Page 7 - Ep. 548: We Didn't Do A Jackie Birthday Episode

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

This week Holden, MJ and Jackie are gossin' 'bout the Raygun and all the Breakin' drama while NOT celebrating turning 37, Hawk Tuh girl has own comedy tour and everyone is finding out she's outta material, Flavor Flav continues to spread positivity by giving Jordan Chiles a bronze clock, a Tom Cruise masked Tom Cruise makes a less than thrilling stunt during the Closing Ceremony, Holden fires shots at RHCP and Jackie bows to the Golden Voyager. Holden and Jackie call out California's plan to get reliable public transportation set up by the 2028 Olympics, Celine Dion REBUKES Trumps use of My Heart Will Go On, Taylor Swift announces a deal with Swarovski to give a crystal gift to ticket holders effected by the canceled shows due to the foiled terror plot, and Blake Lively stuns in a Versace dress that Britney Spears once wore. In Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Was Zac Efron Cursed by Someone WHO CAN'T READ?! And in The List - Bits of Hollywood History That Deserve Their Own Documentary, da Blindz, Shout outs and MOOOORE Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey guys, this is Jackie Zabrowski from the last podcast network, and ooh baby, do I have a juicy treat for you law and order SVU lovers out there? And it's a new parisocial relationship. Check out, that's messed up, an SVU podcast on the Exactly Right Network, hosted by two of my comedian friends, Kara Clank and Lisa Trager. Every week, they break down an episode of Law and Order SVU, the true crime it's based on, and chat with an actor from the episode. I'm talking Margaret Cho,

Matthew Lillard, and if you slip and slide at the thought of B.D. Wong, we'll get your ears prepared because it's getting wet out here. Check out, That's Messed Up, for all things SVU, unfiltered hot takes, and more. Again, that's That's Messed Up, an SVU podcast available wherever you get your beautiful podcasts. New Epps every Tuesday, and that's not messed up. All right, it's a bad joke. And I guess, obviously, this goes out to Raygun. So what, we get drunk. So what, we smoke weed. We're just having fun.

We don't care who sees. We don't care who sees. So what, we go out. That's how it's supposed to be. Living young and wild and free. Just like Snoop told us too. Raygun is out here. Living Raygun's life.

And obviously you knew page seven was going to champion the champion. Reagan is here. And we're never going to hear about Raygun ever, ever again. So soak it all in, guys, because it's the one time we're most likely going to talk about breaking, I guess. Man, I, there was so much discourse about Reagan. And we're going to say up here at the top, we're not going to be engaging in the more deep cultural studies discourse about Reagan. Absolutely not. No, no, no, no, no, no.

And there is, there is interesting and important things being said in that realm. Over here, we're here for the memes. You know, it's great memes summer, 2024, okay? I just, I meant to look this up before because I do, my question, though, is at the end of the day, and if you're not familiar, if you're not familiar with Ray Gunn, you got to see the highlights. You got to stop this. Pause this episode right now. Yeah, yeah, you got to watch it. Honestly, it will just put a smile on your face watching this person.

and performing breakdancing. I think the best, like, joke tweet about Raygun is this is what my nephew does after saying, like, look what I can do. I mean, they're literally just, Raygun is just flopping around at points on the floor or just the kangaroo move. Sorry, just to back it up for everybody, just so that you guys are aware, breakdancing is new this Olympics. Yes.

They refer to it as breaking, and don't get me wrong, maybe it's called. breaking other places and I don't know because surprise, I'm not usually in that realm. But I am here to watch a bunch of breaking. And yes, I did while watching the Olympics. But Raygun really, oh man, Raygun put on a show for all of us. And now, if you haven't seen Ray Gunn's performance, it, I'm going to say it was inspired by the beauty of her country is what I'm going to say. because there's a lot of flailing. And yes, Holden did bring up multiple kangaroo moves.

And I would dare say, like, I don't know, artistic expressions that she incorporated into her moves. But there was a lot of just what seemed like almost throwing herself on the ground. My favorite was when she did the like bend over. Yeah, the jackknife. The jackknife, folding herself in half on the side of the ground. Jackknife this way.

Picture a Danny McBride character. Yes. Yes. So, yeah, or like, yeah, it belongs to like righteous gemstones, right? I can see them at the church, like one of the congregants getting up and doing that. Right, right. It's how Kelvin would break down. What expresses in righteous jumps, for sure.

So, okay, some clarity here. Let's get some clarity because it is, you know, for a lot. I think the best word you could use is baffling, right? Baffling is the most accurate and generous. How did she? get so far. I think the question is, is this a malicious act or is this a harmless act? Honestly, I sort of have an answer because this is someone who's directly connected with her, who co-authored and I guess an article with her. Lucas Marie, who's an anthropologist,

who is also a breaker in Australia and has been competing apparently for the past three or five years. He said there was an Oceania qualifier in which any B-Boy or B-Girl from Australia or New Zealand could enter, and that was in Sydney in October 2023. And leading up to that, there were a lot of other events in which breakers were competing. She won those battles, fair and square and won the qualification in Sydney. I got to see these other break. I got to see these competitions. The central question that everyone has been asking, and I'm talking about my friend who is Australia, texted our group chat and said, I think this might actually be the the best that Australia has to offer,

which is also what Jermaine Clement, who is New Zealander, said, I've been to Australia. That is the best breakdance that they have to offer. He said she's been fairly consistent, winning her coming second or third, and a lot of breaking events in Australia for the past five to 10 years.

It's not like gymnastics, he goes on. Where there's this kind of agreed upon standard. It's always had a rawness to it. It's always had an improvisational kind of quality. Oh, it's raw. It's raw, man. She is raw dog in this event. Okay. Whoever is the person speaking about Reagan, I think, might need to, again, this is, there is, I think it would be news to, you know, hip hop scholars that there's like no standards in breakdancing, right? So I think that's why everyone's so confused. Like, literally how did this happen? Also, she is a cultural studies. She has a PhD in cultural studies.

Very, very smart person. Very, very smart human people. Doing her thesis on breakdancing. And so there's just, why is the big question. This is what, I think this is what has. happen. I think she does have some skill, as evidenced by, there's this, like, video of her breakdancing. The kangaroo moves. Yeah, Holden. I brought them up earlier. There's this video of her, like, not in the competition, like in the Olympic Village or whatever, surrounded by people. Banging? Was she banging it out? She was breaking. And it was like, I would think, I mean, more normal. People were saying it was a lot better than her performance out. This is, I think, what happened. Because she even admitted this. I forget, I don't have the exact quote in front of me, but it's in one of the articles you sent. And she literally says, I knew I couldn't. I

couldn't match the, like, technical skills of my opponents. So her whole game plan was like, I'm going to come in and be the most out of the box, creative, just wild style. Yeah. That was what her mission was. I think that's what it was. She was overcompensating for her lack of technical skill. And in doing so, literally looked like she was performing an improv game where the

suggestion was silly dances. It's so funny. Yeah. Well, I'm honestly, that's. Because there's, oh my God, there's just been many rounds of discourse, one of which is, where the first round was so many funny things making fun of her, very good memes. And then another round was, is this too cruel? The whole world is pointing and laughing at her. And then a response to that was like, this is kind of either like disrespectful or to the art of breakdancing, or she's in

on the joke. And so it seems like we've landed at she's in on the joke. But then now the final round of discussion. after that is, is this still disrespectful to break dancing? I don't know. It's, I mean, again, that's why we're not here to weigh in on the serious parts, but it is such a head scratcher. Like, literally, how did this happen? Why did this happen?

I think she was having fun. Yeah. Yeah, and it was fun. I mean, I had fun. Yeah. And I just went up, by the way. But there are many other very talented breakers there, the Lithuanian breaker. Whoa, dude.

Yes. Right. And I think the fact that this was its first year at the Olympics, I think some people were like a little bit pissed off that she may have, you know, made a bit of a mockery. But I don't think she made a mockery of breaking. It's definitely not going to be in L.A. It's not going to be in L.A. but apparently it wasn't already, it wasn't going to be in L.A. in 2028 before Ray Gunn's,

mastery of the stage. Though I will. They didn't like have an emergency meeting and be like, you know what, cancel it. I will say, I think there is, there's, there does need to be some kind of standard. I get that it's like freeform dancing, but, you know, in skateboarding, you've got tricks. And I mean, in anything, you kind of have to have some more specific way to, like, rate, rank and judge things so that you can't just go up there and act like zoo animals. Yeah.

And, you know. Or free kangaroos. You never know. Free, they could be free range. Yeah, yeah. Imagine doing Olympic diving and then just being like, guys, watch this. And you go off and you do it make like a Superman pose or something. Yeah.

It's very bizarre. So I do think they need to come up with a better standard if they are. Apparently, hilariously enough, even though it's not going to be in L.A., the Australia games are looking to try to get it back in. So it might return to Australia. It's going to be only breaking. Yeah, it's going to be only breaking. Only, that's all they've got.

You've got to go all the way there to perform it. Yeah. And only kangaroos will be allowed to enter, which is another interesting. I'm not going to win. Lord knows what I'm going to pull out to try and win against the kangaroo. But my condolences is to Hawk to a girl, rest in peace. in terms of your fame, 15 minutes of fame. If you want to pause the podcast

to give Hocua girl a moment of silence, I totally get it. Because she's gonna replace by Raygun. Don't worry, Hoctua is already just having her own comedy tour. But then I think that everyone's also finding out that she's not a comedian. Surprise, you actually have to know how to put on a show. I do hope that she finds her thing.

But it was... I hope she finds her niche, sending a... love and light girl. All right, Hock Tua. Yeah, Hock Tua girl is funny. It's just that, right, we live in a really weird time where suddenly your whole life can change over one drunk thing you say into a camera one time. Yeah, exactly.

And that does not a comedy act to make. But you know what? I was here for Hock Tua girl. I was here for the memes. Yeah. And I have just, my emotions have been all over the place about Reagan. But again, the memes are good. The jokes are very, they are very, very plentiful.

And honestly, of all the things that we have to talk about over this weekend, I'd rather talk about Ray Gunn than talk about what is happening to Jordan Child's bronze metal controversy. I know. I know. It makes me so upset. I know. This is crazy shit.

And her mom is like she's not on social media right now, but, you know, thank you for. She's taking a break as she should. I know, I know. But thankfully, we have the Olympics have their hero. Flavor Flaves. Flava Flav. His name is Flavor. Please, MJ, Flavor.

We have him. Flavor. He will correct you on Twitter. I'm sorry. He will correct you on Twitter. He literally does it all day, every day. And I love that also about it. Flavor Flav.

He said out, and this was like a day and half ago, I saw the headline, that he was like, Jordan Childs, I will make you a bronze clock to wear around your neck. Nobody's got that shit. You will be the most unique. person you deserve to feel. And I was like, oh, man, look at Flavor Flav. He's just the cutest. And man, a day and a half later, he's already done it. It's already made. There are already pictures of it. Wow. Because for, I mean, we are a couple of days ahead of you guys. As of right now, they have decided that she is not going to be receiving the bronze medal. And now the U.S. gymnastics team is like

going to take it even higher. Yeah. They are still fighting this. It's still unresolved issue. Be based on their own mistake, right? Their own mistake. Yeah. It wasn't even Jordan Child's mistake. Yeah.

I was watching this as it happened in real time, and it was kind of crazy because the Romanian girl thought that she had gotten the medal and she was really happy. And then they, like, had, like, on the floor, they were like, actually, no, you didn't get it. It was Jordan Childs. And then Jordan Childs was really happy. And so, but like, it's, there's been all these other. It's horrible no matter what, though.

It's horrible. But it's like the story of the, another great meme. God, I'm going to miss the Olympics so much. I know, what are we going to do, MJ?

I need the Olympic. At one point, at one point they announced the bronze for La La La Land, which I thought was crazy. And it deserved the bronze. It was exactly right. Moonlight,

it was like that moment. But there was another, there's been other instances, right, of people just deciding to share the medal. And I don't think the Olympic could be even offered that, but that's what they should do.

But then there was that high jump Did you see the New Zealand high jumper who the video of him just like totally he was the one who ended up getting the medal, but there was a meme of like when you set the bar high and something happened with his run and he just wasn't going to make it. So he just jumped like a very gentle jump underneath the bar. Just like it's off like how any of us would do a high jump. But that was an instance where I think it was the U.S. high jumper was like, I don't want to share the medal. Let's do a jump off. But then the U.S. guy. lost and the New Zealand guy won. But anyway, point being, share the fucking medal guys. And I don't think that has even been an offer to Jordan Childs, but it's clearly the right thing to do. Obviously, nobody needs to leave the heartbroken for the rest of their life over this,

do they? I know. But also, if you think about it, this would be Jordan Child's first, like, individual medal. So maybe it's not for it. This would be her first one for her. So I feel like if I was her, I don't know if I would want to share it. Yeah, and listen, if I'm not at all trying to erase Jordan Childs deserving the medal.

I'm doing the parent thing. I know where you're, I like your parent. What if we could all be celebrated for all trying our best? And it's like this micro fraction of a point. And it was so close. And it was this technicality around four seconds or whatever. But I hear you. Jordan, if Jordan Child, listen, if Jordan Child deserved that bronze, fight for it, Jordan, Child.

I support you. I just, in the moment seeing the Romanian girl actually have the bronze taken away from her on the floor. I also felt bad for her. Of course. No, I feel bad for all of them. But we're here to play games, okay? Everybody gets a trophy. Whoa, MJ's pulling out the stops.

Yeah. This is why I will miss the Olympics, but also it is agony. It's very funny to watch it with my kids who are like, when somebody like, you know, loses or is disappointed, they're like, oh, no, they must be so disappointed. They made a mistake. And I'm like, I know. Like, we're all just like really worried about everybody's feeling. You're midsummering together.

You're all like holding each other and wailing together just so that you can feel the feelings as a unit. I would love to see it. But I don't know what we're going to do now that the Olympics are over, MJ. I don't know what I want to be. I don't know who I want to shoot for. You know, it's like, is it the moon? The Paralympics are starting soon. Okay, hell yes.

So we should watch those. I don't know if it will be as like the way that Peacock just designed itself to be like, I'm sorry, what? Pekok! Thank you. Pacoak designed our lives to be like, you never have to think about your entertainment for two weeks.

You just always have something to watch. And that, man, what a feeling. Give me, give me more. Give me more. I'm going to miss it. Yeah, man, because I am here to swallow up every moment of Tom Cruise in that closing ceremony. Now we'll be talking about the closing ceremony.

And weirdly, we're going to be talking about Tom Cruise a lot today for some reason. It's, uh, he's everywhere right now. I mean, he's got a, no one is usually talking about him. Yeah, he looks. And by the way, whoever crafted his Tom Cruise mask for this stunt is incredible. I mean, I can't believe, I don't know why he would wear a mask of his own face on his face, but it looks. Can we talk about how he looked like he had just woken up?

Why were his eyes so pumped? Because the stretch, he had his face stretch. He had to get across the world, guys. He had to get from France to Los Angeles. Why are you not giving him? him the benefit of the doubt. And you want me to believe that it took a year

to put that stunt together. That's what Jackie sent us in the articles. It took a year to edit a one-minute video of him riding a motorcycle away from the Eiffel Tower. What?

The magic of video editing. It's not that. But every five seconds he had to stop and eat another slow-cooked white fish feel. Yeah, that took a year

just to the slowness of cooking. It takes a year to cook the fish. It is crazy though, because I feel like I never look at Tom Cruise's face. And I think that you guys are so right, he does look like he's got a full plastic mask on. Remember, what's the, what's the, I think you should leave bit when he's, like, dressed like the old man. And he's just like, please kill me.

Oh, and it's like reminded me of that face, like a little bit. Yeah, like he looks like he ate a bunch of salt and then went to bed and then woke up. You know, like there's something going on. It's just whatever people, you know, he's just got a strange, everybody has, I think at this point, if you're Uber rich, a strange idea what the human face should look like ideally. I guess. Yeah, right. You're just like creating your own face every day anew when you're rich. And that is hard.

Maybe this has always been the case and I'm just more like it's hitting me harder as I'm getting older. But it feels like lately Jackie will send me a bunch of. us, a bunch of articles. And it'll be a news story about something like this. And I have a hard time paying attention to the actual news story because I'm just ogling at their weird head. Yeah. And I don't know what's happening.

I can't control their faces, guys, all right? I can't control the news. I don't know what they do and what they inject and whatever they think. It's like a lamb fat or something. Yeah. It's grisly. Whatever they are putting in there. But also, the stunt.

Let's talk about the stunt. Okay, let's get into. MJ hot takes happened in coming from MJ right now. He jumped. I've seen community theater do bigger stunts than that. He jumped. Damn! M.

Rosed M. Rosed M. Rosed M. I've seen a child play Peter Pan and take a bigger jump from that on stage. He jumped one time. Yes. Oh, it was, I don't know, 100 feet. It was very underwhelming.

It was extremely underwhelming. Here's the thing. I imagine live, this is very difficult to do. I'm sure it's very difficult to set up. You think about all the people that are there, all of the things that can go wrong. Yes. Props to all of the workers and the staff who made that,

the stunt person's staff who made that happen probably did have to work very hard. That's a very good thing. To make it look so effortless. Yeah. Because it actually is a very difficult thing to do, but that's a thing. For someone that is doing Mission Impossible 8

and what we are so used to, I do kind of feel like it was like, what, no explosion? What, there's not more danger here? Like, I was expecting, like, I said, gimme a, gimme it, I thought it was going, because I knew it was going to be a big Tom Cruise spectacle. All I knew was repelling off of the, the empire, not the Empire State Building, uh-oh, wrong country. We're also wrong city, even in the wrong country. but he was repelling down and I thought it was going to be something that was like at least I don't know

CGIed I know live they wouldn't be able to see it but I thought that they were going to make something knowing that it takes a year took a year to put together right I just thought it was going to be bigger and that is a sad thing to say and it's Tom Cruise like where is the attack on France where is the explosion you know

where's the blowing up of a French building or at least a shooting or something You know what I mean? I feel like it should have been some kind of, or maybe he just like held up a bunch of french fries and went freedom fries and then like through dynamite at like the Louvre, lovel. Something to say, hey, I'm Tom Cruise. Fuck France. Like, where was that? You know, I think we were all expecting a little bit of a rage moment, you know, coming from Tom Cruise. And instead it was just the chili peppers. Oh, dating a 19 year old with the lights on. And I was like, hey, can we all acknowledge that Anthony Echidis is this. very creepy and is even written about like dating a 14 year old in his book. But Los Angeles, Holden. And now he's with like a 20 year old.

Think about Los Angeles. He was with a 20 year old who if you were to show me a picture and be like, is this child traffic? I would have been like, absolutely this is an example of child trafficking. But now apparently they're at a consensual dating relationship. I don't know. It's weird how the chili peppers get a pass.

And that comes from a pep head back in the day. Okay. It's weird how they get a pass. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Big. Oh, my God. You're such a pepup.

Dude. Funk rock was, I mean, my whole band was in high school, we were funk rock baby all the way. Man, when I look at Holden McNeely, all I think about is funky, funky afresh. Funky fresh. I'm just like, wow, is he the funkiest guy in the room? Yeah, and exactly. I was just like, you know, I'm dating of 19 year old and I'm 62. You know what I mean?

All that kind of good funk rock, you know what I mean? Anyways, that's my weird, that's my Anthony Keatis call out. We're all calling it. What are you calling out? MJ called out Tom Cruise's stunt. I'm calling out Anthony Keys. What about this closing ceremony? Are you going to roast, Jackie?

I guess I would roast. I don't even want to roast the Golden Voyager because I was actually very intrigued by the idea of the Golden Voyager. Because for some reason, and correct me if I'm wrong, if someone saw the Golden Voyager at another point of the two weeks of the Olympics, please let me know, where did this character come from? And the fact that it was just this like creepy.

And for those of you that are unaware of what the Golden Voyager is, you're joining all of us because it was just this kind of creepy, a creature that comes out. Well, you described him as gold-plated gronky, which I think is a helpful for people to picture. Gold-plated gronky, yes. Very much gold-plated gronky. yeah, it's just a monster, a golden monster

who's introduced in the last act. Like, not even the last act, the finale of the last act. It is interesting choice to introduce a brand new character at the very end. I was shocked, and now this comes in from Thomas Jolly, the artistic director. Now, this character is supposed to represent

the Voyager Golden Record or the record of humanity sent to space by France in 1977. Do you look at that and go, aha! Just like the historical. historical tombs and from France into outer space. Okay, but can we not just acknowledge how creepy the name Thomas Jolly is?

What do you mean? Halded? Don't worry about me, hold it. I just want to have a jolly all time. I want to just spread my seed, the humanity. Oh, come on. I don't want to lick the lollipops. Just got to come in the closet, holding.

It's so bad. Hello, Ed Larson. and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you. See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the Brynter Side podcast is for you. Oh yeah!

Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, do-do factory. Boo. caca-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? At least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network.

You beautiful babies. Thomas Jolly, the man who is an expert on what France sent into space. I didn't know. Honestly, I've never heard about what France. has sent into space. So I guess we're learning. The record of humanity that France sent into space in 1977, I don't know. People are calling it a sleep paralysis D.

Yes, I agree with that. I'm scratching my head. I'm really scratching my head about the golden. I love it. This is the type of Euro trash I want out of a France closing ceremony. That's a good. Yeah, it's a bit like that. It's a bit of a creepy crawler.

I forgot there was the whole, there is the Eurovision aspect to, the opening and closing ceremonies where we are in Europe, and they do make weird music videos there. I'm going to miss it. I think France fucking crushed it with their opening and closing ceremonies. They alienated all the right people. It was so fun and weird. And LA's, you know, I know LA is just going to be like this incredible production and we're going to get, you know, Beyonce will be there. I'm so upset already. I know that we talked about this last week, but now they're talking about how they're like, it's going to be a no car games in Los Angeles where in full. Four years, guys, okay, guys, in four years, they're going to get the public transit system to the place to properly be able to get hundreds of, I don't even, I was going to say hundreds of thousands, but I guess millions of fans. Yeah, for sure, for sure. That there's going to be, like, you can't take a car to the game.

You can only be accessible via public transit. And how the hell are you going to do that, Karen Bass? How are you going to do that in four years? It's so bad. What are you talking about? Classically, L.A. would have been one of the greatest, like, public transit system cities ever. And instead...

You can't live your life on what it could as should is. You're thinking doesn't put food on the table. It's a worthy goal. It's a highway nightmare instead. And, you know, I always bring it up the film who frame Roger Rabbit is based in the whole, you know, him talk about, you know, highways, as far as I can see, you know, just ruining tune town, all that stuff. That's all based on the actual history of L.A. and how awful it is.

And I've been, yeah, up in these freeways this past week, and they're terrible. They're all horrible. And you can't see anything and it's awful. Honestly, I will say this at least makes me happy that they're going to try to make public transit of more, you know, accessible thing in this city. I couldn't imagine how the fuck they're going to do it, but I would love that. That's the thing.

It's like, I mean, I remember the huge grassroots anti-Olympics organizing that went into trying to prevent the Olympics from coming to both Boston and Chicago, which I think I just knew because I had leftist friends in both of those cities who were like, no, Olympics.

Because, you know, famously, the Olympics come and then they like, fuck up a city by building a bunch of new infrastructure for one And nobody can maintain it. And in the meantime, in the building of it, it destroys the existing infrastructure. So if one of the things of building up the Olympics in L.A. is investing in public transit, I'm like, I guess.

But knowing you guys and how you talk about L.A. and the lack of public transit. Right. If that happens, that sounds like it would be a literally a break from a century of not being able to do that. It would be unbelievable. I lived here for almost four years without a car. It sucks. And it was very difficult to live alive. There's an open disdain for you if you're walking on the streets here.

They, they, yeah, people, people, you scream at you. They go, hey, Malcovic and throw a can of, you know. And I'm like, but that's not my name. But that's not my name. Don't do it at me. It's just awful. But also, I was happy that Billy Eilish and Phineas did perform at the closing ceremony. And because they kept talking about how they were also going to be at the closing ceremony.

and Tom Cruise was going to be at the closing ceremony. So, of course, in my brain, I was really, really hoping that they were going to be a part of the stunt. I don't know why I had decided that for myself. And then when I saw that it was just Billy performing birds of a feather, don't get me wrong, I love the song. But I did think for a portion of time that they were going to be involved in the stunt. You know, if it had been Billy doing the exact same stunt, I'd be very impressed.

You know, that would be big for her. It's just not so big for Tom Cruise. Also, the moment that Tom Cruise hugged Simone Biles, and you can just see what a short man, Tom Cruise is because he is not that much taller than Simone Biles, who is a famously tiny person. And I thought that that was very cute. I'm surprised that he didn't refuse to hug her. Well, to be fair, they have been removing, they have been removing bone matter from his legs and attaching it to his skull, which is part of the... Honestly, that would at least make sense. That would be like, okay, oh, he's regenerating stem cells or something. You know, like, oh, that he just has to lay the extra skin on his face and then it regenerates. I would understand that. He would never let them take it from his legs.

Right. He needs to know. Of course not. And not from his ass either unless he got like injections first and then took out the top. No, I was going to say look up a picture of Shaq and Simone Biles together in a picture. It's crazy. If you really want to see how small Simone Biles is, I mean, obviously Shaq is huge as well. And how big Shaq is right.

But he's just so big and she's just so small. And I did stare at that picture. I was like, it can't be real. It is. Oh, Jackie, this is a little bit unrelated, but just while we're on the Olympics, how- How much have you just been, like, weeping with joy and love at the long jumper and her husband who just cheers for her? Oh, my God. There's so much, you know how I love love.

And I try to keep my loving of love out of your... There's many proposals and just of like different athletes proposing each other. Because like, you know, I'm here for the Olympic Village fucking. We all know this. But I do love love as well. Oh my God, they're love. And he's just screaming like, you're an Olympic medalist. I'm so proud of you.

I love you so much. Oh, that was one of my favorite things about the entire Olympics. It's just that couple. Oh, my God. She kept running over and hugging it. There's been a lot of talk about how the various Olympic. spouses are doing in terms of supporting, not supporting, et cetera. But that guy, who's also a Paralympic, a Paralympian himself, he is like the boyfriend of the Olympics. Everybody loves

him. And we love an Olympic boyfriend. We love an Olympic boyfriend. But I do feel like that there would be such a level. I can't imagine competing at that level. And I feel like there would be simultaneously like, I don't want you to watch me do it. I want you to stand outside of the door and wait. If I got so relaxed, he'd just be like, why I ain't have to go? Why didn't it the goal? Oh, yeah? Why didn't it the goal? Man, I'm always saying that about Lexi.

I'm like, man, Lexi just really holds hold into just such a high standard. Why isn't it at the goal? You got to bring out of the goal. And that tells you a lot. Because imagine if she held him to lower standards what he'd be like that. Oh, God, can you imagine? And then I'll cup my hands and pissing them and drink it. Because I have an awful dog.

And then she's going to be cheering for you after that. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you, baby. I can't believe you drank you. I piss for me. I can't believe. It's so crazy that she never says any consonance to end a word. Yeah.

And that's a wonderful. She doesn't have time. Anywho, what else are we got? That's most, you know, that's most spouses, though. I feel like once they start yapping, all right? You're like, I'll bring home the gold and I'll bite it for you, baby. But also, that song, really? Yes, we are going to be talking about Celine Dion.

Rebuking Trump's use of my heart will go on. Yes, for everyone, we are flapping out of Olympic zone, all right? We're taking a break from Olympic time because it's over. See you in four years, you bastards. I don't say it, MJ. I don't want to say goodbye to the Olympics. I'm going to come stay in your house next when it comes to the L.A. Please.

And I'm going to be there. Please. And we'll hide. California edibles and we're going to hide inside and the Olympics. But we'll be like, it's so close. It's going to be great. I can feel them here.

Oh my God. Can you imagine the magic will be able to feel once all the Olympic athletes are here in Los Angeles? Oh my God. Yeah, it's going to be electric. But also the opening and closing ceremonies

are going to be bad shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? What's that opening ceremony going to be? We're going to have Lady Gaga to like 69 a fucking, you know, uh, Sabrina Carpenter, you know what I mean?

Wow. That is going to draw quite a crowd. And they'll be flipping on wires through the air and they'll just be like, take that Tom Cruise or something. You know what I mean? Will Tay grace us with her presence, you know? Don't bring up Tay right now. We're in the middle of talking about Celine Dion, all right?

Oh, my God. The other queen. Yes, my queen, Celine Dion, because Trump was playing, My Heart Will Go on. and of course Celine Dion's management team immediately came out and said that her record label and management team, they became aware of the unauthorized usage and of playing my heart will go on and says in no way is this use authorized and Celine Dion does not endorse this or any similar use. dot dot dot and really that song is the funniest cheekiest cutest way that Celine Dion's management team could have put that out there. In general, what is happening right now in general?

I'm so glad we're past this and you know shout-outs to my pantsuit queen Hillary. But you know the whole high road thing out the window. Finally, everyone is just being like, you know what? Go fuck yourself. Well, this keeps happening with Trump specifically with music because most people who make good music have good politics. They say no. And they get playing the boss. And the boss was like, fuck no.

Stop. Yeah. It's kind of, if you are a Democratic voter, it is always, it's like kind of a regular occurrence you get to enjoy where most of the like good musicians, uh, hate, you know, shut down any Republican usage. so they only get, you know, fucking kid rock and shit. And it's so lame. And then like, but also, yeah, why are you playing my heart will go on? What a fucking dork.

Like, why would you- If anything, I'm sorry to hand a bullying line, but they should have been playing, it's all coming back to me. Yeah. That's funnier. That's a thing. There's a joke there. And not a song synonymous with the Titanic, which everyone's just like,

what are you doing? It's just so, they're just so fucking dorks. Yes. Go get st. Stephen Baldwin to make you a song. Is that what you need? Yeah, exactly. Well, he also plays the village people at his rallies a lot,

which everyone is, like, so confused about. It's not only lame to do that. And then also, yeah, it's just so counter to the measures that are in place. I love this for Celine Dion. I love that she was kind of bitchy about it in her correction. Yeah, finally, let's stop even being. I'm so glad we're, you know, I feel like it's a tastefully not taking the high road to. I do.

I think that it's not. it's not going so low, but it's like, yeah, no, it's, it's, it's, fuck, fuck off and fuck you and we're gonna talk shit. Again, there's just funnier people. There's just not that many funny conservatives. Like, and so there's just a lot more funny people, like the count, we don't have to get, this isn't a politics podcast, but the couch thing for J.D. Vance is so good. It's so funny because it's very funny and it caught on very quickly, but it's, it's not, it's not so on the nose. Whereas Donald Trump Jr. keeps being like,

well, Tim Walls swallows horse jizz, and everyone's like, you're trying too hard. It's like, you are trying too hard. Yeah, it's try hard shit. And I love, too, that also you get to see, you know, Beyonce supporting Cabell's use of her song, Kesha, they've been playing Joy Ride. Yeah, Joy Ride.

And Kesha retweeted, it was like, Beep bitch, I'm outside! Yeah, let's go. And I love seeing that as well, the full support of the use of the music on the other side. How about the fact that Barako Obama didn't put Chapel on his summer playlist, and he did put Charlie.

He did put Charlie. What the fuck? Did you see this, Jack? Yeah, he put, uh, 360 on his summer playlist and... But, I mean, it is Brad Summer. I will say, I mean, I get it. But Chapel? But Chapel had the largest audience at Lollapalooza ever.

She actually broke records. But was Obama there? He was not. No. And I feel like he has some fucking fish to fry. when it comes to that. Obama, I'm looking at you. Don't.

Will you respond to the allegations that you are a hater of Chapel Rose? Don't! And will that have an effect on the election? Will it have an effect on the election? Oh my God, there was a tweet that was like, Obama voice about him putting Charlie on the playlist. It was like, Obama voice.

So are we going to do a line? Let me be clear. Let's do some jokes. I love the idea that he's like, I'm a bit of a brat. He is. Sloppy. mess Barack Obama. Now, I don't know what sloppy mess began and where it ended.

And yes, I am. We are talking a little bit about Taylor Swift. I didn't want to talk about her during Celine Dion's time to shine. Her moment. I'm sorry for a mess. A Terrapin. Sloppy mess of a terrorist plot. You knew exactly what I was about to say, MJ.

Because Taylor Swift had to cancel three Vienna-era's tour concerts this week because of a terror plot that was happening. And of course, that is the most that has come out about whatever is going on over there. But they just keep saying alleged terror plot. And that's very scary. Well, and then also there was that horrific, like, mass stabbing in the UK that was not in a Taylor event. But it was like a Taylor themed party. And I'm like, yeah, it is.

I mean, I actually do feel very bad for Taylor. she was having a, I mean, that she was like, of course, devastated about that. And then this, like, and it's all teenage men, teenage boys. Like, what is happening with? I don't know. I don't know what's happening. I mean, I guess we know what's happening with 19-year-old boys. They're the ones who do all the mass violence.

Very, very scary. Very scared of them. But if you couldn't get to the concert, I don't know how she set this up so fast. I don't know what Taylor Swift does and maybe if you just have that kind of pull you can do these things but she got working with Swarovsky crystals

the company and then made it so that people that had they could prove that they had a ticket to one of her canceled shows they could come in for a quote crystal surprise to get a free Swarovsky crystal necklace

for their trouble I mean, that is nice. I don't under. Yes, it's very nice. It's very nice. I don't understand, though. Like, my brain can't comprehend how many people didn't go. And obviously, I'm sure it's a limited edition amount of people that would go.

Like, it's like, that can actually get these necklaces. But, like, why would you do that, Swarovsky? Like, I can't imagine. Because it's so much money. It's so much money. But then having your stores, like, swarmed because of course, like, they, ran out of the necklaces really fast, but like, how did they make them so fast? Like, I'm thinking about the actual logistics. And I feel like I'm thinking about it in the same way

that I was looking at the closing ceremonies where I'm like, how did they make it happen, though? Yeah. That's so nuts to me to think that like someone can have the pull to be able to do something that quickly. Yeah. Within the week. I know. I know. It is, it's everything about this story is like really ahead. Each, each new piece of information that comes out is just a bigger head scratcher than the last. Yeah, it was three. It was a 19 year old, a 17 year old, and an 18 year old arrested on the suspicion to carry out these attacks. And then, yeah, Taylor Swift was like, you know, I'm heartbroken. And then this diamond store was like, free diamonds for all. It's just like, what is happening here? Everyone come get your crystals.

Have a crystal. Need a crystal? I'm like, here's the thing. Bitch, yeah, I'm always down for a crystal. But like, I can't, we actually know someone that flew there because she was already going on a trip and her concert got, like, got tickets for the concert and then she didn't get to go. Oh, really? Yes. I'll bet. Oh, there's a lot of people I bet. To get, like, to fly in to see that. Yes.

Yes. Yeah, that sucks. That really sucks. But there's nothing. I mean, like, you know, I'm sure people are, you know, you can only hold it against Taylor Swift so much. there's only so much you can do. Yeah, what can you do? You got to keep everybody safe.

Right. I just, I can't imagine, like, I already am such a people pleaser. I know. Could you imagine being a people pleaser to that extent that you're, like, willing to use and do what you can to try and make people feel better, even though, like, you know, it's not enough. Yeah. There's nothing you can do. Like, people paid for a once in a lifetime experience.

Yeah, there's no, you can't give them. There's no plan to try to reschedule. To reschedule. Do a show there. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure that there's going to be, but there's not. Yeah. Holden,

if I say I'll give you a diamond but you can't go to Erez, which do you choose? Yeah, fuck the diamond. It gives a shit about the diamond. You could give me, you could take like a relative

away from me, you know, for me to get to errors. Yeah. But also, that's the thing. They get to live, but I just,

it's like in a undisclosed location and I never see them again. Okay. Yeah, and I would take that trade. Yeah. But they're not diamonds. They're just crystals. Oh,

and I know that you can't say just crystals because crystals are important as well. But I feel that, you know, and also it's for the best. You don't want diamonds anyway. But it's better to have the crystals. This goes to show, I don't know what the, what the, they're all just sparkly rocks to me, man. And honestly, I get you.

In order for them to be in my possession, I don't want them. I say, Keith. Not good enough. I say leave the blood on them when I purchase them. So I know that many people die. Yeah. Hopefully, honestly, just leave the whole hand that was probably. severed off with like gripping the diamond.

That's what I'd prefer. Taylor Swift gives three hands. I do not actually feel this way. Please don't DM us about these dark jokes that we're making right now. But I will say. And also don't, don't yell at me about saying that men are committing terrorist plots. It's not all men. And you know what?

Also, I want to get this out of the way. D. Swift dated 17 year olds when she was over, she was like 20 or whatever. So I get it. I've been being a hypocrite because I called out Anthony Keenis. But I'll also say this. She gets a pass for zero reason. Yeah. And there you go.

Back to you, Jackie. Wow, I'm so glad that we cleared the air, guys. Thank you. Now no one could yell at us about anything. I feel like, man, we went from roast mode to confessional booth. This is like a really roller coastery episode. My question is, I was trying to pull up the article real quick and see, like, how unique. About the Versacee dress?

Soon. But I was, how unique are these bracelets or whatever? How unique are these? because I mean, they could probably sell them for a ass load of money, too, if they're like... Oh, certainly. The consolation crystals. Yeah. Yeah, they're...

It just says the necklaces features a large crystal set on a gray leather string. Okay, so it's not like unique to... It's pro. I don't think it could be. Yeah. Like, I don't... I can't imagine. Because if it was, if there was some kind of insignia T-Swift something, I mean, that shit is going to go.

I mean, if they only made a limited run or something, it would... Does, yeah, you're, you know, you're going to make a ton of money on that, you know. Yeah. Blood or no blood. Back to you, Jackie. Thank you so much, Holden. But I did want to just bring up the fact that Blake Lively did wear the same Versauch dress that that Britney Spears wore in 2002.

And I did say this in my email, but I do need to bring up. It's crazy. Blake Lively must have a pristine. pristine background. Because the fact that she wore a Britney Spears dress, I feel like usually, and the dress was shortened, that I feel like people would rip her to shreds.

But Blake lively never gets ripped to shreds. She and Ryan Reynolds are up on this, and maybe they are, and I genuinely say, I shouldn't say she just must have a squeaky clean pass. Maybe she's just a good person. And I hope that maybe they're just both good people. Sure.

There's been a lot of people on Twitter talking about it ends with us drama. Yeah, it ends with us. Drama has been really crazy. But it's gone, it's been one of those things where it seemed like one thing and now it's looking like another. So the whole thing around it, right, is that Ryan Reynolds was like involved in, like, manipulating the movie to a certain degree and that they ended up going with like the cut that they had Blake and Ryan had gone with.

So at first it seemed like, oh, Blake and Ryan are being evil about this movie. But now it's coming out that the director was not enjoyed by the cast and things like that. And then it might be that the director is a fucker. I don't know. It's one of those where now it's a lot of like, it seems like a lot of he said, she said on all of that drama.

So it's very confusing. Yeah. I've been trying to like literally if you type into Twitter, Blake Lively, the next, the suggested search is Blake Lively. canceled. And so people are like, but the, and I said, I think I said this a week or two ago, like, I don't feel good about Blake lively, but I'm not sure why. And there is, people are very upset at her for getting married on a plantation. That happened a few years ago. There's now a new,

everyone's upset with her. I guess just because of the way that this movie rollout is going. It is shaking out, though, that it is more baldoni. That was the more recent. It's like, news, but it's kind of difficult. Yeah, it's, I don't know. Who knows what the hell? Hard to sort. It's also, it's like I, I, honestly, I kept seeing these threads. And every thread about Blake lively is like, buckle up.

This is going to be a 90 tweet thread about Blake lively. I'm so, you know what? I'm over these threads. I cannot. Can I say that too? These thread, these long ass threads are killing me on Twitter. It's getting too much. It's crazy.

I don't need to know. I don't need to read 90 threads on it ends with us. Totally. I barely know what. what it is in the first place. And I don't really want to know. And I don't need to know more about Blake lively than what I know, which is just like Jackie said, she seems like she's just like America's favorite gal.

It does seem apparently that it ends with us now. I have, again, have not read the book, have not seen the movie. I do really want to go see the movie, but no one will go see it with me. Apparently it ends with us, quote, tries to fix the book's problems. So take that with. So it what you will. Oh, won't you? That's so funny because I will say it reminds me of a thread I did enjoy where it was the author,

Colleen, whatever, it was the author of it. Colleen Hoover. Apparently, it was a thread of her dog shit writing, examples of her being a terrible writer. And that was a thread I did enjoy on Twitter, oddly enough, now that we're talking about threads. It was a lot of, they were very funny. It was very odd some of her writing choices. So check that out.

I am anticipating that there might be people who do know a lot more about this. and of course we welcome your emails. Let us know. There's a lot of... The discourse is about the role how the movie portrays domestic abuse. And so I really don't know. I know very little about this.

If you have thoughts about this, please, we would love to hear from you, page 7 podcast at gmail.com, because as you can tell, this is not an area of expertise for any of the three of us. I think about Blake lively only when her name comes up.

I really don't have any desire to read it. It's not even like a, oh, I'll just read it real fast because I'm sure it's a fast read. I really have no desire. to read it. Yeah, I don't... Yeah, I just... It is not something I'm interested in. But if you are and you know, we would love to hear from you.

Thank you. Page 7 Podcast at jrm.com, but I think that we can't see anything, right? Yes, that's right. We don't know what Holden's gonna say. That's right. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? This week's Celebrity Conspiracy was Zach Ephron cursed by someone who can't read. What?

This one comes in... William Michelle? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe. Who else? maybe there's other people who can't read. We'll see when we get to the end of this conspiracy email. This one comes in from Emily, who writes, has a certain illiterate actor cursed Zach Ephron? Longtime listener, longer time jumbo shrimp singer.

First time writing in, as I sit here hiding from my bully three-year-old son, I can't help but wonder if Zach Efron has been cursed. Did you guys both feel seen at the same time? Yes, 100%. And I see her. sitting in a closet behind some shoes and some hanging shirts typing this on a laptop. I need it to be unopened. You just hear this, yeah.

You're a kid. I wanted the green juice. There is no green juice. As I sit here, all right, I can't help but wonder if Zach Efron has been cursed. Let's start. In 2013, as we all remember, our handsome crooner was romping and frolicing in his home when he allegedly slipped on a sock or something that detached his jaw from his face. No follow-up, no explanation.

We just simply had to accept this story. Next, in 2019, while filming his travel show in Papua New Guinea, he fell so ill that he had to be light-flighted from the lift flighted, or whatever, from the island to a hospital in Australia. According to the reputable source E news, Efron had contracted what, quote, contracted what is believed to be a typhoid or other bacterial infection. Still no confirmation of what it actually was.

Now just, what's up, Jack? Oh, it's just crazy? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now, just mere days ago, the A-Lister had a swimming incident in Abiza. Abiza. Abitha. Thank you.

As one does. No explanation of what this incident was. What incident could have taken down the skilled swimmer that was the star of the cinematic thrill ride Baywatch? I didn't even think about that. We will never know. But now I present to you my Shaman twist. Was it Leah Michelle?

Oh. In 2011, Ephron and Michelle. starred in the rivening rom-com New Year's Eve. It bombed with a 7% Rotten Tomatoes score. What if Efron and Michelle had an onset rivalry of who's got the better singing voice, which resulted in her hiring a witch doctor to curse him? I have zero supporting documentation,

and since Lea Michelle is illiterate, she wouldn't have written down anything to incriminate herself, but alas, you can bet on it, that Lea Michelle is without a doubt out to get Zach Ephra. Oh, my God, that's funny. Love you three so much, listening to you all multiple times a week makes my drives much more bearable love Emily, otherwise known as etymility on Twitch.

Hi, babe. Oh, my God. Love this. I also, you know how every time Holden is doing a blind and he says like illiterate, like a literate, like a person whose name starts with the same letter? I always think he's saying illiterate, like can't read. And this time you said, what illiterate actor and I was thinking, a literate.

And I was like, leave the show is not illiterate. Not illiterate. No, this is the time it's actually. I had this same thing go through my brain. This is the time that we're actually talking about an illiterate actor, which is Leah Michelle, and I love that she couldn't write down a record of her crimes because she can't read.

I absolutely believe something is going on with Zach Efron. I didn't even know about that typhoid thing. He's getting diseases from the Oregon Trail. Yeah, dude. I mean, put him back in the wagon. I think he needs to sleep it off. That or I need to give him my breast milk because that's the only way he's going to survive. Hashtag grapes of wrath reference.

Yeah, and I forgot that he was in Baywatch. So how is it that he dives to the bottom of a pool? Yeah, how would he be it not be able to swim? How would he be real here, though? He was doing a lot more running with like a lifesaver that you was actually swimming. Did you see Baywatch? Did you watch that Baywatch? Why would I?

Because you watch everything. I don't know. You watch Roadhouse. I did watch Roadhouse. I, you know, I've never seen anything about Baywatch. I've never seen an episode of Baywatch. I know absolutely not all I know. Oh, right.

You weren't a horny middle school boy that masturbated a lot. Or at least I was just at a different time. Right, right. I was just watching different things. So Baywatch was on its way out by the time you were entering your horny era. Baywatch was a niche show type that was necessary back at that time because you didn't have such an incredible access to portographic materials or

whatever the whatnot. So you needed a show like that show was, I want to see the percentage numbers of people who purely watched it for horniness reasons. Well that's why I love that Pam Anderson has come out and has said that like you know why I stopped wearing makeup?

Everybody's screaming about how I stopped wearing makeup. I didn't want to be seen as that person anymore. Right. I'm not that person that is not who I am. I wanted people to actually see me for who I actually am now, and that is just like a person, not Baywatch anymore,

so I stopped wearing makeup. And go for ha, and sad that she had to go to that extreme, just to be like, stop, guys, stop. I'm 57. Can we just like take a break? And I know she was a sex symbol,

but it is funny to that that show is just like, this was a show that was basically synonymous with people who couldn't watch porn and so they watched this instead, you know, like, it is, it was an extra horny show.

Or at least that was how people experienced it. Should I be watching Baywatch? No, not at all. Oh, okay. No, no, no, no. Don't go. Don't watch Baywatch. Okay.

All right. It's not fun bad. It's not like, oh, you need it. I mean, maybe, but I just really truly think that we needed it. We being me going through puberty or whatever. Gotcha. The royal. And goofy dads needed it who, who, you know what I mean?

Just needed fluff. Yeah. Well, just needed something to. be tantalized by. Also, yeah, you're right. Because also, if you think about it, we didn't even have, like, the trash reality shows then.

Nothing. Yeah, there was none of that. Wow. So, also, you know, thing about this, like, I mean, the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit edition, that's gone essentially the way that do-do.

I mean, that was necessary. The Victoria's Secret catalog. This was a very different time and masturbation for horny men, boys and dads. Reminds me of when we were in Utah, right after the porn ban had gone.

to affect. Oh, my God. And one of the people was like, I honestly can't imagine who my dad would be if he didn't have access to pornography. And I feel like that. He'll be watching Baywatch. Yeah. He'll be watching.

Well, unfortunately, he'll be watching really bad media for that. Like, that was the sad thing. The amount of hours of VIP that I watched, the Pamela Anderson show, that was such a bad show. I watched hours of it. You know? It was torture. But also, again, if you live in Utah,

and, you know, remember to start sending your Judy Bloom books, your Sarah J. Moss books to the libraries. Remember, just keep, you know, keep getting those books in those libraries because, yeah, Utah has banned them. So thank you, Utah. Thanks so much Utah for banning books from the library. Yeah. Anyway, I think it is time for the list, though. Oh, who's on the list? Jackie, got to have that list. Stints of Hollywood history that deserve their own documentary. Now, I feel like this, it's, you know, the Olympics just happened. And this is just an article of people being celebrated. Riz Ahmed was the first Muslim actor to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor. The 2021 nomination was for his lead role in the movie Sound of Metal. It's so funny.

We're supposed to celebrate this stuff. And it's always ends up just being sad to me that it took until 2021 for that to happen. Right. This is one of those like, hey. happy, but also very sad. Yeah, there are some of those in there. But some of them are just nice and smiley in history, like Joanne Woodward, who got the first Hollywood Walk of Fame star.

The Academy Award winning actress for the Three Faces of Eve was the first to receive this dedication in 1960. I will say, surprise that it was a woman. And she's a female woman, which is, so there you go. The slate's now wipe clean. Now we're even again. Oh, yeah. Keep going.

It's, history has been righted. Yes. But also, speaking of surprising women doing things, Gilda Radner was the very first hire for Saturday Night Live. Nice. The actress was the first to be cast in S&L in 1975. She stayed for five years. I didn't realize that Gilda Radner was the first one.

An undeniable talent. Yeah, I am surprised. Chevy Chase was the first to kind of become a household name, namely because of his catchphrase. I'm Chevy Chase and you're not. But that's awesome to see that Gilda was the first hired. Yeah, dude. And this is another one that will make you sad.

Kelly Marie Tran is the first Southeast Asian actress to lead a Disney animated film in 2021. Tran did the voice of Raya in Raya and the Last Dragon. Which I've heard is good. I heard it's very good. Yeah, my kids had a bit of a Raya in the Last Dragon phase, but I never really sat down and paid attention. But I think it is good. Yeah. I could give, it felt, the vibes felt good.

Vibes felt good. Now, 1939's The Wizard of Oz, wasn't the first big deal Hollywood version of that story. The first one came out in 1925 and had a weird plot where all the male characters, including the scarecrow and tin man, wanted to marry Dorothy. Oh my God. One of the best things about that movie is that there's nothing creepy that goes on between the three men and Dorothy. And it's because they got it out of their sister. I guess. And what's crazy is,

originally it was the cast was the red hot chili peppers. Hey yo! What's up? I'm coming for you, Anthony. I'm coming for you, Anthony. I mean, spoiler alert, but given the fact that we know

that the men are three adults from the farm and Dorothy is a child, that really fucks up the 1925 one even more. Yeah, it was a different time. But also, I guess they were like, no, we're magical creatures. Yeah.

So we could have sex with the girl. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, it was 1925. We can have this. Yeah, that must have been their way of thinking. Not just that back then, that that wasn't even a part of their concept of thinking about it. So don't worry, Holden, they weren't thinking about it at all. Now, this is kind of cute, but it makes me feel better about all of these self-tapes I currently have to do.

Elijah Wood shot his own audition tape for the Lord of the Ring trilogy back in the day. He did that way before making your own tape was common. And he says he enlisted some friends, including George Huang, who is a writer and filmmaker. We went out to the woods in Griffith Park and shot two of the audition sequences there and one at my house. Wow. I love that. He was already famous. Yes.

And that he went above and beyond for it because obviously he really wanted it. And it's crazy because so often they tell you not to like in your auditions. don't include props, don't include any kind of like background, don't put yourself into a space. But every once in a while, if you just bump it up a little bit, it's going so far. But then you have to do it right and not too much. And you have to do it in such a specific way to get them to like it.

Yeah. When he really had to, I guess he was already famous, but I think at that point he still had to really kind of define himself as an adult. Because at that point he was just, I feel like before Lord of the Rings, I just know him as the creepy kid from the, good son, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also was like always weirdly interested in Elijah Wood. I think, I, I think that it's just, like, it's a compelling first. The word compelling as well, MJ. Oh, my God. Well, this would have been really bad because everyone would have loved

Spider-Man 2 then, doubt it. Toby McGuire was almost fired from Spider-Man 2 over his back. McGuire's back complaints, which some viewed as him being a prima donna, led to him almost being replaced by Jake Yelanula. That didn't happen, but the writers added some back jokes, which were later referenced in No Way Home, which I don't remember, and I don't know why they would have done it. Did they think that no one would notice that they replaced it with Jake Jalenhall?

Because during this time, everybody kind of used them interchangeably. Yeah. Because they kind of were similar. Maybe that sort of was. They just wouldn't have noticed. Honestly, I wouldn't have noticed. Yeah. Yeah.

I had a crush on both of them. Oh, my God. I had such the biggest. crush is on both between Donnie Darko to, oh my God, give me every. Don't tell Henry. Yes, I had a crush on Yelan Hula, okay? I had a big crush on Yelan Hula and also very dorky of me, but my biggest crush on Toby McIreier was born not out of Spider-Man, but out of the movie, Siderhouse Rules. Oh, that you're going to say the Wonder Boys, but what's he in that? I also saw the Wonder Boys. I, you know, this was back when you had a crush on someone,

similar to your Baywatch thing, you had a crush on a movie star, so you saw his entire catalog. Oh, so I've seen every Ed Norton movie made before 2005. Yeah, but you're talking about good actors who make good movies. I'm talking about bad actors who make bad TV shows. And last but not least, I knew this fact, but I always wish I could have seen it. Jason Siegel wrote a Dracula puppet musical in real life. Yes. In his early 20s, Siegel wrote songs for the super serious musical.

When he played some of the songs to Judd Apatow, he was told to never ever play. it for another human being again. Dude, shout out to the movie for getting Sarah Marshall. It is such a underrated great. Do we rewatch that? Should we be? Yeah.

Does it hold that? I mean, I haven't seen it in a long time. Fuckface is in it, but he plays it at an annoying asshole. Yeah, Russell Brand. Russell Brands in it. But he does play like a hateable character.

So. Wow, it's got great reviews. Maybe I should check out for getting Sarah Marshall. I think it holds up so well. And that puppet musical is so funny. That's such a good part of it. So, yeah, I'm big, big fan.

And Jason Siegel loves puppets. Isn't that nice that he got to do the Muppet movie? Yeah, and then he got to do the Muppet movie and make a musical with puppets to also. And it's amazing. Shout out to the Muppet movie. Am I a man or am I a Muppet? I love it so much.

All right, well, is that your list, Jackie? That is more list, I'm glad you told me, because I can't see. Because I think I'm going on items. Oh, are we cast a young? That's right. Cockney Jackie's back, unfortunately. Jackie the Ripper is back.

Yeah, you'll bet you won't shout because I'm all get the stick in your dickens. You know, I'm a sex worker, but sex works real work, isn't it? No? Yes. Okay. Yeah. I was scared of you for a second.

I didn't know where you were going to go with it. I just sex was, you're going to, Fantine. Oh, God, don't. Fontaine is French. Hock Tua. All right. His frequent dog walking partner slash... Wait, did you just compare Fontein to Hocktool?

It sounded similar. I don't know what's going on. How dare you? I dreamed a dream. His frequent dog walking partner slash actress is back in the life of the A-list actor who sometimes directs, who is love lost. They were together. A-literate. actress.

Aliterate. Okay, he's a director. Actor director who is public, yes. And who is his dog walking partner slash actress slash sex person. I don't know. You don't know? No, J-Lo. It's J-Lo, holding. I have legs and I have arms.

Anna Day Armis? Yes. From back, well, they were together a while ago, right? And now they're one. Walking dogs. Canoodling yet again. I was trying to figure out what illiterate-ish meant, but Anna-day-R-ish, is illiterate-ish. I get it.

There you go. There you go. Well done, hold on. You're welcome. Wow. Wow. Back in the saddle, huh? She liked what she tasted, a.

Num-nam-nam-nam-nam-nam-nam-nam. Yeah, yeah. Now, there may be allegedly, potentially, and I'm only saying this. Oh, my God. And fucking. I bet they are. She's hot. She's real hot.

Yeah, yeah. And they did go to the Stroke Hut the other day with the dog. That's a famous LA hotspot. It really depends on what kind of stroke you're in the mood for. Right. Please, it's not just downstairs strokes. I love that place. But I have, yeah, I hopefully I'll get to go back again in 2025.

I've been temporarily removed. All right. Next up. Yeah, wait for the next Olympics. Yes, exactly. When this A-list movie actor couldn't interest anyone in purchasing his diet, based on the Bible, he gave up following it. And he's an idiot.

He's annoying. Chris Evans. No, but. Or not Chris Evans, the other one, Chris Pratt. Yes. Sorry, Chris Evans. I'm sorry, Chris Evans. I was like, do we not like Chris?

No, no, I meant I got the wrong Chris. He's a Garfield. Yeah, yeah. Garfield, Chris. Yeah, more like Barfield. It's a 20- You're right. It's a 21-day diet based on the fasting

experiences of the Old Testament prophet who help people, quote, draw nearer to God. Why shouldn't it be like a 33? Isn't that their number? Shouldn't it be 33 days? It's not a full fast, but similar to a vegan diet. It involves only eating foods, quote, grown from the seeds. So that includes legumes, grapes, you've got tomatoes and loads of cums.

Love that seed. It's really interesting. That's where you get all the protein from. They can also only have water to drink. no other liquids. Yeah. Nothing. No.

Turn it back to water. Yeah, unless you can turn it back to water. Of course no one wanted to do that diet, Chris Pratt. Yeah, you borrow snorro. Yeah. I love that he's like, I love that he's hawking a Bible-based diet. And then you could just chew on the frankincense and myr, I guess. I don't know.

I saw the home edit. Grown from the seed. At least a year ago now, but you know the show Home Edit where they come and organize your home. Oh, yeah. They came to Chris Pratt's home. and his wife was like doing it as a surprise for him. And it was like so sad. She was like the whole garage is just kind of like all his stuff.

And really none of my stuff is in there. And I'm not really like allowed to touch it. But you guys could like reorganize it for him as like a nice surprise. But it's like really like important to him. Yeah. Yeah. It was just one of those things where it was like this is, this is everything about the vibes here are bad. You know, it's his house.

I'm just living in it type of thing. You know. Last but not. the pint-sized actor has been making pleased to this A-list singer to be a public face of the Celebrity cult. Pint-sized actor. Yay. Pint-sized actor.

Celebrity cult. Tom Cruise. Yes. And what's an A-List singer right now? A bit hot singer right now. TAY. Not TAY. Chap.

Charlie. Not Chapp. Not Charlie. In the right realm. Espresso. Yes. Yes. Really?

I love this. So, yeah, apparently Tom Cruise tried to get. Sabrina Carborder to go, so I thought. I love how many articles, including one that Jackie put in this week, are about how women reject Tom Cruise. Can we just celebrate that? Yes.

He's got, he can do all the stunts of the world. He can pump whatever he wants to do at his face and have an awful diet all he wants to stay sharp. But every article about him when it comes to women is women being like, oh, God, no, we're not dating at all. Jesus, God, no. Like, you can hear the wreck. in the art.

That's why him running through the crowds at the Olympics is so funny because I'm just like, I don't think anyone our age and younger cares about Tom Cruise. Like there was a time when we were teenagers where he was, him and Kevin Kossner were like name a movie star and Mel Gibson, hilarious. Oh yeah. Like those were the most, he was the, the hot, hot, hot. A lot of time has passed. Dude, yet another one.

So, Jaggie said Victoria Canal sets the record straight about dating, Tom Cruise being like, oh, God, no. Guys literally bonkers. But the barely devil, it's like, I'm dating Tom Cruise. I'm deceased. Yeah, she came out after the headlines had been sprouting out because it is very funny. You see headlines all the time of like every time Tom Cruise is seen with a woman. They're like, are they dating?

Every single time. So I imagine so many people get that that they just don't respond. but this one person was like, that's insane. No, we're not. They're always like, no, no, no, no, no. I forget who it was. Who was at the F1? Who was he talking to at Formula One?

It was somebody young and cool who was like, no. No one's dating top. No one's dating top cruise. It's just so funny. No one wants to be. No woman is interested. Who was it? Selena Gomez?

It was somebody who was young and cool and also very famous and was just like, do not say that about me. Love it. So anyways, there's your blind eye too. It was Shakira, by the way. Oh, Shakira. She was like, get on it. What are she blind?

I am. Oh. Stikes, how old. Oh. Oins. And I guess that is our episode for y'all today. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us and talking the Olympics. And oh, goodbye.

Say it ain't so that it's the end of the Olympics. and we will miss you and hopefully, you will do the right thing and have constant Paralympic coverage because I want to be watching it. I'd like it on my second screen at all times. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode of Page 7.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. You can come hang out with me over the next couple of weeks. I'm going to be solo on Wednesday. I'm going to be, uh-oh, I'm going to be woo-hooing my ass on. because MJ's not able to join me for Sims.

Twitch.tv.TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. Uh-oh. The Jackie's solo, and she's going to be woo-hooing. Be scared. Jackie goes hard when I'm not there. Listen, when we are together, we go hard too, but Jackie on her own, she's forming throuples. She's having illegitimate love childs with multiple. Oh, I'm spreading my seed everywhere.

Good Lord. Yeah, yeah. I'm Nick canoning through the sins. Got that Bible diet going on over there. Yes. Also, it's a Jackie birthday stream on Twitch.com. T.tv.com. This episode drops on my birthday.

I can't believe I didn't even bring up my birthday. Oh my God. We didn't do a Jackie birthday episode. No. No, thank you. I require it. Yes, thank you for your required happy birthdays. Fuck it.

Let's not celebrate now. Let's celebrate on Friday this coming, Friday, Twitch.tv.v. So it's Jackie's birthday. We're going to go hard. My parents are away, so the Holdenator will drink gay with Jack. Either way. I guess you could have just said play.

You could ignore. Yeah, ignore, ignore. Twitch. Dot TV forward slash Holdenators ho. And forget everything before that. And Friday, 6 p.m. Estee. It's going to be amazing.

And I'm streaming all the time. So check out me on there. Also, page 7 on, uh, Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast weekly bonus episodes. Jackie's book clubs, a wealth of content over there for $5 a month. Oh, baby. $10 a month. We're in season two of Buffy doing the watch along and it is heating up.

So check us out over there. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. And please send your conspiracies in to page seven podcast at gmail.com. Again, that's page seven podcast at gmail.com. M.J. I'm MJ. I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram. Well, let's sing the song, y'all. Shout, shout. Let it all out. These are the emails that you're rolling about. Come on. We're going to read it to you. Come on. It's a shout outs. It's a shout outs. And you can send in your own shout out to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. I love y'all's.

shoutouts. You know I love self shoutouts because I love it when you celebrate yourself. And we've got some Leo baby shoutouts today. Now it's our end of Leo season and we must celebrate them because they save the best for last. So happy, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to all my Leo's out there. Whether you care about being a Leo or not, we still love you as a Leo baby. And my first shout out goes out to Emily. Happy almost birthday, baby. Happy almost birthday, baby. Emily says,

sending a self-shout for my birthday has become an annual tradition. So happy birthday and Leo season to me and my almost birthday twin Jackie. Oh my God, Emily. Happy birthday to you, babe. Everyone says your 30s are the best years. And I agree. I've finally done what I've wanted to do since I was a kid. and became a vendor at craft shows.

Emily, that's wonderful. Congratulations. I'm still learning the ropes and how to promote myself, but hearing people say how much they like my crochet and other crafts fills me with so much pride. If you wanted to check them out, I'm at olivers.organs. Again, that's at olivers.orgias on Instagram. Jackie, I also wanted to say, I love the novella era. You started in Book Club.

These quick stories have been so fun. So much love goes out to you, Emily. Thank you so much for writing in your shout-up because you deserve a birthday shout-out every year, babe. Happy almost birthday to you. Oh, my God. And congratulations for starting to Vend at craft shows. Vending is so much fun. I love going with Jeff to vend at shows.

I love talking to people. I love just, oh, filling my day and filling people with happiness with what you've got. again, Oliver's. Dot creations. Check out Emily's work. And congratulations again, Emily. And we've got another Leo baby. And oh my God, also almost birthday twin.

Milo says, I just paused my day-long binge of page 7 to listen to side stories. And Jackie's there too. So I took it as a sign to finally write in. I love it, Milo. Since my 22nd birthday is August 14th, Polish Leo's rule. Yeah, we do. Almost birthday twin. I'd like a shout out to myself and the friends I've made along the way, please. I managed to get into my third year of college as a graphic design major,

even though my anxiety and neurodivergence made it so hard, I couldn't leave my house most days. Now I'm on an internship and working a real job in a real office, which sounds silly, but I never imagined I could make it, Milo, that is not silly at all. Congratulations. In the meantime, I also ended a friendship. It was hard, but now I'm happier than ever. I understand now that just because she was hurt doesn't give her the right to abuse me. Remember, kids, you're not supposed to be scared of your friends. I still keep in touch with the rest of my friend group, and I'm grateful for them every day of my life for almost five years now. And Milo, you are so right. Sometimes you're got to get rid of the toxicity in your life. Life is too short for it, especially when it's a friend.

You're just like, I can't deal with these things. And it's very difficult to get to that point and to do something about it. And Milo, I'm very, very impressed with you because it is not an easy thing to do. And thank you so much for reporting back to us from the other side of it because you remind us that we need to take care of ourselves. Thank you so much, Milo. To my friends, thank you for listening to me while I scream about Dune, aliens being real, or Tom Cruise fucking fish. Lastly, I want to thank the LPN podcasters for being there when I work, when I can't sleep, or when I have to go to a noisy store. I never feel alone as long as I have you. Thank you for doing what you do. And thank you so much, Milo, for writing in yourself, shout out.

Happy almost fucking birthday! You're right, Polish Leo. do rule, babe. And thank you again so much for being a part of our community. And thank you to everybody that writes in yourself shoutouts, or just your regular shoutouts, or even if you're just letting us know a TV

recommendation we love hearing from you, page 7podcast at gmail.com. I hope you guys are making it through the rest of the summer swimmingly. Send a shout out to the leos in your life. Remind them that they are adored because we need to be reminded of that,

consistently. Love you guys so much. Have a great week and we'll be back. Oh, and I'll be 37 next week. So listen out. Make sure I sound older. Bye, everybody. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.