Page 7 - Ep. 524: He Did This for SPAWN!?

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

This week we're gossin' 'bout This Is Me... Now: A Love Story, Jackie refers to Affleck's mighty Phoenix as a mere bird, Mariah Carey appears on a remix of Ariana Grande's new single making a song only dogs can hear, Selena Gomez comes for Holden hard with her copycat fan name and Holden ends up calling for a total boycott of Page 7, the "I am Rectangular" singer got kidnapped with his family in South Africa, Zendaya wears a robotic Metropolis based outfit for the Dune premiere, the Tonygotchi combines Tamagotchi and Tony Soprano, Andrew Keegan may have accidentally started a bit of a cult, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: The Curious Case of Hilaria's MoonBump?! A maggot covered list of disgusting behind the scenes movie secrets, blinds and shouts outs! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Well, I want to really kick this off right. And yes, that includes a little bit of a competition here to see who is the sexiest J-Lo. Are you ready, page seven listeners? Okay, MJ. All right, this one goes out to all my haters. This is me. Yes. This one goes out to all my fucking lovers, dude.

Oh, okay. Hell yeah, thanks for all the dick sucks. This is me. Dada, dot, dot, now calling a love song. Oh my God, yes, we're here. Now, because it is an ellipses in the name of the song title. Yes, we're talking about the J-Lo movie as well as just the clip of This Is Me Now, which is played over and over again in the trailer.

If you watch, This Is Me. colon a love story, the trailer. You will hear that little clip over and over again. We watched it. Welcome to page seven. How do we overwhelmingly mid? Disappointing. Yeah, I definitely very, well, I will say, the stream was wild.

Stream was great. We had a blast. Oh, great time. We were drunk. Yeah. The stream was out of control. Yeah. And I loved that.

But the actual, yeah, you know, the problem is, is you needed to You need it to be a shit show, right? You need it to be wild choices. It's a cat-someter. We're going off of it. We were hoping this could be our new cats. Yeah, right. And it wasn't.

I think that's the, that's, it truly was not. I think that I would summarize the stream by saying that a large portion of the stream was us discussing, yes, J-Lo is a triple threat, but what are the three threats and is singing one of them. So I feel like that really sums up how we felt about it. I think it is. You know I am the J-Lo stand here, all right? And I think that it is.

And I think that she's wonderful and I think she's very talented. I think we can all agree that one of the threats is dancing. She's not. One of the, she's, but I mean, she's the best. It's like Starbucks, it's like Starbucks, but how Starbucks is good sometimes. You know, you want Starbucks sometimes. Every once in a while, that frat slaps. That's the thing.

Sometimes I want a vanilla latte. And I know exactly what I'm going to get, you know. So we know dancing is one of the threats. And I think we decide. It's going to taste kind of burnt. And it's going to taste like maybe it kind of lays there and is a pillow princess. But we enjoy Starbucks every once. She is.

If you have to have Starbucks. I didn't realize until listening to 50 minutes of J.Lo's music that it is, I never once thought of it as Starbucks until listening to it constantly. And again, she is a good singer. It's just, is that in the top three things she has to offer? And I think that dancing, looking hot. Uh-oh. And don't be an a. Charismatic.

No, I'm not an, I, well, yes, you're right. Learn from, learn from I. M.J. You're being a bit of an I.O. and a Barry right now. Cut to 10 years from now, you are hosting S&L with Cyborg JLo. And Cyborg Jalo, by the way, a lot less forgiving. Okay?

There's a lot more of a binary, like it's like ones and zeros. Yeah. Oh my God. Wow. I just need everyone to know because I was about to say, I was like, yeah, but I was about to really go head to head with you, and I was going to rip off my clothes and be like, yeah, you got something to say about J-Lo?

And what about Selena? And I just found out for the first time she didn't sing in Selena. Really? Just now? You're processing this information? I know just now found out that she did not sing. Was it just Selena's original vocals then?

I believe, I'm not sure. I'm like trying to quickly look this up while talking. I think so. Lopez does. doesn't actually sing in the movie. The voice you hear every time Selena performs on stage or records a new song is the late singers with Lopez lips sinking to her tracks.

You spent the last 25 years thinking that you were in love with J. Lo and in fact, you were in love with Selena the whole time. You know, I knew I was in love with Selena. Yes, yes, but you were just more in love with Selena than you thought. I thought that she was epic at, like, at personifying Selena.

So that's why, to me, J-Lo, even in the movie enough when she has had enough oh, and she has had enough many times in the movie enough. I would dare say like maybe even like no, I guess like stage fighting can't be one of her triple threats.

Well, acting is, we did agree. Acting is 100% one of her threats. Dancing and acting, she's got. She is skilled. Maiden Manhattan is a great movie. Gile is a movie. Huffler and strutting. Strutting, she can fucking strut, dude.

She can. She's got charisma. I think charisma is the third threat. And I'm honestly not trying to be shady. I think she's, I'm not being an I-O right now. I think she is a fine singer or slash I don't know enough. I'm not immersed in the J-Lo catalog enough to be like, well, there's this and this and when I hear a J-Lo song, I enjoy it.

Yeah. I just, again, 50 minutes of non-stop J-Lo vocals. And really what the best part of watching the movie was was the dancing. The choreo was fantastic. The dancing was fantastic. Like she is, it's, it's, some singers bring a multi, all stars bring a constellation of different threats. And sometimes singing is at the forefront and sometimes it is not the first two things you think of. And I honestly think that with J-Lo, her dancing and her acting are stellar.

And I think that it's fine to say that singing is either her number third or fourth of the threat. I can't believe she didn't sing in the fucking movie. I can't believe. Although it does say that apparently there's one part in the movie where I remember when the band thinks at the stage is going to collapse and she sings like a slower melody of like

Como la Floor! And then that was her singing and that started her singing career. Okay. There you go. I mean and I think that I like this is the thing about what Iyo said about her is that like I think that people have strong feelings about it because again if you have more familiarity with the J-Lo

catalog you can be like well these are the songs where it's like mostly you know, back up. Like, I just can't even get into the detail with which we can critique how her voice is present and not present on all of her songs. Because I really

think that like, are you going to look me in the eyes and you know how much I love the song Let's Get Loud and how often I say let's get loud as just a tagline for my life. And how good that song is, but you don't listen to Let's Get Loud like it's a ballad. You do it right before

you take like a ski of tequila shots. That's when you're really getting loud. But that's the thing. She's not, we're not going to J-Lo for like a, you know, Halo experience, right? Like we're going for like, oh, my love is all I have. Like her voice does.

You pride is what you have, baby girl, I'm what you have. Like her voice does what it needs to do for her music. It's great. Oh, God, that music video is so good. I love that song. I love that song. Is that another school just like being in good,

music videos. I don't even know what. Because I would even say you say charisma to, I think also I'm the most charmed by her like real life shenanigans. Like the whole. The diva aspect. Ben Affleck. Yeah. Yeah. Like she's the funest diva. Like maybe Mariah

as we have more fun with. But like every bigger div. Every blind about about Jalo though. But still, Mariah let Nick Cannon put his penis in her. So she gets taken down a couple and notches. I don't know, but there are a lot. I don't think we should blame the women in every ass of God. Apparently, he's very charismatic as well. He riszes right into the hole. And back when that happened, he, she was the first person he had kids with. So it wasn't clear that he was

like a messianic cult. Totally, totally. I guess Andrew Kagan's the cult leader. We'll talk about that later. Seed spreader. Seed spreader. Cold. But every, every J-Lo blind makes me chuckle and is like, even if it's the most diva-e bullshit, it's like still, there's comedy there and it's like never that serious. You know what I mean? She's great at being a famous person. Yeah.

Like, she's really, even the I-O stuff. Like, I think, I do think, though, she doesn't seem like especially humorful. Like, I think. What is the part where she doesn't have drink or smoke or have any fun ever and eats an incredibly specific diet? But have you seen her stomach? Like, I can't even imagine.

She's 54 years old. She's had two children. That's insane. What are you talking about? I'm definitely in the camp of I do not envy it. I only envy people who just have a lot of fun in life and get to indulge and whatever they want without killing them.

That's the people I envy. Like Ben Affleck, who seems to have a lot of fun. He loves his caffeine. You know he runs on donkeys, everybody. And yes, I accidentally called him peacock, Ben Affleck because he doesn't have a peacock on his back. He's got a Phoenix on his back. But I think it would be funnier if he had a peacock on his back.

saying. Indeed. I was like, why did you call him, Jackie said this email referring to him as peacock Ben Affleck. I was like, is he on a peacock show? And Jackie was like, no, the wings from whatever bird on his back. And I said, whatever bird, it is a phoenix, Jackie. It's not just some bird. He's rising from

his ashes. I think it would be better if it were a pigeon. I'm just saying, I think Ben Affleck could really rock a pigeon. And I think I would respect it more. I would also respect him. Again, is he a humorful person? The Dunkie Super Bowl commercial showed us that he does have a little bit of a sense of humor about himself. And honestly, so does she.

So does she. She's in that joint. She's in the Super Bowl commercial. Yeah. But I heard, I did hear that they had to constantly. She was like, wait, wait, wait, is this real? Is this real life? Like this?

No. This is just a fake commercial. Like, she's that humorless. She just was like, wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. So wait, Matt, Damon, you're actually trying to, you know, horn in on the... Yeah, yeah, it is. And they're just like, no, see the cameras. You know what I mean?

That's why she's just a strong actor. She takes everything literally. She actually thinks she's living these lives whenever she's in them. I say guvaha. And also guvaha in that, which I'm glad it made a lot more sense after we watch. This is Me dot dot now, colon a love story. Because Jennifer Lopez showed up in this, dare I say, oh my God, gorgeous, zodiac themed dress for the premiere of This Is Me, dot, dot, now, colon a love story.

and she looked unbelievable. And I had no idea why. I was like, why is it all Zodiac themed? This is a very weird choice. But then you watch the movie and you find out that, you know, Jane Fonda and Neil deGrasse Tyson are on the Zodiac Council. Right. Yes.

Which I'm not even going to explain it because I don't know if I could. Yeah. All I will say is clearly she's a fan of what we do with the Shadows, the TV show, and especially that first season where there's the council of vampires. The vampire councils. Celebrity cameos. It was like, I'm just like, there's no way this is not a one-to-one inspo.

Because it's the same setup. Maybe she watches, maybe she smiles. Maybe she watches what we do in the shadows and actually enjoys herself. I hope so. She thought it was a real documentary. That's the problem. She really does think.

I think I'd like to become a vamp here. When someone make that happen, make it happen. Right now, there is a personal assistant actually tried to figure out how to make her a vampire. The only thing that makes, this is me dot, dot, dot now, colon, a love story similar to cats is that similarly after watching it, if you're asked to describe it, it's very hard. It's like, it's like trying to remember a dream. You know, you're like there was a lot of machines. We were in a kind of dystopian future.

Well, it's also like when you get really drunk with your friends and then somebody asks you what you did the next day, it's very similar to that because that's exactly what happened. Yes, also, we were getting drunk with our friends. and hanging out while also trying to comprehend what we were seeing. Is this Ben Affleck with a lot of facial makeup being a news anchor? Yes. Is Jane Fonda here?

Even though she did not even get remotely top billing in the credits, also yes. There's a motorcycle crash. Oh yeah, there's a trigger warning of domestic violence as well. I mean, there's not the trigger warning, but I was surprised. Yeah, there's no trigger warning.

But there is domestic violence. There's three men kind of constantly switching out places with each other, so you're wondering, am I not keeping track of the men? Or do all these men look different, the same? You just never know what you're going to get. Ultimately, we're bearing the lead here, which is to say that it's not really a movie about something, right?

We would call it a visual album. Yes, this was totally just a series of music videos loosely stitched together by therapy sessions and a council of astrology people. Correct. That's essentially what happened. Actually, now that I think about it, doesn't Neil de Krasse Tyson always talk shit about astrology? And then he's going to be in a council of astrology signs.

Maybe that's part of the tongue and cheek that we know. Oh, maybe I'm the humorless one. And it's J.Lo that gets it. Oh. Yeah, she's the hilarious one in this outfit here. That's what's going on. Absolutely. I mean, if we're talking divas, we got to be also obviously talking about Mariah Carey.

Yes. And? there you go. You just listen to the yes and remit. That a seal? Did a seal just hear of Ariana? I think a seal broke out of the zoo just now.

Did you listen to the yes and remix starred in Ariana Grande and Mariah Carey and Mariah Carey? And Mariah Gary really, I feel like the additions were ah, oh, oh, oh. It was very much a like, Lana Del Rey Snow on the beach situation where I'm like, I guess this person is a presence

on this track. That was how I felt. I was like, I guess this is a remix? It's kind of hard to tell. Was it even like, was it more boring? I don't know. I feel like I'm the person in this trio that likes the song the most, I guess.

Which is surprising because you would like Ariana the least. I don't like, I don't hate, I don't dislike it. I don't know. I think it's slightly, I think it might be better than mid a little bit. I feel like it has a pep to its step. You know what I mean? I don't know. What do you?

Or, all right, go lick some donuts, Holden. Please. Is that what you, just being like, I am the donut holding.

Are you being an orionator? Yeah. No, I'm not at all. And Bob, let's talk about this shit. Yeah. Selina Gomez,

you've just joined my dog shit list. Are you fucking kidding me with this? Sleena Gomez, posts on Instagram, whatever, like, oh, I just want to thank all my selenators. Cillinators.

What is that? That doesn't even sound good. Selenators? Selenators? You're clearly stepping up. on my dick. You know what I mean? It's just, it's obvious. I'm so over these weird, aggressive, you know, microaggressions that these celebrities are performing towards me, dude. I have a small but dedicated following. Step off. They're not yours. They're my fucking servants, okay?

Although I'd allow Selena Gomez to take it, though. I mean, I like, I really like Selena Gomez. I like her. I like her, too, but you can't take my thing. And by the way, yes, I now call my fans my mini servants. Okay? That's the new thing. And I need you all. And that's right. I'm saying it right. Actually, I'll probably get legal trouble

for actually following through with this bit. I'm not going to command you all to attack these people. Okay? Don't say. But I do ask you to wash my feet. It's time. I'm ready. What is it the Super Bowl ad?

Yes. The Super Bowl at finally got to me. Normalized feet washing. You know what I mean? Because I get on the subway. I see the dirty man's feet in the sandals. And I don't like it. So you know what? Maybe feet washing should happen.

We're getting off course here. Selena, I'm coming for you, sort of. Probably not. Not at all. That's the thing. I like Selena Golda is more than Ariana. But Aryanator is unfortunately pretty fun to say. Yeah, selinators is not working. It's clunky. Hulton nature sounds right because it's like Terminator. Aryanator doesn't sound right because it doesn't sound at all like Terminator.

Selenator, even worse. and I bet she doesn't even sing in her fucking movies. Isn't that fucking interesting? Are you about to say that Holdenator works the best of the three? Because it definitely doesn't. What? This is the first time I've ever seen him stunned into near silence. Yeah.

Yeah. Look at him. I just want to say to everybody out there who supported me and that understands what kind of fucking grift is happening right now in front of me. I've never seen him not respond to you within the first sense. second of something you said. All my fans listening right now, I'm commanding you all right now. Stop listing to page seven.

Don't listen to it. I don't want you to listen. I'm just saying Arianeaters, it really does roll off the top. It rolls off the top. Celine Nader's I'm not on board with. I'm going to keep doing the show, but I don't want anybody who likes me to listen. No. I'm not saying you can't have it.

I think that there's a, I think there's room for you both. On Wizard and the Bruiser, we find all those crazy little moments in geek history that made the things we love into inescapable cultural behemates. If you love video games, movies, comics, and anime, this is the LPN show for you. But wait, Holden, it's not just educational. Shouldn't we talk about all those crazy boner jokes we make all the time? No, Jake. No, we will not. Fair enough.

Last Podcast Network presents Wizard and the Bruiser. find it on your favorite podcast app and hit that little subby-dovey button oh we would love it if you did that oh that would help us out so much god wouldn't you love to do that don't i sound like the kind of person you want to help like hit the button like just do it okay again i'd like to pull the curtain back a little bit sometimes it's on purpose a dumb name for your fans stop doing this it's a stupid bad name there's so many my selini my selini weenies my What would be a good one for Selena and what would be a good one for Ariana? I think you found it. Selini weenies is perfect. How about my little arias? My like aria is like a musical

fucking dumb thing, right? My arias. We could set up this pitch meeting where you scream in her face about what to call her fans. Or by the way, the ones that are the hookiest besides Swifties, which is a spin off of her name, the hookiest ones aren't spins off of their names.

Barbes, beehive. Little Monsters. A B. I have a little bit Beyonce, for sure. I don't know. The jackpack works really well. I like jackpack, Jackie. I think that's really good. I really like the jackpack.

Yeah. And the MJHs, which I think is a good one. The MJJs, yeah. Yeah, but that just sounds like you're also a part of Holden because Holden is HJ. Well, maybe that's why I did that, Jackie. And I know you too well. X marks the spot. The weakest thing's goodbye.

It's my show now. You better not goodbye us. We are only 19 minutes. Show, it's now the podcast, the Holden Show. What do we go to today? Is that what everybody wants? Does everyone want a Holden-only show for page seven? We've got a one-on-one interview between Holden and Goronky for the next hour and ten minutes.

I think it would be on the show, I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. But I just think, you know, or Little Monsters is such a good name for your fans. You don't have to come up with a spin off of your name for Ariya. My Spongas, my SpongeBob's. Yeah. Or Spongies, my sponge?

Yeah, but what happens when he goes and destroys another, you know, like she goes and destroys another family? Or how about my little homewreckers? Yeah. Little homewreckers is good. Little spider women. My little spider women is good. If she leaned into it, again, I would have, it's just like the Lizzo thing. If she leaned into it, you know what I mean?

Like for Lizzo, my little bananas. It would be amazing. That'd be amazing. And then for Selena, Selena could be, what's the name of her team? TV show. It should be a spin on something like that. Like murdering. You can't say murderinos.

That's already taken. Can't say murderinos. Already take it. Building gees. Yeah. Oh, so you choose buildings? What about only? Olines.

Because of the word only in it. Yes. My lefties. My lefties. I don't think that's going to work. My own liens. And yeah. And for Jared Leto, my Shidilini in the wooded.

Yeah. The Wooden Tienies. Oh, yeah, man. For all of his many fans. If you have a good nickname for celebrity fan groups that they should be using, let us know. We'll read them off. Yeah, come on. It's a scourge to this nation that all these pop stars and all these famous people

cannot come up with a good name for their fans and then go steal my bad on purpose name for my fans. It's fucking stupid, man. That's all I got to say. I understand why they're coming for you, though. It's everything about you, Holden. And really, have you thought maybe this is because of you? Yeah. Have you ever thought to, like, look inward and be like, who am I?

Am I rectangular? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Can we talk about the rectangular guy? I am retangler. I am retangler. But such a silly conversation is such a harrowing story. This is literally I didn't even mean to.

I did. And it just, the transition, it came so naturally that is not the story I was going to go do next, but I was like, I mean, I'm saying it. I'm in the middle of bringing it up. And by the way, I am re-day. There's nobody other pop culture stories, but this is a page seven story. This is a big seven story. Who wears a little vest and a little hat who sings, I am rectangle.

Oh, and by the way, if you're like snickering right now in your little car or whatever you're in and being like, oh, I remember that fucking idiot. You're about to feel so bad. Ooh, you're about to feel bad. You're not saying that. You're about it feels so bad. You're going to laugh and then. feel even worse because the way that Jackie emailed us about this made me laugh so hard.

So this guy, we talked about the show because it was a conspiracy from somebody saying, is this guy like haunting my algorithm? He sings, I am rectangular. And he's really annoying. And he was experienced a harrowing kidnapping experience in South Africa. Long story short, everyone is fine. But Jackie emailed us this story. with the subject, I am, dot, dot, dot, rectangular,

parentheses, leak kidnap. And I'm like, how are we going to? I forgot about that. But then I wrote all sad news alert. Like you're a spoiled for it doesn't like sad news. So you're like, bomb that. Sad news or, you know, hiding face down in his car was he singing to himself, I am rectangle.

It's a very sad story. and I do want to say thanks to Kelsey over on the Patreon who alerted me of this story. And this was because of last week we were talking about the Benedict Cumbum. His kidnapping that happened in South Africa. And Kelsey was like, bro, the I am rectangular guy also got almost kidnapped with his whole family. It's actually, if you look, I'm not going to get into the specifics here, but if you do look up Sean Stevens and like what happens, it's a very, you know, just, but everybody is fine. Everybody's fine.

General Chis. Police officers stopped them, but they weren't police officers, and there were guns held two heads, and many ATMs were, were, they were taken to. And yeah, it was then luckily every day, they, luckily, luckily they were in a rental car,

so they decided not to steal the rental car because they knew it would be tracked, so they just let them back at their car and drove off never to be seen again. But I will say, you know, if, you know, You probably don't want to kidnap such a rich, high stature person because, you know, definitely they are on the hunt, I believe, for these people now that he's...

Which also, just so you know, it's not because he just sings I am rectangular. He also is like a CEO of a company. Yes, very rich. So I was the hardest thing about this. Like, that's like, I was reading this news, this article about this. And I was like, why? Like, obviously this is like a sad, scary story that a family was kidnapped when not on vacation. in South Africa, but that I was like, why is, who, what, who is he? Is he a public figure for his

songs on Instagram? But no, he's a public figure because he's a CEO of a successful something, I don't know, he's not just rectangular. He's more than rectangular. Yes, good for him. He has no holes. Yes, it was one of those where he has enough money to produce a bunch of content that no one asked for, but now it's like a thing. Right. Jackie, you made, an O face just now. Were you orgasming? Yeah, I was just orgasming. Yeah, I was just orgasming.

Really fast. I just had a quick, like, oh! And I couldn't even, thank you for noticing, because I was like, I can't make my usual orgasm bird noises or else everyone's going to know I'm in the middle of an orgasm. Or you're on an Ariana Grande feature. I was making, I was making that face because I was trying to open up both of my links that I had sent you guys about Zendaya's outfit at the Dune premiere.

But I'm mad at myself because I accidentally included the same link. for both. And I did not include the history of the outfit, which I did have to hear a lot about. So I will say, by the way, I definitely just Googled it and found probably the article you sent. Because it's all about Metropolis, correct? The Filmic Experience Metropolis. The black and white, it's from like the 30, I mean, any film history class will cover Metropolis. It's one of those, like you have to talk about that movie if you're going to talk. about like the evolution of filmic experiences all the way up to cats.

And also look up the picture of Zendaya in the outfit at the Dune Premiere. She looks unbelievable. And apparently it is based on this suit called the Machine and Mench. And it is a part of Metropolis. But I didn't know anything about this suit. So when I first saw the picture, I just like said to Jeff, I was just like, man, do you see how hot Zendaya looks as like a robot person? And he was like, well, actually that there's a reason.

and why she's dressed that way. He's like, have a seat, Jackie. I've got some explaining to do. He's so cute. But he was just so cute in a way of like, he was so excited to be like, actually, what really, the reason why she's wearing the suit and he explained so much about it,

which was, I mean, it just makes me melt when he gets so excited about like, you know, sorry Holden, it's history. All right, we know how you feel about it. This is interesting. This is art history I'm more interested in. It's just boring like this guy, who wants to say that this treaty was a bad treaty,

and then Abraham Lincoln talked for two and a half hours, and we all had to watch it, and it sucked ass. Refer to me as Mr. Lincoln, Holden. I only want you to refer to me as Mr. Lincoln. Yes, I am both Bain and Mr. Lincoln. Yes, he was making... You're very good at it. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I just... They can't get over, though, the fact that Zendaya was so beautifully dressed versus what Shama Ding-Dong was wearing. I thought he looked cute and gage. His pants were fine. It was the oversized t-shirt that I think did him in. But he was wearing, she was wearing a whole robot suit, and he was wearing like some shiny silver pants.

And so it would have nice. But he kind of looked like the Framon a little bit from Dune. Like he sort of looked like a desert person. Yes. You know what he mean in this way? But she just was so, it would have been cool if he was dressed like R2T2. Yeah. That would have been, like, like shove him into the tiny robot.

And he's like, I don't want to be in here anymore. Style, like, trash his heads popping out of like, get back in there. Yeah, yeah. Shepal Leveraging dog. Yeah, all the tweets were like, wow, Timothy really got upstaged by Zendaya. But it's like, I'm sorry, that was going to happen no matter what he wore. Because she's, A, she's Zendaya, B, she's wearing a sexy robot outfit. So what was he going to do?

You know, I think he did fine. Also, her Dune premiere outfits, like Zendaya and whatever, I don't remember the name of the designer that she's working with. but she also had this amazing look at one of the other premiere. Like she's coming out at every premiere, dressed in these Dune-inspired outfits, which is really cool. Yes. I know I didn't read all of them,

all right? And yes, I can't name every fremen, okay, Holden. Until Jeff reads, but I enjoy the movies. Until Jeff reads the very fuck books, I don't give a fuck, dude, you were absolved, bro.

He needs to be reading those. He read the first one. He read the first fairy fuck book. I will say. I know. Until he reads all of them. I know. I find you to be absolved, okay?

Thank you. Yeah, you're doing plenty. You missed the Super Bowl to see Dune won in the movie again, Jackie. Again, you're a great life. You can get yourself off the hook. Okay, before you read the Dune books, all right. Oh, what about the Spice? Are you talking about spice?

Well, I said the cum must flow, but yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I said something to him the other night, and I said, you better get home because I've got some shy hallooed thoughts about him. Whoa. And he was like, you don't need to. to do that. That's not.

Which for anyone that's anybody, that's what the really big worms are called. They're the shy ha lewd. Yeah. So you had a big, oh, okay, because you wanted his worm. Yeah, and I said lewd, like L-E-W-D. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. He, I feel like, didn't appreciate enough. And I said you should really just be like losing your mind of the fact that I am now able to make a Dune fuck joke, which is the only reason why I'm trying to get to know Dune in the first place. Yeah, that demonstrates enough textual understanding for you to be absolved of reading the actual books. Thank you.

And I, and I, hopefully, I never have to because it's just too much. But there is something I would like to be doing if I had $750. And that would be buying the Tony Gatchi! Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. Is it a Tony Soprano Tomogachi? The answer is yes. I love it. this is great.

I thought that it was something from like the past. It would have made sense because Tamagachis and the Sopranos about the same time here. We're talking late 90s but it is, but also I know Tamagacchi's are back

which I know because my kids keep asking me what's a Tamagachi and they're learning about it on YouTube. Oh no. Then you're just going to start buying them for them they're going to start losing them and they're going to cry and they have to take care of it. I literally, I remember having a Tomagachi

and I would give it to my sister and my sister would take care of my tomagocchi when she would go to work and I would go to school and then like she would be so like if she killed one of like my babies while I was at school, I'd be so upset and she's like Jackie, I literally have to work. I cannot. And I would give her like three or four tomagotchis at a time like keep them all alive while I go to school because we weren't allowed to bring tomagoshies into the classroom. Oh, I remember. I remember. I also had a gigapet. Oh my god, that had a gigapet too. Gigapets were worse than Tamagatchez.

Yes, they were. But you could get a little dinosaur. Yeah. Yeah, but now you can get a little Tony Soprana. I want one so badly. You can feed them a little Gaba Gould, and you can take them to like, he has like family dinners and stuff.

Yeah? And I want one so bad except until I saw the $750. Yeah, crane. It's already sold out. It's already sold out, which also, man, it's things like that, when we talk about having, like stupid money and what you would do,

sadly enough, this is the kind of stuff that I would buy. Totally. I would try to like get this. I thought that you were going to talk about the Andrew Kegan story because if I had stupid money, I also would, I wouldn't start a cult, but I've always wanted to start a community center. So if I had stupid money,

I would totally be like, yeah, I'll buy the old Harry Krishna temple like Andrew Kegan did, and I'll just turn it into a community center. And then I think he did accidentally start a bit of a cult. He kind of started a call. I love this. He comes out. Andrew Keegan,

you guys remember Andrew Keegan. He was like the kind of bad guy, kind of asshole. Like, I feel like even the dude, like the kind of hymbo and Lizzie McGuire looked just like Andrew Keegan,

but which is like a playoff Andrew Keegan. There was a lot of Andrew Keegan types. And in addition to Andrew Keegan himself, there was like he was like a, the friend on Boy Meets World type of type, you know. Yes. And like, yeah, the kind of dude that would date Gia from a full

house. Yes. Yes. Yes. I think that Andrew, I'm looking now to see if he was ever on any of those 90s sitcoms, because I know his big claim to fame was getting to hate about you. Yeah. But he was just every, he was ubiquitous in the 90s as like, yeah, like the hot teenage bad boy, you know. Was he in camp nowhere? I have a feeling he was in camp nowhere, if I remember correctly. I'm bringing up his IMDB right now because it's all, yeah, all of his IMDB is like more recent movies and I'm like, I want to know what your worst television credits are because I feel like I knew you really well. Yes. Also, he was in Camp Nowhere, by the way. Okay, good, good memory. So this story, I think it's kind of fun because Andrew Geekin came out to be like, hey guys, I know everybody on the internet has been saying that I'm a cult leader, but I'm like totally not a cult leader. I just run this really cool, very intricate community center where we all see each other all the time and yes I may be in charge of it

and yes maybe we all hang out and we like meditate and maybe we all like lay on each other but it's not a call well this actually maybe I always say it's a call this article it made me when he got into the history of it I thought about MJ because it came from the Occupy culture yeah he went down

to Occupy L.A and was like this is great and I was just talking to somebody else who was in L.A. during Occupy and was like L.A. Occupy was cool but it didn't really have like a home bay it didn't like coalesce the way that Zuccotti. The way that Right, exactly. Also, by the way, Andrew Kagan was in Boy Meets World and Full House. That's why I think about him as a 90s sitcom bad boy because he was. He was, man. But yeah, he went to Occupy and it started, it honestly sounds like the exact way that I would start a cult if I did. Because it's like, hey, like there's a much cool like lefties hang around. They need a place to go. I'm Andrew Kegan. There's an empty Hari Krishna temple sitting around. I'll buy it. And like, it's like I was reading this and it was like, I want to really.

root for you, but that he does seem to have kind of disappeared and become a slightly cult-like figure. So I think it may have been a bit of a wops on his part. But it was kind of what, it was this interesting moment in time that you were directly a part of MJ, that we were on the outskirts up, but like new people who were all starting to essentially create a new civilization for a little while. It was almost what it felt like where like just all these people were getting together out in the streets with tents and being like, nope, we're not doing things the way you want to do it. And so that's a lot of times how cult stuff gets formed. You know what I mean?

Right. There was a lot of utopian, you know, kind of idealism and stuff at Occupy, which was what was so thrilling about it, but also totally separately. Right. Colts sometimes have a lot of utopian inspiration as well. I mean, wasn't Brian Jonestown or the Brian Jones stuff? Yeah, Joe says also started like a liberal ideal. Yeah. We think go. and they're building in society together. This is my problem in watching every once in a while

I feel like when I'm watching these cult documentaries like I felt that way while I was watching Love has won the cult of Mother God. I feel like it's that when you look at a cult and you're like, bro,

I would so easily fall into this cult. Well, that one more than any of them because that one was literally, I like how Henry put it, it's like if the party house became a cult. Yes. It's like a house of chaos

in college. If that just like we just got spiritual with it. Yeah, and we started just down in colloidal silver and we're all turning blue and we're singing the song. And I think hopefully once I'm being told I should be drinking colloidal silver,

hopefully that's when I'd realize like, oh, I think this is a cult. I should probably get out of it. But I think at that point you might be too late. But sometimes I really enjoy watching cult documentaries just to be like, man, there was a time in my life where I could have easily fallen into this. Totally.

Well, and they speak to something that like most people want, which is to be like, have a purpose. Yeah, acceptance. Part of a group, a meaningful group, have meaning in your life, have a guiding ideology that, like, you know,

gives your life purpose. And I just think it's funny that like the bad boy friend from the 90s sitcoms is like, what if it's me? Right. But again, I don't even, it's not even clear that he had any nefarious intentions.

I think it doesn't help that it was an old Harry Krishna temple because that already kind of it gives it a little bit of cult-a-thet feeling. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, No, and I would add on to the cold things, I'm also fascinated by these documentaries. Everybody wants,

it's so funny because life is special and amazing on its own, but it's also a grind and it's these ways. I think everybody wants things to be more special than they are, and they want to also be like, I've got the secret. I've got the secret. It's the same thing as your annoying friend who fell in love for the first time,

who thinks that they get love on a level that no one else has, and they act, and they walk around before it all goes to shit, because it always does go to shit with that relationship, and gleefully we watch it happen. Now, sometimes publicly on social media.

They go on, they're like, that you hanging out with your annoying friend, and they're like, I just, I don't know, I just got the secret. You don't have the secret. Oh my God, and when they pretend like they're better than you, and you just have to sit and listen,

you're like, I'm going to watch it all implode. Yep, and you don't even know yet. Yep, you're just like, yeah, this is called the honeymoon. in phase. Welcome to it. This is clearly your first one. Man, it's fun to watch those fucking relationships fall apart. Dude, God, I hate that vibe. Nothing makes me more annoyed than that vibe. Yes. Of like, of like, we've got to, I love, I've got the secret. Yeah. Not a secret, just

the secret. And they're all just like, yeah, I feel bad for you guys, you know, because you just don't have with me. This is how everyone on love is blind is. Oh my God, bro, bro. When they're like... Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Are we talking about this now or will this be, is this leftovers talk? Are we getting into it now?

We get into it now. We got a sluggled. All right, couple sprinkles. Couple sprinkles. Couple sprinkles. Couple sprinkles. For people that are not on Patreon of where we're at in love is blind, I can't believe it. MJ, I'm really proud of you.

You watched all six episodes. I'm floored. I'm winning. I'm floored. I'm floored because, yeah. This is the first time I've ever been ahead of these two. I'm in the fifth episode. So I'm not.

far behind, but still. And this is our priority show. Like, we are not watching anything else. There's nothing else in the docket because when love is blind is happening, I can't not. I feel fulfilled in my life when love is blind is on in a way that I don't when love is blind is not on. Talk about a cult. I feel more meaning in my life from having love is blind to look forward to at the end of the day.

It is the perfect reality show. And yes, it's predatory. And yes, it's exploited. And yes, those people, they don't have. have any water. And they don't have any water. They don't have any water. And they're just drinking constantly.

They're barely eating. I love how much in this season. They're like, no, they eat. I know that all of these like many trials are now saying that we don't give them enough food. But look, they have a sushi date. I know. Several unnamed sources have gone on to talk about the horrific labor conditions. But yeah, now it's like, well, okay, we'll feed you in the pods.

We'll give you some raw fish in the pods, like a, like a seal. We know that it's bad. okay, but like, man, my biggest takeaway from Love is Blind is just like, I really feel like my life really changed when I stopped being insecure and got confidence, like my entire, like there was before I started getting real, yeah, and after I had confidence. And I feel like Love is Blind is a cautionary tale about insecurity because everyone on Love is blind is the most insecure person you could possibly conjure into, it's like a genie was like, what if we could personify insecurity. And so you have these insecure people and then some fucking idiot will be like,

you know, I think I might like you. And then that insecure person is like, ah, and then their entire life has meaning. They think they see life for the first time. They're smelling flowers for the first. And I'm just like, oh, honey, it's just, it's just, you just need someone to tell you that you deserve love. And you do. Yes. But it's not coming from this person. Yeah, but MJ, every time A.D. sees a red flag she paints her nails to match. And that line, I can't unhear. I'm obsessed with, I wish I was still in the dating world because I think if I had a dating profile, I would put on if I see a red flag, I will paint my nails to match.

Just because for the stories, just to see what that scrounges up. You know what I mean? Well, she's in the right place. Oh, man, is she? Oh, is she? Man, AD was so, I'm sorry. Holden's not there yet, but, oh, no, you are there. 80 was so close to making the wrong decision.

This is the first time on Love is Blind where there's been someone who seems like they might actually have bodies in their basement, like truly a serial killer behavior. Yeah, just immediately. What's his name? Matt. Matthew. Matthew.

Just immediately so sketchy, dude. He has body. He wears a skin suit. When he would just walk out when like he would start feeling like or like a conversation would start and he would just like get up and walk out. Yeah. And like he just could which, okay.

Again, everyone's got their own issues. They're all coming into this. But like, why did that dude sign up for this show? Yeah. You know what the show is? Exactly. Have you never seen Love is blind? That's the thing.

It's also a fascinating show because, of course, it started in March 2020 when the entire world was losing their fucking mind because of the pandemic. And it just so happened, even though it was obviously filmed before the pandemic, it was this weirdly perfect pandemic show because nobody could be together. Everyone is in a pod. And so even though it's been four years since then, there's still this feeling of like, there's no other show like this.

But also, at this point, have you never seen Love is Blind people? People on the show? Like, of course, first of all, everyone's gonna be like a baseline level of hot. So you don't need to worry about that. Everyone's trying to do the thing where they're like, so are you hot?

Are you fat? Are you ugly? You know, like, and it's like, everyone's baseline hot. But then, yeah, the whole point, everyone on the show is acting like I've never seen the show before. People, it's season six.

Clay openly says he's like, I've never seen the show before, so I didn't know what to expect. Okay, even when you're auditioning for a show and it's a show that has already started coming out, you watch at least an episode of the show to understand the tone when you're going for an audition. You should watch it.

It's the 90-day fiance trope of like, so you want to be with this person who's from a completely another country, and before you flew to that country, you didn't take a minute, to just like simply Google, like, Wikipedia even, just like the basics of that country of what the culture is like there.

You just didn't want to do that? And Clay is so funny because he's like, I'm a pretty superficial guy. I need a very specific looking lady. And it's just like, don't be on the show. You're a little spikopat. Why would you go on this show then? I'm really into looks.

Get off the show. Not the point. But you're just like, oh, I'm just going to roll the dice and, like, hope I win the lottery, essentially, at that point. But, man, the other, and I know we got to get to the conspiracy, but the biggest takeaway, you're on love is blind, guys. If you're on love is blind, don't pick an extremely hot celebrity to compare yourself to. Right.

Because, girl, you're setting up your partner for disappointment. Because she's a beautiful woman, but she doesn't look like Megan Fatt. Like, I, like, don't set your, like, it's the same way when we always talk about dating apps, when like why put a picture of something you looked like 10 years ago? This is exactly what I said, Jackie. Right? And they're going to immediately look, like on their face, you were going to see physical disappointment.

You don't, yes. You have set yourself up for failure. This is exactly what I said, Jackie. I was like, this is the equivalent of putting only like shots that don't actually show your face or your body on a dating app and then showing up and then seeing the person's real-time disappointment. It's like this, yeah, this girl, I mean, she is talking about Instagram. security.

But she's gorgeous. She's a beautiful woman. There's no, like, yes. Totally. She's beautiful. But the minute you say I look like Megan Fox, you don't look like Megan Fox. Nobody looks like Megan Fox. I was like, I was like, and then we got to a little bit of a back and forth because

Lexi doesn't think Sidney's, like the hottest dick girl right now or whatever. But I was like, well, she is. But I was like, it's like picking Sydney Sweetie. It's like picking the beacon of hotness. Yeah. It's picking the ultimate. Of all the hot people. Or of all the celebrities, rather.

Yeah. that you could look like. You just picked like the one that's an icon for being like the hottest celebrity, you know, is just hilarious to me. It's like being like, yeah, at the little time I look like Sidney's sweetie. Right. I look like the hottest person of all of the hot famous people. In 2024, it's like a crazy thing to say, especially if you don't look like her, you know, like her, like her.

But anyways, all right, we got to get to the celebrity conspiracy. Hey, me with the share. Do you believe it? I'm surprised your name wasn't invoked. in the episode because there is a separate whole other article to talk about in the leftovers with her. But the curious case, we haven't actually addressed this, of Hilaria's moon bump. And it was more just because I went down the rabbit hole of moon bumps. By the way, we'll get into that in just a second.

This one comes here from Catherine who writes, hello page seven pairs social friends. I am on the snail mucin train and the porch goose train. Yes. I hope Jackie has seen the hot dog costume I just ordered for my goose glinda. Oh my God, is it like a hot dog costume that I literally have sitting right over ear on the floor right now? Oh shit.

That my husband purchased for me? Yeah, I believe it is. The goose outfit game is a small world, okay? Many of our geese are dressed similarly. And that's what we all right. It's great. No, it's great. I love it.

Also, I'm too stone to write this all out, but Holden should look up the moon bump conspiracy on Hilaria's Reddit page. Basically, they, and I believe, she just has a face pregnancy bump and surrogates. or she just has a pregnancy bump in surrogates, which is why she bounces back so quickly.

Anyway, Love Light and Portuguese vibes best Catherine. So I dug deeper on this. First of all, I love sub, like normally a subreddit with the name of something like R. Last Podcasts on the Left or Ours, you know, golf or whatever. It's people go there who are fans of the thing. So it always cracks me up when there's a dedicated subreddit to, with the name of the person, and it's all just haters.

It's all just people who hate. The fighter and the kid, the podcast is another one of those. We're like, they just shit on the podcast. And what's his name? Who co-hosted all the time. And this is one of those. So are Hilaria Baldwin. It's a fantastic place where many have gathered to attempt to get to the bottom of

Hilaria's lies. Be careful, Holden. She sends the private detectives over there to spy on the people in the Reddit. She reads the Reddit. They're even trying to like get her kicked off of Instagram for good. Like, I mean, It's an army building over there. It's great.

So one of their big theories centers around Hilaria's use of a moon bump when she's supposed to be quote-to-quote pregnant, while in reality she uses a surrogate, which is how she's been able to pump them out so rapidly and recover so quickly. So moon bump is actually the name of the company. And there's a website. They sell these moon bumps. It's the about them. Specialist suppliers of high-quality handcrafted to order fake pregnant bellies for

film, TV, and theater productions. Okay. And private clients worldwide since 2000. And private clients worldwide since 2009. That's interesting, an interesting addition. Private clients. Back in 2011, she posted a pick on the gram of herself with a big old bump and wrote the caption, My friends made a good point about my belly. Dot, dot, dot.

It kind of looks fake. Kolin a love story. Whoa, Colin a love story. Like, I ate a ball. guess the psycho conspiracy theorists online with way to much time on their hands have somewhat of a point here. And then she continued, now you guys can go share links and theories as to what kind of ball it was that I ate. Hope you can come up with options that taste good. Dot, dot, dot, P.S. Chocolate is my fave. What? Dot. What? Dot. Wow. I, okay, I also,

I also have to point out that in the description of the Hilaria Baldwin subreddit, it says Rachel Dole is all walked so Hilaria could run, which has me dying. Yeah, this is interesting, though, because as I, using myself as the only data point, I had like a basketball tummy for my first pregnancy, but my second pregnancy I carried very differently when I was like, you know, hearing about this, talking, reading or whatever, a lot of people say that subsequent pregnancies after your first, carry very differently because your ab muscles are so stretched out. I also had a C-section for my first, so I don't know if that.

Destroyed, yeah. Yeah, they're shredded. I often just talk about my shredded core. Yeah, which is kind of fun. Oh, it's like, oh, it's like, do you work amongst the teenage mutant ninja turtles? And that's kind of cute. Right, like either it's rock hard or it is destroyed and it's the second. But, yeah, it is interesting that she just was like, oh, me, I can just do seven pregnancies and each one tighter than the last.

So it does, it's raising some flags to me. Absolutely. It is very odd. And it also just was fun to go down this moon bump rabbit hole. Because, yeah, you can go on this website. There's all, they supply, they are, I guess, the pregnancy belly suppliers. What an interesting niche. They have all different.

Someone's got to do it. All different skin tones. But I just wonder, I mean, because these guys, they're like, we have clients all over the world, and I'm just like, how many people are you helping to fake pregnancies? Yeah. Is that interesting? Yeah.

Like, I would love to know the numbers on that. Like, how many people are you supplying with moon bumps that aren't in film or theater? Like, I would love to get that number in front of me, but interesting. They hold the keys. Do you believe? Yeah. I believe. I believe.

All right. There you go. I know. I feel like it's one that I feel like we've done before, but we just technically haven't because we just shit on her so much. So it was fun to finally address it. No, we've never discussed moon bumps.

I love bringing it. I mean, I didn't know anything about it. So this is great. There you go. Thank you, Holden. You're welcome. And thank you. Who sent in the conspiracy?

Was that Catherine? I believe it was Catherine. Thank you, Catherine. And hold on your butt, Catherine. Because it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Me. Jackie.

Got to have that. I want to bleach my eyes. After reading the 17 absolutely disgusting behind the scenes facts about movies, that is the entire title of the list. It really is. For those of you that were wondering, for the scene in the paper boy, which I have not seen this movie,

but now I am intrigued by it, where Jack gets stung by a jellyfish, Nicole Kidman peed on Zach Ephron for real. That's got to be something that he's really proud of. Yes. Director Lee Daniel said, we just went for it, never thought twice about it because it made sense for the film. It was what it was.

I think that I became more nervous about it in the edit room and I thought, I'm not actually going to show this, right? Is it vulgar? And I called Nicole and said, I don't know. And she said, Lee, you made me pee on Zach Efron. If you don't put it in the movie, you need to man up. And I was like, all right, I guess I'm not going to pussy out. So I appreciate the fact that he called Nicole Kidman to like re-up on it of like,

okay, we're all still good with this. Is it cool if I go through with this? and, you know, good on them. Hell, yeah. Yeah, it's funny that he was like, didn't think about it at the time of filming, but afterwards was like, should I have not made the Cole Kimman piss on Zach Ephron?

Do you do this? Or, I mean, sometimes you just got to get into character, like being called Abraham Lincoln for many, many months, or to get into character for jungle fever, Hallie Berry didn't shower or take a bath for two weeks. She said, nobody said anything to me, but everybody sort of started to keep their distance. It was an experience.

That was my attempt at method acting. And I'm glad she didn't try any method acting for Catwoman. The Lord knows how that would have gone. Yikes. Now, we know that this was yucky. I think everyone knows that during the prom scene in Carrie, Sissy Spacec wanted the blood on her dress to look consistent from day to day. So I knew that it was pig's blood.

But I did not know that for three days, she slept in the bloody dress in a trailer behind MGM Studios so as not to disturb the blood on her. dress. This one of those old stories. I'm like, how does that even work? That makes no sense. That's, yes. That's, I think that this item maybe has appeared. This is like, I feel like this has come up before because I also had the same question. I'm like, what do you mean? Why not just not watch the dress, but take it off? Take it off. Take it off. Because it would change. She can't. I guess it's like, because then it's like how the blood rests on her body and stuff like that. But I feel like nowadays, we can recreate that. Yeah. I think it's different now, you know? But I like that she really, man, she really gave into the craft of it. She sure did. No, she gave into the carry of it, Jackie.

Come on. Or in a very similar way, while filming the Texas chainsaw masker, Gunner Hansen, who played Leatherface, was forbidden from washing his costume. He wore it for 12 hours a day in heat that reached over 100 degrees. Yikes. And just imagine, because already, you know, like this next fact goes on to explain, that there was a lot of yucky things going on in Texas Chainsaw Masker. What?

During the filming of Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Yes. That apparently the scene where Grandpa sucks blood from Sally's finger, they were meant to use a fake knife that dispensed fake blood. However, when the prop didn't work, Gunner cut actor Marilyn Burns his finger, and John Dugan unknowingly sucked on her real blood. Ah! Ah!

No, thank you! And honestly, those, both of those kind of makes this scene. in comparison was the fact that on the table during the dinner scene in Texas chainsaw massacre, there were real rotting animal carcasses. They shot for 26 hours straight in 100 plus degree heat, causing many people to run out for fresh air between takes. Good Lord. That movie just has such a raw, visceral quality to it.

So all of these things make so much sense to me because it was just, it's legitimately disturbing on a level that so many horror movies like wish they could get to. Oh, yeah. Honestly, I think that it really does add besides the fact that, again, I think this is another fact that everybody knows, but it adds into like the whole lore of poltergeist. What makes poltergeist an even scarier movie besides the fact that Craig T. Nelson, why didn't you marry me? The second thing is the fact that there were real skeletons during the whole pool scene when you move the graves, but you didn't move the bodies. Those bodies were real. And I think that that truly added to the actual, like, brutality.

Oh, yeah. Like, I mean, I say brutality. I know there's no, like, blood or anything, but that is, that scene, like, was, I mean, between that and the face falling apart scene in the mirror. I think were two scenes that really stood, they really stuck with me. That's such a good. Oh, yeah. Having watched Poltergeist.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I tell you, it made it scary. What's also very scary is how much. much and how easily Leonardo DiCaprio could have died on the set of the Revenant. Now, we know that he was doing a method acting route, but he told Yahoo, whether it's going in and out of frozen rivers or sleeping in animal carcasses or what I ate on set, I certainly don't eat raw bison liver on a regular basis. Also, he had gotten almost hypothermia. He was actually sleeping inside of animal carcasses. And he really went there because, man, he was really trying

to get that off. Yeah, wait, did he get it too? Did he win it? Oh, he did get it. All right. So, thank God. Sometimes I get happy that these actors win just so they can like stop being so fucking extra. Yeah, chill out. Your thing. You didn't get it for Titanic. You chased it for another 20 years. Just get your thing and then stop making these movies. Yeah. Let's, we got it. Stop eating raw bison liver. Yeah. Just do something fun. Do some silly. Some silly for us, Leo, something silly, you know. And you know, who could also do something a little silly for us, Cage. I guess I love that he put himself to this task. For Vampire's Kiss, Nicholas Cage told Director Robert Bierman, the thing I hate most in the world are cockroaches. They are my

Room 101. So let me eat a cockroach. The director readily made it happen and the actor munched a cockroach on camera. Robert told the ringer, he wanted to eat the most frightening thing for him. I thought, this is terrific. I sent my prop people down into the boiler room. brought me a box, divided up into little sections with tissue paper. The cockroaches were there then lined up for me to cast. I think they're actually called water bugs. They're bigger than cockroaches. Yeah. I'm not going to continue on because it's truly, he had to like wash out his mouth with a hundred proof vodka after every take. And all of that sounds like, I think like a true actual nightmare. And I will say vampires guess, great movie. If you have not seen

Vampires Kiss. You need to stop everything. I have not seen it. Dude. And honestly, it's definitely the kind of movie. Watch it alone if that's the way you got to do it. Or get some friends together. Get some hunter-proof vodka and fucking go to town and eat Cockroars.

It is so fun. Really? It is the craziest Nick Cage performance maybe ever. Yes. Wow. It's great. That's saying a lot. He will never cease to surprise you.

would make you laugh and make you go like, oh my God. Like every scene he is just chewing the scenery so fucking hard. It is incredible this movie. He's so good in it. Honestly, I think you'd really enjoy it, MJ. Okay. It's schlucky. Oh, yeah.

It's so weird. A schlucky Nick Cage movie is my favorite type of movie. It's plotless. It's just crazy. It's crazy. Wow. And last but not least, talk about eating something that makes you want to do. A lot of maggot eating, just back to back to back.

That is literally what I was about to read. Finally, while filming the spawn scene where clown eats maggot pizza, John Leguizamo said, fuck it, I'll eat it. Don't bring out the plastic things. It's not going to have the same effect when you cut to something, and they're not moving. Oh, my God. So he ate the maggots.

Just like, just like for, it's so crazy that Nick Cage did that for Vampires Kiss. It's insane that Leguzava did this for Spongers. What a wild, wild one for that. That's, man, what a movie. I will say, though, I saw Spawn in the movie theater the weekend it came out, and my friend and I loved it. So whatever. Do I need to rewatch Spawn?

Probably not, but. I just saw the picture of, I forgot what John, like, was almost looked like in Spawn. Yes. Oh, man. The Violator. I mean, I was an avid reader of the comic books. I was like my edgy kid, my Edge Lord Kid thing that I was into, like, in fourth grade. I, like, collected every Spawn.

Hell yeah. Up through, like, issue, like, four. I think I got to and then I finally stopped. Oh my God, this makes me think. This is coming from the woman that watched Madame Webb over the weekend, which we are going to talk about on the leftovers. Oh, please. I'm dying to hear about that.

Yeah, absolutely. All right. Well, I'm so excited, guys, because I cannot see. I think I'm going. Blind. Item. Oh, we can't see them. The permanent A-list Rappers Company is supposed to be in charge of all halftime shows.

He is not a fan of the A-plus. Leslie Singer who will only have finished her tour about two months prior to the next Super Bowl. The NFL owners want her, want her, which means there, duh, which means there will be a big fight between the rapper and the owners. He wants a team so much, though, that he will back down. Tay. Tay, of course. Tay. Tay. Yes, Oves. Which I don't think she would do it. I really don't, I can't imagine she'd do it. And what rhymes with Tay? Dre. No. Yay. No. What? Well, I'm just really how many rappers have this same. Jay, Jay Z?

Jay Z. Jay's Rock Nation has been running the halftime show for the past five years. And I think it's interesting. And he doesn't like Tay. I mean, the world will implode if Taylor Swift signs on to do the halftime show, especially if fucking Lord knows if the Chiefs yet again. The odds of that happening would be crazy. But if the Chiefs got into the Super Bowl again,

and Taylor is the halftime show, that is going to be like literally like the earth will stop. It will be so crazy. I want it just for the spectacle. Not because I worship any of these people, but I just want it for the spectacle. Come on. Her doing a halftime show,

I feel like that whatever city she's in, she would cause like a seismic disruption. Yeah. Also, you got to think about this. Travis Kelsey is old in football years. He only has a couple years left. Wow. So it's going to happen.

I mean, we're also, this is assuming they're still going to be together next year, which is a big assumption. They're getting married, dude. Are you kidding? This is the one. You think so? Everyone's saying it. Everyone knows it. MJ, everyone knows.

Everyone knows. Okay. So get out your head out of, stop ostriching for two seconds. All right. Get your head out of that dirty mud. Oh, good ostrich noise. Is that what they've, I don't know what they say. Right?

Yeah. They're like, just do Mariah Carey as a feature on an Ariana Grandy song. This is me. Grandy, Grandy, Ariana Grandy. This A-List singer-songwriter with the repeating first name came to a Vegas party last night, drunk. drank some more, threw it all up, and drank even more. Cheetos out a party. A repeating first name.

Yeah, all right. This might be a little. tougher, so I'm going to give you some obvious hints. Loved the movie Blanks Kids back in the day. Loved that animated film. Ike experience. BB Rexa?

Yes. Babeba's kids. I got it. Babeba's kids. It was Babeba's kids. And then Bebebe, but it's not Bebe, it's Bebe. And I, you know what? Holden, I follow you.

Thank you. That was really a sign of your two synchronicity. Yes, absolutely. I'm going to need you to explain this one to me because I don't know a lot about Baby Rexa. So yeah, what's still? I mean, she's, she's pop star, had a couple of hits. Yeah. And she recently attended a Sports Illustrated Super Bowl

party at XS Nightclub in Encore Hotel in Las Vegas. It was where I stayed when I went there. It's a very fancy hotel. Henry gave it as a discount or whatever. It was still so expensive, though, even with the discount. The picture taken of her for this is hilarious. It is literally her licking a bottle, a full bottle of Captain work in this. Whoa.

Hell yeah. That was the funniest part of the whole thing was that you clicked on the article and the picture of her, it was just a picture of her going like, like clearly, clearly faced just upon arrival. So I thought that was a fun one for that. I love that.

I was like, I know that she got hit in the head by something on stage. I know she was like BB Rex was one of those. Oh, that's where we talked about her recently. That's what it is. Yeah. And just Babeay's kids. Remember that? I mean, she looks like a lady.

She looks like a lady who would show up to a party and polish off a thing of Captain Morgan. Yes. Honestly, she looks like someone I want to party. Yes. Big time. All right, last one. Filed under bad decisions by movie studios.

The Mouse House already signed this A-list actor to reprise his role and are going to have to pay him. But for some reason, wanting the cooking show actress to replace him. They want the cooking show actors to replace them. This is such a weird one. Okay. Cooking show, but it's like a show on TV.

Not a, or not a like cooking show like. Parasilton. No, like not like a cooking show. Oh, a press. The bear. Yes, the bear. Ah. Okay.

It's Mouse House movie. It's a movie about people who like to ride boats. The man, the A-list actor they signed on is very controversial. now because of different things. He likes wine. The actress. Johnny Depp. Yes.

What's the movie franchise? The boat one, Pirates. Pirates of the Caribbean six. Weirdly... Another six! Yes. I can't believe they're still making these movies. And then what's an actress?

Wait, should I also sidebar? Should I be watching these movies? Are they like low-key, genuinely funny and great? I kind of... All right, let's finish the blind out because this is actually what I wanted to do. to talk to you guys about because I'm so like I've never gotten

into these and Johnny Depp as being a huge star is so tied to this franchise as part of his stardom and I don't get it who's the actress though who's the obvious actress from the Barry? I owe I know could you imagine her as Jack Sparrow's

replacement as his replacement fully like I mean I'll watch it I will definitely watch awesome that's fine with me that would be so fun if she replaced him. That's great. Yeah. And I'm sure he will then say they will not replace us. But you know what, Johnny, they will replace you. Um, yeah. So you guys were never lustful over Johnny Depp and Pirates of the Caribbean. No. Is, okay, me neither. I never, like, it never did anything for me. But I do, I feel like people, like, I respect people's love for it. Right. Like it's, see, I never hated us. Yes. Yeah. And I'm more in love with like the Benny and June, what's eating Gilbert grape Johnny Depp. That's my era of deptom here. But I never really got quite into it.

And I never cared about it. And I think that like especially it started getting really popular around the time. I think MJ when you and I both were in that phase of like, I don't like what everybody else. Yes. We are not like the other girls. Yeah, I was like, I remember what like, I think in high school orchestra, we like played the theme or something.

And I was like, okay, this music is like great. And I like get, I just, I, yeah, I, I was like, I was just like this, I don't get it. But then in my current non-hater stage, I'm like, I have no way on a monocity towards those movies. I think it's fun how much people love them. But also it was weird how many Pirates of the Caribbean memes were part of the Depp herd trial. Right. So it's a little bit tainted for me.

Yeah. I don't know. And my big, yeah, I get it. Because my big problem was that Orlando Bloom didn't look like Legalus. And so everyone's like, but Orlando Bloom is in. I'm like, but he's not Legalus. I'm in love with Legolas. I'm not in love with Orlando Bloom.

There's a big difference. Yeah. Yeah, I just feel like it's, I don't know, I feel like it would be amazing to recast it with I.O., but it is such a project that is inseparable from Johnny Depp that I feel like if you didn't have previous strong feelings about it, maybe you could get new ones. If you did have previous strong feelings about it,

I imagine it might be hard for those people to let go of Johnny as the, you know, as the, and also the Depp herd trial was so polarizing. I don't even know. There's also that. Yeah. Like there's probably a whole portion of the population who either would watch it no matter what or wouldn't watch it because Johnny Depp wasn't there.

You know what it? It's like a whole, it's a landmine. It's a whole thing. But I'll watch it explode. I just, I will totally watch AEO lead a pirate movie. That would be great. And that's what I want her to, like, I just, I desperately hope that they will, that casting directors will see, like, how.

fun it will be to put her in roles like that, you know, because she's so funny. And I really hope that she gets to be a fun. There's so few, like, I feel like leading women who also get to be very, very, very funny. Bro, watch bottoms. Yeah. You both need to watch bottoms. It is, like, again, it's being able to make those kind of comedies still. And it was delightful.

All right, I can see you again. Welcome back. Hey, it's good. It's good to be back. Oh my God. And thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode of page seven. I have an absolute delight, even though technically my heart is broken because J-Lo did not actually sing in Selena. But, you know, I'm just going to compartmentalize that for right now, and that's a trauma I'm going to deal with for just a different day. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram of Jack That Worm.

You can come hang out with, oh my God, MJ and I, if you want, you can come hang out on Wednesday mornings. MJ and I are streaming the Sims over on Twitch.com. T.V. forward slash, oh no, it's Jackie. Every Wednesday morning, I start at 8.30 a.m. MJ starts at 11.30. Come hang out with us for a couple of hours where we have really chill experience and MJ starts learning all the ins and outs

of the Sims 4. There you go. Check out Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. We are doing our Buffy watchalongs. Every week for a $10 at the $10 tier, you can be a video feed watch along. You can get over there at that layer. But at $5, there's so much stuff too.

The weekly bonus episodes, the leftovers, we're going to be getting more into Love is Blind, more talk about everything. All these different articles we have left on the dance floor where murder happens. So check us out on that, Patreon.com forward slash pace of a podcast and Jackie's Book Club and ad free episodes in the main feed. It's a crazy value ad for five bucks. And then if you are wanting to get into that Buffy life, 10 bucks a month, and you can enjoy the weekly video watch along. that we do. They drop every Tuesday morning. Also, also, Twitch.tv.TV forward slash Holtenatorsho. Twitch.tv.tv.4 slash Holtenatures ho. I stream all throughout the week, but the big main event is Jacket with the Holies on Fridays. We watched this past week. Hey, we had MJ on. This is

me. Dot, dot, dot, dot. Now, Colin the Love Story. It was amazing. drinks are always had. It's always fun. 9 p.m. ET, I'm sorry, 6 p.m. ET over there on Twitch.com. TV forward slash Holdenators so MJ? My name is MJ and I'm MJ K L Kat on Instagram. All right, bye everybody. Oh, wait, no. Oh, God, where am I? Where is my freaking head?

Sing the damn song to me. Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. Come on. What's up, everybody? Just want to say thank you so much for sending in your shoutouts to page 7 podcasts at gmail.com.

Oh, we just cherish every single email that we get. I just want to say thank you so much for taking the time and whether you're writing in shoutouts or conspiracy theories or blind items or, you know, you're just sending in your high hellos, or you're like AGK and you want to validate our Tom Cruise fish fuckery theories when it comes to reservation dogs. And apparently we need to check out season two episode eight where Tom Cruise fucks fish. That's not what happens in the show.

But thank you so much, AGK. for letting us know that obviously our theories are valid in some capacity. But also, thank you so much for taking the time to send in your shoutouts. Our first shoutout goes to M. Hinchie from our amazing chat. And I just want to say, I'm so excited that you love using your ritual planner. Is that how you say it? I've never said it aloud before. But I've also been using mine, and I'm going to be documenting that over on my Instagram fairly soon.

but also M&G just wanted to send in a shout-out. The dog days of winter have kind of been shitting on my carpet lately. I just want to, I love that phrase. And I'm feeling like a little self-shout might help boost my mood. When I started listening to page 7 roundtable and all things LPN seven years ago, oh my God, I was in the height of my drinking. Oh, the jack-in-streams where I drunkenly attempted to type funny quips in chat, riddled with misspellings and possibly, probably offensive remarks.

You all weirdly kept me company while I tried to figure shit out. You got me through some dark times. Who knows what would have happened if I had felt more alone on some of those nights when I had podcasts and streams to distract me. Ah, I'm sending you so much love and hugs! Listening to backlogged episodes and quite literally hearing you, MJ and Holden grow up is wild. When you have years of episodes and growth crammed into weeks slash months worth of listening, a weird thing happens where you feel like you've known people you've never met for your whole life?

All of your openness is what draws people to you. I couldn't care less about most pop culture stuff. There I said it. But I'm invested in Jackie Holden and MJ, and I don't know if I can say that about any other podcasts. Ah! The community you have all built is shocking, really, especially given the bridge-dwelling nature of so many pod fans.

But here, it isn't like that. It's open and accepting and can pull you through some pretty gnarly stuff. and I can't thank you enough for that. Sharing your highest highs and your lowest lows isn't easy, but your vulnerability and honesty truly changes people's lives. Stop! I mean, don't, but also thank you so much for saying that. But back to me and how badass I am for ditching the sauce.

I quit drinking November 1st, 2021, and I am so damn proud of myself. I'm proud of you too. I read the Alan Carr book recommended by Holden and quit smoking as well, which also, Alan Carr's easy way to quit smoking helped both Holden and I highly recommend it. Ditching most of my unhealthy coping mechanisms and replacing them with healthy coping mechanisms like tarot, journaling, movement, meditation, yoga, and nature keeps me on track and makes my brain squee. So all that to say, thank you, Jackie, Holden and MJ. Thank me.

And thank everyone out there for pushing when you feel like giving up and for growing despite not being given enough sunlight and water in your life. Before I sign off, I want to share a tip that anyone, but especially us addict brains can use. I recently read that cold plunges boost your dopamine more than cocaine, but instead of coming down in nine minutes, the come down doesn't start until three hours later. So guess who's about to go jump in Lake Michigan? Okay, bye. Splash. Oh, my God, please be careful in Lake Michigan, but I'm sending you so much love and thank you so much for your tip and for sharing your journey. I'm so proud of you.

Oh, congratulations. I know every day is a difficult, it can be a difficulty, but it's also a choice. And I'm really proud of you that you choose yourself every day. Because some days it's really fucking hard, sending you so much love. Our next shoutout goes out to Catherine. Catherine says, okay, I've never done this before and almost didn't. But I've worked too hard to sell myself short. Why, I'm already getting emotional.

This time last year, I was in therapy. still trying to figure out how to deal with a breakup with someone of 10 years and feeling the most lost I've ever been. Moving out of the apartment I could no longer afford on my own and heavily self-medicating. Without fully realizing that was even what I was doing because I had been a big partier for so long. Oh my God, Catherine.

I see you. I feel you. Catherine goes on to say, well, on February 23rd, it will be one year since I quit drinking. Oh, my God. drinking, smoking, and snorting shit up my nose all at once and got on antidepressants for the first time in my life. I know my old self is pissed at me for waiting so long.

Catherine, what matters is that you did it and that again, you're choosing you and it's so difficult to do sometimes. Oh, one year since I woke up with crushing guilt and regret, one year since I embarrassed myself and or blacked out, one year since I watched the sun peek through my window wide awake, still wearing last night's clothes. I've been Cali sober ever since, and I really like this version of me.

While I lost some friends, I saw that life didn't end after the party did, and there's so much fucking more to enjoy in this life, which we only get the one shot at. I fell in love with life again and learned how to love myself. I've been a person of tears. I healed my inner child and set healthy boundaries with family members.

I made so many hard decisions this past year, but investing in my health and long-term happiness, former queen of instant gratification here, is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I guess I should also mention that I lost 40 pounds and fell in love with nutrition and exercise because I worked my ass off to get there too, and it seriously changed my life.

The motto I've been living by is, here for a good time and a long time. Okay, I'm fully crying now imagining you reading this Jackie, so I'm going to side off now. Thank you for providing a space for me to give myself this shout-out. I love you guys. And also, yes, MJ is the goat

of adding the perfect songs to their stories on Instagram. And I wanted them to know that. And I did let them know, Catherine, don't worry. And congratulations. Again, you know,

every day it can see, be like, it seems like a slog, but not every day is a slog. And some days it's harder to take care of ourselves and other days, but we can't beat ourselves up for that.

We got this. And if you choose something that is not good for you, it's okay. You can always choose again. There's always another minute to make a better choice for yourself. And we just got to believe in ourselves

and work on ourselves and it's hard. And sometimes it sucks. But I love you and I'm proud of you. Maybe this is too much. But I hope you feel my love. I'm sending you so much good energy. Have an awesome week. And I'll see you guys next week.

Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, Go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.