Page 7 - Ep. 539: Rat Boy Summer

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

This week MJ, Holden and Jackie, who's comin in with that Mom Who Smoked Weed Energy are gossin' bout Chappell Roan, the name of the fat Chipmunk, Nicola Coughlan ab-so-lute-ly killin' it, and get your piece of cheese ready cause it's RAT BOY SUMMAH!!! Sabrina Carpenter is explodin' and beggin' Barry not to be a big ol' turd, JoJo Siwa continues to be a v v v bad gurl, but sparks a conversation about vulnerability in Pop music lyrics, no one feels bad for JLo as the downward spiral of her career continues, Julia Louis-Dreyfus replies to Jerry "Old Man Yells at Cloud" Seinfeld comments about comedy in 2024, Rob Schneider just keeps getting asked to stop attempting comedy on a stage, Nick Cannon partners with Dr. Squatch to insure a pair of cursed orbs, Mariah Carey continues to be a Queen Bitch, Holden issues a very important statement on his relation to animated women (apart from Jessica Rabbit), Piers Morgan throws himself into the Baby Reindeer saga with an interview with a woman claiming to be the real life Martha, Holden treads into the murky waters of a weird ass Taylor Swift subreddit and lives to tell the tale, and in Celeb Conspiracy Corner: Is Travis and Taylor's relationship a PR RELATIONSHIP!? and in The List - The 6 weirdest encounters celebs had with a pre-commander in chief Trump, blindz and SH-SH-SH-SHOUUUUUUUTZzZ Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

to our girl chapel. I was singing along to good luck babe the other day and Jeff did say that I sounded a little bit like I was running up the Thanksgiving. I was going to say Annie Linux but I was like no this isn't any Linux. Who is this guy? No, I am feeling

the bushabouts when it comes to good luck babe and yes that is our chapel. That is our amazing glorious chapel. Do I feel like a step-parent to chapel Rowan? The answer is yes. But am I the mom who stepped out or am I the mom that stepped up?

Yeah. You guys are the parents. It's me. You lifted her higher. Am I channeling Creed right now? I really feel like you guys... Oh my God, do you want me to... Can you take me higher?

You're really... Jackie, you're really the mom that smoked weed, and it's wonderful to see you. I'm smoking. Oh, make that sure. Yeah. I'm the mom that smoked. I'm the mom that toked up. I'm not a stepmom.

I'm the mom who toked up. Toked up. What? Why? What? You're just a stoner on the couch. Sounds like you're still a deadbeat. Whenever they ask for food, I just go, there's pizza pockets.

Come on, it's mine. Freezer, just get them out. I just feel like, you ate all of our Halloween candy. It's like, come, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah, they were fun size, and everyone knows I'm fun size, which means that I get the right to eat all fun size candy that I see. If I were you two, I would be constantly taking a victory lap about how you guys were really

pioneering Chapel Rowan before she was cool. I'm just saying we don't get to do a lot of things before they were cool here at page seven. We're usually behind. Right. You guys were ahead and I want you to just own that. Jackie got me on it actually too. I cannot take credit for the original Jackie is the truth. What's the fat chipmunks name?

What's the damn fat chipmunks name? Chubb. Theodore. Sorry. Henry and I used to have this picture that we would send back and forth to each other and It was of Theodore, and it just said, I'm not fat. I'm fun-sized. And I was trying to find the meme because that's what I was thinking of.

And while we're talking about Chapel, I wasn't there, I was just like, what is the name of the fat chipmunk? And then, of course, what I do, I looked up fat chipmunk, and it's just a bunch of pictures of fat chipmunks, which, very cute on most days. But right now, I needed information. Don't worry, little Timmy. You don't need a real chipmunk. Look, they're just mercilessly bullying you.

because you're fun-sized, okay? So it'll be, you know. I'm fun-sized. Thank you. Oh, thank you. But yes, we, yeah, you know, there are not many things. When you are 36 years old,

you can't do a lot of the like indie hipster. I knew that before anybody else did. And of course there were many people that loved Chapel before we did. But Pink Pony Club just sang to my spirit and I just waited and stared at Chapel Rowan as if she were a pot of boiling water of which I could put my spigots inside of. And I was just like, she is going to pop off. She is absolutely so insanely talented. And so for those of you that are

unaware, I know that we've talked about Chapel Rowan before, but over the weekend, she was performing at the governor's ball, which I think that all three of us have like such a beautiful attachment to the governor's ball in different ways, because it's this like, magic, festival that happens right outside of the, like, I guess it's not outside the city limits. It's just on that island right outside of the city. So you're like overlooking the entire skyline as you're at this like music festival. Yeah, it's awesome.

I saw some really good stuff. It's not Catalina. Where's my brain? What's the name of the island? Governor's Island. Is it Governor's Island? Yes. Yeah.

I don't think, even in my younger days, I don't think, I can't remember if I actually went to governor's, to the governor's ball or not. but it is like a thing that launches the summer here. It's like even if you don't go, you just are like, oh, my friends are all posting pictures of seeing Chapel Rhone this weekend.

Like that was what was happening this weekend. Just like, oh, everybody, it just like takes over. Everybody's there. Yes, exactly. Governor's Ball is actually in Flushing Meadows

Corona Park, by the way, not Governor's Island. Like shout out to Governor's Island, which absolutely rules. It's another. That's why I confused it to you. But it's another like islandy,

it's like you are transported to like a different place when you go. saw Florence in the machine there, among other. I saw a really good lineup year. It was awesome. But, yeah. Vince Staples. It's crazy.

I get that. That's where my confusion. I was like, but there's got to be one music festival, but there is a music festival on Governor's Island. Because I was like, I know I saw a music festival on Governor's Island. Yeah.

And there's also the Jazz Age lawn party. Yes. Beginning of every summer at Gunvers Island, which is another way to launch into the summer. I love it. I mean, special place by her because I was like Lexi and I's like first date we went to that and then we went to Coney Island and I performed at the freak tent and it was like this a magical amazing date day that

you could only have in New York City you know you went from the fanciest of fancies to like sweat and at Coney Island riding roller coasters man what a cool what a cool dad got to get it all in baby and that's all man guver's ball you just take the seven out there yeah oh my god when I lived off the seven I would have been the happiest I would have been like yeah it's my train It's my time to shine. There's also a period of time at the beginning of the summer where everybody in New York City is really ambitiously taking boats to all of the different islands.

Oh, yes. And when I broke my nose at the beach, I was at a beach called Fort Tilden, which you can access by land, but it's easier to access by sea. So I was in like a medical emergency and then I needed to take a boat to a hospital, which felt very Oregon Trail.

And it was like, you know. Were there a lot of boats going on there? Stop and shoot a bear and then get back on. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, I mean, I guess technically it were to be Oregon Trail. It was a ferry. That was why it was Oregon Trail, especially.

But also, we could have cocked the wagon and floated it across. You're right, Jackie. That would have been the most. Thank you. Another thing. Get a foster Australian for beer, please. Like the Staten Island Ferry. If you're going to do it like a ferry.

Another little tidbit that I wasn't fully clear on was clarified in this article. And that is Daniel Nygro and his involvement. because he is Olivia Rodriguez's right-hand man who whenever you see like behind the scenes footage of her like making the album it's her and that dude in a studio like and it's just the two of them making sour and making guts I'm sure there's more people involved but it really seems to be that is the deal and before Olivia Rodriguez blew up with the help with his help on the producer in he had already been working with chapel hell yeah discovered chapel she was discovered on YouTube and then she went out and she like got caught up in the machine. I'm not talking about Florence. The fact that she's a YouTube discovery is wild. A total bebes. That's really amazing.

But she put out like a fokey kind of, it almost sounds like Lana Del Reyish, like her initial effort. Her original album. And in general it sounded like she was trying to follow trends. And then she like... Still great though and it still speaks

to a different section of my heart. And her vocal range, like she sounds so good on it and she doesn't... She sounds different in a, you know. know, she just has so much, she has so much vocal range. It's really cool. But she moved back home after that, reset, connected with this guy. She's the Midwest Queen.

And tapped. I love it. I don't have the exact quote, so I'll butcher it. But she was like, I stopped trying to please the music industry and started trying to please the gaze. And that's when everything turned around for her. And that is a choice that has paid off. Yes, big time.

So it's cool. Like, this guy is on fire, too. Like this guy is making the best modern pop right now outside of Charlie. Shows Charlie X-E-X and Brat. I'm loving it. Yeah, I was going to say Charlie is also having a moment. You guys have also been long time Charlie X-EX. Oh, huge.

I can't wait to get Brett on final. I'm loving it. I'm like not even like a big dance hall guy, but like I just love her sound. I love whatever she does. It's fantastic. Everyone check out mean girls. And that's how you feel about Chapel.

Can Chapel showed up at the covers ball. dressed in drag as the statue of liberty, smoking a huge fatty. Are you kidding me? If that doesn't speak to my soul, I don't know what. And in terms of not wanting to please people, she opened, like, there's a shot of her looking at the camera being like, the White House asked me to come and sing at the White House. And perform for pride.

Perform for pride. And she was like, we believe in freedom and justice for everyone. And I am not coming until that's what, happening and sorry White House. And it's just like for a young, like it really reminds me of Nicola Coughlin too, just like for a young person to be really having their star

meteorically rising and to just being like, you know what? I am not going to do this because I actually don't believe in it. I'm going to say what I believe. And that turns out to be much more marketable than the people who are just trying to be, you know, to do whatever they think the industry wants them to do. Like I feel like that's the thing that's so cool about Chapel. She's just like, I am truly being myself.

I am being my own thing. There is no other thing like me. And that is the most desirable thing right now, you know? Totally. Yeah, and you brought up Nicola Coughlin. We were talking about Nicola Coughlin before the episode started recording. And Nicola Coughlin, for those not familiar, from Dairy Girls, also the lead in Bridgerton currently, and has done other things as well. And MJ and I are both huge stands.

And she's just been like killing it on the carpets. for Bridgetton. The second half of Bridgeton drops this week, and I'm so excited about it. And she also keeps making jokes because of course, the question, because she lives in a plus size body is like, how are you with all the sex scenes? And she's like, yes, it's difficult for someone like me, someone with perfect breasts, to be in these scenes sometimes. And it's just like, damn, bitch, yes. And like she's standing up for what she believes with Palestine. And she's just like killing it. And what I also love too is that even though they're creating this like romance mystique between her and the lead dude

like on all the red carpets. They're also openly being like, we're just like really good actors, by the way, guys. I just want everyone to know, we're just really good at doing this. And they are, man, that last scene in the last episode, I'm so excited for her to come back this week. Sorry, I didn't mean to shift right into that away from Chapel

because I'm still giving her laurels as well. I just feel like there are both, there are two people right now who are just like, I am not trying to be this like perfect branded product. I am being exactly who I am. And I feel like maybe it's just because we've been watching so much reality lately that it is so refreshing to see somebody who is just like I am not in any way trying to change myself, change my beliefs, change my values. And I am mediocrically famous right now. Like I really feel like we, it is it is what we need. And I'm sorry not to swing too wildly around all of the things that we want to talk about, but also Ireland is having a moment right now because Barry Kiyugin and Sabrina Carpenter's video.

Don't even, dude. Don't even, bro. Irish people are fantastic. And I want to put Barry Kuygan in that category. Man. And also, are you seeing all the Rat Boy Summers that are going around? That we have hit our Rat Boy Summer that we've got, you know, we've got. The shark face or whatever his name is, Glenn Powell.

We've got the Barry Keogans. You know, it's like, it's been smattered about the town. I think that I also saw, not Tom Hiddleston. What's the one that's dating Zendaya? Tom Holland. Tom Holland. And like, butch, they incorporated him in the Rat Boy Summer. And I was like, I don't know.

Does he have weasel face? No, but I would. Not as much as Barry. The thing that Barry and Tom have in common, I saw a tweet that said, Barry Cugan graduated from the Tom Holland School of loving his girlfriend, you know, because I feel like Tom Holland is just like, I'm just a guy who loves my hot girlfriend. And now Barry Cuyogen, having made this music video with Sabrina Carpenter, is in the school of, I am just a guy who loves my hot girlfriend. I realize we are fully and officially in the era of pop that like, where it's all about like,

here's my diary, here's like exactly what's going on in my life. I'm going to literally put my boyfriend in the music video about how I would be, how I need you to never fuck up and embarrass me, even though, like, I know I'm dating like a bad boy. You've got tortured poets department, where it's literally tattooed golden retriever and all this kind of shit. And we know exactly who everyone's talking about.

It's like, I don't know what that we're going to call this era, but that is the era we're in. And I'm fucking absolutely here for it. You know, gut, sour, you know, to bring Olivia Rodrigo back in. I'm here for. I say it's our spaghetti era. I'm slurping it up. Give it on over.

Get me that slurp. Because for those of you, just for the frame of reference, for those of you that don't remember who Sabrina Carpenter is, she's another young pop star that came out alongside Olivia Rodriguez. And the big thing with her in our origin story is that she was the one that pulled Olivia Rodriguez's boyfriend away from her. And that created Olivia Rodriguez's first icon. album. And what did Sabrina Carpenter do in that time period also created this huge album that

was just like, hey, I, like, he was bad. We, like, we should rise up. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. But also, like, I made a bad decision, but I'm also really good at this. And so I'm hoping we're going to see them come back together someday, I imagine. If they did a co-headlining tour, the fucking world would explode. I'd like it. I would be there. I would be there. I'm I would pay anything to be there. I highly doubt it'll happen, but they would crush, like, an arena tour, like, if they did that. Also, also, though, make way, because honestly, we're only going to get this for a little bit. But also, by the way, Sabrina Carpenter is also, like, exploding right now, just for those of you that are unaware of the pop scene.

But I will say vulnerability pop is going to be ending soon to usher in, of course, JoJo see what, bringing us gay pop, finally. Finally, you know what? It's like, it's not, where's all the queer? I'm just like, thank you Jojo. Jojo is here to save us all. Or should I see Tito, Jojo Tito. Whoa, Jojo Tito. Yeah, well, you know, Jojo, I don't know if you know this about her, but she's a bad girl.

She's a bad girl. And sometimes the bad girl, yeah, she tugs out of a mid-level vodka bottle. On stage. Listen, we have all been 21 before. This is the thing. I cannot hold it against her. She's acting like a classically annoying 21-year-old. Hello, Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you.

See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air friar in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the brighter side podcast is for you. Oh, yeah! Each week we take nasty, dukey, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, do-do factory.

Boo. Caca-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? At least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. But I will say like everything she does is so unoriginal.

Like, like, Lizzo was on stage chugging tequila four years ago. And we were like, whoa. But also, that's been happening. It's just vodka. Right. Also, it makes it, in my brain, I was like, it is the most 21-year-old thing as well to be like, I'm going to chug this real warm vodka. That'll show them.

Dude, come on, do some poppers, bro. We got to see more out of this bad girl phase. This bad girl phase is so disappointing. We got it. You got to up the ante. Miley Cyrus again was smoking fat blunts like a decade ago. You got to do harder drug. Ketamine.

Let's do some ketamine. Let's do some, you know, mushroom chocolates. Something. But part of being a new bad girl when you used to be a good girl is that you do a thing. The bad girls do. You think that it's the baddest thing. I got a hand to the Tito. So, like, I, again, maybe it's because I was a good for so long.

And then when I got bad, I was the annoyingly bad of like, ooh, I want to drink a handle of raspberry smeared off. Oh, yeah. And we'll keep bringing it up because right now, the only two people we can completely without consequence shit on are Jojo and J-Lo. So let's talk about it, all right? I do want to know that, like, last Friday, we asked our. chat on Jackin. I was like, okay, guys, I'm starting to feel a little bad about making fun of J-Lo because

like she is a human being. And we asked chat, do we feel, do we feel like a J-ya or do we feel a J-No? And babies, we got, I think, almost 100% J-No. Like no feeling bad for her. Nobody feels bad. And that was just, oh, just a snippet of asking people. And, but like, then I see all the headlines. And it's like they're selling, they're selling their home. And yes, that is very sad for them. Maybe they just want to be houseless. Maybe they just want to be houseless and in love.

Did we ever think about that? I mean, also they have multiple homes each. Yeah. So they're selling one of their $60 million homes, they fine. Probably just to make jokes about them. Probably just to help make up for the gigantic loss that has been, This is Me Now, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, a love story, Colin. This is me.

Dot, dot, dot, dot now. Yeah. Yeah, awful. Just everything about it. You just want to be like, can I be on your team? Can you, no, no, no, actually, I'm not going to be on your team, but I will. I'll take millions of dollars to be in your team. But you need someone on your team that is going to say the word no to you, and you will hear

and not fire them. And you know what I mean? It just everything about the whole thing just screams that she just has no one in the room with her going, you know what? Maybe the dot dot dot is stupid and bad. I do wonder, now that I'm thinking about it,

I wonder what J-Lo feels about, like you were talking about this slurpy spaghetti pop music, right? Yeah. You look at a Sabrina Carpenter, which we didn't even end up getting to talk about the music video, because the music video that Sabrina Carpenter put out for Please, Please, Please, which is a great song. It stars Barry Keogin in it, but what do we know about Barry Keogan is that everybody knows he's a very, very good actor, A, and B, that he is, he keeps getting into fights. He's everything Jojo wishes Jojo could be. He is a bad boy. Yes, he is an actual bad boy. And the song and the music video is essentially Sabrina Carpenter being like, hey everybody, I know.

he's bad. I am aware of the fact that he has issues. I've got issues too, but also, motherfucker, you better not disappoint me and actually embarrass me. So it's like she's accepting and this diary song is saying, I know what I'm into guys. You can stop trying to protect me. I know what I'm choosing. And hopefully he doesn't shatter me into a million pieces. But J. Lo is like, But guys, I read all of my love letters to you without his permission. Like, I'm giving you what these youths are giving you. I'm giving you every bit of my essence. But it's in such a different way that, like, I feel like J-Lo was so clawed after and sought

after without her permission that now that, like, she's trying to be that, it's not working. And I wonder where like where she falls in that. You know what I mean? Like her brain. Yeah, that is interesting. It's because

Jackie, she is so disconnected from reality. Of course. And we get this from the reports of the staff and like the people that she doesn't look in the eyes up. Yeah, exactly. She's like, that's why I wonder how Ellen's going to do

with her stay i'm very interested in her stand-up special thank god everyone ellen's making her comeback oh thank god she but this is the deal right now she has an opportunity to own some stuff and it could be a really fascinating stand-up special and she's a good stand-up she no matter what you can say about her she is a fantastic stand-up and if she actually manages to like bring a special that is super fucking honest and raw and like it could be really interesting but this is the problem like it's so hard

these people live in such crazy like glass castles literally their entire house is made out of glass as evidence by the J-Lo movie when she's I live for SJM I live for SJM you say glass I say thrown of okay you have to say it glass

glass throw it glass I don't know what I said thrown up for glass thank you So anyways, like that's the funny thing is that we're, it's actually really fun to get. It's like, yes, the new wave and pop is to like really expose yourself and talk about your real life and not just make songs about like, I'm a fun time man and my name is Dan. You know, that's done. None of that. Yeah.

We don't want to see. That's interesting. It's like a, you're, you're talking about a generational shift where the Olivia's and Tay is even. even though she's been around longer and the Sabrina Carpenters are being much more honest with what they're actually what their songs are about

whereas with J-Lo it was like I'm sorry I always bring up the LL Cool J, oh my love is all I have It wasn't so neat I'm what you had I think it's a great song It is a great song But it means nothing

Hit me baby one more time technically kind of doesn't mean anything You know it's just it's a great pop song But it's like what is it trying to say What is she saying? Yeah. And it doesn't have to only do with youth

because I think that if you read, I think it has to do with one's ability to see which way the wind is blowing, right? And either, and again, I'm sorry, I'm bringing up everything that you're having a synthesis conversation. And I'm thinking about that. Julia Louis Dreyfus versus Jerry Seinfeld also, right?

They're the same age, same generation. One of them is aging into old man yelling at the sky, irrelevant obscurity. Jerry Seinfeld. Yes. And the other is like, because so we didn't, I don't think we ended up talking about it last week, but he did this interview on Barry Weiss's podcast, and there's many things to say about Barry Weiss, but one of them is that she's like a vehement transphobe.

And he was talking about how he misses dominant masculinity and that men should be men. And you're just like, what are you talking about? What year is this, bro? Come on. No one can make jokes anymore and PC culture is ruining comedy. The same thing that people have, by the way, because I started writing about it in 2010, people have literally been saying the same exact thing since 2010, which is 14 years ago now. And but then Julia Louis Dreyfus was asked about it.

And she was like, well, you could tell she was being careful. You could tell she didn't want to be like Jerry Seinfeld as being a fuck. But she's like, I think that. I love actually how she said it. And I'm just going to say it. Yeah. If you look back on comedy and drama both, let's say 30 years ago through the lens of today, you might find bits and pieces that don't age well.

And I think to have an antenna about sensitivities is not a. bad thing. It doesn't mean that all comedy goes out the window as a result. But to me, that like if people that push back on political correctness, she says, but to me, that's a red flag because it sometimes means something else. I believe

being aware of certain sensitivities is not a bad thing. I don't know how else to say it. But I actually think that like, you're right. She was stepping around a very uncomfortable situation, but I was, I'm proud of the fact that she was like, but I want everyone to know.

that I do not agree with Jerry Seinfeld. Right. And I agree with her saying, like, you tend to find the people who were overly concerned about cancel culture and that are obsessed with that kind of stuff. It tends to be a red flag that there's something like more insidious going on. That's my personal experience of what I've seen. The people are more focused on it. And also, and I've stated this before it, I'll say to a billion times the most annoying thing about

all this, the most annoying thing about the endless hours of comedian podcast where they talk about they can't say anything anymore is that literally no one gets canceled for something well yeah but what are you talking about no one gets canceled for something that they say they might lose some work they might that might happen something like that but at the end of the day you're never going to get like banished from society like fucking harvey Weinstein you get canceled for things that you do and even then a lot of people get away with a lot of shit you know and still are have have done bad things and still are successful years later, you know, and rebuilt and whatever, right? So it's just like the whole thing where it's like, I think they try to equate it to like McCarthyism.

Absolutely. 100%. Yes. Yeah. That was genuinely a scary time where people were getting blacklisted from Hollywood and over some dumb shit and like it was a hundred percent. They all think that they are the new victims of McCarthyism. Which is funny because that was the state that was like censoring people.

That wasn't just people being like, can you stop being raised? And that is like the fundamental difference here. And it is a different thing. Obviously, like talking about comedy and, and, and, you know, Julie Louis Dreyfuss and Seinfeld is different than talking about what's going on with music. But I do think that it's like, as we on this show talk about being, you know, millennials and not being the youngest cohort anymore, I feel like the lesson is that you can either just cling to what worked 20 years ago. And then when it stops working, be mad at every. that it's not working anymore, which I think is what Jay-Lo is doing, right? Or you can be like, things do change. And I was at the top of my game 20 years ago, and maybe I'm not now. And either I just like ride that or I try to figure out where things are. But yelling about how it used to be better 20 years ago, historically not working well for anybody. Yeah, I had an epiphany, you know, that it's funny to say this on a podcast.

So I feel like there has been a negative effect of the podcast like structure, especially though. I'm talking more like the comedians just, we're going to just sit and bullshit into a mic for three hours. And the side effect is that like they need stuff to talk about so things get overly focused on and analyze. So therefore cancel culture and I can't say anything anymore. And I'm a modern day philosopher, that thing gets just beaten to death. in conversation after conversation after conversation. And they always make the joke like, oh my God, did I just get canceled, like about some innocuous shit they said to a microphone.

And they're like, can I even say that anymore? And it's like, yeah, you really can. You fucking weirdo. You could absolutely say that. And then on top or vaccination. But I'm also completely allowed to judge you and dislike you because of what you say. Vaccinations and all this kind of stuff. You know what I mean?

It's just, yeah. Yeah, say what you're going to say. just get fucking booed off the stage like Rob Schneider recently did at a fucking Hollywood, like an LA hospital event. And then all the interviews of him right afterwards and he's just like, hey, say that you can't say that you can't. If you are saying the phrase can't say anything anymore.

Yes. Really think about yourself in your action. You get to go, right? Go get some calcium pills to start doing like a low impact workout. Yeah, something, bro. I don't know. It's the beauty of, it's the great equalized. Go up there, say your dumb shit.

I mean, A, know your audience. So if you're in LA and you're at a fundraiser for a hospital, chance odds are unless you have some really funny takes on being anti-LGBQ plus. They have to be so bulletproof hilarious. They literally have to be the greatest comedy bits ever written to get it over. You know what I mean? Like, I don't even know. You know, it hasn't been done yet, but maybe Rob Schneider can do it.

Yeah. You know what I mean? They go up there and try it and get fucking boot off the stage. And yeah, they probably will afterwards be like, we're so sorry about that that we booked that guy because like fuck that guy. You know what I mean? And everyone's allowed to do that, you know, and write better material. Yeah.

It's just ridiculous. There's lots of things that people are allowed to do for some reason. Like Nick Cannon, just man, he can have as many children as he can produce. He also can ensure his balls. for $10 million. This is the most, I don't know how to describe it. I want to say it's toxic masculinity, but this is the most, like,

dumb guy thing I've ever seen that to hold his stupid balls up on a pedestal like he's doing with ensuring. He's holding his balls up on a pedestal. It's your dumb, stupid balls, bro. They're idiotic balls. Anyone can do what you're doing unless, if they're not impotent.

Just like, I don't know what, like, I should win an award for impregnating six women with 12 kids. That's so fucking stupid. Oh, also I love that article too that he's like, oh, I'm wound up now. It's the hot seat, baby. Woo! Oh, no, no, he's all wound up. What do we do?

Also, I will say it is a, I'm assuming it's a joke for Dr. Squatch because he's working with Dr. Squatch, the ultimate ball care bundle. So of course. But please, I mean, you're welcome to scream about what he is choosing to do with his time. Totally. I love to. He's just like, yeah, I'm thinking about having another one. You know, because 13's a lucky number.

And I just love the idea of like, hey, kid, you exist because Nick Cannon feels like 13's a good, lucky number. And that's got to catch them all. Isn't 13 a famously unlucky number? It's kind of come back around. It's Taylor Swift's favorite number and her lucky number. It's sort of like come back around to being like actually lucky now. And she's a star, but she cries, cries, cries.

Whoa, that's a, yeah, I mean, that's a Brit. That's a bread. There was one of the first songs. If you would like to, if I could give, you know, teach a lecture at NYU about the history, you know, the evolution of pop music, I do think lucky it could be a good one to point to to say this is when it started to shift into like a sour or something like that. More personal. Yeah, more personal.

Interesting. And feeling it, man. Because, I mean, she's so lucky, but she's a star. But she's always crying. Caught in a cave, birds in a cage. And then she's dance with blades. Yeah. Dude.

I feel so bad for her man. And her foot and everything. I just wish she returned to the blade. I think she had something with the blade, man. I think she saw something with the blade. And I would just say if I were her, you know, weirdo guy that's just completely using her for money, you know, I would be like, pick those fucking blades back up, girl, because you had something there.

That was the- There's that period of time before a celebrity goes fully into, okay, we need to not stop making fun of this person territory when they start making choices like blade dancing. And you're like, but everything else seems fine. You're all right. Okay, I think that we can enjoy the blade dancing. And now Britney Spears has gone back into, okay, we're going to stop. We're not sure what's going on.

We're going to give you space. and right, I think we all long for the blade dancing and I think that honestly J-Lo right now is in her blade dancing era in terms of like you know, you are making maybe just maybe making the documentary

was her blade dancing. I think that was the end of it for her. No, I wanted to break out of her shell I think she's got a very hard she's like an M&M she's got this like shell that's around her. You should take off her heels

and put her in sneakers so no one wants to fuck her anymore. And let her hair down and be that girl from the Bronx. again that just was a wild girl that just ran around the Bronx, that wild. She's dreading from the block, damn it. But like, I do think that if she, like, if she would just, I don't know what she needs to do, she needs to cut this regimen out.

She needs to stop living like a robot person in terms of her like schedule. Yeah, have a coffee. Just have a, start with a coffee. Start with a coffee. That's what we're asking. But given a shot. On Instagram, somebody sent me a clip from a long time ago, I think, at least a decade or two ago of Mariah's

Mariah talking about her schedule and Mariah said she only sleeps three hours a night to which J. Lo had responded that she sleeps eight to nine hours a night to which Mariah responded well if I didn't need to do my own vocals I could do that too. What?

Fuck yeah Mariah. Let's go. Let's fucking go. Mariah Carey forever and ever. My favorite bitch just I was listening to Rainbow the other day, which give it a listen. If you haven't listened to Mariah Carey's Rainbow in a minute. And I forget that she does a version of Phil Collins against all odds on it.

And I was just like, why does she? And then it'll listen to it again. And you know, I'm a Collinser over here. I'm a big old Phil Collins bitch. You're a callhead. I'm a bit of a callhead. And that version, though, I forget how much I loved that version. and I think it's what made me want to be a bitchy ex. I think that that song gave me the first impetus to be like, what if all of your exes forever dislike you? And I'm like, maybe that should be me. It's great because when you meet someone who doesn't have a good relationship with any of their exes,

it is a red flag. You should be scared. Not Jackie. It works for Jackie. Yeah. It's just because I was in my, like, I was in my bitch era. Yeah. I just a bit of a tay, all right?

I'm out of my bitch era now. I'm in my glow up phase. So like everyone's got time to grow and change, all right? Just like, you know, Nick Cannon who's excited about Father's Day because it's an opportunity to connect and for his kids to give him gifts, which is what the quote was about. Father's Day. I think it's great because once a year, he just has to stand in one spot and then all the kids like a parade can come through like he's the buffet. and they just give him gifts. I'm sorry, I forgot your name.

I'm just silly. I'm just weird like that. Yeah, what'd you get me though? Come on, why'd you get me though? I'm just wild like that. Is it charcutory? I believe we named you? Oh, yeah.

I did go through all of the names of his kids and they're all adjectives. They're all like beautiful, powerful queen. And I try not to judge other parents, but it is hard to get through that list of baby names. It is hard. Yes.

Yes, yes, it's, it's, but that's a name. Powerful is a name, beautiful as a name, Messiah is a name, and it's just all, it's just, you know, listen, if you told me somebody named your three kids, beautiful, powerful, and Messiah, and that person was like, otherwise not a narcissist, I'd be like, right on, girl, choose those names. But the fact that this man is so obviously

has like a, like, DSM diagnostic level of self-obsession, Or maybe that's, maybe I shouldn't even bring the DSM into this. Maybe he's just, maybe it's not that. Maybe it's just his personality and he is just so self-obsessed. What is DSM dick suck machine? No. Obviously, yeah. The diagnostic and statistical manual.

It's how you die. It's like when you like diagnose people. I think MJ, he's playing the long game here. You can't name him Sarah. You're not going to remember Sarah on Father's Day. But will you remember fucking king lord? Yeah, you're. member a king of work. It's tricky because I feel like usually when someone's acting like an

asshole a lot of like people and disability advocates will be like don't like you don't accuse them of like having like you know a mental illness because like that's being an asshole and having a mental illness or a disability is not the same thing which is extremely true it's just that the reason I brought that up is because when you look at Nick Cannon you're like something is motivating you to like there is something different than most men is going on here right you got to really like yourself to want to spread your seat. I'm gonna go ahead and say, I agree with you, MJ.

You gotta really think you've got something special that other people don't have if you feel the need to do that. Yeah, there's just, there's something going on there. And also, I recently fell into a big TikTok hole with people who,

of people who have like the rarer and less talked about, like diagnosed personality disorders and they're talking about it. Warm time. Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's cool. What is the,

Hashtag. Is it like hashtag fucked up brain talk because I want to be a part of it. I fell into this. It's a person who is diagnosed with borderline personality and is dating. I follow a couple of people with borderline and a couple of people with DID because I'm so fascinated by it. And especially what's interesting is that their ability to talk about it and how it manifests. Yes. Because it's so, it is so usually used as like an insult. Well, you know what I would say to them? I would say you can't say anything anymore.

So why bother? You can't say anything. We can't even talk about it. Shut that trap. And then the borderline person is dating somebody who's a diagnosed sociopath, and they talk about it. Wow. And they're like, this is what these diagnoses mean. You know, people use them colloquially, but this is what they actually mean, and this is how, like, they present challenges in our life.

That's fascinating. I would love to. See, that's why I always love, like, I love, like, psych docs and stuff like that, like, especially, like, docu series where they, like, show different. It's, like, I'm just so curious because, and not in, like, a gawking point at kind of way, just to, like, learn more about what your brain can do and how easily, like, the different facets of it could be, like, brought to the focus. Like, I feel like as you get older as someone with mental illness, like, you realize that, like, oh, not everyone sees the world with the skewed perspective that I see with,

whether that has to do with trauma, whether it has to do with experience. You know, it's like, there's lots of different things that, that obviously regulate that. But, oh, my God, I didn't even think about it. out like the world of like what TikTok opens up for people to give them a platform. But it's also scary because you have to remember that not every case of all of these things are the same. Right. Like, and so it's like it's, that's why it's also so fascinating because I imagine so many

of them present so differently. Yeah. And then you get people watching to, my problem is I'll watch TikTok and then I'll begin like my own self-reflective process and I'm like, am I going to diagnose myself based off of a TikTok video and that type of thing. Yeah, don't go diagnosing. You can't do that. Can't do that.

Can't be doing that. Can't do that. No, it's a good word time. You know, Holden's algorithm is all anime tits. And my algorithm is all... Not anime. Oh, just regular tits. Yeah, the eye it lingers.

It is all just, it is so sad. But I don't... My TikTok's nothing. I don't really go on there. But yeah, whenever I hit the search button on Instagram, it is just a ton of... ladies dancing or doing like, here's the new dress I made,

but really she's just very scantily, you know, here's me getting ready. You need more snack influencers in your life. I think that that's really what, yeah, I find out about every snack before it comes out. I think that would make me hangary or sick depending on the post. No, but then I go searching for them.

And so sometimes like if Jeff and I are out and I'll like see a snack that I knew was coming out. I'm like, oh my God, it's the dirt cake Oreos. You see, Jeff, because on the inside, it's like there's the worms on the inside, but they're just flex of worms. So it's like it's a dirt cup,

but it's an Oreo, Jeff. I just need people to know that besides Jessica Rabbit, I have never fantasized about making love to and fucking an animated woman, all right? Because I feel like I'm being... Never? You watch a lot of anime. Oh, I never.

I definitely have. I'm not horny for. I'm watching it for the compelling storylines, the emotional drama. You know what I mean? I don't watch that, you know. Anime is not just all tits and wet thighs, MJ. It's only 80% of it, MJ, please. Well, I got yelled at at our live show for calling Jackie a cartoon fucker, and apparently

that's not accurate either. Monster fucker, yeah. Monster fuck. Monster fuck. You're way off, MJ. You're just off. You're J-Lo right now. Both my co-hosts want to fuck cartoons.

It turns out only one of them does and only sometimes. You're totally out of the loop. You're the J-Lo. I'm bad girl, so I'll be Jojo. And Jackie is, I don't know, dead to us or whatever. I don't know. I'm J-Z.

If you're J-Lo, you're Jojo, I'm J-Z, you dumb. You're not a businessman. You're a business man. Yeah, thank you. One of us has to be the sad flag, doesn't, don't we? No one wants to be sad. He's off to this. That's all of our spouses combined.

They're crying off to the side. What do I deal with? But like if Jeff comes home with a huge Phoenix back deck too, I've got something to say about it. Hopefully it looks better than Ben's. That's all I'm going to say. Let's hope. And I know that we've got to get into our big,

meaty conspiracy theory. And I'm sure that we're going to talk about it more on the leftovers, but the fact that of course, this bitch that the real life Martha from baby reindeer is filing a $170 million dollar lawsuit against Netflix for her portrayal in the show and all I can hope and all I can

assume is that Netflix's contracts are so ironclad that she gets absolutely nothing. A completely sane amount of money to request in a lawsuit. Absolutely of this nature. Absolutely

a totally 170 million dollars. That anyone would think to obtain. Yeah. I just hope she gets nothing. I don't want her to get anything. It's so frustrating because, again, I feel like by Pierce Morgan doing that interview, maybe like, well, here's her side.

It's like, this isn't really like a both sides situation. There's just like, there's just evidence of like harassment and stalking. And then there's this person who's clear, like, who is in the process of saying I didn't do it whilst also continuing to harass and stalk. And all the articles are like, so well, let's see what happens. And what I would really love is, yes, I'm reporting about what did net, what I really want to know is like, how did Netflix protect Richard Gad? Did they protect Richard Gad to the extent of being like, okay, because surely if you're Richard Gad, you've been harassed by this woman for, you know, so long and you want to make this show. Presumably, when you are in making contracts with Netflix, you have some sort of legal plan for being like, if we call this a true story, is that true?

how protected are we? How protected are you? What happens if and when she comes after us? And that's what I really want to know. Because like, I really want to know what did Netflix just kind of hang Richard Gat out to absorb all of this or did they have a plan?

Because of course this was going to happen. If this stalker is still alive, she's going to keep doing this. If, you know, again, all this is assuming that, you know, not having seen the evidence myself, but there's no reason to assume that this evidence isn't there because he has all of it.

And so it's just... 41,000 emails. Right, it's all documented. And so I just want to know why, I just really want to know how Netflix wasn't ready for this. How did they plan for it? Did they plan that?

You know what I mean? I just want to know that piece because otherwise there's a huge disincentive for artists to, like, I don't know, maybe he shouldn't have said... or include any of their real life. That's why I'm assuming, because I know nothing about the law, I'm going to assume that they have lawed up out the yin-yang, right?

I'm assuming that too. I think that maybe the error was them saying, maybe you could try to nitpick the fact that it starts with this is a true story, right? Or nitpick, I think that the claim is that she was, you know, part of the claims is that she was so easy to identify and that it's impacted her life. So I do, I just, yeah, I just am wondering what, how he is protected or if it's just going to kind of fall on him. Because obviously Netflix will be fine, right?

Right. Oh, of course. I'm not worried about Netflix. I just, like, I'm worried about this dude. Yeah, me too. Like, it would, I can't stop thinking about it. Like, you have dealt with this person harassing you for decades. Baby reindeer shake to my heart.

brains. Yeah. Yeah. And now you make art about it. And I do think that Netflix, I don't know, I don't know what he could have done differently aside from make her a completely different character, which is a shame because she's such a compelling character as she is. But it does I understand why he didn't change a lot of it because she is a compelling character. Right. And maybe it'll come down to the fact that it starts with this is a true story or what. But I'm just really curious to see what can happen because there's not two sides to the issue. And yet, here we are with the losses. Yeah, we'll see.

I mean, one would hope it doesn't get messy or set some precedent for this kind of storytelling. But yeah, I'll be interested to see what happens for sure in this legal matter. But I have a different matter to discuss. I think it's been enough time. I think we've earned this. That's right. It's time, finally, for a Taylor Swift conspiracy theory.

Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Feels like we should be singing Tay. I know. Is Travis and Taylor's relationship a PR relationship? Now listen, this should feed everybody. We're talking about Taylor for the Swifties, but we're also talking about Taylor for the haters with this one.

You know what I mean? And man, by the way, I guess shoutouts to the Reddit, subreddit, Travis and Taylor, or are Taylor and Travis. I'm not sure which order it's in, but it's literally. a subreddit for Taylor hate and I coped through it yesterday and it was

very fun. The best part was they showed a video from when she was like really just starting out really young and she played it is like it's like a cringy song and she doesn't sing it well and you know it's about like complaining about some guy

and everybody is like, see she's a hack, she's terrible why do people like her and it's like she was 15 in this video and like Clearly just starting out and like, like, it was just hilarious. But if you want, if you want to soak in that Taye hate, they got places for you. There are spaces for you online.

This one comes in from Sarah, who writes, hello, MJ Holden and Jackie, long time listener, first time caller. As the leading pop culture podcast, I think it's time you address the hottest new conspiracy. Is Travis and Taylor's relationship, a PR relationship? Here it goes. the R. Travis and Taylor subreddit, there you go, is but blowing up with, and they're also hot in the case on the subreddit. Blowing up with evidence that this relationship

is not real, is strictly to advance their careers and make money. I attach the mod post that explains in detail why they think it's PR. The contents of that post were removed, but there were a lot of hot comments that really broke it down. I'm counting on you, Holden, to take an unbiased look of these claims. So a comment on the

right thread, for some reason the actual post removed, said, after listening to the album, I 100% believe the relationship is for PR purposes. Taylor's POTY article describes her impact on the economy with the Aresor. The Year? I know. I forget what.

Oh, yeah, person of the year. Her impact on the economy with the Aresor and the NFL gaining a whole new audience. She's quoted in a booming voices saying, aren't you entertained? In TTPD, we learned she was down bad after losing her creative twin flame and love of her life. The torture pussy department? Yeah. who left her after her fans sent death threats with the Speak Now petition,

even wearing dye Maddie shirts to ERAs. She directly addresses this in, but Daddy, I love him, calling her fans vipers and having to put on fake smiles, and I could do it with a broken heart. If she was this brokenhearted, there's no way immediately jumping into a very public relationship with Travis,

a man, the complete opposite of Maddie, but physically and intellectually, he's not Aristotivocally. She says that in the song, wasn't done on purpose. What purpose does Travis serve for her? He is a good distraction giving the public the idea that she's happy when she's really not. The PR gives her a way to elevate her popularity to levels where she is overexposed, leading for maybe the scales to tip not in her favor, but not by a major scandal of her own doing.

She absolutely needed the illusion of being happy and in a committed relationship to release the album. Otherwise, her fans would not want to listen to songs about how much she cares. for Maddie. It fits with her pleading, quote, temporary insanity in the prologue as a way for fans to accept songs on this album. She doesn't plead guilty because loving someone is not a crime no matter how much he was hated. Fans are in denial about her calling them out on this album and are somehow convinced Travis's end game.

Meanwhile, Taylor definitely left the doors open for Maddie, even recently posting herself wearing the lilac skin mentioned in, I'm going to get you back. She does not let things go or get over heartbreak easily. She's still drudging up the Kim feud. She has said she's a mastermind, so I believe this is all part of the plan. This is an email from Meg who believes Taylor was hired by the NFL. This is a different listener writing in.

One of my best friends knows someone who does marketing for the NFL. This friend said that the NFL's biggest goal this year was to get more women watching football. Since Taylor showed up at the Chiefs game last week, Chiefs games have seen an increase of female viewership of 63%. Over 2 million new female viewers, according to Yahoo News. The NFL has been absolutely milking this relationship from passing out friendship bracelets to the first 1,989 Chiefs fans at this past Sunday's game, 1989, to changing their Twitter bio to NFL Taylor's version to even getting the coaches from the voice to explain football to Swifties. Travis Kelsey's jersey sales also went up like 400% or something crazy.

There have been other theories of Tavis being a PR relationship on Taylor's In, but she does not need the PR when she's already one of the biggest celebrities in the world. We will no doubt see more Taylor NFL crossover and that will just confirm my theory even more. Anyway, y'all are one of my favorite podcasts is the best part of my Thursday for real Lots of Love, Meg. And then also from who originally written in Sarah.

Lots of love you guys. I look forward, or I took my boyfriend to see a Royal Oak Show and he had a blast with no context. Oh, that's nice. Love from Michigan, Sarah. Hell yeah.

Wow. Yeah, it's good. Man, I will say if it wasn't all planned out, this is the most, this worked out so perfectly, a little too perfectly for the NFL and everyone in walls. I will that part. And this week we have the article with Lana Del Rey saying, quote,

Taylor Swift has told me so many times that she wants it more than anyone. And how amazing she's getting exactly what she wants. Yeah. I do agree, too, that the album is way more palatable in a world where she's now with Travis. A hundred percent. Whereas her fans would have hated the Maddie songs. Yeah.

If she was still with him or... Or even past him, but not, like, in a new relationship or, like, still heartbroken or whatever. They wouldn't accept it as much, which, you know, I think is dumb. I think she's just one of a fucker fun rock boy or whatever. I started off... I started off this conspiracy feeling really hesitant, like, you know, how could she move so quickly from to a totally different guy? And I'm like, it's called a rebound.

But by the end, I don't know. The thing about the NFL feels very real because the NFL has had a tough. few years for PR. Obviously, a few years ago, there was the Colin Kaepernick stuff. Oh, yeah. And that I do think, like, really impacted the personal feeling of the game. And also, all of the CBT brain injury stuff, right? Like, I feel like a lot of people are, like, less comfortable with the NFL now than they

were before both of those things happened. And they definitely got a huge PR win by being like, look at this fun romance. Oh my God. Yes. And what if it started off as a PR? And then they actually fell in love. And then someday we are going to get the album and the documentary. This is Tay.

dot dot, dot now, colon a love story. And we're going to watch as it unfolds in front of our eyes. And we will all be here for every single second of it. Absolutely. But will she get stiff person's disease? That is my bet. Don't bring up saline right now. Well, there you have.

I hope that J-Lo, I hope that Tay does not age into, this is me dot, dot, dot now, Colin a love story because that's the last gasps of a star transitioning to a different, you know, it's like going to the heavyside layer. It's happening to J-Lo, you know. But I will say I do go against the idea of like, why would you go from Maddie, this like broody boy to this like big, dumb puppy man?

Well, I mean, because there's, I mean, because I think we know why. Yeah, we all. You always go for the opposite of what you were just with. Of course. Yes. That part, if you take away the NFL part, the mutually beneficial NFL PR part, then I'm like, whatever I don't buy it. It's the mutually beneficial for the NFL part that I buy.

It worked out so well for everybody that they got together. And the fact that he's like, but if you think about it, he doesn't want to just be NFL. Like he's also doing like the DJ stuff. Like he's trying to do. That's what I'm saying. He wants to be a star. star. So I think it actually would go far beyond the NFL. Yeah.

Because now that like there's already talks of him like starting to age out of the NFL. So it's like this would certainly help him pivot into a new career. Yeah. It is so funny. I saw a post. And he's acting now. I saw a really funny post of like, it's like here's the new like husband or boyfriend costume for eras.

It's all guys wearing Travis Kelsey jerseys before it was like shirts that say like I'm the problem or I'm the husband, it's me. Hi, it's me. Or whatever. But yeah, the new dude bro, it's a little too cool for it. It refuses to like actually wear T. Swift merch but still wants to fit in. Where's a Travis Kelsey jersey to the concert? Yeah. So that's it. They can maintain their precious masculinity. My God, it would be so horrible if they wore a shirt with a Taylor Swift lyric on it. Good,

good Lord. Yeah, she can't handle it. She knows what she wants. And she is, she wants it more than anything. anyone, just like Lana said, and I would not, I totally would not put it past her to be like, this will look good for me. And so I'm doing it, you know? Yeah. She's down bad, man. She was down bad, what are you to do, but get badder.

Or start dating a puppy man. That's right. Well, I guess we both kind of believe. We believe, right? We believe. I think we all believe. All right. I guess it's time for the list.

Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. This just gave me a little bit. bit of a laugh, the six weirdest encounters celebrities had with a pre-commander-in-chief, Donald Trump. Now, none of these are upsetting. These are all just dumb and funny, and I want you to know that. Christian Bale!

While filming a Batman movie at Trump Tower, Trump invited Bail up to his office, where, quote, I think he thought I was Bruce Wayne, because I was dressed as Bruce Wayne. So he talked to me like I was Bruce Wayne, and I just went along with it, really. presumably bail dropped the American accent in their private meeting so it's entirely possible Trump thinks Batman is secretly well. And I think it's funny if he just talked to him as if he was Bruce Wade. Yeah, I mean, he's a goldfish. Of course. Yeah, he was like, oh, Bruce Wade's in my office. Bruce Wade loves me. Bruce Wade loves me. Of course. Absolutely.

Salma Hayek says after meeting at an event, which she attended. with her boyfriend, incidentally, Trump called Hayek to ask her out. Coincidentally, after she rejected him, someone told the National Enquirer that Trump would never date her because she was too short. Quote, I don't want people to think this about you,

he told her. He thought that I would try to go out with him so people wouldn't think that's why he wouldn't go out with me. Oh, my God. She marveled. Wow. Man. Back in the sense,

70s, Candice Bergen actually went on a date with him because she got set on a blind date with him. And she quickly learned his favorite color. She said he was wearing a burgundy three-piece suit with a burgundy patent leather boots and he was in a burgundy limousine. She said, adding, he was a good looking guy and a douche. What a thought to show up to a blind date wearing all, like not only are you monochrome, but you. you match your limo. It's things like this that you hear about. It's just like, if on paper,

cartoonishly, very funny. Very, very funny. Very dangerous. We know that Candice Bergen grew up with a ventriloquist doll as a sibling. Right? She was made to take sibling pictures

with Charlie McCarthy for the ventriloquist doll. Her father talked about the ventriloquist doll as a sibling for Candice Bergen. So I'm just saying, that she thought Trump was too weird. She knows what's weird.

She thought that he was too weird to go on a date with. She knows. We can trust Candice Bergen on these things. Look up Candice Bergen childhood photos to see her posing for family portraits with Charlie McCarthy, the puppet. It's very, very fun. Very scary. And I can't wait for your children to start taking care of Charlie MacArthur as well.

Now, Alice Cooper says, it says, no, you haven't gone back in time to 1987 and caught a fever. Donald Trump and Alice Cooper really did once play golf together. But Cooper is keen to emphasize the once. The worst celebrity golf cheat? I wish I could tell you that, he said in 2012. It would be a shocker.

I played golf with Donald Trump one time. That's all I'm going to say. In fact, a bunch of celebrities have accused Trump of cheating at golf. Oscar de La Jolla even laid out how he did it, which I think is fun because it seems like all he does is golf. and last but not least, Charlie Sheen. Talk about another weirdo that just accepted that he was so weird

he couldn't know him. Around 2011, Sheen was approached in a restaurant by Trump, who apologized for missing his wedding three years earlier, to which Sheen noted he was not invited to. Then he took off his platinum,

diamond, hairy Winston cufflinks and gave them to Sheen as a quote, wedding gift. It gets stranger. Sheen later had the cufflinks appraised and found out they were cheap, pewter, and bad serconia. So not only did he just give him the cufflinks he was wearing, but they were trash. And so that is just a couple of just fun little, silly, what an idiot. This dude is. Absolutely. I really enjoyed watching the people get completely alienated in a hundred degree

weather at his rally in Vegas recently and to ramble about sharks for a good 15 minutes in a completely nonsensical thing. And just shoutouts to him being a felon. And we're all here for that at least as much as we're raising ourselves. It seems like everybody who's ever spent time with him hates him. Yeah. Even Alice Cooper. Well, what's my list for it?

All right. Well, I can't see a thing, my friends. I think I'm going. Blind. Items. Oh, we can't see them. This sometime participant in a long-running beach show is starting in OnlyFans. I wonder where it is.

Meat show? Long-running beach show. Where's the beach? Who's a sometime participant who would have called? Oh, Angelina. Oh, Angelina. Oh, the little hamster face. Of course, she's going to start an only fan, which I don't care that she's going to start an

only fans. but or in general I don't care when people want to start only fans I think it's fantastic do your thing but man of course Angelina with that it's so funny dude I mean

I literally just put this in so we could go Angelina Angelina why isn't she on House of Villains man oh my God she'd be so good on House of Villains yes I would love her on House of Villains Season 2's coming

but I don't think she's in the cast but New York's returning and I forget who from Drag Race. They got a Drag Race person, too, in the house. So I'm very excited from season two. But yeah, Angelina would be amazing in House of Villains. Candy Muse, Holden. Yes.

I just feel like Angelina walked so that, like, Francesca and New York could run in terms of being reality villains. Oh, yes, very much so. She was really one of the early perfect reality villains. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I'm excited for it. It's going to be great. Anyways, what do we got next? We've got this permanent A-list actress from an iconic television role was talking smack about her higher-on-the-list co-star who bailed on an event for the show in which they both star.

What's funny about these two ladies talking shit about each other. Jennifer Anderson. Yes. I was going to go sex in the city. Well, I was going to say it kind of mirrors the show a little bit that they would be talking sex. Do you know the show, Jackie? No. My mom loves the show, but I feel like it is one of those shows that deeply went off the rails after like a season or two. It just went completely haywire.

Well, who would the other person be? The other one. Was it the morning show? Yes, the morning show. And the other person we had an article in your set of articles about how she doesn't have, she has her different first name that we didn't. I didn't know. Oh, Reese Witherspoon. Yes. Oh, yeah. Your answer to Reese. Laura. Again, the reason why I put this in is it's like, that's kind of their thing on the actual show is that they like hate each other and stuff. So I thought that was an interesting thing. So Jennifer, Jennifer Anderson was talking shit about Reese Wetherspoon

or vice versa. I think so, but I don't know. I guess it didn't specify. But the order of the answer for it is Jennifer Anderson and Reese Witherspoon. So I'm assuming Jen showed up and Reese did not and Jen talked shit. That's my assumption.

I mean, we'll always think about the Reese Witherspoon when she was hammered and she got arrested, or at least she got pulled over, and she just kept screaming, do you know who I am? Yes, I was going to say, you got to get up pretty early in the morning if you want to come at Reith Witherspoon, because I feel like she is so beloved. But you're right, she did do that, and that was bad.

That's my never forget. Yeah, that's your never forget. All right, we love to laugh at the man, this A-plus list actor who sometimes directs and is always thirsty has started coloring his beard, and it looks over. awful. Ben. No?

No. No. No. No. No. No. He acts and he sometimes directs and he's always

thirsty for Duncan, Holden. Yeah, he's thirsty for coffee and he needs a sweet don'tkeys. This guy's thirsty for notoriety. Oh, he's thirsty for notoriety. I was really thinking thirsty for Don'ton. This guy's thirsty for a specific trophy that he is maybe never going to get.

It definitely didn't get recently. And he's mad about it. he put on a bit of a show in a movie recently. Tried to get an Oscar. Bradley Cooper. Yes, Bradley Cooper's beard looks bad. Oh, he's dumb. Wait, wait, were you bringing up his,

you weren't bringing up his facial hair, were you? Why? Oh, just his, like, recently he came out and he just made some weird choice. And everyone's like, what is Bradley Cooper doing with his facial hair? Well, that was what he said, apparently it said he started coloring his beard and it looks awful. That's, yeah, that's what it. And so I, maybe that's like people are roundabout making fun of that. Oh, God. But the cut of it is terrible. Yeah, the cut of it is horrible. Yeah, this literally just dropped. And I saw it. Because like the morning of the show, I usually look at the, you know, what's going on to see if anything big popped.

And I didn't bring this up because I didn't think anyone would care about Bradley Cooper, shaving the midsection of his beard for some reason. Oh, my God. Everything below his lower lip is. completely clean until the chin. But not to his chin. Yeah. Yeah. It's like an anti-flavor saver. Yes.

Weird as hell. That is not good, Bradley. That is bad, bad, bad. It's like he was, it was like he was doing like a construction paper cut out of a flavor saver. But then instead of putting the flavor saver on his face, he put the left, like the scrap. I think this is called.

I'm going to assume somebody went too far and then they tried to like, josh it. Then shave the whole thing up. It's called, I would call this a chindo. It is a chin window. Right? Like you're getting... Oh, yeah, or that that's the section where you would put the chin dildo if it was attached to your head. Well, maybe it is for sexual purposes.

Yeah, yeah, maybe it is a chendo. This is deplorable, Bradley. We've got to work on this. You're not going to get that sweet, delicious trophy if you're walking around with that. Maybe it's for a role. Maybe it's for a role. Maybe he's playing like someone who is just broken. You know?

And who no one wants to hang out with it. But like he banged Gigi Hadid. Why is he banged in the head? Does he bang Gigi Adi? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know if he bangs on red carpets of Gigi Adid, but I don't know if he holds her hand in pictures. I'm not juries out on him actually being into,

let's even just say, someone like Gigi Hadid. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All the blind items seem to know for a fact that that's not the case. But, yeah. My really sad Google, Google will tell you, the other artist that you've recently searched for,

and it says only you can see this, which is nice, because mine are Ethan Slater and Lisa Bonnet. So I, uh, that's, that's just what it's like. I think that's a pretty good past. I think that's fine. Yeah, that's fine. I think because somebody,

I saw a Twitter thread accusing Barry Kugan of being a bad daddy because he's got a kid with like a different. Yeah. And the other lady has been like, I see you out palin abouts, but you're certainly not here helping me take care of our fucking child. Right, we'll acknowledge that. But again, Sabrina Garpenter knows he's a bad man.

Yeah, he's a bad boy, though. Let him be a bad boy and ignore his child. I mean, come on, it's his thing. God. Well, I think that we don't specifically have evidence. We don't specifically have evidence. As far as I could tell, another worm time, we don't have evidence that he's an actively absent father,

aside from the fact that he is working all the time shooting hot music videos with his new girlfriend. All of that is the evidence that he's probably not hanging out a ton with his baby. And then sometimes the baby's mother will like Instagram comments where people will be like, you're doing this all on your road and she'll like heart it. But apparently she hearts most of the comments she gets. So I'm just saying there is, I think that this might be an internet speculating that Barry Kugin is a bad daddy. Man, MJ gets deep, dude.

I'm getting a little window into MJ. I know. I love this. plastics I'll do to like not have to hate Barry Coogan the same way that we hate Ethan Slater. I know. I know. You know there's the bad boy you two.

You two are the bad boys. You know what the problem is? Barry Keoggan, hot. Yeah. That's the difference. And it's sad. That's good. That's the difference.

So Ariana Grande, we give shit to. And Jeremy Allen White. Yeah. Jeremy Allen White was in his, I went in a similar hole. He's the other rat face, rat boy summer. He is the other rat boy summer. Yes.

And he's another. He graduated from the, you know, Ethan Slater School of not necessarily being around for your young children. But again, you know, but then like the bear season three is going to drop and it's all going to fly right out of my brain. Where do I apply to these schools? Where is this matriculation? You guys keep saying, I want to go to these schools. I want to attend the classes. Yeah, I'm just saying we know for sure that Ethan Slater's ex has been like bad daddy.

Bad daddy. And I don't know if we know for sure that Barry Kugan and Jeremy Allen White, I know Jerry Melon White's former partner, mother of his children, referred to herself as a single parent and then edited it to say solo parent. And that is a sign that maybe she feels like she needs a little bit more help from Jeremy Allen White. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we don't know for sure. And I try.

We try to. But I'll tell you what, I think you're still going to become aroused by the look of him, even if we do find out he's a bad man. That's your cross to bear. That's your cross to bear. That's your Jesus time. Yeah. We're bad.

We're the bad boys now, Don't. Yeah, we are. You're the Jo-Jos pro, bro. Yeah, we are. Fucking bitch, dude. Get me the Titos, Holden. Yeah, get me an it or Titos. I'm gonna pull from his head on the Titos right now.

I like Titos. Now I'm still in impression of a Fred we used to have in our group. All right. Anyways, let's get out of here. Well, wait, I guess you say we get out of here. But I will just say to you, Jackie, that I can see again. I'm proud of you that you've got your eyeballs back. I guess you better get some ball insurance up top hold and keep them peepers peeping.

Exactly. Sure these poppers. I'll tell you what, I saw those advertisements and I will never be given my eyes to nobody else, dude. These peepers, they only see what this brain can contain. Wow. You're not getting into someone else's head. Interesting new high horse for you. I have no idea.

You can have my heart. You can have my knees. You're never getting these papers. These papers are property of one guy. You don't want a gift what's in your, what you see to someone else. Like the messed up or appropriate. I don't want everybody to, I don't,

that person will just be puking. Yeah, that is true. It's a burden. And I don't want to give that. It's a burden. Yeah, that's a burden. And thank you guys for letting us. burden your brains today with so much information. Oh my God, it's like you're going to shit it out

your boy. Wow. Wow. I said it and I don't know why. Thank you guys for joining us on today's episode of page seven. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can come hang out with me over at Jack that worm over on the instas and you can come and hang out with MJ and I over on Twitch.tv. forward slash oh no it's Jackie every wednesday morning we play the sims and we have so much fun doing it and i will also say even though last week i was talking about a different book that i'm going to go into next with jacky's book club which is over on the patreon i will say i did find a short that i was so intrigued by that i have to read it and i'm going to keep it a secret until it is dropped so come over to the patreon and find out i think it's going to drop and

probably like two or three weeks. I think it's when it starts. I don't know when Soul to Keep ends, but I just need you to know, again, so intrigued by the title that I'm just jumping in and reading it and recording it for you guys. So come hang out.

Hell yeah, dude. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast, dude. Fucking so much going on over there. And I want to highlight the Buffy Watchalongs, which have been absolutely killing it. Or at least we've been having a blast at the $10 layer. You can watch us, watch Buffy, and you get it all on the screen, and it's right there for you.

$5 a month. Yeah, we're talking so much bonus content. The leftovers, we're about to record all those extra articles we didn't get to. Is there a ham knee pad or a sausage nasal guard or something like that from, you know, Oscar Meyer? Because Jackie's always telling us the new snack. Yeah, is there a little snacks? goggles that you can swim with. Well, we'll hear all about that on the leftovers.

Add three episodes in the main feed. And of course, Jackie's book reading that you talk about, it is a great time over there. Twitch.tv.4. slash Holdenatorsho. Every Friday, Jackie and I have been going long in the dawn on that Friday. It is a long hang these days. So check us out. Twitch.com slash Holdenaders ho.

And paste of a podcast at gmail.com. for your conspiracy theories. Please send them in. I use them, and they're great. And I thank everyone who sends those in. MJ? My name is MJ and I'm MJK L Kat on Instagram. To the shout-out song.

Shout, shout. Let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read it to you. Come on. Thank you guys. So incredibly much for

sending in your shoutouts to page seven podcast at gmail.com you can send in your own shoutouts but also you could just like send us a whatever you could just send us any old email if you'd like like holly did when holly let us know about nicola coflin's gem big mood on toby apparently it's a beautiful six episode show where coflin lives with bipolar and there's a love actually party in episode two and i just want to say thank you holly so much for the record I love TV and movie recommendations, and I'm always down to here on page 7 podcast at gmail.com, and I can't wait to hear from you. But first, we've got some shoutouts going out to a couple of friends that we've already heard from. First shoutout goes out to Cheyenne.

Cheyenne says, I want to first start out by saying that my husband and I love the LPN family. I listen regularly to page 7 if I'm not too busy, binge listening to Akegonne, Throne of Glass or Crescent City. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And Cheyenne, there's going to be more where that came from. Don't you worry, babe. Ah, they go on to say, on a recent episode, you had mentioned that you and Jeff went on a fun date night

to a nerdtopia of sorts to play games. Yes, check out geeky T's and games. Geeky T's and games, it's a mecca for us nerds out there. Cheyenne says, we are a store just like that. and I wanted to thank you so much for shouting out local game stores to your audience. Small businesses like ours compete with all the big guys, and I'm sure you're mentioned of your geeky teas and games, and what you can do there for date nights and gatherings,

surely got someone to try a small game shop out, and for that, we thank you. But yeah, definitely. Cheyenne is encouraging us all. Check out the small games stores in your neighborhoods, the small bookstores in your neighborhoods. We have to be supporting each other and supporting our loves. I love our community.

Cheyenne says we opened in mid-November last year and in the last few months have built the most amazing and eclectic community of nerds. I want to give a shout out to my husband and myself for taking a leap of faith on something we had been talking about and planning since COVID. Every day is so hard, but so fun. And oh my God, Cheyenne, I just pause.

and looked at Gather Your Party Games.com. Again, that's Gather Your Party Games.com and read Your About You and the love story between you and your husband, and you said that your husband wrote it, and it's amazing, I'll be it a little salty at times when he talks about the trials and tribulations of starting a new business,

and it's beautiful, and thank you so much for sharing your space looks so amazing and inviting, and exactly what we need in these times. Thank you so much. for creating a space for people to come and be able to be themselves and know that they can be vulnerable and know that they can just enjoy themselves and not have to worry about, you know, what the places they find themselves in. Cheyenne says, we did it and we're thriving. Thanks for calling stores like hours out and thank you for being in my ear at least twice a week. I literally

roll on the floor laughing almost every time I listen to you guys and can't wait to hear your thoughts when anything happens in Bob Culture. Thank you, Cheyenne, for so much for writing Again, gather your party games.com. And if you're ever in Carlisle, PA, check them out. And if you just heard, oh my God, I can't believe this person just said Carlisle PA, that means you should go check out, gather your party games and hobbies right now. Do yourself a flavor. Anyway, continuing on, oh my God, it's actually one of my friends sent in a shout out.

And I know, Adam, you didn't mean for me to be like, oh, my God, it's one of my friends, but it's one of my friends. And he's giving in a shoutout. And I love you, Adam. And Adam says, in honor of Father's Day, I thought I would do a shout out to my dad, Murtiguin. And if you want to know why that's funny, ask your Spanish-speaking friend to say his name really fast. And Adam, did I have to do it a couple of times in my own brain? Yes, I did, but I figured it out.

Adam says I feel extremely lucky to be born to this man, who is not only like a father to me, but is also one of my closest friends. I know not everyone is lucky enough to have such an awesome pops, so I wanted to share some of the gems of advice he's given me over the years. On a career. No matter how successful you are, you'll probably find yourself surrounded by assholes. On buying a house. You're never just the landlord. You're always the fucking landlord.

On life. Sometimes you're going to have to eat some shit. Eat the shit, brush your teeth, and don't look back. On love, rose-colored glasses are generally tinted with red flags. And most importantly, if someone knocks on the door and asks if your name is Sarah Connor, the answer is always no. Anyho, we're not allowed to sit next to each other at funerals. I fucking love you, Daddy-o. Thanks for passing on your sense of humor even with the accompanying neuroses.

And thank you, page 7 for indulging me. Always in forever, Adam. I love you and your crew. And happy Father's Day to Holden and Gideon. And Happy Father's Day goes out to yo pops. Thanks, Pops, for making such an amazing human being. And our last amazing shout-out is a self-shout. You know I love a self-shout.

I will say there is a trigger warning, and I will give you an opportunity right now to shut it off. There's a trigger warning for suicidal ideation. So right now, if you want to just end the episode, The episode's over, and it's all good, and I hope you have a great week. But for everybody else, we're continuing on. I just want to say thank you so much, Cyrus, for writing in your shout-out. Cyrus says, huge fan of the show and really appreciate the shout-out segment,

especially for self-shoutes. There's something about hearing someone else, especially you, tell you what you already know that can really help. This is my second self-shout. The first one was literally years ago when I was freshly out of a break. break up and struggling with drinking too much and needing direction. I've lived with depression and suicidal ideation, specifically what's called being passively suicidal since I was in middle school.

Because of this, I never really have seen forward very easily and am terrible at long-term goal setting and planning. I've lived paycheck to paycheck since I was 18 and lived unhappy in the broke artist lifestyle. I never saw myself living past the age of 25. Well, since I last rode in, I've met the love of my life, and we are now engaged. They have seen me like no one else has, and as a transgender person, that is everything, and helped me decide to take charge and get sober from alcohol, and go get a tattoo apprenticeship. And in two weeks, I turned 30 years old.

It's still so hard to believe, but I finally feel a new mentality. and motivation to carry on and grow old in a way I never have. While I wish I could shout them out, they haven't yet jumped on the page 7 train, so instead I'm going to shout myself out for how far I've come since the last time I rode in. The world is so tough to witness, especially lately, and so to anyone listening, I understand how hard it can be to carry on each day. But we really are all in this together. and we can't do everything alone.

Thanks for reading Jackie and for helping me stay accountable and able to keep track of my progress in this unique way. Cyrus, sending so much love to you. Thank you not only for writing in years ago, but for writing in again and updating us on what is going on.

And congratulations. I'm so proud of you for putting in the time and the work to work on yourself. I know it's hard. And every day, every minute can be a choice sometimes. Just, oh, I love to hear your happiness, even if it's just in text form. Thank you so much. And thank you to everybody for listening and for sending in your shoutouts and for sending

in absolutely anything. I just want you to know that I'm happy for your existence. And I thank you for coming here every week. Love you guys so much. Hope you have a beautiful rest of your week. And we'll be back next week. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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