Page 7 - Ep. 550: Report My Instagram

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

This week Crypto Lord, MJ and Jackie are back and Bad Bitch Academy is in session! Paris Hilton channels her inner JoJo demon and announces she's going to save pop music, and Kim Kardashian apparently already has social media contracts for her children because, of course she does, Chappell Roan is havin' a time and is NOT feelin' H&M. It's the first episode since confirmation that JLo and Batffelck are DONESO and Holden argues IT IS THE GREATEST LOVE STORY EVER TOLD, MJ, $ick Crypto McNeely and Jackie's pleas are heard as HOURS after this Taylor finally endorsed Kamala. We're through the looking glass in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Bennifers Divorce; DID DIDDY DO IT!? And a List that seems tailor made for Page 7 - Old Hollywood Facts That Aren't Dark or Sad, Just INCREDIBLY INTERESTING. Blindz, Shouts and MOOOOOORE!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

No, Brat Summer is over, but what are we supposed to do when the Bad Bitch Academy just showed up? This is going to be another bit of a Brat Summer kind of singing because this is how Paris Hilton starts the song, Bad Bitch Academy. Step one, when you're getting ready, look hot. Step two, got to catch a cab to the bar. Step three, get a drink with a cherry and tied in the knot. Step four, dance your ass. off. Welcome to the Bad Bitsch Academy. Loves it. Welcome to the Bad Bitch Academy. Sliving. Yes. This album is really giving me, you know what, guys, it has been so hot. I know we're not supposed to bring up the heat. I know nobody cares about how ungodly hot it has been in Los Angeles, but it kind of has made my brain turn into butter.

And the only thing that I can smear this gel capsules upon. We're mixing metaphors. Bad Bitch Academy. That's right. The whole album should have been called Bad Bitch Academy. I know. I'm mad. Do you put gel caps on your toast?

Like you open up like an ibuprofen gel cap spread it on a piece of bread. You know what I do? I take my butter. I open up the gel. I squirt it out, right? I smear it all over my breasts because I think it makes them swell up and bigger. and then I take my butter so I make sure I only eat little bits of butter and I just shove it into the little capsules

so I can open it up on my hot bread and go, ooh! And I go, oh my God, it's just like my brains. It's just like, what happened to my brains? Because it's been 113 degrees outside. You can't leave. You can't leave. Beetlejuice just came out and I feel like the Beetlejuice house. Like if I walk outside, it just sandworms start attacking me. No, you are the world.

I know that sandworms are having their heyday in the sun right now, but Holden, be the worm, live the worm. Yeah, all I can go straight into the water. I can go straight to the pool at my apartment, or I, or I just catch on fire. I have not laughed. I don't leave, but I'm scared to like, sitting in the dark, but I'm scared to crank the AC. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're spitting out bugs and stuff like that, dude. I mean, it is fucking insane, dude. I'm telling you. Man, I was trying to eat my dogs out in the sun and even my dogs. The dogs become slogs.

Yeah, they become slogs. Yeah, man. I will say you were talking about Brad's summer ending and I think we have proposed the new era we're moving into and that is bitch autumn. Bitch autumn.

And we, yeah, we came up with this on Jack up with the Holdies last Friday and I'm ready for bitch autumn. We were not too drunk when we came up with it. And I'm ready for this time. I needed to cool down. I need to get grumpier. You know what I mean?

Oh, good. It's like brat into grump. Yeah. We want to be a grumpist now. It's time. Bad bitch autumnity. Just think about bad bitch autumnity and let it fill your bones because it is a monster fucker's time to shine.

Yes. All right. I know that people get, you know I get so upset about the Santa washing of Thanksgiving. And it upsets me. And I know that we shouldn't just throw brats. at summer away with the trash. I don't want to do it to you summer people. And yes, I'm looking at UMJ.

It's me. You summer people, I don't want to just throw away your favorite time of the year. So what is like, how do you say goodbye to summer? Or is it like as you like gleefully go goodbye children, go back to school? Is it that? I will say that having children has made me look forward to fall in a different way than before. because, you know, I always, I do, please bitch autumn. Bitch autumn.

I call it. It's appropriate name. It is, I am one of those people who gets very, very sad at the end of summer. And I'm singing, you know, we go together and I'm thinking about Greece. And I'm thinking all the good times are going to end. And I'm at Coney Island. You slack yourself up and you throw yourself down a slip and slide, which you definitely did do for a couple of times. I slip and slide it.

I took my kids to Coney Island on Labor Day weekend, just like the Jersey Shore crew, you know, said Labor Day is a special time to go find juice heads. Did you see gorilla season? Did you see all the juice heads come out? There's no juice heads at Coney Island, man. Everyone at Coney Island is on a harder, they're on a harder trip. Yeah, there's just fucking heads.

Yeah, they're all just freaked up out of their gourds. Yeah, everyone's like. And you're there, and I was so sad. I was like, I can't believe it's ending. And then here in New York, the universe knew, it was like, it was the minute Charlie XXX tweeted goodbye forever, Brant summer. The temperature dropped 20 degrees,

and now it's fucking sweater weather. I feel it was the opposite. Charlie was like goodbye, Brad Sumber. And then the devil in L.A. It was just like, floated! Don't leave us. California need you, Charlie. I'm just sitting in water all day, MJ. I just, I'm in a tub or I'm in the pool. I can't be outside of water for very long.

I've become some sort of gilly fish man. I can't do this anymore. I've seen this movie, I think. Oh, it's brutal. Yeah, some lady fell in love with me at a school. I was going to say, that's the movie. It was horrible. Don't start doing this.

We're in the middle of jumping the shark over on the Jackie's book club and the Patreon. And there's a lot of times with gills. So don't bring up gills in front of me. Yeah. The penis does have gill frills on top of it. And, you know, who knows what happens when it's inside of a pussy. Does that break a vagina or tantalize it beyond repair? You know what I mean?

Well, it depends on if the one or both of his cocks are inside at the same time. And actually both the answer is yes. So we're just doing pornography now. It used to be like vampire love. That's what happens over a Jackie's book club. It used to be vampire love, Jackie. Now you're just being a porpo, a peddler of pornographic materials. Maybe.

You're trying to get a job at that website. I know what you're doing. You're just trying to get a fucking job at that fucking website. If you work at Quinn and you need a new smut narrator, just let me know. Especially if it's like weird giant talking food. ones or like... He's a shark, thank you very much. He's an alien from Axelaria.

I'm referring to the corn man that you just did, the corn lover. The corn lover. He did cum butter. Yes. And I know that Jackie's... Oh, well, we're going to forget that the corn man came butter. We're trying to run. We're being like informers of the world to the world and the other podcast stuff, Jackie.

We're out here being like, this is what's going on. Us? On the plan. You talk about us? Yes. That's a we. You? Yes. We're talking about what's going on right now, Bad Bich Academy. You're saying this. Paris Heldon was abused at a school so that she could one day write Bad Bich Academy. That's beautiful.

Paris Hilton saving, she is single-handedly saving pop music according to Paris Hilton. I know. What a Jojo. Pop music has never been stronger, I think. I know. I love this. It's such a Jojo quote. I thought it was when Jackie sent the quote, I was assuming it was something that Jojo had said. and that it was Paris Hill. You could have given me 10 guesses. Who said I'm saving pop music? You could have given me 50 guesses. I wouldn't have said Parasel.

I also, you're not saying, I'm saving pop music. I think what she means by that is she is at least like coming from the old era. Some people view the Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears boy band era as like the peak ultimate, you know. People think that because of their age. Yeah, because they were young at the time. Exactly.

It was what was good to them when they were. middle school and we will carry it with us for the rest of our lives. We're living in the consequences of millennials being in charge. Everything is Rugrats themed. It's rough to long guys. If you got a target right now, it is wall-to-wall Rugrats. I don't know what's going on. There's Rugrats everywhere.

People are talking about Minecraft movie is bad. A goofy movie is the best children's movie ever made, which I didn't know. Which is great. Oh, my God. It's so good, MJ. Wait, wait. Oh, it's so good, MJ. And I'm going to show it to my kids.

And I'm not saying that the 90s nostalgia isn't. warranted, but I am saying that it is, we are, we, it started about five years ago, five to ten years ago when millennials started getting jobs at the head of the table. And now here we are, people saying, we need to go back to the era of the backstreet boys. Listen, I'll listen to the Backstreet Boys and I still do pretty much daily. My children love the Backstreet Boys. But we cannot hold up that time. And I know you weren't doing this whole. And you were just saying some people are like, the music that was good when I was young is the only type of music. And I'm like, guys, it was because you were young.

Yes. It was because you were young. I disagree. I think the music when I was young, that was that stuff was not nearly as good as what we get in pop music right now. I think I'm but I've also changed my tune. I think it was very different. Yeah.

Back to the day I was like, Alison Chan saw the good stuff and then the backstreet boy blow. You know what I mean? Or whatever. One of them's gay and they're in the closet. And everyone's like, whoa, which one? I'm like, Lance Bastion. They were like, what the fuck? How do you know that?

He was like, that's my favorite one. Goosh, gooosh, gooosh. And then some theater guy is just like, hey, want to help me lose my 5. Jetty, Jackie! He wasn't a theater person. He just happened to be gay and wasn't a theater person. I thought that he was a few you met through your experience with theater. Yeah, he was just a good friend.

I'm so telling you are Brian and you are gay. But I hope he found peace after that. What I'm guessing was a traumatic experience with you. For both of you. sounds like, what? Me? What?

I think that it is very, I think that Paris Hilton was saying, yes, that she's, assumingly bringing back old school idea of what pop music is, even though I don't even necessarily think that that's what she is saying.

I don't know. Yeah, what is she? I don't know. What does she mean? She is a provocateur. She knows how to be a provocateur. I think, unlike Jojo, where I think Jojo just like gaffes, you know, because she's young.

I think Paris is like, I know this will like make some people mad probably, but like they'll read it. They'll read the headline. And I mean, also we all know she's a character. She's a character version of, of who she is. Whereas Jojo is ain't no character. Jojo is not. She ain't no character. Well, at least we can say that.

Hey, can we give Jojo a compliment right now then therefore. Jojo is who she fucking is, bro. I believe that. I don't believe she's being cap on any level, dude. Yeah. I believe she is full up, Jojo, that person you see up there. Yeah. And I miss her.

Interested in seeing what ends up, like, where Paris Hilton ends up going because she's already advocating, trying to help the youth that are, you know, being sent to these horrific camps and schools. But she's also doing the new reality show with Nicole Ritchie. We know that they're shooting right now. Oh, yeah. And what is that? Like, so it's so, I feel like eyes on Paris Hilton of like what she is about to become.

And because now that we know that so much of what she was was a character and she used it to protect herself, what is this new version going to be? Is it going to only be the character or is it going to be a mix of the two? I don't know. ever since we found out about the resurgence of Paris Hilton and who she really is, I've been really just kind of staring at her from afar. Oh, yeah. Like, what's going to happen? Oh, totally.

And I also was thinking about this in the articles that you sent for today, Jackie, because I was like, why there was one of the articles that you sent about Paris Hilden referred to her as, I think, a singer and a businesswoman. And I was like, two interesting descriptors, not either, again, it gave me 10 words to choose to describe her. I don't know if those are the first two that I would pick, but I was like, yeah, she is a businesswoman, of course. And I was like, why is it that, like, I actually have grown to admire Paris Hilton more and more over the years? And that has not happened with Kim Kardashian.

It has been, if anything, the opposite. I never was thrilled about Kim Kardashian. I do admit she is a businesswoman, and she also seems to have very purposeful. And effective businesswoman. And is very thoughtful about her public image, and I think is also playing a character. in ways, right, similarly to the way that Paris Hilton is. But then there was just something about it where I was like, it feels like these two women and are similar in so many ways in terms of how they're perceived,

also how they present themselves. But there is something about Kim Kardashian where it just seems like so inherently objectionable. And then Paris Hilton's path has just made her more and more sympathetic to me. Yeah. I'm trying to look up to her different business ventures. There's a lot written about it for sure. She's definitely what she's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I do also wonder if there's a part of it of what she's experienced and what she's shared that it's made us feel closer to her.

That's true. In our paris social relationship with Paris Hilton of like, oh my God, what she went through. I think that there's that to the, sent to the like bad kids school, you mean? Yes. I think that there's like, there's that and what, and knowing what she went through that is added to it. Yeah. But I don't, I, again, I've never really looked too far into her.

Right. Necessarily. I only think about her when she comes up on the show. I don't think about her a lot. Yeah. She's got 1111. 1111 media is her business empire. Supports and invest in disruptive, for thinking companies like, get ready for a bunch of nonsense.

Daily, well, daily harvest, we get reset. Yat, yeah, jenies, good catch, sin water. joke where you're just naming different apps. Yeah, just naming nonsense. And pods with the Z. Oh my God. Which I think are the suicide pods. Those pods you get into and they just turn the thing or you push the button inside

of them and you just inj your life. It's really cool. That list of business ventures makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. But yet I still like her better than Kim. But maybe that's because of Kim's proximity to all the other horrible people. And her social media contract for her daughter. Yeah. her social media contract for our children.

Yeah, we're talking about a lot of yucky things. There's just a lot of, you know, sometimes cream rises to the top, and sometimes it's the crud. It really just depends. Hello, Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you. See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory?

Did you try to throw your air friar in the bathtub? But nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first. Then the Brighter Side podcast is for you. Oh yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, doo-do factory. Boo. Caca-like topics and try to find the brighter side.

Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network. You beautiful babies. Parent question for MJ. I really, when I was reading this article about Kim Kardashian having her eight-year-old daughter sign a social media contract, it's handwritten. It's meant to be cute, but it's also a little eye-roly for sure.

But it's like saying that they have to run everything by them and they can't post whatever and it all has to be. Also, it was saint. It was a son. Kim Kardashian's eight-year-old son. North already has a, yeah, sorry, finish your question. So that's my question. Is eight years old too young, far too young to have a... But what if they signed a contract?

I mean, this is one of those moments where you got to begin it by saying every family is different, blah, blah, blah, you know your kids best. And some are wrong and some are inherently really wrong about the way they do things. No judgment. Especially if they are... Et cetera. But what if the eight-year-old, again, the eight-year-old signs a contract that says I, St. West, agree to follow my mom's rules in order to have a YouTube channel. I'm not allowed to comment any personal family information.

I'm not allowed to film any personal information. I must show my mom or guardian all videos before I post them. I give permission to any grown-up if mom says so to delete my video for any reason. All right. I appreciate. these things being established. The content of the contract is actually not bad, I think. And I know a lot of families who do have an informal contract that they have with their kids

for their phone use, right? Like these are the expectations about the phone. And I think that, yeah, a lot of that makes sense. Do they have a dedicated person watching what he's doing and what he's posting and what he's recording? I mean, right, this is that. Do they have? Like, I don't, I mean, I, it's honestly, it is very.

hard because you can make a lot of decisions as a parent before you get to that moment, and those decisions are much harder when you get to that moment, right? I was a parent who intended to never let my kids watch YouTube until they were older, at least. And what is it, Putsy Paws? Pitsy balls. Pitchie Babies. Pitchie Babies. Is their current YouTube channel? FJ said the phrase Peachy babies in front of me so many times and I was like, what are you talking about? It is their favorite YouTube channel. It's a slime from a slime store in Austin, Texas, and it's just like a bunch of... Shut out to beat you babies! Zuber women making slime, and I'm like, okay, I guess, this is not some...

I know that if my friends who have two-year-olds came into my house, they would be like, well, I will never let my kids do this, and then maybe four years later they will be doing it. You know, so I'm just saying, you can have all the standards you want, and then you find yourself in these moments where you're like, oh, fuck. That said, I think there's a lot of evidence to show that, public-facing social media accounts for public-facing YouTube channels, public-facing social media for kids can be quite harmful. But again, that said, Northwest has her own TikTok and has had for a year, years.

You know, she runs it with her mom. But, like, the point is this child is now being put towards all this public scrutiny. Now, St. West's channel is public-facing. And I like that they shut the comments off on the time. The kids are posted. I like that there's no comments allowed. I appreciate that. The one thing that I really feel like, and again, I don't have children, so I know to take whatever I say with a fucking grain of salt.

The one thing that really yucks me out is that Kim Kardashian took a picture of the channel, her eight-year-old's channel. Yeah. And posted it on her Insta story and said, I finally allowed Sate to have a YouTube channel after signing an extensive contract. LOL please subscribe. That he can have, go ahead, make your own fans. Yeah, go create your own thing. But yeah, the part where you're promoting it. But to her millions of, like to open him up to so much like that for me is where I'm like,

oh, don't, oh, don't do that. Because the idea of the contract, parenting win for Kim Kardashian, the idea of the contract is to protect him, right? Yes. But then you're going to give. him an audience of a million millions of followers. That's just, I feel like inherently not protecting him. I think about this a lot because there's like, there's like a lot of parent content that I follow on Instagram that has been very helpful, but where the parents use their kids.

And I've just, I know I've talked about this before, but just over, you see the comments, you see what people say about kids. And I'm just like, an eight year old cannot really consent to this. Like I just, and I think it's different if you're talking about, if you have, a middle schooler and your middle schooler wants to get a public TikTok. I think that, again, right now on paper, yeah, I'm going to say no. Will I when it actually comes down to the moment? I don't know. I can see myself saying yes.

Also, because it's tough and you want your kid to fit in. But you're also not a Kardashian. Yes, right. You're not a card. Like, that's such a difference. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So your kid could have, I mean, I still don't want my kid putting, I think, film stuff out there. I think at that eight, I'd just be like, can we just create like like a, or you know what I do, I would be like, I'll tell you what, you can create a private YouTube channel that no one can actually see and we can like share it with your friends. That's what I've heard a lot of people do. Like make a video, make a private YouTube channel, let all your friends have it, you know, send it to all the links to the family, make it. Because I do like, it is very cute. Like my kids have been watching this YouTube channel and it's really their first experience

with that type of thing, these Zoomer women talking about slime. And it's very cute because my five and six year old are walking around being like, it's a vibe. I think it's very funny. And they think it's kind of fun to like pretend play of like what it's, you know, having a YouTube channel. And I'm like, yeah, have it be pretend play. Learn how to talk.

I was actually talking about this with a parent. They were like, oh, it's so gross when our kids start talking like that. I was like, you know what? If they watch this stuff and they learn about public speaking, they learn how they want to present themselves, they learn how to talk like a confident person who's like well-spoken on camera.

I have no problem with any of that. I think that's fine. Stay Gucci. Remember eight to the movie eighth grade. Yeah. Yeah, you want to talk about the vibe. That made me be like, I'm so, I mean, I always felt this way, but it was like, I'm so glad I didn't have a YouTube channel when I was in middle school because it would have been so embarrassing. It was hard enough.

Like, I had public diaries. I was hard enough. And it's the comments on it's like, I just think that the idea of being eight and putting this stuff out. And then when you're 20, looking back and seeing what people were saying about you, I mean, to some extent, you're a celebrity, you're Kim Kardashian's kids. you're not going to be protected from the public anyway. But I, yeah, I think that to the extent to which I think Kim Kardashian has actually been, has seemed to try to protect her kids from the public eye in many important ways. But then, yeah, when I learned about Northwest's TikTok, I was just like, and also the way

that they use Northwest on the show. I'm just like, I just don't think that you're protecting a kid. Hey, Witty, do you want to find out how annoying people think your voice is? Yeah, exactly. Or like, what a, like, people are talking about this 11-year-old girl, like, she's, like, such a little shit. And it's like, well, all 11-year-olds can be little shit sometimes. I don't know. I just don't, I don't, why are we, especially rich ones?

Especially rich ones. Why are we exposing this little girl to this? It's not. And so I feel like, I felt so, I do not think public-facing. I just read this whole book about this, this, and it's a mixed bag, the book, The Anxious Generation. but it's basically about how public-facing channels, public-facing accounts for teens, has a real impact on their mental health, you know?

And so then if you put that down to age eight, you're going to be, by the time you're 10, you're embarrassed about what you liked when you were able. Yeah, yeah. You know, so now you're going to have that, you're just going to have all of Kim Kardashian's fans. The way this eight-year-old plays with their toys is stupid and annoyed. Yeah, not to mention, like,

I try not to be too paranoid about predators or whatever, but I also just don't want hundreds of, of thousands of predators. You should absolutely be paranoid of predators. That's completely a thing. I try not to be paranoid about predators in real life. Like I try to not think that my kids are going to get stolen any time. We're outside.

Or there's like one hunting you in the jungle and it has heat sensors and a bunch of different weapons and it's arseful. Yeah. I try not to do that. That's just badass. You got to be scared of them. You got to cover yourself in mud. You got to cover yourself in mud.

Immediately. But yeah. Also, I'm just like, do you? You want Kim Kardashian? You know what it's like to be you and you want that for your eight-year-old. That's what I don't get. Like, Chapo Roads over here really suffering, not stop about how hard it is to be famous.

Let's talk about her suffering, please. Talking about her suffering a lot. Chapel's going through it right now. Chappell's going through it. For those of you that, like, the Rolling Stone article just dropped with Chapel, but literally like right before we recorded so we didn't get to read it at all. But like, we know she's struggling. You're struggling a lot.

And I get it. I mean, I don't really get it, but I understand that it must really suck. Be really difficult. Yeah, it would really be very, very hard. Yeah. Think about, again, what Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are going through and keep them in your thoughts. This is our first episode since we got the confirmation that they've been separated since April, which I think is about the time that we knew that they were separated.

But it is now official. Also, here we go. Here's a quote, another quote from the check. Apple Rolling Stone. All the money goes to the world building. That's why I'm saying no to every fucking brand deal right now because I'm like, does it fit in this world? No, H&M does not fit in this world.

Also, fuck HNM. No amount of money is going to make me consider working with anyone. That's me 100% right. What do it, what? H&M, why it's wrong with H&M? I am affordable. Like a fast fashion thing? I don't know.

I don't know. Probably, I would assume. It kind of feels like maybe it's just because I'm in the middle of working. on a D&D character right now, but it feels like Chappell's like really like finding herself and finding how she responds to things in the way that I'm figuring out how my D&D character would do. Yeah, I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm a bit of a nerd girl. Nerd girl, and you should watch the fuck out because Holden and I are going on an adventure.

You fucks! I'm talking about Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Okay, let's talk about them. Let's talk about it. Let's unpack this. And I'm sad for them, all right? I'm sad. But also, can we please?

We watched Jennifer Lopez get vilified, vilified, vilified, vilified. She's been insanely vilified for the last year. And then they talk about the divorce and her PR machine goes into overdrive saying like, Ben is an asshole. It's all Ben's fall. Ben did all the shit. Bend it all shit. And now do you notice how the internet is like,

like, yes, bitch. Like, revenge dress. Like, she just came out in this, like, I did see her in the dress. I mean, she looks fabulous. But it is all about like, yes, put him in the ground, bitch. And I feel- That is drinking problem. Calhap, badge.

My favorite. I just feel like, can we just, like, think about the PR and the internet machine for a moment. Think about On it to Armis. And how we are supposed to be told how we're supposed to feel about this person. Every headline tells you what you're supposed to feel. And right now, we say guvaha. And I still don't know.

Even though after watching the documentary, it was a lot, there was a lot more gufaha sentiment. Sure. But also to me was a total just evidence of how she, you know, tanked this thing, I think. You know, or maybe it just couldn't be. Because the other day, it was like Ben Affleck said, when he got together, he doesn't like being in the limelight in this way, but it was like, you know, with her, that's like getting married to a boat captain and being like, I don't like water.

Yeah. Because she is trying to be this like, you know, machine. Yeah, the big, uh, the star machine. Like, that's what she's interested in. So, yes, it's sort of just this love story that just couldn't have. It's a true Romeo and Juliet. You know what I mean? Where they're just drinking the poison, eating the poison.

It's almost like it's the greatest love story never told. Like if you really think about it. Well, it was told. It's called Romeo and Juliet. It's definitely told all of it's told. All of it has been told. All right, we know their love story as well. But honestly, the reason of the fact that it's told is the problem.

Initially, it was I-Rolley and not the greatest story or love story ever told. But now I think you could make a case for it being this brilliant, tragic love story that has been told for the first time. Because even though I did compare it to Romeo Juliet, it is kind of its own thing where it's like, you want, you know, you want to put your, you want to like create this whole image of yourself. out there and like and be you know a giant star and like have this great crazy resurgence and music career and all this stuff but it will come at the expense of the love story itself yeah it's brilliant it's kind of brilliant you kind of can't write it i think that the documentary made jalo much more of a sympathetic person but it didn't to me make ben affleck any less sympathetic it actually made them both they both were i was shocked by how humanized they were in the documentary but but i'm still

annoyed with her putting that book in that room for all those douchey songwrecked. Like, with their dumb hats. The book of his private love letters. We're with their stupid hats and their stupid name. One was named like Spider Slice and another one was named, you know. I mean, that's an awesome name. I don't think that's a stupid way. But whatever.

They all just look ridiculous. They're all just like, it's like his personal emotions and feelings. Over 20 years. A book of his private love letters over the course of 20 years and she just put them in front of a bunch of musicians to quote unquote get inspiration. Without asking. Without asking. And then they have the spin.

And I keep saying this quote because it is so funny and relatable to me. The quote that they put out about Ben Affleck was, Ben Affleck, quote, has a darkness to him that no other person can fix. And I'm like, yeah, bitch. I get it. But maybe if he has a darkness to him, no other person can fix, you shouldn't share his 20 years worth of private notes to you. I can't believe he truly is the Batman.

now that you put it like that. He really is. He's Bruce Wayne. He's a other person can fix. Yeah, he's Bruce Wayne. He's stuck in his bat cave. And, you know, she kind of came in trying. What do you think?

She's like Catwoman or Poison Ivy. What do you think? Poison Ivy. Maybe she doesn't have the red hair. Poison Ivy. She came in Poison Ivy. Yeah, but I think she could see her. Yeah.

I think he's just an artistic and depressive person. Yeah. And she is a narcissist. Yes. And that combination didn't go well together. I know I shouldn't find it as brutally cute as I do. but the fact that he like went to Jennifer Garner and essentially was just like, I mean,

everyone saw him in and out. And of course, you know, the kids are graduating. They've got the kids. You know, they are very much into each other's lives. But it seems like Jennifer Garner was really there for him and like helped him through this time period, which talk about a great as love. I know they shouldn't be together.

Obviously there are many, many reasons why they shouldn't be together. But I love Jennifer Garner. Yeah. And I enjoy following her on TikTok. And I hope there's not some dark, horrible past that I don't know about Jennifer Garner because I was really happy for her. Because I remember when she was like even saying like how my like after. Well, I guess I shouldn't say it. I don't want to give away you.

I say nothing. What? What? What happened to the podcast? What happened to the podcast? By the way, I said Ananda Armis for no reason earlier when I totally met Jennifer Gardner because I don't know. I'm bad with Dave. I mean, he did date and a dog.

And I didn't know if maybe you, like, had, like, some specific feelings about Anaday Armist that we didn't know about. No, no, but that's what it is. So I just kind of zoomed past it. Come on. It's me. It was always me. Remember that video with Ben Affleck with the dating video? I'll just say Jennifer Garner makes a cameo in a movie.

And she was talking about how she was worried about being strong enough. And she, like, got into, like, the muscular shape. And as someone that has been reading a lot about trying to get muscular, I was very impressed. Wolverine versus X-Men. I mean, Deadpool. I don't know anything. I know nothing.

She makes a cameo a deadpool. It's the movie's been out for a month and a half. All right, the movie's been out for a month and a half. She makes a cameo a Deadpool and Wolverine. Wolfreed versus X-Men. What's wrong with me? I don't know what's going on with me right now. Added to Arvice, X-Mid.

I don't know what's happened. It's almost like you just got back from a break. I know. Your brain hasn't been working and it's melted into butter and you've put them into a capsule machine. You're a puncher bread. Oh, my God. Interesting.

Interesting how it all comes back around. It's too hot outside. I don't know. It's too hot outside. And how did the celebs stay cool? Oh, do they sit in their giant air-conditioned mansions? I guess they do. I think they go on boats.

I think that they decide to like play the Super Bowl, I guess, because we are going to talk about Kendrick Lamar. He's going to play the Super Bowl. The only thing, which I imagine, around the world, everybody thought. what did Drake think when he saw that release? He must have been aware, obviously, that he was in talks, I guess. Like, I don't know if that's the kind of thing that people know about, but, uh, wow. I don't know if they brief Drake on that.

Yeah, he's about to get called the pedophile in front of the entire world again. That was the, you think he's not going to sing it? You think he's not, like, he's definitely going to say it. But that's also such a crazy track to you. halftime show. Well, we just had them. It's not that great. We just had them, too, though, on the, like, the whole ode to, like, the West Coast Rapsie with Snoop Dog and Dre. And I believe 50 Cent was a part of that, too.

And there was this whole crazy thing. I remember because it was the halftime show you wanted to watch with your father. And my dad talked the whole time. Didn't your father speak through the entire time? I don't want to watch it with him per se. I remember that. Yeah, they were in town for during the Super Bowl. So we just stayed home as a family and watched it.

I was just kept talking about. I was looking forward to the halftime show. And then, yes, he talked to me through the entire thing, even though I asked him to stop. And I'm not about what was on the screen. I don't, I couldn't even, it was like care. It was about like proper, proper carrot care or something. It was about like tennis or something.

Dad, stop. It really felt like, I fully regressed in that moment. I fully regressed. And I truly did want to, like, go smoke a cigarette about it. But, yeah, we just had him on. Because remember, they're not like us. It just makes me think of us. Oh, yeah.

Just come along. They're not like us. You're not like us. I just thought I was hopeful for a Miley Cyrus. Miley would have been great. I mean, listen, I'm extremely excited about Kendrick. But I do think it's very interesting to have, I mean, if he doesn't do not like us, it will obviously be a huge disappointment for everyone who's ever been alive.

He's going to do it. It is a, like, a disc track at the halftime show at the Super Bowl. Super Bowl. It's like not usually the vibe, but it's got to be. Oh, it's going to be good. Well, I'll tell you what, he even said in his video, I believe he said no, there were no round two. And that was a direct reference to Drake who inferred there would be a round two to this rap battle, which is the craziest thing I think he could have done. But then literally, Kendrick was like, no round two. I'm doing the Super Bowl. And I think that that essentially means like, I'm going to do the song to you. I don't, but that is so insane.

It is a diss track about a man being a pedophile, and it's what everyone is assuming will be performed at the Super Bowl on like the biggest stage you can kind of really perform on. It's amazing. It's such an insane amount of people. It's thrilling. Oh, it's great news. It's some of the best news we've got in a long time.

Hey, kudos the NFL. You guys might be responsible for so many concussions and deaths and mental issues with people. so many, just like if you could see a sea of people, it's probably how many people you're responsible for, but you're doing really good with PR lately. And it is so apparent between the T-Slist stuff. I don't know about that. Are we gonna?

Well, that was at the U.S. Open. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Okay, just, I just have to say, just Taylor, come on. We're all waiting. Just fucking do it before I have a mental breakdown. You're so, Kamala. And stop.

Endorses, Kamala! Endors her. And stop hugging the, the, the, evil blonde woman. Just please. Brittany Mahomes. Mahomes. The his.

The Holmes sounds like a frat boy nickname to me. It sounds like, doesn't it? Like, oh, Mahomes is here. Every time I see Mahomes, it sounds like a nickname.

It just sounds like an annoying name that you would call someone. Going to my homes. Especially now that we don't like her. Yeah. Yeah. So if your last name is Mahomes, I'll bet you're great.

But Brittany Mahomes sucks. And everyone knows she sucks. And Taylor probably knows she sucks. Or does she can. Some people say she's playing a minor. That's actually not true. She's not a pedophile. But other things might be true that make her evil.

And I just tailor she fucking say something. You have a bit of a breakdown. You must. Because the Swifties are out here like she's playing three dimensional chess. And I'm like, I don't think she is. I think she's trying to just. I think she doesn't want to. I think she doesn't want to.

I think she's conflict avoidant. Relatable. This is like that dumb and dumber moment, though. Like I feel like I will say in my experience, whenever I felt this way, and everyone just immediately starts dogpiling and it just becomes this wall of screams online and stuff. I will say she always ends up doing something to totally redeem herself.

So I'm just hoping that moment happens sooner than later. But also she does it, no offense, holden she does it in kind of a chicken shit way. Sure, okay. She didn't say like, yeah, the things Maddieham Haley said were racist. MJ, you and me disband. I'm going to make an album about how everyone was mad at me for dating a racist.

Yeah, it was hard in Texas for her, and they talked about it in the Florida song, all right? And everyone's like, you know, she said the thing in her documentary, but that was when her career wasn't at its peak, and now her career is at its peak. And listen, if my Instagram is any indication, I know we're going to talk more about the Mormons

on talking TV, but a lot of conservative women love Taylor Swift. And she is, I know that she endorsed Biden in 2020, but I, yeah, she's just got to do it. She's just got to say, I was saying, do you realize how many Swifties for Trump shirts

I saw when I was in this? Why? Why? It was so specific that I was like, I feel like I'm being attacked right now. Yeah. And I did say too before I literally was like, oh, this forces her hand

when douchebag McGee posted a fucking AI. And then nothing. And then like the Viena thing happens. For those of you that don't know, there was an AI contract release. This happened over the last week. There was an AI contract saying, that the relationship she has with Travis Kelsey is all PR that it is supposed to end on

September 28th of this month, which is coincidentally the first NFL game of the season, and it's also National Beer Drinking Day. And according to this obviously fake breakup contract, even though it has, apparently lawyers are getting involved because it does have Travis Kelsey's PR team name at the top of the contract. So they are getting lawyers involved. So this is going to be a long drawn out thing for them, I imagine. And it's probably really fucking annoying for them, which is kind of fun. So there was that AI thing, but then there was also the other AI thing of her, the image of Taylor being like, I want you, it was like Uncle Sam, it was like, I want you to vote for Trump. And that was when Holden

was like, oh, well, this will push her hand because she has spoken out against the AI stuff before. And And we were all joking last summer, like, after those horrible AI nudes of her came out, we were like, maybe Taylor's going to push the swiftly power onto, Taylor has the power to break up Live Nation and Ticketmaster. Taylor has the power to fight AI because she's got this army of people behind her. But you know what? She has the fucking power to do. Endorse a candidate who's not Donald Trump.

To vote for Kamala. Get out the vote. Just do it. Like, just do it. And she has not yet. And I know. obviously we all know any choice she makes

has nothing even to do she might really be wanting to do these things but she obviously is run by a whole team of people and we do have to remember that she is a machine she is not one person she's many people I'm not saying that she's I am also begging

I know but you're right and it feels very focused grouped it feels like her team is like what how can we do with a guy we can't alienate And I truly do appreciate that public figures have to, you know, you have to walk this line of like, okay, this will piss off this person, this will piss off this person. You know, these are the choices that you have to make as a public figure. And I am sympathetic to her about why sometimes she's like, everybody leave me alone. But in this case, the stakes, I think she just wants to act like the stakes are not immediate and

very high. And I think that she, I think the stakes are immediate and very high. And I think that's the problem. Like even the Maddie Healy stuff, there was no ambiguity there, but it wasn't a, about immoral ambiguity, I think. But it wasn't a public crisis

that involved millions of people's lives and the election does, you know? It's early yet. I just think I've seen this so many fucking times where everybody is just needs, and this is the thing I don't love. Everyone needs like instant gratification or instant whatever they're screaming for online.

And I don't think, think it works like that. So it's just, I want to get, I'm totally not at the point that I see so many people already at, like, but I'm also sitting here, just, or just being like, fuck, you. You know what I mean? It's just like, hey, come on. All right. Chill. You know what I mean? And I will say, I just, all I will say about like the Britney Mahom's stuff is that I agree that it's not that way now, but I do wish that we could get to a point where you could be in a picture, hugging a friend that is a Republican or something of or doesn't agree with your viewpoints and it's not like you're hugging Satan and everybody thinks it's disgusting because I miss that.

That used to be this country. And I think we can get back there, but I also agree that we have to get past this dumb fuck part. You know what I mean? And I don't know that it will ever change back to how it was, by the way. But I'm hopeful. I don't know. I think it made a lot of great.

I know. I don't know if there's, I think it actually has changed it forever. I have hope. Yeah, I don't think there is going back. I have hope that we can get back to a place where we're more, we're like a little less totally divisive. I think that even if she went to the U.S. Open with Brittany Mahomes and had a good time singing, I believe in a thing called love, it would have been fine if she had just, you know what I mean?

I think that you could just endorse Kamala or be like Trump is bad. Yeah. But she's my friend, right? I don't even, I think no one is expecting you to never speak to any of your Trump supporting friends or relatives again, right? But what they are expecting you to do if you're a public figure is to make your own beliefs clear. Please, God. Yeah, it does. And it will change how I feel.

It will. I'm finally willing to concede that it will change how I feel and I will be seeing wicked in 2024. Wow. I cried while watching the trailer yesterday. I got to go with that. I can't wait. You and I got to go to go. I know it's over the holidays.

I know. Although they did show what's his face. I was just a dark bringer. What's his name? Ugly face. Spudge Bob. Ethan Slater. That was mean.

I'm sorry. Ugly face. I mean, it's, what is that? Ugly. No. I'm sorry. You're not. Now, Jack,

why don't you get to the I'm sorry. I feel bad for his ex-wife. Okay. I did want to bring up real quick that I was excited that MJ. That's such a schoolyard grade school. I'm sorry. He's not even that ugly.

I don't know why he said it. Ugly face. It's my turn on for the monkey bars. Like that's where we're at. We do have to get to the celebrity conspiracy, but that is funny they showed him. Is he like a little goblin man too? right? Is he like, no, no. What were you to say about me? It was just a moment because I wanted to bring up the Lee and Moriarty book because there's a new Leanne Moriarty book and I was excited because you

started reading, it ends with us. Yes. Over the break. I'm almost done with it. It was a bit of the power of the slog at first and now I'm into it. But man, this, I'm just going to say, Coho, I know we said it last time, I'm going to say it again. She ain't no Leanne Moriarty. Yeah. She is not Leanne Moriarty. And yes, we were chatting before we started recording and I just went, a new book by Leanne Moriarty. So that's exciting. I'm reading the sequel. It begins with them.

Hey, yo, hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Benifer's divorce. Did he do it? This one comes in from Jeremy who writes, hey, you fucking idiots, I have a fucking conspiracy for you. Is Benifer 2. Whoa, Jeremy.

Is Benifer 2.0 a divorce? I mean, honestly, I kind of like the aggression. I think sometimes you've got to come in hot. The energy we're here for it. Yeah. Gave me that kind of roundtable vibe a little bit. I'm here for it a little bit. Is Bidifer 2.0 headed divorce because of material found in the Diddy raid?

Shug Knight thinks so. That's right. I'm also bringing Shug Knight into this. Links to an article that reads as follows. Shug Night believes that the rumor to be impending divorce is a result of the FBI giving the Daredevil actor footage of the Jenny from the Block Singer, engaging in illicit activity that they recovered from raiding Diddy's homes a few months ago. Knight gave the full breakdown of his.

theory under the most recent episode of his collect calls with Shug Night podcast. That's right. Shug Night has a fucking podcast. I didn't know about that either. Um, they go raid, this from Shugnight, they go raid Puffy's house and they get all these videos of JLo doing this and Jalo doing that, he said. Also, recalling her involvement in the 1999 nightclub shooting, where Shine took the fall for the mogul. And they know the fact that Jalo lied and said that the gun was Shines or whatever and sent that man to prison destroyed his life. And she knew it was buffies. The former death row record CEO claims that the FBI gave the footage to Affleck as a solid so he could be privy to what was going on. This is my favorite quote. This is my favorite quote.

He can be privy to what was going on before the videos potentially the public. This is from Shugdai himself. It's a white man who got respect in the white world, he said. I'm quite sure they said, we want to show you some things about your wife. I'm quite sure they headed for divorce because that's a man who had a good life, he said. Great parents don't spend a lot of money. Ain't tripping off paparazzi. He's living his life. He got his own team. She done brought all that extra shit out. And now the motherfucker, he won out. Take care and maybe have a brandy Alexander in tribute of MJ's native area. Wow. What's a brandy Alexander? What is a brandy Alexander? I'm looking at it. MJ, you don't know what it is? I feel like that was supposed to be your moment to... The cuisine of my

native land is turkey and dressing sandwiches. It sounds like. What is it? It's one part of one part cognac, one part creme de cacao, and one part fresh cream. It sounds like a creamier coniac. Yeah, it looks like... It looks like... It looks like Teremosu, or it looks like a full-on dessert. Like, it does not look like a drink. Honestly, I'll fucking... I'll drink one on the yeah. Brandy Alexander to you as well. All right. So what do you think? Do you think you a bit of Affleck's a white man in the white man's world of the FBI was like, you're white. We want to show you some tapes from Diddy Sal. I feel like I need to sit down and read this several times.

And yeah, I need to unpack this. The FBI hooked. Do you know how the FBI hooks it up sometimes? I mean, I've had the FBI hit me up a couple times. Just be like, hey, just so you know and send me some tapes. Like, I've had that happen before. I don't know if they would do him that guy to solid. Like, I feel like they don't give a shit enough about Ben Affleck to do this.

I can't believe Shug Knight has a podcast. Can we just start there? Can we just unpack that part? thing. This is like a 20-year deep conspiracy theory, too, going back to when J-Lo and Diddy were together. And the gun? And the whole gun thing with Shine?

I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, this is above our pay grade, okay, in many ways. So many ways. So many ways. But I'm grateful to you, Jeremy, for writing in. And I want to know more about why you think I'm associated with the Brandy Alexander because I can't figure it out. I think it's a regional.

and British. I'm neither. It seems to have originated in New York City, and I do live here, but I'm not from here, so say more. I thought it was more the casino-filled, you know, landscape you came from, I don't know, you know, that it was like a riverboat drink or something that you like to have. Apparently John Lennon loved them. Oh. So. Very nice.

I mean, the drink that you get in Dubuque, Iowa is called the Apple Pie Shot, and it is made in a woman's slow cooker. And it's just in the back of this one bar called the lounge. And I don't even think the lounge is open anymore. So I really am confused. Wow. I'm confused. I'm going to say, what is it, moon juice?

What is the name? What is the, like the bathtub? Bathtub news? Moonshine. Moonshine. You know what? You got that moon juice. You could hook it up with some moon juice, bitch.

I think we're going to, I think Jackie and I are going to have to take a, like, a, um, What's the call a friend, phone a friend for this one about whether we believe or not on this conspiracy theory. Yeah. I just don't feel equipped. Because I'm still hung up on the Brandy Alexander. Me too. I can't think about anything else. It was invented at a New York City restaurant called Rectors.

Aren't leaving newer. Rector never anything matter. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh, my God. No. Okay. All right.

Now we, okay. Oh, is it time? I guess we believe, yes, we don't believe. I don't know. I don't know. I think it's out in the... I'm gonna leave that one up to the fates, whether that's true or not.

But hey, that's... I just said, honestly, you know where my brain went? I'm just sad if there were any tapes of J-Lo in that, I hope that no one has seen them and I hope she's aware that those tapes exist. That's really where my brain. You want to protect J-Lah. I want to protect J-Lo.

Even though we know she's a heinous bitch. I'm not saying that she's an angel. Allegedly. Allegedly, she's a heinous bitch. But you know. Oh, I love a heinous bitch. I am one myself. Yeah.

I mean, she doesn't, I don't want the FBI to be involved with her bitchery unless it needs to be. Interesting that neither one of you said, no, Jackie, you're not a bitch. No, Jackie, wait a second. No. We just like to hold the phone. J.Lo's a bitch. You're not a bitch. No.

That's what I expected. It's time for the list. Sing me the song. I'm the bitch. Oh. Who's on the list. Me. Jackie.

Got to have that list. I thought about you. Mm-hmm, M-J. Whoa. Hollywood facts that aren't dark or sad, just incredibly interesting. Isn't that nice for it? That is nice. There's no upsets here.

Fred Astaire was a skateboarder. He picked up the sport when he was in his 70. What? And has a lifetime membership in the National Skateboarding Society. Wow. Can I just say real quick before we move on? Okay, someone's clearly listening to the show. The title of this.

fucking list is, I think, the greatest indicator that someone's definitely listening to the show. And making lists for the show. 17 old Hollywood facts that aren't dark or sad. It's incredibly interesting. It's the most specifically written title for our show. Why do you think I had to choose this list? This is, yeah, I think the author of this list.

Audrey at BuzzFeed, please write in Pate 7 podcast at gmail.com and let us know how much you like this show because there's no fucking way you did not create this list. just for us with that title. That is insane. And it starts with Fred Astaire. Hello. I know. And the second one is Fred Astaire too.

Also Fred Astaire started taking dance lessons because his older sister started taking dance lessons and his mom didn't want to spend money on a babysitter. So she sent Fred as well. That's very sweet. Yeah. Not dark. Not sad. Very nice.

Very friendly. What about thinking about my people. Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford for. don't know them are credited with bringing Alfredo to the stuff. I don't know this. After an Italian chef came up with it, just listen to him, came up with it for his pregnant wife,

and the acting pair asked for the recipe on their honeymoon in Italy. And isn't, okay, where is Hollywood? This entry. I'm a riot carry this entry. I truly do not know her. I don't know her. Yeah, where is Hollywood in this?

They brought Alfredo. But who are they? We don't. Don't, well, it's right here. It's Judy Garland. Judy Garland has a rose varietal named after her. Garland rose bushes are planted outside of her crypt. A little sad. A little sad. A little sad.

Her crypts. That's nice. Okay, okay, okay. Humphrey Bogart was an avid chess player and played correspondence chess with soldiers overseas in World War II. He was told to stop when the FBI intercepted a letter and mistook the chess notations for a secret code. Secret spies! That's a little bit sad, too. I won't need the next one because we don't know her. People had to stop playing chess with Humphrey Bogart

because they were afraid there was, it was a morse code about bombs. Little dark. Little dark. Little dark, but you're bringing in the darkness, but James Cagney was bringing in the light. Not really. Prior to 1932 films, James Cagney was in.

We're shot with live ammo. Wow. For the film Taxi, Cagney started to refuse the use of live ammunition after a near miss where a bullet deflected off of the steel window and hit the wall where his head had been. And that is why we stand James Cagney. We don't stand Alec Baldwin. No. Also, this is dark. These are a crypt.

We've got a bullet at the wall. See, this one's not dark at all. It's just interesting. Elizabeth Taylor had a rare genetic mutation known as, dysdachiasis that gave her two rows of eyelashes. Oh, that's cool. So it always looked like she had fake eyelashes on because she had double rows, which is fun. But also, Henry was, when his baby teeth started coming in, he had two rows of teeth.

And it was horrific. That's terrifying. Yeah, like cone heads. They had to, like, shatter the top of his palate to, like, spread his mouth. They needed to make his mouth wider. to try to fit in the teeth. I think they found him. Did they find him in like a barn or something,

one fateful night? Something. I just, there's, yeah, starting to have conspiracies, sorry. The Henry item was darker than anything on the list. So you're not. That's a storm. It's wonderful.

They had to remove a robe of his teeth. They had to, as a five-year-old, as a five-year-old, crack his teeth. Yeah. They got in there. Yeah. Crossby, though.

What about being Crosby? he had to re-record White Christmas because the original wore out from being pressed into records so many times. That's, damn. That's like a moment in time that would never happen again. So then you think,

is that insane that we must listen to the re-recording of White Christmas and not the original? And I wonder how different or if it was any different. It was like a ska song originally. I'm timid up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, find it up,

it's a white Christmas. Billy Holiday used to babysit Billy Crystal. Double billies must have got confusing. Are you Billy or my belly? Are you the baby? You're my visitor. And last but not least, Tim Burton originally won Sammy Davis Jr. For the role of Beetlejuice, though the role ended up going to Michael Keaton after Burton was impressed by his improv skills.

All right, fine. I guess I'll advertise it. Visit of the Bruiser with a Beetlejuice episode coming, I think maybe this Monday, though. I don't know if it's out. Yes, apparently Tim Burton went in to Geffen and Warner Bros or whatever and was like, it has to be Sammy Davis Jr. And he went on this tirade and they were all like,

are you insane? That's a horrible choice. He was like, it must be him. And he just like went on this crazy rant in the room and just wouldn't let it go. And then finally he was like, all right, fine, it doesn't have to be Sammy Davis Jr. They were also possibly Sam Kinnison, which would have made sense. But somehow Michael Keaton got in there. even though Tim Burton wasn't really familiar with him

and he'd done Mr. Mom and stuff like that up to this point but nothing really close to this incredible role that he did with Beetlejuice and he was not going to take the role and Tim Burton was like you can do whatever you want with him and so he like came up with a lot of the stuff around that character he came up with a bunch of the choices and like the look and everything and I just love him so much in it

And I'm so glad Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice is doing well. And it might be a little bit of return to form for Tim Burton. And by the way, the biggest tell that I thought it might be a good movie that could do well, he went back to, like, as practical effects as he possibly could do. And away from the CGI just, he was so alienated for making Dumbo. Because it was so bad that it finally broke him from his horrible, this horrible cycle of making just, CGI just garbage.

It's been a minute, Tim. You've been trapped in quite a world, and I'm so glad that you have broken out of it. So happy that he did. And Jan Ortega, partly to think. He went off and made Wednesday the TV show and, like, working on that show. And obviously, she's in Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. So working with her. Obviously, he learned a lot from Wednesday as someone that has seen both.

All right, please. He really did kind of reinvigorate himself. And he was like, I want to make movies for the love again. That's right, Timber. Thank you, Tim Burton. Thank you, Tim Burton. All right, I arrest my case. And I cannot see.

Whoa. I think I'm going. We can't see them. Sorry, I made it scarier this time because we're moving into the spooky times, aren't we? Isn't that a lot of fun? Is it? My brain is melting.

Why yes, that was the foreign-born former boy bander having a quick lunch with the actress slash director. Interesting. It was a real go-to-lunch, lunch. Harry Stiles. And Margo? Fucking Olivia Wilde.

Yes, linked to it, this blind link to an article on she knows.com about sources claiming that Olivia Wilde is still open to a relationship with him. Also, personally, I'm having the hardest time

differentiating between Olivia Wild and Olivia Munn. Can we talk about this? Yeah. It's killing me. Talk about a conspiracy theory. Yeah. They have the extremely similar name and look pretty samey.

And I can't, I'm done. Do they look similar? I think it might just be the name Olivia, though. I'm done trying to figure out who's with John Malaney and who was sucking on styles, you know, and a world in a go to the movie controversy. The fact that I have to look it up to see, do they look that day? I think goes to show that, like, we work in celebrity gossip. and I still have to go, do you that look that different? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, and I do have to go, Olivia Munn. Right. So I get it. Yeah. I guess I'll just remember Olivia Wilde was, because she was wild making, Don't worry, darling.

Olivia Munn, she's a mum. How about this? Because she had John Mullaney's child. Yes, Olivia Munn is a mom, and Olivia Wilde has a wild style. Yes. Oh, hairy styles. Harry Styles, wild style. Wild style.

That's the way to remember. Okay, thank you. Thank you. That's why you're teaching. That's why you're natural born. Numeric devices. Yeah, yeah. And I just pissed myself, you gotta deal with it, MJ.

We gotta go change. That's why you bring a change of clothes. You bring a change of clothes in your backpack. Right back guys. I have to get out of my piss-soaked underwear. It happens to everybody. You can't let them sit in it. Yeah.

Can't let me sit in it. I get too horny. You've got an extra pair of pants in the nurse's office for this very reason, Holden. We always keep an extra pair of very large sweatpants. that will fit anyone in the whole school. There have already been fights between these two brothers. If you were traveling to one of the concerts, get some travel insurance.

Oh, the Junis's. The Junis is. No. The different massive thing about the other. Oh, man, there's been, oh, man. Different brothers. And there's different brothers that always fight. There was a whole article that Jackie put in the articles about it.

This week? Yeah. I was going to say Hansen, because they're going on tour against. They seem to just adore each other. Older. Big concerts. Big concert. Big reunion concert between brothers that always...

Oh, Oasis? Yes. Oh, Oasis. They're brothers. Liam and Noel Gallagher, that's like the whole thing, is that they're brothers and they hate each other. Are you kidding? I know nothing about OASA. Oasis is the biggest.

It's got to be the day that to die. The Don, to Broder Rock. Yeah, I know that song. I know the, like, two or three songs. A champagne supernova. You know, you're familiar with it. Champagne Supernova. Oasis is the largest blind spot, question mark, whatever, however I want to say it.

That's crazy. Everyone spent all week talking about Oasis and I was like, I'm not going to learn. So this blind spoke to my heart. I feel like I've told this story before, but maybe I haven't. Stories. Yeah, see, I'm regressing already talking about it. When I was very young, I, my, my cousin's husband there since divorced, he worked at the stadium where the Charlotte Knights

would do their balling games, the minor league baseball team. And he worked there for the stadium and Oasis was performing there. And I was a fan, loved the album, listened to it on repeat. And he was like, you know, he always said, like, if there's ever a concert

that comes to that stadium, I can get you free tickets. You know, I can get you in. And like, we went to ball games for free. And so OASIS, I was like, OASIS, I really want to go. He got me and my buddy tickets. and I was waiting for a car to pick me up to go to the show. And I was so excited. This is when you, like, didn't get to do stuff like this all the time.

So this was, like, the thing I looked forward to, like, all month. You know what I mean? Waiting for the car to pick me up to take me to the show. News hits. The brothers got into a giant fight and canceled the show, like hours before the show. Wow. I was devastated. More so.

Okay. On top of this, and this is like a kid's dream, right? I talked to my cousin's husband, they are since divorced, and he said, not only did I have tickets waiting for you, I had T-shirts and backstage passes. Wow, this is like a whole

an origin story that... Yes, I was fucking devastated. I was fucking devastated, dude. I mean, really, because I was already not like the happiest person at this time in my life. No. And I really, like, needed these kinds of things

to look forward to. At the same time, I always thought, what a shit show that backstage would have been as two kids, two like middle school kids or something. Well, I don't even know how old I was. They wouldn't want you back. It would have been a night. It would have been just like throwing whiskey at each, like glasses at each other. You know what I mean? It would have been insane because they were, they're maniacs.

I don't know if you know this. People are going to be so mad at us for not knowing they were brothers because people are, I have a friend who's flying to Edinburgh to see that. Yes. Because she is such an oasis fan. And all the fuck ups with the. tickets and ticket master that I really didn't know I'm going to go and say until I was reading through these stories I was like people still love Oasis this much oh yeah as I was reading through it was like oh man I had no what a huge blind spot I missed out I know the three songs I know

Champaign Supernova I know Wonderwall I know don't look back in anger those are the three that's what I know about OAS that's it yeah but where do you do you start at the beginning uh there's just like the one album that's the crazy thing that's the crazy thing They put out like one incredible, maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's more than one, but I thought they just put out like one insanely good album, maybe two, and then just- They like, Rubekinega. They like can't stand each other, you know? They like can't stand each other.

Yeah, they were like supposed to be our Beatles. And then they were just like insane crazy. There's one award show where one of them is performing and the other one is purposely getting hammered in the audience and like berating. the other brother on stage. How do you think their parents feel? Their parents must just be like, you boys, stop it. I don't get to stop it.

They have this classic hatred. Okay, they put out two, definitely maybe and what's the story morning glory. And heathen chemistry, I don't remember that one. But anyways, yeah, it's like the, but those albums are extremely good. You know what I mean? Like, they're just extremely good, especially. Well, they do look like brothers.

We probably shouldn't have known, Jackie. I guess. But when did you look at a picture of a way? This is last. Never. I mean, today, right now, and I'm like, wow, they look like. A lot. Me, a lot.

Because I was really a big fan at the time. And I'll always remember them because of this. Their brothers. Did you know that? Just tragic. Yeah, everyone knows their brothers. That's the whole story. That's all fucking point of the story.

That's literally the whole point of the thing. Oh, we're going to get so many emails. We were worried people. That's why it's crazy. I'm okay. We're allowed to have blind spots. We're allowed to not know about oasis. Okay.

but people are going to be very upset. That's what makes it so dramatic and crazy and interesting that they reunited after all this time that, you know, because it's like for the longest time it was like, oh, they can't even be in a room together. Like they hate each other. Like they just start fighting. That's sad.

That's really sad for them. It's sad. It's kind of funny, though. It's kind of funny, though. It included the dynamic pricing because they were trying to make as much money as humanly possible because they probably didn't really want to do it, but they knew they were going to make so much fucking money.

Yeah, I'm always glad to see this. Dynamic pricing is ridiculous. I'm so, I'm always glad to see any investigations into Ticketmaster and Dynamic Pricing. It's what's ruining the concert industry right now and like being able to see bands you want to see at a reasonable price like we used to be able to do. And you can opt in or out of it. The only problem is even if you don't opt into dynamic pricing and Ticket Master fucks you over, then it's the scalpers that fuck you over. Because they buy up all the cheap tickets and then they jack up the price times three. four or five, right? So it still doesn't like solve, if they got rid of dynamic pricing,

it wouldn't even fully solve the problems. It was the scalper problem. But I despise dynamic pricing. It's fucked everything up for everybody. And especially if it's something like this, I mean, forget about it. Like, yeah, everyone's incensed. Everyone's like, I wanted to buy tickets and I can't get a floor seats fucking $400. You know, and it doesn't start at $400. It starts at a reasonable price. And then because so many people are trying to buy it at once, The computer system goes, oh, jack it up, check it up. They'll buy whatever. They're idiots.

They'll buy it for $400. And they do it right in front of your face. So, like, it'll be reasonably priced on the onset. And then when you're, like, in the process of getting the tickets, like, oh, actually, psych, these are like $400, bro? You're going to buy it? It's Oasis. Like, what are you going to do?

Yeah. It's so obnoxious. It's so gross. And I fucking hate it. Also, this Canadian comic slash actors filed paperwork to start his own church. Rob Schneider. Good guess, no. Whoa, Michael Myers.

No, but good guess, great guest. Dana Carvey. No, he's taken more, he's really funny, explosively great comedic actor. Jim Carrey. Yes, I was going to say that got taken more seriously as an actor after time, yeah.

That tracks. He's very, like, spooky, spiritual kind of lately, and so I can totally see it. Sonic 3 trailer yesterday as well. Oh, yeah, hell, yeah. Yikes. Jim, they're just, man, they were just like, Ed Sonic 3, Jim Gary, just, you know, do whatever the fuck you want. It's what it seems like was the direction.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. There you go. I can see again. Look at us. I miss you guys, man. This was so fun. I know. I missed you guys too. I miss whatever we're on break.

I'm like, I want to talk to Jackie and Holden. It's a testament that we didn't even, like, a lot of the articles were like kind of unfun. And don't worry, we will get into the Lincoln Park stuff on the, leftovers, by the way, if you want to subscribe to the Patreon, patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. There were a lot of like not as fun stories to talk about, I feel like, and I still laughed my guts out today with you guys. Yeah, no, I'm happy to be back. Yeah, I missed you guys. And yes, we miss you and I'm so happy. So happy to be back. And that means that again, oh, monster fuckers rise up. It is our season. It is going to get spooky.

It is getting colder. We're going to feel it. We're going to be out of this soon. My name is Jackie Zbrowski. You can come hang out with me while I melt to death over at Jack That Worm on my Insta, if you'd like. Or you can come hang out at Twitch.tv. TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie where MJ and I play The Sims, and we've got a lot going on. And I have been working on separately from MJ and I. I have been creating my own whore home, and I'm creating a bunch of big, fun people that get to go and bang it out.

so come hang out with us. Switchot TV forward slash, oh no, it's Jackie. Report my Instagram. It was hacked. We didn't even talk about how you love crypto now. Holden loves crypto

and his home screen is a picture of himself. I've got some new NFTs. They're a picture of just old guys' penises and like Lemon Party.org and stuff like that. So get my NFTs. Poor Holden. Yeah, report my Instagram. I'm going to have a new Instagram.

I'm going to have to really start screaming about it on future episodes once I get a, new one. But yeah, I guess just don't buy crypto from someone claiming to be me. But also if you do, like, come on, buddy. Like, you need, like, I don't know. I think you need like more help than just that advice that I'm giving you right now. That or you should be selling a lot more and make that Bitcoin money, I guess. Yeah, I guess right in if you bought my crypto from fake me so that I could get a litmus test because if I get enough people saying they bought it and everything, maybe I'll just start actually selling crypto.

Maybe it's what you need to do. Yeah, that would be maybe a good idea. I just need to get some crypto, all right, but you can get some cards of me holding bitcoins and the lead up to the election. No, check us out. Twitch.tv. forward slash holdenators ho. Every Friday, Jackie and I sit down and get screaming drunk and party and watch music videos

and have a great time with everybody. So check us out on there, Twitch.tv.4. slash holdenators ho, which has not been hacked yet. And also, you know, I'll repeat it again, Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. It is at the $5 layer, weekly bonus episodes, the leftovers, all that good stuff. And that Buffy Watch along in the $10.

Jackie's Book Club. Also, I will say Jackie's book club. We're screaming about it. Yeah, that's great. I just received a comment that says, I had to stop listening to this at work. I'm loving the shift to these fun novellas. Thank you, Jackie.

They said we got spoiled with the amount of dirtiness in this episode. These novellas are. are spicy coming out. Jackie's Book Club is what I'm saying. Hell yeah. MJ? I'm MJ. I am not yet hacked on Instagram, and I'm MJ K. L. Kat. Let's sing the song, y'all.

Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read it to you. Come on. Oh, hooray, hooray. It's time for the shout-outs. Hooray, it's time for all our shoutouts.

Whoa, a double song. I guess that's what we needed today. Now, Erin, you sent in this email, but I'm not sure if you wanted me to read it, but I feel like if we're really going to get people on board, I got to read it loud and proud. Thank you so much for telling us about this show, and I definitely want to check it out. Aaron says, I'm Aaron. I've listened to Page 7 podcasts and have been a listener since episode one when I was living in Japan. and needed to fight off homesickness.

I am a queer non-binary person, and when MJ started their transition, it solidified my love for you all even more. I've been to every show you've put on in Michigan and even made you a whole bunch of bracelets for your last adventure in Royal Oak. I remember you, Aaron, I remember you. But Aaron is saying I am reaching out

because yet another amazing queer representation in media has been thrown under the bus. Have you watched Dead Boy? detectives. Probably not because Netflix fucking sucks and did little to nothing to promote it. But it is fantastic and queer and mysterious. Think gay ghost hearty boys, which yes, yes, yes. And when I first saw it, I thought of you and wished you'd cover it. Now that it is canceled, I am working with a group to try and get it uncanceled. Would you be willing to give the show a watch? And if you like it, mention it on the show and help us get more eyes on it.

Aaron, I'm doing you one even better before I start watching the show, which I'm definitely going to start doing. I wanted to give out the call to everybody. Dead boy detectives, we should be watching it over on Netflix. Again, gay, ghost, hearty boys. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you so much, Aaron, for telling us about it. It would be forever grateful for you on top of my already great, great admiration for the work you do. I love you, Aaron.

Thank you so much for letting us know about this. And also the pictures you sent, made me just, oh, I want to slurp it, slarp it with a spoon. So again, that is dead boy detectives over on Netflix. And thanks so much. And I'm sending you so much love, Aaron. Thanks for hanging with us for so long. Next up, oh gosh, we're a little late.

We're a little late, but it wasn't our fault. We were on break, Yael. I'm sorry. Yael sent in an amazing birthday shoutout. And yeah, you know what? This isn't late. We're just extending their birthday. So you're welcome, Dante?

Because Yael wants to send a birthday shout out to their amazing partner, Dante. Dante's 30th birthday is coming up on September 9th. We missed it. And I am screaming, happy birthday. Happy, happy birthday. Is that the kind of screaming you needed through me? Yael, I'm here for you. Dante and I were brought together through the power of ska music back in 2018.

when I randomly met his bandmates in the crowd for less than Jake, or maybe a real big fish, at Warp Tour. I started attending Dante's ska band shows in Minneapolis, which is where Dante and I first became aware of one another. I was initially just there as a fan of the music, and it wasn't until January of 2022, when Dante slid into my Instagram DMs, looking for ska music recommendations,

that our connection really began to block. Over the past two and a half years, Dante has become one of the most important people in my life, and my life is forever changed for the better because of him. I tear up whenever I talk about our love because it feels too profound for words. I love this. The past couple of years have been challenging for us both, but I've witnessed Dante grow beyond self-limiting beliefs and strive to become a version of himself whom he loves and feels proud of, even as setbacks occur. Hell yes! He continuously supports me on my own growth and self-discovery

and loves each iteration of me as fiercely as the one before. Dante is abundantly kind and loving, deeply insightful, fiercely true to himself and his values, talented beyond words, and the kind of person who brings people together and makes them feel less alone. He's not only the love of my life, truly one of the best people I know, and he deserves to be celebrated on his 30th birthday and every day! Now for the page 7 and the hot dog tie-ins. On a cold December night in 2022, following the page 7 release the butthole cut live show in Minneapolis, Dante and I stood crowded together in my tiny bathroom, both taking off our makeup and talking about the fact that Holden is my celebrity crush. I'm sorry for you. That happened to be the same conversation

when Dante and I said, I love you to one another for the first time. Our love for the LPN has always been a shared connection, but page seven will forever be etched into the story of our love because of that night. And as the Hot Dog Ambassador Queen, we thought you might like to know that his ska band, Space Monkey Mafia, will be playing the inaugural Dogtoberfest at Insight Brewing in Minneapolis on September 14.

If any listeners want to listen to some upbeat, politically charged ska music while watching a hot dog eating competition, this is your chance. Oh my God, you're going to have time. The episode comes out a few days before it. September 14th, Insight Brewing, Minneapolis, look up Dogtoberfest, and Space Monkey Mafia. Amazing. Amazing ska band name. Love it. And I love your love. sending so much love to you, Dante and Yael. Thank you so much for sending in and sharing your love story with us and having us be a part of your love story makes me want to cry and cry. I love you, Dante. I love you, Yale.

I love you. Everybody, thank you about the shoutouts. I do want to have a quick thank you to Shana, who I don't think you wrote it in for me to write a shout out about it. But I just want to say thank you, Shana, for explaining as a possible future astronaut, they explained to me what's going on with the astronauts trapped in outer space

and why it actually is not as brutally scary as I was expecting it to be. And I want to say thank you, Shana. And also, I want to send a huge shout out out to Andrea. Andrea, I wasn't sure if you wanted me to read your thank you, but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and your family and sending enormous amounts of love. We will always be here for you.

I love you guys so much. Thank you so much for sending in your shoutouts. And we really appreciate you sending in your shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. I didn't even say it up top. I guess I was too excited to read the shoutouts. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com. You can send in whatever you'd like,

whether it's TV wrecks or movie wrecks or if you want to tell us how we're a part of your love story I want to cry, I want to cry. I love you guys. I hope you're having a beautiful week. We're so happy to be back. And don't worry, we'll be back.

Next week, everybody. Love you. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.