Page 7 - Episode 118: What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Episode Date: May 10, 2015

It's a round up of what we've missed the last couple weeks as we cover Miss Jenner, Rihanna's pizza dress, and the new Royal baby! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Man, I would fuck the shit out of Mark Rubolo. Out of Mark Grofalo, yes. Out of the Hulk. Maybe. Maybe. Fucking, the Hulk's dick is as big as you. Yeah, no. Yeah, man, he would just rip your written head. It wouldn't even fit.

It's as big as her. It will fit. Love will make it fit. Welcome to Page 7, everybody. Oh, Lord. What a graphic way to start. Uh-oh. Everybody get ready.

It's the Cinco de Crepo. Aye, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Karama. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Nethel. I'm Marcus Parks and we've had a couple weeks off so we got a lot to catch up on. We have so much to talk about. What are we going to start off with? Are we going to start off with the woman or the baby? Uh-oh, the woman or the baby? Is it going to be a woman or is it going to be a baby? I guess we may as well just breeze through the woman bar because we have to at least bring it up. We have to at least acknowledge Bruce Jenner's interview him coming out saying what we been talking about in blind items for

almost two years now. We have been talking about this for a very long time. Yes. We have. I want to throw it out there. And we've been talking about it because in blind Adams and also for a little while now magazine covers too, right? Like even before this interview

have been all like, ooh. Yeah, look at him. He's got the long hair. He's got a ponytail. Yeah, so yes, ponytail. Oh, he's wearing track pants that are slightly feminine. What shall we do? I feel like all the things, though, I don't know if you guys watch the full interview. I sat and I watched the entire fucking thing.

I mean, I was very drunk. We both thank you for. I watched about half of it. Man, I feel like all I really learned from the interview is Diane Sawyer sucks. Yeah. How has she been in this business for such a long time? I really couldn't agree more. I was like, you are so obnoxious with your interview style.

And I knew this. Bruce, Bruce, I just want to... So you want to date men now? How many times did she ask him if he was gay? She asked him 20 different... Every time I was just like, got to finish your beer, because you have to finish your beer

every time she tried to be like, yes, but is it homosexual tendencies that have drawn you to this point? Do you think that maybe she was playing some sort of devil's advocate for America? because the majority of people, I think, out there in America who don't really, because transgender, being accepting of transgender is very new in America.

Very new. And people don't realize that gender is a thing and sexuality is a thing. And just as boys can like boys and girls can like girls, a trans boy can like girls and a trans boy can like boys. In good, seeable. It's disgusting. It's disgusting.

It's ridiculous. It was a whole boy. our song about it. Man. So I get that. Like I, like, I remember, like, years ago, I saw a documentary about trans people and, like, a very patient trans woman who was at her high school reunion. This trans woman who was married to her wife, like, from before she had come out.

And, like, everyone was like, but if you're a woman, don't you like men? And this woman was like, have you ever heard of gay women? And it was like, so I had to go through that process, too. Be like, wait, gender and sexuality are two different things. who'll and then but then so I would allow her asking it once twice maybe but in many times for clarification for clarification and for clarification for the American public being very gentleman's like so who are still like who yeah who are still very confused about the whole thing who still can't even fathom a man being comfortable in ladies clothing much less a man being

more comfortable with lady genitalia and but he also says he doesn't know whether he's going to go through surgery he's not doing the chop man he says he's not sure he's not sure he's doing the And some people don't. Some people, you know, say, listen, I identify as a woman, but I don't need surgery. And some people really need it. Some people need hormones. Some people don't. But it's, you know, it's about how you identify. No, dinner's down with the hormones. His wife, well, his first wife said that he was taking hormones back in the early 80s. He came out to her. Illegal hormones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in fact, the son asked like, Mommy, why does daddy have boobies? And she had to tell her, it was like, well, he's very out of shape. That's an interesting thing that they brought up, though, because this is, that's all. also apparently something that trans people have been doing for years since like since there

since like doctors also are like what so like people have been like you know people take their friends or sisters birth control pills and take estrogen and like are like hey this makes me feel better so it was kind of like DIY hormone therapy just drink a bunch of fucking soy milk it's chock full of estrogen i i also want to mention that the other main thing i really got from watching this Bruce Jenner interview was that I have to see it I don't know I'm sure you guys remember the three women

what was his name the guy that kept three women in his house Ariel Castro Ariel Castro that kept three women in his house for like 12 years repeatedly raped them did all these things so in the commercials for the Bruce Jenner

interview was that Diane Sawyer is having a breakthrough interview of all three of them She's a terrible interviewer. It's going to be awful. But what made me, I'm going to say, the first time I've been offended in 10 years, was that what they played over the commercial was,

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Stand a little taller. Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone. You mean when they were kept in separate rooms and raped for 12 years and then beaten every time they got fucking pregnant with his church? That was awful. I was so offended and they kept playing every fucking commercial break.

You're kidding. It made me sick to my stomach. It was like, that's about, that's about someone leaving you. That's about a breakup. It's not about being raped for 12 years. It was a breakup of a sort at the end. Yeah, breakup of their livelihood and their childhood and all their self worth to the reality of what they were living in.

And that's like for real, I can't remember what this was, but it was something, an interview, I can't remember what it was, but it was something about a trans woman, and the soundtrack was, dude looks like a lady, which is just like, oh, come on. Come on. At least that's a little funny.

At least it's kind of funny. Did they have like a record scratch yet? But she is really a he. And it's like, and dude is like a lady. And it's like, listen, I'll give it to Mrs. Doutfire, but not appropriate for like a Bruce Jenner interview.

Yeah, Mrs. Stoutfire is just fun cosplay. Yeah, they got it, right? But, like, yeah, that Kelly Clarkson, that is Kelly Clarkson, right? What doesn't kill you? Yes, yeah, it is. Oh, yeah, that's not appropriate. It's really upsetting.

Especially as, like, a drunker because, you know, finishing your beer every time she asked if he was gay, really gets you to a certain place when you're watching something for two hours. One other highlight from the Bruce Jenner interview was that fucking Kanye was the one who convinced Kim to be accepting of her. I feel like that's all. A lie. Really? Yes, I do. I feel like in a thousand percent.

What's in it for Bruce Jenner to be like, my own daughter, stepdaughter, was being non-accepting. And then you think Kanye like bribed Jenner to say that? You never know. But also it's like, but it just makes him also be like strong to a very masculine man. Like I feel like it's like, no, no, there's really masculine man that everyone really likes is saying like, no, this is cool. and you feel like he utilized that

to be like, see, he thinks it's cool and like he's scary and mean, so everyone else should feel like. And it makes Kanye look good as well. Yeah, but... It makes everyone look good. And that's the thing is that Kim Kardashian, she needs no capital.

She doesn't need any sort of, I guess, celebrity capital because she's just Kim Kardashian. But Bruce Jenner needs it. But Bruce Jenner needs it. And Kanye West needs it. So I'll give you that. And who's her damn ex-husband? been Chris Humphreys, is that him?

He was like, oh, I got out of the family just in time. So he decided to be a dick about it, right? So it actually, it does make Kanye look even better, like, oh, Chris Humphreys, you're a transphobic dick. Kanye's all like, yeah, I'm awesome, I get it. But even so, I think that it was a, that even if it was

all a ruse for publicity, I thought it was a noteworthy moment that where we're at in terms of acceptance right now, in terms of culture, is that, like, the number one super masculine, super macho hip-hop star can like the right choice for him is to be like yeah, yeah, be yourself, right?

It's hard to imagine that happening five years earlier. But I do want to point out that he openly said that not Chloe, not Courtney, the one, OJ Simpson's kid. Chloe. Chloe. I think that is Chloe.

It's Chloe. Chloe. So Chloe Kardashian is the one that's the most against him changing. Which I think is interesting. thing because is it because he's not really her father? Is that why she really feels that way? I mean, that's part way, but she's also got

that evil OJ blood. Yeah, man. A murderous blood that runs through her veins. I don't know if I knew that Chloe was O. We talked about it. Did we? I mean, it's not confirmed. It's not confirmed. No one wants to say it. But she's black. She's definitely black.

She's not his kid. She doesn't look like Courtney or Kim, and I know that some people don't, but she doesn't look all like Chris Jenner. She looks like O.J. Simpson. She doesn't look. Well, it's not Chris Jenner. It's Robert Kardashian. Robert Kardashian.

Yeah, yeah. She's supposed to be Robert Kardashian. It's her whole facial structure. Yeah. I never, I don't, I'm sure, I believe that we talked about it, but I don't think that it registered in my head. In my head told us now. O.J. Simpson's daughter, murderer blood in her veins, which you know what? Not every transphobic person is a murderer, but every murderer is sad.

Yeah, here, here. You heard it first on page seven. But yeah, I agree. Diane Sawyer, you suck. I actually thought that Jenner handled it the whole circus quite gracefully, as much as gracefully as you can handle such a thing. But as the whole thing ended, I was just like, Diane Sawyer, change your style, girl.

She sucks. And I feel like I have to watch the Ariel Castro girls interview because she's going to be like, so, did you choose? choose to be in that house. Like, what are you talking about? Tell me, are you now sexually? Different? Different? Are you different now?

After? Your orientation, is it? Now, different? After? Just so, ugh. Just ask the question. It's so concerned. Save your concern for another day, Diane.

She has a furrowed brow that could just cover the entire universe. Yeah, it's true. The whole earth furrows into itself when she furrows. I agree with you. Thank you. And she's a Kentuckian as well. Interesting. Yeah, she's from Glasgow, Kentucky.

Man, she really masks that accent, huh? She does. Can you imagine how different it would be? So, y'all, are y'all gay? Y'all gay? You putting dicks inside the asses? Actually, that would make a lot more sense if she was asking those questions. So you're sure you're not gay.

You're sure. Because I'm about to throw up in my mom. mouth if you are. Does it change? No, it changes. Who you want to fuck. But where's your dick gonna go?

Are you gonna, like, throw it away? Or are you gonna keep it? Are you gonna stuff it and put it up on your mantle? Who are a keychain? That'd be real fun. That'd be fun. I don't know.

Why'd you show me? How big the keychain gonna be? I remember when you were on the Wheaties box. Well, there's all kinds of great big stuff happening this week as well. We got a new royal baby. Princess, princess, we got a princess. I love it. I love her name.

Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. Got to throw the Diana in there. Got to? Had to have the Diana in there. What I didn't realize, which actually just blew my normal mind, as opposed to just my celebrity gossip. I was going to say it. As opposed to what?

Is that Charlotte? is the female version of Charles. And I did not know that. That is why she's named Charlotte. That is, wow. Right? I never would have thought it. I was like, oh my God.

Yeah, and Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth, they got all of them in there. They got all of them in there, man. It's pretty fucking crazy. You know, I think I had thought that at some point, maybe sometime long ago, like Charlotte, Charles. But I sure didn't think that when I saw this baby's name was Charlotte, And I was like, who's named Charlotte?

But how cute is, I love the name Charlotte. I mean who royally is named Charlotte. Yeah, so it's just the female version of Charles. Interesting. Man. They don't call her charlowe. Are they going to call her Charlo? Is this Charlo? No. They're not fucking French. That's fine. Definitely not French.

Is it just me or is this world maybe gotten a lot less fanfare than the first one? she's not going to be the king someday. That's why. Well, this is a weird thing, though, is that she is actually fourth in line for the crown. She could conceivably be the monarch one day, even if

another boy is born after her. So usually if there's, you know, a few people, usually the male, the female always goes to the back of the line. Every time there's a male coming in, always goes to the back. Out of the way. But because of some weird monarchastic rule,

she has a firm place in line. And so she has the first opportunity in almost a thousand years for this to happen because of some sort of weird bobbity boo with the monarchists. Oh man, they're bibbidi-Bobbidi-boos. I forgot that. They came out and they're wearing up there from a fucking magic wand on her. So it's Charles and then it's William and then it's what's his face, hottie? Yeah, Harry.

And then it's George, though, right? Yeah, and then it's George and then it's Charlotte. And then it's if they pop... Because Kate says she wants a third. Of course. She's going to be popping him out for the next fucking 15 years. Well, she's 33. She told a friend that she wanted to have three kids by 35.

Damn. So she's going to have another one just coming out real soon. She looks so beautiful. And she was out of the hospital and beaming nine hours up to birth. And wearing a nice dress, it's just ridiculous. What I also really like, though, is that apparently the midwives that she worked with with George, she had them on call for the past month because she wanted only them to deliver her next child.

Because she trusts them and she likes them a lot, which is also, I feel like unheard of when you're like a royalty, when you're like, just bring in the slave. Get the slave. Get the hands on the side of my uterus. Take it out as if an angel upon a cloud. And then murder the slave. No comment herself see my vagina.

That was pretty cool, though. Did, okay, so Elizabeth, she's the queen, right? And her husband, who's dead, was Philip? Yeah. And which one of them was the biological royalty and which one of them married in? Are they all biological because they're all fucking each other? I believe Philip was the biological one.

So she gets to be the queen, but only because she married the king, right? Yes, she was from Jesus. What is her genealogy? She was fucking wrong. I'm sorry, I'm asking a lot of complicated questions. It's so, fuck, yeah, the monarchy in England. In fact, I'm kind of glad that I don't know. Yeah, no.

But the reason I thought is, like, how does this girl get to be, like, basically, meaning this girl would get to be queen without, not because she married a king, because she was just born a fucking princess queen. I don't understand. Then why can't Kate Middleton be queen? Yeah, why isn't she queen? Because she didn't, she married, she's a commoner. She married in. Yeah, she's a commoner.

Usually if they marry in, then it's king and queen. But the other person is already royalty is in like they have an alliance. So Spain needs some ships. It's Game of Thrones rule. Do they still do that, though? Is that still a thing that how is he allowed to marry a fucking commoner? That's why it was a big kerfuffle. Yeah, it was a kerfuffle.

It was a kerfuffle. But, you know, since that shit doesn't matter anymore because they're not a fucking because they're a constitutional monarchy these days. Because there's no other kings or queens around really Even for them to like fuck with I mean there are but they're all in the Middle East And they're fucking insane I have to marry Harry

How do I figure this out? Can I be his kind of girl? I stop you know I've been cutting back on my sugar Maybe now he's like he wants a sugarless girl And I'll be hit it for him You're not gonna be able to be queen though Just princess

That's fucking fine I'll be a princess I'll pop him out I'll pop them man I'll fucking pop them all So does that mean if William becomes king, does what's her name, the commoner, become queen? Or does she stay a princess? I believe she becomes queen, but she is exempt from succeeding him as queen.

Like, say, for example, let's bring it over to Game of Thrones. I know you're not going to get this because you don't watch it. I sit in the room while it is on. Okay. Well, you know, like say it goes down, there's going to be some spoilers, but like three-year-old spoilers, so fuck you. So, King Robert Barathean dies. Then Jeffrey Baratian, his son. But Joffrey, Baratian, but his son becomes king, not Queen Searcy.

So. Even the let's say, be honest here, she was kind of the king. She was kind of doing her fucking thing. I mean if, I mean if, you know, I just. Yeah, if I can just, you know. We could just. Are we laughing about how she was fucking her brother? No, and also it's like she may as well have been running the fucking show.

I see because she was a meet. But also her brother wasn't king. He was a prince. Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, he was, yeah. Her brother was, no, her brother was a king's guard. Yeah, he was king's guard.

He wasn't because it was just her brother. Oh, yeah. She does run the show around there. Yeah. She's married. Queen, queen cat of the castle. Queen kitty. Ew, kitty.

I see. So she can be queen, but a, I don't know. She can't just be queen and in charge. A king has to come up and be above her. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think it's, I honestly don't know how Queen Elizabeth became Queen. Queen Queen.

It could have been because maybe Philip died before she gave birth to Charles. I don't know what's up with Philip. Dead. I mean, I know he's fucking dead. I don't know what was up with him when he was alive. What he was like. Elizabeth the second. It's just, she's just, it's very confusing.

She's never going to die. No, she's been around. 89. Yeah, man, she's still fucking rocking it. She's getting shorter, you know? Yeah. Tiny and tiny. She's tiny, man.

She kind of looks like the female Gremlin and Gremlin, too. If she wore more makeup. A lot of women look like the female Gremlin and Gremlin, too. I guess that's true. Yeah, they really hit upon a chord of humanity there, didn't you? You got to watch Gremlin's too. You have to.

There was somebody else who looked like the female gremlin who we spoke about. A lot of people. A lot. It's a lot. Was it Madonna? Because Madonna would be up there. There was one person in particular who we talked about on this very show. But I can't remember what it is now.

It'll come to me. She's a cacha. The female gremlin is a cautionary tale in plastic surgery. Oh, yeah, man. Tight and weird big lips. Yeah. Super weird, super big lips. It's very disturbing.

I wouldn't recommend Botox to any. You know, I couldn't suck my lips into a Gatorade bottle. You tried it? I mean, I kind of half-ass tried it. But I put my lips into it, but it's hard to suck it against your face when your lips are in size or something. Yeah, you'd have to really, like, focus on it. I think that's why all of the, I think that's why the girls had, like, the bruises all around their mouths, because you can't just put your lips only into it and have it suck against your face.

I tried it. I heard my students talking about it. I told them not to do it. I was like, children, don't listen to what's her name, Kylie or Kendall or whoever it is, Jenner. Don't do it. Man, she has had fucking crazy face work done. She looks just like Kim Kardashian now. Really?

Yeah. Oh, it would be hard to be the sister of Kim Kardashian. You'd want to look just like her. Oh, she's doing fucking line. I know. I think she's, yeah, no, if you're the fat sister, like Rob, who's like been put into a closet away forever, because he's too fat. ugly to really be a Kardashian. Yeah, because they put him away. Yeah. And they're rid of them. And so there's some kids who are, who are Jenner's kids, right? Bruce Jenner's kids. The younger ones, yeah.

Uh-huh. All right. And then there's the ones who are the Kardashian people's kids. Yeah, and there's the one that's O.J. Simpson's good. Got it. God, you imagine. I bet they really had hot sex, though, Christian or and O.J. Simpson. Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, I mean, O.J. Simpson, I would imagine he would be a, I don't want to use the word passionate. Yeah, no, no, no, like bloodthirsty? Yeah, that's the word. Bloodthirsty one. Wearing gloves the entire time, just in case. Put on this blonde wig.

That's fun. Well, it's time for the list, all right. Yeah, we're going to have that list. Yeah, I got to have that list. We're going to go with the six most talked about dresses at the Met Gallo. Ding, dong. Man, was that, wasn't the, what's the JZ? Yes, last year.

That was last year. That was a year ago? Wow. In Solange? Yeah, in the fight in the elevator. And Jerry has a song about it. You know, some shit goes down when there's a million dollars in the elevator. Mama, mama, mama.

Of course you had to make a fucking song about it. These people, these singers making songs about things. I do want to throw out there. I can't remember what Mariah Carey's new song is. It is awful and it's all about fucking Nick Carter. Nick Carter, Nick Carter. It's all about him. And there wasn't a music video release,

but there was like a sing-along video released. Maybe there was a music. We watched the single-long video. Did they get divorced? Oh, yeah. Because you guys told me that a little while ago. Yeah, because he had that huge tattoo that said Mariah on his back. And they did an over tattoo of it of Jesus Christ on the cross.

So, yeah, I mean, you know, the two loves in his life, I guess. Jesus Christ and Mariah Carey. Did they change it to say Messiah? That would have been really fucking good. No, no, no, they just etched right over it. Made him really fucking bleed hard. Just block letters over. Jesus.

Wow. No, it's actual picture of him. His arms out and on the cross across his back. And Mariah Carey's song, Infinity. stalling on both radio and iTunes. It is bad. So some of her people, some of her fans have taken to change.org,

and this is their petition. Mariah Carey is the most important female artist in the history of music. Yikes. She needs another number one hit, and despite the fact that everybody loves Infinity, radio stations are refusing to play the song. This is only because Mariah is a proud African-American woman

who recently married and divorced an African-American man. That is not why. Racism in the music industry needs to stop. The music, the song, I love Mariah Carey. The song, I'm listening to it. It was like, where are those notes, girl? You got to hit that notes. So the entire song, really, really bad.

And then in the very last, like, part of the song, it just going, her going, for like 25 seconds. And I don't know why. I listen to the song three times in a row. And it is just, I don't know why. Is this it right here? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, man, the lyrics, though, are really fucking supreme. It is. Yeah, here's the video. And they're only showing pictures of her in the background of her really young. Oh, yeah, she's not that young anymore. That's your bag. That's your bag.

That's your bag. Yeah, that's bad. Curtains. This was made in a PowerPoint present. You ain't so corny like Fritos. None of my business is Tito. Please, everyone watched this video. This doesn't sound like her at all.

Oh, there's a door. There's a key. There's a math. To infinity. Oh, it's cursive. This is really a PowerPoint presentation. The worst thing At the end, it goes into something

It's more than just the main It's diagonal text Oh, wow 8 fucking butterfly That was a good fucking album Get those butterflies off that And that was also 20 motherfucking years ago And all of the pictures behind it are all of her

During like her butterfly years It is so sad I was really fucking upset Take out the picture that they're using for... Yuck. It is pretty yucktastic. Sorry, I didn't mean to throw that in before the whole Metsgall thing, but I just had to bring it up. It needed to be talking about.

I had to bring it up. I mean, but you know what man? Okay, let's, I mean, Mariah Carey, her days are past. You know, it's, it's time for her to hang it up. But the one woman who I am starting to believe will always be hot forever is fucking Beyonce. say. Look at this woman's, it's like a see-through. It's like, it's a see-through sparkle fucking dress that is sexy as fuck.

She looks almost naked and yet it's still tasteful. It's so tasteful. It's so classy. It's shocking. She looks so good. She looks like she's dressed in a dream. She looks so good. Her body is amazing.

No, it's an Angels cloud. That's what she's fucking on right now. And yeah, she looks great. And it's so sad because it's like they just. I think about their sex life often. Probably too often. Me too. The other day in the shower,

I spent a good 10 minutes wondering whether or not they were in love. Yeah, you're rubbing the old man in the canoe. It was more, I actually think about their love life more than their sex life. I was like, how would I feel if they were purely a construction?

And I decided I wouldn't change how I felt about them. I would still love them. No, you know, it's like they're arranged marriages all the time. Yeah. That's what you have to do. But then sometimes you're Jay Z and you get arranged with an ass-wise.

like ass. She looks so good. She is a mother. She's a mother. And I know it's been a few years with damn. Well, she's a mother, but we don't know if she's a mother. We don't even go away to that. We won't even go away to that.

The imploding pregnant belly on Oprah. Good God. And there were, of course, some big duds. Uh-oh. Look at Sarah Jessica Parker's big weird flamehead. Oh, wait. Sarah Jessica. Come on. What is it?

The Meg gal is like, it's like a costume ball of sorts. And this year the theme was looking at China. She looks, exactly. Although she got a spot on because I was about to say, what's that little, the funny little dragon in Moulon? Yeah, that's, yeah. She looks like he's dead and laying on her head. She looks like she's wearing Jafar's hat.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, that's a little too Arabic, I think. Looking at China is a theme that invites wait. too much casual racism. I just imagine her, yeah, with that hat on being like, Jing-jong, jing. And you're like, Serge is where you really can't be fucking doing this. Everyone's like, stop it, Sarah Jessica.

Well, some people are actually saying that Rihanna, you know, you're saying like, there's a lot of opportunity people to be kind of fucked up. People are giving Rihanna a lot of, I guess, accolades because she actually just went and got a Chinese designer. Like, she didn't do like, oh, I'm going to do like a Chinese designer. I'm going to do like a Chinese theme. I'm not going to do dragons. That's fairly classy.

Yeah, that is classy. And her dress looked cool, I thought. I mean, it's weird. I mean, it looks like a big pizza. It's weird. Oh, she does look like a pizza. Oh, my God. She looks like an olive onion pizza.

Yeah. I mean, it's a pizza I'd motherfucking eat. Yeah, I know you'd eat it. And people, I saw some people comparing her to Bell from Beauty and the Beast because she's the same color dress. And Big Bird. What you're talking? Uh-uh.

Fell didn't look like that. She didn't have a weird fur. Ooh, yuck. You know what? I take it back. I don't think she looks good. I think she looks ugly. I think that's bad.

It's pretty, it's kind of bad. Orange fur? The fur, I don't know about. But the big dress, I think, is neat. She looks like a pizza girl. She looks like a pizza. But I don't know if she's on your list, but Janelle Monet looked awesome. I didn't see her on there.

She is hot. I love her. I love her outfits. I want to look like her. She's really, really cool. And her outfits. Have you ever listened to Janelle Monet? Nope.

Tight rope. Oh, man. It's on the tight rope. Oh, I love Jean-L-Money. But she looks good. She always looks good. Oh, yeah, she does look all right. She looks like a video game villain.

Does she? Yeah, look at that. Yeah. Yeah. She's like the boss you meet halfway through the game. Molly, she is. Molly, I think you have a thing for capes. I think you do have a thing for capes.

Remember Solange? Remember her wedding outfit? You like her wedding outfit. I loved it. That's a bad cape, though. She looks like she's got the velvet drapes that movie theaters have on. I'm really good at criticizing outfits. I have no fashion myself. I'm wearing my Ross Safari shirt with the three lions on it.

You know what it is with both Solange and Jean-L Monet? It's not capes as much. which is it is pants informal wear. I know what I want a pants suit. I definitely want a pants suit. Solange was wearing a good pants suit and a cape at her wedding and she looked great. I think it's the pants part. The problem is a lot of people have been wearing the rompies, and I tried on rompie.

And if there's one thing of fat girls shouldn't wear, it's rompies. I hate rompies. And also, I'm going to throw it out there. There's one thing that fucking skinny girl shouldn't wear. I don't think anybody should wear a fucking rompies. Nobody should wear rompies. They look awful. There's one body type.

They look like you're full of dump dump dump. And not as bad as a drop pants, but it's definitely a dump, dump, rompy. I think that it's, I think the only, I've seen one woman look fantastic, and she's 6, 3, and 100 pounds. She's going to look fantastic wearing anything. Close, too. Not just skinny girls, but tall as skinny girls. Because if I wore one and I'm not that skinny, but I would look like a little baby. Well, you would look like a toddler.

You would look like a toddler needing a baba. Yeah, with your pants full of dump-dump. I would look like a little roly-poly baby. Because they make you seem a little bit, you know, puffy because rompies don't, they're not... Yeah, it looks like you have a dipy on the ompe. I'd walk up to you to ask if you knew your mom's cell phone number so I could call it. I think she's lost. Extra room for a, yeah, you know, they're roomy in the seat for a dumpy.

So you got to be over six feet and long blonde hair is what I do. It's rough though. I mean, just quick sideline. I got to throw it out there. The fashion for this summer is a little rough. Yeah. What is the fashion for this? It's 90s, but it's like crop tops on girls that show me wear on crop tops.

And also it's the tiny buddy part of your butt, like the poochie on the bottom that's hanging out of the bottom of your pants, which is fine. But the problem is that like where I live It's very fashionable But it's girls like bitch I can see not only your cellulite up on top Your thighs, but I can see your cellulite Pouring through the bottom of your shorts

Because they're all in their late 20s and no matter what Girl you got cellulite everybody has it That's how it is and so all of it It's like I see Pudgy Girls they make crop tops in my size And it's like I don't That's the last part of my body I want a fucking show And they're all out

I'm seeing fucking poochy belly buttons all over the place. And they got the elastic wedge shoes on, like in fucking Clueless. But the difference is that Sharon Clueless was hot. You got a dress, you have to be hot to wear it. Otherwise, you look like a dump. You look like a dump on a human being. Yeah, I don't. I never see any of the fashion because I only ride two trains all the time.

The C train and the G train. Oh, yeah. No one's going to be fashion on it. Yeah, no one's going to be fashionable on the C train or the G train. No one. Yeah. You just get to see a bunch of cool black teenagers, and that's pretty much it. So you get to see what all the white kids are going to be wearing like two years.

I was going to say, it's actually the best fashion. It's just fashion forward. I don't even mean to be like shamy or prudy, but the ass is hanging out the shorts. I just don't know if it's flattering again. Anybody except people who weigh like 95 pounds. And even that, it's just like, ah. Ah. Yeah.

I mean, I love an ass. I love it too, but I want to, yeah, and I, like I said, I feel like prudy, like, I don't want to see your ass. But I think that it's a reason, it would be like having like a, like, like, it's wedgy in the front, wedging in the back. Exactly, exactly. I don't like. Is that, mm? Well, yeah. Like, it would be like if, if a shirt came down to right below your nipples. Yeah. Well, that's the problem, too, is a lot of the crop tops is like you see the bottom of the bra, which is great if you have a good stomach. And there's a lot of skinny people that don't have good stomach And it's like And this girl today

Ugh I just it was like fat rolls were like rubbed up inside of her fucking crop top And it's like I am not a thin person I'm not judging the fat I'm judging the shirt girl Sorry I know Marcus you have nothing to contribute on these things But I just wanted to say that I'm pretty upset about the fashion of the summer No I get a bad stomach

I'm a skinny guy with a bad stomach Look this thing Bad stomach Oh you do have a bad stomach We're also sitting down. No one has a good stomach sitting down. It's not very good sitting up either. Maybe we all need to start doing our crutches.

Maybe. I don't have a good stomach. I don't think so. I'm not going to be doing crunches anytime soon. I can't stand crunches. All right, it's time for blind eyes. Yeah, we can't see him. What a list actor with a plus list name recognition

shocked on lookers at the premiere of his latest film. He's been hitting the bottle hard, and it's showing. Possibly somebody who's hitting the bottle hard because of a certain movie that came out about an organization that he's involved in. No way. Can't be fucking John Tra. He is hitting the bottle hard out there. Yeah, but what about his exercises at 3 a.m.? There's no way he can look bad with exercises at 3 a.m.

Yeah, but man, I feel like that torque you get. but just like pounding on a guy that doesn't really want it. I mean, that's got to build up some kind of calorie loss. Right? I'm not saying rape. I'm just saying someone that doesn't really want it. Just not very good consensual sex. Not very good consensual sex.

That's what I'm talking about. We've all had it once and twice. We've all had. You consented, but as it's happening, you're like, I wish I wouldn't have. I didn't say it. And my consent is ongoing, and yet I'm not thrilled with this. I'm not happy about, I'm not happy with myself or with you at all. Right, right.

I like that a lot. Oh, poor guy. What about gummy? What's the name? Gummy bear. Yeah. How is it? I still am dumbfounded that it has nothing to do with gummy bears,

bouncing here and there and everywhere. No, it has to do with the Swedish gummy bear. No one's bouncing, no one's bouncing here, no one's bouncing there. No one's bouncing anywhere. Is it made of gummy? It's, it might be made. a gummy, but I'm not sure. If it bounces, what will happen? Is there secret

gummy berry juice? I don't think, I don't think. It's gonna go here and there everywhere. I fucking guarantee it. I've got to look, gummy bear John Travolta. We, I mean, I do, why do I not have this memorized? I don't know. It's just gummy bear the movie. I don't, I don't,

everywhere. I don't think. I don't think. They are the gummy bears. They are the gummy bears. They are the gummy bears. And there's still no... There's no... There's been no updates since August 17... Oh, maybe because he's in the middle of going clear!

Yeah, I'm like that. He's hitting the bottle hard. And it could be that, you know, he's having some doubts about his little club. Poor man. Poor man. He needs help. This next one's weird.

There was a time when this comic actor was A-list. It could be argued that because he was taught Bill. in a handful of movies. He was a plus list. Now he's a B-minus list actor in spending all his money and destroying his Vaca side business because of his hardcore meth use. Who out there? Which actor's got Crystal Skull Vodka? Oh, I don't know who owns that. But he's a comedic actor? He's a comedic actor. Part of the original Saturday Night Live cast.

Chevy Chase? No, Dan Aykroyd. Yes. We're interesting. It's not that enough to be a methhead. I don't know. I mean, when's the last time you saw Dan Akro? I don't know.

Show me a picture, Marcus. No, we'll see Dan Akk. Ackyroid. Oh, man. I had no idea. I just... I think it's a new... It seems like it's a new thing.

I talk about it a lot, but, man, the Great Outdoors is still one of the best movies I've ever seen. I love that movie. I love that. It's summer. Now is the time to watch a great... outdoors, look it up, it's perfect. Yeah. Okay, here's the last picture. This is from the SNL 40. Oh yeah, he was there.

Because he had gained all that weight, which is obviously from alcohol. I didn't realize he owns skull. What was it? Crystal Skull Vodka. I didn't know that. Yeah, he's got his own vodka brand. Is it that vodka that comes in a skull? Yes. That's Van AdWords. And it's the official vodka of the Rolling Stones as well. But vodka doesn't, you know, make you gain any weight. True. He's probably not drinking only vodka, though. Probably not.

Is he a meth head? He could be. But still. They say he's a mess. He's a ghost buster. But maybe he's been busting ghosts. Maybe that's his problem. Maybe he's filled with ghosts.

Maybe it's that's why the new poltergeist remake, which we haven't talked about, which makes me want to fucking throw up. Maybe that's why it happened. Maybe it's his poltergeist. It could be. You never know. And is possible. It makes me want to fucking throw up.

Have you seen a trailer? No, I haven't. I'm not going to. Yuck. There are certain things that I just refuse to participate in. Yuck. I bet it is. It sounds like it.

It sounds like it. It sounds like it is. I'm sorry. I just like it when you get really upset. It makes it really. It's upsetting. Because you want to see something fucking scary? Watch poltergeist.

And then they have the whole clown thing. It's like it's not even scary. It's too much. They're so too much. They shot. Oh. And then she gets pulled up the stairs. That's like what's like, oh, special effects.

They always get pulled up the stairs. No. She's in the fucking. TV, that's scary. You don't need to see her get into the television. You don't see any of it. Have you seen Boulder guys? No. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. It's great.

Yeah, yeah. Coach is in it. I love coach, also. And the second one is also really fucking good. Indian burial ground. I'll watch it. You move the gravestones, but you didn't move the bodies. You didn't move the bodies.

You didn't move the bodies. Or you moved the game stones. I just wonder if people are going to die. on the set of Poltergris or right afterwards the way people did in the first Poltergeis. Very big curse. Why would they remake such a curse?

Why would they remake the cursed movie? It's a cursed. The whole franchise is cursed. I would not want to be involved with that. I mean, if you get paid a bunch of fucking money. I'd risk a curse for a bunch of cash. Yeah? Oh yeah.

Me too, for sure. So this next one, this last one, this is funnier if you know who it is going in. Uh-oh. It's Captain America. Ooh, sorry. It's Chris Evans. Yeah, yeah, it's Chris Evans.

Everyone knows Chris Evans. It says usually it's an actress who takes away more than they should from swag suites. But when it's a new Samsung, then the guys get interested too, probably too much. This A-minus list superhero who was supposed to get two phones for coming, he took about 25. And when someone said something to him, he stared them down while. piling phones into the bag he brought. That makes me really attracted to him. Yeah, I already like him.

I already like him. I openly clapped about that. That's great. Staring him down, just putting the fucking phones. What are you going to do with those phones? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? I'm fucking kidding.

But what is Chris Ebbis is going to do with? I guess he'll give him to his family. Yeah, or just hand him out. Who fucking cares? I'm sure he'll hand him out to family and friends. That's awesome. That's great. I love that.

that blind item. That's wonderful. That actually makes me retroactively even happier that I saw the Avengers when I did. I like him. Wait, is he in the new Avengers? Yeah. Of course. He's Captain America. I don't fucking know.

Watch the first one which, you know, we didn't get to because we don't really fucking care. The Jeremy Renner called Scarlett Johansson's character, a slut. And the Avengers, because she is a fucking slut. Because that's what she's fucking doing. But because that's all I remember from the Avengers, we drink a whiskey.

at his time, but all I remember was Scarlett's ass. But I don't know if you're a slut if you only spend the entire movie trying to fuck Bruce Banner. She has no powers. Why is she there? I don't know. But you know what, but Jeremy Renner's fucking character

doesn't have any superpowers either. He's got arrows. Yeah, but that's not power. Anybody can pick up a bow and arrow. He's really good at it. Yeah, well, she's really good at wearing a tight suit. Okay, but you know what then? Jeremy Renner, also a slum. He's an arrow slut. And Scarlett Johansson is just a slut.

But slut. She's a bot slut. She's a bot slut. I fully support everything he says, I love how much she's like, but she's a slut. Which is what his reaction was when people were like, you called her a slut. He's like, yeah, she's a slut. If slut means sleeping with a lot of people. She's trying to fuck the Hulk.

She's got no powers with him there. One person. She's a slut for Hulk. She wants to run away and settle down with the Hulk. That's the opposite of slutty. I think it's fucking. I mean, he's mostly going from the Black Widow from the Marvel universe

comic books because in the Marvel universe Black Widow fucks a lot. There you go. Black Widow does fuck Oh, one. Yeah, but does she go which is her murdering them afterwards? E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E.

That's all for today's Big Saga. Oh my God, I missed it. I love you guys. I like you. By my Miley Neffau. Bye his time. Charlotte for the win