Page 7 - Ep. 529: It's Backwards Week

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

This week Jackie, Holden, and MJ are feelin' DYNAMITE despite a DARK NEWS WEEK complete with the Kate Middleton mystery ending with a Royal cancer announcement and Diddy's Empire seemingly crumbling (check out this week's Leftovers for even more terrible news with 'Quiet on the Set'), Jackie goes to bat for her ITALIAN heritage and is STILL trying to make Springsgiving a thing, Page 7 FLIPS THEIR STANCE ON GOOP, Rebel Wilson drops bombs on the path to the release of her autobiography which makes Jackie admit she has judged her too harshly, Anne Hathaway addresses the HATHAHATE, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Does Beyoncé control Paramount and LVMH (the parent company of Louboutin)?!?! A list with an annoying headline, THE ANNUAL CATS WATCHALONG IS ONCE AGAIN UPONST US! This Saturday, March 30th at 5:30pm PST/8:30 EST grab your dog costume and your laptop, join Page 7 over at https://www.twitch.tv/holdenatorsho and mooooore!!!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It has been stuck in my head, but only this part of the song, because it's all that I know. Because I'm T and T. I'm dynamite. T and T. T and T. I'm power load. T and T.

Watch me explode. I'm T&T. You better watch out because I'm here to explode. Your ears and your brains. Welcome to Bay 7. Wow. Is this another new metal? No, it's ACDC.

Yeah, that's ACDC. You didn't know that's ACDC? I'm sorry, I don't always recognize Jackie's songs in the beginning, Holden. Sometimes they are very true to the text. But it's ACDC. Every ACDC song sounds the same. It's the most easy to recognize. No, I should have started it with, oi, oh, now I know.

And maybe you would, I think now the second you hear that oi, you're like, MJ, I can just feel your ears perk up because you're like, stop or ACDC. Yeah, always my love language. Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then all of a sudden you start skanking. You're in the middle of a show. MJ, come down, come down. No, you got a thrash, not skank.

Oh, I don't know. Wait, wait, what's the difference? No, I'm just saying if it's, if it's, you can only skank to sky. You can't skank to hair metal, actual metal, hard rock, you know. No, it should, you're telling me I shouldn't bring out my skanking abilities at the Glory Hammer concert. I'm nervous. I don't know if I'm enough of a nerd.

I'm worried I'm going to get kicked out of the nerd concert because the nerds are going to understand that I don't know enough about their lore. I was going to say nerds are very welcoming, but that's not always true. This is the thing, yes, they can be gatekeeping at times, but they're so desperate, especially a niche band like this, they're so desperate to bring more people into the fold

because they know deep down that it's unappealing even to them. So they need to try to dress it up and make it as good as possible because at some point you just get brainwashed by whatever nerdy thing you're into, right? So if it's like fantasy, cosplay lore kind of things, that you get sucked into this band, and then you're like, this band's by identity, and then you age 10 years,

but you're just like, refuse to let go. Refuse to let. Are you trying to talk to me about Akatar right now? Do I feel barbs right now? And I'm not talking about the fan days. Or maybe I'm talking about Buffy. I mean, come on. I feel, actually, no, I'm glad to see the Buffy

is, I'm now realizing, is a proof of, of concept for like maybe the things you liked as a kid are okay. Yeah, right. We don't have to throw out every as it is fresh in many in people's minds this week with the quiet on set documentary.

It's nice to find something from... How dare you? I'm sorry. You just got to sprinkle it in. Holden said throwing stuff away from our childhood and aren't we aren't many of us throwing some stuff away from our childhood this week?

That's all I'm saying. Oh man. MJ, do we need to have a dark conversation about this documentary series on the leftovers because I feel like I feel like do you need to like get it out of your system but we cannot talk about it on the main feed this is a Kiki we're having a Kee. People are having their coffee right now. They're entering their data. They're putting data into the spreadsheet. I think all of us in the back of our minds are thinking about the documentary because I'm pretty sure the all of us all of our generation watch the documentary in the last week. I'm fairly sure. Sure. That's what I, yes, I agree that it is not fun enough to talk about on this show. You're right about that. But it's fun.

It's not fun enough. It is pop culture right now. I feel like everyone from, yeah, between Holden's age and Jackie's age and is like really, really rocked to the core this week. Yeah, pop culture got really dark this week. It's just been quite on set and cancer. And Piddy. And Piddy. And Piddy.

This is a rinkered. It's a rough week. It's a real rough week for sure. Yeah, let's acknowledge the giant elephant in the room, the giant British noble elephant in the room. I won't ride on you. We can't do that anymore. Oh, you put that trunk away. I will not put an outfit on you.

Sorry, I forget. Terrell's always wanted to just peanut at me in the middle of my show. Totally, I get it. Yeah. You got you rid of that thing. Get it out. Well, you get rid of it because we need to acknowledge that, of course, the news is broken and what's her name as can't? So it's brutal.

No, it is very. I just need to go back and say, we were never making fun of Kate Middleton. Yeah. We were making fun of the royalty. Yes. We were making fun of like how much they were bungling. Yes. Which is just, they still.

They bungled the whole damn thing. And it's, they bungled. The whole damn thing. From point A to point Z, they couldn't have made more mistakes. And yeah, it was, Kate Middleton was never the target of the jokes because she couldn't be because she wasn't there, right? It was like, what is the royal family doing? And I know that I laughed when Holden said the news, but it's only because it is like

the most strange, well, of course, and we've got to say at the beginning, this is really sad and tragic, not the outcome. No, it's very upsetting. We were all hoping for a BBL. It's not funny. It's not funny. There's nothing funny about this news. She's a mother, all of that stuff, of course.

I do think that it is fair that the nation noticed, several nations noticed, that the royal family was handling this like a family who had just murdered someone. We're just going to throw out the Photoshop job. We're just going to throw out that whole weird thing. Or how about the body doubles? The body doubles. The Kate doubles. that are still a thing.

Also, let's talk about how Charles still seemingly did not really visit her in the hospital, which makes that even way more fucked up. So, there are many questions yet to be answered. And right, we wish, we of course wish nothing but health and recovery for the princess. Of course. But also, again, when people are like, how dare she not have any privacy? I'm sorry, you married into the royal family.

That's literally your job. You don't have any privacy. that's just an unfortunate, yes, side of it, but you knew what you were getting. They are taxpayer-funded public figures. Their only job is to be public figures. That's only thing they do. The announcement itself is very sad. Even that video is still, there are things about it that are weird.

It's a weird video. And I wish that, again, because a lot of people, I think anyone who has a personal experience with cancer is, like, going to have a really emotional response to this news. because of course. It's devastating. And I certainly wish that as a taxpayer-funded public figure, she could have used this. And there's going to be people like she doesn't owe you anything.

Okay, we can discuss who owes what. You know, there's lots of people who don't owe anybody anything. But let's talk about what kind of cancer. Let's get into more detail of like how she found it, why she went into the surgery in the first. But like let's uncover these things so we can talk about it. Make a public. What kind of cancer does she have?

Service announcement. What kind of foundations do? support it. Let's talk about these things. Even if, if there's people saying, but she deserves privacy, then even if you don't want to get into the nitty-gritty of the health stuff,

and yes, you are a public figure, but, you know, private medical information, sure. But couldn't, maybe you even just throw in a, be sure to get your annual screenings, you know, anything, something, anything, to make it a public service announce. It's just so weird to be like, I swear I'm not dead. See, I'm not dead.

And aren't you a bad person? for wondering where I was. And I feel like that's, the royal family is very good at being like, oh, aren't you all ashamed of yourself? You've gone and killed Diana. And it's like, actually,

you're, the royal family was the one who, wait a second. Was the cause of almost all of the pain in Diana's life, right? Like, and this whole, the last three months that people didn't know where she was, that was the royal family bungling this, right? And so, and then it kind of got turned into like, oh, the public.

Oh, how, the public and it's like, I think they're still hiding something else. Sure. I think there's something else that they're still hiding and that they are juke it away from it. And now you're not like allowed to be super vocal like that, Jackie. And you're being brave right now. I appreciate that. But you're not allowed to be my vocal now that this announced it because everything is insulting now.

And don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that Kate is lying about having cancer. I'm not saying any of these things. I feel bad for Kate Middleton and I only wish her a speedy recovery. Yes. But the royal family is fucked up. They're just, and I think that is something we can agree on. They handled this like murderers.

This was so weird. Why did they do it like this? Maybe because they've been murderers for so many, many generations that they're like, well, once a murderer are always a murderer. Also, also, I just wanted to throw this out there right now, too. I was not trying to be insulting at the beginning when I said, what's her name as cancer? I literally forgot her name because I brain damage from my party.

Oh my God, brave. Also, you're holding, you're being brave. Thank you for saying it. Thank you. Say your truth, Holden. Now I'm going to go eat a banana out of a sex worker's vagina. You better not. You better not.

Actually, you can do whatever you want as long as the person is consenting. Absolutely. Just make sure there's a bunch of consent going on there. Banana, yeah. Banana yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll make sure she sings that song before I do. Yeah, you can eat a banana out of me. Yeah, you can eat a banana out of me.

But did Megan Markle know, right, that this was. going on when she decided to launch her lifestyle brand. Thank you. Thank you. I was in my group, my friend group text being like, I doubt it. This bitch launched her lifestyle brand one week ago.

I bet she did it, but still, it is, kind of, it is a funny circumstance. The only reason why I'm saying I doubt it actually is just, but actually this is all bullshit. So what,

no, who knows? Maybe they did know, but it did say that, you know, like last week there was an article like, Harry and Megan like flock to the, you know. Yeah, they come out in support.

To them in support. Yeah, but you can write any kind of headline you want. Oh, those tippy typist, you can write whatever you want. William probably pulled the same shit on Harry that they're trying to pull with the rest of the world where it's like, now don't you feel bad for being upset with me for all the horrible things I've done to you as a sibling? I think it's the exact same situation because they had just done like a memorial for Princess Die thing and like Charles or William or whatever. You mean the picture he was in with P. Diddy? we all know Harry's a part of whatever P. Diddy's doing. That was a different Diana Memorial.

In 2007. Sorry, that was a sidebar. Literally they're like, Prince Harry is involved with P. Diddy's dealings. But also there was just a picture and we don't know if he actually is anything to do with it or if they were just in a picture together. So sorry, sidebar. No, but regardless, I bet it's the same thing. They were at some Princess Side Memorial and like Charles were, I keep fucking names, William left before Harry like, signed on to the Zoom call or whatever.

And, like, they don't interact. That was, they don't have interaction. So it would make sense that William would. But that's shitty too, you know. Oh, I get to find out on TV. I get to find out on Twitter about my sister-in-law. Oh, yeah, very hurtful. Very upsetting.

Well, and this is the thing about the Megat, there's no good, like, whether she knew or didn't know, like, there's no way that it makes Megan Markle look good. Because if she just didn't know, but just knew that her sister-in-law was like maybe missing, but still decided, was like, you know what, I'm going to go ahead with the launch. Fuck her, I don't want to reschedule.

That's kind of funny. But if she did know, that's also kind of funny. You know, there's just no light in which Megan Markle launching her lifestyle brand, whilst the princess has not been proven yet to be alive was a good move, but she went ahead and did it. I just love it. You go, girl. I kind of love the, it's like the good and the bad Janet.

I feel like Megan Markle and Kate Middleton are the light and the dark forces. Yeah. And it is, it's got to be so frustrating for them to watch the media have such a heyday about pitting them against each other. But also, man, slurp, slurp, give me that soup. I am here to slurp up every no noodle of it. Ooh, every little, ooh, a little piece of carrot. And I say, ooh, this isn't a soup.

This is a stoop because it's so chute. I thought you hated Rachel Ray, Jackie. I do. It's a stoop, though. And I do use the word stoop in my everyday light. You're the opposite of me. I love Rachel Ray, but I hate the word stoop. Yeah, bro, stoop are sitting on smoking weed for getting about your responsibilities, bro.

Yeah, you can still do that on your stoop. You just bring the pot outside. Yeah, man. Rachel Ray thinks that a thick soup or a thin stew is called a stoop, and it makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. Yeah, it's just a thin version of the thing or the thick. Whatever. What are we getting that? It says stoop.

I mean, they're talking about the stoop. Sorry, we're all talking about all these very upsetting, intense things. And meanwhile, my community is in disarray. And, yeah, of all of the very important articles we could be talking about, what I am bringing up right now is that the Italian American community is upset because there was, how dare they? One tweet that went out saying that Italian cookies from the deli were disgusting. And so the Italian-American community, we rose up.

We know how to stand up for what we believe in. Because the Italian cookies, while maybe are boring to some, are perfect to others. And I say, get back in your corners, all you pastriists, all right, that you don't know what we go through. A rainbow cookie is a perfect cookie. Come at me. Come at me. Yeah, this was a head scratcher. This does seem to have been started by one single tweet.

It's like all the New York Post articles that are written by. that are started by one tweet. And it's like some person was like, I don't like this plate of cookies. Yeah, it's literally like the subreddit unpopular opinions, you know, which I love, by the way, because it's... They turned it into an entire article, though.

Yeah, rare. And they are wrong. Italian cookies are great. Italian bakeries are the best. So this person does deserve the score in the entire Italian-American community. And at least we're all united around that, all right? We're not united around a lot of bigger other things,

but we might all be united around. this. Let's talk gobble gul. We don't gobble gul around, right? Because especially like in this our week of spring's giving, how dare they put such slander on my week? This is like a week for all of us. It's a festivist for the best of us, except there's no pole and it's something I don't know, I guess I don't have a whole, the biggest opinion, by the way, on these Italian cookies. They just look like little yummy little cookies. Yeah, they're great. I just don't understand what sets them apart from, and it's such a varietal, I don't even know what even sets them apart from the other non-Italian cookie, because you've got chocolate and sprinkles, you've got little nuts on one,

you've got the rainbow one, you know, of course. I think you could argue, I'm not arguing this, but I think one could argue they're a little dry. Are you trying to get me keyed up right now? I think one could argue they're a little dry, but what would an Italian American say to that? You have them with coffee. Have them with coffee. You have them with coffee.

That's why you have a coffee. Yeah. So I know. I know. So I'm not. I always hated Biscotti. I never understood why my mom loved Biscotti so much. It was like it's dry.

It's crumbly. But then you dip it in the coffee. That's the thing. You have a little bite you dip in the water. You know what? Like one of the things I love the most about the banana even. Like I like a banana in the morning. Oh God.

Don't get it anywhere. Don't get it. I don't get out of sex worker. It's a sensitive time right now. Hold it. Everyone's upset. She lives out in the whole. Be careful.

I bring her in every morning and eat a banana out of her. No, no, no, the thing I love about consuming a banana is the thirst that I have afterwards for a big old slush of water. That's the whole idea. A lot of times you want that, you know, situation. I like something that makes me actively crave a massive gluggan of water. We, you know, it's because you, you know, guess what you got? Guess what you generally always have? Water, right?

You generally always have it. Okay, unless you're calling MJ and I out for our support or emotional support water bottles? No, no. I've got it with me right now. I panic without it. MJ, there are times I go back to the house after I've left the house when I left without my water bottle. I could just stop and get water somewhere else, but I will go back to the house to get my water bottle to make sure that I've got water. Just because it's not, it's also what it symbolizes, you know?

It's like having your favorite little like stuffy in bed with you because it's symbolizing. that comfort and it symbolizes freedom from oppression and I'm glad you finally brought that up as well. They aren't talking about that at that. Let the royals go. Yes. Let them be free. It's the royals that are being oppressed. Why must we always as the people contain them and force them to being

I don't know? Yeah, we're letting you we're letting you go. I want to see where it takes you holden. Well it's someone to think of the royal chained up. They're just chained up by our ogling eyes and our nosy noses. It's actually their lives that have been colonized in a way, isn't it? Isn't that interesting? How they may be oppressed from time to time. We, the public, have colonized there. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We are the perpetrators. They are the victims. Remember that. Repeat that in your head, dear listener, over and over again until it becomes real.

If maybe they're doing all of this because they're about to say that they don't celebrate and support Easter anymore, but they're going to start celebrating Springsgiving instead. I hope so. Like, do you think that maybe that's what it is? I got to say it, Jackie, I think you're trying to make Springs giving happen in a way. And I'm not sure if it's going to happen. Oh, it's happening in my life. He will rise.

Don't get me wrong. He is, he will be rising. Don't get me. I've risen. You've already risen. Oh, yeah. I've already risen to like, like, three. Three levels past Jesus.

And that's how I know. That's why I'm the bringer of lamb. All right. Jackie, the bringer of lamb. And I bring it in two different forms. One in a slow cooker, one is roasted. But don't worry, there's also a vegetarian lasagna. I know that I might be forcing this,

but some people are going to be celebrating this instead of Easter. I will say, I think Jesus would have gotten a lot more converts if he showed up a lamb instead of crackers. You know what I mean? I mean, come on. Yeah, although he brought the wine. He did bring the wine. But you know, go without wine?

Some slight soft. Softened lamb. Ooh, just big old lamb. I say how young is it? I say, can we make it younger this time? This is my blood and this is my delicious lamb that I slow cooked all day. You've got to try it.

He goes really well with my blood. He has risen. Okay, but my question is... Wallapalooza in that Nazareth. You know what? Hello, Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you. See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich?

Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the brighter side podcast is for you! Oh yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, do-do factory. Boo! Caca-like topics and try to find the brighter side.

Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? At least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. Do you think that Gweth Paltrow was drinking dairy milk or like oat milk in her hot ones? Gotta be oat milk. Probably.

Gotta be old milk. Although it looked like regular milk. milk, but it did. She can't be reading. Like, there's no way she can ingest dairy. She's eating the hot, she's eating the chicken wings. I was looking, I was like, it's going to be like a vegetarian wing. I watched the whole thing. Yeah, I watched it too. And I hate to say it. Jackie, I agree with you. She's very enjoyable in it. Don't. Don't. This is, I know, a lot of upsetting things are happening right now. Okay. The Royal Family is a victim. This makes sense for the week. Yeah. Nickelodeon is finally undergoing what probably should be happening to him. I love the FBI now. because they're rated me to his house. Just this one time. It's backwards week, okay? And Guineatho is incredibly charming in this video.

I'm incredibly charming. I'm, and you know what? I feel like you always talk about, like, your friends that you talk to about like Tay, MJ, like your friends that you talk to about like the British Royals. And I have one friend of mine, one of my oldest friends, and he is absolutely in love with Gwyneth Paltrow always has been. Really? Usually whenever he's like, I love that she's an ice queen.

love how frozen she is. I love that she's going to make me feel bad about myself, et cetera, et cetera, which I do understand that side of things. But this came out and he was like, you watch her be a real person. You watch her, like, see her majesty. And I watched it.

And I understand the appeal. Man. I get it. She is because she, except for the fact that, like, it was so hot and she's like, freaking A, which also annoys me. You don't, just saying freaking A. Oh, good. Can we talk about that? Yeah, I don't like adults in adult situations saying freaking. It's like this big, weird turnoff for me. I mean, I'll let it. It's not like a huge deal to me, but it's like a minor like, come on. Say the real world. Makes you think of Chelsea when she said stinking. That's so stinky. I sometimes say freaking or freaking because I think it's funny. And I like, I feel like when I was a teacher, I got so I had to like really cultivate not swearing. And so I like just kind of got used to not swearing. But also it's fair.

Adults saying like swear word euphemisms around other adults is weird. But also she does say fuck a couple of times. And it is weirdly satisfying to hear Guadeth Paltrow like say fuck while eating actual chicken wings. I don't know why. It's like, yes, bitch, you're just like us. You're just like us. And the fact that she was actually eating the chicken wings. And I did make a joke that I was like, I'll wait till I see her actually eat those chicken wings.

And she did. She does actually. And I know there were just little bites. Tiny bites. But still. They've also done. like fake meat wings for guests before. At least they did it like once.

I was gonna say I assume they do you know, they do a, you can get great vegetarian wings these days. For sure. That wasn't so much my concern. It was more watching her consume calories that are extra, that are deemed extra. I know. That I was so like meat or not.

What about her blood sugar spiking? I know. And I just, I, but the fact that honestly, I gained respect for Goop because she showed up. I know. And she did it. She didn't half ass it. She ate every single one.

She ate it like a goddamn champion. She did. I was very impressed. She was very entertained. The fact that like I accidentally watched the entire hot ones that she was on. Yeah. Because I just kept watching it. And I was like, God damn.

I know. Ooh, goop. You get out of here. Don't you start making me intrigued? I don't shouldn't understand you at all. I know. I didn't even watch the whole Sydney Sweetie one. And we all know that all three of us here are obsessed with her. And I was like, okay, I get it.

You're hot. You're eating wings. I'll skip to the end. But I watched the whole goop one. And I kept thinking of that interview she did where she talked about her coffee and her water and her, you know, how unpleasant it was to hear someone talk about food and calories that way. Yes. But then it was like kind of healing to see her eat the chicken wings. It was.

You know, I feel good for her. chicken wings in front of Kate Middleton, and that would help her situation out a little bit. I think maybe she can heal the world with wings. If Goop can eat, if Quidotro is willing to put her body, her body on the line with these spicy wings, then can't we all? And don't you feel ashamed, listeners? Don't you feel bad? You're ever doubting. The Quiddith Poucher can eat those wings and charm you while doing it.

For shame. she's the victim here. I know. She's another victim. She's another victim this whole time. Of the public. Yes. Yeah, I feel so bad for Gwyneth Paltrow. That's who I look at.

I'm like, oh, you poor baby. Oh, no. Although I would if I had never had sugar in my coffee before. I imagine I would probably feel the same way. Tots. And just be like, just the tiniest bite. I thought that she was also fun for saying, fuck you, Bill Clinton, for falling asleep in front of her

while watching the premiere of the movie Emma. And she's like, It was a big movie. And I read this article and I was like, all right. Annoyo. And then I watched it in the hot ones and I was like, she was just funny when she said it. It wasn't even like in a bitchy way. She was just very genuinely, she seems nice.

It is super funny. Like they play this game where he reads all that taglines of all for movies. And we've talked about shallow hell on the show and how it did not age well. And I think that Guedithelter probably knows more than anyone did the tagline. It was like she doesn't fit into this box. or something. He did all these other taglines for her movies talented Mr. Ripley

and she was like getting all of them and it was like really funny and then I think the tagline was like she's too big like life is too big her life is too big to be contained or something and she was like shallow hell and then she was like wait a minute that was a really fucked up guess

and it was really funny which made me like her even more I know I know just that glimpse of being like oh I hope that sometimes Goop is like lying in bed at night I don't wish her ill I don't wish ill on Kate or Coup. I don't wish it on anyone, really.

I don't wish it on anyone. I wish no else. Well, it depends on if you're doing things like P. Diddy's doing, but you know, that's Yeah. But it's like, I didn't need to get an illness for it. You know what I mean? There's other ways to punish a person. Yeah, like a license to ill.

You know, like if you give those out and you're like, I've got a license to ill. So I guess am I a doctor? Exactly. I just like the idea that Gwenith Paltrow has like one single regret that she carries around in her brain. Other than that, she, this bitch. looks like she is living minute to minute. Doesn't look like she has a whole lot going on behind the eyes, to be honest. But she's obviously very smart.

She remembered all of the taglines to all of her buoys. And she does seem to at least carry a little ounce of regret for shallow hell, which I think is kind of fun. We all have regrets. And I hate to say this because, like, things that I do know about Goop that I already enjoy is the fact that she likes and uses drugs, at least hallucinogenics, as well as she likes to fuck. Yeah.

And I think that I was going through like almost like a maybe is this my midlife crisis. Uh-huh. That like, I was like, have I enjoyed Goop the entire time? Do I actually love her? Do I? Or this is the problem. Do I? Has, has, have we hit the age?

Yeah. Have we hit the age? It's like one of you're young and everyone tells you'll be conservative when you're older, which. No. Uh, yeah. But I do, I think that the, I was actually thinking about this. Have I aged into Goop?

No, I feel like I am having a midlife crisis. Am I too? I'm so old. I like Goop now. I'm voting for Mitt Romney, 2024. I'm doing it. It's a ride in. It's a ride in. It's absolute right in.

I don't like that thing where they're like where older people tell younger people like all your values are stupid and they'll all go away as you get older. Right. I was trying, but as I was watching this, I enjoyed her so much that I was like going through. I was like, wait a minute. Why do we hate Goop again? And I was remembering. And there was the time that she was like tried to buy like a.

meals worth of groceries with food stamps, remember? And she was like, I ran out of money after seven lives. I bought seven lemons and a bunch of cilantro. And I feel like it's just with her, it's like, honestly, the most insidious thing about her is, people were upset about her in the way she talks about food because it can contribute to disordered eating. And I think that that's very real.

Yes. I think that part is very real. But I think the other, the most little something about her is just money stuff. Things that she has often said, too, is that these are things that work for me. I do think that it does. I think it is like complicates the idea and the question of,

of talking about and triggering disorder eating. Right. But like what I at least will say is that she said, like she's not telling people, oh, you can only drink water and you can't put sugar in your coffee, even though I think that she is intimating it. Yeah, exactly.

But I, and also remember the time when she was like, I invented yoga, even though I think that that was a joke, which also makes me like her more. Right. Right. That's,

I think that, that was what was, happening to me during this interview, I was like, oh, was Guanteth Peltro more self-aware this whole time than we had been giving her credit for? And I think that unfortunately, the answer to that is yes. It doesn't mean she's necessarily a great person, but I think she might be in on the joke a little bit more than I was ever willing to give her credit for, especially because as such a rich person, she does seem so out of touch. And she just constantly does these out-of-touch things. So it's kind of impossible to imagine her being in on the joke. But I think that at least with some of the goop stuff

and the whole this candle smells like my pussy or whatever. Like I think she's trying to be in on it, which doesn't always work. It's annoying. I do not protest. I'm pretty sure she has the money to hire a self-awareness coach. Whoa. That's right. I'm calling it right now.

A new profession that is happening a they're just like us coach. You hire one and it just gets you through. And Bradley Cooper, you need to get one by the one. Real quick. Little side. Also, MJ, I will say, those people that told you when you got older, would like become conservative Republican or whatever and all that. They're presupposing that you were going to get really rich and successful.

So shame on them. Yeah, little did they do. Little they don't. I'm still broke. Fuck off. Liberal as shit. I am broke. What if I don't have the money to want to keep for myself?

What about that? Fuck you. I don't have a retirement. Get you got you to tax, bitch. What about that? What do you have to say about that, you little bitch? I still believe in a welfare state. Because I still need it.

Yes, we will tell them all. Yeah, little did they know none of us to be able to afford a house in 22 and afford. I mean, by us, I mean, just the three of us, I mean, everyone in our generation. Hell, yeah. What did we get? We got a network of got to files.

I'm sorry, I won't keep bringing up. Good Lord. If Jane, save it for the leftovers. Come on, we'll get into it. Good God. I mean, come on. Man. Don't you guys miss the days of love is blind?

now we're going to talk about fucking molestation vacation over there with the series. Well, don't worry. We can also talk about Rebel Wilson a little bit. And you know what? Talk about things that I learned. Man, maybe I just, maybe it's the full moon that happened this week. That like there's all these things that are starting to be brought up. You know, I, in my brain, I have told myself that Rebel Wilson is a liar.

Yeah. And every time I read a headline, I'm like, yeah, well, yeah, I believe that, but she, I mean, we do remember she's a lawyer. Right. And you figured out why, right? Shame on me. Wow. And this is another open confession for a shame on me. You can talk directly to Rebel when you say this, by the way.

I think you should talk directly to Rebel. Rebel, what I want you to know is that it is very annoying as another plus-sized person to be consistently compared to you, no matter what. and I do not enjoy it. And, you know, I don't always... I'm talking to Rebel, Raulton, can you please? Sorry, Jackie, it's Revely. Thank you. Thank you.

And I don't always enjoy, like, every performance. And so it is, sometimes I do get annoyed that way. But publicly, I thought you were known to be a liar because of a very large defamation lawsuit that Rebel Wilson went through and won because the people were lying about her being a liar. She was not the liar. The publications were the liar.

But use the liar now, dog, not Rebel Wilson. Don't you feel bad. Don't you feel bad. Here I am clearing the air. I feel like this is something that I didn't necessarily because I don't like to speak negatively about a person over and over again. I feel like this was more happening on the inside of my brain. Yeah.

And I would just choose to not. include articles or things like that because I'm like, well, what is the truth in it? So now it's full game. And this is good timing because Rebel Wilson has a book that is coming out. She has written, I believe it's an autobiography or a memoir. And there's this huge chapter that has just been released that she has been like hinting at this huge asshole in Hollywood. She's been hinting about it. And she wouldn't say the name. And now she has openly said the name because Sasha Baron Cohen is suing her. Right.

And she has apparently an entire chapter talking about the experience she had working with Sasha Baron Cohen on Grimsby. A movie couldn't remember if you begged to. I don't remember. Yeah, that was definitely, it was like a soccer hooligan gets involved in like politics or something was like the premise.

And I remember it was very much a not one of the popular ones. But to a point that Sasha Baron Cohen has hired, like, apparently a crisis PR manager and lawyers, and, like, they're trying to stop the press to, like, the press talking about the coming out of the book currently. Yeah. And there is, I mean, and there is, right, many reasons to believe. Rob Wilson about this, including tweets that detail exactly what she says in the book naming him. Tweets from 2017 where she describes this powerful figure, but she doesn't name him. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. she says, there's, there's tweets from 2017 where she says, a male star in a position of power. And she's like, right, clearly talking about him. And yeah, it's, it is, you know, it's one of those things when like somebody who you previously were like a huge fan of has like a pretty credible accusation against them. And you're just like, well, you know, for fucking Grimsby or whatever the name of this movie is like, did you, Sasha Barrett Cohen, you had so many, like, interesting and good ideas in your career,

and you just have to go ahead and fucking tank it by being a harasser in Grimsby? Yeah. For that? For that? For that? For a movie? Not that I'm saying you should do it for anything, but, like, for a movie nobody fucking remembers? Yeah, right. For Grimsby?

But, but, yes, I think that, um, I do think that it's funny that you assumed that she was a liar, but now know that she is, in fact, a truth teller, because it was the public. that had written about it. It's also such a funny thing to lie about. She was like accused of lying about her age. She was like, I, I didn't lie about my age. And they were like, you're right. Here's some money. We're sorry. Yeah. Here's lots of money. You are correct. And like, that's got to be, ooh, such, you're already going through. I was already reading through, like, talking about Anne Hathaway was referencing the half a hate that she, received on the internet and that's what stopped her from getting roles. I'm losing my mind here, guys.

We can't do, now we're going to, now we're going to, uh, defend Ann Hathaway. What the fuck's going on this week? I didn't, I didn't think I was defending her. I was just talking about her in conjunction. Wait, do we hanged at Hathaway? I don't think we do. There's empathy inherent in this story where she says that Lidley. But do you ain't Hathaway? I think she shouldn't be the co-host of the Oscars. But everything's upside down. All these stories this week are like, are like, are like, the opposite, it's opposite day. It's opposite day. Yes, we love Rebel Wilson. We're apparently finding out

holding strong feelings about Ann Hathaway. Had no idea. Had no idea. I don't have strong feelings against her, but remember this whole thing is speaking towards how like, it's just weird to come out to say anything to bat for her reputation because she's had everything go great for her. But yes, I definitely remember, it was a weird one.

When she won the Oscar, everyone was like, fuck you. Fuck you, it was. No way, yeah. Yes, they really were. It was crazy. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. People were like that. Yeah, there was a long time

where people were like, fuck this beautiful, talented bitch. You know, and I think that it was mostly unfounded. It was definitely just like, for me, it was that girl in theater class that just like always got cast in the lead, never had, you know what I mean? Just like everyone, everything she did was perfect

and everyone loved it. And you know what? And I would love to name, name. I was about to start naming names. And you're just like, fuck you. Don't start naming names. And we're not even necessarily like, They're just unlike, they're easy to dislike.

They're not even like necessarily like mean or anything like that, but they're just like very dislikable for some reason. You can't even put your finger on it other than the fact that they just get everything in life. You know what this? And it's annoying. You know what this whole episode is reminding me of? The part in Arrest Development when Tobias is like, oh, let's ask Michael the marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry. Your wife is dead.

You know, like I feel like that's every time someone has to do like a marriage expert. do like a really awkward apology, I always think, I'm sorry, your wife is dead. And he's like, I'm so sorry. That went too far. I'm so sorry. Anne Hathaway said, weirdly enough, the opposite happened when she was getting all of her great success, and she found it harder to get roles like at a certain point in her career, even though it was like at its peak.

And thankfully, Christopher Nolan put her in that skin tight catwoman suit. God bless him. And it kept her career afloat. And we're all appreciative of that. Yeah, that is what happened to Ann Hathaway. She had like popular girl syndrome where everyone was like, we love her, we love her, we love her. Actually, we hate her.

Yeah, way too, yeah, way too much. You're way too pretty and talented and successful. Yeah. It's annoying. She's too pretty to be Fantine, you know, and I'm like, no, she's saying the hell out of that song. She killed it. Yeah.

But then it's like, or would you rather them saying it about themselves because I was complaining about this before we started recording that Isa Gonzalez, who I've been watching the show three body problem and I've been really enjoying it. But I remember, I was like, where do I know this actress from? And she was in the movie Ambulance. And I remember watching ambulance because it was way too long and had way too many drone shots. Hashtag not sorry, Michael Bay.

More like Michael Ney. Okay, he's a horse. Aiza Gonzalez has come out and said that she is too pretty to be cast. and she's like, I don't get cast because I'm too beautiful. And I, you know, there's something in me. And maybe it is just because like forever the character actress that I rolled my eyes so hard. I thought they were going to be like meatballs rolling off the table and the cheese getting everywhere.

Oh no, my meatballs are gone. And I mean my eyeballs. Yeah, I hear you. I do think, I remember having a conversation with an actor of a friend of mine a long time ago who was very hot and very funny. And that I do, because of the same thing with you always getting, like, sent for like Rebel Wilson type, I think that there was a thing where she was too hot to, like, be sent out for funny roles. And that was very frustrating for her. Because she was like, that I under that part I adore you. And of course, there's, of course, as the person who was never going to be

sent out for the hot roles, and there's that part of you, that, like, inner junior high school or inside of you that's like, oh, it must be so hard. And be so hot. Oh, you're too hot. Yes. It really is. But also, it really comes out in four, so I'm just like, eh, whey. But when we zoom out and we put on our Ken hats and we realize the problem is patriarchy, right? And it's like the same thing that's keeping this woman arguably, I don't know anything about the actress you're talking about whether she's actually too hot to get cast or whatever. But same thing with Ann Hathaway. She's a very attractive woman.

I mean, I'll give it to her. She's very attractive. And it was, I do think that there was, you know, there was something going on with Anne Hathaway where it was like, well, we can't let her get. like too successful and beautiful without like starting to hate her, you know, or you can't be too, you can't be hot. I think it's still like, you know, hard to be hot and funny and like get called for those roles or whatever in Hollywood. Although maybe that's changing now. We're blurring those lines a little bit. Don't worry. I'll let you know. Yeah. Don't worry, guys. It's really changing. Man, they are just clamoring for me. Oh, I'm like, get out of here. I'm going to

They're not. I'm going to breeze right past the fact that I just used the phrase blurred lines. We're going to keep it moving. You know, like, MJ. Yeah, do. MJ, why would you do this to us? Oh, my God. Is that a horse in your apartment or is that Michael Ney?

You do entertain us with some horse tricks. Take some hay and get the hay out of here. Oh, my goodness. I think I know what fucking time it is. Oh, yeah. It's time to unpack the deceit and love. of Hollywood. That's right.

Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Does Beyonce control Paramount and LVMH, which is the parent company of Louis Vuitton? Yes, she does. That's right. I hope she fucking does. It's a dark web theory. Okay, this comes in from Liz Laf Love, who our Twitch Chatter, who said, let's see,

And I didn't realize it was a tongue twister at that moment. Lots of love from Liz Laugh, Love, YC. Because apparently she remembers watching Jackie desperately tried to say my username. And know that now I'm more determined than ever to join the stream and get y'all good and drunk and make great comments in chat. So you'll be forced to struggle with my name. Bah ha ha ha. Another fun fact is that my name was inspired by Henry's side story sign off of LiveLap Love. I heard it and knew I needed to incorporate it into my brand.

So a big, Hail Satan to Henry for the inspected. Absolutely. There's a big... And look up Liz Laugh-Lovelove. There's a big gush here for us. Right. Is that what the name of? Liz Laf Love, M-I-C. Liz Laf Love.

Liz Laf Love. There you go. So is Beyonce in control of Paramount Plus and the parent company of Louis Vuitton, LVMH? Okay. So besides the fact that she stole the show at the Super Bowl with her icon. commercial. Like, are you kidding me with Beyonce AI? Sign me the fuck up for that yesterday, please. Bay dropped two amazing singles. If you haven't drunkenly trash cried to 16 carriages, I highly recommend. Very cathartic. Now that she's announced the project, we know it's a country album.

The reason why this is suspicious is I've noticed that interest has been waning in that damn Yellowstone show that all dudes are watching and that I would see ads for, everywhere about a year ago. It got to the point where I felt like every man I knew who had social media was watching and talking about the show. So not waning. That's the opposite of waning. Anyways, then the 1883 show came about and all anyone could do was talk about that show and I was over it. I felt that the studios were pushing this Western aesthetic and I was not a fan because I just feel like the country Western fashions aren't kind to a bigger body like mine. Denim and leather do not stretched well, so I was not pleased with the direction we are going in.

Q. Ferell debuting a Western-themed line as his first collab with Louis Vuitton, and color me not amused. I realized then that something was fishy, because why the emphasis on Westernware? Then Q Bay's drop, and I'm pissed. Between her labeling her next act, a country era, and a new season of Yellowstone debuting at the end of this year, I think Bay had a and setting up an affinity for country western theme things from male audiences as a preparation for her country album drop anyway. This is a long-ass way to say, I think Bay has decided that the world's next theme is country western and the world was like, okay, which makes her the president of the world,

right? Do you believe or am I just like really high right now? Love you guys. And you have a friend and a forever follower in me. XOXO, X, X, O, Liz, Laf, Love, NYC. But also Liz Laf Love, what that would also mean is that this entire, time, Beyonce's been making money off of the country, Western world, and they didn't even know. And that would be such a great fucking to the people that are like, how dare you try to horn in on our

Western world? Right. And honestly, I love this. You are not too high as someone that is usually too high, but just is always sober while recording these episodes. I want you to know you're valid. in your thoughts. I hope that this is what is happening.

Yeah, man, I'm ready to go back to graduate school just to talk about Cowboy Carter. I feel like the discourse has been super interesting and fascinating. Yes. And so I'm like, I'm living for it. And yeah, I'll believe. I honestly want, you know, again, it's opposite day.

And Beyonce can plunder the wealth. of others. I'm fine with it. Take it all, bitch. Take it all. Take it. Give it to it. It's like an aggression towards, because, you know, once we found out, like, the weirdness she received from even the people in the audience, not people online, the people in the audience of, what was it, the CMT, the,

CMAs. Yeah. It's crazy. That's wild when she went up with the chicks to perform. Right. By the way, I'm, to sit here and be like, she's co-opting country. music or whatever in this way. Does anybody notice how

rap-filled country music is nowadays? Country music became rap like secretively. I just want to throw that out there. If you listen to a lot of country music these days, they literally have like, tend to have like a hip-hop break in their songs.

And we're going to sit here and be like, they're taking this very cultured specific thing, making it, you know, and taking it for them. It's like, what are you fucking talking about? idea of like R&B didn't it start all of these? Oh yeah totally. Genres of music anyway. Like it's like it's it was never out right. Yes. What are talking? Like it's just it's so stupid. It's just people are so they just man they just see their own perspectives and that's all they see. And it's how is it? And how is it? It is my fault. There you go. It's my fault because I'm not rich enough yet to be conservative. So that I can agree with that. So that's how it's my fault. Don't.

worry, someday we're all going to be millionaires and then we're going to be like, Darry! Oh, no! I am rich and now... I'm scared to be out. I no longer wish to pay taxes now that I am very, very rich and like to hoard my money. Thank you very much. I have now become a full, fully

realized American person. Oh, my God. And then we're buying stuff off of Goops Christmas lit, like we go full show of where it's actually pretty good. I'm going to buy a yacht. It's worth the money. Is this what it is? If you're going to get a jade egg for your vagina, just get the good jade egg, you know? Get the good aid.

The Hive song has more porous. It feels like this week is setting us on a different timeline and it's freaking me out. Like everything's up that should be down and down that should be up. I mean, it's a good thing we're watching cats at the end of the week because that always sets the timeline clear, you know. Or it launches us into a four-year alternate reality. Oh, no.

Because right after, or I guess the day after we do the Cats Watch Along wheels, which yes, will be on Saturday, April 30th. The day after, I believe, or March 30th, is a, is a, is a eclipse, and it's supposed to be a very powerful agnes. We can't watch cats before an eclipse. And do you know what an eclipse looks like? A fucking butthole. That's right. And uh-oh. I think I'm here to knock the door. Uh-oh.

Not in Loudon. Someone here to host comedy's eyes. You know what? Gromke is allowed to live on. There's a lot of going on this week. Ronkey does not live here. Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Grunkey, honestly, for even being here?

We've been through enough. All right, grunky. The gronky always rings twice. Absolutely. That's how you know. It's because he calls it dokey bells. Dukey bells. And when you hear the shouts of dokey bells,

don't open the door. He's such a great guy or thing. I don't know what he used. Oh, no. It's time for the list. Who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. It's an annoying headline.

Onset stories, more interesting than anything that appeared on Quibi. That's annoying headlines. Wow, that's a name I haven't heard in a hundred years. This goes out to you, MJ, because I believe we were both starting, or we're talking about starting ER over again. A decade spent using a crutch for the role of Dr. Carrie Weaver left Laura Innis with real life spine curvature. Wow. Isn't that insane?

That bitch. That. Crazy. Why do they make her? Have a, okay, after all those years, well, I guess they probably never thought about what the long-term effect would be, or they probably didn't know also that ER was going to be on for so long. Dr. Weaver, now that's a bitch I hadn't thought about it in a long time. Dude, I know. That's why I saw her and I was like, maybe this is telling us that MJ and I need to start.

And also, by the way, this is great news for anyone who wants to fake a disability. If you do it long enough, you'll actually have it. So there you go. Just get the disability. Good. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah. Great news.

I feel like if I watch ER, it's going to be like when the glaciers melt and like microorganisms that have been frozen for billions of years like are unleashed into the world. You know, like my brain, the synapses are going to start like, they're going to like thaw and like come back online for the first time since 1997, you know, and I don't know if I need that. Oh, I mean, on Friday during Jack and someone played the like, ooh. Remember somewhere over the rainbow, but that version. of it. Oh, yeah. And do you remember the scene in ER when that song plays? Oh, God. Yes. And it brought up that memory and I was just like, I've got to watch it again. Um, anyway, sorry, I'll continue with my list. I'll stop talking about ER. The cigarette smuggling roaches in oranges the new black were real trained cockroaches. Prop master Rachel Weinzheimer said she couldn't just attach a cigarette to a

cockroach and send it on its way. So insect handlers had to teach the bugs. to navigate a prototype maze. They design. Damn. Jackie, this reminds me of how you told me about anatomy of a fall and the dog.

And Gideon and I finally watched anatomy of the fall and I just kept screaming, the dog's an actor. The dog is acting. The dog is an actor. The dog is a real actor. Give that dog an Oscar.

I'm shocked you wanted to what, well, I guess because it's a trial kind of movie because I'm surprised you wanted to watch him in anatomy of a slog because it was... I did not find it to be a slug and I love a murder mystery.

There is no slog and a murder mystery. for me. All right. You found it to be a slag? Is it because it was French? Jackie found it to be quite this log. No, it's just too long.

It was too long. But also, Sandra Hewler? Like, that bitch? I'm so dumb. And the day that we were talking about the Oscars, I think I realized it while we were watching the Oscars, is that Sandra Huler is from anatomy of fault and zone of interest. I didn't even realize it was the same fucking actress.

she's unbelievable to watch. She's in zone of interest, too. Yes. Holy shit. And I know I said anatomy of a slog, but what I also did say is that she's unbelievable in it. So is the kid. Yeah.

And so is the dog. Yeah. My God. I know. That scene, MJ. I know. It's a very good. And the kid, I kept, I was having a real hard time because I was like,

this kid is such a good actor that I was like, child acting should be abolished. She's a ball and this dog. How do you solve the problem, though? How do you solve the character? that problem though, MJ, like how do you, it's like abolishing the police? Like, what do you do to replace? How do you replace? This is an equally important question.

No, I don't know. There was something else that came up. This wasn't the first time I felt this, but there was some, what other, maybe it was reading Jeanette McCurdy's book. I would love the idea where we live in a world where like, kind of like in Shakespeare times, like the men would dress as women to play the women. We're just grown-ass adults portray children and we just all accept it. Yes.

It's just the way things are. It was, I first felt this when I read Jeanette McCurdy's book and I was like, I actually think that this industry might need to be banned. And then, but I listened today, I want to do a big worm time. I'm not going to keep talking about it. But I did listen today to a podcast, to an interview with the people who made quiet on set. And they said that when they were interviewing the child actors, the adult now, child actors, all of the actors said, are you going to use kid actors to like in reenactments for the documentary?

and they were like, no. We won't. By the way, that would be the one is like, but at the same time. That would be really weird. How fucking weird of a choice would that have been? We don't need.

Thank God they didn't. No, we don't need reenactments. That documentary didn't need reenactments. But I thought it was interesting. Yeah, yeah. No, that is cool how protective they, I love the idea of that's actually really beautiful that they would be that protective of like unknown

kid actors. It's got to be hard to watch so much stuff. if you feel traumatized by that time, you know? Yeah. Because so much stuff has kids. I mean, since Jeanette McCurdy's book, I like, I actually, because even when we were,

I remember when season one of Stranger Things came out, and I just was like, these kids are so good, but I feel so worried about them. It just feels so weird to like celebrate kids becoming super duper, duper famous, given everything we know about how that almost always ends. And yeah, I feel like with between Jeanette McCurdy's book

and this, it's like, I don't know, I'm not saying abolished child acting because that kid in anatomy of a slog is great. But I'm just saying there's going to be some structural changes that need to be made. All right. Then, I mean, you even look at like Euphoria Season 3, the shooting is being stalled. And I don't know that, like, they don't know if the season three is going to be coming back out. But you have to like look at the young people, even though obviously not children, but the young people that were in Euphoria, they either became superstars or they, or bad things happened.

Yeah. And it really, like, it is crazy to see. that although the laws obviously are much different, it's just like the idea of being in this industry is very difficult. Right. It's very difficult whether you're great at it, whether you're not good at it,

whether, no matter what portion of it you are in, it's difficult and it's also mentally very fucked. Right. Yeah, it's like, now I'm like, oh yeah, the curse of the little rascals. Maybe it was just because it was a bunch of fucking famous children. Yeah. Bad things usually happen.

Not all the time, Many times bad things happen. Because they're not supported properly. And there's no infrastructure to help them, like, learn how to grow and how to take care of themselves. And there's got to be so many. Sorry, I'm in the middle of the line. The equations on the background in the Big Bang theory are mathematically accurate. David Salzberg, a professor at UCLA studying particle physics, works as a science consultant on the show.

That's nice. Oh my God! But did you know in the movie 300 that Gerard Butler's stunt double played his father? During flashbacks to King Leonidas' childhood Butler stuntman, Tim Connolly, played Leonidas' father,

which helped the family resemblance. Nice. I feel like that, actually, I'm surprised that doesn't happen more often. Yeah, totally. I'm surprised I haven't started hiring stunt doubles to play my dad, just in real life. Yeah, just to like,

show you how to shave. Yeah, she had to do. Tell you, you're doing a good job. Call or text me. Just that would be cool. That would be nice. I don't think it would be nice, though, to be shooting during the movie

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest because the actors lived in the psychiatric ward during shooting. All of the actors who played patients actually stayed in the sleep quarters at the Oregon State Hospital to get a sense of what it would be like to be hospitalized.

I honestly feel like no. Those lists lately have. I've been full of just like the horrors of the work of acting. Good Lord. Oh, yeah. You should have seen the list I chose not to do, which was like reminding you. It was all these stories like, remember how bad this person is.

You don't remember? Remember how bad this person is? And you're like, God damn it. I didn't remember that. Yeah, we didn't need that list this week. But I do remember this. And it always makes me kind of smile, but I guess it also is a yuck. James Cameron made the charcoal drawing of Kate Winsland.

Didentic. I love this trivia fact. Again, hopefully he, I don't know, based it off of somebody else, I would assume. Yeah, this makes me think of, because we did, we mentioned this weird fact on another show recently. And then today in one of the articles you said, it was about the intimacy coordinator. And you and McGregor being like, intimacy coordinators are good. And Jennifer Aniston having a few months ago, I've been like, who needs an intimacy coordinator? and Kate Winslet was like, I would have loved one on Titanic. I was really young and I really could have used the help. Yeah, yeah. And maybe it's because James Cameron was like, can I draw your tits? Yeah.

Well, that and also like, I mean, another story about Titanic that I can never unlearn is when they all got dosed. I believe, I forget it was acid or PCP, but that they were all dosed during a large shoot deck. Yeah, yeah, by a disgrunt. employee, yeah. Really? Yeah, dude.

It's crazy. We haven't talked about on the show. We've talked about the show. It's wild. My brain didn't store it. Yeah, yeah. They all, was it on Titanic? Was it working on Titanic?

Titanic, yeah. And they all ended up in the... It was a bunch of extras were there. Somebody dosed the craft services. Wow. And they all ended up at the hospital and they were like losing their minds. And yeah, it was an insane story.

Yeah, good set to be dosed on. You're just like, today's the day where you're going to be drowned. If you're really like very upsetting movies, you should watch the movie Climax. Gaspar knows Climax. There is also a dosing in that movie. And if you want to see the worst way dosing a bunch of people could go, watch the movie climax.

I still think about it all the time. Last but not least. And now the memory is coming back because it's about, I remember James Cameron himself was also dose. Oh, yeah. They all got dose. That's where. There was a conga line, right, at one point in the hospital.

That was one of the books. The set for Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, which Werewolf Bar Mitzvah Spooky, scary, boys becoming men, men becoming wolves. It took three days to build and it was only on screen for six seconds.

Talk about another thing that lives rent-free in my brain. That is the song, Weirwolf Bar Mitzvah. Is that a joke from 30 Rock? It certainly is. It is one of my favorite jokes from Roch. Anyway, that's my list. That's the list.

for us today. All right. Well, my friends, I think it's about that time that I start going. Blind items. Oh, we can't see them. There's been a lot of buzz about this esteemed indie movie actress turned superhero hooking up with a royal from a very small country that is very wealthy and not named Monaco.

I don't really get the last part. I don't know why it's not named Monica. I don't know what that indicates. Who's hooking up? I'm assuming it must be the person from Monica? I don't know. Who's hooking up with some royal from a very wealthy small country? Sydney Sweeney?

No, she's a little older. Dakota Johnson. She started with big indie movies and now she's like a big superhero. Oh, I see her face. Free Larsen. Yeah, short term 12, right? God, short term 12 is so good. Cried and cried.

If you want a good cry, MJ, short term 12, that'll get you. Oh, my God. It's about an orphanage. Or like a foster, I forget with the technical term. But yeah, it's you will. There's a monologue in that movie that will make you just go. Oh, really? Yeah.

If you forget how good of an actress Brie Larson is. That too. That in room. Watch short term 12 in room right now. Oh, I cried a lot. Don't watch them both in the same day. Maybe give yourself a break. Spiritual success.

Yes, yeah, absolutely. All right. Good one. Good guessing, Jackie. Can you get this one? I think not. This north of... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm a nightmare dressed as a daydream. Holden, please. This north of the border singer used to be a plus list. He spent several nights this month in a different residence than his wife. Beeps.

Then Beba. Nope. I think he has a stupid name. His name, his last... It's nod, beads? His last name is a dumber sounding version of the... other word for champagne.

His first name is... Michael Boubley. I just like what to Michael Bublae. Remember Michael Bublay? What does he do? He's an idiot. I think about every Christmas. We were just talking about Michael Bublay because Henry and I were walking through

like the Americana ball and we were talking to somebody and we were like, yeah, we were just listening to Michael Boubley and the guy went, he's here. And we both were like, no, it was playing over the speakers. But I have never seen. I was like, do people get that excited about Michael Bouble? I had no idea.

I managed to make it just years without forming an opinion on him. Although maybe you could probably find me on page seven years ago being like, fuck that guy, you know, for no reason. His name just sounds like a punchline. Is he a bad? No, I don't, I think he was just like, I think everyone thought he was a little annoying, you know. I think he's probably annoying. And he's, and he's a wife, alleged wife cheater, man.

Oh, no. I guess. Alleged. Alleged. All right. Last but not least, all of... He's got four kids. Damn.

Wow. No wonder he's going to someone else's place. Probably. All of the new deals, the illiterate one, illiterate one, is making, exclude her husband from earning anything from them. She is spending his money, though, to pay for all the marketing leading up to all of it.

Who's got a big thing coming out? It's not J-Lo. No. God, J-Lo, though. I saw a whole, we should maybe talk about that more in the leftovers. About how her tickets aren't selling. Well, just about how everyone is like, Shade.

Everyone is just turning on. I don't think he's having a good time right now. She's having a hard time. She's having a hard time. She's having a lot of money on this incredibly ambitious thing. Yes. We have to watch the documentary. We buried the lead.

Apparently all the good stuff's in the documentary. Did you watch it? No, no, no, no. Okay. Maybe we should. No, I don't spend extra time unless it's for content. I had a, I had a, I got to save it for the content, guys.

That's why. Apparently, like, it really shows, it kind of shows her ass a lot. And, like, I think this, I think this was her trying to, like, legitimize herself or cement herself as, like, a kind of a legend kind of status person with this whole movie, music video, documentary,

tour, all this album, all this kind of stuff. And instead it's doing, like, the opposite. And what I really want to watch a documentary for is apparently it's pretty, a parent that Ben Affleck is like not loving that she's trying to tell their story. Whoa. You know what I mean in this way? Yeah.

Yeah, I don't blame him. He's kind of embarrassed about it. He's like everyone's already making fun of me enough. Yeah. Can you not make three movies about me when everyone keeps talking about how I look like I hate my life all the time? And I saw another like a little video of her like spitting her gum into her assistant's hand during like a like shooting thing or whatever.

But it's just like it's a stuff like. that where you're just like, dude, do you seven years old? Yeah, did you see the video of her? Like, whenever I wear my hair like this. Yeah. Have you seen that? It's great.

It's so good. I mean, this is the thing. I can't hate on her like people want to hate on like we were talking about what Ann Hathaway because the stuff that's hateable is also so funny to me. Yeah. That's why I wanted to give Goop and honestly another shot. And I'm like, man, we champion like funny divas on this show. Yeah.

Why are we championing goo? Are we real? It's new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life for me, I guess. It's less fun. Like, her waspiness is just so annoying. After the ski trial?

I can't believe we didn't love her after the ski trial. Yeah, the ski trial was pretty amazing. I can't believe we had to love her after the ski trial too. Because she turned out to be the hero. This is a big day for us, Scott. Like, I don't know. Are you people feeling in water? It's a classic.

I feel it in the wind. I know. I don't know about the water, but I feel it in the wind. It's a classic. This is, this is great. Well, I feel it in the fire because I'm a fire sign. So, yeah. Don't be mad at us, okay?

We didn't know, okay? Whatever. Anyways. All right, here we go. What alliterative bitch is. We just talked about her last week. We talked about her earlier in the show. Sydney Sweeney.

No, she's coming. Nice guest. Lindsay Lohan. Nice guest. Is it Sydney Sweeney? No, it's not Sidney Sweeney. She's coming out with a whole new effort and we think it will probably fail.

A whole new effort. Maybe she's connected to the whole other thing that I just said is we didn't know about. The whole other thing we didn't know about. What whole other thing? No, what was the other thing? Oh, she's annoying. I think she's a fraud.

I think she's a total fraud. We literally talked about her earlier and wondering how much she knew about the thing that we... Oh, Megan Markle. Yes. And did you know that this brand, is called American Riviera Orchard. Oh yeah. Yeah, we talked about it last week.

Yeah. Did we? I didn't remember that I didn't remember knowing the name. I'm sorry. Oh yeah. American Riviera Orchard is a, it's like rural juror. It's like an on purpose, a cumbersome, annoying. That's how I know she has no idea what the fuck she's doing. That's the worst fucking name for her. I know.

And I don't know. We're gonna, we sell like garden gloves and toothpicks and what else do I see? left and a water bottle. And yes, that's what we will sell. American Riviera Orchard. If she called it Riviera Orchard. If she called it American Riviera. I feel like she took boring words.

Yes. Put them on a dart board and through darts and like the three stuff. Oh my God. You guys, if you go to American Riviera.com, there's just like a logo and nothing else. You can't even find out what they're selling. Same with her Instagram. There's nothing there. Oh, I'm mad about it.

Oh, I don't like it. And it says by Megan, the Duchess of Sussex. Okay, so bitch, pick one. What? Either you have estranged yourself from the family and you're like, those are a bunch of racist colonizers, or you're like, I'm the Duchess of Sussex. You can't be, both. You got to choose, did.

Wait, I got to choose. Is she the Duchess of Sussex? Yeah, he's the Duke of Sussex, I think. Okay, he's still technically, I thought he was stripped of, I thought they were stripped of all their shit. They were just like, I think they might have been stripped from some of the money. Like, maybe all, I don't know. I don't know. Got you.

I just find it very suss that you're going to be like the Duchess by Megan, the Duchess of Sussex. I thought your whole thing was that you're setting yourself apart from them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but don't worry. There's also going to be fragrance sachets, like lavender sachets, non-medicated skin care preparations, bath and shower gels and salts, non-medicated hair preparations. Oh, thank God.

They needed to, you need to know. Not only will they have non-medicated skin care preparations, but don't worry. They will also have non-medicated hair preparations. Thank you. Thank you, Megan Markle. Is this code for like that retinal or something, right? There's like a buzzword.

I feel like there's so many buzzwords around beauty and it's like, are you doing retinol? Yeah. Well, it's just not enough of a percentage where you would require a prescription for it, I would say. Okay. All right. It just said, doesn't it sound like weirdly, like, it just sounds like the way that there's certain buzzwords that are meant to mean certain things. I also assume that she has to say non-medicated so that people don't think that they can go and, like, have their, all of their problems be answered by her, I guess. Like she's not a doctor. Oh, but don't worry, she will be selling non-medicated veterinary grooming preparations.

There is a quote from her or a quote from a source that says, Megan finds the name American Riviera Orchard, perfect. It feels authentic to her. What does that mean? That means somebody asked her like, do you think this sounds like the rural juror? And she was like, no, I think it's a perfect. American Riviera Orchard. Just say that.

Say it out loud. It's fucking terrible. American Riviera. Orchard. It sucks. It's such a bad. That's the first fucking thing. That's the only thing she has.

And she's clearly, by the way, buy the stationary before having any actual ducks in row. You know what I mean? That's what I always joked about. When I was setting up, we set up ourselves a nonprofit, like kind of almost like a theater company,

our sketch group. And I remember the first thing at the first meeting with our person who helped us do that. They were like, don't fucking buy the stationary first. You have to set up all this other stuff first. Yes, totally.

Then get stationary, which is like arbitrary. She's the stationary first kind of person. It's also, you know, it is the beautiful side and the downside of being a crafter. If you're starting a new kind of craft, you'd get just enough to make your first project. You don't buy all of it. This is saying coming from someone that tried to be a scrapbooker last day. You know how much scrapbooking stuff I have? How long has it been since I touched guys?

It's been months. You should see the friendship bracelet kits. We have the many, many kits that we have. Oh, baby. But then that's, it's the, it's the crafters downfall. You go and you buy so much stuff because you get so excited. And then you don't have time. Who's got the time?

That's also a gamer's dilemma as well. You buy all, everything goes on sale and you buy all these games. You never have any time to play any of it. Anyways, that's my blinds. Well, I'll see you next week at the America Riviera Orchard. And it's because that's like where she lives, I guess. Which whatever. Oh, you mean upper own ass?

Then they should call it up my own ass. This is what I really identify with because like I've never taken my head out of my ass. I'm forever ostrich. You bitch. I'm excited to see where this next endeavor goes. Yeah, let's watch. I think that this is going to be really successful for Megan Markle. I can't wait to buy all of my non-medicated veterinary grooming pepper.

Pepper. I can't even say it. Preparations, preparations. Oh, by the way, I don't know how much I'm allowed to talk about, but I will keep it very broad,

but someone definitely wrote in saying they ended up like they were working on that Netflix show thing that they were supposed to do that failed. And it was a fucking shit show. The one that Harry and Megan were supposed to do? No direction. Everything you've heard about the Spotify thing. Same deal.

No actual, like, concept or, you know what I mean? Just like totally. phoned in and then just fell apart because they had no actual. It's the same reason why the blaming, the blaming Kate for photoshopping her own picture thing because it's like, you think that she manages her own social media? These people can't even show up to a scheduled interview, you know?

Like, you're telling me that they edit and post their own social media? No, they can't do anything for themselves. But she is an amateur photographer. Man, I hope it's a clips. No jokes about it, MJ. Don't I feel bad. This eclipse will hopefully turn things back around or make things worse. I'm not quite sure, but we are watching cats.

And that might have a giant effect on it as well. Join us for that on Saturday at 5.30 p.m. PST, 8.30 p.m. E.st. And wherever, I don't know, mountain time, you guys are weird. I don't know what time it is over there. But either way, you mountain people, I don't even know. Yeah, if you got, I don't know if you have a long fire place. No, because they live the most gorgeous of lives. so then they don't need the time.

They can do the bad. Check us on that on Twitch.tv. forward slash Holdenators. So that's right. I'm bringing in the plugs, I think. Is that our show? That is our show. I just started plugging the thing

and then realized it is actually indeed time for the plugs. Twitch.tv.4. Holdenatorso. Join us on that. Also every Friday, Jackie and I, we hang out for Jacket with the Holdies. But more importantly,

Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Please go over there and check out all of the many offering We have very many happy customers over there. We keep getting feedback saying they're loving A. We got weekly leftovers episodes. It's essentially more page seven. We've got, but darker talk and more hot takes.

It is darker. Juicy or talk. More hot takes. Because you have to pay for it. And then also Jackie's weekly book readings. And at the $10 layer. Every Monday, baby. Every Monday.

And at the $10 layer, something very special has been happening. We have been doing the Buffy Watch along. and we are almost into season two. Very exciting stuff coming our way and people are really loving these Buffy Watch longs and now is a good time to get in because pretty soon you can straight up binge all of season one with us

in another week or so. So check that out on there. Also, listen to what Jackie has to say. Yeah, please. And that is, come inside of my brain. Oh, come outside of my brain. over at Jackie's book club on Mondays. But also, I guess, come in and outside of my brain on Wednesdays as well.

Twitch.com. Oh, no, it's Jackie on Wednesday mornings at 8.30 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. 11.30 a.m. Eastern standard time. MJ and I kill for fun. And we are killing... Necessarily, we are killing for love. And you should come hang out with us while we play The Sims because it's really difficult to try to make those midnight.

treats so that you can turn the chickens evil so that they can kill people so that the Grim Reaper will come so that Amber can continue to romance them. Oh, it's difficult what we do on our Wednesdays. This is what Margot Robbie's next movie is going to be about, you know? So I really think that, I hope that she sets men on fire in a basement, just like we do. Finger on the pulse. M.J., what have you got to say? Oh, I'm MJ and I'm M.J. K. K. L. Kat on Instagram. I love it. You love it. Everybody, I hope you have a beautiful week. Oh, let's gird yourself for the eclipse by coming and Hank coming. I'm just talking about comments.

Maybe now I'm thinking about Jackie's book club, and all I want to do is get them tentacles primed, y'all. Yeah, there's a tentacle penis-esque thing in a soul to keep. Anyway, have a great week, everybody. We'll be back next week and we'll talk about whatever the eclipse is going to be sprinkling into our news week. Bye, everybody. Bye, everybody.

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