Page 7 - Ep. 555: The MomTok Project

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

This week on Page 7 Holden wants to watch an ape give cunnilingus to another ape (who doesn't tbh), Jackie's feelin' herself to Ashnikko, and thankfully her fam is doin' fine but still without power due to ole Milton, MJ's got the lip reader transcript of Nicole Kidman and Salma Hayek's incredibly awkward encounter at a Balenciaga! show, once again there is Chappell Roan banter about pressures of fame as well as her TikTok's from this past weekend, Olivia Rodrigo got to meet Pesto the penguin so please send it to Holden and he'll tell you her falling in that pit was karma for meeting such a wretched beast, MJ GOT HIS ORVILLE PECK TICKETS! Jessica Chastain publicly tweeted out about her refund not being enough for her TV not working on her Jetblue flight and people on Twitter got maaaaaad (at Jessica ofc), Raw Dawgin' flights is the new trend no one asked for, but lets hope it leads to some personal self reflection, Mariah Carey REFUSES to be seen under overhead lighting, but that's not stopping her from getting the 30th anniversary of 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' ready to drop like a nuclear weapon, Jackie Stewart's slinging turkey tips even tho IT'S NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN YET, JACKIE, Burger King introduces A BIG SLOPPY DIP CUP of Hidden Valley Ranch, finally a ranch cup fit for a WHOPPER...Over in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Was Secret Lives of Mormon Wives a PSY OP and an ad from BIG SODA TO KEEP US IN THEIR SUGARY CLUTCHES!?!? A List of unbelieve facts about pop music and the weirdos that make it, Holden comes in at the last moment with info on the new T Swift Era Tours Book to much roasting, the Blindz and even MOOOOOORE!   Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I usually start page 7 with the word conalinguists right up top, but I'm not going to lie to you. The Ash Niko song is just stuck in my head. Me and your girlfriend playing dress up at my house. I gave your girlfriend Conalingis on my couch. She's cute, kawai and daoibuies that excite me. I think she really likes me as politely. Can I, ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Gonna have a slumber body.

Is that Dakota? Yeah, I'm being Tonka right now. And if I were being Tonka, I think that maybe you would be a little bit nicer to me after everything Tonka went through. Man, if I got to see Tonka giving a little lingi to chimp crazy, I would be pretty thrilled. Wait a second.

To another chimp. Yes, to another chimp. What do you talk? I don't want to watch Tonka giving lingi to any other chips. Just a little bit of Lingi to any other chips. Just a little bit of L chimp. Now that it's free out in the wild. We can redirect this conversation immediately from this.

Or if they're all just practicing together on a tree to try to do it better in the future on a date. That I'll accept. That I'm fine. They're all given. Okay. MJ, let me reframe this for you. It's Tonka with a bunch of other friend monkeys. And they're practicing giving Lingy to like a tree that's like a vagina.

It's like a class. Is this what you guys do when you guys do when you guys. get together? Is this what you're trying to tell us? After we're done with a solid round of jizz and the crackers, we practice our lingis and you know this. What do you guys do? Cry about your trauma bond or whatever. It's so whatever.

I just love how you can take the sexiest song. That is, man, so sexy. You can just make me never want leaving ever in my life. Jackie's going to think about Tonka every time that song comes out. Chimpanzees like war. You guys. Chimpanzees are the war people, but nobos are the fuck people. Yeah.

Oh, right. I'm so sorry. That's my... Chimpanzees. I'm such a fuck-up and I'm sorry about that. I'm really angry with you, Holden. I'm very angry. You are a fuck-up today.

Is that what you needed to hear? Bad boy. You're not a fuck-up. I know. I'm not hurting me. What is this? I was reacting. To me ruining the song

with my lanky talk. With your lanky talk. I hold into the song for you and I totally get that. No, but you definitely didn't. I'm still going to be very sexual. when I listen to the song Sleepover by Ashniko. So you can't take that away from me. Oh, now we're show tunes.

Yeah. You know, what? Yeah, we're moving on to show tunes. You'll write from Ashniko to show tunes. That's what page seven is all about. Welcome to page seven, everybody. Guys, we've got an interesting energy today. I don't know what you're talking about.

Don't worry. My family is fine. I just want to thank everybody for reaching out and asking if my family was okay. Everybody made it through. They still don't have power. But you know, they are making it through and that is fine. It's like, who needs to watch their 31 for 31 when you can just experience it just out on the street, you know, and just be scared of your everyday reality.

Yeah, and for anybody who made bets with me about it, I'll be paying you guys out throughout the week on that one. I don't know, you might want to follow up and make sure that he's going to be paying you out for that one. Do they have power? Do they have power? One of them has power, yes. Okay.

So they're all slammed into one. Still hunkered down? Oh, yeah. Oh, I bet that's so fun for all of them. The city of Asheville still doesn't have running water, guys. Jesus. Shout out to Asheville. Yeah, I've been hearing some crazy stuff.

From my chat, because it was, shout out some mop bumper who came into my chat. There's a funny. Ma bumper, you are out there. You are keeping all those mop there. And we appreciate you. Shout out some mop bumper that who came into my chat. like three days ago or something. It was like, just got my power back.

What's up? Everybody I'm back in chat. I was like, first of all, the instinct to be like, finally I get back and hold this Twitch, chat. I got a very sweet message from somebody in Florida who was like,

just got power back, just in time to listen to the new page seven. And I was like, wow, I'm so happy for you. And also, like, is there anything more important? You need to listen to first. Yeah, yeah. But, of course, we're glad to be, we're glad to be the ones that are here for you.

and your times of need. And times of need, we are in. Absolutely. We are needing some smiles on our face, which is why, you know, you look to the celebrity gossip sites to be like, give me a smile. I need something like,

give me another Ben Affleck back tattoo. Well, we don't have it this week. What we do have is a video of Nicole Kidman and Salma Hayek. And, oh, man, did the internet go, did they? Did we? Did who?

Oh, my God. She brushed her arm away from her for a moment. And everyone's like, what's the beef between Nicole Kidman and Salma Hayek? Let's paint a picture for you, right? They're at the Balenciaga show. And Selma Hayek is married to the head of Balenciaga. And Nicole Kidman is a representative of Balenciaga. And then they are together under one umbrella of Balenciaga.

And they are proet. And on this red carpet, Katie Perry's there. All of them are like taking their pictures taken. All the Paps are all around them. Why are they shitting on her? Why aren't they abusing her? I expected that. I expected something.

Lightly push her away. And maybe this was Nicole Kidman showing Selma Hyac that it's a woman's world and she's lucky to be living in it. And maybe that's what was happening in the video. But for a moment of time, Nicole Kidman pushed. away Selma Hayek's arm who goes behind her to direct her towards another camera. And she, of course, all the lip readers are like, but did you see the lips and what the lips saying?

I've got the lip reading transcription up if anybody wants to know what alleged is. Hit us, MJ. Hit us with the transcription of this is what, because I don't know, guys, there's some other things going on in the news. So this is what everyone has decided to be like, but let's get the lip readers. And what are the lip readers have to say, MJ? Yeah, we do seem to be hosting this show in a time where celebrity gossip is just, you know, it's a... We made it through 2020.

We can make it through P. Diddy, a World War III and an election all at the same time. We can make it through. We can make news. Okay, here's what the lip reader says. They said, I'll wake you up when it's over, okay? Let's turn there, okay? Here, Hayek is believed to it said to Kidman. I love it.

Kidman responds, hey, I'm fine, I'm good. There, it's enough. It's okay. To which Hayek said, we have to, to which Kidman said, that's fine, that's fine. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, MJ. And then I have posed with Katie Perry.

So it's a woman's world. My brain has exploded. My brain has exploded. Okay, Katie Perry walks up, why will no one listen to my album? Why is my album so bad? Why is Dr. Luke do this to me? Why did I do this to me? It's just a lot of that. It's a lot of kind of just feel bad kind of stuff she's saying. Now, a lot of people are saying like, oh, maybe Nicole Kidman was in a bad way because this is her first public outing since her mother passed. And she was very close with her mother. But I don't think that her mother passing is anything to do with like them getting there. I think that it was just a lot of like moving bodies and like having your picture taken. And I imagine when you're a celebrity, you're used to people literally just. moving your body and putting you place. Yeah, it's annoying.

That's annoying. The whole press circuit thing's annoying where you have to sit down and do those little bite-sized interviews. You know what I mean? All of this stuff puts celebrities in a shit mood. And it just is what it is, you know? And it's, I don't feel, you know, I don't want to be like, oh, woe is them. But it's just like, I'd get cranky too.

I was constantly being herded around like some kind of animal or over and over your ass like, so. Rippert had shaved her own head because she was. so sick of everybody looking at her and touching her and telling her what to do with her hair. I know. And then everyone's like, Chapo, these has stopped compartment. And it's like, you know, I understand the people who are like, Chaplin, you've, your star is rising.

You're doing really well. But also, it would just be very weird to be thrust into, like, I just can't imagine, like, people writing an article about whether or not Jackie and I were mad at each other when we, like, gently moved past each other, you know, like, it would drive, like, you must be able to access. I feel like the chapel's just not at a space where she can turn off all the noise because it's so new to her. Of course. Nicole Kidman and Selma Hayek must just be at a space where there's like, I could not possibly care about this even if I needed to.

Like, I'm trending for what reason? And you just have to, you just must have to like, it must be very hard to be like, I must not care about what millions of people are saying about me. I think I have to add one to my list. So I always said I want everybody to have to have to work in the food. service industry for like a month or two to be a waiter rather. Everyone should have to be a teacher for a month or two. And I think I'm going to have to add everybody should have to be famous. A public figure for just a month or two to see how awful it is.

Because I don't think people really quite understand because they're in this bite-sized moment with the celebrity. They're like, oh my God, I'm in this coffee shop with this celebrity. This is my moment. You know what you mean? But on the other side of that, it's just got to be. They're just getting coffee. Like, I bet it's so cool for like one day.

You know, like, especially if you get successful like that overnight. I bet it's so cool for like one day or like a week. And then by week two even, you're just like, okay, maybe fuck this unless you're just the most extreme narcissist. You know what I mean? And also, I mean, some people just, I think really like the all the time attention. And I say, good on you. Yeah. I can't imagine being one of those people.

I, but I think it's, you know, I, but do you know if you can handle it until you're really in it? as well. And I think that's also what I feel like a lot of people look at Chapel and they're like, well, you got what you ask for. But it's like, well, you also don't really know what it is until you're really in it, I imagine. Also, though, did you guys see all the TikToks of Chapel at ACL? Like, there's like a TikTok of somebody who's like, I don't know how far away, but like in their neighborhood and they go outside their house and they can hear in the distance like the melodic tunes of thousands of people singing, H-O-T-O-T-O. Yeah. That's. And she like stops and it's like, oh my God.

And then there's another video like I cried of like it's it's same. Her at the ACL performance singing Pink Pony Club and the camera just like zooms out to how many people are screaming it along with her. And it's just like, you know, so I do feel like obviously after Chapel dropped out at the thing that was in Queens. Everybody at the last minute everybody was very upset with her. But then they ended up replacing her. with like local drag artists who everybody loved. And, you know, I just, I like see, like, I feel like there was so much, so much hate

on her there for a while that all the TikToks about her this past weekend from this performance. And it's just like bringing just like beauty to the world, you know, and I'm just happy for her. We need beauty being brought into the world. And that's why, you know, Holden, he gets upset about the mudangs. He gets upset about the pastos. But you know who doesn't get upset about the pestos? Olivia Rodriguez. Oh my God.

Here we go. another person that is just killing it. If you haven't sent it to him, send it to him now. Yes, that Olivia Rodriguez meets Pesto the baby penguin. All right. And she was very excited about it. I love her excitement. And then, but you know,

and then karma got her for that because then she fell down a hole and we're talking about that. So wait. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not moving right past this. Wait, so you're saying anyone that likes Pesto or a Moudang, you think that something bad is going to befall them because they enjoy a fluffy animal

or a cute pygmy hippo? Well, just something gave me a little chortle. And I haven't had a chortle in a while, but something gave me a mild chortle recently. No, your chortals are evil, though. Like, that's the thing. Like, no one wants your chortles. No one's happy that you've had a chortle after a long period of time.

Yeah, my chortle's like my lingi. It's like it should be good, but it's always bad. Yeah, but, but regardless of chortle in the world. Yeah. But, you know, with Moudang, I was like, oh, well, someday Moudang will grow up and everybody, everybody all hate Moudang and because Moudang got old and being old is the worst thing to ever happen in our society.

Pest of the baby penguin eats 25 fish a day as a nine month old. It isn't that fascinating? Well, I just want to say this. Then other people were like, it's a pigmy hip back. It doesn't go up and always stay that way. And so I was like, fine, whatever. But you know what? Not true for Pesto.

Pesto has its like big chunky, chunky baby fur or whatever. That's about to fall off, sons. So you think that you will be, Chunky babies? You also are you, Is this anger also towards beautiful babies as well? You just look at babies and you think someday you're going to be a disgusting adolescent.

I'm saying exactly. So everybody right now is very soon that that child who I, and that child who I will protect, everyone will turn their back and guess who will still be standing there. Guess who will be ready to love Pesto then? Me. Only doubt it. I'll be the one standing there. While everyone else moves on to the next Q's.

animal fad on on internet land and I'll be the one saying they're like I love you now Pesto I accept you now and love you now as an elder and I will take care of Pesto and I will be with Pesto. Is that we're going to say to Winnie when Winnie's in middle school? I need you to look better than this. Now that you're old and gross old and awkward I'm now here for you like I was unlike before my cold and call father that's the you because you want to be you want to be catching them in the rye yes when they need you the most and that's When they're jumping off the cliff into adulthood and where do the ducks go? Speaking of jumping off a cliff, I can't believe you just made fun of Olivia Rodriguez for falling in that hole.

I don't know. She fell in a hole on the stage. She handled it extremely well. I love her. It was crazy too. I saw a different angle like someone was like who sabotaged her because it really almost looks like it because it's like the lights go dark. The hole emerges.

Like the hole is created. On the stage goes down. That hole is made in the. dark, there's no way she would ever see it. And then she's just like, she just fucking flies into it. But then she hops back up. And continue, like, she's amazing.

What a performance. I'm so excited. October 29th, her concert is coming to Netflix. I'm so genuinely excited for it. Yeah, no, that's really fun. Also, I got my Oroville peck tickets. Nice. Yes, MJ.

Look at me. going out of my house. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski.

And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your co-worker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend?

Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network, so subscribe. now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch

channel where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. So surprised how quickly Orville Peck, because the concert was canceled, how quickly they got more dates in L.A. Like, I'm going to go see him in a couple of weeks. Like they got the, I thought, I was like, oh, great. the concerts canceled and now we're not going to see him for another couple of years but no they actually yeah they i was very surprised and was like all right well i'll take this and i don't know if that's like an orville peck thing

or if that's his people thing but they did it really fast so thank you orville pack yes you get all of the accolades because that is the beauty of being the celebrity it's not all of the many many teams of hardworking people that i'm sure that actually took care of that and not orville peck but i'm to thank Orville Peck and I'm going to say, great job. But has he come out in support of Kamala? These are the questions we need to know. I think I think we can guess. I'm pretty sure we know.

Orville Peck is voting for. Not that it fucking matters. I need him to make a giant statement about it. It mattered for Tay because Dey needs to get the youth out to vote. That's why it mattered for Tay. That's why it matter for Tay. I don't give a shit. Yeah, I agree.

You just got to vote. I don't think it's, I think it's when you are, when AI art is made of you supporting the other side you don't support. That is when you really do have a responsibility. I agree. I feel like that was overblown to. Wow, we're showing Chap a lot of grace today and I love that. And Ariana, too, last week, everyone was like, oh.

Oh, Grace. So nice. So nice to the evil witch. Arianna was really funny on SNL, too. She was very funny. She was really funny. She was really funny. Did you see that sketch?

I didn't see that. I saw the her imitating the Celine Dion, NFL ad that we talked about last weekend. Oh, great. And the espresso and the espresso thing. She's really funny. Man, I have complete turn. She's great. But she's made for that.

I mean, she was essentially doing that on Nickelodeon for fucking how many years before she, you know. Talented comedic actress. Except for her feet were out and she was like in weird positions. But other than that, it was pretty much the same thing. Yeah. And goo shot all over her face. But, you know, we've all had those days when goo shoots out all over your face. And I would.

say that Jessica Chastain had a little bit of that kind of day as well. And that was on her jet blue flight. And here's the thing. I don't think that a celebrity should be ripped apart for going against an airline being like, hey, I paid a lot of money for this flight. And I deserve to have internet on the flight. I deserve. And she publicly tweeted out about it.

And everyone was like, oh, oh, you're so upset because they're like, oh, boo, who for you? And you're like, awesome first class flight that you didn't, or no, her television wasn't working. Yeah. And then she was like, oh, so sorry for you. But here's the thing. Wouldn't that be the person that should complain even extra because they're paying thousands and thousands of dollars for the flight? Yeah, this is, I was also, I would like really try to. Maybe not extra, but like I feel like it's, I'm not upset with her.

Right. I think that there's this, this, listen, I also want to point and be mad at rich people. I think it's a good instinct, right? But people be like, to be like, this bitch. Oh, boo-ho, you're on your first class. Yeah, exactly. Like, I appreciate the, this bitch boo-hoo instinct. Yes. But in a fight between Jessica Chastain and an airline.

And an airline. We side with Jessica Chastain. The airline is always the evil one. Can we just mostly, most of the time the airline is the evil person. Unless we're talking about like, you know, yes, during COVID and stuff, like there was times where I decided with the airline because the airline has to kick out a man. You know, like, so there's time. But like, I just don't understand the people that are like, ah, this rich Jessica Chastay and I side with JetBlue. Like, what are we doing here, guys?

Like, yeah, it's annoying when you pay, the problem is airlines are awful right now. You pay these astronomical prices. whether you're flying first class or not, and then you have terrible service on the plane. And you have terrible service. And it's not, and it's because people are overworked and because people, it's like,

it's the whole system that is broken. And I will say she was like also, she was explicitly complaining that JetBlue gave her a $15 credit for her television not working. And that's what she was so openly against of like, that's how you're going to apologize. That is ridiculous. and I would complain as well,

but I don't have the same kind of like, if I tweeted about it, no one would give a shit. Totally. But Jessica Chastain, I understand complaints about it. I guess that's the thing. How do you feel?

Because I feel gray area about this. How do you feel about people, you know, using social media to complain about specific individual issues? Because I see this with airlines all the time. All the time. People who use their, like, who are like, I think there's a, I think what frustrates me a little bit about this is the unfairness of like, you, celebrity or person with X amount of followers can use this as a way to get what you want on social media. That's fair.

Whereas like, nobody else like has that privilege where. But that's not true because I have a friend of mine that, like, fought for many hours on the phone and couldn't, like, couldn't get anything done. So she started tweeting at American Airlines. And it eventually got the money refunded. So that's the thing. Tweeting gets the goods and making a PR nightmare gets the goods. And that's why I think it's good that rich and famous people should complain if they're complaining about a richer and more powerful institution because some standup was just tweeting

about this. Like his, I think his partner had to fly to like Australia, but had sprung for a first class ticket. I mean, that's one of those things where I could understand people being like, if you have like the money to spring for a first class, I'm just not going to be sympathetic to you, which, okay, sure, but we do unfortunately live in a capitalist society where you expect a certain amount of goods for the money you pay. So if you pay, so this comics partner had paid for a first class ticket. And then I think for Australia, so we're talking about a real long flight. And I think it was like the Wi-Fi was out or her personal TV was broken or something, similar situation. And it's like,

well, I just, I paid for a service and I didn't get the service, right? And I feel like that's what Jessica Chastain is identifying. And while I agree with you, Holden, that it is like the thing of tweeting about something, it's very carony, right? Like you're like, I'm making a scene to get what I want. Yeah, I think that's why, and by the way, I'm just posing the question because I feel gray about it. I'm not saying, I understand.

Oh, I get it. So this is very good. I like this conversation. Yeah, that's what it is. It feels a little carony. It is carony. Yeah. And whatever.

But also, that's. But I have done it. I have tweeted at, you know how many times I've tweeted at optimum? Uh-huh. Because that's the only time they'll respond. Which is, which really I think is the more fucking annoying thing, right? And frustrating thing is like, you have to like, yeah, exactly. You have to like do this call-out shit.

Yeah. Call out. Yeah, you have to try to cancel. But yeah, you have to like call out culture in a while. But yeah, you have to like call out culture these fucking assholes to get them to give a shit. And it's so annoying. Just like you have to, you know, if you get cancer now, you just have to put up the obligatory go fund me to fucking pay your medical bills.

Like we just live in such a weird. Yeah. I think those two things are connected. Yes. Sure. You're using, you're trying to harness whatever individual leverage you can to make up for a systemic gap.

Yeah. And that is why Jessica, I have no problem with Jessica Chastain. Maybe also because I don't personally find her annoying. And if I did personally find Jessica Chastain annoying, maybe I'd be like, uh, this bitch. But I just, again, I feel like. Yeah.

She seems great. And man, she, those fuck scenes and scenes from marriage make me. Think about when Oscar Isaac missed the inside of her arm on that. Oh, dude. It was a Tonka's dream, man. Yeah. It was a Tonka. Yeah.

Get me closer to a tree. Is that a Tonka's dream? Yeah. I didn't have to go look for a tree after this. Just thinking about that. I'm just going to go. Trees close by. I could have a couple of little marks on them.

I can move further away from your home before. All right. Yeah. For sure. I'll go away. I'll go to, yeah, the Redwoods. Oh, it's Wittie's dad. Hey, Wittie's dad.

Oh, all right. Oh, wow, he's really going to town, huh? Did you know, maybe he's doing like a superstar thing? I hope. Oh, no, he's not. All right. Wow, that's just, okay, interesting. I want to break down the other side of this that I feel a little gray about, okay?

A TV not working to me is like pretty, like, there's pretty minor. Like, I get that it's really annoying. I've been on flights where I... Holden, how mad would you be six-hour flight? Six-hour flight? Okay, well, I bring my switch. I have podcasts. I literally download episodes onto my tablet.

I do all of these things because I've been on a flight where my fucking... You saw... I did get this upset when I really needed to get work done. I had this one flight to do it when we were touring all the time. Remember, the internet didn't work. Yeah, you were the Jessica Chastain many times. You were the Jessica Chess Day. But I got refunded my money and at the end of the day, it just, it's just, it's,

Like, Wi-Fi goes down all the time everywhere. Like, you know what I mean? You have specifically been the Jessica Chastain. You're right. I agree with you. You flipped out, though. I was upset. But I wasn't upset enough to go on Twitter.

Like, I wasn't upset enough to be mad about it more than like 30 minutes. You know what you mean? Like, I guess is where I'm at. Listen, bring a book and pre-download your episodes. I never assume. I always assume that the Wi-Fi won't work. And I think that that's honestly, literally like, a problem. A problem one would have if they're flying first class more often, and they're kind of like,

you know what I mean? They don't do this. Like, I think you lose the ability to be prepared for rights when you're rich. I prepare for a Spirit Airlines flight no matter what flight I'm taking. Oh, yes. I have all that shit. I bring my own snacks. I bring my water bottle.

I make sure I got everything I need to be satisfied just in case. Yeah. Absolutely. Yes. But I also flip out. I would like spiral. Six hours? Yes.

I can't sit there with my thoughts. How do you feel about this raw dogging? Oh, no, my, oh. Oh, my God. We talk about raw dogging a lot in my household because Jeff's like, I think I could do it. I think like on like a flight to Australia, I think I could raw dog it. And I was like, of course you would. Of course he wants to do it.

Of course he wants to do it. Because here's a thing. If there's someone that I know that could do it, it would be my husband. Right. Because he would be able to just sit in his brain and like have like a beautiful experience for an 18 hour flight. And I would just be like, I just think about all the things that could go wrong. Like my anxiety, I can't be left in silence up inside of my brain. Why do you think I have

audiobooks on all the time? I need something to stimulate my brain. For me it'd be, any espresso, but don't know, for 18 hours. Sir, yes, sir, can you sing to yourself more quietly, please? Can you please stop? And my brain won't even give me the words of the song, so I'm so annoying. It's just, blah, yeah. Oh, me as brousel. So raw dogging the flight means no water, no food, and no entertainment, right? I didn't know about water and food. I think you can eat.

That's what I thought that it meant. I just meant like no books even. Yeah, no, I think it is just, yeah. I think that you can, well, I don't know if snacks are. I imagine water is. You can definitely drink water. That's not a part of broad time. It's about your mind, like, it's about being alone with your thoughts.

It's not about depriving yourself of like necessary nutrients. It's not to be alone with. their thoughts. It says no music, no films, snacks, or drinks. Wow. Wow. And in its most hardcore form, no bathroom breaks. Whoa. Whoa. I mean, I was out before, but that's absurd. Why would you, why would you? No sleep also. Yes, you can't sleep. I know that. You're not allowed to sleep for sure, because that's not, I mean, that's so cheating. Like, because I know some people who just, the people I hate the most in the world, because I'm so jealous of them who who literally just like, oh, is the plane about to stay off? Close their eyes and then open their eyes. when the plane lands.

That's me. That's my husband. I was awake for 0% of my flights and it was awesome. I wish. I am wide awake on a plane. No matter what time of day it is.

I'm just like, bing. And people are like, oh, take something so that you'll fall asleep. You think I don't? I try. But then what I do instead. And you just starts to be like, we didn't land on the moon.

Yeah. That's the problem. Is then it's like, you know, you become insane. You become Roseanne. And it's just everything is silent, everything is dark, and I'm just like, how do I get? How do I continue?

But this is coming from the person that has said on more than one occasion, I think I could do a silent retreat. Oh my God. And every time I say it, I love how people around me look at me as if I'm the dumbest woman alive because they, in the same vein when I say, I could get on a hot air balloon. And MJ, you're like, I've been on a hot air balloon and you do not want to be on one. And especially you know me and my anxieties and things like that. But I feel like the silent retreat, I could get to a point where you just, I mean, you got to just give in, right? You just got to be silent. But the problem with the writing, the problem with the treat is that you can't write anything.

So it is also paying for an experience to raw dog for a full weekend. And I just don't know. I mean, you can snacks and water, but obviously, but nothing else. I don't know if I could do it. Yeah. No, you shouldn't. But apparently, don't you meditate, hold it. I thought this is like a meditation thing.

I meditate for 10 minutes. That's a weekend of not speaking. It's like, we're more. I have a friend who does them and he loves them. That's the thing. I'm like you, Jackie. Like, I want to believe that I would be a person that does it. And maybe I will someday because it really does seem extremely intriguing to me,

especially as for us. I mean, we, you know, we talk into microphones for a living like, I mean, there are weeks that I go through. Like, like on a Saturday. especially after our big long, you know, Jack and stream, Twitch. dot TV, 4, slash Holdenader So every Friday. Coming out with us. Coming out with us.

And especially, like, I'm just so spent. Like, I just feel so devoid of the ability to communicate. Or actually, after these mornings, too, because we do so many podcasts, like, in a row. I'm like, I can't talk to you. I just don't. I can't. I have to dig deep to just have a conversation with the guy at the burger place who's pointing at me.

The mouth gets weird, man. Laughing at me. Yeah. Yeah. Pointing at you. going, look at that, who this idiot, how he's getting

the burger in the restaurant wear a shirt? Why is he all swearing? What? I can't be without a shirt at the burger place? Yeah, he loves to take up a shirt. See, this is, I feel like how

Mariah Carey reacts every time she's underneath overhead lighting. And yes, there is, now if you watched live page seven, you've heard the tale that Mariah Carey refuses

to be seen under any kind of overhead lighting. Now I will say, Mariah Carey did inspire me that inside of my own home, I also am very against the idea of overhead lighting and I live a life of lamps. This is a famously neurodiverse thing also. I want to, because my husband hates, has always hated overhead lighting and remembers, like,

as a child and a teenager, like, feeling, like, attacked by the lights. And also as a person who worked in really, like, bad overhead lighting is synonymous with shitty office jobs. office jobs, where everyone's or joan, yeah, or joan fabrics, don't you?

Yeah, the mall, I feel like I associate that lady with like a like a JC Penny experience. It does become associative for sure on all these things,

you know. Yeah, I feel like the sensory, I went through a little watching Mariah Carey speak. My first thought was, is Mariah Carey neurodivergent? And then my second thought was,

obviously she is. Obviously something's going on in there. My second. My second. thought was how accurate Jackie's impression. Every time I hear Mariah Carey speak, I am shocked by her speaking voice. I can't with the overhead lighting. Why did they do it to us? I shouldn't say us. It's not us. It's me. My big thought was I'm now inspired to write a horror movie starring Mariah Carey called Overhead Lighting. And it's just, and it's like it follows.

Overhead Lighting and Flats. I feel like we called it Overhead Lighting and Flats because there was also a clip of her out playing mini golf over the last weekend. and she had thigh-high stiletto boots on as she's trying, she's wearing, and I'm just like, I feel like someone wheeled her out, propped her up on the mini golf green, put the putter in her hand,

we're like, hold it like this, and then she did it, and then they put her back on her Silence of the Lambs-esque, pulley, what is it, one of those things called? A little crazy person trolley that you're, like,

crazy person trolley, yeah, that's more of what I'm thinking of. Yeah, crazy person trolley, which is the, PC term, by the way. Crazy versus troll. It's weird that that's the PC term. Crazy versus troll is the,

yeah, I think it's for the best. Yeah. C.PT. Get her out of here. But I love that, like, so it wasn't that, I think a lot of people wanted an actual, like her talking about the fact,

because I could never find an actual clip of her talking about how much she disliked overhead lighting. And we finally have it. She was on Las Casualtoresa's podcast, and she was talking about the overhead lighting. It was just like a random aside. and she had to get into how bad over headlighting is. And I just love her so much.

Like, I love, she's evil. I love how evil she is. I love that she is re-releasing. All I want for Christmas is you. She's pulling a tay. She's over here. She's like, I already, like, I already hit every, like, highest echelon of holiday music,

top 100 list you could ever do. And I believe this is the 30th anniversary. so she's re-releasing it just to like destroy them all again because you know the song is going to be everywhere. Yeah. No, I love her. Also, I think that the difference between, I mean, it does seem like Mariah Carey doesn't like the overhead lights for a sensory reason. As she is talking to, unless Caltreach, she's like, shut the lights.

It hurts me. But then also, she doesn't like it because of the way it makes her look, which I think is an additional piece that she has to only be photographed while looking. really good. And I think that's a great little piece to add to it. I love she says, it's hideous lighting. The sun is okay. If it's sunset, I'll gladly go outside and put a little

hat on or whatever and they'll be pretty because the sunlight caresses your skin. So the sun is okay. But then she says, but it's bad for you. The most beautiful version of lighting you could possibly have is not good enough for Mariah Carey

with natural sunlight. It's okay. It's okay. You know, like, if it's sunset, it's okay. I love, love. She should do audiobooks. Like, I love her voice. It's great. It's great.

I love her speaking voice. It is an absolute delight. I love her speaking voice. I'll just start doing them as Mariah Carey. Should I start doing that for Jackie's Book Club after we get through our Monster Ever After Jack, which I am so excited guys for our, I'm going to go ahead and say it. Thanksgiving, smut novella that I am going to be reading next for Jackie's book club and I'm really excited

for you guys. I don't know, I don't think we're going to bang a really big turkey, but like, who knows what's going to happen? I know it's monster smut. It is on the table. It's on the Thanksgiving table. And I say if it's on the table and it's got a hole, it's fucking season.

I'm doing Thanksgiving with you. That's why I really despise it. It's really not fun. I just, you know, it's gravy, gravy past the gravy, but like Lord knows how Jackie's making her gravy this year. Oh my God. There's been a lot going inside of my brain thinking about gravy, but I will say out of nowhere over the weekend, I was very, very busy, but I looked at Jeff and realized, it's almost turkey season.

And I will, not that, not that I'm trying to Mariah Carey Halloween right now, I am just saying that I am starting to prepare my freezer space so I can buy the turkeys. And I might inspire you to do the same. Get rid of some free, you know, make some room in the freezer so you can get the turkeys when they are on sale, so you can put them into the freezer. Get them when they're like $8 a turkey. And then, oh, you can feed your family for so long. This is very Martha Stewart of you to like be given tips, you know, given Jackie's tips before we even,

before Halloween has even come and gone. Yeah, I feel like Jackie's just the tips. You know, spooky lady too. Don't get to Thanksgiving me too soon. I know. And this must really break you because it hurts. It would be so much better for you if October was like a little separated from. It's too much.

Yeah. I feel like can we like at some point? I would love it. Like can we as a society pull apart the holidays and disperse them throughout the year? That would actually be really great for me. For sure. For sure. Because I'm so like, ugh.

Because now we're in it. Now it's like mid October. I don't even know how it became mid October. And I'm just like, man, it's just slam, slam. And then you blink and it's the end of January. And it's just it's that time of year, y'all. But I feel like I don't feel like I know it brings out my manic side. and it's like, I've got to get it all

I gotta do it all, I gotta be it all. And I'm like trying to work on my costume and I'm trying, and then in our like theme gal's chat yesterday, someone was like, what are we doing for Thanksgiving? I was like, guys, we like don't even have our Halloween plans. Right, right. Well, it's too much.

And everybody wants to start already with the organization. And, you know, maybe this is a personal thing that I'm going through right now. My mac and cheese is in the oven right now. It's just going to stay there until Thanksgiving. Don't. It's going to get too dry. I know, but I just can't anymore with it.

I have to just. No, you know what you do? Because after trick or treating night and Halloween night, whatever you end up doing, you come home, you're exhausted. And while you're lying in bed, that's when you start. I don't do this because I don't have my life together enough. But that's when what influencers start picking out the color palettes for their tables for the Thanksgiving and a paving.

Color palettes. You know, oh, this year we're doing this. Can you imagine a life where you're like, I need, and I'm not saying like, I'm saying, good for you. I would love a life of like, I need to work on my color. I know for Thanksgiving. I need to make sure. Everything looks good. But it, you know, and it's not like, but it's like, oh, look at the, because I follow way too many influencers on Instagram and they're like, this plate, you could throw it away, but it looks like fine fucking China.

But I'm like, ooh, I'll do that so I don't feel so trashy doing regular paper plates. But then it's too expensive. I'm not going to get those nice plates and then throw them away. No, you're going to get the regular paper plates. And yes, we're going to make extra trash. But what are you going to do? Have all those plates after all the plates of everything that you made? I don't think so.

Don't get me sorry. Then there's going to be some video that comes out of a dead turtle because of the stupid paper plate. And then we're not going to be able to use paper plates anymore. And then we got to, you know, and then it's a hole. And then we're using plastic plates. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Well, those are or they're reusable at least. And then I feel like we're bringing out our big.

dip cups and now next to our Thanksgiving meal we've got our big dip cup of Hidden Valley Ranch and yes I included to the ranch this article because I was I was doing some research early in the morning and I saw this article it says Burger King introduces a big dip cup of Hidden Valley Ranch that you compare with any sandwich for free so you can take your sandwich and here's the thing you all know I I love mayo. Y'all know I love ranch. There's something about me taking my big wopper and slamming it in a huge and not like, eight ounces of ranch. And go with me on this. I feel that it is different to take a little tiny dipping cup of ranch and kind of like pour a little bit on the sandwich. Like I feel like that is completely acceptable. Oh, of course. Get it all greasy. Get it all slopped. Put it on there.

With your liquids. Good for you. But dipping it into almost what looks like a gravy boat of ranch for your whopper actually disgust me. And by the way, like, this, also this really surprised me that this wasn't like dominoes or Pizza Hut doing this because everybody knows that everybody knows that the new dipping approach with ranch is pizza and rice. I was going to say, hold it loves to dip in ranch, so I thought you would be pro. Well, I love to dip a burger and ketchup, so I'm not even anti-dip burger. You're not anti-big dipper.

But dipping a burger and ranch is so crazy to me. Maybe like a chicken, bacon ranch sandwich, maybe I would see. But again, then you smeared on top this. Burger in Ranch. I also love the evolution of ranch. Ranch was a salad dressing at one point, right? Now it's just a full-on, like, dip your fast food straight into it. If you need to make some, if you somehow get the memo that this needs to be actually more unhealthy.

It's like a French dip, but with a big tub of ranch that is bigger than a whopper, which is very big. It's a redneck dip. It's a. American dip. Yeah, it's crazy. And I feel bad like casting a judgment about this because I feel like, you know, I love a good juicy Sambo. Like, I want it wet. I like it. Love it wet. I just, I want special, I want to use special gloves just to like handle it. Oh, yeah. I wanted to barely fit in my mouth because it's slip in inside. I'm like, uh, right? It's the front page news at hidden valley.com, the big dip. Finally, a ranch cup fit for a whopper. You need more rich. I've never, ever in a million years, heard of anyone being like, I can only eat my

Whopper slathered and dipped in ranch. Like, I've never heard of that. I've heard of that with pizza a million times. People love to get a giant cheese pizza. Also, I'm sure it's delicious on a burger. I love, I'm down with ranch and a burger. I don't usually do it. Ranch.

It's like ketchup. It's like it just makes, you know, and I'll admit that. Like, yeah, I'm ridiculous with ketchup. I love it. You are really ridiculous with ketchup. Holden likes it. an insane amount of ketchup. And you know I'm anti-chup, so it's really difficult for me.

And, Holden, I wish that you would think about me and how I get triggered by your chuppies. I get it. It made it even worse. I think it's, like, now I'm realizing, I think it's the ketchup that's given me the lingy madness. And it's all connected. Well, then actually, for your wife, I'd say maybe more ketchup. Maybe more, but I only want to do it to trees. Oh, yeah, that is, I think that, again, you should probably talk to your wife about this.

I think this is something you might need to uncover or process. Or should I talk to mom talk about it? Will it survive? Will it survive this? It's time for the celebrity conspiracy. Hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Do we have a mom talk conspiracy?

We have mom talk conspiracies. Plural. Let's do it. We got a couple of mom talk conspiracies. Oh, thank God. This one comes in from Danielle. He writes, hi Holden. Let me get right to it since this news.

is going to be earth-shattering. I want page seven to break it before CNN does. I have been thinking a lot about the secret lives of Mormon wives. Haven't we all? Me too. Which I watched with horror and delight alongside the rest of America last week. I cannot stop thinking about the volume of soda and cream. These thin white women drink in a day.

Although, can I just really quickly say it kind of makes me want to go to one of these soda places and try one of these sodas? Well, we have to be drinking, though. I know. I know we shouldn't be drinking them, but like, I am intrigued. Yeah, they drink it out of styrofoam. Again, it's just, it's shit I did in high school. I would do that. There are just high, adult high, Mormons just create adult high schoolers.

I think that's my theory. I actually think that's very, I like, the reason I like watching Mormons on social media is because it reminds me of high school. Yeah. Like, they have these, like, vast social networks and they just hang out in soda. Yeah. They do all these, they have to do all these like pure social things, but some of them do secret, bad girl, bad boy things.

Like, drink a little bit. of liquor out of a flask at a pool party. Anyways, I can't handle it. But I cannot stop thinking about the soda and cream and cream these thin white women drink all day in a day and have come to the conclusion that the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives was created by Big Soda in all caps

to increase soda sales and get America hooked back on sugar. Not to mention the trickle down to Big Pharma for subsequent health effects. I will say I am not a soda drinker and I think that this is the most insane conspiracy of all because watching the show, the fact that I just said I

to try that soda. I kicked soda a long, long time ago, and this person is so right. It made me want a soda so badly. Yeah, I think about getting, yeah, especially like the way they do it where they go, it's like ice cream, going to the ice cream place. They get it like really specific.

Yeah, with all these pumps. I have seen a lot of people online trying dirty Dr. Pepper's, etc., and I can't help but think there's some other puppet mastery behind the metaphorical curtain. Also, not for nothing, but there's absolutely no need for laughing gas, for getting Botox. Very good point.

No need for it. These women have birthed soccer teams so they can't handle tiny Botox needles. It is not that bad. And I will say also, do you want to be laughing while it's happening

while they're trying to inject your face? I'm just throwing that out there. They so don't need the gas. I just realized that. Like, they so don't need the gas. As someone that I am scared of everything and I don't need any of that stuff,

I'm just saying. It's just Botox. I mean, I know it's not. painless, but like, you don't need full on laughing gas for it. But, like, I was sober in high school, but, you know, I feel like not everybody is like this, especially if you were in recovery or a straight edge, but like I was just a sober person who hadn't yet begun to get interested in getting intoxicated. But they're so intoxication curious, you know, they're like, this is our one time to be high.

You know, it's the same with the soda. They're like, this is our one vice. Yeah. Like, they're so vice curious. They're vice crazy. That's why I'm going to Walmart at one in the morning and getting a bunch of whipped cream cans because we're in high school and couldn't get weed that weekend, you know? Oh my God, a dirty Dr. Pepper is half and half coconut syrup and Dr. Pepper.

More syrup in the Dr. Pepper. And I love Dr. I mean, I'll try it. Apparently, it's delicious. I love Dr. Pepper. Anyway, love you three and hope you have a magical, mystical day. I love Danielle, absolutely. But we have one more. This one comes in from Hema, who writes, or Jima, but I'm going to go with Hymai, I

who writes, hey Holden, I've been a long time listener since the Roundtable Day as Holdenators, and wondered if you read this out whether you could give a shishish, shout out to my podcast, absolutely, Conversation Street, which is a Coronation Street podcast. Anyway, on to my conspiracy. We all enjoyed the antics of the secret lives of Mormon wives, but I have a spooky season conspiracy for you. I believe this seemingly harmless reality television show is a government-sponsored sci-op, meant to drive people to lose their minds. How destabilizing the world population

by convincing them to fill their drinks with unreasonable amounts of sugar and subjecting them to mind-numbing entertainment designed to prevent them from realizing the truth about the New World Order. Why do I believe this, you ask? Well, the answer is hidden in plain sight. Mom Talk. Sounds like Montauk.

That's right, the Mon Talk Project, which is a series of government conspiracies and state-sanction psychological warfare techniques. Usually these projects revolve around things like time travel and faking the moon landing or contacting extraterrestrials. But I believe that in this case, they've turned their attention to a more sinister aim. While we're all yucky it up watching Whitney get her bitch on, the government is poisoning our minds to make us more susceptible and pliable to their evil intentions. It's obvious. The Mom Talk project is going to drive us all insane.

Thanks for reading my email, Hima. And again, Conversation Street. And shout out to you for getting a... free promo into this podcast. That is a very clever, uh, him. And, uh, what do you guys think? Dude. That is,

that is, I believe. I very, I mean, it certainly drove me to madness in a way that I didn't expect, but I will. I, I, of the both of them, while I love them both, I genuinely think that this is something to do with the soda. Yeah. I think it could. Yeah, I think the first one's a little more possible than the second one.

for sure. Although mom talk does sound like Montauch and you are correct. But yeah, definitely big soda. I'm looking at you for sure because I'm also craving very... I've just never even thought about like adding things other than a root beer float which I weird, but that's so weird because I have been I was like, hey, you know what we should do with Winnie

this weekend? We should do root beer floats because I love them and maybe that's why. That's the only soda thing where I like add stuff and go oh like I don't do you I don't add anything. I just, I drink Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, and Cherry Coke are like kind of my three. Like if I go to five guys, I either get a Dr. Pepper or a Cherry Coke, depending on how I'm feeling. I just, but I don't add cream.

They're all like, you know, wellness people. And they all, all of their, I don't watch a lot of mom talks. And I know it's mostly like the cute dancing and stuff. But all the products that they do were like this clean granola bar for your kids, this clean facial product. and everything's clean, clean, clean. And then they're just pouring cream into their sodas, you know. And I say this without judgment. I don't care whether things are clean or not.

I don't think that really means anything when we're talking about food. And so I do not care that they're drinking all that soda, but the wellness plus drinking many gallons of soda a day thing is interesting. It's interesting. And maybe they're all being sponsored by big soda, and that would make a lot of sense. But also on top of the fact, that it would make sense for them to be sponsored by Big Soda because of the culture that they live in.

I mean, obviously it's a huge part of their lives. So now I ask the world will Big Juice ever survive this? Because I think now we have to aim our sights on that industry. You mean just like the fact that smoothies are very, very expensive, like the end juices? Yeah, and you're hungry like an hour later? I hear a tale of the Arawan smoothies and juices and stuff. And I can't imagine my...

I think my problem is I don't. I hate to be so like, they're expensive. And I hate to expensive. I just, but they don't fill me up. So why am I going to spend so much money and I'm not going to be full up? And I want to be full. That's kind of how that all fell apart for me is I started to realize like I'll get a jamba juice. It'll be delicious.

And I'll just be, but I'll just be right back to needing some kind of actual meal an hour later. And I know a lot of people that are like huge proponents of making them in their home. And I was like, but how do you keep all the stuff to me? make the stuff, but I know people that are adamant, like, juicers and smoothie people. You can, all you got to do is have all this stuff and buy this $700 machine, and then that's it. But I know you would save a lot of money in the long run because the juices are so expensive. Am I boring myself right now? Maybe I am.

You can use frozen beer. You're a victim of a big juice. Thank you. It's unbelievable. It's difficult for me, guys. I just want to shout out frozen fruit. If you're a parent, you're trying to feed your kids, frozen fruit is just as healthy as regular fruit. fed lies. No, I put frozen food

and canned fruit as well. I put frozen fruit like on my yogurt, granoli bowls, but again, that's like a hell thing, but it fills me the hell up and I put a bunch of shit in it to make me really full. Yeah, anyway, sorry, maybe that's just me and I try to think about, oh,

the liquid calories I consume now and I save it for my coffee because if I don't have my coffee, I will kill. And I will kill if I don't get into this list. Oh! Who's on the list? Check A, got to have that list. Unbelievable facts about pop music and the weirdos who make it.

If you thought Wu-Tang was for the children, you should see what Luda is up to. Ludacris founded Kid Nation. Kid Nation's mission is the betterment of kids' physical and mental health. The TV show. Not to be confused with the two thousand. Not TV show. I put the kids in the desert. I at first thought it was the show before I read the underneath it.

I was like, what? But it does. No, this is also, this is, no, it's the nice kidnation, not the bad kidnation. Because apparently they use music videos with kids wrapping positive pieces of advice to provide a fun, safe, and educational media platform. And just to clarify, the Kid Nation we were laughing about is that there was this like horrendous reality show back when they didn't have a very good oversight over mistreatment of especially like child performers. And they just like filled this weird desert. town with kids of various ages. They all had to fin for themselves a la Lord of the Flies.

And it was very not above board. And we look back on it in horror. What doesn't kill them makes them stronger, Holden? Well, one did drink bleach and almost died. You know, well, maybe they should have some guidance or something. But I guess Kesha didn't need any guidance because Kesha had a SAT score of 1500. Back in school, Kesha scored a nearly perfect 1500 on her SAT. However, she chose to pursue a musical career rather than attend college.

I feel that Keshe's another one of those that puts off this like, I'm a party girl. But obviously, she is much more put together and much smarter than you would assume. Now, this kind of makes me a little sad. Eminem wouldn't let Weird Al parody lose yourself in music video form. Eminem let Weird Al put parody the song in Couch Potato, but refuse to let him release it as a single or release a music video for it in order to protect his image. Yeah. And I feel like that doesn't ruin your image, Eminem.

I don't understand why you wouldn't. I feel like it's only good for you, but you know. Yeah, I always love the Nirvana thing where they were like, oh my God, we finally made it. We're out to the parody of art song. It introduces such a mark of honor, but like a coolio. But yeah, like in our generation, it introduced a bunch of kids to the music that they, like, I wasn't otherwise listening to Gangsters Paradise.

but that was my introduction to it. Coolio was also weird about it historically and I think that there was just especially that time in hip hop that was such like an air you had to hold up of like seriousness and like intimidation and stuff that they were just weird about toxic masculinity in other words

is like really rampant in the music but anyways. Well I mean Eminem did work with another person Dido. Eminem Stan uses and I know that uses the English thing Dido's single thank you as the chorus between his dark verses. But I didn't, I never saw the music video for Stan. And the eight minute video featured Dido as Stan's girlfriend.

And it helped her album No Angels sell 21 million copies. Nice. So I remember Dido? About Dido. Oh man. I see my problem is I always think about Dido every Christmas because she is on the, um, oh God, the chubby girl with Hugh Grant. Love Actually.

She's on the Love Actually soundtrack. The chubby girl. The chubby girl. That's the most thing you can think of as the problematic portion of that baby. How hot that girl. But she's the chubby one. Would we call her chubby? Was she the graduation song too that everybody had to either listen to that or

that was vitamin C. Vitamin C. As we go on, we remember. No, she did. I would red white flag above my door because I'm in love always would be. She sang white flag everybody, but also there, I think she had another couple of big hits at the time. Now, this goes out to you, Holden. I don't know if you knew this.

Grimes wrote a song about Dark Souls. Cool. The musician has written a song designed to be listened to while playing the notoriously difficult video game. That's girl. I'll have to go listen to that. There was also, you know, because I was connector with Elon Musk. Elon Musk hilariously, like, posted his Dark Souls build. At one point, be like, look at this.

And it was like, everyone was like, that build makes no sense. You were way over-encumbered. It was just so funny for a gamer standpoint, but like, the fuck are you doing, bro? That's so funny. Oh, that it was just too, that it was too difficult for him to you? Like, what do you mean?

I'm sorry, I'm so, I don't know what that means. He had a build that made, he had, like, items equipped and shit that just made no sense. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. He just had, he was, like, showing off all of his equipment and stuff that he had, and it was just like, what is this?

We don't know, you clearly don't know how to, like, told me how to play this game. I mean, you know what to me? Because it's very specific to, It's a very nerdy thing to make fun of, but it's... I understand now because Baxter Braglesbig, big, yes, he is unencumbered, but yes, he always has his chain armor on just in case. And maybe Baxon Braglesbeg is not the smartest man on the journey,

but man, he is ready for a fight. And yes, I'm talking about Holden and I's Dean. Yeah, and Blarg, the Halfork cannot wield such heavy armor. He is a druid and only has, like, lighter leather armor. Because... Blar gets really scared, too, MJ. It's very cute. Blark defeated a mimic chess last night, MJ.

I mean, did Blark do it or did Baxter do an interesting perspective, I guess. My bad. Yeah, I was meant to say Baxter. Wow. I couldn't get into the tower room because Baxter's too big. This is, what am I talking to my husband? I can't escape fantasy talk anywhere I go. Fantasy, we live in fantasy.

And also if you enjoy fantasy, go check out my new show. we have got our Romantasy. LPN Deep Dive is just starting to come out this week on Crescent City. Nice. So if you enjoy fantasy, go hang out with me and Natalie over on LPN Romantasy Deep Dives, Crescent City. It's more of a murder mystery than it is a smut book necessarily. Oh my God, the fantasy building. Anyway, the inventor of Fender guitars didn't know how to play them.

Despite designing the telecaster and Stratocaster, and inventing the solid body electric bass guitar, Lawrence Leonidas, Leo Fender, was an engineer, not a musician. That's genuinely fascinating. Right? I can't imagine, like, having such, like, groundbreaking designs for guitars and not knowing how to play them. Yeah, but that's an engineer for you.

They just know how to make the thing work the best for people to play. Yes. And, oh, but it's. is in a weird world for Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift got beat out by a bunch of birds on a top 50 list. Apparently, an album of the sounds of endangered birds called Songs of Disappearance

was number three on Australia's chart of top 50 albums beating out Taylor Swift. And then she released, she wanted to take those birds down. Re-release it. Re-release it. She's not a girl's girl, and she's not a bird's bird. And she needed to re-release it. Re-release again and re-release again because she needed to beat those birds.

She's been haunted by those birds ever since, and that's why she won't let Billy Elish or Olivia Rodriguez or Sabrina Carpenter have number one. She's also, I have to get this ASAP. She's just announced her ERA's tour book. Oh, exclusive at Target. It's a big coffee table book. What is it? Is it just pictures?

It's the looks probably, Jackie. I thought maybe you'd be dead to me today, like in some level with your... Was this it? With the anti-Linghi earlier and all this kind of stuff. I mean, I'm very pro-Lingy. I just don't. I think I'm anti-chimp Lingy. Okay, yeah, yeah, Tonka Lingy.

But, you know, you were, okay, so, but you're dead to me now. So, official. This is it. I'm sorry. Hold on. It's an official, Taylor Swift, Ares Torbuck, and you're officially dead to me. It is a beautiful, it's a beautiful masterwork of imagery and written word for your coffee table. or too honestly, I think you can wrap it in some fur.

256 pages. Yeah, it's going to be amazing. I'm so excited for this. My dicks, hard, and everything. That's a lot of pages. I just, of stills, is there, like, are there interviews inside of it? Like, is there anything else, or is it just pictures?

Like, is it just? I think I have to come over to your place right now and, like, attack you. Is that okay? I think I need to be beaten up today. I think I'm asking to be beaten up today. And sometimes, I think I'm just so confused. Like, why are you guys upset?

that there's a lot of pay, like, oh, I'm sorry there's not less enjoyment to be had with the, the consistent re-releasing where she always needs to be at the top of all the lists. And honestly, Holden, I'm gonna say it. It's annoying. Yeah. What are you fuck? Yeah, I've said it.

I have said it this day. And this is coming from the bitch that's about to start listening to folklore and Evermore on a repeat because it's the fall season. MJ, can you tell Jackie that I'll no longer be speaking to her, which is going to make the podcast really fucking challenging to get through? MJ, can you tell Holden that I hope he enjoys spending, I'm going to guess what, $70 on his book of stills that he's just going to leave on a coffee table somewhere?

MJ, can you tell Jackie it is a reasonable as fuck $40 for this book? $40. Oh my God, for a hard bag. I'm still trying to figure out what's in the book. I'm reading articles about the book. What's in the book? What could possibly... What's in the words?

What's in the words? I can't speak. Over 500 images including never-before-seen performance photos from every era. I could sleep. I'm asleep. It's so good. Well, don't... Okay, fine.

If you come over, you're not fucking allowed to absolutely... I'm not allowed to look at it. Of course not. I'm not allowed to look at it. You're talking so much shit. Oh, I'm gonna look at it. Chapel's an idiot. I'm gonna go, was this worth $40?

I mean, did you keep open? I'm just going to keep opening it. Was this worth $40? Was this worth $40? That's what I'm gonna do. side of books, she'll be like, like, I guess like, I'm not voting for like, Trump like, but like I guess I'll like vote for a comment. Wow, you're saying $40 for that.

Yeah. You're saying thanks you regret, Holden. You're upset. You're upset. Sorry. You're right. And why are you taking out on chapel and why are you putting them against each other? I wanted to hurt you because I wanted to find a way to hurt you because you're hurting me so

much right now. Everybody go to your corners. Jackie needs to take some space and Holden needs to take some space. MJ, do you feel like you're around your kids right now? Is this the kind of things they fight about? Taylor Swift, coffee table book? Yeah, do they fight about one person being completely insane and disgusting? And the other person having just like a reasonable enjoyment.

What are in a very different way? I've read a book about this. What you're supposed to do is neutrally summarize each kid's point of view. I see one podcast host who thinks that the Taylor Swift book will be very good. I see another podcast host who thinks that the Taylor Swift book is unnecessary. So one is right. Exactly. I see one podcast host is very right. Right.

The other one is just clearly wrong. Very, very wrong. Yes. Yeah. We both see that. That's... Crazy. 40 bucks is like a steal. I would pay $300 for this.

You know what's a steal? $100,000 because the WAPP music video spent $100,000 just on COVID testing. Wow. That's cool. That is like during... Yes, that is all like $100,000 because you got to remember. This was during like when everything was really crazy. So the amount where it was like it wasn't something that was just easy to be tested yet.

Every single person on the shoot had to get tested but do like the big tests every day. Dude, so worth it though. Because remember that was really the first thing that gave us a fucking smile. Yes. Yeah. Because even Tiger King like did it give us a smile? No. No.

This gave us like a genuine like happy day for everybody. Yeah. That was $100,000 well spent. It certainly was. And last but not least, the youngest person to appear on the billboard chart was two days old. Jay-Z included a clip of his daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, crying at the end of glory, adding an official credit for the hours old infant. Wow. Nuts.

Two days old, y'all. That's my list. All right. There you go. Well, I think I'm going. Line! Items! Oh, we can't see them.

This dumb person thinks a really well-crafted book for a. tour is going to suck and be bad, even though it's extremely reasonably price. You mean beautiful? Jackie Zabrowski? What a perfect goddess of a person that is going to take that $40 and I'm going to have so much more fun.

You saw what? You're not going to spin it out that's better. Get a thing of edibles and a fast food meal. Yeah, I'm going to need that to get through being around you from now. It's all you need. Edibles and fast food.

The one named permanent A-lister must really be worried because she is buying up everything she can that has interviews with her or about her. One name. Madonna. She's in a lot of pictures with a lot of bad men and everyone's starting to take notice.

She was a huge deal. Your mother was probably obsessed with her because that was when she was at her height. She had a magazine. But not Madonna. Not Madonna. Not a musician, yes, Oprah, which is interesting.

Every time someone becomes badmanned, Oprah's always hugging him a picture. And of course, lately it's the Diddy stuff, but yeah, it is kind of funny. But Oprah has hugged everyone. But she's like Oprah. I feel like, yeah, that's the thin. I just feel like, you know, she's, you know, I feel like I don't, I don't think Oprah's evil. She's not evil. Is she? No, I don't think so. This is, I also have seen this like Oprah with Ditty. Guilty by association. Oprah has been, has photographed, taken photographs with every famous person. And at If you've ever been important on any level, Sands cancellation, you have...

10% of those people are now openly evil. Yes. And a good, at least 10 to 20% or are quietly evil. Completely, totally. But we'll see. Notting, nutty. Oh, no. Things don't seem to be going well for the A-list rapper.

I say that because they are currently shilling crypto to make a few bucks off of her fans. I'll say her. Her fans. interesting. A list rapper. A list rapper, lady. Nikki? It sounds like something Nikki would do. It does sound like something Nikki would do. It's actually someone who is feuded with Nikki in the past. It's not. Cardi. Cardi baby. We were just talking about her. Well, yeah. I will say Cardi B speaking a wop. She's been.

Or Wap. Sorry. Cardi B's Wap meme coin launch stirs controversy as crypto investigators link the wallet address to past scams and rugpole projects. Whap, meme coin. Yeah. No. I feel that like something's going on with Cardi B over there. Like she had the latest kid and I think that like she's separated right now.

But then like after her 32nd birthday, she just like put out this like she's like, I'm never going to drink ever. And one of those. She's having a what is happening over it? Like I feel like it's something's happening. Yeah. Offset's not been seen in quite some time with her. Yeah, I think her and Offsett's relationship is pretty rocky,

and obviously it's not the first time they've broken up, but it seems like that. But also, yeah, she like just had a kid, right? Right, yeah. I mean, I was not sane after just having a kid. Yeah, and especially on your third, I imagine, like, at that point, too, where you're just like, I don't even know what's happening anymore.

Right, right. And she's like a very smart person, and the crypt, she seems too smart to do this crypto thing, which is why I worry that she, maybe she's not well. But also, obviously, plenty of very smart people do crypto. Yeah, maybe it's a Holdenator's Ho kind of situation. Yeah, yeah, maybe she got hacked. Yeah, Hocoin is, by the way, we're getting Hocoin coming. Finally, on my Instagram, old and new, Hocoin is taken over the world. Yeah, she posted about it on Twitter last week.

And I did go look and confirm. And I always go, oh, like, every time I see this, I get sad and disappointed with someone I like. She's really smart. Oh, my God's really smart. had a child on September 7th. Damn. Like that. Honestly, postpartum-wise, she is not normal. Damn. I'm not saying I can't announce that anyone else is well or unwell mentally,

but like you're not normal. I thought I saw party footage of her like really recently and she looks like spry. It's kind of insane. Yeah. It's like she was like being a bartender, right? At like a party? Am I crazy? Did I just see that?

No, she's out. Yeah. Yeah. She's out. She just had her birthday and she's been, she's been out, which I have no problem with, but I just feel like, again, mental, like, hormones are not normal. Yeah.

Knowing, knowing that length of time from having a kid, it's like just mind-boggling to me. And also not to be like this, because I know this is probably a really creepy thing to say, their kids are so fucking cute. Oh, God, I can't. No, that's fine. You can think they're cute. Yeah, that's fine. They're just so.

And like, I know that they, you should probably shouldn't just like use your kids as little dress-up dolls. But, um, see, I, I would never, I could never. imagine having a life that I would do this, but like seeing the little kids like all like blinged out in crazy, crazy gear. I think, you know, it's a move and I kind of think it's fun. Hey, whatever will spark joy. Exactly. In my opinion, very dark time. Yeah. Of child, of having a child. Do it. Just do whatever you got, whatever you can to make it fun and nice. I agree. I think she really, I think she's really sweet with her.

kids. She seems to really have fun with them. She seems to like spend a lot of time with them. She enjoys them. But it also goes to show that like her brain is just like of what like you can tell I think of what maybe how her childhood was. Like for instance, when culture turned four for her for her birthday, she threw her this crazy party. But then she also just gave her 50,000 in cash. And man, if there's something of four year old loves. It's 50K in cash. 50k in cash. I just think that that is such a fun little factoid of like, her being like, yeah, because like everybody loves cash. And you're not wrong. And I know that $50,000 is like, hopefully they put it into an account for her and then she's, you know, but I just, I find it interesting. Yeah. I find it interesting as well. Speaking of interesting, I'm going to flip the script on you guys a little bit. You like me now?

Like you're against the table, the coffee table book? Oh, you're so fucking dead to me. As soon as this podcast is over, I'm sorry. so just, I'm, I'm going to take all the pictures. Good luck, because we have two more shows to do. I'm taking all the pictures of you that I have up all over my walls. No, not the collages. Yes.

Not our collages, please. And I'm pissing on putting them in. Please, no. But he's got to be listening to the vitamin C graduation stuff when he doesn't. I'm crying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be crying. So I'm going to give you four names up top.

And I'm going to give you the blind. And I want you to try, I want you to give your best guests to know who this, who this, uh, who this, uh, applies to you because the blind is just so fun and sometimes they give me multiple names and usually I ignore those because I want a definitive person. Right.

This is a fun blind and I want to talk about it with you guys. So I'll say the four names up top as I want you to keep them in your mind while I read you the blind. Al Pacino, Nicholas Cage, Joe Pesci, Robert De Niro. Okay, Pachino. Page. Pachino, De Niro.

And is this, are we trying, or is this like a fuck, Mary, fuck, kill. Oh. You're trying to figure out who you think. It is. It's inconclusive, but you're trying to figure out who this blind applies to. Okay. Mac and cheese is what the title of this blind is. Okay. This permanent A-list actor is a multiple Oscar winner slash nominee. If you go back to his house, do not eat any macaroni and cheese that is offered to you. Actually. Is this like you? Is this holding why you're already making the mac and cheese for Thanksgiving? I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna find, I know where you live. What do you wait talking about? Oh yeah, you know where I live.

I see the rib you're in on the soapball. You know where I live. I work at your house. If you go to his house, do not eat any macaroni and cheese. This offered to you. Actually, back in the day, it was spaghetti and meatballs. For whatever reason, whenever you wanted to split up with a girlfriend, he would invite them over for some Italian food,

and they would end up with horrible food poisoning. Invariably, it would be so bad. They would go to the hospital and he would send them flowers and then just never talk to them again. It was all so very strange. Pacino, Cage, Peschi, De Niro. Who do you think it is? I'm going to say, Pacino.

Pacino is crazy. And I feel like, all right, you think of all four of those men. All right, but here's the thing. I don't think Nick Cage would cook. And I'm also thinking about who in this situation would cook. Italian. So I feel like, so you go to one of the Italian boys. I think this is definitely a dirty dog kind of situation.

Pesci? I'm going to go Pesci. I'm going to go. It seems like something to take a little trick from home alone, you know. You are, it could be a Pesci, but my problem is that like Joe Pesci of those guys is like my number one. And he's like, seems like a good guy. I know, but I think you've got to look past that and think about like who would actually cook their own food. Who would actually laugh at something like this?

Who would kind of have a chortle? Who would be capable of poisoning, food poisoning someone? But that's why I feel like the poisoning thing. Maybe the poison is really where it loses me with Pesci. Because like everything you hear about Joe Pesci is that he's just the sweetest. Yeah, yeah. No, you're right. You're right. Joe Pesci would never. And we know a friend that, like, specifically worked with him. So it's like, I know that he's the sweet. So I don't think he would do that.

Right. Okay. If Jackie's going Pacino, I'll go De Niro. All right. I love this for us, but we're never going to know. We'll never know. Well, I'll see. Maybe we're going to follow up a like Tom Cruise Fischro. Or maybe we'll get like a second blind to like confirm it or something and maybe that'll... Because if you think about it though, Al Pacino and De Niro have both recently become daddies again, right? They both used to be good dad. They're also. Extremely old.

De Niro is a restaurateur. Right. He's got his restaurants down and tribeck out. You know what? You know what? MJ? I think it's De Niro. Okay.

I think I'm getting on your side. I think it could be a denierre. Interesting. Because Pachino, I wonder. And I can't remember if he's a otherwise bad man. I feel like Pachino is so busy. Like, ban Pachino. Right.

That he's probably not thinking about like, oh, like I feel like he would definitely just never call somebody. Right. You know what I mean? He's like too crazy to poison. someone. I feel like De Niro is the, I, is calculated enough. Exactly. You need somebody who has their life together enough to plan to poison someone. And I don't think that is Pachito because he's too far out there. And I think you're right, Joe Pesci's too good of a man. And we just take it the cage off the table because we don't think that he can cook, which I love. So I think it's got to be

De Nore. Right. I'm assuming he doesn't cook, although I did just see, I looked up Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro didn't recognize Kelly Rippa hours after doing her show. So maybe. Maybe he's just out there making, you know, spaghetti meatballs and just like randomly just doing this to other women being like, oh, I thought, oh, I'm sorry. I thought I thought I was trying to break up with you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't eat those spaghetti meatballs. Well, there you have it. That's my blinds.

I can see again. And I think that's our show. Welcome back Holden's eyes, but not his brains because that's somewhere off with the Taylor Swift coffee table. I can't wait. I can't wait. Thank you guys so much. You're not speaking to his brains. You're only speaking to his eyes.

His eyes right now because his brains don't exist anymore. Thanks to see the many photos. Never before seen. Over 500, apparently. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of page 7. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can come hang out with me over on Instagram at Jack That Worm. MJ and I, we play The Sims on Wednesdays.

You should come hang out over there. Twitch. On TV forward slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. Or, oh, my God, if you want to find out if someone is the bitch. in your life. Check out my new show. Who's the bitch? I got a lot of new shows, guys. Who's the bitch on LPN? Check that out. I do that with Kara Clank, host of the That's Mess Up SVU podcast. Come hang out with us every other Monday on

LPN TV's Twitch as well as brand new Crescent City dropping starting this week. If you want to hear my voice, you can find it somewhere. Absolutely. Again, that is the Ares, the official Ares Tour. book available November 29th at Targets everywhere. And it's also the releasing the, finally the full anthology version of the Tortured Poets Department in vinyl and CD on that day at Target. Also, the heirs tour began in March 23, 2020, it will end this December. Wow, we're just waiting.

Honestly, I think she's ready for it to end, I would assume, as well. And Twitch.tv.4. slash Holdenators. So every Friday, Jack with the Holdies, 6 p.m. E.S.T. We're going to have a party this week for sure, because Jackie had to miss last week for a glorious wedding, which is very sweet. And also, also, patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast, Jackie's book club, weekly bonus episodes, all sorts of amazing things over there. And buff the buff. And buff and the buff at the $10 layer. We are ripping through season three and loving every second of it. So check.

So many good. So many positive things are said about our Patreon because we really deliver the content goods. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Page 7podcast at gmail.com. That's going to be my last one. Oh, that's not going to be my last one actually. Page 7 podcast at Gmail.com. Please send your conspiracy theories.

Let us know what you think, who you think the poison mac and cheese came from. Also, also, also, last but not least, please, love of God, I have broken a thousand followers. Yeah. On my sad for your new Instagram. but I need so many more. Drop everything you're doing right now and go to Instagram. Holdenaders Ho with 2 O's.

Please follow me. I'm trying to get back to the 25,000 followers I once had on there. I am at around 1,500. This is going to be a long climb. You're going to get it back there. I appreciate it. If you drop everything right now

and you don't even have a stop list on the podcast, just go on Instagram right now and follow Holdenators Hoa with 2 O's. That's it for me. MJ? My name is MJ and I'm MJ K LK. at on Instagram.

Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us. Get in your shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com, but we ain't got none today, so I'm just sending you a little bit of love. Everybody, have a great week. And get those spooky movies in, y'all. Hell yeah. Bye.

Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. Thank you.