Page 7 - Ep. 565: My House Burned Down (While I Was At Joe Rogan)

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

This week on Page 7, Jackie is feelin' lucky despite the fires that rage around her, and Holden reminding her that no one has ever thought she was lucky, while MJ fears from the east coast that their cohosts will soon fall before the march of flame.  Jackie reviews the trailer for "Better Man" the Robbie Williams Monkey Man Biopic Box office bombGARBAGE. Heidi Montag and the human fleshbeard she's married to lost their homes, but then made TikTokz about not having money because of her big ol' flop of a musical career in 2010 and people made her song go popular, so now human fleshbeard cries in the TikTokz happily. The carrier of Ethan Slater's spongette wrote an article for The Cut and celebs in LA are showin' up in news coverage as Steve Guttenberg begged people to leave their keys in their cars they abandon in the road, and Dennis Quaid got interviewed as he was LITERALLY packing up his little sports car to evacuate. Meghan Markle honor's the fires by delaying the release of her new Netflix show "With Love, Meghan." Mel Gibson's house burned to the ground while he was being a POS on the Rogan podcast and now he's blaming immigrants, or anyone he doesn't like, for all his problems... again. Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Elvis LIVES?!?!?!? A List filled with surprising facts from celebrity personal lives, the Blindzzzzzzz and SHOUT OUTS!! Want to help out those effected by the fires in LA?  antirecidivism.org is raising money for the incarcerated prisoners that are fighting the LA fires, 100% of the donations go directly to them when you write 'firefighter fund' on your donation!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh, yes. Is it the song she's been quietly singing to herself as she stares into the middle distance of the last week in Los Angeles on fire? And they say she's so lucky. She's a star, but she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart thinking. If there's nothing that then, why's coming night. And I know why it's because our city is on fire. But, Jake, how do you get it? Because no one considers you to be lucky. Yeah, no.

No. No, nobody considers me that I look the way I do. Go ahead. Say it, Holden. I know. Just beat you when I'm down. Yeah, just everything. Everything about it.

Your life is what it sounds. Yeah, it's just, nobody thinks I'm lucky. Everybody looks down on it. Everybody goes, oh, no, we know why you're crying. Stop singing. Wow, yeah, that makes a lot of sense that you're crying. Yeah, they say that to you all the time. You should be puking and instead.

People are just like, I'm surprised you're not also while crying. She's so unlucky. She's so unlucky. I didn't say anything about your looks. Why isn't she puke? Oh my God. I was just thinking about that, Jackie, because you've been on a fucking tear lately. You had COVID Christmas into like flu Christmas.

Yeah, yeah, flew New Year's. Yeah, yeah. Flew New Year's into stomach bug. Yeah. Who knows? Who knows what happened? Whatever that was right when we got back in a town. Oh, yeah.

I forgot about my Pukzilla time. This has been horrible. Into the fires into the electricity going out into the fires. Really, really bad start of the year. Really, guys, it's, you know, can we have a mulligan? Like, can we start again? Yeah, that's how it feels. Can we like re-roll the fucking year?

Please. It's real weird that the last page seven we did, we were just like, ha ha, pretty windy out there. Right. Well, the electricity, that is so bizarre. I can't believe it was only a week ago that the windstorm happened. It feels like seven months ago. It's so crazy.

And the first thing that I said to hold of when we logged on, I was like, you have lived many lifetimes since I last and saw your face. Now that I think about how the windstorm was just a week ago, that makes me go, wow. Yeah, it feels definitely. For those of you that don't know, Los Angeles is very big. and some people are being affected more than other people, even though these are fires that have eaten up three times the size of Manhattan. But where Holden and I are particularly, we are completely surrounded by fires.

We're hilariously boxed in by fires. If you look at the map, you're like, Jesus Christ. Oh, you shouldn't be there, but we're here. Right. You know, we're here. We keep on, keeping on. And I just want to say thank you to everybody that reached. out over this last week.

I really appreciate you guys checking in on us. It has been a really, really wild time. And I just keep saying, like, I'm just so sick of living through unprecedented events. Yes. Yes. Can they stop? Can we not be over? Can we not be living in constantly new historic crises?

Apparently, it's just going to keep on keeping on because global warming. that nobody does anything about, you billionaire. I'm just going to say it up top. I'm going to try to not be filled with rage. Let's do it. Quell her rage. The rage is righteous.

The rage is righteous and appropriate. So go ahead. Yeah, hell yeah. By the way, yeah. Also, you go, girl. Fucking get it, girl. Thank you. I was screaming about the privatization

of water earlier. So thanks billionaires. But I do just want to say that it is, It shows the community and the spirit of Los Angeles. It was very funny. Henry and I got to like this discussion. Henry's like, I'm proud of Los Angeles.

We keep going. We keep working. And I was like, is that good? And then I realized, I guess it is good that we keep trying to just continue on as normal. But do you know how difficult it is to continue on living through normal when your whole life is packed into go bags, just waiting to leave and just waiting to see if everything's going to go on fire? There is no... Will it go! Will it burn, MJ?

Isn't it all going to burn? It's... Wow, Zoom is protecting MJ in my ears. Zoom definitely jumped in and was like, we need an evacuation notice on Jackie's voice. Jackie's pitch. And yeah, you got like, did you get that to MJ? Just a weird sort of muffling.

Oh, yeah, no, Zoom silences you both regularly. Zoom is like, you don't need this. You don't need to know what they're saying. It's fine. I do up top, before we continue, before up top, I do want to say if you are looking for a place to give donations to, I highly recommend the anti-recidivism coalition. It is antirecidivism.org. They are genuinely giving 100% of your donations to the incarcerated firefighters that are fighting these fires.

And don't get me wrong. There's also, there's many places to put your money. because this is such a devastating experience. But that's the one that I really appreciate. Our chat went out and I was like, I really want to be giving to the commissaries of the incarcerated people that are fighting these fires. I'd like them to be taken care of.

So the anti-recidivism.org, if that is something that you are intrigued by. And thank you so much. I will get off of my little pedestal now. Get on your pedestal. And I'll love to Henry. I'm glad that Henry is excited that people are going back to work.

but there are certain things after which... We never stopped, MJ. Well, right. We never stopped. But there are certain, you know, there's... I mean, I was watching, I like many, I think listeners with, you know, who weren't in L.A. was just watching from a distance with absolute, like, devastation and horror that this is happening. And I'm just like, this is the...

Like, we're page seven, right? We are a celebrity gossip and pop culture podcast. And L.A., which is the culture. production hub of the nation has just lost, you know, there are 100,000 people displaced. It's just impossible. And not only that, not only is it a tragedy that's impacting the entire city, right? But the fact that so many celebrities have been impacted, it's unlike any other, it's like we made fun of Galgado and the Imagine video at the beginning of

of quarantine because that time was so obnoxious to have celebrities be like, we're just like you. We're also quarantined in our homes, our big beautiful homes, right? And we got real pissed off about that. And I think we were right about that. I think we were right about that. But now the anger and the ire that are towards celebrities right now, I feel is un-fucking fair.

Absolutely. Any person that is losing their home and all of their possessions, it doesn't matter. I know that it is easier for some to try and recoup. but think of what is lost. These are things that cannot be replaced. It doesn't matter if you're Billy Crystal. Think of what he had in his home that he lost. Absolutely.

That was something I wanted to say from the beginning. And all the older people, too, that are losing. Like, Altadina are not the solid. Dude. Jeff. What does Henry have? His wind chimes? I need something to quell me.

I need something to pacify me. I know somebody just a regular person, not a rich person, but as a filmmaker who had been working on a documentary for a decade who's lost all of their hard drives. Their backup hard drives were at her mom's house. No. Also lost all of the backup hard drives. Oh, my God. So, like, thinking about what is lost.

But, but, yes, in terms of a word at the top of the celebrity gossip podcast, celebrities, rich celebrities even, sure, you might say that many people, you know, who were, working class and lost everything and then some of the people were, this is one of their seven homes and they lost everything. And to me, that's not where our anger should go. To me, Paris Hilton has more in common with us than she has in common with Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. And it is, there is a very, very small list of people who are responsible for the exploitation of the country that has gotten us to this point in terms of

climate change that are responsible for this. And Paris Hilton is not one of them. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are not them. Billy Crystal, Mandy Moore, I don't care how, I don't care. I don't care if they have other homes. What is a lot? Paris Hilton was like, my babies took their first steps in that home. There's no part of me that can't find empathy for Paris Hilton, fleeing in a van with her dogs. Like, as I made an Instagram post about this, but it's like, you know what? We all live on the fucking planet. And yeah, she's rich and it's, she'll have an easier time recovering her life than the working class people who lost everything, of course. But also, we all live on the planet. And like, nobody deserves this. Here, here, MJ. The one percent of the one

who are making this happen. Or the people that are privatizing the water supply. But, you know, those people, yeah, no, put your anger there. Insurance people still, you can continue to be insurance. But only the only the CEOs, not the people that work at the insurance companies.

Because yeah, they're, yet again, rat fucking the people of this country now with, you know, I guess a lot of people,

they took away fire insurance. They did that in Florida with all the flood insurance. Right, right. So it's just, yeah, fucks,

stack those people. And like, if you think it's like, you see all this stuff where it's like all this horrific price gouging that people are doing and it's like,

how, can you do this to people? And it's like, well, it's illegal to do that in California. Well, they're still doing it. This is my favorite. Well, they can't do that. Well, they are doing it. They are doing it. They are doing it. They're definitely doing it. So, so that people can't escape, so that people can't get anywhere. So I, I'm really trying to keep, you know where I'm putting my rage. But I know that we're going to get into celebrity, but I do need to say, I'm putting all of my rage towards the better man, monkey man, biopics. Yes, I am putting all of my rage towards the Robbie Williams monkey movie, even though

everyone's like, it's America's fault that he's not as famous as everybody. Because Robbie Williams is huge. I'm not, I don't give a shit. I'm just angry that I had to see the trailer so many times. But that is the funny thing about him. That everybody's like, it's because you don't know who Robbie. I know who Robbie Williams is. I've listened to take that before.

Like, I am aware. I still don't care. But it's also hilarious that, like, if you don't know, this is a movie where he's entirely replaced by a CGI monkey in the movie as this, like, deep artistic choice that is just so deep. You know what I mean? Because he himself is deep evolved. Is a performing monk.

Oh, I'm sorry, he's evolved. He is just, no, because he's different than the other men. So, you know what I mean? So, like, I'm annoyed by it. The comedy of us already not really knowing who. he is and then him replacing himself entirely and with the monkey makes us even more disconnected

from this guy. That was my experience. I think the first line of the trailer is like one of the most iconic, famous pop stars in the world. And I was like, who? And then I was like, okay, this is me being an American. Yes.

And not knowing. And I'm familiar. I'm familiar with him. But yeah, just he never. I mean, I've heard of him. He never had that like very necessary. you know, American breakthrough to turn you into, like, I think, a much more global phenomenon. Unfortunately, it's just the way it is.

We're number one. We're number one. You're going to say that while our city's been really burning? Okay, great. Yeah, we're such a great country. Number one in lack of water to fight fires. And shitty health care. And shitty health care.

Come on. You got to throw that in there. Number one in, you know, all it just takes is one big hit. to never be able to recover. But why is he a monkey? It's symbolic. Why is this the monkey looks so bad? And why does the monkey look so bad?

It's 2025. It's 2025. Can't we do better than this? What are we doing here? I know that, again, I'm just filled with rage and I'm trying to find better things to put my rage towards. So it's not just like something that's seething within me, like electricity underneath my skin towards my husband.

But every time I see the poster for this movie, I'm just, Phil, I just want to punch the monkey. I want to punch that monkey all the way back across the ocean. I will say that this is the weird effect that only happens to like people like Jackie who are very regular movie going audiences. That's what it is. Because then you see this trailer so much more than anyone else. Whereas actually it used to be like that for everybody because we'd all be watching TV at the same time

and seeing these trailers. But now it only affects the Jackie and Jeff's the world that are like the regular keeping the movie theater alive, essentially, and thank you for your service. Yeah, they will go to the movie movie couple, you know. We certainly are. Oh, we certainly are. In fact, I mean, you're going to hear about my time

with the broodless last week. She fled, other people fled the city. When Jackie lost her power, she fled to the movie theater. I went to the movie theater. movie theater was my safe place because I was like, you know where there's always power, you know where we can eat a bunch of popcorn. Let's go to the movies. Let's watch a four hour long movie.

There you go. And I've heard it was brutal. Yeah, we'll talk about it on talking to you. Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about it over there. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch, a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is.

I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch! We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits.

Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on. There's definitely a bitch in your life and we want to hear.

about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network, so subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel, where we'll be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. But thank you for listening to my anger. We can now talk about, go back into talking about the celebrities that are in the fire because I do obviously want to talk about Spidey, even though I can't believe I never would have thought we would be talking about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt on this show ever again. Ever again. I mean, we used to talk about them. I like to the hills what it was hot.

Yeah, I enjoyed it. But I have not thought about them. And yeah, I mean, Spencer Pratt is honestly the face that we need right now. He's making TikToks about his experience. He and Heidi Montag lost their home. And I think that it's really instructive to remember. I had like, okay, before I started, before I really, I was an adult or had any sort of career or anything, I had a very childlike understanding of like what success was.

And I thought, like, if I met something, somebody who had written a book, I would assume that they must be rich. Rich, right, which is certainly not the case. If I met someone who just had a byline at a good place, you know, the New York Times or whatever, I thought, well, you must be very established and successful. And then I went on to, for a decade, have a shocking realization that no matter how many good bylines you might get, or whatever, like you, that does not necessarily make you stable and rich. And I think that that's really embodied here with Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montaibing, Monta being basically household names. And he's like, what do we have?

Like everyone's saying, oh, boo-hoo, rich celebrity. He's like, what do we have? I think it's what people don't understand. We're talking about this before the show that, like, rich people oftentimes, like, not, like, or someone that owns a home like this in the Palisades, that I'm going to imagine most of his money was wrapped up in that really expensive house that they probably. bought when they did have that money a long time ago? That's the equity.

What has Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt? It's like, and so it is so crazy. In fact, we know what they've done, which is spend their money on her song. Yes. He says explicitly in one of his TikToks was a regret that they had been holding onto for the last decade. Although it is very... That's so amazing.

So then the people rose up and made that song hit the charts, which is actually an incredible moment for Spencer Pratt went on and got like emotional talking about how thankfully is because that was something people could do to help them. Because that is his hope for, was to listen to Heidi Montag's album that came out in 2010.

And by the way, she said at the time that, like, it didn't hit because pop music just wasn't that big then, which is certainly not the case. It is just so not the case. But that's why. It wasn't big in 2010.

I did listen to the album yesterday. It is very 2010. And I, but, you know, I wanted to do what I could to support. but what Spencer Pratt originally was saying with, like, he lost everything. And then he puts out this video that's like, this is really funny, guys, because for the last 15 years of my life, every comment has been about what a broke loser I am. And now that I just lost everything, now it's boohoo for the big rich celebrity. He's like, oh, now I'm a big rich celebrity.

And it's so funny because I know multiple people that. own homes, but it's like, that's where the money. Like, that's where their money is. It is in the home that they scraped to get the down for so that they could own a home. Yeah. And losing that, and especially with what the insurance companies are doing to people, like, what do you get, you who's really getting effed are the people that's not, it's not burnt to the ground, but their house is unlivable.

And then the insurances aren't paying out for that. because the house isn't destroyed. Also, this is just a... But they can't live in it, M.J. I'm sorry. Another, I thought of another person. What if God was one of us? Just did something like whatever would I make his way or something. I'm sorry. I needed that song.

Did you guys see the... And then Arianna's like, God is a woman. It's like, no one cares, Ariana. Because you stole a baby from a woman or something. Oh, my God. Did we have we talked about that, uh, the cut essay from the other, from the woman that Ethan Slater left? We didn't because there's been so much. No. It was while we were like gone. It was while we were gone. And justice, I've been saying. And then it was such old. Justice for Lily J. I believe is her name. Justice and Peace for Lily Jay. It's a great article. If anybody has a read it. It's a really

article. She could tell she's very smart. And, and, um, devastated. Like her life really got fucked. Um, Oh, yeah. And then she got reminded of it everywhere she went on billboards. And, and, and, And every client she had. Could you imagine? No, I can't imagine. Do you imagine getting on like a subway and seeing God and being like, what if God was what of us? God's just one of us, man. Just a slob like one of us, man.

Seeing the other woman who destroyed your marriage. But what I was going to say with. What if God, ooh, do you think God goons like we do? Dude, how fun is that? Depends on if he's on the bus or not. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, they'll take him off the bus. But then he'll be like God's hounds.

He's goonin on the bus. You got a. Put your dick away. They'll say that, but he'll be like, God powers, evacuate. And everyone goes through the windows and stuff. Dude, I got a movie idea. But then we have to evacuate. Then we have to evacuate.

Don't say the word evacuate. I'm sorry, MJ, what were you saying? I'm so excited for it now. It'll be like speed meets Fast and the Furious meets Bruce Almighty. Yeah, there you go. Stuck the landing. Bruce Almighty is a... Bruce Almighty.

I haven't heard that name, but 100 years. Yeah, with the side of yes, man. Remember we talking about? Oh, yeah. You can't lie or whatever. It's so good. MJ, what are you saying? I was going to say that did you see that there was a tweet of somebody of a wealthy person who lived in the Pacific Palisades when the fire started posted a tweet that said,

does anybody have resources for private firefighters who can come and protect my home? I will pay any amount. and somebody reposted it on Twitter with the screenshot from Titanic where Kate Winslet's mom is saying, will the lifeboats be seated according to class? Which I keep thinking of. And then the, so I feel like all the Spencer Pratt hate is so just weirdly, again, just misguided. But it is very strange that a horrific catastrophe has unfolded where, wealthy celebrities live and the whole last week has just been like name after name after name of people

who have lost everything but then there were these like amazing bright spots of like the moment of one of my favorite like moments from last week when this when the the palisade stuff was playing out is there's this man on the street news interview with somebody who's like leave like i'm trying to move the cars off the freeway please if you evacuate your cars leave the keys in the car And the news anchor is like, sir, thank you so much for trying to help. It's like, you know, this man has a hat on. His mask is down. And he's like, this is horrible.

He's like, it's a really like tense stressful. There's smoke and fire everywhere. And the news anchor just goes, sir, what's your name? And he goes, my name is Steve Gutenberg. Gooch, goosh. I love the goods. And then the Dennis Quaid interview. Don't be saying that while I'm saying,

Goosh. Let me think about Steve Gutenberg for a second. Let me get all goozy for the goosey for the goose. Goots. Come on. For sure. Sorry. I didn't mean to get un- Un-Good your Gooch. Gooch. For Goots. Thank you. My bad. Yeah. I forgot about how I'm not supposed to.

Three minute a baby. Come on. Steve Go on. And then the news anchor very clearly like knows the name. It's just like the news anchor is like Steve Gutenberg. Oh, are you an actor? And he's like, yeah. I'm an actor. I would have flipped out. See, that's the way I would have acted like the news reporter that was talking to Dennis.

Quaid, I would have been like, it's the Goots. The Goots is looking at me in the eyes. Nootie, poochy Gootcies. Oh, nooties. Yeah, he would have turned into Jay and Silent Bob. It would have been awful. No, I would have just started making

sounds like the cop and police academy. And then maybe, like, he would have seen that that's what I was doing. But then maybe he would have just, like, kind of walked me away because maybe he thought there was something wrong with me that, like, I wasn't able to communicate properly with him.

But it's like, give me a chance, Gutenberg. Now, we are talking about Dennis Quaid, and this interview is very funny. And I do highly recommend you looking up the interview of Dennis Quaid being interviewed as he is literally packing up his car trying desperately to evacuate. Shoving shit into his tiny sports car too. It's very comical. They really bury the lead until the end of the interview when all of a sudden they show him trying to shove it. And it's in this little sports car that he's trying to shove just like the trash bags.

It's like he doesn't know how to pack the car. And this. He doesn't know. He's obviously never packed for himself. Never packed a car. I think the funniest part to me is like this interviewer is both tried to be very concerned about the fires for his job, but also is like clearly starstruck by Dennis Quaid. And is like so excited to be talking to Didis Quaid.

And like that weird gray area is just where comedy exists because he's just like, Oh my God. I, oh, Dennis Quaint. He was just like, things are really tired out here. Things are bad. And I've got a special someone I'm out to talk to him about it. And it's just so off color. It just does it.

Yeah, it's just so wrong. And then just to watch him, if you want a celebrity, they're just like us a moment. Yeah, it's just, and no one's helping him too. And you're always saying you're like, can someone from the production crew help this fucking guy? It's especially if you're angry. It's not like a quick thing. But especially if you are angry about Dennis Quaid's politics, definitely watch it because it is very funny to watch of just like him.

He knows because he's on camera, he's like that ingrained in celebrity culture that he's got to keep a cool. I would have flipped out. Leave me the fuck alone. There's a moment after 10 minutes where he's like, okay, well, I'm going to stop talking. with you because I am in the middle of evacuating. And the guy, the camera, the talk, the anchor is like, okay, all right, great to talk to you, Dennis Quaid.

I'm just going to stand over here. I won't bother you. And then the camera pans over to Dennis Quay, trying to shove the bags into the trunk. He'll record him. And they're not suitcases. They're like, they're like gift bags. Yes. He's done a bad job packing.

And he's like trying to shove the shit in the truck. And then the fucking guy standing there trying to do the hit is just like gravitates back over. to him and keeps talking to him. Yeah, well, to be fair, he does correct the newscaster because the newscaster was wrong about the electricity going out due to the winds. And he was like, actually, they turn it off on purpose to try to avoid any further fires getting started.

And he was like, oh, sorry, Dennis Quaid. That was more than me about this. And it's just so funny that he starts getting involved in like messaging stuff. He's like, just by the way, if you are heading out, just remember you can find your gas line, turn it off before you leave. Very important to do. I was just so ridiculous absurd. The world makes no sense anymore.

I think that's where we're at. I mean, just nothing is like, it's like last action hero, right? Like, they came out. They're coming out of the screen. Don't say that. And now. Then the monkey's going to be in my fucking house and then I'm going to freely flip out. Dude, I hope a fucking, I think that's about all that you have left to happen to you and

your bad, like, don't go to Vegas. Better man shows up in my house. I was like, no. A monkey's just living with you. Last monkey is right. No. This monkey just lives with us now. I don't even understand, but they tell,

the government's telling me, like, I can't not have this monkey live with me. You know what I mean? I'd be like, all right, I guess a monkey. It's me and the monkey now. I guess it's Robbie Williams on the inside, but I don't know. He's evolved. Like, I don't know, but just the cops show up every day and just continue to make sure that a monkey lives with me.

And I'm not really sure why, but just is, I guess it's because I'm an AMC Stubbs member, and I feel like that's how I got wrapped up in this. And like if I could, I guess, I think that's the only way I would have to stop my stuff. The neighbors got Nicole Kidman, but we got this fucking monkey and I'm just. Can't I get the baby girls?

Send the baby girl over here. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Unbelievable. Baby girl me. Dude, what a baby girl is with a monkey, dude. How fun would that be? I don't want to watch it with a monkey. I want to watch every movie now just with one of the characters

is a fucking monkey for every reason. All of them, yeah. With bad CGI, oh, good. And it's like he still played the monkey. Like it was him with all the sensors on for the CG. So I'm just, I just, you know, because part of me is like, well, then at that point, get somebody else to do it. Right. Right.

Why not? Just do the voice. The whole thing out. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a head scratcher.

This movie is a head scratcher for sure. But she really wanted to turn it up to 11. So thank you so much. much for really showing us once again who's got, you know, who's got the pull in the culture wars. Anyway, I'm still screaming. Oh, who me? Dennis Quaid, who me? But you were talking about the Goots.

There was also, like, an instance with Bill Hader that was really great with him and a news crew. And I do think that it is... Yeah, I'm like snooze crew. I think that they're having to work very hard. Closer to the fires. I say fuck them all. Is that the monkey that lives in my house? The monkey's doing the podcast now.

Oh no. We needed a new co-host and it's a fucking monkey. Oh no. What are we? With love, Megan, come on. No, don't we can't enjoy Megan Markel's. We can't enjoy Megan Markle's new show yet because guys, she postponed the release of her Netflix show because of the fires.

In honor of the five. fires. I can't. She's pro fire. That's the weird thing about all this. She wanted to honor the fires by not doing the show because she loves the fires. Here's the thing. And I am fully aware that this is a double standard because if she went through and pushed

through and like tried to have a release right now, I also would be giving her shit as well. It's a really. It's a lose. I can't. It's a lose. This is annoying. There is just something about making an announcement. Right.

I think that's it. Maybe that's all it is. Like you didn't need to make it about you being brave. Yes. Ding, ding, ding. Excuse me, everybody. I was going to be launching my show. My show was going to have a big successful launch.

Everyone has been screaming about it. Everyone's been waiting on the edge of their seats for it. For my With Love home show on Netflix. But because of the horrific tragedies, I will be postponing my show. Hold for applause. Right. Taking a bow. I think that that's...

I think it's the way it's framed. It's framed like her being brave about it and being like so amazing when it's just like, no, just this would have been a dumb, bad time for you to do it. And you know that, that you're going to have a better chance

at success on this thing while everybody, you know, when everybody's not... She's saving her own self from a, from bad press. It's just a business decision. People do that all the time. But also, it is a PR move.

Like you said, this could have just been done and they didn't have to have multiple. headlines about it everywhere. I don't think anyone would be frantically Googling when is Megan Markle's show dropping. It was supposed to drop today and it's not dropping today.

You could have just held it because Southern California is in a state of emergency. Right. And not making a big post about it. Right. But you know what? Can you imagine there is someone out there that's devastated that her show isn't dropping? Sure. Can you imagine that person and what they eat for breakfast and like what they, you know,

what car they drive? Like, I don't know. I just, it's, I'm trying to. visualize this moron, you know, this sad. They were both seen volunteering, so I will give them that. Interesting, MJ, that you say that and how many of the pictures, when they just, like, happened to notice that a bunch of media was there so that they could pull down their masks so that everyone knew who they were.

Yes. Yeah. Yes, you're right. You're right. Just like Steve Gutenberg. I'm not personally moving everyone's car. So I'm saying, cover it off, do it this. And I'm not saying that everybody has to be a Steve Gutenberg.

of Gutenberg, it's just the performative actions of it that right now is so irly. And don't get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that they are at least helping and doing something. It's just the fact that they obviously, their PR machine was already revving because they were supposed to release this week. They were supposed to release a show this week. So now it's like, it's hard for me to not look at that. Because honestly, which is probably a bitchy thing to do, I believe it's just a Bateman's sister, Justine Bateman,

who is an actress, came out and was like, oh, look at these disaster tourists. Oh, interesting how they just fucking show up. And like, oh, what they're doing for Los Angeles, their city, what they give. And she got, and then, now, here's the thing. I imagine they do have foundations. I'm sure they're giving money towards charities.

Isn't that like part of the like, she was like, I want to be. Yeah. Right. That's what they champion different causes, right? Like, so I'm not saying that they do nothing. It is just I have, I am filled with rage right now. Yeah. And I just think about the individual marmalades that she's sent to the A-lister's so that the A-lister's so that the A-lister's will watch her show.

And then I see, and even though I don't have any untoward feelings about Mindy Kaling, But then Mindy Kaelin came out and was like, actually, Megan's like really down to earth. And like, her, resies are like really accessible. And it's like, bitch, you're just a guest on one of the episodes. I know your PR. This is not you choosing to be like, actually. It's like, no, this is, I just, I see your PR. I see it all.

You can't take it from my eyes. You're like Neo, dude. You're like Neo after taking the fucking. Yeah, man, I'm red-billed, bro. Yeah, dude. You're red-pilled, but not in the annoying. way that they've co-opted red pill to be about shitty bro dudes.

Yeah, no, not like that. I'm not talking about the Matrix. Yeah, and now you see the PR. Yeah, and it's awesome. Even the fact that they responded to Justine Bateman through a source that was like they have been dedicating countless hours to volunteering

and like, yeah, it's whatever. I don't care. Like, do your thing. I just feel like, I mean, I know earlier in the episode I was saying hatred towards celebrities is is specifically celebrities who lost their homes

is misplaced but I do feel like there is yeah there's just I understand Justine Baseman's statements and then yeah you look at again somebody like Paris Hilton and I know here at page 7

we have become big Paris Hilton stands because she we are Paris Hilton We are apologists for her as well I can feel that's true and she has become an incredibly appealing celebrity to us personally but like

you know she's out there at the Pasadena Humane Society like posting videos with ID numbers of lost animals trying to reunite animals with their with their owners you know she has been because I follow her on Instagram she has been extremely active with fundraising and so I just feel like

you know in a way this is like a celebrity is there just like us like for real because again we all live on the planet and devastating things have happened to many celebrities. But then there is just the, there is like a little bit of specifically with Megan just being like, don't worry everybody. We'll launch when this tragedy is over. It's like actually no one asked.

No one asks. Oh, no one cares. I wonder what kind of emails we're going to get after this one. I'm sorry. I'm filled with rage, everybody. You're fine. I think that's okay. People want, hey, we're in the shit, dude.

and people want to fucking hear about our bullshit, okay? So be mad, be whatever you want to be, Jackie. Yeah, don't be sorry. People can be mad at me. I'm not in this shit. I am interested to see what kind of fucking wackadoo unhinged-ass emails are going to get based on wherever you fall on the burgundy culture and class war. I will say at least one good sign is that I think we all need to be looking at a class war as opposed to a culture war. And at least people are talking more about the rich these days than they are talking about like the, you know,

I know the army of trans people that are trying to take over New Mexico or whatever it is that they think. The rich and powerful. Again, I implore us. There was, I posted a, I reposted a great shot that was a great screenshot from Instagram that was like, please don't talk about climate change as if it is a tragedy. Talk about it as if it's a crime. And that's where my anger, it's like this is being done to us. Right. And it's not going to get better.

And it's not being done by Steve. Gutenberg for owning a nice house in the Pacific Palisades. It is not going to be done in the next four years. My name is Steve Gutenberg. My name is Steve Guttenberg. It's such a funny name to say very seriously. Steve! All week I've just been saying to myself, my name is Steve Gutenberg.

And Jackie's going, she's so lucky. And I'm just going like, I like a hot dog, I like a hamburger, I like a... I don't know what I'm singing. Um, yeah, there's, it's been, you know. It's brand. It has been one week. God, Jesus. Wow.

It has been one week. It has been. And if anyone's mad about anything I've said about maybe I'm unfair towards Megan Markle and maybe I'm too fair towards Paris Hilton, you can yell at me. Well, you know what I say in my head when you say that? She's a bitch. She's a bitch. She's a bitch and she's a bitch.

I just changed all the words to bitch. To bitch. Because you know what? I got a feel about old Megadoo, okay? And I think Megadoo is full of hoodoo and Shoo-Soo. I just think she's not very bright. And she was handed kind of millions of dollars for not good work. That's all.

What annoys me, it's like, it's in the same way that I feel about a nepo baby that I feel like if you marry into something like that, that like you, you are inherently giving into that system. Yeah. You know what I mean? That you are then, even though I know. And then you start making dumb decisions like, I'm going to put a garden in my car. You know what I mean?

Just dumb. You just wake. up and just do like, I want to put a water slide and a hot air balloon. And you're just like, that doesn't make sense. You don't deal with normal problems like other people deal with. Jackie, just like, I totally agree with you, just like a NEPO baby, it's not inherently bad. You just have to be a good one. It's how you deal with it. It's what you do. You're a good one. You're a good one. You got to be good at it. And if you're a rich celebrity, you just have to be a good at it. You have to be a good person and you have to be a good one. You know, I feel like that. Is that

arbitrary? Maybe. But I think my heart. really lies in the fact that that like I don't think I'll ever be rich and if I was rich I would want to act differently and especially if like I was just given that money I would feel that I

shouldn't just make 50 you know unique jams or and it's I'm still angry about the Spotify deal I'm still angry about the fact that they were given they were given millions of dollars to put on a show all they had to do was show up and do the show and they even couldn't do that well you know i think we're in

knowing what i okay if you don't know like the advertising bubble on podcast like burst and right now the people who are getting the deals are like the kelsey's hot to a girl which i love saying her name out loud because she dis a fucking period after she scammed people out of millions of dollars oh she gone now dude have you heard anything she's gone completely with radio silence bro. Isn't that crazy? She just doesn't exist anymore after she's scammed a bunch of people out of money. It's literally like, it's just like

the Megan Markles of the world. All the money is going towards like a very small group of like celebrity podcasters who in my opinion don't really have the right to fucking be like all the way at the tip top like that, you know? And get and then all the like

smaller guys like we're swervel. It's my, this is where my anger rocks. So when people are, we're so lucky. Yeah. You know, so yeah, we get a little annoying, like, that's another, like, class warfare thing, many one happening in podcast where it's like the dream of podcasting, right? There's such a symbol for the American dream, right?

The dream of podcasting is like, you can start talking to a microphone in a small room with, like, minimal equipment and work, slowly work your way up to being, like, one of the top dogs, right and America America again and went no fuck that none of you guys are going to get anything now we're just going to give it to like the absolute elite fucking richest most vapid fucks you know or if you make a blowjob joke that becomes a fucking viral meme you know we'll give you shill bags of fucking money and act like you have any right to talk to a microphone for shitloads of listeners you know what I mean Also, you know where else we can put our anger towards Mel Gibson?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, we put our shit in terms. Well, you man. God, I love that he was talking all that shit into a microphone on Joe Rogan while his house was literally burning to the ground. Burning to the ground. He was on the Joe Roe. And now he's, of course, coming out being like, is it all on purpose?

Because of his wild. If someone asked me to, if I could burn your house down on purpose, I would, Mel. So I hope it is. Yeah, I certainly would have. I love the people who are like, well, it must be undocumented immigrants doing arson. How else could this happen? And it's like, does the Brace Hurricane of Fire mean anything to you? I love that.

It's like, is it all a coincidence? It's like, yeah, there's no cause and effect between a literal windstorm and then the fires happened off of that. Are you fucking out of your mind? Like it's such an obvious. A place that historically and famously catches fire and historically and famously has these Santa Ana wins. Oh, it must be an undocumented trans

arsonist. Yeah, the only thing you can point to in that sense is just the fact that they, yeah, they cut a bunch of fucking money out of the fire department like right before this happened, which was dumb as fuck. That's not a conspiracy. That's just a dumb, real government budget fuck up, you know?

But Jesse Waters on Fox News is saying that it's because there is a woman fire chief and that's where I wish I was joking. It's DEI. I wish, oh, see, that makes a lot of sense, MJ. I wish I was true. That's why our city's on fire.

There's a woman fire chief. Thank you for explaining this to us. Maybe I have hypocritical politics, but you know what? Mel Gibson's house deserved to burn down. And you know who else's house was? Jesse Waters from Fox News. No one else. I'm going to let everyone else's house stand,

except maybe that man who asked for private firefighters. Oh, my God. Dude, I love that his house burned down while he was saying so much fucking stupid shit into that microphone that day. Just like, God, what a fucking turd, man. That phrase, just my house burned down well I was at Joe Rogan. It's like, that's a 20-25.

That's not conspiracy. That's karma. So switch the C with a K, change the word. Should have known better. Yeah, should have known better, dog. Talk, take it up with Jojo. Whoa. Piots.

Yeah, where is Joe Joe silent through all of this? Where is Jojo? Is Jojo okay? Yeah, where is it? Is Jojo in the palisades? You know, I didn't see them listed. All I know is that her studio is in Burbank and so she should be worried. Oh, well, yeah, I guess, but Burbank's doing not terrible, I guess.

For now. For now. We're just in the red flag zone. Sitting in an emergency. It's just a consistent state of emergency. We're fine. I just every 15 minutes, I cover myself in water and that's how I'm staying out of it. I think you should.

If the pandemic taught us anything, it's that an ongoing, constant fear of emergency at any time is great for your mental health. It's not going to have any long-term impacts on you. No. And I'm guys. You're probably doing great.

Yeah. I realize we have to get to the celebrity conspiracy. But yeah, I realize now why I didn't tell you guys I had COVID. Thank my mother for that. I have such a negative reaction now to people worrying about me. and checking in on me because of my very worrisome mother. No, no, you're okay. That's okay.

I appreciate it. I'm trying to remember that it's actually like really sweet and good because Lexi was like. MJ, when you said it's like you were waiting on correspondence from me in the war when I was, uh, posting on Instagram. You posted your hot Pringles taste test. I was like, you snack, you snackuate is a great joke by the way. I hope they're not,

I hope they're not, you know, yeah, hiding and their back. bathroom right now out of fear for the fires that we're just drinking on Jack it with all these. I saw you streaming and I was like, God bless a man. We're just making cum jokes and slamming jokes. I was very happy. Happy that you're okay. Well, anyways, I realized we're going over screaming about the fires. But come on.

Yeah. Hey, we're in the shit, Jackie. I feel like this is a very important episode for people that want to hear from folks like us. You know what if you're literally surrounded by it. Can you believe in the biggest. news stories slash crisis in America. Also, I'm still laughing at the fact that Holden and I started Jack in on Friday with this girl is on fire.

And a lot of chats and it was too soon. And we're like, we will tell you when it's too soon. All right, we're the ones surrounded by fire. We were laughing our asses off because it's just so absurd. It's all you can do. Anyways, hit me with the share. Do you believe it? Elvis Live.

Let's talk about it. I have been, man, my husband and my brother have been obsessed with doing the Austin Butler Elvis voice, and that it's weird that you just brought up an Elvis thing. You should start doing the Tom Hanks voice. It's way more annoying. Start being the colonel around him every time they're doing the Elvis voice, Jackie. That's a very good idea, and I will start doing that. Just get a little like a chant to Claire out of them. That accent needs to be studied by.

scientist. Oh, how? I do to cloud, Elvis. I gotta rewatch. I need to look up his clips and try to get his accent down. He's all do the same. I'll turn into the kernel every time they try to do it. Every time they do it. But so Elvis is alive. Yes, two people wrote in. I haven't seen one of those headlines on a tabloin in like 20 years. That's very 90s National Inquirer.

This is the and National Geographic when that monkeys started pretending to be Elvis. That was insane. Oh, they should make a movie out of it. where a monkey plays Elvis. Get that monkey out of my house. Yeah, I'm so glad this is like the er-selevity conspiracy, and we're kind of coming back around to it. Two people wrote in about this, oddly enough, with different theories.

Well, I think they actually align. Two people wrote it about Elvis being alive? What the fuck? It's making the rounds on celebrity, on like TikTok and shit, right? Cassandra sent in a TikTok that claims there is, quote, DNA proof that a man who has been living in a mental health facility claiming to be Elvis is actually Elvis. Furthermore, he has the same name as Elvis's twin brother

who died at birth. Also, apparently the medical details of Elvis's death have never been released to the public, and everything we think we know about it is speculation. Then another email came in from Aurelia, who wrote, I was scrolling through Reddit and found an insane Elvis conspiracy theory that I knew you and Jackie and MJ needed to hear. I have loved all things Elvis for a very long time, and have never heard this theory before, so I was super excited to come across it. So this person claims they heard the real story of Elvis from an old drunk in a bar off Hollywood Boulevard.

The comment goes as follows. Elvis's full name is Elvis Aaron Presley. He was born a twin with Aaron Elvis Presley, who died shortly after birth. Elvis Aaron, Aaron Elvis. The story goes that Aaron didn't really die. The parents were dirt poor and couldn't afford two kids, so Aaron was secretly adopted.

Fast forward to Elvis and Elvis becomes a superstar. His manager and record company, the colonel, give us a colonel, Jackie. Oh, I'll say, I'll say it again. I'll put my pre-nace in my own mouth. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's crazy. I never knew he did that. And record company worked him to the bone.

He was always recording, performing, or making a movie. Elvis got sick of working so hard and threatened to quit. It wasn't like he needed the money, but his manager, Colonel Tom, had a trick up his leave. Colonel Tom told Elvis that his twin was alive and that he had found him. Can he give us that, Jackie? Oh, let me all know your day, when you're gonna be around here,

you got another brother. Elvis was overjoyed his entire life. He had thought about his twin and wondered what life would have been like if Aaron had lived. They met and it was magic. It was as if all those years apart hadn't happened. It was like they had known each other all their lives. Aaron could sing too.

In a rich baritone like his brother, he'd spent years singing along to Elvis records, but somehow never wondered why they looked so alike. Until Colonel Tom contacted him, he hadn't even known he'd been adopted. Elvis was due to start his Vegas residency, a compromise suggested by Colonel Tom, still performing every night, but without the touring. Elvis didn't want to do it and hatched a plan. Aaron took Elvis's place and performed every night in the Vegas Hilton while Elvis took a long-needed break.

It was Aaron who went crazy with excess. All the alcohol, food, and drugs he could ever want. It was Aaron who got fat and bloated. and it was Aaron who died on the toilet in Graceland. Elvis himself lived until the late 90s in rural Wyoming, eventually dying of cancer. How the old drunk in L.A. knew all of this. I don't know, but I choose to believe every word. Some holes here, Elvis was known for his dancing and singing in equal measure.

If this theory were true, Aaron would have also been just as good at dancing as his brother. How feasible do we think this is? Apparently Elvis constantly visited his brother's grave and spoke to him as a child slash adolescent. and so this grave would have had to have been a fake. If so, how would this have pulled off without anyone knowing? How would they have pulled this off? If this was true, both Elvis's parents would have to have to be in on it. He was very close with them, especially his mother, who was an honest Southern Christian woman.

So, do you believe? Isn't it crazy that it used to be the actual, like, most people practice is to not tell your child that they were adopted? I know. Like, it's a shameful thing. Isn't that so insane? Yeah, that crazy. Sorry, that's what I really took from that is the fact that just, man, so many people were just lied to for most of their lives as if it's something that they should be upset about. He'd rather to talk to the colonel.

Well, I do the clear, I do say, where the rain's been coming down, but the vibe been going up. Okay, wow, he's an expert on fires. That's good. So honestly, it's good that we have the colonel around now, because I'm going to be. I feel like the colonel does know a lot more about the fires. Very good, very good. And we should ask him a couple of questions. I do.

Of course I believe. I would ask him any more questions. Why? You ever see, you see. It goes, flame is hot and you won't. When you get on closed with it goes, why? And you have to, I need closed captions. Ah, yeah.

Also. Zoom is also protecting us from the kernel as well. Why? I don't know. It just, it wants to protect just a little bit. Every now and again, it gets frightened.

I'm getting the gist. I'm getting the gist to it. I think the gist is all you need when it comes to the kernel. You just need the gist. Do you believe, MJ? I guess I believe, honestly, this is the type of conspiracy that makes me want to sit down and give up three hours of my life,

you know. And look into it. You know, my big issue, the reason why I don't believe, is they say, oh, he was the one who was into the excess. He was the one who got all big and fat and all this stuff. But one of my favorite documentaries I saw as a kid is titled The Burger and the King. And it showcased all of Elvis's eating habits.

And bra, he was fucking cro, craw, craw. I was about to say maybe we should stop shaming Elvis for the changes that he went through later in his life. But it sounds like maybe it was. I mean, his body just caught up to his eating habits. Like he just had an insane metabolism up until a certain. age because he used he like a maniac. Henry was telling me that apparently he also used to he had his own cop car that like a decommissioned cop car and he would go out in the middle of the night and pull people over just to be like,

hey, it's me. I'm Elvis. That's the kind of shit I love. And like that is it does make me like Elvis for. I'm like, oh, what a fucking crazy person. I don't, if you are a rich, famous person, I don't understand how you don't do. That's why I think we like Timothy Shalame so much, like him showing up at his lookalike competition. That's the kind of shit you should do.

Yeah. If you do happen to be rich and famous, you can start doing shenanigans. You know, like Bill Murray, we always talked about back in the day, you know, like you will never believe this. Like, you got, it's all got to, you know, you got to play with it, you know. Yeah. Sorry, I said the well, just because I was thinking about Bill Murray at all the, like, green point Brooklyn parties was he just tried to hit

on like 20 year olds sure, you know, some of those choices. He was a rest, sure, he was a bit of a rastabout, you know what I mean? Rastabout, I guess. I feel like that's the thing, they just used to be rastabouts, now they're offenders, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I don't know why it's going in that direction. I say bring the rastabout back. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, well, let rastabouts, be rastabouts. You're damn, Right. Well, okay. Well, I guess we believe

and it is time for the list. Oh! Who's on the list? Jack A, got to have that list. Your sister's your mother. Your sister's your mother. Jack Nicholson's sister was actually his mother and 36 other wildly shocking celebrity facts I can't believe are true. Now, we did know that about Jack Nicholson.

I've said that on another listicle before because we always do the, yes, I say, your mother, yes, sister. And it will always make me think of that. But there are some fun ones on here. I'm going to skip through the Dennis Rodman ones because, yeah, he's friends with Kim Jong-un. Yes. Yes, Dennis Rodman broke his penis one time when he was having sex. But did you know that former U.S. Senator Ron Paul used to be an OBGYN and he delivered

Selena? Wow. Selena's mother also didn't know she was pregnant, which is my worst fear. She went to the hospital because she wasn't feeling well and was initially told she had a tumor that had to be removed, according to Selena's father. Seeking a second opinion, she met Ron Paul, who told her she was pregnant,

and later delivered her child. So without Ron Paul, Selena may have never been born. I mean, I think she was going to get born at some point. Someone would have delivered her, but the fact that it was Ron Paul is, that's very special. It's interesting, isn't it?

Yeah, that's interesting. Wild. Well, did you know that speaking of politicians, Ronald Reagan, Buh. Indirectly saved his own life when he appeared as a Secret Service agent years before he ever became president

in the film Code of the Secret Service. Nine-year-old Jerry Parr saw the film and was inspired to go into the Secret Service himself. Decades later, he was with Reagan during the assassination attempt against him and helped save his life. And his wife was the blowjob queen of Hollywood. Oh, really?

Got the lips on her. Nancy Reagan. Throat goat. Get her out. She's the throat. She was the record of that era of Hollywood. Oh, yeah. Now, we all do know that Osama bin Laden was a major Whitney Houston fan, which is something...

Every name you're saying on this list. Rod Paul, Kim Jong-un, Osama bin Laden, what's happening? Yeah, what is going on? It's all over the place. But, I mean, it is interesting. Facts, as a kid, Terrence Howard witnessed his dad stab a man to death while they were in line to take photos with a department store Santa in what became known as the Santa line slaying. Terence said the man, who was also there with his

family, made a racist comment to Terrence's father, Tyrone, after he thought he skipped in line. Tyrone was arrested and pleaded self-defense. He ended up being convicted of manslaughter and spent 11 months in prison. Wow. Only 11 months for stab a man to death. Yeah. It's not shabby. Sounds like it was self-defense.

I won't get into the Terrence Howard math thing because it is his life's mission to prove that one times one equals two instead of one, but we won't go down that road right now. because that's just really weird. I guess I never really... I feel like I've said this before,

but I think I always forget it. When Angelina Jolie was 22, she hired a hitman to kill her. She was suicidal, but she was worried that the people in her life would blame themselves if she died by suicide. She found a hitman in New York, which she said wasn't difficult,

but he ended up talking her out of it. She said he was a decent enough person and asked if I could think about it and call him again in two months. Something changed in my life, and I figured I'd stick it out. So she was already successful at that point, right? At 22, I mean, Gia was, she was really young with Gia, right? Angelina Jolie, 75.

I know she was born in 75, and when did, a girl interrupted was 1999, so she was 24. Okay, so this was before she, like, broke through with her career. and stuff. That would have been kind of fascinating if she was like had got sudden success and then was like... Well, she wasn't hackers already.

Okay. And she was John Voight's daughter so she was probably like famous-ish anyway. Yes, yes. A neps. Yeah, she was a neps. She was a neps. She was a neppy.

She was going after it. Yes. Good nepp. Good nap. Better nap. Than her. Better nap. Father, good Lord.

Apparently, Travis Barker similarly tried to pay friends $1 million dollars to kill him after suffering a traumatizing plane crash in 2008. The Blink 182 drummer said, I would call

friends of mine and go, I'll deposit a million dollars into whoever's bank account to take him out. Damn. Jesus. Nuts. The plane crash itself is a wild story. Before the crash, Barker's then wife decided to stay home the last minute in case something happens. Their daughter also hysterically begged him not to go, telling him the roof was going to come off.

Barker himself had a bad feeling about the flight, but got onto it anyway. The plane crashed shortly after takeoff, killing both pilots, Barker's assistant, and his security guard. Oh my God. Barker and his friend DJ AM escaped the crash, but Barker jumped into jet fuel in his hurry, causing him to catch on fire. He spent 11 weeks in the hospital and almost lost one of his feet. Oh my God. I had no idea. Jesus, I had no idea about this. That's crazy. How, good Lord. Was this pre-Blink 128? I don't know, dude. That's, I mean, I was in 1008. No, that's. He had a security team. so definitely not pre.

Yeah, 2008 is no way it was free. Wow. Yeah, 2008's wet. Post the peak of Blink 182. Yeah, yeah. Damn. It also sounds like it was a private plane. Yeah, certainly.

Yeah, I guess. Oh, my God. Jesus. Man, so Julia Roberts, right? We know that she was a runaway bride herself before she starred in the movie Runaway Bride. But did you know that Martin Luther King Jr. paid the hospital bill when Julie?

Robert's was born. Wow. Why? Roberts's parents ran a theater school that let in the King's children at a time when few programs would admit black children. When her parents couldn't pay the hospital bill, Martin and Coretta stepped in. Wow. That's just crazy. That should be the second thing that comes out of anybody's mouth when they're talking about

Julia Roberts. That's such an interesting fact. So we never heard that before. And speaking of MLK Jr., Samuel Al Jackson once held his father, MLK. senior hostage. Jackson was part of a group protest against the administration and curriculum, which involved locking the school's board, which included Dr. King, in a room using chains from the walkways for a day and a half. At one point, Dr. King had chest pains, so they, quote, put him on a ladder, put him out the window, and sent him down. Jackson ended up being kicked

out of school for the protest. Yeah, I always forget about this, but that, yeah, Sabin-L Jackson has this history as a pretty militant activist. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. And last but not least, this is also one that I remember, but just in case you forgot, Fran Drescher claimed that when she was younger, she was abducted by aliens who put a chip in her head and that the same thing had happened to her ex-husband, Peter Mark Jacobson. She says, you know, it's funny because Peter and I both saw aliens before we knew each other,

doing the same thing driving on the road with our dads. We were both in junior high. A few years later, we met and we realized that we had had the same experience. I think that somehow we were programmed to meet. She continued that they both have scars in the same spot where the chips are, though the aliens programmed them to think the scars were for something else. All right. Yikes.

Yes. Yes. All right. Well, I think I'm going blind as shit, dogs. That's right. I'll say it one more time. Yeah, then we'll say it. Like, what we do.

Blind. We can't see up. All right, now that I have your silence, he's stunned silence. Now that I've bottled your silence. It's very easy to do by just screaming noises. You sound like the monkey that lives in my house. There's a monkey, my house.

There's a monkey living in my house. No, no, cry, cry, cry. There's a monkey. It's in my house And I can't get it out The government won't let me We gotta do this parody song This is great

This A-list actress has been acting Since she was a teen And done hit movies and television shows She and her long-time husband Are splitting because his fetish is out of control Not Jessica Alba An actress that's near and dear to us She is

She is... She's splitting from her husband Yeah, long-time marriage They're beloved. I doubt this is true, but it's a crazy blind, so I included it. I think they're very still much in love from everything I've seen. We love her. She's in our lives on the regular these days.

She is... Oh, Sarah Michelle Geller and what's Freddy Prince Jr.? Yes, and it linked to a weird website, this blind link to a weird website that alleges that he has a diaper fetish. O-o-G! Whoa! And my heart just goes out to everybody. out there who's a SO has a diaper fetish.

I could only imagine what you're going through. I think I would rather be close to the fires than that personally. That's good because you are close to the fires. Yes, I am close to the fires. And your wife doesn't have a diaper fetish. And neither of us have a diaper fetish. Thank God.

Up next, the A plus list singer is curious enough about her ex that she was caught not stalking his pages but his fond pages. J-Lo? No. Whoa. Damn it. She's amazing.

Everything she does is amazing. Taylor is stocking. Natty Healey. On Jojo? On Jojo. Oh, Jojo. Tiniest penis. The tiniest British man in the world.

He is good in the brutalist. He's a great actor. He's a really good actor. I've really liked. He's great kinds of kindness. I've liked him in everything I've seen him in. And there was this really... That's saying a lot.

There was this very sweet interview he did about how special... I mean, he didn't destroy her. No. I think he just fell out a lot. I think he is truly the victim in that breakup. Like, to get a whole album and all these songs, and he's very quiet and private, you know, and like, I don't think that, or at least I don't think he's some kind of perpetrator.

I think he's just a depressive, deep, moody actor guy. Yeah. And it was perfect for her for... Yeah. for quarantine. Yeah, they just weren't a good match. It was perfect for her even in quarantine. Right.

That was great for that. And then as soon as quarantine went away, a lot of... She threw them away. Yeah, like a lot of people either realized their partner was wrong for them in quarantine or they got together with someone in quarantine and they were like perfect for them in quarantine. And then, you know, it was like, hey, we can go out now. And the person's like, I don't want to go out. Yeah.

I like this. You know what I mean? And it's like, no, no, no. Now we get to go to parties and stuff. Like hang out with people and like. go to concerts. It's like, no. You know, it's like, all right, I gotta get rid of this guy.

Yeah. So, but he did recently speak in an interview about just about how, like, special it was to get to collaborate with her for those songs on, like, folklore and stuff and, like, how, how cool that was, you know? And then also how, like, hard it is to go through a public-ass breakup like that. Good Lord. Yeah. With, with, like, the pop star that everyone is talking about that year, like, in every,

Yeah, you get upset about bigger. Yeah, Lily Jane, but then think about that. Like, think about what he had to go through. I know there's no child involved, but still, that's a lot. Yeah. Unlike this bastard, the A-list singer-slice sometimes actress has been distant, and it was her boyfriend who insisted on being in public with her. He can tell the end is near.

Speaking of the Lily J. I mean, already kind of... No, there's no. I think they're going to stay together through part two. Don't you think they're going to say... I think it's a showman. I think maybe through part two. But the end is, that still means the end is near

because part two's coming out. November. At the end of this year, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, this is such a showmance. It's like such a class. This is so funny. This is high school on the biggest stage you could possibly put it on.

I just feel like I know that we now have been beating the drum here for a while about how much he really, how he's bad. And we try to share the blame. We try not to blame Ariana for home reckons. No, she's. No, I do. blame him. I think they're both to blame. But after reading that cut article and this woman being like, my life has been completely

fucked, I just feel all sorts of new waves of feelings about this extremely weird romance. There's more nuance. The reason why is there's more nuance to it than that. She actually talks about how like he is like a present dad when he's with their kid and that, you know, it's more like, I think what's great about that article is it isn't just a total like throwing him into the fucking fire. It's so much more. Well, please, please hold it. The Palisades fire, throwing him into the Palisades fire.

It's so much, right. It's not celebrity gossip. It's actual human. Yeah, the monkeys calling from inside the house. Yeah. No, that cut article is like an actual, the human side of what celebrity gossip looks like. Yeah. This is what it's actually.

It wasn't scathing. It wasn't, you won't believe what Lily J says. No, it's this very deeply sad, just, just, yeah, bummer article about how really like it's just been so hard to become known for this breakup too when she's like a woman who tries to help other women with like abuse and and stuff like that. Fuck it sucks, man. Or helping pregnant women deal with like depression and postpartum and stuff like that. I think that's a lot of her work. And to be known like so publicly for this thing involving those kinds of things. But that's crazy if he just blew up his life and her life

for Ariana Grande and now it's gonna last a year or two years? I swear to, I will be so shocked if this isn't a showman's. Yeah. I will be blown away. Yeah, but also how many relationships end like that where it's like it is also just like and then it fizzles out and it's like

why did you blow up a whole relationship just so that you could go you know, stick it in somebody and rub it against somebody. It's not just that, but it's the whole lifestyle. because you would, I mean, I would like to say I am not so good that I wouldn't maybe be swept up in the whole, because it's not just her vagina hole, Jackie. It's the whole lifestyle.

Your whole life changes completely overnight, you know what I mean? And you're, you're- She's so lucky. Yeah, and you end up in your crystal palace. All right, that's my life, okay? You live with a monkey. That's the only thing. And other people are lucky, but it's not your thing.

It's not my thing. It's not my thing. Not this week. You'll never be lucky. Not this week, everybody. I can see again, though, Ethan Slater. I really just didn't have a lot of blinds going on, Ethan. I'm sorry to throw you under the bus yet again.

But, you know, the blind is like, this fancy celebs house is on fire. Yeah, I can't believe we had a show, honestly. When Jackie said articles, I was like, there's articles. Like, it's... Aside from the fact that everyone's house is on fire. Honestly, this is the most

prescient time. I don't even know what prescient. What does prescient mean? Whatever. But this is the most the goodly time for us to do an episode because we're in it.

It's the goodly time, man. We're in it. What does stupid prescient mean? I feel like I should know what the word means. Yeah, you're using... You're right. Having her showing knowledge of events

before they take place is not what this is. I don't know. saying, Holden. I don't know what you're saying. We're screaming about monkeys in our house. We're just having a murkyy and monkeys at our house. We're literally surrounded by it. We're actually so connected to like the biggest story in the country.

And it weirdly just happens to evolve a ton of celebrities also. It's just so weird. So yeah, I do think it's weirdly an important time for us to be recording page seven. And feel bad for us. And I don't even want your well wishes or anything like that. I don't want any of that. I like your well wishes, so I appreciate them.

Holden and it's just being holding. I like to be pitied and I want you to pity me. And MJ, I feel like you're not pitying me enough. Oh, okay, good. Because I was... MJ reaches out. MJ's been reaching out every single day.

Yeah, but it kind of feels like that it's reached out every day's my mom. Are you hurt yet? Are you, you know, do you feel bad yet? It's kind of this way that I think MJ wants... That is not what it means. It makes MJ grow stronger. Uh-huh.

You know? MJ, if you just want to check in on me for now, I won't use the page 7 thread. No, don't. I want you to check in. I'll keep checking it. You get none of it. You get none.

I'm glad that you guys are okay. I'm glad that I'm not glad that you're in a ring in a ring of fire. But I hope that the ring does not come any closer to you. Let's keep on all. And I can't believe that you made a show out of this in the middle of all this, Jackie, not having power for several days and somehow finding articles that weren't exclusively about all the celebrities who've lost their homes. I wonder how Jay Leno's doing.

Yeah, I hope he's something. You know, I thought about Jay Leno a lot during the wins. And now that the winds are back, I just feel like Jay Leno is just laughing at me from flappers. I feel like I can feel his jibes from flappers. And it makes me upset. Put your rage towards Jay Leno. He didn't ask for it.

Anyway, that's our show. Thank you guys so much for joining us. And again, thank you for the well wishes. and thank you so much for just thinking about us at all. We really, really appreciate it. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm because now I'm doing Jackie's Sunday Snackies

and I got to do something with all these snackies that I bought. So it's time for you to watch me eat them and follow down the path of how angry am I going to be at all of these freeze-dried snacks that are now coming out. Anyway, also come hang out with me. Honestly, we had, despite, the everything despite our city on fire Kara and I's

episode of Who's the Bitch this week is quite a fun one so definitely check it out. If you're listening to this it's already out so go check it out over on Who's the Bitch on Last Podcast Network. Holden. Hell yeah, Jackie, who is not ugly. I am not ugly.

Thank you. If you have to say it, that means it true. Thank you so much everybody for joining today and do appreciate the people reaching out. I also want to say Twitch.tv.4 slash Holdenators Ho. If you want to watch Jackie and I just drinking through the flames, uh, every Friday still, we're doing it. Twitch.combe forward slash holdenators ho. Uh, should be a pretty wild one this week.

Hopefully if all goes well with the wins, the many wins happening over the next couple days. Um, also check out, uh, yeah, check out, uh, Tears of a Clown and LPN TV every Wednesday. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast, the most important thing to check out. If you want to support us further, it really, really helps us keep the show going and keep this content train, a churn in. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. Jackie's Book Club, weekly bonus leftovers. We talk about all the articles we didn't get to this week. The Buffy Watch Along at the $10 layer.

It's an amazing place to go for a bounty of content. It's kind of insane. So check us out on there. And also community, which is really interesting. I love our community over on your Patreon. Get to know the other super fans over there because it's a really cool bunch of people. And then also page 7 podcast at gmail.com. Please send your conspiracies in your anythings.

And we really appreciate it. Page 7podcast at gmail.com. That's all I got, MJ! My name is MJ and I am MJKLKat on Instagram. Also, our Sims are going to be back this week. And come hang out with us, Twitch. Oh no, it's Jackie M.J. and I play The Sims on Wednesdays, and we couldn't play last week because I didn't have any power. So come hang out with us. We love making them smang, everybody. But now it's time to sing the shout-out song. Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it about. Come on. We're going to read them to you. Come on.

It's time for all the shoutouts. Ooh, it's time for all the shoutouts. Oh, Jack, you needed a second shout-out song. You damn right, I did. Thank you so much for sending in your shout-outs. And you can send in your own shout-outs to page 7 podcasts at gmail.com. You know we love hearing from you.

And you know we love, oh, my God, any puppy pictures like Gomez that I received today, and I love your dog. I love your dog. So if you ever like, I would love to share these cute animal pictures with someone, I'll take them. You got a dog in a costume?

I'll see that picture. Page 7podcast at jemal.com. Is that, you know, I'm lost right now, all right? So sometimes, yeah, I got to look at a picture of a dog and a costume, and then I smile to myself. You know, we just got to do whatever we got to do to get through the day. Anyway, it's a shout-outs. My first shout-out goes out to the parent of Gomez,

themselves. It goes out to Carly. Carly says, I am writing this ahead of my 36th birthday on Saturday the 18th. Happy almost birthday, baby! I am excited to have made it yet another year and have been sober for almost eight years. Congratulations. I love listening to your banter and think you're the sweetest and the funniest. You're so sweet. This year for my birthday, I'm premiering my first feature-length film 119.m. MP4, maybe it's 119.m.4, it's a found footage horror stand-up comedy special. Since getting sober, I've delved back into my hobbies from childhood. But now I have the money and freedom to visit whatever haunted or fucked up sites that I set my eyes on. Hopefully I can go to Germany this year and live out my Nassirotu fantasies, minus the ether and necrophilia. Okay, I guess if you

want to be lame or not. No, it's not. I completely understand and I support you. Page 7 has become my default podcast and always calms me down from the stress of life. I wish you all a happy year ahead. Now for the best part, hello for my doggy Gomez and Gomez is perfect and I love you, Carly, and I love Gomez. But also, how can we see it? Where, after the premiere is, are you going to be, are you going to be posting it anywhere? I would love to check this out. This sounds awesome. Please share it with us. and if we can share it with other people, let me know page 7 podcast at gmail.com because I would absolutely,

that sounds so interesting and I'm immediately on board, sending you so much love, Carly, and happy almost birthday, baby. Now we've got one more shoutout and this shoutout, oh my God, so cute. This shoutout goes out to Olivia. Olivia says, I'm Olivia

and I want to shout out my best friend slash little brother Izzy. Izzy is the coolest, smartest, wisest guy I've ever met. We didn't get along much when we were younger, but as I grew out of being a hormonal terror, we started to get along, and now he is literally my bro. We have been through some crazy plots these past few years,

but I'm glad I had you there to witness them and also snap me into reality when I needed to be. I also want to thank you for always helping make my birthday special. I am cursed with a birthday on Christmas Day. Oh no! But every year, Izzy and I go to the mall and watch a movie between the Christmas festivities. It's really the only part of the day that reminds me. It's my day too. And it's my favorite tradition. I always love that it has grown into seeing a Timitay movie every year. And I hope that man keeps acting just so we can keep this tradition alive. Oh, finally, I would also like to shout out you guys at page seven. I love you and you have also been there for me pretty much every day of college and much of high school. I love reading Jackie's Insta captions, watching MJ's Insta stories, and also just hearing hold and get so fired up about Ariana Grande.

Well, you must have loved this episode. Thanks to y'all, the chorus to, I think am I like it, is in my head all year round. Thank you all for being there for me. I love you. We love you right back, Olivia. We love you and we love your beautiful brother, Izzy. Oh, God, that's such a wonderful birthday tradition. And I hope that Timotei does not disappoint, Tay.

That could have been better. Let's hope he doesn't disappoint. Sending you both so much love, thank you for sending in shoutouts. We love hearing from you again, page 7 podcast at gmail.com, sending you all of the love that I can muster. I just hope you feel it from me. And I hope everybody out there, if you're listening, I hope you are. We're safe. I hope everybody you know is safe. And we're just, we're going to get through this. We're going to get through this. Thank you, Daniel Bettingfield. We've got to get through this. We'll be back next week. Hopefully. We love you guys. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.