Page 7 - Ep. 568: The Tortured Taylors Department

Episode Date: February 7, 2025

This week on Page 7 IT'S TIME TO GOSS' 'BOUT THE GRAMMY'S!! including Jackie (finally) having her Taywakening even if the only thing TSwift won that night was Jackie's 'fitproval, Beyoncé won Best Country album much to her own surprise, Brother Eilish is setting a boundary everyone hopes more celebs will vocalize COUGHTAYLORCOUGH, quick breakdown on the difference between Record of the Year v. Song of the Year and MJ's calling for Tarif's on Drake.  Doechii came, Doechii saw, Doechii conquered, shout outs to Chappell and Gaga for using their time to make speech's regarding specific issues during the glaring silence of other attendees and in the wake of the heavy handed speeches of 2017, Jaden Smith wore a literal house on their head solidifying the Smith siblings as 'fitspiration goals for the Zebrowski's. Holden is calling for Bianca and Kanye to be arrested and we're ALL still waiting for that solo Bianca Censori interview to disprove the morse code eye blinks rumor, and finally in one of the most eye rolling turns Kanye claims he was trying to recreate his 2024 Vulture album cover IRL, but they still didn't get escorted out like rumors and the once again POOCRAVED MJ claimed! In other celebrity news, the court date is finally set in the Blake Lively v. Justin Baldoni case and it's not until NEXT YEAR!! But, lucky for everyone Baldoni made a custom website to release every.single.piece.of.evidence in the case like any completely normal and rational person would do, and this brought up the old controversy of Blake Lively BURPIN' n' FARTIN' DURING BREAKS ON THE SET OF GOSSIP GIRL!??! And in Celebrity Conspiracy Corner: the Ariana x Jim Carrey plot T H I C K E N I N G??!!???, a list of Celebrity Facts That Sound Like Gossip But Are SHOCKINGLY TRUUUUUEEE!!!! (and we do mean SHOCKINGLY), BLINDZ, SHOUTZ AND MOOOORE!!!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Okay, so the album didn't win any Grammys. I'm not upset about it, but I will say something that was low-key, one of the sexiest parts of the Grammys that I am going to talk about, is, what if is written mine on my upper thigh, only in my mind? What's it been falling back into the hedge maze? Oh, what a way to die! I know not everybody loved my Taylor's tortured department. And I know that's not the name of it, but it's what I keep calling it to myself.

Taylor's torture department. But you know what? I was trying to explain. I was like, I had just gotten out of shower with my husband. And we were talking about the Grammys. And I was talking about how I was like, I never ever find Taylor Swift sexy at all. She is not my thing whatsoever. And we talk about this on page seven.

But what I did find very, very hot was a reference to her own song. And at the Grammys, she wore that very cool, like, short cut, high cut dress. I think that's one of her hottest looks, yeah. It was, I really, I was like, she looks great. And I did feel like an auntie that I was like, wow, looking very good, this young woman. but then on her upper thigh were these like, I guess there are things such as thigh jewelry now. I know nothing. I live in a la la land of new things.

And she had these like thigh belly chains around her upper thigh with just a little tea on top of it. And she was referencing her own song, which yeah, maybe some people might roll their eyes at. And I didn't even have my glasses on and I could see my husband roll his eyes into next week when I, I tried to explain this to him, but I think it's sexy. Okay. Let's sing a song everybody knows to bring him back in. Flintstones, meet the Flintstones. They're a modern stone age family.

Come on, everybody. You know this. I only know the Simpsons version. From the town of Bedrock. He's about to hit a chestnut tree. When Homer is singing it to himself. It's much better. It's much better that way.

That's so funny. It's just like a baby driver. why the Flintstones Holden? I just think about it. It's just for everyone to, you know what I mean? Because then they get upset about the woman being mentioned and all that. And I just, I think it's different that, like, I'm not saying I want to, like, drain her blood and smear it in my holes. Jesus.

Well, Holzen hasn't ever actually said anything that weird. What you're thinking? I know what you're thinking. I don't know what you're thinking. I just know when Holden starts talking about Taylor Swift, I usually shut off. So I assume everybody else shuts off. Well, I don't know. I'm not shut off, and I just want to say, let's start the Grammy's discussion here.

Jack is a great place to start because I want to say, for the record, before we talk about the winners, I am thrilled that Taylor won nothing. He didn't deserve it. This is not the out. This is not, with so much amazing music that came out last year, tortured Taylor's department is not at the top. Same with Billy's album. I would also say who also won. See, I love, I do disagree with you on that.

I love Billy's album. But it's a personal quieter album. You have to agree. And the winners made more sense because they were like big swings. Oh, you're right. It's just big fun, this kind of like reinvention. I don't know what you want to call whatever's happening with pop right now, but it's awesome and I love it. And it's like huge brat, you know, Sabrina Carpenter's been killing it with her whole vibe.

Like her whole like, I'm just, I'm klutzy and short and silly but also sexy. There's a really fun vibe going on there and the chapel, of course. and Doche, of course. She comes out over and over again and says that like when people like, but she's so sexy when the prudes of the world, she's like, Sabrina's a lot. And she's just like, then when you're looking at me, expect me to be sexy.

It's going to be sexy. And that's just how it's going to be. And it's also she's, but it's like a total comedy act. Like it's total vaudeville as she completely displayed like in this, in her performance in the Grammys. It's beautiful. People are missing.

I think that it's, I don't even think it's like. an interesting point that I think that people aren't capable of seeing a woman that hot as having the level of self-awareness to do camp. Well, but she's not doing like, yeah, exactly. I don't, even when I'm watching it, her do her thing, I'm not thinking like, wow, you know, all the blood is filling in my, my bone, you know what I mean? I'm just thinking like, I'm like entertained.

Like, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not, like, what, I feel like it's sexy for like, 80s, like, too. She's not like, you know what I mean? She's not just having her tits out beyond this and sorry. Yeah. She's fun. Like, she honestly, in my brain, even though I would rather have sex with Jessica Rabbit, but I do feel like she gives that vibe of a cartoonishly like, yeah, she's so fun and sexy and big that it's crazy silly cartoon. I think people aren't able to see it as a performance, you know, the way that they, that you can, like the way that Chapel is like, I'm a drag queen.

It's like, this is a performance. This is a project, right? Instead of a, instead of like, this is who I am, this is me, the pop singer.

People are like, that's Chappell Rhodes's not even your real name. And she's like, correct. Yeah. Charlie XX, same thing.

Charlie XX is leaning hard into this like over the top freak girl club aesthetic and it's awesome. But Billy and Taylor put out like very personal quiet album. So I told, of course,

they didn't get it also though. I think it's like time for Taylor to not win everything. And time for Beyonce, like Beyonce. And time for would put Cowboy Carter when, dude. Cowboy Carter. Yes. It is amazing.

It is such an amazing album. Yes. It is still insane to me that she wasn't even nominated for any country music awards. Crazy. And for that, it's like, thank you. That was a good. A little bit of retribution. Thank you.

Yes. That was awesome. She deserved that 100%. And thank you to the weekend for your boy cat, getting us there. Yeah, we're going to talk about the weekend. I think it is so cool that Beyonce was completely, I don't think it was cool that she was boxed out of the country music awards

and completely boxed out by the country industry for this album. But I think it is very cool that she then won for best country. And that was remember that boxer showed up and boxed her out in her own house. Like, I didn't think that was cool at all. Like, I thought that was really. She's so obviously didn't expect to win. And, like, you know, we talk all the time about how Beyonce often feels like this kind of like ethereal. Like we don't see she's such a like polished public figure.

You know, we don't see any messiness from her really ever. We see vulnerability like in homecoming, like the voiceover is in homecoming. There's like a lot of vulnerability. But like she is just such a such a polished person. And the fact that that is her sidebar of like, like JZ is just still going with her to all these things. That is. like that like I guess it would be a much bigger splash and a much bigger story if he wasn't going with her but all these things but it's just it's so crazy because you're so right mj every

your thing you're saying about biance you're so right and yet she is attached to someone who is taking time i'm going to say most likely yeah very evil yeah yeah and it's just so it's can you imagine the compartmentalization she has to go through to be like because i'm I'm going to show up and be the polished queen that I know that I am, even though that is what is standing next to you. It's got to be crazy. It is totally crazy. And it's like I know that we now have a different association with the word grenade because of Jersey Shore. But I feel like Jay Z standing next to Beyonce and Blue Ivy is a grenade in a different sense where I'm just like, get away.

Get away from them. Get away from both of them. You know, and I just want Beyonce and Blue Ivy to like safely like. like if needed sever themselves but that moment where they announced that she went for Best Country album where she so clearly

was not expecting to win for Best Country album because she has been completely people the country industry's response has just been like nope, not you and when they announce her and there's like the meme of like when someone calls on you in the Zoom meeting and you don't think that you're going to be called on

she was so shocked she was so shocked and then even better is like her teenage daughter like giving her the annoyed like go get up look like so cute. It did make me feel oh my god like Stause that just like us because a lot of people have pointed out in that moment too that there was like a there was a snafu with Beyonce's dress that there was like these pieces coming out that it looked like almost like the

underwire had popped out and if anyone who has worn a bra with an underwire that has popped up for knows it's like it's one of those things that any person that's ever worn an underbriar brunder bra bra bra bra bra before she's defective so mj what did you think about yes yeah just cut me off cut me off like they all do oh i want to know i've forgotten the struggle it hurts all right it hurts and you have to keep pushing it back in and oftentimes you can't afford to get another bra so you just have to kind of keep shoving it back in yeah jacky and how often cut your fucking tits off like mj did bro no i would just put duct tape on the outside of it so that i would try and desperately keep the underwire in it.

People will be like, that's why you shouldn't wear underwire bras. But then I'd be like, but I'm more comfortable in underwire bras and I don't know what to do with myself. MJ, these fucking just squawking ass B words, right? I'm talking to over it. If you talk to anybody with breasts. My bra, right? Everybody with breasts knows the relief that comes at the end of the day when you take your bra

off finally. But can I suggest not even having to? Never. You know, that's my all. day now. It's like, I don't wear anything on my chest. You want to get some beers to play some soccer later? Yeah.

If I'm not know. Women shouldn't be able to vote anymore. No, every day, yeah, I put on my bra and I say, I bind you, Jackie. I bind you from doing harm against yourself. I bind you from doing arm against other people. And if I don't have it, Lord knows what I'm going to become. Actually, wait, MJ is becoming see-through, like those pictures and back to the future. What's happening?

It's almost if some legislation is trying to do. Oh, yeah. Don't. Just turn my mic down. Yeah. You don't exist anymore. Why are we listening to you? I can't even believe.

Why are we listening to a ghost? It makes no sense. I just can't slam my head against the desk. Slam my head against the desk. But you know, guys, this is just our reality. And that's why we're here talking about the Grammys. And I... Can I give a shout out?

Like, one of the things... I know you usually, like, lead the articles. We're talking about the Grammys, and I just want to give a big shout out to Billy Elish's Bro, Bra. Finius. Finius for his message. I loved that. It is sad that it is 2025 and that Finius felt the need. And I'm happy he did because it's sad that he had to do this to the internet, that he literally went on the internet, posted on Instagram.

I essentially, hey guys, we didn't win. Billy didn't win, I didn't win, but we're okay. Please don't start a bunch of fights with other fan bases on the internet. We're fine. I love specifically, if you have a picture of the two of us as your profile picture, that's the tell, because it's always people like the Ari or Taylor or the Swifties, it's always a picture of the artist is the bitchy person's profile as they're being like derogatory, which is even worse because it's like,

Now you're trying to like represent me in this weird way. Like that should get called out more, I feel like. That's, yeah, totally. And that he was just like, please don't. We're going to have a good time. Like, there's no hate that needs to be spread about this. It's also fine. They're rich.

People love the album. You don't need, like, the- You're just going to keep making more albums. The thing. Everything's fine. The thing I do, what, probably the only thing I disagreed with in the Miss Americana documentary about T-Swift is when reputation got, like, I don't even think it got any nominations.

It definitely didn't win. anything and she like gets the phone call. I think it didn't get any nomination. She gets the phone call that it got nominated for nothing. And she just went like, all right, fine. I just have to make a better album next time. You know, I just have to make a better album. And A, I think reputations are best albums. That breaks my heart because that, B, that also means she's probably not going to make another album like my favorite album, which is a total bummer. And see, it's like, girl, who gives a fuck? That the fucking Grammy people, you know, it's just, who gives a shit? This is meaningless. Like these awards at the end of the day are meaningless.

And the Grammy so often gets it wrong. But in this case, most of, and Billy already has, I think, seven Grammys. But then also in this case, correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't seem like there were any massive upsets in terms of, I mean, it was an upset that like, in the sense of like Beyonce winning album with the year and people didn't expect that or whatever. But I think everybody is like thrilled for Chapel, thrilled for Dochi, thrilled for Beyonce, right? You know what would have really upset me, which I'm glad that they didn't. do. So after all this time, very, very sad. If Kanye won for fucking best rap song. But I was thinking, I finally did look up what exactly is the difference between record of the year and song of the Oh, thank you. I'm always been so good. I don't know why I've never Googled this. What is the difference?

So they both go to, because I look this up because, um, not like us won for both, which I mean, fuck yeah, but I was like, so why did they win for both? So essentially, both the record of the year and the song of the year are given to individual songs. But the record of the year is about the putting together. The record of the year is given to the performing artists, the producers, the sound engineers, the master engineer, and the sound mixers. So it's about the production of the song. So I understood because at first I was like, why I heard, we talked about the story about the Beatles song that they put together. And I was like, why the fuck?

like if that Beatles song had one record of the year, that's why I also looked it up because it makes sense because it was very difficult for them to pull all of the like the singing from the footage and do the song and like put together a Beatles song that essentially was never produced. So it makes sense of why it was up for record of the year because it was the production and how hard it was to put the song together. So that, I'm like, okay, but if that had won over not like us,

I think I, I think everyone would have been like, give me a fucking break. Give me a break with that. Like, I think that would have been the straw that broke my camels back and I wouldn't have even expected it, you know? Yeah. Every, every part of not like us, I just kept thinking about the summer when it came out and how happy everyone was, the lead up to it and the exchanging of the disc tracks. Every, it's like this, every aspect of this song has brought our nation.

so much joy and honestly so much unity in a time of a lot. A minor! But what also a crazy thing to win on this level. I love it though. I absolutely love it. I'm so curious what the fuck is going to happen at the Super Bowl now.

Is he going to do it at the Super Bowl? He's got to do it right. He has to. I think an entire audience of people at the Super Bowl is going to sing a minor old together. And by the way, I just thought about the weird Canada-US contentiousness

going into this. Tariffs on Drake. Is that a weird part of it? Maybe. Terps only on Drake songs. Yeah. We just put tariffs on Drake. Like, that, yeah. If you don't, yeah. If you don't follow the Grammys, because not like us won both record of the year and song of the year.

So there's no way he's not going to perform it at the Super Bowl next week. There's just no way. It would be so weird if he didn't. I really think that he's going to. And the fact that he is about to sing a discrack calling Drake a pedophile at the Super Bowl is such a thrill. And there's not a lot of smiles we have going on right now. No.

So when with the smiles come, you've got to smile hard, you've got to smile big. Big. And for that, I thank you, Kendrick. In every conflict, there's at least one bitch. A huge bitch, a silly bitch. A little baby bitch. a raggedy bitch. But sometimes it's unclear who the bitch is.

I'm Kara Klank. And I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And on our new Colin Advice podcast, we're going to help you figure out who's the bitch! We want to hear your problems, dilemmas, and quandaries. No topic is off limits.

Does your co-worker flirt with the boss to get ahead? Is your bestie having her destination wedding on a holiday weekend? Is your therapist being clingy? Does your friend keep bringing her toddler to adult parties? Come on, there's definitely a bitch in your life, and we want to hear about it.

You can email us, DM us, leave us a voicemail, and even call in live to talk to us in person about the alleged bitch in your life. Just go to who's the bitch.com for all the ways you can contact us. New episodes drop every Wednesday starting in October on the Last Podcast Network, so subscribe now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. And tune in to our live stream kickoff on September 30th on the Last Podcast Network Twitch channel, where we'll be, be taking your calls live on air. Help us help you figure out who's the bitch. And I feel that way every time I watch Dochi perform. Can we just, I bow down to Dochy.

Bowed down to Dochy. I am so, so happy. Dochi won for Best Rap Album and I am obsessed. I'm obsessed with her performances. I'm upset. I've just been listening to the album nonstop. I'm obsessed with no longer saying her name incorrectly. because I was saying Doecee.

You were, but every time, I don't know if you notice, as you would get drunker and you would say Doecee, I'd say, Dochi very quietly underneath you because I don't want to, I don't like, I'm not the kind of person. Oh, is someone afraid of my abuse? Yeah. Yeah, I'm scared. Surprise. I'm scared of telling, oh, just a bearded white man. Yeah.

What that you're doing is wrong because Lord knows what you're going to turn on me next. Oh, my God. Just because the Unabomber was a thing at one point. doesn't mean. That's what I'm always thinking Unabomber when I'm like, when are you going to do it next? You know, I'm just, I'm waiting for the other beard to drop. But her name's Dochi.

It was, I was very surprised though that just because it was such a hard album that Sabrina Carpenter won for Best Pop vocal. I was very happy for her because like I feel like they sprinkled it around as you know that the Grammys

oftentimes kind of just I know it's still the same like six people, but at least they sprinkled it around when we just came from such a year of such insane music. Yeah, it felt like everybody who most everybody who should have gotten a spotlight, like got a spotlight, you know, which is really cool. That's what it seemed like to me too. Like it did seem like a bunch like all these different great things about pop were spotlighted. like watching chapel perform and then watching Dochi perform. I was just like I, it's such a thrill to watch.

I mean, Dochi is so cool because anytime someone's doing something so different and so creative and like watching them skyrocket like that, it's, but it's how it felt when I first started seeing chapel perform and how obviously many millions of people felt were just like, oh my God, this is happening.

But yeah, I watched the whole Grammy's like old, and made me miss television. I like television. Like actual just. Everyone's watching something at the same time. And it was so good. And I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot how much I love watching the Grammys.

And I say that every year on page seven, I forget how much I love watching the Grammys, the live performances and seeing Shibuzi. And, like, yeah, I've heard that song a million times. But, like, seeing him perform live made me feel so positive about him. Benson Boone and his flips. I don't even love that song, but he did a good job. Yes. Flipping and singing.

And, yeah, I think that it was really nice. And I had a friend text me the day after and was like, you know, all I do was look at the news and feel despair and feel sadness. And it was so nice to watch the Grammys and to see how queer it was and how fun it was and how happy everyone was. And, you know, and it was also a fundraiser for L.A. So there is, like, there was weird contradictions happening. It's like, you know, all these rich and famous people being like, please give some money to L.A. And then also it was weird because, like, there wasn't any of that kind of like, hashtag resistance. stuff of like talking about Trump.

I don't think anybody said the name Trump all night. And in a way that I think was nice. Yeah, I feel like we both, we both, you brought it up at first like M.J. And I do think it's interesting. It's like debatable, right? You were like, oh, wow, there was like really no, it was kind of a noticeable absence of big political statements. Though, you know, of course, shoutouts to Chapel and Lady Gaga.

Good for Chapo and Lady Gaga. About transvisibility. Chapel on the red carpet, Lady Gaga on the stage. I thought Chapel's very specific. I think this is what's going to do more in these speeches. Well, because Chapel is yelling about health insurance and how people should have health insurance. For artists. For artists.

Yeah. I'm up here to at least sound like I care, but I don't actually have anything specific to say. Whereas Chapel got up and was like, no, no, here's a very specific issue to talk about. And I think moving forward, that'd be great. Because I don't remember what it was, but like in the original dark days of 2016 on. In 2017, every award show, right? Because the awards shows are always January and February.

And so in 2017, it was right after the inauguration. It was exhausting. And it was very heavy-handed. And it was good. We're just... Everything. And a lot of... Well, you're saying is a lot of people didn't have anything to say. Like, they wanted to say something, but they didn't have something. But thank God it wasn't that thing. I remember there was like an Emmys or something. I don't know what, maybe a

Golden Globes where it was like, it was like, they literally just got the memo that everyone had to sort of say something without even actually saying anything real or specific. Just get up there and be like, I too am upset with the world. Like, and it just did nothing and it meant nothing. And it was so empty. Right. So celebrity.

And I think maybe that's why because celebrities have been so under attack in terms of this kind of stuff and like being annoying, liberal, whatever, that like I don't, which I don't want to silence them, but at least it's maybe made people be a little more like, oh, if I'm going to get up there and make some statement, it can't just be like grandstanding just to align myself or whatever, just to do it because I think I'm supposed to. I'm going to get up and address a very specific issue. And Chapel is the person to do it, right? We know she has values.

She's very outspoken about her values. And I was actually a little bit, even though I do think speaking at, like, and now in the absence of everyone saying something, I actually felt like people not saying. Anything also was, it was a little glaring. And it felt, it feels to me like because of, there's a, there's a very obvious huge chilling effect going on in terms of, in terms of speaking out, because people don't want to get caught in the crosshairs of, you know, of the man himself or of his, his mind. Are finally at a lack of, like, even knowing what to say.

Totally. I think that's got to a point where it's like, I don't even know what the fuck to do about this. Like, this is just so insane. And I don't want. I don't want Chapel to be targeted by the president of the United States. I literally was afraid for her before she spoke because I was like, she's going to say something. And I don't want her to experience. She's so, you know, she experiences so much hate.

I'm like, this is, I was really nervous for her. But I agree she did a fantastic job. She chose something very specific. And we all know that we're talking a little bit about health care. Oh, yeah. Right. And so I think choosing that specific thing that everybody can relate to, everybody knows about, everybody cares about.

I totally agree that that actually went really hard. And also I think that the way that Gaga did it was just to be like trans people are not invisible. We love you. We care about you. I actually like that way better than just being like, yeah, hashtag resistance, hashtag anti-Trump. Right. Kind of statements just for the sake of looking like you're on the right side, you know. I love it.

Let's lower the bar so hard we have to actually, the statement has to be, you exist at all. Right. Right. And everyone's like, thank you. Thank you. But it was, you know, she did, it was good. She did a good job. And, yeah, for sure.

And it needed to be said. So that's, I guess, the real question there. And I think I am into the less is more ideology, you know, MJ. Like, I do, I do, though. As long as they're still fighting, like, as long as they're still fighting. Right. As long as people are still doing what they can in the way that they can to still resist. Like, it's like at least a poignant statement.

I think you don't want consent. You don't want implied consent. And I think that's the danger of silence, right? And that was why I felt so weird. It's like everything's, everything kind of, what my friend said when she texted me the next day, she was like, I could like, everything kind of seemed okay, even though it's not okay. And that's why I was thinking about it. Because I agree that all of the extreme heavy-handed kind of resistance liberalism of 2017 was really annoying. And also, I think it was alienating to some people and it turned people off and they felt like Hollywood's too.

Oh, no, was it? Oh, imagine all the people. That wasn't even political. That was just braided COVID. I'm just saying, but I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm talking about when we're talking about celebrities specifically and how they respond to things. That was such an eye-rolly experience.

Tone death. Dude, honestly, I mean, I really, you know, I'll say it again. What was how bad celebrities were at responding to COVID, what partially has gotten into, us into this awkward position now where it's like, damned if you do, damned if you don't. I went on a rant,

I guess in the leftovers last week, just complaining about like, I just, it's like impossible to even figure out like, we're in such a catch three two of how to even be. Yes. It's like if you, if you scream about it,

you're this. If you cry about it, you're this. If you don't talk about it, you're this. And so it's a very tricky line for, for everybody and especially celebrities in thank you speeches.

Yeah. to do it the right way. But that's why my thank you speech goes out to one thing that I think could probably maybe bring us all together. And that is Jaden Smith wearing a house, a literal house, a bonst their head to the Grammys. And I feel like that's something that all of us, no matter how you feel about the reality that's going on, can look at it and go, well, it was a choice. I think provocateur shit has gotten finally reached its brain dead conclusion between

I love it. Between that and Bianca Sensori, it's like just the most brain dead. Bianca Sensori, though. Yeah, that is a different. I mean, that's much more insidious. That's a whole. But they're both. This is a thing.

The Smith siblings are just fun. They're choosing that. They just make really, I've always liked them. And I know that Jaden, I don't think that Jaden is a consistently, I'm not like every choice Jaden Smith makes is good. I'm not saying that. But I like how weird. they are.

I like how willing to... It's like how you let your kids dress how they want to like go out and play and stuff. It's like that never like stopped for them. Like they just never got past the phase where they just dress like maniacs for everything they do. And I hate to bring up the fact that I do a show called Good Put on this network with my brother where we also wear really crazy things because it's fun. And I will say I did immediately send the article of Jaden Smith and Willow Smith in their outfits. And I sent it to Henry. And I was like, what are you going to have on your head?

And he said the Verrazano Bridge. So we need to figure out a way to build the Verzono bridge. He's trying to go to Staten Island? Why the Verzano? My people, MJ. That's where our people are, okay? That's not the bridge that I would choose in New York City. but I'm not Henry, so that's...

Sometimes you've got to build that Verrazano for it to come, and I am excited for us. And I definitely don't mean to... The only reason why I'm lumping the two of them in together is because they're both trying provocateur stuff in a way that at this point is like, are we just getting lazy with it? But obviously, they're two very different things.

And Piacas and Sori, and Kanye too, really should be arrested. That is completely separate. with how I feel about Jaden and Willow because I feel personally that Jaden and Willow are having fun and doing things that will make a splash. Whereas I don't know if Bianca Sensori is

having fun. And also Willow's bit is so talented. I just want to put that out there. Yes, true. Oh yes. So talented. Did you see the like the lip reader interpretation of like how dumb it was? What they were saying was like, let's make a scene, baby. Let's, let's, let's, Let's be provocative. Take off the jacket.

You ready for this? I got you. I got you. It was just like so, it's so lame and pathetic. And, and then did you see the picture of the kid peeking at Beyonce naked? There's like a young boy peeking at Beyonce on the red carpet. Or I'm sorry, Beyonce Bianca, on the red carpet while she's totally naked. She should be arrested.

And, you know, I don't understand why she's not in jail right now. That was totally... So for those of you that did not see the pictures. So Kanye and Bianca Sensori, who is his wife, but I still don't... Like, I would love if we could just get an interview... I was talking about this over on who's the bitch. If we could just get an interview where she's like, I enjoy doing all of this. This is all my choice as well.

I have input in this. I like doing this. I like... Yes, that is what we do. If I could just hear it. Like, if I could just hear... her say it, I think I feel a lot better because we know that Kanye is a master manipulator. We know that he, you know, we definitely know he love bombs. We definitely know that he has a lot of control in his relationships and including his work relationships. And so they showed up to the Grammys

and she had a big, like, big, like floor length black coat on. And when they get in front of the cameras, he tells her, take the coat off. She is almost completely nude except for a thin, completely sheer. Nipples not even covered. Entrance to her vagina not even covered. None of it covered. And so apparently it was Kanye trying to recreate the cover of his 2024 Vulture's one album, which is him in all black and her nude from the back. And he was like, I'm reinvented. It's like, okay. All right. So it's not even, that's why I continue to not even ever compare them with a jaded will. Smith because I feel like he's like, see what I did. Yeah, it's so boring. It's like, oh yeah,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I get it. You always go places with her naked. Yeah, they do this at the time. Like even you used to switch it up. I also, I feel the same way. It's like I, it, I, Bianca Sensori brings up all these weird feelings for me because

on the one hand, yes, on the one end, it is technically, I think, against the law to be naked in public. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, for good reasons. There's a young child. You gotta see this picture. I mean, this boy is a young boy. This is not even a teenager.

I mean, it is so inappropriate. There's reasons that you're supposed to be able to consent to seeing someone naked. And so there's that. And then, but then even if you want to be like, oh, they're doing like weird art, it is so hard to trust that this is something that she has agency over. And then I feel, well, how do you know MJ that she doesn't have agency? She's a grown woman. She can make these choices for herself.

So it sends me into this. looks like a human slave in her face every time they're walking around together. The vibes are off. That's a big part of it. And also, again, everything we know about Kanye and like exactly what you said, Jackie, about his control history, history of being controlling and manipulative. And so it's just, and then just showing her off like she is this object. And I know she is an adult and she can make her own choices.

But it is, it is, he is acting like, this is my object. It's a power dynamic. That is how he has always acted with her. specifically, and it is so creepy and so uncomfortable. And also, they weren't invited. They crashed the whole thing anyway, right? So what were they even doing there? No, that was, that's not, sorry, that was a rumor.

You got poo craved. It got rescinded. It got rescinded that they were not. The un-invitation got rescinded. But I can't tell whether or not they actually were escorted out. It says they were not escorted out. Okay. Because even the article you sent said, I thought to begin with they weren't invited to

them. No, no, he was up for best fucking. song. All of this is still coming out because like now literally just dropped that they were not actually physically kicked out. They also are not going to get in any trouble for doing this because no complaints have been filed. So it is just, it is just done. But yeah, I think the whole idea was they were going to be

annoying dickheads on the red carpet and then leave. And that was the whole idea. And not even, which is even more annoying. It's like, okay, you're not even going to go and like at all be a part of this or support this. You're just going to go do this really self-indulgent, shitty thing on the red carpet, and then exit. And everyone's like- And I hate that we're even giving them what they want. I even hate that we're talking about it. I think she should be arrested for being naked in front of a small child. I just want to bring that part up that she was completely naked in front of a very young child. And it was extremely disgusting and inappropriate and does nothing

for art and it does nothing for, you know, any of that stuff, you know, and it's just, just sad and lame. And, you know, so at least, yes, if we're going to talk about it, at least we'll put it in that context. It wasn't on any level, interesting or cool. It was just pathetic and sad and lame. Yeah, and it's just ever so slightly worrisome, you know. Yeah, but at least he didn't sing about love and Hitler. Yeah, he did just intentionally get in his car. Yeah, they just got in the car. I was just reading through. No, it's even worse. He was like,

we're going to go do this, we're going to go be badass on the red carpet, baby. Come on, baby, let's get, you know what I mean? It's just so lame, dude. Because they, I mean, he was nominated.

Yeah, I'm assuming he was nominated. I just, everything I was seeing all day was about how he wasn't invited, but good point. The part where he was nominated is more dumb. Like, why is he nominated? Like, I just, I don't get that.

Like, why are we nominating people who sing about loving Hitler? it's weird to not have consequences. I mean, I know there has been consequences for his career, but there's no consequences for being an open Nazi in the industry and an abuser. There's no, I'm just so, what pisses me off is so much of the anger, not all of it, not a lot, but a decent amount of the anger is predicated on this idea that anyone ever gets canceled ever. And it's just like, you just, you know what I mean?

It's just so hard to actually be, and yes, some people fully get canceled, but it is so few and far between. And yet people act like this trans army of purple-haired, you know, angry crying people are like removing your celebrity's rights for. That's what the Baldonian and Lake Lightly thing is the fear of getting canceled. It's bigger than the cancellation itself. Can we please talk about, I know that I was getting very frustrated last week because of all the baldoni and Blake Lively stuff. And I just can't believe that we're not, the trials not set until next year. Which is not going to stop. Now, I, what I don't understand, and I think, hopefully I made you guys smile in talking about the fact that, man, can't believe that the PR machine found this story to release about Blake Lively.

because in this smear campaign that Justin Baldoni's doing, which, yes, he did create a website and put every piece, every receipt, every proof he has about Blake lively at all, he has put in this 198 page document and put it up on a website for everybody to look at. It's absolutely insane. Yeah, isn't the fact of the website enough to be like, oh, this guy's ridiculous. I feel like, certainly all the lawyers I know would be like, don't put it on a website. On a website. Isn't the best damning thing of all being like doing it in the first place being like, well, this guy doesn't seem on the level. He seems a complete fucking raging fuck-faced dickhead. If he's going to put this website up like he's in high school and you just like put a tumbler up talking shit about the girl you just broke up with.

So the rest of the high school hates her. I'm over this fucking this issue with these people. They're all insufferable. But the PR scandal also drummed up. this story, gossip girl actress claims unpleasant Blake lively would burp and fart between takes and talk down to others on set as fallout from Justin Baldoni feud continues. She was farted like we like it. She was buffered and she was farted. Blake, you just earned some points with this guy.

You just once earned some points. No, she was bumping and she was farting. No. It's like, wow. This is so. This is not about you, girl. Also, of course you got a burp and fart between takes. Can't do it while you're on camera.

Can't do it on camera. It's got to happen somehow. She was gassy. She's probably eating, I don't know what you actresses eat. I bet she's a beans bitch. She probably has eaten a bean day. You know beans and broccoli. Cruciferous vegetables.

They're always screaming about bean salads. I'm always seeing the bean salads. I've made many bean salads because I'm like, well, these thin bitches are always eating bean salads. and you've been beans outs. And you know what it does? It makes you bop. And it makes you fawd.

And that's what happens. And it's so funny that it's like, oh, yeah. Well, she's bad. She's bad. Oh, so she was burping. She was farting. And she tried to act like we like it. Yeah, she's, the weirdest quoted here.

I'm trying to find it where she says that she thinks that she was acting like she thought it was like a pleasure for us to listen to her burps and farts. I'm like, girl, I don't think that that's what. Blake lively was thinking, I think she's just a human being who produces gas and didn't want to do it on camera. And she did it in between dates. The fact that you, MJ, a grown adult, have to speculate at all about this is the real, aren't we the victims here at the end of the day? Aren't we the true victims? The thing is, like, I don't even like, you know, canonically, I'm not that big into fart jokes. But if it's Blake lively, who is Blake lively is burping and farting everywhere.

I would think it's very funny because I'm just like, well, look at her, be her, man. Wow, let it all hang out. We all fart. And you just see the PR machine on that. It's just like, yeah, do you, oh, were you contacted to and given a bunch of money to put out some dumb fuck statement? I'm going to be on the headlines. Right. Oh, I've also got my two cents to add.

It's like, this is what your tooth. She's a YouTube cooking scale. She might have been like section. harassed on this set of this movie, but she used to fart in my face. She was farted and she was bumping. She was a standing. She was a stand in. She said, I was a stand in movies and TV shows for 15 years and worked on gossip

girl on and off for all six seasons. So she was a stand in. She is currently a YouTube cooking with Nona. Jackie, she's coming for you. Get out of my space. Oh, so you're going to start talking about how much I'm burping? because you know I'm not farted all over the place but I am a burpy bitch and you

better watch out you better watch out like a burp on command. I have a story about Jackie Zabrowski. You better get to type in. And I don't like, I don't like, oh God, okay, stop. I do hate listening to burps. You don't even expect it. Oh, do hate burps.

I hate listening to burps and I don't want to listen to burps. And so I understand where you're coming from, Rosela Rago, but I also don't think that it's relevant. Oh, so MJ's, this is, this is, is why you guys are such a good couple. MJ is anti-burp, you're anti-fart, and together you hate all the, you know, and I love piss play and shit play, and licking up somebody's, yeah, you mix with their own shit,

jerking off on it. You know, when, like, kids, like, when you're a 10-year-old child and, like, a 10-year-old boy is, like, burping sentences to you, I don't like that. Right. Oh, yeah. I don't like that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I don't like that at all. But do you like a celebrity conspiracy? Yes. Hit me with the share. Do you believe a little? the Ariana Jim Carrey plot thickening. Oh. Corn sturt.

Okay. Are we talking about a slurry? Yeah. Oh, I was talking about a slurry. Speaking of Ariana, by the way, I have to say this not just in a text with you guys.

I think I might have ran into Cynthia Riefo at the Ralph's. I don't know, though. Now my mind's playing tricks on me because, I mean, it could just be somebody with like an extremely similar aesthetic, but it was the gauge, the septum piercing,

the long nails, height checks out, look the same, bald. I don't know. It was just, it happened so fast, and I don't know. And it really felt like I was in, yeah, it was like a dream, you know what I mean? So I was running out, grabbing some stuff. I think for my sick family, right, too. So it's, yeah, I've just been in a fog of having my entire, my whole family,

all my wife and daughter and the nanny are all. Or I'm not taking care of the nanny, but still, you know, there's no help. and I'm tired. But anyway, so I was... You sounded like a Blake lively right now. Well, like what you're sounding like. Jesus. Yeah, you burping and farting too.

Burpin and fudden and chidden and pissing. Yeah, I love that song. But anyways, I swear I saw it was Cynthia River. And I hope it was her. We locked eyes. I just because I was like, I assumed, I thought it was probably her. I gave her this big flasher, a big smile

and a big head nod like, A, and she smiled really big back at me, and then we just, I just kept walking, which is my ideal celebrity interaction. I love it. I love it. I think she's holding space for you. Yeah. She was holding space for you. If it was her. She was holding space for you if it was her. And if not, you just smile, gave a big smile to a radiant woman. Yeah, exactly. Or I gave a smile to a really badass lady, obviously if she's got the septum piercing. Which is awesome. And I will say Cynthia Rievo sang at the Grammys. And I, since I have not seen wicked, I actually haven't, I kind of didn't know what all the fuss was about. And I. I kind of didn't know what all the fuss was about. And I. And I. I. I. I was. I was. I. I. I. I. I. I and she is a very good singer. Oh, she's an amazing. She's a insane singer. But also, I will say it makes sense because she must be in L.A. She's definitely in L.A. this weekend

if she's performing at the Grammy. Yeah, I don't know. Who knows? It would make a lot of sense. But at the same time, I'm like, I also can't believe she was just at the Ralphs. Sometimes you got, man, I remember seeing Clancy Brown at the Ralph's, but he was just so upset

looking at different cans of soup. And I wanted to be like, do you need some help with the soup? Are you in a fight with your wife? Yeah, yeah. It's happening. He didn't look like he wanted to be. be talked to. Is your family sick and you're mad and you're here? Looking at soup. Yeah. upset about it.

That's resident with this guy. Anyways, let me get into the conspiracy theory. This one comes in from Jessica who writes, I know this is the stupidest yet most intriguing conspiracy about Ariana Grande and Jim Carrey. So stupid. In fact, I knew Holden and Jackie would love it. Not as much, however, as I love you guys. Thanks for keeping me a three-year-old kinder teacher and mum sane, which means she's probably what maybe I'm. Australian. We've got Kinder. British Australian. Teacher and Mum, M-U-M. So yeah, British-R-A-R-A. After being with insane

and unstable children all day, you are the peace in my chaotic world. I hope you dive into this one and have a laugh or maybe believe. Thank you. Jessica then links to a TikToker with the handle Stephanie Jane, who goes in a little deeper about Ariana's obsession, which I'm Carrie. Now, I don't think we've talked about this if we have, forgive me.

but I was like, I didn't realize the dirty details of Arianna's lifelong obsession with Jim Carrey. So she didn't interview. We have discussed that before, but I'm always down for a return. Yeah. So an interview in 2015 on Live with Kelly Rippa where she talked about meeting Jim Carrey for the first time, she stated that her childhood, that he was her childhood and lifelong crush. And that in another interview, she stated that her first screen name online was Jim Carrey fan 42. She has a shoulder tattoo that is a quote from the Truman.

show. I did not know about this. It reads, in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. That is tattooed on her shoulder. Love it. Of course, her most recent album is called Eternal Sunshine, which of course is a reference to the Jim Carey's starring film, Eternal Sunshine, The Spotless Mind. And the crazier thing is that she

announced this album on Jim Carrey's birthday. Wow. Whoa. Love from Down Under, Jessica. Oh, down under. And I just, I, maybe we had talked about this before. I had not put it in a context that she, that she has been absolutely obsessed with him since she was a young girl. So right, okay.

So, and they'd be fucking. That is the backdrop. And then the speculation about what's happening right now remind me is that they'd be fucking. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Completely and greatly.

And constantly. I mean, SpongeBob is just a sponge. You need, sometimes you need a flesh. Yeah. Well, and now the blinds are definitely getting into how this was a showmance and ending very soon. Oh, my God. What?

I think I remember Jim Carrey fan 42. I didn't realize the shoulder tattoo and I didn't realize announcing the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind referencing album on Jim Carrey's birthday. Something's going on, man. If they weren't fucking, if it was just like I'm really obsessed

with Jim Carrey, I think that that's like weirdly endearing, especially if it wasn't a sexual thing, if it was just like, I just love Jim Carrey's movies. I think that's just so funny. but if it is like a, you know, sounds like a stalking romance thing that she's now trying to realize, then that is, you know, it could either be extremely sweet and cute and innocent or like very sinister.

Like she's trying to consume him, you know. Especially, it would make sense that he would be down with something like that because we do know that he's kind of, you know, due to extenuating circumstances in his life, we do know that his brain is kind of wonky now, it seems. So maybe that's what he's really into. You know, maybe he wants that right now. And I guess I say good for them if they're both into it. And she gets to bang. But, you know, you got to be careful.

Don't get a huge tattoo on your back like Nick Cannon did if you are doing that. Because, you know, Nick Cannon also got the chance to bang his childhood crush, which was Mariah Carey. got to, you know, marry her, but then he did get a full back tattoo that said Mariah on it. I mean, she's already got the tattoo. I want to know, does anyone else in the world, and specifically in our listenership, have a Truman Show tattoo? Because I think it is so funny to have that specific quote as a tattoo. It's a tattoo.

And, Jay, we both have Riverdale tattoos. I know. I hate to remind you that we've, we have the quote of the Chinatown episode. Riverdale quoted on our bodies. I will say too, though, on the other side of this. Bring up the canon, brings up an interesting point. Of course you're going to be insane. I think anyone would go insane if they actually got to bang their childhood crush.

That's like not, yeah, that's like seeing. It's not supposed to happen. Yeah, it's like meeting your like, it's like time traveling and meeting yourself. Yeah. Like it'll break the, you know, the timeline or something. It'll like, yeah, cause madness.

You'll achieve madness points if you do that. Yeah. Like, I couldn't know. Who was my childhood crush? I mean, like, Pamela Anderson? Like, that'd be so weird. I mean, her now, though. I'd get it.

Yeah. Jane McCarthy, she's, yeah, that would be a weird one. Or Carmen Elektra. It's also just very funny to have a crush, a childhood crush on Jim Carrey, who is like, famously not a sexy, you know. Or a singer. Or. I wanted to fuck the shit.

shit out of Jim Gary. What you talking about? Oh, yeah. I mean, I was just, but I've always been attracted to funny. So I mean, I've been attracted to funny men too. I just, Jim, I, what I mean is he doesn't cultivate a sexy public persona. I'm not saying funny can't be sexy. I'm not saying Jim Carrey can't be sexy. Please. Oh my God, MJ. Please God, don't take it from me. I almost exclusively. I know you're invisible now, all right, but don't take that a comedy can make you hot away from me. No, comedy can make you hot, of course. I'm just talking about, I've just, I've really hung up on the good afternoon, good evening, and good night. I get it. It's weird. And it is fun. It's less of a believer, don't believe, and more of a rumination on

like how. Time. Fucked that would be. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. How weird that is and how weird. Again, how unusual that makes her that, like, I think she really was like, I've been obsessed with this guy since I was a kid. I'm going to like get him. You know what I mean? There's so many other Jim Carrey quotes I would put on me. I know.

Somebody stop me. Somebody stop me, yeah. Obey hive. I mean, it's awesome powers. It's not Jim Carrey at all. But like I would definitely put that on me. Do not go in there. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So many I would put before the Truman Show. And I love the Truman Show. So I'll bet that there's a listener out there who has a Truman Show tattoo. Please tell us about it. Yes. Please tell us about it. I want to know.

But just the lyrics to Cuban Pete. You know? Like, oh, me, Cuban Pete. That's just such a no brain. Or yeah, full back tattoo, but of the mask. Like, I do think that that, see, that's a fun entry of it. Yeah.

Give it out. All right. Well, I mean, I, I, I mean, I. There you go. I have to believe. I definitely believe. We have to believe it. It was more of a deeper dive into.

I was just, I just, to contextualize, I think, what's, what is happening, you know? Because I do think. Just like how the world's changing in apocalyptic ways, I think there's something going to happen between SpongeBob, Ariana, and Jim Carrey. Spongebob, Ariana, and Ace Ventura, a pet detective. Yeah, like a seal will be broken that will cause the apocalypse because of this triumvirate.

Can we add Hugh Jackman and, oh God, and Sutton Foster into this? I feel like this also has something to do with, like, I know they wouldn't make it a triumvirate anymore, but I just feel like throw the two of them in there because whatever schism is going to come from that kind of a love affair. Like, I don't know if I can handle it. It's the most romantic musical theater relationship ever because it is between a straight woman and a gay man.

Yeah. What more, what like, what better to symbolize, you know, the true nature of a musical theater true love than that. Oh, they're banging the back of the music man, but I think they were. we're both married, but hopefully, but they publicly got together at least after they were both not married anymore. So, dude, but that, again, is just so musical theater that you are cheating on your S.O. with, you know, somebody backstage, like, at a musical. Like, that's the most musical theater thing you can do. I mean, everyone's done it. Oh, I can't believe it was the Music Man, too. Man,

I love that musical. The Music Man, too, the sequel to the Music Man, which is, I felt like a little inappropriate, you know what I mean, that? Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm thrilled with that. But Harold Hill was probably my first celebrity crush, and I'm talking about the character of Harold Hill. I'm sure I've brought this up to you before, MJ, because Jeff is also obsessed with the music man, and I've never seen the music man. Oh, really? And he's a what? He's a music man. Oh, I hear all of it.

I hear all of it. Oh, we got trouble. Right here. I feel like I need to see it with both of you, though. Oh, my, yes. Yeah, we watch it with both of me. And the problem is it's really best seen in a community theater setting. Yes.

Yes, there is a movie. Yes. But it is the ultimate community theater. It was my first show. It was my brother's first show, different productions. Yes. And it was our cousin's first show. It is just, it is everyone's first community theater musical.

It's perfect. I love it. It is about a feisty man who comes to town who's selling snake oil, but that's in the form of a marching band. Oh, it's perfect. It's perfect. To each the road. Two is more MJ. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

That's why I say tweets there. It's also set in River City, Iowa. It's set in a fictional city in Iowa that is, I believe, based on my own home city of Dubuque, which is also a river city in Iowa. It is, yes, thank you to each my own. It's a perfect musical. It's a perfect musical. Well, take that musical and get it off the list because it ain't on it. Oh, who's on the list?

Jackie, got to have that list. Celebrity facts that sound like gossip. but are shockingly true. Always a reminder for everyone that Charlize Theron is a badass in a hundred million ways. And one of these ways is very, very scary and upsetting. Charlize Theron witnessed her mother kill her father. Born to Gerda Merritt's and Charles Theron in South Africa in 1975, Charlize witnessed plenty of family violence.

When she was 15, Gerta shot Charles in self-defense in front of Charlize. My father was so drunk that he shouldn't have been able to walk when he came into the house with a gun. My mom and I were in a bedroom leaning against the door because he was trying to push through the door. So both of us were leaning against the door from the inside to have him not be able to push through. He took a step back and just shot through the door three times. None of these bullets hit us, which is just a miracle. But in self-defense, Charlize his mother ended the threat. And this is so scary.

And thinking of the fact that she is, like, everything that I've ever read about her is, like, talking about like she's a wonderful mother. She's a very present human being. Talking about like I can't imagine the years of therapy she has had to go through. Also wild that she played Eileen Warno. I know, dude. That's triggering. Dude.

To that I say to each, Charlize Theronitin. Yes. Yeah. There it is. That job. Also, I just love that this list is like, it sounds like, But it's true. Number one, here's a domestic violence incident. Number one. A woman. Yeah. Trauma. This is a trauma, but I didn't, I don't know if I remembered

this tidbit that Tina Faye was sliced in her front yard. Yeah, but I didn't realize it happened to her when she was so young. She was five years old and playing in the yard when a stranger approach with a knife cutting her cheek. But Faye was confused. She said, I proceeded unaware of it. I was a very confident little kid. It's really like almost like I'm kind of able to forget about it until I was on camera. And it is one of those things where it's like it is such a defining feature of her face. But I didn't realize that, man, it's so crazy not to be all, oh, Dr. Jackie over here, that your body still like holds that. And even though with all the regeneration like from that time period and all the growth that happens that it would still be so prominent.

And again, I know nothing about skin cells or anything like that. but I just, I find it fascinating. The body keeps the score. Oh, the body keeps the score. I'll go past the Matthew Broder. Like the body keeps the bore, am I right, people? Thanks a lot, Holden. Thank you so much.

David Bowie didn't have heterochromia, as many believe. His eyes appear different because their pupils are different sizes, which is called Anisko Coria. He was not born with his condition. He actually got into a fight with his friend, George Underwood, as a teenager. The two apparently had a crush. on the same girl, with Bowie boasting to Underwood about being a Casanova.

Underwood got upset and punched Bowie in the eye, scratching it accidentally with his fingernail. Funnily enough, there was no lasting hard feelings and Underwood would go on to become a huge collaborator of Bowies. Wow. That is a fun fact. Thank you, Liz. That is a fun fact. And I guess this is a fun, it's not really a fun fact. And just that it's something I didn't know. Dwayne the Rock Johnson reportedly had a breast reduction due to having gynecomastia where a man's breast tissue swells. In the 2000s, he said he had to undergo gynecomastia surgery, which is a reduction of breast tissue. He said it was an aesthetic thing. I went in and showed the doctor and he said, are you crazy?

I was walking around with my shirt off all the time, so I had it done, which I... This summer, the Rock has tits. And then everyone's like, oh, now everything's woke. I'm kind of talking ahead of my skis out here, but I remember reading about this when I was getting my own top surgery that I think that when in the formation of top surgery, like as a gender affirming procedure, like was like born out of the original surgery, which was like gender affirming but for cis men who had this condition and who needed to reduce like their chest.

And so it is like many of the things that are now illegal. It is a medical treatment that is usually used for cis people. For other things. Yes, for other things. And that's legal. I don't think so, MJ. No, I think we should get rid of all. I.

Filled with rage. Let's continue on with the list. Prolific singer, Johnny Cash, was one of the very first Americans to learn of Stalin's death. During the Cold War, Cash was tasked with intercepting and decoding messages from the Soviets. and it's long been rumored that he was the one to alert U.S. officials who then alerted President Eisenhower that Stalin had died. His daughter, Roseanne, confirmed the rumor. He told me and my siblings about it many times over our lives. That's cool.

So not just a rumor. So actual truth. It's a rumor. Anytime I think about like the, when we were talking last week about just like people being that like any, I know that they probably weren't always. celebrities while being a so like a spy of some sort but the idea yeah like Christopher Lee yeah and just the idea of being a spy to me is so movie coded that I'm just like that's crazy he was all like Tom Cruise even though I'm sure it was very different than that but like what if it's not yeah yeah no it's also it's just I feel like an interesting thing about that generation is just that like

nearly every famous man from that generation just like was involved with war somehow you know yeah yeah Often couldn't get out of it. Yeah, exactly. Or couldn't get out of starting fires. Sorry, I'm triggered. Cash also caused a massive wildfire in 1965 that almost completely destroyed a population of endangered birds. Cash's autobiography states he was leaving a fishing trip

when he pulled over to deal with his camper's squeaky wheel. He found oil dripping onto the hot wheel, which started a grass fire that quickly grew and burned 500 acres of the Los Padres National Forest, which is a sanctuary for the endangered California condors. In the end, 49 of the 53 condors there were killed. Oh my God.

Dash was sued by the government and in the deposition said, I don't give a damn about your yellow buzzards. Why should I care? Why is he settled with the government? The most well-known iconic force ever. I don't get your bath. I don't shove them back in that burned down forest.

Okay, Johnny Cash, but you should care about the birds. Yeah, and you just dropped the transatlantic accent. He makes no sense for who you are. Right now I'm trapped in the music man. He settled with the government and paid an $82,000 fine. Last but not least, Brian Cranston and his brother were once murder suspects. The two were working temporarily at a restaurant in Florida to make some money while on a long trip around the U.S. Man, back then when you're like, ah, I'm just going on a trip.

I won't make money. as we go. I love hearing about shit like that. It's like, I just put me in the back. Oh, wash the dishes. The restaurant's chef, Peter Wong, apparently hated everyone and was unpopular amongst the staff who would joke about how they'd do away with him. Having earned enough money, the brothers left to go north. Around the same time, Peter Wong went missing. When investigators questioned the restaurant staff, they pointed to the Cranston's. Little did we know that they put out an APB on us to find us. We were somewhere in the Carolinas, I think, at that point. And luckily, the investigators found the real murderers before they got to the Cranston's. Wow.

That, this is a good list, Jackie. It's a good, you know, some of them are more upsetting than others. Yes. It is. And some of them are just interesting the fact that, you know, Brian Cranston knew Charles Manson. There's these things that we just don't know about from olden times before the days of TMZ. So, you know, you've got to find it out other places like a list many, many years in the future. Wow. Well, good for Brian Cranston.

Also, Debbie Harry was once given a ride by Ted Bundy. Didn't know that. So there you go. Crazy. Wow. Done. List is over. Crazy.

List is fucking over. And so are you, listener. What are you going to Peter Wong me right now? Don't like Brian Cranston over here. Oh my God. To each, Charlize Theron. Ladies and gentlemen, and my own is blindness. That's right.

I think I'm going. Blind. Oh, we can't see them. Since the three-named actress is in the news again, it is time for a refresher about the time she hooked up with a married actor and had phone sex with him too. She then sent the phone sex recordings to his actress wife. Whoa.

Three names. The lady has three names or the man has to? The lady has three names. She was a big deal when we were. We were youngens when we were teens. Catherine Zana Jones. She's in a reboot that's coming out. She's in a reboot that's coming out.

Sarah Michelle Geller. What is the other three named actress in a different reboot? It's also in a reboot. Okay, Sarah Michelle Geller is... Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yes. Great. There you go.

She had phone sex and then sent it to the actress wife. But we don't know who? We don't know who. And she also talked about... Was this an article you sent Jack here in an article that was attached to this blind? Yes, about talking about when she was 16. and she was on talking about Jennifer Love Hewitt. And everyone was like, hey, hey, tits.

And she's like, I'm 16. Yeah, when she was just a child and like just she would go on interviews and it was just old grown men talking about how hot she was. So maybe it's okay that she. Oh, so maybe it's okay? No, no, no. Maybe it's okay that she did this to this man. Because she was.

Oh, I thought you meant maybe because she did this that it was okay that they did that to her. I was about to flip out. Look. Who knows what I was. I was about to go to, like, go to the mattresses about Jennifer love you. You all know nothing's okay, all right? Everyone knows nothing's okay, but then also question mark? No.

Um, I, that's, uh, that's crazy. Even crazier is this. And I hope she didn't do it. Even crazy is this. This slide's so weird and crazy. The big streamer doesn't want the reboot of the Western family show to be anything like the original. They want lots of sex and violence. Um, hey, Dallas.

No, it is one, two, three, four, five words. Second word is a space. No, but similar vibe. But more like, yeah, kind of quaint and the second word. Little House on the Prairie. Yes. Oh, yeah, I did. But I wanted to play charades with you.

With Melissa Gilbert, right? It's Melissa Gilbert that was talking about this. So, yeah, Netflix, I guess, is trying to get a reboot going. They did Greenlight a reboot for the show. the showrunner is Rebecca Sonn and Shine, who was the showrunner for the boys. And I just really like the idea of a Game of Thrones treatment given to Little House of the Prairie. I kind of like it. Just because nobody will be happy.

I kind of like it. I will be very happy. I love the books. I'm very excited. Okay. I was going to ask. So I don't have really a relationship with the loss of the prayer. So I was, part of this too was my curiosity to say, what are, so you read the books but didn't

watch the show. The show looks stupid. The show looked stupid and boring. And maybe I'm, maybe I was wrong, but it was, you know, it was like,

oh God, remember what the show looked like? No, the books were great. You know, you're in a shack, you're in a lean to. The books were definitely more.

I feel like in that time during, you're reading books. You have to remember when you are, like when you are socialized as a girl, you're reading books like, Little House on the Prairie, you're reading little women, you're reading,

and a Green Gables. reading. It's just like you're told to at least our age group, I feel like. You're a girl who likes to read. Here are your choices. Here are these books you have to read. But MJ in selling me on this says you're in a shack, you're in a lean to. And yes, Jackie then jumped in.

But I don't feel like I'm sold yet, MJ. I'm in a shack. I'm in a lean to. Why do I want to read this book? The first one is called Little House in the Big Woods. And it's about a homesteading family and not the creepy kind of to Today, okay. Like, I'm talking about it's a family and they are just pioneering.

I played Oregon Trail. Yeah. And then you read a book where you're like, I'm in a covered wagon. We're going through the snow. We're building a little house out of wood from the trees. And it's a thrill. It's a thrill. And it leads to you someday reading the thornbirds, which we know gets you everywhere

about the Australian outback and about people, you know, living out there. the idea of religion coming in and, you know. Swiss family Robinson, like kind of living in the, you know, having adventures. I have not revisited these books since I read them. They were written in the 1930s and I am not sure if there's any like, like, I don't know if there was anything sinister about them in terms of like, did Laura Ingalls-Wilder have weird beliefs? There's got to be something.

There's got to be something I didn't know that they were doing. But at the time, it just felt like it was great. You get a little box set. It was my first box set of books. And you're like, I have eight books of this following this girl that I can read, you know? And so, and yeah, they're fiddling at night. They're gathered around the fire. They're hunting.

They're learning how to make their own clothes. I loved it. I slurped it up. And again, I have no idea if they hold up. I have no idea if there's anything weird about them in retrospect. The American Library Association voted you. unanimously to have Little House on the Prairie author Laura Ingalls Wilder's name stripped from the title of a prestigious child's book award because her writings reflected quote dated

cultural attitudes towards indigenous people and people of color. There you go. So there you go. There is. I knew. I felt like there must be something. It was written in the 30s. They were in the 30s.

I'm not saying that it's like we agree. Like that's how it's like that's how it's. Now there's a book. Honestly, I love. I loved hatchet. I read hatchet on. All the time. Oh, yeah, hatchet.

Now, now we're talking. Yeah, I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised either. Yeah. But a reboot of it, make it CW. Make it CW. Get rid of the Netflix. Put vampires in it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, make it CW. Don't make it Game of Thrones. Make it CW. Yeah, make it a teen sex romp. That's what I'm leads. All right. All right.

Last one, are you ready? Are your bones prepared for what's to come? I guess my bones are prepared. The permanent A-list rapper and his wife showed zero affection towards each other. She did make out with her bodyguard, though. This would be a Grammy's blind. I wish it was Beyonce and Jay-Z, but we know it's not Beyonce and Jay-Z. The answer to this blind.

Is that the answer to this blind? Yeah, yeah. Beyonce made out with her bodyguard? Honestly, I've seen more than one blind about Beyonce being... sexed out by her. She's Eleanor Roosevelting it? Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. 100%. Yeah. Yes. Totally. Totally. I, and that's not the first time I've seen that, that particular type of blind about Beyonce. So how is she going to disentangle herself from him? Maybe you just don't. Maybe

it's one of those like Hillary Bill Clinton scenarios. Yeah, you're just kind of like, oh well, we're just kind of. And you live on a separate house on the property and you bang whoever you want. We're locked in. We just, we tolerate each other. We like, but only to a certain degree. And we're on, you know, it's always on thin ice fucker. So don't be quite so you, you know, moving forward, Jay-Z. But we're just going to do whatever, right?

Damn. Who knows? Maybe she killed a bunch of, you know, animals or something. I mean, they do have that womb farm, you know, like they've got the womb farm somewhere. Yeah. You never, that's why I'm always thinking about it. You know, it is something. 100%.

So don't immediately say that she's never done anything bad, you know? Uh-huh. Think about that womb for them. I love her, though. I love her factories and I love her music. Are you back to the land of the seeing, Holden? Yes, I can see and we see that we've reached the end of another episode. Oh.

You feel good about that? Yeah, I do. I think that was, that was me performing. I just wanted you to like feel like you were the most best you that you could be. You know what I mean? We are at the end. Oh, he's doing it again. All right.

Well, that is the end of our episode of page seven. Thank you guys so much for joining us this week of just, you know, we're screaming, but also we're not screaming about all the things we are all screaming about in the back of our brain. But just so you know, we are right there alongside you. and we will get through this together, everybody. Come hang out with me over on Instagram. Yes, I've been doing my Jackies Snackies. Come follow me at Jack That Worm.

Those banana peelers, get out of here. Those banana peelers were so good. And if you like fake nanner, highly recommend the banana peelers. I ate almost the entire bag of them. I'm very upset with myself. I should not have done it. But also, you can hang out with MJ and I while we debate over how good banana peelers are while we play The Sims on Wednesdays, 8.30 in the morning my time, 11.30 in the morning, MJ's time on Twitch.com.

Oh, no, it's Jackie. And if you want to hear me other places, you fucking can. Whoa. You definitely can. Look up who's the bitch. I'm over there. Look up Crescent City. Deep dives. I'm over there. And sometimes, I mean, all the time, I'm with Holden on Fridays. Holden? Yo, Jackie, I recently showed my viewers on Twitch a video that I would love for you to emulate. I know your snackings generally consist of like actual products being sold, currently trying new things. But I would love to see a video where you try the Elvis peanut butter and banana sandwich. Speaking of bananas, all you have to do is you toast the bread first before you put the bananas and peanut butter.

in between the two pieces of bread. Doesn't that hurt the top of your mouth? I don't know. That's just what they said. You have to lightly toast it first. Okay, lightly toasted. Before you melt an entire stick of butter into a pan and you put the sandwich in and you have to stop, you keep flipping it until all the butter is gone because it's fully sopped into the...

On one slice of bread. Two slices of bread. And in between is a bunch of peanut butter and a bunch of bananas. Okay. And you put that, and so you make the sandwich. You toast the bread, make that sandwich, and then you melt the stick of butter in a skillet, and then you put the sandwich in there, and you just keep flipping it until all of the butter has been fully absorbed into the sandwich.

And that is what Elvis would eat, like, every day. I'm actually kind of sad for Elvis, because I think it would have bumped it up if he had covered the outside with mayo instead. Yeah, there was no mayo covering. I think maybe that was why the toasting to, like, create that crispiness that the mayo can create. regardless, I would love to see you try that sometime and let me know. I would love to try that. Hey, Holdenators Ho on Twitch every Friday with Jackie, 6BM-E-S-T.

It's Jack and with the Holdies. Catch me out on Twitch.combe forward slash Holdenator. So it's February 2. I'm trying to stream every day. I have been immediately cursed trying to stream every day with a sick family, but we'll see if I make it through. So far, so good. I've kept the streak alive.

So there you have it. Check me out on Twitch. TV forward slash hold nater. So every day in the month of January, hopefully. Also check out patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. Weekly bonus episodes. Jackie Book Club, Buffy Watch Long at the higher layer. It's amazing. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast at gmail.com. Please send in your conspiracy theories. I need them. Let me have them. Page seven podcast at gmail.com. MJ? My name is MJ. I'm MJ K.L. Kat on Instagram and I am MJ Nethel.

with a K. There's a K in there. Figure out where the K is on Blue Sky. Hell yeah. I love that. And also for everybody that is doing the daily countdown, yes, we have 19 days left until the Baldwin's start releasing their episodes. So just keep that. Guys, we've got something to look forward to. Don't worry. And let's sing the shout-out song, guys. Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the emails that you wrote it. Come on. We're gonna read up to you. Come on. Hello, hello, it's me again. You thought I was gone, but I'm back. It's page seven shoutouts. It's the page seven shoutouts. And you can send in your own shoutouts to page seven podcast at gmail.com, babies. We love hearing from you guys. And, oh,

I mean, to just be the recipient of May Queen Goose Pictures, I just want to say thank you so much, Melissa, for the May Queen Goose Pick. And I also want to say a quick thank you to Allison for all the TV and YouTube wrecks. You are so right. And that MJ should look to Tim Gunn and Michael Sheen for Style Inspo. You are so right. And I just want to say thank you to all you guys that take the time to send in your shoutouts, your high hellos, your conspiracies, really anything. you like to page 7podcast at gmail.com we love hearing from you and yes we don't get to all of them but we read a lot of them and i just want to say thanks guys so much we need our community now more than ever

and i just want to say thank you all and i'm sending you love i'm also sending love to stephen who told us about a movie called two of a kind from 1983 that's about angels trying to make John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John fall in love as a way to stop the apocalypse. I have not started watching it yet, but I need too soon. And thank you so much, Stephen. And also thank you to Holden, not Holden McNeely, different Holden, for reminding us about six feet under. Oh my God.

I watched, I think, the first like three seasons. And then at the time period, I was so sad in whatever portion of my life that was in, I fell off. And I was like, this isn't a good place for my mind space right now. You know what I mean? But I'm going to go back to it. And thank you so much, Holden, for reminding us about it. And I do love you did include a special shoutout to Holden McNeely because I share his first name.

So he was essentially my gateway to a cough, cough, parasycial relationship. You welcome, babe. I'm so happier here. And I'm sending you love. Oh, I had to pause in the middle of my shoutouts because Holden called me and for some reason my ringer was on. And I think it's like because he felt me saying his name somewhere. And I happened to conjure him. So I just wanted to let you guys know that I am very powerful and I should be scared of what I can manifest. Anyway, I am sending love. Thank you again. You can sit

in your own shoutouts to page seven podcast.com. Page seven body, that's not one. Page seven podcast and gmail.com. Hold it. You screwed up my whole flow. Erica, thank you. Thank you. Erica says, hello, faraway friends in my ears. This is a shout out to you. What? This year, you were my number one podcast on my Spotify Rapped, which I think is partly because I did a full Riverdale rewatch and listen to your episodes after each Riverdale episode. Is this why my brain is broken?

Yes, probably. Did it bring me so much joy? A million percent. Thanks for being with me all year and giving me so much inspo for excellent. when working on my own little podcast, Macab and Company, check it out. Look it up, Macab and Company. Love you all. Hail page 7 and sending you so much love, Erica. And congratulations, everybody. Look up and check out Macab and Company. Now, we've got another beautiful shoutout going out to our very own from chat, Roo Guru, and you are adorable. What do you got to say,

rule? This shout-out is for my fellow federal employees. Yes. This current administration seems to be out to threaten, intimidate, and bully us out of doing the good and honest work we've been doing for years regardless of who's in office. It's one of the true joys of my life to be of service to the American people, and all the civil servants I know feel the same way. Most, if not all of us, could make substantially more money in the private sector, but we choose to work for the government out of love of country and of the mission. I hope that any federal employees listening know that I'm so proud to be among your numbers, and remember, our oath of office calls us to support and defend the Constitution of the United States

against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Please don't let this current environment get you down. Oh my God, I'm sending you so much, love, Rue. Thank you so much for doing what you do. And thank you to everybody to all of the federal employees that listen to this show. I just want to say, thank you. Thank you for fighting the good fight. Fuck the people that are trying to tell us what we can and cannot be and what we can and cannot do,

even though, you know, oh, they're getting away with it. It's fine. I shouldn't end the episode. Shouldn't end the episode upset. I'm sending you guys love. and our community means a lot and being good to each other and being good to ourselves

goes much further than they want you to think. I love you guys. Let's do good. Let's be good. I'm sending you so much love. We are going to make it through this together. We're not going anywhere.

I love you guys. We'll be back next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.