Page 7 - Episode 117: Timberlake Biel - Where Your Love Begins

Episode Date: May 10, 2015

Jackie is both ecstatic and saddened at the news of Barry Manilow's marriage, Drake drowns in Madonna's lipstick, and Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel narrowly avoid creating a blood diamond baby. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There we go. So often we happen at the same time. Ah, yes. Yeah, you know, you can't always go at the same time, though. It's ideal. I know it's not always. You can't always give it the go, go, go, go, go at the same time. Man, I write the songs that make the whole world sing.

I write the songs of love and special things. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly. I am Marcus Parks and Barry Manilow's married. Hey, God, Mary! Good Lord, do I love Barry Manlo? I love him so much. I have been listening to him nonstop since he got married.

I'm so fucking proud of him. This is insane. It's insane. He has never, ever, ever admitted to being gay. He has always skirted the issue. Barry Manelow is how I've found. found out what the word gay meant from my mother. I was about to say was your mom's like, oh, I bet he's gay.

No, no, no. I remember, it was after seeing Barry Manilow for like the fifth or six time, and I said to my mom, I must have been like 10 or 11. And I was like, I want to marry Barry Manilow. And my mom's like, well, I don't think you're going to. I'll never forget the conversation. I was like, why? She's like, she's like, sat me down.

And she was like, well, Jackie, Barry Manilow is a homosexual. I was like, huh? He's gay. What do you mean? He likes men. Yeah, well, a lot of people like men. Just like, yes, but he likes to have, he likes to kiss men. That's what she said.

That's the first time you ever learned about homosexuality. I had ever learned. Like, I mean, I knew, like, I knew about it, but like I never, but especially. like, but I was like, but he writes love songs about women. And like in the audience, it is filled every time. It is filled with middle-aged women that are screaming, marry me, Barry! I mean, he's getting panties thrown at him.

He's like the kind of guy that like, I mean, it's insane. Like every show he would bring up at least five different women out of the audience from all places in the audience. And he would bring them up and sing to them. And, like, and do these, like, romantic things of, like, him on the piano and, like, have, like, hoist a woman up on the piano and, like, singing to her. And, like, things like, I mean, it was insane. So in my mind, I was like, how? How could he be?

And then, you know, realization sets in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a pretty good way of explaining. He kisses men. It's like, well, buddy sings songs about women. It's like, well, you know, I mean, Harrison Ford doesn't actually go hunting for treasure. He could if he wanted to.

Okay, so I have to admit that I, for some horrible reason, Barry Manilow was not part of my cultural repertoire as a child. It is okay. He's not a part of most people. It's not, but you know what, I can go ahead and play something for you right now that you're going to notice. Uh-oh, baby, we're heating it up. We're heading on down to Miami, baby. Man, I went down to Miami when I was in high school, and I was like, I got to find the Copacabana.

And there is a place called the Copacabana in Miami. It is a... Lola. She was a showgirl. Man, it is, it's real, it's basically the bird cage in Miami. This picture of Jackie walking around the streets of Miami doing the dance that she's doing right now. Oh my God Man

And this is a dark song Yeah It's about murder and love And you could ask for more At the Copa Go fuck the bana Man Hot is north of a vana

It's such a good song Music and passion Are always a fashion At the Copa They fill in love Man, please, everyone, for him, we have to listen to Barry Manolo this week. It is something you have to do. This is a big thing.

Yeah. This is honestly a really big thing. So my question about, so I first learned of Barry Manilow, the catalog of Barry Manilow, ironically, when he went on season two of American Idol to coach Clay Aiken. So that was a bit of foreshadowing, perhaps. Clay Aiken ended up coming out. But what this is going to sound naive since you know. I can only imagine the conversation they have Barry Manilow just look at him and going, don't do it like me. Don't do it like me.

I lived my entire life like this. Don't do it like me. His entire life was a lot. He was just somebody like people could just tell that he was, that he was gay and he just didn't come out. Yes. I mean, it was always, like, because that was the thing is that he would go on tour often with beautiful women. and like it was known like everybody knew that he was gay it was the same thing you know it's like a John Trump thing but like but back then when he was so big they did not talk about it at all so everybody just kind of knew what was going on but the thing is that he married his agent of like they've like it's been his agent for like a long time oh are they also roommates I it's also his hairstylist it's also you know but that's true

That's like the old school way where it's like, oh, they're my agent for 50 years. We're best friends. I'm so proud of him. I mean, the plastic surgery looks a little rough. It's a little rough. It's a little rough. He's chasing after a rainbow. But I am so proud of him.

And especially for my parents' generation, like, this is a big thing. He asked my mother about it. And she goes, oh, well, you know, he doesn't know what he wants. That's what she said. I was like, he's like 70. years old mom. Yeah. Yeah. And also, you were the one who

identified him as gay. You knew he was gay. Don't you want him to be? But it's still in her heart, though. She has the same thing that I have. But I love him. I know my mom is also in love with him as much as I am. Has to be. But I

man, I got to get to Vegas. I got to see that show before he fucking croaks. Oh my God. Let's go. I have never been to Vegas. I really want to go. And we got to go and see Barryman. Yeah, he's... Honestly, if I think of all the people

that you can see in Vegas, Barry Manilow sounds like up there. And I'm telling you, he sounds just like the records. Sounds just like the records. I'm down. The problem is he comes now, but the only people that can afford to go see him

are older people because even nosebleed tickets are $200 a ticket. Because it's all old, rich people that go to fucking see him. It's not fair. What about the young ones? Where's the Bushwick show?

I want to go see him out in fucking Brooklyn. So is he kind of like a... Who's that guy who sings about Florida? Jimmy Buffett? No, he's more like a Neil Diamond. Yeah, or a Tom Jones. Yeah, like he's just... Oh, he's just a romantic.

Okay. But he does wear a lot of Hawaiian shirts, right? No. No. Silk shirts? Snappy dresser. Suites. I mean, he looks fly all the time.

He's dressed to kill at all times. Not flashy at all. Okay. All right. No, not at all. But the plastic surgery is sad. Okay, there are, he did have some flashy time. Well, I mean, that's his heyday, baby.

The Copacabana. And he does wear red velvet. He wears a lot of red velvet. He does. He wears a lot of red velvet. There's a crushed red velvet. Yeah. In fact, most of the pictures of him are of him and a crushed red velvet.

He loves red. He's a showstopper. And he is a, he is a performer. Yeah. Man, it's just, I'll sing every Barry song. I know every single song by heart. Every single fucking song by heart. I love him so much.

And Barry, I just want to say, I know you're probably listening to the show, and I just want to say that I'm happy for you. Sometimes when you, sometimes I wish that, like, you, I think that you will be a great mom to talk about these things. When you talk, I don't mean, you said just, there's like a, Oh, you want to marry Barry Minil? he puts his dick in the ass he puts a dick in an ass

it's not a woman's ass I don't know if a lot of people in their mid-20s are as passionate about Barry Manalo's so I appreciate that you have the passion of a 60-year-old woman I was in love with this Jew in college because I had this record that like it's one of his

quintessential record albums and it's just his face and his like long flowing dirty blonde hair and that nose for days and I just met someone that looked just like him and I was in love with him just because he kind of looked like Barry Maniloh

and I was wasted. He comes over to the house and I was like I have a crush on you because you look like and I pulled out the record and he was so offended that I thought that he looked like Barry Maniloh not that I was going to get him into bed anyway but I mean you know I was trying

I thought that was going to woo him and it didn't woo him so never tell him that he looks like Barry Manilogue. You're not going to fuck him. Unless, you know, he's wearing a crushed red velvet blazer. Unless he's like, I've been waiting my whole life for somebody to tell me that. Oh, yeah. Well, they got a hold of his ex-wife.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, Susan Deeksler. Of course he was married. He had to be married. Yeah, she's 70, pretty much the same age. They were just 19 and 20 when they got married. At the top of. Actually, here in Brooklyn.

Wow. I mean, he's a New Yorker. Yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is why my mom loved him so much. Wow. She was apparently the prettiest girl in school.

He had to marry her. Because they had to put up a front. He had to do it. Yeah. Especially to be a performer. It's like, no, no, no. I love eating pussy. Yeah.

I mean, this is how we described her in his 1987 autobiography Sweet Life. I was going to say, is it called I'm not gay? He described her as, quote, adorable. Yeah. Small with great legs and a voluptuous figure. Jet black hair, dark brown eyes, and a smile that lit up the room.

That sounds like every gay boyfriend I ever had describing me. Voluptuous was always the word that they used. And your smile lights up the room. Yeah, I got the dark hair. I mean, maybe he did date me. You're his type. He was forced to deny his true self. Man, that's why they all love me, baby.

They all love me. I'm a good beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So is she happy for him? I mean, yeah. I mean, she said, what happened between us, our relationship is ancient history, and I don't want to dig back into ancient history.

It's 50 years ago you have to remember that I'm not a celebrity. I have children, a life. All that was a long time ago. I'm a private person, but I'm happy for him. Of course. He's happy for him. This is a picture of her right here. I mean, she lives in Brooklyn.

She's Philville up. She's just, can you imagine just being some lady who used to be married to Barry Manilow, though, who's not famous at all? I would die every day. I would remember all the times you tried to kiss me and he, like, kind of puked in his mouth a little bit. You're beautiful, baby. Oh, I'm very, like, touched by her. I mean, well, it was 40 years ago. Yeah.

I mean, no, 50. 50 years ago, man. 50 years ago, yeah, she's long ago moved on from Barry. He was tight, though. It's just a weird thing that I bet her husband brings up when they're in mixed company when he wants to rib her a little bit. Like, hey, hey, Susan, tell him about Barry. Oh, you don't want to, you don't want to know about Barry. No, no, no.

Because we want to know about Barry. Well, I was married to Barry, Mary. He's fucking gay. I know. I didn't know. I didn't know at the time. I didn't know. You think people haven't said that to me before.

I know. I know. That's why I divorced. Oh, man. Just for a kiss. What a fun fact. If I, all I knew is that if I had ever, like, to this day, if I am up on stage with Barry Manolo, I will try and kiss him.

Yeah. Like, I don't, like, I will go in for it. Even if the fucking security drags me off the stage, I will, because I know I'm not the first, and I know I'm not the last. This makes it all the more urgent that we go to Las Vegas. I'll go with you. I'll get you up on stage somehow.

I'll film the whole thing. It'll be great. Oh, my God, please get me up on stage. I just want to kiss him. I still want to, it's a lifelong dream. You don't just throw this shit away, but I'm worried that he got married because he's, like, about to die or something.

thing. He's been so against coming out and not against it, but just hasn't done it. He has skirted the issue for 50 years and it's like the fact that he got married it worries me that he's dying. Yeah but I mean

he's 70 70 I mean maybe he's just as like you know what I've it's been 70 fucking years and I've earned it. Yeah, it could be I hope so. I mean and it also could be that he's for these long

years depending on the fantasies of, you know, middle-aged housewives. And 20-something. And one-20-something. Could be that he's depending on them to line in his pocket. So now maybe he's retiring. Maybe he's getting out of the game. Don't you. I have to see him one more time.

I don't know. Start fucking saving your pennies then. It's so expensive, Marcus. It's extremely expensive. Guy like Barry Manilow, it seems, does not ever. fully retire. Maybe he'll always have a couple shows. He's a showman until the day that he dies.

A couple shows a year, you know. Got to. Those Vegas people, though, they must want to take a break sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they have to. Well, he just did a tour, though, so now he's back in Vegas, you know, set up shop. Kiss me just once. I'll pay $100 to kiss him.

But how much are tickets? Very expensive. Like $2,300? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For shitty tickets. When's your birthday, Jackie? August. Well, I always decided, but this has been nine years in the making.

I was like, if I ever get proposed to and I decide to get married, I'm going to go for my bachelorette party. I'm going to go to Las Vegas and I'm going to kiss Barry Manuel. That's what I've always wanted. But the problem is I didn't think it was going to take this long. Am I right? Am I right, ladies? Huh. Have I got some news for you, Jackie?

What is it? Is it bad news or is it good news? Yeah, Marcus has a frown on his face. No? I think it is extremely good news. Why are you saying it so slowly? Because I want to make sure that this is the right year because I don't want to disappoint you on this one.

But it looks like on June. 17th, Barry Manilow is coming to Brooklyn. But where? Barclay Center. Yeah, but how much? 20 bucks. No. What?

What? 20 bucks. That's for the uppers. That's for the... There are still 1,280 tickets available. Oh, no. Oh, no. Let's buy it tonight.

I have to go. I have to go. get on that stage. Who? Some of that listens must know somebody that works the fucking Barclay Center. Come on, guys. Help me relive my dream. I need to do it. I got to do this and then I can fucking off

myself because this is all I want in my fucking life. Upper decks are about 36 bucks. The lower decks, if you want to get the lower decks, those are about 350. Yikes, that's a jump. Yeah, that's a jump. That's a bit of a jump. And then floor, that's a thousand. What?

How do you go from $36,350? Yeah, I'd say, but you can get the lower 16 right in front of the stage for 139. It's not bad, but the problem is, is that last time it's like I could get reasonably priced tickets a few years ago. The problem is is finding someone that wants to spend the money to go see Barry Madelow. I'll spend 20 bucks, no question. I'm not going to spend more than 30. All I can think of is like, do I fly my mother to New York and buy her a ticket so that we can so I can go see Barry Mello with somebody? That might be what you need to do.

Well, I don't want that because I want kisses. Yeah. My mom's going to be a fucking pus block for me. She's going to get in there and try to get her kisses. I know it. Can't trust a woman. She's a serpent. She might be a big pus block for it.

But yeah, I mean, I found that on subhub. Thank you. Maybe you can find some better stuff. But, yeah, June 17th. Well, I mean Doug's birthday is coming up. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's what he wants. Maybe I'll buy him tickets to go see Barry Manilow for his birthday.

Oh, my God. That will be the biggest fuck you of all. He's here going. Like, what fuck do you buy me Barry Manolo? Oh, I guess we have to go. Happy birthday. I'm a fucking guess. Well, we got other news to talk about today.

Oh, okay. The big Madonna Drake kiss. Oh, man. I didn't see it, but I heard about it. I'll show you. Oh. I'll show you the kiss right here. Apparently, they performed, this was at Coachella last night,

which it's really fucked up that Madonna and Drake are playing Coachella. Coachella? I mean, that's just where we are right now. Why does anyone go to Coachella? I don't know. Cochella's like a... It's a big festival. It's a...

It's a... It's a... It's a... No, now it's like douchebags with money. It's always been... Coachella's always been dushy. Okay. Like, it's the only time...

I mean, it was... The Pixies did their reuniting tour in, like, 2004 at Coachella. That was about the coolest thing that ever happened there. That was 11 years ago. That was 11 years ago. That was a very long time ago. I see.

Now, it's like a fashion thing where people go to be seen. And it's big name. And wear the crop top shirts. I saw blind items from Coachella. In fact, we've got one today from Coachella they'll talk about later. But this is a performance

that they had. Apparently, Drake was just kind of sitting in a chair. Madonna is... Now, is this Drake's performance? They were performing together. Which already is a little bit like what's going on there. Already a little weird, right?

So Madonna kind of snakes around him And let's watch it and I'll describe it for the listeners as it's happening Drake's sitting in a chair Madonna's snaking around She's snaking yeah she pulls his head back She leans in she just starts sucking his face He reaches up to her head at first She puts his hand down

He starts flailing his arms around and then leans forward Disgusted in grabbing his mouth And grabbing his mouth and then Madonna ambles off stage. Off stage? Whoa. Yeah. She just kind of ambles off.

That was an upsetting sight. That was unwanted. That was borderline assault. Oh, yeah. That was pretty bad. Now I understand why everybody's been talking about that all day. I figured it was just like, they're on stage. That was weird that she pushed his hand down.

He was trying to get into it and put his hand behind her head. Yeah. Yes, yes. He was guessing it. Yeah, yeah. And then she said no to that. And then he obviously was upset about it and he didn't want it to continue. Yeah, I think she bit his little.

I think she bit her tongue, or maybe, like, put her tongue in his mouth. And who wants Madonna's tongue in their mouth? I don't care. That's a gross tongue. And, oh, I feel like that could have, like, right. If, like, at first he was going for her head and I thought this was going to just be like, all right, we're on stage, whatever. And then it turned so.

awkward because she left the stage and then he did that horrific recoil afterwards. Recoil! That's the word I was looking for. It's definitely a recoil. Yeah, it was a real big recoil. But he did not look happy whatsoever. Has any of them said anything about it? Nope. Oh. Oh.

Bad. I mean, go with it. Definitely go. It's like if that's going to happen, it's going to happen. That's great. I mean, I imagine it no matter how much of a skeleton demon she looks like, Now, it is still a great fantasy for a lot of people to suck face with Madonna. Yeah.

And if it's like a, that's like at first I thought this was going to be like, I'm Drake. I have women dance on me and kiss me all the time. And Madonna's kissing me, sure. But if it's, I mean, and so if it was that, cool. But like, definitely kissing somebody when they are feeling about, not a good, not a good look. That was the most human I've ever seen Drake act. Yeah. Oh, Drake.

so human. I, oh, what are you fucking talking about? He's so sad. I hate Drake. And he just gets, he's so sensitive. What's that? Oh, that's, oh, there's this one song that makes me volatile every time I hear it. You can call that to work and not have to ask.

And then I gave it all that like this. And then I'm going to kiss you. And then, like, that's the entire song. And I heard it, I think it was last summer. Maybe. The summer before that. And it's the worst song I've ever heard, but I think it might be one of his biggest songs.

I don't like Drake's music. Come through. That's what it's called. Come through. And did you want to see? You didn't want me to hear me? Did he do to make up lyrics in this dumb fucking song? They've both released statements since then.

Oh. Yeah, very recently. They both released statements. First of all, Drake said that he was not grossed up by the kiss. It was her lipstick that grossed him out. A lipstick tasted bad is what he said. I didn't think so. Unless she was wearing old, crusty-ass lipstick.

There is no way a lipstick. Lipsick is not made to taste bad. No. Madonna's lipstick isn't going to taste so bad that you start flailing about. No, there's no way. That is a rough lie. You should have come up with something better than that. That's the best they could come up with. That's it.

They had to come up with something fast, and that was the best Drake's team. could do. That's rough. That's that. That's a bad lie, man. And apparently Madonna, she said on her Instagram, Madonna shared an image on Instagram of her, Drake's and Drake's Kiss writing,

no caption necessary at Coachella. Hashtag best night. Hashtag big as Madonna. Hashtag bitch, I'm Madonna. And then she posted another picture with the words, if you don't like me and still watch everything I do. Bitch, you're a fan.

She is 56 years old. Oh, man, that is... I mean, to be fair, bitch ain't right in that stuff. Bitches got a bitch that is right in that stuff. Well, she also said when she went out, after she kissed him, she yelled, bitch, I'm Madonna,

which is apparently her new thing. Which, to be fair, if I was Madonna, I would be reminding people that I was Madonna a lot. I don't think you need to. Bitch, I'm Madonna. What is this, what is this, 2001? But also she's a bit. Not even that.

It's like 98. Yeah. And she's also acting like she's 14 years old. Betch, I'm Madonna. But might I, if I may psychologize Madonna for a minute. Please. Put off my psychology hat.

And perhaps Madonna is feeling a bit of menopause. Like her empire has slipped from her grasp between her fingers. Oh, so her claws are coming. She, because she's older now and nobody wants a sexy Madonna who's 56. And so she's, maybe she's just pissed about that.

And she's like, I'll make you talk about Madonna. Bitch and Madonna. Well, then, not saying it's okay. I'm just trying to. No, no. It's very possible. Well, she also just did that stand-up thing recently as well. Yeah, I didn't watch that.

Yeah, she's had a big week. I didn't watch it either. I didn't watch it either. Because I didn't want to. I just didn't care. I was not to watch it. Yes. I just saw everyone talking about how she did stand-up and everyone's like,

why is Madonna doing stand-up? Yeah. And of course she didn't do well because you can't do stand-up well the first time. I was like, yeah, I saw some people being like, listen, Madonna is really good at stuff that stand-ups aren't good at. Like, she sucks at stand-up, whatever. Yeah, that was something I was like, this is just a thing, a publicity stunt. Who cares?

But it's sad. Maybe this is a publicity stunt, too, but it's a gross one. Yeah. I think both of the stuff. the publicity stunts are equally sad. Yeah. I think it's just, it's like you don't need to, why are you doing this? Just age gracefully or bitch, Madonna, bow out.

At this point, like if you only want to be seen as a sex symbol, which is completely understandable. But that she's only seen as a sex symbol. So how do you age when you're only a sex symbol? Then she's done. Then she retires. I think she probably has a fucking enough money that she can retire and be fine for the rest of her life.

And it's not, she should be seen as more than a sex symbol. I mean, she was an interesting, talented musician. And a wonderful performer. However, if, like, these kind of acts are showing that she wants to still be seen as a sex symbol, which you can't be. Not in this generation. You can't be. Honestly, no. Not in any fucking generation.

She's too old. Yeah. I mean, we're looking at fucking hot, tight women and men all the time. Then why would you want to fucking get face fucked by Madonna's tongue? But aren't there 56-year-old guys who are still relevant and hot to this generation? Isn't George Clooney like 60?

Yeah, but at the same time, do you see teenagers being like, George Clooney? No, we're saying like, we're the youngest people. I feel like our generation is the youngest that sees George Clooney as a sex symbol only because we grew up with him as a sex symbol

because now he's not hot anymore. He's old. Yeah. Oh, man. Like Barry for me. I can't imagine a 14. year old thing that Barry Mello's hot because his face is as tight as fucking my asses. So, so like people, like people who are in their 30s who grew up with Madonna, they can still feel their fun.

Madonna's goal should be like, hey, 30-year-old men, you still want to kiss me as opposed to like, hey, young people at Coachella. Hey, 22-year-olds. Yeah, I'm going to rape you. I'm 32. I'm supposed to find Madonna. I'd never really like Madonna's always been fine. Like she's always been fine and she was like in the 90s. Like she's like I don't have the same feelings for Madonna that I have, say, towards Mariah Carey.

Yeah. Janet Jackson. Oh, J-Lo? J-Lo, still there. J-Lo's still there. If you were like five years older, maybe. I bet so, yeah. If I was like five years older, definitely.

Hey, Mr. DJ. Put her a good on. She was even too old then. Yeah. In my personal opinion. Yeah. There's a baby. There's a big.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's move on to some maternity news. Uh-oh. Is it for us Kate? Oh, no, it's not. It's not.

There's a new baby, though. No baby? There's a new baby. Baby Timberlake. Uh-oh. Does the baby have the last name, Timberlake? It does. Interesting.

Good for them. Not Beal-Hiveen Timberl? No, Bealak. Not Bealak. Oh. No. Beal Lake Beal. Too much.

Too much. Timberlake Beal. What does that sound like? It sounds like a brand. Yeah. It sounds like a diamond company that kills Africans for the diamonds. Oh, get your engagement ring at Timberlake Beal.

You're a Timberlake Beal. At least 10 Afrikaans died for this. We've been mining blood diamonds since 1964. Timberlake Beal. Timberlake Beal. But your love begins. We're agreed that they did the right

thing. With just Timberlake. The kid's name is Silas Randall Timberlake. All right. This is okay. It's fine. It makes anything to silos, which makes you think of dilapidated buildings, but that's fine. And grain. Everybody's got to have a weird name.

Silas. Isn't that a name in a horror movie? Isn't that somebody that kills people? I don't know what I'm thinking of, but that immediately makes it. Cyrus? Are you thinking of Cyrus? No. Who is that? I don't know.

In Conair, Cyrus the Virus? No, I'm not thinking of Conair. Although usually it's the first movie that comes to my mind. It's the same thing with celebrities trying out weird other celebrities. How is it spelled? Is it at least spelled S-I-L-A-S? It is. Okay, that's fine.

At least that's okay. Randall isn't that weird of a name. I grew up with a kid named Randall. That's fine. Randall? He went by Randall and not Randy? He went by Randall, yeah. Interesting.

Yeah, I've never known a Randall. I've known Randy. Yeah, I also grew up with a Randy. There was Randy and there was Randall. So he had to be Randall. Yeah, I mean, well, Randy was quite a bit older than Randall. Oh, okay. So Randall was fine being Randall, and Randy was fine being Randy.

Okay with Randall. They could have been two Randi's. No one would have cared. So I wonder how they're going to be with this baby. They've been kind of out of the limelight for a bit. They have. Apparently these are both family names. Silas is Jessica Beale's father's name.

And Randall's his father's name? Randall is Justin's middle name. Okay. All right. So maybe his dad has a shit name. Or he's a shit fucking person. It's wonderful. or the other.

Yeah. I bet his dad's name is like Mooney. Yeah. Or like I rapy. Or it's just like, you know, Bill and two normal for celebrities to fucking bless their children with it. But Randall's on two. I mean, you know, I think it's like one name for one side, one name for the other

side. I can only imagine the myriad of hats this child is going to have. I'm going to call he's going to be a hat entrepreneur now. Hat baby. He's a hat bag. Little baby fedoras all of them. He's going to have hats. I hate hat babies.

I hate babies with hats. Unless it's a bucket hat. When I see... See, bucket hat's fine. Bucket hat's fine. I don't know if I've seen that many babies with hats, but whenever I see a little baby hat in the window, I'm like, oh.

Or if it's like, if it's an animal hat, I'm fine with it. Yeah. But I imagine, like, I have seen... I'm not saying baby babies. I have seen two-year-old with fedoras on, and that makes me want to punch the two-year-old to things. But I don't because it's a baby. They're our little baby, baby fedoras.

But that's because men with fedoras are given fedoras a bad name. Yes. That same baby was also wearing a cashmere sweater, so I mean, I guess. You know what I kind of like, though? I like it when people dress up babies like little boot blacks. Is that racist? No. You mean like a little punk?

A little shoe shine boys. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like orphans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like little vest and like maybe like the little orphan hat.

Yeah, that's cute. And it's just saying like, quarter for your shoe shine, gavna. See, I fucking hate that. That's what you do. You bring their hands up and that's what you do. You go up to strangers, you go, car to put up your shoes shine, gavna.

I feel like, babies ain't got no business wearing a vest. Baby ain't got no fucking business meetings to attend. Baby ain't hit no weather. I don't understand why they make baby vests in the first place. Because it's Saturday. Don't put a vest on the baby. The baby doesn't need a fucking vest. If it's cold out, put a jacket on the baby.

Or you put a shirt on the baby. That's it. Doesn't need a vest. It doesn't need a fucking fancy hat. Oh, I need a vest. I'm not. Or spit on my cordon vest. Ew, I fucking hate that baby.

Man, I hate that baby. Oh, you want baby boot black. I don't want baby boot black. I've decided a long time ago. If I ever birth a man child, I will dress it only like sailor. Okay. A sailor, oh, so you're going way back. You're just doing a different costume, Jay.

I'm doing Navy. It's a different costume. I want him to be a Navyman. Will you have a little sailor hat or a captain's hat? Yeah. Sailor hat. Yes. Not a Captain's hat.

It's too fucking young to be a captain. But a Sailor's hat, I'm fine with. All right. So you'll do Sailor's hat, but you're poo-poo and my boot black baby? But you're putting yours in bell bottoms. Yeah, because I'm going to... And that little bib on the bat. Yeah, I want to do the mother boy thing.

Oh, yeah. From arrest of development. Oh, you sure will. I, a thousand percent will. No mother boy. No mother boy. I want to dress my son just like I dress, and we're going to dress the same,

and we're going to take pictures all the time. I'm never going to touch his pee-pee in a wrong way, but I will take a lot of pictures. Not of his pee. All right, that's fine. Okay, good. All right. Let's hope, let's all hope I don't get knocked up anytime soon.

Let's really hope that that idea leaves your head before you get knocked up. You won't do the sailor thing for a daughter? No, no, no, no, no. Because women shouldn't be in the Navy. All right, it's time for the list. It's on the list. Yeah, got to have that list. When celebrities attack.

Mm. Ten paparazzi confrontations. Oh, yeah. Back in, we're speaking of Justin Timberlake. Back when him and Cameron Diaz were dating, they had a quick temper concerning any paparazzi that may have went a little too far. One time Diaz grabbed a paparazzi's camera,

ran away with it, just ran down the street. See, she didn't smash it in his face. I feel like that's okay. Yeah? Do you think that's... I think that's... That's kind of fun. That is a little bit of a prank.

Yes. I think it's just dumb. Take the camera. Yeah. Take the camera. That's like, fuck them. Yeah. I think that.

And also if they come after you for the money for the camera, she's got the money. It's like, here, here's $1,000. Go buy a new camera. You're not getting this one back. Yeah. Or be like, hey, here's the camera, but let's like sign a contract about the percentage of the money that you make from the picture that you also give to me. Ooh, I like that.

There you go. You should just have those contracts on you at all time. Yeah. You know, I was reading another. article today about what certain pictures fetched as far as what they're as far as what people would pay for him uh when charlie's theran first adopted her child people were paying $23,000 for the first picture of that child god i would hand it over in a heartbeat if someone wanted to pay that much money to see something that came out of my tight pussy i would sell the pictures so fast but i would take pictures of

child actually coming out of me. Like, oh, you want pictures? You want fucking pictures? You're going to get fucking pictures. Those will be the only ones I sell. Let's hope I become a celebrity. I'm really hoping. Avril Levine spits on them.

That doesn't surprise me. She wears ties. And I'm not against ties. I'm against punk. I was about to say, Molly, you seem like a tie type person. I'm saying, you know what I mean, though. The way she wears ties. That's what I'm talking about.

I'm so sexy. Yeah, with the sweat bands on. Skinny tie. Yeah, that's a different story. Skinny ties for skinny boys. That's what I say. Do you wear skinny ties? Sometimes when I wear a tie.

I bet you look good in a fat. I look great in a skinny tie. Double wins or not tie. The thing about skinny ties is they used to be like aspirate. They used to be so cool because everybody had their normal ties. And now thanks, I think mostly to man men or other swing, Neo swing. movements everybody wants a skinny tie now

it's like the trend I like the bolo tie best the bolo tie is pretty fantastic is that the Texas one yeah that's the one that's the one that's like little leather bands that come down yeah I think it's sexy

I love a fucking bolo tie you are living with the right man I think I chose it may be influenced a bit possibly was that in your okay Cupid profile. You know it wasn't because at the time I wanted the opposite of a polo tie. Which is?

Ooh, a big flapping dick looking for a big sad drunk pussy. Well, Chris Martin speaking of big sad pussies. He has apparently smashed car windshields and slashed the tires of photographers. He and J-Law are back together. J-law. Oh.

Why? Remind me who is Chris Martin? He is... Leeds here at Coldplay. Oh, that guy, Gwyneth person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Word on the street is that he and J-law are back together, and it, um, disgust me. That's disgusting.

She can do so much better than freak-ass Chris Martin. J-Lah is so much cooler than Goop. She should never be with somebody who's with Goop. I thought you said something else for a second. I was like, none of them are that. Goop. I know. I know what you're going on.

It's still not good to say, Jackie. I didn't say it. I'm proud of you. I didn't say it. I'm super proud of you for showing. Guados Peltro's blog. Her blog. That is appropriately titled Goop.

Um, for the final. But Chris Martin is such a weaning. Maybe. I don't understand why Jennifer Lawrence would want to be with him. Yeah. I don't get it either. I'm not sure. I guess she thinks that his music is sexy, which is gross.

No, no. Absolutely not. I mean, in the Garden State soundtrack, sure. I listen to gold play. But that was because Zach Braff was in it and I wanted to fuck Zach Brath at the time. At the time. At the time. You don't stand by that.

I mean, I had a Barry Madelow complex. Well, Matthew McConaughey, he didn't get no. He was surfing in Malibu. He's so sexy. He was surfing. And a bunch of paparazzi were on the beach. You know who fucking came and beat the show of them paparazzi's? A bunch of other surfers.

Said leave him alone. Get out of here. The brotherhood of Matthew McConaughey. Of which I am apart. Oh, that's so sexy. So a bunch of surfers were protecting him. Ooh, in their wet suits. And they were like, no, man.

We got to protect our fellow man. Yeah. Ooh, I love that. Do you think Matthew McConaughey even thanked him? Was he just like... I guarantee you it did. I bet he took him all out for drinks that night. I bet he fucking did.

You guys want to go out and get high? Cool. Let's do it. And then they went out and got high. He said, y'all want to go to a strip club? And they said, yeah. And they went out to a strip club. And then he said, all right, I'll see you all later.

And then he saw him later. Man, that's so awesome. I mean, I hate surf. men in general. But in this kind of context, they are very sexy. And also a big diverging here. I have been watching Cheers through Coach has passed. And Woody Harrelson is now on.

I'm just saying this loosely because of True Detective. And he is on. And man, he was very attractive when he was young. Woody Harrelson? Yeah. He had a chiseledness to him. He was high and tight. He was looking fucking good.

I mean, he had that dope-y-do attitude about him in the later Cheers years, and I appreciate it. He'll never be coach. No. But he's a good stand-in, and he's something good to look at. There was an advertisement for True Detective Season 2. The trailer just came out. Taylor Kitch looks so good. Good.

So good. Good. So good. It's Rickus with short hair. That's fucking bullets coming out of me. Coming out of my down south He's gonna fuck it out He looks badass

But he also looks kind of He looks torn about something What is he torn about? I don't know what he's torn about But he's torn about something He's gotta be torn Oh my God Oh my God

I cannot wait to watch that man on screen Someone a long time ago posted Something about Riggins from Fred Day Lights Saying like 23 times You wished you were in it an inanimate object when it comes

when concern with Taylor Kitch and it was like all these gifts of him like sitting on a chair backwards and him like

sucking out of a beer bottle and him like seductively turning on a lamp and I looked at all of them was just like fuck or the sun because he stares at the sun

well he has a lot to think about I'm threatening to watch it all over again Oh yeah I'm thinking kind of I don't know I'm fucking balls deep in House of Cards right now See I'm gonna get up to that Bloodline right now Yeah yeah yeah

I want I've been pushing bloodline in my house But we're balls deep in Empire Which is also excellent Excellent And then I gotta fucking go balls deep In a Daredevil now after I'm done With House of Cards Everybody's talking about Daredevil

Oh my God It was a movie right Well, it was a comic book first. There was a bit... I know there was a comic book. There was a bit Affleck movie, yes, and it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, because I'm a big Daredevil fan.

I know nothing of it. All I see on the interwebs is that it is a very good rendition of this comic book story. Yes. And I guess I should give it a watch. It's on Netflix. I'll tell you what. I'll give you one sentence, what it's all about.

One sentence. One sentence. He is a blind man. Who is a lawyer by day and kicks ass at night in Hell's Kitchen. Ooh. Yeah. New York based. Yeah.

Is the leading man blind but sexy? He is super sexy. Did you watch Boardwalk Empire? I have not. Okay. Well, I'll show you a picket. He's an Irish fella. Ooh, you've picked my interest.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Car, my girlfriend is super over the moon in love with this guy. I mean, I only watch things as long as there are attractive men in them. Everybody knows it. Yeah, his name is, what is his name? Charlie Cox. Is he a newcomer? He's not necessarily a newcomer.

Hmm. Ooh. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, right? All right. He's blind. He can't see me.

He can feel me, though. Voluptuous. Speaking of it. which it's tough of blind. Whoa, man, we can't see the daredevil, daredevil, daredevil, daredevil. All right, well, we're just going to have two today, and they're both going to be from the past. These are both way back in the day. The first one is from the 70s.

The first time this now deceased, a plus plus list singer tried to have sex with a woman. He was in an area of Studio 54 being watched by two other men who were trying to coach him. The woman he was trying and failing to have sex with. Barber Shrizan. Nope. Was a very wasted former wife of another A-plus-plus list singer who is in a permanent A-list band. So think. Dead.

Snakey. But and gay, right? Dead and gay. Well, I wouldn't necessarily say gay, actually. Just not interested in having sex with a woman? Let's go ahead and just say possibly asexual. Okay. Not a man who developed normally.

sexually, a plus plus plus singer. Michael Jackson. Yes. And. Former wife. Former wife. Biglut man. Vigloop.

Biglip. Uh, Mick Jagger. Bianca Jagger, yes. Ooh. Really? Yeah, yeah. So Bianca Jagger, Michael Jackson tried to have sex with Bianca Jacks. outside in the alley of Area 51 or Area 51.

That would be, now that's a story. Now that's a fucking story, baby. That's a story right there. It's astronaut's wife, but in real life, baby. That's a little bit of story right there. Studio 54, not Area 51. Oh, man, I wish. I fucking wish that.

Well, there are things that are permanent that never quite go away. But he was outside of the club. Michael Jackson tried to bang Mc Jagger's ex-wife. Oh, no, it wasn't outside. It was in an area of Studio 54. Oh, okay, right. But it was still in the open.

A bunch of people were coaching him. Two guys were trying to coach him, like, put it in there. Put it in there. And he's like, I don't know. And she was like, come on, put it in. And he's like, I don't know. It sounds like Michael Jackson got raped. Yeah, it does.

Kind of does. It sounds like a completely non-consensual sexual experience we had. It sounds like a bad night at Studio 54. Yeah, that's really tragic and horrible. But I'm sure everybody was blown out of their heads, so I bet they didn't see it as bad. Maybe not Michael, I don't know. Yeah. Maybe Michael, though.

Maybe. At that time period, like, I mean, how long ago was it? I mean, it was Studio 54. Who was that, 80s? 70s, late 70s, early 80s. So he was young. I mean, that's like off the wall. Yeah.

Can't don't stop till you get enough. Sounds like, sounds like he got enough. He had enough. He had enough. And he said, McCauley Colkin, are you home alone yet? Because I want to be friends. Because he was only friends. He learned expecting the dead silence.

No one had a good joke. He wasn't a pedophile, God damn. I know. He just may have slept in the same bed as a McColode. Goken. He was just looking for a friend. Everything in the 90s was got wrong. Everything was wrong. Michael Jackson was not a pedophile.

O.J. Simpson killed that woman and that man. And John Bonnet Ramsey's parents did not kill John Bonay Ramsey. Everything was wrong. That part I do want to ask you more about sometime, not necessarily, not on Mike, but not right now. Of course.

We will discuss this further later. Okay. But one more. This is old Hollywood. old old this is back in the I would say 30s 40s but you know who this woman is back in her pre-fame days this A plus plus list

mostly television actress who is a modestly successful movie star did anything she could to earn a quick buck between the chorus girl and modeling gigs yes for a brief period she was an escort she aimed high

hoping to snag a Broadway producer or a millionaire but she usually usually landed mobsters. One mobster, who was a member of Al Capone's gang, eventually became a steady boyfriend for a while. Towards the end of the relationship, he nearly killed her. After

a date night, he thought he heard a cop car siren, and he sped as fast as he could, eventually crashing the car in a ditch. Bear in mind, this was in the doldrums of winter, and the weather was below zero. Our future star was left for dead in the ditch. Her boyfriend did

get minor injuries until a passer saw the two of them and rushed them to a hospital. She was suffering from hypothermia but managed to pull through. After that night, she abandoned the escorting and the boyfriend for good. This seems it might be more up Molly's arena. I know. I really feel like... I mean, you want to talk about one of the biggest television stars of all time.

Not Lucille Ball. Yeah, Lucille Ball. What? Yeah. No. Yeah, because she didn't get famous on TV until she was a little bit older, so she would have been hustling before then. Mobsder Escort. That's awesome.

Yeah, that's great. I would love to be a mobster escort to this day. I'm not Italian enough, but I would be if I had to be. And I do want to say on HBO go, but also, I guess now anyone can get HBO now. You can do the HBO thing. all of the Iceman Chronicles All of his confession tapes

Are all on HBO Go And it is about He's a mobster hitman He was for a really really Really long time And he got away with a lot of fucking shit And it is awesome

And the movie is great too The Iceman The movie Yeah Is great But watching him His confessions And him talking to a psychiatrist

Is Bonged chilling. It is so scary. He is so devoid of emotion that like, man, it really fucking gets you. It really makes me want to marry a mobster.

So, I think that Lucille Ball had it right. But she was married to Ricky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She was married. Yeah. They had a kid. Their actual kid was like actually new kid.

Lee Ricky. Yeah. And they actually were like a like a for real power couple for a while. And then it all went to shit. Yeah, went to shit. Alcoholism, right? I think so.

I think that he was, maybe abusive. I think she ate too much chocolate at the chocolate factory. I don't think that's what it fucking was. Oh, she was in a chocolate factory. She was in a chocolate factory at one boy. I think that Desi may have been like an abusive piece of shit and I, I hope I'm wrong.

Or we see like a Cuban Coke guy. I, I, all I remember is, is at some point in my youth hearing that he was, that they had this like, You know, because can you imagine anything better?

Like, you're married to the person to do a television show with one. See, I think that sounds like a fucking nightmare. Really? You do the television show to get away from the person you're in love with. He was a drinker. And she called him a real-life nightmare.

Yeah. I mean, you know, the suave of suavees are usually a nightmare. That's what I learned from the Adams family, everybody. At the Copa. Copa, Cabo.

Caba Cabana On this spot north of Havana We gotta get out of here, guys. I know we're at the goal. Keep it going. We are with passion. We got a dance club happening here, guys.

And I hope that everybody falls in love with a mobster. I hope everybody finds a habit that they love. And I hope that they fall in love. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Nethul. I'm Margaret. Sparks and we'll see all next week. Have a great week!