Page 7 - Ep. 566: Go Suck On Some Soup

Episode Date: January 24, 2025

This week on Page 7 Jackie, MJ, and Holden the Slyc3r are feelin' the horrors of the world this week including the death of David Lynch. Twin Peaks gets everyone talkin' 'bout small towns, Holden reveals he loved the Avatar pinball game, MJ gives a report from the trenches of children with the flu and norovirus, and fulfilling some apocalyptic prophecy, Progresso releases Soup Drops. Jackie sets some details straight about the SNL 50 documentary covering 2Hot4NBC Henry's audition, plus Snoop Dogg, Carrie Underwood, and other celebs, brought shame to us all on Jan. 20th! In Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: Did Tay lip sync ALL OF HER ERAS SHOWS!??!! The List - 12 wild reasons celebs declined parts, and BLINDZ!   Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We'll soothe everybody, and maybe I'm not the only person who's had this song trapped in their head all week, and maybe it's just because of the beginning of the song. It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on a newspaper, baby. Oh, yeah. Love and tradition with a grand design. Some people say it's even harder to find. Well, then there must be so magic glue inside these dead walls. And all I see is a tower of dreams

Real love bursting out of every sea Day's goodbye It's a big o' love Oh, the fan Welcome to page 7 It's not family matters, I know You thought Oh my, oh, the Zoom just asked me

If I was playing music Because I was so Thank you, Zoom Thank you, Zoom. I appreciate it because, man, guys, I don't know about you, feeling a little manic. Yeah. And maybe there's a lot going on,

and maybe I'm just deciding to try and, like, not look at any of it and just, like, ding around, like a bat on the inside of my own brain. Because it's just easier. Yeah, I mean, it was funny that they couldn't predict that you wouldn't be reading any good news on the newspaper page, because newspapers would be a lost tradition.

We don't read anything on the newspaper page. They were killed. Lost art. Unless it's the post. You know what I mean? Because then that's, I mean, headlines for days. They were taken from us by the internet, which then became a even worse propaganda machine than the newspapers were.

I miss my hometown paper so much. It was, you know, it was a town of 55,000. It still exists. It is a town of 55,000. And every front page is like, look at this third grader science projects. Or they'd be like, Jerry's mad at Rob. Absolutely. Needs to stop drinking.

Oh, yes. There was a story about this dirt pile on these 16th Street that nobody knew what to do with. See, this is the thing. I don't understand. I'm going to say it, confession, up top confession. I don't understand really, like, populations of cities. I understand that, like, it's a number. But, like, you said 55,000, and I was just, we've been recently watching Twin Peaks.

And that town is a 51,000 person town. And everybody's up at each other's business. And in my brain, I was like, but that seems like a lot of people. But turns out in town math, it's not that many people. So small. And everybody knows everybody's business. It's tough. I think it might depend on the town.

One time when I was in college, I had bonded with this friend over like our hometown experiences and like growing up in a small town and like what it was like in a small town. and then she was like, how many people are in your town? And I was like, yeah, about, you know, 45,000 to 55,000. And she was like, oh, my town has like 1,200, you know? So it's like a, yeah. But we had still had so many very common experiences. I think my town is literal, Dubuque is like, there's a saying, the little lady from Dubuque, it's like a town that is famous for feeling like a small town.

But I trust David Lynch. And I trust that in Twin Peaks, a town of 51,000, probably, also feels like a small town, you know, so I think that it, and it depends. I've just never lived in a small town before. And recently, I keep saying that I'm like, I'm ready to live in a small town. I can hang in a small town. But my husband is from a small town. And he's like, I don't know if you can, Jackie. I don't know if you would like it because I've never lived in a small town before. Right. A lot of gas. But then wouldn't everybody love me? I love gosh. There's no kind of, I think that, uh, how I felt.

about being in a small town. And also my town has, like, grown a lot and changed a lot, and I haven't lived there for 20 years. So I'm probably, unfortunately, sadly, not the authority on it anymore, which is crazy to me. Whoa. But, you know, I think that it's hard to, like, reshape your, it's hard to remake yourself. I think that who you are kind of follows you around in a small town. Although, you know, you always have a chance to remake yourself. I graduated from high school with.

90 people and I went in with most of those people. Is it Charlotte a big city? Yeah, but I went to a private school. Oh, is your private school? I wore... We didn't wear pants.

We were pantaloons. I bet you did. We had to wear a custom brooch just to get in. Did you have a hold and embroidered in all of your panties? Oh yeah. And on the knees of all of my pants.

These are mine at La Crosse. Don't you other lacrosse people look at mine. Yeah, we had like a kissing class. and like artisanal pottery class and things like that. We learned how to make candles and bread. But yeah, it really sucked. You were kind of pigeonholed.

It was hard to reinvent yourself. That's why I couldn't wait to go to college. And I think why I was like, get me out of North Carolina completely. Because I was like dying to reinvent myself and was so sick of being that annoying, you know, grading. Go be annoying. for his lumps and his dumps. Yeah. Famous for your lumps now.

It's like not only 90 people who know about your lumps. Now there's thousands who know about your lumps. I switched out candle making for bowling and which Jackie failed and never looked back at FSU. But yeah, it sucked. I really felt like I could not like just shake off the musk of whatever I was in middle school. And I didn't do well in middle school. Like being placed on the, you know, Squid Games hierarchy, right, after the first, you know, several months. Oh, were you not number one in line?

Yeah, I was not. I was number 89 in line, right? That said, all that said, when I was teaching, I taught, you know, it was New York City. So it's New York City, but it was a small, it was a school where the same 200 kids had gone to school together the whole time. And I kind of loved it because even though, you know, there's the kid who, you know, there's the kid who. kind of like the weird kid kind of stays the weird kid from kindergarten to fifth. By the time you get to fifth grade, everybody kind of knows that kid and everyone kind of loves that kid because they're part of their community. So I feel like there is, this is probably, I know we have

to talk about David Lynch, but I feel like there is something to having a community that is so surrounded, like you are so ensconced and that you're so in it that like kind of no matter who you are, they have to accept you. But then the problem is if they don't accept you, then you feel relief. Then you're on the outside looking in. And this is why I'm being seduced by the small town of Twin Peaks. And I'm just like, I could live here. I could do this. But I also have to remind myself that not every small town is run by David Lynch. And that is just not usually the case. Yeah. Yeah. And nothing interesting would happen. Nothing interesting would happen. And it was just the same Meyer just trying so hard to get a lady to see what I was,

was an ad in there. That's what you had, yeah. And I mean my heart, Jack, you know my pants. I'm proud of you. I'm worried about your oversized heart and you should probably get that checked out. Okay, you're just like the Grinch. And now it's three sizes too big and that's what they don't tell you about when your heart gets too big. is then it's going to explode.

And now I have to go to a doctor. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Same with the other. Oh my God. Same with the other thing. Dude, I've read, I've never taken a DP,

which I use not for what you're thinking of, double penetration. I've never taken a dill. Oh, I was like up your, like up inside of your penis? I was just surprised. I've never done either, but I've never taken one of those pills

because I've read horror stories, guys, of what happens when you take it too much. Are you talking about like the bodega one? or like the prescribes? You're talking about the Boudega once. But still, if you take too much to that stuff, it hurts and it hurts

and it won't go away. And then they have to take a huge needle and stick it into you and drain it out. Yes, they do. They've got to drain the blood, bro. I know, I understand that that's what happens, yes, if you have a bad side effect. But I think that that's also,

you know, don't be buying boner pills of the bodega. Point, counterpoint. He's got nothing to say to that. I guess I can't say to that. I guess I can't stop him. Are you hear that heavy sigh? How can I get him to stop? You silenced him.

I guess he'll never stop. I guess he'll never stop. I made up and is stupid. But you know what else? You are disgusting. I think, I just think that people should be taking the dick pills. There's no shame in the dick pills. Absolutely.

No shame in the game. You know, I do see this headline and this kind of makes me think of you, Holden. Josh Gad says he was denied a role in avatheals. because he looked like a, quote, tall, overweight smurf as a Navi. And that just kind of makes me think of you, Holden. I love that. Is it because you both are so cruel to Josh Gad every Thanksgiving stream? Yes, but mostly because I think that I was thinking about Holden having to dress up and be in Avatar.

And I think it would be very funny. Yeah, yeah. I just imagine him being like, I got to get in the water again. I have issues with Avatar. Jake loves Avatar. It's like our, it's like snorks. Like I always talk about like loving storks and Jake hates it. And now Jake turned it on me.

And I still haven't watched Deepest Bluest. My hat is like a Sharks Finn avatar too. I was just sorry. I was thinking about that L.O. Cool J song for Deep Blue. I'm sorry to go on another tangent on top of a tangent here. But do you remember that song? Oh, it's all tangents on tangents. We're trying not to think about the current state of our reality outside of the walls of where we are right now.

Yeah. we're like, what else, what else, what else can we talk about except what's going on in our fucking country right now? The chorus of that song was, deepest bluest, my hat is like a shark's fin. Over and over again. It is one of the... Is it from deep blue sea? Yeah, it's because every one of those movies had to have a rap song by, you know...

The Adams family. Every... They want us. They do what they want to do. Live what they want to. Every scene because of like men and blood. We are the men. and black, like, because I think it started there.

You remember that one. But yeah, after that, every single, like, summer blockbustery action movie had to have, uh, what? Did you know there's a deep blue C two and a deep blue C three? Of course there are. I had no idea. I had no way to find out so many fun facts on this episode. I don't have to talk about who the president is.

Wait, speaking of, speaking of, um, uncontrollable vomiting, though, I have to make Talking about the inauguration? I was on the tantrum of the topic. We have to wrap. All right, hold on, well, let's wrap a couple things up here. Okay.

Demus Lewis if I had it's like a Sharks' Fit, go, let's do it. It's extremely dumb. What, what, how did I get to that? Oh, yeah. Avatar, I'm mad at how much I liked the Avatar pinball game we played at the pinball bar on my birthday, belated birthday fun time. Oh, MJ, you missed a great party.

I will say we ate a bunch of meat. And I didn't play pinball. I was too busy having fun talking to my bitches, but a lot of the boys played pinball bar. Love a pinball bar. I'm glad you had a fun for a day. They had a labyrinth. That's nice. They had a newer one based on labyrinth.

Uh-huh. That one was really cool and it had like characters up above. That was a really cool picture. I love when Gideon and I were in Asbury Park. We went to the pinball bar there on the boardwalk. It's like one of my favorite places. I love it. I love it when it's just pinball too and you just sink into pinball because you kind of have

to like play it for a little bit to like get into a groove, you know. But anyways, real quick, where do you lie on, on Avatar. Are you an Avatar Margar? I don't know what you call Avatar people. Are you in... Avetista? Are you an avatista? Are you a Navi lover with a you? I'm gonna say I'd never seen it. I'm not sure which one of us you're talking to, but yeah, I've never seen either one of them.

I just feel like all of it makes me want to make jokes and make fun of it because I have been told. Everyone just kept saying how bad it was when it came out. So why would I see it? Well, no, I mean. obsessed with it. It's one or the other. Uh-huh. All right. I could sleep, but also it's just one of those where it's like, but it's also

one of those where it's like if you don't see it in the movie theater on like IMAX with 3D goggles on and like a chair that's like splats and water at you and like feeding you weed and jerking off while you drink Fireball, then I don't think it's really a solid time. Yeah, you're just like

Ooh. It's kind of what we all watch. I think someone's finger in front of the seat. Sounds great. See, that's why I'm not watching Avatar this. I mean, I just can't do it. You got to catch it week one. Now, MJ, where are we going to say about vomiting?

I just need to say something at the beginning because I know that we, I know that everyone's vomiting because of who the president is now. But also, I'm in a fun little game of Russian roulette where one of my children. children has the flu and one of them has norovirus. And I've interacted with no one except them for so many hours. I've lost count of the hours. You're covered in it right now. I'm so glad we're not in the same room. I love you, MJ, but this is the only time I'm very happy that you live across the country

from us. Oh, yeah. No, I would not, I would not, could not be here if it was going to be us in the same room because I could not, because guess how many people in my family now have Norovirus. The extended family that we were on like doing a little weekend together with. Is it everybody? It's like why the last man. It's like it's I think seven people worth the count seven of people with norovirus. And and you know to great great to flu A's credit. Only one person with flu A but I've been in a norovirus and flu a sandwich. And so I know that one of them is coming for me. I don't know which one. And I. honestly don't know if I'm going to make it through this podcast without getting sick. So I just wanted to put that out there at the beginning as like a fun, will they, won't they?

You know, like, will I make it to the end of this podcast. By the end. We'll be pewed in and shitted by the end of this. Because it comes on quick. We were going across the bridge from Manhattan to Brooklyn when one of my kids just screamed, my belly hurts, my belly hurts. And she really sounded like fat bastard. I had to do every, it was everything I could. She was like, my belly. My belly! I mean, you kind of laughed a little bit, right? But were she currently puking and shitting all over the back of the car?

We were on a train, and I was like, if this kid pukes on the train. And I wasn't even like, I didn't have my normal parent bag with wipes and shit because I had a bunch of suitcases because we were coming from a hotel. And I was like, if this kid peaks on the train, I don't know what I'm going to do. And we made it home just in time for the puking to start. So anyway, it comes on fast and strong. And I want to say that at the beginning of this podcast, because if I'm not here by the end. Are you feeling it?

I don't know. You know, it's hard to tell. I've been. Yeah, at that point, you know, what somebody it's like, it's like every time when he gets pink, I always just start going like, I keep my fucking eyeballs falling on my head right now. I can't. That is my husband. I never have it.

I never end up getting it. I just always like, oh, I think my fucking eyes like cracking open right now. Because the first kid got Noro on Saturday night and we're recording this on Tuesday night and ever since Saturday night, Gideon's been like, I know I'm about to get it. I know I'm about to get it. And I'm like, dude, you don't have it. It's your anxiety, you know. You can't give in yet.

You have to wait until you get hit with it. And then you get with it. So anyway, I'm just setting the scene. And as a result, you know, it's kind of an appropriate way to start this new presidential term, you know? Will I shit or will I puke? In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch.

A little baby bitch. A raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's a. unclear who the bitch is. I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out

who's the bitch. We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits. Does your coworker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy?

Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on. There's definitely a bitch in your life. life and we want to hear about it. You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us.

New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the last podcast network. So subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the last podcast network Twitch channel where we'll be taking your calls live on. air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. And I will say I got a Nora virus. A Nora virus, so I married this stripper on a trip to Vegas. And, oh, see, I thought you were the stripper in this scenario. I feel like you're definitely more the Nora. I wish I had her moves, man. God, she can really crank a ding dong. All right. Norah's a good movie.

what you're saying. Yes, it is a great movie. But we do need to talk about the man that died this week that has made everybody sad. It is, man, I don't know if you are having, I mean, you're probably not because you're just covered in like puke right now, MJ.

I had time to read Kyle McLaughlin's beautiful. There you go. That's good. Beautiful tribute to him. Holden and I have been trying to watch more, we've been watching some David Lynch and we've been trying to get back into the Lynch holes. I love that you're You're diving into Twin Peaks because there's a lot to love about that show.

And Jackie was talking about how on Target TV you could check that out as well. She kind of, it was a drunk. It was funny. We have these drunken watches. I have these two. I'm like, I was, I think, too drunk watching this show, which is also already embarrassing. I need to go back and actually give it a like fair shot. You know what I mean?

With just a lot of weed, you know what I mean? Because you do need that to watch Twin Peaks. But I will say to anybody getting in, like, first season is incredible. Then in the second season, David Lynch got alienated for the networks. They made them, like, say who the killer was way too early and put all this pressure on them. So he literally leaves the show. And the show gets bad for a little while. Oh, it's like season two, a Friday night light.

Yeah, the show gets bad for a little while. And you kind of have to trudge through it, but there's some maybe important plot points. Or you could probably even look up online what episodes you literally could skip. Really? But regardless, stay in it. because the finale he comes back and the finale is incredible. Then you have the movie Firewalk with me

and then Twin Peaks the return is you're doing it all for the return. So good. So I because you guys, and I'm thankful for this, have opened up a space where you're not judge you.

Like, you haven't said the Godfather? Yeah. You know, I went to a school where everybody loved David Lynch movies and I watched Blue Velvet. And there's a, there's a Simpsons clip of Homer watching Blue Velvet. And he's like, watching, watching. And then it just cuts to him being like, I have no idea what's going on. And that was, that's how I feel kind of like when I watched Blue Velvet. But then I also, I started

Twin Peaks. When I lived in Bushwick in like a hallway room, you know, it was like kind of a dark time in my life. And I found the first episode so devastating that I like, I get it. It's sad. It's so sad and it was so affecting. I like, I couldn't get through. I stopped and I was watching it alone. It feels like it would be more fun to watch it with Gideon. So I, as, you know, I was like going to ask you guys like, okay, I need everyone I know, everyone I love whose tastes I love. It has been mourning David Lynch all week.

And I was like, where should I start? I know I want to do Twin Peaks, but I'm glad that you gave that little primer hold it. Yeah, yeah. Just know what you're in for. like, you know, but season one is such a bangers, so you don't even have to think about it for a while, but just prepare yourself. Don't be like, yeah, it's just good to know like, oh, what, like, oh, they just like started, like, started sucking. Was this all a waste of time? It's like, no, it absolutely was not, but there's just a kind of a dip that happens. But it's not like a lost

thing where like, oh, they built up all these mysteries and then just like chat the bed. It's almost more like a neon judicious Savangelian thing where like, no, no, no, it. It goes... It goes... So good. But it just goes way out. And that's David Lynch in general. You got to take the ride, you know?

I think if you're trying to make sense of everything and you're trying to like, you know... That's what I think why Twin Peaks is so palatable for people because the Mark Frost side, because he did like Hill Street Blues and stuff before that and understood like how to make that kind of American television and then worked with David Lynch who knew how to make that kind of art film and they like together made what essentially was the precursor to all of prestige television in the modern era. Can we also go ahead and say that Kyle McLaughlin is a god damn national choice? I love him.

Yeah. Like I already like I love social media Kyle McLaughlin like obviously I've got a pulse and I am obsessed with him. But watching him like just this like man raw talent in Twin Peaks. is so fun to watch that you can just tell that David Lynch was like, hell yeah, bro, let's fucking vibe. And they did. And it's so fun to watch.

This is a rewatch for you. I'm assuming, Jackie. I have seen, this is what I was saying to Holden during talking TV is that like I was just a very big degenerate alcoholic. And so I don't remember any of it. And I've definitely gotten into the second season twice. I still don't remember any of it

And I remember that I had to give up the second season Because I was like, none of this makes any sense Doesn't make any sense But I was just a fucking idiot Like I just was like, don't like it, can't get it And I've grown since then Yeah, I don't know if you guys know this Right, grown a little bit

And so now I'm just thorough Now I'm at the end of the first season And I'm just like slurps, slurps. Yeah, yeah, Chaggy was like Laura Palmer, I put my palm on And it was just so, like, lame to be around her all the time. She's a corpse. So I don't know if I am doing that.

Well, they do that on the show, for sure, at points. Because it's pretty gnarly. You haven't watched Firewalk with me, have you? No. Work with me is a, it needs a trigger warning. Good to know. But it is very good. But it's just a lot going on in that movie.

And it is necessary. I think it is kind of necessary, too, if you're going to watch everything, you got to watch Firewalk with me. were I am trying to rewatch most David Lynch. Also, I didn't realize that for Elephant Man, did I include this article that I was talking about Elephant Man with David Lynch? That Mel Brooks was a producer on Elephant Man and he was a silent producer on it because he didn't want people to see his name on it and then laugh at it or people for people to assume that it was supposed to be funny. Yeah. when Mel Brooks was just supporting David Lynch,

which is really fucking cool. Another stand-up guy from a totally different corner of the media spectrum, entertainment spectrum. I just can't have enough love for those guys. And I think maybe Lynch passing at least was a little bit of a reminder that maybe we can work through a lot of this stuff through art and through, you know, escaping into other spaces that may seem like an escape at first, but then also somehow puts everything in perspective.

Oh, yeah. We got to make art through it. And also, we got a suck on soup through it. Yeah, that is the next article I'm going to. I got some, I got some pause about this. This is not even the quam that I think, it's not even that I think it's gross. I just think it defeats the purpose. You got a quorum with soup drops, everybody.

Procresso launches, soup drops, a hard candy. That's, quote, soup. You can. Suck on it. And they're like, Give it for the kids, MJ. But they're also like, for the sick person on the go,

when you've got a cold, you need that chicken noodle soup. You just blah, but isn't the heat of the soup such a large part of the like, no. Peeling factor. It's the liquid.

Yeah, it's the liquid and the heat. The vegetables, no. It's the fact that it's food. I bet this would actually be pretty tasty. Like, I wouldn't mind it. at all, you know, I think. Really? You would have a soup, soup.

Sure. Chicken noodle soup. I mean, what's offensive? Soup drop. Thank you. There's these things that my, that Gideon's cousins always put on the table at Passover called soup nuts. And I only see them at Passover and they are so fucking good. They're just like crunchy crackers for soup. But they're called soup nuts. But I cannot talk about it. Are they like oyster crackers? Kind of, yeah. I think they're kosher for Passover. Google soup nuts.

Oh, I'm Googling. soup nuts. You think I'm not Googling soup nuts? I only see them at Passover. Presumably, you can have them when it's not Passover. But they're fucking delicious. But I keep looking at these soup things and I'm like, I want to call them soup nuts, but they're soup drops. Soup drops. Thank for you. Soup for nuts. You must call them by their proper name. And I just, I think it's just get to suck in. It's like, oh, you puke in? Get to suckin. And if you ask your children,

If they thought about, you know, if you want, you can make your own. I feel like that should be your biggest quam holding is that you could just take soup and put it in the freezer and suck on it that way. You ain't got to buy your own soup drop. That's not what a hard candy is. But again, I just make the argument of all of this is the heat and the liquid. And, you know, really is such a big part of what makes that feel good when you have a stuff. You're breathing in that the heat and the steam, and it's clearing your nostrils out

and your snots just drip it all over your neck. Okay, I'm living it. All right. Don't do this to MJ. Don't do this to MJ. You can and duken, baby. Just pukin and just taking dumps, dude. It's not just...

Each drop has flavors of broth, chicken, vegetable, soft egg noodles, and a hint of parsley. I mean, nothing is offensive about chicken noodle soup. So, like, no, yeah. I'm not at all offended by the potential taste of this thing. I'm amazed that you're not offended,

honestly. I feel like I was not offended by the Velveeta Martini. I was like, this makes sense to me. And you guys were horrified. And here we are. Well, you know,

you know, these days, I'm not a part of the woke mob, MJ, so I'm not going to get offended about some fucking super amends this week. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's soup. It's candy form. It's soup. Eating. What are you?

You got it. You slur. I can't say to a microphone, but will say it's secret on the internet. Don't. No, you can go to Progressosoup drops.com to get your old. Except they're sold out. They're sold out. Of course.

What do you get us to do? These people are cheap and they buy anything and they do anything. I would have a suitor with a different flavor of soup than chicken noodle. I think. Yeah. Like a tomato soup. soup drop maybe. No, I wouldn't. Tomato soup lozange.

Again, what makes soup nice is the hotness. Yes, the heat. And the liquid. Also, it's the stuff inside of it. Like, I more, you know, I try not to bring up she who must not be named, but you know, I love a stoop more than I love a soup. I don't want so much of ball. You can't name Rachel

Ray. And I, there's a lot of people who can't be named right now. Okay. Rachel Ray is not. She's mine this week, okay, for absolutely no new reason. Just because she's a fun, brassy lady. There's room for two fun brassy ladies around here, Jackie. You got to let go with this. You got to go with this Rachel Ray. But you do.

I was getting enraged by reading an article that was talking about her. She was just like, I love my husband. And I was like, fuck off, even though, like, that's my thing. And I shouldn't be angry of the fact that she loves her husband. But it was pissing me off, MJ. You know what, MJ a lot's been pissing me off this week, you know? For some reason, I feel like all of us are just like kind of in tatters and we're just like shaking in the wind. Like we're just the strips of one of those air persons that is just put up by a fan.

The car wash thing. You know what I mean. The gas station people. You know what I mean. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. I just think that it's not her fault that she taught us all how to make meals in 30 minutes. I know. It's not her fault.

I will say I was angry about something else that's really not my story to tell, but we do talk about celebrity gossip and I feel we would be remiss to not bring up the fact that there was a pox put upon my house from a one Saturday night live and I don't appreciate it. I don't like it and I am angry about it. We screamed about this on Jack and I will say, if you would have a lot of this, like the full story from my brother. Go check out this week's episode of side stories. I know that he talks a lot about it.

Yeah. And so you probably don't want from the horse's mouth over here, but nay, I've got something to say. And I was, man, I tell you what, MJ, poor Holden's ears, I was screaming on Friday. I was, I'm sister loyalty. Lindsay shook us. My loyalty. Lindsay shook us.

My loyalty. You fucking. Snake. Never go against the family. Never go against the family. And for those of you that did not hang out with us on Jack and on Friday, you totally fucking should come hang out with us on Fridays. But what was I screaming about?

So there was an S&L 50th anniversary documentary, docu-series, one of them that was put out, right? And they're stuck in their own mid-dick, right? And a person on there was talking about different auditions. and they brought up and named my brother, my brother who got very close to getting on SNL, got all the way to the stage of SNL, which is huge. Yeah, made it to the final audition.

Made it to the very final audition for SNL. The final audition. This woman that made fun of him was also the woman that knew what he was doing and was supposed to be helping him and everyone knew what he was doing in that audition. You don't get that far without them knowing what you're doing in that audition.

On top of that, they're also not allowed to laugh during the audition. Right. You noticed that it wasn't people, and they were making fun of his audition for being like, and nobody laughed at it because he comes out, which I will say, very vulnerably, he comes out naked, holding his junk in both of his hands,

and does a very funny monologue. This is from a murder fist sketch. And they just use it as a clip to make fun of him in the documentary. And I, oh, baby. I try not, you know, I think that you guys could tell I'm a bit of a, ooh, a fireball. When it comes to someone coming after my family or someone coming after my friends and oh, oh, I flipped out. I got really, really angry.

I did not, and I will say, I did not go after this. I did not even send her a message, but I want everyone to know I glared angrily at her picture. Oh, yeah, this person sucks so bad. You know, and S&L in general with this situation, I don't know who was involved in this, but I hate bully shit, and this felt like such unnecessary bully shit.

And it pisses me off because it's like, you don't have enough, interesting other auditions to talk about that you need to put Henry's in this fucking dumbass documentary about your legacy? Like, what the fuck? Like, why? Apparently, you're still thinking about him. So.

Such a weird. And also, it makes it sound like he just went off into oblivion and didn't have a career afterwards, which is clearly not true. Yeah. But on top of that, what if he did go off into oblivion after this? And this was like a really sad, you know, thing for him in his life.

And he was kind of just living a. life somewhere at peace with a different situation going on and didn't have all the success. It would almost be even worse. Yeah. But it's like so unnecessary, especially at a time right now. I'm so sick of bullies. I'm so sick of what, you know, what's going on, you know, everywhere right now. Yeah, well, there's kind of one that's running our country, the oligarchy of bullies that now runs our fucking country.

And it's awesome. So this is not like a funny, because I did see people tweeting about this and posting about it. And I was like, is this something that's kind of fun, funny for Henry? Yeah. I will say, but I want to commend my brother. Yeah, he's very cool about it. My brother, he is taking this so, like, he took it. So I was, like, impressed by him just being like, oh, you know, they're just going to, you know, be like that or whatever.

And I was like, how are you not breaking? Yeah. Like, I flipped out. I would have considered a lawsuit against Lindsay Shookus because at the end of the day, you know, I'm sure he signed over his bullshit for S&L to use it. However, but Lindsay Shookus is a liar. You're a liar, Lindsay. You completely fucking lied. You knew exactly what he was going to do.

There was a robe preset for him to get into. Everybody knew what was going to happen except for maybe Lorne Michaels, and that was the deal. And she tries to say that it was like, he just came out naked. He just went rogue. He just like Pope ripped on his audition and, you know, whatever, like, as if it wasn't completely supported. Gotcha. You know what I mean? And just, that is really cruel.

She says three minutes in, he came out from the wall and he was completely naked. It was such a shock. and I'm not even sure. I have no idea what he did at that point, the naked guy, but he was the naked guy. He didn't get hired, but not because he got naked. Yeah, that's so, that is so cruel. It's so needlessly cruel and shitty.

And so just, you know, so Lindsay Shookas, I'm talking to you right now, go fuck yourself. You're a shitty fucking human being. And, you know, I love how on her Instagram, Shooka Shookas, by the way, she sort of like tries to come off all like, I'm this like beacon of positivity and wonderfulness and everything. And it's just like, you're a fucking bully. You're a bully and you need to apologize.

And that's how I fucking feel about it. I think it was completely, totally ridiculously unnecessarily mean to somebody that has nothing to do with the show. Didn't get asked permission, by the way. It doesn't clearly isn't going to get any, you know, monetary compensation for being a part of an S&L 50th anniversary television series. go fuck yourself. And there's nothing kind of like It sounds like it's just a pot shot. It's not because I haven't seen it.

It's just a pot shot. You know what? And it did fucking suck when you didn't get that. So it just adds like insult to injury to be like, you know, I had a dream I thought was going to come true and then it didn't. And then had to work through that for a long period of time. And then to have this come back in a decade plus later. Misrepresented.

in a like pointed laugh way. Completely like making it look like he's just this crazy person. I mean if anybody has actually been the most like together professional you know good to everybody on the set. Extrant would never pull some bullshit like that

and come out like gone rogue and come out like he, you know what he mean? I mean it's just I just I'm but but this is the world we live in. You can just go on a TV show and just be like up is down left is right and that's the way it is and nobody else can do anything

about it because you just said it and even if Henry does go, yeah that was bullshit, only half the people will believe him because people don't have any fucking media literacy to understand that you can just go say something and it not be true, you know? It's what I was hoping

that was going to be the case when I found out that Snoop Dog was going to be performing at the inauguration ball. Oh God. Because it's like, here's the thing. Carrie Underwood, all right, fine. I guess like I, I, I, I, but that's not a loss for us. It's not a loss for it.

Like, I know for some people it was. Apparently people had good feelings about her. I mean, don't get me wrong. I will listen to some OG carry underwear, or at least I would have been not anymore. And it's just really, there's just so much that is upsetting and disappointing about so many things that are happening right now that it's just like, throw it on the pile.

I'm just fucking throw it on the pile. When I saw that shot of Snoop Dog, because I wasn't following the inauguration because of the aforementioned virus sandwich. And I saw that shot of Snoop Dog and I was like, my heart sank. Like, I really, really, really couldn't believe it. Like, I'm fucking devastated. What, with Snoop? Yeah. Yeah.

Now he's gone. Now he's gone. He's done. Here's something you need to. No, forget it. According to me. I don't know if you have this information or not, but he

talked so much shit about Trump in like 2016 and whatever and like since then. And then Trump pardoned like his boy and got him out of prison. He pardoned like a close friend of his. Yeah, I didn't know that. And he got his ass.

You know, like... I'm just saying, I'm not saying it relieves of meeting. Yeah, yeah, no, of course. Like literally he hated Trump. I mean, and also he's just become financially more in line with, you know, those people than the rest of us, a fest of us for the rest of us. But regardless of all of that, he also just, his boy, his, his, like, dear friend apparently got, got out of jail because of Trump's pardon. So, yeah, it just, it was one of that.

I wouldn't even be surprised with Trump was like, you just, you have to play at my inauguration if I'm going to get this guy. You know what I mean? You have to, like, do something for me sometime in the future. Also, it's so bad. We've learned a lot this week as well. And I just want to say thank you for those of you that reach out that we also are no longer standing Paris Hilton here on the show. Yes. That is also gone the way of the dodo. And goodbye,

and goodbye Snoop. Yep. And if you were wondering, I just want to say that I always assumed that like as someone that has grown a lot and has changed and has apologized and has gone through a lot of, work in my life. I guess I assumed Paris Hilton had as well and not just denied all the things that there are receipts for the things that she has said. And just rather than being like, I've grown, I was so fucking wrong, did none of that and is actually just pretending like none of it happened. And that's not okay. Yeah. And so, all right, we're just ripping them off. Who's next? Who else are we ripping off? What God took her house.

okay. Karma God took her house. Carmar should have known better. Should have known better. Should have known better. Yes. And we also got a really thoughtful email that I wanted to shout out to in terms of the somebody was like, maybe it was a Patreon comment. I don't remember, but somebody was like, I appreciate and agree with what you guys are saying about like not having, you know, like, not like kind of like pointing and laughing at celebrities for losing their houses. But this person was like, I recently went through like catastrophic disaster. from flooding, I think, in North Carolina.

And they were like just the empathy of coverage of how something gets covered when it's somebody like Paris Hilton and the kind of the gap in terms of the resources and the care and how you see it and how people can identify with like in L.A. as opposed to what happened in North Carolina is is so, so different. And that contrast is so stark. And that was a really great point. That it's not that. But I will still sing along to stars are blind if it comes on. And no one can take that for me. And I'm sorry, okay?

But I'm just a man. All right. Assist at fucking. It's not your month. It's actually soup month right now, Holden. So take your man's month and take it somewhere else because we're over here sucking on some soup. And you can't make me stop. My chat did unanimously agree that in 2025 every month is man's month it looks like.

Oh, gosh. That's in chat. Women's history month is canceled. It's probably one of the executive orders that came out already. I'm sure. The existence of trans people. All right. I'm ready for it. Let me with you share.

Do you believe it? Yes, suck on that. I'll suck on my soup and I'll like it. What if we do a kind of like meditation grounding exercise where every time we see one of the new executive orders, we just say to ourselves, soup you can suck on. Soup you can suck on, man. Yeah, yeah. And then I remove a rib and I'm, and I'm, every time. I just start going, oh, oh, oh, that ain't so.

All right, this one comes, oh, by the way, buried the lead, did Tay lip sync all of her era shows? Oh, my God. Thaddy page seven peeps. And, yeah, side note, I get, this is going to go get all my taters riled up. That's what I call now, my tay haters. It's going to get all my taters up, up riled and riveted. But, you know what I mean?

Oh, tater. All my Tater's. I like tators. I like tators. We got tators. Yeah, yeah, and kids who hate Taylor are called Tater Tots. Oh, that's cute. Yeah, that's cute.

And they're organizing a softball team where they listen to, you know, baby metal and fucking get, just get high. They don't even, they experiment with drugs and won't play the game. Hell yeah. Matt says, how do you pay seven peeps? I have a doozy of a conspiracy. Did Taylor Swift lip sync the entirety of her heirs tour? Probably not. Go fuck yourself.

That's not what they say. I come to you as a benevolent non-swifty, who will, but who will happily listen to her hits. I also have no issue with artists who lip sync for the sake of the entire show, but not if they lie about it. This channel, Wings of Pegasus, all my taters out there, if you're curious, go to Wings of Pegasus to hate watch some good YouTubein. It's from a guitarist and audio engineer who seems to just post fun music videos where he talks about music production and concerts, etc. Dude's manner is nice and chill, British, and most importantly factual. Nearly a couple of weeks ago, he posted this video where he analyzed the audio from the era special on Disney Plus as well as multiple fan recordings from various concerts and found that even with the ambient arena audio, the audience singing along, the main sound of the music and vocals lined up so well it was past the point of human error. He does it with many points during the show, all leading him to the conclusion that the entire show is indeed mined.

Of course, he then gets a wall of Swifties defending her and trying to debunk him rightly. so, Matt, you fucking soon to be wanted, man. Don't threaten. He goes on to make three more videos where he repeats the process for more of the shows and even analyzes Michael Jackson singing into the studio showing how the software detects time and pitch variances that most people can't even detect by ear,

but are noticed by the software. Simply put, all the music at her shows lines up far too perfectly. Wow, I wonder if it's because she's the perfect woman. Wow. Maybe that's a factor. Anyways, in his recent video, it shows how the band might be playing, but the music is also just a backing track. So when she's had an incident with her mic back,

it was more about her rushing because the vocals were going to play regardless, and a hard stop to the entire music would be a giveaway. I watched these whilst working and found it interesting. Well, I find you interesting, and I'm going to start looking into you, Matt, a little bit. So we'll get to that later. As someone who's a fan of Adele and Casey Muthgraves, mid compared, but okay. Who we've seen stop and start songs over.

Don't say things you don't mean just because you're upset. Hold up. Change lyrics or say hi to people mid-song. I can't seem to find a single airs video where something prompts her to tell the band to stop and start a song over because she's amazing at her job. She doesn't need to do that dumb shit. So what do you think? I know this one involves watching the videos, but I got to say it's compelling and

I believe. Again, not a hater. Jury's out on that, Matt. I think she's a good singer and a fantastic strong. and performer. Correct, Matt. I just think hoodwinking people into making them think they're paying for a live show. It's not the best despite the whole production aspect.

Tay, I'm gonna, Matt. Ooh, I want to threaten you so bad into a microphone right now, but I can't because of law people and how dumb and mean they are. I'm sure that'll change fairly soon. So, yeah, I just hold on a couple of weeks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Tay, if you're going to mime, you at least got

to dance like Brittany. Un-bel-Lat. Whoa. I swear to God. I'm going. I'm just going. I'm just going to say the word slicing.

I love this, Matt. Subject. I'm going to get you figuratively. That is, that's, that is a threat holder. Love you all.

Matt. We love you, Matt. We love you, Matt. We love you, Matt. Thank you for taking that risk. That was bold and vulnerable of you. I love you so much, Matt. I want to hang out with you.

So if you could hit me up and we can meet all. Don't respond. I've got to. My favorite place. staying out is a abandoned parking lot. Do it, Matt. And there's a really good one I know about. And I would come without a shirt or shoes.

No, that's his slicing lot, Matt. That's where he goes to slice. You can't go there, Matt. Okay, please. I'm a little hung up on the distinction between miming and lip syncing. So, so because that the... Well, no, but she does trap herself in a box

and that one saw and Betty, I think it is. I guess I'm trying to parse what's like, because usually if you, accuse somebody of not singing at a live concert, you'd say they were lip syncing, but by the choice of saying they were miming, is it suggesting... Might just be because she plays guitar at points in her show. A bit of a pantomime and piano. So maybe that's...

It's just a pantomime. There's not even... Yeah, yeah, totally. Well, okay, I'm not, Matt, so don't come slice me. But I do think that doing a live show for a year and a half, never having a moment where you ever have to stop the song or like talk or chat or go off of what the exact song is. That's crazy.

It would honestly, I think we'd actually be. Oh, Zoom protected us because we didn't hear the sound that hold and make. I would say it would probably be more difficult to do all of it lip syncing, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think it would actually, yeah, good point. So you're saying that maybe she did lip sync. It sounds like, no, no, no, I'm just saying it would be. be harder to do it than just to do it

so she might as well do it for real, whatever. You're all drinking the soup drop right now. You know what I mean? You're all being dumb about it. You're being defensive. I don't even know what you're talking about. I'm not being defensive. You're being stupid and you're dumb.

Holden. Jackie, what are your thoughts? I think it's... Jackie, I 100% agree with Matt. Me and Matt, man, we're going to be skipping. We're going to be ripping apart every friendship bracelet. we see, oh man, Matt and I are going to be like, uh, take a back phone away and it'll sound the same.

And then we're going to be the ones with the tinfoil hats out front of any other, like, I don't know, redo of eras that she's going to do or whatever she's going to do next. And we're going to be there spreading the truth. She won't pantomime her way back into my heart. But that suck. That was so, like, three years ago. Holden. Just saying, I just want you to know.

Well, go suck on some soup. Soup suck-up. I just thought you should know about that. Do you agree, MJ? I believe. Yep. Sorry, Holden. It was nice knowing yet.

All right. Well, this is over. Our friendship is over, but you've been a great friend. It was nice while it lasted. Everyone's, yeah. You know what, it's fine. But I love mime is the thing. Yeah, you do.

I was a mime in high school. Of course. I think I may have won an award for miming. How do you not? Okay. Oh, I'm sorry. Do you remember all the high school theater awards that you won? No, I won too many.

I think if I won an award for miming, I would remember if I won that award. I did a lot of miming, okay? I was in a group called Mime and Comedy Works. It was an improv and Mime Group. I said, okay, I'm not sure if this has come up before. I love all the juries out. It's like, oh, I might have won it. I may have been so, it's either, I was so good at Miving, I won an award.

I was actually completely talked shit and did not win an award. I may be an award winning one. I'm not sure. And I'm actually... I bet you are. I'm hesitating. I have a text chain with my high school friends. I could ask them, but will I sound annoying if I text them and say,

does anyone remember if I won an award for miming? Yeah. Because one of them is like the informal historian of our high school years and she might know. But that I'll be the weirdo, you know? So I'm just going to have to put it out there. I may or may not be an award-winning mime. I love this. Oh, you're just such a, ooh, a person of mystery now.

Yeah, you think the puppets is interesting? Mime. Mimes. Years of it. Possible award winning a mime artist, M.J. Neffel, that we've got on our show. Yeah. Yeah, you can't see how good I'm miming right now. Oh, my God.

But you can trust that it's happening. Well, that's good because, I mean, we're not at blind items yet, so we can't even not see anything because first we have to see the list. Stigney me! Oh! Who's on the list? Jack K. Got to have that list. Warren Beatty thought he was being offered a teenager role at the age of 60

and 12 other wild reasons actors declined parts. Now, we have said this one before, but the rest of them, I think that I don't know if I've really heard. After Steve Carell left the office, James Gandalfini was asked to play the new Dundler-Mifflin boss. However, HBO reportedly paid him $3 million to not take the role. And man, if there is a reason to decline a role, it's that, everybody. Give me $3 million not to. I love, because at first I was going to be like, you know, nothing against the office, but I was going to be like, thank God just because that would be weird.

But now I'm like, actually, that probably would have been really fun to have James Gandalfini on the office. I feel like James Gandalfini would have killed it. And I really would have loved to have seen whatever the hell he was going to do with it. That would an amazing. This one is probably. probably for the best that we didn't get, Prince declined to play mini-max in Michael Jackson's bad music video because, quote, the first line of that song is, your butt is mine. In a resurfaced interview, Prince told Chris Rock, now I'm saying, who's going to sing that to whom? Because you sure

ain't singing it to me and I sure ain't singing it to you. So right there, we got a problem. Because I don't know if you guys remember this, because Prince and Michael Jackson, especially Prince hated Michael Jackson. So of course he wasn't going to be saying anything like that and he wouldn't even take the role but don't worry, Wesley Snipes played the role instead.

We're learning here, everybody. In 2023, Liam Neeson told the times that in the early 90s, he was very interested in playing James Bond. But his then-girlfriend Natasha Richardson, oh, R-I-P, told him that if he accepted the role, they wouldn't get married.

So he chose her over the franchise. Whoa. Cool. That is asking a lot because I feel like that's a lot of money to say no to because you don't, I'm assuming. And of course, we're never going to know posthumously. All right. But she does say she was concerned about the gorgeous girls in various countries getting in and out of Bonn's bed.

And I feel like, girl, like that's what you're worried about? Yeah, I'm sorry to speak ill of Natasha Richardson, but that's an annoying thing to do. You can't be Bond because I'm jealous. Because I'm jealous. Because I'm jealous. Because the role went to Pierce Brosnan and he was Bond for like a minute, dude. He was. He would have made, like, like, all of it, like Liam Neeson's whole career, I imagine, would have been very different if it went that way.

Yeah. And, man, I would have watched. the hell out of that. Also, Irish bond would be really funny. Yeah. Yeah. That's a different type of bond. Different type of bond. Now, speaking of Pierce Brosnan, Pierce Brosnan met with Tim Burton about playing the titular role in Batman of 1989. But he just couldn't really take it seriously because any man who wears his underpants outside his pants just cannot be taken seriously. And I do love it. Because I would want to slap Pierce Brosden for saying this. But apparently in a 2014 Reddit AMA, he said, that was my foolish take on it.

It was a joke, I thought. But how wrong was I? Don't get me wrong because I love Batman and I grew up on Batman. As a kid in Ireland, we used to get our raincoats and tie them around our neck and swing through the bicycle shed. But you still didn't want to be him. Wait, Pierce Prasden is also Irish? Or was he a British person growing up in Ireland? Oh, maybe.

I'm going to have to do some research. on this. Now you have to do some research. You have to find this out for us, MJ, while I move on to the next portion of the list. Writer director, Paul Thomas Anderson, asked Warren Beatty to play Jack Horner in Boogie Knights. But Paul realized a couple weeks into it, there was a bit of confusion that he thought that Paul was asking him to play Dirk Diggler. In 2018, Paul told Jimmy Kim alive, I sort of realized, but you know you're 60. He's like, no, I know, but I think I could do it. I love that he really was like, I got this.

I got this. Pierce Brasian is an Irish Catholic. Irish guy. I had no idea. Oh, learning something new. So I guess we did have an Irish bond. He was forced to do it exactly the way the people that run everything about him made him do. Right, MJ?

Look at me. Man, I got egg on my face. That's okay. We're learning. We're here. We're learning. We're growing. Did you know that Russell Crow turned down the role of Wolverine and X-Men? Because of a specific similarity he thought it had to his gladiator role. In 2017, he said, if you remember, Maximus has a wolf at the center of his carass. And he has a wolf as his companion, which I thought was going to be a bigger deal at the time. So I said no, because I didn't want to be wolfy like Mr. Wolf. I need you to know. I've seen the movie Gladiator 100,000 times because I was obsessed with it. I forgot that there was a whole wolf thing and I've seen it a bunch of times.

So Russell Crow, that's a really dumb reason to not take a role. That is so funny. Also a wolf and a wolverine are two different animals. Two different animals, you idiot. I mean, I just think that comes down to a, like, total disrespect of like the superhero The Zuru genre was not cool for a very long time to be a part of it or not like a reputable thing.

Yeah. So I think both of those allegories were in that vein, you know. And last but not least, despite being offered, quote, so much money to play Han Solo, Al Pacino turned down Star Wars episode four, a new hope, because when he read the script, he didn't understand it. So he just said, I can't do it. And then he said, I gave Harrison Ford a career. Same thing, old. And it's like, like, no one thought Star Wars was going to be like a prestige.

Yeah, yeah. Beloved franchise, right? Totally. I mean, how would they? And I guess would have been interesting to see what Al Pacino would have done with Han Solo, just him screaming through space. But I guess we're not going to see it in our lifetime, or will we? maybe Al Pacino, old solo. I think that maybe it's like Han community

because he lives in an elderly home now and then he's not working by himself anymore. I think it would work, actually, because I feel like Harrison's Ford made Han Solo such a like annoying blowhard, you know, that I think that Al Pacino could have done it. He could have done it. And that's my list for you guys.

Wow. Yeah. I can't believe Pierce Brosnan is Irish. Am I wrong or does he only exclusively speak in a British accent? Yeah, I definitely would not have guessed. I definitely would have thought very British, extremely British. But, you know, some people talk in a Spanish accent because they want to be from Spain, you know? I mean, it's, you know.

Well, I don't know if that's what he was doing. I think he was pulling a hilarious, I would say. I don't think he was pulling a hilaria here. He was a bit of a hell lady. But before we continue to talk about how we know that he was doing a hilaria, I'm losing a little bit of sight here, guys. I think I'm going. Blind.

Items. Oh, we can't see him. This foreign-born actor and singer are done. He has moved on. She has moved on. No need for any more promo work. And honestly, he was going to bring down her career with his issues. Whoa, Ethan Slater, Ari Nana.

Nah, bra. No? No. No. No. She's a singer that we're really into lately. And she speaks about the truth of, like, love. and everything like that.

And he's like a sexy man. And he's big and he's gruff and he's an actor. But it's not Sabrina Carpenter and Salt Lick, man. Okay, it's not them because they're not together anymore. No. No, we're not so. I've seen the young boy that she's dating and they look very cute though. I will say.

Yeah, I don't know if he's, yeah. Well, he was in a big summer movie this year that Jackie definitely saw in the theater. He was the star of it. Shark face. Glenn Powell. There you go. I was supposed to be like, who's he in a relationship? We actually literally just talked about the movie that he was in the franchise of that was out this summer.

He was the lead of that. And she's a singer and she plays guitar. She's very pretty. And she sings about love in a way that's like, oh. Is it Gracie Abrams? Yes. Oh, and Paul Maskell. Yes.

The link to the article about how the two were spotted at a popular North London restaurant having a dramatic. scene. A witness claimed they were sat at a table opposite each other and Paul had his head at his hands. Gracie just sat there crying. She's crying so much. I love you. I'm sorry. She was crying so much that then he started to

cry too. She eventually got up and walked out of the restaurant while they were halfway through their meal and he was left to pay the bill before leaving shortly afterwards. Everyone saw it all go down. It looked like a breakup. We were just shocked at how public it all was. Wow. Like a Gracie Abrams song.

Like a Gracie Abrams song. So she's gonna be like, we're in the restaurant and you was cried, I was crying and you were crying too. Like, we're about to get that song. It's gonna be so good. Crying in a restaurant. It was Paul Mascow and then you walked away. I'm sorry that we're crying in a restaurant. And I will slurp it up like a hard soup over here.

Oh my God, yeah, absolutely. So yummy in the tummy. How hard is your suit? Love a dramatic scene. You don't like to believe how dramatic. scene was at the restaurant, North London. It's got to be nuts. That's insane.

I love you, I'm sorry. Anyone that has a song called I love you, I'm sorry. You know, you know they have dramatic breakups. Absolutely. The North of the Border singer is going to take the one name permanent A-list singer down. This is going to be brutal. He, one older, one younger, they both are known for their dancing.

He is dress is dumb. One older, one younger. They both dance. Well, now the younger one's older, but they were, was more of a mentor mentee. And the older one's younger. The doctor is a woman.

That's the riddle's answer. Oh, how dare. He's my son. Okay. My sister, my mother. Yeah, one's his sister and his mother. He is, Okay, they dance.

Oh, they're always dancing. And J likes one of them in a way. Whoa, what do you mean in a way? He was like a young, he got famous young. He got famous young. He's older now. He's older now. He used to be young and he's older now.

We need more than this. He's not dead. He's alive. He's alive. He's not dead. He's alive. Remember that used to be young. The other one also for his dancing.

The other one's name is a job at a theater. Wait, okay, stop. Popcorn maker. No. A Shemite Popcorn maker. Usher would be a really good answer. And Timothy Popcorn Maker was a fucking dog shit answer. Who was the other?

By the way, a job at a theater. and you just go straight to the guy that makes popcorn, which isn't even normally at a theater. That's at a movie theater. There's not like just a popcorn. And by the way, there's not even a popcorn maker. Isn't even a job.

Yeah, it is. Yeah, the person that makes the popcorn. What are you going to call the person that makes the popcorn maker? Yes. So it's Usher. And who is like a protege of Usher. Beaver.

Yes. Beber is no longer following Usher on the Insta. Oh my God, but what did you think about his penis in the wet underpants? Oh, yeah, we didn't talk about his wet underpants penis. You didn't talk about the penis. I would look like a penis in his wet underpants. Yeah, that's really weird. Oh, my God, I can see his penis in his wet white underpants.

And I was like, yeah, you obviously get his penis in the wet white underpants. That's what would happen. That's the whole story, by the way, what that article was. He did look good in that picture, though. Like, it was a very, like, what's his name? It was very like the bear or that fucking guy. It was like. Jeremy Allen White.

Yeah. Yeah, it was flattering. It was like, look at my big white underpants. Yeah. So what do you guys think? Do you think Atroma lasted the beaves or why? Well, I don't know if that's what it means. But I do think it would make sense if they didn't like each other anymore.

Right. Yeah. But he's going to take him down, dude. Yeah. It was this weird thing back then in 2009 where it was like, or 2010, I think it was 2009 and everyone was like, look at this, like, fun friendship between this adult man and this child. Right. And I don't.

I'm glad that we, I mean, of course, people need mentors. Young people need mentors and teachers and, like, people of all ages in their life. But, like, it is weird that they were just like, this little boy parties with Usher all the time. I mean, there's just, Bieber's got some fucking stories to tell. Yeah, he was in places he should not. Bad things happened to him. There is no question about it. Bizar, bizarre spaces.

But we don't want to get too dark. Let's move on. And I don't want to slurp on him, by the way, Jackie. And your email, you accused me of wanting to look at Bieber's cock. I've just always thought that he deserves our respect. And then it's not his fault. Did you look? You look.

You look to the wet on the fence. You are bright red. You are looking at it. Let me get it. Let me at it. You over there. A little lucky now. I'll tell you what.

If you want to look at it again real quick for the end of the episode, you are more than welcome to. You're allowed to. You're allowed to. Very fine. No, I have just been like, I think that child star needs our help. Right. Oh,

under the guy, yeah, yeah, and I'm a feminist. Mm. Mm. You know what, go suck on some soup. Yeah,

you tell him, MJ. Last but not least, this married former comic actress turned host is about to be exposed by one of her side pieces that she's cheating.

Whoa. She fled. She left and she's annoying. And, Nobody likes her and she sucks. Chelsea Handler? No, she has one word.

That's one word in her name. Damn her. No, but she's not one word, but we know her by one way. If you said the one word, you would be like, that's the one, that person. Oh, he's a host. She also at one point was young, not known for it, though. She got famous older, but now she is older.

Oprah. Close. Not talk show hosts that no one likes. She likes, though, Jackie. Everybody likes O'Donnell. I don't know. Everyone has been, there's been quite. She laughed.

A lot of people have interesting things to say about Oprah. Ellen. Ellen. I mean, yeah. I'm sorry I said Chelsea Handler. I don't think everyone hates Chelsea Handler. Again, I think, yeah, Oprah's got some skeletonies in the closet tini. And she's about a shit alini in the jungalini for sure, dude.

Ellen, she recently was. She might get exposed by one of her side pieces. So I guess that's a cheating on. What's her stupid? Porsche de Rossi. Yeah, Portia. She was recently spotted, by the way, in Montecito, California,

literally months after abandoning the country to live in England after Trump's election win. She was visiting the luxurious Casatorida retirement community. Very luxurious, by the way. This is where Julia Childs went to die. Very fancy place.

But apparently it was maybe to visit her mother-in-law that they were speculating might be living there now. And she looks, real grumpy in the pictures. You can just assume she is totally a bitch, just based on. But I mean, it's paparazzi, everything like that,

but she just looks like her, like her head's going to pop off of her neck and start chasing you. Like it's like some kind of Junji Ito short story or something. I mean, kind of fun. Yeah, I would absolutely say so myself. So there you go. Those are my blinds I can see again.

You guys look great. Never look better, except for Jackie and MJ because they're kind of annoying now or whatever because of the Taylor thing. So I guess nobody looks good and I look good. I'm just trying to find this picture of Ellen. I found it. I want to see how upset she is.

I'm going to put it in. She does look grumpy, but Holden's right. She does look grumpy. Anybody could look grumpy. It's really not her fault, but it's just, she's just squinting in the sun. But she does look grumpy. If you hate her, you can be like this, bitch.

Oh, yeah. She does look grumpy. Yeah, thank you for sharing. Thank you very much. Us Weekly, everybody. Yeah. She's grumpy. Yeah, she is.

But, you know, stay out of here, I guess. At this point, you just get out of here. I thought you were already gone. Yeah. But I guess you have to come back to visit people every once in a while. And thank you guys for coming back to visit us with your ears today. We really appreciate it. And we love, love, love talking to each other, everybody.

Man, we're going to get through all of this. and we'll get through it together. And we're just going to take it minute by minute, day by day. We're just going to get through it. All right, guys. You got it. I love you. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You could follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. Don't worry. I lost a lot of followers because I think a lot of people are leaving meta and I completely understand. But you can also come hang out with us over on Twitch.tv. forward slash oh no, it's Jackie on Wednesday's We sim. And MJ and I have Oh baby, lots of woohooing to do. Lots of like homes to build still, but don't worry. We'll get to that at some point.

And I come check out my new show, Who's the Bitch with Kara Clank? Comes out every Wednesday and it's on the last podcast network. Holden. Hey, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. It's Holden. Yeah. Twitch.tv. forward slash hold naters ho. Check us out on Friday's jacket with a holdee, 6 p.m. EST.

Check Patreon out. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. We have weekly bonus episodes of the $5 layer. The $10 layer. It's the Bucky Barnes watch along. You ever wondered what Caps? Bucky Barnes.

Sidekick was like. You can watch that there. No, Buffy the Vampires Lair. We just finished season three coming out very soon on the Patreon. So that's three full seasons. Watch long you can catch up to it if you're not on there yet. Page 7 podcast at gmail.com.

Send me those conspiracy theories if you're nasty, but I swear to God, Matt. If you send another fucking besmirchment of Taylor Swift in those emails, I'm going to I'm going to take a big metal pipe. No, Matt. No, Matt, you're good. We appreciate you, Matt. All right. But anyways, MJ.

My name's MJ, and as of now I am still on Instagram and I'm MJKLK. Can't for now. For now. Relieve us. Release us. All right. We'll make it through, guys. We'll see you next week.

See you next week. Bye, everybody. Bye, everyone. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.