Page 7 - Episode 116: The Brady Brides

Episode Date: May 10, 2015

Marilyn Manson got punched in the face at a Denny's! It this and more on today's P7 as we also cover Travolta's response to Going Clear and Jackie's unfortunate relation to a Brady Bunch spinoff. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Did you listen to a lot of Marilyn Manson? I didn't, but I remember the cultural phenomenon. All right, so we'll start with Marilyn Manson. Did I listen to Marilyn Manson? I don't even know why I asked. I don't know why you asked either. I don't know if we're good friends anymore. Oh, God, come on.

Please, Marcus, I'm sorry. Nin. I know you like Nin. I loved Nin. Nine-inch nails. Which I thought was a different band. You thought, Ninh? Because that's what it says on their symbol

Have you listened to the new Ninn yet? She's like, I love my peanuts Man, Nid is awesome You know what else is awesome Page 7 Yeah I am Jackie Zabrowski

I am Molly Nuffles I am Marcus Parks And boy we're talking about Marilyn Manson. Man, if you could have guessed, I, oh no, that's nine and shnails. I was thinking something else. Have we ever talked about Marilyn Manson?

You know, I think we've kind of talked about him just a little bit here and there in our various slip-nut convos. Sure. Oh, I remember. I don't know if we've ever talked about the man himself. If you didn't know,

Marilyn Manson was punched in the face at Denny's. yesterday. So does it explain exactly what happened at the Denny's. Doesn't matter. I bet it was over a Moons Over Miami, though.

A thousand percent. Oh, I love Moons Over My Hammy. Everybody loves moons over my hammy. I love it so much. Apparently, he got into an altercation with a gentleman at Denny's. Manson called the gentleman's

girlfriend a bitch, and the guy punched him in the face. This is like fucking screech getting in that fight on Christmas. night. Just like, listen, 90s celebrities, just settle the fuck down when you're in middle America. People aren't going to take your shit. This was in Canada.

Whoa. Yeah, this was in Alberta. Wow. I didn't know that they exported Denny's to other countries. Yeah, I mean, you'd think that, you know, Canada, they're a Tim Horton's crowd. Oh, a thousand percent. Yeah. They brought a Tim Norton's here, though, right? I don't know

if they did. I don't think there's any Tim Hortons in America. If there is, they're in like Minnesota, North Dakota. in places like that. Yeah, but isn't Canada supposed to be nice? What's going on up there? I've heard good things. I hear they like peace and health care.

I bet the woman deserved to be called a bitch. I'm throwing that out there. You think so? Yes. I don't think that Marilyn Manson should be presumed to be correct in a given... I don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

I think I might side with Marilyn Manson on this one. Yeah. I don't know. But he does seem like kind of a dick. But you know what? I bet the guy was being. a dick to him first. Sure.

Yeah, yeah. And I bet the girlfriend was sitting there like, you, you, you tell him, honey. You tell him. You tell him. You tell him. You tell the heck out of him. Yeah, you tell you tell that pasty-faced man. Tell him to get some sunlight.

Geez. Wait, did he have the makeup on? Does he always have the makeup on? He always has the makeup on. Still, even though a good 20 years is past, probably still. Well, I mean, he's pretty bloated these days. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

He bloated the. Fuck out. So right now, is he with Rachel Evan Wood or is he with Rose McGowan? What? The Rose McGowan thing ended long ago. He was with either of those two people? Yeah, he was with Rose McGowan throughout most of the 90s. Isn't she pretty?

She's beautiful. They're both beautiful. Yeah. And I don't mean to be like... He's an icon. Yeah, I don't mean to be anti, like, you know, uh, goth. Goth nerd, outcast. I, you know, I support the outcasts.

I support the people who speak to the outcasts. I just did find him viscerally terrifying as a child. I was scared of his image. Like more than other, more than any other, like, pop culture image, I would see him and I would get the willies. So I loved him, though. He was, it was like horror. I mean, it was like an Alice Cooper type of thing,

but taken much, much higher. Like, the beautiful people video is terrifying and weird, and I love that, the sweet dreams video. When he rides the pig. Oh, I love when he rides the pig. Sweet Dreams. I think that's all I know about Marilyn Manson is the Beautiful People Video and the Sweet Dreams video. That's it. That's all I know about him. Except for the fact that when he was dating, is it Evan Rachel Wood or Rachel Evan Wood?

Evan Rachel Wood. Evan Rachel Wood. Is she the one from She's All That? I don't think so. I know she was on a show called Once and Again that I watched that was, I think, about for two seasons. And it was a romantic show about a divorced dad and divorced mom. and they both have kids and they fall in love and you know the hardships no no no the parents fall in love this is where I know her from she was the daughter and the wrestler yes can we confirm if she was in she's all that the one where she takes off her glasses and Freddie Prince she's young I'm thinking of a different person with three names they look exactly the same maybe your name is Evan also it could be

something yeah I think she's Rachel there's a Rachel in there yeah yeah she's all that what is Her name. Rachel Lee Cook. There we go. I apologize. That's who you were thinking of. I'm not going to fall you for that one. No, I mean, they're all the fucking same.

Give me a break. Rachel, something, something. I just know, I just remember Evan Rachel would because of her dating Marilyn Manson. I think they got married, but I mean, it might be heresy. No, they had an on-again, off-again relationship. Okay. They were engaged, but they did not. He proposed to her.

during a concert in Paris in 2010. Oh, my God. It's so romantic. What you married? You bitch! Get on stage! He's wearing that weird. He always wears this weird, what is it called?

A girdle? Yeah, because didn't he get one of his ribs removed so he could suck his own D? Or is that a rumor? Yeah, yeah. That is a rumor. Along with the rumor that he was Paul from the Wonder Years. Oh, yeah.

I remember that rumor. That was a pretty fun one. Poor Paul from the Wonder Years is like, it's not me. Yeah. Just look me up. I think he ended up being, uh... Was he hot? Like Millie did?

I think he ended up being like a, uh, what is it? A lawyer or something like that. I think he ended up being hot, if I remember correctly. John Saviano. That guy. But you guys watched Freaks and Geeks, too, right? I didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you seen a picture of Millie grown up? No. The girl that plays, uh, Linda, what's her name? Cardalini. Cardalini. Her best friend Millie, who's kind of like a Jesus freak in the show, she's kind of like buck tooth, not very attractive. And she grew up into one of the hottest people I've ever seen.

She's pretty fucking... Well, I thought she was cute in the show. Yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, that's the type of girls that I liked in high school. Yeah, homely. Some might say, some might say I said unique. Yeah, unique.

Yeah. I liked a unique. I've been described as homely before. Oh, no. Yeah, man. Homily is a rough thing to be described. Homley is even a little bit degree worse than Mousy. Yes, it is.

Because Mousy can be like, she's cute, Mousy, but nobody says cute homely. No, no, yeah. Homely is... You're not homely, Jackie. Thank you. The first time I heard the word homely, it was to describe Blossom from Blossom. Oh, Blossom's pretty homely. I mean, yeah.

Not for 90s, though. I think even at the time she was home late. Oh, those flower hats. I had one of those hats with flowers on it with a big flower on front. Did you do overalls with one strap unbuckle? Never. I'm not a whore. My brother made a good blossom reference the other day where his hair was getting pretty long,

and he referenced the dad from blossom, which you get a lot of full house dad references. You don't get many dad from blossom references. You don't get many debt from Blossom references, and I just really appreciated it. I hadn't thought about that dad in a decade and a half. You did have big hair. He had big hair. Mm-hmm.

Well, back to this, Marilyn Manson case. Apparently, there were no charges filed. Marilyn Manson was like, no, no, maybe he was like, you know what? I kind of deserved that. But yeah, no charges filed. It was about 2 a.m., naturally. Yeah. They were at the natural habitat of the goth kid, the Denny's.

Man, especially at 2 a.m. Are you kidding me? Yeah. You can't go into a Denny's that late. Sobered goth kids. Unless you're the creepiest one there. Yeah. No, but it's like drunk people and like,

but goth kids, you know, many of whom were not even getting fucked up and just sitting there drinking coffee right in poetry. See, now South Park got that perfectly. The goth kids in South Park, they're often shown hanging out at Denny's drinking coffee. I myself spent much time in Denny's drinking coffee and chain smoking cigarettes.

He's so bad and distant. And I'd have some toast every once in a while. Ew. Yeah. Just buttering servers everywhere. I'd put jelly on it. Yeah, that free jelly. Wait, jelly, no butter.

Yeah, just jelly and toast, yeah. Oh, you're a freak. That's what they all said, man. That's why I was in fucking dinners, because the real world, they couldn't fucking handle me, dude. They couldn't handle no butter on their toast, man. He was like me and Albert and Danny. Like fucking, yeah, I mean, yes, they did have a lot of things burned into their arm.

A lot of where I believe that Albert had maybe the word, fear or pain burned into his arm all the way across his fucking forearm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. He had problems. He had a lot of problems. Both of them did. But you know what? They were sweet.

They were sweet goth gothkins. Yeah. I thought that their hearts were in the right place. Their hearts were definitely in the right place. The beautiful people. The beautiful people. Did you see that Marilyn Manson is on tour right now with smashing pumpkins? That makes a lot of sense.

It does. I almost did a spit take just now. But I kind of, I don't know. I'm so intrigued. I don't like it. It's two different groups from junior high hanging out together. It's very different. See, I guess it makes sense, but like, does it make sense?

I mean, I listen to both of them. Tonight. Tonight. Take you. 197. It's all right. I just, it's like that, I don't know, man. I loved me some melancholy in the infinite sadness, though.

I mean, I love a smashing pumpkin song. Yeah. But that's why I don't understand why they are touring together. Yeah, no, I would not want to. I would skip. I would find out when Marilyn Manson was performing, and I would either leave or arrive appropriately. It does seem, I mean, I would enjoy both,

but it does seem like the same people who are listening to melancholy and the infinite sadness. Well, I listened to both, but, eh, you know. You were in college radio, you know? Yeah. Well, later. Yeah, I mean, those albums were out

when I was like 14. Oh, my God. You were so young. You're talking about you were 10. That's why I wasn't listening to them. I was too busy listening to no strings attached. Apparently there has been a bit of a rift between Billy Corgan and Marilyn Manson in the past because Corgan wrote a letter to Marilyn Manson warning him about the perils of dating Rose McGowan.

Oh, come on now, Billy Corgan, mind your own business. Yeah, he should mind his own business on that one. I'm going to see, hmm, I'm going to see what happened there. Unless she's abusive, or unless the, I do not think, I've even had this happen with France. Like I've had like a guy who's like, you know, a little bit like not a guy you'd want to marry necessarily. I had a friend like go up to a girl he was flirting with at a bar and be like, stay away from him. You don't want to even have a pirate. And I was like, come on.

Leave the guy. He's, you know, he's not. If he was an abuser, yes, warn the girl. But if not, just let him figure it out themselves. I feel like between Billy Corgan and Marilyn Manson, though, that like Corgan's got to know that Marilyn Manson has to be better in bed than he is. Yeah. A million times over. There's no way.

He's, I mean, Billy Gorgon, you imagine, it's probably sap-filled. I'm sure it's pretty short, and I guarantee there's no fun. He likes cats way too much to be good in bed. Exactly, exactly. But Marilyn Mason. You know he was once on the cover of Cat Fancy Magazine? That's a plus, in my opinion. Well, see, there you go.

Well, obviously, all three of us want something different in the bedroom. Very different. Very different. But like Marilyn Manson, as much as like, you might not be laughing through it. But like if you're scared a little bit, that's fun. I thought he's goofy. He could be goofy at times. He doesn't seem like somebody who's ever once been goofy to me.

That's why I don't want to get in bed with him. I feel like he's been goofy. I feel like he's privately a goofy guy. Privately goofy. Yeah. I think it might be part of it. Yeah? I feel like that might be part of the Marilyn Manson thing, right?

Are you, wait, to go back a little bit, are you guys telling me that if you had the opportunity to be on the cover of Cat Fancy Magazine, you wouldn't take it immediately? I mean, I'd take it, but not because I love cats so much. You take it ironically. Yeah, yeah, I would take it ironically, ironic in the sense that I hate cats. Yeah, I would do it if, as long as I could

hold a dog on my lap. I'll really fuck cat fancy there. No, no, no, fuck a dog. I'm going to hold a fish. Man, you're crazy. You are crazy. It's a cover story of a cat murdering a fish.

Not the cover of cat fancy. Yeah, oh, and it's going to be a scandal. Yeah, man. Go to the victims. I want to hear what the fucking victims have to say. The fish's family? Yeah, the fish. The fish.

All fish. Oh, my God. Manson and Courtney Love also had a little thing. Oh, sure they did. Well, they had a thing in that they asked Manson, like, okay, like, how are you with Courtney Love? He said, we've always been weird with each other because she slept with pretty much every one of my friends except for me.

Whoa. Somebody's dick hurt. And he said she one time told me she was mad at me because I didn't want to fuck her and I was smarter than her. I said, well, you kind of proved your own point right there on that one. No, he's just the king of all the goth kids. He's an adult goth kids. That's his,

it's his adolescent philosophy that the girl he wants to fuck is fucking everybody. But everybody who, fuck me. Yeah. That was how I wasn't. high school. I grew out of that. Yes. You most people do.

You've got to grow out of that. You've got to. Oh, oh boy. That makes me angry at Marilyn Manson. No, that makes me sad for him. You won't fuck me. You fuck all my friends. I have said that to a person before, but you've got to be really young to say that.

Yes. Right. Under 17. Yes. Well, Courtney Love responded to that on Twitter. naturally, she said, OMG at Marilyn Manson, all this time I thought you're gay. Of course I'll fuck you. I'm free Friday from 115 to 118.

Gives us plenty of time for a smoke, too. Thank you. Good job, Courtney Love, getting a little bit of a zing on. That was spicy. That was a spicy. That was a spicy zing. That was really good. Yeah, Courtney Love isn't necessarily known for her zingers.

No, I mean, definitely her confuddled bemusements, but. but never her zingers. Men. Well, I mean, Manson didn't say a whole lot. I mean, a feud is pretty overblown. He said, he takes his advice. He said, about the letter, he said, there's a kind of guy code that I abide by

where he totally offered his advice, and he was genuinely just looking out for my best interest. I hadn't seen him in 15 years. I had forgotten how close we were, having not seen him in so long. He's the one who taught me how to play guitar. It's like they're all still in high school.

Yes. What's the happening? You know, my bro's just looking out for me. It's a guy code man. We'll learn to play guitar later on. It's cool. I just can't believe he said the phrase guy cold. This man, let's put a timeline on this.

He's got to be at least 45 years old. Oh, let me check. I think they're both. I think that's what it is. They both just got famous so young. He's 46. Yeah. You wasn't that yet.

I mean, young enough that they got stuck mentally wherever they were. Just like Justin Bieber's never going to be mentally older than what he was when he got famous. Which was 13. Yes, that's it. I don't think he's going to get any better than this. Yeah, no, I think that's correct. Okay, so 94 was when Portrait of American Family Manson's first album came out. And then they smells like children came out, which was Sweet Dreams.

and that's when it got fucking huge. That's when he really... But Antichrist Superstar was the one where he really blew up. That was 94, 95, and 96. So in 1994, he was 25. So he got pretty... Old enough. Old enough.

25 is old enough, I think. You're not supposed to get stuck at 25. No. But even then, at 25, he was probably still stuck at 15. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So, yeah, 25-year-old got... kid is...

Question was, did Satanic panic predate Marilyn Manson? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like a kind of post-Satanic thing. He was more Columbine. Uh-huh. Yeah, he was playing more for Columbine than anything.

I remember that, yeah. Yeah, and even then he could still be, he was almost like a reaction to the satanic panic. I was like that. Satanic panic was 80s, early 90s. Okay. Yeah, so he came along right at the tail end of that. Got it.

And honestly, he came along right at the perfect time for it, for him to fucking shoot up there. I guess that's why I feel like he's been around forever because I think he's been around since I've been listening to music. Yeah. Like current music. So in my head, he's been there for a million years. I guess that really hasn't been that long. Yeah.

I mean, 20 years. 21 and 21. It's me that's old. That's a problem. It's me that's old. No, it's only been a few years since I've done listening to music. It's only been two decades. Jesus Christ.

Nah, you're fine. That's fine. Love Marilyn Manson. Yeah, Marilyn Manson's fine. Oh, he had a couple of different names. He also went as Madonna Wayne Gacy. Oh, boy. That was the tryout before he hit the good one.

Oh, no way, wait, wait, wait, wait. Madonna Wayne Gacy was the name. Oh, I see what they did. Oh, this is clever. They took names of famous models. Marilyn and then they took names. Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson, and they took names of famous serial killers. So it's Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Manson,

Twiggy Ramirez, which would be Twigy the model and Richard Ramirez, and then Madonna Wayne Gacy, Madonna and John Wayne Gacy. Yeah, Madonna Wayne Gacy is pretty shitty. Yes. Twiggy Ramirez is pretty good. Yeah, that's all right. That one's not as like in your face, like, hey, look at me. Right, look what I'm doing here.

Yeah, but Madonna Wayne Gacy. That's too much. Yeah. Step back. Way, way, way, way too much. Yeah, so Marilyn Manson, he's recovering. He's fine. There's nothing wrong with his life.

You know, I think he needed a good punch in the face. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think so, too. He's constantly surrounded by guards and shit. You know, it's like, when does he have that opportunity? Yeah, just get it. Yeah, I don't know.

What is he surrounded by guards? Or was he just going out to Denny's at 2 a.m.? Oh, I mean that usually he's surrounded by guards. So I think that, like, that was just him going out. in the middle of the night, so maybe he just made him feel alive. Yeah, maybe it did. I mean, he's just not looking good. He's old.

He's old and he's lived hard. Yeah. You know, honestly, when he said 46 and we're astounded, I thought he was older than that. I would say 50s because his face looks bad. I don't know what he looks like now. I'm a little bit afraid to see I hear that he's loaded. It's the same. It's just bloated and saggy.

I mean, it's just an older person's face that's been doing drugs and perform. performing for 20 years straight. Yeah. Yeah, that'll happen. Yeah. Here's a picture of Marilyn Manson right now. Oh, yeah, he looks like middle-aged Marilyn Manson. Yes.

I mean, he's aged pretty much exactly how you think he would age. No surprise is there. Yeah. I mean, he doesn't look that terrible. You know, he would be, I don't know, he kind of looks like, I don't know, creepy geometry teacher. He's evoking somebody to me right now and I can't put my finger. on it.

Nick Cage? Kind of sort of. It could be the aviator glasses that he's wearing in this picture that we're looking at. It kind of looks like Benicio del Toro. Yeah, a little bit. Oof.

Is he still wearing those cat's eye contact lenses? Every once in a while, yeah. I mean, the makeup's got to be old by now. Yeah, right. He probably doesn't want to put the makeup on anymore. God, I haven't put on eye makeup

since I was 27. I mean, when he was younger, it made sense. Like, this is a picture. Check it out. This is a picture of him around the time of Antichrist Superstar, smells like children, long-haired, weird-looking goth guy. Like, he looks like the type of people that used to hang out at the tattoo shop

that I hung out at all the time in college. That's a 90s look. Yeah, that's fine, right. It's an alternative 90s look. And it was interesting at the time. I was still scared of it, but I'm less scared of it now. Yeah. Oh, now it's just kind of goofy and fun.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I am also speaking as a 32-year-old man who puts on makeup every time he plays draw. but you know it still could be fun I would say 21 years from now you're probably not going to want to put the makeup on anymore I don't think I'm going to want to put the makeup on anymore 21 years you know it's like in the beginning

of course it creates a beautiful character although I saw that Kiss documentary and they put it on for a long time and you know what they still look all right in it yeah the rock and roll hall of fame induction yeah that's the one was fun yeah that was fun let's move on to some sad news

We have to talk about it Of course last week we talked about going clear At length And we also talked at length About how John Travolta needs to leave the church Needs to defect Today or actually yesterday He came out in defense of Scientology

He did And said that he is perfectly happy with it And he refuses to see going clear Of course that's what a hostage would say though Yeah I believe he refers to Scientology being beautiful to him. Yes.

Twice or thrice within the outspoken. He took a while to comment. I'll bet he had to talk to a bunch of higher-ups and the higher-ups lawyers. He had to figure out what he was supposed to say. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. He took a while.

Exactly. What he was supposed to say, how he was going to say it. They probably had to practice body language. I bet they do so much rehearsal with him. so many little things where they have to practice this thing and that thing and make sure that he just doesn't betray any sort of inkling that he could be a hostage for 40 years. I bet that this is something they've been working on for a week, solid. Yeah, absolutely.

Has to be. Yeah, what else is the explanation? How about Tom Cruise? Has he commented? Oh, Tom Cruise won't say anything at all. No. Yeah, he doesn't have to. Yeah, because he doesn't talk to anybody.

John Travolta did a phone interview. He's got a movie coming out. out. It's called The Forger. So he's promoting that. And of course, someone's it. They're going to ask him. I was like, hey, so did you see going clear? And he said, no, I haven't. And I don't really care to. Boy, what a nightmare. He needs to be saved. Yeah, he does. I think you might like it on the outside of Scientology.

John Travolta come out. I think you might like it. But here's something. This is interesting. This sentence is very telling. I haven't experienced anything. that the hearsay has claimed, so why would I communicate something that wasn't true for me? It's not how a human talks. It's not how human talks, but it does kind of say that he's saying like, well, I'm not going to deny that that that happened. He doesn't deny that it happened at all. It just wasn't true for him.

Exactly. And he said that it was people who were disgruntled with their experiences while the church has been nothing but brilliant for me. So he's not denying that all of this shit happened. He's just saying, hey, they've treated me okay. That's very telling. It is very telling. He wasn't like, no, of course, that's all lies because he can't. Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah, he said that he wouldn't have made it without the church's assistance during his son's death. Yeah, well, we know that. Mm-hmm. It's so sad. It is so sad. It's so sad. I totally, yeah, I like. I can't unsee it now.

I just see John Travolta as just a sad, sad victim. And Jackie, did you know this? Did you know that his primary residence is in Ocala? No, I didn't. The witch is right next to Clearwater, where Jackie partly grew up and where the Scientology Center is. He goes five days a week to the Scientology Center. Whoa. Yeah.

When he isn't making a movie. I mean, that's still like an hour drive. Yeah. But still. Damn. Man, it's so sad. I have nothing else to say about it. It's just sad.

But I also can totally, like, I think I said this last week when I was watching it, I was like, I totally get, like, having, like, oh, every day I have to go to the Scientology Center. I sleep there. My friends are there. Like, it just takes care of you. It's like being in school or something, right? Everything, it's like, you just have, like, a path.

I have to drive an hour to the Scientology Center every day. That's what I do when I'm not making a movie. That's my life. Well, especially what, which we were just talking about. about it's like when someone gets famous that generally they they remain the age they were mentally when they were famous like John Travolta was really young yeah they didn't have a lot of guidance yeah so something comes in it's like that's how it burrows into your fucking head yeah that like it's just it is a part of him yeah it's not even a question yeah he says that it would be a

crime to him personally to approach Scientology from a negative perspective well of course it would because he's indoctrinated like for decades yeah and yeah and Yeah, and it would be he would receive punishment. Yeah, right. Like a literal crime. Yeah, exactly. He says, I've helped. And that's the thing.

He says that Scientology has helped him. And then he goes on to say, I've helped so many people through hard times, loss of children, loved ones, physical illnesses. Through many tough situations, I've used the technology to support them and help them. So he's saying that he's done it. So there are, there's pinpricks there. There's little bits of light shining through in this interview. Where are Will and Jada Pinkett Smith? Yeah.

That is true. Where are they? Good question. They got nothing to say. Willow was in the news this week for like looking hot. Yeah, because she's a 14-year-old hot mistress of death. She's going to man. She's going to send at least two men to jail.

I thought maybe she was old enough to be looking hot now. I think she's still really young. Right, Marcus? She's like what? 13 or 14. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's still really young, but I found something extremely interesting. Apparently, two, and this is just a couple of days ago, they interviewed a former Scientology

senior executive, someone who's coming out against all these people, and he 100% denies that Will Smith is a Scientologist, that Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are Scientologist, that it's only rumors. Because remember, when I went through that list of people... Jackie's face, right? You are giving me a what you talking about, Willis face right now. I'm sorry. I was like so engross listening to Marcus and I looked over in Jackie.

It was just like, mm-hmm, was her facial expression. So what does that mean? Who has, what's, whose rumor is it? Whose rumor says, let's see here. Like what's in it for whoever to have that rumor? It says Jason Beggy that was in the documentary. He said that Smith was supposedly dabbling in Scientology and a former principal at Will and Jada Smith's school

claimed that the curriculum was 100% Scientology focused, but they say that the link really comes from Will Smith's close friendship with Tom Cruise. Sure. Have to be. He said, I was introduced to Scientology. This is from Smith. He says, I was introduced to Scientology through Tom,

and I'm a student of world religion. I was raised in a Baptist household and went to a Catholic school, but the ideas of the Bible are 98% the same ideas as Scientology. That's not true. Absolutely not. That is, that's not true. 98% the same ideas as Buddhism or Hinduism? Definitely not, even less so.

He says, how are you going to not know nothing about Scientology and attack Tom? It's dangerous and it's ignorant. How am I going to condemn someone for what they believe? And I believe God was born from a pregnant virgin. That he does make, that is a good point. Sure. And I'm all up in like, you know, like, I, like, Before I saw it going clear, I was totally like, oh, yeah, religion.

Like, people don't buy religion. Don't buy Scientology. Religion has all sorts of rules, whatever. Like, I always thought Scientology was, like, more culty than other religions. But I get the whole, like, if people think religion is culty, then you're like, well, who cares? Scientology or Catholicism, right? And then you watch going clear. And you're like, oh, no, no, no, no.

Whatever. Say what you will about Catholicism or other religions. religions, but Scientology is distinctly different in how exploitative it is, in how fucking bat shit crazy it is, in how made up by one guy it is. I mean, and how murderous it is, I mean, all those things that I said before could probably be applied to other religions, but not the way that it is in Scientology. Well, the people who came out and said that Will Smith was definitely not a Scientologist, the two guys that they interviewed for going clear.

like the two up high executives. When they asked during the filming, is Will Smith a Scientologist, they both said in unison, Will Smith is not a Scientologist. So if we believe everything else that they say, why wouldn't we believe this? Interesting.

But why wouldn't they be too scared to lie about that? That's a weird thing. If they're not scared about the beatings, then why would they be scared about Will? The much more damning stuff. Like both of them were out of Scientology, like for about eight or nine years, though, right? Hmm. Then I'm saying that like, no, the one of the guys that Tony Ortega, he only got out in like 2008, 2009, which would have been given, you know, that there would have been ample time for Will Smith to be a Scientologist by that point, unless Will Smith got in the last few years.

Right. Which is possible. Yeah, which is a good point. The time lapse. I really don't want Will Smith to be a Scientologist because as much as they're weird, I want to like them. I want to believe that they are autonomous people. I mean, you shouldn't not like them just because they're an occult. No, right.

I don't know. I still like love and feel compassion for them. Man, independent state. Man, oh, man. Good Lord. Welcome to Earth. Oh, my God. I just want him to be okay.

You know, I want Will Smith and his family to be okay. I like him too. I like Will Smith too. Yeah. Yeah, I do too. But, you know, it's like, let them give all their money to them. You know, they're all weird. Fuck it, who cares?

Yeah, but what if they get trapped? What about the children? At this point, I feel like they're too far gone. I feel, that's why I feel bad for, like, John Travolta, who had happened to him so young. Yeah. If they're in it now, who gives a fuck? Yeah. You know, it's like they're older now.

Who cares? They'll get there and... And then they're going to go into nothingness. They're going to go into the hole or going to get beaten. They'll learn about the volcanoes and maybe they'll learn about the volcanoes and maybe they'll They'll be like not interested. And be like, oops, oh no, we shouldn't have done that. And be like, welcome to Earth, motherfucker.

All right, it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Yeah, got to have that list. Terrible TV spin-offs. All right. Is this because of full house? Yes, it is. Oh, my God.

Or should we say Fuller House? Oh, kill me. Is that what it's being called? It's being called Fuller House. Don't you hear, Marcus. That's disgusting. Are there any original cast members part of the new. one.

DJ and Kimmy. What? That's it? That's it. Oh my, of course. They have nothing going out. They say that Bob Saget, John Stamos, and Dave Cooleyer would have guest roles. I thought you were going to say that those three were like, I'll kill you.

Get off my fucking front porch right now. But it doesn't seem like the Olson twins are really talking about coming back to Fuller House. They landed on their feet. Well, okay. Well, one of them landed in the lap of a creepy friend. Frenchman. Oh yeah, he's old. A very old. What about Jody Sweeten? I don't know about Jody Sweeten. Well, she went to rehab for a while. She came out the other end, though. She did. She was a book. Unsweetened. Oh, I thought it was called sweet and sour. Sweeten.

Sweet and sour will be the sequel. Yeah, after Fuller House destroys her life. Yuck. Un-sweetened. What was the name of DJ's boyfriend that was Aladdin? Oh, Steve. But, oh my God, I have to tell you about this. Her brain just exploded. This was amazing. So you guys like Friday Night Lights. You know, Jess, Michael B. Jordan's girlfriend from Friday Night Lights.

Yeah. Denise, Michelle's black friend from the house. I had not put that together until- You didn't notice the mouth? I did. It was like I... Her mouth is so big. Of course it was her.

So I knew it was one of these things where like I knew it but I didn't know it. I said it out loud. I was like, she reminds, because I started. watching Empire and her brothers on Empire. And I was like, she reminds me of a character from Full House. And I had never said it out loud. And it was just like a thought planted in my brain. And then I looked it up and it was her.

And I literally couldn't stop talking about it for 30 minutes. I was like, I can't believe it. I did the whole time I was there with Friday Night Lights. I didn't put it together. It was a wonderful brain explosion for me. Well, let's get into this list. The first one is. Time of Your Life, a Party of Five spinoff starring Jennifer Love Hewitt's character.

See, I never watched Party of Five, but I always wanted you because of Scott Wolf. Yeah. Because I was named, man, Scott Wolf. I was like, I don't know anything about this. But it was really sad, right? Yeah, I think they were orphans. Yeah, it was super sad. And Matthew Fox from Lost, he was in it.

See, that's what I like about nowadays. He played the, ugh, character. There's no orphans. Yeah. Orphins have been completely living. Eliminated from pop culture. Nobody gives a fuck about an orphan. No, no, no, no.

All our shows are just about like upper middle class people now. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's true. Next up, the tortellies or tortellies. From the Torkelsons? No, from Cheers. Oh, my God.

Wait, it's about Carla? It's about Carla's ex-husband. Oh, man, the guy from the first wives club. Dan Hediah, also the kids. guy from Adams family. Yes. The next door neighbor. Don't care about anything.

Or he wasn't the next door neighbor. He was the lawyer that tried to steal the Adams family gold. He's a big character actor. Yeah, he's that this guy right here. Oh yeah, I know him. Exactly. Everybody, he's like, yeah, he's all over the place. I specifically remember him from First Wives Club.

But, man, do I love cheers? I haven't seen Cheers. And also starring a woman who looks like she could be Amber Nelson's mom. Oh my God, it does look like Amber. That is. Wait, that was in the tortellinis? Tortellis. The tortellies.

The tortellies. Yeah, they lived in Vegas. And they has an unwieldy extended family. Your spinoff show is called the tortellinis. Yeah. Yeah, I wish, man. They're filled with cheese and ready for sauce. Five episodes.

It had five episodes. I mean, why would any... They're the worst characters of cheers. Yeah, they're awful characters. Oh, man. I was talking about Frasier the other day. though. Frazier Crane just started being on Cheers.

I'm in the end of season three right now. It's great. And I love Frazier so much. So Cheers had two spinoffs then. Frazier was a successful one. Mm-hmm. And then the tortellies. Tellies.

I really want to say tortellini. The next one, a mash spinoff called Walter. That's a boring name. It's about radar. Radar, he's home from Korea. It's his life. I tried to watch MASH. Yeah, everyone tries to watch MASH at some point.

I think it might be too old for me. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little too old. I can't really appreciate it all that. I don't get the references. I think we might be incapable of understanding it. The weirdest one on here, I think, is the Golden Palace, which was a Golden Girl spinoff that was just the Golden Girls, but without B. Arthur.

But they need the masculine one. Yeah, what were they trying to do? So they got the dumb ones. one they got the slut and they got the mean one. Which one is Betty White? The dumb one. Yeah, but B. Arthur was the straight man. And without a straight man, you got chaos.

Yeah, exactly. The remaining girls invest in a hotel with no employees, meaning they have to do every little task around the hotel, which led to just so many shenanigans. Too gimmicky. May I say. Too much. Too much.

So sad. Yeah, so sad. Man, there was a bunch of old pictures of Betty White on Reddit the other day. Damn, she was hot. Oh, what a fuck, Betty-Wy-Wy. She was fucking hot. Yeah, I believe it. I mean, she looks great.

I'm not saying how to fuck her now, but she does look great. She's like 93 or something. Models Inc. Do you ever see that one? Spin off of Melrose Place. No. Which in itself was a spinoff of 902. That's what I was going to say, wasn't it?

Yeah. Or is that just unofficially it was. It was a spin-off. Yeah, Melrose Place was a spinoff of 90210, and Models Inc. was a spin-off of Melrose place. I wasn't cool enough. to watch any of those shows that young. I hated those shows.

Yeah. I wish. I was like a little too young for 90210. But sometimes like if I had a babysitter, we would be allowed to watch it and I'd get scared about the sexy. Yeah. My brothers were obsessed with it. Yeah.

Yeah. They called it digits. And they'd all get together every like Thursday night. And they all, them and their friends would all watch digits together. And if they couldn't get together, they taped it and then watched all together later. Oh my God. Y'all want to watch digits? Yeah, y'all want to watch digits?

They were like football players. Was it like a circle jerk thing? No. No, and then later on, when they were in college, they were super into days of our lives. That's cute. And they'd call it days. I guess, honestly. They'd plan their class schedule.

Like, I used to plan my class schedule around Jeopardy that came on at 11 a.m. every day. They would plan theirs around days. How much was it to fly? Fuck women. None. Not at all. Are you sure? So was it something they hid from women?

Yes. Interesting. See, I would be turned on by that though, especially like in college. It's like that's kind of cute. Yeah, that is cute. I think it's very cute. No way, dude. No way.

Good for them. They're just loving digits. I bet they circle jerked at least. No, they weren't those guys. Had to have days of our lives. That shit was sexy. Also, they're sexy. Not anymore because they got some old people in there.

And then they're like, suck. on each other's lips and their lips are down into their chins, I swear to God. But like, old shit, man. All of it was sexy. Here's another bad idea. The Brady brides. Ew.

Marsha and Jam Brady both get married and live in the same house. Nope. One husband's uptight. Whatum's messy. So it's the Brady bunch of the odd couple. Ew, that's awful. Never.

That's the worst thing. I have ever heard of, I have to see an episode. Speaking of worst thing I've ever heard of, I just want to throw it out there. Vanilla Ice goes Amish is on Netflix right now. And I have to say, I was like, it's 20 minute episode.

I got to watch the first episode. 15 minutes in, I shut it off. I came back to it drunk later on, watched the end of it, and I was sad that I finished it. I was going to say, I don't know you to shy away from reality television. I love reality television. Or even

You know, poor quality reality. It was too far in the middle. Like, it was too sad. Yeah. Wow, do you all want to hear the theme song to the Brady Brides? It's on YouTube. This is an episode called Gorilla of My Dreams. The gang deals with a robber and a giant stuffed gorilla.

Let's hear what they do with the theme songs. Is this like a racist thing? It's a new life for two girls. Nope He's the neat one He's got glasses I can't Man I bet they fucking bark

Oh my god Wally's got a Oh he's goofy He's goofy I Guys separate your adults I hate this The houses were expensive To work for each couple

Nope. No, my lord. No. Oh my lord. This is my life. This is my life. This is my life. This is my life.

This is my life. So referring to the four of you as the Brady brides from now on. Oh no. Hey, this has a dude spent there. You have all we, man. Oh, no, it's my. Oh. Oh, no.

No, you're March. I have. The neat one. I hate the neat one that means of jam. The boys are the Brady brides. So you have to decide whether you're the neat one or the goofy one. I don't want to. Fuck me.

I hate everything. My life is over. I'm going to go home and destroy everything I have. But we don't really have any. I couldn't find any blind item. Oh, one blind item. Just one blind item. And then we got to get out of here.

We can't see it. We can't see it. Jackie's too upset this. I'm upset right now. Just one, just one. This A-list, openly gay celebrity, is cheating on her wife with a young blonde intern. The intern looks exactly like a famous ex she had back in the day. Ellen.

Don't tell me it's Ellen. Ed H. Yeah. They all look the same. Give me a fucking break. Don't leave her. I won't be you hanging, but I'm upset about this blind item. I'm not okay with it, and I don't think that it's real.

How could she ever cheat on Portia Dorasi? Yeah. How? Portia Dorasi is one gazillion times hotter than Anne Hache. Oh, yeah. A guillian. And it's just like, oh, so she looks like Ann Hage. So what?

She's a little fucking blonde short hair. Yeah. I know. I say this as a blonde of a short hair. I know. I wasn't going to say it, Molly. Portia de Rossi is much hotter than the little fucking blonde's the short hair. Sorry.

I mean, it's just a different, it's sexy. It's not that it's just, you know, it's a different thing all together. I would encourage anyone who I was with to be with Portia deau. Daraasi instead of me. Maybe Anne Hach had a Gilles Sackre. Don't you fucking French. You're bullshit.

Possibly a Géard de Ville. No, there's none of it. There's no Gilles de Ville. We can't win back after she's realized that she's living inside the Brady Bride. I'll never be the same again. My life is over.

I'm a member of the Brady Brides. The Brady Bride. I just love. And then the houses were too expensive. I'm not Jason I have a sister I'm moving with her and a husband Oh god you're not even a Brady bride

You're the fucking You're the partner of the Brady Bride I'm the partner Doug and Justin are the Brady Bride I'm a side character On the Brady Bride Which one? Do you, are you partnered with

Marsha or Jan? I mean I guess I would be in comparison The messy one Yeah So then I get Fucking Marsha Fuck everybody

I'm on top Again I got the hot Sibling And we're getting The fuck out of year My life is over My name is Jackie Zabroxby

My name is Molly Nuffalo I'm Marcus Pax My life is over My life is over