Page 7 - Ep. 553: The Lady in the Van

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

This week Holden, Jackie, and MJ are all mourning in one way or another, be it the loss of Kris Kristofferson, Dame Margaret Natalie Smith, or witnessing the Tomatometer rating for Hook, Holden claims to be the subject of a deepfake making him appear to not care about Maggie Smith's death, Jackie declares war on Christian Girl Autumn, Marjory the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock being the absolute best pile of trash named Marjorie, Jackie unveils a cat face bikini top to begin her descent into Siwadom, Jackie's starting the Terrifier franchise for her 31 for 31 and MJ is aimin' for 15 for 31, The Detroit Bridgerton Ball is a flop, but at least the single stripper who was hired as entertainment was talented and Jackie gets BREAKING NEWS of "American Pickers" Star Frank Fritz's untimely death! MJ stands as boldly and strongly as Giorgio Tsoukalos's hair after being  outted as an Ancient Alien Head, and Lana Del Rey ties the knot with that swamp crawlin' gator man,and over in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Was Katy Perry Cursed by NUNS!??!, in The List -  Celebrity slipups on social media that revealed way more than they ever intended, Blindz and Shoutzzzzz!!!   Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Usually I throw the first song out to either MJ or Holden, but you know what? This one goes out to me, everybody, because Chris Christofferson passed last week, and I got real sad about it. And this song was really important to me when I was in a really bad time in my life. And so now you get to listen to those songs, again, from a different perspective, as you get older. And the song is Sunday morning coming down. Put it on on a Sunday if you really want to feel something. Well, I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt. And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert.

Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes and found my cleanest dirty shirt. And I shaved my face and comb my hair and stumbled down the stairs to meet the day. On the Sunday morning sidewalks. Start crying, everybody. I feel like I'm in North Korea right now and a dictator just side. Like, you can't force me to cry. Cry. I want you to cry.

Start crying. Everyone cry. It's a Sunday morning. We're coming down. And, man, I would pop that on in the morning when I would get to work at 4.45, still drunk from the night before. But I want y'all to know, I'm different now. I've grown. Thank you, Chris Christopherson, for you.

getting me through the dark times, but we can say goodbye to you now. Well, I'd like to be the people's hero and also mention that we are crestfallen and emotionally fucking ripped two shreds, MJ. Interesting that it's just me. Why? Dame Maggie Smith. Why? Because you cut off MJ before they could start to speak. Is that why? Dame Maggie Smith. Wendy Smith, Wendy. Everybody's talking about Harry Potter and everyone's talking about Downton. Abby and not enough people are talking about Hook. Sister Act. Sister Act. I thought you're going to say sister. Yeah. I'm with

Jackie. I'm with Jackie on that one, bro. Yes, also Sister X. It was a big year. But also you don't got to remember, MJ. The internet famed my forever fight with Rotten Tomatoes. Tomometer says Hook has 29%

in ice. What? Boo! Bo! Bo! Rotten tomatoes. Yeah, put them in the boo box. Wow. The boo box. It is my personal fight in my brain.

I do absolutely nothing about it, but I would really like to change the thermometer for the movie hook. It's not fair. Not fair. What is wrong with people? I know. Fantastic movie. Isn't it critically beloved? Apparently not.

I guess people are idiots. I'm sorry. We've got a bunch of idiots out there. It's absolutely beloved. but I, for one, remember Maggie Smith most from the British comedy drama film, The Lady in the Van. And that is the movie that,

the filmic experience that I would like to sound more superior to you all. The Rosie O'Donnell Lifetime movie that she means, but I think that was about riding on a bus with my sister. Writing in the sister, yeah. Is that like Lady in the Van? Have not thought about that movie in quite sometimes. You know, I think about it too often.

an MJ. I think it's part of my brain's problem. It's almost as if a group of people sat around in a room, and no, I have not watched this movie. I just thought it was hilariously, boringly titled. I love really bad, boring. Jim Broadbent is in it. How dare you? I'm sorry, Jim Broadbent, but I,

sometimes a title hits me is so boring sounding and terrible and bad that I have to laugh. And the lady in the van... Bring it to the thermometer, Holden, and the lady in the van is 89% on the tomometer. I mean, it's, yeah, it's about an elderly woman who lived in a lappated van. You're ages.

You know what? Holden's trying to be old. He's anxious. Don't try. You don't care about it. Wait a second. I'm sorry. No,

no, no, no. We're taking this back. I remember Holden on Jackin last Friday. You said publicly, I don't know why everyone's so upset about Dame Maggie Smith dying. You didn't say Dame before. I completely refute these allegations.

It is not true. Fundamentally is not true. Deep of my plums. I'm saying, right here right now, Jackie is a liar. Jackie is lying. She conjured this up. Play the tape.

It doesn't matter if a tape exists of it. It's over. Deep fake. It doesn't matter. Get rid of it. It's over. It's done. Absolutely.

Interesting. You're going to trump at me. You're going to fake news me right now? I gotta go. I gotta go take a break. I can't. I need, this is overwhelming. This is too much.

I'm done. Holden actually calls every woman dame. So he just covers his basis because he never wants to disrespect. You're a bunch of dumb. Yeah. Yeah, Jackie, you're a bunch of dumb dames, dude. You can call me Dame Jackie whenever you wish I'll take it and I'll say thank you. Dame Jackie has entered the room, but again, I will start announcing myself.

If you start calling me Dame Jackie, I will start announcing myself every time I enter this room. It's a Dame ass bitch. Yeah, exactly. I love that shit, dude. Absolutely. Dame ass bitch is here. Feel like. Dame bitch fall.

How about that? Is that anything? Oh. Oh, I love Dane bitch fall. Let's get. I mean, we're all. We're just following. the whole demure mindful bullshit.

So maybe we do need a damn bitchfall, certainly not a Christian girl autumn. I was going to bring it up as well, Jackie. Your rage seething through the computer screen. I know this was the first link I pulled for page seven this week because I was so just enraged. Caitlin Covington, the face of Christian girl Autumn, on her viral trips and facing critics.

and I hate Christian girl more than I've ever needed anything. Yeah, I'm saying I'm going out there, Christian girl. I dislike the aesthetic. I think that like everything in me that screams, that cries, brat looks at Christian girl autumn. And I'm like, I will never. I don't care how old. You all listen to me right now. I don't care how old I get.

I'm never going to be that. That's never going to be me. That'll never be me. That'll never be me. But this is the... Never be. Never, man, they'll say anything. I love it.

By the way, shout us to say anything. I will say, you know, it makes so much sense. I want to see the war happen. Maybe we could create the social media war, but have everybody meet in a real place. The Christian Autumn broads and the goth girls. Because this is really also a... This is a season for the...

Who's going to win? Who's going to win? You're trying to have a battle. We show up to fight tonight. Why would we do that? Why would we do that? A.Ks. Yeah.

Crucifixes. Yeah, I know. They're going to try. One side has the guns. And one side has the amulets. And I think that the guns would win. You don't know what we can do with our amulets, MJ. All right, we've got a lot of energy that we have harvested throughout the moon phases this year.

MJ. Yes, the moon phases we get it. I've got my moon water and sometimes I sit on it when I'm having a bad day because that's what the moon water is there for, all right? What is that your period blood? You know what? I understand. I understand the aesthetic. I understand the tall boots and the leggings and the big chunky sweaters and you get a latte.

And it's fine. Do your thing. And also maybe this is, I'm going to say it, confession. Maybe this is coming from someone. I know it's hard for me to bring up. But I've got wide calves. I've got wide calves. And it's difficult to find those boots, MJ.

Those sexy kids don't fit people like us. They don't fit people like us. And sometimes they go, oh, you can get the ones that have the expandable wide calves. But then everybody knows they're expandable wide calves. And they don't fit the same. And then you try to zip them up and you're like, wow, my big tree trunk legs can't even be contained by this boot. Yeah, I'm wearing two bass on my legs. You know what I mean?

Yeah, it looks like giant bass fish. Are you noodling with your legs? Yeah. It sounds like you're being a Tom Cruise, but we don't need to go down that. Yeah, and then you start fucking your boots. It's a nightmare. Sometimes. Okay, over the course of the last 10 years,

the autumn lady cycle has gone from, like, at first it was like pumpkin spice. And then there was a reaction. Don't get me wrong. And I do too. I'll eat a fucking pumpkin muffin. I've eaten one today. Where did you get the pumpkin muffin? Yeah, where did you get the fucking pumpkin muffin, damn?

Go with the muffin, D'J. I made it in my house. Oh, interesting. And they don't want to send us anything to us. And any, you know what? You want me to send you the muffins to L.A. because it does, you don't get fall over there. Yes, of course.

You don't have a New York fall. I saw one leaf on the ground in a little tier, like a single tear. And I was just like, I missed the days, you know? Holden, it's going to be 100 degrees next week. Are you kidding? Does it make me want to cry? Are you fucking joking with me right now, bro. It just got okay out.

Well, let's like, now we're talking about the weather for the next 30 minutes. I'm sorry, you know, I care about the weather. Keep talking about the weather. But MJ, I'm sorry. Let's talk about the cycles of these Christian bitches. Yeah, moonwater. Well, because then there was this big backlash to the anti-pumpkin spice. People were like, it's too much pumpkin spice.

And then people were like, you're all misogynists because it's ladies who like fall in pumpkin spice. And then everybody likes it. Okay, yes, we have to love the pumpkin spice. And now it's just been like kind of, I think, wedged into this like only if you're only like a, if you look like, if you look like, you could be cast in secret lives of Mormon wives, are you in this fall bitch lane? And fall can be for everybody. I'm wearing a vest from Lansend right now, okay?

They're still around. You look fantastic. Thank you. So I'm just saying, find your fall aesthetic, but if you are like me and Jackie and your calves don't fit in those sexy boots, don't beat yourself up about it.

You can get something else. You could figure out another way to embrace fall. And the Christians can't take it from us, but neither can the misogynists, okay? That's my point. I love this. Thank you, MJ. I felt very conflicted.

So this is Caitlin Covington is the beacon apparently of Christian Girl Autumn. She's like a big influencer person. I caught wind of her last year. She did like a video where she like, you know, kind of like a Mara Carey Christmas style. Like it's time, you know, like for autumnno pleasures. For my beige's, they wear beige all year. How do they know it's fall? These people wear base all year.

She went to UNC Chapel Hill where my parents went. I'm very North Carolina like triggers. by this a little bit. Because these are the people I ran screaming from. And she is like the ultimate ideal of these types of people because she's beautiful. She's got the family. She's like Miss Perfect, Miss Christian Girl Autumn. One point I will give to her is this quote right here.

Because we see the word Christian and we become worried and revile, right? But I will say. We do. We start panicking, sweating, backing out of the room. At least this is her quote about the Christian part. I just want to emphasize that I'm very accepting of everyone and have a very open mind. While I am a Christian, I prefer not to preach about it on social media. Bitch, you caught your shit Christian girl autumn, but whatever.

Instead, I choose to live by example. If someone is curious and ask me about my faith, I'm happy to share. I don't want to impose my beliefs on anyone or make it seem like I'm forcing them on others. Yeah. I sure. I appreciate that. But you know who I really want to be my beacon for fall? Marjorie the trash heap from Fragle Rock.

Yeah. I look at this Christian. and girl autumn. I'm like, bitch, you are just barking up the Marjorie the trash heap heap right now. That's really what you want. That is the autumn that I'm looking for. I want a motherfucker banana peel on my head and make it work. I love it. Work, Marjorie. Right. Marjorie the trash heap. This is my icon. I can't believe I haven't been calling Marjorie Taylor Grady Marjorie the Trash Heap, but that would actually be a disservice to Marjorie The trash heat.

She's a good trash heap. So, yes, you're right. No, this is the aesthetic we should all go for. Just a pile of whatever. Just a pile of let's get you. Oh, man, are we all swept up? Who knows? I don't know.

The wind's going to come through. I'm very vulnerably swept up. Just fucking toss me asunder, Autumn. I'm ready. Yeah, yeah. This is, I'm using this on socials. I'm doing an Instagram post with Marjorie about how this is my, whatever this is what ball I have.

Photoshop a little latte into it, you know. Yes, yes, yes. Please, you got to have, I mean, we must have coffee. Canva is being opened up right now as we speak. If I seem a little distance, it's because for the next 30 minutes, no, you're not. Hold in. This is for later.

I know it is great, though. Marjorie the trash heap lives within all of our souls. Yes. What a perfect, just, an absolute perfect representation of how I feel going into fall this year. Especially after Brat summer, yeah, I'm just like a, oh, I don't know. Just sweeping up the shreds. Get it over with. Just get November done with already.

And then maybe I'll turn into like, don't get rid of Thanksgiving. Why would you do that to me? At least by Thanksgiving, hopefully, things will be good. But we'll see. Oh, I don't know. I'm sorry. I want to get a good size tattoo of a turkey with a hat. on.

And I, um, this is, I'm just talking about Thanksgiving and I need to get it before the election and it's not even on Jackie's radar. Because all she's thinking about is Thanksgiving, I don't give a shit. I appreciate that. No. I appreciate that. Reclaim November. Tell me that's going to be a full, a full back piece.

You know, I want some big. Oh, yeah, big back piece. You're going too small lately. I want a giant like, yeah, like the Phoenix. You need to do a parody of Bit of Bidaflex back tattoo. Turkey Tom. Yeah. It should be like a color in page from a first grade class, you know, that they do every Thanksgiving.

And then we'll go and we'll go to the beach and we'll take a sad picture of you with sporting the back tattoo. It'll be the best thing that we ever did. Absolutely. It's definitely for the bit. Oh my God, so worth it for the bit. Are you kidding? This is a bit you have to follow through on it. And you can be, you can be Ben Affleck and Jeff can be J-Lo for Halloween for the rest of time.

Oh, man. I guess I could, but I am pulling out something I did not show to. MJ and Holden before we started the show. Wow. And that is my, technically they're cats. Yeah. But it is, I did get a cat's bikini top. Yes.

So that I can start my full transformation into Jojo Siwa. Wow. Wow. They looked great. I wanted to show you. And again, they are not teddy bears. No. They are cats.

But I feel like it kind of works. It totally because of cats. In the scheme. Yeah. Sure. So I feel like in the scheme of us, it definitely, and then I'm going to put a bunch of cats around my pussy, and then I'm just going to write.

I just said maybe that's why she didn't do it in the place. Sorry, Jackie, to interrupt. I just was consumed by, I remember that we were going to all three be different versions of Jojo, and I so wish that you guys could fly into New York and come to the Heidi Klum Halloween party, and we could be the three different versions of Jojo's Siwa. Ah, the Jojo's.

We have to call Jojo's Siwa. Because that's a problem is that I'm only doing Jojo's Siwa with you guys, because I have a full other costume for Jeff and I's Halloween experience together. Already? Well, I'm building it. Okay. But you have your plan. If you build it, babe.

They will come. Yeah, it's also, uh, it is, we are recording this on October 1st, by the way, ladies and gentlemen, Jackie, uh, how is your, uh, are you doing 31 for 31 again? The world needs to know. We certainly are and definitely check me out on side stories this week where I'm going to be going in depth on my 31 for 31 rubric that I want to talk about because it really helps if you're like, how do I get 31 movies together? I found this one online and I've kind of changed it to make it work for me and things like, you know, it's like you got to have a vampire movie.

You got to have a horror movie starring children. You have to have a, you know, a female directed horror. You have to have a, and then like going through it. So it is 31 options. And so it just gives you something to jump off from to like make sure you're, you've got like everything in there. One thing I do usually like to include every year we do a series. Last year we did leprechaun and, man, you forget how many leprechaun movies there are until you start watching all the leprechaun movies. And don't get me wrong, I love leprechaun. But this year, you know, I dare say it is only becoming a trilogy, but I'm still referring to it as a series. I've never watched the terrifier movies

because I'm not that big into torture porn but everyone has told me that they think I will like them so we are going to watch because the third terrifier is coming out this season so we're gonna watch the terrifier movies All right, love that. Are you guys doing any, are you guys gonna try and add some spooky into your lives?

Yeah, of course. Yeah, we did last year. We can't do 31 for 31 because I fall asleep at 40 minutes into anything we watch. but I think we'll probably be able to do maybe 15 for 31. Whoa. Yeah, you're going to do 40 of five, which is 40 minutes of five different movies. Yes, all the first 40 minutes.

Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you. See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub, but nothing happened? because you are too lazy to plug it in first. Then the Brighter Side podcast is for you. Oh yeah!

Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb. Stinky, no good, do-do factory. Caca-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chain to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off, right. every Friday with the brighter side on the last podcast network.

You beautiful babies. No, we, I really have been enjoying it too. Like I was just listening to you talk about it, Jackie. I'm like every year, I feel like there's so many, so many like big main movies that I still feel like I'm trying to catch up on in my life. Usually we just do the big boys every year. But this year, maybe we can get into some of the more weird, obscure ones that you pioneer.

You can hit me up anytime. Yeah. I will let you know if you just say like, I'm in the mood for something like this and I will hit you. It is my favorite thing to do. I love talking about horror movies. Yeah, because I like horror movies, but even like, even just hearing you say the words torture port, I was like, what was I watching that really upset me recently? And it was the fucking Menendez Brothers show that Ryan Murphy and the scene, the like, first episode just is so gruesome. And I was like, I want the like Ryan Murphy narrative drama part.

but I don't want the gruesome murder scene part. And I know that... Terrifier I know is definitely not for you then. Not for me. Okay, good. If I can't handle Ryan Murphy Menendez brothers, I can't handle terrifier. Not to say that it's not...

I haven't watched it yet, but not to say that it's not yucky. I'm sure it is. Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm very... I am excited. I'm excited for spooky season. I need to figure out my costume and my kids' costumes.

Our goose has their costume. on. We've decorated the house. So we're like, we're, the kids think we need to, we're getting there. The kids are like, we need more decorations. Freddy's like, I want the entire house to look like a haunted house. And I'm like, okay, if you insist. So we're going big. I saw your huge spider. You did a great job with your huge spider, though. Yeah, we got a big spider web with a mama spider and a baby spider. We're going to probably go to Target and just get a lot of like, you know, the Target Halloween section is very good. And I plan on wasting a lot. lot of money at that section this week with my children. That's going to be great.

I love that. Honestly, I will say your place is much more decorated than the Bridgerton Ball was held in Detroit. Let's talk about the Bridgetton Ball. We must talk about the Bridgeton Ball experience that happened in Detroit. It's been called a scam and complete chaos. Yeah. Okay. So I want to know, first of all, if you are a listener and you went to this, please email us. second of all, I was trying to figure out, like, in this story and the Twitter thread, basically there was a Twitter thread that went viral of somebody who had bought tickets and didn't end up going because they were sick, couldn't get a refund, was so pissed about it. Then they made this, like, viral thread about it.

And they were like, they found out the event planners and stuff. But I guess my question is, I know that you like people go to events and stuff. But this event seems like, like, I don't, I guess I don't trust. I'm not saying, I'm not blaming the people who got scam, but it's like, go to this hotel. We're a private event throwing a Bridgeton ball. And I guess I'm just wondering how it was advertised versus what, like, what they ordered versus what they got kind of situation. I would say definitely just remember to look into reviews and to, and, you know, especially be cautious before, like if the event planners had never created other events before. Because, like, for instance, Natalie and I from Akatar, soon with Crescent City, we've been working with Fantastique collection who has this whole, like, fantasy event planning service.

And they put on amazing productions. Right. So, like, and now that I've been to some very successful productions of these and I see what it's supposed to be, I look at these pictures. And I can't even believe that some people, like, walking into this because, like, what like unshore de mord like builds out a whole world for you like everyone's in the world down to like the people working the events and it's so it's so fun and immersive but it seems like this is rife for scheming or scamming because you could just be like we're an event throwing company we throw an event at this hotel but there's no information about what you're going to get right right and so it's

like I would feel that before I invested my money into something like this that I would hopefully find out someone who has been to one of them before. Or I would wait until the next year. Just throwing that out there for you to protect yourself. Make sure the event company has done other successful. Because then you still might get screwed. But like you, but most likely hopefully you won't. But I don't even for a good one of these $300 is so crazy much money that that's the part

where I'm like, how would you possibly decide to throw down $300? But then it makes dreams come true. Like, I watch people's dreams coming true. And I am also a person who is, for better or for worse, thinks that if it costs money, it must be better. Right. And so I'm like, oh, if it costs $300 and it's at like this nice hotel, surely, I am not a person who researches stuff like this or looks into it and I can easily be bamboo.

I'm talking to you, MJ. That's why I'm looking at you saying, make sure there are reviews. Because I could totally understand, I mean, yeah, $300 is a lot. And make sure they're not AI generated reviews. Right, right. You've got to make sure all that shit now, too.

Because I really could imagine just being like, oh, like it's ranged from $150 to $1,000. It's almost like that just gives it credibility to me. And I know that I should be more discerning than that. But like, as a non-discerning person, I could very much imagine being like, oh, yeah, sure. But then, yeah, there's a screenshot of like the event, like, um,

company that through this and it's like, you know, they have like no followers. Right. So it's like, it is something where it's like if you look into it a little bit, the facade falls apart. And $300, I'd be hesitant to spend on like somebody who I'm like, like a musician I love. You know what I mean? I guess the idea is like, oh, there's food involved and stuff like that, which of course the food is like fire fest level awful. Oh, yeah. Just not, not good. But that's the thing. It's also, you have to remember it's the people you meet. I remember as well that oftentimes, especially in like the world of cosplay and people that love these like niche things, they feel lonely. And then you get to go

to these places where they make a bunch of friends. It's a bunch of people and no one's judging them for how they look. And I actually like, I'm sorry. I don't mean to go against you guys so hard. It's just like I've seen the magic of what it could be. And I know why people go to these. Oh, of course. Yeah. And it's like a con. I understand. and the appeal of it. Yeah. I totally get spending that kind of money on the thing you were a part of.

For sure, Jackie. Like, that looked incredible and magical and everything you said about it was... Oh, God. And there was food involved. Full, like multiple horse, like sit down, wheels. And, like, you were completely

taken care of the entire time. It's like medieval times, but for a weekend. Yes, honestly, except with, like, big hooking men with bat wings and everybody's got faders on. That sounds great. I don't even like that. era of cosplay, but it sounds, what you did sound so fun. And I can imagine being a,

it's, right. The Bridgerton thing makes total sense to me. But yeah, it's just astonishing how easy, just like it's being compared to the Willy Wonka experience. And it just striking to me how, how easy it would be for somebody to be like, yeah, we booked a room. We booked a conference room at this hotel. And then there's just, there's no decorations. Almost not. And the direct decorations that are there are like so clearly like from a dollar store. This This picture with the two chairs and the like paper rope giant paper roses and stuff. I mean, this is from a party city.

And it's so, and even like the way they did the flowers, they just threw a bunch of fucking flowers on the ground. It looks terrible. It looks so bad. And the only entertainment was one lone stripper the entire time. And then the stripper came out and was, the poll, I guess it was, I guess the article said stripper.

She's a poll dancer. The pole dancer then came out. out and said, like, they asked her to perform hours beforehand. Yeah, Day of. They specifically, the day of, specifically asked for pole dancing. And she said she performed to two songs that were instrumental and that were beautiful. And then the song moves like Jagger played. I love that that that's the song that quote was very uncomfortable, end quote, according to her.

I love that. That's what she was like, whoa. Whoa, I will not moves like Jagger. I fucking hate that song, so I'm with you on that way, girl, for sure. But the fact that it, yeah, these just weird horny bros, because like, if you looked at the other events they put on, it looked like way brolier and like just kind of like party, kind of, you know, just sort of get shit face party events is what it looks like. And then they're trying to like. But even then then have a bunch of drinks. Sure.

Yeah, right. There's, I feel like people will give a lot of grace if they, you know, if they. are fed and there is alcohol available to people. Like I do feel like people will give a lot more. This is so, so bad. And that video is so sad of the pole dancer dancing. And somebody just being like, I don't think this is from Bridger. I don't remember this one of the show.

I feel like we've all been in the experience of like getting as performers, like getting booked for an event and then getting to the event and being like, why am I booked here? Yeah. And I feel like this dancer almost certainly was like, is there a pool. dancing in Brinterton. Jackie, I'm seeing from your facial expressions, you might have breaking news. What's going on? I don't think it's breaking news that either one of you care about.

And as I'm saying, I was like, Jackie, why did you all of a sudden go down a weird brain time? Frank Fritz, the co-host of American Pickers just died. He was only 60. That's not, that's insanely not breaking news. I've watched so much American Pickers. You're going to tell me, you have not watched a marathon of American Pickers in your life.

I'm just going to say this to our viewers because they didn't see her face. Her face turned into large marge at that certain point of... He was 60 years old. Her eyes popped out of her head. Her mouth went like giant huge. I'm just surprised. 60 is too young. 60 is too young.

But I don't watch American Pickers. That is too young. But he is just, it's a very niche death. Okay? I'm just going to say it. You need out there that are listening to me right now. Please write in page 7 podcast at gmail.com. If American Pickers has affected you in some way, I want to know.

about it. And no, I have not watched a marathon. I haven't been in a hotel room with you while it was on before. So no, I have not watched a marathon of American. Wait, M.J, you don't even know American Pickers. I don't. Oh my God, MJ, you're going to love American Pickers. It is. Are they antiques? Yes. They essentially find like off the road, like, find weird, huge places and then go through their stuff and ask the people. So it's not like people's like regular thing that they're ready to. And oh, maybe it's. It's bad. You could let me know me. Fuck everybody over. You could let me know. I just really like Frank. And they really liked American Pickers because then they would like give people like a good amount of money for the stuff that they had that was just laying around underneath a bunch of shit in their house. And they would be able to like.

So it was like on the road. Ah! When they bring it in and they matchmaker matchmaker antiques. Yep. Antique Road Show. No, that's on the road. Thank you. It's Antique Rojo.

Okay. But it is on the road. But you know what I mean? Yeah. No, I think I'm picking up with your button down. And they move. Well, here it said this just said, Frank Fritz doesn't think women should have rights. I can't believe Jeffers.

When they got rid of Roe v. Wade, he did a dance, it says. He danced. Never said that. I think Frank Fritz was a good man. I think he is. Well, R.I.P. Frank Fritz. I'm sorry that this happened to you.

And your show sounds. Nice. I will say, though, MJ, I think that you would really enjoy American Pickers. And it is one of those shows that is usually thrown up on the history channel and you can watch it for 17 hours in a row, if you would wish. And that is the kind of shit I love. Yeah. When I'm not watching ancient aliens on the history channel, I will watch American Pickers because the history channel has a lot of aliens. Oh, it certainly does. And man, Agent Aliens is the silliest show. And I love that you love Agent Aliens. We ever talked about this before? My sister-in-law's big ancient aliens person, and so I've given it a try.

I wouldn't say it's my favorite show, but it is, I like, I like an ancient alien. I like an ancient, I like people who are like, I'm just asking questions about things that are demonstrably evidence-based. So I really enjoy ancient aliens. Interesting. It sounds like you don't believe enough, MJ. Now, we can't not talk about the fact that Lana Del Rey got by you married this week. We must discuss the fact.

She married the Gator Man. She married the Gator Man. We don't know if the Gator Man is a bad. Talk about, I mean, listen, American Pickers is the least of our problems. If you're going to cancel Jackie for liking American Pickers, tell us what you know about Jeremy Dufrin, who is the Gator Man, who we talked about a couple weeks ago. You say I'm championing him.

I'm not championing this person. I want to find out more information. No, no one's championing him. But we are, we got a lot of comments. and emails about Lana Del Rey. And the consensus seems to be that she's not doing like working class cosplay. Like she just actually really does like this type. Like she really just was hanging out at that Waffle House.

And she really just worked and just like, like it's an interesting character. Interesting character and likes accessing these different, you know, communities of American life. And I think that that's lovely. And I really want to root for the Gator Man. But of course, when we talked about this last time, We were wondering, could this Florida Gator Man have good politics? And that's the question.

Because all, you know, those descriptors point to the large, grand possibility that that is a big horse's name. But we don't want to assume, do we? We don't want to. No, that would make us, would that not make an ass of us potentially? Would that not do that? But here's the thing. The internet has found a, has found a meme that. is anti-trans that is disgusting.

Very. Do not look for it. Do not look for it. That is said to have been posted in 2021 by Jeremy, right? Does that his name Jeremy Degreen? We know, but you know what, we know you're going to look for it. And it's annoying. So don't look for it. Don't look for it. It's triggering and upsetting. It's like he posted in 2021 on his allegedly, according to Reddit. And this has been reposted in other Reddit forums and on Twitter. But this is, we need, there's not enough sources. There is no source for who this person was, how they were, how they had access to this person's Facebook profile, whether it's real or not. And we all know that screenshots can be very, very easily

faked nowadays. So it is a screenshot from 2021 from Jeremy Dufrean of a very anti-trans, violently anti-trans meme. And so there, but as Jackie has pointed out that we were talking about this before we started recording, there is no reporting on this. And so is this one of those situations where Reddit, is right and ahead of the reporting or, or oftentimes, read it, not trustworthy. So, and again, there's just no source. Like, we don't know it's who this person is. Don't know if it's this. Jeremy Defend.

There's just like a lot that could be going on here. Could be completely faked. Could be a different person. It's just so easy for us to assume. Right. It really, like, it is. And I just do wonder, oh, we're not finding what we thought we were going to find. you know, like, it is easy to make this.

It's just the fact that it is not being reported on. That's right. In any, like, in any, like, articles. And I also want to say, of course, none of the three of us are trying to, like, be apologists. No. No, no, no, no, no. If this is true.

None of us care enough about. I want to be happy for them. Yeah. I'd like to be happy for them. And I'm hoping that he is a good person. That's what I'm saying. None of us care enough about Lana Delray to be like, I, it's to bend over backwards to justify this person being a bigot if they are.

I just want to believe in the good people. Yeah, exactly. And I just don't know. And I just don't want, I literally don't want to assume that just because he's a Florida Gator Man that he's not. Louisiana, how dare you south is. Because I would like to believe if that thing is not. Thank you.

Thank you. Time will tell if that is legit stuff or not. And so we'll hold off. But if not in a reality where that's not real, all other signs point to this guy being a decent guy like his ex came out and was like he deserves this. he's a great guy. He's got kids. He seems like a good dad.

Well, now there is talk that she was upset because she didn't know they were going to get married so fast. Apparently, Lana Del Rey moved all of her crystals out of the home. So, you know, there's some rumblings, but I think that's more just coming from an ex, I think, more than anything. And this is a private person, right? So it makes sense to me that there's not, like, extensive reporting on his Facebook posts from 2021. Um, nor does there need to be per se, right? Except that because Lana Del Rey is not a private person, people want to know how to feel about this. And it is like a, it's a, it's just, um, it's tough. Like I, it's part, you know, yeah, it's tough. I, I, I, I don't want to demand that this person's

entire political history need be presented to the public because he married not a lot of Del Rey on the one hand. On the other hand, if you look at Laudelry message boards, which are abundant, people are like, I need to know whether, like, I'm a lot of Del Rey fan, and I'm trans, and I need to know whether this is like happening or not, because this really impacts my relationship with her music. So completely. It makes sense that people care that even though this guy is just like, I'm just a Louisiana gator man, you know. It's tough. And not a public figure. I know about the town. I will say the Bayou Wedding. did look beautiful. And apparently she had like thrifted her dress and like something that

people really like about Lana Del Rey is that she lives a very modest lifestyle and that it is something that apparently others her in the world of celebrities. So it is something that she more craves a more normal private life, which, you know, I think as we can watch with Chapel is just not what you get when you're in the business, unfortunately. But what you do get is, you do get. But what you do get is the pedestal to be able to crawl your ugly ass up on top of and go hark. I see a Pesto in the distance. We're talking about Pesto. And yes, we're talking about Pesto, the penguin. Now, I need to bring it up on the big show because I could just hear more lies and allegations coming from one Jackie Zabrese. I'm noticing a pattern here. She's going to say, oh, he was smirching Pesto's name on Jack.

He said, quote, I don't get it. It's just a penguin. These are words that I refuse to acknowledge that I said. I don't even know if you can find proof of it. Oh, no, it looks like I accidentally. I'm so sorry, Jacket with the Holdies this last Friday has been deleted, unfortunately. Oh, interesting. I'm so sorry.

It's a big round penguin, holden. It's not just any penguin. He's bigger than the other. By the way, I'm noticing an opinion here. So now we're just going to glorify, like, and not that we shouldn't, but like, just we're just gonga for fat animals. That's the new thing now. The mudang is smaller than the other animals and this one's bigger than the other animals.

Get it straight. We like them tiny. We're exceptionally large. Thank you, MJ. Thank you, can I do that? Can you just roll me out into the ice and everyone just goes, look at him. He's eating another burger.

No, you need to get much bigger or you need to get much smaller. But I also want you to like shrink like in honey I shrunk the kids. I don't want you to lose weight. I just want you to become very, very little. Right. We just use some kind of a laser or something like that. Absolutely.

Guys, I'm just putting out a call for a laser. Like, if you've got some sort of, like, scientific person in your home that maybe wants to just, like, experiment on somebody. Apparently, Holden McNeely is up for the task. Or if you just know Rick Moranis, that would be awesome.

I just want to talk to the guy. I love him. We just recorded a little shop of horrors episode for Whizbrough. and I just love that. I love. I was just crying to suddenly see more yesterday randomly in my car.

Because it came on and it gives me the feels and it was the Rick Moranus version. Yes. It is a beautiful and perfect movie. But I guess you went into both of them. We don't need to talk about Little Shop Fars right now, but I would like to listen to that episode. Check out Wizard and the Bruiser.

Well, I think the fat penguin is great. And I love everyone loving it. Eating it up. Oh, here's your internet suit. Eat it up. kids while the world's on fire. I think it's a wonderful thing. I feel like you don't.

I'm having a mental breakdown. Why are you so angry about Pesto? It's sad for you. I think it's sad for you and you should soften a little bit more. I'm becoming old. I feel like I became a boomer in the last month and now I'm just a boomer. We need to stop with this. All right.

I've been saying this in my own home. We gotta stop telling ourselves we're too old to X. We have to enjoy. We are gotta stop saying this shit about ourselves because we're not. You're never too old. I mean, yeah, maybe sometimes you're too old to like get healies and be able to heal about the town. But yeah, there's, I've, you know, we just don't want to fall. There are some things that are nice that come with being older, like not being, you know, a 26 year old trying to figure out how to talk to the public is, like I would have done it differently.

Sure. I was 26. And I realized that it's good to be 38 sometimes. I've learned a lot. And I just want to talk about Zach Affleck not being Ben Affleck's cousin real quick. Can we talk about that? Oh my God. Of course we can talk about that.

I think are we going to save the chapel talk for the leftovers. We're scared of your opinions on our opinions. That's what we're currently right now. We have bad opinions about it. But everyone's so, let's just get that out of the way that we can talk about Zachaflo. Everybody's so weird about Chapel. There's so many intense things going on around Chapel. So many perspectives.

So many perspectives. So everybody's got something to say about like honestly, it kind of makes me not want to talk about. You know what? $5 paywall for that. Okay? If we even talk about it. If we even talk about it. It's tough because, yeah, there's, it's like, it's something that I, uh, there's lots of

different opinions and I don't, there's really no way to please everyone on it and you don't need to. So there is that. Chapel is going through it. But Zach Affleck, not Ben Affleck's cousin. How can you be married to someone like this? How can you be married to someone? This is a fucking,

filthy, Real Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, by the way. Yeah, Seekalikes of Mormon wives. This guy claim he's Ben Affleck's cousin, and he's just not. And he's such a liar. Some guy named Affleck. He's just an abusive husband named Affleck.

Yes. Besides the fact that he is a liar, he's also a shit husband. And he's just a bad person and she shouldn't be with him. and it is absolutely insane that like, so he must have. We can assume, right? At least we talked about this over and who's the bitch.

We could assume that he lied to her. No, she doesn't have an ear-dust and lying about it. And then lying to the public about it. No. Right. I mean, she's, he is the one with all of the power and all of the status in the relationship, even though she's the breadwinner and she's more famous, but he has, he comes from a rich family. And he moves her out of this city.

And he makes her leave him. Isoling her. This is like honestly, textbook abuser. Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Give me more. Give me more. You're not Bit Afflex cousin, bro. You're a liar.

Yes. I want her to divorce so him so publicly. Divorce now, bro. I want it, I want a new season of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and I want it to open with the divorce party that she throws herself, just like the other lady from the show through herself a divorce party. And all of these Mormon wives are basically not wives anymore because the only way you be a happy Mormon woman is to not be married or be married to a man who isn't insane, as like,

I think two of them are. And we barely know about those ones because they don't make the good television. They were like, go have fun. Yeah, but Zach Affleck, who is the villain of the entire show for sure, and claims to have Ben Affleck's cousin. Everyone is like, this doesn't make any sense. Genealogically, this definitely isn't true. And he's just a piece of shit. Well, you know what? We're getting negative here. We're talking enough politics and Mormons that I got a dumb, fun celebrity conspiracy for us today. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it?

Was Katie Perry cursed by nuns? Nuns? Oh, because she tried to steal the church, right? Yes, queen. Yes. This one comes in from Angela who writes, Hi, Holden Jackie Dimjab and a huge fan of the show since 2016. I love hearing you three gab every week.

Holden sexiest man alive. But right now. That's not what they said. I can guarantee that. Okay, but the gap part. The other part. Okay. The gap part.

is there. But yeah, the sex thing. I don't want you be smirching someone that dared right in. But right now, Holden, here's a hot conspiracy for you. Holden Niders, oh, that is actually in there. Okay, that is in there.

Was Katie Perry cursed by nuns? We all know Katie Perry has been having a rough year. More like rough five years and is trying to regain the level of pop power she had in the mid-2010s when she was at the height of her career when she performed at the 2015 Super Bowl. But what was the cause of her drastic downfall?

And why is she failing so miserably at regaining back, at regaining, getting back into the limelight. Could she have been cursed by angry nuns? Here's the deal. I love this. From 2015 to 2019,

Katie Perry was embroiled in a legal battle against a group of elderly nuns after a failed attempt to buy a former convent in Los Feliz and turn it into a mansion for herself. When the nuns... And by the way, this is all cited. She beautifully linked all of this stuff like all throughout the...

Oh my God, thank you. That's a great way to live in a haunted house, by the way. You're going to buy a convent and turn it into a home. Do you want hundreds of tortured souls living with you? I mean, it's kind of fun. Yeah. She wanted to turn the convent to a mansion. When the nuns didn't want to sell it to her,

the case went to court and dragged on for an excruciatingly long time, resulting in a pretty wild twist. In March of 2018, one of the nuns, Sister Catherine Rose Holtzman literally dropped dead in the middle of the courtroom. after pleading with Katie Perry to stop pursuing the sale. Following this, one of the other nuns, Sister Reader Callan said that

Katie Perry had, quote, blood on her hands. And they quote, Katie Perry represents everything we don't believe in. It would be a sin to sell it to her. In the end, she didn't win the house. Things have pretty much been downhill for Katie from there.

She's cursed, dude. Here's the evidence of the curse and effect. Ever since 2018, things have been bad for Katie Perry. Her 2018 album was her first. of her current flop era. It didn't do as well as her previous few albums and is the first sign of the curse in action. Then in 2019, there was her racist shoes,

which I didn't even know about. Do you guys remember this? No, I thought this shoes smelled bad. I didn't know they were racist. Yeah, they were just smelly shoes. No, there's racist shoes. Check out this article. It's coming back to me.

It's coming back to me. Oh, it's all coming back to me. It's all coming back to me now. Then her 2020 album's smile was a big, big old flop. We're selling album until her current on 143. But now things have gotten way worse for her in 2024. This year alone, there's been Women's World Song and Video Flopping, getting publicly rejected by the Harris campaign,

getting sued by Spain for ruining the dunes. We did the Dune Ruiner. And Root Duneers Rise Up. And now her failed album rollout of 1443, which is getting atrocious reviews. The list is inless. and I don't think it's going to stop anytime soon. Why the sudden ramp up of even worse Bizarro Karma in 2024?

Perhaps because she tried to illegally buy the home of another octogenarian, 84-year-old Carl Westcott, the founder of 1-800 flowers, and now she's getting sued again by him. Whoa. Maybe this act has fed the curse. Let's hope the 80-something-year-old she's battling doesn't die in court this time. Why, God? Honestly, I'm a little worried for Katie Perry.

She seems like truly cursed in a major way. Who knows what's going to happen next? So what do you guys think? You gotta believe. Also, by the way, and I like, they added this side note. If you want to like dig deeper into this, YouTuber Nats can fly N-A-S-can-S-can-fly. Can-Fly did a pretty comprehensive 11-minute video essay on this if you prefer to watch a video explanation. You know, I love the video essay.

Yes. If you want a companion piece to this conspiracy theory, check out Nats can fly on YouTube. Man, what a good one. This is such a good one. Katie Perry. buy a house that's for sale, bitch. It's an active convent. There's nuns currently using it.

They take a vow of poverty, girl. Leave them alone. Let them keep building. Let them get some movers. Let them figure it out. What are they going to do if you kick them out? I can't believe that. I'm sorry.

She deserves to be cursed. She got binned. Yeah. I didn't realize it was an active convent. If it's an abandoned convent and you want to live in it and you want to live with those souls. then do it, fine. But you're going to try to take a convent out from under.

Kick the nuns out on the ass. Living nuns. Yeah, totally. Unbelievable. I want a movie about this. This is so good. This is so good. I want like a Capote style, you know, movie where it's like, yeah, you flew too close

to the sun and it fucking destroyed everything, man. Burned you. I mean, and between this and maybe we'll talk about the leftovers, this Sabrina Carpenter filming the music video in the church. And then now that Monsignor, who gave her permission to film in the church is under subpoena. Connection to the Eric Adams indictment. It's all very fun.

The Catholics are taken down. I mean, Sabrina Carpenter's doing fine because she didn't try to steal home from nuns. And it sounds like Katie Perry did. And I believe, I've never believed anything more in my life. She got bit by the snake. Wow, what a good one. Yeah, right. And I believe like a motherfucker.

Oh, I believe. You don't go fucking with that shit like that and put them all. man, blood is on your hands in the court, dropping 10 in the courtroom. It's so dramatic. It's amazing. And yeah, why are you going to go try to brute force another house purchase? I grew up in a really Catholic town and nuns were everywhere. Like nuns were like the parrars and the schools.

Like if you were a kid who needed like a helper, they were nuns. Nuns were helping with the after school program. There were just nuns everywhere. And they're great. Okay. And yes, some of them did. If you went to Catholic school, you might not feel the same way. My mom has a lot of stories about the nuns that were her teachers.

But I just feel like the idea of trying to steal a convent from nuns is cartoonishly evil. A nun dropping dead in court is biblical. And then a nun pointing at you in the scary, because I'm not scared of nuns, but I do think the habits are a little scary. And I feel like a nun in a habit pointing at you and being like, you have blood on your house. An old nun, an old nun yelling that you up. I never want that to have that experience ever in my life.

I could never recover from that. Even like I showed sound of music to my kids recently and I was worried that they would be a little scared of the nuns and they were just fascinated by them. They were like, why are all those ladies wearing those outfits? And I'm like, they're servants of God, you know. It's hard to explain. It's hard to explain.

They're God soldiers. It's weird. They're married to God and then it's like a whole, right? They just feel kind of otherworldly. Like it was funny that there was. They're nuts everywhere. They're ethereal. Yeah.

They feel like they do come, they feel like they're on a different realm than us, even though they walk amongst us. I believe it. Oh, I also believe it. They walk amongst us indeed. And I believe it as well. That is a trifecta for belief on the conspiracy theory today. Thank you yet again.

I believe that was, oh, I already got closed out, Angela. Thank you again, Angela. That was amazing. Thank you, Angela. That was a good one. It was a great one. It's time for the list, though. Oh, who's on the list?

Check, hey, got to have that list. Celebrity slip-ups on social media that revealed way more than they ever intended. In 2019, Justin Bieber posted an Instagram story calling out the Daily Telegraph for misspelling his name and headline, writing, How are you going to spell my name wrong after all these years? Ha-ha. However, fans quickly noticed his search history was also included in the photo, which showed pages on Selena Gomez's Coachella performance. Biber, who was married to Haley Bieber, previously Baldwin, had notably dated Gomez when they were both young stars. Got it in cognito mode, bro. Come on. In cognito mode. Oh, that's sad. That's like when Ted Cruz faved the porno tweet.

There's a lot of this in this list. Speaking of Haley, she once accidentally followed a Selena Gomez fan page. She quickly unfollowed with the account posting a screenshot of Baldwin messages. her and saying, hey, followed you by accident. So sorry. Fans thought she was trying to stay up to date on Selena's activities since she used to date Justin. Yeah, we all get nosy. Sometimes that shit just happened. I know.

It just happens. Very relatable. Yeah, we all accidentally follow an ex on Instagram. Both of these last two stories. I'm the nosiest. So I'm whatever. It is what it is. This, I can't imagine how much my chest would hurt.

While attending a Taylor Swift concert with his wife, Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban posted a TikTok of the two dancing. thanking Taylor and her team for the show. In the background, fans quickly spotted Bo Burnham and Phoe Bridgers canoodling and kissing. The two were rumored to be dating, but there had been no confirmation. And it's that, like, can you imagine how bad they must have felt for just, like, completely calling somebody out and not meaning to? Oh, yeah.

That's, this is like young, I mean, Keith Herbert is not a young person, but young people and TikTok, they just open their phones and do stuff and then post it. And as somebody who used a lot of Twitter for the last decade, I have at least gotten into the habit. Again, see, not 26 anymore. Like I get into the habit of being like, I'm going to read this two or three times. I'm going to make sure. Or, you know, when I'm posting on Instagram, I'm looking at the picture. Is there anything in the background of this picture?

I don't want to post. But the culture of posting, no one's proofreading. No one's like double checking. And I feel like you just, people must be making mistakes like this all the time, right? Yes. And also, when it comes down to tagging someone, and if you think about a lot of celebrities have either private accounts or just things that are not as public, so they can do their own social media. Now, this happened, now, Carly Clause inadvertently revealed Princess Beatrice's secret private Instagram when she tagged it in the photo featuring B. A royal correspondent appeared to confirm the account was Beatrice's saying the princesses have long had private accounts.

Harry has one too. No protocol to say it's not allowed. But also Julianne Moore did the same thing to Andrew Scott. sexy priest. We were just talking about nuns, but think about that sexy priest. Julianne Moore tagged a photo of Andrew Scott at the Golden Globes earlier this year, tagging at whatever the username is, and it happened to be his private account, and now everybody knows his private account, so I'm assuming, Holden, you know how annoying it is to try and have to get rid of an account or have to pretend like it doesn't exist anymore. So yesterday, I had to confirm it was me. My account got suspended because I think they're like, it's duplicate account. You know what I mean? Or maybe the dickhead who hacked me, reported me as a duplicate account.

So I had to confirm. I was like about to be like, are you kidding? But luckily it got reinstated pretty quickly after I like filmed my head moving left and right on a weird. It's so weird. But yeah, I'm like, oh, cool. So be.

Guy, meta, figure this out because right now the power is in the hands of the hacker when this happens. And I'm not really sure why you would make this system like this, where it seems like they have all the control in a situation where someone gets hacked. How do you not have some? Can you guys figure this out how like you would have measures in place for when someone gets their shit hacked out? because, yeah, right now I'm the person who has to do everything to prove myself, and they don't have to do shit. And everyone keeps fucking reporting them, and no one's shutting it down. It's like, I'm just, I'm bewildered.

By the way, holding Nader's Ho on Twitch with two O's, I need to start pumping it. I have 400 followers as of now. I had 25,000. So I would love to see how close I can get back there. You can get back to that number. It's going to be a long road. So I need to start promoting my Instagram again. and I am going to start be posting more often on it.

Hold Nader's Ho with two O's on Instagram. Back to you guys. What the fuck? Man, I'd be very, very upset, Holden. It's such an annoying. Yeah, I'm just trying to, like, block it out because it's like I just have too much shit going on. And to get upset about this would ruin my life.

Because it's, like, so frustrated. It's just like, if I think too hard about it, if I really give up to how frustrating the situation is, It would just, yeah, and I'm just like, make you implode. I don't have mental space anymore. Like, luckily, this did happen when I was like, like, five, ten years ago. Or I think I'd literally just be, you would, it would just be like, well, I guess it's another episode we're holding screams at meta for an hour and 10 minutes while we tried to talk

about celebrity gossip. Wouldn't that be just beautiful? I love it when you get into those autosomes. Now, imagine how upset Oprah was about her goofam-ups. Some of the funniest time celebrities have exposed themselves have to do with that pesky scent from iPhone marker on Twitter. For example, back in the early 2010s, Oprah continually promoted the Microsoft Surface. In late November 2012, she again tweeted her love for the product and said she'd bought 12 of them as Christmas gifts. But the tweet itself noted it had been posted from her iPad.

And I imagine these are the kind of things that Oprah doesn't have time. Does she just like, I don't know, fix it. someone fax it. Then I imagine Alicia Keys probably felt the same way. Similarly, in 2013, BlackBerry named Alicia Keys, their global creative director, and Keyes went on record with the New York Times that she only used her Blackberry 10. Then she posted a tweet reading, started from the bottom, now we're here, the problem. The tweet indicated it was sent from an iPhone.

That's great. I love she claimed she'd been hacked by the time. They always do. Including me. Remember that teen who was like, my mom took all my mom. my devices and it was posted from her smart refrigerator. Yes, yes, yes. She was like tweeting from her smart.

Whoa, man, those are, you know, there's something about, like, I think it is just like Jetsons in my brain that I look at a smart refrigerator. I'm like, I've got to have one. I don't need to have one. I can't imagine a point in my life where I ever could afford something like that. But, like, there's also like a weird, feral part of me that's like, I must live in the Jetsons have the fridge that talks to me and then you never have to look

in the fridge and the fridge just tell you what's inside of the fridge. I'm getting too excited about a fridge and I will stop talking about that right now. It's because you have a tiny fridge Jackie. You want a nicer fridge. I want a big, I want a big, theic fridge. Well, now this is where we get into some of the unfortunate

sexy things when Dean Norris simply tweeted, oh, I always forget Jiffs, Gifts, Gifts, Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. I said jiffs. I said jiffs all my life and gifts is what it's So when Dean Norse simply tweeted sex gifs in 2018, many believed he'd mistaken Twitter as a search bar and accidentally revealed he had been wanting to look up sex gyps. We can't confirm this was his intention or that he wasn't hacked, but the internet had a field day and it remains one of the most memorable examples of celebs possibly exposing. Dean, look up full videos.

You don't, that's the most. There was a time when there was a lot of sex gifts on Twitter. the most frustrating, like, thing to jerk off to. I mean, I guess unless he just wants to be amused by them. But, uh, you know, it's, I feel like you, you, yeah, go. There's so many resources. Pornhub, X video. I know it's getting harder and harder now is they need you to send a fucking your license to them in order to access it in certain states, which is absurd. Um, but, uh, yeah, come on, man. There's real, there's a, there's a, there's a full on 30 minute long, hour long. I mean, the sky's the limit in terms of the length of videos you could enjoy.

But you know that thing where you... Just sex gifts. Like, I don't know if you guys have hate follows, but I are not, I don't follow them, but I hate, hate, hate, you know, a couple of people... I have hate follows. Yeah, a couple of people that you search them every so often and you just see what this bitch been up to. And I'm always, always afraid that I will tweet out the name of the person I am looking

to like hate check on, you know? Oh, yes. And then my biggest, I will check on the person and then I will literally look at my own Twitter profile to make sure I did not accidentally tweet their name. It is like my biggest neuroses. Like what if I just tweet it out? So scary. I mean, or you could be doing these things on purpose like Samuel L. Jackson, who liked

a ton of hardcore porn on Twitter, all of which he unliked after fans pointed it out to him. Love it. That's great. He was doing it. Of course, Ted Cruz, the Ted Cruz incident is brought up and we don't need to go down that Road and also Chris Evans, you know, accidentally posting a picture of his erect penis. Oh, yeah, that was fun. But then he immediately, and he said, now that I have your attention, vote November 3rd after

you realize what had happened. Some of them are cute, you know, so sometimes you roll with the punches. And that is my list for you guys today. All right. Nice list. Let's keep it rolling with some good blind items. We're on a roll. Ah, I can't see.

Yeah. Ah, we can't see them. Blind items. All right, never mind. And the curse has, or not the curse has been lifted the opposite, whatever that is. We're on a roll. No, you've already put the, no, you have put extra curse on me. I can't believe I didn't even talk about this up top the fact that I didn't get to go to Orville

Peck and I blame you. Yes. I'm also blaming hold. You got Holden graded or whatever you want to call it. Because he put his Holden curse bullshit. His slime all over me. Yeah. You accepted my slime though.

I was like, can I put some slime on you? And you were like, sure. won't affect my fucking chances of enjoying life. Don't ask me these questions when I'm like a fifth of fireball in? It's true. You can't trust me. It is true. You were more fireball than a woman at that point.

Sunday morning coming down. All right, here we go. The first one. The criminal was always scheduled to be sent home the first week because that is how she got permission to appear on a competition show recently. I just also just wanted to talk about this. No, it is a show where a, folks must perform in a certain specific way

involving movement. And she is a criminal and it's insane that she was on. Dancing with the Stars. Yes. And you know who? She's a celebrity. She talks like this. She's a very thick accent. She's always talking like this. Oh, Anna Delvey. Yes. Anna Delvey is a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. She had a spangled ankle brace for the show. And it was so funny. I was hanging out with Ed and his love wife Julie and she brought up this situation because the funniest part

about it is that the very ad Julianne Huff, is that right? Asked her what she was taking from her experience on the show at the end when she was kicked off and just went, nothing. Extremely, and a delvy answer. Well, yeah.

What are you taking up for your experience? Nothing. Nothing. It's so funny. And I can't believe how trashy it is. What do you guys think about having convict? on competition shows like Dancing of the Stars because I think it's absolutely atrocious.

As long as the ankle. Yeah. Yeah, and the ankle thing was all, you know, blinged out and isn't that fun. Yeah, that's, it's nice that she's decorating. I think this is like an idiocracy nightmare. This is like some Mike Judge shit. You know what he mean?

Oh, yeah, no, it's certainly a nightmare. I just think it's not all convict situation. There's plenty of convicts who could go on dancing with the stars. I wouldn't care. She's just a bitch. Well, but that's the thing. Like, like, literally, like, on purpose having people on who are, like, contentious individuals like this.

Yeah. And I'm not even saying, like, you know, it'd be one thing to have, like, let's say, like, Lizzo on, who's been the source of controversy, but still at the heart is, like, a talented person that we, you know, became successful from talent, not just from, like, she's just a professional trickster that got a little. I feel so, like, bad that I just like, I'm so, like, when I look at people that are really good at fraud, I guess she's not that good because she got really, really caught. But I, there's something, like, can you imagine? I think that in my brain I see it as, like, living that kind of, like, secret spy life.

And so there's something so, like, salivating to me about that world because that is so not anything I could ever even possibly try to ever even possibly try to ever. to ever like I just can't lie to save my life I couldn't even imagine trying to get away with any of this stuff right so I think I look at her and I'm like wow and she can dance and I am charmed by like being I like when people are cheeky about their ankle brace yeah like I guess that's the only reason I'm defending her because I do actually think that like the sparkly ankle brace is kind of fun but yeah she just sucks and also I always mix her up with Elizabeth Holmes who is a different type of scammer you know the blood that that or no sweat would you would you would you would you is she appropriate for Dancing with the Stars? That's honestly who I was picturing at first when you were saying Anadelvie and I was like that would make sense too. And Adelvie is a more fun one. That there was a little more insidious.

I mean, the reason why, but this would still, if you were one of her victims, you'd be fucking pissed to see her on Dancing with the Stars. Oh, but I think the reason why we have a lot of more is that she prayed on extremely rich like kind of status obsessed people. Right. Right.

She like preyed on their bullshit, which I think makes us. less, but still, I mean, you know, there's real victims involved. And if you can get away with it, get away with it. Right. I know you're not supposed to say that. It's just they're so rich. Right.

So I just am like, if they don't know. It makes us have less sympathy for sure. Which you shouldn't. There's still human beings, but. No, I think it's the, you're nailing the conflicting feeling of it. You know what I mean? Totally. Exactly.

Yeah, I mean, you show up. That's exactly the feeling we all have at the same time. About the very rich victims. of Adelaide. All right, moving right along. The crazy, another person I can't believe the way in which they're being on television.

The crazy thing about the special from the one-named comic who got pushed out of show business for being mean to her employees. Oh my God. She ignores it and pretends it was for some other reason. Meanwhile, the production team on the special was treated like crap

by her, so nothing changed. Ellen, Ellen, Ellen, I believe it. Ellen, get out of here. I won't watch. Did you watch? Did you watch it? It is such a past the buck.

I cannot. She had such an opportunity to get up there and own stuff. And instead, she just like fully. Denied. Denied. Or was just like, like, I never was supposed to run a company. Like, I was, you know, she tries to. It's the same thing I see over and over again with people like this that get exposed.

They try to like rewrite history and soften it. It's like, no, no. You were notoriously fucking horrible to people. Like, I listen to a podcast. with two people who used to write for her show and they can only say so much. But I think the NDA's lifted recently so they're able to say more.

Say more, yes. She was relentlessly terrible, not just like, oh, she's in the wrong shoes. She's a silly comedy person who now has to run a company and sometimes she has bad days and sometimes she does. No, she was a very open secret that she was actually very, very awful

in a more extreme way than any of, the other hosts. Me people's days and nightcare. Yeah. You know, I don't want to support. Yeah. I only saw, I was going to ask you, because I know you watched those specials sometimes out of curiosity, but I saw

like the opener. Did you guys see the opening? It's like, oh, it's like her standing backstage and it's like the voices are reading, the tweet, the mean tweets about her and the images of the tweets are like attacking her. And it like very literally, visually, frames her as a victim of a, a, a horrible internet pile on, which is how people always react when they are called on their bullshit.

And they're like, look at me. I'm being attacked. And it's like, you're being attacked because of the things you did. You definitely did. The most insulting thing that I see a pattern of is hiding behind feminism. And being like, I'm just a strong woman. You know what I mean? Because she was trying to like, yeah, she was trying to like conflate like, first I was kicked off for being gay.

Now I'm being kicked off for being a powerful woman. It's like, no. That's not it. A horrible, horribly abusive behavior that you are not taking ownership of at all. Totally. It's so double insulting, right? Yes. Like, not only are you full of shit and it's so annoying, but you're going to use something

that really should be used for good to, you know, and conflating it to this is so obnoxious. It's like feminism is great and it gets misused so much. Well, there's a whole thing of like, you know, white woman tears of like, like, you know, if a white woman does harm and then is called on it, then, you know, can kind of mobilize like the deep reservoir of sympathy towards certain women. Like how I feel about holding with the pygmy hippo. Yeah. I cry about, you know, I understand. Yeah, yeah.

Shoot it out of a rocket into the sun. Yeah. Watch it set on fire. And let's get a camera of that. Let's get a live feat of that, I say. Think about Moudang. Go on. But yeah, no, just that, like, I try.

not to be like white women tears or whatever too much, but it is actually a thing of being like, I can't be a victim because I'm in this other like, you know, victims can. Yes, exactly. And, and like I, that's not true. That's just right. It's just like you, to act as if you're the victim of a pile on when the pile on was caused by the actual, your actual behavior as a very powerful employer, like is just a ridiculous little switchroo. Yeah. It's so, it's so, I was really looking forward to, like, it was like her and I already brought up Lizzo for whatever reason, but her and like Lizzo, I was like, hey, they have this moment right now where they could do something really like interesting and refreshing.

You know what I mean? And of course, it's, it always is so disappointing. And this is no different. It's just like, really, dude, no. We're not, I'm not going to buy this at all. Like there's receipts, dude. Yeah. There's fucking receipts.

And the NDAs are running out, by the way. I just mentioned that, right? So, like, there's even more receipts still coming out. Like, you were fucking horrible to people. Really, really, really horrible. No, no, no, no. It's crazy that the end result, or not the end result, but wherever we are now in the timeline of, like,

kind of post-Winstein, you know, what has become shorthand-cancel culture, is just people coming out and having their, like, victory lap and return and completely erasing whatever it was that they were canceled for it. Right. Or at least thinking that it does, you know.

Right. Trying to. Yeah. Because you could just say up is down, you know? We could just, I could just say I wasn't talking shit about the dumb penguin on Jack with the Holdies one. Clearly,

I definitely did talk tons of shit about how stupid the big penguin is. We all know that he did. You all know that I wasn't lying. I can't the Vod, which I don't know what happened. It just got, there's some technical issue. It's no longer available.

Jack, rise up. Help me, chat. There's no. way to clip it or any. I don't see it. I just, it's lost a time. The, uh, and the final one of the day, the final blind item, the permanent A-List singer specifically wanted to have her second record to be able to play backwards. She is fun with the blade. She's had a long career. Britney? Yes, Brady Spears. Apparently, I had to quickly look up and make sure I never did this

for a conspiracy theory. Apparently, uh, uh, with baby one more time, when played backwards, you can hear in the chorus something that sounds like, sleep with me. I'm not too young. What? What are you talking about? That sounds like a late 90s internet conspiracy theory. Yeah, yeah. That's apparently, that's the word on the street.

And that's the last blind item. Wow. Good with the blade. Bad with the blade. Public relations. With the public relations. Spade. But also probably that.

Was that like a bat at poker? Like she's bad at Gordon? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good with... Yeah. So, yeah. It could have worked, but I ruined it yet again.

And I can see again and I see... I see dead people. Ruin that too. I see dead people. Bruce Willis was a good man. And still is. It was nice. He's nice to Haley Joel Osman.

Isn't that nice? Yes, absolutely. But that's not what we're talking about right now. Because we're going to talk about it over on the leftovers. Come hang out with us on the leftovers. Over on Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. But my name is Jackie Zbrowski, and I want to thank all you guys for listening to our episode this week. You can come follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm.

And please check out my new show called Who's the Bitch on LPN. I'm doing and co-hosting it with Kara Clank from the That's Messed Up SVU podcast. So come find out if you're the bitch or if someone else is the bitch in your life and you can give us a call. You can write us an email. You can leave us a DM. Go to who's the bitch.com. but also addendum. Now it's an addendum, Jackie.

It was only second billing. Do you feel forgotten MJ? MJ and I play The Sims on Wednesdays, and you should come hang out. Twitch.tv. Oh, no, it's Jackie. Wednesday mornings, we woohoo. And God, help me, if we don't figure out how to make that ambrosia, because I want to start bringing people back to life.

Man, so much stuff to promote. There's so much content. It's ridiculous. Again, hold nater's hoe with two O's on Instagram. Help me get my numbers back. I know it probably won't happen, but let's see how close we can get. Hold nater's hell with two O's over there. Also, though, also also, Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast for $5 a month.

You get the leftovers. You get Jackie's Book Club and ad-free episodes of these on main feed shows. It is such a good value add. 10 bucks a month, Buffy, baby. Season 3. Hitting that stride. season three, it's so good. And it's the spooky season. So if you haven't caught up on it, now's the time. You should binge the shit out of those in October. That's the best time for it.

So check us out, patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast, Twitch.tv. TV, forward slash hold hold on hold. Every Friday, Jack and with the holdies, Jackie Nye, drink fireball and lose ourselves in the moment. And it is beautiful. And I talk shit about the dumb inguine. And then you go, Can't be held accountable for anything you say. Yeah. Exactly. Can't be held accountable. Yeah.

Can't be because we're loaded. Can't cancel me if I don't exist. Absolutely. So check it out. Yeah, it doesn't exist. It's live. It happens live. So check that out.

Hold Nader's Ho on Twitch. LPN TV. You already mentioned who's the bitch. We got tears of a clown. We've got something like every night now on that channel. So that's crazy. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com is my last one. Please send in the conspiracy theories.

This was such a banger week for the, for those. So thank you so much. Please send in more conspiracy theories over on page of a podcast at gmail.com. M.J. My name is M.J. And I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram. Let's sing the song, y'all.

Shout, shout. Lay it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're gonna read that to you. Come on. Ooh, yeah, it's shout out. Time. It's time for the shoutouts. And you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcast at

Gmail.com. We love hearing from you guys. And we really appreciate your high hellos. We appreciate your TV wrecks. We appreciate your conspiracy theory. We appreciate your list. And gosh, we just appreciate you that you join us every week. And I just want to say, hey, I love you. And I thank you. Anyway, now it's time to jump into the shoutouts, page seven podcast or Gmail. dot com first up we've got a beautiful shout-out going out to megan megan says when i first started listening to page seven i was an office manager at a hospice company and was so stressed out i'd go home and cry almost every other day i'm so sorry megan now i'm a stay-at-home mom and do a weekly podcast with my husband where we yell about star trek Shameless plug, check out the Daystrom Dropouts, D-A-Y-S-T-R-O-M,

Daystrom dropouts. And I couldn't be happier. Through the highs and the lows, page 7, and the whole L-P-N catalog has been there helping me keep my head above water. So shout out to me and my husband for finally starting the podcast we've been talking about for years. Me for pushing out a whole damn human this year and the L-Pian universe for being the best group of people on the internet. Jackie have attached this pick for you. I took my five-month-old son to the

Huntsville, Alabama Art Museum for their 100 years of animation gallery. Part of the collection was a female Gremlin puppet from Gremlin's too. I was amazing how small she was considering she has such a big personality. Thank you so much for thinking about me. And thank you for setting over that pick. So much love to you, Megan, and to your husband. And again, check out Daystrom dropouts. Moving on to our next grade shoutout. The shoutout comes in from Emma. Emma says, I wanted to shout myself out. I love a self-shout because it is my birthday on the 25th of September.

Yes, that's tomorrow and I wrote this too late for it to come out this week, but no worries. That's my own ADHD, time blindness, brains fault. And we are here for you because you know what, Emma? That just means we get to celebrate you even longer. And I love that. So I'm going to continue to say, I hope that your birthday was delightful and is delightful. Emma says I'm turning 32, which I'm stoked about because I prefer even numbers to odd. And my 30th birthday was overshadowed by my partner at the time cheating on me and blowing up our relationship.

And last year's birthday was overshadowed by my best friend's wedding happening about two weeks after. I've had a tough summer at work, starting with a trusted colleague, more or less stabbing me in the back. and my supervisors telling me I needed to drastically change my interpersonal behaviors at work in order for me to be able to move forward with my career there. This was incredibly difficult to hear and even harder to not take personally and accept it as constructive criticism. Oh, sidebar, am I completely understand what you were going through. It was unfortunately also at the same time as me starting medication trials for ADHD and anxiety.

Congratulations. I was pretty miserable for several months, but one of my teammates sat me down one day and let me talk it out and really helped me see the situation in a new perspective. Having him on my team for the last year and a half has made such a big difference to me, simply because he is also a neurodivergent, probably ADHD nerd like me, and we just understand each other so well. He's also an LPN listener, so Dan, if you're listening, you are an amazing, friend and teammate, and I cannot thank you enough. And I'm so excited for you and Audrey to become

parents in December. But anyways, back to me. I did a lot of hard work the last couple of months, and it has really paid off. I've been given heaps of praise by all my colleagues, supervisors, and even my director about my positive outlook and work ethic. And if we get this grant we applied for, fingers crossed, I will be co-leading a project. Ah, I am extremely excited about. It has been a season of both finding inner strength to invoke change in myself and learning that I do have support I can reach for when I need it. Oh, thank you, Emma. I just wanted to thank the three of you for always being there when I need some friendly

voices to distract me. Thank you so much, Emma. And thank you so much for sending in the love. I do want to read definitely one of your fun and bizarre facts that Nick Cannon spoke at my fifth grade graduation. We had a substitute teacher who was apparently his aunt, and he legit guest starred at our graduation ceremony at an elementary school in Charlotte, North Carolina. How random is that? That was like early, early aughts way before he got weird.

Oh, my God, Emma! That's so, such an interesting, I guess it would make sense. But also such a weird thank you for your fun and bizarre fact. And I just want to send you so much love, Emma. And love out to Dan. Emma, you're killing it, and sometimes we just need different perspective in life. And I'm so proud of you for being open for it and asking for the help that you needed. Sending you so much love, Emma, and good luck on the grant.

Now we've got one more shoutout coming in, and this comes in from Katie. Oh, it's a love shout out. Katie says, I wanted to give a shout out to my husband, Hector. We've been together since November of 2015, where high school sweethearts. and got married in March of 2023. Congratulations. Hector and I have seen so many seasons of each other, loving each version more than the last.

In August of this year, we made the spontaneously life-altering decision to quit our jobs, leave behind family, and move from our hometown of San Diego, California, to Colorado. Our goal was simple, to get more out of life

and get ourselves off an unhappy hamster wheel. Good for you, Katie. We finally arrived in Colorado after driving 18 hours. Almost immediately, the universe said, LOL, fuck you guys. And caused us to pack up within a week. What? We experienced the most chaotic, heartbreaking five days of our, quote, new life.

Jobs that we had lined up fell through, and landlord issues, oh my God, caused us to pack up within a week to drive another 12 hours to my parents' house in Wisconsin. We had nothing. No income, no permanent home, two cats to feed, just two previously established devastated adults starting over. Hector immediately began searching for a job and took on any side work he could while I was a shell of myself after such a whirlwind of events. Within a couple of weeks, he found a fantastic job as a union journeyman, a title he's been wanting for years, also with great insurance, holla! And broke the cycle of having shitty underpaid construction jobs with even shittier coworkers

that drain his happiness. Oh, stop! I find myself holding back happy tears when he tells me silly stories about his day at work and all the new, healthy friendships he's made so far. My heart is overfilling with joy, seeing him genuinely smile like we're teenagers with no care in the world again, knowing that all this crazy, shit we went through wasn't in vain. Two-ish months in, and we adore Wisconsin and couldn't be happier. We think this is going to be our permanent home. Congratulations, Katie and Hector. God, that must

have been so scary, but man, sometimes struggling through your bottom or what you think might be a bottom, or just struggling, and you think that there is no hope, there is no positivity at the other end of this, man, you guys work through it. together and I'm so fucking happy for you both. It's so easy for us to stay in the hamster wheel and for every day to be unhappy because it's hard to change. And I'm so proud of you both. Katie continues on and says through all of this, Hector was and still is my fucking rock. This man is the embodiment of strength and grace and deserves the world, all the planets, each and every star, the Milky Way, the universe, and more.

I can't begin to describe the amount of life-changing light and love he breathes into every person he meets, especially me. Hector is incredible in all meanings of the word. I'm beyond grateful to have found him in this lifetime, and even more thankful to call him my partner. Stop, Katie. I never thought a love like this could exist. But who boy, I hit it rich. I love doing life with you, Hector. I love you, Katie.

I love you, Hector. I love you, Jeff. I'm feeling a lot, and I want to say thank you, Katie, for writing it about your love. And I'm so happy for you both. Oh, just journey forth. I hope you just have the best life together and let us know. Give us an update next year. I want to know how it's going.

Sending so much love and light to you both and to everybody that's listening right now. If you made it through the shoutouts, just because you like hearing other people doing great or getting through shit, I just want to say thank you so much for listening to our shoutouts. And again, for joining us every week on page seven. We couldn't do it without you guys. And I'd give you each little kisses. We'll be back next week. Bye, everybody.

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