Page 7 - Ep. 536: She Needs More Trauma

Episode Date: May 23, 2024

This week Holden, Jackie, and MJ (as well as the Zoom AI overlord), debate the quality of the musical Annie, public opinion of JLO continues to plummet, Billie Eilish hits us all Hard and Soft with her new album drop, Jojo Siwa continues her BAD GIRL ERA as she gets crunk af at Disney and tries to get everyone to sing along with Karma, Scarjo goes toe to toe with OpenAI pullin' an Ursula and STEALING HER VOICE, Chet "WHITE BOY SUMMER" Hanks explains to Tom Hanks about the Drake and Kendrick feud in text, and in Celeb Conspiracy Corner: Was (Or Is) Gwyneth Paltrow in League with SATAN!??! A List full of AWFUL knockoffs and reboots, da Blindz and even mooooooore on this week's Page 7! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This one goes out to MJ who just can't wait to go see a bunch of children sing soon. That's Seneca come on. MJ loves Annie. Tell anyone that will listen. MJ can't wait to see the children scream when I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely. Put me in the red-haired wig. I just stick out of my chin and I grin and I say. Wow, you're a hit.

Damn, yeah. This is a hard song to sing. me in coach i'm ready to be orphan amazing welcome to page seven it's a hard knock life for us yes it's a hard knock life that's the only good song it's such a good song but it's a good one pause that's a good song in the musical i think it's because it's been like so

successfully remixed in the present time i wouldn't have called that a good song and when you say present time do you mean the rug rat song from like 1999. Is that the remix you're talking about? What the hell? That song has been sampled in so many things, right? Specifically, specifically, but I'm only referring to that song with the Rugrats theme in it.

Yeah, I'm not, okay, two things are true, as Dr. Becky says, why is the Zoom giving me an AI thumbs down? Two things are too, even the Zoom is like, the Zoom is like Annie's a bad musical. Two things are true. I am really excited to see the elementary school musical today. I love elementary school musicals. It is how I spent my life for much of my life,

putting on elementary school musicals, and now I get to go see the one at my kids' school. The other thing that is true is that Annie is a shitty musical. We all know it. But I'm sure those kids are going to do a great job. And my children aren't in it, but the kids at the school, the old upper grades, and I'm like, children, it's time to see your first musical.

So Annie's going to be their first musical, and you know they're going to want to listen to the soundtrack after we get home. And apologies to all of our musical theater lovers out there, but I hope that we can all agree that musical kind of sucks. And we're all forced to be in it. If you are a musical theater person, you have been in. I will say, I think that it gave me a daddy Warbuck's thing, though, that I didn't know that I had.

Yeah, it was kind of your first daddy. I think so, and especially had all this money. And I was like, I want daddy to come in and pick me up out of my house and say, little girl, I'm giving you a big world. It's weird. I think that it's a little bit strange that the entire musical is like, what if a strange man who wasn't in your family takes you to his home? And now you live with him.

Yeah. You know. You could just, I mean, especially back then, you could just see a child who take the child. That's it. That's it. That was my understanding of both the foster and adoption industries in the United States was from Little Orphan Annie, the movie. with Carol Burnett just like, yeah, there's just a mean lady who keeps all the kids in a house,

and then a strange man comes and takes a kid. That's it. Also, was it because of Carol Burnett of why I wanted to be in like an old drunk with like my panty hose, like hanging down off of my knees? Yes, definitely. She's the best part of that. I, come on. I think it's all the chill. I'm singing. Why is the, you've just got a thousand people? Why are you getting this? No. I can't tell how this. Doesn't agree, bro. I swear to God, I'm not. doing anything. I have no idea why that's at. Why is that happening? It keeps giving me a thumbs down. So we discovered, you want me to start doing that every time you get your thumbs down?

Jackie and I discovered on our sim stream last week that if you haven't, I haven't, I'm one of those people who never updates anything, but Zoom must have updated for me. And if you give two thumbs up when you're on a Zoom call, you will get like a fireworks display behind you, and it's awesome. And yes, are they currently doing this? saying it, the answer is yes. No, Holden doesn't have it. I don't have it because I'm trying to do like a, I try to use all of the effort going into the Zoom

because it takes, I don't know, bandwidth, I don't know, it takes the data breaches away. I don't know what happens. I was told to shut it off. Right, you had to turn everything off, try to make the Sim stream work better, which it has been. So that's cool.

Go check out the Sim stream on Wednesdays. Yes, yes, because soon Natalie has to start turning a bunch of vampires into vampires because she's going to be creating some sort of vampire family. Oh, wonderful. Well, I for one, am extremely unhappy that I need to see Annie after this recording. But, you know, that's the energy I'm bringing into this episode. Oh, God, what if the public elementary school wanted to do cats?

Can you imagine how, see, that kind of kids singing, I would watch. Yeah, maybe you don't like kids singing because the songs, kids, are given to sing are not good enough. I've also always wanted to do an all-child production of Lamez, but that's ambitious. I don't understand what they can't understand the themes. And I'm like,

get smarter children, what you don't know enough about the French Revolution? And where's the Sondheim in all of this? I mean, seriously, company, a chorus line. Yeah. I mean, where are the ladies who lunch as small children?

They know. all about the ladies who lunch. Oh, do they? And speaking of ladies who lunch, oh, guys, it's the greatest love story that maybe never should have been told. We must start talking up top.

We are watching the downfall of Jennifer Lopez. I love that we've just, watching it. We've decided they're definitely getting divorced. And I don't even think it's actually been, there's no like good hard evidence per se other than just swirling, but we all just

know that like J-Lo has to hit a rock bottom at her life right now. Like her tour isn't selling, her big gambit of throw it down so all of her own money to make, you know, this. How much was it again? It was like millions of dollars. $20 million. $20 million. Dude, I just did it at a Whisper episode on the Mad Max movies.

The first Mad Max movie cost $400,000. Really? Yeah. You don't need to. been that much money to make a movie. I don't even care if it's 2024. This is insane that she did that. And I just feel like in my head,

we've already decided what's going on. She got way too personal about she what. The whole reason they broke up in the first place was because of how public their relationship was made. Thumbs down. Now, your fucking ass, MJ. Wow, another thumbs down. Zoom has a lot of beliefs on Jennifer Lopez and made no idea.

Zoom is having an invisible fucking... robotic audience member weighing in on what our opinions are today is going to be a real adventure. I know. I'm going to stop speaking about the thumbs down thing, but I had to mention it one last time. That's so fucking funny. Stop insulting Jennifer Lopez. She was like, I know what we'll do. We'll make like our whole story the super public event, right?

Because that's like such a smart idea based on the history of our relationship. And I love how everybody is like, but it is. is told. It's so told. You've already told it. We know it's been told too much perhaps. Too much. You guys are megastards. And also like, it's just, I can't a great love story

is like broken people. You just brought up Les Mez, right? I mean, it's just like people lost in the world. Finding solace in each other. There's, which you think they could be. Because they've

both been through the ringer like the Hollywood gauntlet. They should be a tale as old as time. I actually had to explain this to Gideon because he was like, he was the one who told me about this. He was like, and I love also that it's like a where's Kate situation in the sense that they weren't photographed together for 47 days.

And it's a bit like... 47 days. 47 days. Yeah, 47 days and nice. It's a bit like Where's Kate. And Gideon was like, told me and I was like, oh no. And he was like really surprised by my reaction. And he was like, do we care?

And I was like, well, I think that I did want them to succeed because I do think that it's really the idea of like meeting when you're young and then having this relationship that's like obviously really like passionate but then just doesn't work out because of circumstance. The circumstances that it's too public. But like, you know, it doesn't have. And then and then going and living full lives, having children like raising the, Jennifer Garner just posted this very cute video of her crying. Watching her child's graduation. Oh my God, that's such a cute. I love Jennifer Garner.

Right, let's talk about that, Jennifer for a day. I know, I've totally come around on her. I know, she is the people's bitch now. And so, like, they've had these full lives, and then they come back together in like, you know, it's not like they're dying, but it's like a sunset. It's like the different era of their lives.

And I thought that they moved into a $60 million marital mansion together. It's just like us. Yeah, it's so absurd for us. Yeah, she's that girl. the block. Whenever she lets her hair down, she runs around the streets like that wild girl. She's so crazy. She, um, just making fun of that scene. From the documentary, we still need to watch together. We're going to do a watch along of it soon. Uh, but yeah, they are, uh, you know,

I realized too, because Ben Affleck also recently, he didn't bomb per se, but he, he had one of the weakest sets out on the Tom Brady rose. It was kind of a bomb. I mean, really. Yeah. And I just realized they are, it's the Gile effect. Like they, if they get together, all of the stuff they put out just turns to dog shit. And I think they're just bad luck together. Actually, it's the greatest love story that should never be told. Because they should never be together again. You know what I mean?

I mean, it's a mess. I don't, you know, I think the one thing that he was drawn to her for, per's by speculation, other than that fucking booty, dude, you want to just, oh, I don't even care if there's dookies in it, man. You just want to sniff it out and lick on it. But besides that, you know, I think it really just comes down. to she's just the cleanest. She's like Mark Wahlberg level clean.

She's just like doesn't drink and she doesn't. And he's a mess. He's been kicked out of casinos. You know, he's like completely like a total wreck. But that's just because he's counting cards holding. No, no, no. No, no. He's been banned from casinos for counting cards.

He's been kicked out of casinos for being insanely drunk. Ah, there you go. He is leaving Las Vegas levels when he's a drinker. Like he loves to gamble and he loves to get fucking. smash loaded. We know this and I think that she keeps him in a good way in a padded room. In a cage. Yeah. Birding a cage.

Yeah. A flecks in a cage. Yes. And I think that that's good for him to be sober but outside of that I think creatively they are horrible together. I mean everything they do together when they're to get like a part Yeah. It's bad. It's bad. It's all bad. I mean, they make really good commercials. They make really good commercials while they're together. So there's that. And that's

fun. They do that. And, you know, a lot of the conversation is around how open Jennifer Lopez is with very intimate details of their life that it does seem, of course, you know, we're never going to know the actual truth, but it does seem that Ben Affleck is upset about that. And specifically in the documentary, there is this scene where she brings these musicians in. And apparently, Ben Affleck knows nothing about this, that he had given her, like, writings of, like, put together a book of all of these intimate love letters he had written for her. And then she goes and reads them all to a bunch of strangers. And, like, on a camera. Ben Affleck, can you imagine what, like, what, like, it's against his privacy. How dare you do that? Like, that is such a vulnerable thing to do is to write love letters to

someone and to share those when someone doesn't know that you're going to do it. Like that's just a like a tidy portion of I imagine the things that she does. I just realized it just clicked with me too that it was like since you guys have gotten back together, which was true. Even we were like, hell yeah. Like after you guys, since you guys have gotten to get back together, everyone is like really hot on you guys. So J-Lo, it is your moment.

Okay. It is your time to finally like return to the limelight and be the center of attention again that you so desperately crave for so long because no one gives a fucking shit about you for the last two decades. But now is the time because people think the relationship thing is nice and sweet. So really get out there.

And then she was like, I know what I'll do. I'll do the thing that ruined our relationship in the first place, but put way more money. But do it myself and not even let the paparazzi. I'll do it all myself and I'll put millions of dollars into it. I mean, he must have been beside himself when he was finding out, like, how much money she was investing into this project. I have to see these scenes now that he's in while they're working on this thing, too. Yeah.

Because there's no way in a million years, he, I just don't think he ever really backed this thing and was like, I just got to trust it because she's insane and really not fun to make mad. So go for it, baby. and then it's just this incredible. She is just so outside of reality. It's hilarious. I tried to send the article to you, a good article to you guys. We talked about before, but I have to reiterate, there's this hilarious Twitter thread of someone

who was like, I used to work at a private airport that Jennifer Lopez used all the time and told multiple, like, Ellen-level store, like, you know what I mean? Just crazy stories. like she doesn't eat on the same plate more than once and she demands that you throw the plate out I'm sure this is nice stuff too right? For the story she will only use linens and dishes once

and will demand they are thrown away we of course pretend to do so but in reality we would take the Egyptian cotton sheets and dishes home to this day I still have the best soup bowls ever from a flight she took Egyptian cotton. The one that you were referring to that she does not reuse sheets or dishes.

And it's like, you know, I know that we shouldn't look at photographs of Ben Affleck and assume that we know him. But I've seen a lot of photographs of Ben Affleck. And I can just guess just from looking at how sad he looks all the time. And I know that our hypothesis here is that he just has like neutral sad face and that he's just afflicted with that. But also, just look at the man.

And do you think that is a man? Look at the picture of him holding the Duncan. You know, the meme one. And look at him and think, is this a man who wants his private love letters broadcast to the world? And I just know that the answer is no. And the real loser and all of this is page seven because we chose to watch Crossroads instead of This Is Me. I know. Now, colon, a love story, semi-colon, the documentary.

I agree. Grace Love Story never told. Ben Affleck in every picture looks just like that dude that you knew in college or in our early 20s that was in an obviously toxic relationship. Yes. That was just constantly defeated just by the endless drama and, you know. Look at them and you know, you go, bro, it doesn't have to be this way. Yeah, you don't have to call her again.

You don't have to call her again. You don't have to check in with her again. You just talk to her. Why would she be paranoid? You're literally hanging out with your other two guy friends watching a Sopranos Marathon. There's no reason you need to check in right. now bro. She's just mad at me mad. She just wishes

I hung out with you guys less and with her even more. He is the boy who is the subject of you belong with me, the Taylor Swift song, you know? Like he's sad all the time because your girlfriend's not nice to you. She doesn't get you.

She doesn't want to listen to the same music as you. You know, like he's in that sad relationship with that girl who's And I just want to say, thank fucking God you just brought up Taylor Swift. Because I needed to hear that goddamn name right now, bro. I left Kelsey Jam off the list for a reason.

Let's talk about it. The new album. What do you guys? No, actually, we do need to talk about the Billy Elish's new album, dude. It is. You know, I fell off the second album, Billy Elish. I enjoyed it, but in my head, I was like, okay, I dig. I dig it, but in my brain, I never, and I will say I only listened to it a couple of times,

so I never gave it a lot of chances, because I love that first album so much. Neither of us were depressed in college while listening to that second album. I think that's the difference. But this album is like, it's different, and I am digging it. I am very interested. I'm very here for watching this, like, growth of Billy Eilish. and I'm just excited to see what she's going to do. I like there's more bops on it too.

I just, I needed a couple bops. I needed to get a couple of head bops going, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Because it's like, yeah, album number two is like get lost in your own sheets. Like literally be unable to figure out how to get out of your bed because you're so in a maze of your own just linens. Which also, there's a time and a place for that album. Sure. Sure.

Sure. Absolutely. And I love that last track on this like, it's great. But yeah, this new one. just feels like she's like spreading her wings. You know what I mean? She's like open up those flappers and getting out there. Let her fly like the phoenix that is on Ben Affleck's back. Will he be able to reinvent himself again?

Or just invent himself at this point. I feel like he's a shell of a human being. I mean, I think he's reverted to just a piece of paper. I mean, look at this guy. He is, I've never seen a man more broken by a woman. Broke him like a promise. Broke it like a Please, thank God

you just brought up a Taylor Swift lyric I'm so thrilled right now. I was, I had a little bit of a spiral reading about sad Ben because I was like, we've talked a lot about

how it's not how we regret, you know, the general mocking of people like Britney Spears but yet I find it very fun to make fun of Ben Affleck and I'm trying to figure out

like what's the difference there. Obviously for her, there's the predatory sexual stuff when she was young, I think is the main difference, right? He also got famous when he was young, but at very different circumstance. He was a young man who was gifted and brilliant. What about how he was treated by the media? How about how, like, in all of his upsets, how has he been treated in the media versus how Britney Spears is treated in the media?

I think that is part of the country. Totally. And also just hearing Holden say it, it's like he's, I think somebody like Brittany has been broken by, you know, patriarchy, society, the public, the paparazzi, abusers, yeah, anyone that could get their hands on her. Ben Affleck has basically been afforded kind of limitless opportunities and has thrived. You know, he's directed. He's still obviously an incredibly rich famous person.

He's proven himself really well. And he's really, he is a fucking Phoenix. He's made some dog shit stuff. He's been a part of some embarrassing stuff. And then reinvents and comes out and directs the table. which is awesome, you know, and stuff like that. And that's after Gile. So it's like if you can come back from Gile, you can come back.

Totally. I think I even would have to say that he has more talent. Can I say that than Jennifer Lopez? Oh, I thought you said then Britney Spears. I was like, well, I don't. I mean, let's talk. Brittany versus Ben. It's very different.

I want to see the Britney and Ben go toe to toe, singing competent knife blade dancing knife blade dance off who is more unhinged at knife blade dancing I don't know

I think that Ben Affleck could give her a run for her money but speaking of unhinged we must discuss Jojo Siwa during her 21st birthday oh my God you don't understand guys she's a bad girl okay she's a bad girl now

and so she does only bad girl things and what that means is being real cringe at Disney World on her 21st birthday. She's not like the other girl. She's such a bad girl. She's doing what 16 year old good girls do in high school. Go to Disney World and like get drunk at the theme park.

Yeah, it's crazy. Can someone get her ass to like a Bitha or something like that? And yeah, I said it right. Wow. She got to do the list thing. Or Bita. Or fucking Burning Man or something. Like can we shoot her ass out of a cannon into like, actually no.

Send her to like Camp Cape Town or something You know what I mean? She needs to go somewhere Where she's gonna like get she needs to get roughed up Whoa I don't think she needs to get beat No No no we need to keep her Listen I am now fully pro

Jojo You're pro Jojo you're Jojo You're Jojo pro Whoa! Whoa! For the memes She's a she's a meme generator She's a meme machine She's a human meme generator. You saw her dancing with Mario Lopez is on the set of whatever fucking stupid

show he hosts and the person in the crowd behind who's also doing all the moves. I keep watching her dance. I'm like, why do you dance like this? I know you're technically a good dancer, but it's so, it's an assault on the eyes. But she is just, the memes from that clip alone, I would keep her around. She's so sincere. She's so earnest. And I, I will say insider scoop from somebody that knows one of her choreographers. They are trying to do other things. But she really likes these moves. Is the word on the street.

She loves to do it. The gyrating. Can't stop her. If you look up the, I don't even know how to look this up. There's a compilation of her doing the same insanely dumb-looking dance move where she just like, gyrates. How does she not hurt her name? I know, right?

I know. She literally looks like she kind of gets like a weird momentary o going. And then it's just, she just kind of go, slams her head, slams her head and slams her head. But it's not even like that cool style of hip hop dance where people kind of do these like movements and it looks purposeful. It just looks not purposeful.

By the way, you're not on video. If Jay just sort of did like the robot like. Yeah, I can't imitate the dance moves. But also, look up these, the videos of her drunk on her 21st birthday because that's the thing. You want to be like, oh, she's being bad. But what she's doing is she's got sunglasses on that say finally 21,

and she's openly drunk, and she's pointing at young people, singing the song karma, trying to get them to fill in the words every time she would pause, but no one knows the lyrics. So she just kept pointing at people trying to get them to sing along,

and she just hammered in the middle of the day, but nobody knows the lyrics. Yeah, the only lyric anyone knows, of that song is karma's a bitch. I should have known better, which is the part she would sing, and then everyone and I would do the same, karma's a bitch, should have known better.

I will never know the lyrics. And I've heard this song a lot now, and I'll never know those lyrics ever. And I've tried. I've tried to commit them to memory. It's impossible. I dare say my main downfall is how often I now say to myself as a joke. I started as a joke and now it has come full around. I keep saying,

Karma's a bitch, should have known better. And I've been saying it in a bitchy tone to make fun of the joke, but now I'm just genuinely saying it. So it always comes full circle, y'all. It comes back around.

Yeah, I, the carma's a bitch. And so wait, anytime, anytime something annoying happens to you. Yes, anytime, Garmin's been going better. Anytime like, we were at the airport yesterday

and we got in the, like, the TSA line that was moving a lot slower. I'm a bit. Which I want to dig deeper into. So what do you think carmically you did? Carmish bitch.

I'm holding. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a bad girl. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, that's all the only other lyric I know. Right. I love, yeah, I really like, chat us the S&L portrayal of her, by the way. It was so funny.

He said, I'm a bag of that. I'm bag of that. That was great. That was great. I also feel like she's giving those of us that scream nonstop a really, bad name. You know, like us raspy ass bitch is out here. She's really given us a bad name. I, you know,

I, I, I love to scream. And I love anybody that loves to scream in fun, jovial ways. And that's definitely her. But she's really making us, we gotta get her, yeah, I think we need to get her like trading, you know, like we need to get her like, um, like racketeering.

She should be, yeah, or, yeah, I guess it should be bad girl. Because I was saying like, or like, make her be like a a fireman for like a month. She needs more trauma. She needs more trauma. I don't know, man. She came from dance mom. I think she's probably got enough trauma.

She's got a lot of trauma. I know. What is going on here? It's a head scratching for me. Maybe it's like, ah, wow, this fire is really hot. Oh my God, I just watched five people die today. You know what I mean? Like, we need so.

We need some. Don't rough her. I don't want her to get roughed up. You're right. That's crazy. But she does need some sort of, like, outside of dance moms. Experience. She needs to go live.

She needs to learn, you know? She needs to go fly, just like Ben Affle. Yeah, like, so one of those, oh, oh, you know what it is? You know those bad kid camp? You know, she said a good kid to the bad camp? She used to be, like, fake kidnapped. Yeah, she used to be fake kidnapped and, like, put in the desert for life. But you know what the problem is?

You'd cut to it two weeks later. She'd just be like, wow, this desert's great. It's really cool, right? And they're just like dancing and stuff. Like, where did you get a margarita? Like, we're in the middle of, like, we're in the middle of, like, we're in the middle of nowhere. Oh, wow, yeah, this is crazy, man. It's really cool, man.

I love lifting rocks all day, man. You know, she's like, you can't break her. She's unbreakable. Yeah, that's why we got to keep her. Keep her around. It is like dancing. The way that she talks to, I, uh, thaw. yeah actually I just realized I love her you cannot get her doubt like it doesn't seem like I'm sure we're gonna get the you know cyborg Oprah interview in like 10 years where she's like you know to cries it talks about how hard this time in her life was but it seems like she is totally unfazed by literally everyone knowing not even like deciding or thinking like knowing deep of their hearts this is so embarrassing it's such a

a bad, bad move for her, you know. But I wonder what the kids think. Do we have, do we know what the kids think? I mean, do they, are there, are there, jogenators? Are there, you know what I mean? Do we, are they cool? Are they on board? Do they love this?

Didn't we hear from some, I think we heard from somebody who wrote in that their eight-year-old felt like it was cringe. And when you've lost the eight-year-old. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about, dude. This is not good. But I am here to imagine. I'm in hell right now.

You know, she's literally in hell. She's like, wow, this is crazy, man. It's just sofa everywhere. Just like demons fucking sticking me with blades all day. This is crazy, man. Wild stuff, man. Let me, you guys, sing the songs. The demons are like, please stop.

You're like, please stop. We are the torturers. Stop the torturries. Please. Cabins are. Ah. Do you another way? Ah.

It's a bitch. It's a bitch. It's a bitch. Please. Hello, Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the Brider Side here to check in with you. See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory?

Did you try to throw your air friar in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the Brider Side podcast is for you. Oh, yeah! Each week we take nasty, duky, stupid. Dumb. Stinky, no good, do-do factory. Boo. Caca-like topics and try to find the brighter side.

Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? At least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. Now, I bet Scarlett Johansson wishes she could be doing that to her tormentors, I don't think she's going to be able to. Man, this whole story is a little crazy that Scarlett Johansson straight up told open AI to not use her voice.

We all remember the movie Her, which I think made us all fall even more in love with Scarlett Johansson, as specifically, as someone that really is attracted to voices. I never realized I was attracted to Scarlett Johans's voice until watching the movie Her, which blew my mom. I love the movie her. Yes. She's so good in it. But so open AI goes to her and is like, hey, would it be cool if we pay you lots of money and we use your voice essentially as a Siri? And she thought about it and she decided, no, I don't want to do that.

But then Open AI, what do they do? They end up putting out the voice generator that does still sound just like her, even though they openly say, we use somebody else. It doesn't, that's supposed to sound like you. Like, we just, like, use somebody else. But apparently it sounds just like her. I bet they fucking actually A-I'd her voice. I bet they- Certainly.

I'm sure. Like, 100%. I'd have to go listen to it. But, I mean, I'm sure maybe. And because also they could even claim, oh, it's a different voice by, like, subtly changing stuff about, you know, in, in post. But that's what they're claiming. They're like, it's just a soothing voice.

How much can you change something? someone's voice to make it be your own thing. You know, like how much, like, to the extent of like, you know that you can use a song to sample it up to a certain amount in certain ways. You know, you know that you can parody a song up to a certain amount in certain ways and you have to change it in proper ways. And this legal battle, because of course, Scarlett Johansson was forced to hire legal counsel is now suing them.

And, but what is the, what is going to come? from this. Like I feel like what's going to come is lots more laws of how to govern things like this. But how do you govern things like this? Yeah. I mean, SAG AFRA has weighed in and is like, we're thankful to, we thank Ms. Johansson for speaking out on this issue. Um, we share her concerns. So I feel like at least this is something that there is obviously, I mean, the whole strikes. This was central to the whole SAG after strike. So like, but, But yeah, I mean, I think that it's so upsetting to be like, what makes a human voice, right?

But obviously, the fact that it's, it's, it's, I think the creepiest part of this is the fact that chat GPT is like, it's not your voice. It's a real, like, dystopian kind of denial of reality. Like, it's not your voice. It's just a soothing voice. Because if Scarlett Johansson can be like, this is my voice. And everyone else is like, this is Scarlett Johansson's voice.

And they're like, No, it's just kind of an approximation of a voice that it's like the niceness of your voice, but not you. That's the whole thing, right? But also, yeah, I mean, I was, we were talking about this before we started recording. And I was like, man, there's hours and hours and hours of us talking into microphones. And I'm sure you could make an AI imitate our voices, but we're, it's so strange here. And our voices are all very unique.

And would it be, it obviously isn't, it's not. could be us. It's like, I don't even want to ask, would it be us? And how do you copyright your own voice? Right. Like, how do you not have someone use it for other things? Yeah, I mean, I think it's just kind of impot. I mean, I'm sure they're going to scramble to try to figure out, that's what's tough about all this tech stuff. I mean, it's a scramble then to try to figure out the legalities, but I feel like they never even worked out cyberbullying and like, you know, online pirating of stuff. And I mean, so how the fuck are they going to have any control of this? I will say, though, in defense of open A,

I do have to say to Scarlett Johansson, karma's a bitch. You should have fucking known better. You should have known better. Like seriously, dude. You should have known better. What the fuck are you putting out into the world that's making robots steal your life force, dude?

Your soul, bro. What I do appreciate is that Scarlett Johans is not even looking for money in this legal counsel. She has said that she just wants an explanation. She wants resolution in the form of transparency and is asked open AI to detainees. the exact process by which they created the voice of Sky. Hell yeah. So they are openly being like,

we didn't and we didn't know and we didn't, uh-uh. And she's like, prove it. Okay, you didn't. Then I want to see how you created it. And I want to, like, I would assume talk to the person to make sure, like, whose voice, which I appreciate they are hiding the name of whatever actress or whoever performed the voice and their height of private, like giving her privacy, which thank you for doing that.

So I would assume it's probably going to include having to use the person whose voice was actually used to talk to her, I guess, to make sure that she wasn't trying to like, wasn't directed to be like Scarlet Joy. Like, I just don't know what's going to happen. I don't buy it, though. Yeah. I don't buy it.

I think it's really convenient. I feel it's really convenient that they're hiding the persons, uh, the actual. Yeah, I don't fucking buy it. I think they just hooks it. Yes. Because they'll take anything. They don't give a fuck.

It's lawless, dude. They don't give a shit. And the executives are the same. They're just like, oh, cool. We can take these numbers. I mean, I'm sorry, people and just like make robot extras instead or, you know, AI extras instead of human extras. Yeah. Oh, thank God.

Because I'm sick of feeding those fucking dogs. We already make me eat last on the set. I don't know. I've talked about this before. The set hierarchy is so gross. They don't let the extras eat until everyone else is eaten. The extras have to sit there and walk. everybody who is more important in them,

get food first. Like we're in a feudal fucking society. I've never been treated worse than as an extra on a movie set. You know what I mean? And I yelled at men at a Hanna dealership. And I've never been treated worse than, well, Jacksonville TSA, actually. I'll throw that, I'll throw that fucking number in the hat for sure. Jacksonville TSA, come at me.

I don't give a F or an F. Man, the TSA, nothing they love more than getting threatened. Oh, they love it. I'm telling them to come at me. I want them to attack me. Oh, okay. I mean, this is what they do. It's just obviously they just used hours and hours of Scarlett Johansson to generate her voice.

This is, I mean, you can make, you can, a New York Times reporter did this and said, Chat, GBT, GBT, generate an article written in my voice. And that's also interesting. Like, you can have a voice like your voice voice voice, but then also you have your creative voice. and you can tell ChatGPT generate an article based on this journalist's written voice. And she did this and they did it. And she was like, I mean, it wasn't, I could tell that it wasn't me, but also it did a really good, it read hundreds of things I had written with my byline and it generated.

It immediately was able to generate something that sounded just like I write. And that's so like, because again, talk about what you can trademark. I know people have trademarked their faces. I don't know how you trademark a voice. How can you trademark your writing voice, right? Like this is why this shit needs to stop because... So scary. Yeah.

And this is also, not to be talking TV, but this is why I didn't like the circle. Because I was like, it's just not interested in the circle's AI plot. Because I'm just like, this is, it's just not interesting to me what AI can do. And I guess I have to get interested. I guess I have to get curious. It's a part of our lives,

but I don't give a fuck. I don't want it and I don't want, I just don't want, I just don't want that. I don't want anything to do with it. Aren't you worried that this is where we get lost though? Like I feel like this is how the generations get technologically lost where like I hear about chat GPT and people are like it is easy to use Jackie. Like you can use it for recipes. You can use it for so many different things and I'll go, oh cool.

How do I make it make it make it? Can someone make it be it robot? And I don't know how to do it. And I know that it's like, I guess it's just a website. but I've not looked into it and I worry that this is where I start to fall. This is what I'm saying. I just don't want to be left behind. I just saw they made like a real life still suit.

I believe it's still suit right from Dune where you piss in it and it turns into fucking water and you drink your piss in the suit. They made it quick. Are you just saying you want that? No, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm scared of it. I don't want to pee. I don't want to drink my piss.

I can just get you a water bottle. I can get you one of those backpacks that's not piss, but it's just water and you can suck on the water. Look, I want to get hard by drinking water. This is the only way to do it, okay? If it could, if it is full piss play. It is a nightmare out there. I mean, you know what I mean?

I mean, a robot trying to suck my dick in the in and out. I don't know what that is. You're welcome. Honestly, they're doing your wife. Should have known better. Should have known better. Just get my dick. Just get my, yeah.

Well, it's like biting my cock off. Charma's a bitch. Should have known better. Sunday made that robot suck my dick. Which would have been a much more memorable lyric, Jojo. So really can reconsider your lyrics, okay? Because that people would fucking stick in their brain for a little bit longer. Disney would be screaming that on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney.

And you know, usually when we bring up Chet Hanks, it is a karma's a bitch and you should have known better kind of scenario. But MJ sent us this text yesterday that I was. like, oh, I thought it was just a made-up X tweet. It was of Chet Hank's explaining to his father Tom Hanks about the Drake and Kendrick Lamar

feud. I ended up looking into this and turns out it was not fake and an actual screenshot. Now, this is again, this is according to Tuesday. Maybe these things will be different by Thursday. But as of right now, it is

a real text. Oh, yeah. Of Chet Hanks, Tom Hanks asks, Big Main, can you explain the Drake Kendrick Lamarfew to me? And then he does in actually a very succinct way. I, A, Big Main, what's that all about? Big Maine. So cute. So cute. In, like, his name in caps, like the B and the M are capital.

Big Maine. That is what he calls him. Second of all, yeah, the breakdown, actually, if you, I mean, I feel like at this point, everyone's caught up on everything. But if you really are totally out of the loop on it and want the most concise breakdown of what the fuck happened, it is actually very, very well done, in my opinion.

I hate to give Chet any compliments, but I will say I found it to be an incredibly concise yet detailed breakdown of the events that happened in a comical way. But then Tom Hanks' response is so funny. Do you want to say it, Jackie? His response was, holy cow!

these are fighting words, period. People taking sides, question mark, question mark. Who's winning? Question mark quench. Which is funny for multiple reasons. The best boomer dad text exchange. Holy cow. Holy cow, those are some fighting words.

By the way, the fighting words he's referring to is literally like accusations of wife beating and pedophilia. It's such a funny reaction to be like, holy cow, those are some fight words right there. Like he's in a fucking 1950s cartoon. And then he's like, who won? And he's like, Chad Hanks fit. finishes by being like, not only did, not only did Kendrick won,

but like it made the West Coast, entire West Coast win. Like it was so, it was so just fundamentally like, earth destroying. I mean, this track, by the way, Kendrick's final track, not like us, is like number one on the charts. Like, blew it out of the water.

This track has never hit this incredibly popularly with like society at large. I mean, It is the club banger of the, I could not imagine what the fuck Drake is even going through on that with that going on. I do have to read this portion of it. In Chet Hanks trying to explain it to Tom Hanks, he said that the last West Coast banger, it was like, it was pretty much the sonic equivalent of when you took me to Tom Hanks, when you took me to your high school in Oakland and we walked in on the basketball game and everybody started going nuts. Like if you heard it, you would just automatically know how to Crip Walk with a stank face while clutching an Oscar in each hand with Marshawn Lynch, then dab him up and tell him

town bidsness, which solidified the win not only for Kendrick, but the entire West Coast. And I love, it really did explain it very well to Tom Hanks. Yeah. It really makes me want to like, oh, I really want to, Chet Hanks obviously has a lot going on. He's got a lot of issues. But you know what? I know we don't stay in by and it's not even a criticism.

Like I want, I want Chet Hanks to like go to a couple of workshops, you know? Like and, you know, just like you're kind of basic like unpacking your privileged knapsack kind of 101 workshops. I want him to just do a little bit. And then I want him to become some sort of, he's, he has, the way that he writes is fantastic. He has. It reminds me of those.

videos he made, you know, about the White Boy Summer, you know, you're missing, we're missing a big piece of what needs to be happening here. But also what is happening here has a lot of potential. He has undeniable Riz. Yes. It's just, it's just, it's just the case of it. And that's why he's able, and it's so funny compared to Colin, Colin, Mr. Collin, you know what I mean? And you just got Chet over there. Chet has, unfortunately, for society, a reasonable level of swagger and Riz that that allows him to continue to stay at the side guys. Yes, exactly. If we can harness it for good, if we can get him to do just again,

we really need to have him take a couple of identity. He needs to learn a lot. Yes, learn a lot about how to talk about people with other identities than him, talk about his own identity. We really need to work on the identity stuff with him. And then I really think that we can harness this boy's Riz, because it is. It's exceptional.

This text exchange is terrific. And Tom Hanks is just the embodied boomer dad to text with. Like, it's perfect. Everything about this exchange is perfect, especially, hey, Big Main, I need to know more. How did that become his family nickname? What does it mean? And I also, it's like, I hate it. I sent Holden and MJ a screenshot of this Instagram of Chet Hanks.

And it says, I have consulted with the heavens felt it. westward breeze and walked outside of a strip club and saw my shadow. Dot, dot, dot, dot. This will be a white boy summer. And I just, I just, he's so ridiculous. It's like, what are you talking about? That's so good. It's so funny.

It's so dumb. I know he needs to learn so much. Go figure you shit out, Jen eggs, because I think that you are a very funny person. I'd love to see on an Excel spreadsheet, just the sheer number of hours he's spent in a strip club in his lifetime. I'm sure it's great. Oh, my God.

The amount of time. Well, you know, I think it might be about time for it. It's time of the celebrity conspiracy. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? This one comes in from Sonia, who writes, was or is Gwyneth Paltrow in league with Satan? Whoa.

Is this going to help my full turnaround on Goop? Possibly. Yeah, is she cool now? Does she have the Riz of the devil? Oh. In her Goop Lab Netflix show preview, we see Goop say, and I'll do this in Jojo Ceeva's voice. I've had nexusism. Turns out she's referring to her chiropractor or a chiropractor session she had with a man named John Amaral. On his website, he says he began his career as a chiropractor, but now claims to be an energy practitioner? Cool. Which is well and good, but it does. not a Father Marin make. But remember Father Marin is the exorcist priest. But remember the video of Julian Howe having

a demon come out of her body. Here's a refresher if you don't remember. She links to a YouTube video. It's completely insane. She literally is like dancing like Jojo Siwa but like laying on her back sort of thing while screaming violently. Whoa.

Well, the man that pulls the demon out of her, John Amaral. Does she keep him around to periodically keep Satan at bay? Next piece of evidence, her vagina starts fires. We know this. At least her vagina candle does. In the summer of 2021, a woman sues goop because the infamous vagina candle exploded caused a fire and smoke damage in her own.

Well, it's not stated in the article. I'm assuming she also had to pay some sort of spiritual healer to come and cleanse her house as well. Also, let's talk about her kid. Apple? Apple? Whoa. Who is Apple most affiliated with devil's snake? Perhaps an homage to the devil's favorite fruit.

I just want to specify that I'm sure that's sweet, precious baby, now fully grown adult, Apple is a lovely human and that has nothing to do with the devil. That's their words, not mine, Sonia. Then there is shallow howl. That's it. That's the evidence of her being in league with the devil, shallow howl. Shallow hell for sure. Probably the most...

You could have put that one the first bullet point, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's probably the most compelling of all. Finally, the thing that began my suspicions about this conspiracy, I was listening to a paranormal podcast. No, not that one, but they were at my gateway drug to y'all. But the synopsis for that week's episode was, two friends believe they may have accidentally summoned a demonic entity

while imitating something they saw in Gwyneth Paltrow's Netflix show, Goop Lab, is the devil using Goop as a conduit to get unsuspecting victims to conjure this demon army? Anyways, this is where I go into the niceties. I love you. Love the podcast, have a killer impersonation of Jackie's mom. Sonia does. MJ, you are the most relatable parent in the podcasting world,

and I really appreciate the realness, but I blame you entirely as to why I get ads about Mormonism and why my Instagram feed is nothing but Mormon mom fluencers. I'm so proud of you all. Keep doing what you do. If you guys make it to Cincy, Jackie, please let me treat you to a few Cincinnati conies. Oh, okay.

I mean, Hultonators. Oh, sincerely. Sonia. Yes. Sonia. That's good. P.S. Just to say true to the last podcast, Pran, and the theme of this letter, Hail Satan. What do you guys think? All right. So are we trying to figure out whether Goop is a Satanist or whether the devil is using Goop as his tool? As a conduit. Yeah. I think it's the latter. Yeah. I think maybe Satan gives her her powers. I don't think you become like a life. Like Megamarkal's absolutely in league with Satan right now.

She is fully dark-sighted, working. That's the only way you get to be on that level. You know what I mean? That's why, you know, Martha Stewart, you know, you work with the devil. You might go to jail. Karma's a bitch.

She should have fucking known better, bro. You know? Do we think that Goop knows? Because we all saw her hot ones, and she really was not affected by that hot sauce in a human way. That is totally. devil was living inside of her. It's possible.

That is very compelling. That actually would go on the list of compelling evidence, right? She's not affected it any way by the devil's heat. You know what I mean? Yeah. I, yeah. I mean, I believe that she is a gatekeeper, but not in an influencer way

in a devil's playground way. I think she has the key. I think she can open the gate at any time and poke her little nose in and somehow get some life juice synergy that keeps her going in the world as, you know, because it seems like no one actually wants her to be where she's at. It seems like no one wants her products. And yet, she's insanely successful. You know what you mean? The work of demons. I mean, enough people must

want her products. That's why I wonder if she's like maybe inviting in what she thinks is like a mama gaia. But in reality is some sort of like insidious, you know, uh, smoking. that is going to like fill her up with hate. And maybe that's really what's happening. I don't think she's cool enough to be like purposefully in league with the devil. No. I think the devil could use her as a tool. Yeah.

Without her real. I feel like maybe Jojo is like a minion or something, you know, like scent about. Like she needs to learn a lot more about what is it. What are they? What are the minions love? Bananas. All right. If she starts talking like if it's so Joe's see me going,

I mean, banana! We're halfway there. I think we're halfway there with the way she talks already. I know. Yeah, I think she's already devolving straight to. Does she smoke? Where does that voice come from?

Why does she have that voice? No, it's just her voice. You know, that's just her. Which, I mean, again, I'm here for a raspy voice, bitch. I love it. But she really, I need to be having my tongue hanging out more. And I think that that's what I'm missing. my life. I love how like a decade ago

Miley Cyrus was like, I'm a bad girl now, but truly, here's me smoking mad blunts in a music video. Jojo Siwa in 2024's, I'm a bad girl now. Here's me drinking alcohol legally because I just turned 21 at

Disney of all places. It's so, like, I'm just so, can I just be her PR like, I would just, like, let me be her bad girl. That's what she needs. Let me be her bad girl coach. I'm like, bro.

You think a Holden, wait a second. Frozen sexually, Holden McNeer is going to teach Jojo Siwa how to be a bad girl. Okay, but have I seen Saltburn? Yes, I have. Okay, so I've taken some notes, all right? You're going to take her how to be barry cute? Yeah, I'm going to make her drink cum off of a shower job. I'm going to do stuff like that.

Not make her, you know, I'm not going to force anyone do it. Look, I don't want to get beat up, so I'm not going to force her to eat cum. I'm just saying. Holden, Garba's a bitch, and you should. know better, okay? I'm just saying, like, maybe she could drink the gum out of the drain, and then people would be like, well, or like, hey, you don't even have to take a bump of cocaine,

but there's ways to make it look like you're taking bumps of cocaine. Can you just, like, can we try, like, can we try something? If she starts lying about it, can you imagine her, like, going down and be like, oh, wow, that's crazy. It is inside of my nose. Just pretending like she's doing it. By the way, shoutouts to the Dublin, New York City portal that they had to shut.

down because of for several reasons, but my favorite video is the guy in Dublin just slam and bumps a cocaine right in front of the portal, like taunting the people on the other side of the camera. And then, of course, the influencer in New York City who showed her tits a whole bunch. It is so funny. All right, so there was a portal. Yeah, everybody kept moaning the portal. Yeah, so there was a portal. It was like this giant portal thing, this giant screen that had a camera on each end that

gave a direct feed of Dublin. Oh, yes. In New York. It got shut down in like four days. I don't think you could have picked a worse two cities to do that with except for, you know, like, Dublin and New York City has got to be the craziest batchet.

Like, you got to do it somewhere quaint and like sweet in order for it to not be a complete shit so they're just doing cocaine, they're just showing asses that is. Hell yeah. It's so funny. And yeah, got shut down so quickly. And now there's just like a, have you seen it, MJ?

There's just like a gate. Like, it's just so sad. It's like, it's just shut down and there's just like police barricades. Yeah, no, it's a real like, this is why we can't have nice things situation. Yeah, it's like the robot that got destroyed in Philadelphia, the hitchhiking robot that was supposed to like hitchhike across the country. It made it, it made it all over the place. And then it finally got to Philadelphia. And they just completely destroyed it immediately.

I love America. Yeah, well, if it's a robot, I say destroy the robots. The portal, I wish we could leave up the portal, but I say let the people show their asses. Yeah, and do cocaine, dude, and all that stuff. So funny, man. Anyways, yeah, there you go, this is a conspiracy. I guess we all semi-believed, so I guess it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list?

May! Jackie, you gotta have that list. Awful knockoffs and reboots, we wish we would have caught and killed by a scheming CEO. Now, of course, this sucked me in just because I've been living in monkey territory in my brain. 1976's ape. Ape was such a copy of the 1976 King Kong that after a lawsuit, it had to literally warn, quote, not to be confused with King Kong on its poster. Anyway, the costume for South Korean King Kong looks hilarious and we would respect this movie if it had gone with one of its later titles, attack of the giant horny gorilla.

Love it. I would watch that in a heartbeat. Please give it. I want to see Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla. Monkeys fuck, man. And we don't get enough of that in these monkey movies at all. Okay? And I don't want to see it, you know,

obviously I don't want to see the tiny human woman getting sexed by the monkey, but a giant lizard maybe with laser powers out of his mouth getting absolutely horned up by another giant monkey. It would be, I'd pay for it. Godzilla. I'll watch it. Godzilla X. Kong, something like that.

You also could watch Playmate of the Apes, which was definitely a movie I used to watch on Skinimax all the time. Gave me a lot of feelings that I didn't know that I probably shouldn't have had so young. Anyway, do you remember the movie Mac and Me from 1988? This movie terrified me when I was a kid. Now, it was an E.T. knockoff, but I don't know if you remember, and also, if you don't remember Mac and Me, look it up, and I think you will immediately remember this creature that there was something, I think it was ears, it was way its mouth moved that really scared me. The horrible creature design, the clunky FX, the shameless McDonald's scene, the general cheapness. Everything stabs you in the eye up to it, including the nightmare fueling final scene. Do you do you remember the movie Mac and Me? I mean, yeah, I mean, it's come back into popularity because, oh, what's his name? He'd always go on Conan and show the same Mac and Me clip.

Oh, is that? Oh, Paul Rudd. Yes. That's from this movie? That's from Maconby. The wheelchair kid and everything. Yeah, yeah. And it was a McDonald-sponsored E.T. rip-off, completely a product of the 80s or early 90s. I don't know exactly what it came out, but it is one of those, like, worst movies ever.

And if you have not seen this clip compilation, Paul Rudd literally goes on Conan every single time and somehow manages to reconvince him that he's not going to show that exact scene for Mac and me of the kid in the wheelchair like going down this mountain and the funniest one is

more recently he did Coder O'Brien's podcast and of course Conan O'Brien in him not in a million years would think he's going to play just the audio from that you know what I mean and he completely just gets him a final time and it's so funny He's just like, this is a fucking podcast.

What are you talking about? It's so funny. Can I just say that I think that I felt I'm like currently falling in love with Paul Rudd over and over and over again. Like I feel like I was in love with him in Clueless era. And then he definitely for me just in the terms of what I liked, kind of move to the background of what I was looking for sexually in someone. But I recently watched him. We sat and watched a bunch of hot ones recently. And Paul Rudd and Hot Ones and just the way he talks.

about how, which I never really knew before that like, he's like, I don't know how I got to be famous and I can't believe every single day that like, this is my life. And he's just like, he comes at life from such that perspective that I was like, oh my God, am I falling in love with Paul Rudd over and over again? Oh, yeah. My flame for him has never gone out. And honestly, this Conan thing is great, because I hear what you're saying, Jackie. I think that what you're saying is he's a bit of a good boy, right? He's a bit of a, right? He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, little bit of a boy next door. Yes.

And he has an age. He's not rugged, right? He's just like a really smooth, nice guy who looks the same now as he didn't clueless. And that does do it for either something. That's not usually my type either, but there's something about him. Just Josh, he'll just always, you know, it'll always do it for me. Oh, yeah. But then seeing the Conan bit, like I actually didn't realize how funny he is.

And that made me fall for him even harder. So, yeah, I'm absolutely here for the Paul Reta-Sum. And he's just like a nice. positive person too. I haven't seen a bad thing about the guy and I saw him on when I went to go see Oh Hello on Broadway and oh hello

which is the John Malaney Nick Kroll show where they're two old men and they always bring out a celebrity guest and Paul Rudd was my celebrity guest that night and just like he was so excited to be like down with the bit so excited to like completely lean in and be a part of it and it's just

I don't know, seeing someone who's so down to clown at that level of celebrity dumb is, I think, a really beautiful thing. Hell yeah. Sorry, I'll back to the list. The Amazing Bulk! From 2012, I do not remember the movie The Amazing Bulk, which, yes, is supposed to be like a sequel of the Hulk, but he's purple, and there's something that have to do with the Berdemic as a part of it.

Have you heard of The Amazing Bulk? I've heard of Berdemic, which is classic. one of the best, like, so bad it's good movies that people, you know, up there with like troll two and all that kind of stuff. But no. And up there with gooies. And up there with gooies. That was actually filmed at the same time as Gremlins.

But the latter's success meant the Gullies franchise could embrace being a derivative second rate knockoff. I love the movie Goolies. But I also love the movie Gremlins in very different way. Is Gullies also trying to, does Gullies go for comedy? comedy as well, or is it more straight up? I need a while. I need a real while. I remember that for some, I'm pretty sure that was one of the VHS covers at the blockbuster that made me upset and scared, right?

Yes. If you dared to walk through the horror section, you know, that was one of the ones that like, frightened me just in store back before I became a horror fan. But yeah, yeah, I need to, maybe I need to go give goosies a revisit this. I should, I want to, I should need to watch more horror movies in October is maybe what I'm saying. Maybe I need to make a list. Make a list. Start working on it. I'll do like a 15 for 31. That's what we do. Something that's more

attainable. Do you really do 15? Yeah. Yeah, you do 15. Do you really set a number, MJ? We don't set a number, but we watch a horror movie every night, but we know that it will take at least two days to get through one. And I think it's perfect for 31 for 31. I think maybe is our opportunity to finally sit down and watch that J-Lo documentary. That's right. Gross mode.

Let's go, dude. Oh, my God. No, we're having an emergency watch session like this week. Jackie almost delayed us recording this episode this week so that we could watch that damn documentary. I cannot believe we watched the music video experience instead of the documentary. We didn't get to see sad flak being like, you're going to read my love letters. Don't read my love letters. I know.

That's so sad. Can you imagine how sad? he was knowing that this is happening and he can't do anything about it. I can imagine his, I can imagine him standing outside with a cigarette holding the thing of Duncan being sad about it. I didn't go into a dunkies and asked if they were flying the flags half mass. And I was sad that they weren't. Yeah, I feel like that was like, you know the movie, Mother?

You know how it has that quality? I bet that from his perspective, it felt like that movie. You know what I mean? It just, it just, he's no control. There's just people, swarms of people. entering the house and, you know, all of a sudden it's like, yeah, yeah, it's now it's $20 million. I don't know, it went from like $1 million to like $20 million.

What do you mean you're spending $20 million on it? To tell my- Don't worry, baby. Think of all the money I save, not drinking coffee or boo. What is that trash bag full of? Plates and linens. You know me. I can't reuse them once.

I have to throw them away. Throw them away immediately. But last but not least on the list, the absent-minded professor, 1961. This list is claiming that it was actually a prequel to the movie Flubber, where Philip Brainer, because in the absent-minded professor, it was Ned Brainerd who discovered a rubbery substance with unusual physical properties, and in Flubber, it was Philip Raynard who discovered a sentient goo that does comical stuff

like foaming shapes and dancing, and he also has a robot who is in love with him. So I guess these are two movies that are connected. that you never would have guessed were connected. I don't think I'll ever watch the movie Flubber again, but I was very into Flubber when I was just thinking. Yeah, I think I got a show Lover. To the kids, yeah. I was just aging out.

It was definitely like just one of those just a couple years difference and we missed it. You know what I mean? Missed out of it. I was a Jumanji guy. Yeah. Oh, yes. Big Jumonji guy.

But I guess it's time for the blind items. Yeah, that's right. I think I'm going. Blind. items. Oh, we can't see them. If you listen to this former franchise movie actress, which she had when she was much younger, and who had a career resurgence over the past year or two, tell it, she and the former A-plus list mostly movie actor were going to get married in Vegas,

but the line to get the marriage license was too long. Then the next day, he broke it off with her. Damn. So let me break it down. So this is a weird, weird coupling. I didn't even know these two canoodled much. almost got married. So the franchise person,

she was in a big horror franchise when we were young. Nev Campbell. Yes, good call. The second one is so odd. He is, oh, you know what is interesting about him? He fucking uses a coffee in a ma'am to you.

John Cusack. In the shower on movie set trailer. Yeah, dude, John Poussack and Nev Campbell almost got fucking knotted up, dude. Wow. I mean, according to this blind, isn't that crazy, though? Think of how much, man, her feet would just be covered in his shit in the shower every day. Right. Blamed the line at the wedding chapel, but probably she had seen what he did in the hotel bathroom before they got there.

And she was like, you know what, this line is too long. Yeah, totally, totally dodged the bullet. Do it. Absolutely. People left the foreign-born former A-list rappers' concert in droves when it got to the three-hour late point and there was no sign she was going to show up. Yes, this is me in my continuous campaign to shame extremely late arrival performers. She is a rapper.

She's a big rapper. Oh, Nikki Minaj. Yeah. How'd you know so quickly? Because I saw the TikToks that people were posting of like people so pissed. Yeah. from the audience for how much people paid. And she just wasn't hitting the stage.

And it was all over the place. Craziness. I'll never understand. Don't you also, Nikki, don't you want to be done? Yeah. Don't you want to be done? So you can go hang out? Honestly, a friend hit me up yesterday and I was so excited because she's like,

hey, my like hardcore band is performing on a Sunday in a couple of weeks. And then she said the show was at 6 p.m. And I was like, bitch, I'm there. That's an L.A. special right there. I love that. 6 p.m. Yes. All right.

What should I end with? You know what? Because whatever. The only time this A-list singer slash actress, big air quotes for A-list by, no, everybody loves her or whatever, but I think she's an idiot.

It's nice to, the only time she's nice to her boyfriend is when it is for the cameras. The only time she's nice, SpongeBob. Yeah, you lout. You absolute. What is going?

And just because the album's good too, okay, fine, I'll admit it. Her new album's good, okay? But you know what? Take, you know what I mean? The worst love story ever. Scolding by me. Yeah, good one.

Yeah. SpongeBob. And I will be seeing Wicked, and I'm not happy about it. I'm not happy about how fucking much I'm going to see Wicked. In the theater. I'm going to see it in the theater. I'm so excited for Wicked. You, no matter what I feel.

Graffiti. No matter what you feel about Ariana, we're going to see wicked. And you know we're going to end up loving it. Oh, yeah. Well, we're going to be drunk. So we'll love anything. It could literally be a stick figure dancing for 30 minutes. So we'd be like, that's the greatest thing.

Oh, my gosh. Jackie jerked herself off to sleep. We got to get out of yours. I'm going to add to love lies. Sleeping, bitches. I think that, I think that we should, definitely probably go see like an 11 p.m. If they've got one of Wicked so that we can be as drunk

so that we can also sing. Because I remember seeing Lay Miz in the movie theater with our buddy Kep on New Year's Day and we got hammered at like noon and we sang through the entire movie but there was no one else in the movie. Yeah, more like lay jizz. Get fucking wrecked Garso or whatever your dumb name is in the movie. Did it lay jizz?

No, that's half the number. 69 420. You don't know the numbers. That's not his numbers. Dude, numbers are dumb as hell, dude. They were the only thing that identified him. He was those numbers. There is a six in it, though, so you could totally go,

2, 4, 69. Yes. Yeah, dude. That's what I'm talking about. No, he's stuck on the candlesticks that he steals from the church. He's going to, you like that priest? And the priest's like, Come as a bitch,

I should have known better. This fucking head explodes because we're in fucking interview the vampire all of a sudden. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. That's the way to end an episode.

I can see again. Thanks everybody for joy. Thumbs down for M.J. Whoa, Zoom just gave us a algorithm holding a thumbs down. Is it thumbs downing me or holding? I don't know. Is it a voice thing?

So anyways, that didn't happen for the whole rest of the episode until just... us now. Wow. Look, I'm even giving a thumbs down and it's not giving the thumbs down. There it goes. It must, I'm going to just assume that it's, it's just weighing in. Yeah, it's reading my thoughts. And you were just like, fuck, this outro, this sucks. This outro blows. I was thinking, thumbs down, Holden, and then it did a thumbs down to Holden. I don't know how this happened. So anyways, for the plugs, just come out and see Lay Jiz, my dirty parody musical. No. No, you're not, there's no lay jes.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Thank you for being a part of this episode. My name is two for 69. Sucking on the dick, eating out the ass. That's what I like to fuck my snap. And come to hang out with us over on Wednesdays. Twitch.com. Oh, forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie where we play The Sims.

MJ and I have been having an absolute blast every Wednesday. there's always killing and there's always woo-hooing you gotta stop by we have a lot of fun I shot a load into my eye I'm right everybody

hey it's me Holden the little brother of the podcast join me Twitch.tv.4 slash Hold Nader's ho and fuck all that to well actually no yeah join me on Friday with Jackie 6 p.m. ET normally when we do that but more importantly, Patreon.com forward to slash page

seven podcast. The people have sang the songs of happy women and men and non-binary folk. They are loving the episodes we're doing, especially the Buffy Watch Long at the

$10 layer that we put out every single week. We are neck deep in season two. And so it's a good time to catch up on that. And our weekly, bonus episodes, we do the leftovers. We have plenty of articles to continue to talk about here on the show that Jackie sends

out and we'll be speaking towards them in the leftovers. And you can get that every single week. It's like page seven. It's like page seven plus. It's like a new game plus for the podcast every week. And we also have Talka TV, which Talka TV is now available on your Patreon feeds as well

for those that listen over on the Patreon. Yeah, also in the main feed, but I believe no commercials on any of that stuff in the Patreon, which is always a nice value at. Page 7 Podcast at gmail.com. Please keep sending in those conspiracies. Shoutouts again to Sonia.

That was a really, really good one this week. You are dark-sided. Thank you so much for that. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com. My name is MJ and I'm MJKLKT on Instagram. Have a great week, everybody. We'll be back next week. Bye.

You said week twice. Week, week. I've said it five times. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

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