Page 7 - Ep. 530: We Have Risen Today, Y'all

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

This week Jackie's Jolene just wants cookies, Mr. WHITE CISHET MAN himself Holden's terrified of a specificly BUZZy set of fans and MJ's entered a new gay cowboy phase as they gush about Beyoncé's new country album 'Cowboy Carter', Jackie became the APRIL FOOL HERSELF while Holden's forcing the celebration of Men's Month, Lizzo QUIT (at least til she clarified), every company got out their silly sillies for April Fools, Holden mounts the classic Rock of Love on Hulu, Jackie would definitely drink the hot dog flavored seltzer, Sabrina Carpenter is causin'' a ruckus with her NSFW lyrical changes and can we just stop pitting everyone against each other!?, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Is Jay-z a MURDERER?!?! A list of celebrities acting like aliens, shout outs and moooooooooooore!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Basically this goes out to MJ because MJ said, do you want to start with Jolene? And I said, MJ, I can't sing Jolene the way Beyonce can sing Jolene. But I think that I can. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, it's easy. Jolene, Jolene. Just go down a register or something. Jolene, Jolene. How about that? ABC, Jaxon 5.

A, B, C, it's easiest. One, two, three. That's a fun one. Don't take them just because you can. I think Jolene's going to take your man because you sound like a bog monster. I am a bog monster. Is that you?

Yeah. You sound like you just want cookies. Is your man a bunch of cookies? Please don't take them just because you've got. My cookies, that is. And you could. You could take my cookies at any point. And MJ and Holden, I just want to say thank you

for never taking my cookies away. welcome. We would never. I'm so scared of the thought of that. You should. Because I bite. I know. No more things about cookies. I've been listening to Cowboy Carter is what I mean we're going to, you know we're going to talk about it today. We've got to talk about it. We've got to talk about it. I mean, historic drop. I, on a Friday, no less. So we were able to begin Jackin this week. Oh. Just with the Cowboy Carter love. Oh, that's fun. It's a delight. Yes. and I got to be able to like live listen to a bunch of Cowboy Carter along with chat on Friday, which was so much fun. Oh, that is fun. Yeah, I love, I love a collective experience. I talk about this all the time.

And I hope. Like our cats watch along. Like our cats watch along. Any pop culture phenomenon where everyone drops what they're doing and runs to go talk about it. And no one does this better than Beyonce. Sorry, Taylor. I feel like everyone has stuff. I will say anything because I'm scared of her fans.

Go on? No, just like in the way that, and of course, this is not representative of everyone, but I feel like when a Beyonce album drops, people who don't usually stop what they're doing and run to go talk about pop culture do do that for Beyonce, right? Like she said, like, we went over to Friends House on Friday night

and they were immediately like, what do you think about Jolene? And like, these are people I never talk about pop culture with. And they were like, I had been out with the kids all day, and they were like, you haven't heard it. Okay, sit down, listen right now. Like, we have to talk about it. And it was, I just love, my friend's group was texting about it for hours, the debating

about the Jolene new lyrics and all of this and the Blackbird cover. And I just, I just loved how pumped everyone was about it. And I think that's really, really fun. And she's so good at it. Yeah, she's good at causing that stir. And I think this especially, like, Renaissance was cool, the first one. I mean, wait, isn't it a trilogy? Wait, I'm confused.

Hold on. It's a trilogy. I thought it was the Renaissance trilogy, but it's not, right? But this is a trilogy of albums? Yes. Or am I crazy? Yes. Yeah, yeah, right?

But it's not the Renaissance trilogy. I'll have to look into this. I will dig. But yeah, I think that the Cowboy Carter especially is making like so many statements. It's so exciting. I love it. You know what I mean? Right.

I just, it's very cool. But are you just saying this because you're scared. I feel like you're scared, hold it. I feel like you're scared. I love it. I'm just so scared. I'm so scared of them. I like the way that she makes music in her house.

No, I, I, because I was a little, I'm gonna, okay, fine, I'll say something brave. I was a little borough snoroughed by Renaissance. But I think this is an exciting, interesting album. I was like, when is this man going to start saying how he really feels? Cisette, please. I want to know how he really feels. My proper title, Cis Chetman. By the way.

By the way, can I just say? I've never heard. or anybody change it from Cisette to Cichette. But I like that. Holden famous Chichette. Oh, yes. Yeah, I mean, that's my proper, yeah. But I, yeah, I was a little,

I personally was a little underwhelmed by Renaissance, and I think this is such a more interesting direction. I love making annoying country fan, like pop country fans, Big Mad. I think that's fun, especially when it has to do with racism and stuff. I think that's always a good time. You know what I mean?

Also, shout outs to Trans Day of Visibility. Happened to got Easter this year. That was awesome. Yes. They have risen. They have risen. Also, fun seeing people get their panties in a bunch about that. I know, because it's on the day of Christ.

I know. And how could you schedule both at the same time? Which is funny because Easter changes from year to year and Trans Day of Visibility doesn't. And win his man's month. It was just a co-winky day. And win is man's month. We had women's. Month. Yeah. Where is my man month? I thought you were taking April because it's the name.

It's a woman's name. Yeah. Yes. I forgot. So we're taking April. We're storming. Women's name Men's Month. We're storming the building that is April and we're taking it. I was joking about this last night. All International Women's Month has been, has just been women yelling at me about the fact that it exists. That is all it's been. It's been so funny in chat. Yeah. And they're everyone and I'm just like, all it is, can we have a fun parade or something? Like pride is like this. big, fun, colorful event and everything. And everyone's like, no, we need to yell. And I was just like, all right.

It was like, let us yell. And I was like, I get it. I get it. So I'm sorry. I just want to say I'm sorry in general, bro. That's good. That's just love keeping you scared. I just want you to be scared.

It's good for men's month to start men's month with just a blanket apology. I think that actually isn't. We're sorry. The men are truly sad. No wonder your man's month starts with. April Fool's Day. I think no wonder it is heralded by your

fool. Jackie. Your jester of sorts. Don't you? I see the look in your face holding Nick Neely. He's coming in here with his man's month

swagger. Jackie God God, God, I feel like we're introducing like all of the themes of today and like we're all over the place. I love it. April. All right, let's just introduce this really quick though. Jackie got got so hard.

Thank you so much to the many people who sent her the Hot Dog Water 7-Eleven post online. She sent it to me. I was so happy. This was the last article in the list. She's like, and by the way, I've got the just so for me. This is like a me story. That is not what he said.

I said, thank you to Marie because Marie was one of the people who sent in this article. I don't blame you, Marie. You know what, Marie, I'm going to say it. At first I did blame you. I was like, Marie, set this up because you knew I was going to fail. But Marie, I don't. I don't blame you.

And what the beauty of the article was, you sent it before the update. And so when I clicked it at the very top, it says, update April Fool. So I know you didn't see that. And I got, it was just perfect. It was like poetry. It was so funny. So I love that I got to write back being like, you got God, God, kids. You stupid Eddie.

I hate April. Jackie was very upset. I hate it. Very upset. I hate it. It was so funny. Yeah, that vein in her forehead's bulge and I love it. Honestly, Henry and I both have the same side head vein that we get when we start screaming.

We get the same vein. And it kind of looks like we're about to have an aneurism. But like in a cute way, you know? You know what I think? Like a steam engine kind of way. I always thought it's sexy when people have like big throbbing vans in their forearms. I don't know why. I think it's because I associate it with like guitar players.

Are you going to say Cox? Cox, too. Oh. It's a little cock like, too. Artists. Cox. Yes. Could it be Cox.

I mean a little bit. Could be visual art. Could be music. But I like a rainy arm is what I'm saying. So we can't. All right, we'll get back to April Fools. I feel like we got to continue to talk more about Beyonce's new album. Yes.

we get the DMs. You're just living in a little Fears House, like a little scared mouse. What if I like Fears House? What if Fears House has some nice furniture and just a cozy fireplace in the fire? It's cozy in Fears House. I'm not leaving and I'm scared of you people.

Beyonce, Beyonce. I mean, MJ and I are actively romancing the Grim Reaper every Wednesday, so you're talking to the wrong ones. We love to court death. on The Sims. But, you know, I think that Holden is scared of the beehive because there was times where the beehive was very online.

And if you criticize Beyonce, you might get yelled at on Twitter. But listen, Twitter is a shell of itself now. I should honestly cut the narrative because I've even been saying lately. And again, another compliment for the beehive. I've been saying a lot lately. I think that's changed a lot over the recent years. It has. I think her role in pop culture has changed a lot too.

Yes. Like she's changed. Yeah. She is a discourse maker, like she always has been. And I agree with, I think that a lot of people might agree with you about Renaissance being a little bit Boro because it was just like, well, this is like a cool dance album, but there wasn't like. I'm also not a club guy.

I'm just not a club guy. Like, so I think it spoke to a certain era of music that I'm just not, I'm not a big vogue. But you know what I mean? I think there was a time. I think when we go back to like the Sasha Fierce days, there was an also, which, thinking about the various rewinds we've done, talking about the evolution of the internet from 2008 to 2012,

2013, that time for Beyonce was also the time that like everything got, every pop culture thing got thousands of essays written about it. And, you know, sometimes they were really amazing and interesting and sometimes they were annoying and there was like a lot of, and then Twitter

people would fight about it. And so I feel like there was like so much, Beyonce was this like, I mean, she still is obviously a massive icon, but I feel like there was a time where like Beyonce discourse just like drove the internet. And you would, if you said something negative about her, that was, you know, interpreted it a certain way or whatever. And I feel like now it's like we're like, it's like this is like post Beyonce Beyonce in a way almost where it's like it's still Beyonce. She's still this discourse maker.

She's still like the queen. She still is like this incredible artist. And also, I don't know. I just feel like Cowboy Carter's a little bit different. There's like a bunch of different points of view on it. There's like a lot of really interesting discourse happening around the her with the American flag and the race stuff, not only coming from racists on the countryside, but also coming from other perspectives about, you know, her like claiming the American flag. And there's just all this fascinating stuff. But I feel like what I guess what I'm trying to say is all points of view seem a little bit welcome in terms of talking about this album. But of course, what do I know? I am just a person alone in the house. So I don't really know what. ghost in your house, yeah.

There's a ghost in my house and it's me. You could sleep. But I couldn't sleep. I can't sleep. It's a great album. I think it's interesting to talk about. But it's man, it's a great album.

I am not sleeping. And I do love my favorite thing I was telling them before the show star, I was like my one thing about with Jolid, because it's very, it's controversial. She changed the lyrics. If you don't know,

she changed some lyrics. She kind of, it was kind of more of like a fuck you, Becky, with the good hair kind of turn to it, twist to it. less defeated, more of a power stance. But my favorite part of the discourse is just the people responding, girl, you can keep them about Jay-Z.

I thought that was absolutely hilarious, very, very funny. And I don't know, I feel a little, I definitely think it's like a good, it's an interesting topic of discussion. I think you could definitely have varying opinions on it in a, man, could I sound more political right now? So vote for me in November, because I'm really, I agree with everybody right now. About everything.

I mean, I saw two different. Taxes, I agree with everybody on taxes. I saw two different opinion columns in the Washington Post on opposite side about this album. You know, like what is it, you know, is it, you know, I don't really particularly want to get into all of the discourse around Cowboy Carter because I feel like we have our own very limited perspective. We are three white people. Yes.

I don't think that I feel comfortable coming in here and talking about all the race politics of it. White Cichette, please. White Cichette. Go on. Shachette really just yucks my mouth out. I'm Scottish. If people don't know what we're talking about, he's saying cis-hete, like cisgender heterosexual, but Holden has updated it to Chichette, which I think is.

Because of the Scottish. I'm also Scottish. It's implied in that. Oh, okay. Well, I'm Scotch Irish, but yeah, yeah. The Jolene thing alone is such a good example of how good Beyonce is at making interesting conversation, I think, because we have now gone through this. I love the role of Jolene in our society right now, right? I feel like Miley sang Jolene with Dali Parton, like, live on stage and then also did like a video of it.

And that was years ago now. And it was like, I feel like it like catapulted Jolene back into our collective consciousness, right? And then I remember Lulma's X did a cover of Jolene. And then that had everyone in a tizzy. because it was gay. And now we've got her cover of Jolene, right, which Dali. Dali is the reason, I mean, I suggested it.

It suggested that Beyonce did it in the first place. Yeah, it makes me like it more that she was her suggestion to even change the lyrics and stuff like that. And that actually made it more a stronger outing for me. That also helped me because my first reaction listening to Jolene was like, My first reaction was just like the thrill of hearing this person's voice who I love sing this song that I love. That was definitely my first reaction. This is a fucking awesome song and she has a fucking awesome voice and she can sing the shit out of it and I love it.

And then I listened again and listen to more closely and kind of engaged with some of the criticisms that I've seen. And I think that one of the big, you know, salient takeaways for me was the song is really desperate, right? As Dolly sings it, it's really sad and really, it's painful. It's like, I'm begging you. Please don't take my man. And the Beyonce version, because she's Beyonce, and a lot of what she does is, like, exude confidence. She's a tegris. See, I kind of love the teegress energy of this.

Yeah, right. So, yeah, so you're into it. I'm a little bit, I'm still deciding. But I think it changes the meaning of the song to sing it from a confident, to be confident about it. Right? But basically what Beyonce is saying in her version is like, you could never because I'm the queen

and what the song's original thrust is is please don't take my man like she's insecure she's scared it's going to happen but Beyonce she's not scared on Wizard and the Bruiser we find all those crazy little moments in geek history that made

the things we love into inescapable cultural behemots if you love video games movies comics and anime this is the LPN show for you but wait Holden, it's not just educational. Shouldn't we talk about all those crazy boner jokes we make all the time?

No, Jake. No, we will not. Fair enough. Last Podcast Network presents Wizard and the Bruiser. Find it on your favorite podcast app and hit that little subby-dubby button. Ooh, we would love it if you did that. Oh, that would help us out so much. God, wouldn't you love to do that?

Don't I sound like the kind of person you want to help? Like, hit the button. Like, just do it. Which is why I see them as two, I think it's two separate sides. of the same coin because like if you listen to it as well it's just like it is such a structurally different song than the original as well and I think that like it is two very different women in the same situation so I kind of like the other side of the coin okay interesting so it's like what if we're talking about the same thing but two different women's like kind of base emotional

reactions to it right because also sometimes you know that like that teagris and can sometimes come from a place of, you know, self-doubt. Right, right. And it is masked in those feelings. So it also, I feel like could be like just how they're dealing with the situation. And Lemonade was very good at that. Lemonade wasn't just like, I'm awesome. It was also like I contained multitudes and I have all this depth and insecurity too.

But also maybe just because I am sexually attracted to Beyonce's voice, Angelene, as I was just saying it, I was like, maybe I'm just, oh no, maybe. I'm just, it's just a sexy thing to me, the tegris energy that she's bringing into it. Maybe that's why I like it so much. Yeah. Well, you know, sometimes you got a verbally process. And I support and agree with both women. Happy International Women's Month.

And if you want to cast your vote for me, for custodian of the parks in November, I would greatly appreciate it. He's really good at mopping up leaves. I know that we are, like, part of the reason that Dolly wanted to. work with Beyonce. You know, remember when she did, I will always love you and then Whitney Houston sang it because we all know that that was Dolly's

original song. So she essentially was just like, you know, Whitney brought Whitney to it. Beyonce, I want you to bring Beyonce to it. And I think that that's exactly what she did. And I really dug it, but I understand that some people are upset about it. Some people might be upset and

these people I don't want to talk to about another collab that's coming in a couple of days, which is Orville Peck and Willie Nelson are dropping a song called Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other. What? Wait, wait, was this in the articles? No, no, no, no.

I just remembered that I saw it on Instagram because I went to immediately go look for the song and then I think it set out like April 5th and I, which is this week. I love this. April Fool's. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah. Is it April Fool's though? Wasn't April Fool's though?

Oh, no, I better not be. Oh my God. If it's an April Fool, I'm going to die. No, it better not be. It better not be. No, they would never. No, it's not. No, it's not.

Nice. This is so cool. We're getting black country. We're getting queer country, all of which, of course, country has been, queer country has been black, but it's cool to, like, and that was actually how Jackie told me about Orville Peck after the Lil Nas X cover of Jolene, because I was like, I love queer country, speaking of which I'm seeing the men. I had a field this week, and I'm very excited.

And so I was like... Awesome. He's doing 69 love songs over two nights. So my friend was like, you have to come Wednesday and Saturday. I was like, I'm a parent. I can't come two nights. And he was like, one is the first half of 69 love songs. One is the other half of 69 love songs.

So it's very exciting. But then, yeah. That's awesome, MJ. I know. I'm so psyched. But that was when you told me about Orville Peck. You were like, if you love queer country, have you heard of Orville Peck? and my Spotify wrapped has never been the same since.

God, I love Warville Tech so much. That's so awesome, man. That's, that's, I just love the name of the song. It's so funny, dude. I love it. And I love that Willie Nelson is like, yeah, I'll sing that. Of course, you know. But can we not talk about, I forgot, I'll bury the lead here.

I just want to let you guys know, just in general, I quit. I quit. I quit. He quit. He quit. just like old manor Lizzo. Lizzo has quit the music industry and immediately everyone

she's already still, she's still posting like giddy stuff. Yeah, she posted another like, what do you call it? She did an advertisement for something literally like the day after and everyone was just like, it was funny though because you have to acknowledge though it's funny. I get it. She had, she already made these deals. If she quit

all of a sudden she still has to fulfill some obligations. For everyone that doesn't know on Friday, Lizzo posted an Instagram post that was a word post that said I'm getting tired of putting up with being dragged by everyone in my life and on the internet. All I want is to make music and make people happy and help the world be a little better than how I found it. But I'm starting to feel like the world doesn't want me in it. I'm constantly up against lies being told about me.

for clout and views being the butt of the joke every single time because of how I look. My character being picked apart by people who don't know me and disrespecting my name. I didn't sign up for this shit. I quit. Man. Posted that and of course there's lots of people

in the industry that are coming out being like, Lizzo don't say. Yeah, that's certainly what you do. What you want to happen if you make a big post like that is you want people to be like, Lizzo don't. You don't want people to be like the next day when you have an ad posted, don't want people to be like, I thought you quit.

Thought you quit. Which is, thought you fucking quit. What's happening? Well, everyone just sees so many people, at least. I am annoyed already by the amount of people who are saying, no, don't leave us, Lizzo. We love you, Lizzo. But because it is just such a clear, extreme narcissist reaction to the actual confrontation of, you know, the concept that you maybe aren't a perfect person who shit doesn't stink,

who, you know, maybe what you're putting out there, isn't it? And I screamed about this. much on Friday, so I'll keep it brief here, uh, uh, because it's like, I don't want to like be so, uh, all over the place with this, but she, like, she could just embrace the new way. She could just, I feel like if she just said, yeah, I, like I said, I just want her new album to be called bitch. Bad girl. And it just be, I'm just be like, maybe I'm suck, or whatever. Or like, just embrace it or like, have a bad girl era or something. But to, I was so blown away, but she, like, didn't really acknowledge it.

I mean, she did that one post saying, you know, these are all lies or whatever, and then just went right back to being a, like, positivity influencer. Right. I think that it's hard. She has not dealt. It was so disingenuous. It's like Ellen. It's the same shit where it's like you can't not put on this fake veneer.

You know what I mean? And I don't know for sure. Maybe she really is genuinely amazing. and all of these people are lying. They just keep trying to get, Lizzo keeps trying to get these lawsuits thrown out. Uh-huh. And it just what it seems like,

because I have looked into this to make sure that, like, that that is what is happening, is that there's just so much evidence about the sexual harassment, about the religious and racial discrimination, about the weight shaming, that the lawsuits are continuing. And it really, like, I,

I, I, I enjoyed her so much, and I think that's why I am weird hurt about it, where I'm like, man, I thought that, like, it doesn't mean that you're not very talented. It doesn't mean that you just, you didn't work your ass off. It's just like, you, you inspired so many people. And it, it sucks. That's, yeah. It kind of just hurts my heart.

And it makes me feel like I'm, like a puppy. Like, you're just like, come on, man. And if she, and I would, I would support her in two seconds if she owned up to, anything and even, dude, I would even be day one I would buy a copy of bitch on vinyl. Like, especially if she fully leaned into it, it was just like, yeah, I'm, I can be a monster or whatever or just it all. Also, again, I will say all of it is allegations. It's all allegations.

And it's all allegation. And it's hard. I know I shouldn't, it's allegation. And I get, it is hard to navigate something like this. Like, right, we, of course, I think that on our show, when we talk about allegations, we try to tend towards the, you know, believe accusers, because there's all these. reasons why people don't falsely accuse or whatever, but and also you want to have these conversations not damning anyone upon the allegations, right? So I feel like that's a line that

we have been trying to walk. And I do sympathize with Lizzo that this type of allegation is very hard to navigate. It seems very stressful, would be very difficult. It's, it maybe would be harder than just being like, yeah, I'm a bitch and then and then making the bitch album because it's not just that she's a bitch, right? There's like all these specific allegations of harassment. deeper. But I get your point holding too where it's just like she has not figured out. I don't know if there is a way to figure out how to navigate something like this and have it not. Screw up your career. What most people, like when a lot of men get accusations about how they treated people badly, they kind of just like keep on going. And then sometimes they like pivot hard to the right or whatever, right? And then they act like they're persecuted or whatever.

And that becomes their whole brand is like, I got canceled and now I'm the canceled person. do understand, like, Lizzo keep on trucking, you know, like in that beginning portion. There's not a lot you can do. You got to just keep going. Like, I completely understand that as like things come in because celebrities get shit thrown at them all the time. Right, right, right. But for it to still be like compounding and more people and just, right, at least doesn't

look. It doesn't look. And the I quit thing is just seems, just reads like narcissistic temper tantrum. It just absolutely does. It just is the, the absolute flailing of a person. who cannot handle their narrative that they've worked so hard to curate being flipped on them

because maybe they're not actually that person. Because it would be very jarring to go from like, beloved, you know, Lizzo was really up on a pedestal for, I think for many good reasons, but then also even before all these allegations came out, I feel like there was kind of that when her second album came out, people were kind of like,

huh, like, is this, is she not maybe quite the powerhouse that we all, thought she kind of a bit of a one trick pony here in terms of the confidence stuff. A little bit. Yeah. The album felt very like, okay, we, yeah, I agree with that. And I think that this is like further proof of that suspicion, right? She wants to be this kind of like positivity icon, but that if you're not able to flesh

yourself out more, then, right, if that's the brand that gets punctured, then you kind of get left deflated and not knowing where to land, right? Based on the stuff out there personally from what I've seen, and I'm sure there could be more to it and I would feel. But based on the stuff that's out there, I do feel like it's possible for her to just, like, say this is a wake up call and mean it and, like, follow through with that. Right. And, like, really change the way that she is towards her dancers and stuff like that. And I totally understand if you disagree with that statement on a listener or whoever. But it's one of those situations, too, where I've just looked at.

at this and I'm like, dude, just fucking anything, anything. But again, right now too, maybe it's, maybe it's the lawyers. All the law. Right. Yeah. It's all the law. I'm sure she can't do it. Yeah, you can't, you can't acknowledge. You can't do the restorative justice thing of like, because the restorative justice move would be like, I acknowledge that harm was done

and I never meant to harm anyone and I'm going to make sure that this never happens again. But right, there might be lawyers being like, you can't admit anything, you know, so that's tough. those lawyers would also have been like, you should definitely put this I quit post up. Like, I'm sure her team is like flipping the fuck out over this. You know what I mean? This is not good. This is not smart.

It's not good. Yeah. And we all, it is a sad fall. It's a sad fall from grace. I mean, I was just thinking this morning when I was reading these articles about like the first time I saw her like playing flute and, you know, dancing on stage.

I was like, holy shit, yes, this is the pop star that we deserve, you know. And it is sad to see. that be reduced to bananas up, the pussy jokes, but here we are. Just us. Just us making those jokes? I mean, yeah, that is, at least that has brought joy to my life, those jokes. And I will say that as well. So thank you for that.

You know, we thank you, Lizzo, for giving us that, you know. I still have my 100% that bitch fanny pack, you know. You got to, it doesn't take away the fact that that first, couple of albums, like they were great. Totally. They were great albums. She, she did a good job. Totally. She's a talent. She's a very talented person. And she, in many ways, was absolutely the pop star we needed at the time. I think a lot of the stuff she did was fantastic in the body positivity stuff and all of that.

But, you know, one of the interesting things about Beyonce as an artist is that she's constantly growing and changing and reinventing herself. Yes. And, you know, and I... Confronting some hard truths through her music. Yes. We're talking... We're like mourning Lizzo, but I, it's still saying, she could turn this around, but this is not the way.

Why? Was it in April fools? Is all of this? I did go and look and make sure that I quit wasn't in April fools because I was like, I have to make sure because if I have gotten gotten twice in one weekend, especially April fools on the Monday, we're really going to do this. Especially hot dogs. Everyone's bleary-eyed. Yeah. Day after Spring's giving.

Everyone's bleary because you were hosting Springsgiving and you've turned it into a festival of day drinking, Jackie. It was a bit of a festival of day drinking, but also my stomach hurt as well because I ate candy all day, MJ. So you're not the only one. It was a lovely time, by the way. Yes, I really enjoyed your Springsgiving pictures. It looked like it. I love to take the Christ out of Easter. I think that's great.

Take it right out. I say keep them in the cave. That's what I said. I said, nail it. And said, we have risen today, y'all. But I'm talking about April fools, talking about, oh, man, every year the companies have to put out their April fools. Oh, aren't they the silliest of them? All right.

Real quick, though. It was a pretty, like, low-key one. You just happened to get fooled by one of the, like, four of these that I saw. I did not see any. I'm angry. The problem is, Jay. You're acting like it was like people were running around down the street like on fire. You're like, God, help me.

April balls I get. Like it was a normal. I rarely was affected by it at all. Oh, no, you don't understand. You don't follow as many snack Instagram profiles as I do. It's the food companies that you follow. And also everybody sends them to Jack. Everyone sends me the crock memes.

Uh-huh. Thank you. Keep on going. I'll laugh every time. as my inbox full of crock memes. And yes, I've seen the one with the toadale jibbets, but keep sending them. And everyone sends the hot dog memes to Jackie.

I love it. So I'm guessing that Jackie's inbox was quite, even my own inbox was blown up with the hot dog seltzer because people were like, you've got to show this to Jackie. And I was like, gladly, Jackie will love this. And so I think that it's unique to Jackie because it's part of her brand, Holden, as the hot dog ambassador to the southwest portion.

East, Southeast portion of the United States, right? Southwest. Southwest. Never eat sour wheat. West, my bad. Yes. I feel like personally attacked because I am the ambassador of the Southwest region of the United States. No one ran this by you.

You should have been warned that this was going to happen. I should have been contacted. Yeah, there should have been a memo. Honestly, like smoke in the sky. Like something to like let us know there should have been a communal. We should have gotten together all of the ambassadors. ambassadors and we should discuss this before you just willy-nilly choose whatever you're oh ha ha ha ha ha we put a hot dog in a water yeah with your with your fools laughter yeah and your man's month yeah hold in yeah so but then on my

snack sites oh wouldn't it be so delightful to have all of these delicious looking things you don't get any of them. All of them are AI generated. That's what they do. They bring in their AI generated snacks and they lie to us. And now April Fool's Aw is just an excuse for the companies to just shroud us in their lies. Right. Get it out. Let it out. I'll tell you what. Can you just, here's the doll, Jackie, can you please just take it out on the doll and we'll get this. Oh my God. Why is the doll bleeding? How's the doll bleeding? I'm making real. I'm making reels so I can make it dead.

Stop. It's already dead. Oh man, you got got so hard, you idiot. Yeah, well, I bet Holden got got because scotch tape released a scotch. And it's real, Holden. So you should go buy it. Well, I did get caught. Actually, my Twitch chat convinced me that vagina was shown on screen during the Rock

of Love finale episode for season two. I did accidentally show tits once or twice because they don't sense a rock of love on Hulu, by the way, free tits over there on Hulu. Good. Just a heads up. Wow. So that happens a little bit here and there because, man, do Brett Michaels, amorous, you know, suitors, suities, man, do they like to show him their breasts? Wow. I mean, how else do you say it's like a resume?

Yeah, it's like a mating call. I mean, he is a very horny man. It's all he cares about. Literally the woman who won, and this is why I thought vagina was shown, the woman who won, I think solely won because she didn't wear panties on the final date. And he couldn't get over it. Did she like whisper that in his ear or something? Oh, no, no, no.

She kept showing him. She kept doing the like leg cross thing and he was just staring at her vagina. And I'm like, what is this? What? What is this TV show? Anyways, so that's a whole thing. Man, you know, I've never tried that move before, shockingly. I can't imagine.

I'd have to, like, move my legs so far apart to, like, peel my thighs away from each other. You're like, oh. I was just like, cranked out. Like, do you see it? Do you see it? I'm going to close my legs now. I mean, I think, I understand Jackie's frustration

about the hot dog water because just like April Fool's his stupid fucking tagline is like, you idiot, you believe me, we have been sold many. a hot dog water item in real life, like the Doritos alcohol. You know, so if the Doritos alcohol is real, and I know it's real, I've seen people drink it. Yes. So if the Doritos alcohol is real, then of course the hot dog water could be real. So the fact that we all believe it's real, we're not the assholes, you're the assholes. I have hamdy canes right over yonder.

Totally. Totally. You would like to try them. And to be fair, they did actually make some, a limited supply of the canned hot dog water as well. Yeah, it was. It was real. We saw it. It was in someone's hands. It was real. And would you drink it if you could get your hands on a can, Jackie? You know, I don't think that I would because, you know, you got to keep it in case it's worth something someday. So I'd have to keep it on my shelf just in case I'm going to package that and my princess die bear someday. And I think I could get a cool 18 bucks for the two. This is a dodge. I got three cans and I give you three cans. Will you drink one of them. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'll try it out. Will you drink it with alcohol or

plane? Oh, yeah. I mean, I hope you would let me put vodka in it. Oh, I'll put the Doritos vodka. Oh, that's so much gross. Yeah, the Doritos vodka in the hot dot dog shelter. Yes. Gross. It makes me think, I'm sure I've talked about this on page seven years ago when Henry received the salmon vodka. Henry had salmon vodka and this is when I was living with him and I would drink absolutely every. booze that he had in his home at all times because I was a goblin that just like supped off of his existence and I got down to the salmon vodka and I was like well what am I going to do with this so I just was chain smoking cigarettes upstairs just shooting salmon vodka

and I came downstairs and I walked past Henry and I burped and he was just like oh what is wrong with you and I was like oh I'm shooting salmon and vodka's like, those are supposed to be for like bloody mary. They're not supposed to be for you to just shoot. And, you know, sometimes, man, a vodka's, a vodka's a vodka. You do a shot. And that was back when I was an alcoholic. You do a shot and then you chase it with a bite of bagel and cream cheese.

Yeah. Or clamato, I guess. Clamato is what you definitely do with. Pour a shot of it onto the bagel and consume. On to the bagel. Oh, it's so nasty, dude. Dip it like a biscotti, like the biscotti in the coffee. You dip, yeah, you dip the chunky, the locks in it, you know.

That's worse for some reason. Double salmon. Come on, guys. Salmon two ways, we call that. Yeah, that is what we call it here on page seven, everybody. It's the ye old salmon two ways, everybody. Oh, well, I'm glad that we have all survived April Fool's. And only one of us has been made a fool.

And it was Jackie. Yeah. And it was Jackie. And it was me. I became the fool. Ponce this day. And we certainly know that it wasn't Sabrina Carpenter. And can we just give a shout out to Sabrina Carpenter? Yeah. And just everything that Sabrina Carpenter has been being and is doing. Yes. Whatever they do with Barry Keogan and, you know, I just say, wow. But this is the head, this is a

BuzzFeed news story. And the headline is Sabrina Carpenter has hit back at speculation that she is quote unquote obnoxiously horny. And she explained the deeper meaning behind her NSFW, not safe work nonsense outros. And so the whole article is about how she's like so dirty and so explicit. And I, maybe because Beyonce was fresh in my head, I'm like reading this and I'm like, are these lyrics that much more explicit than pop lyrics have always been? I mean, has anyone ever heard ego before? It's like very, like it's suggestive, but it's pretty clear what she's talking about. Like, what are we doing here? Why are we acting like no one has ever talked about sex in a pop song before? Puritanical. Yeah, it's very dumb that she has to be like, I'm

having fun, you weirdos. Yeah, this is your job. It's fine. So weird. And she, yeah, she's a pop star. Since when do we have to censor our pop stars? And I do wonder if it is because, so for those of you that don't know, Sabrina Carpenter, young pop star, Sabrina Carpenter was like the opposite end of the

Olivia Rodrigo world when Olivia Rodriguez first dropped her first album. And like, it was kind of barbs towards a person and it was towards Sabrina Carpenter. and so she's been up and coming in this world, but she's also been opening for Taylor Swift, where at least she did in the South American tour, I believe. So a lot of people are like, because Taylor Swift is suitable for work and is not like Sabrina Carpenter is a very sexy pop star

in a way that Taylor Swift does not come off. Yeah. Taylor Swift is much more wholesome. than Sabrina Carpenter is. Taylor, so songs are about love, not fucking. Yes, and writing D's and bobbing up on it. Slug and logs and all that, yeah. Yes. Swallowing. Yes.

I mean, it's just all the examples in this article were like, you know, oral sex. And it's like, as if there's never been a song about oral sex before, you know? Tell him not to listen to fucking slut pop Miami. Kim Petrus. That's what I'm talking about. That's all I can think about it was like,

what about Kim Petrus? Gag on it. There's a song called Gag on it. And the song opens up with, but again, even more mainstream. Like, I'm not even thinking of like, baby, I like it raw, but the one that first top popped into my head was ego because it was like, all, it has beautiful piano

and it was played on the radio constantly. And then you listen to it closely and you're like, ah, ego is a euphemism, right? And so like, but like, and obviously like, what about gasms? So, yeah, gasms. Gasms. And all, many Kanye songs, even back when I was listening

like, you know, before Kanye got weird, tons of songs about slob getting slobed on. And so I was like, why are we being so weird about Suprina Garpenter? But I guess it makes sense that if she is kind of seen in relation to Taylor Swift and also to Olivia Rodriguez, who's also not singing about sex, but is singing about love, then that's why she's like,

look at this slut who loves to slob on knobs. But why do we have to compare that? Yeah, exactly. And one of her biggest songs right now is about a one-night stand. You know, Olivia Rodriguez. Right. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah.

Right. Completely. Yeah. I fell into his bed. Yeah, Tripton fell into his bed. Yeah. But Sabrina Carpenter, how dare she? She's such, oh, and like, I feel like they're doing, like,

it's so interesting now that we can look back at what we used to talk about, like with the monoculture and everything like that in our page seven rewinds. And watching her where it's like, now we can see what you're doing media. Stop pitting them against each other. Yeah. There's no reason to. And painting it as like a good girl and a bad girl. Yes.

Totally. And I think that this also has happened in pop for ever, where it's like, well, this is the one who's like the good girl and this is the one who's whatever. But yeah, it's just interesting to. And we've talked also about how like sometimes Gen Z has these more anti-explicit, you know, like, Gen Z doesn't like sex scenes or whatever. but then we heard we got all these fantastic, interesting letters from people when we talked about that. And one of them was like, Gen Z grew up online in like the least regulated way possible. Yeah. So like a lot of Gen Z has really negative associations with sex from basically, you know, having been violated online in those ways.

And, yeah, two girls, one-cup. Or just getting dickmicks, you know, like getting sent dick, getting your first phone when you're 11, you know, whereas we didn't get smartphones. I didn't get a smartphone until I was like 24. I think it's more tub-girl and the mid-party. Tubgirl hold it. I think you're aging yourself holding. I don't think that's the problem with the youths holding. They're all looking at that.

Tub girls are a distinctly millennial phenomenon. It's not cyberbullying, MJ. It's Lemon Party. That's the issue. Well, we've talked about Ginzy. Let's talk about Jay-Z. It's time for the celebrity conspiracy. Hit me with the share.

Do you believe it? Is Jay-Z a murderer? Wow. Oh, my God. But you're not talking about me. Can we please? distinguish between the two. Yes, sorry, not Jackie Z, Jay-Z, and allegedly, obviously, this is called celebrity conspiracy,

so this is alleged. Alage. Did Jay-Z allegedly kill his mistress to appease Beyonce's rap? We all remember Beyonce's iconic eliminated, how it's all about how her slubby headphones slinging husband cheated on her. Like many, I always assume Beyonce used all of the many accolades awards and the millions of dollars she got for making that album. to console herself and ultimately forgive Jay-Z.

But did Beyonce perhaps require a darker form of atonement? By the way, this came in from Casey. Here is a timeline. April 4th, 2008, the power couple officially joined forces by getting legally wed. Cut to 2010. Speculation begins that Jay-Z has broken his sacred vows. The name of the alleged affair partner, who I will refer to as Lady Z, comes out after her.

JZ and P. Diddy, more on this later, are spotted at a nightclub in L.A. Almost a year later, it's speculated that Lady Z is ready to go public with the affairs and is in talks with a reporter to out JZ as the dirty doggy is. August 28, 2011, Beyonce announces her impregnation with the fetus who will one day become Blue Ivy Carter at the VMAs. Less than a week later, Lady Z is found dead in her New York apartment, reportedly due to an aneurysm. It is also rumored that Lady Z was carrying Jay Z's baby. Perhaps Beyonce demanded there could be only one.

However, all of this is quickly hushed up and the seemingly happy family move on with their lives. Until today, when P. Diddy is exposed along with his band of sex criminals, and he decides to take as many of his famous co-conspirators as he can down with him. Cue the speculation resurfacing the J.C. sacrifices mistress to remain in Beyonce's good graces. Word on sourceless internet blogs is that her body will be exhumed. And the autopsy and toxicology will be redone due to the suspicious. nature of her death, do you believe? Also, bonus conspiracy, is all of this also somehow connected to Jayce's baby farm? But who can say?

Back to the baby farm, man. But probably. I thought it was a uterus farm. Yeah, well, I mean, it was a uterous farm for babies. Yes. Wow. Casey, thank you. What a dark and disturbing one.

What do you guys think? I mean, yeah, obviously. It's pretty great. Yeah, I think it's a yeah from me. You know, I also noticed that Beyonce- Wow, you guys both think. Yeah, we both think Jayes is allegedly a straight-up murder. Because she sings so much about how good their marriage is, you know.

I don't know if you heard it on the album. Like, I don't know if you heard it holding. She's like, yeah, she'll beat your ass. I mean, drunken love, I loved that song when it came out. And now I'm like, we get it, Beyonce, you love him. You love him, you'll even let him kill for you. Oh, ho-ho, allegedly. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Wild stuff. Do you think Lizzo had a part to play? No. Okay. Just throwing it out there, allegedly. I think she's probably going through enough right now.

I would hope that she doesn't. Man, if she got wrapped up in another controversy while all this stuff is going on, that's a bad year. I'd feel really bad for her. I'd feel very, very bad for her. All right. Well, there you go. Thank you so much, Casey. There's just celebrity conspirer.

Thanks, Casey. It's time for the list. Oh! Who's on the list? Checky, got to have that list. Celebrities who need to figure out how to be normal before it's too late. Like Billy Bob Thornton, who carefully avoids antique furniture, he has a weird phobia of furniture that was made before the 1950s.

I could see it. Is he afraid of lead poisoning or something? Like, is there like a concrete reason here? I would hope maybe it's like a, like, it's a ghost thing. Maybe. Probably a ghost thing. Oh, boy. I love looking at Billy Baddell.

But I do wonder. Really? Yeah. You know, it's interesting for, I wasn't saying, yeah, because I agree with you, MJ. This is one of the ones that we don't necessarily agree on. But even though you love Bad Santa. You love Bad Santa. I don't know why.

I love Bad Santa, but I'm so turned off by that red carpet footage where they're like, we just fucked in the limo. I'm like, I hate it so much. I'm not attracted to his personality. This is why I always forget why I'm attracted to him. I look at his face. And I hear his voice, his whole energy. Yes, maybe that counts his personality.

I don't know. Anyway, I want to fuck him. Yeah, there's also this interview he does where, like, this radio guy is doing an interview with him and his band, and he introduces him as like Billy Bob Thornton, who's been in a bunch of movies and also is in this band. Let's talk about the band. And the Billy Bob tanks the interview because he's like,

you said you weren't going to mention my movies. you said you weren't going to mention it. And he was like, he's like being all weird to him. And he's like, why are you being so fucking awful in this interview? And he's like, you said you wouldn't mention my movie. He's like, okay, I said I was going to ask you any questions about your movies. But the idea that I can't even introduce the concept that you're a gigantic movie star going into this interview is fucking insane. It's so crazy.

Ridiculous. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But anyways, I could get one to, I could see wanting to fuck him though and suck him and all and lick his asshole and all that kind of stuff. All of that. All of that. Well, I mean, we would hope none of this stuff was going. Man, this always confused me.

Meg and Jack White said they were siblings. Then the news found their marriage certificate. I remember being so confused because I remember reading in, and this was back in the day when you had to read about it in the magazines. And I remember being so excited because they were. brother and sister and being young and being like, oh, cool, a brother and sister duo that got famous together, that's really fun. I would love to be that.

But no, they weren't siblings. They were actually married. Jack later explained he thought when band members are relatives instead of lovers, fans, quote, care more about the music, not the relationship. Ah, yeah, okay. He was just paranoid that people would be too focused. Yeah, okay, I could see that. that too into it or would shape the music too much

that they're together. Yeah. Especially if they were to break up, which they did, right? Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, that's fair. I also do think that it kind of got them more goodwill

than maybe they otherwise would have because it's so rare to have brothers and sisters who work together and it's like, I think people are drawn to it because they, you know, as somebody who worked with my sibling, a lot of people like to, they see siblings work together and then they reflect on their own sibling relationships and there is, like there's just a people are drawn to it. And so I always thought that it, I was like, oh, that makes them like more interesting.

So I do think it's a bit of a half. Yeah. And you inspired me, damn it. And now my inspiration is all gone. How dare you from many, many years ago. And how dare Lindsay Lohan do community service and also handle Whitney Houston's body bag? Or so she claimed. What? calling it an annoying chore criminals shouldn't have to do. No one in the probation program came near Houston, who was never even in a, quote, body bag. But apparently Lindsay Lohan claimed to have handled Whitney Houston's body bag.

Yeah, I mean, they definitely shouldn't have, they shouldn't make people doing community service handle body bags, but it sounds like maybe they don't. So everything's fine? Yeah, or maybe she was just handling body bags, which shouldn't be doing. But maybe not with a hussons per se, but still very upsetting.

Very strange thing to lie about as well. Yes. She did lie about it. But, you know, knowing what we know about child actors, I'm not going to be mad at her about it. I was about it. Also, it kind of sounds like she was at that point in the throes of a deeply dark drug addiction,

I would say. Possibly struggling in multiple ways. We've been having a hard time. Yeah. Well, Keshah also. was struggling. Now, we know that she has had sex with ghosts. But Kesha believes not only that she has experimented sexually with a ghost, but that she later had to have her vagina exercised. Which, that portion of it, I don't know if I remember that portion of the fact that I don't remember that. I don't know if that

means that you had sex so hard on the ghost that it stuck around. Sounds like maybe something else was going on with her vaginal health and she could have attributed it to ghosts. It's good. Oh, I'll go. I think it's a yeast infection. Yeah, exactly. Jack, I will throw this out there, even though I don't see any evidence that it is one. This article definitely came out on March 31st, 2024. Just want to throw it out there for the Jackie.

You're suggesting it's a big romp of pranks? All of these are pranks? No. No, I would, honestly, a lot of these I've seen on list before. I quickly scrolled to the bottom just to see. I was about to flip out if it just. said April fools in giant letters, but it did not. It did not.

That's just so weird because I feel like... Think I'd have a mental break. We did a whole episode of Keshe and I don't remember anything about her pussy getting exercise. So I just, you know, I'm just, I had to check. Maybe it needed to go on a walk. Come on. Come on. Megan Fox believes in lepricons.

I mean, these are absurd. Fox has said that she believes in the little green Irish dudes, but not the pot of gold. because that would be ridiculous. What? Now I think it is an April Fool's joke. What is happening? No, I bet that Lady Gaga does fear that someone might steal her creativity with sex.

And that was the reason that Lady Gaga shared that she was celibate in 2010. She said, I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone, they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina. What? I still think it's fake.

I don't know. I don't buy this list for a second. We started the list because back when we started the show, the internet was all lists. It was like just listical town. And since then, there has been less and less lists, which is why we frequently joke with Jackie that we found all the lists that there are to be found. But I love this list because it has the real vibe of a 2010 list. Just like, we're just saying whatever we want. Yes.

Oh, yeah. I have a daily list to make. So I'm just going to really go to town and hope the editors don't notice. Yeah, it's so funny. They don't need to fact check anything over here. I can guarantee that. I mean, I could fact check this, but I'm not going to. Madonna recommends peeing on your own feet.

Because being in the shower is really good. It fights athletes' foot. I don't know if Madonna actually said it. But do we believe the shower stop athletes? Well, I don't know. I don't believe. I don't believe that. I believe she said it. I believe that she said it. Don't believe in the amount. This is from healthline.com. Because urine contains urea, a compound that's included in many skin care products, some people, which I did not know that. Some people that think that peeing on your feet may help prevent or treat the fungal infection known as athlete's foot. There is, however, no scientific evidence that urine can treat athletes' foot. Thank you for looking it up, though. Now we all know. Health line is...

Stop pissing all. Health line is my go-to source whenever I'm in a medical panic, so I trust them, even though I don't think I should. A medical panic, which you make it sound like that happens quite a lot, which is...

No, like a psychological medical panic, you know? No, I know, but still you make it sound like it's a very often occurrence, which is upsetting to hear. I will say, though, we've talked about this. I'm fully confident to say

I do sometimes pee in the shower if I get in and I forgot to make my piss happen before I get in. You would have to, with a dong, though, you would have to choose to pee on your feet. Yes. Oh, I could aim and get. You have to go out of your way. Yeah, yeah, I could get the feet really easily.

Yeah, for sure, though. Whereas I feel like for those with pussies, the feet is going to happen unless you go out of your way not to pee on your feet. But I'm doing the opposite. When I'm peeing, I'm purposely keeping my feet away from the pee as much as possible and then washing them afterwards.

Oh, yeah. But I just want to paint the toes, paint the toes. You made me so disgusted today, Jackie. The salmon vodka, the fuck, all of it, dude. I'm so grossed out by your words and thoughts. That's, that's men's fun for you. Now I'm the April full, yeah, exactly. That's what you get used to shit.

This is, come on. All you should be doing is being like, hey, big boy, you know what I mean? You should sit talking like that. Oh, that's what I should be doing. Tell us with your miss. Oh, that's what I should be doing. Hey, my husband gets home and I'm strong. I'd be like, you're strong.

I'm in a maid's outfit. Just being like, whatever you say, daddy. It'd be mans month. It'd be man's month, everybody. Oh, God, prepare. Oh, God. I can't wait for it to be over. Now you know I felt March.

Are you blind yet, you syshech? Blind with your own privilege. I think I was thinking of Bichette's, which is an ailment that a family member has. And not, you know what I mean? I think that's why I came up with Sishets. Anyways, I can't see. I think I'm going. Blind.

It isn't the script troubles that will put an end to the pay cable show. It is the never-ending feud between the illiterate actress and the one-named actress and what they each want, which will make short a third season, never sees a lot of day. Next week, the excuse. will be because of the bad taste in the mouth of executives because of the show with the end of the week singer. This is an easy one. Zendaya and Sydney.

It's more just to talk about this a little bit more. I like the idea that it's actually a feud between the two of them. Oh, yeah. They definitely got too big for the bridges and all that. But also, also, I also am more of a fan of the idea that the idol was an Emperor's New Clothes situation and they literally like see euphoria differently because of that movie. Like just how, like how Tinnett.

Well, I will say Tinnett, I'm definitely down to watch Oppenheimer, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it to a certain degree. But Tinnit made me completely rethink Christopher Nolan. You know, I will say. It made me like Inception less. Yeah. Like, it is funny how something, how a piece of media can like wreck past pieces of media from the same artist. Right. Because there's been a lot of negative talk about Sam Levinson is his name, right?

I feel like he's been, he's been. He's been questionable. I feel like what I remember as a get, and I'm not a euphoria watcher, but I feel like what I remember as a non-euphoria watcher was people being like, this guy, big question mark, but the show is very good. Yes.

You know, so I feel like that big question mark might have just gotten a little bit bigger. Because there was already, there was already like rumblings about like the onset working experience and that I think that there was a lot of like, not physical safety, but I think like emotional safety issues. and I think a lot of...

Which makes sense. It's a very... Yes, it's a hot button show. And they're adults, but they are very young adults, and it makes sense that things might not be handled well on a set like that. Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. I would feel kind of sad for the show if it gets...

If it's now seen in kind of a different light because of the idol. Like, I think that you can be a person who makes one very good thing and then makes one very bad thing. But I guess the problem with the idol was it, shows, it's like anybody who's capable of making something like that, it kind of shows a way that they think about, I guess, specifically women in a way that then is hard to watch a show about young women without having that in your mind, right? Yes, yeah, especially with what happens in the show.

Yeah. But wait, there's more. This is from an article in variety. According to the report, Levinson has largely worked out compelling arcs for Sydney-Sweeney's Cassie and Jacob Allorty's Nate, but he hasn't been able to crack a plot line that everybody likes for Zendaya's lead character, Rue, having apparently pitched both HBO and Zendaya on arcs like, maybe there's a time jump and Rue is now a private detective.

The detective, which nobody... I read about the detectives, though. We love a time jump here at age 70. At least some elements suggested to include a Zendaya pitch where a now sober Rue is a pregnancy surrogate were reportedly rejected for, quote, not feeling like the show, a tricky prospect to deal with for a high school set series

whose leads are now all in their mid to late 20s. And they all blew up. And who have become astronomically famous. Yeah, it means. They all became giant movie stars. Yeah. That makes so much sense to me. Even with taking away the idol out of the picture,

it's like, how can you go back and have Zendaya? It's just, she's just a different figure now than she was, right? It all is. It just makes sense to me. I feel like it ended pretty well, too. I feel like it ended pretty, like, solidly, especially if you add the two specials that they did. Yeah.

I feel like you could just say goodnight to the whole thing. But all right, next one up. It's a longgie. This permanent A-list, mostly movie actor, is an Oscar winner. Over the past few years, he has become paranoid that is being watched by the government. Not just the U.S. government, but other world governments, too. Because of this, he refuses to speak on the phone and doesn't want to be in any room with any phones that are present or at least on. Obviously, this makes it very difficult to communicate with him.

His assistant is called and gets the message. Then leaves their phone in one room and enters a different room and talks to the actor. The assistant gets the answer and goes to the answer and goes. back into the other room and calls the person back. This can go back and forth forever. It is especially tough on sets of movies and everyone has to make sure their phones are locked away at all times. Our actor refuses to do any scenes that involve phones, even if they are completely fake, and also refuses to do any scenes involving food because he thinks he may be poisoned by one of the governments.

This person is classically difficult to get in touch with. El Pacino. No. Oh, get in touch with. Yeah. Ooh, that just sparked. Ooh, who doesn't have a phone? Or who, he did have a phone.

That was the only, that was the only way to get in touch with them was like a phone number. Oh, Nick Cage. No, more known for comedy. More known for comedy. More known for comedy. Jim Carrey. No, but getting closer.

Ben Stiller. Because it's like somebody who blew up in comedy and then kind of switched over a little, crossed over a little bit. Not Brent Stiller. He's weird. There's all these, there used to be this whole online thing about like having interactions with him and it being like this mystique thing that people would like run into him in a crazy thing. He would do. It's not Keanu. No. Comedy. Most known for comedy. I mean, I guess Bill and Ted. And he's weird. A little bit. Yeah. He's interesting. He's very good. He is older. Will Farrell? No, older than that. Older than older. Wow. Man, I thought this would get this. I'm just trying to think of who. would have that type of paranoid.

Is it like a political person? Is it just somebody who's like old in a crank and thinks that he's getting fired? He's an odd duck. Recently he did get some shit for like set behavior, which was sad because everybody loves him. He's been in like massive franchises. I feel like anything else I would say

is immediately going to give it away. Don't give it away. All right. What is wrong with you? I'm going to die. All right. Okay, I'll throw one out that won't immediately give it away. S&L.

Oh, Steve Martin. Similar ballpark. Very similar ballpark. Okay, so that, all right, so Chevy Chase. No. Bill Murray. Yes. Remember he has no, like, agent, Ernie.

Like, the only way to contact him is like a weird phone number back in the day. Oh, that is not who I was saying. Yeah, yeah. At all. Yeah, he was always kind of had a weird thing with, like, getting a hold of him. But this, I don't know. We'll see. Well, he's in the newer Ghostbusters.

Sounds like if you're looking for him, he's there. I feel like there's got to be phones in his scenes. So anyways. All right. Last one up. I wonder why he's so, I wonder what happened. I wonder if it is just like brain stuff or if something that happened. Like what changed.

Right. Because I feel like there is something when you get to, I don't know if it's generational or if you just start to get older. And I feel like there is a thing where like older men start to become a little bit more conspiratorial in terms of like what various devices are trying to kill them or whatever. But then, yeah, as you were describing it, I was like, does he have, like, political beliefs that he thinks he's being persecuted for or spy it on, you know, but it doesn't seem like a Bill Murray thing. Just Bill Murray being Bill Murray. To me, I feel like it's extremely Bill Murray.

Anything odd and strange. Yeah. But I could also all be made up. Last one. Yeah, true. There has been some buzz that this long-running game show is going to be replaced with a different show. Yes, new contracts slash extensions have been signed with the talent, but the cost. or out of hand, and it is not the popular mainstay it once was.

Plus, it could have a natural ending in a few months. You better not say Judge Judy. No, but that's not a game show. Yeah, it is, isn't the trial? Isn't that a game show? It is a game of sorts? It's a game of, oh, yes, of words and bobs. It's a different sort.

Is it not? Also, you include an article where she's putting a new show out. Well, I thought maybe you were like, oh, but maybe it's not. Like, I thought it was one of those where I was like. And we'll talk about that by the, way on The Leftovers. If you want to join our Patreon, patreon.com.com. Page 7 podcasts. All the articles we don't cover in the main show, we cover in the leftovers, $5 a month. Back to you, Jackie. Long-running game show, MJ.

Jeopardy. The other one, Pat Sejack, Will of Fortune. Family Feud, Wheel of Fortune. Yes. Drew Carey. You didn't get it, though. Who's lying is it anyway? Jackie did.

Oh, I still watch the episodes of that every once in a while. No, Wheel of Fortune. It's Wheel of Fortune. Pat Sejack is set to be replaced after this year by Ryan Seacrest. It's his 41st season doing the show. How does every piece of news about Wheel of Fortune just enrage me further? Like, I'm rooting for you, but then you hear about how Vanna White

hasn't gotten a raise. And they're gonna replace it with Ryan Seacrest. It would feel very weird to have a mainstay show like that just disappear at this point. You know what I mean? I don't know life without Wheel of Fortune. It's just, it's a part of life.

I know. And even though most people, even though it feels like cable is over and people just stream, I know I was just listening to something today about how like the numbers on like nightly news shows are still so high compared to like cable news watchers. So it's like people still do watch TV. And so people still must really watch. We'll have fortunate even though that seems like of such a different era.

Oh yeah. I guess people are still probably turning it on while they make dinner. Well, I can see. Well, you can see. Welcome back. Thank you. I miss you guys. It was weird.

I was in a weird pain vortex and now I'm back. I looked it up online. It is a medical issue. I'll be very paranoid about it for the next few weeks. Maybe you should go back. Maybe we should send you back in there. Bye, Holden. We'll see you in May.

Yeah, stay here for the entirety of Men's Month. Dare she drop a new album on Men's Month. Han Holden's self-proclaimed Men's Month, by the way. I don't think anyone else is claiming that. Yeah, no one says it's Mansmonth. Women's name, men's month. I think Holden is the Piety or on that. Please, if that's the one thing I do for society is create Man's Month.

Jesus, Louise. Don't DM me about it. Well, we got to get out of here. No, DMM and just say, do better. Yeah, yeah, or DMM and just say do better. You know what, Holden? Do better. Thank you guys so much.

I will. For joining us on this week's episode of page 7. You know what? I hope knowing that you all got fooled this week. Hopefully you're not just sitting at the bottom of a trash can trying to dust yourself off, thinking, how am I going to continue now that I've been fooled on a Monday? But we will get through it

because this comes out on Thursday, and hell, you've already made it through the week. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And hell, come hang out with us over on Wednesdays. Me and MJ, we play The Sims over on Twitch. Shot TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie, at 8.30 in the morning, my time. 11.30 in the morning, Eastern Standard Time.

Every Wednesday, come hang out. We, woo-hoo. There's lots of woo-hoo. Hell yeah. I already mentioned it once. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. We are having a blast over there with the content we've been providing lately with the Buffy watch-alongs, first of all. $10 a month.

You can enjoy our Buffy watch-alongs. Every single week we drop a new episode where Jackie, MJ and I, it's on video, watch a episode of Buffy and scream about it and love it. And we're having such a good time with it. $5 a month. Jackie's book readings. We've got the already mentioned the leftovers. And check us out of their. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast, Twitch.tv, 4.S. Hold Natersho.

I'm exhausted. I've been streaming every day in March. But I'm keeping a run in, baby. Check me out on Fridays, especially with Jackie. We are doing Jacking with the holdies every Friday at 6 p.m. E.T. Don't miss it, Twitch.combe forward slash holdenators ho. MJ! My name is MJ and I'm MJKLKat on Instagram.

Shout. Shout. Let it out. These are the emails. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm doing this on time. I'm going to read it to you.

Come on. I'm conducting them. I just could tell whether you were wanted us to sing it or not. I'm being a sadly Cooper. Brian Cooper, is that you? Yes. Enjoy the shoutouts. Enjoy the shoutouts.

Just wanted to say thank you guys so much for sending in your shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And you can send whatever you'd like into page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Maybe it's just a, hey, how are you? Maybe it's just letting us know that there's a television show you wanted us to check out. We love hearing from you. again, you can send in your own emails and shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Our first shoutout goes out to the wonderful, amazing Jade.

Now, Jade, I don't know if you're new to our Twitch community, but I just want to say it's been such a pleasure having you. Jade says, I'm on a bit of an edible right now, cleaning my house, and want to shout out our Twitch community. Every Wednesday, getting on Twitch to watch Jackie and MJ play Sims is the highlight of my work week. It's so funny being in chat, rooting for the death of fictional, problematic men. Fuck you, piss boy, Viper Jones, with a group of the sweetest, most uplifting people on the internet. I especially wanted to give a shout out to anyone who was in chat this week

when we lost the stream multiple times. We stuck through it and the man finally died. I also had the absolute best time yesterday watching cats with all of y'all. I was in cats, but I'd never seen the whole movie before. My brother was in it with me, so I was waiting to watch it with him, but it's been five years, and any time I visit him, we don't want to watch it. So, sorry, Jacob, but I watched it with page seven. Let me just say, that was an amazing experience. I was so high watching an insane movie, enjoying three of my favorite people, watching it together, and loving chat.

What a happy moment. It was like seeing y'all on tour all over again. Okay, not as fun, but still a close second. Anyway, I got to get back to cleaning my house, but wanted to shout out all my Twitch babes. I love y'all. Love Jade. Jade gold luck on Twitch. And I just want to say, thank you so much, Jade, for taking the time to write in a little

hi, hello, and and I love you to our Twitch community. Because really, I dare say it is the best Twitch community by far. We have no, like, haters. We just have such a wonderful, beautiful, beautiful, uplifting place. And I want to say thank you. I'm piggybacking over here. Also, thank you from me for showing up every week, whether that be it Jackin or just over on Holdenaders Ho or during the Sims and always bringing just a smile to my face.

I love you guys so much. And our Twitch community means so much to me. And thank you so much. How many times can she say so much? I just want you to know how much I'm feeling. It's so much in case you are wondering. Now, our next shoutout that we have coming up is coming in from an amazing human being.

I just want to give a warning to everyone that it is concerning loss of a child. So if this is something that is not in the cards for your brain today, please, you are welcome to end the show now. And I want to say thank you so much for Ariel for sharing with us, because it is important for us to be here for each other in our community,

no matter what we're going through. And I just want to say thank you because maybe this is reaching someone who needs to hear the idea of moving forward today. And I just want to say thank you, Ariel, for sharing. Ariel says, I'm writing to give a big, huge shout out to myself. The past three years have been brutal. In 2021, I had to have an emergency C-section at 25 weeks due to a massive placental abruption.

Our little girl was so strong, but ultimately the traumatic and early birth was too much, and we lost her five days after she was born. The next year was a blur, and five months after her death, I got pregnant with our son. We were elated but terrified of having another loss. Me and my loving fiancé basically white-knuckled the whole pregnancy, praying every day that we could bring our son home. I went through countless high-risk OB appointments, two hospitalizations due to complications from placenta previa.

But thankfully, our son was born healthy and feisty and 35 weeks, and after a short Nickyuse day, we were able to bring him home on Thanksgiving Day of 2022. What a beautiful, magical day to be born! He is the light of our lives. He was our missing puzzle piece, and I love seeing how amazing of a big sister my oldest is to him. Over the last few months I have finally started to feel like myself again. The grief of losing Mabel will always be there, but it is no longer paralyzing as it was. Three months ago, I started a huge project of renovating one of our spare rooms into our new bedroom.

Like the boss bitch I am, I refinished wood trim, patched holes in the wall, stripped wallpaper and painted until the room is an amazing and peaceful bedroom of my dreams. I have also begun decluttering the things that have piled to my world. up over the past two years. Most importantly of all, I finally figured out what I wanted to do in Mabel's honor so that her memory never dies. This year for her birthday, I made memory boxes for lost parents and donated them to my local hospital and planned to make more and donate to hospitals in the surrounding area this year. That's beautiful, Ariel. I've listened to you guys for years. I had to take a break during Holden's wife's pregnancy for obvious reasons, but now I am back

and it feels like being reunited with old friends. Thank you guys for all the laughs and hours of entertainment over the years. I can't thank you guys enough. Keep it real, you goofballs. And I'm sending so much love right back to you, Ariel, and to your whole family. Oh, congratulations and sending so much love and light your way. And I'm so proud of you for continuing on and moving through such heartbreak and coming out the other side. thank you for being here and for being an inspiration to all of us.

So much love goes out to you. And so much love goes out to everybody that is listening right now. I just want you to feel my love in your ears. And I hope that you accept it. And I hope that it makes you smile. I love you guys so much. Have a hashtag blast week. And I hope your spring is sprung in all of the ways you wish it.

to, I gotta get out of here. I love you guys. I'll talk to you next week. Bye! This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.