Page 7 - Ep. 540: The Culture of the Rat

Episode Date: June 20, 2024

This week Holden, Jackie and MJ goss' 'bout the ever impending invasion from the kingdom of the Rat Men, TSwift possibly continuing to make sure Charli XCX as well as no one else hits #1, Christina Aguilera does NOT look like herself when she launches a phone sex line 1-888-PLY-GRND to promote her new lube, Justin Timberlake zoom zooms in the wrong lane past a red light and ends up with a DWI in Sag Harbor, Nathan's Hot Dogs bans Joey Chestnut from this year's July 4th hot dog eating contest over a deal with Impossible Meats, Chappell Roan gettin' upgraded to a bigger stage at Bonnaroo (but also getting overwhelmed), Joe Alwyn sorta breaks his silence on TTPD during an interview about Kinds of Kindness, and the Saltburn soundtrack drops on a "bath water" filled vinyl, and finally In Celeb Conspiracy Corner: Is Billie Eilish lying ABOUT HER AGE!?!? A List filled with celebs who were kicked out or banned from places do to their BAD BEHAVIOR. Blind Itemz and SHSHSHOUTZZZ Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We're bad boys out there. Please don't prove I'm right. Please don't bring me to tears when I just did my makeup so nice. Heartbreak is one thing. My ego's enough. I beg you don't embarrass me, motherfucker. Oh. Barry Keogh, don't break her heart.

Yeah, you black man. But we all know he's going to. We know he's going to, right? We're just like watching it down the barrel. We can see in the future the blush is going to run and the tears are going to fall. But that day is not today. Right now we're just sitting in our sweet essence waiting for the summer to come. Just saying please, please, please, don't do all of the bad things that you just keep doing.

But it's in his culture. Oh, come on now. Don't bring the Irish into this. Yeah, no, she says it in this song. I tell them it's just your culture and everyone rolls their eyes. Does she mean that you're not me? Again, I think she's referring to the culture of the rat man. Yes.

Which is a very specific color culture of masculinity, not the culture of the Irish. Oh, oh, not the culture of masculinity, the culture of the rat. The rat. Not the man. Focus more of the rat part of it. Yes, rats, they scurry and they cheat. and they get into bar fights. And they love it.

And I love that for them. I am here for the Rat Summer Brigade. I love the Rat Festival that is upon us all. Jackie sent us an article about a nut because we, she said it last week and it's happening. It's unfolding before our eyes, Rat Boy Summer, and she sent us another article about it. But she introduced it with, must be the season of the rat, which I have been singing all day. Yes. So yes, must be the season of the rat.

Yeah. Must be the season of the rat. And yes, because Jeremy Allen White coming back with the bear season three, the first episode, or I don't know if it's all season. Should be called the rat. It should be called the rat. We love his little rat face, but oh, how he cheats and how he leaves. But I guess that's a part of being like, you know,

maybe, yeah, this is the culture of the rat that we are just so drawn to, but then, like, you've got other rats that are peppered in. I know that we brought this up last week talking about. I see that Tom Holland is peppered in on Rat Boys on. He ain't no rat. But I don't know if I, I don't think he's a rat. He's not, he doesn't have the rat.

You sent us this, like, Gen Z guide to categorizing men, and I lived for it, and let me see if I can find it. And I did, of course, realize I understand that this is a, bunch of old people writing an article trying desperately to be like, is this what the young people are saying? Yeah, this was confused. This was very confused, I feel like, because it's like, what was one of them a crispy cream donut or something? I laughed a lot. A cinnamon roll. Yeah, I don't know if this is, good point, Jackie. Almost certainly not what actual Gen Z is doing. But it is a daily male trustworthy article called Gen Z boyfriend tries.

and the categories are Golden Retriever, the most iconic of whom in this picture is Ryan Reynolds, which I guess that's fine. Ryan Reynolds is a golden retriever. Ryan Reynolds serves dog for sure. But like the other ones they pick for that one is weird. But still, I get the dog, I get the Golden Retriever. Whereas, by the way, Maddie is, I believe, in the Rat Squad.

Because isn't that line about Maddie, but it isn't interesting because he's much more of a rat. He's totally not the Golden Retriever boyfriend. Golden retrievers are nice. Yeah. So he's not a tattooed golden retriever. Sorry, Tay. I know you're a lyricist of your generation or whatever.

Whatever. She's evil now. She blocks other people from being number one. Anyways, everybody knows that everybody hates Taylor now. And we had to hear about it from holding. And he's like,

I can't believe you're not talking about everybody hates Taylor now. And you know what? I'm not. Because it's not everybody hates Taylor. It's just these damn headlines are like, do you see how she rips apart the other music?

The other women in the music industry, and everyone's like, did you see? Did you see what they said? Yeah, I saw. I'm sorry, I'm too busy over here. Swimming in mulch? What is it that rats get into? What do you put at the bottom of a rat game? Yeah, mulch.

You put in some wood chips. I like to put in, if you can get to like a morgue or whatever and get some free samples, I like to put in some man fingers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm always in the morgue. And I'm always just like, do you got any cheese? And they say, get out of here, you rat, bitch.

I know you want the cheese whiz, but you can't have it. You do not serve rat at all, by the way, Jackie. Do I not serve rat? I thought I'd do rat. No, you don't give rat at all. No, no. I thought that it was an aesthetic. I didn't think it was a personality.

Because. Well, it kind of, I will. It is more. Tom Holland, the reason why Tom Holland's not rat, like, I could almost see it. But, like, if you notice, like, Barry and the bear, rat man. Jeremy Allen White. They look a little also disheveled a little bit and there's like a sheen of like glaze on them. Like they're kind of always a little sweaty looking. They're sweating out. That's exactly it. They're sweating out the booze. They're hung over. And that, yes. I am the closest we have to a rant man on this podcast. But really it would have been me 10 years ago. I'm a tattooed golden retriever. You're a tattooed golden retriever. I give dog though. I think I give dog. Can Gen Z please weigh in. Email us page 7podcast at gmail.com. The other two categories, aside from rat, boy, and golden retriever.

Himbo, obviously, yes, we've been hymboing for years. Love the Hymbo. That's a given. But also, why is the Rock on the Gen Z boyfriend tribes? I know. What is that? The rock is way, that goes to show, sorry, glaringly obvious that this is an old person writing this article. Why is the Rock?

The Rock is not one of Gen Z's boyfriend tribes. No. He's a square and he's a moderate. Yeah. No. They're not even millennial boyfriend. Also, Jeremy Strong is on this list. What Gen Zier wants to bang Jeremy Strong?

Very weird. I don't get this baby girl category either. The baby girl category has Tom Holland and Jeremy Strong and Jacob Allorty. I think that this one... What is baby girl? I think they made boyfriend material. Like, that's what it seems like this category should be called. Jacob Allorty, isn't he like six, nine or something?

Like, I feel like in my head that doesn't scream, baby girl. I don't know why it's called baby girl. Again, we need this. youth to help us because I don't think that this is what the young people are. I do feel like we have the rat man and the golden retriever, but is it boyfriend material is just golden retriever. You know, you just, there's, there's, there's pointy little drugs. Okay. Golden retriever boyfriend, fun loving, doting, eager to please. Okay. That is a big, big facets. Baby girl. Okay, so baby girl is a new term of endearment for attractive men that's taking over social media. But the multifaceted

phrase is tricky to define. While the moniker's true meaning is hotly debated across the globe, a man who's attractive with soft features and a cutesy air of vulnerability are amongst the criteria to be a baby girl. Again, with Jacob Allorty, have you seen euphoria? I don't think. And maybe the character, yeah, you're right. The character is not giving baby girl. But Jacob Allority, I dare say, take them off the baby girl category. Put him in cinnamon roll. That's the other category. Tell me.

What is cinnamon? I don't get cinnamon roll at all. Paul Muscal. Frank Ocean. Yeah. What are you looking at, Jackie? Are you looking at Urban Dictionary? Do the young people even know about Urban Dictionary these days?

I'm out of my element here. The artsy heartthrob is an erudite two fingers up to toxic masculinity, which is why Harry Styles is leading the field with a passion for high culture, ethical collaboration. and beautiful clothes, while still loving their mothers, the cinnamon roll man is apparently on the rise. Wow, nothing makes my pussy more wet than ethical collaboration. I mean, kind of, though. Many a man-loving person has said that, so I'll allow it.

Frank Ocean is there. In this day and age, I think it's good because that means he's actually like looking into what he's collaborating with. And isn't that nice? You mean a person that goes an extra step, Holden? I think it is attractive. I'm collaborating with equally sourced gluten-free bread. All right, the one you loves just hops on a plane every time she wants to go to the grocery store.

All right, they can all be like that, even though we obviously don't like her anymore. But we're not talking about her right now. We're too busy talking about rodents. She blocked the shoutouts, though. I will give shoutouts to Charlie X's number two album, Brad is great. Because Tay blocked her. Brad is really good, though. It's a really great album.

Absolutely. Brad. Support women, Taylor. Support women. But I just said this morning, I said Jackie and Holden, a TikTok of Charlie XX being asked about like women artists. And she just says Rihanna is better. Like she's asked like Rihanna or going through so basically every like female pop star.

Yeah, Olivia. Miley Cyrus, Billy Elish. Like I was like, like, ask Rihanna. And then she just gets like, Rihanna. Rihanna. Rihanna. Sorry. Rihanna, sorry.

So where's the headline? Until the end when she said Sky Ferreira. And now I feel like I've been sleeping on Sky Ferreira. I looked up Sky Ferreira and I was like, oh, I'm familiar with some of their music. But that was the only one that got Charlie XX did not say Rihanna. So I guess I need to start listening to more Sky Fiera and everybody else's too. I like how you almost said Guy Fieri. Yes.

There was a little Fiati because I always want to say Fieri. Some say it's the same person. So you're not wrong. There's a big conspiracy theory out there. What a talent of this generation, if that were true. Now, if we are here building up other women, then we best be talking about X-Tina because Christina Aguilera is creating these commercials about Pillow Talk Hotline that is used to launch her new sexual lubricant.

And so she's using these like sex, like this old. old school sex hotline commercials, which, no judgments. I didn't even realize that if you look up this, if you look up Pillow Talk, X Tina, I didn't even know that was her in the picture. I, that's why, oh my God, and when you first mentioned her,

I am blown away by how that is a different person. That's how I felt too, and then I felt bad. I was like, she has a different face and a different body. Does that make me so? I just went through this with, I don't know if you got to the point. We'll talk about more on Talking TV, but Holly on Perfect Match,

I had the same thing where we were like, what? Like, there was just so much done there. And it is astounding. And I'm not even saying whether she looks good or bad. It's just like she just doesn't. Like, I had no idea that that was Christina Aguilera. I just didn't know.

She looks really, yes. By all account, she looks good. I mean, because I feel like now it's, back in the day it was like, oh, God, you don't look like you and you look like a Dick Tracy villain. Yeah. You know, now it's not like that. She looks like she's a 24-year-old woman.

Yeah, but I don't want to like that was like a 24-year-old. I was like, shouldn't she look older? Yeah. I don't want to look like that. She looks younger than she did in Jeannie in a bottle. Like she didn't even look like her young self to me. You know what I mean? Like she looks like a different young person.

It's not even herself as a young person. I only know it's her because it says it's her. I still don't believe it. I know. This one really, more than any other work, this one really destabilized me. Because, yeah, usually it's like, oh, like when you said like New York looks different on House of Villains, but she walked in, I was like, oh, New York, you know, she looked, she got some work done, but she's New York. This literally, I was like, is Jackie saying that this, I was literally like, did you get the link wrong? Like, I was like, this doesn't look like.

Is it her? I'm looking up like other pictures of her, and I don't know that it's her. That can't be her. It's her. I don't get this. This is weird. This is getting into crazy territory now. No, because I looked up the commercial because I wanted to see, I just wanted to see how breathy she wants in the commercial. And I just needed to hear it. So it is definitely her. I'm flabbergasted. It's modeled after like an old school phone sex ad, which is phone sex hotline ad, which is fun, especially because she is, despite how she looks.

She is, you know, in the, we would put her, I guess, in the millennial and elder millennial. generation and kind of an elder millennial icon. And so this has like a very retro throwback aesthetic for the ad. And she's just like, get my lobe. And I'm like, all right, whoever you are, I'll buy your loom if you're ex-DNA. I'm sad because I'm trying to find 1-800 fat boys. Yeah, I'm going to say 100 fat. I'm trying to find 1-800 fat boys, which was a sex, like it was a phone sex commercial that I made that was me in that position, like,

I'm looking for the hot, fat action. And it was just all the murder fist dudes. It was just like Eddie and his big balls in these tiny bikinis just like slathering water on each other. And it was like Henry and Ed, it was just this, I'm in this. I mean, I'm saying this and I should burn my own

lips off. I'm in a hot tub with all of them with no clothes on and everyone. We're just like Oh, ah. And like, that's dedication. And I want everyone to understand that what ex-Tina and I do is dedication. And I did look up 1-800 fat boys murder fist and I still can't find it. It makes me really sad. Somewhere.

It exists somewhere. I think Henry demanded it get wiped from the face of the earth after it started getting on bare porn websites and getting a lot of traction there. And I think that that. I mean, it was hot, fat action. Well, I was to remember, I was like, did you guys used to call? call them, like on the, we had a pay phone at our school and we would go and call, like, sex hotline numbers and just like listen to the menu. Oh, we called them all the time. Oh, I was always

so curious. I needed to be friends with you guys in high school. I was always so, I would just see them like alone at home late at night when I was watching Rondeview or what's the one, the other late night, blind date. And that was always when they played the sexy commercials. Oh, yeah. And I was just so, I know you were a skin of max gal, Jackie. And I occasionally got a glimpse of that, but I got all my teenage horniness just from rendezvous, blind date, and the commercials that played during rendezvous and blind date. Oh, the commercials provided a lot. And I'm realizing I think, I think now I know the inspo for 190 Fat Boys, the only number I can remember that we used to call for just to listen to the menu was 1-800 fat girls. That's the only one I remember. There were

other ones, but sadly, that's the only one that sticks my, it was like 1-800, anything that was like hot love or something. Like, it had to be a set. you know, letter phrase or whatever. I wanted to be a phone sex operator so desperate. Really? I, and you know what? I'm going to throw it out there. I still kind of want to be a phone sex operator.

I think that there's, like, it's such a difficult skill. Like, that's something that you really got to work on to be able. And I know what you think, like, oh, it's just easy. Oh, anybody can do it. But I don't think just anybody can do it. Not to actually, like, be someone that somebody's going to, like, get the extension. for and call back. You know what I mean?

Like, I'm saying you want repeat customers in this game. Like, I'm not looking for just a one-night stand. I don't want you to just come and then you go. I want you to be, keep coming back. You want me to go-to gal. Why is my Zoom giving Jackie a thumbs down? Why are you giving me a thumbs down right now, MJ? Wow.

Are you, oh, oh, I'm sorry, MJ, sex work is real work. And I want you to understand. And I feel like thumbs is down. This is what MJ has been against since the beginning of time. We all know this. MJ is so judgmental, so against the idea of supporting other people. Hello, Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you. See how you're doing.

Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air friar in the bathtub, but nothing happened? Because you are too lazy to plug it in first. Then the Brighter Side podcast is for you. Oh yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, doo-do factory.

Caca-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chain to a bed in Russia? At least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right. Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. At the next Cita's getting into the personal lubricant game.

Like, I'm totally into that. Yeah. And apparently this hotline you're supposed to call, which surprisingly I have not called the hotline yet, but it's supposed to. Yeah, I wish we could call it right now. Oh my God, we should call it right now. I'm just curious to see if it is actually because it claims to help you dirty talk. I bet it's so dumb.

Really? That's the promise. Say things like lick or heat. You know, it's going to be like that or whatever. It's not going to be like, yeah, gaping butthole, you know, put your fist in my dirty lick sink or something. You know what I mean? Yeah, to be fair, I don't want that. I'm just saying it's not really going to get in there. You know what I mean?

Plied and grind. It's not going to be like, yeah, I would have mixed blood and urine and, you know, pour it on you or something. It's not going to be cool like that. I mean, you have your memory of remembering the phone number. I have a memory of, like, asking some trusted grown up, like, what is phone sex? Like, as a tweet, it must have been a tween. Oh, God, we're calling it. Operator, Christina, here to guide you on your journey to bliss in the bedroom.

Wow, it is actually X-Tna. For adults only. Listen sensually for the following. Listen sensually. Okay. I'm done. I don't want to listen. I don't need to listen.

How do you listen sensually? How do you listen sensually? Thank you, Christina. I'll choose the adverb for how I'm going to listen. Thank you very much. You better be doing it sensually, damn it. I'm listening sternly. That's like how podcast interviewers like make all of their listening responses to

audible. I know I do it. I would say it drives me crazy, but I do it too. Like when you're interviewing something and somebody and they say something and you have to go, uh, you know, or like, huh. You know, like to show that you're listening. I call it the Michael Mubaro syndrome from the daily and I cannot stand it. Hmm.

Uh-huh. You know, that type of. Mm-hmm. That's listening sensually to me. Wow, Jackie's such an avid listener. Ah! I guess she's listening really hard. I don't know.

Jay listens really sensually. It just depends. you don't know what kind of sex she has, and I don't think you want to know. But I definitely don't want to know about the kind of sex that Justin Timberlake has while drunk in the Hamptons. This, okay, first thought,

first what the stitch would have been if this had come out. So this just came out this morning, as we were about to record, that Justin Timberlake seen in handcuffs after his DWI arrest in Sag Harbor. And all I immediately thought was, you've got to really fuck up to be a celebrity in the Hamptons and actually get arrested. That takes a lot.

I used to work out in the Hamptons when I was a nanny. I would go out there for the summers. And I tell you, man, those celebrities get away with everything in the Hamptons. All right. Here it is. A new addition to the Bad Girls Tour. We got J-Lo. We got Jojo.

and we got JT. No, Jay T. He's not allowed. Yes, he is. He's also hitting like a rock bottomy kind of deal.

Yeah, he's also falling apart. They all are, did. You like to drive drunk? I like to drink pitos. Yeah. And by the way, yeah, Jojo, why don't we start driving a little drunk, bro,

if you really want to be bad girl? No, Jojo Do. Is Reitherspoon gonna go? She's recovered. Do you know who I am? No, I, um, This reminds me of the gift that I saw when the FBI was raiding Diddy's house. And it was a gift of starting with Angela Davis, who's famously a prison abolitionist,

morphing into Kamala Harris, who's famously like a hard on crime prosecutor, which is how, you know, when someone who you really want to go to jail, I always think of that gift. And JT. Such a specific. Very specific. That's very specific. I know. I post that on Instagram.

I'm like, I think the audience who's going to enjoy this is just, it's, small. But, but I do, um, I, I, I want to cheer for JT becoming in trouble. I wish him trouble. Oh, maybe this was the reason. He was not, it wasn't like, oh, he was tipsy. He was literally like slurred speech, bloodshot glassy eye, like he, oh, another hands down, another thumb down. Zoom is giving it a thumbs down on my window. I don't know why all the thumbs downs are happening, but Zoom, robot, I say this is a thumbs up. Not that he was slurring drunk driving, but this man has not still had accountability

from what happened with Janet Jackson, okay? So if he can get a little ounce of accountability, I'm glad that he didn't kill anybody. Yeah, remember when he was supposed to take some accountability for the Brittany stuff and instead he got on stage? And he was like, guess who doesn't care? Guess what, crime? He was a piss boy.

You know, I'm glad that we have Rat Boy as a category that can still be good because Barry Cugan is good and maybe not good men. That's good. I don't know. He might be neglecting his child, but we don't know. Who knows what's going on? Who knows what's going?

But Jeremy Allen, in general, we don't want to throw them out with the trash. You know, there's the rat boy who we might want to kiss. And then there's the piss boy who we want to flush down the toilet. Shout out on my piss boys out there, dude. Piss boys represent, bro. Yeah, absolutely. He just needs to, I mean, we talk all the three of us talk all the time about how you can be in the bad

Boys and the Bad Girls Club, but you should not drink and drive. No. It's just funny to me that this is like the one thing that all humans, no matter how rich you are, should not do. And it is the one place, the Hampton's like the richest place in America. And he is like this untouchable fucking guy. And they got you, bro. You can't do that.

No. Don't do it. His boy. Why don't you go piss instead? Maybe if you were properly hydrated, you wouldn't have gotten so drunk in the first place. Go get your piss out. Piss till you're sober. Piss till you're sober.

That's what we scream for. Karma's a bitch. Oh my God. He should have known better. Karma is a dirty bitch. I'm really, I'm curious. I wonder if Moore's going to come out that he was just like, I'm a fucking piss.

And then he's just pissing all over himself, like in the car. Like I feel like something must have else have been said. Some went down. He was like rude or something. Because they would have sent, because here's the thing. And I, like, with celebrities with shit like this, usually they'll get like an assistant or they'll get somebody to come and meet them at the car and drive them back. This is like, I've heard this many, many times about when a celebrity gets moved over. Why drive drunk?

Which is ridiculous. Yeah, you have like a staff of people. Like, it's also Uber exists. There's literally no reason. Yes. And I know you're like nobody should. I know you're that rich. And you don't want to get into an Uber.

I understand that. But literally nobody could fucking. drive you home, bro. Yeah. Pay someone, hire someone to drive you home. I do like to think that he like just burst into tears and started talking about how everybody's been mean to him since Brittany wrote her book. Or maybe he refused the breathalyzer test, which he also did, which is not like,

I'm not saying that that's not okay because I think that it's completely within your rights to refuse the breathalyzer test. I mean, you're, but you definitely should if you, I mean, that's. I do think it's very funny, though, that when you're that hammer and we're like, I won't do it. There's no way in there's no way you're going to do it. You will never put it. You will not do it in front of me. And yeah, I mean, to Jackie's point, like, you got to be pretty

hammered to get a DUI in the Hamptons because the whole point of that place is that rich people can do whatever they want there. And they own the cot. Like, it's like they all, you know, they all know each other. Right. It's a small town out on the Hamptons, unfortunately. And also, it's a small town in the hot dog world. And we now know the case. And I'm saying this as yes, the hot dog ambassador of the southwest region of the United States. And so I can adequately discuss this article. And if you hear anyone else discussing it, they don't quite understand

to the like level that I do. And I need you to remember that. Now we should just put a regular disclaimer that this is now a bit of a, I think we would maybe not use the word defunct, but it is an inactive title of Jackie's because I don't think there are, the institution is no longer active. Oh, it's back, MJ. Oh, it's back? It's back. Do you have to run again or is it a lifelong appointment?

No, I'm forever. It's a lifelong appointment. They said, like a Supreme Court judge. Condiment runs in my veins is what they said. This has been publicly asked and publicly answered that I am forever, the hot dog ambassador of the southwest region of the United States. All right. It's a loophole because they discontinued it.

By the way, wait, did you mention... It's what I just said, Holden. Oh. But he brought it back. I'm so sorry. I was getting some more intel, unless you already said this too, that I'm really going to be red in the face. He blew through a stop sign and then swerved into an oncoming late of traffic. Oh, yeah.

I told you he's very, very drunk. He's like, I got that sunshine in my pocket. Yeah, man. You got that fucking booze right down his throat. I have you ever seen a little movie called trolls? I got three words for you. Trolls world tour. Oh, and then everybody starts puking.

Yeah, he was absurdly drunk. Yeah, anyways, I just thought that was funny. But you're trying to talk about your, I'm sorry, you have an active, it is not defunct, I take that word back. Thank you. You are an actively, you are a lifetime appointment. Thank you.

Hot Dog Ambassador. so you know from once you speak, and now we are getting into controversial territory with Joey, what's his name? Chestnut, how dare you? Yeah, all right. I wanted to say chestnut, but then I was like, Nathan's hat, I don't know.

Joey Mayton. Wait, you don't know Joey Chestnut? I know Joey Chestnut. I go to Coney Island every 4th of July. I was there yesterday. Oh, how is Coney? I love Coney. I am a beach bimbo today.

I mean, I feel like, but isn't this the fault of Jackie of the day? It's as hot dog ambassador, aren't you in charge of hot dog education? The fact that MJ is not aware of Joey Chestnut's name speaks towards, I think, an issue with leadership. I think it speaks towards the Northeast ambassador's jurisdiction, and that's not mine. So, I don't know what to tell you.

You don't govern me. You don't govern me. I'm under somebody else's leadership. And yes, I know Joey Ches. Is it my job to teach you, MJ? Is it not your job to learn yourself? It's not my job to educate you. Google it.

I just can't believe that Nathan's is shooting itself in the foot like this. To me, that's my, I'm interested to hear your take. I think that this is a miscalculation by Nathan's hot dogs. For those of you that are unaware, Joey Chestnut has been banned from the Nathan's hot dog eating contest over a deal with vegan Franks. I think it's the vegan thing. I think that's really what I'm. When I first read this article, I thought it was the vegan thing.

I thought that it was straight up just because it was like, how dare they just because he doesn't eat meat or he doesn't want to continue to eat hot dogs anymore? How dare they vilify this man? But it does make sense that it is the Nathan's hot dog. It's a brand. Right. It is a brand's hot dog contest. Right. But I've got, but I'm so curious because he's working now with Impost.

Possible foods. This is like a huge thing. And everybody who's anybody knows that impossible meats are, which are all plant-based meats, they're very good. They are like the best of the best. I just want to put that context out there. You're very good. I like, I don't even buy regular, like real sausage anymore. I only get the impossible sausage. There's so much. They've gone, and I'm not saying, disclaimer, I'm aware of the fact that it's not good for you. Does it just because it's plant basis and make it good for you, and I'm not saying that it is. But, like, he has made a change, but he's working with impossible foods. But I guess that, like, I do wonder if part of him was,

like, if I did this, would this push Nathan's into becoming a part of the meatless arena in the future if this is like what, you know, they're like, they're kind of synonymous at this point, Nathan's hot dogs and Joey Chessna. Right. Right. So, like, this is a really big deal in the hot dog world, especially right before the 4th of July. Right. And I bring up Impossible being so good because I think it is like from the point of view of Nathan's viewing this as a brand competition,

I guess, I don't know, I feel like it's fascinating to me and how, especially as somebody who is vegan in like the early 2000s, that Nathan's sees Impossible as like enough of a brand threat that they want to shut this down. Maybe any brand would do that with any other brand. Maybe, like, Nathan's would do that with any brand. But I feel like usually veganism is just like a joke and a punchline. But if they're like, we actually, like, see you partnering with Impossible as a threat to the Nathan's hot dog brand.

I actually was just kind of interested in that because my instinct is to be like, well, there are two different things. If you want a vegan hot dog, get an impossible one. If you want a regular hot dog, get a Nathan's one. They can totally coexist. This is kind of a stricand effect, you know, where by Nathan doing, Nathan's doing this. the insurance thing in the house on the clip. Yeah, they're giving more light to the whole deal. Yes.

By doing this. And now everyone's going to be like looking into this impossible dog. And now I need to know how there's no meat in it. Does that mean that there are impossible hot dogs coming out? That's the thing they don't have them right now. It's all sausage. No, I know. And I am very excited about it.

Yeah. Now the thing with the impossible foods, though, they're like, they're really bad for you. right? They're just not meat. They're like, umptful of... It's not as bad for you as real meat. And it's nowhere obviously as bad for the environment. That's the thing. Better for the earth is the biggest selling. It's way better for the earth. There's farting cows, man.

I mean, I guess hot dogs are pigs. But still, those farting cows, man. That methane, man. Carbon footprint. They're the real T-Swift of the world, I say. Those cows and those fields. I always think that's so funny when people are like, gotcha.

Veggie burgers aren't... Good for you either. And I'm like, thanks, Jojo, Siwa. I am doing this for a multitude of reasons. And I understand that, like, this hot dog isn't like a whole unprocessed food. Hot dog, but like cold dog. Backer. Yeah.

Gluck, glug, glug, glug. Bag of fay. Anybody want to watch me vape? Whoa. Whoa. And if there's weed in there, I tell you what. Come sit by me. No, weed.

None, no. Just, it's just tobacco. It's actually not even real tobacco. It's those fake vaps that they give people when they're trying to quit. Well, you know, she is bad to the bone. But you know who's not bad to the bone? Chapel Rowan.

And yes, we are huge stands of Chapel Rowan here on this show. And it is, it's interesting. Talk about another cool thing to watch from the outside. And of course, she's a human being, so I shouldn't say things. but like watching someone explode. Yeah. So quickly. Yeah.

And now like because for those of you that don't know, Chapel Rowan, obviously we've been talking even more about her recently, but at Bonaroo specifically, they moved her to a much bigger stage at Bonaroo to perform like last minute. And that's a lot. That's a lot of change.

All of this stuff, of and she essentially went on stage and voiced it, not during Bonnarut, but voiced it on one of the other shows that she was doing about how like, this has been like a lot. This has been really crazy. I'm like really overwhelmed. And I just like, I'm sorry if this show isn't as good as it could be. I just feel I'm feeling really overwhelmed. And which you don't have to say that.

No one's going to know. Right. You're talking about this on Friday. I were saying that like you don't go out there and just say, hey, this is going to be a bad show. Don't say you're overwhelmed, but don't like apologize. It makes everybody uncomfortable. But how much anxiety?

Yeah, that's the thing that everybody just goes, oh, man, I've, you know, I got a babysitter and I came out here and, you know what to call attention. I sucked a dick in the bathroom. But the honesty is very moving to me. I think people might be like, I was at the show where she talked about how she was feeling, you know, and like, that's really, I think that was all good. But yeah, I mean, this, it, it, I was thinking about this last week when we were talking about her and the fact that she came from like being like, you know, such a, I mean, this meteoric rise from being like a person who was doing YouTube's and TikToks and was like a normal person. And like, I was remembering that Justin Bieber also came from YouTube. And, you know, was then kind of like swooped up and swept up into the industry. And that was different because he was like a young child. But that, it is weird to watch somebody before you're honest. become a superstar and you can just still find like the TikTok she made like two years ago

when she was like a pretty normal person or there was her the craziest one was there's a video of her at this theater camp where she was a counselor watching some of the kids or like the staff or whatever singing along to hot to go on her last day and it was literally like her leaving the real world and like going like after that point she starts touring in like these kind of smaller arena like small small small little clubs little things think about that that was most likely last summer yeah that's why no it happened that quick she was a counselor last summer it was that quick where she was a incredibly like and the whole thing that everyone likes to talk about is how she only planned to make music for like one more

year and then she was going to go like back to school or something wow and like yeah that go to grad school or whatever yeah it's like crazy It's been a while since we had this much of a DIY star, am I right? Except from, like, reality. Like, to just have, like, a music, somebody who's now at, like, the top of the music game. This quick. This is fast. That's so bad.

Like, Lady Gaga's, like, Love Chapel, all the kind of Ariana Grande. Which also, she does that bad, like, Chapel does a bad romance cover. Yeah. And Lady Gaga on, I think on Insta, like, loved it and said that, like, I love Chapel underneath which I can't even imagine what even that was like for Chapel of just like that Gaga looked at your cover of her song and was like, I love you. This is great. Recently T. Swift wrote it an Instagram comment.

I think Chapel's a stupid bitch and I'm going to do everything I can to keep her rise. Everybody knows that T-Wort is below me. I am just laughing so hard at the whiplash that our listeners must be feeling hearing you talk right now. They're like, who is this man? We haven't heard hold and say a negative thing about Taylor since 2022. She's evil. And now we're sprinkling in a little bit of evil tag.

I'm here for it. I say it's time. It's time for that stock to go down. A little bit. She's a billionaire. Of course she's evil. Right. Of course.

Gotta be. Yeah. She's got a robot servant or something that she berates. You know what I mean? It's obvious. Okay? Let her be evil. Yeah.

But it was not, it wasn't the private jet that made you turn on her. It was the being indirectly mean to Charlie X, EX. And I appreciate that. And yes, it's the passive aggressive meanness to Charlie and poor Joe. And let's think about Joe for a second, who recently came out and said, oh, tidily wink. It's been me hard time since my relationship broke up, six and a half years, a long time. All this tidily winked. And it gets a little complicated in it a little bit.

And I'm sorry, what did you ask me? Did you listen to the fucking album, Joe? Oh, when you think about it, to think to dream. It is the little death. What are you talking about? Are you just quoting Dune right now? I will say, I am going to go see kinds of kindness. I want to see that.

Because he isn't kinds of kindness next week. And I'm not going to not go see the new Lord, Yorgos lentemos. And I'm excited to, I'm kind of excited to see him because I feel like all I know about Joelwyn is little British penis. Little British penis, ma. and we made that up. So I don't even know if that's true.

All I know about him is what we have fantasized. So I don't know really anything about him. I know he was in the favorite, but I'm curious to see if he is any good in kinds of kindness or if he makes it suck. The big one. But he did a big interview, right? It was a romantic notion.

He did an interview in the Sunday time. Well, because the movie's coming out. Right. The movie's coming out. So we're going to be hearing a lot from Joe Alwyn in the next. He said it was a real go-to-the-theater relationship. He had with Taylor. No, I don't have the exact quote in front of me,

and I don't need it because it means nothing. But they were like, have you listened to the new album, right? Aren't you so happy I'm asking you this in this interview about your movie? And he was like, when you think about it and you really think about the movie that you go to, you know what I mean? He just goes to dances around it. But, you know, I mean, just speaks to how weird. I liked what he said about he was like, this was a very real thing in my life.

I had a over six-year-long relationship with someone. And that's a very real thing and a very difficult thing. And then it goes, but then the weird unique thing for me is then it goes into the tabloid and, like, social media space and it becomes unreal. It becomes not real. Like, everybody takes it and, like, makes it whatever they're. making it, you know, and spins it out of control. And that is odd, which I agree with. But they did ask him if he listened to the album and he just super

rushed right past that. And I'm sure he did listen to the album. What a missed opportunity to take a shit on Maddie Healy, though. You know, if it wasn't me, I'd be like, you know what? I thought that the album was called to be about sad British man me. It was about a different sad British man. You know what? You know what have been amazing?

He should have been like, you know what? I'm streaming lately? Brat. You should have said that. That would have been incredible. I feel like I would totally. like listen, I'd want you to, let's say an ex of mine wrote a whole album about me. I think I'd want you guys to listen to the album with headphones on while I sat in the room.

Oh, like, like, um, Werner Herzog with the Grizzly man, right? Yes, exactly. Yes. You should never like that. And I'll turn you up and I should never listen to this. Robespit Jackie, you will never. You'll listen to it. I need you guys.

I need you to grizzly man for me. Please. Yeah, we'll do that. I don't want to hear me die. I don't want to hear the little death of my ego. Right. We'll do that for you. But I mean, is it the consensus that Joe got off pretty easy?

Yeah, he did. I mean, obviously not easy. He has had many songs written about him. Oh, it weirdly just seems like it, like, was boring. Yeah, he was just a, and I think that's the biggest issue. Sounds like he's kind of a shut-in depressive kind of guy. And she was, and she needed to sparkle like a bejul. Right.

You know what I mean? But isn't it kind of nice that it wasn't like, and then he ripped and then he shred? Oh, that'd be honest. He's like a doom guy. Oh, he was kind of just like a borough snara. Yeah, right. I guess is it getting off easy if the whole album is about how she left you and was immediately so much more excited to be with somebody else, even for a very brief time.

To the point that she wrote a whole. album about it. I totally disagree with people that are like, I can't, she was only with Maddie for a fort. You know, I can't believe like she would write this much, but that's my experience. Sorry, we're not talking about Taylor. We can't talk about Taylor. We're not talking about Taylor right now. That was my experience being an important thing for a long time. And then the thing you think about all day is that crazy, you know, flash in the pan thing. Oh yeah. And then we're also, we're also going to be thinking about the salt burn vinyl. Holden, did you say that you bought the salt burn vinyl or you just saw that? But it's, but it's, it's.

Oh, okay, I thought you would say, I was like, wait, did Holden say he got it? Because apparently the salt burn vinyl, Holden did tell me about this, though, does have bath water on the vinyl. It's like a gushy, swirly. Or in it, no, it's inside of it. Yeah, it's like a mobile, it looks like one of those, like sensory pads. Like a squeegee thing.

Yeah, you get for like for a child to like press on and it gooshes all around, you know, but it's a different type of goosh. And it looks like a shower drain or a bathtub drain, I guess. And it looks like the goosh that Barry Keoghens sucks out in Saltburn. And it's great marketing. First of all, it's a movie. Why do we have an album? I guess it's the soundtrack of the movie.

I was like, what's happening here? I mean, it's got, at least it has muddle on the dance floor. Yeah. It's got that eight times on it. Yeah, it's just on repeat. Oh no, now it's going to be stuck. my head again. No. It's been in my head since last week because you and I made a joke about it at some point

last week, Jackie, maybe when we were doing Sims. And that song, it has like a week-long shelf life. It stays there for a week. I think it was because the Grim Reaper was on the dance floor because the Grim Reaper is always on the dance floor because he's a party animal and he keeps going over and turning on the music and dancing. And I'm like Grim Reaper, there are twin boys upstairs that need your attention. Can you please stop dancing and help out with the children? He loves to dance. And Barry Cugan loves to slurp out that come from the bottom of the bathtub drain.

And whoever designed that record, the Saltburn album, which again, weird to say to me, but they were smart because it's very funny and very cute. And everybody is probably going to rush out and get that. come record. Yeah, these like gimmick vinyl vials are killing it. But they get sold out immediately. There was Olivia Rodriguez one that looks so cool that like it's like one of those where with the record

spins it makes like an image, like a moving image. And it was sold out. What was it? What did it like make? Do you remember? Just her being like like, ah! Like I don't know. Just her weeping. Olivia being fun or whatever. But anyways, whatever.

Whatever. Because unless you have something else you'd like to say article-wise, I think it's time to speak ill of the alive. That's right. It's the conspiracy theory for this week. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it?

Is Billy Elish lying about her age? Ooh. New one, right? This is pretty exciting. This one comes in from the book thief, aka Rinfair Queen, which I'll explain at the end. Is Billy Elish lying about her age?

Pop superstar Billy Eilish pirate Baird O'Connell claims she was born December 18, 2001. Her and her older brother, Phineas O'Connell, were homeschooled by their actor-musician parents, Maggie Baird and Patrick O'Connell, who allowed them to pursue their interests from an early age, while Phineas dabbled in some acting,

Billy focused on music, releasing her first song, Ocean Eyes to SoundCloud on November 18th, 2015, when she was just 13 years old? Or was she? In an Apple Music Post on 12-11, 2015, less than a month after the song released. Billy shared a photo of a piano, along with the caption, when I was two, I played the piano with drumsticks.

Sixteen years later, I wrote Ocean Eyes on it. Say what you will about homeschooled kids, but even they should know that two plus 16 equals 18 and not 13. Whoa. If we take this post at face value and assume she's being honest here, why would she later lie about her age? The answer, as always, is publicity. Her debut EP, Don't Smile at Me,

would be released two years later on August, 2017, there was a huge media blitz for this album, which focused mainly on the fact that she was a 15-year-old child a prodigy. Or not for want. Yes, Billy was already a huge success at this point, with an acclaimed debut EP,

a nearly sold-out tour, and more than three million monthly streams on Spotify. But as Harper's Bazaar succinctly put it, it's almost impossible to ignore her young age. It makes her accomplishments all the more impressive. Certainly a 20-year-old musician finding such huge success

is a story. But a 15-year-old doing the same thing, now that's a headline, a magazine like Harper's Bazaar would want to run. The conspiracy isn't helped by the fact that Billy looks older. If she's 17, writes, Pes Cheska, it's in dog years.

Whoa. And has a sort of wise beyond her years kind of vibe. Anyway, I'm sure I could probably do more research, but I don't have the time, so I leave it to you to decide, do you believe, I believe Jackie's 42. Yeah, man. I believe Jackie's 42.

Thank you. I'm saying it right now. If I look this good at 42, ugh, please. Christina. Yeah. They're all doing it. Yeah, you're right.

Reverse aging. I mean, this is a great conspiracy because it taps into, the best ones tap into just like that completely unfounded thing where you're like, yeah, she does seem older. You know, like she does. And she does seem like the type of person who would want to be a prodigy instead of just a talented teenager.

You know what? It's also within reason. Right. Being like, for the rest of my life, just have to pretend I'm five years younger than I actually am. It's like, I mean, hey, Mariah Carey does it with 10 years, you know? I mean, so, you know, it's really... Ten?

I think you're giving her the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, you know, so it's really not that crazy, you know? It just feels right, even though it is a conspiracy theory, because she does seem preternaturally mature. That's like her thing. And people do want to be prodigies. I remember talking to someone in my 20s and they were like, I'm too old to be a prodigy now. Like, there is our culture loves prodigies.

I think that's sad, you know? I think, like, in the same way that I remember getting too high and asking Henry, if, I was like, if I die now, do you think I'm still young enough for people to say, oh, she was so young? What did he say? Why are you thinking about that? And he said, yes, you have at least until 55. I was like, wow. Yes. I mean, that was his direct response was that you have at least until 55.

And it was like, okay, all right, I'll milk up until then. Oh, yeah. No, that's true. The older you get, the more everyone's young now when they die. Yeah. Doesn't matter. But think of how much of your life, like, like how many years growing up you wanted to be older. Or maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but like when I was young, I couldn't wait to be older.

Yeah. I was like, get me out. Can't wait to live my own life. Want to be on my own. I want all of it. And then now, I mean, I don't want to go back into the womb or. anything, but like, I'm just saying if the rent is free, is there space. Might as well, man.

What do you think? I believe. You believe, Jackie? All right. Yeah, I believe too. Yeah. She's old. She's five years older than she is, which is still very young.

She's got one foot in the grave. She's so young and talented. That would make her 27. I'll tell you what, 28 is, I believe 27, 28 is the big turning point year. So if she is, in fact, five years older, she's going to have some. I'm kind of like... I don't know. Mine didn't happen until 31. No, because remember, 27, 28 was super sad summer.

No, that was more like 23. Holden, you're aging yourself. Oh, right for you. I was 28. He was 27. No, no, I am older. Yeah, I was. Oh, yeah, he was getting. When you were 23, he was 27.

Maybe so I was on, I'm on your schedule. That's... You're on my schedule. Yeah, in Holden years, you're 41. Oh, God. in Holden ears, I'm Holden's age. And we are scared of your age, Holden. You finally crossed the great barrier of which you cannot come back from.

Unless you want to start turning 29 every year and I support it and I understand. And we'll start calling you Mariah. Anyway, it's time for the list. You're going to have to get a lot of work done. Oh, who's on the list? Jack A. Gotta have that list. You know what this is.

I need to get a lot of work done. Weirdly works out for what we were talking about with Justin Timberlake, celebs who were kicked out or banned from places due to their bad behavior. Yeah. Sometimes celebrities need to get bopped on the nose. Now, we all know, and because we talked about a couple of weeks ago, Zachary Kinto got kicked out of a restaurant for screaming at someone until to the point that they cried like a child.

But did you know that Adrian Brody was banned from S&L after he went off book and introduced musical guest Sean Paul while wearing fake dreadlocks and speaking in a Jamaican patois? Chet Hanks, is that you? It gets you every time. I know. It's surprisingly not Chet. Just, I believe, Academy Award winner,

Adrian Brody is all you found underneath. there. Also, apparently, like, because I love when you can find those instances of, like, S&L alumni on podcast, talking about, like, the worst guests, you know what I mean? Steven Sagan was a big awful one that people hated.

But Adrian Brody apparently was such a shitty host guest. He was so awful, and it was this kind of shit. He thought really lame stuff was funny. He was, like, rude to everybody. Like, it was just apparently, and so this was just

par for the course. I think he was bad for not, I mean, this, yes, you get banned for it. Jesus, God, this was so bad. For all of it. That's bad. That's bad. That's bad. Yeah, he was... I wanted to kiss him so bad in high school. And that flame has not stayed lit. Why did he do? What was funny about this?

It's just so, it's not just like out-racist or whatever, but it's also just like not on any level funny. It's just so like, what are you doing? Yeah, even if it wasn't racist, it would be hack. So, hack. first criticism is the racism and our second criticism is the hack. It's so hack. Yeah. And, you know, speaking of people that I also used to want to kiss, but the more I hear about him, the more I don't want to, Hugh Grant was banned from John Stewart's The Daily Show after Stewart claimed Grant

spent time at the studio complaining that he had other places to be, quote, giving everyone shit the whole time and being, quote, a pain in the ass. He's notoriously a pain in the ass. That's the thing. He's notoriously awful. Yeah. That's why it's so fun watching it be miserable as a new Balupe and Wanka. It's probably the only good thing about Wanka, actually, now that I think about it. Is knowing he was miserable the entire time. Seeing Hugh Grant clearly upset doing a really humiliating role is very fun, very fun. You know, I've also heard lots of fun things about Ruby Rose.

In 2016, Ruby Rose got kicked out of Rebellion Bar in Urban Kitchen, a New Orleans restaurant, after the owner claimed she cursed out the bartender and threw food at him during a tantrum. Rose explained why she did this. She said she, her assistant and her manager, waited 60 minutes for fries and 90 minutes for food that never came. And when she told the bartender, he offered them drinks, but she politely declined because she's sober. The bartender then made offensive comments about her sobriety

and even told her to go call your fucking sponsor. Rose responded by throwing fries at him. I mean, if that's true, I still want to kiss Ruby Rose. Honestly. I still, okay, A, I think we also want to kiss Ruby Rose. B, I will say, not to victim blame here, but what did they say to get this bartender to yell, go call your fucking sponsor? Right.

I would assume something had to have happened. I at least feel like there's, I'd have to be in the room and to fully assess who was in the right and who was in the wrong. This seems a little... It's us. 60 minutes for fries, diabetes for food would put me at a state of like

where I would be possible to do that. You know where it gets you nowhere? Screaming at somebody. You know what? Like not, it's not gonna get your food faster.

Is that gonna help this experience? Yeah, you just gotta leave. Yeah. Totally. I'm just saying. You just gotta sit there too. Beautiful. You just gotta just be Ruby Rose.

Well, I get hangar. So I just, I feel this viscerally a little bit. Like if I was already hungry and it I walked to a restaurant and I'd wait two and a half hours is what she's claiming for food. I'd fucking lose my mind. Well, would you lose your mind at Madonna?

In 2013, Madonna was banned from the Alamo draft house movie theater chain after texting during a screening of 12 years a slave. The theater has a strict no talking and no texting policy. And during the film, Madonna was allegedly texting and then lashed out at another moviegoer who told her to stop. I love that this happened to her. Imagine being a person at a movie theater seeing 12 years a slave. You notice someone next to you is texting and you lean over to be like, hey, stop texting. And it's fucking Madonna. Right.

Crazy. Can you imagine? And then it escalates to the point that she gets kicked out of the theater. Like, I hope that that person dines out on that story for the rest of their life. Such an inappropriate movie to have a, like, dumb, like, extreme. I'm a extremely privileged fight too. I can't. You mean I'm not allowed to have my screen out?

Like, that's just so funny. It's like, while another screen is currently being watched. Story of like incredible, like, just brutal treatment of human beings. It's like you're going to get kicked out of it. And of course, James Corden is on this list. We all remember the egg yolk omelet.

All egg yolks. You know, you're not above the dress code, Rita Oura. Another beautiful person. that I want to kiss, Rita Orr revealed she was once turned away from one of Gordon Ramsey's restaurants because she did not meet the dress code. She showed up wearing a track suit and sneakers, wanting to have a meal but was told they couldn't accommodate her. This is just fun.

Miley Cyrus was banned from performing in the Dominican Republic. Government officials claimed that she, quote, undertakes acts that go against morals and customs, which are punishable by Dominican law. What? You can't... That's insane. See, now that's a bad girl. That's a bad girl. She can't even perform in another country. A whole country that, by the way, is known for vacation, their vacation industry, for, like, fun partying. And you can't even, Miley Cyrus can't even go.

That's how bad she is. That's how bad she is. Now, speaking of people that are bad, but at least more, you know, people that are just going off script for S&L. This is not, this was also, again, one of those things, not worth going off the script. 1994, Martin Lawrence was rumored to be banned from S&L after going off script in his monologue where he shared his opinions on women's hygiene and genitals that were too inappropriate by the show's standards. What did Martin Lawrence say? He said, you know, some women will let you go down. You know what I'm saying. No when they got a yeast infection. I'm sorry, sorry, come up with dough on your damn lip.

a bagel and a croissant on your lip. Anybody got butter? I like jelly on mine. Yeah, I don't know if that's not going to do. It's just very, that's not what a yeast infection entails. It's just, it's one of those things too, where again, if you're going to break the rules, at least do it in a funny way. So then they might want to be like, well, you know.

Right. You know, they fudged it a little bit, but we're fine with it. You know what I mean? Yeah. I just can't with like, Pussies are so gross, jokes. Get over. I mean, I know this was the 90s and that was,

that was like, yes, in 94. Yes. That was what everybody, and pussies were gross in 1994 to everybody and how we talked about them. But still, sorry, Martin Lawrence. Do better.

And last but not least, Paris Hilton was banned from the Wynn Las Vegas Resorts in 2010 after being arrested on a felony cocaine possession charge. Police claimed a back. bag containing 0.8 of a gram of cocaine fell out when Hilton reached into a purse for lip balm. That has always been my biggest fear is having drugs on me and they fall out while I'm doing

something else. It's so scary. I, you know, even just, I always have weed on me. And I forget now because where I live, weed is just, is so legal that I forget other places that you can't just have a bunch of weed on you all. the time. And I'll be traveling and I'll open up my fanny back and go, oh my God. And then it used to be really bad back in the day when it was all very illegal. And then you just find a one hitter in your pocket. Like I remember leaving New York and I'd find like a pipe in one of my coat jackets. And I'd be

like, God, get it. And I'd have to throw it out because there was nothing else you could do. Yeah, that happened to be once with a joint. Oh, like waiting in security. The era of my life when it was just like always possible there was a joint somewhere in a hoodie before I flew, you know, and I was like, there's going to be something in there somewhere. I went to the Empire State building the other day and I don't even... Whoa, hey there, New Yorker. I know. All right. What do you go to the Empire State Building for? Well, for fun with the kids and with friends and I don't, I didn't have weed on me. I don't even usually have weed on me anymore, but you have to go through security and I still have like a 23-year-old

primal, three-year-old stoner. Fear. Nervous response when I see security. I'm like, they're going to arrest me. Even though probably if you had weed trying to go through the Empire State Building,

they'd just be like, it's fine or leave. I think they're probably looking for weapons. But I was like, had a mini panic attack until I remembered. I didn't have weed on me. And it was just the Empire State Building. It wasn't the airport.

Thank God. Oh my God. Even just thinking of the things that people assume they can bring into places, I remember one of my uncles at one point was talking about going to the 9-11 memorial, and he was just like, isn't it crazy? They wouldn't let me bring my knife in.

I always got my knife on my hip. And I was just like, yeah, that's really crazy. I'm so surprised they wouldn't let you bring a knife into the 9-11 memorial. Yeah, I'm flabbergasted. Anyway, that's the list for it. In case you were wondering to, Blake Lively was banned from Disneyland for a year. when she was six years old because she was trying to sneak into the park, which is very cute. Very sweet.

Well, I can't see a knife because I can't see anything. I think I'm going blind. Items. Oh, we can't see them. This one named AIS actress is setting the stage for her split with the foreign-born actor who's not a rat. Not a rat, Zendaya. Yeah, I so don't buy this at all. And it's because it's weird because they link an article about how Zendaya is being all cute and doting

after his performance of Romeo and Juliet that he's doing in London right now. Yes, she was so supportive. That was like what all the headlines were. We're just like, isn't she so nice? And I don't buy it at all, but I just had to throw it in there. I don't know. I just thought it was funny.

It's like setting the stage by watching him on one, adoringly, as if she'll never leave him. That's what someone who would leave him would do. Yeah. I know. I know. I'm so sweet. Yeah, but it would be fun to see Zendaya go out there and be like, you know, I'm with Jojo now or something like that. Oh, yeah, or Challenger's it up. I mean. Watch fucking challengers. That's what you mean. So let me hear out or whatever, you know what I mean? I got a yeast affection. I got dough on my lips, you know what I mean? Bad girl now. Jojo doing a 1984 butt in a bit is where my stomach finally turns. That would be a good bad girl turn.

do like a comedy boom era bit on stage. All right, this A-list actor slash directors slash bad tattoo lovers should really not flaunt his illegal to purchase in California cigarettes. Ben? What is he getting menthols? Ben Affleck smoking.

Is he getting menthol? Mentholz. He was recently... Yes, he's getting menthols. He's getting illegal mentols. They ban the menthols. They banned the menthols. They banned the menthols.

They banned the mentols. Oh, yeah. Oh, and, Flavored vape juice. In 2020, all flavored products, including menthols, cotton candy flavored vaping products. It was more going after,

you know, kids. Kids that are banning menthols. Because, like, kids are for old people at a bowling alley. Exactly. No, I did menthols. Yeah, people like Jackie Zabrowski smoke menthols. Yeah, they kind of lumped the menthols in with the like more for kids stuff.

But, yeah, Ben was justly seen smoking on the set of the accountant, too. I guess it was a menthol. He was also not wearing his wedding ring. Oh, he needs his menthe. He's on set. He's fine.

I think he should try a little bit of patois. I think it's time for his patois era. Yeah. Yeah, maybe he should start adopting, like, the alter ego of the phoenix that's on his back. Like, maybe that character has a patois. I love how we all agree it's a terrible tattoo, and it's just the blind to identify him as he's,

gets a, has a bad tattoo, and everyone who's everyone just agrees unanimously that that thing is a fucking crime. You know what I mean? This is bad to look at. Yeah, that's rough. Well, I have a kindness blind to close it out. You ready? This Oscar winner, who now does something different in the entertainment world, gives away about

40% of her annual income to charity. Wow. She loves a ghost. She is funny. She was in a movie about a talking dinosaur. Yes, Whoopi Goldberg. And isn't that sweet. Sister Act herself.

I mean, she makes enough. She fucking makes enough that I'm glad that she's doing something good with it. Yeah. There you go. And the view is like such a scourge on humanity that I'm glad that she just redirects that money to the people. But, you know, the thing with Whoopi is she has just absolutely unpredictable in terms of whether she's going to say something good. Things she says, it is, wow. Honestly, it's about 60, 40.

I would say 60%, absolutely correct. 40%. What are you talking about? Let us not forget how she talked about Roman Polanski, which was a long time ago, but still, late enough that she should not have talked about him the way that she did. And so, yeah, 40% of her income is, I think that's, I hope that it's going to good things

instead of the weird shit that she sometimes says is good. Yeah. She's a bit of a mind, a mind-filled when it comes to the things that fall out of her mouth. I'm there you say, she's a mind-free. But she's a bit of a mind-freak. She is a mind-free, but you know what she loves potato chips? If she dressed like Chris Angel, I would be very, and she was eating the potato chips, I think that that would really be the best version of Whoopie that we could get.

She does dress really weird, but I don't think it's like Chris Angel. No, no, no, no. but I would love to watch her do magic. Please put her up on the stage. And I'll be the Zendaya. I'll be right there being like, I don't support everything you say, but I'm here to support you doing it.

Well, there you have it. Oh, God. Now I'm just reading horrific things that would be Goldberg said in the past. Hey, the list next week. And let's just say we're not, we don't support most of the things she said. There you go.

The list next week. Let's do it. Woof. Yeah. Yes. All the things will be said, this is the problem with having a daily television show. Yes.

And being like a person who's like pretty smart. But then sometimes, yeah, you're going to go off. And I'm not excusing the things she said. It's just that some people just shouldn't speak into a microphone every day for an hour. For years, decades. Yeah. You know, you're going to run out of things to say. Totally.

Kathy Lee and Hoda, I'm looking at you, even though Kathy Lee took her note. and she bowed out a long time ago. But Hoda, she's still going strong. And I think we have run out of things to say, or at least I've run out of blind items. We did it. We made it, ladies. You can see again.

I can see again, my friends. Welcome back to the world of the seeing and just in time to exaunt the world of the hearing. And that is our episode for you guys today. Thank you guys so much for hanging out for this week's episode of page seven. We did lots of yelling today. and I hope I didn't blow out your ears

before I had the opportunity to blow out your back. Why am I saying this? My name is Jackie Zabrowski. I couldn't stop myself. It was like, it just kept coming. You know, it's like, why? Please don't continue the sentence.

Please don't continue saying what you're about to say. But sometimes... You got Milf Manor on the mind, I think. You got to go talk about... That is what happens. When you start the day,

starting to watch Milf Manor at 6.50 in the morning, I think it is not... not going to be the most coherent of days for you. But again, thanks, guys. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm, and you can come hang out with MJ and I over on Wednesdays on Twitch.

dot TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. And I just made myself a dog, and her name is Bonkey, and she is perfect. And I'm very excited to play more with Bonkey this week. And I guess, kill. We killed Alex Jones last week. So we'll see how it goes. Hell yeah.

Check me. at Twitch.TV forward slash holdenators ho. Check it out. Fridays. Six p.m. E.T. Jackie and I, we scream. We drink. We have fun. It's always a blast. Twitch.tv.TV forward slash hold to natures. Oh, uh, Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. Weekly bonus episodes. Five dollars a month. Plus, Jackie's book club. And at $10 a month, man, we're watching Buffy. We're watching the shit out of Buffy. And I think we're fully hooked. We are locked in, guys. It's a great time. Well, now I'm also to the point A friend of mine was like, yeah, but like, you don't even understand the world that opens up with Angel. And I was like, oh my God, like the show Angel.

There's just so much. There's a lot going on there. Check it out. Also, page 7 of a podcast at gmail.com. Please send in those conspiracy theories. Absolutely. Pagesupea podcast at gmail.com. MJ?

My name is MJ and I'm MJKLKat on Instagram. Let's sing the song. Shout, shout. Shout. Let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read it to you.

Come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for sending in your shoutouts. And you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. You can send in whatever the heck you'd like to us. I love getting the emails. And I just want to say, thank you guys so much for not only listening every week, but being so beautiful and wonderful in our email.

And I just want to say thank you every week to the people that just write in just to say hi. I just want to say, I see you and I appreciate you. And to everybody else, hell, I see you and I appreciate you too. And I guess you're like, well, then what's the point of writing in the email? Well, maybe I do extra little kissy faces while I read them. Is that scary or is it cute? Jackie, this isn't Jackie's book club. We have to get to the shoutouts.

This isn't just for you to just ambal on by yourself. And if you do want to hear that, again, go over to Jackie's book club. There's many, many hours of that. But first up, we've got Alexis. Oh, my goodness gracious, Alexis. Alexis says, I've been listening to page seven for almost a decade. Wow! And being almost exactly the same age as you, Jackie, well, two months older than you.

Almost of a day. It kind of feels like we've grown up together. a little bit. Oh, excuse the parisocial creepiness. I love the parasycial creepiness. Thank you, Alexis. And we have been growing up together, especially over the last 10 years. I hope you grew up as much as I grew up,

but maybe you didn't have to grow up as much as I did. But maybe you did. Alexis says, I'm so grateful to you guys for being a consistent source of feel goodness for me throughout some of the most challenging times of my life. Aw, as you undoubtedly have been for so many other listeners.

I never sent it an email or a shoutout for anyone until now, but I've definitely interacted with all of you on Twitch streams. Dolly, pardon, hello! The three of you have been nothing but lovely to me in each and every reaction. My sweet, hilarious, and much-beloved dad passed away from complications

of oral cancer this past November. I'm so sorry, Alexis. He was absolutely my kindred spirit. We understood each other like nobody else. When I became a mother in all, August of 2022. Congratulations. His eyes shined with pride in a way I'd never seen. We lived in different cities, about 45 minutes apart, so we'd face time every day. He would take approximately 500 screenshots of the baby every single time. He was diagnosed with cancer in January of

2023 when my daughter was around five months old. Last year on my birthday, June 16th, 23, I sat with my sweet dad in a cramped office in a cancer clinic in my hometown and held his hand as the oncologist told us he was terminal and that he maybe had a year left to live. All this on my stupid goddamn birthday, which hilariously happens to fall on Father's Day this year, which will be the very first one without my dad. Sorry for this to become so long-winded, hell no, but I was having a sad moment and literally thought, I want to listen to my friends and turned on page seven. That's how much good you guys do. Stop. If you could please shout out all the other listeners who are going to have a bummer day this

Sunday, you're not alone and I'll be toasting to all of you with a cool bud light. Happy pride, Dad's favorite, and crank some Elton John in his honor and also probably cry a lot. I love you guys. And Alexis, I'm so sorry that we got this in after Father's Day. But I want you to know that this goes out to absolutely everybody on this Father's Day at every Father's Day. Thank you so much for sharing just a little piece of you. And we really appreciate that. And I appreciate just sharing just, you know, these connections we have with people that are so important. And when they're not there anymore and you feel so lost, it's the connection we have in each.

other that's still there, of remembering and going through memories together. And I just want to say, I know that it was obviously very rough. I hope you did smile on your birthday slash Father's Day as well, Alexis. I'm sending you so much love. And I'm sure this year was so fucking hard. And unfortunately, Father's Day, Mother's Day, it's difficult time of year. Everybody's got some issue, unfortunately, with it. And not everybody, but it's good to be good to those who do and remember that we are here for each other. I love you, Alexis, and I loved your dad too, and thank you so much for writing in your shout-out. Now, I'm continuing on, continuing on.

Kel also has a shout-out. Kel says, I'm 61 years fun, and I've been a fan of the LPN Network since it was Cave Comedy Radio. You've all brought me so much joy over the years, and I never needed to hear your voices more than in 2016 when my 29-year-old stepson died of melanoma four days before his 30th birthday. I'd been his step monster, a most affectionate term of endearment, since he was four years old. His biomomom and I realized pretty early we needed to cut out the middleman because we're all about loving these beautiful children. And resentments and power plays from her ex had nothing to do with nurturing our children. Fuck yeah, Kel.

We are on an amazing parenting team, but nothing could prepare us for watching our boy slowly die of cancer. And guess what I wanted to tell the world is that if you're in a blended family, just love and nurture the children. Let go of resentment for the X and love, love, love those beautiful children. A blended family can be a beautiful thing if you focus on what's really important and you can build incredibly meaningful relationships

if you let go of the anger and hurt from a broken marriage. Always advocate for your unique, beautiful children. Doesn't matter if they sprang from your loins or born later in your heart. Love them, nurture them, and know that while they should outlive you, that's not guaranteed. My stepson and I listen to LPN constantly

as he went through surgeries, radiation, and chemo. Roundtable of gentlemen and page seven were our favorite, because when you're going through something terrible, hearing lovely people saying the worst shit with such joy and humor, it was the best medicine. You guys kept us laughing instead of crying on the worst days. I cherish those memories. Thank you, love you, Kel.

And I'm sending so much love out to you and to the rest of your family. And thank you for sharing, taking such... a difficult memory and emotion, and for turning it into positive words to share with other people. Believe me, I know that's not a fucking easy thing to do, but you're right. Take care of your kids. Give your best to your kids. And put the hate and the anger aside, which I know, easier said than done. But I just want to say, congratulations, Kel, for doing that and for blossoming with your ex.

I this is this was a beautiful shout out thank you so much for writing in and I'm sending you guys so much love and last but not least oh what an amazing part of our twitch community share force share force is a huge part of our um I know that I feel like we shouldn't say family because I know that sometimes people say the word family is a way to like manipulate but man we do have a fucking family over on the Twitch chat and share Force, you're a big part of that. Shareforce says, I want to shout out myself and boy, do you deserve it, for doing a three-week, 3,000 kilometer, which is 1,864 miles, road trip around New Zealand by myself as a quadriplegic and wheelchair user. Before my accident, I used to thrive in traveling alone and have really missed that freedom before life became a whole lot more complicated. At the end of last year, I went ahead and chose to get my colostomy surgery so I could have more independence and travel again without the anxiety of bathroom business. And I set this goal for myself to go on a solo road trip to visit my sister up north. It turned into a much longer trip than I had originally planned, and I got to go to my little sister's baby shower, visit my parents, see my other sister's new house, hang out with my nan, and go through all our old slides, and make them digital, vintage shopping, my little heart out, and the best of all, I got to meet the lovely cruise energy from chat, who is another beautiful, amazing member of our chat.

We had our own wee road trip to Hobbiton and back. And ah, you're too sweet chair fours. And I'd like to give a second shout out to Jackie and Holden and all my other chat friends because without Jackin, we wouldn't have the friendship we have today. Y'all are just the best. I only fell out of my chair once. Luckily, I was put right back in again by some helpful gents and I only scraped my elbows. I'm sorry.

And I kept on rolling. I'm back at home again now so you won't have to worry about me anymore, Jackie. I was very worried about you, Sheriff Force. I'm burnt out but content with this achievement and I'm excited about where I might be off to next. Thank you so much, Alicia, for sharing what a wonderful, beautiful, positive experience

that you just had and I'm sure it was so scary to choose to do this. And bitch, you fucking did it. Hell yes, you're out here currently. inspiring other people to take things on themselves, even when it's scary, and even when you think maybe I shouldn't be doing this right now. I just want to say, ah, I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for you. And we should all be inspired. Let's do something this week that maybe we thought previously we couldn't do. Let's try it. There's no better time like the present. I love you guys

so much. I hope you're having a beautiful week. And don't worry. We'll be back next week. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.