Page 7 - Ep. 562: I Saw Daddy Get Cucked By Santa

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

This week on Page 7 Jackie's gossin' with Holden and MJ about the showstopping lyrical genius of I Saw Mommy Kissing Beetlejuice, and brings up their journey to make Horny Christmas happen! Speaking of Horny Christmas, Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan couldn't make it work, and for some reason people are showing up at his grandma's to ask why? Jackie is going off on Doechii being a great artist havin' her moment after her tiny desk concert as well her appearance on Colbert, Matty Healy and Azealia Banks are feuding on Twitter (and real life!) after he stepped his foot directly into his mouth to stop her attacking Charli XCX, Hilaria Baldwin's 11 year old daughter dropped a skincare book which raises some questions about children in the beauty industry, and finally in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Do You Believe In BONO'S LITTER BOX?!  Not to mention a very on theme list of Christmas Music Trivia that the validity of is quickly called into question, Blindz, and even MORE!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

To start today with a song that I didn't know was going to annoy me so much, but man, when you're working a festival called Creep It Real Festive, sometimes you hear a weird song over and over and over again, like, I saw Mommy kissing Beetle juice, slurping in the purplish moonlight. He was laughing like a goat In his stripy little coat I'm far too young to see a massive tongue go down mom's throat My son mommy kissing Beetle juice Sleeping in the purplish moonlight My therapist says chill

meditate or take a pill I bet she's never seen a demon up in her mom's grill And it goes on from there But those are the lyrics that I wrote down Because I had to seek it out Because I was so annoyed And you think that I'm over exaggerating

How the song is saying I'm not No I believe And it was on It was on one of those Christmas loops So you would hear this song every like three hours And I think the 12th time I heard it, I thought I was like, I will rip my own skin off. And apparently it is sung by the Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice cast, but it was specifically done as a quarantine 2020 CD that they all got together to like raise money.

What? So you can't find it anywhere else. Yes. So that's why I was trying to find the lyrics. I couldn't find the lyrics. So I'd find a lyric video so that I could, I had to, guys. so that I could write down the lyrics. That's not even all of them.

I could keep going, but it is the most upset. I was so upset. I don't want you to keep going. This is reminded me the original, what the source material of the song I saw about me because of Santa Claus also annoying. Yeah, it's also annoying. And then it sounds like because it was this very kind of thrown together

music project that it was just no thought towards, hey, is this annoying? Now, is the sequel to the Beatlejuice movie cast? No, Beetlejuice, Beatlechis, the musical. The musical. The musical. Okay, so Beetleju's the musical, which I liked quite a lot. I really enjoyed my time with it, but they didn't do anything with that holiday class.

This was a shoot-off. Yeah, this was a shoot-off of this one song for the quarantine 2020. And then you just go back and think, man, you know, I give it up for anybody that goes back and listens to our quarantine episodes. Like, I don't want to remember where my brain was during the quarantine. No. this frequently because we've heard from so it was actually so wonderful when part of the thing that when we were on tour we heard from so many people that were like I found you guys during quarantine or I got into you guys during quarantine and they were like you know it was such a lonely time and like that was when I like you know started listening to page seven and I'm always like really because I remember that the three of us were hanging on by a thread and I want to give it up honestly Jade Goldluck from our chat I believe recently was listening to the quarantine episodes and actually gave big ups to us, which I was surprised by. So love you, Jade. And I, I don't know if I believe you, but I'll take it. Yeah, I'll take it. I also remember, speaking of page seven of the past, I think that we had like a long, in-depth conversation with Marcus at some point about the song I saw Mommy Cassin' SandCloud. Because I remember that Jackie, you've always been a Santa Baby type of bitch. I'm a Santa baby. Well, I technically a Santa baby hater, but last year, yes, I am trying to put the horn back in Corpus. Right, right. I feel like at least we've, you know, Santa Baby is horny. In the genre of horny Santa

Santa, I think Santa Baby reigns supreme. And I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. The central question is, is Daddy Santa Claus or is Mommy cheating on Daddy with Santa Claus? I mean, I think the assumption is that Daddy is Santa Claus a cute family song. No, no, MJ, it's not about your mom cheating on your dad with a specter of the night. Why is Daddy dress up as Santa after the child's already in bed, hold then? Yeah. Is it sex play? Because he got drunk while he was still in the clothes. No way. No way.

He put out the costume. And then he got hammered because he has a fucking drinking problem. And then he started getting hansy with your mom when she's just trying to like get the presents out of the tree. You know, she's dead. She's even probably just like, we have to have a serious conversation about you drinking tomorrow. I can't do this anymore. It's Christmas Eve for Christ's sakes. My breasts are on fire.

Holden. Are you being triggered right now? Is this like bringing up a fast memory of your mom bending over underneath the tree? And you being like, no, mommy, no. She's like, if you're going to kiss me, please take the cigarette out of your mouth. I mean, Jesus, I'm coming in purses over here. I don't know what's going on. My pussy fell out two hours ago.

I don't know what's doing. You know, it sounds like it's a bad Christmas for Mommy, but not, you know, when she wants to kiss Santa Claus, which I guess is what the song is about. But I did always assume that Mommy was cheating. on daddy with Santa Claus, but I know that's not what it's supposed to be. That's not what it is. The dad's and the thing. My favorite one is coming on Rudolph. That is not. It's not what a

dogs. They don't. They forget about Rudolph. How dare you? No, they would never. They would never involve the animals in their Christmas sex holding. It's fun to have an orgasm standing over on animals. See, you're making these jokes, but over on I'm Jackie's book club, man. We are having a great time having sex with Santa Claus.

So you make all your japeries because this man can read your mind and your every want and desire. And also his dick tastes like peppermint. You know his dick tastes like peppermint. This is in your book that you're reading, which if I remember correctly, is called Santa Claus is going to town dot dot dot on me. On me. Oh, he certainly is because I was immediately sold on the title. How could you not be?

very good. I think the reality where you guys are just cool with a regular Christmas classic being about a woman cheating on her husband. Yep, that's what I choose to believe. Let me choose to believe I will have Christmas in my way. You will have Christmas in yours. I like it much better that way.

And a child's trauma and a child being traumatized by the entire game. Stay in bed. I saw Daddy get cucked by Santa as the, it was the alternate time. title and then they changed it. Put him in the cuck chair and then that would be add on a whole addendum to the song seeing Daddy in the cuck chair oh how

he wants to buck but he can't get off and even if he wants to what and then everybody they can't say fuck in the song you know now I'm coming on and else now I'm coming out of it else

see now it's a through line see this is a story I can get behind Well, it's a three-part or it's a multi-part epic. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I can definitely get behind this, and I'll get by and say, come on. Who? Who?

I'll get my hoo. We need to put out an album of lusty Christmas songs. I think that's what we need to do here. I'm trying to make Christmas horny happen, guys. Sabrina Carpenter is working on it, okay? Sabrina Carpenter is working on it. She certainly is. We'll talk more about that on talking TV, I'm sure.

We certainly will because, man, she is bringing the horn to Christmas, and I really. appreciated, especially given everything she's going through. But if you think about it, wouldn't all of this stuff be, wouldn't this be the perfect time for all these things to happen to her? Because of course, we are

talking about the fact that she and Barry Gehogan broke up. But here's the thing, guys. I was rooting for him. Man, I really was. Were we though, MJ? I was. She wrote a whole damn song pleading with him to not cheat on her and then he cheated on her.

I mean, I'm not rooting for him right now. Several times. for him before he fucked it up. I wanted it to work out. I like him. I didn't even really like saltburn that much, but I just like an interesting-looking man. Yeah. You know, I think that it's everyone saying-

And everyone's being like, oh, she was doing charity work. Yes. People need to stop saying she was doing charity work. I also thought that he was weird-looking at first, okay? But sometimes weird-looking turns out to be hot if you got the charisma, and he does. Okay? So everybody's stop. Well, we can continue to be mean.

Yeah. Ariana is the one doing charity work. She's with SpongeBob, for Christ's sakes. You're right. Stolen from a baby. But over here on this side, I would say that. But Barry Keogin also does have a child, but that's also part of the issues. So apparently, Barry Keogin did come out and say.

Did you steal it some motherfuckers for some babies lately, dog? We don't know if she stole him from the baby. This is why we're not mad at Sabrina Carpenter. We don't know that she stole him from the baby. He's left that baby of his own free will. And am I being hypocritical? Probably. And I don't care.

All right, I like Sabrina Carpenter and I don't like Ariana Grande most days. Wow. Some days I do. Most days. Most days. Most days. Most days. I can be swayed.

Most days for you. So we're changing. And I'm glad we're changing. Jackie, how much do you dislike Ariana Grande? I'm changing. I'm fine. You know, I don't want to go on the hate canopy that you were all stepping upon with all of your dirty water and your pigeons. No, I'm going to stay.

stay down here where it's clean, where I like Sabrina Carpenter, and I wish no evil abonds her. And I, you know what, Barry Gogan has not said that he didn't cheat. He did come out and he did deactivate his Instagram account. He did come out and put out an actual statement saying, please, everyone leave me and my family alone. Please stop. are showing up at his grandmother's house.

And that's insane. Show, like showing up where his child lives. Yeah. That's insane, guys. Leave him. If you are mad at a man, no matter how mad you are at the man, leave the man's child out of it. And leave the old family out of it.

And leave his grandmother out of it. You're shipping this like celebrity couple, right? You're shipping a celebrity couple. They break up. I think I'm going to go to this man. grandmother's house. And I can know how disappointed I am and the fact that their love was not true, you know?

You know, people are like, chapel complaints too much, but I feel like, honestly, I think that maybe Stan culture has gone quite far. Maybe it's always been this way, who knows, but because everybody's always live posting everything that's happening to them all the time, we know for a fact that, you know,

this is what's happening to Barry Keoghan. And so I just feel like, I mean, right, you can be mad at him, you can call him a dirty doggy. You know, you can say he's a bad man who deserves to be punished. How bad is he, AJ? How bad is he? I love this, I'm going to punish him. Horny Christmas, all right.

I wanted to come to my house and give him a talking to. Jerk it off in a sleigh. Don't tell me it's not okay. I'm having a Christmas time. I'm in the sleigh. He can break my heart. He can lie to me. Okay, all of that.

But don't go to his family's homes. No, very upsetting. Isn't it? Could you imagine thinking it's an okay? Like, even just sending like a DM of your upset about their breakup, that's far too far. No, you got to stay out of it. You don't know them. We don't know them.

I know. And we technically don't know what happened, although certainly the blinds are pointing towards him cheating on her with an influencer, which. Dude. And everyone's like, wow. I can't believe he would throw away all of that for this influencer. And then I looked at the influencer. They keep calling her a T-Moo influencer, but she's like hot.

She's so hot. What are you talking about? Really? I haven't seen the influencer in question. People are so delusional. People are just like, I can't believe you'd throw away this masterpiece of a woman for some influencer. And then it's like, yeah, bro, because the influencer, yeah, I was definitely going, whoa, my penis was like, wow. Like, yeah, yeah.

Uh-oh, the eye it lingers. You keep talking about your crystal clean Instagram account, but I guess it won't be crystal cleans no-mah. It's already catching up to me. It's already a bunch of tinnit ladies. Well, when you're coming on Rudolph, you know, it kind of gets everywhere. I put missile toe right above my asshole.

It's a goat's a Christmas. It's a goatzy Christmas. Yeah, yeah, like, it's already, like, it's just, wow. He's showing us an algorithm and it's just hot women. It is the only hot women. pop stars too. Sure, sure, sure.

Yeah, yeah, it's not just hot women. A little bit of terrifier. It's funny because you consume pop culture like a 14-year-old girl, but you have the horniness of the 40-year-old man you are. My algorithm is so confused. It's like, what do we, what is he a better file? Are we looking at these women because we hope to be like them when we grow up? Or is it that we're a, you want to splooge all over their chest.

Sometimes you got a splooge. But not on Sabrina Carpenter, baby. Now, here's the thing. I will see this quote, T-Moo influencer, which very, very mean, you damn internet beasts out there. But I will say she has come out and said that she did not sleep with him, that she has never met him, and that that is not the cake. Really?

That's funny. So, I mean, is, like, who knows what happened? And we as the populace will probably never actually know. And that's okay, guys, not for us to know. All we know is that they broke up. And, of course, I'm still sniffing around. What is that? I'm going to sniff around and looking for little truffles on the breakup.

Yeah. Find out more truffles for the breakup. But, you know, we're not DMing. You know, we're not going after. I'm not, you know, going to hit up his brother-in-law and be like, can I get a taste? Can I please just? have him for a second.

I think my Christmas horniness is starting to like, like, eat away at my brain. Like, I think I've got brain worms. Maybe I've got mad jack disease. What the fuck? Holes in my brain. Oh, it's like mad cow disease.

Where can we get to this? From where you start talking about talking? We all cope with the holidays in our own way. Definitely. Yeah, yeah. Which you just heard of it was Jackie's like full, like Christmas evolution journey like talking about just a old celebrity breakup

she's got a worm in her fucking break Oh my gosh and Eric By the way I should say Jack and Eric both We were all talking about our Christmas woes Before we started today And Jackie and I kind of at the same time Tonight will be independently

Decorating our houses with our with our loved ones So I think we're just gearing up for that special moment where you fight have fun about putting things on walls and stuff. You show me a family that doesn't fight when they put up the Christmas tree, and I'll show you Rudolph covered in the other reindeer's color.

Because yes, in this, in my brain, it's the reindeer having sex to each other. I've died to see the other thing. So I have to now show you the first thing. Yeah. Let's see. We cannot fight tonight. We're going to film it. And we're sitting in and Jagging because I need to see this thing she told me about.

What does a reindeer's come even look like? Is it like rainbow smoothie? Yeah, of course. It's covered in glitter. Honestly, it's probably a lot like my thinking putty. Maybe that's where thinking putty comes from. It's amazing. And then they just add the gnomes and the mushrooms into it.

Yeah, the balls of a reindeer. That's where slime comes from. Good Lord. Balls of a reindeer. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch. A raggedy bitch.

But some of the conflict. Sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits.

Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on. There's definitely a... bitch in your life and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life.

Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network. So subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel where we'll be taking your calls live. on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. Um, well, anyway, it's Sabrina's Carpenter's Worlds and Where's Just. Are we upset about her journey? Do we love her journey? I mean, I'm ready for her. I think it's

time for her to be free and single. I'm happy for all. I'm happy for all. I think that this is what all these stands knocking on an old Irish grandmother's door I need to know, okay, is that your 20s are for sleeping. beautiful people having it end badly and then moving on. Like nobody needs to burn a house down. Yeah. And then finally being like, you're sleepy and I'll go to sleep with you for the rest of my life.

And that's love. Just because a hot flame ends doesn't actually mean anything has gone wrong. You know, like it might just be that it was, I mean, I'm not saying something hasn't gone morally wrong. Sounds like Barry Keogun probably did something morally wrong. But I also don't,

the world doesn't need to stop turning. You know, this is what our youth is for. We make big, large, sexy mistakes, and then we just keep it moving. Sabrina Carpenter is going to be just fine. We get a really good. We get a good breakup album probably. I'm always happy for a breakup right around the time when, you know, someone might be

harvesting a new, you know, listening experience for the masses. Honestly, it kind of makes me, I feel like this, I don't know if it was the same week or if it's soon, but Sabrina Carpenter's also dropping a perfume. And I was like, man, it's all Sabrina Carpenter right now. And she's doing a bunch of stuff. But also, I kind of want to smell like her. That means you smell like her because that's a creepy thing to say. But you know what I mean.

I keep seeing ads for Ariana's perfume. It feels so 90s to me to have all these famous people putting out perfume ads, but maybe that just never stopped. I don't think it's ever stopped. Yeah. Yeah. There's an Ariana perfume ad that really had a noise. Well, it became like tequila.

for a while and now I think it's returning to sense. Yeah, it depends. I remember back in the day, I used to swear by the Justin Bieber scent. I only wore the Bieber scent for a while. So, you know, we all go, it's peaks and valleys. That's right. I was also thinking about, oh, my God, the Chloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom perfume I used to wear it.

It was called Unbreakable, which is very funny because the couple did break. break up. Anyway, I do want to talk about, we're talking about horny, horny Christmas, even though really she has nothing to do with Christmas, I must bring up Dochi and the just absolute, man, I was already obsessed with the song, Alter Ego, and then I started listening to her other music, and I'm so happy that Dochi is having a fucking huge moment right now because she fucking deserves it, and I love her music. This was my first introduction to Dochi and, man, it's awesome. The tiny desk, dude.

Tiny desk is great. And her Colbert performance. And they were both fantastic. Yeah, it's so good. We kind of had a moment on Jack and with the Holdys last Friday, towards that TV forward slash Holden or so, where we, yeah, we watched all that stuff together. And it's not often you can silence Jackie and I. And we will not be, and by the way, if you're listening at home, we're not going to be silenced by you.

We will not be silenced. We'll only be silenced by Dochi. Thank you. Okay? Yeah. And certain things like that, okay? But anyways, it was beautiful. MJ, go on.

No, it just, I'm loving it. I, so you guys are, you guys got on the Dochi train. M.J. I'm sorry, I have to stop you again. You can't say I'm loving it. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, we're not. Oh, slogan.

We are anti-Gives of McDonald's. Right now. Anyways, go on. No. Stay away from that phrase. I enjoy Dochi. And I don't know anything about. Well, she's great.

And once you start listening to the song, Alter Ego, I don't know if you're going to stop because it is a mother-vakin' bap. But also all of her music is really great. And the tiny desk and what she gets out of it. And again, for those of you that if you don't know who the hell we're talking about, her, like this, it is print. It's spelled D-O-E-C-H-I-I-D-C-I-I-D-C-E. And it is, like, she's this amazing up-and-coming performer. I believe that, like, I don't know. She's up for, like, what Grammy's she up for?

I know that she's up for breakout, breakthrough performer. And just specifically in this last week, she's just been between the tiny desk and the Colbert performance. Because the Colbert performance she did with two other women, and it was all so beautifully, coolly choreographed. And all of their braids were attached to each other's braids. So they all had to move in this, like, crazy synchronosity. And I watched it many. times. I just couldn't take my eyes off of it. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a while since, A, I have any remote finger on the pulse of like an emerging, emerging artist, like as it's happening. Like,

you had your big week on Colbert, you had your big tiny desk. And so that's exciting. And also, yeah, I feel like it's been a while since I've just seen like a, you know, a late night performance of an artist that I like completely stopped what I was doing and sat down to give it my complete full attention because it was just so interesting. Yes. Yes. I immediately am sucked in. God, I could watch her perform forever. Yeah, it's so good. Oh, I want to see her perform. Give me that tiny desk, especially, man, just how much, like what insane sound that

they could create in a tiny desk. And I know that's what tiny desk is for. It's a scene artist in a different way. But, man, it just kind of blew my mind. That's it. That's all I'm going to say. It's a crampus cream pie. Yeah, it's a crampus cream pie.

I mean, he does have the tongue for it. And you better watch out. He might lick you in the eye. You better watch out. You better not. You better cry. Because it's a crampus cream. Do we want to talk about Azzalia Banks and Maddie Healy?

I don't know how we feel about it. I don't want to talk about Azzalia Banks, but I do want to talk about Maddie Healy. Does that make that? Yeah. She's useless. She is a useless, awful, terrible. I just, I always talk about how annoying she is because she doesn't just like make music at all. Like, I don't even understand how

she thinks she can criticize these people because... I'm scared of you saying this. I'm just scared of you saying it. She doesn't make a music. She does nothing and all she does is throw shots at people on Twitter. It's like, that's like her whole... She only throws shots

and it's, I think that the hard thing about her is that like one out of, what are we going to say, 25 times, one out of 50 times, she's like completely right and then the rest of the times, you're like, what the fuck are you doing? It's all. irrelevant to me because I don't even get why she thinks she can sit here and like talk shit about everybody when she's put one song out that people like that I don't even think a lot of people

even know that song it's like it's not like it was like a number one hit or something that's like always on the radio but anyways but I do like what's more interesting to me is how bad Maddie Healey is at social media and how time and time again he goes on and just eats his own ass on social media and that is like at least this time he's like fully acknowledged like he's like, I'm so bad at this. I don't know how to be good at this. I only know how to write rock songs that people like. This is like, it's just one of those things where it's like you look at two people fighting

and you're like, I just hope you kind of both destroy each other in a way. Like neither is really somebody to root for him. But again, Zilia Banks does seem like sometimes she has these like very insightful posts. And then most of the time you're like, what are you doing? Why are you targeting people like this? What is this erratic? The clock is right. Broken clock's right twice a day, right?

I mean, come on. Right. And for those of you that are unaware, just for like a, you know, just a little summary of what's going on. Essentially, both of them were trolls anyway. And they, Azalea Bank started trolling Charlie X, X, X, X, X going after how she essentially is, like, gotten uglier, which is insane. It's an insane thing to say.

Yeah. And Maddie Healy is in the 1975. And I believe it's the drummer of 1975 that, Charlie X-E-X is engaged to. So Maddie Healy decided to come out and defend her. And what ended up happening was a snowball effect because Azalea Banks was very upset that this also piece of shit decided to say something towards her. So then it created a beef on Twitter, which ended up with a, you know, a racist, aggressive

tweet from Maddie Healy towards Azalea Banks. and what did Azalea Banks do, issued a $1 million cease and desist demand towards Maddie Healy for what he said to her on X. Is she like, is she becoming like, what's that awful church with the horrible signs that we just try to.

Westboro Baptist. Yeah. Is she like the Westboro Baptist Church of Twitter people where like is she trying to bait? Now I'm realizing, like, is that her thing? She wants to bait out this kind of thing. I mean, she said that. Maddie Healy's, like, fiancee looked like Frankenstein and that they look like they both share needles.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, she, this is her world. Like, Maddie's entering her world. Right. She is a professional. And I should even, just looking at the list of the many awful things she has said, I was not trying to, I should not have even tried. I'm not trying to hand it to her earlier.

But, like, you know how every so often they'll just be like an Azalee Bank's Instagram screenshot will come across your way. Right. And it'll be like, uh, like she, she's. showed chapel love or whatever and it was like, you know, but that's an abusive, that's what happens. Right. In an abusive relationship, you realize like, oh, you get caught up in this cycle of like, wow, but they actually said something nice.

Oh my God. And you like crave that acceptance, but it's just because they like tricked you into it because they're such an asshole. And she has these long, she'll have these, she'll do these long, long, multi-posts, multi-post stories. And she'll take on like every topic. So I think my problem is I will just occasionally see people sharing in a Zillia Bank screenshot that says... Yeah, not realizing. Exactly. But when you actually look at her,

I mean, obviously, her record for things that she said is just a horrific thing after horrific thing. But then, yeah, he's also a fucking disgusting person. And he, his whole thing when he was with Taylor, was that he was accused of, you know, misogyny and racism and the intersection of the two. and then he just did that directly at Azealia Banks saying that he was going to slap her wig like the rat that it is off her head. And it's just like, it's just one of these things where you're like, wow, both of you need to just destroy each. Like, can this be a fight where you each destroy each other? That's why even, that's why I asked if you even wanted me to bring it up. Right.

Do we, it's not usually the kind of thing that we talk about here, but it's just, it is. There's something about it though, of like watching two people go at each other where you're. like, all right, peck each other to death, I guess. I guess we'll watch it. I don't know enough about either of them to care when I see anything that Maddie Healy says, I feel grossed out. Right. And upon looking at all of the things that Azealia Banks has said, I feel grossed out. And it's just all gross.

So he went on to the 1975 subreddit. And this is another just weird, like how accessible he is. I feel like he needs to make himself actually less accessible that he does. but he wrote a post it's titled, Love You Guys. And in the post, it says, what a bad day I really let myself down. I've worked so hard to move past

these impulsive, self-destructive and honestly quite volatile outbursts I have. I'm constantly making trouble for myself for no reason. I come back to social media after depressive episodes, which is not an excuse because I often become sober.

So as an addict, when I'm not using, I pick up social media, my new way of consuming and changing how I feel. I just feel dreadful about how I acted violent. I think Azalia and all obvious flawed people all deep down have a heart, and I hate that I have contributed to her mental fragility. She's a human.

This cultural discourse has become so violent in general. I don't want to act like I regret who I am or who I have been. But to be honest, at this point, I feel gross, even having said anything negative ever about anything, if it's contributed to this culture. I'm not here saying this because I feel bullied and scared. I'm embarrassed, man, and I'm sad. And I want this 1975 world to be dreaming. and wonderful again, not some black mirror episode about being a fucking hipster. I hope to put as much work into our need and desire for altruism and understanding and love as I have about the dangers

of becoming an internet lunatic because that happened to me and it's, it was real. But it's time to move on as an artist, sending you all love. What do you think? Interesting. My first reaction is please don't go post on your own Reddit. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Weird. But the content of what he said, I guess, is nice. Like, I feel like he needs to go to a couple of, like, unpacking privilege 101 workshops, just so that he can stop saying racist things. Yeah, that would be really great. I just think that, you know, it is interesting, the, what he falls back on in these outbursts.

And I do, you know, it's hard to not be like, is it more telling about the person? Because I feel like sometimes in outbursts, but it depends on what kind of outbursts. It depends on, like, where, like, what kind of, like, where, like, where. it's coming from. Right. You know, it does seem like this is coming from a place that he feels he has no control over. Yeah. I really resonate with the like addiction, like cycle and then go.

Like, I don't do it myself, but I don't know. It just feels, that feels honest and genuine. Wasn't there another celebrity story this week of somebody being like I, was it Billy Eilish? Somebody was like, social media is like smoking cigarettes. It's like my addiction. Billy Isleish. Yeah.

And it is, I mean, I fully feel like I have an addiction to social media that I cannot control and it impacts my life. And I, so I feel like that. And of course, if you're a public figure. Jackie, cancel the intervention we were going to have for later this week. All right. Fine. I'll throw it in the trash. MJ has already admitted it.

So it's, we. Sorry. I also got a little, apparently Azalea Banks also came after Dochi. And Dochi tweeted, okay, y'all, what should our fandom? name B. And Azalia Banks's response was definitely should call them the wannabes. And it's not even that smart. And apparently, don't she, she came out and said, the first time he came for me, I let it slide out of respect for my elders. It's not my fault. You sell in busy soap and I'm selling platinum records. Leave me alone, please.

Hell yeah. And apparently, Azealia Banks did not respond. Wow. She's the worst. She's really the worst. She's really the worst. She's truly the worst. With that, too, where you're just like, like, okay, if you're going to like, like, I don't know, have a read or something, like make it funny, make it good.

Like, make it work. That's why Maddie Healy is especially like, bro, because that's all she does. She's just a professional hater. Yeah, you're going to get a fight with her and then show your own ass in a horrible way. That's the embarrassing part. Like, not even the, you know, out of line tweets.

The first and big embarrassing part is engaging. at all with her. And especially to defend Charlie X-E-X, who's literally on the tippy top right now. Like, she's fine. She had, Talia Banks calling her ugly means nothing. Yeah.

Yeah. But, you know, I also, you know, part of me does appreciate the standing up for her. But it's just, you know, Maddie Heal, like, I appreciate that he came out and said that. It's just, you know, I hope he goes and gets the help that he needs.

But how many times do you say, I hope he goes and gets the help. help what he needs. Right. Before you're like, okay, time to go, get the house that you need. It sounds like it's going to be a lifelong battle. But yeah, I don't know. I don't understand.

I always think you become famous enough that you literally like almost give your phone away to someone and just say, you take it now. You be me. But I think you don't stop carrying what other people think. Right. If Maddie Healy is any lesson, I feel like you don't stop caring about, like this little post, like going to Reddit and. being like, I'm just so upset about all of this. On the one hand, it actually is like one of the

nicer things that I've seen him do. And it's pretty relatable in the way of being like, why is everything so toxic? Like, I, that sentiment is, is perfectly fine. And, but, but, right, A, he needs to figure out why he has these certain paths that he goes down to insult women and, you know, to insult black women in this specific way. And, but then B, even if he starts to somehow, you know, kind of try to figure out how to work on that, right? I feel like the fame, I don't know, it's kind of, I actually feel like this is not, also not trying to hand it to Maddie Healy, but I do feel like it's kind of vulnerable to be like, no matter how famous you are, you feel sad when everyone is talking shit about you, you know, in public.

You'll never, but the stuff he said about addiction, too, I think it's like he's, he's turning to social media to fill some dopamine void, you know. But he did it again with putting up that thing. on Reddit. Like, that's just doing it again. Yeah, because he's getting all the outpouring of support and love. It's still just, he's not doing something about it. He's saying that just gets

more of what he wants. Everyone's talking about me in a bad way. Now everyone will be talking about me in a good way. That whiplash is so exciting and fun and it's you know, that up and down is very like drug-ish for sure. Yeah, and I wonder what kind of drug-ish problems

Alaria might be having except it's none. I wish. that it was one, but that's not what I'm talking about. I am going to bring up, though, that Holadia is supporting her 11-year-old daughter in launching her daughter's own skincare book. I hate this so much for so many different reasons. We were talking on Friday, Jackie. Was this why we were talking about kids doing skincare stuff and everyone being like,

yes. This is why, okay, I missed the lead on that because I remember us talking about how ridiculous it is for children to have a skin care practice. They're children. This is insane. And then, but pisses me off about hilarious. It's like, okay, fine. Your daughter has a weird interest in creating skin care products out of the things in

your kitchen. That's insane, first of all. Okay, fine. Maybe she does. Okay. I know she didn't walk up to you and go, mama, mama, can you please turn this special interest I have into a product? for what's to sell?

I always wanted, ever since I was two. I always wanted a book full of skincare recipes. But their mom approved. Didn't you see the seal on the front of it holding? It says 100% natural, mom approved. She's such a piece of shit. She really is. And she puts it in the language of like, what I can't stand about it is that it's in the language

of like, well, I just want to, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't support my child's interest? Yeah. First of all, yeah, it sounds like maybe your kid likes to make potions. My kids like to make potions. I give them a bunch of soap and shaving cream and a bin and a spoon and I say play. I don't then make it a book. I don't put it on the internet.

I just say, go play. So if you're 11-year-old likes to play with shit and call it skincare, good for her. That's fine. But to be like, well, it's just a special interest of her. So I just want to support my child's special interest. No, girl, you're making yourself famous. You are enriching your own self off of the back of the back of your own. your 11-year-old child.

This is- Thank God. It's real life the substance. It's absurd. It's just, I hate her so much. Between-

I truly despise her. I feel like the arc of this episode is like people go to Barry Keogan's child's house because he broke up a Sabrina Carpenter and then Maddie Healy

being like, it's all just a toxic spiral. And then Hilaria Baldwin being like, my 11-year-old needs a skincare book. It's just I do feel us we are in a black-haired

episode. My 11-year-old needs skincare, idiotic as hell. already dumb. Like if you're SBF. Put some lotion up, put some SPF. Okay, fine. Great, great, great, good, good.

Your daughter does not need skin care concoctions that she's creating. And I fucking really don't believe that that's what she really wants to do with her free time. Yeah, but hilarious says, if your child is like ours, skin care is an obsession. That makes no sense. Apparently it is a thing. Why would skincare be an obsession unless you had obsessive compulsive unless you have. I imagine. The whole thing on TikTok about Sephora girls, like nine-year-olds.

Yeah, the middle schoolers. who love Sephora. Yes. And they love, their Stanley Cups, and they love Sephora. And I, and,

and it is very hard as a parent. But even they are not creating skin care concoctions. Totally. But I, I think that, I think the balance is that you don't want to be like, this interest of yours,

if it's makeup, or if it's skincare, or even like my kids love princesses, right? And a lot of, like, we interact with a lot of families who are like,

I don't let my little girls watch princess stuff because I think that is not good for girls or whatever. And I'm like, okay, well, sure. But also, sometimes the things we hate are, we hate them because of, like, misogyny, right? And it's, I feel like it's just saying you are never allowed to do anything sparkly and pink because that, like, is used to keep girls down. I feel like is maybe an overcorrection, right?

And so I'm like, yeah, you like princesses, play with princesses. If you like makeup, learn about makeup. Like, so I feel like when I see all these, this panic about the, the Sephora girls, I'm like, it makes sense that nine, ten, ten, ten, eleven, girls want to do what they see their moms doing, which is their skin or not even in their moms, maybe people on TikTok, it's popular, it's trendy, get ready with me's, all of that. All of that makes sense. I think that the problem is when we're talking about kids that young, we are still in the realm of play. Like they can just do a get ready with me on their phone that you don't then post to the internet. There's right. You don't have to exploit them this way. She's such a leech.

She's a human leech. She sucked her husband bone dry, leached all the out of his balls and put that out to the world. And now she's just leeching the children, just figure it out. Every day she wakes up, how can I use my children to make money? Yes. Ooh, it makes me mad. And if this girl has an interest in skin care, then that's fine. But it does not need to be the nation's issue.

And that is a private matter. Hispanic language as well. You know what I mean? She just. Leach on the country of Spain. How do you challenge, Hilaria. Why don't you do something? That's just your name on it and stop hiding behind your kids to make it like to get to give it

Make it extra marketable. Yeah, obviously the Baldwin's just going to be all about her Obviously right. It's not just going to force all of her children my my favorite Alec Baldwin did come out and say that apparently he's quote not very fun yeah on the show And I think that's very funny. He said I'm not very fun the show and then when they were like when is the show coming out he was like January I think. January, maybe. Has no clue

because it was a nightmare for him. He's, I'm sure, I'm sure, Hilaria was like, I'd only stay with you all. I would only stay with you after your mother the homer. If you don't let me put a reality show camera inside this a horse. And he was like, fine. I'll do the reality show.

Just don't divorce me. I can't handle another lawsuit right now. I will say, career suicide. Friend of a friend. Friend of a friend grew up with, Hillary and has talked about how Hillary was just Hillary for all of growing up when they were in school together. I can't. So, you know, it's interesting how you, you know, you change and you grow, you adapt an accent.

You change, you grow, you become more Spanish. Yeah. When you watch the reality TV, I want, I'm hoping, and you know we're not going to get it. What if all the kids speak in an accent? Oh, that'd be fun. God, that'd be amazing. I mean, I don't know if they attended. But I hope it's an Australian accent because they're watching Bluey.

Shoutouts to the MJ co-hosted Bluey episode on Wizard and the Bruiser, by the way. It just dropped this week. Hell yes. Go check it out. MJ, me and Jake, we all talk about the whole rundown of how Bluey was created. MJ gets emotional. It's all the thing. People have already hit me up being like, I have been crying all day today because of listening

your fucking episode. Hell yeah. I was like, hell yeah. Anyways. That's the goal. I know it's about time for the celebrity conspiracy. see, but first I have to go into my happy place. I got a U-Log in my pants, and it's searching for romance.

I'm going to get this U-Log sucked tonight, I swear. I think that the U-Log hopefully will be, you know, it's not turned on when they're getting sucked, but, yeah, I wish you the best on that. And I got, I got one more track, hot off the presses, fucking Frosty, fucking Frosty, fucking Frosty, Tilly melts a fucking Frosty. Just do the celebrity. Fucking tears, it's time. Do you see me a song, Emmy with the share?

Do you believe it? Bono's litter box. Ooh. It's been a while since we've gotten a personal account. And I'm so thrilled with this one. It comes in from Daniel who writes, I heard this information from a coworker at the sandwich shop I worked at about 10 years ago. So extremely legitimate.

This is very, very legitimate. I've Googled it every so often to find more information, but I've never found anything. This co-worker's sister worked at a fancy hotel near a large music video where many musicians would stay while playing the venue. She was responsible for making trips to various stores to pick up items requested by high paying guests. When U2 was playing the venue, she was asked to go to Target for Bono. Among other items, he requested several bags of cat litter. The sister was confused because they did not allow pets in the hotel.

She learned from other staff who had helped Bono with this request previously. that it is for him. Apparently when traveling and playing shows, Bono prefers to piss in a litter box to save time instead of running back and forth to the bathroom. I have Googled this endlessly. Not just about Bono specifically, but trying to find out if this is a show business norm.

But I haven't been able to find anything. That's crazy. You couldn't find a single thing about this. She also mentioned that one of George Foreman's sons likes to lock himself in a closet and scream for help. Well, they're all named George, so they don't know which one it is, but they know one of them's doing it.

never had individual attention, so they have to go to a class and scream. Yeah, it's a real hilarism syndrome. When the maids panic and help him get out, he just goes back in and continues screaming for help. That's a great quirk to have. Hope this helps, Daniel. Thank you so much, Daniel. So what do you guys think? Okay.

100%. This is, I believe. Yeah, I'll believe. This is, you know, there's like a specific, like, trans panic myth that was because of the glitter box. in the classroom. Yeah. And I was a little

hesitant because I loathe that um, it is made up. Yeah. There's a little box for kids to identify his cats, which is completely

insane. And if that's true, where's the bird feeder? Where's the, why don't we have, why aren't all the animal things inside of the, where's the giant hamster cage?

It is made up and it is unfortunately super widespread and like so many people believe it's real. But I like to just believe that that's somehow Bono's fault, you know? Yeah. that he started this.

And it's not for him to identify as a cat, by the way. It is absolutely for him to just time. It's just a time management. The rock piece and bottles, Bono pisses and litter boxes. I'd rather Bono piss in a litter box than the rock piss in a water bottle. I'm just saying at least it clumps up. At least it's made to be pissed in. At least like you can definitely get it in there as opposed to in the water bottle,

which I'm assuming unless you're talking a wide mouth bottle. here, but you were talking about a plastic bottle, you got to get the little tip of you peepie in there. Yeah. Yeah, no, I think that this is his fault somehow. I think that maybe this whole nationwide panic about the kiddie litter boxes in the classrooms was launched by Bono. By Bono.

And I think that now we can write this wrong and we can just be like, we all, the nation is pretty united around its distaste for U2 anyway. So I think it'll be pretty easy to just be like, actually, this was just a U2 thing. Imagine how many litter boxes they had to have at the sphere for him. That's like that entire time, they just had to make sure wherever he pissed, you put that litter box. I got, there's got to be something in between a little Pellegrino bottle and a litter box for people to pee in. Yeah, guys, where are we pissing nowadays? Can we get, I'd love to get a poll started.

Where are we pissing? Where do I like to piss? When I say something in between those things, I mean, not a toilet. Yeah, if I can listen to this Christmas album, man. I'm just going straight to a mouth. This new sexy Christmas album has gotten me horny as hell. Yes, I'm dreaming of a yellow Christmas. All right.

Yes. Eating shit on Christmas Day because it makes me hard. Yeah, love it. I love this for us. So I guess we believe. Right? Oh, 100%. I mean, I don't at all, but you guys can believe it if you want.

I say lump it up. Bono, it's time for the list. Oh! Who? on the list. May. Gotta have that list. This is a big compilation, but I'm going to bump on down to the Christmas music trivia portion of this list.

Because Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas was originally a bummer of a song. It even included the lyrics, Have Your Little Christmas. It may be your last. Yes. Yeah, has anyone heard the Dr.D. Garland version? It's fucking devastated. Yeah, the Judy Garland version. I love it.

That's my version. It's so good. So sad. God, I forget, always forget every year that that is, that version is so, I watch, what's the movie it's in? Family Motherfucking Stone, bitch. Oh, well, Family Stone, what's the Judy Garland? The original, oh, the original, wait, uh, wait, uh, yeah, what is it?

Is it a Meet Me in St. Louis? Yes, meet me in St. Louis. Yes. I love it. Sorry, but also, that moment in the family stone when it's playing in the background and the kids and everybody's sleep in, and then with the breasts and then the, oh, I almost started Family Stone by myself last night at like 11 o'clock at night, and I was like, too sad. Don't, dude, don't do that to yourself.

I love weird Christmas movies. I mean, we talk about this every year when it comes to a wonderful life, you know? I just love a Christmas movie where you put it on and you're like, oh, this is like fucked up. Yeah, I actually haven't seen me in St. Louis in a very long time, so I should probably rewatch that. It also plays a... I did it recently. I did it like one of the last Christmas or two,

and it was definitely worth the watch. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she's like, man, my mom's favorite Christmas movie is the bishop's wife. Do you remember the Bush? And I was like, my mom's favorite Christmas movie is the bishop's wife. And for some reason, I've never seen it.

Oh, I should watch this. Some canonically, like, it's supposed to be amazing. So I put it on my list this year, and I was like, I'm going to watch the bishop's wife this year. Carrie Grant. Yeah, it's supposed to be amazing. And I told my mom, I never seen it. She's like, that's a lie.

I was like, if I did, I don't remember anything about it. So. All right, here's the synopsis. Dejected by his efforts to raise money to build a cathedral, Bishop Henry Brombe beseeches heaven for guidance and is visited immediately by Dudley, played by Carrie Grant, who claims to be an angel. Henry is skeptical of an annoyed when Dudley ingratiates himself into the household as his assistant, and worse, wins the attentions of Henry's long, suffering, and kindly wife.

played by Loretta Young. When Dudley continues to intervene in Henry's struggles, the bishop decides to challenge heaven. Actually, I did lie. I think my mom's favorite Santa Claus movie is Santa Claus the movie starring Dudley Moore as well as the Santa Claus. But I didn't want to lie on Linda's behalf here.

I just know she really likes the bishop's wife. The 1985 Santa Claus the movie is so crazy and I should watch it. Santa Claus the movie is, that's another one of those. It's weird. It's kind of sad. It's real weird. Like it is, it holds up, though, I will say.

But I'm going to continue on with the list because this is actually what we were talking about. Up top, a West Virginia broadcasting company banned its radio stations from playing I Saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus in the 1950s. A lot of people, including Boston's Catholic archdiocese, didn't realize the narrator's mother was kissing his father in a Santa suit, not cheating with old saint's name. Thank you. What in the hell, guys? Looks like I'm not the only one to be confused. What's wrong with you guys? You guys are like, yeah, it's like you can't...

Oh, I know the truth. I just refuse to believe it. Unreal. I think that she was doing both. I think that she was able to play it off because she was able to be like, oh yeah, I'm kissing your father. But like daddy's already drunk

and asleep upstairs. Daddy's past down. It cuts to, dun dun dun, dun. It's like dad's in a Santa Claus costume with a bottle, you know, just hanging off of his hand. Yeah, it just asleep while she's downstairs. Oh, yeah, baby. Irving Berlin tried to have Elvis Presley's version of his song,

White Christmas Band from radio stations due to the rock stars decidedly not family-friendly persona. Elvis shouldn't be allowed to see. Think about that, Holden, before you, you know, distribute your horny Christmas album. Little did Irving Berlin know that one day Holden McNeely would be born. Absolutely. Yes. Yeah, white Christmas takes on a whole different meaning. you know what I mean.

Yeah, we get it. Yeah, we understand. We know what it means. Mariah Carey's all I want for Christmas is you came out in 1994, but it didn't take the number one spot on the Billboard 100 until 2019. I didn't really understand that. I thought that it was out the gate, like why it's been such a huge Christmas song. Oh, yeah.

But not until 2019. That's crazy. I realize that. I don't know if that's, does that real? 17 years after. After Love actually came out. Really? According to the list.

According to the list. I mean, you'd think that, I mean, it was obviously on the map already. I'm drunk. Let's fuck it's Christmas. Yep, that's another one that they're banning from the radio stations. And something they should ban from the radio stations, but they won't even though I've already lost the game. George Michael penned last Christmas while in his childhood bedroom.

And now people play Whamageddon, a game slash challenge where they try to avoid. hearing the popular wham song and I've already heard it. Have you guys lost it already? Well, you will Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah, Chappell and Sabrina fucked us this year with the, I know. I know it. Worth it though. Absolutely worth it.

Now, we were talking about wonderful Christmas time. Paul McCartney's wonderful Christmas time. Some people, see, it's MJ. I know there's people in my life. I hate that song. I think it's cute and whimsical. I hate, I can't. I like the Beatles.

I cannot stand that song. Well, apparently you're not alone, MJ, according to one musicologist, the reason so many people dislike Paul McCartney's wonderful Christmas time is because the song is just too simple. Yeah, call me a musicologist. It's boring and it sucks. Yeah. Call me a musicologist. I'm sorry. Oh, it's too simple.

Yeah, it's stupid is the word they're looking for. Yeah, you get it in there. It's just fun. Well, the five golden rings in the 12 days of Christmas, likely aren't jewelry. It's believed that the line refers to the yellow rings on a pheasant's neck or an old-timey name for gold finches. I was going to guess buttholes.

Yeah, obviously, like calamari. You know, why didn't they just say five calamari? Because it's big anus. But they don't. It's different. But also, we were talking about this when we were singing Santa Baby because I always assumed in the top of Santa Baby, oh my God. What happened?

It's Lexi. It was Lexi behind. you and I thought that you were about to get attacked Holden. I thought that someone was about to kill you because your door behind you just opened and I thought you were about to be murdered. And obviously, MJ and I would do nothing about it. We're like, well, Lexi probably had a reason and I guess we can't stop. I mean, like, she heard the Christmas sun. Yay!

I mean, like, it's a Christmas miracle. They're just stabbing me every and ever again. She's been listening to. She's been hearing the abomination you've been doing to Christmas and she's just been in the other room. slowly polishing her knife. Totally, totally. And I completely, no, what I was talking about was the slip a sable under the tree for me, which I always thought was a car.

And because my father had a sable growing up. And apparently it's not, Sable means it's like a fur shrug that's not a car. And I felt very dumb. Even though everyone in chat, and I appreciate chat. Because Shad's like, Sable is also a car. You're not just an idiot. And I said, thank you. Wow, yeah, which would have been very different if I was the one who got confused.

Yes, oh, certainly. Oh, yeah, no, no, rip him apart. And then Lexi would come in and stab him, stab him, stab, and we're all like, yeah, I got it. And I do love, according to one rumor, the Gambino Crime Family financed Lou Monti's Dominic the donkey. Do you guys know? I think, was I talking about this on page seven last year that our friend Ash, who wrote Drag the Musical, and you should totally listen to it and check it out. We were screaming about Dominic the donkey.

E'aw, yeah. And so many people had no idea what the hell we were talking about. Wait, MJ, do you also not know Dominic the donkey? The problem is he's probably... That's not helping me know what you're talking about. Is that not? Oh, is that that's, but that's the sound of donkey makes sense. The problem is I feel like I have a memory of you telling me about this.

But then I think that my brain was like, you don't need to store this information because you'll never need it. But he's the Italian crew. Christmas donkey, J. I don't know if you realize what you're talking about here, but he is the Italian Christmas donkey. And apparently it might be based on the Gambino crime family. And yes, that is where I'm ending the list. And I need everyone, everyone's homework this week.

Listen to Dominic the donkey if you don't know Dominic the donkey. And you'd let me know if it doesn't put a smile on your face. Okay. I-ha-e-ah-I-A-H-H. Does he say that in the song? Is that just... Yeah, he's Dominic the donkey. Yeah, he's Italian Christmas donkey.

Okay. All right. Are we good? Why are you both upset about Dominic the donkey? Dominic the donkey is a banger, and I'm sad for both of you that you don't know about his existence. Does he come on like a houseless person? Yeah, no, it's not really for you, I guess, Holden. Yeah, there's none of that.

All right. Well, I might listen to it, I guess. But, uh... Oh. I'm trying to bring some sense of Christmas. whimsy over here, okay? God damn it. Speaking of senses,

my sight seems to be fading. Oh! I think I'm going blind items. Oh, we can't see them. The Pay Cable Channel is set to announce a delay to the start of filming next month of a show which is never really going to start filming ever.

Mocks, euphoria. Dead in the water. They keep saying it. They keep saying it. But I'm... I don't know if we're gonna get it, you know? Honestly, at this point, I'm fine with me. I think that it's too late.

Yeah, well, I feel the same. Everyone's like, I'm so excited for the Severance season two. I'm like, I don't remember what happened in that show. All I know is that it's really, really good and I swallowed it in like a day and a half. That's why I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember.

I don't remember it was two fucking years ago. You know what I mean? It gets to a point where it's like, move on. You know, we got to fix this. TV situation, this like television season change ever situation. You know what I mean? I just, if it cannot keep like this because I, for the first time ever, I'm like kind of uninterested in, if a season two takes two to three years to come out, what are we

fucking doing here? Especially in euphoria because it's just the, it's the high school or problem. Yeah. It's the Riverdale problem. They're too old. They're too old. It would be so weird to watch a bunch of famous people in their late 20s. act like high school.

Just like, you know, like, is that fucking. They're all so famous now. Just I, you can't go home again with euphoria. Yeah, you have to let it be. It would be so weird. If anything they need to do like them. You know what they should do? One special where they do a high school reunion.

Yeah, that would be fun. And act like animals. But even then the, the specials that they had were so beautiful. Yeah, they were great. Yeah. They were so well done. It's like, I don't know. I'm okay. And I really, I watched Euphoria.

It's just like, let's, we can stop. It's okay. Sure. Yeah. Also, I mean, with, I'm a freak. Yeah, like, I've lost all. It's weird how I loved Euphoria season what to do, and I've lost all respect moving forward after.

I don't really ruined a lot. Here, listen to my new, new version of my song. Yeah, I'm going to listen to that on Christmas morning. That's what I want to play while we're on. rapping presents. The sexed up remix of the mediocre pop song that's in the show. Yeah. All right.

Listen to this fucking shit. Huh? Yeah. It's my time now. That was your time before. Now it's me time. And it's already your time. And again,

thank you Zoom for just taking out whatever pitch you just did. Zoom silences holding sometimes. Every time I go into grokey mode, it just takes it from me. Anyways, the, do you have? have gronkey mode turned on? I think that's the problem. Can you turn off gronky mode in the settings? Oh, sorry, I'm busy. Granky mode off. All right. Now you have to clarify a pig.

You have to... Oh, yeah, no, we did. Don't worry. Yeah, no. Yeah, we did. One of those grids pops up, but it's like only clicked on the pornography pictures. It's just a bunch of porn. You have to like click only the porn. Yeah, which squares have diced. All right. The amount of time it took to coordinate the holiday purchase between these two co-stars was harder than a state dinner. the timing, the right paps to invite, what to wear. Oh, and of course, the new PR push, which is to somehow make it seem

as if the male co-stars X was the root of the problem for their split. If the co-stars may get to next installment still together as a couple, I will be shocked. Arianna Grande, you fucking... Do you think that they're going to last till part two? I do think this facade will live. this honeymoon phase will lift

I do think it's got to I think right now it did you guys had showmances right did you ever have show manses? I had show crushes. They hit hard and fast Oh yeah they hit hard and fast and then they immediately fucking go away as soon as

Yeah summer camp romance right And they're still in it because the next movie is not out yet I know they filmed it all though right It's all done yeah all the filming is done That's right so that's so they're still swept up in the whirlwind of it so I mean the only thing that Ariana Grande has said that she's going to not be putting out like pop music as much moving forward and going to focus fully on musicals.

So like that might carry them possibly. But if, but if not, then yeah, I don't, I don't see this going on forever. You know what I mean? I mean, he's SpongeBob. Okay. Yeah, but maybe. They're made for each other. You know, you have no idea.

Like, what if they were like, God to cut them out of. the mold so that they would fit together. From a page six article, it said, Ariana Grande, Ethan Slater, pick out Christmas tree in New York City. That's what this whole blind was referring to. It's a difficult thing to do, I understand. They're going to fight too. I know, right? They're going to fight too. They're picked out of Christmas tree in New York City. And they're dressed like ridiculously, but it's like clearly like all set up and everything.

Of course it is. As couple plans, low-key holiday together after Wicked Whirlwind released. What about your child, Ethan? Would your child like a fucking some time and a gift? Yeah. Nah. No, I'll do it all with Ariana instead. How old's the baby now anyway?

The baby's like one at least, right? Probably about one. The baby was six months when he left his wife for her. Well, first word ain't going to be dad-dad, that's for sure. Unless it's probably going to be where. Yeah. Where will be the first word. Where?

Where. Unbelievable. Last but not least, the large body of water singer is staying. at a local resort and it has been for quite some time. Apparently he was seriously injured in a rock climbing accident and has been in rehabilitation recovering for months. Large body of water singer. Is that what you said?

Yeah, his last name is a large body of water. Frank Ocean. Yes. I was like, oh, yeah. The Danube River. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You are so much better at hints than blind item writers. Like when they say wheelchair actor, I'm like, come on, blind item writer.

This was a blind knight. actually this was a blind item, um, uh, hint, the large body of water. Frank Ocean was in a bad accident. I guess.

He's been recovering from a crazy accident. Yeah. He recently debuted a haircut that's just the word gay and huge letters on the back of his head. Could that have been the accident? It didn't seem like he was debilitated by a accident. But, um, you know,

I don't know. Also, I have looked up with this picture of Ariana Grande, at Ethan Slater, Christmas tree shopping. And I know we've discussed that he looks like her brother, like her actual brother, not just like that. Oh, yes. But if you look at their faces,

they're like becoming each other in a way. You know, like I feel like Cynthia Revo and Ariana Grande are becoming each other. Like they're, you know, kind of becoming the same strange shape. But their faces, like you could, don't tell me that their faces could not be superimposed onto each other. You know what I mean? This is so funny. The second comment underneath it is,

Hope his kid is having a great Christmas too, or did we all forget about that? Shame on both of them. Oh, and underneath that from Emily, she's one of the prettiest women in showbiz and has the worst-tasted men. Yikes. We hear you.

We hear you. We hear you. They're adorable. Excuse me. Also, it was, I mean, this is the problem. Holden, forever the problem. Very funny with Ariana talking about how she had no idea at holding space for divine gravity men

that she was just holding on to Cynthia Rimo's finger because she's like I had no idea what she was talking about. She's fringinging. I'm pissed at them. I'm so pissed at them because in that clip all three of them were annoying and then those two bitches go and do this interview and try to make it seem like

only the interviewer was annoying and I'm like, no bitches you guys were both annoying too. She wasn't even trying to make that a big deal. That was the first part of a question. and she was going to ask. Cynthia Arrivo made that question annoying.

And then both of them tried to be like, that bitch was crazy, right? No, you're the crazy bitches. That's mean girl shit, man. Absolutely. Everyone's like, this is so funny. Oh, this. But I'm like, this is so mean.

This is so mean. The three of them were on a ship together that sank. And now two of them are stomping. Oh, yeah. What do you get? Shinking ship, by the way, but don't distance yourself from it. It was the one thing that, like,

endeared you to people, because it was so silly. And now you're going to, like, throw the interviewer to the bus, just returning all of us back to the way we thought about you. It was like such a dumb, silly, innocuous, fun viral moment at a time when we need something like that because the world's on fire. You know what I mean? Yes.

I did not like that post interview where they tried to make it all cool that they were like, that was so weird. No, you're not in on the joke. We're all laughing at you. Right. You're not in. You can't sit with us when we laugh at you. Yeah.

We're pointing and laughing at you. Unbelievable. Whatever. The world is hell, and now I can see it clearly. Oh, welcome back. The world is hell that Maddie Healy is posted about it on Reddit, and that's how you know the world is really. It's difficult for him. And the social media, it's like cigarettes, just like Billy said.

It's difficult for all of us, damn it. And I guess, man, you know when you hit that pitch of talking that you're ready for the holidays. Man, when you say that, that is a person that. is ready oh zoom just asked me playing music no i'm not playing music that was just my dulcet tones thank you so much zoom i'm just screaming zoom i'm just shrieking and thank you everybody for joining us on this episode of page seven my name is jackie zabrowski you can follow me on instagram at jack that worm and you can come hang out with mj and i on wednesday mornings over on twitch dot tv slash oh no it's jacky On Wednesday mornings, we play The Sims and we woo-hoo.

And also on Wednesday's, I guess, big Jackie Day is when Who's the Bitch drops every week. Check out Who's the Bitch, new show that I am co-hosting with Kara Clank from the That's Mess Up podcast. And you can get in your questions and advice that you need to who's the bitch.com. Holden. Check it out on Spotify. Hopefully just in time for your holiday season. it is a, we're throwing out, it is a dick, suck, slock, fuck holiday.

It's gonna be great. Check it out on there. Hopefully I'm working on a special right now, but I'm just trying to find enough, like, kind of people on the dark web who'd be willing to partake in something like that for the new album. But that said, check it out.

Holdenator's hoe on Twitch every Friday, Jack up with the Holdies. It's always a good time. Get it in before the holidays. I'm gonna be out for at least, I think just one of them. over the Christmas break. So come check us out over there.

Holdenaders ho on Twitch. Check out Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. So much bonus content. It's insane, dog. Page 7 podcast on Patreon. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Please sit in your conspiracies. Really loved the kitty litter Bono one.

Please, personal accounts, make them up. No. No, actually, allegedly. No, we won't real ones. We want real ones. But anyways, PACEFable Podcasts at gmail.com. M.J.

My name is MJ and I'm MJKLKat on Instagram. And we will be back next week, everybody, and we can't wait to hear from you. And you can send in your own shoutouts to page 7 podcasts at gmail.com. But you can also hit us up about absolutely anything you would like, page 7 podcast at gmail.com. We love hearing from you and we love talking to you. Everybody, have a great week. And we'll be back next week. Bye, everybody.

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