Page 7 - Ep. 558: Baby Come Suck Me

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

This week on Page 7 Holden, Jackie, and MJ discuss Jackie gettin' eyeboned by an Uber driver blasting "Wasn't Me" while in Vegas, where she saw the magical warlock Mr. Piffles and his arcane master Piff The Magic Dragon while sippin' on a liquid headache, MJ Kicks off tales of Heidi Klum Halloweens past and Halloween present including her and Janelle Monáe both wearing E.T. costumes this year, while Jackie talks of the several breakdowns on her path to transforming into an amazing Greta Gremlin! MJ warns Holden against the dangers of metal straws and children, as Holden channels his hatred of endangered turtles and love of disposable straws into art. Mariah Carey, freed from her ice tomb beneath the surface of the moon, claims "It's time" and has begun to attempt to spread a virulent strain of holiday cheer via Mariah's Holiday Bar in five major US cities (which sadly for Jackie and Holden does not include LA), and Raffi, the man who brought us "Banana Phone" is on the search for love and MJ pleads not to be too vulgar about Raffi as he is a sexless being transcendent of light. Plus Campbells Soup is makin' savory candles and Jackie may fall prey to a stuffing scented candle while also making a plan to become a snackfluencer via a livestreamed Holden torture session on the next LPN Funhouse! In Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Why Must Beyonce Always Be Thanked?!?! Big thanks to Queen Bey btw, then over on the LIST; Actors that had to dye their hair or change their appearance in order to get the roles they actually wanted! The Blindz and SHOUTS!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I'm not answering the phone. This song goes out to the Uber driver that was playing it. Whoa. And then kept making eye contact with me from the front seat and doing googly eyebrows. And the song was as follows, Honey came in and she caught me red-handed, creeping with the girl next door. Picture this, we were both but naked banging on the bathroom floor. How could I forget that I had given her an extra key?

This is the lay-miss version. Oh, this time she was standing there and she never took her eyes off me. Hey. Drop the bees. Picture this. We were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor. Guys, how could I forget that I had given her the extra key? Why did he make eye contact with me?

throughout the entire song. Was Jeff not with you? Jeff was with me and I don't know how he was driving while also looking me in the eyes and singing all the words to the song. Was he maybe implying that he thought you were cheating on someone with Jeff? No, no, no.

I think that the Uber driver is the shaggy. Jackie is the lady on the bathroom floor and Jeff is the cucks. So Uber, oh, so me and the Uber driver. were banging on the bathroom floor. Oh, God. And that's how Jeff... How could he forget that he had given you an extra key?

He had ordered the Uber earlier, yes. And why would he choose that driver he knew I was banging on the floor? You're right. This is a much bigger story than just about Shaggy because I was like, that's why I was so confused. It wasn't like he was hitting on me. I didn't feel aggressed towards, I was more curious why he kept waggling his eyebrows at me. And I wanted to be like, stop the car. What do you mean?

What are you implying? I mean, my suggestion doesn't work fully because it's not in the scenario that Shaggy is describing, it's a woman finding the lovemaking and being hurt. Lovemaking is an interesting way to describe it, yes. But in this scenario that I think the Uber driver was imagining, it's a man, and it was Jeff, who is the third, you know. Well, I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm sorry we did this to you. I had no idea.

I know what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But I guess I'm letting it out the bag, y'all. I'm fucking that Uber driver. And this is how I decided to let everybody know I'm a cheat. You're a cheat. Yeah. Yeah. And you know you know.

It always comes back to that idol. It always comes back to idle. And also, you're my disease. I know. Which kind of surprised. You didn't open with that one. It is. Lady Gaga's disease.

No, I've had many, many, like, experiences since I saw you last drunkenly on Friday, Holden. Because I did leave Holden, drunk from Jackin. Yes. And I got on a flight to Vegas. I can't believe. And I went to Vegas for me. Just thinking about that gives me a headache. I can't even have like a single.

glass of wine on a plane or before a plane ride anymore without getting a headache. Or do a thing after a thing. Or do a thing after a thing. A Friday night? I don't want to, yeah. If I go one place, that's the one place I go. Yeah. Yeah, we're a one event a day family. We can do one event today. Yeah, that's a one choice. You make one decision a day. And then the rest you leave to God or mother Gaia or whatever it is. You're welcome. Thank you for bringing up. We all know that's who Jackie worships. Yeah, Mama Guy. Obviously.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think it's worth it to go to Vegas. I think it's worth it to get to be drunk, pour to plane, and go to Vegas because my experience was of Vegas. Yes, everyone else is drinking. Casino owners will tell you that. I just feel like once you get there, you know, bust out that Jackie size bag of edibles, walk around, look at the lights, you feel great.

Right, right. Well, that's exactly what happened. And then you're just walking around a casino because I didn't continue to drink. I just got really, really high. Yeah. And then I was able to, like, people watch and walk around a casino until 2 o'clock in the morning. That's the way. Which is really what, I mean, we go there mostly for the people watching.

It's really what you do. Yeah. And also for the magic. Because we did go see Piff the Magic Dragon. And he's got a little dog. And the dog's name is Mr. Piffles. And Mr. Piffles is a great show dog. And I really, really appreciated.

I didn't think that I was going to like Piff the Magic Dragon because I knew nothing about it. I only knew the phrase Piff, the Magic Dragon. And I said, if it's not an actual dragon doing magic, why the fuck would I want to watch it? He is a man wearing a dragon suit. But I will say, it was a fun show. How did he compare? It's a good gimmick. It's a funny.

And I'm guessing it was a comedy inspired magic show. He is the loser on all of his stuff. It says, like, the loser of America's Got Talent. So he did lose on America's Got Talent. See, that marketing would not. bring me in. All right, right. That would really...

Well, when you're trying to see all the magic shows in Vegas, you know, you gotta take them all. I see. I see. We've got a dream. That's your... Because I know you've seen some of the big guys, the big boys. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

We've seen Penn & Teller. We've seen Chris Angel. Now we've seen Piff the Magic Dragon. And apparently, and hit me up, guys. If you know, like, man, Jackie, you need to check out this magic show. Page 7 Podcast at gmail.com. Let me know, even if it's not in Vegas. I think we're about to go on like a magic journey.

This is what you guys don't understand about people that haven't chosen to have children. You go on a magic journey. You go on weird journeys to try and find yourself as a non-parent because you're like, what am I and what am I doing? We're going to go to all the national parks. Yeah. It's like that. Yeah.

It's these dreams you build for yourself to make you feel like the government isn't telling you that you don't matter. because you're not a pain. But we're not going to get into that right now. It's a weird, it's a weird week, guys. I think we're all aware of what's going on in the before times. We are recording on Tuesday. This is a time capsule episode. And I do feel like I'm in a barrel.

And I'm just on the lip of Niagara Falls, right? I'm just right at the top. I know. I don't even know what to say because I don't want to sound happy and I don't want to sound Sam so I think that because anything could jinx anything so we can't even speak of it you know what I mean I just want to say I feel bad for both of you guys because I think that you really missed out on stepping up your putty game because I have stepped up my putty game from last week's party to this week's putty that has a bunch of little mushrooms inside of it okay and while you play with your putty you look for the hidden gnomes that live in the putty They're called charms, Jackie, and I'm familiar. They're called charms? Yeah.

I think I know a thing or two about charm putty. I think I've got a bin of about 15 slimes behind me, okay? You call them slimes. I call them putty. These are workman's puddies, MJ? MJ's in slime season right now, okay? It is. Slime is a folly compared to a workman's putty.

Okay. You're going to explain? I'm a cuber. I'm a cuber. Oh, my God. Everybody has a toy in their hands. right now. It's like I'm with my children. Yeah. Yeah.

Where's my tablet? Where's my damn it? I want lunch for breakfast. I want it. Where's my show? I want show. Give me show. And oh man, I even just, I just had like a flashback to being a child and screaming about wanting to go and my mom not knowing which show it was that I wanted. But we're not talking about this here. We are talking about Heidi Klum's Halloween costume. And we are going to be talking about all of our. Halloween. Oh, MGM. M.J. How long did you go? I was not able to find a babysitter because of the lateness of the party. It does, it is a 9 p.m. start. And we, and I will say to my family's credit.

And if you show up at 9 p.m., they do pants you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you don't want to be the first one to the Heidi Klum Halloween party. Right. So it's a late start. It's hard to find a babysitter. I did, I really, really wanted to go. I'm really hoping that Gidea and I can make it back next year because we still talk about all the famous people that we saw when we went. And I also, I can't imagine, talk about going to things late, Jackie got getting on a plane to Vegas. That first year when we went to the Heidi Klum Halloween party, I had a four month old, a five month old. And I got my, my brother and his wife to stay over at the house to watch her because I knew we wouldn't get back to like four in the morning. And I can't believe I did that. I just wanted, I'm retroactively proud of

myself. I'm proud of you. All I remember was, all I remember was that hot Batman. making out with that hot cat woman. That's all I remember. I don't remember anything else. I don't remember Questlove. I don't remember. I barely. No, man.

Heidi Clune was an alien. I remember that. I just remember I was really excited that Mariah Carey had reserved all of the tables in the VIP section, but didn't show up and didn't use. So there were just a bunch of unused tables. So good. So what do we think happened with Janelle Monet and Heidi Klum and the ET costume? well I do know one thing that is definitely and I didn't even ask either one of your opinions but I want everyone to know that the page seven official opinion is that Heidi Klum's was much better

than Janelle Monash's. Of course her eyes. It was all this movement. The face is completely moved to her face. When people are like compared Chanel Monet versus Heidi Klum, I'm sorry, Janelle Monet, whoever designed that, it is a great, don't get me wrong. I didn't look that great for Halloween. The person that designed Janelle Monet's fit, a fire designer. But Heidi Klum's outfit was obviously so much more work had gone into it.

So much crazier. It's like bringing a spoon to a knife fight. You know, this is why I'm wondering like literally what happened. Did Janelle Monet not know? Because you would never ever want to try to have the same costume as Heidi Klum. She is unbeatable. She's the best in the game. Everybody knows it.

Every year, it's, oh my God, the year that I, because the year I went, it was before you guys. You guys went the following year and then I couldn't go because I had a newborn, but the year before. And I, I mean, we, Kadyin and I, like, saw the, like, motorcade coming up to the club. And we were like, is the president in town? And then we realized later that was Heidi Kloom. What did she, what was she, did she go as your year? She was Fiona from Shrek. Yes, that's right.

Yeah, that was so, it was like the, it was like the coolest thing I've ever seen. before my eyes. You know, you just can't, like, so that's why I want to know literally what happened. Janelle Monet is an incredible, and her looks are always stunning. So I'm like, what were we doing? Was this a mistake?

Because I imagine that the Heidi Klum costume plans are like more classified than the nuclear codes, you know? I think that, like, that's, I think how, when people are like, how did it happen? How did it? It's because it's all under wraps. It's all like, there's no,

like nobody knows what. So it was just an accident that they both did. dressed up as E.T. for Halloween. And I hate to say that this can't happen for you again, MJ, but I just want to say, if you can dream it, you can be it because Jeff and I did walk into a Shrek rave over the weekend. So if you can like really see yourself in this place where you show up and maybe you're the Heidi Klum dressed as Fiona at the Shrek rave. And then, you know, what a beautiful life it could be. I mean, this is your...

it's a beautiful life. It looked like I had walked into Shrek. She looked so good. So good. I will say too, I didn't think to watch it in motion. I'd only seen all the still photos. It's insane. I know.

How does the technology work here that she, as she moves her mouth, the mouth moves. I thought the eyeballs were maybe moving independently of... No, no, her, it moves to her face. How does that work? So as she's talking, the whole face is more.

I want to know who is more upset. Janelle Monet for getting upstaged by Heidi Klum's costume or Heidi Klum the day. Because the Janelle Monet like shot was the day before. In comparison to, it really does look sad. It looks like a Spirit Halloween costume compared. I finally get her E.T. And I'm like, that E.T looks like shit. I'm like literally how did this happen?

We have to make sure this never happens. A costume that I've ever worn. Oh, yes. It was an incredible costume. costume I would ever dream of wearing and yet because of how crazy the clip. So I would think that Janelle Monet would be like, come on. He's more upset. It's totally overshadowed.

Oh, yeah. I think that's right. But also imagine you're Haydick Kloom and you see that day before your party and you're like, oh, shit. See, I feel like I would go, hell yeah, dude, I'm going to kick this costume's ass. This is kind of great. Yeah, but who wants to feud with Janelle Mone? No one. Definitely no one.

I root. No one. I root for both of them. You know, I don't want to have to compare them. Also, different versions of delightful, wonderful celebrities. I will give her, you know, it's like, Janelle Monet, just regular E.T. And Heidi Klum was like the dressed up one.

The dressed up as a lady one. But she was with her husband, right? Is she married to that guy? That young man, that strapping young man that just probably just. Yeah, he's always part. I also love her costumes because he's just. I have to have sucks at times. at times a day.

He's just along for the ride. He always looks great too, but he's obviously just like a, he's a tool to her vision. Our most partners. It's just, you are in the presence of greatness. And her vision is sex,

because apparently she needs it constantly. Remember that? I always thinking about that guy, I'm like, that guy is a professional, like, ball trainer. Like, that's what he, that's his sole purpose. Yeah, is to just ejaculate from himself.

Just over and over. Don't say the word ejaculate in front of double E. Okay, can we not? All right. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is.

I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits.

Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network, so subscribe

now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. It's enough to be like having a celebrity that hot would be enough. But then to have her also be that creative. Like I love the Heidi Klum Halloween party, you know, A, because it's the. closest I've been to celebrity greatness.

And B, because I just, like, it just makes me like her so much. It's so creative. It's so fun. Everyone, everyone's costumes are good. That's the other thing about going is like, you got to have, you can't just be wearing a Target costume. You know, it's tough. You got a, you got a real good costume.

And that is intimidated. We had quite a few people turn up at our Halloween party this year. We had quite the experience. Holden and I went to an aerial show put on by one Natalie Jean and we went to this costume party. And you know what? I'm going to say it. Lexi did a wonderful job putting Holton into a costume this year. I will say she did a very good job.

Yes. She finally put, I am fucking six with Halloween now. I don't know what, I'm just broken with Halloween. And it always sneaks up on me. and I'm always like flabbergasted by it, but yes, when he said, I want to be a ghost, and Lexa didn't want to do the sheet, you know, she was like, let's not go that route.

I don't want my toddler just running around in traffic, you know, with just a big sheet on her head. So she dressed her up in this cool little ghost dress, and we were like, she's very into haunted mansion right now. So she's very curious about the goings-on of the haunted mansion, and she wonders what, what spooky, ghost are in there. So we were very like kind of Victorian style.

That's cool. Yeah. They looked like, they talked like this. Although I'm pretty sure I didn't wash my face makeup off and then went to five guys the next day. Ew, Holden. So I look positively.

Men at Halloween. No, every year the men of my life at Halloween come to reach my house and they're like, please help me put on the makeup. And I'm like coming to the wrong non-man's house to help you put on makeup. the concept of this. I'm not the one to help you, and then I help.

And then at the end of the night, it's all, it's everywhere. It's all over their clothes. They have no plan for how to take it off. They're too tired to take it, too drunk or too tired to take it off. It gets all over their pillow. This happens every year.

It's the man's, it's the cis man's Halloween. You give yourself like a week's worth of like facial disruption because you don't have a plan. And we always need makeup. Yeah, yeah. We always, oh, I had boils. I had a whole other costume than I, day. I had, it was just body heart over here. I will say, um, I, my partner this year did promise me that

next year his costume will be a lot more intensive because my costume took on, it took me hours to put together. I was Greta Gremlin. And you should check out Jack that worm on Instagram if you want to see, um, the, I'm going to say just the job that I did because I'm not going to say, it looked great. It was great. out, but I need, and I kept making this joke at the party, I had to redo my makeup. And I think a lot of people understood, and I felt very validated, because I kept crying because the makeup wasn't looking the way I wanted the makeup to look, but then through crying would mess up the makeup further. And then I'd cry more because I'd mess up the makeup further. And then I had to take, I had to completely take off the makeup twice because of how much I cried.

You can still have like a Halloween in the style of your early 20s. Certainly. And I was soberly doing it. Like I wasn't crying because I was so drunk. I was soberly in the middle. Because like our first party, we had to be there like six because they were doing like, you know,

things for like trick or treaters and stuff like that. Yeah, I was going to say, please, I was out on the streets by 5 p.m. So don't talk to me about an early start. But I couldn't because I had to put, I also had a full day of work.

And I was like, I got to get work done. I have to get this makeup. It was just one of those. And so next year, Jeff promised that his is going to be more intensive. Now, I'm not going to say what it's going to be. But yes, it certainly is going to be more intensive. You already know.

We already came up with us. Wow. That's a good idea. You should do, oh my gosh, this is just hitting me. The way that Jackie, one of my favorite fun facts about Jackie, is that she keeps a little notebook all year. And when she thinks of a good gift idea for someone, she writes it down so that come holiday time, she knows what to get. and it's the smartest thing I've ever heard. And yet, no, I haven't started doing it in the 12 years since I learned that she does this.

I cannot. No, I wish I could do it, yes, but am I? No, I know. I know I need to get the little note first step. Get a little notebook. Where do I keep the little notebook? This was like. The notepads, you use the notepads on your phone.

I don't even have a notebook anymore. Like, it's just the notes on my phone. This is like when I started complaining about paper straws and everybody started telling me I need to keep a full utensil drawer somehow on my person. No, don't. use metal straws, they will impale your child. Don't use them. Get rid of your metal straws. Yeah, I don't

want to use anything. I don't want to do any of it. I certainly am not going to get, and they're like, here, it's a collapsible fork and spoon. You can keep your teeth. I do keep silverware. I do keep silver wearing my bag. Holden was screaming. Holden was drunkenly screaming about how he loves to kill the turtles,

how he loves to throw straws into the ocean. Yeah, this is when you like briefly channel, Holden is not an outright man, but every so often he'll just briefly channel a podcast bro. Yeah, channel like a podcast bro take of that. My disdain for turtles because of what they've done to the straw industry. Oh, you're mad at the turtles.

You're not mad at the humans who made the decisions. You're mad at the turtles themselves. Yeah, no, this is what I'm mad. They keep snorting all the Coke off all their turtle shells. I'm mad that we just randomly choose dumb things to inconvenience our lives at the sake of like doing better when it's like that's not the thing that's going to change the world. Like you saw a video of a turtle with a straw. I know it's a setting video.

I need to finish my thought. We all know that you don't like the paper straws. But what I was saying was that we should also keep a notebook all year for when we think of good Halloween costumes. Yes. Oh, yes. And or just have a note because I also write down on Halloween costumes. I just came up with it.

I'll make when he can be a straw and all. be a dead turtle. I'm sure Winnie, when she's four, is going to love being a straw for her home. She's already told me I have to be a chicken next year. You're going to be really good to be a chicken. Yeah, I know. I'll be great. For some reason, she needs me to be a chicken next year. But man, I would love, if anybody wants to do a couple's costume and do a straw, dead turtle thing. Oh, yeah, do it and then tag us in it because we need to see the picture

of it. Yes, please. Plan that for next year. Please, I'm begging you. I've already started writing, talk about writing. down ideas for whatever my Thanksgiving special is going to be next year because Heidi Klum, you beautiful, amazing bitch, you got Halloween. And talk about amazing, beautiful bitches, of course. Who shows her ragged little head that is now all melted out of her eyes? Oh, it's Mariah Carey. And this beautiful bitch, man, she knows what she's doing.

It, like, spoke to my goth girl, but you know how I feel about. the turkey washing of this holiday and watching Mariah Carey become Mortisha Adams, which is something I never knew that I needed. And then, of course, her doing her, it's time. How does she do it that way? No. I wish she could do it in another way. She is already welcoming in the holiday season, the Christmas holiday season. and I am. She's also selling shirts now that say it's time on it. Ooh.

Which I did think about because I do already have a Mimi, pink, fuzzy bucket hat that I had originally purchased for Natalie Jean, but I liked it so much I kept it for myself. Well, what we got to do is she's doing these little pop-up Christmas bars. God damn it, MD! You are not the only one who. has a moral imperative to go, I will also be going. And I think that we should try to synchronize it, Jackie, so that we can go, I can go in New York, you can go in L.A. Hold on, you can go in L.A. too. And we'll all get on like a little face time. I don't think there

is one in L.A. This is the problem because so Mariah Carey is having pop-ups inside of Virgin Hotels. Currently, it's going to be in partnership with Mariah Carey's Black Irish holiday booze. And so currently right now, we know there's going to be one in Chicago, Dallas, New York, City, Nashville, and New Orleans. And I am pissed. I'm gonna be there. I will say, how did Clem's husband better have some keep having pop-ups or he's gonna be out of a job if you know what I mean?

No, he's more than that. I don't think he has any problem. Isn't he like a bandsman? I don't remember. Oh, yeah, yeah, he's a musician. He's a hunk. I'm just in love of them. I think I'm just in love of them.

But I will say those cocktails at those pop-ups are going to make you so sick. I know. Also, yeah, he's in Tokyo Hotel, by the way. Oh, good for him. Tom Collets. Okay, this entire thing sounds delightful, though. I know it'll make me puke. It's going to be a real rum chunka situation.

But the holiday theme displays will be picture perfect and full of interactive activities according to the press release. For example, fans can pose on an oversized wreath to recreate Carrie's magical Christmas special album cover or pen a note to the star in the letters to Mariah Station. Because, of course, there's a dedicated... Letters to Mariah Station. I've got so far we have to write her letters like she's Santa Claus. I love it.

I love. I have to go. Why are you writing? What are you going to say in the Mariah Carey letter though? What are you going to write her? Literally, I will ask her for her wishes towards my Thanksgiving special. I need her to recognize me. Yeah, I was going to say, are you going to go on like November 10th?

I'm sure they'll be open. Also, the cocktails. The pop-up spots will serve a range of cocktails made with the obsessed singer's Irish cream liqueur. Festive drinks like a candy cane-rimmed espresso martini. Jackie, you love an espresso martini. Okay, you say this, but I was literally, right before we recorded, talking about how I went to Vegas over the weekend, and I told Jeff I wanted the dumbest drink possible. We found a speakeasy inside of a place called I Love Sugar that only sells candy martinis. and I bought a dry iced foaming filled with eyeballs and gummy worms candy martini that I enjoyed more than life itself, MJ.

Did you get a headache afterwards? Yes. Oh, my God. The craziest part is that in Vegas, they just put in a to go cup for you. So you could take the tea and go. And then I took all the eyeballs and all the gummy worms that were a part of it. and I put them separately into a bag so I could suck out the tequila from them

while I watch the Piffin Magic Dragon Show. So MJ, everything you're saying, I need, I need, I need, I need, I need. I also like a candy cane alcoholic coffee drink so I support it. There's an Irish coffee sprinkled with edible flowers. There's a glitter and candy cane-tapped white chocolate martini, a cinnamon-spiced tequila espresso martini,

and a slated caramel bourbon martini. Yeah, it's all just like... Oh, the headaches. I can feel them already. I have to go. And what am I going to do? Drive to Dallas?

Right. Yeah. Why isn't there one in Los Angeles, Mariah? And there's not one in Vegas. There's one in Vegas either. No. I will say to shout out to Mariah Carey's wax figure, her new wax figure.

I've never... It looks just like her. I've never... Well, that is because she herself is 80% plastic at this point. And it is so funny. I've never seen someone match their Madame Tussau's wax figure so hard as Mariah Carey does. Yeah.

You literally can't tell who the real woman is and who the wax figure is because she is literally laminate at this point. It's only in those five cities. What am I going to? You're going to fly out and visit me. I can't. You got to. Fly out and visit me.

I fly to L.A. to visit you. You have to fly out here. We're going to get ourselves a terrible headache together. Guys, what if we all fly to New Orleans? Everyone else flew to New Orleans for the Airs Tour, but we're going to fly to New Orleans for the Mariah Carey pop up. For the Mariah pop up. I will do it for the pop-up.

I have to have it. I need to send a letter to Mariah, and I need to have a picture. This is my problem. You know, I want to, like, yell about, like, capitalism. How dare they do these things? And then, you know, I saw that the Sims was selling a $70 sweatshirt that said woohoo on it. And I saved up for it so that I could buy it so that I could buy a sweater that said woohoo on it. So this is really, again, you know, exploring the life of a person in their late 30s that doesn't have children.

That's just kind of, you know, winding their way through life. Yes. You know, is it, is it that I am rewardless? Is it that I am smileless? Sure. But, man, what a way to go down on what a, like, beautiful, like, beautiful sinking ship than is set off by. I think it's, I think it's great. And you know what?

Listen, I've got children in my life and I'm going to go to one of these pop-ups. And guess what? The New York City one is $10 more than all the other ones. So maybe we shouldn't buy to New Orleans. It's $20 for a 90-minute slot at all of the other ones. And it's $30 in New York City, but it comes with a complimentary cocktail. And honestly, in New York City, that's a great deal. That's a great deal.

I'll take the complimentary cocktail. I mean, give it to me. Please, anything that's complimentary, I'll take it. Complementary, but they don't usually like to do. Oh, you've got great hair and lovely eyes. Thank you. Oh, my God. Complementary, I'll take it.

Holden, I like your lips. Oh, yeah. But I only like one and two. Those are my compliments, the top one in the bottom. Yeah, they're good. Eating cocks. I bet they are. That's perfect because I was about to talk about Rafi, the musician, who is looking for love.

And maybe he's looking for your lips, Holden McNeely. Maybe. I would love to suck his dick. I did say in my explanation of the article link, sorry, but something about thinking about the man that sang, shake your sillies out. Shake my sillies out. Plowing some old broads yucks me out. Yeah. And I'm happy for Rafi because, of course, I want his dick to get sucked.

I want to have it. I need everybody to stop talking so vulgarly about Rafi, okay? Just because he's looking for love does not mean he's a horn dog. Raffy is a lovely, I have followed Raffy closely as an adult. I was delighted. What if he's saying? Baby, come suck me. Yeah, yeah.

No, I need to stop you. I want to eat. Eat your vagina. No. No. No. I will turn, I will hang up. I will get off the call.

He's a great man. He has good politics. He's a sweetheart. All right, cool. It's like, part of me is like, is there a secret darkness here? No, bad. No, would we not know? What's his romantic history?

And it's that he, what, did get divorced in the 90s? So decades have passed. Ships have sailed around the world multiple times. Get him on the Golden Bachelor. Yes. They need a Bachelor for the next season. I don't know. I think the Golden Bachelor needs to be taken out of its.

misery. Every episode starts with weeping. Against Joan. Every episode starts with weeping. This time it was Joe, literally there's no music. Yeah, I know I literally cry. I know I literally cried while I watched it. That's like, you know how they open every episode. I have now started and stopped the Golden Bachelorette three times. Oh, my dear. I've tried and then I thought, you know what, this is too dark for me. Yeah. And then I've, and then I try it again. And I'm like, you know, I can't. And then I try to get up. Spark of love is sad for you. I'm all caught up and I don't. and I don't, I have a bad feeling about Chalk.

We'll talk about it later, but I don't, I, I, I, I, we're going to talk about it later. Chalk is throwing red flags at this guy. I don't think so. I don't think you know what it's like to need to be loved. Holden. I don't think you understand. Yeah, I'm, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't need to be loved.

Because you have a partner. You just, because you don't have children doesn't hire. I have a partner, but wait until I'm the Joan. Right. Because then what, imagine me sitting. sitting here talking about Jeff and how much I love Jeff and how all the fun that we have and then I just like cry as I look at Pascal

and think that maybe Pascal could ever step into Jeff's fucking shoes. I don't think so. I know. Jonas. Don't make fun of that scene. We're going to talk about the Golden Bachelorette on talking TV. I am fully caught up and I still don't know why. I'm still have no idea why I'm caught up on the show and why I keep watching it. And that's why Raffy needs to get on the show. I want to watch him kissing.

Raffy is a catch. Raffy is a catch. He cares, so he does all sorts of like, you know, children's, like, policy, advocacy. How would you honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, honestly, let's say you have a child that still listens to Raffy's music. Would you try to bang Raffie? No, he's a sexless person. Yeah, that's the problem.

I'm actually disturbed by, that's why I'm so disturbed. by the way you two are talking about him. I like that he says that he's looking for love, but I like to believe that he is ace. Like I just can't. Yeah, yeah. But even, you know, Mr. Rogers had a wife, so I know that those people do, they can get down.

Yeah, they matriculate. The flawless children's entertainers is what I mean. They can get down. And if he wants to get down, that's fine. But he might just. Just imagine Rafi in between your legs going, I like to eat, eight. No.

I must stop you. It hurts me. No, but I bet you're right. I bet he looks like, he looks like a very sweet soft man. And I bet he has a cool, like, vibe to him. I bet he has, like, a lot of land. I bet he has, like, a school bus that he turned into a garden. You know what I mean?

Like, stuff like that. Totally. Rafi must be friends with, like, all of those guys. Think of how many plow downs. This man has gone. talking about peanut butter jelly sandwich time. Yeah, man, smear it on, smear it on. My God.

Yeah, we like it thick. I just, so he's probably had a really cool life, even though when we think of Rafi, we think of, you know, trouble with my foot. There was something in my shoes. So if any ladies listen. And I shook it. Well, look it, look it.

Any ladies listen, if you're like an old bag, like a tired old, windbag and you're still looking for love. Like me, yes. Hit up Rafi, you know what you mean? To get thirsty for Rafi, if you're just some old haggard, just tired, droopy wench. You, you know, you're listed right now. You say this, but I think that Rafi can get some hard, tight play. Right.

If that is what he wishes for, you think? I don't know. You think he's got many riches? Are we, is this like a, I would assume. He made you. Two VHS specials and those albums. I think he doesn't have an extensive discography. Estimated net worth 25 mil.

Yeah, that's what I would have thought. I mean, I would think 25 mil. You make a lot of money if you are the person. All of his books, CDs, tapes, videos, DVDs. Yeah, now Spotify probably mucked it up a bit. But like, yeah, come on. You're the shake your sillies out guy. I mean, you're fucking got to be rolling in it.

I love that you guys keep citing shake your. Siddly's out. I feel like it's a bit of a deep cut. Banana phone is his real hit. See, I always saw. I can't even. That sounds like pure filth. Banana throat. Ring, ring, ring, ring.

Banana phone. Yeah, you know banana. Banana phone. No, no one's sitting on a banana hold. Yeah, they were talking on a banana. Yeah, they were talking about the banana girl. Ring, ring, ring. Get that banana in my hole.

Yeah, exactly. I don't know about any of this now. I'm kind of worried he's a bit of a bit of a pervert now. No. And he does have a last name. I thought that maybe he was just a, like a one, you know, one name dude. No.

Like, what's his last name? Is it sex? Yeah, it is. Rafi's sex. And I understand why they don't usually include it. I think that maybe you shouldn't have his last name and stuff. Maybe the kids would have questions. He has a whole really interesting history, like political history.

Like, he, Rafi. deserves better than this conversation about Rafi. You guys think our lives are going to be like terrible in five days? What do you guys think is going to do? We're not thinking about that. We're not thinking about that. What if everyone's upset? What if everyone's upset in the future?

And now we're talking about Rafi fucking. And now everyone's more upset. Right. And they'll have to have stomach us scream about Rafi's vagina eating abilities. No, you're going to have to stomach us talking about Campbell's soup making candles. How many.

How many fomomish? inducing topics are we going to bring up this fucking deposition. I'm trying to very loosely. And by trying to, I mean, I keep taking pictures of me eating crazy foods and not doing anything with it. I want to become a snack. You want to become a snack fluencer.

And I feel like if I am a snack fluencer, I need to be abreast of things like Campbell's soup coming out with candles so that your whole house can smell like canned soup. And I don't know one person. and you're shaking your head, MJ, as if you wouldn't, I don't know one person that doesn't want their house smelling. Like, it's been steeped on the inside of a cam. I already, I love like a, like a,

shoot-in fucking cookie candle, you know, like I love a... Yeah, what are your favorite candles? Snickerdoodle. Yeah, you're more in the sweets. Yeah, like a warm cinnamon. But even then, I feel like oftentimes, the time I want to light a, candle is when I'm cooking dinner. And I'm often like, I don't, I'm going to be, I'm about to be cooking dinner. I don't want a vanilla waft going all through the house, right? Don't want that

waft. It's a competing waft. I'm calling bull ass on these candle smells. I don't think they, I think they're trying to act like it's a weird thing. You are bull ass. Holden McGilley. I'm calling bull ass on it. Because look, the jalapeno cheddar mac and cheese candle sounds atrocious, sounds like vomit is terrible, right? That's my favorite one. It's just a spiced can. It's just a spicy. It's candle. That's the best one. It's the spiced aroma. You want a green bean casserole smell in during your whole house? A rich savory inspired by a class. I fuck with the stuffing candle. There is an apple, fennel, an herb stuffing candle. That's just going to be, like, if you think about it, they're just going to be the same kind of candle

smells you normally get. They're just called this. No. That's all that they're just called Apple. It doesn't say that. It doesn't say that. It says the smell of savory, phenyl, thyme, and rosemary, and the stuffing inspired candle. Stuffing inspired. transport you just think stuffing adjacent but it's not I need one how do I get one I am capitalism how do I get it when do you want your house to smell like the candle smell though is my point I think at night maybe I want my house to smell like a vanilla cookie but like I don't want that if I'm cooking dinner do I want my house after dinner when I'm watching

TV and relaxing or reading a book do I want my house to then smell like green bean casserole I've already eaten Yankee candle also did oh my god you guys there's There's a whole world of stuffing candles out there that I had no idea existed. Now, I'm making jokes about wanting these candles. But now I'm like, do I actually get one of these candles and see what it actually smells like? Because as someone that like last week I drank a blood bag, not scary, did it for the snack fluencing. And then I had my candy, martini, did it for the snack fluencing, even though I'm not snack fluencing. Yeah, that's the problem.

but I don't think did anyone then get inspired to... I'm looking at Ninky Candle's website. Have the blood bag? In fact, let me know page 7 podcast at gmail.com. How inspired are you by my idea of becoming a snack fluencer? Yeah, what you need is other people taking pictures of themselves,

indulging in these things and then saying Jackie, you know, inspired me. So guys, if you guys could do that, like if you feel inspired, like if you're about to eat something that's really crazy, like Jackie would love this, or if there's a hot dog in it, take a picture up and say it to me. Of the types of the smells come in categories. Citrus, floral, fresh and clean, fruity, woody, and sweet and spicy. There are no savory candles. It can't be done. Campbell's is going to try.

I'm looking at Village Candle, Savory Stuffing Candle right now. I'm about to purchase this. Get it. What category is under? Do you want to influence anything to anybody? I don't, I'm not going to get it. The category is stuffing. See a tag Jackie in your.

Instagram post, be like, Jackie, Jackie got me to do it. You know, hashtag snack fluencer. Trying to become a snack fluencer. I really think that, like, and I, uh, I do it all for the snacks, the what, the snacks. And is this a reason for me to eat crazy snacks? I don't know. Yeah. You damn fucking right.

My problem is I just follow so many snack fluencers and I, it's the only thing I stop following all celebrities on social media. Can I just highly recommend to everybody out there? there that is trying to not eat snacks, follow snack influencers. And you think, why would I want to do that? Because then I'm going to want to eat all the snacks. Yes, but it kind of makes you feel like you're eating the snacks when you watch the snack fluencers eating all the snacks.

Well, that's what I used to say when I would watch the Food Network. But looking back, I think that might have been a side of unhealthy relationship with food on my part. Whoa. Do I talk about it in therapy every single week? Maybe. Yes, I do, MJ. Maybe, yes, I do.

but we're all just trying to figure out how to get through the day. I think that you should, you exist in the realm of alcoholic snack fluencing specifically. I guess, but I also, that's not true because I actually go when I see all the different candy, like the new Oreo flavors, things like that,

I go out and I find them. Okay, yeah. And I do like spend some of my own time looking for snacks. By the way, can I throw it out there? I'm, I decided I'm going to be an anti-snack influencer. If you decided not to have anything that day, not to eat at all. No, no, that's bad. And I know, hey, at Holden, I ate nothing today.

No, share your snacks, share your smile, share your happiness with us, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. And let me know which one of the, are you going to get a green bean casserole? You're going to get a jalapeno mac and cheese? Are we getting an apple, fennel, and herb stuffing cato? Are we going to get an everything bagel seasoned mashed potatoes? See, this, I'm surprised, MJ, that's really where I put my pulse. I would do it. Because then it just smells like everything bagel.

That's fine. It smells like everything bagel. Tell me how they bring in the mashed potato to make it also smell like mashed potato as well as everything bagel. I want all of it. I think that they're playing us. I think that, you know, again, I think Holden's really. I think Holden's right about it. You make a jalapeno scented candle.

It can't be a jalapeno mac and cheese scented candle. Also, who's putting a can of soup in your mac and cheese root? Use flour. I thought you were saying I was right about skipping a day. No. Just try it one day without any nutrients. No. Absolutely not.

Ew. You have to eat the candles now. No. They can drink water like a little bit, though. Only drink like a little cup of water. No, I don't know if you know this all day, but also water makes it. You get you fat. So maybe take the water away.

Run like five miles after you drink it to sweat it all out. Yeah, sweat it all out. Make sure I really, yeah, that's what I'm here for. I want to influence bad decisions. Well, this isn't about losing weight. Anyways. But this isn't about losing weight. This is about just saying no to eating.

Yeah, yeah. This is about just like. Get so hungry you eat the candles. Okay, okay. I have the idea. We get holding high. Okay. And then we put them in.

This is not about depriving oneself of food. This is just an experiment to have fun with Holden. We get them real high. We put them in a room with the savory, yummy candles. And then we don't get a call. And just see what had. Dog shock collar is like,

now you got me in. Now you got me in. See, here's the thing. That's next LPN Funhouse, Holden. That's what we do. No one eats for like five days leading up to the funhouse. And then we put it like five days. Five days.

And then we put out a buffet. Like, we make it like a sizzling. And then we see if Holder eats the candle. It's only candles and everything is also like you're going to get shocked if you go towards any of it. That is maniacal. Can I? All right. Okay.

I get it. I'm coming off like a maniac. Here, I'll add an addendum to my anti-snack fluencer campaign. You can drink. You can drink beer. You can drink wine. You can drink vodka. That's bad.

Just no eating. That was my 20s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I lost weight in my 20s. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. So there's a horrible way. And I would say, you know, take a flight that day. Be in public that day. You know what I mean? Really get out to go to the mall. I'm talking about my Vegas day? Yeah, yeah.

Uber to the mall. You know, something like that and just be around people because that's going to fill you up more than any snack ever could. Oh, God. Fill me up spiritually. I do love my cup to be full. But I also love a celebrity conspiracy. Oh, geez. I'm so sorry.

I got completely lost in the size. Oh, geez. It's Bull ass. Bull ass Holden McNeely is here today, everybody. Oh, my God. Give it up for Bulls. I got lost in it. Hit me with the share.

Do you, Buzz? Leave it. Why must Beyonce always be thanked? The fuck's up with that. What? This one comes in from Kayla who writes, Hey, Lovelies. I'm sure you have heard this,

but just in case, everyone thanking Beyonce is so fucking weird in all their speeches. People are pointing out that some people are looking, quote, scared, end quote, when they are giving their speeches, thanking her.

Adele, Brit, Brit, I'm not totally sure why everyone needs to. Like, what will happen to them exactly. But did you see Jojo Siwa thank her, quote, to save the dance community? What is that? Then there is also a thing about Kanye saving Taylor because there was no way she was going to know that she had to thank Beyonce. So that's why he ran up on stage to save her life. This is all pretty whack, but I think it's interesting. And the videos of people's speeches are weird. Love you all so much, Kayla. P.S., please can you come out with sick

merch. I constantly am checking and I feel like you have some amazing stuff that could be happening. I am not artsy enough to design anything, but please, in all caps. Absolutely. We'll get on that. Why, guys, this is kind of a conspiracy for you to try to posit an answer to. Why must everyone thank, even though it doesn't really seem like, you know, like, why is Adele thanking Beyonce? You know what I mean? Beyonce, like, what's going on there? Do you think there was just like a huge picture of Beyonce at the Diddy Parties? And it was like you always had to think. thank Beyonce to make sure. Wow, we're just birding bridges today. We're talking about Rafi's sexuality. We're holding to talk about not eating and now you're affiliating

Beyonce with those nightmares. People thank Beyonce because she's Beyonce. There is no explanation needed. I'll thank her. I'll thank her right now. Thank you, Beyonce for me, Beyonce. Thank you, Beyonce. Thank you, Beyonce. I pulled it up on Reddit. The theory is that they are forced to do that to save themselves from being murdered or sacrificed. I'm sure the Eliminati. Or whatever by her. You know what I'm thanking Beyonce for? I'm thinking Beyonce for dressing up as both Prince and Apollonia for, like, from

Purple Rain for Halloween. And that's what I'm thanking Beyonce for this week. So that's my, and I just, I hope she heard me. I thank her this week. Yeah, I thank her too. Thank you, Beyonce for influencing me to influence people not to eat snacks. I feel like you had something to do with that. Love Cowboy Carter.

And thank you, Beyonce, for giving me. the reason to become a found a reason to snack. And that is to make sure that Holden never succeeds. But that's the thing. I feel like in order for you to become a snack fluencer,

it's like Batman needs Joker. You're not going to become a snack fluencer unless you're out there fighting a war against me trying to convince people not to eat snacks. I think that your anti-snack fluencer isn't eating nothing. It's eating boring stuff. Boring food. Yeah, go eat your white bread.

White bread. Like brand muffins and stuff. Vodka in a glass and then go to the mall. Again, I was too cool in my 20s and that was the diet that I followed. And also, you can't go to the mall if you're not eating snacks. That's what I'm saying. You need a bobo. Yeah, you have to challenge yourself.

You know what I mean? It's like a chastity belt situation. But, you know, maybe you could wear like a hand-em-electer mask, you know, keep the mouth in a cage kind of situation. Because I bite. Yeah, you better watch out. I do see that there is a reason to be scared of Beyonce, but I feel that way about Beyonce in the same way I feel about like a Martha Stewart.

Yeah, even though we know Martha Stewart is mean, but Beyonce is like as close to, I would say, like a monarchy as we come to, you know, I feel like in America, our celebrities are seen as royal. and Beyonce is up there. She is one of the big bads of the people that I dare say that like, you know, well, if you ain't believing in God,

you most likely can believe in Beyonce because she's right there and she's fucking killing. Do you guys remember the clip that was, it was like a very short two to three seconds, but it's her in like a collaborative writing meeting and Blue Ivy is there and is like saying her opinion on something in a rather heated way.

And Beyonce just holds out her hand and says, I respect your opinion, but you need to calm down. And everyone was like, that's gentle parenting. That's gentle parenting. But also in the middle of everything to be able to like, to like patiently say that. And she says it was such like self possession. And it's not me and it's not scary.

It actually is very like calm and collected. But it did make me like want to be disciplined by Beyonce. Right. And it was like, I'll stand at attention, whatever you need from me. Yeah. Because I feel like I've said this before too, where I don't even talk about, like, being sexually attracted to Beyonce

because I feel that she is on such a different level of humanity that I could ever be on. Have you seen the music video for ego, though? Oh, no, I'm not saying I don't think. But she's very much so. She's like ethereal. I mean, it's kind of the same, you know, again, you know, with T-Swift, I don't have, like,

I think she's beautiful, but I'm not like, I don't know, she just exists on, like a whole other level. This is the Adel portion of the speech, by the way. So she gets, she wins album of the year at the Grammys and says, I can't possibly accept this award and I'm very humbled and I'm very grateful. Was this the year

because Beyonce was up for it. It was because she lost. And she was and no one expected her to and Adele was like horrified. The artist of my life is Beyonce. Yes. Yeah. This is not. It was limine. It was the year that lemonade. Literally she was, I remember this I remember this too. Beyonce was sitting in the

front row and she's looking at Beyonce who had just lost and was like, I don't, you deserve this. Yes. You should have gotten this. And that's what happened. I remember this too. It wasn't just like, you have to think Beyonce. It was that it was lemonade and that Adele didn't want to lose to Beyonce. Aluminante.

Because she likes Beyonce. Aluminate. So also you have to remember everything that happened with Taylor Swift as well that like that is a fear of like, even though, that had nothing that wasn't Beyonce that did that. She was a part of what happened with Kanye and I imagine there's also like I'd fucking think her just in case.

But I did think I was weird to think. I don't know but she wasn't part of it. She was just she was like what is con you know I don't think that she was like yeah good job Kanye. But she was a part of the country. Part of the picture. Yeah, in the picture. She is in the picture. But is that so weird with the Kanye thing with the Adele thing, how many times

it's been this situation we're like who is. else loses an award and everyone's like, oh, I'm sorry, you know what I mean? That is something that consistently happens. Every time Beyonce loses, people are very upset. Yeah. And that everybody who wins feels. And they're scared.

Yeah, scared. But I don't know. I mean, the people know I'm the Beyonce apologist on the show. Right. If I was Taylor and I won over single ladies, I would also feel bad. If I was a talent and I won over lemonade, I would also feel bad. I'm sorry, but we're talking about masterpieces here. You belong with me.

It is like, it is. You belong with me as the lemonade of our time. I would say that you belong with me as the lemonade of Taylor Swift's discography, maybe. I don't know. But not even. Not even. Yeah, not even.

It was weird at the end of Adele speech when she was like, also I want to thank Alini and Elephantine in the jungalini. That was a little bizarre. Yeah, yeah. She got all high pitch. I could just say. Also, I will say, Holden and I sing, Like a disease is because we were very hungover on Jackin,

and we were, the Lady Gaga music video dropped, and the new song, disease is great. It is very much like an old Gaga song, and we just kept singing it over and over again because we were very hungover. Wait, where were you hung over? It was the day after Halloween. Halloween.

Oh, okay. So you had just not yet gotten drunk. And so we were singing it until we got drunk. And then we got drunk. So we magically stopped singing it because we didn't have a disease anymore. I did see a video of Gaga, like, practicing because she was at one of the rallies in Pennsylvania,

a Kamala rally. And I saw, it was just her alone on stage at the piano, just going, I'm on the edge of glory. And I was like, oh God, this is kind of embarrassing. Gaga can never be embarrassing unless it's an elephantini.

In the jungle. Yeah, I was going to say, I think Gaga could be embarrassing. And don't get me wrong. love Lady Gaga. By the way, do we even talk about how in both of her embarrassing movies, she gets fucked in the exact same, like, position? Like, not even, like, not only does she have a really awkward, like, uncomfortable sex

scene, but it's the exact same way. Like, she's sitting on a, on a thing and the guys. Interesting that you remembered both of them. What are you? Of course, I remember both of them. It was just, it's so funny. Like, why they need her to, like, sit and get fucked. in these bad movies.

It's probably just the easiest way to hide a dick and hide a penis or whatever. I mean, I guess. If you're sitting up. It's my disease. Yes. You want to see my disease?

Is it time for a listalini in the jungle? If anyone ever asked you, do you want to see muddies? And especially if it's Rafi, please just say no. Sure. Or unless you're intrigued,

and I guess you can say yes, unless you're intrigued about the list. Then you can say yes to that too. Oh! Who's on the list? Jack A, got to have that list. Actors who had to dye their hair or change their appearance in order to get

the roles they actually wanted. Apparently, Sophia Vergara said, I am a natural blonde, like my siblings. When I started auditioning for American acting roles, they didn't know where to put me, a blonde Latina. In L.A., they're used to Latin women looking more Mexican. But if you go to Uruguay, Argentina, Colombia,

everybody is blonde. Yeah, we've all been to Uruguay. Yeah. Yeah. Get used to it. Holden. I made a decision to change my hair color to dark, and that's how I started working.

At the end of the day, it was hair. It wasn't like I had to cut my fingers off. It was like, I'm going to see if this works. I'm here. Why not? And it changed my life because I got hired to do modern family, which I did for 11 years. Just changing her hair color. That is very funny that Americans, like, literacy around.

Yeah. Latin America is so poor that they're like, you can't be blonde and speak Spanish. So that actually is a very funny fact. As a do-ma. That and also thinking about how not that long ago, and I was also told the same thing, Jennifer Anderson, because I mean, obviously, Jennifer Anderson and I are very similar. In 1996, Jennifer Anderson told Rolling Stone,

before an audition where I had to wear a leotard, my agent said, actually I've been meaning to talk to you about that, my agent gave it to me straight, nicest thing he ever did. The disgusting thing of Hollywood, I wasn't getting jobs because I was too heavy. Oh, my God. So she lost a significant amount of weight, and then she booked friends. Oh, my God.

That's so depressing. That is disgusting. And that is something that is coming from someone that was told to lose 50 pounds or gain 50 pounds if I ever wanted to get anywhere in this business. And I told them to fuck right off. And here I am sitting on my podcast. And that is why I'm sitting on my podcast. Now, Olivia Wilde also used to be blonde, blonde. And then she went brunette for a role and all of a sudden she started getting more roles.

She was seen as more punky and she got a purple streak in her hair. And then she was the punky girl. And it is so insane to me that if you think about it and like I know people that work in casting, it is the first seconds they see you over whether you look like. And like all of the very. vocal jobs I've ever gotten, I've been told that within me saying my name at the top of the audition is when they decide whether they want you or not. Right.

And it is so insane to think of what can and cannot get you a job in this business. And it could be down to just your hair was blonde and I wish it wasn't. Right. That is crazy. Because I'm looking at this picture of Olivia Wild and I've this, even saying these words sounds insane, but I'm like, yeah, if she was blonde, she would look like a popular bitch. And with brown hair, she looks

kind of interesting. I can't explain that. Why does that? Why is it? Why do I feel that way? Well, because, you know, blonde is, Blonde, man, that's like the one hair color you can change to

and everyone treats you differently. It's like so weird. It's like getting big fake tits or something. I also feel like there's certain things with your body that it's so interesting how you're treated differently. That, like, I find, like, I've talked with different people that have gotten different,

like plastic surgeries and things like that and talking about how they were treated beforehand. And some people surprisingly, like someone that I know that got, you know, bigger, larger fake tits always thought that they would get more. But she also doesn't like have them out on display because they're, you know, especially for the reason of why she's got the big fake tits. And I, she was surprised that more people didn't focus on it. Well, that I was thinking. Yeah. And then we have another friend who literally goes out where. wearing like a frame, like a painting frame around her tits.

Yeah, and she goes, I'm Mona Lisa, I'm on Lisa. And they go, then why don't you smile every once in a while? They're on full display. And people line up and they pay to get like one of those little audio things. They can like hear about the history of the tits and everything. And it's crazy. I mean, she can't go to the loose. If you pay for VIP, you get to touch them.

But you got to pay for VIP. Yeah, I pay for VIP. And it's $20,000. Go on. Now, we did know this. even though it was after her breakout role in dirty dancing, Jennifer Gray had her first of two rhinoplastys at her mother's suggestion. In 2022, she told people,

she loves me, loved me, always has. And she was pragmatic because she was saying, guess what? It's too hard to cast you. Make it easier for them. And then I did. And she was right. It wasn't like, you're not pretty.

It's like, guess what? If you don't want to be an actor, okay. But if you want to be an actor. and that is horrible. That stuff bums me out so much. I have a friend who moved to L.A. and the next time I talked to her, she was like, I got to get a nose job.

Like, it was like that. I feel like L.A. does this to people. Yeah. And it really saddens me. And specifically this, I don't know. There's just something about maybe it's because maybe I'm thinking aspirationally. We've like kind of moved on from that particular beauty standard. But maybe we haven't.

I will say as someone that, like, I used to play with, like, years ago, which I don't do it anymore just because I don't care anymore. But there was, like, something that, like, you could, like, it was like face tune where you could tune your face more. And I wanted to see what I would look like with a smaller nose. And I was like, oh, my God, I look so much better with a smaller nose. And it was because of the face tune on, like, for a social media post. But I didn't keep it on because I was like, yeah, but that's just not my, it's just not.

what I look like. It's just a different. Like your nose, when your nose is different, you have a completely different face. Yeah. And it is so obvious. And I was like, oh my God, I like that. I need a nose job.

And I remember thinking the second I thought, I should get a nose job. I got rid of the Face Tune app. I was like, I don't need this. This is not what I need in my life. I don't need to try to like be this version. Like I never ever thought I had a big nose in the first place. Yeah, but I do.

And then I'm fucking sitting there. Are you going to tell me you can get no shoveled? Are you going to tell me to get a nose shoveled? I think it would be nicer to you. If you did. I think it would be like a nicer. So maybe I should think about it. Yeah, yeah.

I think it would just be a little more polite. Just like please and thank you is a little more often. I like, I noticed people's hotness, but I've never, I've never noticed there are no size. If you asked me, does Jackie have a big, small or medium nose, I would be like, I have no idea. I look at her face several times a week. This was, this was something actually that came up for me in the Will and Harper documentary was when they were talking about

how... Again, for anyone that hasn't watched it yet, you must, you must, you must. This seems so simple and so obvious, but it was kind of a eureka moment for me of like, oh, that makes so much sense when Harper's talking about applying makeup and how

that forces you to sit and stare at yourself in the mirror for fucking hours on in every day. And a lot of most men don't have that experience at all besides, you know, like J.D. Vance or whatever. But besides that, like, most guys are not doing that. And I think that has a complete, absolute effect on your mental health, on your view of yourself. You know what I mean?

All these things. I'm always wondering, like, you know, I'm married to a woman or whatever. And, like, I talk around a lot of female women or whatever. And they talk about, you know, all these little things about themselves that I'm like, man, I just don't even think like that. That's just not the way I think. You're not conditioned to. just start obsessing about your face and your body and your flaws by the time you're 11. In fact, I weirdly, like, maybe it's like a mushrooms thing or something, but I kind of like avoid mirrors. Like, I just don't love to just sit and stare at myself in the mirror. I just, I, you know what I mean? Like, I don't care about mirrors. Like, Lexi's like, we need a standing mirror or whatever.

You know what I mean? I'm like, why? I'm just, I'm just, it's just, it's, isn't it interesting to what we're told of how your, like, how your body has. to be by social media, by like the entertainment industry, down to the fact that like I, you know, I've lost a significant amount of weight. My arms have a lot of extra fat on them. And outside of getting as bulked up as I can, you're ripped by the way, there's surgery, but there's, I was, I've lost a significant amount of weight and there's not so much you can do about it. And I was lamenting about this, about the state of my arms and how sad I was about my upper arms. And Jeff just like came over and was like, I've never once thought about your upper arm.

I've never thought. He's like, I need you to know that like the idea of like the tight tone or like that's not always just for like how everyone will like, oh, then I'll be hot. Right. And everyone will think I'm hot. That's just like that's your brain. Yeah. Yeah. Your brain is telling you that you need these things that we have to check off these boxes when we fucking don't.

And it's worse than it's ever been. Because think about this like like before phones and before we all. always had a camera in our pocket. We were always looking at ourselves. And a situation where people feel compelled to post pictures of themselves all the time. I mean, think about it. But in the past, you would take a roll of photos and like a month later go get it developed. Right. I know what I mean? It was so not immediate, you know, so you had to really actively be kind of narcissistic and consumed with yourself. You know what you mean? To like, to be one of those people. Whereas I think now way more people are conditioned, which is I think also why plastic surgery and Botox, all this stuff,

has become so much more normalized as well. Yeah. Yeah, the selfie, the front facing camera really did change everything. And I like rejected. And I do, and that is a thing about LA that I, and you're raising a girl. I think about this all the time, raising girls, you know, like, it's, I, I think about the hours I spend. I'm hoping for an MJ. I'm hoping for a boy in, you know, 10 or so years. I know. God will it. Yeah, no, that's what that's what everybody thinks us trans people want is to trans all the kids. No, no, I'm not trans and I'm just, let's not deal with, you know what I mean? We were just talking about this last night with like how it's funny, like, there's a lot of, like, dad secretly hope their kid ends up being a lesbian because they don't want to deal with gross dude bros.

Like, who wants to deal with that? You know what I mean? I know there's like atrocious toxic lesbians out there. So, you know, but we're joking about that much. I will see. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, don't think we don't realize that. But you know what I mean? Like, when you'd be kind of like, yes, because you wouldn't have to deal with like these goofy alpaca heads coming into your house. Just the beauty standards. I spent so long, I spent so long, I think really naively, and I'm sure I've said it on the show a million times thinking, like, I'm talking in the last five years or so thinking that things were better for girls now because there's like, you know, because Jackie and I grew up on like the magazine covers.

Right. They wear big comfy sweaters now and or sweatshirts. I never saw anybody. Yeah, exactly. Dillias and magazine covers, Jennifer Love Hewitt on a magazine cover, just making me want to a la Holden never eat. And so that was bad. And I really was like, I thought that things were getting so much better with body positivity and fat acceptance and just even just like,

just somebody who looks like Billy Eilish being a standard of coolness. The variety of what you kind of are allowed to look like is better now. But also, I think because of exactly what you're saying in the front-facing camera shit, I actually think it's probably worse now because you're constantly expected to post. And it's been hitting me a little bit more thinking about, you know, raising girls and being like, oh my God, how can I protect them from the need to post? What if we don't take selfies and post them? Like how, but that everyone else is going to be doing it.

So am I going to be the one who doesn't let them, you know? Oh, God. And then you just circle down the drain of a parental anxiety forever. her. Yes, and it all started with the girl from dirty dancing, getting a rhinoclastia. And don't worry, it's still continuing because Sidney Sweeney is also naturally a brunette. And she highlighted her hair to be in a movie, and then she ended up going completely blonde for euphoria. And now she's booking so much work, she almost can't to go back to her natural hair color. Weird. Yeah, I totally think of her as a blonde. Right. It would be weird to think of as her. I never think about these things. And then when you say

Oh yeah, I do carry all sorts of weird, inherent thoughts about blonde versus that I've never noticed or thought of it. Amy Adams is red, isn't red? No, not red, not red. Fick, redhead. She's like my redhead. Yum, yum. I was going to say, that's the sign of everyone's coming from someone that is definitely,

like, I am hardcore going gray. Like, it's like really coming in now. I think women with gray hair is sexy personally. So does my partner, and so do I. So I think I'm just going to let it. ride out, but I will say every time I'm in the chair for someone doing my hair and they go, do you want to die this?

I'm like, I don't. I don't want to die. I don't. In fact, continue to jump out and frighten me. So even more goes great. Give me another one. Give me another one. That's my list. We gotta keep going. I think I'm going. Blind. Item.

Oh, I can't see him. Sorry, we got some quick ones. So it works out. This A-list actress and her actor husband have been blacklisted. The actress got one chance to go on television to try to spin things around and she was incredibly rude to everyone at the show where she was a guest who's a like

a list couple that would be blacklisted because they're just like kind of yeah lately they were they met on a TV show oh blood blood oh the Kardashians they met on a TV show they met on a sitcom

one of the yeah oh I'm going I was going a period piece they met on a period of Peace. They're friends with an arist. What? What? Who were you saying?

Bridgerton? No, not Bridgerton. I said, Bridgett. Older than that. A sitcom. No, a period. Sitcom.

Okay, period piece is throwing you guys off. We're not talking a Victorian area period. That's what period piece means. No, it means any time period. Right now, 90s movies are period pieces. No. Are you talking about a period piece, 90s sitcom?

Not 90s, different decade. Okay. Go back. Okay. Two people, they met. They're friends with an artist who was also on the show. It's a period piece. Oh, oh, Milakounis and Ashton Coucher.

Yes. Milakunis and Ash and Coucher, you peaked out on your microphone. I know. Jackie was yelling so loud that Zoom was like, you must not mean to be doing this. Sorry. And I didn't hear what he said. I got too excited.

And Milikudis was on Jimmy Kim alive recently. I guess she was a bitch to everybody on the show. But yeah, they're so black. I bet they're fucking blacklisted, dude. They've had so many gaffes lately. It's like ridiculous. And also we're all de me forever. We're like forever X to Ashton.

It's something to do with Mila, but it has everything to do with I'm all to me now. Sorry. Shout out to the substance. All right. Filed under Norte. This one's filed under Norte. This A-List singer who used to act has taken the Matthew McConaughey

naked bongo playing to the next level. She loves having sex in hotels with the door. doors and windows wide open. Please, it has to be Sabrina. No, it has to be. It's not. I feel like she's made that her brand, but I still have not convinced that she's just this like.

Is it Ariana? No, but similar deal, kind of similar deal. We're in the right realm. She's saying on the show. Selena? No, she's saying, but similar deal, similar deal. Olivia? No, but similar deals.

She would never get naked and play the bongo. She's too sweet. Well, no, this person is I get naked to play at the bogas. They're just having sex in hotels. With the doors and windows wide open. So what does Matthew McConaughey's playing the bogos have to do with it? She just because he was naked. I think the only, uh, the only, uh, the only connections.

Oh, well. Yeah, yeah. But she has sex. So someone's having sex. Okay. In hotels. Oh, who likes to have sex in hotels? You've named like every person from this kind of realm except for the one person.

Yes. Oh, that doesn't surprise. Oh, that doesn't surprise. Oh, Miley Cyrus is having noisy sex in a lot. That doesn't. That doesn't surprise me in all. Why is this even an item? I would, I hope she's doing that.

As she should. As she should. This is her prime. I hope she's having a great time. Also, this one's also filed under naughty, naughty, naughty. Oh. Sorry, I had to burp. Notting, not.

Well, that is naughty. This married talk show host is not only about to be busted for his sexual escapades, but also his very out of the ordinary kink. Nick Cannon. He's married to his talk show host. Ryan Sechrist. No. Nick Cannon is a talk show host.

I know. He has a drinking problem. Jimmy Fallon. Yes. I love how quickly you got it. That's so funny how quickly you got that. He's drinking problem. That'll do it.

That'll give it away. So what do you think is kink is? Do you think he's piss? Do you think he rubs piss in his elbows or something? What do you guys think is kink is? I don't know. Self-hate? Yeah.

Did you see that interview that he did with the Rizzler? Oh, I heard he looked. I didn't watch it, but I heard he actively looks, like, upset. Yeah, he was disrespectful to that little child. He was so hateful. Can you explain? I know we're at the end of the episode. Can you agree, very extremely elevator pitch me on the Rizzler?

I'm not. Don't ask me, man. We're going to have to ask the audience. The phone or friend. Maybe I'll do a quick research before the leftovers and we'll talk more about the Rizzler. It's like a YouTube thing. I know it's off the word Rizz. He's a little boy.

They go to Costco. He just touches his lips. I know he touches this. I know he touches. He rates things based on a number of booms. I think he's not related to that man who takes him everywhere. Yeah. And I think it is a YouTube thing and it's football.

Right, I take everything back. I said about makeup and social media. The monster we've created is this show. Everyone keeps making fun of the Rizzler too. And I'm like, I'm like, guys, even though his name is the Rizzler, he is still a child. And I feel a bit weird about all of him making fun of this child. Yeah, yeah. He's not his fault.

How old is he? I'm just like, I feel this is not for me. And I, what is this? There are lots of things that I want to stay current on when it comes to like getting older and making sure that I'm not completely like tapped out of youth society. But I think I do draw the line at things like the Rizzler. Or when I was like trying to explain skippity toilet to somebody. Yeah.

And then I was like pulling up all the, and I was like showing it to her. And I was like, see, it's not for us. But we should be. aware of what it is. Yeah. No, we don't need to know until a young person is talking to us about it. And then we can pretend to be interested. Yes.

It just says preteen, but there's no actual age here. For the Ristler. Yeah. I would guess like eight. He's young. He's young. Everybody's fat shame and the Rizzler like it's a fun thing to do. And I don't think it's okay.

Well, he is a fatty fat. I don't think we should be fat shamed with the business. But maybe I'm not in on the joke. Maybe he should try my influence. I shouldn't even speak about it because I don't understand it so much. Maybe the joke is that we're all fat-shaming a child and that's what's fun. Yeah, like, what is it? What is it?

Ween sucks. What do you supposed to say? What sucks? Squar sucks. Who sucks? Prima sucks. Yeah. Boom.

I love it. I love it. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, I'm about to ask my peas. Ew. Suck your piggies? No, shit like you. Oh.

Dump. We got to get out of here. I thought you were going to get your piggyies up there and start sucking on your pigs. No, I'm literally going to. have they put a shit in my pants unless we in the podcast. Or can you see? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Welcome back to the land of the seeing. And that is the end of our show. So Holden can go suck on his piggies. Always give it up to your boys when they are on their journey to suck their pigs. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. Go

check out my Greta Gremlin costume. you know you fucking want to. It's so good. Thank you so much. And coming out with MJ and I on Wednesdays, where we play The Sims. I have so many projects going on that as I was talking, I forgot about which one I was talking about. Check out Who's the Bitch. I host it with Kara Clank.

Hit us up. Go to Who's TheBitch.com. Hit us up with all of your questions, problems, anything you need advice on. Just need to bitch about your work-sitch. Who's the bitch. Come hit us up and check us out Elpian Deep Dives, Romanticy. Check out our Crescent City drops every week. Hell yeah.

Check me out. I'm hosting a Cowards meetup in a couple weeks, but we're too scared to pick where. Also check me out at Holdenators Ho on Twitch every Friday. Jackin with the Holdies, we get loud, we get proud. And by proud, I don't know if we get proud. A shame. You get loud and a shame. Shamed.

Page 7podcast at gmail.com. Please keep sending in your conspiracies. Also, Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. Get over there. There's so much good shit going on. Jackie's Book Club. Our leftovers conversation, we'll talk about more stuff. We're going to talk more about the Rizzler on the leftovers on Patreon coming up here.

And also, that's it. Tears of a clown. LPN TV. Cheers of a clown. Watch Elpian Funhouse on YouTube. Oh, yeah. And Holdenaders Ho with two. on Instagram. I'm now kind of plateaued out at 2,500 followers. And so that means I need to do

a whole other 22,500 followers to get back to where I was. So please follow me for the love of God. M.J. My name is MJ and I'm MJKL Kat on Instagram. Time to sing the song. Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read it to you. Come on. Is it time? Yes, it's time.

Is it time? Yes, it's time. Is it time? Is it time for the shoutouts? Yes, it's time. It's time for the shoutouts. And you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you.

Even if it's just your high hello's or just happens to be an amazing picture of maybe a fur baby you've got. We love to hear from you. And you can hit us. up at page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Now, I've got some shoutouts today. I definitely want to say thank you so much to Abigail for inviting us up to Quimby Farm because that sounds absolutely amazing. And did I start staring at their Instagram? Yes, I did. And now I want to come to the Hudson Valley for a hundred million reasons, but especially to see you. And I want to thank you so much for that. And I want to say, oh my God, Molly, I just want you to know we were there with you alongside

you like Jesus Christ walking in the sand while you watched Terrifier 2. I'm sorry, Terrifier 2 fucked you up so badly. And I just want to say I appreciate you and I passed along to MJ, Molly, that you said, when you say that MJ shouldn't watch it, I cannot co-sign that enough. That movie fucking scared me. The images were just so fucking creepy and made themselves a permanent place in my mind. Total nightmare fuel, Molly, I want to say, I'm sorry that you went through that high experience, but I do want to also say, I mean, you're not going to forget where you were when you

watch Terrify or two, and I'm proud of you for having that experience. Now, our first shoutout goes out to Chloe, and we have, ah, Chloe, it makes my heart swell. Chloe sent in an update from a shoutout that they sent in last year. Chloe says last year I rode in during a really difficult time in my life. I talked about how just totally lost and afraid I was. I was 23 years old. I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. And who I thought was the love of my life walked away from our relationship without

looking back. Regardless, I encouraged myself and others in similar situations to just keep going, just keep moving forward. I'm 24 years old now, soon to be 25. Since last year, I've finished my bachelor's in English literature. Congratulations. This morning I click submit on my applications for law school. On Friday, my sweet and loving boyfriend and I are going to a fancy pizza restaurant to celebrate our one-year me anniversary.

I still don't know what's ahead. I still have yet to see what law schools accept me, what me and my boyfriend will do next weekend and what I'll do when I wake up tomorrow morning. But what I know is that I would not be here if I had given up last year. To everyone who may be struggling right now, keep going forward, even on unsteady feet, and never stop working towards the better things that are to come. Chloe! Chloe, I'm so happy for you.

And I want to say thank you so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so much for you. your update. I'm so, so proud of you. And thank you for taking the time to pass on what you've learned and just to encourage other people to keep on moving forward as well. I will keep you in my thoughts and my rituals, Chloe. I'm so happy for you. And oh, congratulations on all the new fun journeys and things that you're going to be exploring in your future. You're right. No one knows what tomorrow holds for any of us. We just got to be good to ourselves and other people, and I'm sending you so much. Love, Chloe.

Now, our next shout-out not necessarily is a shout-out, but it is, does have the intentions of the shout-out, and I need to give it towards Emily and Riloh, honey! Emily rode in, and Emily seems to be absolutely adorable and said that they are not a page seven listener. And it's fine. They said they're just not that into gossip. But I mean, if they did listen, they would find out that we barely talk about celebrity gossip, but that's fine. We love you, Emily, regardless. Now, Emily wrote in talking about their partner, Riloh Honey. His name is Riloh Honey. And they said, maybe you could say his girlfriend, Emily, asked for the shout-out for him, whatever works best for all of you. And I want to say, what works best for you, Emily, is that I'm sending

I'm my love and all my kisses to you And to your honey, Riloh, honey, sending kisses to you. I'm sending kisses to you both Because you both deserve them And I want to say thank you so much, Emily, for sending in this cutie, cutie shoutout Even looking through the Patreon to find out How to send in a shout out

And how adorable, oh my God, Rilohoney, How adorable is it that your girlfriend did this for you And I just want to kiss you both consensually Anywhere you want, I'm giving kisses, given shout out kisses to Emily and Riloh, honey! And I love your love and thank you so much for writing in! Okay, full stop, full stop of what I was just saying. This matters to almost no one except for me and Emily and Riloh, I need you to know. Riloh, Emily got in last minute, I had already recorded this.

I went back in to re-record this little section for you because Emily got it in just at the last because I hit her up and was like, oh, you can write in exactly what you would like. And I needed to get this out there because I'm so fucking proud of you, Riloh. What Emily asked me to say is, because this is so fucking important. Congratulations on one year of sobriety to Riloh. Your partner, Emily, is so proud of you. You are an inspiration and so loved. Hail Riloh! Come on, say it loud. You know you fucking want to. So proud of you, dude.

Hail, Riloh, yes. I needed to come back and add this into the shoutouts just so that you know I am fucking proud of you. As someone that has a sober partner myself, I know the struggles and I just want to send you all of my fucking love. I love you, dude. I love you both. Thank you so much for sending in your shout out, Emily, and send in you love.

All right, now I'll continue. And last but not least. We've got another love shout out. I love a love shout out. This goes out to Chad. Well, it's from Chad to his wife, Allison. Chad says, I am writing today to shout out the greatest person I know for our fifth wedding anniversary on Halloween. It's cool if it doesn't get read before.

I should have said it sooner. That's okay, Chad. We're in this together. And I want to say, even though it's already passed, happy, happy, happy anniversary. Happy Halloween anniversary. I'm so happy for you both and I love your love and I hope you get extra kisses today. Now Chad says my wife Allison, she's the most lovely, kind, and patient person I know. I can't believe how lucky I am to found the love of my life all those years ago.

It means I will have gotten to spend most of my time on earth having a purpose, loving you. These last 10 years have brought me so much growth and happy. all of which you can claim credit for. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for being patient with me and weathering the fallout of my mom passing back in May. Thank you for insisting I learned to cook, which is now one of my favorite hobbies. Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for raising our son Thorin with the same love you have shown me. And most of all, Thank you for being you. Happy fifth wedding anniversary.

I love you, sweet pee, till the end of time. Oh, my God. Come what may, Chad will love you until you're dying day. Come what me. Yes, I'm peppering a little bit of Moulon Rouge in there, even though you didn't ask me to, Chad. I love you, Allison, too. Oh, my God, you better kiss the hell out of this dude because he deserves it.

And you all deserve the kisses, consensually. And I am giving them right now. I hope you consented. Love you guys so much. We will make it through whatever is happening. I know I'm recording this on Tuesday. We're going to get through it no matter what. We've got each other.

We just need to be good to ourselves and good to other people, even if they don't deserve it. We have to try to be good. I love you all. Let's be good. And I'll see you guys next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.