jackie. Her talking, just jumping off this because, all right. So you're not familiar with Renee Rapp. She is a, she's a pop artist.

And so not necessarily a, she hasn't gone through the media house wheel of fortune of learning all of the interview skills, which makes, or she has and she doesn't give a fuck. Right. And she's in this like very bog standard, eye-roly in a way, like press. You know, they have to do those just,

interview after interview. The junkets, yeah. They're clearly, like, doing that with, like, a bunch of different... And they're always, like, the most bullshit, like, entertainment rags, essentially, right? Yeah. It's just so fluff PC and whatever. And she just goes off on this, like... This, like...

What was it, a bus driver for, like, a... Buddy. Buddy. She says, there's a man who owns a bus touring company. His name is Buddy, and he's such an asshole. He was so disrespectful to my friends, Priscilla and Bella, who I work with, and to my mother. If you're watching this, Buddy, I can't stand you.

And I hope your business burns. You're so disrespectful and so misogynistic. I hate you. Fuck you, buddy. Wow. Awesome. So, yeah, she's just completely off the cuff and wild. And, like, it just comes off as so genuine and hilarious.

And yeah, fuck Buddy, man. That guy sounds like a real jerk. Apparently, fuck Buddy. I really did enjoy Mean Girls to Musical, though. So, yeah, I'm surprised. I want to hear about it, Jackie. because I thought that the whole, I think like many millennials,

I have a question like, why? Why do this again? But then I realized, well, this is much like high school musical, Mean Girls just became its own thing. And it's like it has obviously like 20 years of references to it and everybody celebrates October 3rd and it's a whole thing. To bring back Ariana Grande, she parodied it in a music video,

which was like a huge hit for her. I think that was that seven rings? I mean, the page seven logo. Yeah. It obviously has shaped a generation, right? And so at first, I had a kind of very crotchety old millennial reaction of being like, why, what's already been done? And then I was like, what am I talking about?

All of culture right now is just a dialogue with what has been done. How can we mix it up a little bit and do it kind of differently? And so I embrace the new mean girls. But I'm also confused by people who didn't know it was a musical because I thought that was like the point of doing it again. But maybe people missed that. I also thought that was the point of doing Wonka. But then I was surprised.

But maybe people missed that memo. Because like specifically during the mean, this goes to show I go to the movies too often. The Mean Girls trailer has Olivia Rodriguez's, um, uh, I want sweet revenge and I want him again. I want to get him back. And so in my head, I was like, oh, does Olivia Rodrigo, did she do any of the music with Mean Girls and Musical? or is her music incorporated in it? The answer was no and no.

And I don't know why, because I was not familiar with the musical. So going into it, I was like, then why didn't they include the music from the musical in the trailer? Right. And I guess it is literally just for PR, just to get people, because, I mean, it does get Olivia Rodriguez's song stuck in my head,

and it did make me think about the Mean Girls trailer. So I guess that's what it was? I just, it's, So it just sends the message. We're embarrassed about musicals and we're ashamed of musicals. And you're embarrassed about your prime audience, right? Which is like queer people who love musical. Yeah.

I actually feel like it's a weird, just know your audience. Like, if you're trying to get Gen Z people to come and watch the movies, like, they also, I think, are fine with musicals. But like, because, you know, they're just, I don't know, it just seems like a weird thing to be like, well, musicals really shut the door on people. It's like, girl, who, what are you trying to do here? the only people who want to see a mean girl's remake are the same people who want to see a musical. So here's a little thought. Why these circles not overlap? The social media person in this article was talking about how Barbie is the mark to hit right now in terms of marketing, right?

Sure. And they use the word ubiquitous, right? ubiquitous because, like, you could not turn a corner without seeing a Barbie sign, a Barbie thing on social media. And I'll say this about Barbie. did I even know there was going to be musical numbers in Barbie going in? I do not think I did. It was like a surprise. I will say in that way it was kind of like purposely a surprise.

But it wasn't mostly a musical. It was not mostly a musical. But there's like major, there's like a major musical number in it and multiple music moments in it. Right. And they didn't get that off at all. And everybody loved it. That was extremely successful. Why are you afraid of musicals?

But I think for them it's like if they had advertised, if they had advertised, if they made it look like it was a musical, which they super did not, then I wonder if the people and the social media thing are thinking like, that's what would have turned people away. And I think, I will say this, they know something we don't know, obviously. Of course. They punch the numbers and seen marketing campaigns where if it was marketed very much as a musical, it got less butts in seats. I mean, can we talk about cats?

Yeah. I just think specifically with mean girls. Everyone's afraid of being the cats. I think everyone's afraid of being cats. I mean, maybe I'm wrong about Wonka because that has a more, you know, everybody saw Willie Wonka in the Chocolate Factory. Everybody saw Charlie the Chocolate Factory. So like maybe that has a more wide, you're trying to just cast a wide net and you're just trying to make it a big fucking family film that everybody wants to go see or whatever. Right.

But like, I just feel like specifically with Mean Girls, part of what has kept Mean Girls alive is queer millennials, right? I feel like that's the, it just seems like it is, there's a specific. niche there, especially if you are doing if it is a reimagining of the musical. It just seems like it's like it seems like that kind of hating your target audience to me. Here's the other thing. Here's the other thing about it.

I think people would actually be more like, oh, that makes more sense about a musical than a remake, than a useless remake. Right. Because at least it's different. I think a lot of people actually get more annoyed and eye-roly at needless remakes than they do at a musical version of a thing.

Especially when they do shot for shot. When it is just literally a remake where I'm like, why am I? Why are we doing that? Or it's a remake, but like the cast is all, you know, a different deal, you know what I mean? Or whatever. Like they're all younger or they're all, you know what I mean? So. Trying a new story.

Yeah. You can't sell a new story. And that is also what the issue is. It's what people are looking for is the, it's the reminiscent game, I feel like. Except for that T. That T.S.ry and it's true. That fucking was incredible. God, how cute was that move?

So good. He did such a good job with it. And you could tell he loved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles too. Talking about South Rogen, by the way. And this Mean Girls of Musical is getting a lot of hate online. Really? But also, like, I feel like it is one or the other. People are either loving it or they're hating it. Right.

And I didn't realize that until, like, I took to TikTok. I took to TikTok. I took to the TikToks. And a lot of people are hating on it. but I think it's also just fun to hate on what everybody likes, obviously. You know, everyone loves to do that. We were just talking about it. I think it's easy stuff to hate, you know what you mean?

I like a lot of hateable things. I like T-Swift. I like musicals. Like right now I'm probably in my most opposite hater phase of my life. Like, I'm on, like the only thing I hate is Ariana Grande. Yeah, I'm the anti-hater. The only thing I hate on is Ariana Grande and, like relish on a taco.

I think there's like the only two things I can. Yeah, I could see that. Well, do you hate what Mia Gauth did? Now, I'm low-key and high-key, obsessed with Mia Gauth. I think that anyone that loves horror movies currently is. She is definitely like an amazing horror-it girl right now. Yeah. And this story that came out about her, I was asking Jeff about it because I was like,

what is your take on it? because this story came out. Now, Mia Gath, who is an amazing performer, I love watching her work. She is married to Shailabuff. And a story just came out that she was on set. And, you know, long story short, a man was an extra and he was on the ground and he was covered in like gunk and fake blood and he had to lay there dead for several hours. and apparently at some point

she on purpose kicked him in the head as she was walking by and then apparently later on went back to him and was like essentially being like if you fucking tell anybody what happened that I did this I'm gonna fucking come after you

all allegedly all allegedly all allegedly all allegedly but then the dude got fired from set a couple of days later and now he's suing Mia Gauth. It's all alleged. I have no, like, we're never going to know probably what really happened here. But, like, she does seem, and I'm saying this as someone that really loves her performance,

she seems like she could be genuinely crazy. Sure. She could be. I have no idea. Is that a way then to, you know, kind of capitalize on that? I have no idea. I hate, because I don't want, you never want to get into, like, victim-blamey territory, but you wonder how accurate the events are

or how played up things are just because you know, you need that lawsuit fuel, you know what I mean? But who fucking... I mean, I wouldn't put a pastor to be like that. I mean, I don't know. She seems fucking bonkers. I mean, what's wild is, right,

there's, like, no alternate, like, theory of the case here that this could have been, like, justified in any way. It would, like, only be something that a psychopath would do, you know? But... With her, just the movies she makes and stuff like that, I would like, and the fact that she's married to Shia La Puffe, who's like classically a fucking maniac, I wouldn't put her super past her, you know?

Right. But that's why, like, I don't know what to judge. Like, I feel like I'm like, well, I'm judging her too easily because of the performances she usually puts out. But also, I don't know. Maybe she's so good at acting so crazy because she really is gross. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what.

I've never seen her in, maybe I have and I just don't remember but I really don't remember ever seeing her doing anything like this in the blinds. This is one... I've never read anything negative about her ever. This is one isolated incident and when it's hearsay

it takes at least a one or two more incidents. Well we all know. I mean she can't talk about it right now. Especially if there's a lawsuit going on, it's something that's coming out. But usually too, if something like this happens other things come out. I'm just saying like a lot of times it kind of has to be like

when it's this hearsayee, I kind need like a couple more people to be like, yeah, she tried to rip my dick off, you know, while I was shooting X. You know what I mean? And she said, tiny dick, stupid dick, you've got a funny dick. But also, wouldn't that get your dick kind of hard?

It would like a balloon, no. It would slowly get hard. If I was on a vegan diet, it would get harder a lot faster. Yeah, that's it. This is what we learned here today. I'm vegan, so I'm hard. And that's the older reason why, Mia, okay? So you can make

of my dick all you want and make me hard about it. But it's just because I eat lemon grass and fungi. And by the way, mushrooms fucking think and feel, bro. So if you're going to sit here and get mad to me about cows, stop eating them. They make music.

Mushrooms make music. All right? So if you're going to judge me, judge your own fucking ass. No one's judging me, by the way. No, I don't think so. But I think, again, I think that you would kind of love it if Mia Gauth did judge you though. Oh, just to have her look at me.

I made me hard. Yeah. Yeah, just to have her look at me. I'd accept it. I don't know. It's also funny because, like, I don't know. Do they approve there's cameras everywhere at some movie set? Yeah, they would probably see it, right? I wonder that anyone else would witness it. Especially because in the scene she was supposed to, like, run past him, stop, like look back at him and then keep going.

So it's like, it would be on film, I would assume. It's too speculative. It's very speculative. if she had a track record at all or if I hear anything else of this kind of sort but I have not heard anything like this about her. I just love her. But I don't see how she's with Shaila.

How does Shilabov keep pulling all this wild tale? That's what I was thinking, man. The guy comes off like such a douchebag all the time. It's that guy. It's that guy that you dealt with all through high school, all through college. It was like this guy such a fucking dickhead. Why does he end up taking home the girl? I have to crush on every single time in the party, Cameron.

It even goes deeper with Shailaba. Because we know him from Even Stevens. And so we know that he used to be a little nerdy guy. And so we know that part of the reason he's so obnoxious is because he has overcome that to be a big strong man. And those big strong men who feel like they overcame being a dweeb, sometimes the most annoying men of all. Well, this man is not annoying. the center of our new conspiracy theory for the week, hit me with the share.

Do you believe it? Did Sir Ian McKellen hook up with the bassist from My Chemical Romance? Oh, what? Yes, it definitely happened. This one comes in from Rosemary, who writes, Hi, Gang, I have a very silly celebrity conspiracy theory for you. Did Sir Ian McKellen and My Chemical Romance bass player Mikey Way hook up at a 2004 Oscar party? I recently saw MCR on tour, and this led to some reminiscing,

and me reading a bunch of old interviews with the band, including one from a 2004 issue of alternative press. The band were asked about attending a post-Oskers bash with the cast of Lord of the Rings. I'm attaching a screenshot of the article below, but essentially the band, say a certain wizard playing actor, was eyeing bass player Mikey, quote, like he was a piece of chicken, Mikey's own comment was that it was the craziest night he'd ever had in L.A.

Naturally, the only conclusion I can draw is that they must have hooked up, right? Anyway, like I said, a silly one. Hope you enjoy. Love you guys. Love the show. Love holding the most. He's so good. Think he's got muscles bigger than the moon.

Rosemary. Wow. Rosemary. I can't believe you said those things about holding. Yeah, pretty strong over here. Muscles bigger than the moon. So this is the exact quote from the article. After talking about how many cheeseburgers you ate over the last week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Muscles bigger than the moon. Double bacon. cheeseburger. Well, yeah, you need the protein. I mean, you gotta get the double. It's just the price point on that. It's worth it. Man, I'm craving it now.

Should I go? Like, today. Shake-Jex right then. Watch a documentary. You watch a documentary. You get back to me. Anyways, this is what I said. This is the quote.

Attending a 2004 post-Oskar bash attended by the cast of Lord of the Rings and other A-list celebs. The whole time I'm thinking, I don't belong here. What am I doing with these people, remembers Ray Toro, eyes wide? I was sitting this close to Kirsten Dunst. I could have literally touched her. In addition to lighting his hair on fire and

seeing Courtney Love moon a deck full of innocent bystanders, Toro and the rest of the band also watched as an actor known to play an all-powerful wizard eyed Mikey Way. Quote, like he was a piece of chicken, end quote. I love that it's chicken, like not that he's steak, not that he's a piece of chicken, he can get chicken any time. Mikey refused to comment on the poultry comparison, but did say it ranked as his craziest night. Los Angeles. Ooh. What do you guys think?

Did they bang it out? Did they slang it in? Hell yeah. Yeah? MJ? Absolutely. All right. And he said, he goes,

you shall not pass on this dick. You shall fuck my ass. Yeah. That's probably what he said. Yeah, that's probably what he said. It slammed his staff down. Yes. Put that staff right down.

I'd take him for a spin. Please. It's a fun one. It's a fun one. Skeet, Skeet. Hell yeah. Uh, you're welcome back. I guess it's time for the list. Oh!

Who's on the list? Jackie! Gotta have that list. We are talking about secret music facts. It's secret music facts. You thought you knew them, but you did it. Terrible weather hit the UK, New Zealand, and Romania when umbrella topped their charts. This became known as the Rihanna curse.

And I think that I chose this list just because of... of the Rihanna curse because it makes me think of the cat's curse. And sometimes you just got to like decide as multiple countries together that Rihanna cursed you all. And I think that it's great. I love it. I think she is powerful enough to curse them all. I do think she has the power for sure. Ooh, and she's waiting in the wings like a bat.

Yeah. What's her next move going to be? I guess she's just taking care of. She's like doing a, I think she's doing a good job. I think she doesn't. Oh, for sure. Yeah, she's actually paying attention to her children. She's like not just like paying someone else to do it. She's like actually attending to her job.

Being a part of her children's lives. Yes and. Yes and. The Church of England co-owns Beyonce's single ladies. Whoa. The church has invested in hypnosis, a company that owns the rights to thousands of songs. And that just like weirds me out the fact that like they're on the side just being like, but we also own the music too.

We own the music as well. Right. You don't think about the church like owning. other industries at all. And that's always scary when that happens. It's like, don't you have enough. You already don't have to pay fucking taxes. You already steal countries.

I'm guessing, do also churches in England not have to pay taxes? I don't know. I would assume if you are the next step to God. If you can own the song single ladies. They receive the taxes. They just get paid by the taxes. Get paid by the taxes. Ugh.

I would love to get paid by the taxes. Can I get paid by the taxes? We don't get paid by the taxes now. Church of Holden Jackie, Haldon Jackie MJ. Ew. Church of page seven. Church of page seven. You gotta be soup and me.

That'll be the tagline. Yeah, yeah. It'll be poor hot scalding soup on you. You get baptized in soup. Yeah. Hell yeah. And instead of a wafer, it's a giant goblet of wine. We keep the wine.

Obviously, everybody gets drunk. You have to drink all of during the service. And a glizzy or two. Yeah, you got to suck it down. Covered in mustard. That's the flesh of Jackie. It's the body of me. Yeah.

Body of Jackie. We have to eat the body of Jackie and drink the habit of Holden. And then what do we have for MJ? We have to learn about like society in some really annoying way. No, we are into, we worship puppets. Just kidding, Jackie. We worship puppets. Or MJ.

I was going to say you could just put an, like, instead of putting the communion wafer on your tongue, just put a little edible on your tongue and let it dissolve. Ooh, that's fun too. That's the, yeah, that's the saliva of MJ or something like that. It has to be part of your body. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. please. The urine of MJ is just a tincture.

Can you take me higher? Oh, that's a great song. That song I hate playing. That's a very much a Christian song. It is, but we're taking it back. I think it should be like, We all live in a yellow sombrane. Oh, God.

A yellow summer. And we just hear that. You just listen at the entire service. You have to sing and listen to that song. Or maybe we'll use Cardi B as our church song. Because Cardi B based her name off of Bacardi alcohol. Oh. That makes so much fucking sense.

It makes such sense. Her sister's name is Hennessy, so people used to call her Bacardi, which is she's shortened to Cardi B. There you go. Very fun, isn't it? Yeah, I love that. What about the fact that David Bowie named himself after Jim Bowie and Bowie Knives? He was worried that if he used his real name, David Jones, that he would be confused

with Davy Jones of the Monkeys. That's how, of course, he said this. Sorry, I'm just so excited that Cardi B. you know when you hear a fact and you're like, oh, I'm totally going to like bring that up at a, like at a party or something. You know what I mean?

Yeah. That is a new fact in the canon for this guy right now. Like Cardi, because that blows my mind, that Cardi B and McCarty. That makes so much so much stuff. Well, how did I not put that together? I felt very silly about not.

I want to be a fly on the wall watching Holden excitedly deliver this fun fact at a party. You know, he's going to be so excited. Oh, God, I have something to say. I've been weirdly quiet at this entire party. I have something to say. So anyways, first of all, Love you guys' vibe.

I saw you off from the cross of the room. Second of all, Cardi B. It's Picardy, you fucking idiots. It's Picardy. You fucking stupid fox! It's Picardy. Well, maybe this will be another one. I know that this is going to be another fun fact,

100% that you also share at parties. Where do you think Puddle of Mud's name came from? He had to take his shit, and he had to do it outside, and it dribbled all over, and then a child walked by and was like, ate it and said, oh, this is a really yummy puddle of mud. No, there was a puddle of mud in there. their rehearsal space. There was a bundle of blood

with their rehearsal space. The band wound up naming itself after the flood that soaked the entire first floor. It soaked the entire first floor of their rehearsal space. It's because of the Missouri River. Well, I could sleep, Jackie.

I'm sorry. That was a... I could sleep. I thought that was the new hot tip. I think my story was a little more entertaining. All right, well, this one might be one that you want to use.

Steely Dan. We all know Steely Dan. They were named after. a giant steam-powered dildo from the book Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs, which also I remember the dildo and I never connected the two. That's great. That's fun. Steely Dan.

Steely Dan. I never read Naked Lunch. Naked Lunch is one of those, like, kind of difficult reads, right? Yes. Yeah. So I've never, never ripped into it. Oh, yeah. But it's crazy and weird and horny, too, obviously.

Yeah. And last but not least, Pink Floyd's comfortably. numb. It's not about recreational drugs. Pink Floyd didn't do drugs. The song is about the time Roger Waters was given heavy sedatives against his will and had to perform despite being, quote, barely able to lift his arm. I was... Well, then it is about drugs. Yeah, but against his will. He didn't voluntarily do drugs. Right, but also, but they ate a bunch of asses. Right. That's what I did. I condemn this List entry.

Okay. Because I was like, is that true? Maybe they don't, maybe they don't maybe it's more like they didn't do heroin, which is obviously what people think the song is about. It's heroin. Yes. But they definitely did psychedelics.

Maybe they're just not counting psychedelics. I feel like the wording of this is wrong. I think the band never did, were like heroin addicts. And everyone, I mean, I've always. And they're not good for us. You know what, guys? Never got into age.

It's like we basically didn't do drugs. I've never snorted it or anything. Does that mean I've never done drugs? This is great. This is great for me. I've never done drugs before. Yes. I've also never done drugs.

Yeah, I've never done drugs either, according to this. I think that's more what it is because I definitely would have said, oh, what's that talking about? I would have been like, a heroin addiction, comfortably numb. You're numbing yourself. But, like, psychedelics, you're not numbing yourself. No, you're opening yourself. You're opening your moon's eye or whatever.

Fuck yeah, man. Big muscles. I love it, dude. Yeah. Moon muscles, dude. Fucking fucking shit up, dude. I'll kiss somebody with the moon. Are you blind yet?

I can't see. I think that I'm going Lime! We can't see them. Here we go. First of bat. These are some stories I was worried we were going to cover this week. I sure hope the former Disney actress

turned singer knows what she is getting herself into with the foreign-born alist actor. Some of his fights at pubs in his country are legendary. Legendary. Yeah, dude. Do you have a guess at either person? She, this is a big, hot new couple. Oh, Selena Gomez?

No, no. She, okay, who should I start with? Barry, what I just said? Barry Keogh, Ireland. Oh, Barry Keoggan and Sabrina Carpenter. I can't believe it's the first one ever done that just said somebody's name. Yeah, you did it. Fairkegge and Sabrina Carpenter.

Also, she looks a lot like his ex, by the way. But yeah, he's like a bad boy. I was reading up on him. Yeah, dude. That's why Jackie likes it. I know, he's a bad one. I shouldn't. I think that's kind of a fun couple.

She seems a little more, like, subdued than him, but I think it's a fun couple. I don't know. It's like a new it couple. I shouldn't. He's such a bad. He's so bad. I shouldn't have such a crush.

That kind of makes sense, but she's not, like, Miss Perfect. She kind of comes off, like, Miss Popular, Miss, you know, the other girl, like, in Olivia Rodriguez's album, right? She comes off, like, Miss, like, I get everything. goes my way kind of a girl. You know what you mean? And then she put out her album and stuff and, you know, opening for T. Swift and everything. But she

doesn't come off like she's goody two shoes per se. In her stuff. No. Yeah. That's a hot couple, man. I'm into it. Right? Have you looked up? There's like pictures of them together and like they're definitely like confirmed like they're together. Like I think they made their, I think they even made a

debut together at like an award show or something recently. They did like critics choice awards or so. They're They like stepped out. So they're pretty much fully... I like this a lot better than Shia and Maya. I'll tell you that much. Yeah.

No. Yes. What? Oh, dang. What? I just went through such a... Oh, I just went on a journey by myself over here. He's bad.

He's bad. But also, um, I forgot that Barry Keoghoun was going to be in Gladiator 2. And I, Cannon, love Gladiator. But then I was like, oh, is he playing Joaquin Phoenix as a young person? But I then, I see that he dropped out. of Gladiator 2. Interesting. And it makes me sad.

Yeah, maybe it's not a strong project. He seems like he is on. Yeah, but it's got Paul Mescal in it. Ooh. Yeah. Drink some of that. Yeah, I'll drink that bathwater. I'll tell you what.

I'll slurp on that. I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire. I want to see all of a stranger so badly, and no one will go see it with me. No one will go see it with me. Well, man, I can't believe I said the guy's name. That's a first for me.

Yeah, first time for everything. Mary Keogan is like really big in a movie you liked. That was what I was going to say. It was like, he's in a movie recently the Jackie really loves. I mean, I love it too, but Lexi was so mad at me for watching Salper without her. I was like, you were gone for 10 days. Yeah. She was like, you got to wait for me for someone.

This is clearly a movie I would be in too. So I might have to watch it again with the Lexi. Watch it again. You're not going to be mad about that. No. This A-list actress is a winner-slash-nominee. Chicken dinner. She's chicken. She's made of chicken. She might be. At an after party, she was very much hitting on this foreign-born former host of a popular show.

I'll even say it's on Comedy Central. And they even shared several cigarettes together. And the cigarettes is the big clue. Who's a cigarette-smoked ass TV movie star person? More TV lately, more TV lately than anything else. She's so cool. She's such a badass. This would be an interesting couple. And he is foreign. Is it Trevor Noah?

Yes. Okay. Now, who's the lady? She's on Netflix shows. She's cooler than all of us. Is it the Wednesday Adams? Jenna Ortega? Not Gena Ritega.

No, no, no, older. Scratchy voice. Miley. No. She doesn't act. She doesn't have streaming shows. I'm only thinking voice. She's like that girl you would smoke.

cigarettes with like in the bathroom in high school. Natasha Leon. Yes. That's a fun. That would be a fun. Natasha Leon and Trevor Noah. Interesting. I just like the idea too that this reminds me of like Manhattan parties in our

20s, you know, like where it's like the two of them just happen to be like really enjoying their cigarettes outside and they're like super hitting it off. I remember really enjoying Sigs. I remember that when you end up like with somebody special in the back that no one else got to hang out with because you're like on the fire escape. and you're smoking the cigarette. Yeah, and then you kiss on the fire is a game. Quit smoking and especially quit vaping.

It was a fun way to get yourself in a different social situations. Absolutely. It's really more about finding that because the actual smoking was whatever, but the fact that it just forced you into smaller social situations. Which is great because in California you can't just smoke a joint outside. Then I get too high to have a conversation is the problem. Yeah, a little hard to flirt. But also, I mean, I feel like that's always a good entry way of flirting.

is do you want to, I mean, back when it was illegal, it was, do you want to go back to my place and smoke a pole? But now it's like, do you want to stand out in front of this bar and smoke a J together, I guess? Smoke a J. Yeah. I have a funner blind than this one because it's not really a blind, but someone even on Twitter shouted us out to talk about it. So my, like, my extra blind was about our flag means death getting canceled because the company, it said, it just said, why would Max cancel a show with stellar ratings, a ravenous fan following in a bright future, The company wants to keep cutting costs and the show is expensive to produce.

So even though a third season was all laid out, it will not happen. I know because I was talking to some of the headwriters. Interesting. So that's really what went down. Yeah, and I was, I was introduced to them and my friend was like, oh, they were the headwriters of our flagged me and Seth,

and I was just like, I was so not cool at all. I was just like, immediately I just went, I'm so sorry. They're like, yeah, yeah, fucking yeah. Yeah, it's a bummer man. But it was so cool to be able to talk to them and just like geek out about it. Now just like let them know how much I loved it. At least, hopefully they can find a home for somewhere else

or at least that they got enough success off of it from all of this that they'll get more projects. It's so good. And if you haven't watched your flag means death, please watch it. It's great. It's so beautiful. I mean, my only reaction to this, them canceling was like, I was wondering A, did the second season have a different like reception than the first season?

It did. And B, because while I was watching, the second season, I was like, I think what was, I mean, it was this, I loved the second season, but I think that the first season, it was like such a thrill because we had, I felt like I had never seen a show like this. You know, it was like so imagine, this is what Teika Waititi is so good at, like

creating these worlds that are so imaginative and so unlike anything, his voice, like the way that that everything he creates, you're just, take Jojo Rabbit, the same way. I was like, I've never seen anything like this. And I wonder if it was one of those things where the first season was just this special unicorn thing. And then peep by the second season, people were like, okay, now, like, you know, it's, we don't have, the love story feels different because they're trying to build the characters as opposed to the first season as, like, introducing this world.

It's like the opposite of the bear, where the bear was like, the first season was great, but it was really establishing the incredibly much even better second season. So they're on a... I also feel like HBO buried our flag bean step. Yes, they buried it. No one knew that the second season was coming out. Like, I really feel like they did them dirty.

Yeah, I agree. But you're right, Holden. It was good. It was like, it was just a different... Yeah, it was like what they established in season one was so magical. It was maybe hard to maintain. Yeah, so here's the... But Tycho Waititi's beard and his hair.

Oh, my God. He's so good. I'd vampire that. Bro! Bloody. Sorry, I'm horny today. I don't know what's wrong with me. What am I like I always am?

Jaggy, you're being so Jackie right now. This rapper slash singer slash sometimes, very seldom actor, more of a rapper, is being accused by this former AIS dual threat actress of taking her one night and casting spells on her, which caused her to have a breakdown. What? Who's casting spells? Witch magic. It's a tale.

That's all this time. That's awesome. Who's a rapper who's kind of outside of the box, who's got a fun name. The actress, here's your clue for the actress. She was the voice of Nellie and Charlotte's Web 2 Wilbur's Great Adventure. Oh, Jesus Christ. She's known. The rapper is an actor and a rapper?

The actress is probably known more for her like mental health struggles and like substance abuse issues than. Bandabind. Yes. Wow. And the rapper. But this is the harder part for you guys, because you're not like with it or whatever you're not like. You know what I mean?

We're so youthful. Name me some rappers. Name me some really cool rappers. A splurge. I forgot. How about spits with a Z? I wish so spurt. You're going to have to narrow it down.

Hold it. I'm splurge. I'll give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. It's two words. The first word is... 50 cent. The first word is a word for a young person.

And the second word is a weird word. And it's, I guess, the second word... LL Cool J. What is a different name for a young person? What's a name for a young person? Taught. No. Child.

Similar. Baby. What's another, like, child word? Bad bunny. No. Machine Gun Kelly. Kid. Kid.

Kid, Kid, Rock. Kid Cuddy? Yes, MJ is more with it than Jackie. It's official. It's Kid Rock. You know, the rapper, Kid Rock, which is Cruises. Kid Cuddy cast spells on Amanda Binds. Wow.

How truthful do you think it is, Holden? 100,000 percent. This is the weirdest blind item you have ever given us. Yeah. I know, so I had to go. I was like, I have to drop our flag meets up. I very quickly right before we started, I was like, I wonder if there's like a more pop and blonde.

than the, our flag means death blind. And they just immediately saw that one and immediately copy and paste. It was like, yeah, I'm good at what I do. This is also coming on the heels of the story, which I did see and did not include it, that Kit Kuddy has been putting up massive statues of himself. Whoa. In, where's, where, ads. In Paris, California.

What were the ads for? For page six. For continuing to look at the website that I was. already looking at it. It was that Kid Cuddy is labeled Satanic after he unveiled two massive statues of himself to promote the release of his new album Insano.

Yeah, everybody thinks he's like Illuminati now and stuff. Or there's this whole thing with, because he performed in a dress and there's this whole thing now, this theory that the Illuminati makes people perform in dresses like dudes as a hazing ritual. That's the only reason why they would want to do it.

Damn, I should have you. ever celebrity conspiracy. Yeah, it's like all the rave right now is like anybody you had to perform and address like any, even you can even, are you like Big Mama's house or something like that? Aluminati! That's an Illuminati induction ritual. But we'll talk about that on a different celebrity conspiracy. The blinds are done. You have guessed correct.

MJ's cooler than Jaggy. It's official. Yeah. And I can see. It is official. I bow down to you, MJ. Thank you as the king of cool. You're on. You got the figure out the pulse, MJ. That's why next week we'll start. our new segment, MJ's finger on the pulse where you will talk about what is with it

and cool. Influence us. My finger is so on the pulse that I believe this is the first time I have said Kid Cuddy's name correctly on this show. And it's not the first time I've said the name on the show. I did, I did. I learn. We live and we learn. We're learning and growing. Hell yeah, we are. I love it. All right. Hell yeah, we did it, Jack.

All right, we did it, guys. Oh my gosh, we made it through Internet problems or no, get out of here. Good Lord. We've got this. I'm having a week. We're having a week, but we made it through. And thank you guys so much for joining us during this week that we're having. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You follow me in Instagram at Jack That Worm. And come hang out over at Jackie's Book Club. I tell you, a soul to keep really is given me what I need, what I want. We're kissing bone faces. What is the premise of a soul to keep? Um, so it is essentially the lead character, Raya, was given to this duskwalker who is a seven foot tall beast man with a wolf's skull as a face, but he also has, I call the mood orb eyeballs that changed to his mood. He doesn't open up his mouth when he talks. He just kind of like thinks into her brain. And she's given to him as a bride. But turns out he's like really sexy. He's like really sexy and he's always like, oh, almost hurting her with his claws, but like he doesn't.

And like she, Ray had just literally said like, oh my God, I'm like turned on by a monster. And you're like, yeah! Wow, this is like ultimate monster fucker. This is great. So, and we can find that on. Ultimate Jackie. Yes. On Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast.

Yes. Every Monday, guys. And here's a big announcement. Good segue for this. We are officially changing our $10 layer. Before it was the Discord watchalongs of Jersey Shore. We've been watching Family Vacation. And lots of people had issues finding it and getting a part of the Discord.

We watched all of Jersey Shore. We watched all of flavor of love. We watched most of flavor of love. We watched the first season, Gossip Girl. First season of season gossip girl. And almost, a lot of, about half of Family Vacation Jersey Shore, because that shit just is. Goes on and on, my friend. And we got to the point with GoodPud.

over on LPN TV being a big conflict and us just not having a really hard time finding a time we could consistently weekly do a group watch along. I'm feeling like, hey, it's time to switch things up a little bit. We are changing the format, and so every, we're looking to release every Tuesday. We're going to do a Jackie MJ Holden more focused riffy watchalong that we pre-record that we will release on the Patreon page in video format. And hey, we will even be putting the show on the screen. So you can see the show.

Here are riffs. It'll be more like the watch-alongs we post around the holiday season. And you don't have to worry about syncing it up or anything like that. But also, that will be dropping every Tuesday. And go over to the Patreon now and help us vote. We are between a couple of shows. Vote for which show you want us to start watching so that we know what you guys want to check out. Because I think we're throwing around Buffy.

We're throwing around Glee. We're throwing around Glee. We've got some ideas. And we'll probably keep a miff. We probably won't commit too hard to anyone's show just to keep it hot and fresh unless it's just popping with us. You know what I mean? So don't worry.

I've also never seen Buffy. I'm excited. I'm excited for either. So maybe we'll even jump back and forth. We'll see. So if you're ever like, oh, I don't care too much for that show, we'll probably change it up as we go. But anyways, yeah, check it out. Patreon.

dot com forward slash page seven podcast very excited for that content coming we hope you are to again patron dot com forward slash page seven podcast and i will miss my crew uh that was meeting up every week by the way we'll miss you guys i know we'll see you in twitch chat we'll see where there's other ways we're not going anywhere for us to party and cajole uh at least and we do hope that y'all keep meeting up every Thursday and watching bullshit together because well that's fucking why not still hang out over in the discord because it's just an amazing community if you guys even go on my podcast it every now to get you know what he means so definitely definitely keep it going why not and check out our discord and we'll keep the discord running and we'll even open it up so people outside of

the 10 dollar layer can get more involved in the discord and the voice channels and stuff on there so that'd be good uh yeah i think that's about it twitch.tv forward slash hold to natures ho once again that's twitch dot tv forward slash hold to natures ho check me out i stream monday Tuesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, Friday. Friday with Jackie. Jacking with the holdies. Every Friday at 6 p.m. ET, it is always a party. So definitely catch us on that.

And I think that's all from me. MJ? My name is MJ. I'm having a week. And I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram. So the reason why MJ is saying that, by the way, if you guys can't tell from the audio, because I'm sure our editor will be fixing it up and stuff. MJ's internet or I think

our internet actually is being weird. I think both the internets are not being There's a lot of like delay issues and stuff but we, that's why we were like, we're getting through it. I had a really fun time today with you guys. Oh yeah, great time. And I love you guys. Everything's going to change anyways. We're moving studs and all sorts of stuff.

Oh, yeah. But anyways, MJLCat at Gmail.com. Don't keep it. You're the love of God. My name is MJ And everybody's doing great And I'm MJK L Kahn on Instagram And

Yes What was it? Oh, and page 7 podcast Atgmail.com Please write us in With your celebrity conspiracies And only that And no complaints

Or shoutouts Or your shoutouts Because it's time to sing The shoutout song Shout Shout Shout Let it all out

These are the emails That you ruin About Come on We're not a reason Come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, for sending in your shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com.

Oh my goodness, guys, and I just want to say thank you so much just for sending in your high hellos and just anything that makes you guys think of us. I really appreciate it. I can't remember if I brought it up last week, but I did want to let Emma know who sent in this candle that says, on the candle getting railed in Riverdale by Legless and Aragorn. Um, they just wanted to let me know that it existed and I just needed you to know, Emma. I immediately purchased said candle.

Oh, don't tell me. Oh, it's a, it's a Lord of the Rings fuck candle. Yes, please. So again, send in whatever you want at page seven podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you guys. Like, for instance, I want to give a shout out to Stephen. Stephen who wrote in, inspired by Jackie always doing something new with her fashion every year, I've decided to do the same, and dare I say, I think you might like it.

I've always hated buying shoes and have never understood the whole sneakerhead thing, but I've always really liked formal black leather shoes, or as my friend calls them, old man funeral shoes. I've recently found a great pair at a thrift shop for around $7. They feel great, and they go well with my look, which is basically not. 1940s noir detective meets and 1980s goth slash punk gay dude. Yes, please, Stephen. And I've decided to search more thrift shops to find more.

So 2024 for me will be year of the old man funeral shoes. All my love to everybody at LPN, but especially page 7, Stephen. And also, this goes out to you, Stephen. Take that pickle, painted brown. Turn that pickle upside down. it's a poo-po-pickle. I'm pretty sure that was the words of poo-poo-pickle, right? Sometimes, how could you forget, Jackie? It's poo-poo-pickle. How dare you? All right, well, put your poo-poo pickles to the side because we do have a sad shout-out that I would like to read.

And I do, I am going to have a pause for a trigger warning because there's some sensitive topics coming up in this shout-out. but I didn't want to cut around what it took this person a lot of strength to be willing to share. So there's a trigger warning for death by suicide, and I'm going to sing a little bit of a yellow submarine, because that's what's currently in my head, to give you time if you would like to shut it off. It's the last shout out of the show. And I just wanted to give you a little bit of time. I'd like to be Under the Sea

And an octopuses garden In the shade All we would be So happy you and me No way there's nowhere else to go I think that's the words I should have looked it up I'd like to be Under the Sea

And an octopuses garden in the shade Also I apologize I'm not trying to make light the situation. It was just the first song that was in my head. But I thought it was very important to share this and hopefully this shoutout helps other people. Cheyenne says, so I've been debating doing this for a long time. But here we go. Let's flash back to 2021. All of 2020 had been a mental health crisis. Hell, let's be honest, my whole life has been. But January 2021, I decided I cannot make it through another year like this. I knew I had reached my limit. So I planned to end my life the

day before my 27th birthday. Then a week before that day, I found out that the ex-girlfriend who had been stringing me along for two years had gotten married the year before on the day before my birthday. I canceled my plan, so I didn't burden her with the guilt of my death. I spent the next three months trying to come up with a new plan until my older brother, my hero, beat me to it and ended his life on July 12th, 2021. Less than a week before the worst day of my life, I started talking to a woman. And when I told her what had happened that day and apologized because I knew I was about to devolve

to the worst place I'd ever been, so I was ready to cut her off. She responded with, I'm so sorry. My little sister died the same way about a decade ago. We never stopped talking. That woman encouraged and entertained and listened and accepted me 110%.

Every day this woman was there for whatever version of me, I could convince myself to be that day. Three months later, I decided to dive in headfirst and moved in with her across state lines three hours away from my family. That was almost a year and a half ago. She's now my fiancé, and we are now planning on starting our own little family. I miss my brother every day, and my survivor's guilt kills me some days.

But on those days, I seek out the positive voices of my friends on the last podcast network. Whether it's Henry's horrible jokes that remind me of my brother's humor, or Jackie's voice that emanates joy and hope, or Eddie's laugh that just makes my heart smile. So this is a shout out to me for still going every day and trying to find a way to focus on a future I never expected to have. For my fiancé who showed me that when the right person chooses you, they won't always stop. To my brother who served two tours with the army and never escaped those demons, and to you guys who bring light and joy to countless people every day. Thank you for being there for us. And thank you, Cheyenne. Thank you so much for sharing with us and for sticking around. I send so much love to you and I know how hard it is and how dark things can get. And I just want to say, I send love to you every

single day. And thank you so much for listening and being a part of this amazing community. I love you all, you guys, so fucking much. Oh, my love goes out. out to you. Be good to yourself. Be good to other people. Let's put out that positive energy. Let's shine together. I love you guys and we'll be back next week. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.