Page 7 - Episode 120: Next

Episode Date: July 13, 2015

It's a hodgepodge kinda day on P7 this week as we talk about the new Cannibal Cop documentary and play a fantasy game of erotic dice with Coach Taylor and Tammy. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Didn't realize how much I was addicted to sugar. Yeah. Also getting harder every day. Yeah, we both got our addictions that we're kicking. Yeah, we're trying to kick them. It's a break, break down. Send it with me on down. Call yesterday.

To basically say that you care for me, but that we're just not in love. Please tell me you don't know that Mariah Carey song. It is one of my favorite for Ryan Carey songs. I listen to about six or seven times today. Why don't you want us to know it if it's your favorite? I can't believe that you don't know. You should know it. Breakdown.

Breakdown. Yeah, and it's about her having a breakdown because she loves this guy and he wants her back, but, like, there's just not in love. Oh, crazy bones in it? Yeah, man. Yeah, man. It's from new or from old? Old.

Yeah, old. Because I'm so upset about it. I was so upset about the new song that I decided to listen to Butterfly again. See you at the crossroads. I was going to say, yeah, gold fubs in harmony. See you at the crossroads. Yeah, baby. That's why this song is so fucking awesome.

That's exactly. Thank you, Mark. If you were one second ahead of me, I was like, bone, balls. Yeah, crazy bone and wishbone. Bone thugs in harmony. Oh. To basically say. And this is appropriate because every song on the Bone Thugs and Harmony album sounds like Crossroads.

Yeah. So everything they do sounds like Crossroom. It's the first of the month. Wake up. Wake up. Wait. Wait.

Man, she tried to love him, but she just couldn't. Okay. Do you guys walk away from the... Man, this song is so good. I listen to it a bunch. Have you watched Empire? Next. Don't next me.

If you like fucking R.N. Mariah Carey? R&B. Really? Empire? Yeah. Oh, that empire. I was thinking of...

The one with the ball guy from Breaking Bad? Steve Bishemi. Oh, boardwalk empire. Boardwalk Empire. No, next, yeah. That's next one, though. I enjoy that show quite a bit. I love that show.

No, R&B hip-hop family with fucking Terrence Howard and fucking the brother of the girl from Full House and Friday Night Lights, who is... Denise on Full House and she's Jess on front of night. Oh, yeah. The brother is there. It's full of beautiful, beautiful people, men and women included. It's so good and there's a lot of R&B in it. And it makes me really want to, like, have a better canon of R&B in my brain.

I love it. I love R&B so much. It's just so sexy. Every fucking song is just sexy. I don't find it sexy in the least bit. What? Man, you ain't been having sex right. I have sex

My sex is different from your sex Yeah, your country sex I can have sex No Is it a Metallica sex? No Well I mean Sometimes

Well close Like Sabbath sex Oh okay That's fine Sabbath sex is fine Sabbath sex is pretty fucking great Master's reality

Or Stoge's sex Funhouse Oh Stoja sex It's a little Too Wack house For me To backhouse To whack house

No no No listen to this fucking song Listen, like, you just listen to this song right here. I'll listen to the song. Called yesterday, yeah. To basically say it. That you got by me by.

That we're just having a lot. Okay, I kind of get your point, but we both got our own things that we go. You're right. And also, you know what? My name is Jackie Zabrows. Oh, my name is Molly Neffle. Oh, yeah. Marcus Parks, only four and a half minutes time.

You guys recommend stuff to me all the time, and I'm just saying, now it's my turn. I've followed your recommendations on many things. Some things. Some things. Cat Daddy, the Jinks. Friday Night Lights, which is the shirt that I'm wearing right now, which no one has fucking said anything. I've got my Wrigan's shirt on right now.

That's good. But you follow my God-Diam recommendation on this. Empire. I'm not sure how you get it if it's not, if you don't have... I will watch it. It's so good and sexy. It's sexy. There's a lot of hot sex in it. That's my problem is that I've heard a lot of people tell me I should watch Scandal.

And I was like, all right, I want to watch Scandal. But I've heard that Empire is Scandal, but better and even sexier. I've never seen Scandal, but I'll vouch for its betterness and sexiness. It is a great show. It's also like, if you're into this thing, it's like super subtly Shakespearean. It's like the Plata King of the Year. You know I'm into that. I figured you might be.

But it is so. It really is like very, very, very good. And I had the same thing. Everyone was like, oh, I'm like, shut up. But then I did it. And it's so good. And it really, if you like R&B and Marcus, if you don't, which was me, by the end of it, you might, which is me now. But I do love Terrence Howard.

He is a dynamic actor. Good looking men. So I mean he looks a little mouse-ish. He's got a bit of a rat face. All right, I could see red face a little bit. Yeah, but not too much. He's got a little bit of a sneaky smile. I mean, he's no Omar Epps, I'll throw that out there.

But I'll take what I can get. If he's like the headmaster of this delicious ring, though, right? He is, he is. And I'm going to take your suggestion. I've been advocating for your suggestion of watching Bloodline in my home, but my home person does not believe me that it has Coach Taylor there and the Florida Keys there. And I understand a lot of people see Bloodline is a little slow. And it is slow, but it's a good slow burn.

I'll be there slow if Coach Taylor is there. I don't care. Hell yeah. Also, I've been a rabble-rousin about Grace and Frankie. And Grace and Frankie is on Netflix right now. It just came out. It's a new Netflix show. It's Lily Tomlin.

It's Jane Fonda. It's Sam Watterson. It's Martin Sheen. And I love all four of those people. Sam Watterson. All right. You know fucking Sam Watterson. You know.

But do you guys know the plot of the the show? Yeah, I mean, I've seen the Netflix synopsis. Okay. So for Molly, just so you know, basically, Martin Shee and St. Waterston have been, they are divorce lawyers, they've, or attorneys, and they've been in practice together for like 25 or 30 years. Jane Fonda is married to Martin Sheen, Lily Tomlin is married to Sam Waterston, and Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin have always had to be around each other, but they're very much an odd couple type. First episode, they sit down. Turns out Sam Waterson and Martin Sheen have been in a relationship

for 20 years. A sexual relationship? Yes, and they are leaving both of their wives. And because they want to get married. And so, then it's Jane Vaughn and Lily Tomlin living in the beach house having to get to like each other while Sam Waterson and Martin Sheen playing their wedding. I got to say, it sounds a bit like a sitcom set up. It is a thousand percent of sitcom set up. That is what it is. It is basically

a really well-done sitcom. Yeah, I mean, you couldn't cast it better. That's the thing, is that the acting is so great. And people are like, oh, but it's just like a sitcom kind of thing. But it's so well done. Personally, I haven't finished it yet. But there are just such, like, there are moments I've laughed out loud. There are moments that I just burst into tears because it's so hard to watch because those are such complicated feelings.

Yeah. Of also, it's like Lily Tomlin, Stan Waterson, we're best friends. They're not only partners, but they've been best friends their entire life. And having to deal with that where it's like, this one part where she has this whole monologue, she's like, I'm not even mad. I'm just heartbroken. And it's so intense. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. She's so, like, they're all such powerhouse. Like, they're just, they're really good at it. And I know that there's a lot of mixed reviews out there. And it's just like, just enjoy it. Just put yourself in that situation, you know?

I think, the thing, I want to watch it. I don't know why I haven't started yet, but even, I mean, surely the writing could be bad or whatever. but I feel like I can't really imagine a scenario where I wouldn't just enjoy seeing Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda on screen together. In their 70s fucking looking good. And being like what I love about it is that they're the draw of that show. I mean Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston aren't any like small cookies,

but those two women are the draw of that show. But also they have a very, the men have a very natural relationship where it seems like they have been together for 20 years. It's very natural. natural, it's very easy, there's nothing forced. It's not like, oh, gay. No, not at all.

Because they've also been partners for a really long time. Even my mom watch it and she's just like she's like, it's hard to watch because especially she's so much closer to that age and she watches it and she's like, I can't even imagine. But there's a lot of people that are going through that now. Now that it's something that's able to be talked about, something that men and

women are able to marry each other. This is a huge thing. And it's like, fuck, man. Yeah, dudes don't have to be roommates anymore. No, he's like, we're able to do this. Good chums. I was thinking about that because I recently caught a little bit because I had only seen half.

I caught the other half of the Bruce Jenner interview. And there's a part in the interview where Jenner's like, I didn't want to do this to my kids. And I can't remember if they said it in there or if I was just thinking about it. But I was thinking how many, like, how weird it would be. and there was somebody in my hometown who came out as trans when they were like 60 after their kids had moved out. And like how many trans people must wait to come out

because they're so afraid of hurting their kids and similarly with gay people to be like I don't feel, and also not only that, but we also have not been in a cultural societal place where you can be safe to do that, right? So then to be like 70 fucking years old and be like, oh, by the way, I'm gay or by the way, I'm trans.

I've been for really fucking long time. Yeah. But then also it's like I had a few friends in college that parents also did the same thing. But at that point it's like you gotta fucking take care of yourself. You only got a little amount of time left, man. You want to fuck who you want to fuck and you want to be open about it. And you know, you don't want to die unhappy. Yeah, not at all.

And that's why it's really just so upset. Like especially like the Sam Waterson, Lily Tomlin thing because he's like, I would have waited until I died because I love you because you're my partner. and I never wanted to hurt you like this, but I couldn't die unhappy. And it's so, oh, I've been watching it a lot by myself, and I cry a lot. And that's fine.

You know, you gotta emote somehow. Oh, then, welcome to our new podcast, crying alone with Jackie. All right, we're going to talk about all the other things I cry alone at. Bright Night Lights faux show, cried and threw out the entire fucking thing. Empire will make you cry a little bit,

but in a good way. All right, I'll watch you in a good way. also watch thought crimes. Oh, I gotta see thought crimes. What's that? How do you feel about it? I don't know. I do.

100% know how I feel about it, Marcus. From the, I have for my own opinion about my own, concerning my own research on the case. It's about the Cannibal Cop case, Gilberto Val-A. Yeah, I followed that story real close. Yeah, it's an HBO documentary. Oh, my God. Just came out. Thought crimes.

What? Oh, my God. I need to see this. Yeah, just came. up. Prosecuted for, should have been prosecuted for the police thing. Yes. For the whole cannibalism thing. Absolutely not. He never did anything, but it's the thought crimes. It's a thought crime. Oh my God. I gotta see that. I keep having to pause and be like, I don't know how I feel.

Oh, who gets to decide what's wrong, Jackie? Who gets to decide what's too far? All right. Just throwing it out there. I'm just throw a little part of this movie. He has a white, He is a small child. And she openly asked him when she found out, which for those of you that don't know, it's a huge case in New York. Cannibal cop. He had all these ideas of all the things he wanted to do to the women in his life and women he didn't know. All this like chat line.

And specific women. All specific women. He's going on this side called Dark Fetish Net and chatting with this guy in England about possibly getting together and cooking, killing, cooking. and eating a woman. Kimberly. A specific woman. But also it wasn't even just that.

It was the slow torture. Slow torture and rape of not just one woman, but multiple women that he knew that he had pictures of that he could send out. The one thing that really made me turn in my craw was when his wife found out

that all this stuff was happening because she put all the spyware on his computer. And she went to him and she said, were you ever discussing me or our church? child and he said no and he fucking was he was talking about selling her

he was talking about selling the baby he was talking about doing all that fucking shit to her and her child so she went immediately to the police it's a thought crime I know it's a thought crime he doesn't do anything not illegal wait a minute I haven't seen it but I didn't follow

this case quite closely when it came out because I was like that man has access to all of our addresses via the system which he used he used the police database to be able to find. And prosecuted for that, he should have been. He should have been. So what? Okay. So my question, because the reason I always thought that this was not a thought crime was because he had, because like if it's a speech crime, right? Like you're allowed to say, you know, people should, you know, revolt and armed whatever. Like you're allowed to say a lot of things.

Not a yada, boring, boring. You're allowed to say what you want to say. But you can't say like, I have a specific plan to kill this specific person. It has to arise to a realistic, imminent and credible threat, I think are the words, right? Imminent, like, it's going to happen, like, if we don't stop, but it's going to happen. And credible, meaning, like, it's really good. Not just, like, some guy sleeping on the street says, I'm going to kill the president tonight. Like, he actually... Looking up the shit, knowing that they'd be able to do these kinds of things.

And so it seems like, from what I know about, Cannibal cop is that it was definitely credible in the sense that he, and I know that it's different for thought and speech, but in terms of prosecuting somebody, like, if, for example, let's take somebody who did commit a murder, and if their wife turned them in before they did, and they had a plan of how they were going to commit that murder and what they were going to do and where the person lived and all that, couldn't you, isn't that a prosecutable thing? If they had the actual means to do it The thing about the Gilberto Valet case

Is that he did say many times This is fantasy This is fantasy He made sure Had about 50 conversations Where that was not in the car Like that's what the whole documentary is about Are like the actual like

Lines of chats where he was not saying That this is just a fantasy But where is the line where does a crime begin and who gets to decide that? That to me is the biggest question. Who gets to decide when a crime begins? Becomes a crime. Yeah, when does a crime become a crime?

When does it stop being free speech and become an actual crime? It's kind of like how the comic book Legal Defense Fund. If you don't know the CBDLF is that they're out there, they protect a lot of, they're a free speech type of organization. I know the guy that runs that. There you go. And you know what he spends a lot of his time doing? Defending this shit.

But they're defending comic books. Yeah, but they're also defending comic books. They're depicting child rape. And hentai. And hentai and things like that. And that's what, and I think that's the argument is if none of it, like either all of it's okay or none of it is. You have to defend the worst of it. Because if you don't defend the worst of it, it starts chipping until it gets to you.

Thought crimes. Sure. And that's the whole, yeah, that's the whole Freedom of Speech thing too, right? It has to be like the...

Big Brothers watching. We shouldn't even be talking about this right now. They're going to come after us. I'm going to kill the president. Oh, no, I said it. I said it.

I'm going to live inside Kim Kardashian's body. I'm going to wear her body. Not like Ed Geith. I just want to be her. I want to talk like her. I want to have her hair. Yeah.

And last week when I said that I wanted to be Kylie Jenner, you guys looked at me weird. Well, no one wants to be fucking Kylie. Yeah, that had to do with Kylie. Another to do with you, Marcus. No, there was like, there was a famous ACLU case where the American Civil Liberties Union defended a Ku Klux Klan rally that wanted to go through the streets of, I think it was not Schaumburg, Illinois. I don't remember, a very Jewish suburb. I know this set of this, yeah. And that's like this kind of standard.

Everyone was like, but the ACLU is liberal. And the ASLU is like, we protect free speech. We think it's abhorrent that the KKK wants to march through a Jewish suburb, but we have to protect their right to do it because, as you say, it's the whole chipping away thing. It's just a fun time parade. Did they bill it as a fun time parade? I guess what their problem is. A fun time mask mask mask?

It's a mask mass parade. And we all saw a nice wide shut. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, the mask mask mask Marche Marche March. It's all. It's, you know, I feel like it's, I feel like it's, It all has to do with how you really put yourself out there. And that's a problem with the KKK.

We love costumes. We love too much. We don't like everybody, but we love some people. Look at our fancy names. He's the Grand Whizzo. He's the Grand Circle. Where is the Cogadha? Yeah.

It's a Marchimarch. T-shirt cannon. Now that's what they need to be. do it. Hey, I got this free t-shirt. What does it say? Oh, I can't wear this. It has the N-word all over it. But it was from a marching march, so I guess it's okay.

Man, I need to be the head of the PR for the KKK. I think so. I think you should be the head of PR for all of this stuff. Thank you, man. It's just positive spins. That's all you need. Jackie, defending the worst of the worst. Yeah, I really hope a free speech organization

hires you to be there like, wow! Yeah. No, you more poppers. Get that confetti in the air. Everybody loves confetti. Put a firework up there. Oh, man. I'm going to watch that movie immediately, though.

Yeah. I think I'm going to watch it tonight. Thought crimes. I was following it very closely, and as much as I am completely, I count myself as an avid, like, yes, of course, the KK should be able to march, you know, free speech advocate. I did interpret the specific location of addresses. and culmination of materials. And talking about doing it to his wife and his child.

Maybe. And his close friends. That all seems like reasonable. Like it's, I don't know the legal terms, but it seems like he was going to do that shit. Yakesy. I really do think in this case that all he needed was someone to swing by and go, you know what?

Don't do that. Not to swing by and go, you know what? Knock it off. His wife saying, are you going to do this to me? Doesn't count, though, is that? Yeah, but also, I mean, I feel like in this case, specifically, he was thrown in jail for two years, in solitary for two years for his own protection.

Done. He's not going to fucking do this shit. That's not the problem of this. He's also a broken human being. Yeah, he's done now. That is cruel and unusual punishment. And also, he is 30 years old. You might as well slit his fucking throat. This whole thing happened. He was 28 years old. It's like, yeah, man, we all got our dark, weird shit that we jerk off to.

Fos show. But it's just like, man, I immediately watched that. I was just like, hey Doug, so I jerk off to this, I jerk off to this, I jerk off to this. Do you have any problems with that? No. All right, we're good. I just want to get it out in the air. But if Doug had found, you know, again, maps, addresses, rope.

Him strung up in pictures of me with my cum all over it. Yeah, that's definitely probably a different story. Oh, speaking of rope, I also recently watched 50 Shades of Gray. Oh, good for you? I don't know. I'm not saying that we celebrate it. I'm only saying that was such a positive voice because this is page's fucking seven. Not great, but I did have fun.

I really wanted to see. I drank white wine. See, that's the thing. Exactly. My boss saw the movie and she's like, the only entertaining part about the movie was we were sitting behind a bunch of boisterous women. And they were all like, oh shit, girl, you get it? You get it?

Damn, I want a red room like there. But, like, they were so over-extatic about every single thing that happened in the movie. She's like, they should sell the movie with that kind of, like, overdubbing over everything. Oh, I would definitely like, yeah, go get it. You fucking get it. Yeah, I do that. I do that. But with, like, horny middle-aged women.

It's like, that's how I want to see the movie. Yeah, yeah. No, it's, I mean, you're going to want to see it with a bottle of white wine for yourself. Alone, right? A big, right, alone. Yes, definitely. And any other sort of intoxicating. I'd rather watch Blue Valentine again.

I'd rather watch Blue Velvet. I was that you were going to say Blue Velvet. I'd rather watch Blue Velvet and Blue Valentine back to back. Yeah, I'll go for a naked Isabella Rosalini over pretty much anything. Have either of you seen the fall? No. Okay, so the guy from 50 Shades of Grey is also in the fall, which features Julian Anderson, of course, from the X-Files.

Oh, apparently is so hot to this day or so. She is like Matthew McConaughey's character in true detective, but in this fucking Irish murder mystery. See, I don't think she's got bones on Julian Moore. If we're going redheads, if we're going middle-aged redheads, I think Julianne Moore blows her out of the fucking water. Yep, I'm with you on that one. Man, I just watched the kids are all right.

And it was a very sappy lesbian movie with Mark Ruffalo in it, and I loved every second of it. And I was just like, man, Julian Moore must. to be a great lay. I mean, we've seen her fuck. Kind of. I don't think what I have to choose. I think that what Julie

Anderson, I don't have to choose. You have to choose. That's the point of the podcast. But what Gillian Anderson has is that she's Scully. Yeah. I know. She does have that. But Julianne Moore was in Boogie Knights. Yeah, man.

Honey for a lot of. I'll take her any day. Still looking fucking great. I have to choose. I choose Julian Anderson. Wow. She's not even a redhead in the fall. Schism.

Do I still have to choose? Schism. She wasn't a redhead? No, she's a blondeie. Yuck. No, I just put her in a grave in my head. No. No, I never want to bone at her ever again.

Blonde? No, Ginger's, what is it? What if I told you that she has an American accent in the X-Files, which is real? And she has a British accent in the fall, which is also real. She's a double agent. I don't understand. What does that mean? So she's an actor who is from the United States, but moved to the UK 20 years ago.

So was she playing a Johnny Depp? Oh, I know. This is my accent. So she is what you would call a traitor. That's what I think. You know what? We should wrap her up in the American flag and set her on fire. That's what we do to traitors in this fucking country.

That's still the free speech exercise. Is it part of the show? I'm the PR, baby. Yeah, and then make her watch Julianne Moore tell Mark fucking Wahlberg to come inside of her. Over and over and over again.

Oh, no, boogie nights. Boogie nights, hey, yeah, yeah. She does fuck, fuck Mark Ruffalo and the kids are all right. Hot. That's great. Hot. Hot.

Hot. I like Mark Ruffalo, except have I mentioned to you guys that I confuse him with, I don't confuse him, but I picture him as just a hotter version of Vincent Dinoffrio. Next. I'm sorry, you got next to him again. They're the same. That came from my gut.

I couldn't even stop myself. No one agrees with me on this. I've floated this by other people and I've been met with the same level of dismissive. I think it's okay. I mean, they're both very talented. They are. And they're both handsome. It's just that Vincent Dinoffero is a little bit like puffy.

Yeah, he's got a fucking dope. baby head. He looks like a maiden amount of fucking quay. But like a young young Vincent Donoffrey. We're gonna put him

side by side here. Thank you Marcus, I need this. So there. Handsome. Mark, there's your... Don't get an old

puffy version of Vincent DiCaprio. Oh, you want young Vincent DeNaprio? Okay. Because I know that Puffy Vincent DiNaprio. Oh, you mean

so you mean like private pile? Yeah. Oh, like... You want full metal jacket Vincent DeNoffrio? Yes, I do. Because that's when he was in

full hotness, I think. I think Vincent Don't know if you remember full metal jacket like I remember full metal jacket. Maybe not full metal jacket. Maybe like early criminal intent. We'll see what you do. The cell I would say that. I trust you. I can't see it. Not when he's all. Ew. Not like that. Okay. Yeah, that's full metal jacket. All right. Well, so not full metal jacket. He blows himself

away, right? He's going to. Okay, not there. Molly. Not there. You're not doing. Okay. So criminal criminal intent. Young, just how about young Vincent DiNafrio? Or shoot me the cell. Like, I bet he was hot in the cell. Because he doesn't, somewhere where he's not a maniac.

Actually, you know what? I totally see it. Fuck yes. Thank you, Marcus. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you on this one. I've needed this for months now. I won't. I won't get on this fucking shit bandwagon.

He looks like he could be his uncle. Sure, yeah. He's like ugly uncle that's drank too much. Possibly father, yeah. And Mark Ruffalo is like, hot young rough man either way one of them is definitely disappointed in the other yes mark ruffalo is like a perfect version of vincid anafrio god he's just like quirky in the face man and i know everyone's all talking about Jurassic Park too and I know him I'm a

Jurassic Park and I'm going to see it oh yeah Chris Pratt needs a beef up though I need more fat on him he looks good He's too tight in the stomach. I think he's, yeah, I think he's hotter in Parks and Rec. As Andy, I want more Andy, Chris Pratt. No, I hear you on that, but he is just generally... I stare at pictures of him a lot. Like I'm 12 years old.

I would have a poster of him in my room if I was 12. You could still do that? Well, if Doug would let me, yeah. Yeah. Doug, can I have a picture of a hot guy up in our bedroom? So I can stare at him like, fuck yourself. Am I the problem? I don't think I'm the problem.

What if you offered him one hot lady to put up on the wall? I guess. Oh, I mean, I would be fine with that. Hmm. What were we going to start having? When was the last time you guys had posters of hot people up in your bedroom? A while. It's been a bit.

Does it count if I called it quote unquote art? I guess not. Maybe I need to get an artistic rendition of Chris Pratt. There you go. Yeah. Get a picture of him like naked holding a, nope. A lion over his penis? I was going to say baby, only because I keep accidentally being in people's houses

when they have, like, naked pictures of themselves pregnant, and I don't like it. We're accidentally being... Huh? Babysitting for people who have, like... No, they do the elegant pictures of them, like, oh, my breasts are up, but it's okay because I'm pregnant. And it's in their entryway, and they're like, we're discussing payment, and I'm like, your naked body is right next to me, and I don't know where to live.

look about it. Do you ever comment on it? No, I try to pretend that I can't see the art. I try to just angle my face away. I'd just stare straight at it and just hold my hand down. I don't think they would ask you back. Yeah, babysitting again. It's a fickle, it's a fickle beast, babysitting. Also, that too. So how much, how much smaller your breasts now? Because they're pretty big in there, and I know titties get really big when you're pregnant. So how much smaller? And you squeeze in the... And you squeeze in a milk, I know they ain't happening.

That and also the weird naked photos of like newborns. Yeah. Like naked mother between the mother's breasts and like the naked man caressing her bind. I don't like that. Yeah. I don't ever want a boudoir photo taken of me at all. Never. Yeah.

No. And I don't think that the babies, I mean, obviously babies naked is fine. But I don't want like a hundred photographs of a naked baby. I don't want to be photographed naked at all. Yeah. I wouldn't have wanted to be photographed naked as a baby. I don't think it's, I don't want that. I did one nude photography series in college, and I didn't really enjoy it that much.

Did it, meaning you were the photographer or you were the model? I was the model. Really? Mm-hmm. You get paid for it, though? Nope, it was a friend of mine. See, that's gross. Yeah.

If you're going to go winning for that kind of thing. She was a favor. No, you should get paid. I was dating. I was dating. She was a friend of my girlfriend. See, that's even weirder. Yeah.

I don't know. It was college. Things are a little loosey-goosey, though. Did she get you like a sandwich or a six-pack or something? Six-pack. Good. Got a loosey-goosey up, man. You're going to be doing that kind of shit.

I know a few people that did the nude modeling for classes, but they got paid a shit ton to do that. Nope, I just did it because I thought, hey, I'll try it. Because, you know me, I'll try anything once. I thought anything once. That's me. I mean, yeah, if you want to sit and sketch out my folds, you can pay me $60 to do it.

60? So to use $60 is a shitload of money for being naked and in front of room. When you were in college, yeah, it was a fucking shit out of money. Yeah, actually, I used to sell my plasma for 40 bucks a shot. There you go. And that was like two nights of drinking. Hell yeah. That was pretty sweet. Yeah, I tried to give them my eggs.

They didn't want them. And there weren't no sperm banks in Lubbock because that's a sin. Oh, yeah, baby. The sin of Onen. Although I have a friend who was like a bit of a, you know, a bit of a dreamer in the sense that he played a lot of video games and did a lot of dreaming whilst playing video games. Oh, that's sad. And sorry, Marcus. Your dreams have become a reality at least.

And a lot of smoking. And he had a big dream to just live off of being a sperm donor. And he would, you know, always tell me his plans to just fuck in. I just need sperm. I'll just drop it off. and then I'll just live off of it. And I know a couple of families who have gotten sperm, and it is a rigorous, rigorous screening process.

You should tell them to talk to Mark Ruffalo and the kids are all right. Maybe I'll have another fucking idea about it. Oh, is he the fucking donor? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. To the lesbian couple. To Annette Benning and Julian Moore.

But they have to fuck? That's not how it works. No, they don't fuck. He was just sperm donor, but the kids were 18. They wanted to find out who made them. But I thought you said there was a sex scene. Yeah. it's a whole big thing

because Zendheim becomes a part of their lives and Julianne Moore was like oh I see my kid's face in your face and I'm really weirdly attracted to that even though I've been a lesbian my entire life started fucking him sounds gross to me yeah it's kind of fucking ah

I mean not now just the seeing my kid's face in your face leading to the fucking like as a mom thing but like she never saw it in like Annette Benning's face there is I see actually a scientific basis for that

there are plenty of stories about daughters and daddies and mothers and sons not seeing each other for their entire lives suddenly coming back and seeing each other for the first time in describing an actual sexual attraction and it is especially strong in siblings who are separated at birth because they are separated at birth they don't see each other for their entire lives they get together and they just, all they want to do is just fuck. Like the Brady Bunch movie? I'm also trying to pitch to Hendra right now to go as Circe and Jamie Lannister for Halloween. Oh my God.

And he's not into it. I was like, come on. We'll cut off your hand. We'll get your sword. And then I'll be a queen. It'll be great. Oh, you definitely should do that. Yeah, it'll be awesome.

You guys have always been very comfortable with embracing jokes about, fucking, you know. We don't kiss. No, but people joke about it because for some reason people want to joke about that and you guys, you know, don't run from it. Nah, no, no, no. It's because we don't touch each other. People joke about you and your brother. I know, and we

did not like it. You have to embrace it or else it's going to upset you for the rest of your life. Yeah, I don't understand why adults just want to be like, oh, siblings. Yeah, you fuck. Yeah, you fuck. It's weird. It's a weird thing that people did. I remember that when y'all were on, we're all friends here.

was the first question that Mark Norman asked. Yeah, and I mean, we knew, obviously, it wasn't like we were unprepared for that. We were just always like, why? Why? Do people see adult siblings of opposite genders? They always think you fuck. Because it's taboo.

But people don't think that like the fucking, like, you know, this is like, when you're adult siblings who are of opposite genders, everyone's like, weird, siblings are never friends. But meanwhile, there's all sorts of siblings of the same gender who work together, right? but nobody's like, oh, do the The Wayans brothers

Do the Wayans brothers all fuck each other? They might. I'd watch it. I would watch it. Scary movie 8. They all fuck each other. Nobody thinks the Cullen brothers are fucking. Well, technically isn't one of, he's trans, right?

Is it the Cohn brothers? Is it one of the Cone brothers? No, you're thinking of the Wachowski's. The Matrix guys. The Matrix guys. The Matrix guys. That one of them's trans. Oh, all right.

Maybe they fucking. other. You just said that because now they're opposite gender. Maybe that's why. You went that way? You're proven her point for her, Jackie. I'm in the middle of it. I am at the full crumb of the

problem. Yeah, Jackie knows how it goes. It is a weird, like, it's a weird thing that people are like... Marcus, you ever want to fuck Charlie? See? See how weird a question it is? Yeah, that is a really weird question. You said, yeah, so you're thinking about it? No, I'm not thinking. I mean, he's a dapper man. He is a dapper man. Up on that horse.

But see, if I was gay, maybe. He's got those strong loins. Do you think Kissel's brother ever thought about fucking him? Do people ask Kistel if he wants to fuck his brothers, though? I bet he does. Actually, we totally do ask Kissel. Well, we ask his brothers if, I mean, it's pretty much, if there's a possibility of one of them fucking the other, people are going to be curious about it.

Because it's taboo. Taboo. I mean, I've definitely looked up quite a few tabs of taboo fetishes on porn. Yeah, if there's a brother's sister scene If they're both hot, I don't care See, I never watch a brother's sister scene Because that creeps me out too Because I don't have any siblings, yeah

But I mean, they're not brother and sister On the fucking site Yeah, I won't go mother-son But I'll go nephew aunt I'll go babysitter Father of the child Yeah, non-biological I'll do that too, but aunt by marriage

Okay, sure Non-biological is the key to obviously you know taboo, right, people connect. Debt mom also very acceptable. Yeah, well, clueless paved the way for that. Yeah, y'all. So what we're saying is

that this week there's a lot of celebrity gossip point on. There's zero. There is not a whole lot going on. It's like Jayden Smith wore something weird to his pop. And who cares? And Jay-Z and and Beyonce did pay bail for Baltimore protesters, which is fucking amazing. That's great. That's great. It's great.

But like, nothing fun is happening this week. It's not fun. We refuse to talk about Louis C.K. Don't fucking bring it up to me. No. And other than that, so that's why we're talking about all this shit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bristol Palin, her wedding. That's kind of fun. Her wedding got called off. Yeah, it's supposed to be next weekend. But you know what? They're planning a great barbecue next week. That's great. Because they're still going to do something.

Pick yourself up and go on. It's just interesting, though, because she was set to marry the guy who was the father of her child, and then she found out fucking guy got married to somebody else when they were on a break. So he's so married. Secret wife. Secret wife. Secret wife.

Thought crimes. That's a real one. You know, he can't marry another person. But, you know, Cofam, what was he supposed to do? Have you seen a picture of this guy? Yeah, you're... Bristol Palin's person?

Yeah. Dakota. Looks sweaty. Ew, he looks sweaty. Oh, he looks really. He's sweaty. He's drenched sweaty. Ew.

Oh, my God. Super sweaty dudes. But that's the baby daddy, though, right? Of Tiny Tim? No, that's not the baby. Little Trigg? No, Trigg is Bristol Palin's baby. Is it Tripp?

But Tripp or tag? Trag. Torg. Yeah. Trig. No, it's Torgon. Yeah, you're right. I think it might be an element of some sort.

Trag. Trag. Trag. I think it is. Okay. Palin. Trig. One of the.

She's got a She has a Sarah Palin has a young baby Mentally handicapped one There's Brit Yeah that's Trigg That's Trigg That's Trigg

Bristols is also Mentally handicapped Bristol is also a daughter No Bristol is For the mother I mean just a regular old Alaskan gal

Uh But she got baby And yeah She got baby She's the one Remember She was the what love is.

Remember Bristol, Levi was her baby daddy. Levi. Levi, you forgot all about Levi. So she was trying to marry another guy who wasn't Levi. Did she marry Levi? She didn't ever marry Levi. No. And the other kids are Willow, Piper, and Track.

So Bristol Baylor's O for two. I'm going to check it out here. I'm going to see. So track and trig are the ones that we are thinking of. Over two. Yeah. In terms of marriage. Ain't nobody want to put a ring on it.

Tap? Trip. Trip. Yeah. With two. Jesus Christ. Two peas. Two peas.

Don't fuck yourself. I was hoping you would say two R's, though. That's why nobody wants to marry you, Bristol Baylon. Put one P on it. Put one P. Two R's and two. Two R's five B's. Tripp.

And maybe two T's. To trip. Trip. Easton Mitchell Johnston. Levi Johnston That was his name So this is a whole different fucking guy And Levi Johnson just reminds

In my experience Reminds you of every douche you went to high school with Yes He's like the archetype of a douche you went to high school with Yeah like the hot guy in the football team But not Regans Because he has a good heart And a brain

Yeah Oh my God didn't strengthen his arms He knows how to build a house Yeah And he looks through the eye And he drinks too much But it's okay Yeah, where Levi Johnston never looked a lady in the eye in his life

No, no, no, no, he just puts a bone in her and goes, baby yet You got baby yet? Babby, baby. You got baby yet? Oh, yeah. Oh, Levi, you're so cute when you're acting like that. Can you take me on a ride on your four-wheeler? I don't know how to drive.

Andy did me really like you. Oh, Levi. Oh, Levi. You're footy. Dakota has a really thick fucking neck though Bristol? No Dakota the guy she was trying to marry next week How rough is that though?

Week before the wedding you're like uh-oh you're married to somebody else Can't marry you Yeah, that's hard You have to at that point make alternate plans for all of the family who's coming in She's just have an alternate groom You know what? Not this guy I marry this fucking other sweaty guy She's a pale and she'll get another guy

There's a bunch of sweaty guys in Maine. Yeah, sweaty. I mean Alaska. Sweety big neck Alaskans. And they shouldn't be sweating up there. No, it's cold. All the time? Cold and dark.

Alaska? Yes. Six months of darkness. And also six months of light. Which sounds hellish. Yes. It sounds awful. I saw 30 days a night.

I know what it means. I mean, I would much prefer the dark over the light. I wouldn't. Can I say my little children who I work with? I asked them, what is a good? question to get to know somebody like what's your favorite color and they were like what's your favorite food your favorite ice cream and then one of the kids was like do you prefer darkness or the light and i was like all right let's ask together yeah sure everyone had different answers some people

were like i prefer the darkness i prefer the light and i was like this is an amazing like children have a capacity for you know a lot of depth that you don't think they'll be like my favorite flavor is almond ice cream and i love darkness oh oh that creeps me out it was a really But you all like the light. That's it. Yeah, I was like light. But no, it was really like half and half. Wow.

Interesting. Children, are they our future? No. You're our dark future. I'll lead you. Our future. Read them well. I sang that song at my Girl Scout graduation.

From Brownies and to the cadets. Wow. Give us a little more. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Did you know the Girl Scouts of bread? Did you know the Girl Scout song? Make new friends. And keep the old one is silver and the other's gold.

A circle around. On my honor, I will try to serve God and my country to help people at all times and to live by the Girl Scout law. Jesus Christ. It's a cult. I was just in the Cub Scouts for like two weeks because the Scoutmaster was this alcoholic woman and all she had was a rock tumbler

and it just never went further than that. The rock tumbler, is that mean she put shit up your ass? No, but... We did play a game of erotic dice when I was 15. With the same lady? Yeah. It's like a truth or dare thing? Erotic dice.

What is erotic dice mean? It's roll and it'll be like, tickle my balls. Yeah, I remember lick ear was the one that I got. Did she lick your ear? Yes, she did. Is this a celebrity gossip podcast? Wait, Cubschards are only supposed to be like seven. You're too old.

She was having a fake Cubscout meeting. Oh, no, no, no. The Cubs scout, that happened when I was seven. Oh, okay. This was later. This was later. Small town. Bad lady.

Because I'm in the small town, it's the same people your entire life. Maybe we should play erotic dice on this show. I am not comfortable doing that with either. Yeah, I don't think we should. Tickle my balls. Oh, no. What do I do? We can play a game of erotic dice where we just roll it and then drink and laugh about what it says.

Okay, I'm fine with that. Like, look at here. Let me see if I can do some erotic dice online. There's probably a virtual erotic. I played truth or dare jenga a lot. Oh, here we go. New friends, but keep the old. Here we go.

All right. Turn down the lights. Ew. Set the sensual mood. You know what, never mind. And let. Euse, sensitive Aeroid places.

Starting the game. They're very heterosexual dice. There's a man and a woman. Yeah, but look of that, it's because how much of our ass is out. Okay, who do you want the male name to be? I guess, I don't know, Spartan. Let's do Coach Taylor. Okay.

And for a female name, let's do Tammy Taylor. Okay. Start game. Is this what's happening right now? Throw dice. Coach Taylor, Throw your dice. Rotating.

Rotating. Rotating. This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Kiss booze. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

So Coach Taylor just kissed Tammy's booze. This is so dumb. And Tammy Taylor was like, what are you all doing? I got to get back to the school. Eric, I don't have time for this. Tammy Taylor.

throw your dyes. What is she gonna get? It's been six months. Ticklips. Ew, that's great. I can't play this game anymore, Marcus. I can't do this anymore. All right.

That's all for page seven this week. That's it. The news, seriously. No, I look through blind items. We have nothing. I looked for lists. Nothing. There was nothing.

To be fair, I think this is our first show in like two years where we didn't do any structure whatsoever. Anything. We just talked. We just talked. I mean, we had a couple things. I kind of enjoyed the Sensia dice.

Yeah. That could become a weekly feature. Yeah, I mean, my roommates are about to go out of town for 10 days. So maybe it's something I need. Maybe I need to go home and tickle dugs lips. Just, Jackie, get your... Now they have to... No, no, no, this is like...

Stop be doing it. Have some more boozy water. Please stop to it. My name is Jackie. My name is Molly Nuff. I'm Marcus Parks and Coach Taylor, the last thing he needs to kiss, live. Oh, well, that's not fun.

Coach Taylor, I want you to fucking ram my rod. Eric, what are you doing? Oh, massage neck. Ew, that's boring. Okay, bye, everybody. I love Coach Taylor.