Page 7 - Episode 102: Former Police Detective Guy Hanks with Ed Larson

Episode Date: May 10, 2015

Ed Larson joins us to finally weigh in on the Cosby scandal and Katy Perry performing at the Super Bowl. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Okay, let's begin. Oh, no. Marcus is sick and I've got the song Toxic stuck in my head. I'm addicted to you. Don't you know that you're toxic? My name is Jackie Zabroski. My name is Molly Nuffalo. And we have a visitor today, Marcus?

Yeah, we do. Introduce me. It's Ed Larson. How you doing? What's going on? I just realized I've never introduced a guest on any of the hundreds of podcasts that I've recorded over the years. You did okay. It was fine.

Ladies and gentlemen, Ed Larson's with us today. Hey, everybody. How you doing? Nice to be back in the round table of gentlemen and the queen. For brighter side. That's right. Well, you didn't introduce yourself and then I got all screwed up and, you know, I just got excited because Ed's here. Yeah.

So nice to see everybody. Toxics in my head. It's a great fucking song, man. It is. You know, I haven't heard it yet. You have definitely heard it. I don't think I have. Okay, go back to 2004.

Three, five. Oh, it's an old song. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I like Britney, but... Oh, yeah, I have heard.

Yeah, you know the song. It's a fucking great song. It's a really good song to chop fruit, too. I have that to say. Like, everybody knows I'm working a fucking pie shop. It is Thanksgiving weekend. I am chopping fruit. I am living in a fruit hell.

But it's kind of fun because I get to listen to whatever I want to fucking listen to. You have to peel the apples before you chop them? Oh, yeah. I'm peeling them all, man. That's great, though. I'm great. I got the fucking straight peeler. I'm just like,

peop, I'm a dynamo. Do you have like a tool that does it all at once? No. No, no, no, no, that would be too easy. Yeah.

Not this bitch. I got blisters. I'm doing fucking great. They do make that the tool that just cores the apple. And peels it all that. Yeah, no, I know it. I know they exist.

But the thing is when you're probably like $100. Yeah, you get one. It's an old-fashioned in pie shop. They don't like those kind of things. They don't like tool, simple machines. No, simple machines. There's no electricity. There's no motor. Yeah, we do it. It's just like, it's just, you put it down, you oil it. No, it's too much. It's got oil in it. We can't have it. No, no, no, no. Everything is by candlelight. I think I'm Amish. You can use Crisco to oil and it would be fine. Oh, yeah. I fucking use Criscoe to oil a lot of things, Ed. That's great. Man, I bet your butt looks great covered in Crisco. Man, I think anyone's butt would look great covered in. Crisco.

Not mine. It's hairy. Yeah, that's true. Harry butts would not look good Covered and Crisco. It would look all matted. Yeah, but it would look like a dirty cat. A wet cat.

Have you ever seen a wet cat? They're cute. No, they're angry. It's my barking cat. Better watch out for Ed's barking cat. Oh, yeah. As long as you stayed away from the crack on me, it'd be fine. No butt, no hair anywhere except for the crack of my butt.

Really? Yeah. And it's just that, that is a valley. Same thing with dolphins. I think a lot of people have a hairy crack though, right? Isn't that a thing that's why people get it bleached? Yeah. You got to get that out of there.

Oh, why would you get it wax? Wait, Marcus, are we talking? I know, because women are told that any hair is unnatural and then they feel on. Which is true. Are we talking like if you look at your bare ass, you can see it? Yes. Interesting. Yeah, it grows outward.

Like nose hair that you can see? Yeah, like nose hair that you can see. Yeah. Like nose hair that sticks out except it kind of grows out and it parts. Yeah, if you want to see it. I don't want to see it. Thank you. I got ear hair now.

Oh, no. I'm so sad. That's a new development? New thing. I'm so upset about it. I had to shave inside my ear. It was so dangerous. You can't do that.

You got to get a tiny scissor. I mean, no, no. I mean, just I use the buzzer, which is better than tiny scissors. I have horrible death perception. Really? Yeah. Bad at baseball then. I was all right at baseball.

But I was bad at, you know, drawing lines. I just picture... Using scissors. I picture Ed and looking at his bathroom mirror, like, kind of like doing a displacement exercise trying to get the clipper close to the year. You actually, yeah. You're doing a great impression of what it was.

It's too bad that we don't have a video. It'll be back. I'd love to see it. Next time I'll invite you guys over. Oh, please do. Man, is everyone watching their Thanksgiving movies? Plains Trains and Automobiles, Best Thanksgiving movie of all fucking time

It is on Netflix right now. Dutch, too. Dutch? Yeah, man, with Ed O'Neill. Oh, I don't know why. I thought you meant that it was Dutch. That's what I thought you meant. I was like, no, it's American.

It's really fucking American. Starting John Candy. Oh, the Dutch sound like, I have no idea. Yeah, yeah, they have wooden fucking shoes and shit like that. And they're all happy, I think. They're bad at sneaking up on people. Clop, clop, clop, clop.

It's because they all giggle, too. They're very happy, and I think that they have, like, no violence. Yeah, and they all, like, work sensible jobs and health care and yada, yada, yada, who fucking cares? Do you know in the Netherlands, their prisons, they let them out on the weekends? Why? That's a horrible idea. I mean, it's great. It helps build their family relationships, and it strengthens them, and they always come back.

I guess that's a thing. If you love something, let it go, man. Because they're scared of not getting their weekend privileges taken away. Yeah. That is a great idea. Don't be a dick all week and then you can... And they can build up family. You know, so when they get out, their children don't hate them.

They got some good ideas over there. The Dutch are nailing it. Like, nailing it. What are we doing here? They have comedy out there. Marcus, can't we take Cave Comedy Radio out to Dutch? Dutchland. Holland.

We don't want to go to... Dutchland. Another good song. Oh, man. That's so funny. Like, the guy... who like during World War II, he's like, he wanted to go to Dutchland when he accidentally went to Germany.

That's not where I wanted to go. This is not the right place. I hear that Dutchland is very peaceful. Well, you know, we are here to talk about celebrities, and there is one celebrity scandal that we haven't really talked about yet, but it has gotten to the point where we cannot ignore it any longer. The Bill Cosby's sexual allegations. What happened?

What is there? It's a Bill Cosby, what did you do? Was he upset? Although I actually had a friend when I said, oh, we're talking about Bill Cosby today. And she goes, what? What's going on with Bill Cosby? I was like, where are you?

Where are you living? Probably just not on the internet a whole bunch. I think it's just the internet thing. Yeah. God bless her. She's probably having a great time because every time you log into the internet, something terrible has happened. And right now, like Facebook,

is just all sorts of not only Bill Cosby news, but then like a lot of Bill Cosby jokes, I'm going to say some of which are great, and then a lot of which is just like, just don't do it. Oh, my God, you want to do yourself a fucking favor in a social human experiment? Go on Twitter and search Bill Cosby old as fuck. It is the worst, like, Bill Cosby ain't raped nobody.

He old as fuck. It's all stuff like that. I mean, you know, they make a great point, you know. Bill Cosby eyelids got on. is he old as fuck? It's just like it's so ridiculous. And it's the out, the, um, the support from, from people is ridiculous how much people are just supporting Bill Cosby through all of this.

People are saying that he is the victim and all of this, not even denying that the allegations are true. People are like, yes, he raped upwards of 20 people, but stop being so mean to him. They are being very mean. They are being very mean. And it's a lot of women, too. It's a crazy thing. I couldn't believe it.

It's a lot. It's a lot of them. I feel like he could have just fucked him, right? Yeah, like, why do you just... Obtain consent and then go right ahead. He's got a fetish to feed. Oh, is that what it is? Is it, because it's... What is he giving them?

They're, like, actually, like, passed out. Yeah, he's getting them, like, drugs. Or hypnol and shit like that. Yeah, and he had the audacity to write a joke about it. Although, I guess back in the day, you could just be like, yeah, here's a joke about drugging women. Yeah, I'm drugging women. Spanish Fly was a thing that was popular.

Like, everyone joked about Spanish. My parents always joked about it. I heard about it. Before I heard of the concept of Rufis, I knew what Spanish fly was. Like as a child, they're like, oh, it's this funny drug. You give the girls. Yeah. I had some Spanish fly.

This is the thing about back. Again, back in the day, you know, people were just like, yeah, it's a funny date rape drive. Wait, Marcus, are you saying that you took Spanish Fly or that you gave it to someone? I didn't give it to anyone. I had a little bottle. It's a joke. Oh, yeah? Did it get you trashed?

I bought it in a bathroom. in Ria Dosa, New Mexico. Sounds like this wasn't real Spanish fly. Sounds pretty real to me. I guess that's a thing. I could definitely go either way. You could either buy a Spanish fly, a condom, or a French tickler.

So did you take the Spanish fly? No, I just got it was a souvenir. Oh, so do you still have it? No, no, I don't know where it was. It's probably expired anyway. What's a French tickler? French tickler is a sex toy. It's like a little rubber apparatus

that you have little. little rubber spikes on it and you put it around your cock. Oh yeah, it's a cock ring but with little massagers. Yeah, little massages on. French tickler. Yeah, and it rams up in the old bean. Yeah, but what if I feel like it would get caught in there, right? It might.

And it's hairs, it's lips. It's possible. It depends on the individual. It depends on how hard you're ramming it. Yeah, yeah. I imagine you take it a little easy once you got that little guy on there. Yeah. It could also depend on how strong the, you know, clutches of your vagina are.

All right. That's crazy. How are your cagles, Jackie? Yeah, exactly. You know, you got to work on it, man. I'm doing them right now. As soon as somebody says the word cagel, everyone starts doing their caggars.

I have to. That's what Jackie tries to shove a keg of beer in her pussy. I wish, man. Then I'd have a great time all the time. I'd be a walking, fucking party with just the tube coming out of my fucking vagina. And I'm like, pump it. Why don't you fucking pump it for me?

Every time they pump it, I get off, they're drinking beer. That sounds great. Some people do a vodka-soaked tampon. Jackie does an entire keg functioning. Including the metal. I feel like the rust would help. And so what did Bill Cosby do?

Bill... Oh, man. It's coming out. It's just more shit every day. More women every single day. Lou Farigno's wife came out. The Bulls! That was in the... Lou Fregno's Prime.

He's trying to hit on his woman. Lou Ferdinil was the Hulk. He was the Hulk. He was the world's strongest man. This is before she got together with Lufarigno. Oh, okay. Pause me first, for Rigno second. But that story in particular, she was, but her story in particular, she's just like, oh, he tried to kiss me.

Yeah. Aggressively. Yeah, but that's like it. Aggressively. Aggressively. Give me a kid. I mean, the other stories are much worse than this one. Yeah.

I feel like this one isn't even important. But here's the. thing. I think if we're talking about generally speaking, a very powerful person being a sexual predator, like there can be a like spectrum of behavior, but now, yeah, I feel like now this thing is happening where people are like ranking each instance of abuse,

which, you know, it can be like different things, but I feel like what she's saying is still establishes like a pattern of him being a creep, right? She was also a teenager at the time. Ah, there's the hook. And she does admit, she says, I feel so bad for these women, I was the lucky

one in that he didn't harm me. It me emotionally all my life, but he didn't physically harm me. And he did something to rave in Simone, too. Well, no, she came out and said that that wasn't true. It was one of those, you know those stupid fucking sites that are popping up all the time now that are quote unquote satirical

where they just have straight up lies that could be true as headlines? I heard a theory that the Cosby camp is actually promoting those the ones that aren't true to make the whole thing seem like a big sham. Sure. They're like, oh look, it's all lies, except

for all of the ones that are definitely true. Yeah. And they're like spreading lies just to spread lies under different names and shit. What's interesting about this is like obviously it's all snowballing now and it's really having a lot of momentum but I mean these women have been making these allegations for decades, right? Like

a lot of this, I mean granted there's more people coming now but like this people, women have been trying to do this shit for years and everyone's like, mm-hmm, whatever. Yeah. In 2005 there was an out-of-court settlement. Yeah. Because of a bunch of women, Jane Does, they all called themselves. So what's the deal with that?

There was an out-of-court settlement, now that woman has come forward. So how does that work? Does she have to give back the money? I don't understand. Unless she signed some sort of gag order, unless she signed some sort of gag order or non-disclosure agreement. If she had done that, then she would not have been allowed to say anything legally. She would be held legally culpable for that. But since she's coming out now, then it seems like she didn't sign any such agreement. Yeah, they probably just paid them off. He did pay him off. And in fact, not only, I mean, speaking of paying people off, he had, there was an employee

at NBC whose job it was to pay off Cosby rape victims. Man, he used to have, I talked to a writer buddy of mine when I was in L.A. last week, and he was just talking about how he was friends with one of the Cosby writers, and he was just a fucking deviant on set. And everyone knew it. He had, like, plural hookers in his dressing room at all times. Like, fucking crazy shit. Like he was just like he was just a sexual fucking deviant.

Yeah. It's always the clean ones, man. Always. It's always the fucking clean guys. Never say anything bad about Sinbad. Sinbad will forever be the best. Okay, Simbad is the exception. He better fucking leave.

If something comes out about Sinbad down the line, I'm dead. I'm over, man. I'm pretty sure Sinbad did it how you're supposed to do it. You just fuck the groupies. Yeah, because he's great. I would fuck the shit out of Sinbad. That's the thing. Women are throwing themselves at Bill Cosby all the time and he still had to do this.

What a fucking demon? But then didn't it? What was the thing that... I remember, like, long ago hearing that the girl that played the oldest daughter in the Cosby show, the reason why she left was because he was so... Like, he didn't want her to do drugs. He didn't want her to be a slut. He was so on top of her about all of that stuff and keeping her morals. So does that mean...

Was he fucking her? Well, she had... Actually, her Twitter account has been suspended since, but she did tweet something about, you know, something. some sort of cryptic message about how what goes around comes around. Finally, these things are coming along, kind of hinting at the fact that he might have done something to her. But she might also just have been talking about,

like what the writer was talking about, how much of a fucking deviant he was on set. But he did many times publicly come out against her because she did like a nude photo shoot. She did a very open interview. Another interesting thing about her, she is married to Caldrogo of Game of Thrones. Damn.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah, get it. Man, so Bill Cosby, man, he would just tear Bill Cosby in the shreds. Oh, yeah, that was great. Immediately. But, yeah, who knows, I mean, the protection that man must have Bill Cosby. He's worth $850 million.

God damn. It's so much money. That's, like, that's crazy, like, to think about, like, because this is all, like, happening after Hannibal. Right. And so, like, to think that, like, Hannibal kind of took down an industry. It's fucking. It's just, like, from, and didn't even know he was doing it while he was doing it. Yeah, that was just, Hannibal was just performing a joke on stage.

It wasn't even like he like, you know, it wasn't even like something. When I watched the video, I expected it to be like an interview on like the news or something. I was like, oh, he's just doing a joke and it's a great joke. And I mean, it's amazing to see like, again, having these allegations have been around for years. And Hannibal's like, you know, again, great joke kind of like gets widely shared. And all of a sudden everyone's like, oh shit, we should be actually paying attention to this. It's really like powerful on Hannibal's part. It's pretty crazy how it all went down.

Yeah. And then NBC's trying to look all cool And Netflix is trying to look all cool about like Oh, we're dropping it. We know about it. It's like, you knew about it before. Yeah, you knew about it way before. You gave him his own TV show.

You knew. You're doing this because of the pressure, not because of your morals. Yeah, I hate that shit. They should just run the fucking show, man. I mean, I don't know. Is that right? I don't know.

We were talking about this with the seventh heaven thing, remember? Like, it's like, on the one hand, you probably do want to send a message that you don't endorse a child molester. On the other hand, you're fucking up everybody else

in the show's life by taking away their residuals. Yeah. There's no good answer there, I think. Nick at night, remove the Cosby show. Exactly.

It means the same exact thing of what happened when 7th Heaven when they pulled all 7th Evan and all, they lost all their residuals. The thing is, it's like, I didn't get to see Ghost Dad when it was on Netflix. And that's what I wanted to see.

I was waiting to see Ghost Dad. All this shit went down, Ghost Dad, not on Netflix anymore. Really? They even took Ghost Dad off. No more Ghost Dad. And I wanted to see it because I used to love that fucking movie.

And I know all. all this stuff, all the stuff, but I want to watch Ghost Dad. I don't know. So here's what I would say about the Cosby thing. Hey, hey, hey, hey, I don't think so. Like, you could name so many other celebrities who have these allegations, allegations against them. Oh, yeah. You haven't been in the spotlight like this.

Like, for example, is Netflix also pulling all of Roman Polanski's films? Doubt it, right? So, like, I feel like in that, you know, it's tough. The Cosby Show is an incredibly important show. It was wonderful. It, like, was kind of revolutionary for television. Not just that. He taught America how to raise a family.

Yeah, I mean, it was, it's, you know, and people, I feel like people have this debate, like, oh, do we stop liking Woody Allen films or do we stop liking Roman Polansky films? And, you know, people are coming down hard on Cosby, which they should. But I also feel like, you know, people are coming down harder on Cosby than maybe other people, like other people who have allegations against them, too. Yeah. Well, the thing with Cosby is he's a serial rapist. Right. It's not like this weird experience that can be debated, you know, this one time. It's fucking 17. Is that the number? 18? That's so crazy. Yeah. I mean, Roman Polanski, he hooked up with a, what, 16-year-old gymnast. She was 13. But she 13? Yeah, that's the only. That's the fact that it's, like, not ambit. That's the thing.

And he was still really fucked up over the Sharon Tate thing, all right? I feel like Roman Polanski is something that's not ambiguous. Eddie, he made Chinatown. I mean, I know what he did. It's like, I love his fucking movies. That's 13. Chinatown. Yeah.

13. Forget it, Eddie. It's not ambiguous. I mean, yeah. Well, you know, I mean, you want to get into it. Nicholson was fucking there. He didn't stop it. Yeah.

All sorts of be. I mean, listen, when we look at our heroes, they probably all have horrible, horrible things in their back. But there was no internet back then. There wasn't anything watching every one of their fucking moves. They were able to get away with a lot more shit. It's nuts. And if you're, I know, I don't want to say it. But if you're going to be able to get away with all the shit, why wouldn't you fucking do it?

If you have that mind, if that's something that you want to do. It's like, everyone loved me. So I'm just going to fucking do the shit. It was almost like, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I was just going to say that would be an argument for like, it's better that people don't think they can get away with shit like that anymore. Yeah, well, they can't. Yeah.

And it's great that all this stuff from the past has even blown up in their face. But Cosby, it almost seemed like, I read a bunch of this. I've been obsessed over this. It's almost like he was showing off that he was doing it. Because he would bring these girls and he would have them hang out in the corner at parties and he'd go socialize and he'd like, he'd like show people like this girl that he's with. and then everyone would leave, she'd still be there, he'd be like, take this, and she would take the drugs,

and then he'd bring her upstairs and fuck her. It's like he was showing off that he was doing it. It's just like it wasn't. Because he had impunity. Why shouldn't he, right? Like, he didn't even have to hide it. It's so crazy. And that's how he got caught.

And I mean, and like everyone knows that Bill Cosby loves pudding. Putting his dick inside of drugged women. Hey guys, pudding. It's a pudding joke. That was my favorite of all of them. I haven't heard that one. You haven't heard that one? You haven't heard that one?

You haven't been waiting to say it because it's my favorite one. Our friend, a good friend, Jason Kephart, texted it to me. He created himself and he, uh, I said that I would say it on the show. Oh, man, get that man some cash for that. That is a good joke. That's a headline artist. Into drugged women. It's a good joke.

Yeah. So what did he have? He had Jello, Kodak. God, man. These companies, too. They're all, Kodax doesn't matter. And no one gives a fuck about Jello.

Jello is there forever. Jello's not going fucking anywhere. What else did he do? Nike? Yeah, all those running shoes, right? He did that basketball campaign. That was talking to one of the other stories I got when I was in L.A. talking to these guys

was one of the guys' friends worked on the Cosby Mysteries. And this has got nothing to do with women, but he just kept improvising his lines. But like, it would only ruined the mystery because he couldn't remember his lines.

What do you mean Bill Cosby's mysteries? Do you not remember that show? No. For one season he was a detective

he had a detective miniseries it was a detective show 94 to 95. Ah, okay. And it was called the Cosby

mysteries and he would solve mysteries. And he was Bill Cosby solving mysteries. Yeah. Well, no,

he was retired police detective Guy Hanks. Guy Hanks. Great fucking name. He won $44 million. Guy Hanks.

He won $44 million in the lottery, so he decided to retire. But detectives Adam Sully and medical examiner John Chapman, played by Robert Stanton, asked him to consult on tough cases. So when the tough case comes around, they knock on Guy Hanks's door and say, hey, we need a little bit of help.

I love the plot of this show. I would like to bring it back. We need obviously a new lead Somebody besides That sounds He won the lottery And then became a detective That's great

Yeah yeah Do you know through 2015 He still has 80 stand-up shows planned And he's gonna do No one's really canceled them Like people are gonna see him even more Are you fucking kidding

He just did his show in Tampa To a standing ovation He is too old to fuck Began and ended With a standing ovation Yeah Why who are he?

I don't I'm so confused by the urge to be like, I will give this serial rapist a standing o'clock. Especially in Florida. They're just like, he got away with there. No, lock it.

Yeah, the first show was in the Bahamas, then he went to Tampa, and now Melbourne, I think is tonight. Well, because now there's nothing that they can do about it.

I mean, right? There's statute of limitations on rape cases. It varies. It varies from state to state. Yeah. And it also varies on the degree. But also without proof.

I believe. I think that date rape is, Molly, you might know some more about this. I believe date rape is like second degree rape. Really? I think so. Because you already said you were going on the date so you like the guy.

I think you got that, yes. You might be right, Marcus. If that is true, that is the worst thing I've ever. That's awful. I don't think that there should be degrees of rape. I don't know. I feel like a violent rape should go to jail longer. We're not even going down that road.

No, because violent rape implies that there is such a thing as rape that's non-violent. Yeah. Not possible. Well, I mean, if she's drugged. But it's still, and it's an act of violence upon somebody's body, which is why the phrase violent rape is problematic. It should all be called the same thing, but maybe the sentence is longer?

Well, you can, you can, yeah, right. Does that make sense? Like, he was hitting her. Yeah. Like, there's rape, but he was hitting her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was, like, she went on a date with him, but she didn't want to fuck him. That's the second rape.

Not second degree rape, just the second number, rape. Right. You can explain what to happen. But that's the thing. I think, again, ranking offenses when it comes down to violations. All right. So here's the difference between first and second degree rape. A date rape, yes, that is second degree rape.

A first degree rape is with a victim who is a child under the age of 13. Or with another person by force and against the will and employs a deadly or dangerous weapon or an article which the other person reasonably believes to be a dangerous or deadly weapon or inflicts serious personal injury upon the victim or another by one or more person. So, Molly, we can't go down this road. No, we can't. Molly, we can't go down this road. Just as a quick note, though, this is one of the problems with this.

Like, for example, we won't go down this road. You're going down the road. Okay. I just have one thing. Okay, what's one thing? The one thing. Ease on down the road. Please.

Ease on down the road. Okay, the one thing. is that, you know how there's a lot of laws right now trying to restrict a woman's right to have an abortion? All these politicians are trying to define, and there's a lot of places, people who are anti-choice say, well, exceptions for rape. And so now politicians are trying to say what counts as rape. And they're trying to define this thing as forcible rape, which again doesn't make any sense, because of course the word fucking rape means forcible.

But they're trying to say, oh, well, it only count, you should only have the right to have an abortion if this and such and such and such the circumstances. For example, there's a weapon, whatever. And again, I mean, the word means forced sexual contact, right? Sexual intercourse. So it doesn't make sense to have degrees of, like, how much is worse and how much is, because we're talking, it's like, we're talking about an act of violence. Yeah.

That's, you're giving me a look. No, no, I'm listening. Okay. No, I'm also singing, I'm singing, ease on down the road inside of my head. Ease on down, ease on down, ease on down. Roll. He's on there. It's a dirt road.

You can't go 60. You know, you're going to run a... No, that's messed up, Marcus. I did not realize that those were distinctions. Thank you for finding that. First degree. Second degree is if they are, let's see here, mentally defective,

mentally incapacitated, or physically helpless, and the person performing the act knows or should reasonably know the other person is mentally or physically helpless. So that's second degree. So are we going to... talk about like Kim Kardashian's ass now. I mean, Katie Perry

is going to be the next Super Bowl performer. Yay! No, don't yay at that. I kind of like her. I kind of like her. I enjoy it. Rock and roll, man. Should be rock and roll.

She can rock a little bit. Tom Petty was awesome. Bruce Springsteen was fucking incredible. But don't you remember when Beyonce was awesome? Beyonce was awesome. It was all right. I just don't think that she belongs in that Super Bowl halftime.

Katie Perry. She took the lights out. That selfish bitch. She took the... Don't you ever call her a selfish bitch in the room. She, you have got the power. She knew New Orleans couldn't handle all her Beyonceness. Although, side Beyonce, have you seen the new video, Molly?

I have not. Oh my God. Her dancing in her hotel room. Yes, I've seen it on Instagram a little bit. So good. Yeah. Katie Perry knows how to rock for a crowd, is what I'm saying. No, she doesn't.

She does. Maybe not rock. She'll look great, I'm sure. She will look great. I guess at least it's eye candy. Marcus, what are you laughing at? Carol Channing performed at two separate Super Bowl halftime shows. Oh, now who has to have it be rock and roll.

Yeah, but when was the? Super Bowl 4 in 1970 and Super Bowl 6 in 1972 with Ella Fitzgerald. Oh, wow. See, that's awesome. That's awesome. That's classic. Yeah, that's great. But the Super Bowl is not classy anymore.

It needs to be like, we're dudes. We're having America time. Yeah. And that's, I mean, if you're watching and you're into it, that's what you want. You know what it would be fucking great? Metallica. Metallica would be awesome. I bet you just perform at the Grammys, Marcus?

Yeah, they did. Metallica? Yeah, it was great. Yeah. They're awesome now. That was fine. They're cool again. It's great. They are cool.

Yeah, they had to wait about 15 years. And now everyone's like, oh, okay, that's fine. I feel like we talked about it on the show when they performed. Yeah. I feel like next up. is going to be like third eye blind. No, no one likes third eye blind. They'll get a playoff game, maybe.

Here's the thing. If we're talking about mass appeal, I'm going to go ahead and say that Katie Perry might be better for the crowd than Metallica. They don't need to attract viewers. It's the Super Bowl. Everyone's watching no matter one. In fact, they debated whether they should have performers

pay the Super Bowl to perform. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, in August, they actually fly. voted that idea. That's amazing. The only thing is I guess that they are really trying to push the halftime show for the women that have to, or the people that are not interested in football to watch, that are watching the game to watch a halftime show. But it's like, I love, you know, people that perform.

I love a good show. But I'm also usually smoking a cigarette during the fucking halftime show. Really? What about Prince? Remember that one? Prince. That was great. That was fucking awesome.

That was so good. Prince can come back. That would be good. Have you guys listened to the new albums? I haven't, but I heard it's really good. It's amazing. You've got to get on this. I've got to get on it.

I've been preaching. I can't believe it's not number one, the poor bastard. Yeah. I feel like people don't really trust Prince. Why? I think there's a lot of mistrust. Because they don't understand, like, is he, I think that really still is like the, like, is he gay? I don't think he's gay.

He's talking about fucking a lot. I don't understand. I feel like people don't understand the entity that is Prince. He is sex. I understand this. But when he became the symbol, everyone was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He became a joke. I mean, it was a joke then.

You know what I heard recently that Prince, like, tweeted something about how there should be more, like, black programmers, like, computers. He just, like, was just Prince and was, like, offhandedly, like, yeah, there should be more, like, black Mark Zuckerberg's. And in response, like, all these corporations and stuff, like, donated millions of dollars and made a whole, like, recruiting an organization. I need more blacks. But it's so cool to be like Prince can literally just say whatever the fuck is on his mind and it'll happen. That's how, that's

the cultural cachet that Prince has. He's just like, I want this. And everyone's like, we'll make it happen for you, Prince. Man, the original Batman is on Netflix right now. Oh, watch it. Which I haven't seen. I haven't seen it in a million years because I watch it like 100,000 times when I'm a kid

and I haven't seen it in a long time. And I watch it. And I never knew that all of the original music is done by Prince. Even the whole set of bat dance. I had no idea that it was because I saw that and I was like, no way. And it's so great.

Yeah. I highly recommend you watch it. Well, it works in with the interpretation of the Joker's, you know, psychopathic pop artist. It does. It works perfectly. I actually don't totally realize that. I love that movie. I love that movie.

Yeah, that's a great. You're my. Number one. God. God. Kim Basinger was so fucking hot Oh Lord Good God

I was watching it was just like I couldn't pay attention Whenever she was on the screen I was like man I put her in the running as like one of the hottest women ever I think so I think I might agree with that I mean whewf mama

The Getaway Oh wow Her and Alec Baldwin fucking show some stuff man I don't really want to watch Alec Baldwin Any stuff. Well, this is back when he was all tight. Yeah, you know. I've never cared for him in terms of hotness.

Yeah, hotness. No, no, no. Were you more of a Billy Baldwin? Never. I am not a fan of any of the Baldwins. Let's not get personal here. One of the Baldwin's is on parenthood for a bit, which I am currently watching, and that is fine. And he is not good on it and also not attractive.

I don't understand what the Baldwins. Which Baldwin? Billy. None of them are attractive except for Alec. Man, I love backdraft. Billy Baldwin. Yeah. That draft is great. The movie is fucking awesome.

No, who's fun? Danny Baldwin, the fat one? That's the fat one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the one that was in bio dough? He's the idiot. That's Stephen. That's Stephen.

Yeah, yeah. Steven's the idiot. Williams the hunk. You know, Alec Baldwin's the wild card. William, I'm not sure if I know what William looks like. They all look exactly the fucking same. Yeah, Billy Baldwin.

He was in Sliver. Remember Sliver? He is pretty hot in Parenthood, though. I will. I will. attractive, but they all have that, like, asshole face. Yes.

And you just can't trust an asshole. They look terrible. They're from Long Island. Oh, well, that does explain. That actually does explain that. It's time for the list. It's time for the list. Who's on the list?

Marcus, got to have that list. Yeah. Ain't no party like a page seven page seven page seven party. Don't stop. Yeah. I fucking love this. Today's list

Crazy Onset Hollywood Feuds The first one Jim Carrey and Tommy Lee Jones During Batman Forever Oh I bet that was hilarious Tommy Lee Jones is such a stick up his ass But he's a nice guy But he's the one that wins

Like he's the one that wins that fight Yeah I mean if they get to an actual fight Of course Yeah Gary happened to go to the same restaurant Where Jones was having dinner He went to say hi and quote, the blood drained from his face.

Kerry said, he got up kind of shaking and hugged me and said, I hate you. I really don't like you. I love Tommy Lee Jones. He's such a fucking scumption. You don't love this next line when Jim Carrey asked him like, what's wrong? What's up? Tommy Lee Jones said, I cannot sanction your buffoonery.

Yeah, man. Meanwhile, he's dressed up like two-face. He's scammed up. He got paid a lot of money to do that. He's like, I take myself very seriously. Man, that's great. I wonder why they hate each other so much. Tommy Lee Jones just came off the client,

and then he has to wear a two-face and, like, dance around with Jim Carrey. I bet he was furious. Yeah, Tommy Lee Jones does seem like a man who takes himself quite seriously, and I'll bet that being around Jim Carrey is kind of impossible anyway, much less if you're a very serious person.

But then you just pop in No Country for Old Men and you're just like, damn, what a good actor. Yeah. Man, I saw Dumb and Dumber 2 last night. What a pile of donkey shit. Really? It looks like they made it too. It's so desperate. It is so fucking desperate.

And it's self-referential, right? It's all like, this is a joke from Dumb and Dumber the first one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I mean, there were, I'd say there were about 10 times it got me. And I laughed really hard, and those 10 jokes are fucking amazing. But the rest of the movie is fucking dog shit. I feel like don't spend your money on it. Just watch Dumb and Dumber again.

Because I reasonably also rewatch that. And it, there are just some of it. There's some of it that's just so fucking funny. Yeah. So funny. What are you going to say, Molly? I was going to say I felt similarly about Anchorman 2 where I was like so disappointed, but I laughed probably not 10, but probably

five times like a good laugh. And the rest of the time I was like, I wish I was watching Anchorman 1. I went nuts for Anchorman 2. Yeah? You liked it? You should watch. There's an unrated. version. It's really funny you should watch.

I like it because it is just like you can't, I feel like you can't review that movie. You can't. I feel like I haven't seen it. I feel like the writers, I loved Anchorman One. I feel like the writers of Anchorman One got together with the script from Anchorman One with a bottle of whiskey and just were like

let's just edit it and make a new movie on it, the old script. And then by the time they got to the end they were fucking blind drunk and then they just submitted the script without editing it. Yeah, it's all right. But it has its I also feel like it had a great social commentary, Anchorman, too. It was very critical of the media.

Yeah, I thought that was really cool. It really targeted the 24-hour news cycle. It was pretty good. David O. Russell, during I-Heart Huckabees, yelled at Lily Tomlin. Really? A lot. Said Tomlin had been complaining about something,

and Russell threw everything off a desk screaming, fuck you, I'm just trying to fucking help you. You understand me? And then just go, I heard about this. You don't yell at Lily Tomlin. You do not yell at Lily. But didn't Lily Tomlin also have like a crazy rage bat? Huge rage problem.

Yeah. I think I think Lily Tomlin was a fucking nightmare to work with. Really? Yeah. I've heard that like she is just like, I mean really on edge. She's amazing though. I mean, aren't all the fucking best, funniest people really fucking crazy? Yeah.

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, she's just insane. You're a fucking psycho. I'm crazy But I take that as a compliment Because in my head You are paralleling me with Lily Tomlin Oh I've got audio from the rant

Oh my Lord Nolly Tomlin removed it Yeah Dahlia Tomlin incorporated Got to it first Man she was great on Eastbound and Down She was man I was listening to the Eastbound and Down

soundtrack today. It's the best. It's just the best. It's smoking, man. It's so good. That is just the show that is only fun to watch. Jody Hill is his name, I think? He's great. He also did Observe and Report. Oh, the guy that created it. Yeah, you know, Footfist's

way. Yes. You know, Danny McBride's old buddy. Would you find it? Yeah, I found it. Let's hear it. Fuck here. I'm just trying to fucking help you. Do you understand me? I'm being a fucking collaborator. I was trying to help you figure out. Here. You got a fucking picture.

Hey, bitch, I'm not here to be fucking yelled at. I worked on this fucking thing for three fucking years. Don't have some fucking cudd yell at me. Whoa. What I'm trying to fucking out you, bitch. Figure it out yourself. Whoa, damn it all. Why don't you bust your whole movie?

Because that's what you're doing. Yeah. She's right. The movie doesn't make sense to me. I personally, I don't like the movie. She sits back down and just starts working. Look at, she's all class. And she was totally saying,

reasonable actor shit. He wasn't explaining him so. And Jason Schwartzman doesn't move the entire time. He's just... And Dustin Hoffman just walks away, of course. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love the old Dustin Hoffman's story when he was working with Lawrence Olivier and Marathon Man, and he was jumping up and down and slapping himself in the face. Then Lawrence Olivier, he's like, what are you doing? He's like, I'm just getting ready for the scene. And he's like, oh, yeah, I just act. That's great.

That's great. That's fucking awesome. All right, let's do blind items. Yeah, we can't see him. This A-list celebrity and probably A-plused in her little corner of the entertainment world yelled at her wonderful daughter the other day because the daughter has not embraced plastic surgery at all, and the mother is a huge fan of it. Apparently, the mother also sets up the daughter with a minimum of two blind-dine.

dates a week that the daughter must attend. Melanie Griffith. No, singer. A-list. A-liss-less singer who's all tight, tight and really weird. Celine Dion. No, no. Blonde.

Disgusting woman. Jule. No. She's not disgusting. She has small hands and she's okay with it. A-plus list blonde pop singer who's been around forever. Madonna. Yes.

And her daughter and lords. Oh, man. That's her daughter? Yeah. Not Lordy, though. Lordy, is that her name? Lord. R-R-L-O-U-R-D-S.

Oh, yeah, Lordus. Lordess. Lordess? The Royals lady, Lord, that's not Madonna. Oh, that's a different one? Yeah. Oh, also Lordas is a place in France. I don't like any of it.

I don't know. It might be something else, but I do know that the royal singer, She's like New Zealand. Madonna's hilarious these days with all of her fucking guns on stage and stuff. She's insane, man. Our favorite adjective to discremed Donna at page 7 is ropy. Yeah. She is just, her body.

It's just, come on, man. I feel bad about describing all roby, but she is ropy. She is ropy. Super ropy woman. Not necessarily a bad attitude. Not necessarily. I would say perfect. Yeah, it's very perfect, though, yeah.

Media takeout.com. just got some very disturbing news from a usually reliable entertainment insider. They say allegedly that your Fave got a Xanax pill-popping addiction. According to our insider, our Fave

allegedly started taking Xanax bars to let loose every now and again. Then when she stopped smoking weed because she was worried it was damaging her throat, Xanax became her drug of choice. Now we're told it's becoming a habit. How bad of a habit? Well, we're told that your

Fave takes multiple bars a day. And the other day, she caused a very embarrassing public spectacle when she had a bad reaction when she took a couple of bars and drank some wine afterwards. We're told that folks next to her are thinking about staging and intervention before she embarrasses herself worse. Is she popular now? She is extremely popular now. She's our Fave. Your Fave! What are you talking to me or Jenny?

Both of us. Your faith, singer. No. Beyonce? Xanax addiction. No. I have video to prove it. No.

No. I won't watch it. I won't believe it. I want to see this shit. We actually watch this at the last podcast live show because it does have some indications that the mind control techniques that Illuminati leader J.C. is using on or are finally wearing out.

But the Xanax pills are probably. much more likely. How do we know she just didn't get too drunky? Take a look at this. She's hammered there. Yeah, she is absolutely hammered. Oh, man, she is so pilled out. She can't even hold her head straight. Yeah. Where is she in a basketball game? She's in a net's game. Yeah. This is like two weeks ago.

Man, she's trashed. Oh, my God. They don't even talk to each other. Look at this. Yeah, Jay-Z should be like, honey, are you okay? She has a lot to deal with. Yeah, you know, sometimes I look like that at the end of the night and I haven't even done anything. Right. And, you know, it's just that she's so popular. That's all. She hates basketball. Yeah. She's, well, yeah. You want me to like basketball? Zanex will make me like basketball. Yeah, I always look like this during basketball. That is a sad video, Marcus. Yeah, no, I hope that's not true. But also, if she wants to, you know, get a little crunk for fun, that's fine.

Yeah. I mean, honestly, if she's taking pills so she can enjoy a basketball game, I got no problem with that. I mean, I would. Yeah, sure. I know that in my. time, I've probably gone out in public looking a little intoxicated. Man, you should have seen me on the airplane yesterday. Everybody I had just swam back in the Yeah, I'm fine.

So, you know, Beyonce, if she can never go out looking a little drunky, then, you know. I don't know, man, that's... What kind of world are we living in it? Yeah, exactly. That's the internet age that's fucked up. That's pilled up right there. That's the...

So what if she is, though, like, you know, I don't think if it's, you know, that's the only video of it. The queen of pop shouldn't do that, though. What are you talking about? You know how hard it is to be the queen of pop? She needs to shut down everyone so long. That's why she had to be a fucking home doing that shit.

Yeah, don't go to the Z-1. Jay-Zee was like, we have to go to the basketball game tonight. And she was like, well, I already took Tuesdays. So I hope that's okay with you. I guess that's fine. Yeah, I think Beyonce gets a good solid pass on this one. As long as she doesn't have an addiction problem. Well, even if she does, who cares?

Yeah, I mean, right. She still perform. Molly, we care. We care is why I want her to be safe and healthy. If she was fucking all piled up when she did the MTV Awards recently when she did a little bit of every song from her album, she was peeled up there and that, she could do whatever she wants. That's true. She is on fire constantly.

That girl is on fire. And it's true, too. She's not performing. She's up there, hold her kids singing to it crying. That was beautiful. Yeah, it's her night off. Let her get all fucked up. Last one.

Which morning show TV host doesn't just manscape. He shaves everything, including his crotch. Matt Lauer. He has a great head of hair, but what no one knows is when he takes off the suit and tie, he is totally smooth everywhere. A close, very close inside tells naughty gossip he loves to shave. It turns him on. Former NFL player.

Strayhand. Michael Strayhand loves to shave himself ball. Is he on the Kelly? He's on Kelly and Michael. He can do whatever he fucking wants. Such an affable human being. I love that man. Gay.

No. Really? That's the rumor. No. Rumor that he's gay. When his wife left him, she was like, I'm leaving him because he's gay and I'm sick at being his beard. Oh, man.

When I watched that video, this blind ass became another blind dad. I would totally watch him fuck the shit out of another man. I went to Michael Strayhand football camp when I was a kid. Really? Was he there? Yeah, he was there. He taught me how to play football. It was a lot of fun.

How nice was he? He loved me. I was beating up all the kids, all the rich kids. I was doing good. Oh, my God. And he just looks like the nicest guy in the entire world. He was really nice. He was really cool. And he's so big.

And he worked with us extra. You know, he like afterwards, like when practice was over, he'd stick around and like fucking just talk to us about football and like growing up and, being a good person. He's a great human being. Well, that's the thing is that with his twin daughters, like, he is very, like, in with their lives. Like, he is very close to his twin daughters

and, like, loves them with all of his heart. Yeah. Sexy. Oh, yeah. Well, the divorce that he had in 2006, that comes from, she also tried saying that he was an adulter. Tried saying that he didn't love the kids. Tried saying that he was just using her as a beard,

but what actually happened is she withdrew $3.3 million from their bank accounts, tried to skip town. He said, fuck, no, we're not doing that. We're getting divorced. And so she goes in a court, tries saying that he beat her all the time. He says, no, of course I didn't fucking beat her. The judge said, I believe you, Michael Strayhan.

Get out of their former Miss Strayhan. And now Michael is one of Morning TV's most beloved hosts. That's amazing. Yeah, I love it. Success, Michael Strayhan. Yeah, because he has custody over the girls. Yeah. Of course he has custody.

Oh, my God. I want him to do. be my daddy and my lover. Not at the same time. Two different lives. Not unlike your relationship with Coach Eric Taylor. Yeah, well, I mean, knowing that we started. I'm fucking coach Eric Taylor, man.

Are you watching more Friday Night Lights? Oh, girl. I'm up to season five. Oh, my God. We haven't even been talking about this. I know. My whole life has changed. I know.

It's so good. Yeah. I may or may not have taken on more teaching jobs just because I want to be exactly like both Mr. and Mrs. Coach. They're both, they're just the best. You call them Mr. and Mrs. Coach? Yeah.

Does that not what I think is? She has her own name. Thank you very much. Tammy Taylor. It's adorable. Yes. But Mr. and Mrs. coach, I will also accept.

Oh, please. Oh. I just want to watch it again. That's all I want. You should. Every time I watch a different TV show, I'm just like, but it's not Friday Night Lights. Yeah.

You ever watched it, Eddie? Front Night Lights? Mm-hmm. Don't care. It's teaching me about football. I know about football now. That's nice. I like that.

I like that. the movie, I didn't like it at all. No, they're nothing to do with it. Movies garbage. Movie was pretty bad. Yes, absolutely garbage. The book's amazing. Varsity Blues is better than that movie.

Well, yeah, we're not talking about the movie. Go back to the movie. What was the last time you watched varsity blues? I mean, it's a bad movie. It's, I watched it recently. It's, my God, it's offensively bad. Yeah, yeah. It's horribly bad.

Tweeter's a lot of fun. Twitter is a serial rapist. Is that the fat one? No, Twitter's the serial rapist. Wait, is that? No, that's a different. There's a different movie with Jessica Beal, and it's all about baseball guys, and there was a really hot one that liked to fuck fat girls,

and that's what gave me the knowledge that, like, one day I would get late. It's that movie called. Jessica Beale was about baseball. Don't worry about it. It was a bad movie. I know that. For love of the game. Summer catch.

Summer catch. God, I never even heard. I'm guessing that Jessica Beale played a girl named Summer. You, I don't remember. All I remember is that the hot guy liked to fuck Big Fat Girls. Freddy Prince Jr. You know what's... No, it wasn't Freddy

Prince Jr. It was the other... Jessica Biel played a character named Tenly Parrish. There you go. I think she was the preacher's daughter and it was like something about... Oh yeah, her last name is parents. Yeah, there's something about like the baseball team would come into town in the summer and... Matthew Lillard, are you thinking?

about Matthew Lillard? I think that he's a hot guy. I like him. You like skaters, though. Yeah, I like... Strung out. Yeah, yeah, drug addict. What's the other guy from...

She likes Jamie Kennedy. She thinks Jamie Kennedy is hot. I used to. I was in sixth grade. I thought he was hot when I was a sixth grade. He's such a buffoon. I know, but he was skinny and strung out. He was my type.

All right, well, I guess I mean, at that point, that's it for the rest of our fucking show. Thank you guys. for tuning in. Happy fucking Thanksgiving. I hope you watch all of your fucking movies that you're supposed to touch and planes, trains and automobiles. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Nuffalo.

I'm Marcus Parks. And thank you so much, Ed, for being with us. It was great to get all my Bill Cosby aggression off my chest. We needed to talk about it. Specifically when we had said to come on, he's like, can we talk about Bill Cosby? I guess. I haven't had the chance to talk about it yet.

I'm glad that you got it off your chest. Thank you. I needed it. I've been talking about it all week, and nothing's been put on record. You've got to get it out, man. I needed it. Thank you. You guys release. I love your show. It's so wonderful to be here. Get out of here.

Have a great fucking turkey day, you bitches.