Page 7 - Ep. 546: Olympics Are So Not Brat

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

This week Jackie and MJ are all about the US Women's Olympic Gymnastic team, while Holden declares himself an ally of the Glorious People's Republic as they goss' 'bout the Opening Ceremonies and the amazing finale featuring Celine Dion's incredible return to public performance as well as the "satanic" performance featuring Gojira and a dinner party that got a lot of people upset, Snoop Dogg does the crip walk while holding the joint shaped Olympic torch during the march to light the fire, Jackie can't make the list ALL sex things ALL the time, so she's THRUSTING IN a mini-list of Olympic sexcapades! Lady Gaga, whose Olympic performance had to be prerecorded because of rain, may have dropped she's engaged again. Holden goes over his Comic-Con experience, which includes Robert Downey Jr. being included in the MCU (again), and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: The REAL Reason Why Tom Cruise Does His Own Stunts and a list full of Behind the Scenes tidbits from famous tv shows and movies, Blindz and the shouts!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, this is Jackie Zabrowski from the Last Podcast Network, and ooh baby, do I have a juicy treat for you Law and Order SVU lovers out there? And it's a new parisocial relationship. Check out That's Messed up, an SVU podcast on the Exactly Right Network, hosted by two of my comedian friends, Kara Clank and Lisa Trager. Every week they break down an episode of Law and Order SVU, the true crime it's based on, and chat with an actor from the episode. I'm talking Margaret Cho,

Matthew Lillard, and if you slip and slide at the thought of B.D. Wong, we'll get your ears prepared because it's getting wet out here. Check out, That's Messed Up, for all things SVU, unfiltered hot takes, and more. Again, that's That's Messed Up, an SVU podcast available wherever you get your beautiful podcasts. New Epps every Tuesday, and that's not messed up. All right, it's a bad joke. Are you prepared for mouth trumpets? Brap Brap Bamp Bamb Bamb Bha Bha Bha Bha Bha Bha Bha Bha Bha Sudey Lee you got Bap Bha Bha Bha Jade I'm here for you bitch I'm upset because you're listening to page 7 right now You already know what happened in the Team USA finals, but currently, I actually have a live screen up that is just silently putting up what is going to be happening during the gymnastics finals.

I must find out. You have a screen up, Jackie? You're going to be so distracted and excited. Well, no, it's not showing anything. It's not showing anything. It's just the AP updates. It's just literally the text of it. No, it's none of the smiling parts.

It's just the work side of it that I need to know. It's going to be like, remember when Holden was trying to get Erez tickets, you know, and he would just occasionally just give like a whale, like as if he was being stabbed. You know, I feel like that's, but hopefully it'll be the opposite. I feel like what are we now? What are we trauma bonding now? What's happening right now? We are trauma bonding.

Welcome to page seven because Simone Biles, Team EOSA are in the house. Serena Williams in attendance. Biles' left leg is taped up again. She's working through an industry. And an industry, through an injury, I got too excited because I was about to start yelling about Simone Biles rising. I mean, and a predatory industry, I would say. You're right.

Don't, you bring it up. Don't you bring it up what she has been through, what they've all been through, all right? I know this isn't talking TV, so I won't talk about Simone Biles rising right now. I can't wait to hear you talking about it. I have to say, I've been really enjoying the Olympics. Whenever I watch the Olympics, it always reminds me of The Simpsons episode where Homer is trying to eat all of the crusty burgers to get the prizes for the Olympics. But like I told my kids about we've been watching gymnastics, of course, and I told my kids about Simone Biles needing like a break from being the best gymnastics person in the world because of anxiety. and they are thrilled to know that like really good people need a break because of anxiety.

And last night they asked if Taylor Swift ever takes a break and if she ever needs a break because of anxiety. And I was like, you know what? She doesn't take a break, but she should. And so it's led to a very nice and healthy and fun conversation. Thanks to phone bio. That is exactly what we're trying to do here. M.J., that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that.

And it's also a part of what. Simone Biles really wanted, I mean, not that she wanted to do, but had to do, was to talk about her mental health and what she needed to do for her and how important that is. Because like, especially in the world of gymnastics, you can die. You can fall the wrong way and die. I know. I know. Watching it live, watching the gymnastics, watching any of the Olympics live in general. I missed the part where the server showed their butt. But I, you know, it's, it's nerve-wracking watching something live. You were like, You're like, I really don't know what'll happen.

And hopefully nobody will get hurt. And the kids were like, does anybody get hurt? And I was like, yeah. Like, I still remember being a kid and seeing people get hurt. Like, it is kind of part of it. I mean, don't even get me started on the Blow Your Brains Out competition. I mean, I don't understand why that wasn't banned 30 years ago. Don't bring up rhythmic gymnastics like that, all right?

It is beautiful dancing, okay? It's different kind of ribbon dancing and we celebrate it. Yes, we celebrate rhythmic gymnastics. and I've also been showing the kids artistic swimming, which I didn't know what was a thing. I didn't know what was happening, but it is an Olympic sport. And yes, I do recommend it.

I love the fact that, like, you're trying to, like, be pro Olympics towards your children, towards your children ages six and five, which are not, like, the big, you know, watchers of the Olympics. Because you do forget how kind of boring it is, if you don't know.

It's slow. It's like, if you're watching it live. Wow. Yeah. Yes. It is, there is a lot of dead air, which they are not used to as children of the streaming generation. They are used to, they're not even really used to ads, although they're getting a little bit

more used to that now that they watch like YouTube sometimes. But yeah, like the relentless amount of dead air, warm up time. We've been watching synchronized. I'm like trying to find the flashiest, fanciest, silliest sports synchronized diving. Artistic swimming looks great, by the way. Artistic swimming is great. Well, and I got to say, shoutouts to the way that Peacock has organized. it because they've given me exactly what I've always wanted from my Olympic watching experience.

Well, there's two things I want. One is that I want it to be daytime and I want to be in a bar and I want the sun to be up and I want everyone else to be there in the bar. That's what I want first and former. It's the saddest part about not being in New York. I was lamenting this towards MJ earlier. I was like, I miss getting off of work, walking down to the bar. Everyone's watching the Olympics, drunk in the middle of the day. You join them. Everybody's screaming. Because here's the thing, you know, I want, I'm obviously I'm pro. specifically the USA female gymnasts, you know, obviously

that's my jams. I think that's a lot of people's jams. I'm rooting for China this year. I think it's mine. Honestly, they're all... I pick a different country every year. They're all insane athletes. I pick whatever one

you want to champion and champion them. Do whatever you want to do. I understand if you dislike our country and you don't want to champion our country right now. I get it. Find a different champion. These are athletes that have worked their entire lives to be at the top.

of their game to get there and we get to watch them perform. Oh my God. And in four years, think about this, in four years, it's here. It's in L.A. Wait, really? That's sick. I, oh. Oh, my God.

Wow. I'm not saying it in a good way. I think I'm very nervous about having the Olympics here. But yes, to go, just to finish my thought about Peacock, they have it so that if you have not gone ahead and reactivated, your deactivated Peacock. subscription as I had. Yeah, I didn't understand what you were saying. Yeah, sorry.

I said it's pronounced. Which I do call it that in my house and get intoance like, what are you talking about? But that's just part of the page seven inside joke linguistic experience. But Peacock is organized so that you could just be like, I want to see diving. And you know what? If diving's not on right then, you can watch replays. And you know what? If diving hasn't happened yet, it'll tell you when diving's going to happen.

And so you can watch artistic swivel. I don't even think that there's that many teams doing it. But so you can choose it. You can do, like, I only care about gymnastics and diving. You can choose whatever. And it is nice that they have organized it that way because nothing worse than being like, I want to watch the Olympics. And then you turn it on and it's soccer and you're not a soccer fan.

And so you're like, ah. But so you can really like, you can really not miss anything that you don't want to miss with the Olympics in this day and age of technology. And I do like that. think that's nice. Again, the only better way to experience it at the mercy of whatever the bar has on TV. Those are the two ways I recommend. Yeah. Oh, because then it really is. It just depends on where the wind is going to take your dandelion seeds. Now, Holden, you did get the opportunity to watch the opening ceremonies live. I was streaming with Amber Nelson while the opening ceremonies were happening on Friday. And I loved it because our beautiful Jack and

community definitely came through and we were able to watch a bunch of the clips as they were happening. Celine Dion's performance, can we? Can we please? Beautiful. We're talking about. We're watching people at the top of their game. And now we know if for those of us, I don't know if you listen to the talking TV episode,

where I watched, I am Celine Dion and I love Celine Dion already, but watching. her go through this and where her music is her passion and watching her go up there because she didn't know if she was going to be able to do it and she did it and she stuck and her body moved and she her whole body moved how terrifying honestly to perform like for the first time after you have been struggling with this illness that as she has described it has just completely you know taken control i it it is it is it is is, honestly, I'm so moved by the fact that she performed. I feel like it's like, exactly.

I hope Simone felt it in her bones. In my brain and no one else's brain, Celine did it for Simone. And not all the, you know, thousands of Olympians that were also there and also from a country that technically Celine Dion does not hail from. But what if she did just do it for Simone? Yeah, I mean, what are we going to do? Root for Canada.

But that's, yeah, it also is very funny watching it with the kids because they're like, are we rooting for Team USA? I'm like, I mean, I get, if you want to, I'm like, whatever. If you want to. You know, root for who you ever, whoever you. We're rooting for everyone to have fun, you know, that's what. I just hope, though. I was like, yeah, I'd be like, bitch, I'm rooting for Brat Summer. And they're just like, what is that?

Is Brat Summer competing? It's like, it's a moment. It's a vibe. You know what I mean? They're just like, we hate the Eurobians. It is interesting, too, that Brat Summer does directly. go against the idea I feel like of what I get from

like specifically like Simone and Sunni Lee and Jordan and Jade and and has yeah. They're not, they're not sloppy, messy like having a time. They are right. Olympics are so not. It's so, Samoan.

I'll sing it to you. Yeah, they're not such a la. They're not really that. No, no, because they can't. Because they don't have the time to because they have to always be thinking about the medal at the end. But also, I'm assuming that this is the last time

because Simone Biles didn't even expect to perform during this Olympics. I know. She thought that it was gone. I thought she was done too. I didn't know that. But man, she rose up. She didn't want to.

She was like, that's not how I'm going out. I'm going to be, technically, everyone's saying she's too old to be doing this. She's too old. She's 27. And like that you're supposed to be retired by now. Yeah, it's like ancient. And I need to know.

I believe it's ancient in gymnastics. I will say I'm not that familiar, you know, obviously with the rules. But I would assume you don't want to be like throwing yourself through the air. She's a geriatric gymnast. Yeah. I mean, it's brutal out there. Yeah. Jariatric gymnasts out there.

All right. Okay. Okay. Let's talk about the opening ceremony because my problem is every year. It happens every four years. I've got the memory of a gerbil. And I'm like, why would I watch the opening ceremony? That sounds stupid and nationalistic and boring.

And then every year I'm like, of course I should watch it. It's a big spectacle. I love a big spectacle. Yeah, it's like the best part of the whole thing. Also, it's the spectacle that's trying to hit as many like different, trying to appease as many people as they can. And obviously they did not appease them enough. I loved what Paris did.

with this opening ceremony, because for those of you that are living under a rock over these last few days, because no matter what area of the internet you find yourself in, there were people either celebrating or ripping apart the opening ceremony to the Olympics. And of course, the people that loved it are my kind of people. Because it was satanic, allegedly. Well, technically it was, I mean, it was Greek mythology. and it was also history, sure. Yeah, there was a heavy metal band. Like, O'Gira did perform,

and they were like, the beheading of Marie Antoinette. So fucking metal, dude. It was awesome. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, it was cool. It was cool. I mean, I think they, like,

I know that, well, we'll get into the Dianysis thing in a second, which I don't think was trying to be offensive in the way that it was taken. But for the most part, like, yeah, I think that a part of their whole, thing was like, hey, we're going to kind of go there and be, you know, be a little over, because that's like the French way.

We're going to, we push boundaries and, I mean, all that stuff. I love making Americans uncomfortable. I feel like that's like one of their big joys in life. So I think that that's, I say let them, let them fly. Yeah, it's awesome. I think that's great. But of course, you know, I, such a Christian move to think that everything is about them and everything's an attack on them.

And that's why I love the confusion around this fucking last supper. Oh, a bunch of people are standing around a long table. It has to be the last supper. It couldn't be anything else. Like, as if, as if there's never been another situation where a bunch of people would stand around a long table. And like, if you're going to, especially if you're going to block a scene and it's a dinner scene and they're all standing around a table, you're not going to have them

standing in a way that their backs are to you. So, of course, it's going to evoke. Like, but of course, immediately it's like, it's last summer. They're attacking, I believe it's just like, no, maybe they don't even think about you. You know what I mean? Maybe they're just totally doing something completely else. Yeah, no one's thinking about you, Candice Cameron Bray and no one's thinking about you. I love this whole story with Cameras, Candace Caber Bray speak, being all pissy on social media.

It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's horrible. And then everyone's like, she came out. She said it's completely blasphemous. She said it's downright disgusting. thing. And my favorite is when people told her it was inspired by the festival of Dionysus. Candice Cameron Bray fired back. He is a god of lust, insanity, religious ecstasy, ritual madness. I still don't see how that relates to unifying the world through competitive sports

and acceptable for children to watch. Fine. Take your children somewhere. I just, it's so. And then. Oh, shut. Oh. Do you have a rebuttal? It was truly. I don't have the article up. Do you have your rebuttal when everyone's like, it's actually not at all of. about the last supper. It's about the fucking Dionysus and all this stuff. That is what I just read. No, no, no, but it was muddled to that being like, oh, okay, her being like

I'm so sorry, I did realize I was enraged. I know, we're in rage. We're in rage. We're in rage. The idea of it. It's absolutely ridiculous. It was very much, well, nevertheless, you know, because it was like, they disrespected the last supper. People, it wasn't

the last supper and she's like, still, he's lustful. You know. It's a god of lust. It's a fucking ancient Greek god They're not coming for you bro Dionysus isn't No one's like Worshipping Dionysus

In a giant mass What no one's coming for you dude I love it was such a yes it was my favorite Type of big mistake to make which is Getting really upset about something That didn't happen and then you're Told what it was and then she's like Okay that wasn't it but I'm still upset

Also you're upset that there's drag queens Yeah you're mad because you're upset Yeah you're upset because you're a bigot, and you saw shit that bigots hate on a TV on like a giant global scale. And so you're trying to twist it into some attack on Christianity when it's like no one's coming for you, bro. But of course, Candace Cameron Bray was not the only person saying this. Of course. Widespread.

Of course. Internet. Very, very upset. But she's a great face for it, honestly, because it allows me to dip right into my absolute favorite low-key celebrity Flaymore, which is that betwixt. Jody Sweeten, aka Stephanie from Full House, and Candace Cameron Bray, aka DJ from Full House, because they have been in a long and low simmering beef about each other's politics that you only can pay attention to. Honestly, I don't know. I really want to know what their conversations are like. Because it does, we've talked before about how the Full House cast is all in a text loop together.

They all kind of reunited after Bob Sagitt's death. They post pictures with each other. They call each other the Wolfpack, those two. and the actress who played Kimmy Gibbler. So, like, they are adult friends, but they have explicitly conflicting politics. And we all have that, which is why this is the most fascinating low-key celebrity flame war to me, because, like, we all have a friend

where we're like, oh, I hate that person's politics, but, you know, you're still their friend. Yes. But it plays out in this funny way where Candace Cameron Bray went on this, you know, huge diatribe about the, it's disgusting or whatever. And then Jody Sweeten just like sub-tweets her, basically. But like on Instagram, she'll, you know, just repost like an explanation of what it actually was saying, tell me you don't know anything about history without telling me.

You don't know anything about history. And this goes back years. Jody Sweeten has Instagrammed herself wearing a shirt that says the future is trans inclusive, where Candace Cameron Bray is just like a frothing at the mouth, anti-LGB bigot and stuff. And so Candace Cameron Bray kind of, right, became one of the faces of one of the crazy Christians calling this stuff satanic and devilish and stuff. And then we just have her little TV little sister reposting Matt Bernstein who does these great Instagram graphics explaining what the actual thing was. Like the line. And even if you thought it was a Christian reference, what's the harm? Why is it a parody and not a tribute?

Can drag queens not be Christian too? And it's just like I really feel like we all. have a friend on Instagram who we know from real life where like they'll post something on Instagram and then we'll post something on Instagram and we'll be like well I hope they see it you know and it's like that's just what's happening with this particular pair of celebrities which I think is really fun I'm it's like the satanic thing with the it's so funny to me because it feels so hack it feels so 80s it feels so like satanic panic but it's really kind of like it's it's a hit They just roll it out.

Is it ridiculous that that's still a quote unquote thing? That's what they got. People still can be like, oh, Satan. Like that's what they got. Man, you don't know nothing about nothing. Think of the children. They got a couple of greatest hits and they roll them out. It's Satan and they got, think of the children.

I'm just like, yeah. What about the children seeing this nice, beautiful performance? Hello, Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side. here to check in with you, see how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the Brynter Side podcast is for you!

Oh yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, doo-do factory. Boo! Kaka-like topics. and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free healthcare.

That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. Oh, what about the children seeing three sexy clowns go into a room together? Because, yes, right after their performance, right out. after the beheading, and then it was a Gojira performance. And then there was this, these three, I want to say, I guess it's not, I don't know what, I don't know if they were clowns.

I watched the clip of it, though, right? Harlequins. Three sexy people. Yeah, are they Harlequins? I didn't know if, like, Harlequin specifically is, like, I know it's a specific kind of clown, but I don't know what, like, justifies a harlequin clown for say. A fancy French clown, I would say would maybe be a harlequin. They were three sexy fans.

French clowns. And of course, of course, like three sexy French clowns would. They all start sucking on each other and they walk to this door and they give a sexy look at the camera and they close the door as if all three of them were about to have a bit of a menagerie twas. And of course, oh my God, you felt the assholes puckered around the world of the people that chose to be upset about this of like sexuality. How dare you also intimate the idea of sexuality that they don't show anything. Nothing happens. And so the people that are like, and now I have to explain what a menagerie twas to my 10 year old. Why? Absolutely don't have to. You don't have to if you don't want to. But also you can explain to them that people can be, you know, can choose to

be non-monogamous can choose to be Polly, can choose, you know that that's not like evil or bad or wrong, right? And what happens when you go to the zoo, huh? What do you say when you go to the zoo? Do you see those animals? You see the monkeys and they're not just. You want them to go to town. Yeah.

They're in their harlequin masks and they're going into rooms. Last time I went to a zoo, I got so excited because everyone was like gathered around a cage. It was like, oh, I wonder what's happening. And it was because there were two turtles fucking on a log and nothing to do. With the cage that they were looking at, everyone was gathered around to watch the turtles fuck. I'm sorry I keep bringing it back to full house, but I've had to explain way more shit about adult dating patterns

because of watching that family-friendly show. Yeah. Like, it's just the whole like, oh, you're introducing, what are you introducing to my children? Like, most family-friendly content just introduces heterosexuality to children. Right. As that being the only option? Why is that not bad?

And, like, there's a lot. Like there's just like a lot of kissing and stuff that like and heterose. There's a lot of like pretty explicit, you know, heterosexuality happening in family friendly content. I'm noticing it now because I'm watching family friendly content and the kids are like, why are these adults kissing and dating? And it's fine. I'm not like, how do I explain this to my children? It's just like, we live in the world and okay, I'll explain this to you.

But I do think it's so funny that people get so like, I watch this with my children. It's like, have you ever watched like a movie with? them like fucking watch frozen you have to explain hans to them like you there is a lot of heterosexuality that you have to explain it's just that if you don't see that is that the snowman do you explain to them why a snowman can walk and talk i mean there is my children can't be seeing they are going to think that all the snow people are going to be walking and talking brozen's a bad example because now they all you know i mean come on we're eating cats i mean alf is uh horrific you know it's like i have to explain yeah you can't eat a cat you know

You can't, you know, you can't, there's no aliens from outer space. I mean, where does it end at this point? But I thought the beheading thing was creepy and cool. And, I mean, I think that would maybe be a little like, whoa, for the kiddies. But I don't know. I mean, fucking rock and roll. But then you just get to explain the magic of theater to them, you know? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, and history. And history. The idea of, like, of who Marie Antoinette is, maybe it encourages that kind of conversation. And sure, maybe that's not the conversation for an eight-year-old. but there's portions of that story that can be told to the eight-year-old, all right? You can edit yourself, all right? They don't need to know, but yeah, sure,

the beheading? Awesome. It's a nighttime show, okay? So maybe, oh, my four-year-old, scare of it, it's a nighttime show. Maybe they should be watching the nighttime show. Yeah, I was also trying to remember. I'm like, did I even watch opening ceremonies

to the Olympics when I was a little kid? No, kids don't care about it. Unless you are like in the sport, I guess if it's something that like the kids are, into shore, but they got to be into it. Yeah, I don't, but I don't even think I watched that. That was it of my parents. I don't know. The opening ceremony is for adults. It's for old people. In the same way that Dick Clark's rocking New Year's Eve is only for the old people that stay awake, but want to do something for the New Year's. And I understand, the opening ceremony is not for

kids. I don't know. Maybe. There might just be like, I did, I follow a lot of like family influencers. and there was a lot of people that were like, we got our French pastries and our national flags and we're having an opening ceremony Olympics watching party. So I guess that... I would love to watch how upset they got.

Oh, beheading! Oh! Yeah, it's the French. I mean, they're going to go for. The French like to freak people out. It's part of a long tradition of Americans being upset by everything that the French do.

And the French are just like being a little bit you know, fun and sexy. And Americans have a panic attack about it. Yeah, yeah, it's great. Yeah, I welcome it. I think it's awesome. And it's like, what are you going to do? It's not even in America.

Right. So you can't even, like, try to stop it. They don't give a fuck. What are you going to do? Why even get outraged? What's going to change? Oh, I guess they did issue an apology, which pisses me off a little bit. Yeah, they issued an apology.

Sorry, it was so satanic. They should not have. Yeah, sorry, it was so satanic. We just got a little carried away. We just like that. We just like that red. man. We like that red man with the horns a little too much. You know what people are actually not going head to head about and that is the inclusion of Snoop Dog at the Olympics. I am not really and maybe

I'm just looking in the right places. I'm seeing no hate, even no hate towards Snoop Dog holding the Olympic torch and Cripwalking, which was fucking great to see. Very, very funny. And him walking so proud with that Olympic torch you could see how proud he was of himself but it did really truly look like a big old hogsland it just looked like he was about to go to town

this particular year it did and uh yeah it doesn't always look like a joint but this year it really did wow it looked like a joint there was a really cool Reddit thing I think where also by the way look up Crip Walk Snoop Dog Olympics it's delightful there was a cool like Reddit post where they showed the different torches for the past

like several Olympics and that was really interesting. Some looked like lightsabers. Others just, yeah, it was really interesting. It was what like the Australian one kind of looked like the Sydney Opera House a little bit. Like it sort of had, it was kind of clearly like based on that design. It's a really neat thing to look at. But that said, this one particularly looked joint like. More so than most other years.

Like it particularly looked like a fatty rolled up joint. But yeah, at first I was like the only thing that threw me up, I was like, Well, Snoop's not like an athlete, so what's the deal with that? But I guess, you know, later on in that article, it talked about Al Salma Hayek carried the torch at one point. You don't have to be an Olympic athlete, I guess. And that's interesting. I don't know. I wanted to try to look up.

I wanted to try to go down a rabbit hole of like, how do they choose who carries the torch? What is that process like? That's got to be really interesting, you know? Does every, I assume most countries participating or every country even gets to at least have someone carry it for a little bit? Interesting. The Olympic torch relay started in Nazi Germany. Whoa.

Yeah. Dark. Yeah. This is the time of year where I realize every four years, I don't know anything about the history of the Olympics. I don't know like what happened. Every year I'm like, oh, let's learn about like what happens to the Olympics during World War II.

And I forget, and the four years later, I look it up again. Oh, wow. Of course, there's lots of talk about the various, yeah, like the, you know, all of the geopolitics of it all. but I think that they're smart, again, to just put, you know, unifying figure snoop-dye. And he's, like, because it's, he didn't just do the Olympic torch relay. He's obviously commenting on these sports throughout these couple of weeks. But he's also doing this, like, content on the side with different Olympians.

And, like, he was just, like, swimming. I think he was swimming with Michael Phelps. And, like, Phelps was like, oh, here, do you want to put the goggles on? It's like, nah, man, I see better without him. And then, like, jumps into the pool. And it's just, he's so funny to watch. He's just so, like, chill. And he obviously loves just the idea of being a part.

Like, you can tell that this is such a dream come true for him that, like, watching someone be, like, not only do I get so excited to watch athletes at the top of their game, perform and compete, and have this, like, experience of a lifetime or just a couple of times in your life that you could experience. and sit. And then Snoop's there. And even there was, like, I watched some clip that was Simone Biles's mom, like, shaded Snoop because Snoop was so excited to meet her. And she's like, oh, actually, we met before. And, like, when Simone was little and she wanted to meet you and you, like, walked right by us. She's like, but now you care. And he's like, I love the Olympians.

And it was just like, he just went so effortlessly past it that. It didn't even make me dislike him because, yeah, he was probably just busy. It was just a little kid at the time. But, man, Simone Biles' mom, she fucking threw it down. I'll tell you what. Oh, man. Well, at least they were in the same room together, which clearly was not the case with the Beyonce video. But, man, is that a great video?

That got me hype for watch the Olympics. I had really been, like, keyed in outside of the opening ceremony. That was my opening ceremony. When I saw the Beyonce thing, I was like, yes. Yeah. USA. Beyonce is USA. Hey girls.

It absolutely hit me right where it was supposed to. Yeah, it was awesome. It made me want to be good for Beyonce. Yeah. It kind of made me, it made me, it made me, at a time when it's been harder to do that, even though I'm not like super like, me about it, it made me be like, yeah, that's the fucking America I'm about what's up, like that, you know what you mean? Like, kind of had that vibe.

Like, yeah, this feels like modern, cool America, you know? Yeah, she's just good at it. Yeah. Right. Like, she's just really good at being like of the, yeah, for those of us who like are a little bit ambivalent about cheering for the USA, Beyonce is just going to be like, you know what, let me, let me do it. Let me do it.

You know, like I feel like I've changed the perspective of my brain is that I'm not rooting for our country. I'm rooting for the athletes. I'm rooting for the people that worked so hard. Yeah, it doesn't have to have like a creepy nationalism to it. It really is just different. And I say pick a different. Yeah, I'm going for China this year.

Do it. I'm going for a different one every year. Next time, I think for the winter games, it's going to be Canada. I'm going to be Canada all the way. Pro Canada. All right. I'm fine with that. We'll watch the hockey games.

I'll watch them figure skate. Sure. Just throw a dart on a map and root for that. You know what you mean? Totally. Yeah. But I'll be too busy thinking about all the Olympics. Now, here's the thing, MJ.

We don't know a lot about Olympics in the past. past, sure. I mean, we could. It's there to learn. Have I learned? No. Oh, it's there to learn. We're just choosing not to learn it. But I did have some facts about sex about the Olympics during the past. And I was going to use this as our list. But, you know, I didn't want it to just, the list can't all be about sex, which is why I'm sprinkling a little mini extra list in the middle of this episode. because of course, so much conversation has happened about the anti-sex beds and just in general how uncomfortable they are to sleep on, which I don't know if you see maybe this is just my TikTok that has fallen into almost solely just TikToks from people that are hanging out in Olympic Village right now,

which highly recommend if you are interested to get your algorithm to start showing you that because I'm so intrigued because they're all shoved into one space and like there's no curtains on any of the windows they're all jammed into here it's like 10 people sharing one bed like one bathroom well they all have to get ready for the same events which is insane I I this is the thing about that's so fascinated me about all the fucking with this list you sent like I'm like I it's to me like the opposite of conditions right wanting to fuck like you're surrounded by people and you have to do the most important thing you have ever done. Like, you know, even when we were on tour, which is very fun and not the same thing as doing an Olympics thing, we kept saying like how glad we were that none of the three of us were chase and tail, you know, that we were all like happily partnered because it's a whole other mindset to be chasing tail. And listen, it's fun. But if you're thinking about trying to be your best, if you're thinking about like trying to get a good night's sleep so you can wake up and do a good job the next day, I don't know.

To me, it's kind of anti-horn. But these people are just so, maybe it's because they got so much testosterone energy going through them. I don't know. But they're. You have to release it somehow. And you think about it. They can't be drinking and doing drugs. They can't disassociate or compartmentalize in any other way besides getting off.

There is one way you could certainly de-stress and that's orgasming. because orgasming helps a lot. It's just so crazy to be like trying to be at your peak physical condition and perform on this level and then go sleep on a cardboard bed. There's also that. It's crazy. And then be like fucking in like a crowded alleyway. Right. Right.

Fuck it on like a golf course like in the bushes. Yeah. Especially because in the Paris Olympics, the organizers stocked up on over 300,000 condoms. But what I didn't know that at the Vancouver Olympics in 2010, a group of Canadian, German, and Austrian athletes had an orgy at a house outside the Olympic village. Yes, an orgy. A sober. It was a late night whirlpool party. It turned into a whirlpool orgy.

Jeez, Louise. I am so happy for them. I'm just so happy for them that they can be in this, like, stressful situation and still have an orgy at a house. hot tub. Like, God bless. But that or going outside of the Olympic Village to get the tale. Now, in 2014, the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, the massive rise in Tinder usage in the Olympic Village, athletes like almost completely destroyed the app. But then also in London in the 2012 Olympics, Grindr literally crashed. That's also my thinking is like, all right, begging all the Olympians, the people you're around.

Oh, you just saw them perform. Oh, it's like. You know, think about how bad you wanted to bang everybody at states when we were all competing for theater. Yeah, yeah. Like, you watch them. Which is theater contests, by the way, for people who don't speak that language. We're talking about the statewide theater contests, which were very horny. They were so horny.

But, like, that's the thing. You watch a 17-year-old perform as Jean Valjean, and you want to, oh, man, talk about, oh, I'll take your candlesticks away. Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. That's a more apt thing. Honestly, I feel like high school theater contest is a more apt thing to compare it to because everyone is young. Everyone's in like peak physical form and everyone is excited. And so it does, in that, when you think about it that way, it does make sense. But also, I mean, the grinder thing, of course, immediately made me think of how a couple weeks ago with the RNC, the grinder kept crashing because it was so overloaded. and, you know, very different events. But Grindr, bringing people together. Are they that different of events? The Beijing 2008 Olympics was referred to as a sex fest, according to the Olympic table tennis player. This led to a catchphrase for that Olympics, quote, more sex than Woodstock.

The Olympian who said this, Matthew Ced also recalled having had sex more often during the two weeks of the Barcelona 1992 games than in all the years of his life combined. Incredible. I will stop reading these sex facts. I just thought that it was so funny that I'm like, oh, I know it's not just me

that's obsessed with the idea of the fucking in the Olympic Village. Yeah, no, it's so crazy. It makes sense, I guess, but I, you know, I mean, obviously, you know me. I'm, I'm, let it go, let it go. You know what you mean? I keep singing to myself.

But I will say, I just, but also it's like, yeah, but I'm also not like at my peak physical form. Surrounded by all these different hot, ripped body types. Yeah. And the adrenaline. And especially like, if you like, after the competition's done, and especially if you're really happy with your performance, you want to be happy with a different kind of performance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

And these people, but the, yeah, that's the thing. But you also, I always hear, you know, you hear crazy stories about, you know, maybe certain, like, basketball players and stuff who have these, like, insane libidos. I think it kind of comes with the, you know, just the act of being incredibly athletic that you're also, like insanely horny. Yeah. Just exercise all the time. Those hormones are pumping through you, charging through you. You feel good. All the endorphins.

You're like, you feel like you're on top of the world. And you're so right, Jackie. And you're not getting drunk, super drunk, or. like eating like shit or whatever your other vices could possibly be. You're living so rigidly probably that like it's the one thing you can do that doesn't like affect anything unless you fuck too hard and break your bones in your body. I don't know. Maybe crack a rib or something like that. I fucked myself into jelly. Put myself into pieces. This is my last resort. No, don't invoke Papa Roach right now. That's right. This I will end the

the mini list just with this. Don't! Let's more, I want more! At the 1994 Lillahammer Olympics, German bobsledders tried to trade their gold medals for some quote, group fun with skier Carrie Scheinberg. Scheinberg told

ESPN, they made it clear that they'd trade me their gold for all kinds of other favors. I said jokingly, thanks, but Tommy Moe as a medal. I'll play with his. Tommy Moe is another Olympian, by the way, and I love just shooting him down, but I appreciate the fact that, man, how would you feel if someone said,

I will give you my gold medal if I could just get a taste? And maybe it's all the smut that I read, but if somebody said that's me and maybe it's like a walking, talking ice skate, I'll give it a shot. Monster fucker, extraordinaire. I guess there other things did happen this week that I know that we will definitely get into during the leftovers. And thank you guys for giving me the space. to be able to lust over the Olympics the way I needed to, because also if they are not getting enough banging in the Olympic Village, they can go to cabarets because apparently Olympic athletes are allowed into the cabarets in Paris for free. A local cabaret is offering free visits.

They say, come on down and get some free entertainment, everybody. And you know what? It does look like a beautiful cabaret. Yeah, you know, I just feel like France is doing its thing. They're like, come get sexy and weird with us. And we love a mass spectacle. And the Olympics is the biggest mass spectacle there is. And I feel like it makes sense that page seven devotes itself to the satanic fucking hotties. And also, speaking of satanic fucking hotties, even though technically not satanic, Lady Gaga, we didn't bring up the Gaga performance because it was really, it had to be pre-recorded because of the rain. And so they were so worried that she actually almost wasn't going to perform, but they ended up pre-recording it instead. But man, I know.

All right, guys, I know I shouldn't feel bad for Lady Gaga. But this did actually make me feel sad for ha. This video, so there's a bunch of headlines out saying, Lady Gaga seemingly engaged. Is she engaged? Oh my God, she's engaged? And it's because there is a video going around on TikTok where Lady Gaga was introducing her boyfriend, Michael Polanski, and introduced him as her fiance. And it wasn't even a video, like, necessarily of them per se. It was like shooting the Olympics.

And then they were just kind of in the forefront of it. And I think it kind of makes me sad just because a person should be allowed to say when they get. engage the way they want to say it. Sure. And maybe I'm feeling too protective of like hearts and love and hearts because she's like a huge performer. The balloon was immediately deflated by for me when I realized, oh yeah, she's been engaged like two or three times already.

So it's just like. Yeah, but like that's not, that doesn't mean it's not special. But part of me, I mean, we're obviously just speculating. But don't you think that, I don't know, part of you might, if you're Lady Gaga, might you just be like relieved that? you don't have to, like, do a big announcement. Like, it's just done. Just accident.

Oh, now everybody knows. You know what I mean? You're right. But I guess it just depends on what she wants. It depends on how much she wants to use it. Is does she want to use it in a J-Lo way? Or does she want to use it in, like, a reasonable person? This is me, dot, dot, gaga.

Gagga, colon a meat bitch. Yeah. Baby you'll be famous. Chase you down until you love me. You know what I mean? Yes. Maybe she doesn't want the paparazzi way. There you go.

She probably shouldn't be opening the Summer Olympics. Before we get to the conspiracy theory, I just wanted to give a quick shout out to the panel I did at Comic-Con, escaping the algorithm. Yes. Tell us about it. Yeah, big shout-outs to Hannah Hillam and also Kaveh Teherian of the 500 Open Tabs podcast. They were incredible.

They were kind of moderating the panel and everyone else on there. Lindsay Ellis, Patrick Belisteros, and Daisy, Noemey, it was a really cool panel about creating online communities in totally different ways like, who was it? Daisy runs the LA Zine Fest. Hell yeah. It's this extremely popular event that happens, like completely, you know, it's just wall-to-wall packed in a huge event space.

And, you know, so it's a completely different approach for someone like that. Or Hannah, who's a cartoonist, Kava, who both had booths at artists, Ali, by the way, as well as Patrick. And their stuff is great and go check them out. But, yeah, it was awesome. And yes, I was in, I was sharing, I was literally a wall away from Robert Downey Jr. When he revealed himself as Dr. Doom. I was literally like, you could hear it too.

They were talking about how Kava was talking about how it's like, we hear the brown noise all day. Because like right on the other side, the wall for Bartas Alley's Hall H, the Notorious Hall H, they do all the crazy. crazy drops. Where you have to like camp out overnight. To get in, yes. These people are insane. And it is a line so long. It will make your eyes crossed.

You're like, how are all these people this fanatical? But this is the place where fans go, right? So you could just hear, like, come and feel like it would. During our panel, there was some crazy other panel happening where the whole room was shaking at one point. I was just like, get a nice butt massage here. Damn. Gideon showed me that Robert Johnny Jr.

Reveal so many times. He was so excited. about it and I was just like, you're going to need to tell me. You've had to explain it to me multiple times. I was like, I thought he was Ironman. Like I was just like, well, that's the thing. They've been in a weird place. They've been in a really weird place. Like the multiverse thing has been kind of like

janky, especially after Jonathan Majors as Kang. He was supposed to be the next big villain. He was supposed to be the next like Thanos and then he got very rightfully canceled and removed from all that. And so they had to totally pivot it, and they've been in a weird spot for a while, so it was like, let's just bring back the thing that they like. And so the Russo brothers got up there and then revealed, you know, revealed Avengers Doomsday,

then Avengers Secret Wars. So I guess originally they were working towards Avengers Secret Wars, but then now this was their big, like, ace in the hole. They were like, oh, but before we get to Secret Wars, we have to introduce a very important villain. And then it's like, so first we're going to do Avengers Doom's Day. And we're, you know, and then he comes out. There's all the Dr. Doom.

standing on the stage and then he walks out from behind them. What's hilarious is if you watch the video, I've watched it a bunch of times too, and you can hear one asshole in the crowd right, like a hush goes over the crowd right before he removes the mask. You just hear someone go, Jared Lado. Yeah, yeah, I didn't tell me that.

It's so, like, that guy's such a dick, and it's so funny because it's in every video because, like, no one else is talking in that moment. And then Robert Downey Jr., and, yeah, I think at this point, like, because I was talking with, so I went to Comic Con with Rob from the network and he's a huge, he's all, I'm glad I was with him because he's like a super fan.

He was like, I got to do Hall H one of these years. And I was like, are you kidding? No. You're going to sleep on the concrete or whatever it is and fucking, just insanity these people. But he was explaining like, I mean, now, you know, they have the multiverse.

They have, you know, they have all this stuff to work with where they could they could maybe make him, you know, exist in the universe and sort of still, but it's a weird move because Dr. Doom is not wisecracking good times R.D.J. like Tony Stark was. But also, like, Jeff was explaining to me like the backstory of this character and how it really does play largely into the character and his Romani background and that Jeff was actually, that a lot of the internet is superflued. prize that they did not cast someone of Romani descent that like they could have been but I think

that like but then it's because like the what's his name Jonathan the Kang the guy that's supposed to play Kang the bad bad person yeah and then also other I don't know if Flash is a part of this bad other bad person as I know that they're making they were like they fucked up a couple times so they needed to do something that was like hey guys we're doing this for you they needed to do something that was like big. The intersection of who's canceled in what universe is very funny. That's very funny. Yeah, I don't, yeah, I can't remember.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And I didn't even know this. Rob told me this. They didn't have one last year. They didn't do a marvel thing, I think, because of the strikes and stuff. So it was like no big MCU presence, which apparently was really cool because then the, the convention was a lot more about the artists and the comic books and stuff.

So in other words, the convention became. what it used to be about a little bit more for one year. And like sales were amazing for all the artists and stuff. And then it went right back to being insane. But they had to bring it this time. And this is a wild swing. I kind of agree with the one tweet that was like, this is either the dumbest fucking cringiest casting decision of all time

or the most a brilliant 4D chess casting of all time. And there is no in between. So we'll see what happens. But it's a very divisive, interesting thing. But I mean, hey, in terms of hype, in terms of like making everybody go hold, shit and all that stuff. It was a big, you know, that mission accomplished, I think, you know.

I mean, and they needed, they at least needed that. So anyways, all right, hit me with the share. Do you believe it? The real reason why Tom Cruise does his own stunts. Ooh. Too short to find a stunt person. This one comes in from Mary Beth, who writes, first and foremost, hold nators, now that that's out of the way.

Does the chuckling fish fucker Tommy Boy Cruz do his own. stunts because he knows it's the only way out of Scientology. After a deep Reddit dive while my toddler is watching Miss Rachel, shoutouts, by the way, the witch, we call her. I found this theory, because she puts your kid in a trance. We all know that our favorite and only known fish fucker is the epitome of Scientology, but the grip they have on his balls is only outdone by the tight suckage he gets from his sweet, fishy love sessions, but not too fast.

now I'm listening to the Miss Rachel favorite this is up and I see on Reddit that scientists don't die so Tommy wants to do his own stunts because he won't die what is this fuckery

he could just as easily get a bacterial peen infection from a big old catfish mouth so maybe he's just doing stunts for fun and fish fucking for the danger either way Holden you are my lump king Jackie is the goddess I always knew I needed

and MJ can do no wrong love you all Mary Bird Luger Beth On Wikipedia, there's an immortality section for Scientology. I went and looked. It includes this passage. At death, the spirit will leave the body. Life and personality go on. The physical part of the organism ceases to function.

Scientology believes in the immortality of each individual's spirit, therefore making death not a significant worry. The spirit acquires another body necessary for growth and survival. The primary goal is to achieve an individual's true identity. So there you go. And is his true identity a fish? That's my question for you. Do you think he's fucking the fish

to put his soul into the body of the fish so that hopefully he will come back as a fish that will be caught by his own son in the waters? It's beautiful. It's interesting because I think even if you took the Scientology part away, you could still just argue that he's such a self-obsessed

like megalomaniac that he probably thinks he can't die anyway. Like I've just always assumed he can't, he does his own stunts because he doesn't, like he's too confident to perceive of his own mortality. But putting in the theology bit of it where it's like, well, even if I die, then I get to like ascend to the, the heavy side layer or whatever the fuck, you know, that actually It's definitely the heavy side layer. Yeah, they should go to the heavy side layer. I feel like that makes so much sense. But then also, isn't it just so that everybody can tell him what a big boy he is? Yeah, I think it's mostly because it gets him hard, and it's probably the only thing outside of fish that keeps him hard, but is being able to be like, I can flip. So, and just being

so tight and him just thinking about the coconut cake he sends every year for Christmas, and I feel like that really like spurns him on as well. But I guess I believe. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely believe. Absolutely. The band does not believe he will die. No question about it. Fantastic. There you have it.

We're believers. We're believers. We're believers. We're believers. And we're believers that are moving on over to the list. Oh! Who's on the list? Jackie!

Gotta have that list. Honestly, chose this list for the first tidbit up on the top behind the scenes tidbits from famous TV shows and movies just because I thought this was... I think it's because my sister-in-law, Natalie, loves Roseanne. And I had never really gotten into Roseanne before, but I had started watching some episodes of it, Roseanne Barr displayed a list of her enemies on the door to her dressing room on Roseanne. Not trying to hide her aggravation towards the crew, Barr prominently displayed a memo addressing the people who are going to be fired if they're not nice to me. This included,

quote, everybody, dot, dot, dot, dot, all producers, all writers, all subject to change. This is one of those anecdotes that really changes depending on how you're feeling about Roseanne at the moment. Yes. And unfortunately, the way I've been feeling about Roseanne for the last- poorly. It's poorly. It's been rough. Because that's a thing.

I was like years ago, I tried to watch it as a way because I knew. And I'm saying Natalie loved Roseanne from like back in the day. This is not like a current like back in the day. It was amazing. It was groundbreaking. Oh, yeah. Ground. Wonderful.

Totally. But her as a person. Right. is a nightmare factory. So that's why I'm thinking about this of just like, man, what a crazy bitch thing to do. Right. Threatening the people that are working so hard for you that you're going to do that. It blows my mind.

But like even if I didn't know that Roseanne had descended into like the madness where she is now, like I think there is part of me that could see this and be like, because I had such fond feelings for the actual show that I could see this and be like, bad bitch, you know, threatening to fire people. Oh, yes. The portion of me that identifies with Kelly from Milf Manor. Yes. Highly looks at this and goes like, I mean, it's a little funny. Yes, yes. If you're trying to like stir shit up.

Right, right. Because, yeah, man, I just had so much admiration for her. But then, yeah. Honestly, it's kind of in the way where like many, many years ago when Trump would say a horrific insane shit, you'd laugh at it. Right. And now you go, oh, God. Oh, my God. Eddie Murphy got plastered to deal with the toxic environment on the set of coming to America. Eddie Murphy and director John Landis clashed a lot on set due to Murphy coming into this movie already such a huge star.

After, quote, some weirdness between them, co-star Arsenio Hall gave Murphy vodka to calm his nerves. and he immediately downed the whole court. Murphy later said that was the first and last time I'll ever drink. Wow. First time. First and last time. That's what he said. It kind of makes sense to me because he's so like, I don't know, he's just so calculated.

Yeah, he's disciplined. He's disciplined. Yeah. And I, he's that kind of guy. I didn't know. And also I bet a doing something like that where you get really drunk on a set and most likely I would say embarrass you. yourself, that'll certainly, ooh, that'll certainly keep you off the bottle for quite

sometime, or at least it should. So my favorite thing about the Super Mario Bros movie with John Lozano and Bob Hoskins is the fact they were just, they just realized they were in a bad movie, like a little ways into shooting and they just started getting fucking hammered, just day drinking every day. So fun. Talk about annoying people, love this little tidbit, but Bill Murray took to being his annoying character in What About Bob a little too well.

Marie went method with his character, Bob Wiley in the film, seeking out ways to anger co-star Richard Dreyfus, including yelling that everyone hated him and merely tolerated his presence. He also playfully shoved producer Laura Ziskin into a lake.

Now, again, knowing what we know about Richard Dreyfus also makes me very happy because what about Bob is one of my favorite movies of all time. And I love thinking about the fact that Bill Murray is such a fuck and everybody says he's such a fuck. But to

use your fuck for good towards someone that's a piece of garbage is delightful to see. Very fun. That's fun. Roman Polanski made Mia Farrow eat raw chicken liver in Rosemary's baby.

In the scene where the expectant Rosemary craves raw meat, the director had Pharaoh eat the liver take after take. Despite the actress being a strict vegetarian at the time. Good Lord. Every story from the 70s and 80s of onset behavior is just like, oh God, horrific. So crazy. The Exorcist was the same. It was like, yeah, they've horrible injuries and just terrible shooting etiquette, you know, with just torture for the actors. That is so nasty, though, especially if you're, the craziest is the

vegetarian thing at the very end. That's the kick. What the fuck? I wouldn't want to eat raw. I'm like a huge meat eater and I would be disgusted to have to do that. Or having to wear the same disgusting real blood shirt every day. Gunner Hansen had to wear a rancid shirt every day

in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Filmmakers only made one costume for leather face and it couldn't be cleaned for fear of its color fading. His shirt became so stiff and putrid after wearing it 16 hours a day. Hansen said after a month, quote, you could lean my suit up

against the wall. Disgusting. And I guess I will go, last but not least, Jonah Hill. Talk about another one of those. Not that bad, but still annoying. Jonah Hill tricked DiCaprio into poisoning himself. After getting tired of DiCaprio jokingly beating him up on set, Hill decided to get revenge

by purposely screwing up takes during a scene where their characters eat sushi. So DiCaprio would be forced to keep eating raw fish. After around 70 takes, DiCaprio fell violently ill and started vomiting. Oh. 70 takes. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Awful. I don't know. This is like the Larry David, uh, Kirby, enthusiasm gift of like, who am I rooting for here? Yeah. You know, kind of a race to the bottom. You know, just keep on eating that sushi. And that is my list for y'all. Well, I can't see the sushi.

Because I think I'm going? Line! Items! Oh, we can't see him! Don't be shocked if this director of a soon-to-be season three of the pay cable show just cuts the one-named actress entirely from the season. After she shoots it, he holds grudges. Zendaya, I almost included a long article talking about what's going on between the euphoria seasons right now.

There's a lot of shake-em-ups and really... the failure of the idol certainly is not helping anything, but Zendaya is really making boundaries of what she needs to come back to this. Yeah. And go for all. I said go for all. The article that linked to the blind says Zendaya and Euphoria creator Sam Levinson have an allegedly strained relationship after he turned his attention to controversial show The Idol

instead of Euphoria's hyped third season. And so I think it was- It's fascinating. She was trying to get pages from him, I think, trying to get scripts and stuff. And he was busy. And man, so funny, too, that it was such a clonker. I'm a freak, yeah. And you know, it's on it bad.

I love this because I feel like it's, it's like, it's like, it's reminding me of, I guess, the way that, like, Sarah Jessica Parker kind of blew up with sex in the city. and then it became this thing of like, well, she is a bitch and she needs more money and like, you know, Samantha hates her and whatever. And but then, but that kind of felt like that drama kind of felt like, oh, SJB is getting like, or SJP is getting too big for her britches or whatever, but maybe she deserved it. Maybe she didn't. Whereas this, it's kind of like a similar thing that's like beloved prestige show, except Zendaya like absolutely unequivocally. too famous to go back to that show now, right? Unless she gets exactly what she wants and like deservedly so. And the director has now kind of shown his ass.

Like he had made a really good show but then made such a shitter right afterwards that like nobody trusts the director. So it's this kind of fascinating like replay of a thing where you're like, what do you do with the show where one person gets so breakout famous that it doesn't make sense to return to the same show? Also is Sidney Sweeney, too. So is a cloud is. I was going to say. I'm sorry, real quick. US, Italy, and China are in the metal positions. They just don't know who's getting what's old.

And, you know, you're rising up as well. So I just wanted you to know. Good. Go China. Woo! Yeah. I mean, that's the thing, too. Sydney Sweeney, what's his name?

The British man from the who came in the bathtub. You know what he mean? I mean, everybody's. Jacob all right. Jacob all right. Yeah, and he blew that load and then the bad boy that Sabrina Carpenter's asking

not to embarrass her, licked it all up from the drain. Yes, please, please, please, suck it up. We remember, we remember, we remember. But yeah, so I just really love him licking that fucking load off the drain is all I'm gonna say.

We know, we know. All right, next up. We figured. Slurf it up. But it is wild. Like, it's wild how hard everybody and how hard they broke into film, which is really difficult to do,

and all of them. Yeah. All of them. And again, Hunter Cloud is too who's going to be in Kuku, which looks so good. Yeah, it looks awesome. Kuku looks too.

Is it, okay, hypothesis, did Sam Levinson, is he an untalented person who just had such extraordinary meteoric talent? Oh God, I was saying the wrong. I was talking about,

I'm sorry. What? He screwed it up. Hunter Schaefer. Hunter Cloud is to someone else. that I know personally. Hunter Schaefer. I was saying Hunter Cloudis,

so that's literally a whole other part. Anyways, yeah, whatever you say at MJ? Yeah, it seems like the fact of that the idol fell on its face so hard and euphoria, everyone in euphoria has blown up so much. I don't know,

I didn't watch the show itself, and I know you guys loved it, but I think it's funny to have something where the director is now kind of a laugh like collective laughing stack and every piece of talent is amazing. crushing it like killing it with their choices.

Yeah. So yeah, I mean, he's definitely not not brilliant. You know what you mean? Like he's definitely like there's too much good stuff in Euphoria to say that he's

to say he's like a hack that just got lucky, right? And also give it up for like the casting director of Euphoria because like also you think Angus Cloud lost too soon. But Angus Cloud, also had gotten it. He was in Abigail. Right. He was already moving on his way into the movie like sphere as well. That's insane.

It's crazy. It's crazy. So yeah, I mean, I would just, you know, but, but I do think maybe he can get a little lost in the sauce. I mean, it definitely, the idol was weird. I mean, I don't know, you know, but I mean, also, maybe he was, you know, working with the weekend wasn't a smart, I don't know. What were you, uh, O facing about? Does something happen in the lips? Jordan Childs fell off the balance beam, and I just, you know, I'm rooting for you, bitch. Get your china out of here, holding. Take that, Beyonce. No.

All right, here we go. Next up, get this once married, former pay cable actress drunk, and she will tell you all about the time the ginger-haired one spent hours trying to convince her to sleep with him. She's hot and she's British, and she was married to a man in a band. But now she's free as a bird and happy as a turd in the toilet. Oh, um, uh, Sophia Turner, Sophie Turner. Yes, the red-haired Brit, the one we love to. Ed Shearin. No.

Really? The other, no, yeah, he's different. Eddie Redmay. He's famous. Ari? Yes, Ari. Prince Harry. Harry.

Yeah. Oh. Prince Ari tried to sleep with. With Sophie Turner. Sofi Turner. Whoa. Why not? When?

While Markle's making jam. Jam? Markle's making jam. Allegedly. Harry's out trying to jam it in. Well, that's from making Markle open your eyes, bitch. He needs something else, bitch. Well, I'm so busy with a jam these days. Gotta make all 50, you know, little containers of it. Bit of the licking stick, eh, Sophie?

A bit of the lick and a bit of the stick. And she's just like, I don't fuck. I don't bugger, bugger, right? They say bugger, right? I don't bugger. I like to eat a burger And then my bugger You know what I don't

Yeah I think that's how they're sexual experience When I kept talking No one stopped me, okay? British people don't wait Don't tell us what we got wrong I'm gonna believe that we got it all right We got it all right

Yeah all the British people There's probably some Brits And hats off to you I'm all root for you a time or two as well This Olympic season A Royal's accent is hard to I can only do a royal's accent if I've been watching a lot of the crowd.

It's a very It's a very specific type of Very proper. Yeah, exactly. It's a lot more, you know, and I think we're quicker to go like full cockney. I feel like when we do British and Bruce. Always with the cocky. Always too, because we're trash.

Yeah, exactly. We're the trash. All right. Kids around here running wild. You'll be a bag of bugs in my pockets. You know, bag of bugs in your pockets. Like, what is that? You know, British people are stuff like it.

What are weird? Just in case. Just in case. All right, here we go. The illiterate one was barred from using one friend's private jet because she was treating it like her own rather than asking if she could use it. Oh my God. How dare she? Carly Claw.

Yeah, is the cloth. Wouldn't that be fun if she was just using Taylor's Suss Private Jet? I just, she is. To eat her out. I love that. I love her deep in the pie. She's in love with a football man. She's eating me out.

She's a passing dog. Yes. Send a pilot C8. And Taylor Swift flying a private jet listening to Chapel Road. Yeah, singing Chapel Road. No, illiterate. What does she do? Take it away from my brain, MJ.

You can't. It's happening in my brain. You can't stop it. Now it's in mine. Okay, she's annoying. She's been mentioned already. She, we are, I like to use her in a blind item way. She's fun to shit on.

But illiterate, right? A literate, yeah. Not Cindy Sweeney. We don't like to shoot on her. Before what she's most known for now, she was in a really boring show that has a one-word title. I hate the name of it.

It makes me sad. I mean, she's made, she's... The name of it makes you sad? She's making a fruit-based jarred... Megan Markle. Yes. I didn't realize we were staying in the royal

That's right It's a Harry Megan Tufor for you I think they're so I feel like Harry and Megan are the new J-Lo Like their blinds are always really fun And I have no issue with like making fun of Slash shitting on them I can't wait to watch the devil

I would do a Megan Markle blind item every week Right It's just like They're always fun And I feel like now I like feel kind of Ish bad for So it's a little less fun. No, we can't make jokes about Kate Middleton.

We understand that. But we can make as many jokes as we want about Megan Markle. Yeah, I think it's fun. Absolutely. Absolutely. Wait, so whose private jet is she taken? Harry's. Private Jet.

It's a man who loves to pretend to be a woman and made a lot of money doing that. And has a lot of movies that I've never seen that are... Tyler Perry. Yes. Apparently, Megan. Margo's annoyingly using Tyler Perry's jet. It's just such a silly blind, so I threw it in. It's so dumb.

I would love it. I want to watch them have a Kiki, though. I do want to see him, like, dressing her down for using the plane just all the time, willy-nilly. Can you imagine having a PJ to the extent of, like, stop borrowing my PJ. I cannot imagine. I do. Yeah.

And I, she's just such a like kind of sanctimonious person. The idea that she is just jetting around. I know. Is very fun. I like that. Yeah. It's, it's, it's a hilarious celebrity problem and I'm here for it. And that's it.

And I'm also here to be able to see again. I can see you guys look great. You know, a real Olympic village. style treat for my peepers right now. Jackie, which country is winning in the women's gymnastics? Yeah, what's going on? We got China up there. It's, we're at a standstill. We're at a standstill. We're at a stand still. Nothing else is coming. I'm not watching it. I'm just waiting for the updates. They're doing the stand still competition right now. It's a very difficult competition. They have to stand as still as humanly possible for 30 minutes. The Olympic staring contest. Yes, very. It's very. Jordan Childs fell off the balance beam. Giles says 12.733. It's a big disappointment. But the U.S. leads still remain strong. That's where we're at right now. Okay. There you go. All right. Follow it along.

You'll already know the answer to this, but we will continue. Hopefully I'll get airs tickets. We'll see. We'll try my best. You never know. You got to make it to the end of the episode to find out. Well, we made it to the end of the episode. Oh, my God.

We got to go. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us today. And thank you, Holden, for being blind for us. And MJ, thank you so much for just enthusing about the Olympics alongside me. And thank you to both of you for dreaming about the... the Olympic village orgies that we could have if one day, guys, I think we're going to get there. And by I think that means it's going to be here in four years and we will be here. So thank you, everyone.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You could follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with MJ and I on Wednesdays. Also, I've just been like randomly streaming the Sims about the town whenever I feel the need to. Because right now, we were just in a reality show for dates. We did not do seven perfect dates. It was very difficult. I had played for about three hours live,

and then I accidentally killed my own sim, and I had to start back over again. So, man, that's the kind of stuff you get to see over on Twitch.com forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. Very upset. Check us out on patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast weekly bonus episodes. We have the leftovers. A ton more stuff to talk about.

I got a lot more. I'm going to talk a lot more Comic-Con, stuff like that. It's going to be great. Jackie's Book Club as well. $5 a month gets you that. Add-free episodes from the main feed as well. It's such a huge, huge value ad. And at $10 a month, you can enjoy our Buffy watch-alongs.

That's patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Go over there to find out more on that. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Please send in your conspiracy theories, all that good stuff. Over at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And lastly, Twitch. TV forward slash holdonators ho. Twitch.tv.tv.

forward slash holdonators ho. I do my reality watchlongs on Mondays. We just wrapped up Charm. School season two. It was God awful. On Fridays we do Jacking with the Holies. 6 p.m. E.S.T. Check us out on Twitch.tv. So Jackie night party every single week.

My name is MJ and I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram. Sing the song to me, bitches. Shout. Shout. Shout. Shout. Let it all out These are the emails that you wrote it about

Come on I gotta read it up to you Come on Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah It's time for the shoutouts It's time for the shoutouts And you can send in your own shoutouts To page 7 podcast at gmail.com

Because we love to hear from you And I gotta say there are quite a few self shoutouts today and I am sliving for it, and I want to say thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to not only celebrate other people, but most importantly, to celebrate yourself because you deserve it. And you can, again, send in your own self-shoutes to page 7podcast at gmail.com. First shout-out goes out to, uh-oh, this is not a self-shout. This is a soulmate shout-out. This goes out to Davy.

Davey says, first, so much love. to you, MJ and Holden. Y'all are the best. I love you, Davy. Davy says, I'm writing because I am in need of a super special 30th birthday shoutout to my soulmate, Emily. For their birthday last year, we went and saw y'all's the release of Butthole Guts show in Portland, and y'all made it an unforgettable one. I figured this year having a shoutout from their favorite podcast, or would be just as awesome. Happy birthday, Emily. the person I am lucky enough to share my life with is so full of love and compassion. They are not only a full-time elementary school teacher, but they also dedicate every ounce of spare time they have to working to create a family-friendly safe space for queer

folks of all ages. I love this. Thanks so much for what y'all do. You bring so much laughter to our house each week, and it is much appreciated. And, Davy, you are much appreciated as well as your soul. mate, Emily. Thank you both for just existing, and I'm sending so much love to you. And Emily, oh, welcome to your 30s, babe. It gets so much better. Ooh, all right, y'all. Prepare yourself for a shift in energy because I just sat and watched,

Ashley, I watched your video about Bruno, and I didn't sit here and cry about a dog that I haven't met, but I do love your dog, and I love you, Bruno. And I'm sorry, Ashley. Prepare yourself. Prepare yourself for what I'm about to say in the shoutout. Ashley says, I want to give a shout out to the goodest of boys. My pup, my best pal and forever child. Bruno. Bruno came into my life when I was 23.

My boyfriend at the time, now husband, and I had just moved in together when we found Bruno, a tiny miniature pincher slash chihuahua mix with the personality of a Doberman. He's been by our side for every. major life event. Marriage, babies, our first home. No, three years ago, Bruno suddenly fell very ill. We thought we were going to lose him. I pleaded with him to stay for just a little while longer. If he could just make it to 16. I'm not sure why, but that's the number that meant something at the time.

I honestly believe he understood my pleas. He fought like hell, and within a few weeks he was almost completely back to normal. Yesterday, July 25th was Bruno's 16th birthday, and he kept his promise. He made it to 16. Unfortunately, today, July 26th, at 10.15 a.m., Bruno took his last breath and crossed the rainbow bridge. He held on until his birthday. For me, for all of us, I love you, Bruno. My heart is broken and I will miss him every second of forever. But I'm so grateful that I had 16 years with the goodest boy they're ever. was. Thank you for your video, Ashley. I'm sending you so much love. And I know Bruno knows how much you loved him and thank you for saving his life. Why am I reading the dog one in the middle? Now I need to take a

second. Um, did I just sit and cry for multiple minutes by myself? Yes, I did. And I'm sending you so much love, Ashley, and I'm sending so much love out to anyone that has ever felt lost before. I love you. Let's continue. Because we've now We've got self-shoutos, all right? All right, we're brushing it off. We love you, Bruno! Brito! All right, we're going on to self-shoutouts.

I'm not crying anymore. All right, self-shout. A says, I just wanted to give myself a shout-out. Hell yeah, A. On August 1st, I'll be celebrating eight years of sobriety. The past eight years have been a wild ride, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I went from drinking in the morning, getting fired from my job, and failing classes, to having a stable job, a master's degree, and finding the love of my life.

My fiance and I are getting married this fall, and I can't wait. I still can't believe how blessed I am. The past two years have been tough. We moved to a very conservative town in Texas, and I have really struggled emotionally and socially. But hearing you guys each week has grounded me and brought me a lot of joy and laughter. I've been listening to page seven for the past seven years. Can't believe it's been that long,

and I wanted to say you all are the absolute best. Thanks for all you do for the page seven community. And thank you A for treating yourself much better. I'm so proud of you. Eight years of sobriety is insane. And I'm sending you so, so much love. Oh my God. And have a beautiful wedding day.

I'm so happy for you. You deserve it, bitch. Um, congratulations. And I'm moving on to Lauren's shout out. Warren says, I work in early childhood education with toddlers to be specific. I've worked at the same place for about six years, and it's become a truly toxic environment. I should have moved on a long time ago, but a fear of failure has made me stay. Oh, I get you, girl, but not anymore.

I am starting at a new center next week. It's so hard to leave my current pipsqueaks, but I know that I need to make this move. So I want to give myself a shout out for being brave. I'm so anxious, I feel like I'm going to explode, but I'm also excited and ready for this new era of my life. Y'all have helped me so much. You have done so many difficult things and you're so brave. If you can do it, then so can I.

I love y'all so much and we love you right back, Lauren. Hell yes, take the move. Be brave. It's so scary, but you're already doing it. You did the hardest part, which is starting to make the change and I'm so happy for you, Lauren. Congratulations on your new journey. And let's say it's not the right fit for you.

That's okay. You already made one change. You can change again. Oh, sending you so much admiration. Love you, Lauren. And thank you so much for your shoutout. And last, but certainly not least, we've got a self-shout going out to Natalie.

Natalie says, I feel weird about giving myself kudos. You deserve it, Natalie. But can I give myself a shout-out? I've made so many positive changes this year and I'm really proud of myself. I started this year overweight and unhealthy and my doctor warned me of what would happen

if I kept on this path. Oh, I hear that. It was devastating, but was the wake-up call I needed. I put my ass into gear, literally. I made little changes. Walk to work, switch to black coffee, stop napping in the middle of the day.

Technically, I practice intermittent fasting as well. But that's just because I'm too lazy to cook more than once a day instead of any motivation to lose weight. It was slow progress, but it was progress. I went to the doctor yesterday, and I've lost 38 pounds since December. It's a huge accomplishment, and I definitely cried a lot when I saw that number, and I'm more motivated than ever to lose that last bit of weight around my middle that just won't go away.

But here's the thing, Natalie, you're already making healthier choices and doing that for you. And isn't that the greatest accomplishment of all? Sure, you know, we might not always be the weight we want to be, but it's working towards something for you, and I'm so proud of you, Natalie. Natalie also says, I also set a goal in January to write every day. I made a spreadsheet and started tracking every word I write. The original goal was 500 words a day, but I ran out of steam pretty quickly, and decided to change the goal to a monthly average of 500 words a day.

We are now at the end of July, and I haven't broken my streak. so much fan fiction and just recently started to delve into writing original works. It's scary, but building worlds is something I've enjoyed for quite some time. What does that mean for you? Well, I heard the call for standalone smutfix in the book club, and let's just say what I'm writing right now. Has tentacles involved? Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, yes. Please send it in whenever, even if you don't want me to immediately record it,

send it in, I'm down to read it, please. and for anybody else that writes your own smut, if you write something that you think that I would dig, I would love to record it for you for Jackie's Book Club. So let me know, hit me up, page 7 podcast at gmail.com, and Natalie, I can't wait to see what you've been working on. Natalie continues on and says, thank you guys so much for being in my ear for nearly a decade.

You make my days brighter and happier with your positivity. And, man, Natalie, just your presence, just knowing you're out there listening and working on you and to everybody that wrote in today, you know I love self-shoutouts because we need a space to be able to celebrate ourselves. It's a difficult thing to do. It's a difficult thing to ask of yourself. And I'm proud of everybody that wrote in this week and every week.

Thank you guys so much. You can set in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcasts at gmail.com or simply whatever you'd like. I love getting your emails. And I love you guys. Thank you so much for being around and being you. And I will... I'll be back next week. Bye, everybody.

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