Page 7 - Episode 125: Jeffrey Loves the Chicken

Episode Date: July 13, 2015

Paula Deen got some esplainin' to do (although she probably won't and will probably face no consequences) and Tom Cruise is thinking about leaving Scientology, if the rumors are to be believed, which they are. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We can dance if you want to. We can leave your friends behind. And friends will dance. If they don't dance without no friends of mine. Yeah, man, they are men at work. They ain't no fucking hats on. Money, money, money. Ain't it funny?

In a bitch man's world. That is neither men at work or men without hats. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Duff. I'm Marcus Parks, and we've got a bit of a problem. Uh-oh. Looks like someone's got some spleen it to do. Is it Lucy?

Oh, it's Pauldy. Oh, my God. You haven't heard about this yet? I saw it for like two seconds on Twitter right when I was on my way here. We are talking about her son in blackface, right? No, brown face. No, no, no. Dammley.

Damn it, I was hoping that we were going to get to break this to you. You wanted to break that news? I'm sorry. It was a fleeting glance that I saw it. And I have a vested interest in this as a Food Network watcher. Oof. Why? I just showed Molly the picture.

And by the way, it's Paula Dean dressed up as Lucy. Oh, I see what you do. And then it's Desi Arna. Her son dressed up as Desi Arnaz. And if you remember, Desi Arnaz and the Lucy show is Lucy's husband. And also a bit of a coo. Bono, if you will, but also her husband is behind them

in the picture. Yeah, who is he even supposed to be in that picture? He's the guy that says you got some spleening to do it. Oh, I thought he was Ethel. Yeah, or Fred. Or Fred. No, he just looks very disturbed that he's a part of this entire charade. See, what you all don't understand

is that blackface, that's legal. But Bram face, that's just like having a tan. Okay, so... That's what I imagine Paula Dean said. That's going to be her explanation. You kind of did break this for me, though, because I saw the picture, but I didn't realize it was a Lucy...

I saw it so quickly that I didn't realize it was a Lucy and Desi reconstruction. Yeah. Which is why I didn't understand your very specific... Who I specifically don't understand is that this picture is from 2011. Oh, it is? It was tweeted today. Yeah, it was back when she was fucking on top. And it was tweeted today.

Why? Was it tweeted today? Why did they do this? She tweeted? Yes. Oh. Why was it brought up again to be like, oh, remember y'all? I'm racist as fuck all.

The dust was just starting to settle on all that racist stuff I did before. And it's like, I don't even know how to feel about my Pauldine pots and pans because I have a few. Yeah, I didn't know how to feel about my Palladine pumpkin bar recipe at the time. Do I abandon it? No, it's delicious. It is. It's really good. Oh, the caption accompanying the photo read,

Lucy, you got a lot of esplanin to do. Esplanin. Esplanin. And then Esplanin had the little coin. No, G. Just esplanin. And then it said hashtag transformation Tuesday. What?

No. It was a hashtag. Oh, no. The hashtag your surgery poor is brown face Tuesday. It's not a hashtag because. because we don't do that. I can't believe she didn't tweet it like on Cinco de Mayo or something.

Right. But it's just like, I really thought. And like the complete and total like wrong Latin American country. Oh yeah. Cuba has nothing to do with it. Yeah.

It's just, but all, it's just why is her son or husband in it? Why does he, he looks? Is he supposed to be little Ricky? Or is he, is he Ricky? No, he's supposed to be Ricky. Yeah. And if you'll notice that you,

if you look a little closer in it, he's got the brown face, but he's got his fists up underneath his chin, and you can see his hands are still lily white. So that's how you know it's not something that's racist, because he didn't brown his whole body. Yeah, he didn't brown himself completely. Yeah, he's just a brown face. Yeah.

It was just like his makeup was on too dark, you know? But isn't that part of black face also that it looks like a thousand percent? Right? Yeah, it's the oh, mammy day. Yeah, right. You don't do your hands. Well, maybe. But the whole point is like, look at this ridiculous makeup on my face.

I'm making fun of another race. I'm just surprised you didn't have, like, big red lipstick on or something. She's like, show how big and red those Cubans lips are. You got some explaining to do about burritos and tacos. And piniatas. We're doing a taco recipe today. I do love the idea of Pollardine having no idea of the difference between. different Spanish people.

Cuban is so different. So different. Oh my God. But Transformation Tuesday? What does, you know what? Also, maybe I'm being a snagoot over here, but I have never heard of

Transformation Tuesday before, right? Is that a thing? I don't, well, I mean, what else he's supposed to do? But shouldn't that be about like weight loss? Yeah. Or something positive. Yeah.

Even a non-racist costume, honestly, it would be fine. Anything, anything would be fine. It would be better than that. It was deleted in minutes. But it, oh, bitch, you bad at social media because that shit went viral. You can't delete that shit. You can't.

So fast. On Transformation Tuesday, it's kind of a positive thing. It's, you know, half of it. A lot of them are like, hey, you know, this couples being like, hey, you know, we're like three years together today. This is what we look like three years ago. It's what we look like now. That's nice. But like, hey, you know, like I started doing weight loss like a year ago.

That's what I looked like then. This is what I look like now. Well, her son was Cuban four years ago. And now he's white again, so everything is fine in the world. And she was racist a few years ago, but now she's not anymore. So, Transformation Tuesday. And that proves it. Yeah, right.

This proves it because she's hanging out with the Latin dude. Yeah, right. That's also her son. Oh, my God. It's so bad. What a mistake, Pauline. You'd think you would, you'd think after what you went through, you'd, you know, double check, maybe ask another person in the room. Well, I don't know.

If that's the thing, I was talking with Marcus earlier, I feel that there is no way that Paula Dean runs that Twitter account by herself. Most celebrities don't run their own Twitter accounts, or they don't do it by themselves. They have some sort of PR, especially with all the heat she's been in. She doesn't have somebody fucking checking what she's putting out there? A damage control person? Damage control. Yeah. She is unwieldy, very southern.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, and it wouldn't hurt, you know, this is something I feel like whenever, like, a very famous person does something really, really, like, either explicitly racist or just kind of like subtly tone deaf, like, you know, kind of ignorant racist. Is like, are there any, like, non-white people on your entire team that might be like, oh, that's offensive? Maybe you shouldn't do that.

Right. But probably not. Although I have to say in her, I mean, maybe I shouldn't say in her defense, but she probably thought it was silly. She probably didn't see that it was bad at all. I'm sure. Because that's older people of, like, it's like my mom wouldn't think

that that was bad. No. I'm going to say that. Not out of like being mean or racist, she just wouldn't know that's like, oh, you can't do that anymore. It's like, yeah, of course you fucking can't do that anymore. No, it's not malice. It's not even, you know, right. The way it looks though is so bad.

It harkens back to a very bad history that even if you want to be like, I'm not a racist, you are certainly channeling a bad racist current that we all are trying to... But also, let's be real here. I mean, no one wanted to brown face. You know, there wasn't a big brown face movement. No one wanted to be brown. People wanted to be black. And that's the whole thing. I know they're like making fun of them and all that stuff. But yada, yada. I want to be fucking black, but I wouldn't do it. Yeah. Can't do it, man. I mean, I have. but I didn't take pictures of it.

I've definitely gone as Tina Turner before for Halloween. Yeah, yeah. And you know what? You didn't know. You know, I... And you know, and the reason why you did is because you love Tina Turner. And I thought, yes, and it wasn't even like... I wasn't doing it out of malice.

But if I did that... And now I'm going to say that was probably about eight years ago. If that happened now, I'm fucked. Right, but here's the thing. Now, this is why, you know, Obviously, like, there's a lot of hate on the internet, and there's a lot of, like, people getting called out on the internet. And even when Pauline got called out before, there was a lot of like, well, is she racist

in her heart? Is she not? And it's like, yeah, it's not, like, maybe she's not racist in her heart. Maybe she's got a wonderful heart, but these actions are bad. And we don't want them to keep happening. So you got to get, you got to be like, you know what? I won't do blackface anymore. And now you know.

And you won't do it now. That or pay your PR person a lot more money than you're currently paying. Yeah. Or don't hire like your cousin. who spends a lot of time on Facebook to be your PR person, which is probably what happened. Oh, man, but I wish someone could have really taken a picture of the look on my face when I saw this news.

I couldn't get the grin off of my face. It is so fucking funny. I immediately followed her on Twitter. So I guess maybe it's working. Maybe the campaign of, I'm still here. Maybe that's what it is. Huh, guys? And it's amazing because, like I was saying when we were outside,

you know, Paula Dean has fallen from Grace, but her two stupid boys are rising at the top. They're doing just fine. Has she really fallen from Grace? Yeah, maybe not. I mean, not really. And anybody that was going to be pissed, or anybody that was going to drop her for this

has already dropped her before. Anybody that's like, no more Paula Dean. This isn't the fucking straw. Anybody who is still on Paula Dean's team, still going to be on Paul. Paula Dean's team later on today, you know? It was just a funny pitcher. This all.

I don't know why I want being so sars all the time. Oh, what you're up being to serve for. I still like her. You know, like I said, pots and pans, they haven't scraped up a bit. They are, you know. You can get Giazza's pans or. Oh, don't give me a fucking Giazza's pans. That fucking beak nose little hot bitch.

I hate her so much. I love her recipes. And I love her, but she's just too calm to be Italian. And you know that she was reportedly fucking Bobby Flee instead of Bobby Flee fucking his wife, who is the prosecutor from Law & Order SVU. Oh, no. I hate Bobby Fla.

I hate him too. And I hate Giazza. Oh, she got some big tits. Man, watching her cook. And it's tiny body. It is, I think it was because I used to watch a Giazza show with a one Mr. Henry Zabrowski, which Henry, I'm calling you out here,

because he would watch you just because he'd be like, I want to cook you up to dinner. Which is completely understandable. She's hot. That is one top heavy woman. She is hot. Big head. Really tiny frame.

Huge. Huge tits and can cook her fucking ass off. Are you kidding me? Yes. I've done so many of her recipes. I'm like, that fucking sly bitch. Yeah. Same with Bobby Clay.

Asshole. Great food. I know. Yeah. Unlike Rachel Ray, it's all flavorless. Yeah, Rachel Ray's food is not that good, but I do love her. I love her hurt. I'm making her fucking chicken piccada tonight.

I'm making Giata's chicken piccata for dinner tonight. Literally. Oh, man, there's a whole subreddit devoted just to Giata gifts. She is, she's a hot as far. Just to her doing things like. Sexy gifts? Yeah, sexy gifts. Like things like her like this, like her,

kind of hand jobbing. I think it's a rolling pin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hand job and rolling pin. Yeah, her. Oh, I like that. I think there's, yeah, there's a... She's got a good tits.

A lot of things. Look at her... Her body is like, it looks like it's been stretched out on a paint program. Yeah, body's wild land. And she just cooks so good. I completely understand why she's on the food number. But you know what? I can't wait for fucking barefoot contessa to come on.

And I tell you what, I am not. Not wet at all when I'm watching Barefoot Contessa. I'm not wet either. She is a fucking Thanksgiving Day parade balloon. I love her. I love her. With no personality. She's no Snoopy.

She's more like a Finding Nemo. She's always telling you to get the expensive stuff because it's worth it. That's her personality. I know. I understand. But also, I think that your husband is a homosexual and I don't think that he sleeps in the same bed as you. They definitely don't sleep in the same house. No.

in another city all week. But that kitchen. Oh my God. I know. And she's always like, oh, let's go down to the beach for dinner. I'm going to invite my friends over because my husband has always gone. He's always gone. It's so funny.

But she makes him a chicken every Friday. Oh, because he loves the chicken. Jeffrey loves the chicken. I hate the way she says, Jeffrey loves her. Shut the fuck up. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.

I mean, just going on, let's just say, looks alone. I were to say it's like, all right, without tasting any of their food, who am I going to hire as my personal chef? I'm going to go a barefoot contestist. Oh, yes. Definitely looking at both of them and it's like, she's fucking, her tits are amazing, but that woman, she knows her to cook.

She tastes her own food. That's the thing. That's the difference is that Giano was like have like a little bite and she's like, that's delicious. And like her breasts are just like in the olive oil. But it's just like I like watch it's like the bear for contestant is like trying to shove

as much into the mouth as humanly possible. My grocery bill's going to be a little higher because she's going to be like, if I'm going to make it for four for dinner, I'm going to make it for five for pepper. She makes such good food, though. Jam, I want her to be my aunt or something. Yeah, someone that doesn't come over that often.

Yeah, but I couldn't go over it whenever you want for dinner. In the Hamptons. Oh, God. Well, the other, I mean, this whole Paula Dean thing, This is pretty, you know, this is fun and everything like that. But as far as celebrity news, we've got a bombshell on our hands that came out earlier this week. Tom Cruise News. Have you guys heard about this?

Rumor has it. He's thinking about leaving the religion. No. Rumor has it. He's thinking about leaving Scientology. The reason why? Seems like Scientology has labeled his daughter, Surrey, as an SP. A suppressive person.

He said that he was a toll of source. It's because of Katie Holmes, though. Yeah, exactly. But that's the thing, is that she's not letting him around the child because thankfully, Scientology is not powerful enough to, I guess, overthrow a court order? Or to overthrow... Yeah, not yet.

Yeah, not. Well, not yet. I don't think they're on their way down. Yeah, after that documentary. Yeah, after that documentary. So Tom Cruise isn't necessarily a lot to see her a whole lot. by both the court and by Scientology sources that he was talking her on the phone the other day she's telling him all about her ballet recital

and he realizes he's never actually seen her do ballet and it's her favorite thing in the world she loves doing it he realized he'd never seen a do ballet once so now he's starting to think it's like hey this Scientology bullshit I can't see my kids anymore I can't actually see my daughter at all rumor has it he's thinking about it real hard

I don't know. I feel like if there's a rumor about it, that it's either a lie or something. Because, like, I don't think it's something you can just use about aloud. Also, like, how fucking late to the party are you, Tom Cruise, that you've been not seeing your daughter for however long now. Well, he's fucking his head so far up his own ass. He's blinking his lips. That is good, Jack. Thanks.

Yeah. Yep. And they say that he's starting to realize that he's looking back at his life. He's like, okay, so all three, two of my marriages, one of my romantic relationships, Penelope Cruz. Oh yeah, and she was hot. All been ruined by Scientology. My kids are fucking insane. They won't talk to their mother at all due to this goofy bullshit. Oh, the Nicole Kidman kids? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And now he can't talk to his daughter. He can't see her.

He can't be a part of her life or anything like that. How stress-free is that, though? I mean, he doesn't have to worry about anything. He needs to do a stress test. Yeah, talk it out in an audit, right? Yeah, I say, I don't think he's ever going to leave. I don't know. I don't think they're going to let him leave.

Yeah, what if they kill him? I don't think they would get caught. Too high profile. Yeah. You know, I'm thinking it's been this whole story broke July 4th, you know, Independence. America. America. which we had a fantastic Independence Day over on Jackie's roof.

We did. We did. We sung the Star Spangled Banner. The record was it two times. Oh, yeah. During the fireworks, as we always do. Makes you feel good. For America.

For America. We sing the one little bit of proud to be an American that we all know. Which is, because I proudly stand up next to you. And that's it. That's it. Yeah. Because it's really the only. part of the song that I agree with.

Yeah, yeah. But anyways, this came out July 4th. It is now July 7th when we're recording this. No word from Tom Cruise. Because in the past, remember when it was kind of rumor that John Frawe was maybe coming out of that little bit? He jumped on that shit.

Immediately. Tom Cruise, who is supposedly Scientology's biggest booster, strangely silent. Well, because what's he going to do? Be like, no, I don't miss my daughter. Either way, he looks like a piece of garbage. Yeah, right. No, I don't miss that fucking soulless bitch.

I mean, she's a soulless little ballet bitch. But he can't admit that. We can. But he has to be like, I love my daughter. I want to see her dance. Yeah, exactly. He has to fucking, he has to stay out. Man, I bet she's so bad at dancing.

I've been watching a lot of dance moms. And it's like, I know she doesn't have the fucking face for it. I know she doesn't have the pizzazz that a child dancer needs to have. I would be fucking screaming my ass off. I'm going to go with Abby Lee Miller. for Halloween next year. Is she the mean dance mom? She's the mean teacher.

Yeah. So you have been really in the dance moms lately. I just started, yeah. And you just started today? I watched one episode last week and today I watched four episodes. That's not that many.

I figured it would be more. Right? No, no, I'm new. I'm green in the dance moms world. Yeah. But I find myself going, you can't talk to kids like that? No.

I have seen dance moms and I did like, I love reality television, and I even like the mean parts, but I don't like watching adults be horrible to children. Yeah, it's a little rough. It's hard to watch. But watching the moms interact is pretty hilarious. That part, yeah, if they edited it out,

so it was just adults being terrible to one another, I would watch that. It's pretty great. Yeah, totally fun with seeing adults, like, just really letting the worst of humanity just really beyond this way. Well, especially adults that can afford to spend $100,000 a year for dance for their daughter.

Jesus. So that's a lot. That's how much a cost. Yeah, between all the costumes and all the different like competitions they have to enter into and all the like everything. Yeah, it's about $100,000 a year. Where do these people get their money? Blow jobs. Man, I got to start giving more blow jobs.

Marcus, come on. How much money got your wallet? Well, $15. All right, well, I'll give you a halfie. It's a start. I'll get you started. Like CEO blow jobs? Like they're blowing the, they're doing some under the desk shit.

What, blowing the dudes that they married. Yeah. Yeah. Their job is being a dance mom. Yeah. That's their whole job as being a dance mom. If you want to get that dance money, you got to give some blowjo. No, there's one, though, that has her doctorate and she's a professor, and she is, like, very, very smart, but she's not there that often.

So she's constantly getting screamed at, and also her daughter is ripped through the ringer because her mother's not there enough. Because she's not dedicated enough to be there at all of her rehearsals. Because she just like, she's a doctor. Oh, yeah. She's just a normal human being with the job. It's trying to let her daughter do something that she enjoys on her own time. It's pretty insane there to watch this whole thing because that woman is the only black mom on the show. And her daughter is the only black girl in, like, the people on it.

And the girl just did a whole dance routine as Laquifa, who was a drag queen. And, like, she had an afro on and a big, like, leopard skin. like tight outfit on and the mother went fucking ballistic because she's like you're always making her do these jungle themes you made her dress up like like an ape woman one time you made her to oh my godly she and she's like i'm turning her into a goddamn ethnic dancer and like the mother was just like that's not what i want you to be teaching my daughter just turn her into a dancer dancer let her be dancer she's black girl's beautiful let her be dancer she's black she has to be Ethnic.

So weird. Oh, that is fucking creepy as hell. And that's why I watch it. Yeah. I'll tell you, rich white women, man. They're a different breed. Oh, yeah, thousand percent. Oh, yeah, man.

Oh, man, I had an experience on Fourth of July. Actually, I had to physically remove a woman from the cab that I was riding. What? It was me and my roommate and my girlfriend. We're riding home. We're stopped at a stop sign on Havemeyer. And this girl. just fucking opens up the door, sits down in the front seat, and goes,

Thuritan Park. Therthern Park. Just kept saying, and the cabdraiser was like, I have people in here. You must leave. You must get out. Just third, third park. Over and over again. You're in Habermeyer.

You're a long way from home. I'll say, you're in Brooklyn. Oh, yeah. And she got in the front seat because she opened one door and saw that Colin was sitting there. My roommate, she opened the other door. Actually, I locked my door because I didn't think she would be fucking audacious enough to get into the front seat. You mean drunk is fuck enough. Drunk is fuck enough. You're like, oh, this one's done. Oh, this is done. Let's go on the the best front one. It's like her autopilot was just this fucking horrible sense of entitlement.

And so she's just up there 33rd in part. Fucking Carly is like screaming at the top of her lungs because she's just trying to scare her out. Just thinking if she can be fucking as insane. as possible that maybe she will leave. My God, I've never seen a woman scream like that. Man, I kind of liked it. The cab driver's screaming at her. He's screaming, like, I'm calling cops. I'm calling police.

She's like, if you call police a time, he tried to rape me. She said that? Yeah. What? God, damn. And so eventually, like, everyone's screaming. And I just, I'm just in there, like, and there is her dickless boyfriend just sitting there like, please come out.

please come out. Just please come out. And then his friend sitting there. And neither one of them are doing jack shit. So finally I get fucking sick of it. I open up the door. I open up my door. I open up her door. And I grab her very gently, scoop her up, pull her out of the, get her out of the cab, and hand her to her fucking boyfriend. And go get the fuck out of here. Slam the door.

Got the fuck out of there triumphantly. And then once we got to our destination, the cab driver shook my hand and said, thank you, sir. Oh, I'm going to tell him and try to rape me. Fyke. Yikes. Can you imagine saying that in earnest to a person? I'd joke. I mean, I'd make a joke.

I was like, yeah, you're not doing what I want. Because that's the most ridiculous. That's the most ridiculous thing you could possibly say to a person. I bet she would say that if the cops came. Absolutely. Right, the three witnesses in the back. Yeah, just five, like three witnesses in the back saying, The only thing she said was 33rd in Park.

That's the only thing she said. He's been yelling. Carly's been yelling. Collin's been patiently waiting. Of course. Yes. And I've been yelling as well. I physically removed.

But yeah, it's like, what the fuck? And there was a line of cars behind us all honking. Getting fuck is it's a very narrow road. It's a one-way road. Can I just say that cabs bring out the worst in people? Yes. When somebody steals my fucking cab, I want to. kill them. And I'm a non-violent person. And I

it's always a fucking holiday. It's always like Halloween or New Year's. Fourth of July. And you're standing there waiting for a cab forever. And then you're by yourself and then a group of assholes comes up and stands right in front of you and gets the first cab that comes. And then they look at you and they're like, oh, it's this yours. You're not sorry. You're not sorry. It's like losing your mind. Here's a tip for all you people out there in New York City. If it is a holiday or you can't find a cab, if the rates are up on Uber, first try the Uber T.

And then if you can't find an Uber T, go to Uber Wave. Uber Wave is the wheelchair van, the wheelchair cabs. Just the same as regular cabs, but they've got wheelchair accidents. I don't want to steal them from the cripples. No, you don't. They don't steal them from the cripples because there's always like five or six out there. The cripples have plenty and they're not going anywhere at 2 a.m. anyway. I've thrown down a yellow plant for you.

That's where they're saying. It's interesting that it's called Uber Wave because they can't ride a wave. Watch your hands, Molly. I'm shaking my head. You can strap them to a... You know how I feel about this. If you want, strapped them to a bird, do you good? Okay.

But I honestly actually didn't know what Uber Wave was. I did learn something. Yeah, yeah, there you go. You learn something. You're not stealing anything from handicapped people. I don't know if I'd use it. You're not stealing anything from handicapped people. We use it to move bikes all the time and to move furniture as well.

UberWave is there. The handicap, if they need them, there are plentiful. Cabs available. Yes, very many. What are you saying? I like your politics of not wanting to use the resources that are meant for disabled people, but still eagerly using... you know, making fun of my faculties.

I'm fat. I've got my own handicap. I can't go up a bunch of stairs. So maybe I'm the one that's handicapped. Maybe I should be using those fucking cars. I'm a white male in shape. I can do anything. You're on top of the world. That is true. You're never going to get any better. You are at the top. I've peaked.

I've absolutely peaked. I'm done, man. And page seven is done for this week. Unfortunately, we've got to have a short one. But we will be back next week with Much more celebrity news with a list with blind items. It's going to be fucking great. Yeah. Uh-oh.

Because Marcus, you got some sprained in to do. We see you next week.