Page 7 - Ep. 557: Season Of The Witch

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

This week on Page 7 Jackie's beltin' to MJ and Holden the totally not dated Destiny Child's song "Bug a Boo" that's been stuck in their head, Holden went with networks own editor Rob and the coulrophobia riddled Jake Young (WizBru and THE FLOOR) to see blood drenched evil demon clown led Terrifier 3, and Jackie's trying out some Fidget Puddy, aka SLIME! Jackie's true Halloween nightmare came to life with MISSING HOT DOGS at Costco and Knott's Scary Farms. Timothée Chalamet lookalike competition in Washington Square Park and attracts more than just admirers and it's THE POLICE, as well as possibly births an upcoming Jeremy Allen White lookalike competition, and a comment from MJ which leads to some Rat Boy vs Weasel Man discourse.  Tom FishFucker Cruise is trending and THEY'RE TRYING TO ERASE PAGE 7 FROM BEING THE TRUE WHISTLEBLOWERS!! Jackie's chompin' at the wishbone for that Turkey Time as November approaches, Mariah Carey gets told NOT YET in her get out and vote promo, Stevie Nicks gave an amazing interview to Rolling Stone in which she told Katy Perry to STAY OFF THE INTERNET while giving Chappell Roan a warning to not burn themselves out early due that INSANE schedule. Speaking of Chappell, they called out that photographer AGAIN, this time at Olivia Rodrigo's movie premiere, and in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Are Vin Diesel and The Rock Secret Agents (But NOT Lovers)?!?! On The List - Celebrities who say they've lived in real haunted houses and it's got MJ asking some questions, Blindz and MOOOORE ON THIS HAUNTING HALLOWEeEeeEEeEEeEN!!! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I was sending an email to our amazing engineer April. Hi, April, I love you. And I was apologizing. Of course I was. It was a professional email. Of course, she was apologizing for something. And I was like, sorry for being a bugaboo. And of course, I linked to the classic Destiny's Child song, Bugaboo.

But then in listening to it, not only has been stuck in my head, but it is so dated, you make me want to throw my page out the window. Tell MCI to cut the phone poles, break my lease so I can move. Because you're a bugaboo. a bugaboo. I want to put your number on the call block. Have AOL make my email stop. Wow.

Because you're bugaboo. You're bugging what, you're bugging who. You're bugging me. Wow. A.O. Wow. And it used to make me feel that it is the AOL, the MCI to cut the phone pulls. I forgot, but also I also forgot how cool it made me feel when I would sing the, you're

bugging what, you're bugging who you're bugging me and don't you see it ain't cool. And I thought like I was Beyonce when I was listened to the CD. So welcome to page seven guys. Yeah, I'm Jack Anse over here. And Jack Anse, I don't know. Jack Onsey kind of scares me. Yeah, that's, I'm not. Like a Jackie Seance.

Yeah, it sounds like a seance. It's very culty. I'm scared to your fans already, you know. A Jackie Seance. I'm going to put an away message on my AOL and just block it out. I'm just terrified. Oh my God. It's going to be.

be the lyrics from Don't Fear the Reaper. And then everybody hits you up and goes, are you okay? That's what I also. Except for me, it was bright eyes lyrics. So the people would be like, are you, are you okay?

Like, actually are you okay? No, I'm sitting here crying, writing in my live journal, you pieces of shit. What do you think I'm doing? Yeah. Always crying, always upset. The Jackie Zabrowski story.

And mine, I always put on the village people so people would hit me, I'd be like, are you gay? Are you gay? Are you gay? And I'm like, I'm fine. I just wanted to. You fucking wish.

You're awayful six in all caps. It's fun to stay at the Y and the C eight. No. Oh, no. Why this song? This is just not charming. It's not interesting. I have a cute story about the word bugaboo.

I think it'll be cute to you guys, which is that one of, and also it involves crying. I might be bugaboo about it. One of the times that we were on a call before we started recording. You know, I would say, what do you think? One out of eight times one of us is crying. Sure. Oh, yeah, sure. One of eight, it's a good.

Yeah. Once every couple months. Yeah. Once every so often we have a little... That's not too crazy. A little cry-sish. Cry-sish before we start recording. And I don't even remember what I was crying about.

But I'm not usually the most cry forward of the three of us. But I'm not the least. For everyone, I'm sure. You really cry backwards, which I've never seen before. It's your start on your cheeks and they go into your eyes. They suck up in your eyeballs. It's the Irish Catholicism. But I was crying about something and I was explaining and,

kind of becoming hyperverbal in my processing, et cetera. And then there was like a lull. Holden just goes, bit of a bugaboo, huh? Extremely sweet way to express like emotional connection. Like, yes. It was a bit of a bugaboo. This is a bit of a bugaboo. That kind of reminds me, honestly, of like, so I went, I went to see Terrifier

three last night with Rob from the network and Jake Young. And Jake Young, not a big horror movie guy, has a fear of cloud. Oh, why do you go see Terrifier 3? Has not seen the first two terrifiers released. Oh, Jay. So all the other movie, just every time it's something insane would happen, I'd just be like, he's having a case of the fun. He's saying something so inappropriate.

Like, he's kind of like, he was holding like, he's like, the cloud man's like holding a leg up in the air. I was like, can I linch you a leg? And he's like, that's not even a thing. That's not even a thing. I think it's great. I love, honestly, I was talking about this on Jack and when I sat next to Ed Larson, watching Terrifier 3. And it just kept going,

oh, come on. Guys, come on. Come on. My reaction was, oh, yeah. Loved it. Loved it, loved it, loved it. But I was also going like, all right, come on. Okay, we know.

All right. Good. It was so fun. We'll talk about that more on Target TV. But yeah, yeah, it was so fun to go with someone who was just actively like, oh, oh. Like, just so upset. Don't do that to Jake. God, it was great.

great. But that is a bit of a bugaboo. But the song Bugaboo does get trapped in my head, I think, once every other month. And I think that it's unhealthy. I don't know how many other people out there are thinking about the, like, B tracks from the Dusty's Child

album. How dare they not? I don't, and I don't, I'm not saying they're right. I think we're all wrong, except you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I am feeling this way. And also, me, I didn't even introduce my thinking putty to you guys. Yeah, I'm over here.

I've got my thinking putty because I was in therapy. And my therapist was like, you break all of your pens during therapy. Oh, that's weird. Yeah, I guess I do break all my pens during therapy. And I keep having to buy new pens because I keep breaking them. And she's like, you know, you could, like, they've got like fidget things now that you can just get one of those things. And I was like, I don't need a fidget thing. I'm fine.

And then I've got this fidget putty. And I'm just ringing its nudge. neck like it's a chicken and I'm ready to roast. I'm just over here just like, how little can I make it? The problem is, man, remember when I had my sweaty gold eggs? Problem is thinking putty gets sweatier than you'd expect. I think that's supposed to get sweaty.

That's a sign of how much tension you're putting into the thinking putty. You're just like, your palms are sweating directly into the thinking puddy. I think that I think it might be a sign that you might need like a bigger thing of thinking putty. Like, whoa. Maybe you need to put your whole body in it, you know. Yes.

Oh my God, please. Like, I was going to call it a desperation tank. What is it called? A isolation. A dog tank. Desolation. Desperation tank. Yeah.

Oh, you're going to put me in the desperation tank? Oh, what are you going to masturbate me and put me away? They show you pictures of stuff you want. You're just like, oh, he's going to have some cake. But you never get it. It's always. cake. Honestly, I've been screaming for hot dogs because I tell you what. All right, before, I know we need to like Japanese stories. The season is over, Jackie. No dogs. I know that the seasons are. Okay. All right. The season is over. But I was at the Costco and I was so excited. But I was like, babe, you know, we can get after we, you know, you deal with Costco on a Saturday. And I was like, hot dog. And I was so, so excited. And then we skip outside to go to the restaurant portion of Costco. And it was closed.

And now, and then that night we went to Not Scary Farm. And I was like, I'm going to get a hot dog at Not Scary Farm. And then we ordered two hot dogs and we went to go pick it up. And they went, oh no, we're actually out of hot dogs. And Jeff was like, I've never seen the look on your face go from so ecstatic to so brutally violated so quickly. Where are all the dogs everybody? Why is everybody hiding the hot dogs from me? I feel like we skip past the first thing.

I think you need, Costco, you need to send an email out if the fucking dog pizza. I'll go to a different Costco. Seriously, that's the whole part of the experience. Right. If it's close that day, fucking, everyone should get like an amber alert on their phone. You know what I mean? Like, it just goes up. It's just like, no dogs in space at the Costco and goes somewhere else because that is brutal.

It is a nightmare. And here's the thing. And Jeff was trying to be positive because he's just. such a wonderful, positive man. But man, sometimes you're not in the fucking mood for something positive. And he was like, well, at least we ate a bunch of the samples while we were inside.

So maybe that was lunch. And I looked at him like he had 17 heads. Maybe that was lunch. That's not lunch, Jeff. That was lunch. But now, I feel like if I don't get a hot dog soon, I think I might skin someone alive. And I'm allowed to say that because it's

Halloween. Yeah, flay a man. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I'll flay. Come on, let me flay. Flay. Jackie, Flea. Yeah, oh my God, please. Oh, wow, that was really sweet.

The new Zoom update just said, Playing music, because you were singing to me, so thank you. Very nice. No, I'm not playing music, Zoom. Thank you. But also, why the fuck do you want to know Zoom? Get out of my life, Zoom.

Do you have a hot dog Zoom? Okay. So what happened with the celebrals? It's just me and my thinking puns. Don't worry about me. We are going to talk about if a New York story could New York story

could the story New York, New York. And yes, we are talking about the Timofay, Shamala, ding-dong, look-alike competition. This story is one of those beautiful gifts

that we receive every once in a while here on page seven. And that is when a story just like keeps getting bumped up like the more you read about the story, you're like, what?

What? Wow. And it really delighted me because, yes, there was a Timothy Shamilema Ding Dong look-like competition in Washington Square Park in New York City. It was set up by this person that does like Anthony Poe, who's a YouTube content creator who decided to put together this Timothay, Shamilema Ding-Dong, looked like competition. And the prize was $50. Love this. I love a competition where it almost, it is just for dignity. but you get a little bit.

And I did watch the actual competition because there's lots of people recording it and it's very fun because it is all done by audience interaction of who is the most looking like, Tem if I, I, I'm a ding-dom. You either get these, so it's just a bunch of mostly men,

but not only, but just a bunch of people stepping forward with various looks and then the crowd either booze them or cheers them. It is extremely fun to watch. It is a fun way. It's such a fun way. It's such a fun way to do it. And apparently, Timothy Shamma Ding-Dong,

showed up to his own lookalike contest. And of course, the headlines are he doesn't even look the most like Timothy, Shamma-Ding-dong. Because he didn't win the competition. But you know what I'm to say this? Real fun, cute move for Timothy to do this. Oh, this makes me like him more than anything else he's ever done. And I already, like, I don't, like, I don't dislike him. I would say I'm neutral to positive on Timothy. That's it. That's it. You want me to be more enthusiastic? I don't know. I guess I didn't know how you guys felt about, I mean, I know that there's a lot on this network as a whole. There's a lot of making fun of our little, beautiful little twink boy. I love a beautiful little twink boy. I think I've, I've spoken about how he's, you know, he's a bit like hashtag gender goals for me. So I think that's fun. I think if I had

stayed awake for either of the dunes. I might have stronger feelings about him. He's so good in them. He's just so good. And he's going to be Bob Dylan. And I bet he's going to be really good at it. Yeah, I'm excited for him to be Bob Dylan. He's 28.

But in my brain, he is still 17 years old. Yeah, he's a little boy. I am not, I don't thirst for him the way, like, even though shock because I was always a Lori kind of gal from little. women and everybody who's anybody knows that Christian Bale will forever be my Lori. But he came really, really close

to being my Lori. Yeah. I like him as a celebrity. I think he's like a little bit more interesting as like a heart throb than many of the celebrities that were the heartthrobs as we were coming up, you know? Yeah, because he's got a bit of the weasel face.

We've talked about this. He's got the rat boy summer look. Yeah. And he's like a little bit I mean, he's not like, you know, blurring gender lines in a massive way, but I like a little, I like, he's, you know, he's a little, he's a little dandy, you know. But I will also say, you know, New York, New Jersey, home of the weasel face, right? I mean, can I say it probably has if you were to take a poll, to look around the country, that, what the highest concentration of weasel face. Are we talking about rat boys or are we inventing a new category called weasel face? Weaselman. Weaselman.

Okay. I think Weaselman is very different than rat boy. because a weasel man, I want to, like, take the gabagool out of his hand, and I want to find out who we're whacking today, and then I want him to look at me the way he looks at his gumar. Are we talking about, Jackie, we're talking about Italian men. Are we talking about Michael Apioli? I think we're specifically talking about Michael Operioli.

Maybe I was just talking about all of the castes of the Sopranos. But, yes, there's a bit of, I think weasel men is very different than rat boys. Interesting. Yeah. All right. See, I think New York's home of the rat boys. This is what I would say the difference is. The rap boy is like scrappy.

He's always kind of looking around. He's always got eyes in the back of his head. He's always trying to figure out how to like just get through the day scrapping it up. The weasel, more cunning, sits back, observes. You know what I mean? Smarter. More calculated. Less facial movements.

I think that, okay, because in addition to the Timothy Shalameh Chalameh look like contest, of course, people keep because Timothy Shalameh showed up, it turned into a joke on Twitter where people kept being like, let's have it. double lookalike contest in my bedroom, et cetera. So there's a lot of good jokes about that. But now there's another one happening that is Jeremy Allen White, famously another rat boy.

I would put Timothy and Jeremy Allen White both in a rat boy category. Also, I will say sidebar. And I don't know if you saw the picture of Jeremy Allen White as Bruce Springsteen. As Bruce. What did you think? Why did you say it? Yeah, interesting. This is going to be a problem.

Why did you say it like you didn't slip into next week? I'm not saying I'm not slipping. I'm just saying I don't think he's trying to look like Bruce Springsteen that he looks like Jeremy Allen White. And a blue Springsteen party. Dressed like a man in New Jersey with the 70s. No way as tailored his look.

Also, it would be very weird. A big party, a Bruce Springsteen theme party as Jeremy Allen White. When he has the news he had on, he looks a little more Springsteenie. When he's wearing, when he's donning the newsy hat, it, it, it, it,

I see the Springsteen a little bit better. He's king in New York. I, I, I, um, I am excited to see Jeremy Allen White. I don't know who Jeremy Allen White is a, as is a person. I feel like I've only seen him be Carmi. So if he will be the boss,

I think that's great. If he, even if he's just going to be Carmi dressed up like the boss, I'm fine with it. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he is that guy. Pretty sure he's just like, yeah, I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you guys.

Yeah, well, fuck you. I will throw this out there. MJ, check out shameless because he's very good and shameless too. And I fell in love with Lipp before I fell in love with Jeremy Allen White. Okay. So that is definitely, I mean, you're not supposed to fall in love with Lipp.

I mean, his name is Lipp. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, very into it. And I think that's why I see more of the Springsteen, though, because of Lipp. Because it's very much, it's not a Karmie kind of character. And listen, nothing I'm saying is negative. I love Karmie.

I haven't seen Shameless, but I have read so many people love that show and love him in that show. And I think he, again, I'm slipping. I'm just saying I thought it was adorably Jeremy Allen White in Bruce Springsteen cosplay. But maybe he'll take us. Maybe he'll take us somewhere else to a Bruce Springsteen land, you know. You can take me somewhere else.

I know you're not supposed to go to a second location, but I'm willing to just to see what happens. I think you're not supposed to go to a second location in like a murder. Yeah, when I'm being like. like abducted. Yeah, it's more of that. And I kept making, man, everyone loves a wife napping joke because we were at the Not Scary Farm and I was the only person using the women's bathroom in our experience. And I just kept saying that I was going to get wife napped. And apparently nobody wants to nap me. But Jackie, that's absurd because no, no, no, the reason why no one wants to nap you is just many tattoos. I always say if anybody, you know, if a parent or anyone is like,

I don't like your tattoos, just be like, well, it's what's keeping me from being sex trafficked. You're right. I'm not getting wife-napped by the men in the Scarecrow masks. Yes, you're right. Beep, beep. I'm a free road ahead. I'm outside, yeah. Sex. I am just with my wife. I don't have to. No one's taken me. No one's taken. Put me through some weird process.

It's the flamingo tattoo, for sure. That's what's keeping it. Yeah, my name's not on the dark web. Not yet. Not yet. That's the tattoos keeping me. They're my one tattoo. The one tattoo. Yeah. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch.

A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems,

dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clinging? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it.

You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network, so subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September. 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. Now I do think it is fun because MJ was bringing up the fact that the people that created the Timothy Ash, Amelamma Ding Dong lookalike competition are now trying to do a

Jeremy Allen White lookalike contest also in Washington Square Park. And I think it's very fun because the prize instead of $50. is two packs of cigarettes and a seven-day metro card. I love that. Also, is it going to be the same men? Because not for nothing, they look a lot of like. Whoa. It's true.

It's true. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's extremely true. Two different things. I don't know. He's a weasel man. Timothy is a rat boy. Really?

Okay. I mean, I mean, all right. Yeah, I think so. I think that he's a weasel man. But here's the thing, though, I am fairly sure if you, and there's a reason why I haven't looked that far into it. I think that Jeremy Allen White is not the person you want to be kissing on. Not like in a badman way, but like in a like not the nicest way is what I've heard,

which y'all know like honestly that drives me up fucking so fast, but does it? Although I like that's a thing, but doesn't. Okay, we were talking last week about the like incredibly moving flirtation between Amelia, what's her name and Andrew Garfield on Chicken Shop. They Amelia Earhart and Andrew Garfield. And I, every so often, will get sucked into a little hole of all the TikToks of, I know that they're just friends, but of Iyo Edda Berry and Jeremy Allen White together. I know. I know.

But that's the thing in my brain. I'm like, Iyo couldn't be friends with someone that was that curmudge. No way. And it's like he loves more that they, yeah. That's what I say. Yeah. That's what I mean. I think that like, definitely.

I bet he does a lot more of this. is, huh, yeah. Are you intimating that he doesn't have that much of a personality? No, I'm just saying he's got a lot of person. He throws a little bit of laughter into the vibe, I think, off screen. Yeah, and I bet. Oh, yeah, he's got that smirk too, that, like, bad boys smirk, that side smirk. Oh, I love their friendship.

No, quit. Quit twin years ago. I've never been so turned on by a friendship except for Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain's friendship. Oh, my own! He'd just start smoking again too I bet I bet

Honestly Smoking cigarettes again I you know You couldn't hang out with him And not fucking blast a couple of fucking For at some point Yeah in the night Like I haven't had one in I think

Six years at this point Yeah exactly he'll be like Well Fucked you Eight times It was Like Eight times

I don't know Eight times mean Yeah So I'm like Ugh Yeah You're throwing it up You can be

I love this Thank you so much for the stagher. You're just piquing. Somehow he fucked you so hard. You just can't stop puking. Puking everywhere. We've all been there before. We've all been there.

We've all been there. Now, but even MJ did say up top, though, that's the thing. Is it Jeremy Allen White, though, is not going to randomly show up? Because as we all know, I see him in Los Angeles in Studio City. so I know that he's out here with his kids. So he can't be in New York. I mean, maybe he's there shooting because I will say, I think that he is.

I guess if he's shooting the Springsteen movie, he probably is, or at least he's closer. Well, I got to start sniffing him out at the farmer's market. I just feel like, I mean, obviously, it's complete gold for the, for the Timothy Shalome look like contest that Timothy Shalmay showed up. It's gold for Timothy. It's gold for the content creator. it's everyone had a great time except for the one Timothy who got arrested.

But again, very... Yeah, one Timothy got a... But you know, when in Washington Square Park, man, the cops just love to arrest. Yeah, yeah, take a Timothy. But I feel like they set the bar very high. How are you going to recreate that unless Jeremy Allen White shows up? And again, there's no way he's going to show up. Like, he is so not that guy.

It doesn't seem that would do it for like the lulls, you know what I mean? And I honestly didn't expect Timothy to be that guy. But it made me, like you said, it made me like him more. I think he likes, yeah, he's kind of a goofy. He's the silly, you know. It made me think that is the kind of shit. If I were famous, that at least is the kind of stuff I would love doing. Show up to something like that.

Oh, yes. Like, Adele did that. Remember that video of Adele going to the Adele lookalike, single-like competition? And she put on prosthetics and show. up and like pretend and she didn't win. That's so fun. That's so fun.

Yeah. Like so good. Yeah. But you know what else is so fun. And, you know, I know it didn't originate here on this show. But I will say it is a huge part of the lore of our show. And that is Tom Fishfucker Cruz, everybody. Dude.

It is, man. We are having our moment. Except no one is crediting us except for the loyal page seven listeners. And I thank you. And we thank you. And we thank you and we love you and we thank you. They're trying to erase us. Yes.

You cannot erase us. We will not be silenced. We have been speaking about Tom Cruise fucking fish in the blind items for since at least the pandemic. At least 2020. Yeah, someone said it goes, it does go back to 2020, which I think is interesting because I will say that the people that are sourced of like when it broke was in 2021, which is after we did it. So just over here, sucking on my own fish, I guess. And yeah, you know, maybe it's not

the coolest claimed fame, but it is ours. And it was going around on the internet again that Tom Fishfucker Cruz fucks fish. And of course, the internet's like, whoa, whoa, what? And we're all like, yeah, guys. But apparently there was, I don't know if there was a new blind items somewhere about fish fucking or why it was trending. But you guys are on X. Did you see why it was specifically trending? It just made it to TikTok is my understanding. It just made a TikTok.

TikTok just takes it and opens it up and blows it up, you know? And I don't know if Fishfucker Cruz can survive this. Whoa. I think it certainly can. I'm trying to find because Jade Goldluck and I believe that it was and a broker from our amazing chat. that apparently episode 86 juicy spicy and I don't know if this is okay this is the way to start the Tom Cruise talk this is them going back to the beginning of listening to page seven but it was

like 2020 we've been talking about this for years at this point I remember because I remember where I was when we were recording the first Tom Cruise fish fucking blind item and I was in my parents apartment because that was where I recorded it during the the pandemic. So it's possible that it was still, that it was 2021 if that's when the story broke. But I remember it being like deep in pandemic because we were all experiencing like collective psychosis, you know, and then that that happened. And as we talked about when we talked about it at our live show, it was like this weeks by weeks snowballing effect of cascade of blind items out in the wild. And what's amazing about the story that you sent Jackie, that is the roundup

of all of these after this, after the story kind of, you know, broke or whatever, it didn't break, but made it to TikTok, is that all of the blind items that they cite are the ones we originally read on the show. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All of them. All of them. Oh, yeah.

Like, this has been part of our lore now for years. Yeah. We made it in the live show. We read them off. Yeah, I have a memory. So I have almost memorized. I know. That's what I saw.

I was reading through this roundup and the black item. I can hear it and hold in his voice. I think I know the fish bathroom guy. is. I was like, we received that. Yes. Like, we found that. We read it. And then we also, yeah, it was, and as it was happening, you know, we were hearing from people. We were seeing more and more items out there in the wild.

And it was a very special moment. And I guess I'm just grateful that the knowledge is spreading. You know, we can't always be credited for the movements we start. But I think that we started this movement. We didn't start the fire. Right. It was burning since the world had been turning. Yeah. And we didn't fuck the fish. Yeah, we didn't fuck the fish. He's been fucking that fish since the world decided to spin around and it's little grave.

Whether it's in the mouth or in the gills, we'll never really know unless we do find out someday. And I don't know if I want to really know. I'd rather just live in my suppositions by myself. Lest we forget that The Simpsons also made this joke like two decades before us. Yeah. Like with Troy McClure, but it was clearly a reference to Tom Cruise and fucking fish. So this is not a page 7 romp about, okay? It's real.

And we're just tapping into the existing zeitgeist. He does something. If he doesn't fuck him, he does some weird Scientology ritual, which is super not off base. He's doing something. Something of their weird stuff with aqua marine-ness or whatever you want to call. Whatever you science is called. I thought you meant the mermaid movie from our childhood.

No. Aquamarine. No, I just don't know what science. I just, you know, it's science. It's whatever. You don't like history. You don't like science. Yeah.

If someone wants to be like, here's an interesting one-minute story about history or science. Sure. Bestow it. You know? Give me a Reddit headline. Like nuclear. What is it? Nuclear semi.

Yeah. Bald men are more susceptible to STVs or something. Right? I'll be like, oh, interesting. No, I'll send you the video essay, Jeff showed me last night on nuclear semiotics. So if that's what you want to learn about that is like a, you know, just a 35-minute blip, talking about how the future generations

are going to deal with the existence of nuclear waste. So if that's... I just want to hear about how shitty the Star Wars Hotel was. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever that is, I don't know.

I don't think it's history. I don't think it's science. Whatever you want to call that, that's what I like. Hate. I like, I like hate, just hate, you know, people failing. That's sad for you, all right?

People are getting into fights at McDonald's. We are on the brink of the greatest season of the year and how dare you. Oh, I was at the break of a lot of things. I was wondering where you were going to go with that. I'm not thinking about any of those things. I'm thinking about the fact that this drops on Halloween. And that means it is the last day of our spooky season where we enter into turkey time, turkey time.

Everybody get ready. Get your gravy's up. Get your gravies up. It's the 29th. Okay, you're not Mariah. Yeah, I was going to say. Not, yeah. I'm just saying the episode drops on Halloween.

just getting everybody that's listening ready for it, okay? But she tells us. I probably shouldn't say this in a microphone, but like why have you not yet parodied a Mariah Christmas, like social media post of her getting defrosted or whatever, but instead it's like you like, I don't know, doing something with a turkey. I want a whole Thanksgiving special. You need a Thanksgiving special.

I would love that. And this is something that I have been thinking about for quite some time. Now with all the stuff going on with LPN TV, I probably could next year have a Thanksgiving special. That's what I can say in like the next Fun House, which I may, thank you everybody who watched the Fun House this past time. Oh my God, please. And if you haven't watched LPN Fun House, please check it out. Because I think our YouTube currently is getting algorithm fucked. So I'd really appreciate anyone actively going and watching it because our like, it's ridiculous.

But it's so good. It's so much fun. On top of that, though, people were like, yeah, when's the next one? I'm like, it'll be, you know, not, it'll be a holiday one. It'll be in December. So, and then I was like, well, the thing we do in November is the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, which I believe we'll be doing on Jackie's channel this year. Twitch.tv.

Oh, no, it's Jackie. Which I, I, I don't want to necessarily risk getting banned again because I got banned watching the Oscars. But don't worry, Holden doesn't mind me risking to get banned. So it's fine. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah, yeah.

He's fine with it, guys. Come up more than fun. Yeah, no, he's already, he's making it happen. Yeah, he's happy. I already had like a party about it. Yeah. It doesn't happen. I'll be devastated.

Like, I had people over, not Jackie. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. I got the reviews of the party. They were sent to me. And they loved it, right? Did everybody have a good time? Did they like that? The cheesecake?

I don't know. You brought out the dog shock collars again from LPN Funhouse. So I don't know how much fun everybody had. That got a little weird. That got a little weird. But did you guys see back to break, sorry to bring it back to Mariah, but she did, you know how she always does her October 31st, like at midnight,

she does her like, it's time. Yeah. But she did, she did a cute little get out the vote one. She's standing and she's like, and then they're like, not yet, Mariah. First you have to vote. And she was like, okay, whiz my ballot. But also everybody first we have to vote.

Is MacArthur still running? We have to vote. We have to vote everybody. We got to vote, guys. Don't forget to vote. You got to get your vote in. Just put it in. You can put it in the ballot box.

Ryan Carey says, get out you vote. And yeah, this is our, is this our last pre-elect, no, next one. Next page seven we record is election day. So we will surely be descending into further madness. We're going to have a weird vibe next week. The vibe's going to be weird. Let's get day drunk together. We start recording at 8.30 in the morning, MJ.

And let's get morning drunk. I don't know if that's a. Good idea for us. Let's give ourselves a different kind of morning sickness. Oh, no. I don't want any of them. Although I say that, but, you know, Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, we do start drinking at 6 o'clock in the morning.

So it's really not, it's not below me. That's for damn sure. And, man, it certainly is below Stevie Nix. And yes, we are going to talk about, I don't know if you guys read the interview, the Rolling Stone interview with Stevie Nix. It was awesome. And one of the things that. got brought up was when Stevie Nix, apparently, 10 years ago, so she was talking about,

Stevie Nix was talking about her phone, and she said she has an iPhone, but it is not connected to the internet. She said, basically, it's just a camera with a clock on it. And she brought up the fact that, like, she's actually really just not on the internet. And she said, about 10 years ago, Katie Perry was talking to me about the internet armies of all the girl singers and how cruel and rancid they were. I said, well, I wouldn't know because I'm not on the internet. And so Katie Perry asked, who are your rivals?

And Stevie Nix says, I just looked at her. It was my steely look. I said, Katie, I don't have rivals. I have friends. All the other women singers that I know are friends. Nobody's competing. Get off the internet and you won't have rivals either.

I thought that was great. I could not stop reading this over and over. just like, I love, I don't have rivals, I have friends. Yeah, that's like, I have friends. Because I think that that was kind of, well, was it created back in the day more so too? I was just trying to think about it. I'm like, yeah, you didn't really hear about this kind of like my fans and your fans and her fans are going after her fans. Well, like, think about literally her and Christine.

Like, if you think about, like, there are Stevie songs in Fleetwood Mac. There are Christine songs. I mean, they all have their own music that they would bring to it. But like, and there were people that were more into Christine than they were Stevie, and I'm sure, and vice versa. But they didn't have to deal with social media and the comments. I do think that this is a beautiful way for Stevie Nix to feel. I think that it is just not really possible. Right.

I think at this point, like, everyone knows who Katie Perry is. So she could get off the internet if she wanted to. Yeah, it always blows me away. Celebrity dumb and part of fan base. is social media now. Well, yeah, but does, I think that she's, I think that you could, I mean, I know she says get off the internet,

then you won't have rivals, but I feel like the bigger takeaway is like, stop feuding, right? I think it's stop feudin. No, I will say, I felt like that one track, Christine's got weird toes that she put on her solo album was a little.

She never would have said that about Christine, how dare you? I just, I cannot think about the album rumors without thinking of Murray and flood of the Concords being like, no, that's true. about rumors being a breakup album.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I just feel like for Stevie Nix, who is like famous for like writing songs that are incredibly, you know, emotional to be like, Katie, you just don't have to get your emotion. You don't have to bring, like, there's other ways to create like human investment and interest and drama.

and it's like with the art, you know? Right, right, right. I think that she said that this conversation took place a decade ago, which is like slightly, I guess, before like Stan culture, but it was in the midst of like the, I had completely memory hold this, the Taylor Swift and Katie Perry conflict. But I just feel like. Bad blood is I think largely about Katie Perry.

Yeah, yeah. And Swift basically like all but confirmed that that was about her. And so, yeah, I just feel like it's interesting to have such a, a kind of like God of being a star, but specifically of like lyrics being like you actually don't have to like do this whole enemies thing. You can just not. Right. And you could just not go online.

I feel like that's a narcissist problem though, where like I think the people are just addicted to the feedback, you know? And I'm not saying I'm above it, by the way. I totally look at comments. But I think if you're on the level of a Katie Perry, like you need to fully walk away from all comments ever, you know? Totally. And really avoid all of that and be unaware of any of that.

You can tell the celebrities who do that and who don't, right? I feel like that's, I feel like to whatever, however you feel about Taylor Swift, she has, well, maybe she's a bad example. I was going to say, I think that you can't, you just can't keep doing it if you let that stuff get to you. Obviously, Taylor Swift is somebody who still cares about that stuff as we kind of saw that with when she was with Maddie Healy and a lot of her songs are about like, like her being pissed off about what people say things about her.

Oh, yeah. I think she's extra. She's also a narcissist with, you know, and with wanting and a people please her. Yeah, she's a bad example. And I think the same advice we've been saying to like Chapel for a minute. And I also really appreciated her comments about Chappell. It was eye-opening for me to say at least when it comes to the show cancellations. I still think she needs to get the fuck off like TikTok or whatever and stop worrying about

the way people react to the shit she says or whatever it is. But that aside, like with the show cancellations, having CV Nixby, like, I saw her tour schedule. It's fucking way too much. They are definitely overworking her. It's gonna fucking. And so I was like, well, then, you know, I hope that, you know, that can change for her. Because like, no one should be put, you know, and they will do it too.

Everything I've heard from everybody who talks about it, it's like if you get up to that level, they'll just work you to death. Like, they don't care. Like you have to. Oh, yeah. You and your people in your corner have to be the ones like making sure you're not. advocating for yourself. But is that not true for every single other job?

True. And our lives of like you need to learn how to advocate for yourself or else no one's going to do it for you. I think that's true. And it is a hard thing to learn, especially at a young age, especially when you're in front of millions and millions of people. I think that there's a thing. I think that maybe what is so, like, satisfying about the exchange between Nix and Perry

is that, like, of course, there is a, I think that there is. just being motivated or being, like, I think there's a thing when some, for some famous people, part of their personality becomes how motivated they are by their haters. And I think that that's just only so interesting. Like, it might be interesting to a point to be like, I'm not going to let the haters define me. But then if your entire personality, it just becomes like, the haters won't stop me, then. It gets annoying. I think that's what unfortunately happened with Katie Pear.

I was honestly, I was reading this interview. I was like, did Stevie Nix, like, put a. put a curse on Katie Perry because like a decade ago she was at the top of her game you know like a decade ago Katie Perry was in a very very different place in her career than she is now

and now she's in a much worse place but I feel like after women's world and all like everything she said was just like all the haters can't stop me and at a certain point it's just like no one cares about your haters people care about what art you're creating you know like stop being so obsessed like with the

with whatever the feedback is and I but also I think arguably I'm not saying it was easier to be a musician in the time that Fleetwood Mac was coming up, but I think it would have been nicer to not have constant feedback. There was a lot less opportunity, but there was a lot more anonymity, minimi, yeah, right. Or privacy. Or just not constant, like you, we turn on a computer every day. And if you're famous, you turn on a computer every day and hear what people hate about you. And it's going to get in the way of your process, you know, and they just didn't

have that back then. And then if you're not out in the world, like just living life, and instead, you're just all head in your phone screen and you're all focused on this shit, then yeah, you're not going to have anything interesting to sing about or talk about. And I think that that is such a big, no, and I think that's a big issue that we're seeing with like shitty comedians right now. It's like, they think that like, because they're online all day, all they have to talk about is like fucking cancel culture, which is so boring at this point. How persecuted they are. I don't even care. Yeah, no one gives a shit. Yeah, exactly. I don't even care about your bad opinion about it or good opinion about it. I'm tired of hearing it.

You know what I mean? Totally. I was even, you know, like in the last bastions of seeing if I could still stomach Rogan, and this was forever ago, I mean, I would put it back on and be like, dude, you're still talking about masks? It's fucking over. Right. What are, really? It's just boring.

Yeah. Like, God. The feud and the grievances and all of that. I just feel like, right. It was just, I feel like reading this Stevie Nix interview is just like so, yeah, that we need less, less self-reflection sometimes. I like, you know, I'd said this the other day to a parent friend because, of course, I'm in the era of parenting where it's like we try to talk through every feeling and we try to validate every feeling. Whoa, I do that in my marriage too.

And it takes a lot, turns out. So don't you discredit yourself. It's a lot of work. And it's good work, of course. But then also, sometimes, like, sometimes you're just got to be like, you know what? We're not doing that right now. Keep it moving. Right.

And you make a joke or you, it's not like you try to shut down the emotions, but like you try to redirect. There's times you have to compartmentalize. so that you can just get through the day. Or you don't have to wallow, you know. So I just feel like there's a, you know, just who are your rivals is such a like a, a modern times question to ask and to have somebody from a different era be like,

who are my rivals? What are you talking about? Like, we're trying to build each other up here, you know? Let's work together, you know? Yeah, yeah, exactly. And that is why I got, it was so great to see Chapelrone at the Olivia Rodriguez Guts World Tour movie premiere.

And it was, but it was just fun also just to see Chapel on the, you know, red carpet with Olivia Rodriguez. Like, this is like a moment. It's exactly what we were just talking about where it's like they're not rivals. They're working together with like they're showing their cohesion as two different like pop stars currently. But of course, Chapel, which is very funny, called out a photographer on the red carpet that apparently was rude to her during a Grammy's party. and she demanded an apology in front of everyone. I think that this is, I know that people, you know, have lots of opinions about how Chapo's handled fame. I feel like Chapel is this amazing, like, freaky Friday situation where it's like, what if suddenly a non-famous person is Uber famous? And they just don't accept any of the conditions, right?

Like, I think it's kind of fun that she's like, hey, fuck you. You were mean to me at the Grammys. And everyone's like, you're not supposed to do that. But like, what if it's good that she's not supposed to do that? She's doing it anyway. Part of me for her sake wants her to just like get above all of it and just not like and just ignore it for her mental health. Once she gets more used to it. I'm sure.

I also don't mind it. And but he didn't apologize. Did he like that was the thing I was trying to figure out? I was like did he actually, what did he say in that exchange? I don't know. I don't know if we know. I can't hear the other side of it. I felt like he was probably just like, uh, uh, because that's like what hoperasi people do.

They just go, ha, I'm hilarious, right? Right? And it also spurred a whole thing on Twitter of people being like, if you think, Chapel Roens route to paparazzi, you should see. And it was like, you know, Hugh Grant and the guy from Oasis, Liam Gallagher. But there's a difference between being an asshole or like being aggressive towards people on the red carpet. And then the aggression that they receive. And I feel like that's the kind of aggression that you don't receive.

But she wasn't even being other, you know, it's like, that's a lot. She wasn't pulling him names either. She was just like, you owe me an apology. Like what you did was rude. Yeah. Yeah. Which is not. Yeah, she just called him out.

She didn't curse at him. She didn't like, she just called him out. Or I'm sorry, them out. I don't even know. I believe that it was a dude. But maybe that's over me, making an ass out of me and me, all right? I don't know.

And now you're canceled. And now I have a problem with cancel culture. Let's talk about it. All right. Let's not talking about it. Oh, good. Oh, great. Is Simlet's him with the share.

Do you believe it? Are Vin Diesel and the Rock's secret agents? Oh, I thought you were going to say lovers. No. Yeah, because in my brain now they're kissing. and you can't take it away. Everything can't be weird and horrid. No.

What are the most interesting? What if they're kissing? I actually would say they are the most uninteresting thought of a gay couple. Like, I'm just even just seeing them kiss. I know. That's why it would be fun to just like, imagine the sound of their meat bags swapping up against each of. What do you want to do now?

Yeah. Honestly, yeah. I'll watch it. You want me to spot you? Yeah, exactly. Just spotting and suffocing and fucking. They're naked and his dick is dangling in his face. This one comes in from.

who writes none of those things that you just said. Dear, Holden, Jackie and MJ, long-time listener here, and I've been sitting on this theory for about two years. I didn't want to do any research and thought, surely someone more knowledgeable would send this one in, but alas, here we are. In November 2022, Vin Diesel, posted of himself on Instagram,

him at a Lakers game, giving a thumbs-up caption, I need Brittany Griner home before Christmas. This post has since been deleted. Brittany Griner, who, for those who aren't familiar, is an American basketball player who was detained in Russia for 293 days for marijuana possession. Brittany was released as part of a prisoner swap for Russian arms dealer Victor Bout

on December 8th, 2022. Did Vinn know that a release was a possibility before the rest of the world? Interesting. Now on to The Rock. The Rock tweeted on May 1st, 2011 at 7.24 p.m. PST. Just got word that will shock the world,

land of the free, home of the brave, damn proud to be an American. At 1135 EDT. I remember this. So 8.35 p.m. PSD. Barack Obama announced that bin Laden had been assassinated, less than one hour before the president of the United States had. You're nodding your head vigorously, by the way, MJ. Do you remember this? I think that this has come up before, because as soon as you said 2011, this is how broken my brain is. I was like, as the year bin Laden was killed. And so when I, I, I feel like I remember this somewhere. Any listeners, can you, can you confirm?

Have we ever talked about this before? I forgot to Google to make sure. I don't think we've done it as a conspiracy theory, but I just, maybe it's not even on the show. I feel like I've heard this thing that Rock, that the Rock, like 20 minutes before the announcement tweeted it out. Less than one hour before the President of the United States made a world changing announcement.

The Rock was already informed in tweeting about it. When asked about this later, the Rock's response was, if I tell you that, I won't have to kill you, but I'll have to behead you. No, I got my sources. I got friends, night places. in low places. So killing you would be bad ating you, unless you're art the clown, which, you know, then you'll find a way to resurface. He always does. Now, I ask you all, are Vin Diesel

and the Rock secret agents both had top secret international information before the rest of the world? It's well known that the two fast and furious actors have been feuding for years now. Is it possible that their disagreements go beyond onset creative differences? Perhaps the two are not just fighting for screen time. Maybe they're fighting for secret missions as well. Love listening to you guys while I unwind after a long week of work. Thanks for always making me laugh out loud while I listen to the show on my headphones in public warmly. Anna. Thank you, Anna.

What do you guys think? Oh, man. This is a fun little hole to fall into. There is a Reddit post with 47,000 likes that says, today I learned that Dwayne the Rock Johnson was the second person on earth to publicly report the news of Osama bin Laden's death only 47 seconds after a Navy intel officer leaked it up from official sources. To be fair, he didn't tweet out. the news of Osama's death, but he

tweeted out big news or whatever. Big news. And he also kind of confirmed it being like, well, I won't have to kill you, but I'll have to behead you, which makes those sense. But anyways, I just want to apologize about you. I'm sorry that they're not sucking each other's dicks, okay? I feel like this might be a little more important than that, okay? Now, is it than sucking dicks? I don't know.

Just saying. He's implicated. I just love the idea that, like, the rock was only like one of like three people who knew besides President Obama and that like not only was he one of the people who knew he also like tweeted it right away, you know, but again, in 2011, Twitter was pretty big. So maybe he would have gone right to Twitter. I don't know. I think that this is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the diesel, Britney Greiner thing is, does not compel me as much as the idea that the rock is somehow in on like the intelligence meetings around the death of

Osama bin Laden. Yeah. And let's, uh, yeah, unless, uh, uh, uh, Vin Diesel's in the took my intelligence meetings. Come on, guys. I don't know why. I'm sure he's very smart. I don't know, actually. I don't know if he is. I mean, I don't know.

I can't, I've never talked to him before. I obviously believe, I do feel like if you've watched the Fast and the Furious movies, and you watch them go from people that drive fast cars into being international super agents, even though they have had no training. I think that you watch those movies and you hit hour 12, hour 13, and you go, I could tell them some fucking country secrets. Yeah, maybe that's it. You know, I think that they could know more. Maybe Obama was just a fan.

Also, there's a, there's more, okay, I just, I'm sorry, I'm really going into this. There's a Politico. Uh-oh, uh-oh, you're going down the rap and run up the sleeves. There is a Politico post from 2012, and it's Politico, it's not Reddit, right? Like actually they, you know, is a... Is that political Reddit? It's a news organization. Oh.

And the full quote is about when he is asked. He said the Holden thing, I'd have to behead you. But then he said, I got friends in high places and low places. It was a very interesting day. The individuals who were there were proud to let me know. I knew the president was going to give his speech. I thought he was going to give it at a certain time. And I thought it's appropriate that I tweet.

I'm damn proud to be an American and keep it in that space without. giving too much information away. So that tweet literally was about bin Laden. Whoa. And he literally tweeted it out. But also, why would he tweet it? You know what I mean? No, and why would he tweet it?

Whoa. No, this is weird. Whatever it is, all right, even if they're not, even if the Rock is not a secret agent, something is definitely weird. Yeah. Man. The Rock, more like sucking cock.

Sucking cock. Suck and slack. I'm sorry. Thank you. sound of my putty. Yeah, sorry, I can't bring you guys more. But I think the political implications, Jackie, are a little more important than two big, strong, bald men

getting calm out of each other's dicks. But when you're grabbing on your putty, the way I've been grabbing on my putty for the last hour, I hate to tell you, I do agree. Well, you know what? You know what I love? I love a good list. Do you know what I mean?

I just really like. Oh, do you want to, do you, did you want to continue because I'm over here. Just because two boys, slapping my putty, thinking about cots open, like they're, create their own personal Goat C-69. Oh, yeah, they're helping each other

pick up their weight barbells. I don't know what they do. Weight barbells. And the bottle. Yeah, the man, they're pissing. All right, it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Me, Jack Gay, got to have that list. Celebrities who say they've lived in real

haunted houses. Yeah, whatever. Number one, Courtney Cox. Of course. Courtney Cox's first warning, Cox said, came from legendary singer Carol King who previously owned the home.

She said, so Carol King came over to my house and said there had been a divorce that was really ugly, and there was a ghost in the house. And I was like, yeah, whatever. The ghost of divorce? I love the idea that divorce produces a ghost. Divorce ghosts.

But other people who had stayed there with me, friends of mine, said they had an encounter with a woman who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Cox continued, though she brushed off their concerns at the time as well. That was until one day the doorbell rang and Cox opened the door to a UPS guy or something who asked her, do you know this house is haunted? Cox replied, yeah, why? Why do you think that? To which delivery driver responded, because there's someone standing behind you. And the star said that was enough to convince her once and for all,

joking to Kibble that she was ready to sell after that experience. Wow. That's a good one. Creepy. That's why like I like this list because it's also people like explaining. It's not just like, oh, Octavia Spencer, who is next on the list? Octavia Spencer told Ellen DeGeneres that she grew up watching Westerns and bought a house that was owned by a man who worked in that genre. Spencer purchased the 1927 Spanish-style house into Lucca Lake in 2013 and said that the ghost who claims to come with the property is her quote, protector. She said, I love him because he kind of sorts out the bad people that she's, shouldn't be there. He runs them out. She said, if they stay at my place, they don't want to come back.

And that's how I know that they don't belong here. If you're a person that belongs here, everybody's like, oh, your place is so welcoming. It's so great. And that's how I feel about it. And so apparently, she said, the doors close, lights go off when she turns them on. But she says, the only problem is, I love my ghost. I just don't want you bringing your ghost to my house. I don't want anybody's ghost thinking that they can be friends with my ghost is what Octavia Spencer said about it. This is fun. Right? Yeah.

Now, this one, I don't know, you know, we'll take it with a grain of salt, Britney Spears. Now, Britney Spears, but this does make a little bit more sense. Before selling her Hollywood Hills home to Britney Murphy and her husband, both of whom died in the house in 2009 and 2010, Britney Spears allegedly had otherworldly experiences on the property. so apparently she had that place up on Sunset Plaza and she said this is really weird so this is her friend talking about Britney Spears.

She calls me. I had my friend do Reiki healing on her. He had come up. I guess she'd had a crazy partying weekend and needed to relax. He left and she swears to God that he opened some spirit portal or something and these bad spirits had come in and they were trying to like push her down the stairs

or something crazy. She continued it was so bad that Britney Spears left. She went to the Casa Del Marho hotel to stay there and never went back to the house. She goes, I know you think, you're going to think that I'm crazy. I'm not crazy. I know what I saw. I know what I felt. And then Britney Murphy ended up, now, was the mold, I think that ended up killing both her and her husband a year separate from each other? But either way, that story is always weirded me the fuck out. Not that I know anything about black mold or like, know that it can, cannot do. I know nothing about it. I know nothing

about it. Always creep me out that it was like the year in between, you know what I mean? Totally. And then she looked in the mirror and she saw a woman dancing with blades. Ah! That's what I become! So, Jenny Slate also grew up in a haunted house and she said that it basically shaped her entire personality. She said, I grew up in Massachusetts. I grew up in a genuine haunted house. I knew it was haunted. My parents, when they moved in, they bought it with all the furniture in it. The people had... died, and I'm getting scared even telling the story, then the comedian recounted how her parents

pulled up the runner on the stairs, only to find a stack of old letters that had been hidden there. The letters were from a man who was not the previous owner's husband, but a sea captain. Slate said her father ended up actually seeing the sea captain's ghost. Quote, my dad went out into the hall and he looked onto the stairs and standing there was the sea captain looking at him pleading. Eventually, the family burned the letters and the sea captain never returned. He was hunting for seaman.

Oh, what is he? The rock and Vin Diesel come back. Hey, Vin. Why don't you give me another fucking loadout? All right, we'll do. They don't sound like that. They sound like... Right.

So disgust. Both you were disgusting me today. Jackie is slap in the putty. I'm just, I'm just, I'm... Yeah, well, I see it in your eyes, MJ. While I talk about these big bald men filleting each other, I see it in your eyes. It's disgusting.

Also, I'm looking up to black mold kill Britney Murphy. And I'm not going to go into the Reddit posts on that. It's not going to... No, whoa. I love this for you, MJ. I mean, it's Halloween. Jennifer Aniston also lived in a spooky house. And apparently the ghost hated her roommate.

You're going to say her acting. I was like, that's great. Giving her bad reviews. Boo. They're saying boo Anniston. Buanniston. The dishwasher would start to go or the coffee maker would start to go or the stereo would just turn on at full volume and it was terrifying. She said following the advice of a friend, Aniston decided to have someone clear the house.

She said they had frankincense and they put it in a little dish and sort of started saying all these things. and the first corner that she went to, the dish cracked. When we got to the really thick, thick, thick, 1975 ashtray that was sitting on the table and then that cracked, she asked me to leave. Then I really believed it. She had to have a talking to with the ghost. The ghost expert was able to pinpoint the problem after chatting with the spirit.

Apparently the ghost did actually hate Jennifer Anison's roommate. She said, I moved out. I felt terrible, but I couldn't say, the ghost doesn't like you. I mean, that would be terrible. So she didn't make the roommate moved out. She just moved out herself. There you go.

Which tells me that maybe the roommate was like a nightmare in other ways. Yeah. I wonder if the roommate was also like leaving the dishes in the sink, bringing over his big bald, you know, workout companion for, you know, living room oral. Oh, yeah, man. Again, get me out of the Fast and the Furious, but get me into Matthew McConaughey. The actor told. the tail. Fast and furious there.

That's his dicks like a brother. Yeah. Oh, he's like mad about it. So angry at this penis. Too fast. Too furious. Too furious.

Oh yeah. You don't want to be that. You're going to wake up the next day with lacerations on your beanpole. That's for sure. You don't want to do that. Now Matthew McConaughey told the tale of Madame Blue, the not so friendly spirit who lived in his Hollywood home. Quote, I was not even under the influence and she was there.

She wasn't that happy. It didn't seem like she was going to be much fun to hang around or having my house. So I went ahead and stood my ground. I opened the door and said, you can move around all you want, but I'm not going anywhere. For weeks, everyone that came to the house said the same thing. There's someone down that hall. There's somebody down in that hall. Okay, I'm not saying I don't believe these people.

It sounds like you don't believe these people, MJ. If someone came to, I don't, I'm just trying to actually, like, I believe that he's telling the truth, if someone came to my home and said there's someone down that hall, I would be like, are you having a medical event? You know what I mean? Like I just, it was just such a strange. What if multiple people said it to you, MJ? Yeah, I guess. I mean, have you guys as adults? I definitely had a lot of times as a kid being in old houses, think, get revving myself, out of sleep over, revving myself up to think that I was seeing ghosts. Have you guys as adults been in homes where you feel like there is someone down that hall? I feel like there are places.

I felt vibes. Yeah. Like specifically we were in St. Augustine and there's this one fortress like there's like a big fortress there that like never got taken over. You know what I mean?

And many many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many people had died there. And we'd gone on this really awesome ghost tour, which was very cool. But being in there with, because it had a lot of like the old like furniture and stuff, I feel like places...

hairy, like almost like, yeah. Yes, I do feel that like I have felt like an aliveness of an estate before. Yeah, yeah. I'll, I'll give that a yeah. Yeah. The one that I remember, it's not my story. It's John Moreno's story. But he stayed in this house when I met him like freshman year.

And it was a weird, it was just a cursed house. It was like you had to cross a weird, like, tiny moat just to like get into it. it. I mean, awesome. I would do anything for a moat, but yes. It was on a side street, like, across the street from a graveyard. And it was very true. He was hottest how ass he was. Being in that house was extremely hot. And they would, like, have dreams about, like, the oven turning on and burning the whole place burning down. And there was just all this weird stuff. And John had crazy dreams. He, like, woke up, but, like, jumped out of bed from some nightmare stuff. And everybody was just having a hard time there. And then the real kicker was when the,

a room, somebody crashed on the couch and they had kind of like the two rooms, the little hallway in between. He was like, yeah, I, I, I, he like, he left in the middle of the night and they were like, why'd you leave? It was like, well, I woke up and I saw this like burn victim essentially looking person walk from one of your rooms the other. And the next time John moved out and it was a horrible place and he had like a horrible time there. And like the next time he saw the place, it was burned down. And there was like some history. there. I believe, I am a big believer. It was crazy. I'm not anti. I'm not, I'm actually not. I'm not trying to be the scully in the

situation. Right. But I believe that person saw that based on like, I'm forgetting some of the details, but it was just, and everything was around heat and fire. Like, it would just be, we, no, I wouldn't want to live in that house for sure. No, I definitely wouldn't. Yeah, there's just something about like the idea, like, Octavia Spencer being like, everybody who comes to my house, drives the ghost. I'm like, really? Or is this kind of like a fun? Or maybe it just has happened enough that it is Yeah. Because like that's the thing. What is it

what is that like question of like how many owls would it take for you to see in a day before you think that something was trying to tell you something? Like I think this like an amber question that she's asked me before and I was like, I guess four. I think if I saw my fourth owl, I'd be like, what's going on? Right. Right. What's happening

in here? You know what I mean? Like the fucking humming. We'll talk about that on stupid talking TV. The hummingbird from Golden Bachelorette. Oh, I thought you were talking about when I was tripping on mushrooms on 4th of July and I told Lexi that there were hummingbirds in the trees. And she just went, yeah, there are. And, um, but there weren't. No, the fucking sob story. The one of a million sob stories going on in that show.

I don't even know why that show. We're not talking about the Golden Bachelorette right now. We're going to talk about it on talking TV. Last but not least, I will end up, I will end this list. As not least, Miley Cyrus, the singer and her family had a terrifying time staying at a haunted rental apartment in London. She said I was having really crazy dreams and really scary things. And one night, my little sister, it sounds crazy to tell you. But she was standing in the shower and all of a sudden I hear a scream.

I run in there and the water had somehow flipped to hot. But it was still, it wasn't like the water had just changed. The knob had turned. But she hadn't turned it and it was burning her. She was really red. She said, before I felt this, I thought I had seen a little boy sitting on the sink watching me take a shower. So I felt really freaked out.

The star added that her mom, aunt, and ex Liam Hemsworth all had crazy experiences in the flat after the shower incident and that she eventually felt forced to find another place to stay. Yeah, it also reminds me like there's a lot of, every so often you'll come across a story that's like 20 kids who told their parents about the ghost. and it's like, there's a lot of, people describe a lot of experiences of, like, young children being like, mommy, do you know about the little boy who lives in my closet? You know, like that type of thing. Right.

Oh, yeah. Those always really freak me the fuck out. I don't know why I'm more inclined to believe those children than I am to believe Miley Cyrus and Matthew McConaughey. But I think I believe, I know this isn't this conspiracy theory, but I think I believe. Well, there you have it. I will, I accept it because I, that was my point. I wanted you to believe, MJ.

Yeah, I got stuck in your cross. Prawn, MJ, think about it. And I believe my eyesight's fading. I think I'm going. Blind. Item. Oh, we get them. This former A-List teen actor, definitely not, no longer A-List, was trying to be cool.

A-List in the 90s, I guess. And was trying to be cool in front of his former A-List actress who used to wear a swimsuit for a living. I blew a bunch of, you know, whatever's out to her when I was younger. The actor said his girlfriend. will be down for a threesome if the actress would. The actress said yes. Actress in big air quotes.

But the girlfriend said no. So the actor hired an escort and pretended she was his girlfriend. Fast word to two weeks later and the actress runs into the actor and his actual girlfriend who had no idea about the threesome or escort and the actress blew it all up. Whoa. So, um, yeah. Bam Anderson? No, but in the same triad, I would even call it, of women I masturbated to a furiously.

Carmen Electra. Brooke Shields. Oh, Carmen Electric. Okay. No, Brooke Shields, MJ. What am I fucking 80? No. Wow, that's insulting.

No, Carmen Electric, Ginny McCarthy and Pamela Anderson. You're right. You're right. I'm married to a Jen Exer. I went a little bit too old. I apologize. Brooke Shields.

I'm going to tell Gideon that you said. That's like being like, you know, yeah, that's like being like Rita Hayworth. I meet beautiful woman. I mean, gorgeous. Not Rita Hayworth. All right. The guy has continued to be like a host of sorts, but he was...

David Hasselhoff. No, but he was a kid actor famous on a show. We are, I think we all watched. It might have been a little before you guys' time. And then he's continued to host and stuff. You know, I could see him... Oh, saved by the bell. Yes.

A.C. Slater. No. That's the character's name. Mario Lopez. You know, John Lopez. John Gosser. John Gosser, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, Mario Lopez and Carmen Elektra, and I totally believe this story.

So Mario Lopez was the boyfriend, Carmen Electra was the girlfriend, Mario Lopez. Was the actress. That he wanted to sleep with. He wanted to sleep with her and said he got a, oh yeah, I believe that. That was also a real A.C. Slater move. Dirty dog. Dirty dog. Yeah, it is like a plot of a episode of a show starring A.C. Slater as like an older, you know, person.

If Say by the Bell went there, like that would have happened on Say by the Bell. Yeah, but they're not DeGrosse. Yeah. They're not degrassi. Did next one, did the pint-sized actor show up somewhere with a fish? Why is everyone talking about it again?

What if the ginger-haired one showed up somewhere with a fish and wanted some lessons from the pint-sized actor? Who's the ginger-haired one? Who is the ginger-haired one? That's for you to figure out. Eddie Redmayne?

No. Good question. He's British, though. The ginger-haired one is British. Oh, Ed Sheeran. No, maybe not talented, actually. Not talented. Maybe just like,

there by birth. Harry. Yes, Prince Harry. And of course, Tom Cruise, I had to add this in. I mean, how do we not? I know you also put it in the articles people are talking about again. I will say the princes, well, now, you know, they never went to the ditty parties to see all those headlines. Don't worry, guys, they didn't go to the ditty parties.

They're like, this is the first good thing that happened to us. The first good thing. The first bad thing we haven't been directly involved in. Yeah, we didn't go to the parties. Yes, we didn't go to the parties. Right, right, right. Well, I was wondering what catapulted the fish fucking into the news. And, you know, Megan Markle, she ain't no fish.

And Megan Markle will do anything to be talked about. So I'm just saying maybe fish. You think she's trying to encourage Harry to fuck a fish to get them back in the news cycle? Well, maybe that's the ritual for success. Maybe Tom Cruise doesn't have a fattish. Maybe this is a ritual that Scientology taught him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he slips his dick inside of the news.

gills while she's making jam. She's like, I'm not selling enough jam, Harry. Right, you have to go do this ritual. Jam that penis, Harry! Or maybe Tom Cruise calls it a ritual for success, but it's really his fetish. But he wants to see what Prince Harry's dick looks like inside the guts of a salmon. When in fish. I do love, there was one I think I did miss maybe in the past.

And I forgot what the name of the fish was that he chose. But they said like, then the thing about that fish is... Like a pommino or whatever, right? It has no teeth. It has no teeth. That particular fish has no teeth. I just thought that was so funny. You'd think he would be going with a fish with no teeth every time.

Right. But it reopens our question of where does he fuck? Where is he fucking it? Because I think he slits it too and puts it in that area, you know? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Last one.

It is too. A pompano. It is toothless. Pompano's toothless, yeah. Last one, what the former A-list actress is really saying is that she is only allowed to go back to acting if her higher on the list husband can watch her. all the time because he is crazy jealous. Whoa. So the jealous husband, he dances and he, you know, he's a dream boat and everybody, you know,

he dances. He looks good in the rain. He's hunky. He's a hunk man. Start naming hunks, modern hunks. He looks good at one of the Hemsworths. We're stuck on the details. I know.

I'm just like dancing, singing in the rain. but I know it's not. I know. It's not what Jane Kelly would never. No, never, never. Nowadays. He's one of the... Singing in the rain.

He's one of the hunk. He's in the rain. He's dancing in the rain. He's dancing in the rain. He's dancing in the rain. He's dancing at Ryan Gosling. Yes. Who is he married to?

Oh, Eva Mendez. Did you know this? Even Mende. Yeah, I had no idea he was married to Eva Mendes. This is so funny. Rolling Stone article had the title. Eva Mendes would only return to acting alongside husband Ryan Gosling. But she also stated in the interview,

I don't mean this in a self-deprecating way. but I wasn't a great actress. I had my moments when I worked with really great people. But she did acknowledge, however, that throughout her career, quote, there was some really, there was some pretty shitty roles. I love that. I love that she's like, you know what? Real talk?

I'm not good at it. But wait, she's saying that she wouldn't go back to acting because he's controlling over her? Well, that's what the blind is saying. She's saying she would only return to do it with her husband. Like, maybe that's just the only thing she's interested. than doing. That is weird. But the blind is saying

that Ryan Gosling's hyper gel. I didn't know they were to... She does say she disliked acting. She literally straight up was like, I don't really like it. I love when people can be that, like, honest and everything. I love that shit.

And, yeah, I had no idea they were married. That, like, blew my mind. That was like partly why I put this... Yeah. She's hot. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I just... I don't think seen them in a lot of pictures. They just don't really keep...

They're not very public with their... Which is great, you know, which good on them. That is, I think, why I never... bring them up because whenever they are talked about, it is all about their privacy. Yeah. And how they both really value their privacy and how, like, that is most of what the headlines are, which is why we never really talk about them.

I mean, she's 50 years old. She's married to her. She looks fucking hot. Putting aside the blind item speculation that he's controlling, because that would obviously be bad. But if you are 50, you had a, like, decently successful career as an actor. You're married to Ryan Gosling, so, like, financially you're fine. Why would you, like, go back to acting?

And you don't like to do it? And you don't like it. You're made in the shade. Live a nice life. Yeah. Hell yeah. Govah. Love it.

Oh yeah. And by the way, I can see again. Welcome back. And I see my friends. Welcome back. And it is time for the podcast to end. It certainly is. You're gonna sing the song with the shrillest voice.

I can. No, this is not good for any of us. What's the bald man. Suck each other again. Thank you guys so much for joining us for this week's episode of phase seven. You are done. You are done and the episode is done. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us, Ponce this day.

Who are your rivals? I think you're looking at him right now. Yeah. A couple of Google image searches. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us today. my name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can come hang out with MJ and I on Twitch.tv slash, oh, no, it's Jackie. On Wednesdays, we play The Sims. And now I can create my own ghost that I get to have sex with.

And you guys know if you've been listening to page 7 for any amount of time that I want to have sex with the ghost. And now it is possible on The Sims. It was possible before, but I didn't ever get to the point to seduce any of the ghosts. So now I get to be my own ghost and I'm going to fuck about the town. So come hang out with us. And please check out my new shows, Who's the Bitch? With Kara Clank new episodes drop every Wednesday, wherever get your podcast, as well as LPN Romantasy Deep Dives, Crescent City. And we are ooh baby getting balls deep into exactly what I want.

And that is a man made out of lightning. Holden? A, please God, I'm back. All right, I'm up to 2,000 followers on Instagram, so I only have 23,000 more to go to get back to where I was. Holdenators Ho with two O's. I'm trying to post more, trying to make it fun and interesting. Holdenaders hoe with two O's on Instagram. Please catch me over there.

And catch me outside. If you want to fucking hear these fists, beat you in your head. What? I'm sorry. Why? What? If you want to test me. How about that?

Yeah, I know what you're referencing. I understand. I've got it. If you want to have it, I'll take it. Consensually, consensually. Consensually, yeah, outside in the way we do it. But anyways, check me out on, well, if you don't want to fight me, follow me on Instagram. Check me out on Holdenade or so on Twitch.

Every Friday, I do jacking with the holdees over there. It's always a blast. We go for five, six hours every Friday. It's fucking on. awesome. Check me out on LPN TV, Tears of a Clown. Please watch the Funhouse on YouTube. I want to get cracking on those views. We're almost to 10K. I want to see how much further we can push it. It is one of my favorite things I've done in a while. God, I love it. Check out Alpine Funhouse on YouTube. Also, also Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast, weekly bonus episodes,

the book club, the ad free, all that shit, and the leftovers as well. And at the $10 layer, got that Buffy watch long and it is crushing through. Oh my God, the wish. That episode was so good. This season is killing it. So come hang out with us. Hey, come hang out on that and I think that's, oh yeah, Paceabapapagast atchema.com, please continue to send in your conspiracy theories. M.J. My name is M.J.

and I'm MJKLKat on Instagram. Thank you guys so much. We love you and we'll be back next week. Happy Halloween. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.