Page 7 - Ep. 527: Holden Is Missing

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

This week Holden (who is not missing), Jackie and MJ get deep(er) into the Kate Middleton photo conspiracy for the first 20 minutes or so before it's time for THE OSCARS (which Barbie dominated) complete with a live performance of 'I'm Just Ken', Holden gets a two day Twitch ban for Oscar streamin', Sloppenheimer and the beast he created took home Oscars, Paul Giamatti tearing up won Jackie's heart and John Cena brought out the cum storm drains, MJ thinks back to the days of Billy Crystal hosting every Oscars night, and this year's Oscar bags topped out at $178k, but that still won't fill the Oscar sized hole in Bradley Cooper's soul. The Godzilla crew rocked Godzilla shoes and finally they DON'T talk about Love is Blind (but maybe they will on The Leftovers!?), but they do talk about Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Is tryhard Bradley Cooper submitting blinds about Cillian Murphy!? da list, blindz and Sshoutzzzzz Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I guess this song also goes out to Kate Middleton. I'm not sure what was she made for. Isn't she just a doll for you to parade around royal court? No, we are not going, I promise. We're going to talk about the Oscars because, yes, we watch the Oscars together this week. I have been jailed. I have let my freedom ring.

Holden has been jailed. It's Shadow Band. It's been caught. It's not a Shadow Man. It's not just a bad. It's just a real band. It's a very well-communicated band. Directed band.

They tweeted about it. No, I guess there's some bot tweet. I blocked that. I was like, fuck you. What Holden is trying to say is that we watch the Oscars together on the stream and with a bunch of people. And thank you guys so much for coming and hanging out with us while we watched the Oscars. We had a lot of fun.

Yeah. Up until about 10 minutes before the end of the show when Holden's stream got shut down. I mean, honestly, you got taken. Should have been aware. We knew the wrists involved, so it is. Am I to Liam Neeson now? Did you just get taken and I have to go like, Holda's been taken, find you and fight for you? You need to avenge my honor.

I, uh, yeah, I guess we, the wool was over our eyes because we've had very successful Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Watchalongs. Likes me brought up a good point. I feel like a little different about this than like a movie because it's like anyone can get like bunny ears and like watch that on their TV. like it's the most accessible it's ABC so it's like the Oscars yeah yeah so it just was like oh well maybe they just don't give as much of a shit about you know as long as it don't publish the fucking you know publish it those of you that don't know you're not supposed to show streams like that

on a Twitch stream but also many people do it because it is something that is so accessible to watch so anyways uh I'm I'm in jail for 48 hours from Twitch and I feel like what was Holden's a bad boy jail Was he made to be put into a cage? It sounds like he was. The photo of me smiling at the computer, by the way, is doctor. Photoshop. I never had a photo taken saying, hey, everybody, I know I got banned, but I'm fine over here. I was not fine.

And so any doctored photos, you need to not print that AP news. I'm telling you right now. Holden is missing, actually. That's what we're trying to say. This is not Holden. I don't exist until Tuesday night. Hopefully Tuesday night literally win the. band ends. I will go live

and we will break out of this thing. But until then, all doctored photos. Hey, AI Holden. No, now if you're AI Holden, I want to know, A.I. Holden, what do you dream of? Oh, I am an amateur photographer. I dream about my photography. That's interesting. I've never seen you take a picture before

Holden. I love it. I enjoy editing on my photography like most amateur photographers do. I think it's very fun to edit photos to make one hand blurry and one hand not and make a skirt pop out weird. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Thank you, A.I. Holden. Because Holden is here, MJ, and he has not been stolen. Oh, yes. No, you're right. I forgot. Holden's not missing. We've seen several dark, blurry photographs of him with sunglasses on. Two.

We saw one blurry photo of me in a car with dark sunglasses on. And then they're trying to do another photo just dropped today. Here's the new Kate drop. It's turning into it. Again, we're recording this on Monday. So our episode comes out on Thursday. So I know a lot's going to come out between Monday and Thursday, but as far as we know, minutes ago, the second photo has surfaced of Kate Middleton,

but she's looking away in the photo. This one, all right, the first one looked like her. This second one? I don't know. That could be anybody. Who knows? And the fact, all right, so let's break it all down. If you don't know, I think we, none of us were intending on continuing to talk about Kate

Middleton. No, but this phone is, last week we talked. Last week we talked so much about it because we were like, this is a really funny, yet obviously, like pretty stupid conspiracy theory. And surely in the next few days she's going to come out and talk to a camera or something. And everyone would be like, all right. 2024, I'm alive. Here I am.

And instead, the royal family has just been like, what if we dealt with this in the absolute weirdest way possible? And what started out as what seemed like obviously just kind of a fun conspiracy that not many people actually believed has now turned into like an actual. A much bigger conspiracy. Yes. So this bitch put out this photo with her and her three kids wishing a happy UK Mother's Day.

And then the newspapers, three of them, including the AP, said, we ain't written that because it is doctored. It is like an edited photo. So like an actual, like this is not, we're not talking about Reddit anymore. We're talking about the newspaper editor. at the AP being like, we can't, we're not doing this. And then the Twitter handle of the Prince and Princess of Wales, of course, they share a Twitter. I think it's cute that they share a Twitter.

Oh, you would. I think it's cute. They do it together. I bet they hold hands as they tie. Yes. It's so nice that it's as if they both have independent voices that they can both speak freely. And so she, she, quote unquote, comes on to her. quote unquote Twitter handle and is like, oh yes, you caught me like many amateur photographers.

I like to take a bit of a romp at my photo editing skills. And that's why the photo is edited. And it's like, girl, no. But if you look at what is edited, so it's like, so what are some of the examples? It's like it's Charlotte's hand. It's her skirt. It's the way that like they obviously big things that were photoshopped out. But what I don't understand is that in the picture, she is not wearing.

her wedding ring. Why not, if you're already photoshopping, Photoshop the wedding ring on. And I think that this actually plays more into what Holden was saying, because I think that was your champion theory. Last week, Holden was Divorso. I'm leaning more and more towards this. All right, we were just talking,

I wouldn't really kind of repeat some of the stuff we were working through right before we started recording. Because what you got to do is you got to look at like what this is, right? Everyone, we talked about this for about an hour before. we started. Now I'm consumed by it. Like I thought it was like a silly thing. I didn't even think about it.

As soon as the real legit moment was when like AP News and a bunch of like very pro media outlets. They killed the picture. Killed the picture. That was like this weird moment. When do you ever see that? I've never seen that before. That they said this is a doctored photo. This is where we cannot legitimately print this.

That's crazy. It is crazy. And then the response, sorry y'all. I just, I'm an amateur photographer. I like to just edit the sleeves off my virtual daughter and all of my photos. And you said, so you talked to a professional photographer, right, MJ, and what did they say about this? I mean, TikTok is full of photographers talking about, there's various programs.

You can run these things through. But yeah, like, everyone who has a friend who is like a person who knows how to edit photos, text them and ask them about it because, yeah, what I'm hearing from my friend's, you know how to do this. And also from, you know, there's these tools that you can overlay, you know, a photo and you can see, okay, is the contrast the same for, if four people are all standing next to each other on the same plane, you're going to see, like, the way that the light is is going to look similar on all of them. But, like, the light is, like, all completely different for her versus, like, two of the kids. And there's, like, these weird, like, lines near her neck and

stuff. So it's not, we're not talking like, oh, yeah, me, I'm just a mom. I take photos and then I look and I edit out like the little messy hairs on the kid's head or whatever, which also that would be weird too. I can't have my child having flyaways. Lord knows. But if this is like a press photo, like first of all, they're trying to prove she's alive. She should be holding a newspaper in the photo because this photo could have been taken at any time before she went missing. right that there's no but she's saying happy mother's day because it was UK Mother's Day but like so there's no proof of when this photo took place but we're all meant to assume that this is proof of life but also how weird would it be that you're like okay I'm Kate Middleton I'm the princess of wheels I'm so alive everybody I just want everybody know I'm so alive I've obviously been directed to share this photo to prove I am alive but I will just edit it myself like a little mom amateur photographer And then I'll send it. When you have teams of people to do it for you.

And then I'll send it to the newswires. And then the newswires would say the source, which was the palace, sent us a doctored photo. It just doesn't make any sense that she would be like, yeah, I did a little edited. Like, these people don't do anything for themselves. Like obviously, if the photo was going to get edited, some staff, there would be a person whose job is to edit the royal family promotional photos, right? Not her. Yes.

Or the real question would be, this is the question. and maybe I'm wrong, maybe like, I don't know something that someone could explain to me. Let's just assume, okay, let's try to just trust that's what happened, right? Let's just, in a world where she really did edit this photo. Sure. Why would she edit it the weird way that it's edited?

Right. What was the intended result? She didn't, again, like, oh, I edit my, like, yeah, literally what are you editing? Because I feel like when you, when someone's doctoring a photo, like editing a photo because of like filters and trying to make it look,

make themselves look hotter. I feel like it'd be indicative of that. Like you'd be like, oh, this, but like a hand being blurry and the other one not being blurry and the way the skirt is and everything speaks more towards faking a photo than it does speak towards like making a cleaning up a photo.

You know what I mean? The thing about this that I think is so fun is there is not actually a single option that makes sense. Yeah. Like, was this photo taken three months ago and then released yesterday? Okay, that might make sense, but then why is it doctored? Was this photo taken yesterday and then doctored? Right.

Okay, why? Like, and again, like, you know, when you get, like, your kids' school pictures back, it'll be like, do you want, like, the doctoring? And I think the doctoring is, like, smoothing out their hair or whatever, you know, Like, yeah. But like that. Do you get the doctoring? Have you ever got the doctoring?

No, I didn't get the doctoring. I mean, I don't want to pay the extra money for the doctoring. Like many amateur moms. Right. I don't have the money to pay for the extra doctoring. But like, there's just no, there's no reasonable path to take. It's not even like, like, last week it was like, okay, the actual answer is probably that she had a surgery. She had surgery.

She had surgery. She's recovering. This week, we are fully at. is no actual logical. Yes. The fact that she had to take the fall, they're like, okay, you tweet about it, right? Like that's the part that is the craziest to me. From her own personal, you know, king and queen or prince and princess Twitter had to be like,

it was me. I edited it. Seems to me like this bitch is being held captive somewhere. Is she bucking the fucks? Like is she doing this to draw attention? She's like, okay. Oh, saying I can't. put my own X on my X.

Well, then I'm going to do a bad Photoshop job and everybody's that anybody, that anybody is going to see what's happening over here. And maybe this is more of like a flag of like, everybody look over here. They're being bad. And I need out.

Yeah, like it, the clearly edited. I mean, that's a, that you're playing a three dimensional chess over there. Three. I mean, you know, that's what it is. Is that not the game of Thrones, MJ? that she edited the photo knowing that people would catch it

as an edited photo as a cry for health. Yeah, there's no way it's that. But what if it's that? But that she has to tweet out like, it was me. I like made a weird play. I'm the problem. It's me.

Maybe it's like a Tay thing. Like she's trying to be a little Tay. Like trying to get into on that. You know, just a little late because obviously she's a mom of three. She doesn't have time to just listen to midnights whenever she wants to. To me, the biggest takeaway here.

is listen ladies a lot of us spent a lot of our youth trying to look like everyone else trying to look like the most generic hot girl you can and I think that this is really a cry for not trying to look like a generic hot girl only if you are a generic hot girl we love you and we are so glad you're here but you got to because she looks so generic that we can't tell if it's her in these photos if you put sunglasses on her maybe it's not her because that's the thing you would know if it's me yes you know yeah you're You got to do something. Because if you want to know I'm alive, I'm literally going to come out of the car being like, I'm alive. It's me. I'm alive. It's March 11th. I'm alive. Like these two alleged photos that we have, one of her with the sunglasses with her mom, looks like it literally could be anybody.

And then the one from today of her in the car with Will, we only see like her hair. It could be anybody. And again, I don't even know where to land. Like what? Like, I don't think she's dead. I don't actually think she's being help captive. No, obviously not. But, and it's, I, and I want to see the ass.

Where is the ass? That's what they can't tell how big her ass is. Show me that BBL. In the photo, you can't see her ass. So it is still possible that that photo was taken yesterday at Sunday and that she just has a big fat ass and that's why she was missing. But, you know, I can't wait to see it. But then why no wedding ring?

Why no wedding ring? Maybe she's all swollen because her ass is so big that it's making the rest of her body all swollen because the body's so excited about how big the asses. The other weird thing to me is that, you know, the agencies would see, would have to go all the way this far to recall the image. Like, aren't tons of pictures that are sent in, you know, lightly doctored in a way to like, again, clean it up? I don't think they would refuse it for that reason.

They're seeing it and going like, this is fucked up. Yeah. You know? Yeah, they didn't say it was like filtered to make everybody's skin look nice. They said it was a doctor. Yeah, it's the source to be manipulated. Image. This was weird.

All right, so Ruters AP, Gettie Images, these are like the biggest image agencies that are all doing this, right? Getty Images said earlier today our picture desk, I've identified a problematic image provided to Getty Images by Kinzington Palace. We can confirm the imaging question was removed from our site in accordance with our editorial policy. AP, at closer inspection appears that the source was manipulated. has manipulated the image. No replacement photo will be sent, which I thought was interesting. So I think they even went, hey, this is a little weird.

Can you just send us like a non-clearly fake photo? And they were like, can't do it, me love. I can't hear you. Ass is too big. Too big for big job. Hello. Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the Brow Brighter side here to check in with you, see how you're doing.

Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the Briderside podcast is for you! Oh yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, doo-doo factory. Kaka-like topics.

and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. Routers' picture editors said part of the sleeve of Kate's daughter's cardigan did not line up properly, suggesting that the image has been altered.

Routers could not immediately establish how, why, or by whom the alteration. had been made. Bizarre. And then she had to come in and be like, it was me. I'm just seeing a mom. Everyone in the comments are like,

I can't believe they made you take the fucking fall for this. Like, this is so crazy that. And on top of that, the other weird-ass thing is she's not wearing a wedding ring in that picture.

It's just, and I went and looked, I Google image search Kate Middleton, every picture I pulled up, she's wearing that ring. If you can see her, her hand.

Every single picture she's wearing that ring. And, you know, there's so much speculation happening right now. There's so many people who are saying, hey, maybe divorce is going on here. Weird moment to not to post a picture without the ring. Like, especially knowing how attentive to detail the royal family is specifically when it comes to how they're coming off. Now, this could all just be oversight, and that's all it is. And the simple...

I hear your cries, Kate. I hear your cries. We're getting some Scientology bullshit is going on over there. It is weird, weird, fucking weird. Maybe William started fucking a fish. Maybe she walked in on him fucking fish. She was like, this is a fish too far.

And that is where she drew her line. Her fishing line, that is. And then they're fishing together. And this is them, maybe they have become swing baiters together. But it's just for fish. You're telling me that they don't have their own, Like, they don't, she, pawn.

I just can't believe that they're making her take the fall and that everyone's reporting it. Like, yeah, I guess Kate did it. Like, you think they don't have their own social media managers? You don't think they have their own photo editors? Like, they don't have people, like, she's just like, in bed, doing it on her phone and then texting it to the AP. No.

I'm not used to their bullshit. Are, like, do they kind of turn their nose up at, like, being, like, if the media and social media and everybody starts swirling around a thing, do they tend to like bucket that and be like, you can't force me to just like give in and say, hey, it's not a conspiracy guys. Don't they work with the papers?

Yes. They work a lot. They work with the papers. Yeah, they have these agreements. And like their biggest, the other reason why this is so funny is that their biggest desire is to seem like people who deserve to keep getting paid. by the taxes of the regular people.

And they don't want to seem like commoners, but they do want to seem like good, normal, like deserving people. And they are incapable of acting normal. Like, and whenever there's a normal person. Well, they've never lived a normal life. Right. And so when a normal person shows up,

like Diana wasn't even normal. Like she was also like in the, she was a, you know, a count or whatever. Like she's part of the weird royal structure of that country. But like when a slightly normal, like, relatable person, arrives, they all go into a frenzy because they're like, oh, no, everyone's going to hate us. And I feel like, Kate, the idea, it just doesn't, they cannot handle this. They cannot handle this conspiracy theory because there's enough, there is no response that they

can give that makes them seem less, or like more relatable. Everything they do makes them seem like murderers. Less relatable. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No. And especially after all the years of watching the crown, if there is, one thing we know it is what we've learned from the croon yes right most of my research on this is

going off of watching netflix is the croon that is also where mine comes from but i will say we have another week where we discussed kate middleton being missing for 20 minutes i don't know how we did it i know that we well there's lots of things to scream about and i i am concerned she's alive we know that well we don't know it but we're guessing we're seeing i think that first picture was definitely her. I'm throwing that one out there. Okay. This new one, I don't know. But we have to talk about the Oscars. We have to talk about the Oscars.

We watch the Oscars together. I'm haunted by this fucking K thing. I know. Let's move it on. Yeah. But, man, every... Because who knows? Maybe by Thursday she will come out and be like, oh, and like taking pictures and everyone's like, oh, there she is. There's our little photographer. Can't William at least

just be like, everything's normal, ta-ta. Like, I don't understand why they can't just, anyone just walk outside of the castle. Be like, Hello, we're fine, everything's fine. What is that? Not allowed to. Anyways, all the red tape. They can't possibly do something that would make them seem more normal.

Everything they're doing is making it worse. And I can't wait to see how much worse it is by Thursday. But yes, also the Oscars happened and we hash them together. And that's the biggest pop culture news right now, so we should talk about that. Yes. And Billy Elish is the youngest person to have won two Oscars, which is so she... Really? Yeah, youngest person win two Oscars.

and her brother is the second youngest person to win to Oscars. Really? Yeah, breaking boundaries. What was she made for? At first, I was a little sad that I'm just Ken didn't win. But what was I made for? Amazing song. It's absolutely everywhere.

I understand why it won. Oh, wow. Jackie's upset that the woman won over the man. Isn't that a fascinating hell? Wow, Jackie. Thank you for understanding. I was like, movie about women.

And they only care about the man. They only care about the man. It's because I was yelling while we were watching the Oscars that I was so sick of the rhetoric of like, but Bobby is a ladies movie. And Ken is the man. The only one.

Like, we get it. Yeah. We get it. We get it. It's just be, yeah, you got to be mad at something. She's also fun. You know, it's also a fun thing.

Can we just smile? For a second. And as you pointed out initially, all the women who were nominated were, like, talented. And, like, it wasn't like the women, it wasn't like Margo Robbie and Greta Gerweig got snubbed for, like, an obvious, like, that they're, like, it doesn't seem like they, there was a clear spot where they absolutely should have been in the nomination list. And they were nominated, you know, they were nominated in different fields, just not for acting and directing. Right, right, right. Yeah, but I do think, you know, it was fun to watch the performance of I'm Just Ken. Yes.

I think that was the highlight. That was the highlight of it. That was an amazing performance. I think maybe it even was the explosiveness of I'm Just Ken that got the band even, I think. Now I can track it to that a little bit. That was what it was. That happened. It was such a hype moment.

Everyone's like, yeah! And then just boom, it got. But what a, I knew that was going to be great. too. And that's the thing about Barbie in general with the Oscars. I just can't even believe how celebrated that movie was by the Oscars. It is an anomaly for a movie of that nature.

Largely a comedy, really. A comedy, except for like 15 minutes of it that are like touching and sad and brave. But besides that, the whole thing's a silly comedy that breaks the fourth wall and does all these silly things as much as it's

commenting on stuff. So it is totally wild that it got any love that it got, much less all of the love that it got. That was such a fun. Really good year for music performances in general, right? Is it so funny you sang the Billy Eilish getting winning twice? Because the other time she won, we couldn't even remember the name of the song, had to look it up. I still don't know the name of the song. I can't remember what you said it was. It was from a James Bond movie. I know it's the James Bond one. What a Boros-Nor-Song song? Like, what was she up against that year?

It must have been nothing. It must have just been like the sad man crying song and it's just a man weeping and sat like, I don't know what she was up against. My life. Because this one, we had so many bangers, the Killers of the Flower Moon performance was like incredible. Oh my God. Absolutely incredible. Yeah, the performances were amazing.

Yeah. And sometimes I feel like the Oscar songs bring it kind of to a halt. Sometimes. You know, which I didn't think that they did this year. Not at all. Yeah. The music performances were like how we talk about the Grammys are fun because of the live music. and Oscars usually don't really bring that,

even though there is live music. The live music, I feel like at the Oscars this year, was a total highlight. And yeah, there was a lot of really good. It seemed like most of the, like, things that were nominated were good. And it was cool that Barbie had such a presence because it's so not an Oscar movie. And so, like, I feel like it was just really fun to have this big, funny, like, fun, especially when it's like the year of Oppenheimer and it's just like, oh,

I'm Christopher Nolan and I made a long movie about a bomb, you know. And so I feel like it's really fun to have the Ken stuff. But yeah, it's just sloppingheimer, just slopping right through and taking its due. Slappenheimer took its due and that's fine. There was a lot of, we talked about on the stream, it seemed like there was a lot of kind of like career wins. Like Robert Downey Jr. won for Oppenheimer. and even if he didn't necessarily give the best supporting actor performance of the whole year, like you can't really argue that career-wise,

you shouldn't get an Oscar in general. Yes. Right? Same for Killian Murphy. I haven't seen Oppenheimer, so I can't speak to whether or not Killian and Robert Downey Jr. deserve the Oscars. But it seems like in general, they deserve an Oscar. And this was the year that they got it, right?

Although I was sad because I thought Paul Giamatti had an Oscar. And while I didn't think he necessarily deserved it for the holdovers, even though I like the holdovers, I was, like, I also was rooting for Paul Giamatti. But he was crying when, when Divine went up and won as well. And that was so sweet when they cut to him. And he just had like a couple of tears coming down his face and that made me so happy. Speech of the night. Yeah. And it started off strong, man.

That speech. Yeah. That speech was really nice. She thanked her theater teacher and her mother for, like, believing in her and, like, helping her learn how to love herself. And, like, what was that made? Yeah, that was, that was awesome. It was a really, honestly, pretty solid Oscars. It was a great Oscar.

It was expecting. It was expecting to be way more bored by that Oscars. Yeah. I was dead. And that's why we need, we need to celebrate more levity and silliness, you know, as long as it's a high value, high level. of that. Yeah, like when John Cena came in naked. Yeah, that was good. We saw the come gutters. We saw those come goddess.

I remember a come storm drains. Remember that was the gym? Come storm drains because they went all the way. Well, I will say I did look up because they were like watch what John Cena was wearing underneath because of course he was covered. Right. You know, his ass and his penis were covered. But I also think that they looked like come storm drains because that's where the like tie lie. Like there was like a nude tie there to hold the bulge up front to cover the ass in the back. So I think that that did emphasize his cum storm drains.

But regardless, what a physique. You know, you can't not say that that physique is not impressive. I think that he should host the Oscars. Please. Kimmel did fine. Kimmel did, you know, it wasn't like, remember the Seth McFarland that we saw your Boob's song from like, I love MJ, you always bring up

Do I bring that up a lot? It was just, I love it. It really is such a like tone deaf weird. It wasn't even like 1995. Like then it would have made sense because that was just like

what culture was like. Right. But I think it was like 2013. It was like a time. It was like yeah. When like the discourse had moved away from that. And it was just everyone was like, what is happening here?

Like I feel like Kimmel is a good and talent. It wasn't like Joe Koi, right? Like he's a, Kimmel is a very seasoned, confident performer who's not going to panic about a joke, not landing. Like MC, yeah, like MC of a TV thing. Like that's kind of why you always want to get like a late night guy. He's good at, you know, because they're used to playing ball with the... It's the idea of a host.

I think that we see, we unfortunately watch people fall into this trap and reality shows so often. Hosting is a skill. Yeah. You need to have a skill to host a show. Right. And I think that people assume, like, anybody can just get up there and read off the cards. It's like, no, it's so much more than that. It's understanding it's being able to read the audience, being able to read, like,

knowing what you're saying and, like, knowing, like, what you are and who you are as a host as well is just as important as reading off the cards of doing everything else. So, and I think that people see that job, and it is a thankless job because they're like, they're not doing anything. Right. In reality, they are the backbone of the entire show. Right. And you could absolutely be good at both, but actually one would assume being a stand-up would be like, oh, if you're really good at doing stand-up, then you can get up there and host. But they're very incredibly different things. And especially in the sense that stand-up really is like not collaborative, right? It's actually you developing your voice and doing it kind of your way. Until you're huge, until like someone, literally someone else is writing your jokes for you. And you might have. you might have a right maybe a writer though i don't you don't have like a net usually if you're a legit stand-up you don't have like a team of writers because you can't because it's it's all about

having a unique voice that is your own right and you're developing a lot of stand-ups are developing shit like on stage only some stand-ups like sit down and write every day like yes jerry sylfeld writes for two hours every day that's like not you most like interviews i hear and stuff they talk about how like like like it's so hard for them to write and that they just really develop up on the stage, you know, completely different from, I have to work with a team of writers, a team of a whole production crew, all this stuff. There's all these constraints around just like where I'm going to be doing the comedy

and everything like that, much less like what the content of that comedy is going to be and then has to pass by the censors, but also by the like academy and like the taste of the academy, which why it's interesting when they- You have to appeal to a hugely broad audience, which is why I think Kimmel's a good choice because, like, you know, you just don't, this Ethnith Farland thing was so strange because it's just, like, weirdly alienating. And I feel like Kimmel is just really good at being like, I'm not going to tell the most groundbreaking jokes you've ever heard, but I am very good at appealing to this huge swath of population. Confidently deliver stuff classily and just, like,

keep it going, you know? The funny thing with Joe Coy is like, if he hadn't kept talking about how bad he was doing, I don't know how much the home audience would have even noticed how bad he was doing. Yeah. That's kind of the funny thing is they pipe in extra laughs. We know that. They sort of josh it. So it's also just knowing like little rules like that. Like whereas in standup, you do want to acknowledge when you're doing bad. It's like a tactic. You want to say, hey, I'm dying up here and like try anything you can try to try to get them back on your side. And in Joe Koy's case, including throwing your riders under the bus, right?

Which was a tactic. Or and don't turn on the audience either being like, why aren't you laughing? That's also not going to do anything. That's usually not going to work even in a stand-up sense, but maybe like making fun of the club or something you would do, right? And so it's just, yeah, it's a weird one with the hosting. I'm glad they got him in.

I'm glad they didn't get, you know, I'd be interested in a John Cena host, but that's always the risk. I mean, we remember what happened with Anne Hathaway and James Franco. Yeah, but John Cena has, I mean, has way more Riz than either one of them put together on their best day. Yeah, I just feel like he was the comedic highlight of the night, like, by far. But again, maybe it's not the host's job

to actually be the comedic highlight of the night. Although, wouldn't we say that Billy Crystal, like, did do that? Like, wouldn't we say, he's the prototype, right? I feel like he actually just did manage to be the host and to be very, very funny and to set the tone. and maybe we'll just always be chasing that dragon. Those of us who remember when Billy Crystal was always the host, it's like Hollywood never recovered.

The heydays of the Oscar. But also, speaking of John Cena, I do want to encourage everyone to go watch Ricky Stenickey, which is over on, I think it's on Amazon Prime. Our friend Jermaine is in a movie with John Sina and Zach Afron. And it was a delightful, it's a new Farley Brothers movie. And it was just fun. Honestly, Holden, it made me think of you.

John Cedda's character made me think of you. Nice. Well, I think he's incredibly, I just love him and pretty much everything I've seen him in in terms of acting stuff. He is a delight in this friggin movie. It is like, it is a great movie if you're just like, man, I'm not like, I'm not smiling today. Put that movie on because it's real fun and it's real dumb. Anyway, I want to talk about the Oscars bags. Sorry, that was my ad for my friend.

It wasn't an ad. I just love Jermaine and he does an amazing job in it. Anyway, the Oscar bags, give it out to Oscar nominees, were worth $178,000. But it did include which Holden made me think of you as well, a Rubik's Cube. Yeah, collector's Rubik's Cube. I feel seen.

I feel a little seen. I bet still, though, that what's funny with the Rubik's Cube, You don't really want to go with the Rubik's branded cube. I have these Moos here. Whoa, you go off-brand cubes. Yeah, I got a Rubik's. I mean, maybe that Rubik's Cube is particularly fance because it is a collector's edition Rubik's cube.

But they're a little kind of like, I don't know how to describe it. They're a little stickier. They're a little more like clumsy to turn the to spin. But you can get these magnetic ones. These are magnetic. It's just like when people on the Food Network talk about the mouth feel of a food and it makes me want to die.

But I feel like you're talking about the mouth feel of the Rubik's cube. Oh, don't put it in your mouth. Let's clean it first. I thought I liked the, well, yeah, exactly. Winnie could probably tell you the mouth feel of these Rubik's cubes. But I, yeah, as soon as I put my hands on these puppies, I was like, oh, my, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's like having a bidet for the first time or something.

You're like, oh, oh, this is the way. My ass is so clean. Oh, yeah, it's the best. Love a bidet. Shout out the tushy. I don't even know how they get away with being able to give to many people that there is a chalet, there's a Swiss ski chalet that every nominee is offered a three-night private stay for them and up to nine guests. And that is one of the parts of the Oscars nominees bags. And that's it.

And I imagine, I guess it's different if you're like really rich. so like your life is just, you know, PJs. But can you imagine being gifted something like that? It'd be like, for me, I get to go. No, but Jackie, Bradley, even though Bradley Cooper gets to go to the chalet, he's so sad that he's not going to enjoy the chalet. Oh, the maestro tears, how they doth fall.

He wants that Oscar so badly. And we're supposed to feel so bad for everybody who doesn't win, but meanwhile, they're staying at the chalet the cost $50,000. They're going to the chalet. You're going to be fine. And it's still cute. I will always, it is always cute that he, that Bradley Cooper always brings his mom.

I think it's adorable, even though he, everybody that's anybody knows that he's dating Gigi Hadid right now. But he still brings his mother to the Oscars, which is cute. Yeah, yeah. I'm loving this. Do you think Gigi was pissed? Yeah, I think he should have brought Gigi Hadd. I saw a blind.

Oh, fuck. For your partner. I wish I had, I had the blind. I saw a blind where she. She's been being messy lately or something, and so he wasn't going to take her. Oh, do you think she's a messy eater? Do you think that she gets too much food stains on her many dresses? That would be funny.

What if she was, she's like, poised, quaffed everywhere, but then she's like, ah, she just eats like slimer? There's a, there's a Reddit post suggesting that Bradley Cooper will, quote, unquote, hard launch a relationship with Gigi Hadid at the Oscars. And boy, did he not do that? No. He brought his mom. It's very nice to bring your mom, but do you need to bring your mom to every Oscars or should you bring your romantic partner at least once? I don't know. I'm ragged on Bradley Cooper because I think that it's funny that he probably is going to kill Killian Murphy in his sleep. The desperation. He's the new Leo DiCaprio with this. The desperation to get the thing. It reeks. We all know it. And I'm sorry to Bradley Cooper, but you are not Leonardo DiCaprio.

like you just haven't like I know you made silver linings playbook and that was great and I know you were in a star as born like but I just don't the expectation that the clear like it's my time I need one right you know thing and like the Leonard Bernstein story is a great story to tell like whatever cool I'm glad make your movie I'm so glad you did that I'm so glad that you feel so connected to him that you cried harder than his children when thinking about it's also though it's like this type this type of biopic is not the same as it was in terms of I feel like we're so fucking used to this kind of biopic as the Oscar bait and we've seen so many people win right Madeline Cote Laudey whatever name is you know

Teeth man for oh yeah big teeth yeah big teeth one and so he's looking at that and trying to re-cats literally it's the same thing as like the truck Madeline whatever In Teeth, man. You know Lardie. But yes, it's because it's not memorable films.

That's what to be, the music biopic, right? That's what it, what became the Oscar made. Before that, unfortunately, established by Forrest Gump, the attempt was to always have some kind of special need performance, right? Or be a straight person playing a gay person. No, no, no, that's what it was. It was special needs, straight person playing a gay. Then biopic.

And Bradley Cooper, bro, it's something else now. it's changed. What even is it now? I mean, Emma Stone wins for poor things. So, like, super. That was, that's actually, I'm kind of shocked she won for that. Not only because she already won an Oscar. It's so divisive.

But also because what I love about poor things, what I love about poor things is it already was like this. And now that she won the Oscar and it got so much love at the Oscars, a whole new round of people who should have no business actually probably watching that movie or going to watch that movie. It'd be like, that was a weird Friday night for us. It's like it's so filled with like sex and disturbing moments and like it's just such a strange unsettling movie that's also very funny but the comment like Lexi and I were cat it was the kind of

movie where Lexi and I were laughing all throughout that movie but like we were one two of the only people in the theater who like were laughing and kind of keyed into it and got it you know what I mean and so that was very like apparent to me it's that kind of movie it's like a very specific sense of humor and it's really off-putting, you know, for the majority of people. I love what that kind of movie hits. And then who won best actor again? Killian Murphy. So I don't know where that puts us now.

Big biopic. I mean, obviously, I feel like, I feel like this year's Oscars weren't that annoying in part because there was no, like, Green Book. Like, as much as Oppenheimer was obviously an Oscar grab, it seems like it was also like a very well done, well-out. acted film, like, with a good story. I guess that's not the way that that's, that's not right, but, you know, like it was a, it's at the end.

Just for the ending. It's so crazy. It's so great. By the way, shout-outs to Godzilla minus one, but what a weird year, too, that Godzilla minus one is like this, everyone's, like, championing it, and it won for visual effects. I'm so happy they won, and they all were wearing Godzilla shoes. But is it also weird that what must, what must they have felt the whole time when also Oppenheimer's being so celebrated?

What a weird. feeling they must have had watching all of the love for Oppenheimer you know, I'm so happy they got their moment but it's just a strange year in that sense. I also, I don't want to get into the specifics of it or whatever, but I want to commend, like remember,

it was only a few years ago where everybody felt like they needed to get on stage and make some ham-fisted political commentary or whatever. And I just want to come in, I just want to acknowledge that like, I felt like they were sparse moments that were like well-placed, and it wasn't,

It wasn't just a night of like, I think that, like, it's like the bridesmaid speech, I think that we need to rise up as a people and try to stop the oppression. That is, you know what I mean? It's just this like empty kind of eye-rolly Hollywood politics shit. There was a lot of that performative politics like after Trump was elected. Sure. Like everybody felt like they needed to like use their platform for something, but many of these people just don't really know what they want to say. So it just felt like really disingenuous. Because it's actors.

The problem with actors. is like they have, it's this, it's Bradley Cooper crying in the, in the moment in the interview. Yeah. Their intentions are good, but they're so like, there's just nothing going on back there. The whole point is they have to be this empty void that can like chameleon into people. So when they have to get up, like they're performing as the person that makes the brilliant political speech. They're not like genuinely doing it, I guess is how it comes off because they're actors.

It was the same thing as like, remember in. theater class, someone would establish, this is like, maybe I'll hopefully I can explain this. Someone will like establish something in the class like, or it'll even be a word. I remember in our class, it was the word resonate. Someone

said, like the teacher said resonate like a couple times. And so everyone when they gave feedback to the scene work that was going on had to fit the word resonate in, you know, because they don't know how to have their own thoughts. They don't know how to have their own like, kid trying to sound smart.

in class energy. Yes. Yeah. They're very, it's very pick me energy, but also pick me, but I also don't, I'm empty.

I have no original thoughts. Right. So I'm just gonna try to like mimic what you think I should do. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. That's like what the speeches can kind of get like that too. So I felt like,

I also think it's a subconscious thing that helps you assimilate. Yes. I think when you're using like other people's language and things like that, that like you are finding a way to be like, no, see, we are all like each other. And I feel like that that's also like a sense of like we're together in this.

Yes, exactly. And then they overdo it, hence Bradley Cooper crying in front of the family like an idiot. Because he's totally over-correcting. And I'm glad we're here. It is time for the celebrity conspiracy theory. I'm sad because we didn't get to talk about love is blind,

but we are going to talk about it. We'll talk about so much than leftovers. And we are going to talk about it next week with the reunion coming out. So, or MJ, we'll have, yeah. And I have to miss the leftovers again today because I have to watch my children and I just want to talk about

Love is Blind specifically. We'll get into. I need to talk about it. It will not be the last time. It will not be the last time we talk about it. That's for sure. All right. Hit me with the sheriff.

Do you believe it? Sorry, now I'm just thinking about Love is blind. I immediately started the end. It was like, Jackie, shut that down. talking about conspiracy theories. Honestly, some people might not be caught up. It actually works better on the leftovers because we can say spoiler alert and then you're not missing like big chunks of the main feed episode at least. So join us over on Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. If you want all that hot,

love is blind goss this week. We will be doing that. It's just $5 a month. Add free episodes of these shows and you get the bonus episodes and Jackie's book reading. So catch us outside. Am I outside? I mean Patreon.com forward slash. page of a podcast. That's right. It's Catch me outside. How about that? Cash me outside. How about that?

It's still the end. Listen, it's not our fault that we have to devote 20 minutes to every show now to talking about where Kate Middleton is. Where is she? Sorry. That's the Royal's fault.

What are she doing? Stop bungling this. This is crazy. Just fucking parade her around the yard or whatever you do. Just find her. I'm so over this. Yeah, I'm just like I need,

I need clarity on this. We all do. Today's newspaper. or nothing. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Is tryhard Bradley Cooper submitting blinds about Silly and Murphy? Yeah.

This is such a funny one. I mean, we all love how, you know, we all love a tryhard. We love to sit back and see them try so hard. And then you go, oh, but actually it's so much easier when you don't try. And that's usually how you win by not trying. This one comes in from Angela, who wrote, hi, wanted to share a conspiracy, that I've really been enjoying. Has Bradley Cooper been submitting blind items

about Killian Murphy? Bradley Cooper has been desperate this whole award season and really wants to be seen as a respected artist, but at every show, he continually loses to Killian Murphy. And yet happened yet again.

So I pulled this conspiracy, by the way, before the Academy Awards. Love it. Because even I knew that he was definitely going to lose to Killian Murphy that night. And I'm so happy that I was right. Well, because everything, everyone was saying it was either

Killion Murphy or Paul Giamatti It wasn't even like Bradley Cooper was not a part of the conversation Of whether he was going to win or not No one is thinking about you Bradley Cooper No one's thinking about you Bradley Cooper He's become a bit of a meme online Along with his movie and no one is taking him seriously And what's funny is like he should have realized this

The second, the first thing about his movie Was the nose issue, right? Yeah I think the second that happened he should have been like It's not going to be my year It's okay. It's not going to be my ear. Just drop it.

I don't cry in front of the family. You don't need to do these things. It's not my ear. I'll make another one. I'll make another maestro. I have a bunch of maestros in the canister. You know what I mean? I'm ready to pop off.

A conspiracy has come out after a blind item about Killian was submitted to Dumas that Bradley or his people have obviously been anonymously sending blind items to smear Killian Murphy because he's bitter and hurt that he's not getting the accolades. he's so badly once.

He's been reduced to scrawling. Killian is a fugly slut in his bird book. I don't know that that's a legend. That's allegedly. So this is the blind, by the way. This is the blind. So it's from Mr. Good Guy subject. I'd like to thank dot, dot, dot.

And the blind is this actor of the moment has a great image as a devoted family man who shuns the Hollywood scene. That doesn't mean he's stung. shunned other girls from his bed. His wife uprooted the family to another country after Mr. Good Guy kept having too much fun and too many options between the sheets. Mr. Good Guy knows his wife will never divorce him,

so it's up to her to limit his temptations. As for indulgences, cheese by the seaside will have to suffice. That was the blind. Just an FYI, it's not like a, oh shit blind. Just that Killian Murphy is not so perfect. And everyone in the in the, in the, in the comments.

Like, it's Killian, it's Killian. Uh-huh. So, yeah. Of course, yeah, he's a bad man. He's picky blind eyes. Oh, he's always sucking his cigarettes. He's handsome and he's Irish and he keeps winning things and making movies that people like and want to see and people keep talking about how straight he is instead of how gay he is.

There's a lot that's going on with Killian Murphy that Bradley Cooper is not getting. Yeah. All right. So I found the comment where people start. speculating. So someone says, going to choose to believe this was submitted by a salty Bradley Cooper fan. And then under that, who are we kidding? Bradley probably submitted this himself. Also, Oscar Voting is already over. So what was the point? And then another person, he went too far and can't get out now. Man, maestroed too close to the sun. Yeah. So anyways,

it's, yeah, if he doesn't win and the reputations of the other nominees are ruined, he's hoping people will say Bradley Cooper should have won it instead. Oh, so fun. No one is. No one is saying Bradley Cooper. Should have won it instead. No. I'm honestly at a point that I've come almost full circle that I feel so bad that I'm like, all right, I guess I'll watch Maestro. Like, just to be like, hey, man, look at you out there making your stuff.

All right. I do want to watch it. I just have a feeling. Music biopics are like, except for maybe like tar felt like unique. But tar was a little bit different. Tar was more like a Capote where it's like. a biopic, but it's kind of honing in on one kind of cross section of this person. Like, oh, but Tar's not a biopic anyways, but still, it's like trying to kind of make more of a point,

whereas this is probably just more like the man's life and he struggled in this way, but he succeeded in this way and it'll be the most paint by numbers thing. I'm conducting. I'm furiously conducting. I mean, that's right. Yes. I love watching furious conducting. I do.

Yes, you're doing a great job. conducting, Bradley. It is. I feel just like, we're like, good. Keep going, buddy. Like, I just feel like, I just feel like by the time it became clear that Leonardo DiCaprio was like, I will absolutely strangle some of my bare hands to get an Oscar. Like, he had already made enough

movies where he had like a decent reason to feel like he should have gotten an Oscar by now. Whether you think he should have gotten one for Titanic or what's eating over grape or basketball diaries or whatever, but he made like a number of very critically acclaimed movies, one after the other, at a very young age.

And I just don't think, I mean, American sniper? Like, what are we talking about here with Bradley Cooper's career? Like, you know what I mean? That was such good shade, MJ. He's fine. He's like a fine and talented actor, but he doesn't, I don't, I mean, Robert Downey Jr. got his first Oscar last night. Like, I just don't think that Bradley Cooper is like waiting in the wings

you know, he's the last good man to not get an Oscar rack. I just don't think we're there yet, buddy. It's the difference between, like, the literature section of the bookstore and the, like, fiction rack of the grocery store. Bradley Cooper is the fiction rack of the grocery store. And there's great stuff in that rack, you know, for sure. Great stuff. Those are the only books I read.

So I get it. But it's never going to be Catcher in the Rye or, you know, Hemingway or something. You know what I mean? Like, it's never going to be that. And he's got to maybe start accepting that. But actually, no, I don't want him to accept it. because how funny are the next slew of movies he's going to make? They're all going to be in.

I hope he goes the opposite way. I hope he's like, well, you know what? Then I'm going to go make some weird shit. Like, I want to see that version of Bradley Cooper. Oh, yeah. Actually, that'd be very funny if he either, he makes like, if he decides he's like, I need to do the Emma Stone route. Yeah.

Weird-ass movie. Which, like, I'm currently also watching The Curse, and we're about to finish the curse. We were a little behind on it. And, like, man, Emma Stone is making such fun. a weird shit right now. Emma Stone is so good in the curse. Again, I would not recommend

the curse to just anybody. It is not for everybody. It is very uncomfortable. But I really enjoy it. But I wonder, because I also had to look this up, because people were disappointed that Lily Gladstone didn't win, but also, I don't think anyone's like Emma Stone didn't deserve it, but people feel also that Lily Gladstone did deserve it. Also, Emma

Stone was championing Lily Gladstone because they were championing each other. They referred to themselves as the Infinity Stones, which is really cute. And that they were just like supporting each other the entire time. That's really awesome. But also did, so Emma Stone did win best actress for La La Land though. And I wonder if there is a thing that when once you win,

especially if you don't have to wait your whole career like Leo did. Like if once you win, you are freed up to be like, I'm going to make more interesting choices. Yeah. I don't know if this. I don't know enough about her career before her win. But I just wonder if it's like, I feel like Bradley Cooper is doomed to just keep trying to make Oscar movies.

and what Emma Stone is doing that's cool is like making movies that are just more interesting than that, right? And I feel like, again, what was so fun about Barbie having even a presence, as big a presence as it had at the Oscars, is that it was so not an Oscar movie. And yet it was a movie that united the entire country, like because of the timing of the strike,

probably most specifically the strikes, but also because it was really fun and, you know, well done and meaningful for a lot of people and all that stuff, but it didn't have to be Oscar bait. And I feel like what I like about almost all of the movies we spent all last night talk, all the Oscars Night talking about was that they didn't have that Oscar Beatty feel, except for again, arguably Oppenheimer.

But even that, again, the consensus seems to be that it was at least a very well done Oscar-y movie, you know. Except for fuck sound mixing for that movie, man. I don't get this shit. But anyways, we can keep it. Yeah. Speaking of sound, good zone of interest.

I'm so happy zone of interest, one for Best Sound. It is a movie. I will never forget. Yeah, that was one of the winners for zone of interest and the winners for the documentary about Ukraine were the only political speeches of the night which were completely understandable. Right.

But yeah, I don't know. I just want Bradley Cooper to learn to love himself without any external validation. Isn't that what we all need? He's just Brad. I think he should have been up there. He should have been singing with Ryan Gosling. Did anyone check on him during that first?

That's what it is. He's kin. He's totally kin. That's what Frederick Cooper is. He'll never... Anywhere else he'd be a 10. Yeah. But he'll never be the ball.

He'll never stand in next to Killian Murphy. He's not. No, he's just not. Maybe when he's older, there's just something to... I think he needs to just make a movie where he actually just comes out as gay and then we'll be like, fine.

We get finally, we give it to you. Yeah. Or maybe he just... Or maybe he does, if he really is closeted, like literally everyone seems to believe. Maybe if he finally does that, It'll free him and you'll be able to make a truly honest work and we'll like feel it and know it and, you know, give him an offer for it. It gets to be himself. We want him to be himself. It does feel that way. Right. I hate to buy into all those, you know, plans like that. He's like a doctored photo. But right. He's like a K. Middleton photo. He's not, he doesn't seem self-actualized. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Something off. There's something not. There's something doctored about his whole deal.

Yeah. Why is his left hand blurry and his right hand isn't? No one's going to give him the trophy. No one's going to. No one's going to. to give it to him. Kate Middleton, stop messing with Brad! She's an image of photographer. Oh, God, it's time for the list. All right. I'm the photographer. Oh, who's on the list?

Me, Jackie, got to have that list. Beloved stories and characters that are loathed by the folks who brought them to life. A.A. Milne complained that Winnie the Pooh ruined his legacy. What? Milne, who wrote 25 plays, seven novels, and a few novels. and a few nonfiction works aspired to be known as a serious writer. But he became famous for brilliant stories for children.

He grew to hate poo so much that he tried to kill him off in the second and last poo book. Okay, you know what? Ring, ring, ring. Bradley Cooper's phone. Is that you? Okay, I've got a new biopic for you, Bradley.

You're going to do... Make a mill? You're going to do the story of how A.A. Milne hated Winnie the Pooh. That's awesome, actually. That is a fascinating story. Yeah. I want to see that story.

those books are beautifully written. You can tell he's a terrific writer, and it makes sense. Honestly, you just made something click with me. A movie like that about the Ernest, about the guy who played Ernest. Who also hated Ernest, he wanted so badly to be taken seriously as an actor. He's like a very, like, skilled, intense, like, theater actor. And, like, he just got shoehorned into this goofy character and hated it for his whole life. That's got to be so fascinating. Same with the guy who played the dad and Alf would be another great version of that where it's like it got over

100 episodes and he was miserable the entire time making that show. Why? Oh, Alf, not Elf. I was like James Khan? No, Alph. One of the reasons, probably like didn't get along with the people, right? But one of the big reasons was like the whole set had to be altered in this crazy way

so that they could like have all these puppet setups. So you were constantly like banging into stuff and like falling into holes and like stuff, yeah. Yeah, and just, it was just, apparently like the, also, maybe the, the heat or something, it was like, just a very uncomfortable space. Well, I've heard anytime you have to, like, work with puppets on, like, on a set like that,

you're literally, like, walking on, like, planks in between because, like, all the floors are open. That makes a lot of sense that it would be a bit of a nightmare. Yeah, yeah. But you know who it's harder on? The puppeteers, who have to hold their hands up. You're right. So get over it.

Get over it. Get over it out. You're right. Or, like, how Joe Barbera feels, one half of hands up. Anna Barbera, Scooby-Doo was dumb and repetitive. It was just a, he said, he was just a bunch of teenagers hanging out with a big, dumb dog.

And all the episodes were rehashes of the same plot, he said. Correct. But the networks kept ordering more Scooby-Doo, and he couldn't understand why. So his studio continued to churn it out. Yeah, it was the first thing I think I saw as a kid where I recognized like, repetition and story structure.

and like got really turned off to watching it, you know? It's hilarious. That's the most obvious thing about Scooby-Doo and that the guy who created is just like, I mean, have you seen this shit? It's repetitive as hell. It's like, yes, correct. Yep.

That is what it does. Yeah. This list has big Bradley Cooper energy. It does. It's like you got to change your own life, buddy. Honestly, this kind of stuff always makes me sad, but I think I knew this about Robert Plant, Led Zeppelin Singer,

hate stairway to heaven. It always kind of makes me sad when people that have like these huge songs are like, I hate the song and I don't want to play it anymore because here's the thing. I like Don McLean sing an American Pie. It's a long song.

Yeah, that's annoying. I understand. It's long. Same with stairway. It's like an exhaust. It's an exhausting song. It's long. So I get being frustrated

when you're like, all right, I got a long, long time ago. All right. And everyone's like, yes, still remember and just being upset about it. But, you know, in my brain, I'm like, but if you get to that point, shouldn't you just be happy every day that you get to play music for a living? That's why I love the drummer for Rush, rest in peace. He's amazing. And was it limelight maybe?

There's a song, like, it's one of the songs they play like they have to play at every show. But he made it so technically, he's such a good drummer. he made it so technically challenging for himself that Neil Pert, by the way, that he would, like to do, to perform it well was such a challenge for him every time that it never, it was always a pleasure for him to play it because that's what he loved. He loved to like do incredibly technically difficult drum parts, right? Yeah. So it was like, I think someone asked him like, do you ever get sick of performing that song?

He's like, this is such a challenge. still to do this thing right. And I'm like the only person you can do it. So no, every time I do it, I love to do it. Hell yeah. You know, I thought that's cool. Yeah. And I feel like every so often you do hear about like,

especially musicians who are like, oh no, I love performing my greatest hit. Like, I'm so excited to do it every time. And that is really nice. Maybe it's just because I don't want them to be miserable, you know? But it's like, yeah, I hope that you can like still find the joy in this, you know? The opposite of that, by the way, is, yeah, Tom DeLange from Blink 182.

I forget which one of their hits is like hard. Like you'll hear him fucking it up in different live shows because it's just, he like hates that he came up with this guitar part because it's like really hard for him to do it right. And so they always have to play it. You know what I mean? So like he's just like, God damn it. It's like, I don't need it.

I forget which song it was. But yeah, maybe it is even just like all the small thing. Like it's like one of their like biggest, you know. I have to play it all the time. And it's, yeah, yeah. And I forget which performance I've seen, but he'll like, he will fuck it up, like, from time to time.

Well, I guess this was a fuck up, or at least according to Arthur Conan Doyle, Arthur Conan Doyle felt writing Sherlock Holmes was dull, quote, hackwork. He saw historical fiction as his real work and Sherlock Holmes as stuff that paid the bills. Doyle tried to kill off Holmes once, but bowed to fan pressure to bring him back.

back not long after he got so sick of him that he finally quit writing homes stories for good that's got to be i mean it's like if it's paying the bills the thing gotta keep doing it yeah you get to be sir arthur conan doyle so ultimately like it's fine but yeah i mean i guess it's like people who have a one-hit wonder and they're like ah this fucking guy you know unless unless i missed it i'm kind of shocked jim farney's not on this list i tried to scroll ahead and i think he's not there. No, he's not on this list. And it's weird that you brought up Jim Varney because I saw a meme that likened John Sina to Jim Varney. And then if you look at a picture, because like Jim Barney was real hot when he was younger. And they do kind of weirdly look similar. Not in the

physique, but in, just in the face, they kind of weirdly look similar. But I loved Ernest. And it makes me so sad that Jim Barney hated being Ernest so much because Ernest was such a huge part of my childhood. Yeah. And it made me be in love with interesting voices. Like, hearing his voice always made me feel nicer because it was like, everybody loves Ernest, right? But everybody loves James Bond, unless you're Sean Connery, who despised playing

James Bond. His exact words were, I have always hated that James Bond. I'd like to kill him. He was so fed up that he gave his sad. from the last bond to charity. But they tempted him into another one with more money than another after that. Wow. But at that point, he thought Bond was becoming a joke of a character, and then he quit for good.

Yeah, Bond's a weird one. Bond is such a specific. There's so many, I mean, obviously, it's kind of a dude bro franchise, but I don't understand the people who were like, yep, God, I'm watching them all, watching them for that. I think my brother tried to do that at one point. He's like, watch them from the beginning. we're going to get through all of them. I was going to say, I feel like that's like a developmental era that many like suburban white teenage boys go through. Yeah. The Bond era.

Yeah. No, yeah, for sure. And definitely, you know, Golden Eye hit at a great time for me. I definitely, and obviously the video game was big. And 64's Gold and I really fueled the bond interest amongst the teen boys in my life at that time. Yeah, that made Bond like kind of cool again. I feel like it wasn't cool for a while. And then Pierce Brosnan came in with that Golden Eye and some hot lady sauce. and we got pretty hype for it for a second. But looking back on it, yeah, I haven't seen like the last couple and I'm just not a like James Bond born identity, you know, mission impossible guy.

I've tried. I've tried. And every time I'm like, I think I could sleep a little bit. I think I could sleep. I think I need a little more than this like formulaic thing that they're doing here with the action and everything. Like even if I, oh, tell you what, Fast, Fast Furious franchise.

Fast. I mean, if you want to watch a franchise. I need it to be insane. I needed to be crazy. I need to be like totally. And Bond is too like reserved and British and like has to me. Kind of like the royal family. Sexy sleep.

Yeah, it's like, it's kind of like the royal family. It's like he can't be seen, you know, to, to, they can't take it too far ever. You know, it has to be kind of reigned in. And so I can never quite, and same with Mission Impossible. but like Tom Cruise loves himself too much and thinks he really is like this guy. And, you know, so it can never be the kind of movie I want it to be.

Whereas Fast franchise, they're just like, how do we go? Where do we go next? We went to space. What do we even do next? You know what I mean? We got to up it. We got to up that fucking ante.

You know what I mean? When they went to space, I tell you what. So good. Yes. Take them to space. So good. God, I love the Fast and the Furious movies. Yeah.

but feeling opposite from that is Joel Schumacher and that has nothing to do with the Fast and Furious franchise we are talking about Batman and Robin don't worry Joel Schumacher hates Batman and Robin just as much as everyone else even though I love Batman and Robin and you can't take that away from me but I did want to bring this up just to remind us of the Oscars moment

which I think was also one of my favorite part of the Oscars which was when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito came out and they were like we were both Batman villains and I saw an ex from our friend Mike Lawrence. I was like, I can't be the only nerd that was like, yes, but Arnold Schwarzenegger's Batman was George Clooney. It wasn't a Michael Keaton, Batman. I thought the same thing.

And it was very cute. Everybody had to like roll their eyes to be like, this is why they're doing this bit, holding as I like, I was probably reading chat or something during the beginning of it. And then I was like, oh, right, right. Wait a second. Yeah, and I had the same thought. I was like, yes, fucking.

Different Batman. George Clooney Batman. It was, yeah, what the fuck? But I, it was very much. But I do love Batman and Robin. Yeah. And I just loved watching, but all of us in chat were screaming, twins! Yeah, yeah, Ruiz.

Because, I mean, we're all thinking about twins. More twins content. I feel like less Batman, more twins was- More twins. Bring back, let's do a twins sequel. There's word on, I still, I have been hearing about this for years that there is a movie that was in talks called Triplets where Eddie Murphy plays the long lost third.

and that is the movie that I am waiting for. Hell yeah. Man. I love that. Get Bradley Cooper to direct that. Oh, that's the awesome movie. Get him in there. Get his hilarious sense of humor in there.

You know, coming to America, too, was a lot of fun. I feel like Eddie Murphy could be doing more acting in comedies. That'd be great. Oh, now there's talks that it's going to be Tracy Morgan. Okay, that's also fun. They're still talking about this movie. As long as it's a hilarious black guy, I'm in. All right?

Just give it to me. They are still talking about this movie. So we can't lose hope yet. Damn, Tracy Morgan, I feel like he hasn't stepped out on anything big in a long time. That'd be a big moment. Yeah, since his accident. Yeah. Man, they looked so good in the movie Twins.

All right, now I'm just looking. Now I'm losing myself. You're looking at a sauce. I'm losing myself. That was the list. That was this week's episode of page seven. Thank you so much for hanging out with us. Wait, we didn't do the blinds?

Oh, yeah, we got to do the blinds. Yeah. Can you not? Oh, we're late. We'll speed. Well, it's all right. We've been having fun. We'll speed run them. Love it. Hey me with the share. I think I'm going. Blind!

Items. Oh, we can't see them. This A-list singer slash sometimes actress slash cartoon lover is just singing what I already told you a long time ago. Her ex cheated and also used her name to get business and women. Who likes a cartoon character, but in real life, who's a bitch. Arianna Nande. Yes, Arianna Nondi.

Yes. Randi Nundi. And Spongeb. Dalton Gomez is who she's referring to recently. Grandi recently posted after the release of her album, Eternal Sunshine, which is getting love. That a decent review on Pitchfork. People in chat were popping off about it last night. I love it too because people were like, it's actually good. Naner, nan or nan. I'm like, she can make a good album. She's still evil and a spiderous. No, and also, we will talk about the boys' mind over on the leftovers. The boys' mind is a much better song than yes and. I will, that's a, that's, I agree. And I've listened to much better song. I've listened to some of

the album, except for the lyrics piss me off, but I've listened. The lyrics miss me off, but we're going to talk about that. But I've listened to some of the album, and I agree. I like this a lot better. She's not trying to be as much of like a rapper as she was trying to be able to, if that makes sense. I feel like it's more a genuine effort more so in her part. Anywho, the lyrics in question, I've never seen someone lie like you do so much even you start to think it's true. So now we play our separate scenes. Now, now she's in my bed, mm-hmm, laying on your chest. I'm in my head wondering how it ends. And another line she says she got, quote,

played like Atari, and she's found a, quote, good boy, and he's on my side. Oh, is he good? Where's the infant? Also, played like Atari is a shit metaphor. Because actually, Atari's are like hard to play, one would probably say, because it was such a rudimentary game system, Ariana.

So find a different metaphor, okay? I was played like Super Nintendo or something would have worked better there. I got played like an Atari, infrequently and slowly. Poorly and badly. Which would be a problem, and I understand that. Yeah, anyways, she's whatever, but also maybe made a good album, but whatever. Okay, adding to the misery that will be the week of this A-list actor is that his favorite monsieur got deported.

The actor loved the rug and tubs, rubbing tugs from him. Sad Brad. It's a sad Brad week. Sad Brad. Missier, massage boy. And he doesn't even get his mussels from him. massages this week? How is he going to make it through?

Jerked off by a man and it's so sad for him. The blind linked to an article from Vox titled, No One Wants in Oscar as badly as Bradley Cooper and it accuses him of being a tryhard. All right, Bradley, I've done shitting on you for the day. Those are all

my Bradley Cooper material for the day here. Last but not least, this is a weird one. This foreign-born A-list, mostly movie actress, is hooking up with the ex of this singer. So let's break it down. The actress was seen last night, I believe, she was there.

She's a badass, and I'm scared of her, but she's also so hot. She's a badass, but she's hot. She's kind of in the same realm as Angelina Jolie in that way, like intimidating, but hot. You want to be... Charlie's their own. Yes. Now, this is the weird one.

the ex of the singer. So the singer, pop singer, very well known, loves knives. Britney Spears, so Sam Asgari. Are you talking Sam Azgari? Yeah, and that weird? Wait. Isn't that weird? I made it a little easy for it.

They're together? Apparently, they're hooking up, which is weird. Asgari, this is the blind, though, of course, it's all alleged. Asgari recently attended a tennis event hosted by Charlize Theron called the 20th annual desert smash. held in Laquinta, California. And I feel like there was a bit of a desert smash going on off the court, maybe even on the court too.

But imagine sleeping with Britney Spears' ex you'd spend your whole life just being like, is Britney Spears mad at me? And I don't know if I could live with myself if Britney Spears was mad at me. I can't be Justin Timberlake. I'll never want to be Justin Timberlake at this point. You know, it's just a nightmarish

to know that she hates would hate me. So, absolutely. Yeah, I just want her to like me. I don't want her to hate me. I mean, I love Charlize Theron, and I'm going to root for her. But also that man wronged Britney Spears. He seems to have perhaps married her in some sort of cash grab, or I don't know what was going on there. But it seems like it was not, I don't like him.

I don't trust. Yeah, we seemed to like him and trust him. And then he seems to have shown himself to be untrustworthy, unless there was totally fair and legitimate reasons for the divorce, which is also probably pretty likely. Yeah. Where is the woman, royal family? Where is she? Where is the ring? And I rest my case.

And yeah, if anything, where's the ring? Because I'd like to, man, I'd love to sell that thing. God, I'd get a lot of money. Yeah, it's like the Titanic ring, you know, or the necklace, the heart of the ocean. Well, there you go. So I can see again. Welcome back. It's done.

Welcome your eyes back to the world of the seeing. Wonderful. And thank you, everyone. Now we can officially end the episode of page seven. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us. and I hope we find out more by the time this comes out. And I don't know what's going to happen with Kate Middleton. Absolutely.

I'm worried for her. Where is her neck? I'm worried for her butt. Yes. And we were, I guess, you know, hopefully by next week we will know more. And my name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me in Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with MJ and I with us on Wednesday mornings over on Twitch.

dot TV forward slash oh no witch Jackie because we are playing the Sims. Amber Nelson is currently seducing the Grim Reaper while we have to continuously kill Sims so that we can get her to continue to seduce the Grim Reaper. So come hang out with us while we woo-hoo through the morning on Wednesdays. There you go. You can follow me, hopefully, on Twitch. Twitch.tv.4 slash oldenator's hell. What's my ban is up.

hopefully that will be the last of that for the foreseeable future. Twitch.combe, forward slash hold date or so. I was trying to stream every day in March. Looks like I'm going to miss a day there, but maybe we'll figure out how to spin that into a yum. Take that yuck and give it a yump. Yeah.

So check me hopefully every single day for the rest of the month besides the 12th, which has already passed. So a lot will have changed by Thursday. I mean, God knows where Kate will be, where I will be. Now I'm missing. It feels insane.

Twitch.tv.tvon.com ford slash page 7 podcast. Please join over there. Already gave the pitch on all that stuff, except for I didn't mention the Buffy Watch alongside to $10 a month. It is... Oh, we're having a blast. It's getting hot and heavy over there. People are loving it. And we're going to keep slamming down that hot content for you. And last but not least, page 7 podcast at gmail.com, please. Your conspiracy theories. This Bradley Cooper one was amazing. And I really appreciate those every week. So please send them in on page 7 podcast. at gmail.com.

M.J. My name is M.J. And I'm M.J.K.L. Kat on Instagram. Let's sing the song. Shout. Shout. Shout. Let it all out.

These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read it to you. Come on. It's the shiggity shiggity shoutouts. Thank you guys so much for sending in your shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. and you can send in your own shoutouts. If you'd like to page 7 podcast at gmail.com,

just hit us up. And that is 7 the number or 7 spelled out. Page 7podcast at gmail.com. Or you can be like Victoria and just send us amazing pictures of banana ducks, which I have not seen and didn't know that I needed to see them. But now everyone do yourself a flavor and look up banana ducks because they're really cute. And then the peels. make it look like they've got little feet.

And now I would like one. And so thank you, Victoria, for giving me some other, you know, a chotchky that I have to desperately have in my life because I get attached to things. Thank you so much again, Victoria. And thank you to everybody that sends in to Jade for your Akatar thoughts. I really appreciate you. And I just, to everybody that takes a second to just send in shoutouts or conspiracy theories or blind items or whatever.

I just want to say thank you. Starting our shoutouts today. This one goes out to Megan. Megan says, I have been listening to you guys for years. You are always a bright spot during my week and you have seen me through many ups and downs. I would love to give a shout out to my amazing boyfriend, Rob. We are celebrating our one year anniversary and I couldn't be happier. On our first date, he held my hand, stole my heart, and asked me to be his girlfriend.

That's so cute. It has been an adventure ever since. Much love and happy anniversary from Meggers to Handsome Rob. And here's to many more. Oh, thank you so much for the love, Megan. And we are sending you and Handsome Rob many, many years of lusting and loving for each other. so much love to you both. And next up, we have a very special shout out to a very special member of our chat.

This one goes out to AJ. AJ says, hi, you guys, longtime listener and Twitch person, Avon. And I wanted to give myself a shout out for this week because I get top surgery tomorrow. And I'm really nervous. So speaking to my future self right now, listening to page 7 a few days after my surgery, If you include this, yes, you did do it right, AJ. You're going to hear this a couple days after your surgery. AJ, you fucking did it.

You went through it. I'm so proud of you. It's so difficult to go through a surgery and you fucking made it to the other side. I'm so happy for her. AJ continues on to say, MJ coming out as trans helped me start my journey. And I can't believe I am finally here. I'm so, so, so nervous. But thankful of all the trans.

people out there who did this before me and put all that info on the internet. Shout out to the top surgery subreddit, you the realist. Giving a shout out to the AJ in a few days who will be recovering from surgery, but who will also have gotten rid of these big old sacks

of yellow fat. You did it, bitch! Thank you to MJ for doing something so individually big that likely rippled out to many people and inspired them to also explore their identities. And also, also I love AJ.

I was like, and thank you, Jackie and Holden, but like, it's not about us. And thank you, AJ. I appreciate you saying that, but you're right, it's not about us. I'm sending so much love to you, and I'm so happy for you

for going through this process. And yes, living the best life that you deserve to have. Sending so much love out to everybody listening right now. Oh, thank you for your shoutouts. Thank you for your love. And thank you for hanging out and being you. Love you guys so much.

We will be back next. week, join us and send in your shoutouts to page 7 podcasts at gmail.com. We love you. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.