Page 7 - Episode 123: Bonecrusher Song Child Cancer

Episode Date: July 13, 2015

Lindsey Lohan has found spiritual awareness and Bonecrusher is dead! On today's Page 7. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Yes. Is that good? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What about you, Molly? Are you good? Oh, yeah, I'm good. All right.

You're good. All right. All right. Philadelphia, fever. Shot on me. I love you. Shot a lot. Hell yeah, everybody.

We've all got Philadelphia. My name is Jackie Zabrous. My name is Molly Nuff. I'm Marcus Parks and I got that. Philadelphia. Fiva. I'm sorry, Molly. Uncertainness to what we were talking about.

It is from Roundtable of Gentleman. It means we have AIDS. Oh. What I don't understand is that on the Roundtable of Gentlemen, we had this big, long-running joke about Philadelphia fever. I sang the Elton John song. No one, everyone thought this song was actually titled Philadelphia Feber. It's not.

It's Philadelphia Freedom. Everyone, it is Philadelphia Freedom. You don't know that fucking Elton John song? I thought you were making it up completely just, and you just had a spot on fucking. of the style of Elton John. Oh my God. That song is amazing.

Shout on me. Jackie, that's a very... It's very... It's kind of Marcus. I think it speaks to his regard for you that he thinks that you could spontaneously make up an Elton John song. That would sound that realistic. You know what, you're right. I really

appreciate that. I really wish I fucking good. You believe in me and that's all that fucking matters. You know? No, but the name on The word on everyone's lips today, ayahuasca. Dun, dun, done.

Man, I want to do ayahuasca so bad, except for the pukin part. I don't really want to get into that. However, I want to trip fucking balls. Well, that's what Lindsay Lohan apparently did, because she said she's now speaking out after her probation, and she's saying that ayahuasca changed her life because it's relieving her stress.

It's opening up her worldview to a time. ton of different viewpoints. And I'll agree completely because after I took mushrooms, everything changed. I came out a much nicer person. I appreciated music on a whole different level. It was amazing. Hallucidogens can change your life. And for the better, sometimes for the worst.

Sometimes for the worst. Sometimes you break yourself. I mean, I definitely could never go to a mermaid parade ever again. But I won't even get into that right now. I have done a bunch of fucking hallucinages in my life. life, Molly? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And are you familiar with ayahuasca? I'm not, but I do agree that it can be an incredibly positive life-changing experience that doesn't just last for when you're having the experience, but it has a lasting effect. A thousand percent. And I would go ahead and go for the natural hallucinogens over the synthetic ones as far as having a big lasting effect. A thousand percent. Honestly, I am natural a thousand percent.

I don't, I mean, acid, yeah, sure, it's fine. It is what it is. It's sad times. It is fine. It is not the fucking same. It ain't no mushrooms. No, it ain't. Man, it is no mushrooms.

And ayahuasca is definitely interesting to me. Marcus, can you give a little background? Do you have like a Wikipedia page up? I sure do. Iowasca, it's kind of like DMT. It's got those sorts of... Give me, give me, give me. I want DMT so bad.

Jackie just taught me about DMT outside. Sounds fun. Yep, and it just pretty much opens up your third eye. It's a third eye opener. It's a South American thing. It's used tribally. It's a big tribal drug. You need a shaman.

You do need a shaman for it. It's kind of like this white, goopy substance, and you do vomit. You have to get, you're supposed to detox for days. You're supposed to get on this, like, very regimented diet before you do it. And then when you do it, what it does is that it cleanses out everything, everything outside of you. So you have to puke for, I think, days, or at least a day

straight, to really get it all out of you. And then, I mean, I learned about this on Joe Rogan's podcast, which I fucking love his podcast. A thousand percent. It's all about fucking drugs. But he was talking to this MMA fighter that does

it often, but it's more for like spiritual purity, like to get him ready to train and things like that. to get all of the toxins out of his body, to see who he is and where he needs to be, and that's how he starts his training, which is a very interesting concept. But I think what's fucking insane

is that Lindsay Lowen is using this as a way to be like, nah, no, no, I'm cool now. I've seen it all. Which I don't know if that's really the way to do it, but I mean, I guess if it's working for her. Yes. You know, right.

And then you trip, you pupe, poop, puke, Trip, trip, trip, trip, trip, trip, trip, trip. See you got. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. She's apparently, she's doing meditation, ayahuasca, and cryotherapy.

You cry? You cry? High five. High five. We cried. I cryotherapy is your fucking day. Crying sounds like therapy. Absolutely.

Cryo as in freezing, cold. Yeah. Wouldn't they freeze her body? Yeah. It's a use of low temperatures in medical therapy. I like medical fairies. These medical fairies come to you, and they're like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, you are now a princess.

Treats, let's see here, a variety of benign and malignant tissue damage medically called lesion. Wait, you freed, they freeze you up. They freeze you up. She's a caveman. Oh, she's a caveman. She's a pop star. She's a caveman.

What I think is interesting is that it seems as if she's using ayahuasca frequently, which I don't know if you're supposed to do it frequently, unless you're a shaman. living in the fucking middle of nowhere down south. Right. Yeah, all that vomiting has got to be bad for you. But maybe it's good. Maybe I'd lose a bunch of weight.

I'm going to use ayahuasca as my new diet. It can cause intense vomiting and occasional diarrhea. But that also says that it clears the body of worms. If I have worms, I'll want them out of it as fast as humanly possible. But I might want an actual, like, synthetic. worm treatment as opposed to an all that. Antibiotic? Yeah. I want modern medicine for worms.

For your worms? You know, I want that. Although I do hear as in animals that when you have worms and you eat, the worms eat all the food so you lose a bunch of weight. You do lose weight. Again, I would go on the fucking worm diet. You get a worm? Yeah, give me a worm. Yeah, one

worm. I'd have at least three worms. One from my chest, one for my adamant, one from my vagina. Put the worms in those three places. One or not each night. Well, then you wouldn't have to do birth control anymore if you got a worm in your pus, right?

It sucks up all the semen. It eats a semen out of you. It eats a semen worm. I'm hungry. A belly fat worm. Oh, man. And an ojid a worm. So I'm just emptying my balls into a worm gullet.

Yeah, man, it's fine. Sucking it down. Maybe that's the new male birth control. You know, they're trying to develop male birth control. Just put a worm in the balls. It eats all the same. Oh yeah, that's what I'll do. Yeah, that's very equal to taking a pill every day.

Let me just put a worm in my balls. Sometimes those pills make you cry every day. Yeah, and I... Oh, you don't think that my fucking worm in my balls is going to make me weep a little? Well, it depends on your reaction to the presence of the worm in your balls. Yeah, unless the worm starts to talk to you every day. Hey, Marcus? Oh, the worm's talking about.

Hey, do you remember when your grandfather died? Oh, my God. Remember when you got up babies inside of girls? Oh, no. Well, I mean, if you have worms and your balls, I guess that's not the worst thing in the world. Good for her, though. Good for her. I haven't heard word one about Lindsay Lohan in a long fucking time.

Yeah, you had her on Death Watch for a while there. Man, I had her a thousand percent on Death Watch. A couple years in a row. I've had Jack Nicholson on Death Watch for a few years, too, and that hasn't come to fruition. Maybe 0 for... O for all of it. O for all of them, yeah. O for 100%.

I'm pretty bad at it apparently. Oh my God. She said she went to an hallucination, or she went to a shaman. There was an hallucination. She said she saw her own birth and death. Oh, I don't want to see my birth. Nope. No, thank you.

I don't want to watch it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I like the idea of being comfortable with death, accepting it. Hallucinogens can bring that, knowing that we all live forever. Fine. However, I don't want to see the specifics of it, you know? No, because then you'll first.

ever be scared of like going into a Toyota Corolla. Right. I can't go in the Toyota Corolla. I die in one. I usually imagine I would die in a Corolla, but all my friends had Corolla. That was the carol. That was the carol that I drove in high school. Yeah, all my fucking friends at Corolla's.

Yeah, I think corollas are just synonymous with dangerous times and adolescents. Yeah, doing a bunch of drugs in a car. Yeah. My parents gave me this car. Yeah, I don't fucking care. It's light blue. You know, that would mean I'd die in a truck. There you go.

Yeah, 90 Chevrolet. Oh, maybe a Ford Ranger? Oh, not. Well, yeah, the first time I got house in a Ford Ranger, so yeah, I guess that'd be it. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, that's where the drugs begin. Trucks. And trucks and girls.

In trucks. I don't know why, but I keep just thinking gunshot wound. I feel like that's how I'm going to die. I feel like I'm going to get shot. Really? Yeah. You mean, like, accidentally as if you were a deer? I don't know.

I mean, I have gotten accidentally shot wound. I know, but that was like buckshot, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You not shot? Well, I mean, it was buckshot. It wasn't, I mean, if I would have been like a few feet closer, it would have done some real damage. Yeah, my brother shot me a hunting accident when I was like nine.

That's like a Dick Chaney thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, absolutely. But Buckshot sprays. Yeah, yeah. Well, Dick Cheney shot his best friend in the face. With buckshot? With buckshot? Oh, that's why the friend survived.

That's why the friend survived, yeah. Oh, sprays. See, these specifics of guns and stuff, I don't know them. Yeah, there's not. With Bucshot, it's just tiny little pellets. Gotcha. Which up close will fuck you up worse than anything. But the further away you get, the more it's just kind of like little pellets that you got to

fucking dig out with a knife. Why is it good for Bucks? I don't know why they call it Bucshot because it's terrible for Bucks. But I imagine though, like the more areas it hits, the better it is like the better chance of them killing it. You can hit a fucking, you can hit a fucking buck with a rifle. And if you don't hit them in the right spot, you'll fucking still live for. a day or two. Is it between the eyes?

Between the eyes and then the heart. Yeah, I find it. You shoot him in the butt? He's going to be living for a while. Oh, poor buck. Yeah, he's just going to run off and bleed to death. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, but then you go find them on your land. Yeah, you do them. Yeah, fill the bugs. Enough hunting.

I'm sorry. It's page seven. Yeah, that's what we do here. Bill of your fever Shine on me I love you Shot on life Oh the views got a new permanent coho Oh my god Yeah Raven Simone

That's a Raven It is definitely one of my favorite jokes It's so dumb Just say that so right No rather than saying that's so gay Since Raven Simone is homosexual Now you can say that so Raven

Oh that's fun I like that Right? Yeah. Splash it up. Yeah. It's all right. Splash the whole thing out. Splash it up.

I haven't seen her on the view. How is she? Is she fun? I don't know. I mean, she's one of the biggest co-hosts. Like, she's the person or she's one of the biggest villains. She comes in quite a bit. She's good friends with Whoopi Goldberg because she was the lead in Sister Act the musical a couple years ago.

Whoopi Goldberg fell in love with her and her little personality. And so she's now part of the view. Is it the first movie? So there's no Lauren Hill character, is what you're saying? I don't know. I haven't seen Sister Xx since I was a child. See, I imagine you would be up on your theater. Specifically your musical theater, Marcus.

Don't look at me. Sister Act 2 would be the one I would want to watch a musical of, not the first one. Explain why? But you guys don't. No. Because it's all about the kids. And that, it's like Lauren Hill, like it's all about her being like a hood. and she just wants to sing

and then her mom says singing don't put food on the table singing don't pay the bills Molly would you care to guess what Sister Act 2 is called remember it's about Back in the hood Back in the habit

It's back in the habit and they have this insane They have an amazing closing number at the end of the fucking talent show and it is stellar and in my high school I learned the entire dance and I taught it to about 30 other high schoolers. Oh, that's cute.

I think I may have sung it. I know I sang a sister-act song in high school choir, but I'm not sure which one it was. Make a joyful noise. Is that some sister act? Make a joyful noise. Maybe. Nope.

I'm not as familiar with the first one. It's hard for me because my high school also just sang a lot of Catholic songs. Fair enough. So I can't distinguish what is Whoopi Goldberg Catholic with what is just actual Catholic. I just always wanted to be Kathy Najemi. Who's the fat, white one?

Okay. Yeah, you know Kathy and Jimmy. That's Kathy Nagy. I love her. She was in Veronica's closet. Olive Massery. That was her name in Veronica's closet. That was her name?

Olive Massery. That is a bad name. Also in Hocus Pocus. And also, I did not know this. With this. Peggy Hill. Kathy and Jimmy. And King of the Hill.

Yep. Holy shit. Yeah, you didn't know that? I didn't know that. That's why I fucking love Kathy and Jimmy so much. She's amazing. She's fantastic. And then she lost a bunch of weight and then they couldn't use her as like the big fat woman anymore,

the big fat funny woman. Which nowadays it's like really, it's kind of vogue to have a fat woman in things. but I dare say. Kathy and Jimmy was the first one. Good, good for you, Kathy and Jimmy. Like fat, funny white girl? Yeah. Hmm.

Like Rubble Wilson. Think about it. Think about it. McCarthy. She was so fucking funny. But then she did like the high pitch things too. But she was like kind of like was chased but not that chased. But definitely chased, but thought less chased.

You guys don't know sister X. So I don't know why. I'm sorry. I wish I did. I know I'd like it. She is worth $4 million. Man, Molly, if you watch Sister Act 2 back in a habit, you would totally, totally fucking dig it. It's exactly your whole entire life.

It's my life. Except you're not a nun. I do do a lot of... And you don't teach Lauren Hill. Well, not... The next Lauren Hill. Is this pre-Fugees Lauren Hill? Is it a child star, Lauren Hill?

Not Child Star. I mean, she was definitely in her early 20s. I remember she's saying his eyes on the sparrow. and it was beautiful. And then one of the nuns heard her singing it. And she was just like, oh, she has to sing, but she wasn't allowed to sing. She was allowed to sing in the choir because her mom had a, her father was a singer, and he fucking left the family.

So that's why her mother didn't want her to say. I get you. And do you find that, I guess, in the third act when you find out, because you're wondering the whole time, like, why did she hate the singing so much? And then finally it's like, because your daddy left me. No, she knew the entire time. But what she did was she hid from her mother that she was singing in the choir with all of the other kids. And the mother walks in in the end and watches her sing this solo.

And she realizes she was born to be a singer. She was fucking born to be a singer. Sister Act 2 right before the Fugees. All right. Got to see it. To be honest, I never pegged Lauren Hill to Sister Act 2. Oh my God. It's so good.

I feel a bit foolish about that. Don't feel foolish. I've seen it 100,000 times, but that's one of those weird ones that I've seen 100,000 times. Roger Ebert said about her performance in Sister Ag 2. She was the girl with a big, joyful voice, but her talent was thoroughly wasted in Sister Act 2. She was. Thumbs down. With that gave her, no, but she did a great fucking job.

She did a great job, but she was the only bright spot in Sister Act 2. Oh, I don't fucking think so. I severely disagree with Roger Ebert. File a complaint. I'm going to fucking put down to write a goddamn letter. I don't agree at all. It is a wonderful movie. It makes you want to fucking sing.

Well, Roger Ebert was a known crank. It made me believe in myself. It made me believe in myself. All right, well, we got to do a quick one today, so it's time for the list. We hate quick one. Who's on the list? Got to have that list. We're starting a new thing here this week.

We're doing little known. celebrity deaths over the last week. Love it. Because, you know, this week has been a big, a lot of big one, Christopher Lee, which I was very upset about. You know, the dude, the wrestling dude, Dusty Rhodes, there was a couple others. Ornette Coleman, that was a big one for us jazz fans at least. But we're going to start this week.

Big Time Sarah, an American blues singer, died last week at the age of 62. She was born in Coldwater, Mississippi, and raised in Chicago. go, sang gospel songs, big time Sarah. Have you ever heard of her before? Not once. Have you listened to any of her music yet? Not one. Do you have anything pulled up?

Let's see. Big Time Sarah. Big Time Sarah was only 62 for fuck sake. Man, that sucks. How'd she fucking die? Too much love? Too much sadness. Big time Sarah does seem like the type of woman that would die from too much love.

I feel like Odetta died from too much love. All right, Big Time, Sarah. There's Big Time. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, my God. I want to be her. Yeah, she's great. I want to be her so much.

In my, when I look into the mirror, I see Big Time Sarah. I look just like her, but I'm white. Yeah, actually, you do. I do look a lot like her. Down to the black T-shirt with the band logo on it. Not today, but. Not today. In general.

Rest in peace. All right, Pete. Sarah. So we should look up big time Sarah. We should give her a good send-off. Yeah, look up big time Sarah. She's got some great YouTube stuff from what I can see. She looks like a wonderful woman.

Down South woman. Now, what about, do you know anything about that wrestler? I am going to go ahead and plead ignorance. Dusty Rhodes. I know Undertaker. I know the heartbreak kid. If you want to hear someone talk about wrestling, go listen to every other fucking comedy podcast.

Damn! He just fucking threw it. Throw it down. He broke it down. Yeah, I saw all that stuff. I was like, I don't know he is. I feel bad. I'm sorry, he's dead.

Sorry, dusty roads. Also this week, Blaze Star, American stripper and burlesque comedian. Uh-oh. She starred in the 1962 film, Blaze Star goes nudist, aka Blaze Star goes back to nature,

aka Blaze Star Goes Wild, aka Blaze Star the original. Right on Blastor. And AKA Bustin Out. Good for you, girls. Should have just kept with Bustin Out, but I thoroughly appreciate what you did. Blais Starr, known as a vivacious woman with red hair.

Here's a picture of the lady right here. Somewhat of a... Good Lord. Holy shit, Blaz Star. You're gorgeous. With the red hair. When were those pictures taken? That's scandalous.

Oh, my goodness. Super scandalous. Oh, yeah. Great. Oh, amazing, body. That was back in the 60s. That was about 1964. Diane Arbus did a photo series on there.

She died last Tuesday, 83 years old. She'd been worried about the health of her dog, whom she adopted as a stray. Her sister believed the stress, along with a severe heart condition, killed her. The dog died hours later. Oh, it's like old couples who die within hours of each other. Man, that's so sad.

Oh, RIP Blaz Star. RIP Blaz Star. and the final death this week, Bone Crusher, the champion New Zealand Thoroughbred racehorse. Ooh. Who was both admired

in Australia and New Zealand died. But never in America. But never in America. Died this week at the age of 32. Why was he called Bone Crusher? Is there a reason behind it?

Because he was fucking good. Deal. Wait a minute. Horses live to be 30 fucking two? Oh yeah. Horses live can live to be a very old age, yeah. Good God, I had no idea.

I thought it was like a dog. Bone crusher, September 19-8. He was 33, actually. Oh, they're so big, they have such big hearts. I know, but, oh my God. They can live for a very long time. Good, I had no idea. Molly, when was the last time you wrote a horse?

He just made a horse, so maybe you are part horse? The last time I wrote a horse. Oh, my gosh, maybe I was a child. I may have been 10. Real young. Yeah. Marcus, you ride horses all the time, right? In my dreams, you ride horses.

Every night. I used to, when I was younger, but as I got older, I didn't ride them as much. But when I was a kid, yeah, I used to ride all the time. They're just so fucking big. They're gigantic. I just don't know how I would get up on one. You got to get a boost. The last time I rode was when I was working the ranch right before I moved here.

Herding cattle and such. And, yeah, they're big and they're wonderful. Marcus, how do fat people get on horses? With the aids of stepping stools. Stepping stools and also big burly cowboys? Hot, hot cowboys? There have been, I have known some very fat cowboys to get on horses. Do they have really strong cowboys that help them get on the horses?

No, they have stepping stools. Yes, they are no big, so they might help with a, like, I don't have a leg up or something like that. But usually big, strong cowboys and big fat cowboys. and it won't work together. What if it's a thick woman getting on a horse? A hot, hot man, I'll get you on that horse. Yeah, yeah, right?

A hot male, yeah. A hot baby. What you're getting at is the only way I'll write a horse is if I could get your older brother Charlie to horse voice me up onto a horse. We can make it happen. All right, done. That's all I wanted to hear.

Yeah, they'll get you on the horse. But I want to be on bone crusher. Can we revive him from the dead? Well, apparently there was a song written about Bone Crusher It was called tribute to a champion Bone Crusher You'll get caught up in the

It's Bone Crusher You could It wasn't available in stores But you could Send orders through the Bone Crusher Song Child Cancer Appeal

No No That's not Not Song child cancer Are it like How do we get money With the word child's later

Put the word cancer They'll send us money now Yeah The bone crusher song child Cancer The more you say it The faker it sounds You can buy it right

This is from Bone Crusher Scrapbook Bone Croucher scrapbook I love you bone crusher But I don't believe in your charity Child Rape by an older man's cancer Here it is

Did you buy it? I didn't buy it Here's a little story That we think should be told Yes! By the famous Kiwi Who is only three years old? But now he's 33

He crushed his shoulder badly That's why he's bone crusher His courage saw him through And now he's storming down the track Oh yeah, bone crusher His name's bone crusher Song Child Cancer It's a child charity

But children with cancer Keep diming us money Oh the children will die Of cancer He's the number To give the money Keep sending money Oh we'll kill that chance

You have every one dollar Of every $5.99 Went to the Bone Crusher song child cancer appeal. Every dollar you don't give counts against children with cancer. If you look at it, you don't give money, all the children will die. Well, it apparently came out of a drunken victory bash at the New Zealand Stakes. They were all getting drunk singing it, and one of the guys went home wrote the song that very night.

Well, he was drunk, so he could. He was definitely going on. He said, I was macking around on the keyboard at 1 a.m. in the morning, and I was obsessed with him for the next few months. And then asked my friends to write it, and we wrote it. Oh, Cush. And that'll be up for today's page 7. We got to get out of here on Bone Crusher.

Celebrity Dad Watch. Bone Cusha. Guys, don't forget, give the money. Or those fucking kids are going to death. I feel a WFLE. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Malin Thefton. I'm Augustine.

Crusham. Oh, God. Goodbye, everybody.