Page 7 - Episode 106: Worst Dressed

Episode Date: May 10, 2015

It's Golden Globes time as we talk trash on the worst, praise on the best, and just who turned around to look at their lover rather than their partner when an award was one. The answer may shock you! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Page 7 is brought to you by audible.com. Go to audible trial.com slash page 7 for your free trial. I have this very strong whiskey coke in front of me, though. I think this is going to do it. Did God make you like this? I think God made me like this. Liquor makes me the way I usually am. All right, man.

I guess we're bumping into this fucking Golden Globes style, baby. I got my fucking gloves. I got my most sucking on my fucking gloves. My name is Jackie's Brosekey. It was my enough. Oh, Marcus Parks. No globes. No.

No? Oh, we didn't get any of them. I thought we were getting globes this year. You got globes? Can't you... Aren't ball gloves? Y'all all right, yeah. Actually, I've got probably more globes than you ladies got.

A lot of globes style. I guess the globe shape hanging. Ain't about how big your globes are. It's about how you wear them. That's true. And how many you have. Yes, the Golden Globes were on Sunday. I guess there were some upsets.

Yeah, I guess I haven't seen a lot of what's going on. That's how I feel about every one show. I'm behind. I have to see transparent. Yes, I've heard very good things. And you're definitely going to love it because it's got all that, you know, goop in it, that real-life goop. Real-life goop is my favorite kind of hoop.

I'm not talking Gwenny. I'm not like Gwen Paltrow fucking goop. I'm talking real-life goop. Just the real shit goop. And I love Jeffrey Tambor. Me too. He's absolutely amazing. And I hear, I mean, the dresses were amazing.

Oh my God, those dresses. A lot of J-Lo style. Because J-Lo's own thing was a self-reference to J-Lo from years ago. Her dress was like a reference to an earlier J-Lo dress. I love it. I think it looks great on her. She looks better now than she did when she was Jenny on the block. She does.

You don't think so? Maybe that better. but as good. I thought her tits look weird. Really? It's because she had a microphone wire sticking into one of them and so there was like a dented

in her perfect otherwise perfect breast. I love the cape thing though because it made me think of Solange's wedding dress. Sorry I should have joined you on that line. Yeah, I'm very upset. I'm very upset you didn't yell with me about that.

But there was a lot of boobs out which I appreciate I guess. I don't know how they make them stand up like that when you're not wearing anything beneath them. They got those petals. Like a side. They got the copies. Yeah, they got side pushies.

I can't imagine. I see them, like I know that you can buy them that are like little like nippy holder pushy sides. I can't even imagine that on my breast. I would be like that wouldn't do anything for me. I'd need a lot more. It's like can you grab? It's like, you know,

with fat girls, you got to take the side fat and push it into your cups so it makes your breasts look bigger. And I don't think those petals can do that, which is why Melissa McCarthy was not wearing them. Petals. You know what I mean?

Weight-bearing petals. They look like fingers. It's like Japanese men and trains, you know, where they just push them together. Yeah, but it has to be somebody where the only ounce of fat in their entire body is all contained in their tiny perfect boobs. Like Jessica, Chesdain.

Did you see her got... I don't know one person that wouldn't want to jump into bed with Jessica Chastain. Wait, who is she? God. She is Zero Dark 30. Redhead.

Redhead. Like, gorgeous woman. And you have to see... I mean, he's such a flattering dress. She apparently, according to people, won best cleavage, which I'll give it to her. Because her cleavage wasn't that out.

But it was like, it was all the way down to her navel. Yeah. But the way the dress was tailored, it just made her look like the most voluptuous figure 8 shaped woman I've ever seen. That sounds nice. Marcus, did you find the dress?

She's, God damn. No, that's not it. Marcus. I stared at the dress for half an hour last year. That was last year. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah. You can't see her hips. Yeah. Look at how it, like, the sparkles just, like, accentuate her beautiful hips. I like that. I like that. It kind of looks like a butt-hole. How dare you?

How dare you say anything negative It's fantastic. It's great and everything, but you got to admit The way it kind of starts in the middle And then there's the lines that come out on it. No, it's like a starburst. Or butthole. I mean, come on. What do you mean you call a butthole?

Starfish. Yeah, but I'd fuck that butthole. Just got to cut a little hole in the center. Just get right in it, man. That would be your belly button. Who is this Conchita worst? Oh, she's great. you won Eurovision.

Eurovision being the super weird European original song contest. No. No. We should listen to Wolves of the Sea, which was one of the winning Eurovision songs. It sounds like the boring part of the Golden Globes that no one pays attention to.

It's separate from the Golden Globes. Oh, okay. It's like American Idol for Europe. Yeah, it's weird. So each European country sends a representative. And Conchita Verst is, I think, Austrian, and she won. She's a drag queen who has a big full beard,

and she won Eurovision this year, and she's like America's new favorite drag queen, even though she's Austrian. Austria's new favorite drag queen. Who was our old favorite drag queen? Eddie Isard? But, see, that's England. And he's kind of gotten...

RuPaul! Yeah, RuPaul. Yeah, RuPaul. Boy, she held that crown for quite a while. And to be fair, she might still be holding it because she's doing very well for herself. Yeah, RuPaul's pretty fucking great. But Conchita's on the up and up.

I'm not saying she's coming for RuPaul, but I am saying she's fantastic. And she did look great. She had a long dress and her full beard. Ooh, we. All right. I've got to the worst dress list. Oh, no.

Pantsuit? You talking about pantsuit? Everyone says, who was it? Who was wearing a pantsuit? E birdman. Emma Stone. She looked fantastic. Yeah, I like it.

I just hate how much pretty, She is. I know. She can be so pretty in a pants suit. Yeah. Here's a picture of her. Here's her in the pants suit

with the golden diamond top, the tube top. I mean, she ain't no dying. That's so you fucking what. No, I mean, she ain't no dying.

I mean, come on. That pantsuits, it's played. It's played out. Yeah. And she looks good. Oh,

it's true. She's so, she's hot in a way that makes me angry. She is. Few women still arise those, like, really jealous,

angry feelings. Yeah, because just a chest-in, like, I keep, up on a pedestal. Like, she is far away from me. I think it's because she's also so close to our age.

And like, man, I could be an angry teenage slut. Opposite of Edward Norton. Like, give me a fucking shot. Yeah. Man, Edward Norton's so fucking hot in that movie. Anyway. Everyone's great in that movie. We're just talking about how Edward Norton is getting more attractive as he gets older.

He's been hot. I'd say so. He's been hot. American History X. Yeah. Bamb. I know. Uncomfortable.

It is uncomfortable. It is deeply uncomfortable. Nazi hot. Yeah, it is, I mean, wow. He was bringing Skinhead back for a while. But now, it's just like,

now he's like, like, sad dad hot. Yeah. Like, ooh, like, I'm the teenager from, like, my, my best friend's dad just got a divorce and, like, he's sad. What do you think about him in Fight Club?

Hot. Hatter than Brad Pitt. He's hotter than Brad Pitt. He is hotter than Brad Pitt. but I still don't think he was a boy then. You watch it and he's too young. He went from sad boy to sad dad. I love sad dad.

So sexy. Do you see the Hulk? No. Nah. He's good, right? He's a good. He was a pretty good Bruce Banner. I saw, I liked Mark Ruffalo.

Yeah, he had Mark Ruffalo is a much better Bruce Banner. And both of them are better than Eric Banneth. That is true. That was rough. How many times do they have to make that fucking movie? Three. And hopefully no more. Well, I guess I got no problem with more holes.

I don't care. You know, he's big and he gets mad. Gras. Yeah, that's me too on the inside. Let's go through. Let's look. Let's just, I'm going to turn around, and we're going to look at some of the worst dress and see if we can maybe describe these a little bit.

There's this woman Tiziana Roka. Who is that? She's a publicist. Who cares? She's got like a tutu sewn onto her prom dress from the 90s. It's bad. It's really, really, really bad. Yep.

Google Tiziana Roka. It is horrendous. It's really bad. Jennifer Aniston, they say that Jennifer Aniston didn't look bad per se, just that she looks plain and always wears the same thing. I feel like that's, that is the 20-plus year criticism of Jennifer Aniston. Like, too plain. It's just a black dress.

What is it? What else was like, I don't think that should be on the worst dress list. Yeah, she's fine. Poor Jennifer Anderson can't got a fucking break. No matter what she does, people just want to hate. Well, her new movie, cake, a lot of people are saying that it's a definite, I guess award grab that it doesn't actually deserve

the awards but because she plays someone little cuckoo nuts they give her the award or at least she gets nominated for the award although apparently she's never going to beat Julianne more so she may as well just get over it which I didn't even know about this fucking movie now I can't wait to fucking see it what is it called

again? Still Alice Still Alice is that what she wanted for? It is a woman with on set Alzheimer's and she plays like a woman that starts to forget and goes into early set Alzheimer's. That's what she won her award for this time.

Golden Globe for and that apparently that's what I mean, hopefully. She's supposed to be fucking, and I love Julianne. I've been waiting for this comeback, baby. Yeah, she was great. Oh my God, she's so beautiful. I want her hair. I know. I want her face when I'm older. Yeah, never going to have it.

Not that you're never going to have it, I'm never going to happen. I don't think I'll have it. I saw her on the street once. No. Stunning woman. I bet. So she was out walking her dog. just being a regular lady and I saw her and I looked at her and I looked at me and I just kind of like

and she smiled. She's like super nice. Just like, yeah, I'm Julia Moore. Thank you for not bothering me. Goodbye. Man, I feel like she's one of those people that you see often without makeup on that people don't make fun of her without makeup on. Yeah. Which is difficult in the celebrity world.

And she's pretty old at this point too. It's like her and like Helen Mirren. that no matter, if they have no makeup on, it doesn't matter, they're still stunning older women. That's why I like Julianne Moore, because she makes getting old look fantastic. She's like, hey, it'll be okay. You'll still get casting great roles and people will still think you're beautiful. Well, it's the same with Jessica Lang, but we won't even go down that road. Yeah.

Yeah, Julia Moore. 54. Still going strong. Still going strong. This is a side note outside of Best Dressed. How do we feel about J. Law? and Bradley Cooper again in another movie that they're trying to do like the old school Hollywood

Like a team? Of teaming them up that they're doing a new movie It's called like Serena or some kind of fucking bullshit Like doing a whole Hepburn Tracy thing Yes and they're doing it's like in a period piece Where it's like oh she's a dame and he's bad to her And it's like all right I mean I guess I wouldn't watch it anyway

No fucking I'm not gonna lie about it I'm not gonna watch it But I think they're really trying to revive this pairing of people. I like that idea of reviving teams. I don't I think that, you know, I don't think that Jay La and Bradley Cooper are any sort of Tracy Hepburn thing.

No. But, you know, I like the idea of having some teams back. You know, there were so many good teams back then. Yeah, but they had good teams. Yeah. Find some good teams. Right. Don't make it. Don't sell us a B team and call, you know, try to convince us it's an A team. I mean, give me

another Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You know, I'll take it. Yeah. It's true. They're a good team. They are a good team. They're a team. They're a team. They are a team.

Yeah. And then there's like, I feel like there's like the Rogan Franco team. Yeah, but that's, those are, those are men teams. Men teams. I'm talking, like, romantic teams. I see. Um, are there other romantic teams right now? There's got to be other ones out there.

Yeah. I, I like the idea, but I'm, I'm not sold that J-Lo and Bradley Cooper are the ones. Although I don't have a big problem with either of them. Don't we like them in Silver Landing's playbook, which I still haven't seen? You should see it. I typed in romantic teams to Google. And the first thing that comes up is breaking free, a military romantic suspense novel. It's the SEAL Team Heartbreakers Book 1.

Ooh, I'm interested in that. When Lieutenant Adam Hawke Yazzie rescues Inson, Brett, Cutter, Weaver during a mission in Iraq, His faith in his team's loyalty is shaken. Someone in the team attacked Cutter and left him for dead. But who? Zoe Weaver races to her brother, Brent, bedside. Everyone's name is Zoe. Every girl character's name is Zoe.

By the way, Deschano, knocked up. But let's continue. He stood by her while she fought her way back from a devastating injury, and she's determined to do the same for him, though drawn to Hawke's good looks and steady strength. He's a soldier. She's reluctant to get involved with a man in uniform. But with Brett lying in a coma,

Hawke may prove the key to what happened to her brother. Hawk is torn between loyalty to his men and his need to see justice done. When he tries to save a troubled teammate's career, he unwittingly puts Zoe's life in danger. Can he lead the rest of the team in a rescue operation to save her? He has to save her! Or will one of Hawk's brothers in arms destroy the woman he loved? Oh no! I love the idea of a SEAL Team 6 book club where they read like mostly military action books

And then every so often a romance. That sounds sexy. Lieutenant Hawk, Yazzie, eyed the edge of what had once been the outer wall of a building, bounced above him. Sweat trickled across his shoulder blade down his side. Don't you dare read this anymore. Good sex scenes in that book. Man, it's like if I could just have sex with a wounded soldier that was in a hospital,

that I knew that I was going to be his last time. You know, like I had to make this really good for him. Wouldn't that be awesome? You know, I think we should all really strive for this. Metaphorically or literal? No, literally. Like, like a thousand percent literal. I think that Doug would be fine with it.

I'll be like, it's his last time. You know, he's never going to feel the embrace of a woman again and he's got no legs. This should be one of our expected patriotic duties. Yeah, yeah, that women give it up for at least one soldier that's wounded. So you do that at 18. Like once you turn 18, you have to go through the wounded soldier pipeline. You had to go find one. Oh, you have to go find one.

You're not assigned. There's not like a government program. See, I don't think that's fair because I think if a woman had to go find one, you'd have a lot of, like, good... Draft Dodgers. Well, just like dudes, first of all, draft Dodgers, but a lot of women going for, you know, he's a good look, still a good looking dude, but he's just missing half a leg.

No one's going for burn victim Charlie. That is true. Yeah, but he probably does not. of the difference. You know, he's in a coma. Or you go for the one that like, you know, really, you get the, like, the ugly girl that no one wants to sleep with.

Like, his eyes are probably melted shut. So you give her that one, and then it's fine. So, there you go. There's something for everyone out there. Write a letter. To the government. Proposing that. Dear government. Have I got a department for you?

Dear Dick. Tater and Cheat. Yeah, dick. Dictator. Good reviews, this breaking free. I'll read it. Yeah, it's got 71, 5-star reviews, only two one-star reviews. Whoa.

Yes, the one of them said, the suspense kept you guessing to the very end of the book. Another said, I really enjoyed this series, but one thing I noticed was that the author introduces certain scenarios that are never explained in the book, and I was left hanging. Oh, my God. I love book comments. They're so funny. They're just like, I didn't find this to be realistic. Three out of five stars, yeah. Oh, another one says the first half was okay, and then it just got painful to read.

I bet, man, his woman was in danger, and he had to go and save her. Well, the main characters asked too many questions. Oh, gotcha. That is, you know. Everyone's a book reviewer. Seal Team 6. Well, back to the West Dress. Worst!

Worst! Worst. Worst dress list. Claire Danes, she didn't look too good. Kind of dressed a little grandma. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little frumpy.

I don't know. It's no like... It looks like her aunt made it for her. It's no swan outfit, you know? No, it's not. Did she do a swan before? No, what was her name? Bjork.

Bjorke did the swan, yeah. I enjoyed the swan. I had no problem with the swan. It was fine. That one's fine. These are all fine. These are fine. Oh, Patricia Arquette has a poo-fon.

her shoulder. Yeah, it's a little poof. Yeah, it's the big bow. She's got a big bow on her shoulder. I don't think she needs to have a big bow. She doesn't, but I think that if you're a woman in your 50s of the golden globes, you're allowed to dress however you want. That is true. But big bow, everyone does the big bow. No one likes the big bow. Everyone hates the big bow. Every time there's a big bow, there's always... Everyone's like, get rid of that bow. Why you got that bow? What's up with a bow? That's, yeah, these are a lot of weird shaping going on with these dresses. Yeah.

Kelly Osborne, she's looking a little weird. It's just that... Oh, apparently she's back on the heroin. No. So they're reading the blind items. No, that's no good. Uh-uh. I see it constantly this, um, the new purple gray hair.

Yeah. I guess I just don't really, like, I do, I love it. It just depends on the person. Like, some people completely look fucking amazing. Yeah, yep. But there are some people that just, It's just like, that just doesn't look good. Like, you just look like an old woman, i.e. Kelly Osborne.

Yeah, yeah. She looks like an old person with it rather than a young person. It is a trend, though, isn't it? The purple blue hair. I mean, the purple gray hair. Yeah, and then it goes from purple into gray. What's going on with that? I don't know.

I have no idea. I've seen people in real life who look great. It's more like celebrities who do it, and I'm like, mm-hmm. Especially like in that kind of dress, when you're wearing this huge evening ground, and then you have a purple gray mohawk. Yeah. Yeah.

Put a hat on it. You know? Well, I know you didn't want to mention the show at all, but one of the girls from girls looks a little bit like a paper doll with a paper dress picture. It does look like a fucking paper dress on it. Is that the one with the eyebrows? Yeah, it's the one with the eyebrows.

That's, yeah, David Mamet's dollar. Yeah. Is everyone on that show with somebody's daughter? Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, they fucking are. Every single one of them.

Why do you think it's still on the fucking air? It's still getting great fucking reviews. Yeah, and why do you think everyone hates it so fucking much and why it's a representation of a lot of things that are wrong, not only with Brooklyn, but America and generally. Yeah. Jesus Christ! It represents a lot of problems in America.

They hate that show! It's, as you would say, Molly, it's problematic. It is. It is problematic for all of us. I remain blissfully ignorant of the entire conversation all. although I have caught some tangential eating ass from the day the internet today. It's not even how you eat an ass. It is not how you eat an ass.

No one, and she's standing at the sink. This is just not how you eat an ass. No, you don't stand up and go at like a 45 degree angle to get your ass easy. It's just not the right way to do it. No, it's not. There are many ways to eat an ass. And it's like, you know what? That's the worst way.

And you know what? Tina Faye and Amy Poehler were on, those are the girls I want to fucking. watch. Those are girls I were watching on goddamn Sunday night. I thought they did a great job and I also thought that the bit with Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda was breathtaking. I thought that they were great. I think that they do a great job.

I like that they are a little bit edgy as edgy as they are able to be. Yes, in that context. But they were. They were quite edgy for that context, I think. Yeah. How cute Jessica Chastain was when they made some awful Bill Cosby joke and like they cut to Jessica Chastain

and her hand was over her mouth like, oh my God, but obviously he thought the joke was funny, and she looked so cute, what you didda. You really got a big boner for Jessica. I do. She's beautiful, and she's also very talented.

She looks so serious. She does look very serious. You want to go through some of the nominations and winners? Sure. I mean, I know we didn't see a whole lot of them, but we might have seen a couple. Yeah. You guys watching

the New American Horror Story, The Freak Show? No, I didn't watch that either. I gave up in Coven. Downton Abbey? No, I don't like British things. Okay. Here is what really

fucking caught in my crawl. Uh-oh. There's what really got me. True Detective snubs all around. Yeah. Not a single fucking win for true detective.

They did get snubbed, didn't they? They got completely snubbed. They gave Best Actor in a miniseries. Billy Bob Thornton for Fargo. Apparently I've got to watch this Fargo. It's supposed to be very good. It's right up my alley. I don't understand it.

Is it about the movie? I think it's loosely based on the movie. I think it's like the same area and it's the same sort of like crime mystery type thing with William H. Macy type character. As far as I know, it's supposed to be fantastic, but I don't see how it could be better than true detective.

I don't think anything is better than true detective. Nothing is better than true detective. Nothing at all. and both Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson were passed over for Billy Bob Thornton. And then Bestieie at miniseries Fargo won, again, over True Detective. What was it that Matthew McConaughey won all those awards at recently? Was that the Oscars? Yeah, that was for Dallas Buyers Club.

He gave that speech about how he's his own hero. Yeah, and it was very inspiring, and I loved it. I know he did. I remember. Everyone was making fun of him for it. I thought he made a very good point about self-esteem. And I guess looking towards the future. I thought it was a great point.

I loved it. So that was, I was just going to... It made sense to me. Made sense to Jackie, too. I love him. I was just going to posit, maybe the award, you know, gods slash powerful people thought that we had heard enough of Matthew McConaughey last year. So let's... Yeah, Billy Bob Thornton had Monsters ball, all right?

I don't think he deserved it then. No. And I bet he didn't deserve it now. I bet he didn't. No, I'm not rooting for Billy McDon't. Bob Thornton, don't you worry about that? No one's ever rooting for Billy Bob Thornton. You ever heard any of his music?

Oh, no. It's awful. It's awful. It's absolutely awful. I'm going to take your word for that. For it. Best TV series, music, or comedy? There was Orange's the New Black. Girls.

Jane the Virgin. Transparent in Silicon Valley. Transparent one. Silicon Valley is fucking amazing. It is amazing. It's fucking great. I don't want to talk against Transparent. because I feel like transparency is probably really great

and we just haven't seen it yet. I just haven't seen it yet yet. It's on Amazon. I'm not going to watch it. I've seen a lot of people who I trust say that it is excellent, but I have not seen it yet either. I have not seen any of those shows. Is that right?

Silicon Valley is really is a lot of fun. Oh, that's the one with Kumil and Thomas Middle Dead. Okay, all right. It's one of the funniest shows I've seen in years. Okay. And it's really well written. It's really well-paced. Good story, great characters.

Amazing jokes. And Martin Star from Freaks and Geeks. Yeah, okay. Well, those guys are all great. Before I watched it, I was just like, eh, computers, I don't care. I don't know anything about it. It has nothing to do with it. It's great. I mean, it does, but not at all. Yeah, no, I'm sure that it's wonderful.

And Jeffrey Tamble also won for Transparent. Which I just love him in general. Yeah, he's wonderful. Whether he's fucking great in this show or not, I don't care. I love him. He's wonderful. And his speech was very nice, and the creator of Transparent they gave nice, you know, they actually were

like shoutouts to transgender people, which is sometimes there will be like an issue movie, and then the people who give the speech are like, all about me and don't shout out the issue. So it's nice when, you know, you're like, I care about this issue. Wait, so wait, these are all considered mini-series?

Is that we said? No, that's, we moved on a television show. Comedy or musical television show. So I think that's interesting. Do you think that they're going to create a new category for online, like things that are on Netflix, like transparent is

No, it's all the same because Ricky Jervase is also nominated for Derek which is a Netflix show. Okay. And the House of Cards was nominated. Yeah, and won. Kevin Spacey won for Best Actor on that. So then how is there any hope for normal television shows?

There is none. No, none. Interesting. I haven't thought about that. I hadn't thought about that either but yeah, the landscape of what TV is is obviously rapidly changing. Because also everything that's on TV is shit. Right. All of the good stuff is online. Right. I mean There was some regular TV stuff.

Like James Spader was nominated for Best Actor for the Blacklist. Juliana Marguiles for The Good Wife. That's also on network. Is that still on? Still on. They say it's good? Isn't it just her sex? I think so.

I think it's just her having like dark lipstick on. Man, all right. I watched an episode. There's a show that I keep watching. I think it's on Hulu or something that like there's a show called mistresses. That is about women. that fuck men that are married and it is

the worst show I've ever seen it is a fictional show it's not reality show it's really it is the worst garbage I've ever seen and I loved it I watched it after sister wives so I liked going from purity to you know this only sex

and like everything is just like you shouldn't and she's like I know I'm so bad and then she like fucks like a doctor in like a waiting room and that's all of it It's just like I know Let's have another married teenie

Are there famous people in it? No There's what the Asian girl from Lost And like some They're all big lip tors So I've never seen him in anything else I'm just like hot young men

You know what I've got a bit of a bone to pick with the next category. Another bone. Best original song. Oh, yeah. So you got, you know, a song from Big Eyes,

the one from Selma that I think John Legend did. And common. Yeah, in common. Yeah, one from Noah, one from Annie, one from the Hunger Games. Not even nominated.

Everything is awesome. The Lego movie. Really? It should have been nominated. And you know why? I don't think it was nominated? Here's who I blame. Those lonely island motherfuckers

because they completely took a shit right in the middle of that song. Because the course. Because the chorus is great. Like, everything is awesome. Everything is cool. You're part of a team.

That's great. Fantastic. And then the verse is the lonely island guys rapping, and they are terrible at everything. Really? Yeah, it just completely takes a dump in the middle of the song, and that's why I think it got snubbed. Wait, are these movies, or is this just...

Movies. Golden Globes is movies and TV. Okay. Yeah. And the Lego movie got totally snubbed for Best Animated Film. It should have won. Although I haven't seen how to train your dragon. But the Lego movie was fucking brilliant.

Yeah. Lego movie is amazing. It means people that don't like that kind of stuff like it, I.E. Me. Yeah. It should have won best animated feature. I can't believe it didn't win. I know. That was one of the, I think, biggest errors of the night.

And I just watched that for the first time a few nights ago. I know. It's fantastic. Loved it. It's so fucking much. So good. Can't believe it didn't win. Yeah.

It just makes me mad. Man, you have to, and if you haven't seen the Lego movie, please do yourself a favor. I was forced to watch the Lego movie. I was like, I don't care. And then I watched it, and I smiled for the rest of the nights. Yeah, it's true. I look forward to a day when I will watch it again. And there's very few movies I say that about.

Yeah, it is, I feel the exact same way. And there's a couple of animated films that are obviously great, but I'm not one who wants to sit down watching an animated film just because it's popular or anything. And I was like, oh. And then I saw a Lego movie and I was like, this is smart as hell. It is hilarious. It's actually quite emotionally honest and, like, resonant.

It has a kind of amazing political message to it. It is just knocking it out of the park on all counts. I love it. And it's funny. It's so funny. It's very funny. The Batman song. My Barrett's died.

Making Being rich Makes it a little better You know a movie's not going to be good Just bringing up movies of this year The new J-Lo movie I want to call I keep seeing the commercials for it

The commercial The trailers for it are awful It's like what Why is she still allowed to make movies After Made in Manhattan The boy next door The boy next door Yeah

It looks I mean I'm gonna go see it with a bottle of whiskey you know like probably by myself middle of the day I'm gonna get hammered and I'm gonna laugh through the entire movie yeah and then I'm gonna go home and watch enough which you know that's just like a normal

thing I do and probably watch Maine Manhattan so that I could get my Matthew McConae fix all the same time have a good J-Lo day and then at the end of it I'm gonna cry for human beings so are you gonna be including Selena in that day oh my God which is I mean that is one of the best

movies. That is the only good thing she's done. Yeah, that's a great movie. Remember she's doing the washing machine? Yeah, I remember. I've seen Selena in the last year. It used to be on AMC all the time. I've seen it 100,000 times. But who

is that sexy white, I think, but plays a Latino man? The one with the long hair that she falls in love with that he kind of talks like this. And I done that. No, why? It's like Christian Bale's Batman with a fake bad Mexican accent.

He's a white man potentially faking an accent? I think so, and he's really long hair. I mean, sexy, because at that time, at the age I was at when I thought Selena was the greatest, and I was just like, yeah, I'll take him if I have to. It was nuts when she died. Man. Because I grew up in Texas. Oh, I bet.

Oh, my God. People stayed home from school. She honestly was even prettier than Salina was in real life. Yeah, Selena herself was... Was not as attractive as like... Man, J-Lo was gorgeous in that movie. Selina was made, what, like, 1990 or something? 96.

96. Yeah. No, I mean, Selena herself was pretty fucking hot. She's different, yeah. Yeah, J-Lo was a little... Yeah, it's a different... Her father's like, you're going to go on stage. You're wearing a bra!

Daddy, it's a... Boastier. It's a Boisie. It's a bro. Thank you, Mr. Almost. You guys saw Boyhood, right? I haven't seen it yet. Oh, my God. I haven't seen it yet. I've heard such mixed reviews of the extreme.

You will love it. You, I know, will love it, Jackie. Miley, you'll probably love it. But Jackie, I know you will love it. I do want to see it. All right. You know my taste. I do like the premise. I know what moves you.

Oh, no. Oh, no. I like the premise of, you know, having the people grow up throughout it. I've heard it was just really boring. But I've also heard it's the best movie of all time. Okay, so let me guess. Ed told you it was boring.

Adam told you it was the best movie of all time. That is startlingly correct. Well, of course, Ed doesn't like anything. He's just like, I don't get it. Yeah, Ed Larson from the Round Table of Gentlemen and the Briteau. He's not into the emotional movies. No, but he likes, like, upsetting movies, though, because we love to sit and watch really sad movies together.

He likes it, and it's not an upsetting movie. That's what I think. I think what it is is that it just not a lot happens. Nothing happens. That's what, which I would understand that a lot of people would see that as boring. I wouldn't because I'll probably get absorbed into it, and I'll probably end up crying. You will end up crying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it is a very emotional movie. There are some extremely emotional moments in it. And it's, yeah. I hear Patricia Arquette is fat through some of it. Well, Patricia Arquette, I mean, she has been a little above the waistline for a good five, six years now. You ever watch Medium? She's always in her pajamas.

No, I don't know. I watch the Medium. She is always in her pajamas. She's always, I love watching Medium. It's so stupid. it is so stupid she's got this bang and hot husband my mom loves that show and every time I watch an episode

of it I'm like this is dumb the thing I hate about medium several things she's always dreaming about these crimes she's solving and every time she wakes up of the night and she's like oh and her husband's always like what you dream you fucking share a bed with a fucking psychic

of course you're going to wake up and see some fucking murder thing get over it stop being surprised about it he's surprised every time what's wrong what is What is it? What's wrong? I love it. No, you fucking, she does this every night. You roll over and you go to sleep.

When someone snores, you get ear plugs. Yeah, but it's excellent because since so much of the show is about her waking up distressed in the night, she's always wearing a different pair of pajamas. And they're always like mom, hardcore mom pajamas. Like button up flannels with like, you know, little pigs or little snowmen. God, kill me if that's what I wear a bed. Please just put a knife into my spine. if I start wearing that every night to bed.

That's the end. Of course, yes. That's the end of it. That's the end of me. Just give me a call. Although, Jackie, don't you have one of those onesies? Yeah, but I wear that more for fun. Not for funzies?

I never wear it into. I also don't wear it into the bed. Yeah. It's too hot. Yeah. Super hot. I'm in a bit of a row with my girlfriend right now over her onesie. You can't wear it to bed.

Yeah. Too much. I mean, the good way to get it to stop, which is how I stopped, was I was told, I don't want to fuck you when I come home from work, and you're wearing that every day. This is why I haven't gotten one. You got it, and I stopped wearing it. There's other that it'll make you stop wearing something.

I made that subtle points. No, you got to say it. Yeah, you got to say it. And to be fair, listen, those things look super comfortable, but I really think it's a completely fair thing for it. an adult human to say to their adult human partner, please don't wear a baby outfit.

Especially because I would act like a baby when I wore it. And I say, my day bee, my dayby needs changing. So apparently he doesn't want to fuck someone that thinks they're a baby. I would say I'm in the same boat. And that's okay.

You know, you gotta get visceral with it. Yeah. I mean, it would be weird if I was like, yeah, that onesie really fucking gets me hard. It would be. It gets me so fucking hard And I think that it would be shitty If you were like Oh don't wear like comfortable

Pajama pants right Like that would like wear something sexy Comfortable from pajama pants Of course Because I'm wearing comfortable pajamas Exactly like like you know It's not I don't think that you're upholding a like Horrible oppressive standard

To be like don't wear a baby outfit It's just that's what it is It's not sexy It's just not sexy No it's not sexy That or we're wearing every once in a while And just know we're not going to fuck later.

You know, it's like, that's fine too. Wear it on a snow day or something. Exactly. Yep, yep, yep. I will agree with that completely. Oh, Michael Keaton won for Birdman. Yeah, he did. And he deserved it.

He deserved it. Birdman was fantastic. It really was. Also, another one that I did hear extremely varying reviews on. You either loved it or you fucking hated it. And I think it's a lot of people that have nothing to do

with the like... With theater. With theater. Or any kind of like... And I understand. Because to me it spoke to my heart. You know? Same with my girlfriend. Who also has a background in theater. There was much of the movie

that went completely over my head. There were a lot of little giggles and titters in the audience. I was like, what are these people laughing at? Because I didn't get it. I'm not in that scene. I still loved it. But a lot of it went over my head. It was a little weird though. We saw it at the Angelica, which is in the city.

It's a hoity-to-to-a-to-dy theater that shows the hoity-to-dy movies and it was showing Birdman and it was just like Oh, oh, oh. Yes, I do love this movie. Like, that's what the whole theater was filmed. Yes, exactly.

And that's what I'm talking about. I had to be talked into liking it because afterwards was like, fuck everybody. Fuck all these people. No, I'm different. But then I realized, no, I did like the movie. It is a higher, like it is like

playing on, it's playing to those people though. But I feel like what I think a lot of people don't understand, especially the hoity-twity people that are watching it, is that it's also making fun of the things that they like. Yes. And that's what I like about the movie. Yeah, that's where I took it. You know?

Yeah. And, of course, Best Motion Picture was Boyhood. Got to see it. Got to see it. All right, I'm going to watch it this week. Yeah, watch it this week, and then text me after you watch it. Let me know what you think, because I think you'll love it. I've also, I want to see,

Boyhood. I've heard that Selma is absolutely breathtaking and incredible. I really want to see Salma, although I'm worried about being very sad afterwards. Oh, Roll and Jackie's eyes over there. It's supposed to be very good. Yeah. You got a problem with Martin Luther

King Jr., Jackie? No. But I've got a problem with Martin Luther King's senior. But I do know I have to work on January 16th, unlike a lot of other people. Yeah. What day of the week is that? It's a Monday. Yeah. It's the 19th. 19th to 19. That's my birthday.

I have to work on my birthday and on Martin Luther King Jr. Day because my birthday is always on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I'm going to write him a letter. That's out. To be fair, this is not his fault as much as it's your employer's fault. It is his fault. This is my freedom

of my people. That's Columbus Day. That's Columbus Day. But you know what? We don't have it anymore. We don't get that off either. Yeah. Which is fine. It's fair. When I say my people I do mean the white murderers.

Yeah, the ones that came in and killed everybody for no reason. No, Italian murderers. I mean, I am Italian. No. I'm going to say, those days I'm going to take my Polish ones, but they're all too dumb to do it anyway. Right, guys? Polish jokes. Man, I forget that outside of my home,

Polish jokes are not as prevalent as I think they are. Well, you also live in a Polish neighborhood. Yeah, I live in a Polish neighborhood, but also, like, my dad, who is Polish, all he does is make Polish jokes. Well, and, you know, in Chicago, they have Pulaski Day Off. That's a, that's a, like, actual, like, school holiday for the Polish people, yeah. That's fucking Poles, man.

Pulaski. The bridge near us. Yeah. And a street in my neighborhood. Yeah. Interesting. Poles. Lots of Pulaski.

What about Eda? Isn't that Polish nuns? You guys see that movie? Apparently, it's wonderful. It's, like, black and white. It's about a nun that was, like, like, not sure if she was. She wants to be a nun. Like, gets, like, all scared.

It's supposed to be very, like, sweeping and interesting. Well, they mean it looks boring. But a lot of people say that it's a lot of... That it's a very good movie. I see that. I can guys see what you're saying now. Sounds boring, though. Sounds super boring, though.

I want to see Foxcatcher. Yeah. I've never heard. I haven't heard of Foxcatch. It's Steve Carrell, Channing Tatum, Mark Ruffalo. About the Olympian, the wrestlers, and like their coach. Oh.

Yeah. It's supposed to be great, which I also thought was interesting, that the movie is definitely like going for Oscars. It's going for that kind of thing and like not even a scent of it

in the Golden Globes. Hmm. Interesting. It's like Steve Carell's like first like break out very serious role. Hmm. Which I'll give it a shot. And Channing Tatum,

wrestling Mark Ruffalo? Yes, please. Oh, and Ruffalo's bald. Yeah, I'll take it. See, I find Chating Tatum to just be kind of like, but he's such a nice guy. And I do like that he used to be a dancer. And everyone's like the whole thing about him

is that he's such a nice guy. Okay. Makes him sexier. Yeah. Like Chris Pratt and fucking Anna Ferris on the goddamn, all the pictures of them are just them like making fun of the award show and like having a great time together.

It's fuckers. I do like them. All right, it's time. for blind I don't. Oh, we can't see him. What? I'm upset about Chris Pratt. Because he's married to Anna Farris?

Yeah, because they love each other very much. And he'll never be with me. Not at all. Never. He's never going to be with me. What about Garden of the Galaxy? Yeah, but sometimes beautiful comedy marriages don't last. You're right.

Amy Polar and Will Arnett. I don't want that to happen to those two because they seem wonderful together, but I'm just saying it is possible. That's why you should watch the Kroll show, who Amy Polar is currently dating. And he is very, very

funny. Nick Kroll? Yes. I don't like his face. Man, he's so funny, though. You got to give him a shot. Okay. Okay. He's very, very funny. All right. Well, here's some blind items. We're going to start up with an old Hollywood album, old Hollywood blind item. What a plus

plus actor singer and Oscar winner nominee had the image of the All-American Family Man, but he had a little secrets that he kept from the public He grew weed in his backyard and was pretty good at rolling a joint. Also, beat his kids. Oh, um, A plus. You know, dancer man.

He's a dancer man. White Christmas. Sing the white Christmas. Oh, wait, not Ben Crosby. Yes. Oh. Wow. Growing weed.

Growing weed. No wonder he had those droopy beautiful eyes. He did have the droopy beautiful eyes. Yeah, it was probably all the fucking weed. How did he get it? away with it back then. That's crazy. I guess they weren't searching for it though. Yeah. And he also he was Bing Crosby. Who would have thought that

Bing Crosby grew weed? Yeah. Not a caricature of a stoner, that guy. No, not at all, but he was being his kids. Also not a caricature of a stoner. Yeah. Next up, this A-plus list, mostly movie actor who was an Academy Award winner, won last year, recently got busted

having sex on a pyramid and had to pay a huge bribe to stay out of jail. Like a pyramid of human beings? Or like, you know, like, you know up there. I think it was like the pyramid. Whoa, how? On a slant and all? Yeah, the pyramid.

You can probably figure it out. I can figure it out. Or do you think maybe inside one of the tombs that's sexy? That's better than on the outside. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there was a lot of controversy around this guy's Oscar last year. Jared Leto. Yeah.

All right. I just thought the most obnoxious Oscar winner. He's a bit of a weirdo. You know, he did win best braid of the people at the Golden Globes. So, and that's kind of gross. Honey, if he became best braid, I don't know. Yeah. That's that Golden Globes.

I don't like his whole, like, I'm a ghost thing that he has going on for the last two years. Man, where is what he used to be? I know, in my so-called life. Man, he was so, like, Joey Catalano was the hottest guy of all time. He was hot, and then he was hot in Fight Club. But then he decided to just. Turned into an obnoxious... We have to listen to his music.

I... Oh, no. 30 seconds to Mars. Yeah, we don't have to do that. Apparently, it's very bad. But he got... So he got in trouble for this? Yeah.

Fucking on the pyramids. Yeah, he almost went to prison. Whoa. Yeah, he had to pay a big old... It's very disrespectful. It is. It is. It's pretty disrespectful.

It is pretty disrespectful. Oh, wait. This is just the lead-up to the video. Okay, I was like, this doesn't sound like what I thought it was. This is Jared Lettow's band. It sounds like all those other bands.

Yes. What am I thinking of every other fucking band? All those bands from like the year 2002 till now. That's a thing, yeah, from like mid-2000s.

No one understands me. Yeah. Next up, this actress used to be almost Aylist. maybe even A-list, lots of famous significant others, very well-preserved. Whoa. In something more appropriate for night, the aging actress was telling people about her new breast lift,

and she unbuttoned a button or two of her top and flopped her titty out onto the table. Titty! To show her luncheon companions the new work. I feel like I heard about this happening. But I... And oh, has she had? some work. Not share.

No, not share. A blonde-haired woman. Maybe not that, I mean, she's not someone you necessarily think of. Used to be married to a famous Latino man. Ooh. You know what I'm talking about.

J-Lo? No. I was thinking of Mark Anthony. No, no, no. Toth, Latino man. Dashing. Sexy. Oh, Melanie Griffith. Yeah. Oh, man. Who is she married to?

Antonio Banda. Mr. Flag. Man, hell yeah, flopping out that teddy. She just wishes it was milk money. You know, like, bitch, it ain't milk money. Man, she was wearing leather skirts. Those that was like Navajo. It was all about the jeans shorts and milk money.

Man, milk money, she was looking good. I'll always think about milk money because I thought she was so beautiful. And now, man, she is a droopy looking woman. And not having to do with like the years, I mean, misplaced work. Like droopy in that, not like in normal droopy. Because when I think about like the average 60-year-old woman I know, they're not, they're not, they look great compared to some of the scary. Yeah. She looks like the Joker.

Yeah. She looks like Jack Nicholson's the Joker. Can I see a milk money image to compare by? Show us the milk money. Because I'm not sure I've seen milk. money. In fact, I'm quite sure I have. Absolutely have not seen milk money. You haven't seen milk money? Definitely not.

Oh yeah. I mean, look at that outfit. That is a Navajo fringed outfit. Look up Milk Money. All the pictures. She's just in that outfit. She was so sexy. Her and Ed Harris. Yeah, she's pretty.

It was one of those movies that was on USA like 20 times a week. That like I would just throw on when I was like 7th Heaven was over and then I would just put on milk money. Yeah, that was me with. Stepmom. Oh, stepmom. So upsetting. I tried to rewatch stepmom, and I know it's a really bad movie,

cried through the first half of it and I shut it off. I couldn't handle it. I kind of want to rewatch it, but I need to be alone in the house. I don't want to share that with anybody. You have to be alone. Yeah. Well, we've got not only a gay item, but a gay Golden Globes. What?

It's not Jerry Renner, which we weren't able to talk. We haven't talked about Jeremy. We actually didn't talk about Jeremy, We talked about Jalo's boobs just a little bit, but Jeremy Rinerner, he got a pretty good line off. She's like, I can't, I got these fingernails. I can open up the envelope, and then Jeremy Rerner goes, yeah, you've got the globes too.

Yeah. I do think it might be a push of trying, again, to cover up his homosexuality. I don't know. That's a pretty off-the-cuff push right there. I don't know. He's going to a really bad divorce right now of a woman that is spilling some shit. And I think that he probably, it's like, I think that it also could have been like

maybe I need to do something. Could be. Yeah, the woman is saying that he likes to have. Oh, it's all, it's all bad. That's a different story for a different dump. Oh, it's all men. I don't know, man. That look on his face after he made the lion.

That was a pretty fucking sweet-ass look. I look at breasts the same way. I was going to say, I might posit that all men, regardless of who they actually want to fuck, who are born and raised in this country, know how to look at a woman's boobs that way because it's like... Women do, too.

That's how I look at Jessica Chastain. I look at them like, oh, homina, homina. I don't even want to put my fucking mouth on her nipples. It's just like a... It's part of the culture. You look at a woman's boobs like, regardless of whether you actually want to do anything to them or not. Well, especially because J-Lo's breasts

don't look like my breasts. So I feel I would stare at them as well. Bolted on tits. That's what they look like to me last night. It was like staple guns. Yeah, bolt it on. Don't want nothing to do. Here we go.

Although our big star did not take home a Golden Globe herself last night, someone else from her project did, which made her happy. When that happened, did she turn to her handsome, significant other to share that moment of happiness? Absolutely not. Although he was sitting right next to her, she quickly looked toward and smiled at someone who was sitting on the upper level her girlfriend, someone who said at the next to her girlfriend, Someone who said at the next table was talking about this at an after party

and remarked that our star is quote, the biggest hypocrite in the industry always lecturing everybody about how important it is to be authentic when everyone in the room knows she's a lesbian. Yes, everyone in the room knows that. But the folks at home don't.

What? It's not the lady from theory of everything. No, it's not. Because after she lost and then he won, they had a really uncomfortable eye contact exchange that I was really couldn't stop looking at. Well, I mean, the movie was Selma. You gotta ask yourself, who had something to do with Selma?

Oh, Oprah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was Oprah. Didn't look at Stedman, looked up in the rafters at Gail. Whoa. Wait, Gail who? Her best friend.

Yeah, her best friend. Oh, whoa. Quote unquote, best friend. Girl, just be you. Gail gets to go to the Golden Globes, even though she didn't. Yeah, but she's in the upper echelons. Oh, yeah, Oprah could get a dog into the golden globes, an incontinent coughing dog, and everyone would be fine with it. I mean, I feel like at this point it's probably just too late.

I feel like she probably hit it for a really long time, and now that it would, I feel like the backlash, and not probably against an anti-gay faction, and wouldn't be about that, it would be the fact that she lied for such a long time. It would be more like, just come out already. Yeah, but I feel like now she can't. Now she can't come out. I feel like it might be too late. I think that she would lose a lot of people. I feel like she can do anything she wants to do. She's got enough money.

Yeah, she'll be just fine. And people, yeah, people would be so psyched. People would be like, we love you. Yeah. Just what they do whenever she does anything. Yeah. And Ellen, she carries a talk show, daytime talk show while still being a lesbian.

Yeah, but she doesn't. She's not that insane entrepreneur that Oprah is. Like Oprah is a different level. Yeah. That's like that is she is overseeing so much. Ellen came out when she was pretty young, pretty early in her career. Oh, I love to see it. Have you guys seen those collections of pictures of Ellen checking out women on her show?

No. Like there was that like Nikki Minaj on her show, was on her show. And there's a picture of Ellen like very obviously checking out her ass. Good. I'd check out Nikki Minaj's ass. Oh, yeah. Boy, would I. I want to find an Oprah one.

Oprah checking out ladies. I want to see what Oprah. is she a thigh woman? Is she a forearm woman? Who knows? Oprah just doesn't seem like, to me, granted, I don't, I mean, I know she's best friends with Gail, but she just seems like maybe one of those people who just like, sexuality isn't that important to her? Yeah, I feel like it's more out of like a business.

Yeah. Of things that happen. Like, not that she, she doesn't seem like a very sexual person. Yeah, she doesn't. Like, she describes, like, reading her Kindle in bed next to Stedman as she's like selling a Kindle, you know? I mean, isn't that how you get to be successful? You know, sometimes you're going to put the sex on the side.

Yeah, I'm getting. Put the sex on the side. Family, religion. No, thank you. Get it all out there. I want it as an entree. Family, sex, religion. Three course meal.

For me, baby. Bring on the fucking kid dessert. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Neff. I'm Marcus Burke. Thank you guys for listening. We all have to watch more of these movies. We got it with the Oscars going to be coming up soon.

I know. And we really got to get into this. And we're burrowing through it, man. Because soon there's going to be no good movies out. We got to take advantage of what we got it when we got it. Yeah. Love you guys. Real bad, real soon.

Hell yeah. We'll see you next week. Goodbye.